#i'm sure different ones feel different about it ofc

[chappydev]

I don't really think they're like, as useful as people say, but there are genuine usecases I feel -- just not for the massive, public facing, plagiarism machine garbage fire ones. I don't work in enterprise, I work in game dev, so this goes off of what I have been told, but -- take a company like Oracle, for instance. Massive databases, massive codebases. People I know who work there have told me that their internally trained LLM is really good at parsing plain language questions about, say, where a function is, where a bit oif data is, etc., and outputing a legible answer. Yes, search machines can do this too, but if you've worked on massive datasets -- well, conventional search methods tend to perform rather poorly.

From people I know at Microsoft, there's an internal-use version of co-pilot weighted to favor internal MS answers that still will hallucinate, but it is also really good at explaining and parsing out code that has even the slightest of documentation, and can be good at reimplementing functions, or knowing where to call them, etc. I don't necessarily think this use of LLMs is great, but it *allegedly* works and I'm inclined to trust programmers on this subject (who are largely AI critical, at least wrt chatGPT and Midjourney etc), over "tech bros" who haven't programmed in years and are just execs.

I will say one thing that is consistent, and that I have actually witnessed myself; most working on enterprise code seem to indicate that LLMs are really good at writing boilerplate code (which isn't hard per se, bu t extremely tedious), and also really good at writing SQL queries. Which, that last one is fair. No one wants to write SQL queries.

To be clear, this isn't a defense of the "genAI" fad by any means. chatGPT is unreliable at best, and straight up making shit up at worst. Midjourney is stealing art and producing nonsense. Voice labs are undermining the rights of voice actors. But, as a programmer at least, I find the idea of how LLMs work to be quite interesting. They really are very advanced versions of old text parsers like you'd see in old games like ZORK, but instead of being tied to a prewritten lexicon, they can actually "understand" concepts.

I use "understand" in heavy quotes, but rather than being hardcoded to relate words to commands, they can connect input written in plain english (or other languages, but I'm sure it might struggle with some sufficiently different from english given that CompSci, even tech produced out of the west, is very english-centric) to concepts within a dataset and then tell you about the concepts it found in a way that's easy to parse and understand. The reason LLMs got hijacked by like, chatbots and such, is because the answers are so human-readable that, if you squint and turn your head, it almost looks like a human is talking to you.

I think that is conceptually rather interesting tech! Ofc, non LLM Machine Learning algos are also super useful and interesting - which is why I fight back against the use of the term AI. genAI is a little bit more accurate, but I like calling things what they are. AI is such an umbrella that includes things like machine learning algos that have existed for decades, and while I don't think MOST people are against those, I see people who see like, a machine learning tool from before the LLM craze (or someone using a different machine learning tool) and getting pushback as if they are doing genAI. To be clear, thats the fault of the marketing around LLMs and the tech bros pushing them, not the general public -- they were poorly educated, but on purpose by said PR lies.

Now, LLMs I think are way more limited in scope than tech CEOs want you to believe. They aren't the future of public internet searches (just look at google), or art creation, or serious research by any means. But, they're pretty good at searching large datasets (as long as there's no contradictory info), writing boilerplate functions, and SQL queries.

Honestly, if all they did was SQL queries, that'd be enough for me to be interested fuck that shit. (a little hyperbolic/sarcastic on that last part to be clear).

ur future nurse is using chapgpt to glide thru school u better take care of urself

[nosyp]

Heyyy I love your writingsss

Can we please get a smut from player 120? I know she's gentle but like she got jealous or something that she's not so gentle that day:D thank you if you want ofc

Hi!! Thank you! I'm so glad you love my writings🥰 I hope you don't mind that it's fem reader, I could change it too if you want! Js dm or ask again :)

Title = The Game is Changing

Warnings = smut🔞 (badly written), possessive behaviour, kinda dark?, jealousy, rough(er) sex

Pairing = Hyun Ju (Player 120) x fem! reader

Summary = Player 120, usually calm and in control, starts acting strangely jealous when you get closer to Gi-hun. Her behavior shifts from subtle glances to intense, unsettling stares, making the reader feel uneasy and unsure of what's going on with her.

Word count = 1.6k

You’d always thought that Player 120 was the kind of person who would never lose control. The kind of person who was always calm, always calculated, always in charge. Yet tonight, everything felt different. There was a shift in her, subtle at first, but enough for you to feel it. You could tell something was off, something had changed, but you couldn’t place a finger on it.

The night had started like any other, the two of you huddled in the same space, avoiding the chaos going on outside. But as time passed, the mood shifted. You noticed how she kept her eyes locked on you, her gaze far more intense than usual. She wasn’t the type to show jealousy, at least, not outwardly. Yet the way she watched you now… it kinda scared you a bit.

It started when you’d brushed past another player. A simple, harmless touch, yet the way her body stiffened was unmistakable. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides, her eyes narrowing just enough for you to notice.

Then it got worse when you started to get closer to Gi-hun. You mostly spoke to him about the games and asked for advice on surviving them. Gi-hun was friendly, always calm, and seemed like someone who had experience navigating this world. You found comfort in his words, but each time you spoke to him, you noticed Player 120’s gaze growing heavier on you.

You tried to shake it off at first, telling yourself you were overthinking things. But the way her body language shifted each time you and Gi-hun shared a laugh or exchanged words didn’t go unnoticed. There was a tension in the air, something that made you uneasy, and it was getting harder to ignore.

The subtle glances turned into full-on stares, and her usually calm demeanor began to crack. When you caught her watching you, she quickly averted her gaze, but you could tell it wasn’t because she was embarrassed. No, it was more like she was hiding something, maybe something darker. You weren’t sure what was going through her mind, but the idea that you might have pushed a button you didn’t even know existed started to gnaw at you.

For the first time, Player 120 didn’t seem like the unshakable person you had come to rely on. She was different tonight. And no matter how hard you tried to focus on Gi-hun, you couldn’t escape the unsettling feeling that Player 120 was watching you, waiting for something.

