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#i'm sure i'll have more in the future too
leoruby-draws · 12 hours
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Been on a bit of a roll with posting my drawings lately, just getting rid of some backlog. Anyways, here's a funny doodle of the batkids bothering their big brother Nightwing on a date with Starfire. They're so annoying lmao.
Its kinda a sequel to this comic from way back. I say kinda because I meant to put with the comic itself but I was too lazy to do so. But I'm posting it now!
Speaking of that comic, I got an ask asking for a follow-up to it showcasing Dick and Starfire's kids getting some 'revenge' for them. Here's Mar'i (NightStar) and Jake Grayson popping in from the future! (btw I accidentally deleted the ask, feel bad esp considering how long it took to actually do art they wanted.)
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They're all having so much fun! Look at little Jake, I actually wasn't sure if I should put him here since Mar'i is from Kingdom Come and Jake is from The New Order. Two different universes, the ask did ask for both of them so I did so. Also I forgot his eyes were green, aw well.
Speaking of Kingdom Come, I remember reading that in my middle school library along with some other DC/Batman comics. I was already a total weeb and loved manga so I decided to try out western comics too (since I did like the DCAU cartoons). Read them for a few weeks got bored, then picked up Akira and wouldn't read superhero comics again for more than a decade. Just weren't as easy to get into as manga, took some effort to try them again.
Anyways, here's an extra Mar'i as Nightstar:
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I love her outfit, such a wonderful design. And its fun to play around with it too, its fun. But I'll probably take off those wings on her headband, they clutter the design I think. Gosh I love doing her hair its so fun.
Here's an extra Mar'i, with Jake included:
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Would Mar'i be Robin as a kid? Or take on a different kid hero persona? How about Jake? Just played around with some costumes for them. Look at Jake clinging to Mar'i, think she'll be a good big sister?
Played around with Nightstar's outfit some more . Wanted to draw them longer so make it look like actual wings on her, and also like tassels on a performer's costumes.
Well this was fun to do, hope you like all this!
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17020 · 17 hours
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TU CORAZÓN ES MÍO — ORQUÍDEAS X WINBRE.
There is absolutely no one like him. All you hear is that young love is nothing more than miserable. With him, though, it's the complete opposite. He is your present and future, going through thick and thin together. Your heart is his, and his heart is yours.
STARRING . . . Ren Kaji, Jo Togame, Toma Hiragi. fem! reader
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DICEN QUE EL AMOR EN SU JUVENTUD
SOLO TERMINA EN DOLOR... featuring REN KAJI
Ren Kaji was tired of hearing the same bullshit that came from every old fart's mouth. That young love isn't meant to last, not one bit. Every second spent together will eventually crumble, and it's best to go your separate ways before life itself sets you apart. Right?
Hell fucking no. Ren Kaji was sure that they must have had shitty, unhappy lives, because there was no way he could imagine life without you.
Sure, things were not always a bed of roses. Kaji knew that he wasn't exactly the best type of person to deal with, so he knew that it could take a bit for him to get used to things. And truth be told, he was glad you were patient.
Relationships weren't his strong suit—hell, you were his first one. His inexperience and his temper made it a wild ride, but you were willing to welcome him with open, loving arms. Your embrace made him forget about everything else: no person, comment, or action could come between the two of you. You were inseparable.
His first date, first kiss, first time, you were present in all. The more Kaji spent his days with you, the more he realized how many idiots he had heard say that this wouldn't last. He was determined to prove them wrong.
And he knew that he was being hasty, the way the velvety box slipped from his fingers many times was enough for the world to know that for the first time, Ren Kaji was anxious.
Fresh out of high school, he bolted through the busy streets. His destination? Your home.
Because after a nasty fight, he knew he had to make things right. He couldn't afford to lose you—not now, not ever.
When you heard a knock on your door, what you saw left you speechless. Your boyfriend was absolutely disheveled, with his hair all over his face, his eyes brimming with tears, and an open velvety box in his hand, revealing a thin band with your birthstone.
