#i'm still thinking about him and 12. i don't have time for the luxury of outrage versus let it all seep into me like an open wound

[zimszim]

the scene where the doctor tells kate that he doesn't have kids yet is such a crazy ass thing to say just randomly but i love how when kate tells him that she never knew he had a granddaughter based off of the stories her father told her as a child, he tells her "I was a different Doctor back then, Kate. Great enigma. Still can't shake it off. I'm trying." which is so heartbreaking and it crushes me because it's already so apparent how badly he wants to change from this closed off, holds everything in his heart and then one day he'll die type of person. he wants to be better than that. for himself, for his friends. and he fails sometimes too, he gets closed off, like in rogue, he just tries to move on but ruby doesn't let him. but even that, he doesn't hug her fully, with all of his grief and fear. he's still holding back, but he's trying. and it hurts him. he's trying to be open and truthful and with that openness i feel like he's realizing just how painful life is without all those fortified walls up, how deeply grief can seep into him, but inversely, how fierce he can love and hate and fear and hope!!! everything is brighter and burns hotter when those barricades are down and its for the best and worst

[apomaro-mellow]

Every Baby Needs a Daddy 12

Part 11

@spectrum-spectre before you say anything, there's no smut in this one so go to sleep and read it at a more reasonable hour

In Eddie's fantasy world, he took off in a plane with Steve, escorted him back to Indiana, dropped him off at the door of the home he'd be staying at, giving him a very thorough scenting before letting him go.

But Eddie had work to take care of and Steve said he would be fine. And Eddie had gotten the hang of figuring out when Steve meant what he said. It wasn't hard. Whenever he wanted to be spoiled, he put that bratty lilt to his voice. They parted ways, Eddie having rubbed himself all over Steve before they exited the car, then again before getting to the check out counter.

Eddie was avoiding notice by wearing his hair in a braided bun and big sunglasses. He insisted on getting Steve a first class ticket. It was the only way to keep too many people from rubbing against him and thus making his scent fade sooner.

"Don't miss me too much", Eddie teased, looking over the rim of his shades.

Steve wrapped his arms around his neck. "I already do, Daddy", he whispered. He kissed him and then murmured against his lips. "Can't stop thinking about it. In less than ten days..."

Eddie put his hands to Steve's waist. He couldn't wait either. They'd be reuniting for Steve's heat. But they weren't coming back together just for that. While Steve was pretty regular and was 99% it would come when he said it did, Eddie would have Steve on the first jet to Texas on January 1st.

Steve thoroughly enjoyed the luxury of first class and landed back home with less than half the stress of a normal plane flight. Eddie had been a little zealous in spending on him sometimes, and it reflected in how much money he sent to Steve so that he could get a ride at the airport. Steve had specifically told him that Lucas could have picked him up and then he'd be with family for the rest of the time.

Eddie must've heard something different because when Steve checked his venmo, he was several hundred dollars richer. When Lucas picked him up, he decided that money could be well spent doing some last minute shopping.

"You know, I'm actually kind of relieved", Lucas said as they packed the last of the stuff into his trunk.

"Why?", Steve asked.

"I thought when you started being a sugar baby and junk you'd turn into a different person. But you're still Steve."

Steve smiled. "Didn't go through a name change last I checked."

"You know what I mean. You were still cursing out the ref at the game back in DC. And you got Robin a mug with a weird picture, not like a diamond encrusted dog bowl or something."

"She's gonna love the mug more than that. And the ref had his blinders on for the whole first half."

Steve didn't realize how relieved he was to hear that though, that he had retained the real parts of himself even though he felt completely changed by Eddie. Would he start to change in time? How long would it take? His reverie was broken when Lucas pulled into the driveway of his home.

"Okay, so Dustin told my parents you were seeing someone and Mike told them it was someone famous but they don't know it's Eddie Munson."

Steve felt his stomach drop. "Do they know that I'm?"

Lucas shook his head. "You get to tell them that."

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me", Steve groaned.

The last thing he wanted to tell the people who helped him through the final years of high school and the first couple of college was that he was getting dicked down by a celebrity and was falling for him too. The Sinclairs were more like his parents than his actual mom and dad.

They didn't hold back either, bringing it up the moment he entered and they got their hugs.

"Dustin told us you're seeing someone?", Mrs. Sinclair said.

Steve snuck an ear twist as Dustin walked by with a grin, one that the Sinclairs definitely noticed but let him get away with. He had to be honest not just because of how important they were, but because they'd find out everything sooner or later. New traveled fast online and he was honestly surprised they didn't know more already.

"I met him one night at a bar. He covered my dinner when I was a little short", Steve said as his hands were kept busy helping with the food preparation.

"Sounds like a gentleman", Mr. Sinclair said.

Lucas and his friends were sitting in the living room, which Steve was thankful for. He knew they'd want to spill every last bean. He got away with giving them minimal info: Eddie's first name, the fact he was a musician, an alpha, and that they'd been on a few dates.

That night, he cornered Dustin and Mike and made them swear to keep their mouths shut about anything else.

"Lucas got basketball tickets. We should get something to", Mike said.

"How's about you don't get a tanned hide?", Steve offered, eyes hard.

Christmas went as usual, Steve spent the day of and day after in the Sinclair home, then returned to his own apartment where Robin was already waiting to celebrate New Years. He didn't get two feet into the door before she was feeling his stomach.

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not-"

"But you could be. I know you and your cumslut tendencies. So I know you're not making him wrap it up."

"But I'm still taking my birth control", Steve said.

"You just know that if you get knocked up I'll have no choice but to move back in with you and help you raise this pup", Robin said.

"There is no pup. And I wouldn't make you do that."

"I would though. For you", she promised.

"I know Robs. That's why I'm not gonna let it happen. If I wanna have his baby, you'll get a six month notice before we conceive."

"Thank you for that."

They spent December 31st ordering take out from three different places and binging Empire. When it got to the time for real festivities to begin, they turned the tv to where Eddie said he was going to be performing.

"So that's your beau. He's not bad", Robin complimented. "How's the rest of the band?"

"They're great. I think you and Jeff would really get along. He's actually really into brass instruments too. And Gareth knows a bunch of nerd languages."

"You mean like Klingon and Elvish?"

"And apparently he's learning Atlantean."

Midnight came and Steve kissed her forehead and Robin kissed his cheek.

--------------------

The next day, he was packed and ready to hop on his flight. Robin dropped him off and hugged him tight enough to hold him over until the next time they met. His ticket was first class again and when he landed in Austin, he was already feeling a tingling under his skin. He missed his alpha. Need his scent, his touch, the rumble of his voice.

Because of this, while he loved the other CC boys, he was a little disappointed to see them awaiting his arrival and not Eddie.

"The Ed-man had to finish something in the studio last minute", Gareth explained as they led Steve to the car.

"Thanks for picking me up, guys", Steve certainly preferred them over a stranger from Uber.

Grant drove the way back, taking them to a mansion that had Steve's jaw dropping. He was no stranger to big houses, but he was used to them being simply for status. They'd been grand but sterile, devoid of any personality. The moment Steve stepped in, he could see that wasn't true for this place. He could pick out each of the resident's scents, could see each of their quirks as he was given a tour of the place.

They saved Eddie's room for last and he found out when Eddie barreled down the hallway to meet them at his door.

"They're really good pack", Steve said as Jeff, Grant, and Gareth left the two of them alone.

"I knew I could trust them with you." Then Eddie kissed him about six times. "For all the missed mistletoe." Then again. "For New Year's."

Steve laughed against his lips. "You gonna show me the bedroom anytime soon? I'd love to lie down, Daddy."

Eddie bit his lip, looking nervous all of a sudden as he slowly opened the door. Steve wanted to take in everything. After all, a bedroom could tell you a lot about a person. But his attention was immediately grabbed by the bed situation and what was sitting on the bench in front of it. There was a thin quilt turning it into a canopy bed, much like the den Eddie had made in their hotel room back in New York.

Steve recognized the pattern from what he'd heard before. Jeff's handiwork. And by the foot of the bed was a small bench where a collection of clothes sat. Steve went right to them and took a whiff of the first shirt. It was so undeniably Eddie, he would have thought his neck was pressed to his nose were he not still by the door.

Then he picked up a tank top and caught notes of lemon and ginger. "Are these...?"

"I tried to scent a lot of stuff before you got here, the boys helped out too. I hope that was okay?" His hands were stuck in his pockets and his back was tensed like he might run.

"It's more than okay", Steve reassured him.

"And the den? You like it? I can always change it if you don't. We've got tons of linens here, all that can be scented in a moment's notice and-"

"Eddie", Steve put a hand to his arm. "It's great. Now...", he held up one of the garments. "Help me nest?"

Eddie swallowed and nodded. He followed Steve's lead as they arranged everything on the bed for maximum comfort. Once Steve was satisfied, he sank down into it, smirking when he saw the way Eddie gingerly lied down next to him.

"Your first time doing a heat?", Steve asked.

"I've been around omegas in heat before. Just not as the uh, let's say star alpha", Eddie admitted.

Steve turned so his back was against Eddie's chest and pulled his arm over him. It took Eddie a moment, but he got comfortable and melted against his body. The exhaustion from the flight and being up for hours finally got to him and Steve closed his eyes.

When he opened them hours later, his body was warm and he felt a wetness between his legs.

Part 13

Tag Team CLOSED

@awkotaco24 @lingeringmirth @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @tartarusknight @velocitytimes2 @mrsjellymunson @trashcanniballecter @paintsplatteredandimperfect @a-little-unsteddie  @sllooney  @starman-jpg  @oxidantdreamboat  @xxbottlecapx   @newtstabber @tiny-enthusiast  @desidrarry-wolfstarshipper @y4r3luv @hello-fellow-nerds  @anonymousbandgirl @alyelf @potato-of-the-lord  @beckkthewreck  @croatoan-like-its-hot @pluto-pepsi @abstractnaturaldisaster @ellietheasexylibrarian @eyesofshinigami @dragonmama76 @greatwerewolfbeliever @chaosgremlinmunson @blackpanzy @millseyes-world @batxsignalsx @lilpomelito @goosesister @libraryofgage @aresthelostboy @royjaimie4eva @silenzioperso @she-collects-smut @lost-wondering-souls @eddielives1986 @marklee-blackmore

[jinisnuggets]

hii can i request an angst & fluff idol!jeongwoo? been deprived of trsr fics lately :< thank you so much!! 🫶

𝚄𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎

ᴾᵃⁱʳⁱⁿᵍˢ: ᶜʰⁱˡᵈʰᵒᵒᵈ ᵇᵉˢᵗ ᶠʳⁱᵉⁿᵈ! ᴶᵉᵒⁿᵍʷᵒᵒ ˣ ᴳⁿ! ᴿᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

ᴳᵉⁿʳᵉ: ᴬⁿᵍˢᵗʸ? ᶠˡᵘᶠᶠ

ᵂᵒʳᵈ ᶜᵒᵘⁿᵗ: ¹.⁷ᵏ

ᵂᵃʳⁿⁱⁿᵍˢ: ᵘⁿⁿᵒᵗⁱᶜᵉᵈ ˡᵒᵛᵉ, ᶜʳᵘˢʰ ᵒⁿ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵒⁿᵉ ᵉˡˢᵉ, ˢᵃᵈ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ˢᵗᵒʳʸ, ⁿᵒᵗ ᵃ ʰᵃᵖᵖʸ ᵉⁿᵈⁱⁿᵍ

ᴬ/ᴺ: ᴴⁱ ᵃⁿᵒⁿ! ᴵ'ᵐ ˢᵒʳʳʸ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗᵃᵏⁱⁿᵍ ᵃ ᵇⁱᵗ, ᴵ ˡⁱᵗᵉʳᵃˡˡʸ ʰᵃᵈ ⁿᵒ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᵗᵒ ʷʳⁱᵗᵉ, ᵐʸ ᶠᵃᵘˡᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ 🥹.ᴵ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᴵ ᵈⁱᵈⁿ'ᵗ ᶠᵒˡˡᵒʷ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖʳᵒᵐᵖᵗ ᵉˣᵃᶜᵗˡʸ ᵇᵘᵗ ᴵ ʰᵒᵖᵉ ᵗʰⁱˢ ⁱˢ ᵒᵏᵃʸ 🫶

ᴮᵃⁿⁿᵉʳ: @cafekitsune

“Isn't he the cutest?”