You barely had time to react before she spoke, her voice low, almost hushed, but with an edge to it.

“Stay close,” she said.

You raised an eyebrow, confused but following her command without hesitation. The tension between you both was thick, something unspoken hanging in the air. What was going on with her? You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but you knew one thing for sure. Player 120 wasn’t her usual self tonight.

You sat together on the edge of the room, both silent, your breathing slightly quicker than normal. She seemed more aware of your presence than ever before, her gaze flickering over you every few seconds as though she was waiting for something. You tried to ignore the tension, but it was hard.

Then, without warning, she was standing in front of you, her hand gripping your wrist with a force that startled you. The calm, collected player you knew was now someone else entirely. Her eyes locked onto yours, a mixture of heat and something darker in them.

“You’re mine tonight,” she murmured, her voice laced with something possessive, something that sent a chill down your spine. The change was so abrupt, so intense, that it left you breathless.

Before you could speak, suddenly her lips were on yours. The kiss was hard, urgent. It’s like she was trying to devour you. There was no softness, no gentleness that you used to get from her. It was all hunger and desire, and the way she held you close, pressing you into her body, made your head spin. It was as if she couldn’t get enough of you, as if your closeness, your touch, was the only thing that mattered. Her hands roamed over your body, exploring with an intensity that made your heart race.

You didn’t resist. How could you? She had always been there, the one constant in the chaos around you. But now, in this moment, it was like you were hers, and she wasn’t about to let anyone else take you from her.

Her hands slipped underneath your shirt and with one swift motion, she lifted the shirt off of you, revealing you. Her hands explored your body as she peppered you with kisses that trailed from your neck down. She explored you longer, hands slowly moving their way to your bra. And suddenly, without warning, she unclasped it and revealed your plush breasts.

“Mmmh! Slow– down Hyun Ju…” you moan.

She didn’t say anything, and just looked back at you with a deathly glare. Was she mad at you?

Her kisses grew rougher, more unrelenting, looks like you’re in for a long night. Her breath was now breaking up into small pants, chest rising and falling with her every breath. She was now greedy, hungry… and it was… for you. 

Your head started to spin as she continued, her movements deliberate and slow, sending a wave of heat through your body. The room felt like it was closing in on you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away. Every time she touched you, the world seemed to tilt, and each breath you took felt heavier than the last.

Her fingers brushed against your skin with a practiced ease, the sensation sparking electric pulses all over your body. The air around you grew thick with tension, each moment intensifying. You could feel the dopamine coursing through your veins, increasing everything, the way her fingertips teased your pulse, the way your chest rose with every shallow breath.

"You’re so responsive," she murmured, her voice a sultry whisper that seemed to vibrate through your entire being. The sound of it sent a shiver down your spine, and the warmth in your stomach twisted into something deeper, something darker.

Your hands trembled slightly as you reached for her, the need to pull her closer overwhelming. But she was always just out of reach, teasing you with that knowing smile that made your heart race. Each time she looked at you, you could see the spark of something darker, something that hinted at the control she held over you. It was intoxicating.

Her touch was light, almost experimental, as if she was savoring each reaction. The pleasure she gave wasn’t just physical, it was a full-body experience, one that made your head spin and your mind cloud over. Each movement sent more and more pleasure into you, making you crave more. Your body reacted on instinct, chasing after the sensations, the pleasure, like it was the only thing that mattered.

As she continued, you could feel the growing tension between you, the silent promises in her eyes that made your body ache for release. Your heartbeat in your throat, and every nerve seemed to come alive with the desire for more. It wasn’t just about the physical—though that was intense enough on its own… but the way she had you hanging on every word, every touch, as though your very existence depended on her.

“You look so beautiful…” she whispered, her lips brushing against your ear. The words, soft but loaded with meaning, sent another shudder through you, and before you knew it, you were responding without thinking, your body arching closer to hers, desperate for the next touch. “You’re mine only. Mine.”

Your head continued to spin, your thoughts scattered as the intensity built. You weren’t sure how much longer you could hold on, but at that moment, you didn’t want to. You wanted to give in completely, to drown in the sensations she was pulling from you with ease. The dopamine, the pleasure… it was all consuming, and you were ready to surrender yourself to it.

Her right hand slowly travelled down… and down… and now she was in your pants. She started by rubbing your folds, giving you time to ease into the feeling, before quickening her pace rapidly. You needed the friction from her, the heat gradually increasing between your legs. The sensation was becoming unbearable, now you wanted her to go faster, rougher.

Then, she slipped a finger in, evoking a small moan out of you. Every move she made produced a squelching sound from your wetness, her fingers were going so fast you couldn’t even comprehend it. The sounds echoed through the room. 

Each touch made your heart race faster, anticipation building up as dopamine surged through your veins. “Ha-ah! M-more!”

“Mmm… more huh?” she says, and she slips another 2 fingers in. Your tight walls clenched around her, maximizing her movement, but also pulling her in even more. 

“I-I’m so close– ah!… please…” you beg her.

It didn’t take long for you to come undone all over her fingers, releasing all your fluids onto her fingers. And you relaxed, letting your body lean against her. Well that was until, she says… “Wait– we’re not done yet.”