"I don't give one shit that we're young, but I want you to know that my heart is yours. This ring's all I have for now. Yn, marry me."
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WHAT DO THEY KNOW?
THEY'RE MISERABLE, BROKEN, AND ALONE... featuring JO TOGAME
It had to be kept a secret. For both your sakes.
Because if the townspeople were to know that Bofurin's most beloved princess was involved with Shishitoren's second in command, frankly, a war was to take place.
It wasn't as if Togame was a complete asshole, but first impressions were always of upmost importance. And Jo Togame had screwed up by being a douche to Bofurin and falling for someone in enemy territory.
He was running out of excuses.
From having to run errands, being too tired and having to head home early, or even having to go to the bathroom and mysteriously spend hours looking for one, Togame always had a little lie up his sleeve in order to sneak out. It got difficult with time as Choji offered to accompany him in his errands, and Sako questioned him on why his lips were swollen, a red tint smeared across them.
"So, who's the lucky gal?"
"Dunno what you're talking about, I drank beet juice, that's all."
"Does beet juice leave your hair messy and give you hives on your neck?"
Togame chuckled as he raised his hands to his head, patting down his hair in an attempt to fix it. "Don't push it. I'll bring her over when I'm ready."
Sako stared at Togame with wide eyes, seemingly unable to process that he had indeed accurately guessed Togame's secret activities. "It's that serious?" he asked, with his raven haired friend humming in return.
"Best thing to ever happen to me. Keep it on the low, will ya? Don't want this spilling out."
Togame’s secret was well kept until a few weeks later, when he found himself inside a popular restaurant which was the borderline between Bofurin and Shishitoren territory.
And technically, he tried his best to be discreet. The restaurant’s popularity had skyrocketed overnight, which essentially meant he was to be more wary. A cap was on his head, with some dark aviator shades covering his eyes. All that hard work for nothing, as his infamous jacket was still draped over his shoulders.
The ‘disguise’ was worth it, though, as a smile grew on your face from how ridiculous he looked. It was a sign that Jo Togame was willing to go above and beyond in order to make you happy, and you were sure to keep that in mind.
“Jo, aren’t those your friends?”
The look on his face was indescribable. He whooshed his hand in the air in an attempt to call a waiter and ask for a check, and ended up drawing more attention to him.
And there they were, Choji Tomiyama and Kota Sako, making a beeline towards his table, wide eyes and shit eating grins plastered on their faces. Choji was the first to speak up, his hand patting the cap on his friend’s head. “What’s with the look, Kame-chan?”
"Is this the girl you told us about? Wait—isn't she—"
"She is" he sighed, "which is why I wanted things to be lowkey."
Sako looked distressed, his hands stuffed inside his pockets. "Do you know what'll be of us if Bofurin was to find out about this?"
Togame simply smiled in return, intertwining his fingers with yours.
"If Bofurin finds out and has a problem, it means they're miserable, broken, and alone. I love Yn, and I'd to through hell and five steps beyond for her."
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A ESTAS CALLES NO VOY A REGRESAR PA NADA
TENGO ALGUIEN QUE ME AMA... featuring TOMA HIRAGI
No matter how many men you met and dated, you never seemed to find yourself comfortable with them. From them being too little or too much, you thought you'd never find the perfect match.
And your best friend Toma Hiragi had the pleasure to hear all about it.
"I mean, the date was horrible!" you exclaimed, running your fingers through your hair. "He spent the whole date on his phone talking to his friends, and when it was time to pay, he expected me to do so! I got so angry I stood up and left him on the spot. Even the waitress supported me!"
Toma sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "And ya went on this blind date because...?"
"Because I want someone who can treat me right, Toma, and so far I've found nothing but assholes."
He loved the way his name rolled so smoothly off your tongue. You were his closest friend, the one he went to for everything. Hearing about your love life mishaps was enough for him to stuff his whole stomach with pills.
