#i'm sure this is a fine hour to post this

[1toreyouapart]

What It Cost

****THIS IS A FICTIONAL STORY BASED ON REAL PEOPLE. 18+ ONLY. I DO NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO THE PEOPLE OR MUSIC MENTIONED IN THIS STORY OUTSIDE OF LILITH AND SADIE AND MAYBE A COUPLE OTHERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE NOT UP FOR FANFIC INVOLVING REAL PEOPLE***

Terrible summary: Five years since she last spoke to him. Since she last saw him. Now his face and his voice is everywhere. She can't escape him.

Five years ago Noah destroyed her and the life they had built. Now he’s back and seeking to make amends. As much as she wants to say that it's too little too late, is it?

CW/TW: Angst, mention of addiction, cheating. Mention of character death. Language. Smut (later on). PinV, unprotected PinV (wrap it before you tap it, friends), oral (f&m receiving). All smutty warnings happen later on, so I’ll update TW/CW warning labels as those parts are written and posted. If I forget anything, please let me know so I can fix it! Thank you!

Part 6 - Lilith

Noah had text her two hours ago, asking if they could talk. Again. Since then she'd been an anxious mess. Part of her was shocked he hadn't just shown up like the last time. Everything in her told him to tell him no. That there was nothing to talk about anymore. He had said he was sorry and they could go about their lives. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Couldn't bring herself to tell him to leave her alone. What the fuck was wrong with her? She should hate him. So why couldn't she?

Sadie joined her on the back porch, handing her a takeout container and a fork. Lilly couldn't help the smile at the small gesture. She'd sort of started the tradition back when the two of them had just met, always giving Sadie food from her and Noah's dates. Now it was her doing it after hers and Jolly's.

"He wants to talk."

"So, no stomach for food at the moment?" Sadie took the food back, knowing too well what happened if she ate while nervous. It wouldn't stay down long.

"I don't know what to say." Lilly sighed, her stomach starting to churn more forcefully.

"Listen," Sadie began. "I know we all know I'm still pissed at him. But, maybe hear him out? He at least seems like he's trying."

Lilly huffed out a laugh, dropping her head into her hands, elbows resting on her knees. She had expected Sadie to tell her to ignore him or to tell him to fuck off. Which almost would have guaranteed she agree to talk to him. Probably something Sadie had counted on, actually.

"I don't know-"

"Lilly, I heard him, too. He's never sounded like that. Jolly said he's been locked up in his room since." She sighed. "Maybe talk to him. If you don't want to hear what he has to say, that's fine, but at least give him a chance to do what he should have done years ago."

Sadie had a point. Never had she seen Noah like that. Sure, she had seen him close a few times when things weren't going right, but never to the point that he was on his knees, clutching his chest like that. The way he had sounded, like he was breaking. Shattering right in front of her. How unfocused his eyes had been. He hadn't been there in the present. Noah had been somewhere else in his mind.

Chewing on her bottom lip she picked up her phone, debating between texting him back and just calling him. Suddenly Sadie reached over, taking her phone from her.

"Hey!"

"Jesus. You both need to learn how to just get on with it." Sadie laughed, typing out a response for her and hitting send. "He'll probably be here soon. I'll make myself scarce."

***

Her heart leapt into her throat as she watched him pull up, her hands beginning to shake. Fuck. Right now seemed like a real good time to start smoking. Maybe she should have had some wine or something first. Either way she needed something to calm the nerves. Yet here she was empty handed, watching as he climbed out of his car, a tall iced coffee in hand. No hoodie this time. Just a pair of shorts and a plain white shirt.

She watched, helpless, as he climbed the steps onto the porch. Watched as he walked over to her, holding out the iced coffee for her. Her stomach flipped at the realization that he had brought her some kind of peace offering.

"Iced spiced chai, double shot, with a pump of pumpkin, right?" He asked, his voice soft.

"You remember my order." It wasn't a question, more of an observation than anything. Carefully, she reached out, taking the coffee from him, grateful to have something to hold. "Thank you."

Noah nodded, sitting in the chair opposite her. She had to admit to herself she was shocked that after all this time he had remembered something so small. Then again, she clearly hadn't changed much in five years if she still got the same coffee every day. Nervous, she took a sip, not daring to look up at him.

"Sorry about the other night," he started.

"I don't know. I think that's the most honest I've ever seen you, Noah," she quipped, wincing at her own harshness. "Sorry."

"No," he chuckled. "That's fair. That's really fucking fair."

"I'm not sorry that I finally was honest with you. I am, however, sorry that I started having a fucking panic attack, though."

"You're okay, though?" She asked, finally looking up at him.

Now that she looked at him she could see just how tired he was. Like he had barely slept. And deep down she felt bad for him. And maybe a little guilty. Maybe she shouldn't have been so hard on him the other night.

"Honestly? Been better. But, comes with the territory, I suppose."

The two of them sat there, a heavy silence falling between them. There he was, being honest again. The Noah she had known would have said he was fine. He would have skirted around the issue entirely and made a stupid joke.