[kaisaerinlover]

Hello! Your stories about big bro sae and rin are so so good and u're doing amazing btw. I was just wondering if we can get a lil bit of a backstory about when it all started, I'm actually really curious about it but no pressure tho u don't need to make it if u don't want to. Anyways I love your lil series about them🫶🥰

hi yes ofc!!!

tw: incest , darkcon

sae and rin always loved you as kids, but they also neglected you alot because you were the youngest itoshi. you’re 3 years younger than sae and 1 year younger than rin and also since you’re the only girl you weren’t really into football as much. they kind of ignored you a lot for football but they did love you. your parents paid more attention to your brothers than you because of their talents in football; also because rin was a bit badly behaved and destructive as a child, so he needed extra attention paid to him, but they didn’t ever teach the itoshi brothers about girls etc because they didn’t really have to. both brothers were only preoccupied with football, their parents were preoccupied with them and that just left the third forgotten daughter.

i think that they wanted three sons, so they gave up after they got a daughter as to not risk it, and as rin and sae grew up they really loathed that there wasn’t a third sibling who could also play soccer; so you were neglected.

probably rin and sae would have developed their weird love/attraction to you when they started going through puberty, because they didn’t really want to be around girls that much; you were the only girl either brother really ever interacted with. and they didn’t have much concept of social norms since they were so invested in soccer their whole lives; so by the time they actually learned it’s wrong they simply didn’t care anymore because their feelings were far too strong to deny. in spain as he got older, and the visits got fewer, sae would be sure to snap a few pics of you, or touch you a bit more than how a brother should his sister, and he would jerk off to it later on. his visits were sparse so he valued all of the time he spent with you, he doesn’t exactly remember when he started realising his feelings but he remembered one incident in specific when you were eating dinner at the table with your parents and rin too and he realised how much you really grew into yourself, you were beautiful. the same lashes as his but they make you look like a princess.

he didn’t fail to notice the way you and rin looked at each other too, the way rin was so… different? the way rin’s hand was on your thigh. the three of you aren’t even sure if your parents know, sae thinks they do know; thinks they don’t care as long as the youngest has a use which helps the two they actually care about excel in their sport.

rin’s attachment to you started after sae left to go to spain, as he grew up and you a little too, he realised you’re all he had left. he grew so attached to you and it turned into a deep attraction which you obviously shared. you loved both of your brothers and being a bit naive and more sheltered, you were less in tune with social norms. you really just went along with what rin wanted. rin never took any interest in other girls before (similarly to sae) and you were the only girl in his life who held any value to him. but nothing really happened yet, you just knew his feelings towards you and returned them graciously. but everything had changed when sae came back on that one particular occasion. it was the very first time he visited from spain, and rin saw the way sae eyed you up. they both felt the same way; rin harboured resentment towards sae so naturally he didn’t like it. he squeezed your thigh in a manner so crude, so unlike him. he wanted to show sae who really owned you.

and that’s how the weird rivalry started, that night, your brothers took your firsts. rin didn’t kiss you before, not properly anyway. sae was in spain by the time he realised his growing affections (and arousal) towards you, so he never got the chance. both of your brothers took all of your firsts. they were really in such a weird competition for you. it would be difficult though because when sae was in spain you tried to text him and call every day, and he indulged you when he could, but you would spend most of your time with rin. so rin and you were attached at the hip for the most part, but then sae would come back and you would cling to him because he would have been gone for so long.

but then rin left you too for blue lock, and they both stopped texting you as much, so then all you could do is watch your brothers play on the tv; the only boys you’ve ever loved; and you were alone at home with nothing. but they came back for you eventually, both did, and that’s how your love evened out a lot kinda. you love them both the same and they’re in their weird rivalry for you. it’s a really weird dynamic but that’s where you would be at right now.

it would honestly start because you guys just lacked supervision and actual attention from your parents. and because they prioritised your brothers over you and didn’t really deem you as their child, just an extension of rin and sae, that’s why if they are aware of anything going on between the three of you they don’t care. rin and sae can do what they want with you because they barely care at all, if it helps them in football and helps them relieve stress so be it. your parents know you’re a good girl (not in a weird way) anyway, and you wouldn’t distract rin and sae from their careers the way they can’t guarantee a girlfriend wouldn’t do either.

rin and sae are really both just perverts in disguise who love their sister far more than they could ever love any girl else. sae would literally steal ur panties whilst he was in spain just to jerk off into them, rin took 3 pairs with him to blue lock as well. they may have left you but the fruits of their hard work were so sweet in the end because now you are showered and pampered in affection every day by them, and their wealth means nothing to them, only if it can buy you a nice gift you like.

they’re just really fucked in the head perverts, and they had eyes for you since you were the only other girl in their life. but they do love you, they love you so much so don’t ever doubt it.

[crehador]

brother crab's fall 2024 first impressions: kinokoinu

good lord look at this thang. it is so Shaped

so imo this is a show that is going to live or die by how cute this lil guy is or isn't, and it's pretty adorable so far but......

holy shit the first episode was so depressing that for me it was almost a drag to watch. it definitely wasn't bad! it reminded me a bit of hizaue at times, which is one of my favorites of the ctdct (cute thing doing cute things) genre, so i didn't not like it

i guess for me personally i expect cute and funny from shows of this genre, and the humor isn't quite there yet. that's not to say it has to be funny all the time, or that it can't be earnest and emotionally raw as well. i'm just hoping the next episodes will have this funny-looking little guy being a little, well, funny too (which based on the synopsis it does seem like that will happen!)

anyway it was cute but more melancholy than i expected. not a bad thing, just not a thing i was prepared for. might take another week or two to fully solidify my feelings about this one

[genderlessjacky]

yayy finally im finally done!!! I hope we are the same timezone and I didn't accidentally submit this late 😭

Holmes!! The sharpshooting Rodger with a littleee but of trust issues and I adore him . He is the kind of dad to have Pavlov's dogs himself to say "language" whenever anyone is swearing an probably owns a swear jar. But don't worry, he loves both his children equally. He may not be able to keep up with a few of the smarter Rodgers in terms of intellect but he can hold his own in a mission decently well and he's more streetsmart anyways (Holmes says in an attempt to comfort himself)

(also , Sherlock Holmes , Holmes , get it??? I'm so funny I know)

Big brother of the year award goes too... SOMEONE ELSE because it's certainly not Shrimpo "DONT KICK IN YOUR 8 YEAR OLD BABY SISTERS TEETH" Rodger . He pretends to not care and at times he really doesn't. It's giving Dipper pines meets bakugo (which I'm not sure if that's accurate because I have only seen like , 2 seasons of MHA) meets knuckles and with a sprinkle of abandonment issues . It took him a decently long time to warm up to his adoptive family but it was all worth it (sort of)

(when I tell you I really did try my best to come up with an Augmented Ability for him 😭 I hope this isn't too OP...)