"Oh, for fuck's sake..."
"What?"
"Ya know what? Friday. 7pm. Dress nice."
"Why—what for?" you asked, to which Hiragi just facepalmed. "You complain so damn much about assholes, figured I'll just take ya to dinner instead. So, dress nice, and don't make me wait."
As soon as you heard those words, you knew your life was about to change. Because Hiragi doesn't do things for anybody, so for him to ask you to dinner was huge.
It wasn't a one time thing. Each week, you found yourself in various food places and arcades with Hiragi, with his excuse being that 'this was a way for you to shut your trap.' And it worked?
There were no more blind dates, or random hookups. Just Hiragi taking up more and more of your time every day. You couldn't lie to yourself, it felt like heaven.
"Toma, why do you keep taking me places? I don't want you to do it if it's out of pity, y'know. Save your cash."
He shook his head in response, "Save it? I've been waitin' for this since forever ago, ya think I'm gonna waste my chance?"
"What do you mean?"
"My heart's always belonged to ya, stupid. It's about damn time ya know."
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taglist (open, yippee!): @stunie @kaiser1ns @nyxypoo @karasuglazer @littleplantfreak @maruflix @heartkaji
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sunnyaalisse · 2 days
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Wanna know how to manage anxiety effectively? (I'm a psychologist) Formulate your anxious thoughts in a form of "What Will I Do if X happens?" and then answer as best as you can. You will find that there are 4 main types of situations your anxiety might be asking about: 1) nonsensical, unlikely, useless (WWID if I get kidnapped by a UFO?) 2) rational, predictable (WWID if I get a bad grade?) 3) rational, unpredictable (WWID if I go to a new job and something bad happens?) 4) unpredictable and uncontrolled (WWID if I get attacked on my way home?) Here's how to deal with each type: 1) unlikely, useless, nonsensical? answer it like the person who's asking you this question is a 13 year old child who's trying to annoy you. "that would suck, Timmy, but it sure would make a cool story that I would tell to anybody who would listen if I survived" 2) rational, predictable? make a date with this question. find time to sit down and legitimately think of a plan on what you're going to do. "I'll go talk to the teacher, ask what I can do to improve my grade, then I'll talk to my friends and ask them to explain the topic to me, then I'll talk to my parents and explain the situation if they're interested in hearing about it" 3) rational, unpredictable? you don't have to answer it in a detailed way, just decide on the first few things you will realistically do in any sort of distressful situation. "I'll call my friend and tell them about my situation, then I'll buy myself some ice-cream and figure out my next steps with the help of relevant people, google and determination." 4) uncontrolled? plan for what happens after the part you can't control, once you're in charge again. "I'll call the police, I know where the nearest hospital is, I have my friend's numbers memorised so I'll call them, either way I'll deal with whatever happens once I'm in control" anxiety related to the events that already happened (I said "you too" to the waiter who said "have a good meal") truly means to ask about either the consequences (what if now they think I'm dumb?) or the repeating of the situation (what if I do it again?). you can still reformulate these questions the same way: "WWID if they treat me like I'm stupid next time I'm there?" and "WWID if I say the same thing again, how can I make it charming?" or "WWID to avoid repeating the same situation again, what can I say instead?" anxiety is a mechanism that means to fill the gaps in a person's perception of their future, it seeks clarity, stability, normalcy and control. It doesn't need to clarify IF the situation will happen, it needs to clarify how the situation will be DEALT WITH if it does happen. unanswered "what will I do if..." questions tend to become a broken record because the need for clarity is not fulfilled. more often than not if the needs for clarity and normalcy are fulfilled, anxiety lets up. even questions like "WWID if I die?" can be answered: "if there's an afterlife I'll try to punch god" or "I'll ask if they have soda here" or "if there's no afterlife I'll do nothing, but the world will go on without me, complex, busy and beautiful" also, since anxiety can be caused by physical factors like exhaustion and overuse of caffeine, dealing with these factors could be very helpful. this type of anxiety doesn't come from the mind, it comes from the body, so grilling yourself with questions won't help in this case. rest, nourishment and sleep will do a lot of good though.