Jeongwoo turned to face your eyes which were glued to your phone, he couldn't help but roll his eyes and look right back to his own individual device.

“I don't know what you find so attractive about him.”

“Well he's cute, he's nice too so I don't really know what there isn't to like about him.”

“There's better people out there.”

“Well, to be fair you're never gonna find the best person in the world. That's just delusional, the best person is who is right for us and that's different for everyone.”

Your best friend finally made eye contact with you for the first time since you both ate, you turned off your phone and placed it face down on the table.

“What about you?” You asked, turning your full body to face him, who was busy drinking his coffee.

He responded with a confused pitch “What about me?”

“Do you like anyone? I always talk about him so I just wanted to know if you had anyone like that.”

He glanced up at the ceiling thinking for a solid moment, he glitched out of reality and completely lost himself in his own world. You… who had now become awkward, laughed a bit which seemed to bring him back to his senses.

“I do like someone, but I don't wanna tell you.”

“Aw come'on now, don't be mean.”

“I'm not, I just don't go around telling everyone like you do..”

“See? That just proves my point that you're mean.”

“There's a huge difference mind you.”

Rolling your eyes, maybe because you were now genuinely curious to know who he may have liked, or because of how he was being a jerk. Nevertheless you brought yourself to stand up and went to the kitchen.

“I should start prepping dinner, is regular pasta okay with you?”

“If you're gonna treat me to some food then might as well make me something luxurious.” he taunted, a slight smirk creeping onto his malicious face.

“You're not worth my time and energy.” You teased back in which a visible frown appeared on his face, turning back to the front of the couch and turning on the TV to put on some random channel so he could at least try to assist you in making dinner.

Although Jeongwoo and you had known each other for practically forever, you both had what could only be described as a love-hate relationship even though you both were technically each other's closest friend.

“Jeongwoo, pass me the ball.”

“No, come get it yourself.”

“You always tell me that, at least kick it a little.”

“Make me.”

“I'm gonna get run over if I go over there!”

It was your favorite excuse because he knew you were right, and he couldn't bear to watch you get hurt. It was always the best thing to say when he didn't want to pass you a simple ball.

“Thanks, Jeongie.”

He pretended to not like that name, you knew he did. Despite you cringing when you said it for the first few times you got used to it and it became a way of teasing him, and now it was really more of a habit.

Moving into college you both became roommates, really no one could complain even though you liked to pretend it was the most miserable thing that could happen to you at first… well sometimes still like to tease him that way.

“You've got to be kidding me.” you muttered

“You know you like being with me.” he responded, flopping onto the couch.

“I've already spent the last 12 years of my life with you- I don't need to add another 4.”

“Hey, at least it's better than getting a stranger, you've known me for 12 years and know I'm not a creep at least!”

“You're gonna throw parties every weekend!”

“I will not!”

“Ugh… I knew I should've transferred.”

“I'll only throw parties with your permission!”

“I don't like parties so if you're gonna throw one, tell me at least 3 days prior so I can make plans to go out.”

“Deal.”

“Oh! And you're cleaning up after yourself!”

“Yes I know… I'm not irresponsible..”

“That's debatable-”

“Hey! Let's just make some rules and boundaries list. You make one, I make one and then it's a fair game.”

You thought about the offer for a moment until you nodded and made your list of rules to follow, that really applied for both you and Jeongwoo because all of them were reasonable.

And that's mainly how you ended up where you were, roommates with whom you perceived as an all too familiar face.

————————————————————————

“Do you wanna go eat?” You heard Jeongwoo ask from the other side of the couch.

You glanced at him, both of you had been studying in the living room, although he was in a different major, you did sometimes study in the same room because you knew very well that there were always those phone tendencies.

So you both completed assignments together sometimes in order to limit your access to those tendencies… So upon hearing him you wondered if he somehow got ahold of his phone and dialed some random friend's number so they could go get takeout together and you somehow were so laser focused on your assignment that you hadn't noticed him pick up his phone.

Just as you were about to scold him and tell him to focus, you noticed his phone on the table where it had always been. Confused, you looked over to see his eyes fixed on his computer before looking up at you.

“Are you talking to me?” you asked

“Come’on, don't get delusional. You would never be so focused on studying in order for me to go unnoticed when I pick up my phone. Yes I'm talking to you!”

“My bad-” you muttered, rolling your eyes at the unnecessary offense that he just gave you, almost wanting to reject him because of that but decided to nod just because you were hungry. “But you're paying,” you added..

He nodded slowly as he slowly shut his computer “Yeah… it's my treat”

He was getting up slowly and only then did you start to wonder if he was okay, he seemed off, kind of upset and a little stressed, you set your computer to the side and picked up your phone, “you okay?”

“What do you mean?” He replied, making his way to pick up his wallet which was sitting on the TV table, he opened it to check how much money was in it.

“You seem a bit upset, or nervous. Are you okay?” You asked again, this time he just simply nodded without saying a word. It was abnormal behavior for him and that kinda made you more suspicious, but maybe he just wasn't in a chatty mood and the only one who would be worsening it would be you, so you decided to stay quiet.

It wasn't late at night, but it definitely wasn't early. There was a fast food lot nearby so there was no need to hop onto a taxi, there weren't many students in the area like you expected, so the walk was pretty peaceful.

Glancing up at the moon and then glancing back down in front of the non-busy city “It's a nice night isn't it?” you could hear Jeongwoo say beside you.

“It really is, it's nice and quiet, there's a light breeze, and the lights are gorgeous…”

“I agree..”

You both walked in silence for another few moments before you looked up at him and asked.

“Speaking of- why did you decide to invite me all of a sudden?”

Jeongwoo turned to you and made quick eye contact before breaking it and looking back to your surroundings. “I kinda figured we both needed a break. Nice and simple explanation.”

“Oh that's cool but I don't buy it- I think you wanna tell me something.” You teased.

“I have nothing to tell you- you're a boring person.” He replied with a frown appearing on his face, slight pout as he placed his hands in his pockets and brought his face down into the crook of his jacket in order to shield his nose from the cold… sure it was fall, but to be fall it was definitely one of the warmer nights today.

“Still cold sensitive huh?”

“A little”

“Guess you've really never changed” you said with a sigh, slightly smiling and remembering the old times with your childhood best friend.

“I haven't thrown any parties ever since we became roommates. That was 3 years ago.”

You froze in place, you never noticed how close it was to the last year in your curriculum, and you also didn't realize how Jeongwoo, the life of the party… never actually threw his own ever since he moved in with you.

“Crap, I never noticed that we only had one year left, I'm moving out of the dorms next year.”

“That's right.” He answered to your comment, you who was slightly petrified at the sudden realization hitting you.

“I don't know if I'm ready for that yet-”

“Why? Because you wanna see -”

“No! Because I won't be able to see you again!”

Jeongwoo stopped in his tracks, looking at you confused, “you're gonna miss me?” He asked in which you replied with an annoyed pitch “you jerk, how would I not miss you? I've been with you for practically 15 years by now and you expect me to just forget about you?”

“Well- I kinda did…”

“I’ll find you and I'll show up to your wedding when you least expect it.”

You noticed his mood drop a bit and you wondered if you had said the wrong thing, you immediately apologized but he brushed it off.

“I won't show up to yours just know that.”

You lifted an eyebrow, staring at him confused by his words.

“Why?”

“I can't watch the girl I love get married to someone else.”

“What…?” You questioned, words shaky and almost trailing off into the air.

“Don’t say that you didn't know-”

“I really didn't -”

“Of course you didn't. You were too busy loving someone else to notice me.”

“Jeongwoo - I'm sorry… I really didn't know.”

Before you realized you had arrived at the food area, you glanced at him who was already making eye contact with you.

“What would you like to eat?”

[bangchanbabygurl]

12: Sacrifice pt 11 { In The Eyes Of Love }

Genre: Dark Romance/Smut/Angsty/Thriller/Enemies to lovers

Warnings: Explicit language/mention of domestic violence/mention of violence/alcohol abuse/mention of death/stalker/mentions of blood/drug abuse/smut scenes/dark mature themes/triggering scenes/traumatic experiences

Word count: 2206

╚» Now playing —» It’s Been A Long Time by Doris Day

I exhaled softly as the driver holds the door open; I did a double take on the dress before walking inside the Choi villa. The villa was extraordinary; it was a pearl color with a very luxurious decor that swallows it. Making it stand out and scream rich, but elegance is essential. The heels echoing down the hall made goosebumps rise on my arms as the soft music and chattering got louder.

I halt briefly, letting my mind think this through; I let out a small sigh and shake my head as I turn around, wanting nothing more than to leave. “Y/N,” His voice, gosh, his voice made shivers run down my spine. Every time I hear it, my heart flutters a bit. I turn around to see Seungcheol in a black suit. His dark hair was slightly silk back, making him look more attractive, “Bailing on me already, sweetheart?” He asked with a smirk. I bite my lip, holding back a remark. I roll my eyes and walk over to him, “I was going to, but then I probable shouldn't leave you looking like a fool in front of your family.” I said. Seungcheol’s smirk disappears, “If you plan to act out—” I let out a small scoff. “As if, you asked for a favor, right? Then I’ll gladly do my part if you stop being an ass for the remaining night.” I said, Seungcheol rolled his eyes.