Edit : nvm , Shrimpo uses 80% of his energy instead and that it effects a whole area of twisteds around him , like it effects any twisteds who hear it even if he direct it at them , and that it can be mixed , like a twisted brightney and Gigi can run away while the rest start CHASING him

The baby of the family!! The one who Shrimpo taught how to swear!! Toodles!! She occasionally gets an existential crisis because of her ability but it's finee. She warmed up the fastest to people, this social little scumbag is the sole reason why her brother is NOT fully social inept

Edit: SO sorry that I'm changing my mind this much but I'd like to add like , she can just duplicate only parts of herself for way less energy, like she can duplicate just an arm as a emergency weapon for 7% energy and only her head to use as a projectile weapon for 9% energy ectect and ofc they will still hurt but yes she can duplicate multiple

(Another idea of an Augmented Ability I have to her is basically beginners luck in a larger scale , she can boost a random 'stat' of her fellow toons in a certain radius by 20% and it reduces her own energy by 20% but I went for this one instead but if you think the duplicate thing is too overpowered, feel free to use this :))

more beneath the cut <3 (pls read I spent SO much time on these doodles)

An idea I have for their background:

If it matches the lore , I'd say they joined an operation that wasnt gardenview, a different operation that was far more weaker and far away from said Gardenview , Holmes and Toodles and a couple of others were the sole survivors of the weaker operation after they got overwhelmed by a large Wave of twisteds and Shrimpo got kicked out of his own survivors group for being too aggressive and nearly leading them to their own death . After Toodles and Holmes wandered for about 3 months they met Shrimpo and the journey begins there . They reach Gardenview in about, I'd say two - two and a half years

Please ignore that fact that it's disgustingly obvious that I have practically never done digital art before 😞🙏

Pov: a single father of two rediscovers what coffee is (don't read the text too closely 😞, I mostly copy pasted a theory about ichor that I really liked and added a bit of details myself , I know I'm lazy I'm sorry)(also ignore that Cosmo said E-1, I rrly want him and his kids to be in D-1 🙏)

I have a mini comic I'm in the middle of drawing of how Shrimpo and Toots would work together in an actual mission and I'll reblog said comic on this post after I finish it and hope and pray you actually see it 😢

Fun facts about them (I'll probably add more when it's not , midnight)

In terms of fighting, I'd say Shrimpo is definitely melee and short ranged, if I decide to give him weapons it will definitely be very Vi from arcane coded

Rodger is defo long ranged sharp shooter, a sniper sort of guy , if he had to fight up close he could hold his own but he would mostly rely on his robot arm

Toodles is more agile think, very sonic or Spiderman esk , jumping around and dodging/ luring the twisteds

Rodger also has phantom pain sometimes and doesn't really know what it is (yet) so sometimes his arms just starts hurting a lot and he's like "oh, I guess that happens now" and doesn't tell anyone

Rodger got lost his arm during the incident where his old operation got destroyed

Toodles and Shrimpo have matching bite marks from eachother, it's how they differentiate eachother from a crowd

They are very "Dad said I can come!!" "YOU ARE NOT COMING ON MY DATE-" coded

honestly, I can Shrimpo tagging along with toodles and her new friends in Gardenview until he finds his own group

Rodger used to spend a lot his time researching ichor obsessively because he lost a lot of loved ones during the fall of his old operation (like a lot of the Rodgers and probably also A1 Rodger) but slowed down a LOT a while after he took in Shrimpo

Rodger didnt know how to take care of two kids at first , it wasnt until Shrimpo almost died because of his own recklessness that he decided "hey I already lost a lot of people, I need to take care of the ones I have" and stepped up , he isn't perfect but he tries

I'd like to think Rodger gets a lot of "you took in...a SHRIMPO????" From the group of people he hangs out with

Also their 'last name' is Rodger , like Toodles Rodger and Shrimpo Rodger , but he only uses when they are in REAL trouble like "SHRIMPO RODGER GO TO YOUR ROOM" energy

Also if it matches the lore , I also like to think , to save up energy and ichor , the people running Gardenview saw them come in , clinging onto eachother and went "huh... they seem close" and put Toodles and Shrimpo in the same room with a bunkbed to preserve energy

Small little Event!

Hey hey, hope you’re all having a great holiday.

This little event will be running until 1.6.2025.

Im sure some of you have noticed team D and E have never been mentioned- and that’s because I’ve been waiting to host this event!

I’m choosing 11- yes 11 toons that YOU GUYS MAKE to add to Operation Ichor!

Of course, other toon submissions will show up as background characters within the comic.

Q1: How does the character sheet look?

Something like this, it being colored is optional. But I mainly just need design, personality, and ability on your sheet. Keep in mind you’re mostly choosing from the 20 in game characters (No, spoiler characters aren’t accepted, only ones in game!) and adding accessories on them.

You can make a whole team if you want too, just please keep it as one reblog if you can.

Q2: Are OC Toons allowed?

Yes, but please keep in mind they have a lower chance of being chosen just because dealing with different abilities and designs gets complicated (as if the 20 toons Dandy’s world has isn’t already enough)

Here’s the sheet for those who want to join.

Please use (#opich event) and/or just reblog this post with your submission

Disclaimer:

Any toon submitted will STILL BELONG TO THE OWNER, I have no intentions of stealing your amazing creations.

Do note; with the grim nature of this story, toons die a lot and yours might as well, if you don’t want that to happen- don’t submit.

And don’t be discouraged by your art, I love all your works and you’re all super talented :).

[chemzee]

So uh. MelDan ammirite? This (kinda) blew up on Insta and other socmed I use so ig I'mma upload this here too lol

It started as a crackship (and it's still is, I kinda like to jokingly them imagine them pretending to like each other but actually wanting to skin each other alive, a little ooc for both of them, but it's mostly just for fun) but rn I'm exploring the potential ""relationship"" through a more angsty lense.

No text version below

[littlest-bugz]

Relapsing is a part of healing

[one systems perspective on relapsing during Resolution/late stage DID recovery.]