"Listen, Bambi. I fucked up. Royally. You didn't deserve any of the shit that I did. Even the stuff you overlooked from the start." He grimaced, remembering some of the shit he had done.

"Noah-"

"Nope. Not done. You are also the first person I should have reached out to once I got sober. Instead I've been too chicken shit, as Nicholas loves to point out, to face you because the shit I put you through at the end? That was beyond fucked up. Like, way beyond. I was doing shit just to hurt you. And you deserved better. You still deserve better."

Lilith sat there, gripping the coffee he had brought her, feeling like she was going to vomit. Tears blurred her vision, her mind racing. Here he was, giving her more of an apology than she had ever thought she would get. And as much as she wanted to be angry, she just couldn't anymore. She wanted to scream and yell and call him an asshole, but the anger and the words just wouldn't come. Where did she go from here?

Tag: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard

[originalaccountname]

Ok, so, the bsd mobile game (aka Mayoi) has some cosmetic costume series that dresses some character sprites in different outfits. One of them is for skk and sskk and is circus themed:

we could spend a lot of time unpacking these BUT

the first time I saw Chuuya's outfit, it was on a small promo banner on my phone that cropped him at the hips, just below the belt. Now, you may or may not have already gone through the same few intense seconds I went through back then, but in case you didn't, here's a breakdown of his actual outfit:

And here's the world I briefly lived in where the mobile game team went mad with power:

well. they did put Chuuya in a half-corset.

[horreurscopes]

thirty & flirty & thriving / shower drains HATE them

[ahollowgrave]

-- sometimes i want to say nothing and still be understood.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

[jichanxo]

how it started:

how it's going:

[hamaonoverdrive]

I hateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the medical system

[bulletbilltime]

Have y'all ever felt brainrot crystallize? Like something has just etched itself into your soul and will never go away? Even though you were already super into this thing, it's that little shove over the edge that lets you know that no, this is never going to go away. Has that ever happened to y'all?

Because that's where I'm at with my Life is Strange brainrot right now. I didn't think it could get *worse* but here we are. I'm gonna be a crusty old fart hearing the Max & Chloe song and getting war flashbacks. This stupid series is etched into my very being now.

I wish I could give a coherent explanation for why this game has clicked with me so much. There's so much to unpack there. The painted artstyle that evokes the dreamy nature of a memory. The themes of nostalgia, capturing a past long gone, returning to something old and it still being as fresh as it was the day you left it. Things feeling as if you never left at all. Being able to salvage something beautiful out of the discarded memories. A friendship that weathered even the worst of decays. Finding out that the bond was as solid as titanium. Even finding out that it was more than just a friendship, and perhaps a part of you always knew.

(And that's just like... a fraction of the thousands of things that make this goddamn game glue to my brain)

Sure, Life is Strange is far from a perfect game. But the feeling I've been getting as I replay through this game, seeing characters again after nearly 2 years of only reading about them in fanfics, seeing the bond between Max and Chloe... it's genuinely been such a special experience, already far more memorable than even my first playthrough has been. I can tell there's a part of me that's already bracing to make replaying Life is Strange every October into a tradition. And it's one I'm already looking forward to setting into motion.

[bonestrouslingbones]

so with all the goings on i've been playing a metric fuck ton of sims lately and of course everybody i've made has been atbb-centered because i have to do it as cringe as possible but the thing i just realized is i have the main skeletons as like. mostly normal humans. because trying to make them all look like skeletons would turn out fucking ridiculous in this game and since they're the main ones i play i'd want them to look at least somewhat normal. but then when i make any other non-skeleton character i end up looking for more and more custom content to make them look more monstery

[trans-xianxian]

AKHDMCUKSNDM Hours after essentially giving up on getting an education job I got an email back for a position I applied to literally yesterday?? which would be an after school teacher at a private school in the richy rich part of town which is actually so so funny to me but well. it's a job

[strixcattus]

TODAY'S STPLAY GOT EATEN???

[shirogane-oushirou]

ren lap save me. ren lap. save me ren lap. that's my pillow, give it to me.

[polarfarina]

Made some easy meat tomato sauce for dinner and mmmmm even though the tomato part was pre-done it was still so so good and satisfying. Look

So filling. So delicious

[little-fan-stories]

Me: Yeah! Finally a break! First day on vacation, i'll just enjoy my trip and take some rest while being surrounded by nature

Also me: *aggressively type on my phone a fanfiction that i've been daydreaming about in the car about The Bad Guys, also aggressively do sketches of their human version*

[polygondotcomvideoproducer]

my life is naught but a cycle of *hopes that's nothing* *hopes that's nothing* *hopes that'll go away on its own* *hopes that's nothing* *hopes that nothing will come of that for a long time* *hopes that's n

[flyolai-brainrot]

i've been working on this beast atsushi drawing for hours and hours now and i'm......nowhere near done not even 1/4th and i'm

why do i do this to myself lmao