I look at the shadow getting closer to us, “Seungcheol, everyone is dying to meet Y/N; where is she-” A woman in her early twenties stops abruptly. “Wow, you look gorgeous, Seungcheol. Everyone is waiting.” The woman said, I smile. “Hi, I'm Stella, Seungcheol’s cousin. You’re the Y/N Hong; it's so lovely to meet you finally.” Stella said with a smile; I returned the smile. “Hi Stella, you look lovely, may I add,” I said. Stella lets out a giggle. Seungcheol furrowed his brow, “Come on, everyone is hoping Seungcheol will finally settle down,” Stella said. I look at Seungcheol, his hands tucked into the pockets of his trousers. I follow Stella further down the hall, “What has you tensed up, baby cousin? Shouldn't you be holding Y/N’s hand at a time like this?” Stella asked. I felt relieved that she noticed; I on the other hand wouldn't have said much.

I bite my lip as Stella turns to look at Seungcheol bitterly and crosses her arms, “I see you’re still hiding behind that arrogance,” She says. I look at Seungcheol; I shake my head lightly. Seungcheol chuckles, “Y/N is shy upon public affection display,” He said. This man has every lie and trick up his sleeves; Stella stole a glance. “But if it makes you feel better and want something to gossip about,” Seungcheol said, his distance from me disappears.

His scent intoxicates me, making my mind feel fuzzy. Shivers run down my spine at his soft touch against my waist, “Stella likes to gossip about everyone; don't mind her rudeness about certain things.” Seungcheol whispers. I smile sheepishly, “I apologize for my shyness; I'm not used to dating. Seungcheol is, in fact, my first boyfriend.” I lie, looking at Stella. Her face displays a look of shock, “Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—” I smile and shake my head. “It's okay,” I said, Seungcheol’s grip on my waist tightness a bit.

I felt anxious as we got to the gathering; Mrs. Choi had a grin on her lips. “Y/N! Oh my god it's so lovely to see you again.” Her voice is cheerful as always; I smile as she pulls me into a light hug. “When Seungcheol finally told me about you, I have to admit I was thrilled knowing it was you.” Mrs. Choi said, I look at Seungcheol. A smile was on his lips, “Mrs. Choi it’s great to see you doing well,” I said. Mrs. Choi pulls away, “Please dear call me Mirae, you’re no longer a stranger to me.” She said. “Don this is Y/N, that wonderful woman I was telling you about.” Mirae said with a smile, a man in his mid-forties steps forward.

I can see where Seungcheol gets his intimidating looks, although Seungcheol has his mother’s eyes. “It's good to see my son finally dating,” Mr. Choi said. I smile at them. “It's great to meet you all; finally, Seungcheol has always been secretive about his family, and I can see why,” I said. Mirae laughed softly. “Gatekeeping us, are we now, Seungcheol,” Mirae said, patting Seungcheol’s arm, “Well, now it's no secret,” Seungcheol said. Mr. Choi nods, “Come, you must meet the rest of the family.” He said, extending his hand to his wife. I feel Seungcheol’s hand softly against my back. “Your parents are lovely,” I whisper, Seungcheol smiles. “Yeah, well I'm glad they're the ones you don't have to worry about.” He whispers; I felt more anxious.

“You rather let the project not proceed than get investors,” the conversions were business-related, and boy was this going to be a long night. The room was filled with well-dressed people, they all screamed rich and elegancy. Music was playing softly, “Everyone Seungcheol is here,” Mr. Choi announced. The pair of eyes were all on Seungcheol but I could feel them on me as well, I felt my breath hitch. “Seungcheol how’s business?” One of the men asked, “It's good uncle Eunho, Auntie Sekyung how are you?” Seungcheol asked.

Seeing Seungcheol this way made me realize that perhaps his arrogance is just a display, “Seungcheol, I see that you’ve brought someone.” His aunt said. Judging from how she looked at me, it wasn't a pleased look but rather a disappointing one. I gulped softly and let a smile form on my lips; I bowed at them. “Uncle, Auntie, this is Y/N Hong, my girlfriend. Y/N, this is my uncle Choi Eunho and his wife Lee Sekyung.” Seungcheol said as he extended his hand out to me; I slipped my hand into his. “Mr. Choi, Ms. Lee it's nice to meet you.” I said letting the smile remain on my lips. “How did you two meet? How long have you two been dating?” Sekyung asked, I felt pressured and light headed.

I smile faintly, “We’ve been together for two months; we turn three next month. We met through one of our friends playing Cupid” I lie, feeling less pressured when Seungcheol tightens his grip on my hand. Sekyung’s eyes searched me, head to toe. Making this feel like a job interview, it's like she’s trying to see if I'm fit for her nephew. “Well, darling, I can see why Seungcheol has eyes for you. You’re blessed from the chest to behind.” Her words made me feel uncomfortable, I could feel the other men stare at the mention of chest. “Sekyung don't go making the poor young woman uncomfortable now,” Don said with a stern tone, Sekyung forced a smile. “I apologize if I am making you uncomfortable, I was merely making sure you aren't another sex object for Seungcheol,” Sekyung said as she brought the champagne glass to her red lips, Seungcheol lets out a stiff chuckle.

“Auntie Sekyung, please, don't bring up the past,” Seungcheol said; his grip was tighter, making him slightly prick himself with a nail. I let my thumb soothe over where I had accidentally pinched him; his grip loosens. Sekyung had a faint smirk dancing on her lips, “Well then, shall we get to know Ms. Hong before the rest of the guests arrive.” Eunho said as he wrapped an arm around Sekyung. Everyone followed them out the back patio, leaving us alone. I let a small breath of relief escape my lips, “I’m so sorry about my aunt; I didn't expect her to say such things.” Seungcheol whispers as his grip is gone. I smiled softly at him as I grabbed his hand again, Sekyung is like a hawk keeping a close eye on us.

I look at his hand, ensuring the nail didn't pierce him, “Don't look, but your aunt is watching. Also, you accidentally held my hand too tight. You pricked yourself with my nail,” I whisper to him. I bring his hand to my lips, pressing a small kiss on the slightly injured area. “My oh my Y/N, oh would’ve guessed you have your ways to awe a man,” Seungcheol whispers with a smirk. I let a small laugh escape my lips; I suppressed a gasp as he wrapped his arms around my waist. Pulling me closer to him, “Maybe you’re not bad after all,” He whispers against my earlobe. His voice made my heart flip; I cleared my throat and patted his shoulder softly. “We should join your family,” I said, turning to see Sekyung turning to look away.

“She’s not looking anymore,” I whisper; Seungcheol pulls himself off me. His hand in mine once again as we make our way to the patio, “Oh Cheol, I'm so glad that you’re happy. Y/N, Don, and I were talking about inviting you over for breakfast tomorrow. Would you do us the honor?” Mirae asked with a smile. I smile and nod, “I would be honored to join you for breakfast.” I said. Mirae grins ear to ear, “Oh Seungcheol, please join us as well.” Mirae pouts at her son. Seungcheol may be an asshole, but he’s such a softie for his mother, “I will eomma.” He said with a smile.

The music seemed to have gotten a bit loud as more guests arrived, “Grandpa Dante, you're here.” Stella said as she placed her glass on the island bar. Seungcheol looked hopeless as his aunt and uncle brought his grandfather over to us; we bowed. “Grandfather, this is Y/N Hong. My girlfriend, Y/N, this is my grandfather, Choi Dante.” Seungcheol’s voice was filled with nerves, but no one seemed to notice. I let a small smile form on my lips as his grandfather nods and smiles, “Ms. Hong, I’m glad that my grandson is finally dating. Tell me is he treating you right?” Grandfather Dante asks.

I let a small laugh leave my lips, “Yes, he is; believe it or not, Seungcheol can be pretty romantic.” I said, looking at Seungcheol and his grandfather. I rubbed small soothing circles with my thumb on Seungcheol’s hand, which was shaking in my grip. “Is he now? Well, I'm glad that Seungcheol knows how to treat a woman. I hope you enjoy yourselves tonight,” Grandfather Dante said as he walked over to the group of businessmen with Sekyung and Eunho. Seungcheol lets go of my hand. “I’ll be right back,” He said; his mother and father nodded. I look at him as he loosens the tie a little before stepping inside the villa.

“Don't worry, love, you didn't do anything,” Mirae whispers as she guides me to sit down by the pit fire, “Seungcheol gets like that every time his grandfather, Eunho, and Sekyung are around. He’s only under pressure by it all.” Mirae whispers as she hands me a glass of champagne. I smile faintly as she clings her glass to mine, “To new beginnings,” She said. I bring the glass to my lips, but I feel uneasy knowing Seungcheol is inside, feeling overwhelmed. “Mrs. Choi—Mirae, is Seungcheol the eldest of the family?” I asked. Mirae shook her head. “No he’s not; he’s the youngest one. His brother Seungyeol is studying abroad and didn't want to take the business title so his grandfather appointed Seungcheol as the heir.” Mirae said.

I look at the bubbling champagne; he’s the youngest in his family. “He was appointed when he was only eighteen, so try to understand that he’s only ever known how to maintain a low profile and tends to keep to himself.” Mirae says as she pats my hand, “Can you be there for Seungcheol when he needs someone to run to?” Mirae asks. I look at her; I bite my lip. “Promise me that you will be by his side when he’s in pain, stressed, and overwhelmed,” she whispers. I smiled and held her hand, “I promise you that I’ll be the person he needs to run to,” I said. Mirae smiles, “Thank you, gosh I'm so glad that Seungcheol is dating you. I wasn't very impressed with his last girlfriend, she wasn’t the kindest person I’ve met.” She said.

I feel curiosity take over me at the mention of old girlfriend, “I just hope Seungcheol doesn't ruin this opportunity with you; Seungcheol was all over the place when his last girlfriend ended things with him.” Mirae whispers. I look at her, “Oh god, really. I can't imagine what he had gone through. Seungcheol never mentioned it before.” I whisper. Mirae sighs, “Well enough of Seungcheol, tell me more about yourself.” She says to bring the glass to her lips. I smile, “Well, where do I start? I love to read books…I enjoy cooking and baking. Hmm, I love doing what I do for work.” I said. Mirae smiled and giggled. “A woman who loves her job, reading, and cooking. Mmm, Seungcheol has indeed won me over with you.” She says; this time, I giggle.

Seungcheol…where are you? What are you doing?

[jaycewrites-192000]

Future...

Summery: Take a look into one of the more darker futures, for the Kawata siblings...

Paring(s): Platonic!Nahoya Kawata x Platonic!Reader x Platonic!Souya Kawata

Rating: SFW

Warning(s): First 12 Year Timeskip, Kisaki's In Charge, Slight Mental Abuse(from Smiley), Major Character Death, Manga Spoilers, Angst With No Happy End

Time for some angst~

Enjoy...

Sometimes you wonder...how it ever could have ended up like this? How things went so horribly wrong. Why the people you once considered friends...turn out to be total strangers. It was like you couldn't recognize any of them, not even your own family...

Why? Why did this happen? How did this happen?