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juniorig0327 · 2 days
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Random 2:30 Thought
So I'm just up thinking and honestly I'm thinking about HOO and like, what if the conflict between the Greek and Roman camps was bigger than what it was.
Like, thinking about a way to integrate the Ottomans and Franks (I wanted to put Byzantine but they didn't have a religion pre Christianity and I'm sure not sure how that would be integrated, maybe in a way similar to Egyptian magicians??)
Because the Greeks have a long history outside of Romans and basically struggled for true independence for a very long time.
Could possibly develop an issue that goes deeper than the Athena Parthenos, grudges of the ancestors still being carried by modern demigods, just because they were told to hate these people.
Have the Seven be a mixture of all of these (could get a magnus chase crossover with the Franks since their religion was essentially of Norse origin I think lol.)
We have characters learning to overcome their prejudice and going through conflicts. Having one character (probably Percy) being the one to truly bring everyone together. The Uniter of [insert some cool title here] and bringing everyone together.
Them trying not to fall apart in the inevitable Tartarus fall and them pulling themselves back together on their way to the house of hades and the doors of death and becoming found family.
(I still think Percy should've killed Gaea imo and he was written off too quickly as not an option, especially when he was talking about killing Gaea w his bare hands or something like that so.) And finally at the end the camps (or whatever they'd consider themselves to be) finally uniting with the "death?" of Percy and his honorable sacrifice, the beginning of a new future, ambassadors being set up, facilities being built. All of the camps would unite maybe under an alliance, one more step to the actual safety of demigods (now that they're being claimed).
I dunno it sounds sort of cool since Greece and their history is really crazy, so bringing it all together against one of the strongest primordial beings, fixing what's broken, bringing hope for new generation of demigods is just wow.
As I'm writing this, I honestly could do something for the Byzantine Empire as far as including them, I'd just make them more like the Egyptian Magicians compared to demigods.
As for how they'd meet for the first time, that's a little complicated, especially because having five leaders or people from five separate camps seems a little too much.
Maybe the quest would go as normal but like at the beginning it's just Jason, Percy, Hazel, and Annabeth (maybe not "officially" being apart of the Seven but instead just being there for the Mark of Athena? I just feel like Hazel would only really work as apart of the Greco-Roman pantheon just because of her backstory directly relating to Gaea like it does so I wouldn't be able to revamp her character and drop her in another pantheon) traveling to pick up the rest of Seven.
Anyways I've been writing this for twenty minutes so I think I'll stop lol.
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doubleedgemode · 1 month
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Happy summer, everybody!
This has been a big project to take and while there's stuff to improve I'm pretty happy with it. Be sure to zoom in the big picture for details and read the comic from left to right. (Needless to say, please don't try A.B.A's behaviour.. For your safety)
Bonus doodle:
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#a.b.a#paracelsus#slayer#guilty gear#I almost forgot slayer's shirt pattern! I was also supposed to draw his cape floating over sharon to shield her from the sun but...#this whole drawing collection took roughly a month to complete and I forgot. I'm too tired right now#speaking of. it's my first time drawing sharon I hope she's okay!#yes slayer carries and wears in the nose his 200 spf sunscreen from xrds treasure hunt animation :)#as for the big main picture. it left me quite exhausted and I know the lighting leaves a lot to be desired but I'm proud! learnt a lot#first time drawing blue para too. I hope his metallic sheen is alright#more than aba's skin sheen for sure. I'll improve it in the future! btw tweaked a bit her attire's palette from last time and made her keep#the headband cause trying to figure out how her hair would properly fall was a hassle lmao#fun fact: the bird is an european herring gull#the crab is an edible crab and the palm trees are coconut palm trees with no fruit lol#I wanted to draw fan palms which are a kind of palm tree that deserves more love but the leaf shape was so difficult to draw#I did struggle a lot with these two.. they look more like feathers but again. that can be studied and improved in the future#despite all the lows summertime can have for me whenever it's a nice day and we can go to the beach I feel everything is worth it and will#be okay. hope I could translate that here. hi new people I tend to ramble a lot in my post tags#art tag2b named#sharon
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oneluckydragon · 1 year
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I know it's a story, oh I know it's just a story. But why does it feel like my worst nightmare?