This post has been cooking in my drafts for a while, but since I'm back in a headspace where I would consider myself back in Resolution, I'm comfortable talking about this. I'm airing out my dirty laundry quite a bit in this post, but the reason I'm making this post is because of the fact I don't see many late stage recovery systems talk about relapsing back into dissociation and other CDD symptoms. I'm here to say it's totally okay and a part of healing. I don't know who needs to hear that, but I definitely did. I didn't hear it until i was in therapy.

A couple of months ago [when I was initially writing this post], I went through a series of traumatic events, including little over 3 weeks of reoccurring flashbacks due to a re-traumatizing situation. I have lovingly dubbed it 'the three weeks of hell'. There was more than just that, including 2 explosive breakdowns, where I just couldn't handle all the input I was getting with what all was going on. I was a whole wreck for a moment there, that's for sure. THANKFULLY, we only split off a one new alter after everything, which is healing progress, but it meant an increase in blackout amnesia in our day to day life, let alone the dissociation it was causing the system as a whole, nearly putting us back at step one of recovery.

The moment I noticed the blackout amnesia and increase in DID symptoms, I started thinking I had ruined any progress I could've possibly made. It felt like I had taken ten steps forward and then tumbled down the stairs. I never got to process the trauma as it just began to pile on, and eventually I popped in probably the worst explosive breakdown I've EVER had- my fight or flight kicked in and for gods know what reason, my brain chose fight. But that breakdown had solidified that 'fuck, I'm getting worse again' mentality I had going on. Everyone I knew seemed to 'keep it together' during rough times, so why couldn't I?

So that brought me to this post.

I wondered why I don't see talk of relapse in Late Stage Recovery spaces, let alone general CDD spaces. I figure, in my mind, that it's because it just isn't talked about. At least, not frequently. In the space I have curated for myself, I see a lot of fellow late stage recovery systems and finally fused systems, but everyone seems to not have relapsed at any point. Granted, this is the internet, and people show what they want others to see, but I felt ashamed for a good while that I had relapsed back into the amnesiac aspects of my dissociation. I didn't feel like I could call the stage of healing I am in 'late stage recovery'. But that's just. not true. I still am. My healing is ongoing, and I was able to resolve it.

In recovery for many disorders, relapses are, inherently, a part of the process of healing. Symptoms resurfacing is, to some extent, part of healing. Everyone is bound to have slip ups and rough times, and if your go to coping mechanism is dissociation [in CDDs cases], it's possible that you might slip back into those maladaptive mechanisms due to the stress of life happenings, but that's okay. What is needed is to learn the proper coping skills to deal with that stress, but it can be extremely hard to unlearn maladaptive coping skills and make turning towards healthy ones a default. Relapsing gives you the time to reinforce and build up what skills you do have.

When the three weeks of hell was occurring, I didn't exactly have the coping skills necessary to keep on with life, and any I did have, they were not 'automatic' enough. On top of that, my therapist was conveniently out of office for those three weeks. It did give me the time to make my skills stronger. Of course, I felt terrible about it but Relapsing is okay. As long as you learn how to deal with the stress and trauma, that's what matters. I'm still learning how to properly cope with everything that happened during those weeks, to be blunt, but I have gained a grasp on Resolution pretty quickly afterwards. I don't think it would've been possible to recover so easily had I not been in late stage recovery, and like I said before, it helped reinforce my coping skill box, making them stronger and much easier to recall. I definitely would say that relapsing was a part of my healing. Didn't feel good, but it became a huge factor in how we cope day to day.

TLDR; Relapsing during Resolution [Functional Multiplicity/Final fusion] is a part of recovery itself.

[danwhobrowses]

Okay I've had a sleep, I've seen a lot of what the fandom has to say and I'm gonna just talk about my thoughts on the episode 118 stuff in more detail too.

Spoilers under the cut and it's a little bit (5 paras and a tl/dr at the bottom) long

I have never liked the Release Predathos option, but it had been very apparent - since probably as far back as the vorbing - that Matt had been pushing the narrative towards that option whether Bells Hells wanted it or not. The lack of alternatives provided meant that yes, the Hells had little choice but to deal with Predathos themselves; Ludinus was likely not dead, they were low on strength and resources even after a short rest to fight another full-strength Ludinus, and even if they caved in the core and killed Ludinus again someone else would've tried to come and release Predathos. On that I can't really fault the cast for playing ball with the DM and I can't say what the characters are doing is out of character or with bad intentions, it simply annoys me how close we were to entertaining the idea that should've been discussed earlier of putting Predathos somewhere nobody can get to. Objectively it was still a terrible idea, one that even in delivery could've been better prepared with Imogen not in range of the two saving throw buffs or having any Inspiration as she took on Predathos knowing from previous experience that a wisdom save is likely to be involved. But again, the alternatives offered up to them are sparse, nothing else in the narrative had offered a clear solution and if something did suddenly come up it would've felt too much like a deus ex machina. The Hells are not doing this because they want to do Ludinus' plan, but doing so is by proxy doing Ludinus' plan, and thus the problem as of current lies in the Plot.

Right now, they're at a very high risk of the plot not justifying a story, because why did we have this campaign if the outcome is gonna be the same? If the plan is to reset Exandria why didn't we have C3 in the post-reset era and trickle in what happened as lore? Bells Hells have often lacked agency when it came to the Predathos portions of the campaign, but even when they took agency to try and be more than what they were made to be they found themselves punished or being withheld the catharsis they needed to grow. Regardless, the plot is currently failing the characters, and thus the characters are failing the audience - to the point where some in the fandom now want them all to die or for Braius to betray them all - because we the audience don't see the appeal of the direction.