It was a night like most, with you being left alone once again. The large luxurious 'home' you and your brothers had moved into only made you feel all the more small and alone. Tonight, you were left alone with your thoughts, which as of recently, was not a good thing. And yet, you were to deal with it on your own. Something that you never had to do before.

Your brothers were not here to help you through it this time...or the time before...or ever...

You sighed, taking a few deep breaths trying desperately to calm your racing mind. You reached for your phone once again, and stared at the screen for a while. Contemplating calling the last person you wanted to hear from. Even though you hated him...no...you couldn't bring yourself to really feel like that. Despite everything he's done...you still loved him.

You still loved Nahoya. It hurts...it hurts so much to admit it...but you do. He was your family, the only family you had...

'I guess it would be pretty bad if he turned up dead...' You thought, thumb still hovering over the call button. Just as you were about to press it, you heard the front door open. Well, more like slam open...which means...

"Oh great..." You muttered. Reluctantly, you got out of your bed and made your way through the halls until you reached the living room, where you saw your oldest brother dragging his feet further into the home. His once lively peach curls were now straight and hung over his eyes, covering his face from all expression to your view.

He went into the kitchen and opened up the liquor cabinet, pulling out a large bottle before slamming it onto the counter. Not hard enough to break it, but hard enough to show that he was not in the most pleasant of moods. He reached for a glass, moving his hair from his face before filling it, then quickly downing it, then pouring another.

Yep...it was one of those nights alright.

You hesitantly stepped into the entrance of the kitchen, Nahoya didn't bother acknowledging your presence. But the way he tensed ever so slightly, let you know he knew you were there. There was a brief silence between the two of you. Then, to your surprise, Nahoya spoke first.

"So, you just gonna fucking stare or are you gonna say something?" He spat, voice full of venom.

"Just...making sure you weren't hurt." You said weakly. "If I was hurt, don't you think I would have done something about you fucking moron?" He side-eyed you before turning his attention back on his drink.

"I guess..." You sighed. "Then don't ask stupid questions." He muttered before taking a swig. "Nahoya?"

"What?" He glared at you. You couldn't bring yourself to look him the eyes as you spoke. "I-I'm sorry...for what I said last night."

Ah that night, it was one of the worst arguments you and your brother had ever had.

"Say that again!" The sound of breaking glass echoed off the walls. "I fucking dare to say it again bitch!"

"Gladly! I said you are acting like an asshole! Want me to say it louder!? I know you have trouble comprehending, so maybe I should spell it out too while I'm at it, dumbass!"

"Oh really? I'm the dumbass! Says the one, who couldn't keep her god damn mouth shut during the meeting!" Nahoya's yelling got louder as he went on. "You just had to open your fucking mouth didn't you!? You know how much shit, you're putting me through!?"

"I was just trying to-" He cut you off when he grabbed you by your shirt collar, his face inches from your own.

"Maybe I shouldn't have stepped in and just let Kisaki put a fucking bullet through your head!" You could never say that you were afraid of your brother, no matter how mad he got...but the way he looked right now...the person holding you was not your brother.

"At least then, I won't have some useless little punk following me around and annoying the shit out of me anymore! How about you do us all a favor, and keep your fucking mouth shut!?" He finished by throwing you aside, catching yourself as your body hit the floor. Again, you could never say that your brother ever laid his hands on you, even in a fit of rage...but tonight he came damn close.

Tears welled up in your eyes. Your hands clenched tightly into fists, and yet, you would not bring yourself to strike your brother. Your voice cracked as you whimpered out a pathetic. "I hate you..."

Nahoya turned to you, still furious. "The fuck did you say? Speak up!"

"I hate you! I wish Souya was here! I was it was you who died instead!"

Silence...

The same silence carried out the rest of the night, to the following day, up until now...

"Tsk. Like I give a shit if you're sorry or not." Nahoya muttered. "I didn't mean it." You went on anyway. "I didn't mean it at all. I don't wish that you were dead... But I really do wish that...that Souya was still here..." You sniffled as tears ran down your cheeks. Nahoya was silent as you continued. "Why...why did he have to die? What did he do to deserve that?"

It had been a month since Souya's death. He and Nahoya were out running errands for Toman, when a group of men ambushed them. It happened so fast, before they knew what was happening,they just started firing rounds after rounds at them. Only, Souya was the only one who got hit. Once they saw that, they quickly fled, never to be seen again. It was suspected they were a rival gang, but they never found out just who it was.

In Nahoya's arms, Souya's dying words were "Take care of Y/n..."

Upon remembering those words, Nahoya felt an overbearing sense of hatred and disgust towards himself. Ever since Toman changed, he had changed as well. He became more aggressive, more quick to anger, he lost sight of who he was and what Toman once was. And in that time, he neglected his own family...including his sister. The same person, who he was suppose to protect.

And instead...he had treated like trash, more so since Souya died. It was no excuse, the fact that his other half was severed from him forever, was no reason to treat his sister like he does.

"I miss him so much Nahoya..." You cry as you tried to wipe your tears away.

Nahoya looked down at the half empty glass, the hand that he held it with shook as he spoke. "Yeah..." He set it down before raking his hand through his hair with a shaky sigh.

"...Me too."

That night, you would lie in bed wondering...maybe in another life, things might have turned out differently. Toman would always stay the same. And the you, Nahoya, and Souya, would always be together in a brighter future...

But not in this future would things be as they were. Not now...not ever...

(After two months of nothing, I give you all some angst. Lol don’t worry, future stories won’t be as angsty as this one)

[tadpolejourney]

Days 11-12

I was so sick last night, I couldn't write. I'll have to put my work on Act V aside to catch up on yesterday and today.

Yesterday was such a crazy ass fucking day. I must emphasize that I have been having some very strange and crazy days lately, and this was the most insane day yet.

Let's start with first thing yesterday morning. I can't say I didn't see this coming with all the flirting we've been doing. Astarion propositioned me for sex. He's not at all interested in a real relationship. I reminded him our relationship isn't transactional and he didn't need to repay the favor of my blood for sex. He talked about how I 'obviously' wanted him because I was quivering when he bit me. More like he's been the obvious one, and I shook because it hurt like hell and it was taking everything I had not to cry out, but I let him protect his ego to cushion the rejection. When I turned him down, he told me I was no fun, but he doesn't seem to have any hard feelings about it. I can't just have sex with whoever, whenever. I've never had the luxury of being able to just 'let go' and have sex only for the fun of it with anyone who I felt attracted to. That has always felt unsafe to me, and probably always will. Truthfully, if I could I would have said yes to him. I had no other reason to say no.

We got Karlach an engine upgrade today. I'm glad we met the blacksmith Dammon and he's able and willing to help. Also, those two have some real chemistry. I wonder if either or both of them realize it.

Gale needed another magical item today. This time he said it wasn't working to quell his hunger like before. He seemed frightened.

We made it to the goblin camp. I really try not to be racist but goblins are fucking stupid, disgusting, and barbaric.

It looks like the mother owlbear in the cave didn't make it. I found her cub taken captive at the camp and bargained with a goblin woman to set him free. I hope he can find our camp.

Volothamp Geddarm, of all people, was imprisoned by a goblin woman who called him her 'pigeon'. I watched him floundering to come up with a verse in front of an audience of drunk goblins. I spoke with him in camp tonight, and he had 0 interesting things to say and kept constantly talking over me. A classic mansplainer. Never meet your heroes. Not that he is really my hero. His music really isn't my style, and I don't tend to read fairy tales either. He's more like someone I'm obligated to know about in my profession. Still, color me unimpressed.

We found Halsin at the goblin camp, alive and imprisoned. We helped free him and kill his captors. He knew immediately that I was infected, and that my infection was atypical. He's just as good of a healer as the druids claimed. But he can't cure us either. He does, however, know where to find our cure. Moonrise Towers. He asked us to kill the leaders of the goblin camp to protect his grove. Of course we're doing it. Also, why does every ally I make have to be so hot? IT'S VERY DISTRACTING. If I could find allies that are just average looking or even ugly, or like geriatric, or married, that would be fantastic. I hope Halsin is married. Or who knows, maybe we'll hit it off and I can forget about the dude I really like who I've definitely been hitting on that just fucking ignores me anyway.

Shadowheart has been carrying around a strange artifact this whole time. True to form she was very rude when I asked about it a tenday ago, so I ignored it. Until today. It made its way to me somehow while we were in the goblin camp. I finally heard the voice of this Absolute. It showed me a vision of its chosen, said I should aid in their search for a weapon. The power it wields to make us obey is unlike anything I've ever felt or experienced. The artifact protected us somehow.

I met the three leaders of the goblin camp. These 'True Soul' leaders all had parasites. They think I'm their ally because I'm infected. Minthara referred to me as 'grotesque'. She seems highly intelligent and tough as nails. Priestess Gut is a sadist branding everyone she can get her hands on, but not nearly as powerful as she claims to be. Dror Ragzlin is ambitious, and like all ambitious people, his ambition makes him a narrow-minded moron.

So that was yesterday up until being very sick last night in camp. Late last night Lae'zel snuck up behind me while I was sitting on the ground and put a dagger to my throat. She thought we were transforming, and she was ready to kill me, the others, and then herself. I felt her fear and her doubt, and it didn't take much to convince her to stand down. I wasn't positive we weren't transforming, but I also wasn't ready to die or let anyone else be killed over an assumption. We went to sleep after that.

According to a being that came to me in my dreams, I was sick last night because I really was transforming into a mindflayer. Lae'zel was right, but luckily she didn't kill me or anyone else. This guardian guy, a big, strange-looking, half elf male in fancy armor, says he made me better. Told me I needed to wield the power the parasite has granted me, that I had potential and could 'save us all'. Claimed to be my protector, and that he was fighting 'the enemy'. So purposely vague. Another day, another sales pitch. I don't know if I buy it. Perhaps some of it is true. I remain extremely skeptical.

Gale spoke to me this morning about the visitor in his dream, a supposed 'vision of unparalleled beauty and power'. I am truly annoyed that I felt so jealous upon hearing him say so. He confirmed what I'd suspected about mine. It wasn't a real person.

Everyone had the same dream, with a different guardian. Just when I thought shit could not get any weirder.

Today we attacked the goblin camp.

We went after Minthara first, as she is clearly the most dangerous and capable of the three. She was also closest to where Halsin was imprisoned and there was a scrying eye that would have made subterfuge impossible. When I struck what I'm sure everyone thought was the final blow I deliberately knocked her unconscious rather than killing her. I spared her without telling anyone. I thought about how if I did not have this weird entity or that weird box protecting me from the Absolute, I could be just like she is. I could not bring myself to kill her. I made an emotional decision, and I could definitely come to regret it later. Halsin could hate me for what I did. Minthara would likely kill me for what I did. She is Lolth-sworn drow. This would be utterly humiliating for her if she knew. Maybe she won't know though. The others didn't realize what I'd done. We stripped her while she was unconscious like we would have a corpse. I had a parasite in my bag that I nicked off Nettie's table when no one was looking, and I said it came from Minthara. Maybe her being alive can just be a 'miraculous survival'. I'm hoping the Absolute lost its influence there because of all the followers we murdered, and she can get a chance to be free. And this is yet another reason why I feel like I did something truly dumb: I'm not even sure that's how this works. I could have just condemned her to be a mindflayer and doomed many, or failed to make any change at all to her situation (which means she most certainly could get killed outright for her failure as a leader). I can only really hope for the best and live with the consequences of what I've done, whatever they may be.

