#i'm sure someone has made this joke already

[mmmilkweed]

how do you think the ancients and the beast would react to know that pv and smc had children

I WAS GOING TO MAKE A COMIC BUT ARG HAVE THE TEXT VERSION

For the Ancients... PV was *supposed* to tell them about Smilks pregnancy. He was GOING to tell them. But turns out Smilk gets a LOT worse, attitude wise, and basically.. All his time was spent on Smilk ( for the first 3 months it was just Smilk absolutely abusing his Pregnancy Status. Think: "I can't believe you won't let me do this, I'm carrying your child! " basically having PV wrapped around his pinkie. After that? The pregnancy actually hit him like a bus. Funs over, now he needed PV for real)

For the last 2 months of Smilks pregnancy, he basically didn't speak to any other ancient. All communication stopped. But that's not too far from the ordinary when it comes to PV, so no one questioned it.

Until he strode into a meeting with a babe swaddled to his chest.

First, the ancients were confused. Is he babysitting? Such a young cookie? Maybe. But then again her icing seemed oddly familiar to Vanilla's (minus the slight blue undertones.) So, of course, they asked who's she was. "Why, mine of course! This is Lemon Meringue Cookie." he'd say with a bright smile.

Then they'd be offended. No one is surprised PV got.. Busy.. With someone so soon, but not even introduce them to the mother? That was uncharacteristic. They didn't even know he was courting anyone! And so they voice their concerns. And then PV's face scrunches as he thinks. "Oh. I seemed to have forgot to send the letters. My apologies. Shadow Milk Cookie became a whole lot more.. Demanding, once he got pregnant."

Oh the silence that followed. All eyes on Pure Vanilla. They just stared at each other, PV shuffling in place, uncomfortable. At once, the table erupted. Hollyberry was the first to speak: "She's adorable!" Golden Cheese's face seemed both disgusted and impressed: "You bed the Beast of Deceit?!". Dark Cacao threw a hand in the air. "What were you thinking, Pure Vanilla Cookie?!"

Hollyberry was also the first to stand up and coo over the little Lemon nested against her father. She was already singing the little Cookie's praises. PV warned against touching her - not that he didn't trust his friends, it was just that Smilk took issue with it. Says she'd smell weird if they touched her. PV couldn't tell if it was a joke or not.

Golden Cheese joined her, but instead of praise she scrutinized the little bug. "She's going to have your nose, poor thing." though her tone was fond.

Dark Cacao remained seated, brows furrowed. He wasn't sure of this.. Decision PV made without consulting any of them. He was skeptical, worried PV was getting manipulated. Worried PV will fail to take action when time comes, simply because Smilk gave him a child. So he voiced his concerns. And PV listened, and nodded and agreed with his friend. He already knew - of course he did, spending so much time with Smilk - and he was prepared for the worst. From one father to another, they shared wordless acknowledgedment. "..She is rather adorable." DC said, also joining the circle around the babe.

I'll do the beasts some other time idk, it would be a lot less interesting though. Mostly just "Nah nah guys this is all a part of my plan dw. This has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that PV knows How To Get It On and its hard not to say yes to his breeding kink guys I swear. Anyway this is my second pregnancy and yes it's still part of my plan guys I swear"

[hi-fidelitea]

[paperbagedhead]

Alt Blog | YouTube | Bluesky

[welcometothejianghu]

Guess what we're watching.

[sky-kenobye]

We only ever hear R2 beeping not because he speaks binary but because he swears so much that everything he says has to be censored

[averagehouseenjoyer]

Mom, can we watch WandaVision?

No, we have WandaVision at home.

WandaVision at home:

[homoquartz]

everything everywhere all at once is a movie where the righthand image defeats the left

[domesticadventures]

foul bauble of man's vanity

[starsfromtoulon]

[starsystems-fr]

Me putting myself on a ton of Swipp pinglists: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!

Me getting a ton of pings: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

[mightybeaujester]

Nastya Angst? Do you mean "Outch"?

[boo-cool-robot]

Itachi. To me.

[aventuras-de-andre]

“My dream is to protect humans.” His voice was cool and gentle, like that of a parent watching over their child. “And right now, that dream is about to be realized. I got to protect you. That is enough for me.”

[murky-galaxy]

[untherapized-eddie]

"this whole thing between us has been messy and hard"

"i'll show you what i want to be messy and hard"

[reddstardust]

"Hey. You know The Magnus Archives?"