There is a caveat though: it's not yet over. We expect that there will be a fight between the Hells and Predathos!Imogen (we need a name for that) and possibly Ludinus swooping in with the harness to try and steal a victory, but that does mean that the theatre of imagination can come into play in dealing with Predathos itself. There is of course uncertainty whether Predathos can die, since Vecna at 0hp would've just discorporated them for a bit, but there are a lot more options for the Hells to entertain now than there was at 118, including having to kill the vessel - be it Imogen or transferring it to another like Ludinus or Liliana, being able to expel Predathos from Imogen and entrapping/banishing/killing it with the knowledge that yeah that was a terrible idea, or somehow having Imogen suppress it and remain control over herself (and hope that the same rule doesn't apply to her as it does with Delilah being free when Laudna dies), which all can involve exciting twists and turns and creative solutions befitting of a conclusion. In that hope is the opening for a more exciting and satisfying end, and while the plot has had rightful criticisms a good ending can make up for them just as much as a bad ending can ruin a good plot.

So in short; I don't like that Imogen did that, but I know why she did it. And why she did it is more the plot's fault because we never saw it as a good idea, just the only decision that was pushed to be made. There's hope though, and all is not lost, but the plot as well as the characters are gonna have to earn it.

[milfbrainrot]

.

I feel like in the past the mix of this site being used for both activism and fandom helped contribute to a lot of unhinged politicized fandom discourse where yeah ofc there's a political tie to media but ppl used it as... a form of activism where it was given disproportionate importance compared to other activism discussions? Whereas now we're swinging to the opposite site of How Dare You Care About Meaningless TV Shows When Politics.

Like... we can have a mix of realizing there's more important stuff to focus on than shipping discourse in the world at large without also minimizing the insane doxxing and death threats behavior going on in fandom that people in fandom have to take into consideration to be able to do their hobby, esp given how those attitudes stem from irl political climates at times in ways that are telling to study. Hobbies are kinda how we prevent activism burnout also. Crazey how that works.

[agirlinthegalaxy]

It's been rolling around in my brain the last few days for some reason, but I still hate the family backstory reveals for Sophie and Eliot. I've seen some of the meta for it, but quite frankly, it still makes no sense. If it had been something actually thought of and intentional in the original, I think it could have been so fascinating. I mean, Sophie's willing abandonment of Astrid to contrast with Nate's loss of Sam or Eliot's adoption in contrast with Hardison's and Parker's? Could have been excellent! But they came out of nowhere in Redemption and don't work with these characters.

Sophie was still actively using the fucking alias that she met Astrid under! She met with someone from her past on the show! Like. Quite frankly, that one is unequivocally bullshit that they made up and threw in and pretended could fit with the established canon. (And I'm sorry, but the idea of Sophie abandoning Astrid and never telling Nate about her just... So much of Nate's trauma was rooted in the loss of Sam, and I think that introducing this element after he's gone and unable to respond to it taints Sophie and Nate's relationship in a way bc I'm not exactly sure how Nate would've responded to learning about this but I think that it's something he'd have needed to know. I don't know how to fully express my thoughts on that but yeah.)

As for Eliot, I don't like the adoption aspect literally at all. The way that he would interact with his family and the memory of his family would be different, and I think that it's flat out ridiculous to think that he'd have never mentioned it to the team in the original show, especially when dealing with the kid cases. (I also dislike the biracial adoption as its own element because if Eliot was actually raised by Black parents in the... idk what 80s/90s? That just. doesn't feel congruent with how they write Eliot interacting with PoC, not necessarily in a bad way, but babe, he's written like a white southern man raised in a specific kind of culture that does not jell with that. It also makes Eliot look... really bad that he was apparently raised with the knowledge of how fucked up the military was and his parents' history and made the choices that he did.) Like the show may not have explicitly stated it but the implication of that relationship was vastly fucking different throughout the original show.

Just. These were not backstories that were congruent with their depiction and characters in the original show, and they're also just moves that I don't particularly like or find interesting directions for those characters. There's also something to be said about how it was apparently unacceptable for a woman to not have kids or someone not reconciling with their biological family when that was something that the original show handled a lot better. Out of all the directions to take Sophie and Eliot's stories, that's just not really one that I think was a good idea.

[phosphorus-noodles]

the more i think about it the more i think au joelious might be aromantic

[astro-b-o-y-d]

It always sucks when you like,,,,,really don't like a lot of the ships that people around you seem to enjoy. Because it's like sure, you can just slap the ship name into your blocked tags and live your life while they live theirs, but also everyone else is having fun over there without you and you're just like 'Man, I wish I could join the fun, too.'

[mad-hunts]

🔪 @clawsextended selina sure does have bad luck but god knows she gets in enough shit herself.

whenever it came down to it, barton was willing to do a lot of things to get out of being imprisoned, especially in a place like arkham. and the dead body that he was now standing over was more than adequate evidence of that. but to explain how he got into a situation where he had to disguise himself as a postman to kill the owner of a bakery, we'll have to rewind to about two weeks earlier. spectacularly enough... or perhaps not, considering barton was quite good at escaping the police, he had been able to get him and his family out of their usual home before they had opted to bust into the place. and he learned that the reason the GCPD did that was because someone had seen him committing a murder through sheer chance.

which, of course, they wanted to report to the pigs — and because barton had connections within the police department... he heard about this rather quickly. much to his surprise, it was the neighbor right across the street from the woman he'd killed (who was named odessa), whom was actually hiding out in her apartment while he did so in a wardrobe. and this person happened to be another woman named leona cruz; whom was over when he'd killed odessa. leona was a bakery owner, barton learned, and lived on the second floor of it... which was actually far more useful information to him than it might seem at first glance. because now barton could formulate a plan to get rid of her that wouldn't attract suspicion before she was able to testify against him.

and now... with that plan finished and us in the future, what better way was there to do that than to pretend he was delivering goods to leona's bakery? all it took was barton incapacitating the original driver and him putting on a disguise to enter her bakery without forcing himself in. then, when leona's back was turned after she climbed high up on a ladder in order to move some things to put her new package up on the shelf, barton pushed her to the ground head-first. which was a good way of doing it because it absolutely could look like it was an accident with some little adjustments. a small, but equally as sadistic smile spread across his lips as he mussed up his hair to remove some of the spray coloring on it. he crouched down to leona's body to move it afterwards before he heard the sound of the bell on the door chiming.