I'm getting really tired of having to make all these crucial decisions that not only direct my fate, but also the fates of so many others.

When we pulled the tadpoles from Priestess Gut and Dror Ragzlin, the guardian spoke to me in my mind, encouraged me to absorb their potential. I hesitated, but he promised to protect me, so I consumed it. I don't even know where to start in describing the feeling. To put it simply: weird, cold, uncomfortable, but also good. I feel more powerful, and I'm still myself.

Astarion immediately wanted one for himself, put on a cute pouty face and everything. He's so funny. He could have just asked without the theatrics. However, of course I love the theatrics. We made a deal not long after we met that for any locks he picks on chests he can claim the contents for himself. Anything he keeps or gives away is fully at his discretion, and no one gets a say in that. I give him all the tools and kits to pick locks and disarm traps, and he takes care of that for us. That was the deal. When it comes to picking locks and spotting and disarming traps, he's the best I've ever seen. He makes it look easy. Anyway, I'm bringing this up because I noticed the last few chests he's picked locks to open, he's asked the rest of us if we can make use of some of the things he finds. Today he opened a chest with infernal iron and willingly handed it to Karlach. He could have easily stashed it away and not a one of us would have been the wiser. That metal is worth a lot of coin. He's actually becoming a team player. I'm honestly impressed, he continues to surprise me. I thought at first he would be our biggest liability, but the opposite is true. He's proven himself to be our biggest asset. Naturally, I won't tell him that.

We found the way into the heart of the Selûnite temple the goblins were using for their camp. There's a ladder leading down into a chasm, and it's impossible to see the bottom. It's safe to say we found one way into the Underdark. I think I want to keep looking, because that ladder looks so fucking shady. Could just be my thing with heights though. I fucking hate heights.

Halsin suggested we celebrate tonight, rather than get an early start tomorrow. He reassured me our infection would be unlikely to progress spontaneously. He also doesn't know all of us nearly turned just last night. I hope he's right. I thought it could be really fun to let loose a little, and celebrate what turned out to be quite a victory. Saved the grove, saved the tieflings, freed Halsin, dispersed the Absolutists from this region, AND found another potential path for our cure.

When the party began, I wanted to talk to Gale right away if I'm being honest. But I thought, “Let's make him wait until I've spoken with literally everyone else but him. Let's see if he even notices, approaches me, or says anything about it at all when I speak to him”. Decided to test him. So I've barreled right past coping with his constant subtle rejection of me to being conniving to force him to actually reject me directly. You will never hear me proclaim to be mature or graceful, especially in matters of the heart. If he paid any attention at all, he got to watch nearly every single person I talked to either flirt with me or proposition me. I honestly lost count of how many people propositioned me... someone must have put something in the damn wine. I think Halsin and I were the only people not drinking it. I took a swig of Astarion's and spit it out immediately because it was so gross. Anyway... I made Gale think I was coming towards him halfway through making my way around the party, only to let Volo take me by the arm and whisk me right past him. I caught his eye and sent him the sultriest look I could manage without it being campy. Then I made an ass of myself flirting with Halsin. I don't know if Gale even noticed any of it. He probably didn't. The stupid shit I have pulled to try to get this man to acknowledge me...

When I spoke to him, he finally, finally, fucking finally opened up to me some. He talked about how he'd been living with his condition. Until he was kidnapped, he'd been in isolation for a year, maybe more. I was the first person he'd spent any significant amount of time with. He made some self-deprecating remark about leaving his wits and sensitivity behind in his tower. It took every bit of self-control I had not to just pounce on him. Instead I blurted out an 'I like you' sort of confession. But you know, snazzier than that in the moment because hi, it's me. Gave up on the whole 'done being obvious' thing once again and went right back to being obvious.

He paused before saying, 'Wait, are you...' and then he interrupted himself. Said something about how he'd clearly had too much wine and I not enough... and then proceeded to tell me that getting excited is a bad idea for him because of his condition. 'A conversation best held back for now.'

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGH.

Boy I will prepare a fucking dragon's hoard of magical items for you to consume continuously while we lie together if that's what it takes. I am so frustrated. I want to have this explained to me in a way that actually makes sense. He's fucking hiding something. Something huge. And until now, I was too much of a lovesick puppy to see it. I had to have it thrown in my face for me to notice.

I'm starting to feel like I'm being played. I'm pissed.

So naturally I spend the night with someone else I like. Karlach. And then I friend-zoned her. I said yes to her earlier tonight because I knew what she wanted, and I knew what I was going to do. Worse yet, she wasn't the only person I strung along last night. And why would I do that to someone who would hang the moon for me, who has only ever been kind to me, who is probably the coolest person I've ever met and will ever meet? After all, aren't I the hero goody-two-shoes people pleasing sweet lovely little doll-faced creature everyone thinks I am? I'll tell you exactly why. Because deep down, I'm a fucking asshole, and now I'm getting exactly what I deserve for it. I feel like absolute shit about tonight, and I will for a long time. Probably forever. My guilt and shame are endless.

These are the exact reasons why I always end up alone.

I know I've been emotionally circling the drain for an entire page of writing now. I need to go to bed.

<<< Day 10 | Index | Day 13 >>>

[raccoonfallsharder]

Window Across the Galaxy ✧*:･ﾟupdated 1/17

18+ only | rocket x f!oc | 25/27 chapters | wip| word count: pending. ♡ check the masterlist for expected updates ♡ ♡ see the "holiday special" ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ Winter Across the Galaxy * ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ [new 12/5] ♡

see new fan art of my girl jo! a few gorgeous sketches by @moonnpiie ♡♡♡♡ and a Chapter XXIV jo by @frostedwitch ♡♡♡♡

girl falls first; racoon falls harder.

Rocket isn’t sure how he continues to be surprised by her, or how he never seems to anticipate her next move, especially when — cosmically speaking — Jo’s the most predictable frickin’ person he knows. For one damn thing, she is constantly dropping down to the ground in front of him: in front of the cage with a plateful of food. In the streets of Conjunction. By his bed while he slept. The very first time she’d used her mouth on him. And then the next time, too. That whole experience had been so brain-melting he still isn’t sure he’ll ever recover. But for whatever reason, when she sits down at the foot of his chair this time and takes his hands in her own — so carefully — his heart is suddenly, unexpectedly, in his throat. He can’t breathe around it, can’t swallow. When she starts speaking, he already knows what she’s going to say. He can feel it in the air, like static electricity building toward a spark. Because, just as she’d said, she’d already told him a million times before. With and without words. But still. He can’t breathe. And once she’s done confessing, and gives him two kisses ��� one pressed into each palm, to keep — she looks at him patiently and shifts like she’s about to rise to her feet and go about her night, like she’s not expecting anything back. Because of course she’s not.

[NEW 1/9] ✧･ﾟ:*Chapter XXV. Little Love Stories. in which both of our heroes learn a little about themselves. ❤︎

i know there are parts of this don't read smoothly (sorry sorry sorry) but in general i am so so so happy with this chapter. drax. (╥﹏╥) we have two more chapters to go, which is.... kinda making me cry tbh. i already miss these two idiots so much. ~♡

explicit lines or references* abbreviated explicit sequences ❤︎ detailed/prolonged explicit sequences ❤︎❤︎

General summary/notes + links to recently preceding chapters behind the cut.

let me know via comment, message, or ask if you'd like to be added or removed from my fanfic taglist ♡

Rocket is captured by a Ravager crew hoping to get rich off the excessively large bounty on his head. Throwing a wrench in everyone’s plans is the Terran girl they hired to do some freelance assessing on a recent haul of goods they’ve seized from a Xandaran luxury liner. Oops.

slight AU starting pre-GOTG volume 1 (but will hit most of the same major plot points). slow burn + eventual smut with a lot of pining in the middle. kinda enemies-to-lovers? (but only one of these idiots thinks they're enemies).

let me be real with you: this fic is really about wish-fulfillment. not just the eventual smut (but that too). mostly i just want someone to be nice to my best boy raccoon

*･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:*✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*

Chapter I. A Delicacy. in which our reluctant heroes meet atop a crate of Sovereign porn in the bowels of a Ravager ship.

Chapter II. Monster For A Pet. in which one hero wrestles with his inner Groot, and the other is quite possibly a moron.

Chapter III. A Kindness. in which Rocket gets in his own damn way: not for the first time, and certainly not for the last.

Chapter IV. Got There First. in which our heroes obtain an arsenal and street food.

Chapter V. Things No-One Has Said Before. in which one hero refuses to babysit and the other refuses to leave.

Chapter VI. Two and a Half Billion Units.in which we lean into the “they were roommates” trope. Jolie has misgivings, while Rocket has fantasies - about getting rich, of course.

Chapter VII. I'm Here. in which we visit Knowhere.

Chapter VIII. The Care & Feeding of Human Pets. in which our heroes practice breathing and we lean into a new trope: “there was (technically) one bed.”

Chapter IX. Scrapmetal and a Dream. in which we redefine homemaking.

Chapter X. Thin Fucking Ice. in which our heroes get fucked. Not in the good way.

Chapter XI. Let It Be. in which Xandar is saved and good lives are lost.

Chapter XII. So Much It Hurts. in which we try not to fuck up the vibes.

Chapter XIII. Don’t Wait. in which a lost sister is found and Drax grapples with the concept of sarcasm.

Chapter XIV. Exactly Like a Flower. in which comfort is shared.

Chapter XV: Galaxy-Breaking Shit. in which more comfort is shared, and life is good. Briefly.

Chapter XVI. Run. in which Rocket falls victim to his superstitions.

Chapter XVII. A Seedling. A Fox. A Little Girl. in which the party is divided.

Chapter XVIII. I Happen to Know a Guy. in which our heroes get fucked. Again. Still not in the good way.

Chapter XIX. He Was Loved. in which a planet is killed, a friend is made and lost, and nobody still has any frickin’ tape.

Chapter XX. Some Nerve. *in which an ultimatum is given.

Chapter XXI. I Very Still. ❤︎❤︎ in which our heroes get fucked. In the good way, this time. Finally.

Chapter XXII. Got There Worse. ❤︎❤︎ in which Rocket does not say "I love you."

Chapter XXIII. We're Gonna Need a Bigger Table. ❤︎ in which the galaxy continues to spin.

Chapter XXIV. Space Would Be Better. ❤︎❤︎ in which Rocket ~discreetly~ claims the title of boyfriend.