My Explorers of Sky Hero, Echo!
Lately I've been writing a study on her and this paragraph is taken from my rough rough draft. It's a more in-depth exploration of her character/origin/experiences and since I am a huge fan of the darkrai reincarnation theory, this is my personal take on the concept.
I think it's a bit poetic that Echo, in the aftermath of everything, winds up as a dark-type again (and one connected to the moon no less, the irony) as well. I mean, her timeline of lives has literally been this:
Darkrai (New Moon/Pitch Black) -> Human -> Eevee (Evolution) -> Umbreon (Moonlight)
A lot of her evolution into umbreon has to do with her personal trauma/amnesia and also significant influence from dusknoir (who she trusted and cared about), but deep down I feel like her evolution was also partially determined by the fragmented remnants of her original self. She even tried to evolve into leafeon, which obviously, did not work out as planned. Perhaps this is her past lives way of manifesting in her current self, though she is no longer the same pokemon anymore. Maybe it has something to do with self-forgiveness or acceptance? She still has a lot of healing to do, though.
Once evolving into a dark type, Echo slowly starts to regain some of her memories from her time as Darkrai. And Team Wish's new friendship with Cresselia, who is more perceptive than she has any right to be, gives Echo a lot of insight into exactly who she is. This spirals into Echo battling the reality of her past actions alone for a long time because how is she supposed to admit the truth to Sora? That she was the direct cause of their shared suffering? That she and darkrai are one and the same? That all of the pokemon of the future lived in an eternity of hell because she desired it? Of course, she keeps quiet for a long time out of pure fear-- because if Sora rejected her, she'd fall apart. It's a lot to keep secret but what else can she do?
And bonus!! Does Echo's shadow change during each night of the new moon? Hmm. Sure does seem like it.
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deoidesign · 1 month
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Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.
Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!
Hi there!
Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!
It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!
I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha
I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then
I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...
The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.
It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.
Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.
I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.
I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.
#asks#steakandpeanutbuttersandwiches#I'm SO sorry youre new and you asked me such a benign question and I responded with... this... LMAO#I swear to god I tried to make it as short as possible#theres just a lot auauuaghkhgjk#basically. way too much work. not enough money.#so it either is gonna be good and take longer or be worse but come back faster#and I chose to take longer#so.#I'm really sorry and I wish that this decision didn't also come with the... pretty much guarantee that it will negatively impact my career.#I will lose readers. I will lose potential readers for my future work. it looks bad on me as a creator to take such a big break. etc. etc.#but it's good. it's so good. you have to trust me it's like the best stuff Ive ever written#it. ok well to be honest#it'll probably feel extremely simple and extremely natural#but it's been SO much work LMAO#I am not exaggerating I have written over 200 pages of scapped ideas to get to where it is#I'm sure it won't make sense why it took so long while reading but you gotta trust me LMAO#ideally it doesnt even 'feel' different right. cause its gotta be cohesive with the whole thing#but there is SO MUCH TO WRAP UP#THERES SO MUCH#and to make that feel natural in this little space oh my GOD it is so hard#ok omfg I'm doing it again I'm going on way too long again IM SO SORRY#YOURE NEW HERE AND IM DOING THIS IMMEDIATELy#this is like 90% for my followers who I know are curious about this and I'm just using you as a jumping off point to talk about it#cause I don't really like to make standalone posts very often#I likely will make some kind of official announcement about it when the date is extremely set in stone#right now I think it's still only tentatively scheduled so it could still change#and I'll say something more... refined and restrained... then.#but for now this is like. actually everything. I think#I'm sure I forgot something but whatever lmfao
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starflungwaddledee · 7 months
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Do you take commissions? If so, do you have a commission sheet? I’m sorry if this is an annoying ask I just really love your work lol
not annoying at all! i really really appreciate this a lot, thank you!