though this was a late night delivery, so who on earth could that be? it couldn't possibly be a customer. barton stood up quickly and looked at the person in question, finding that they strangely looked a little familiar. he just couldn't think of selina's name as his eyes flitted from leona, to the other, and barton simply whipped out the gun he was carrying against his back. pointing the muzzle at her heart was easy as his free hand rose up to his mouth while he feigned a facial expression that said 'yikes.' ❝ ahh, it seems i can't ever get a moment alone whenever i kill someone. oh well — i bet you're regretting coming in here right about now, aren't you? especially since it's after hours and no one else is round. ❞

barton stretched out his free hand to the side to emphasize his point before saying this with an condescending laugh, ❝ don't worry, i'll make it quick. but of course... i won't be able to leave your body here with your friends. i'm sure you understand, right? it is supposed to look like an accident. ❞

[mrfoox]

God, I am such a... Motherly type of person and I don't even try to be it just... I catch myself in the act and I'm like ah... Oh... Hmm

Yes, I basically told Andreas my fwb to come lay on my chest and tell me about his work (vent) and he went on and on as I stroked his hair and nodded along

[muu-kun]

What Makes Your Muses Body Unique?

Simple premise. Give 5 (or more) headcanons about your muses' body. Hands, eyes, feet, birthmarks, tricks--anything! Tagged by: @tximidity

Features spanning across the ages: Past (bottom icon) and Present (top icon)

Heart shaped face seen in the detailing and relationship between the roundness of his face around his eyes and the angles of cheeks until they meet to form a pointed chin.

I've discussed it before, but I'm mentioning once more (as well as including an image) the fact he has what is known as clinodactyly. It is isolated to three fingers on each hand-- pinky, index, and ring-- with each one varying in severity from one another. All of which in that exact order. These fingers of his are also all double jointed. The bottom knuckles, however, in ALL of his fingers are bulbous in shape. They curvatures of them fit perfectly amongst each other like a puzzle. The same cannot be said about the top knuckles, though, as gaps surround his middle fingers on each sides.

He has a silly little scar at a place very few can see. One of which acquired from an injury sustained as a teenager as a result of doing something he had ought to not be up to in the first place. In an attempt to climb over a metal fence into an area he'd otherwise not been permitted into, and unsupervised at that, he managed to get comically stuck in his hurdle over it by way of his shorts getting caught onto a sticking out piece of metal. Rather than proceed with caution, he adamantly lunged downwards with all of his effort, slicing through his attire and that of the top of his gluteal cleft to the inches just above it. It isn't entirely noticeable unless one is truly looking in that area, and yet in knowing of it the male can't quite help himself from finding joy in its existence. Especially when considering the fact it acts as his nearly invisible tail each time he excitedly sways his hips as though he's wagging it via an energetic stim.

Another feature he finds to be a delight about himself is the fact he has an outie belly button. He's never wished to cosmetically change it in anyway as it has never caused him any pain or problems. He'll never be able to get a piercing there, no, but that's okay on account it looks cute as a button on its own already. It also rests perfectly within his softened stomach. It is where his fat cells deposit themselves most prominently, and has a tendency to consistently bloat forward due to a combination of stored negativity and a hormone imbalance. Muu always has, and always will, calls it his baby fat.

Speaking of body fat, Muu is otherwise rather lacking in that department as he is generally petite across the majority of his physique. Some of which is contributed to an active lifestyle dictated by consistently walking his dog, going on foot or by bicycle to places close enough to not require his vehicle, or public transport even, routine pacing in instances in which he's attempting to physically regulate out an intense emotion, a whole food diet centered on his entirely vegan lifestyle, and plenty, PLENTY of sleep. Muu's actively in bed by no later than 10pm an any given evening as he for one doesn't like to exist in the dark any longer than he has to, and also because he just is very invested in listening to his body for queues it needs an abundance of rest. Consider yourself lucky if you ever invite him to something taking place after eight pm, because by then he'd ideally like to already he in his jammies with the intention of unwinding and settling down for slumber. His slim frame is also a contribution of an underlying eating disorder centered on withholding food from himself whenever he's under the impression that he ought to be punished for his perceived failures of the day; however, he's growing more inclined to forget such a habit in favor of snacking on vitamin rich treats as hunger and hurt go more together than the version of himself who started up the habit in the first place knew about. He's also taking on the role of gentle parenting himself, which does sometimes mean sneaking himself vegan cookies to boost positivity while negative voice inside his head is distracted. All in all, he weighs an astounding 115lbs / 52kg. Already on the thin side, where one can notice it the most is in his teeny, tiny ankles. Them and his wrists are minute in their circumferences, which isn't entirely of any surprise as both his hands and feet are small for even a man of his stature. Fun fact: both his shoe size and his ring size are that of a size seven in traditional American sizing.

[he-calls-me-kitten]

Dirty Dozen (ft. +2)

GN! MC x Pervert! OM Characters

(Cause y'all seemed to love the first one omg. Also TW: I made everyone wayy more sleazy and nasty than before so read at your own risk. MInors DNI)

Pervert! Mammon who likes to ask you for something specifically when your hands are full. "MC, lend me a few Grimm could ya?" He asks when you're in the middle of cooking.

"My hands are covered in cake batter, just take some from my back pocket."

"Are you sure it's there? Let me check both pockets." He isn't so much searching for coins as much as he's feeling and practically groping your ass. Seriously you start to wonder how it's taking him 20 minutes to find something that's right there.

Pervert! Solomon who keeps his room colder than usual when you come over for magic lessons.

"Is it too cold for you MC? I apologise, I kept it this way because some of the potions have bad reactions to heat but if you'd like-"

"I'm absolutely fine, Solomon. You worry about me too much." You smile at him reassuringly, not noticing how his eyes are so eagerly trained at your nipples perking up through your thin t-shirt.

Boner Bonus points if you allow him to hug you for some warmth. His fingers will definitely brush against your chest more than once.