Chapter XXV. Little Love Stories. * in which both of our heroes learn a little bit about themselves.

Chapter XXVI. Other Side of the Window. ❤︎

Chapter XXV. The Most Beautiful Thing in My House. ❤︎❤︎

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ Winter Across the Galaxy * ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆A Holiday Special *

Epilogue: Interviewing Rocket & Jo. ten years after Window ends. short/drabbly, silly fluff.

explicit lines or references* abbreviated explicit sequences ❤︎ detailed/prolonged explicit sequences ❤︎❤︎

taglist ♡ @evolvingchaoswitch ♡ @wren-phoenix ♡ @pretty-chips ♡ @suicidalshitstick ♡ @glow-autumz

[chubphoe-linkclick]

A Defense of Li Tianchen

BECAUSE HE SUCKS BUT SO DOES HIS LIFE

At some point, I started thinking about how the twin's consciousnesses actually work when Li Tianchen possesses Li Tianxi, because it's implied that LTX is aware somehow when they're combining powers. And while LTC is doing the actions, it also kinda raises the question of how responsible LTX is for this since she is an accessory to a series of murders. Which lead to me remembering: she's 12.

But, like, they're twins.

They were both 12 at the same time when they were orphaned, an incredibly vulnerable point in their lives, and then pushed into this line of work by the very person who was charged with caring for them. We met LTC being the pos he is as an adult, but Qian Jin had been their parental figure, getting them to assassinate people from such an early age, likely deploying the emotionally manipulating even earlier with play pretend kindness that LTC had to resist against by himself. Like LTC's options were incredibly limited, I'm not gonna beef with the 12 y/o who's just trying his best here.

Especially after being asked to carry out the murder of the alleged adulterer, LTC realises that QJ is the type of person he despises the most: a woman-abusing husband that runs off his own paranoia. To LTC, he is garbage and stinky stinky doo doo, leaving LTC nor LTX with only each other to trust in the world. Only Xixi is in need of someone (LTC) to care for her due to her disability. And being mute, she's never able to provide LTC with the much needed emotional warmth to help his heart survive the dark road they're forced to walk, the road he's forced to navigate by himself.

This leaves LTC stuck in this weird situation where he just has to accept this life and the line of work QJ is giving to him despite detesting the bastard probably more than anything else. He can't really tell anyone because it sounds batshit insane. LTC also has benevolent reasons to stay with QJ and keep doing what he asks of them because QJ can guarantee LTX's wellbeing (e.g. access to a special school so she can finally get education and support). The only person who cares about him can't do anything to help because life is cruel. Like holy shit this tween isn't gonna have the balls to confront QJ about this even though he's sussed the rat bastard out. All the twins know are toxic, abusive adults that can’t be trusted; why would the next foster family be any different? “A familiar devil is better than an unfamiliar angel” is often a saying that rings painfully true for a lot of people in an abusive situation; more uncertainty and powerlessness is the last thing victims need in their lives. Even more so since QJ clearly has mafia connections. Especially so since LTC choosing to cooperate with QJ ensures that LTX will have the building blocks of good life. Safety, sheltered, food, and clothing can look like luxury when you’re use to so much less.

By the time LTC is big enough to have a chance of breaking free of his circumstances, he doesn't.

Why?

Because that's how it's always been. Because he and Xixi never talk about anything. Because they're both messed up kids on the inside that have no one to guide them and are still running on the same infantile survival mode that they have been before being orphaned. Because even if LTC does has the power to change things, how can he have any belief that his actions will ever be enough; enough to escape the grips of the darkness that he's forced to live with, enough to hope for happy and fulfilling lives, enough for the siblings to finally go back home.

LTC is ten types of awful and he should probably get the death penalty, but wow has his life been a special type of hell. I have so much beef when people don't give due sympathy when it's sorely needed, which imo I see a lot in the fandom with it's favouring of Xixi even when we only knew about the twins as children.

I don’t think he’s redeemable nor do I want him to be, but I do think he’s misunderstood as heck. But I will admit that the OTT characterisation season 2 decided to give him and QJ early on wasn’t doing him any damn favours.

[onwesterlywinds]

PROMPT #12: Dowdy

The captain of the Queensguard knocked on her door for the third time with far more forceful insistence.

"If you don't come out from there in two minutes," she snapped, "it'll be my head on the line."

Vera's lord husband was a patient man in many respects, but he did not abide tardiness in any form - unless, of course, it came directly from the emperor. Every bell of his schedule was accounted for; he even blocked out time for how long it would take him to traverse the corridors of the palace. He had expected the same discipline in Vera ever since their wedding, the same rigid punctuality, and would make it quite clear to her whenever she failed in his eyes.

And despite their name, the Queensguard very much reported to the viceroy.

"I'm finishing my makeup," Vera explained for the umpteenth time.

The doorknob rattled - then there came the sound of the inevitable key scraping in the lock, and the door flew open. Fordola stormed in with all the fury of an invader. "You've been 'finishing your makeup' for twenty bloody minutes. I've watched you do it in under five most mornings this week."

"Sometimes, believe it or not," said Vera, unable to keep her voice from rising, "people make mistakes. And outside of washing one's entire face, mistakes in kohl are not so simple to undo." Even now, she had to hope that no one would look too closely at the slight smear under her right eye.

Fordola levied one of her signature scoffs and crossed her arms over her chest. "Enough of this. You look fine - beautiful, even." The venom in her voice made it clear what she thought of such a distinction. "Is that what you need to get your arse moving, my lady?"

"I need," said Vera, "just another moment of silent concentration. Before my hand slips again."

Blessedly, Fordola gave it to her, and without any of the huffing Vera had come to expect. With only another couple of strokes of her brush and a single line of her pencil, she was finished, her shadows perfectly balanced. "And there we have it. I'm ready."

But Fordola did not move. She continued staring at Vera, and herself, in the ornate desktop mirror that had allegedly once belonged to Mad King Theodoric's mother. "Why even bother?" she muttered.

"What?"

At first, Vera could only interpret her words as referring to her impending meeting with the viceroy in the throne room. Then she saw where Fordola's gaze had fallen: to the ceramic bowl of kohl powder atop the table, its lid still off to one side.

"Don't be daft. I know you hear what they say about you - Livia and all the rest. You'll never be Garlean enough for any of them. It's why His Radiance married you off and dumped you here."

Vera did not stand from her stool. She stared back into the mirror at Fordola's face, at the bitterness clenched in the curve of her mouth, and realized only then that she could not find it in herself to be angry at Fordola for the words she parroted. "I don't wear makeup to look Garlean, Fordola," she said. "Besides, it was Ala Mhigans who invented it."

The young captain could only stare at her, as if she had spoken in some language that belonged to neither of them.

"Thousands of years ago, we wore eyeliner and eye shadow to protect our vision from the sun and, yes, intimidate our enemies on the battlefield. From our ancestors, it spread to Thavnair and Ul'dah through trade. Only now that the Garleans have deemed it a luxury do they think themselves the arbiters of its use." She made to pick up her brushes, to set the lid back onto the kohl, and hesitated at the look on Fordola's face. "…You should try it. See how you like it."

"Absolutely not," she snapped.

"I think it would suit your features."

Something in that statement stunned Fordola enough for Vera to guide her onto the makeup stool. For Fordola, she scarcely needed a plan: she employed bold strokes above and below the eyes, traditional yet masculine in a way that made her irises seem to shine with the same colors as the tattoo upon her cheek. She was finished within a matter of seconds, not minutes; all the same, Fordola took only a moment to admire herself before standing with a scowl. "We're late. And now everyone will see the reason why."

"Or," Vera shot back, "they'll see we look like warriors."

All the same, they rushed to the throne room with as quick of a stride as they could muster, turning the heads of the guards more for their haste than their aesthetics.

The viceroy sat upon the throne, much as he usually did at that hour of the day, and the first petitioner had already been granted admission. His words faded into silence as she approached, until the echoes of her heels against the polished tile filled the chamber.

"Vera," said Gaius van Baelsar. "My instructions were for you to join me for petitions at noon. The time is now twelve minutes past."

Behind his shoulder, Gaius' Undercity minder sneered at her. The prick in red armor whose name she could never remember whispered something to Livia, who bit back a snort of laughter.

Vera readjusted her stance, trying to channel every ilm of her father's posture. "I was tending to an urgent personal correspondence."

Gaius' brow furrowed. "More urgent than your attention to your people? The people for whom you and I are responsible?"

She turned back to the Ala Mhigan man standing, his hands clasped together in front of him, at the foot of the throne. "…No," she conceded. "I apologize, my lord."

But Gaius said nothing in reply, and merely gestured to the man before them.

To him, Vera inclined her head. "I apologize, countryman-" It would have to do, as she had arrived too late to hear his official imperial rank. "-that other matters prevented my timely presence."

The wording was petty, and she knew it; later, she would hear an entire lecture from her lord husband on accountability, and the burden of rule. There would be entire missives sent to Solus and her father about her impertinence, and her selfishness, and a host of other imagined failings. For the time being, Gaius merely sighed and said, "Fordola."

"Yes, ser."

"…See that vanity is removed from her daily schedule."

[buffyspeak]

From Katniss' POV, we know that every district has specialization about their main product or industry, such as District 3 (technology), D4 (fishing), D12 (coal) etc.

What kind of economic system do you think Panem have?

If we can draw parallel with real world right now, which country is the most similar with Panem?

What's your opinion about this situation on Panem and its system?