i have done commissions in the past on other platforms, but for now i am not taking them here. i'm not saying that i never will, because sometimes life is.. you know. Like That™️. but for now i'm steering clear of it to try and keep my passion up! 👍
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spamtoon · 7 months
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i would take their poison
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Sketch + Line Art for those Clicking Under the Cut(tm) (archival purposes honestly)
#moshi monsters#sweet tooth moshi monsters#experimentation i am COG AWFUL at digital dear goodness i was playing with coloring and transparency and all those fun digital doodads.#next time i probably wont have black outline or i'll do it differently. or i'll try well. not doing this. it sure was a process im#i'm an amateur everyone who masically only doodles. does the sketch look better than the final. kinda! but thats okay because im learning#and y'know what. sometimes in life you just need to draw faves no consequences#for how saturated a character they are i kinda feel like i pastelled things too muc and trapped myself with my convoluted layer setup but m#it was looking WEIRD with everything at full force#maybe the sparkles look dumb maybe the hair looks dumb and out of place and why i kinda made the lollipop a little funky too#uhh. first digital piece posted... ever?#the arm is SO fucky i am not that was. thats not what perspective is spam#yes this is what i spent a good chunk of today doing after i started working on coloring it and then. decided to go for it.#cooolrs a little inaccurate on the horns and such but man one of the biggest art things was like#i dont have to have everything at their perfect hex codes all the time. this would look way worse if i just. used their standard colors#yeah this is. instead of looking like its forward and to the right it kinda just looks like they have a Bigger hypno-lolly#especialy becase. i did not bother on the gloves and platforms i the sparkles work with 2 kinda sorta but you know#im practicing! i'm learning! i'll get better and learn how to do things more effectively!#anyway. sweet toof#though hey their arm looks even more fucked in the line art and sketch SO#note to future self have a Consistent Line Art Size so that if you feel like the line art looks like shit during coloring you dont have to#gamble on what size it was while changing it#sketch lollipop looks better i should have kept it small. but its fine. we'll get em next time boys (tm)#yes i know my gif post was so fancy and then the drawing is just THIS
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obeymetournaments · 4 months
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Please for the love of god, change the way you do the polls. I am begging. Please have the votes be for which outfit is better, not which outfit is worse. It's so deeply ingrained that Polls are for voting for the "correct" option or the "best" option, Polls are for voting for the option you want to win. There's been several times now where I've voted for the wrong outfit, because by brain is just so hard wired to vote for the option I want to win. The blog is the only one I've ever seen where things are backwards and Polls are for voting for the worst option. Please, I can't be the only one who's made this mistake?
the whole point is to find the worst outfit--it's what everyone voted on back when I asked what type of poll I should make. Yes I am sure many of made this mistake (hell, i have done so nyself a plethora of times on different polls), but it's fine. It's literally a tumblr poll for dumb outfits who care if you accidently selected the wrong outfit. I also feel as though changing things so far in will make people do the same thing and make a mistake as well, if they are used to how i format it right now. Of course if more people want me to change it, I will, but we're also like official halfway done (more than that, actually). Again it really isn't that big of a deal imo, but if more want me to change it, I will
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thebleedingeffect · 6 months
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#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere#one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions#so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so#despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself#and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral#it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me#not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared#and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her#I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else#but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult#and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side#to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side#she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences#and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control#religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk#having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe#she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough#I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike#and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends#because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting#now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side#it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks.#ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-
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wereh0gz · 1 year
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Me posting abt wanting a sonic lore book from sega made me want to write a lore doc for my ocs
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girlscience · 7 months
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boy howdy, I am working myself into a full panic over this. if I get an hour of sleep tonight it will be a miracle.