Pervert! Beel who seems to make a mess whenever he's trying to help you in the kitchen. "I'm so sorry, MC. I didn't mean to spill it on your hands!"

"It's okay Beel, it's just some cream and syrup. I can just wash it off right away."

"But it's such a waste. Please allow me." He starts to thoroughly lick your fingers and you shake your head and let him knowing his fixations on food.

But he can't help it - you taste so good. He secretly wonders what you might taste like down there, drooling at the thought.

Pervert! Levi who has taken to sitting on pillows Japanese style while gaming and offers you the same. Sure enough you don't even suspect an ulterior motive.

"Did you get inspired by some human world anime again? Careful though - your legs and butt will start to cramp after a while."

"MC you're too gracious! Caring so much for an otaku like me!"

After you leave, he promptly takes the pillow you were sitting on and puts it in his bathtub. He's going to sleep on it ofc. Your scent on it helps him jerk off better.

Pervert! Belphie who now asks you to rub his belly till he falls asleep. "What's so funny?" He asks as you giggle at his request.

"Since when do you need help falling asleep?"

"I care about the quality of my sleep. And I sleep better this way."

Fortunately you believe him and don't suspect that it's because it's the closest he can get you to fondling his dick. He has such a difficult time holding in his moans and hard ons, every time your hands go even a bit lower than usual.

Pervert! Barbatos who got into sewing clothes as a hobby and specifically likes making them for you now. But you never understand why he needs to take same measurements over and over again.

"Oh? This is a different kind of design, MC. So the measurements will vary from before."

"Always making new things aren't you? You never fail to suprise Barbatos." You smile at him admiring.

The tightening of the tape around your chest and crotch are subtle. He can hardly keep it together when you praise him after all. But he has to if he wants to skim his hands over your body like this again.

Pervert! Diavolo who takes you on such long drives that you always doze off in the front seat, waking up apologetic for missing so much of the journey.

"Hahaha, it's okay, MC. We've been on this same road lots of times. I assure you, you didn't miss anything. And I like that you feel safe to sleep in my presence."

"But still, I'm so sorry, it feels disrespectful..." You apologize, not even knowing how hard he is in his pants right now.

Afterall, he can keep squeezing your beautiful thighs, maybe let his hands wander between them and imagine himself fucking you in the back seat as much as he wants, when you're asleep.

Pervert! Simeon who will have noone except you as his muse for art classes. And the themes just keep getting more erotic each time.

"Are you sure you're okay with this, MC? You don't have to do it if you're not comfortable-"

"Nonsense, Simeon. I feel super comfortable if it's you. You're a true artist after all." You say as you lay on his bed wrapped up only in bedsheets, exposing your entire back and legs.

If only you knew, this angel has thoughts dirtier than most demons. How he's practically fucking you with his eyes. How he's definitely going to jerk off into those bedsheets, moaning your name.

Pervert! Satan who loves teaching you things - standing right behind you, guiding your hands to make latte-art, or trying a new style of painting.

"That's it, nice and slow. Look how much you've improved, MC." He beams at the cute kitty in the coffee cup.

"All thanks to you, Satan. I can't wait to learn more from you." You smile at him earnestly.

He almost feels guilty for tricking you this way, but the way your hands feel in his, and your ass feels against his groin is so addicting. One of these days, he wishes could teach you to be on all fours and take his length in your pretty little mouth.

Pervert! Asmo who loves keeping your eyes on him and noone else. From elaborate performances to petty staring contests, he cannot have enough of your gaze.

"Oh you're turning red in the face, Asmo. Did I manage to flutter the heart of the Avatar of Lust?" You lean forward smiling.

"You're my only weakness after all, MC. It's your fault for making me this way." He almost moans.

You laugh and mock apologize at his antics but you don't know he's been grinding like an animal on his seat, and creamed his pants under your innocent gaze. Your undivided attention just turns him on so much.

Pervert! Lucifer who makes his desires too obvious sometimes. He'll regret it in the morning and take you to dinner to apologize but not until he's already done something dirty.

"Lucifer, it's 2 am. You need to throw away that coffee and sleep." You're practically dragging him to bed.

"Fine. I'll go sleep if you'll stay in my room tonight." He says knowing you'll comply. You care too much for your own good. He's not even going to let you sleep on the couch, no you have to stay wrapped up in his arms.

You might wake upto him groaning your name in his sleep and you might mistake it for a nightmare - not knowing how he's balls deep inside you in his dreams.

Pervert! Thirteen who likes how excited you get over her newest inventions and keeps making more things to call you over.

"And this little baby and can throw pie at people's faces without ever missing. Guaranteed headshot." She smiles proud.

"This would be so useful in a cafeteria food fight and then get banned right after its glory. But I so wanna use it!" You whine.

She loves how much you appreciate her inventions. She is secretly working on a 'pleasure' device scented like her to give you - she hopes you'll like it just as much.

Pervert! Mephisto who is actually taken aback by your duality. You're such a mischievous little imp usually but turn so well-mannered in front of Diavolo's esteemed guests.

"So even you can be prim and proper sometimes? If only you could maintain this on the daily." He huffs.

You laugh and mock-bow in front of him. "Of course, anything for you my dearest lord. Would you like to dance with this proper human while you can?"

He blushes at the sudden offer. Why you little- how dare you tempt him like this. You can't complain about him gripping you somewhere improper or too tight. You deserve this for your attitude.

Pervert! Raphael who is still navigating new feelings of lust he's never felt before he met you. Why his heart skips every time you fall asleep on his shoulder or why he felt a sudden warmth at the pit of his stomach feeling you breath so softly into his neck.

"Thank you for helping me tidy the classroom, MC. I didn't even know where the cleaning supplies were."

"That's alright. It's more fun with two people anyway and wait Raphael there's a bucket over the-" The fresh bucket of water already spilled splashing all over both of you.

You immediately fetched a towel to help him dry up but he couldn't stop staring at you instead. With the uniform sticking to your body like and the water glistening on your exposed skin - why was he so enthralled? Why does he feel a strange pulsing between his legs as you hover over him?