Thank you 😊

@curiousnonny

hi there!! i saw this a while back and forgot to answer until now, so i appreciate your patience because this is definitely a real interesting subject. i'm probably not the best person to ask, tbh, as i'm not well-researched in my understanding of modern economics and find it all a little fake and strange (as in, money only has value insofar as we assign, value to it), but regardless here are my thoughts!

i don't have any specific quotes to pull, but i'm confident i remember references made to coins and possibly bills as well, so panem clearly has some form of finacial currency comparable to what we have now. it seems unlikely it's the same kind, as i actually believe that these are the kinds of things that would've retained their names if passed down so many generations later, but who knows?

it also seems, however, that the majority of district 12, at least, which is the district we are most familiar with, does not have reliable access to such currency. it's possible that the merchants do - though i find it unlikely they have it in abundance, as we see the baker regularly accepts hunting spoils as currency. the only people who probably regularly pay them in currency are peacekeepers - but in general, it seems that district 12's economy functions primarily - and could not function without - an illegal and somewhat rudimentary bartering system. we learn of a whole illegal black market center known as The Hob very early on. this actually seems to be where MOST of the day-to-day trading activities go on. it's notable because - unless i'm not remembering correctly? - even some of the merchants are known to frequent it, with katniss noting they always waited until the baker's wife left before engaging him in a trade. i could be wrong - it's possible she meant at the bakery. regardless, it's worthwhile to note that while the merchants are obviously materially better-off than those from the seam, they still live in the poorest district and it doesn't seem like even they could function without partaking in some of the bartering system that defines the district. (understanding the culture here is also signifcant in terms of understanding katniss' relationship to being indebted to others.

interesting, too, is the value we learn specific items may hold. for instance: at the start of thg, gale trades the baker a squirrel for a loaf of bread. this is implied (or maybe outright stated? i don't have my copy handy) to be a very good trade, and it's also said that the baker was likely feeling generous that day. a squirrel may be a more life-sustaining product in that it provides more protein in a meal, but A) it is an illicit product, since hunting is illegal, and therefore there is less room on gale's part for negotiation and B) fine bakery like what the mellarks make is a luxury item, with a lot of demand for it but few outside of the peacekeepers who can actually afford it. mr. mellark seems like someone who probably tries to trade fairly, but there is more value assigned to his bread than there is to gale's squirrel.

i'm also very fascinated by both katniss and peeta's changing relationship with currency at the beginning of catching fire, as we learn that, as victors, they earn (what i believe is) a monthly capitol-sponsored income that is substantial enough that they will never need to work again and are not expected to finish school. i have no doubt that this is the first time in katniss' life she has had any signifcant contact with this kind of currency, and i believe it is more unfamiliar to peeta, too, than one might expect. this puts both of them in a new kind of class inside there district (one that only haymitch had entered before them), alienating them from their loved ones in some very interesting ways. what i'm particularly interested in is understanding that this newfound wealth is framed by the capitol as a reward but is fundamentally just another means of control. while the insidiousness of this is not delved into as clearly as other aspects of the capitol's control over the victors, i think one could make a strong parallel between this and more real-world exampels of financial abuse. (i also think this is why i find it a bit harsh when people get down on gale for not accepting when katniss offers him some of her newfound wealth as a victor. i won't act like pride has nothing to do with it - though even that i can understand - but one of gale's strengths is that he really does understand the tactics the capitol uses for manipulation and control. he can't always regulate his feelings about them, but i think he implicitly understands in this situation that accepting this offer would just be one more way he was putting his life in the hands of the capitol. it's also worth noting that his and katniss relationship has always been one based in transaction. they came to care about each other in real and profound ways, but it's hard to shake that original dynamic of "i give you this, you give me that, i teach you this, you teach me that, i protect you, you protect me." only now, in this scenario, gale has nothing comparable in value to exchange for what katniss is offering him. and while katniss doesn't care about that, he obviously does. and i can understand that.)

we obviously know a lot less about every other district, and i'm not well-versed enough in economics that i feel confident in extrapolating beyond some very basic assumptions. (mainly that i assume outside the capitol, there is some sort of underground/black market trade system in most districts, likely based on their specialized industry. for example, i imagine resale of scraps of technology has a significant market in district 3. i imagine currency as we think of it is still less common than in the capitol in most districts, though i think it's likely more common in say, district 2 in exchange for the weaponry industry than it is in somewhere like district 7.)

we know a little bit more about the capitol than we do most other districts, though ofc, district 12 remains the one we know most about, as the story is told through katniss' eyes. but interestingly, even in the capitol - where most citizens are perceived as very well-off by katniss - it only seems that only those who are either in government or heavily involved in the games (which, in a way, do seem to function like a department of governement) are the ultra-wealthy. many of the citizens of the capitol certainly have this appearance - and can engage in luxuries that those in district 12 couldn't dream of - but we find it out in mockingjay that many of them are in debt, implying that there is some sort of credit system, and that those who cannot pay off their debts might eventually be forced into becoming peackeepers. in tbosas, we also learn that the war took a financial toll on some families and lifted up others, with sejanus' family rising in both wealth and social status and coriolanus' family losing his wealth and having to keep up a facade of maintaining his class and social status. while snow's family was obviously significantly impaired, i doubt he was an outlier in being financially affected by the war, and since the events of the original trilogy are really only a few generations later, it's likely that the family's acutely affected directly proceeding the war are those most susceptible to debt years later.

i don't think we can assign a single economic system to panem because the two places we have the clearest pictures of have such opposing systems, but it's clear it's complex around the board.

as for what country panem is supposed to represent - i mean, i'm obviously coming at this with narrow, western, us-based goggles, and would love to hear other perspectives! but yeah, my answer is... it's complicated? geographically, most of panem is canonically what used to be more north america. but socially, america - and the us in particular - is closer to the capitol than any of the districts. notably, though, i think most of us are far closer to the capitol citizens (who perform wealth and have access to many luxuries but are also exceedingly susceptible to debt) than the wealthy of the capitol, but all the same, i do think the story asks us citizens in particular to take a look at our lives and fill our blind spots. one could argue that it's only the government and ultra wealthy in our country who are meant to represent the capitol and that there are impoverished areas in the us that are just as comparable to the districts as other countries - which i think is fair! the point, in general, is that the book asks us to do that self-reflection, not that it gives us the answers.

[maya-matlin]

Hi! I would love to hear you talk more about Lucas being insecure? I'm not sure I saw him that way, but to be fair I have trouble understanding his character so would love to hear your analysis! You're really brilliant, by the way.

Hi! <3 Aw, you're way too nice! 😊 I'm honestly not. I just have a lot of opinions :p

I see what you mean, because Lucas isn't a character I spend much time analyzing. I feel like he's both misunderstood while also someone that tends to get away with a lot depending on which pairing you like best for him. But in terms of Lucas's insecurities, obviously it all goes back to being abandoned by Dan. Lucas is raised solely by Karen with the help of Keith. It seems like Lucas always knew Keith was his uncle, but not necessarily that he was Dan's brother? According to the pilot, Lucas didn't find out Dan was his biological father until playing in junior leagues. I'm not really sure what age Lucas would have been at the time. I don't know anything about sports, but it seems like this is offered from ages 5-12. I'm going to cautiously assume Lucas and Nathan were around 9-12 at the time. So, Lucas was forced to deal with the fact that Nathan was his brother, meaning his father was willing to raise one son while (as far as he knew) wanting nothing to do with him. This would probably fuck anyone up, but unfortunately Lucas's father was Dan Scott. Dan dealt with his demons, guilt, and complex feelings by lashing out at other people, particularly those weaker than him such as his sons. At a certain point, Dan became aware Lucas knew he was his biological father. Rather than handling any of this delicately or even ignoring Lucas, Dan seemed to double down, going out of his way to make sure Lucas knew he was a mistake, should have never existed, and was inherently lesser than Nathan, his favored son. Any time Dan saw Lucas being successful or even getting along with his brother, Dan did all he could to take that away from Lucas. He repeatedly attempted to undermine Lucas's brotherly bond with Nathan. While both Keith and Karen did what they could to reassure Lucas he was loved and brought them nothing but joy, Dan's constant remarks clearly left Lucas feeling very unsure of himself. Most importantly, unloved and unwanted. This isn't executed especially well considering their nice home, but Lucas and Karen are clearly supposed to be struggling financially at the beginning of the series. There are times when the bills aren't paid in time, meaning Karen is literally forced to wash the shampoo out of her son's hair. Nathan, in contrast, lives the life of luxury with Dan and Deb, never having to worry about money or necessities, knowing his parents will get him whatever he wants. Lucas has no idea that Nathan's life is nothing to envy. Nathan isn't making it known that Dan is a toxic, physically and emotionally abusive parent. Even after Nathan opens up to Lucas in 106, it's clearly still difficult for Lucas to let go of his preconceived notions of Nathan's life. Especially when Nathan has already spent copious amounts of time trying to put Lucas in his place, reminding him that his existence was a mistake and while Dan is successful, Karen is not. Again, debatable since the Lucas/Karen financial strife never comes up after the first season, but the writers were going for a class differences thing in season 1.

I'm sure this is a massively unpopular opinion, but I genuinely think a lot of Lucas's feelings for Peyton early on relate back to the fact she was Nathan's girlfriend. I know. It's a small town, meaning there are only so many people to crush on, but what are the odds? Later seasons establish that Lucas had crushed on Peyton since middle school while Nathan and Peyton had only started dating around their sophomore year. However, so much of the conflict and the Lucas/Peyton connection is wrapped up in how terrible of a boyfriend Nathan is and how Lucas wants Nathan's life. Lucas has this idea that he sees Peyton and understands her in a way Nathan doesn't. Listen, that's not fucking difficult. Nathan treated Peyton as a sex toy for large stretches of their relationship. He was so fixated on himself and his needs that he apparently never noticed all the sketches on her bedroom walls. Most guys would have treated Peyton better than pre-series/early season 1 Nathan. Throughout the first season, Nathan and Lucas are constantly compared to each other. Which one is good? Which one is bad? Which brother has the right to feel more slighted? At the beginning of the series, Lucas is comfortable with the knowledge that while Nathan has the privilege, Lucas is the better man. Only, as the season goes on, we see Nathan going through a tremendous amount of character development while Lucas gives into his worst impulses, becoming a lesser, much more selfish version of himself. Peyton directly calls this out towards the end of the season. "Who knew that you two would switch places?"

Obviously, Lucas didn't intentionally "become Nathan" or a lesser version of himself. It's something that gradually happened once he started making terrible decisions re: his love life. In fact, many OTH fans would say that while Lucas is a great friend, son and brother, he's a terrible romantic partner. Why is that? Unlike Nathan, Lucas had much better influences in Keith and Karen. To me, it all comes back to the "unloved and unwanted" thing. Lucas repeatedly chases down love, desperately craving the validation of a woman's affections because he can't seem to find self love within himself. It all starts with Peyton, Nathan's then-girlfriend who Lucas felt could do so much better. In my opinion, Lucas craves validation specifically from Peyton because of this fantasy of winning her away from his brother. But Peyton has her own feelings and trust issues, so she rejects Lucas. And Lucas is not the greatest at dealing with rejection specifically from Peyton. His ego more so than his heart can't seem to take the rejection. This is complicated because I truly feel like Brucas's bonding in 108 following Peyton's near rape was genuine and kind of a precursor for their season 2 friendship, but at the same time there seemed to be a part of Lucas who wanted to punish Peyton for turning him down. Even after Peyton went to Lucas two episodes later, telling him she wants a real relationship, he chooses to stick with Brooke. It's hard to explain, but it comes across as so petty and unforgiving. It feels like a lot of nice guy bullshit to me. Thankfully, by the time Lucas and Peyton have their affair and hurt Brooke, he seems to be somewhat humbled by the whole experience and is less butthurt over Peyton dumping him. Following Peyton's declaration that Lucas has now taken Nathan's place as the "bad guy," Lucas vows to change his ways.