#like this is an INTERVIEW. do you know how many job interviews I have had in my life????#compared to how many jobs I have had???????#I GOT REJECTED BY WALGREENS FOR CHRISTS SAKE#I just. this man is holding my entire plan for my future right now in his hands#if he doesn't want me. If he decides I wouldn't be good in his lab I don't know what I'll do#like yeah yeah life will keep going and the world will keep turning and stuff#but I am not joking I will be devastated. and then I will have to TELL people about it#and like I still have yet to hear back from the other school and none of the professors there have talked to me#so idk if I could do what I want to there either (they do have the classes I want so I'm assuming one of the professors does what I want)#and everyone keeps saying it'll be fine and I'll do good and anyone would want me in their lab#but I DONT THINK IM IMPRESSIVE. I compare myself to other scientists and eh. I don't measure up#like sure I have good bench skills and I can learn pretty much anything you set me to#but I don't know how to come up with research proposals#I don't know how to ask good questions about papers I read#I don't have good ideas for further research#like. I did library prep at work for 3 years and we recently hired someone who has more or less taken it over#and he actually understands and talks about the actual molecular processes in a way I never learned#idk I just feel like yeah I'm good at science. but I'm good because I'm good at following directions#I am not actually inovative or creative or increasing understanding#point is I am stressed and people keep telling me not to be but I don't believe them and I am scared that I have got myself too excited#and I am about to be let down very hard very fast#and I don't really have any safety nets in place if it doesn't work out
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mashmouths · 10 months
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@ god if you don't want me to kill myself turn my power back on i am NOT playing
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twilightarcade · 1 year
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meow :3
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color refs for me 🔥🔥🔥🔥
nevaeh thompson, she/he - secretary but not in a sexy way more of a bit of a loser way. They’re all losers
Jacob “”””””jake””””” Mulligan, he/they - always put a particular amount of spiteful emphasis on his nickname being jake if you do mention it, unless you just want to be normal about it
going to let you in on a little secret everyone here really uses any pronouns because like. That’s not my job. Make ur own pronouns dude. But also they CANT so I’m sitting here assigning arbitrary pronouns to them
#notwordswordstag#caustic corp#this pose was originally for a bigger piece I doubt you’ll see but if you do then this drawing doesn’t exist ok?#you may notice they all have slightly different tints of white it doesn’t really mean anything unless you make it which you can#but it’s mainly what goes with their design#iris' white is literally off magenta and I'm not really sure how that happened#they all end up either red or blue and it's super noticeable when they're standing next to eachother and I'm going to try to remedy this in#the future#but also it's not too big of a big deal because 90% of the time I go a bit off ref anyways#their EARINGS' colors however are chosen with a tiny bit more care#idk why this is captioned meow but it's staying <3#I need to start drawing at a reasonable brightness because I swear to you nevaehs face was near unreadable as I was drawing this and I fel#felt bad because I couldnt see what was going on but couldn't fix that#looking at it again it's not nearly that bad#I also neglected to color some of the outlines because they looked about the same color and I figured coloring them wouldn't make much of#a difference but I was WRONG like a fool but it doesn't effect the drawing as a while much#I didn't make the upper half of jacobs arm defined but that's just a him problem I think. I'm not responsible for his arm (I am)#eventually I'll do a wip dump and you'll get to look at all the art that's never getting finished but would be pretty cool if it did#she's holding her clipboard close to her chest which is something I changed from the original because she was#going to hold it behind her back but you couldn't see it then. rude.#specifically with the papers facing away from her
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kakusu-shipping · 9 months
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Finally finished Virtue's Last Reward and I... still can't... add K... to the F/O list......
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