Season 2 Lucas is off to a much better start. Rather than getting caught up in good vs bad (minus Dan, but that's a massive, other issue) or chasing down romance, Lucas seems to go out of his way to work on himself. To me, the most selfish thing Lucas does in season 2 is probably lie about his HCM results. But in that case, I don't blame him. Lucas is a kid, and at this point in his life he's very attached to basketball. He doesn't want to give that up or deal with the ramifications of having that condition. Otherwise, he's an extremely supportive person, spending a lot of screen time emotionally showing up for Nathan, Brooke, Haley, Karen, Keith, Peyton (although it should be noted he shows up for Brooke far more than Peyton this season), Anna, etc. He doesn't always make the right call. For example, he probably should have told Keith the truth about Jules. The fact Lucas is mainly romance-free means a lot of his more selfish traits don't show up. Back to Lucas's Dan issues. Following Dan's heart attack, he seems to want to make amends with Lucas. Lucas reluctantly allows Dan to be part of life, though not without understandably keeping his guard up. Dan does nothing of substance to be a father figure to Lucas or show true remorse for his behavior for most of Lucas's life. So naturally, Lucas and Dan don't seem to grow much closer aside from in superficial ways. On some level, Dan is using Lucas to get under Nathan's skin. Nathan has successfully gotten away from his parents, choosing to support himself while following his heart by marrying Haley. Dan hates that there's nothing he can do to control Nathan, so he focuses his attention on Lucas. Halfway through the season, it becomes clear that Lucas and Dan are in some bizarre, mental battle where the two repeatedly test each other, doing what they can to manipulate the other. It turns into a whole thing where Lucas is literally searching in the ceiling for a bag of money. I love season 2, but some parts of it weren't my favorite. This was one of them LOL.

During season 2, Lucas realizes he has strong feelings for and wants to be with Brooke instead of Peyton. While the initial reveal of Lucas's feelings and the setup for them could have been better, there's something so genuine about Lucas's love for Brooke in season 2. Lucas seems to acknowledge his feelings to himself with the awareness he can't act on them. After all, Lucas had his chance with Brooke, and he blew it when he cheated with her best friend. Because Lucas keeps his feelings to himself with no expectation for Brooke to reciprocate, his actions and words come across as much more selfless and specifically what Brooke needs from him rather than trying to come across as the good guy. And funnily enough, history is somewhat repeating itself with Brooke, like Peyton in season 1, dating her own asshole in Felix. Lucas has even made an enemy out of Felix, much like Nathan. But unlike with Nathan, Lucas doesn't seem to feel any sort of envy towards Felix. So when Lucas goes to Brooke the night she starts dating Felix, the two things have nothing to do with each other. Of course, Lucas does eventually confess his feelings to Brooke. He also waits an entire summer for her, even though Peyton is physically right there and single.

This has gotten ridiculously long, so I'm going to stop recapping Lucas's entire life and just stick to the relationship/insecurities part LOL

Lucas enters a serious relationship with Brooke in season 3. Yes, one of his biggest desires is still love, but his connection with Brooke still feels very real and related to something he feels in his heart rather than specifically needing validation from dating her. Shit happens. Lucas and Brooke battle Brooke's insecurities for the entirety of season 3. Even though Lucas repeatedly reassures Brooke that he only wants to be with her and that he's all in, Brooke still has doubts about Lucas's past with Peyton. Because sadly, that's exactly where the story is going. Even though Lucas doesn't seem particularly interested in reuniting with Peyton or even entertaining her potential feelings for him (317), the fact Lucas shared a kiss with Peyton during the shooting and Peyton confessed her feelings to Brooke means Brucas 2.0 is doomed. On that note, it somewhat makes sense to me that Lucas finds it easier to confide in Peyton than Brooke at times. Again, he's not the best romantic partner. Part of him struggles to be vulnerable not because he'd rather be with Peyton than Brooke (or Lindsey), but because he just can't go there and has so much stuff to work through in therapy.

Brooke eventually breaks Lucas's heart when she ends their relationship, claiming it's because she stopped missing him. Half of season 4 seems dedicated to tearing down Brooke and showing us how unworthy of Lucas she is compared to Peyton. We get dream sequences that show elderly Peyton at Lucas's grave and heavy handed subtext that LP's love is like Whitey and Camila's, the same way they're later compared to Keith and Karen. Because their love is so epic that unlike Naley, they can't stand on their own and have to be compared to other, better couples. The point is, Peyton is a sure thing. Unlike Brooke who had trust issues specifically because of Lucas's past actions, Peyton has no such baggage in regards to Lucas. While Lucas had come a long way from season 1 Lucas by season 4, part of that little boy who envied his brother's life never went away. And why not? Maybe there was a small part of Lucas that still had feelings for Peyton. Not enough to actually choose her over Brooke, but enough that if Brooke was out of his life for good, he could potentially go back to Peyton. So Lucas conveniently realizes his childhood dream girl, the sure thing, is the one he wants. It helps that college and Lucas's future are looming, meaning he's probably more insecure than usual and finds being with Peyton comforting. They were so close during early 4 that going from friends to boyfriend/girlfriend was probably an effortless jump. Not to mention, Lucas doesn't have to try as hard with Peyton as he did with Brooke. Like, at all. I'd talk about the Lucas/Dan of it all in season 4, but I don't feel like there's enough to analyze. There's an awkward moment where Lucas calls Dan "dad", but it wasn't earned at all. Unlike Dan with Nathan throughout season 4, I don't feel like Dan spent any real time bonding with Lucas or growing close enough to him that I'd buy Lucas would ever in a million years genuinely call him that. Whatever. Dan's a murderer. Lucas nearly kills him. Lucas understandably never forgives Dan. Those insecurities regarding his upbringing remain, but they don't feel as prominent after Dan's incarceration.

Season 5 shows us a Lucas who has massively regressed. This is season 1 Lucas, only worse. You can't blame his teenage naivety or ignorance regarding other people's feelings. In the flashback episode, we see that Lucas is reminded of the day the Ravens won the State Championship when Nathan's team wins their game. Lucas observes Nathan with Haley and Jamie. Obviously, Lucas specifically thinks of Peyton because of the similarities with a team winning their game as confetti falls. But at the same time, Lucas is once again envying Nathan's life. This inspires Lucas to propose to Peyton with little regard to her current life or what she wants. Lucas is first and foremost a romantic who craves love, but his reasoning for popping the question seems to be to fix what he perceives as wrong in their relationship. Lucas and Peyton barely see each other due to living roughly 38 hours apart. At nineteen years old, Peyton isn't an instant success? So Lucas thinks she needs to give up her life and be his wife. Tellingly, Lucas wants Peyton to know that Nathan and Haley were a lot younger than 19 when they got married, so he and Peyton will be fine. Peyton doesn't give Lucas the answer he wants, so he shuts down and grows cold, much like he did back in season 1 where it had to be all or nothing. Not only that, but Lucas pulls a season 1 Lucas and runs straight to Brooke. He spends the night running around town with Brooke, pretending to be an engaged couple. Their night ends with Lucas initiating sex with Brooke, which she rejects. Not long after this, Lucas starts dating Lindsey. Three years later, Peyton returns to town and becomes the sad version of herself where her biggest goal in life is marrying Lucas. But this is about Lucas, so I'll stop. Lucas's motivation in season 5 is intended to be that he's either in denial about his love for Peyton (again?!) or is so devastated by her rejecting his proposal that he's unable to let it go and as a result, feels the need to keep punishing her for it. Somewhere in here, Lucas tears into Peyton for supposedly not believing in his success as a writer. So season 5 unveils a new insecurity of Lucas's. Following the release of his first book, Lucas is afraid he won't be able to write a second. Lucas takes this out on Peyton, accusing her of not believing in him when we know she's one of his staunchest supporters. She supports him to the point she wastes a lot of money buying every physical copy of the book she can find. Lucas can't seem to help but make terrible decisions in his love life, so of course he cheats on Lindsey with Peyton. Lucas never admits to Peyton that he still loves her, just excuses himself, saying he needs to see Lindsey. We don't know what Lucas was going to say to Lindsey, but he proposes after Lindsey promises Lucas that she loves him for him, not because of his profession or success. So clearly, Lindsey's words meant a great deal to him and superseded whatever was going to happen between Lucas and Peyton. Once again, shit happens. Lucas and Lindsey don't get married when she realizes Lucas's new book, The Comet, is actually a love letter to Peyton. Sure, whatever. Following Lucas's breakup with Lindsey, there's some toxicity when he literally assaults a teenager after finding out Lindsey has started dating again. But overall, unlike with Peyton, Lucas is patient, handling her rejection like an adult rather than lashing out. Around this time, Brooke and Lucas seem to grow closer. Everything between them is in the subtext. They're both single in Tree Hill. They find themselves taking care of Angie together. Brooke hasn't loved anyone since Lucas. Lucas wants to be the guy Brooke calls when she needs something, particularly emotional support. But neither one of them ever speaks of (IMO) their mutual feelings. Lucas's subconscious is aware of them, though. Otherwise, Brooke wouldn't be an option when he's fantasizing about possible futures with his three love interests. Oh yeah, and then Lucas tells Peyton he hates her.

[foulbearobservation]

ios seal will definitely be haunting my dreams lmao

anyway 👉👈 spare hitman au? perhaps? (no pressure!!) -🦭

ask and ye shall receive, under the cut cause it's kinda long actually

"You got lucky that the Left Hand did not see fit to deactivate an agent such as yourself." Mother Superion is saying as she leads Lilith down an ever turning number of sterile white hallways.

"I am skillful, not stupid, Mother."

A long silence. "Even so," she says, saying a thousand things with the way she drawls her words, "your new handler awaits." Superion opens the door to reveal what seems to be a dark empty room.

"Has anyone ever told you that this is inhumane? It’s practically cruel and unusual punishment, throwing someone room where they’re the only one’s without night-vision." Lilith sighs, taking the small earpiece from Mother Superion’s outstretched hand.

"Humanity is a luxury that we do not have time for. Good luck, Agent."

Lilith steps into the dark. She doesn’t even bother to open her eyes, it won’t do her much good in the pitch blackness. But she can hear the faint rustle of bodies around her but nobody is moving, not yet. Their handlers have not given them a command either.

"Hello, Agent." A woman's voice, fairly high and faintly accented, speaks in Lilith's ear.

"Skip the pleasantries, I'm locked in a dark room with an unknown number of hostiles. How are you gonna get me out of it?"

There's the telltale sound of a keyboard rapidly typing then, "clock system, yeah?"

Great, Lilith thinks, another nerd. "Just tell me to go low or high."

"12 o'clock, 5 meters, run forward and dodge to the right when you can feel his breath."

Lilith cracks her knuckles. "Sure hope you don't suck at your job."

"I sure hope you don't suck at yours. Start running, agent."

Lilith charges forward, trusting her senses and the voice in her ear. The violence in her job is easy, second nature by now, but trusting the voice in her ear? That’s where she struggles. She knows, she’s seen the red papers in her dossier, she’s been to the psychologist more times than she can count. She trusted Beatrice proved she could be trusted. This new voice is just that, a voice, and Lilith doesn’t do well with change.

She charges forward, dodging to the right when she hears a sharp intake of breath in front of her. She throws a foot out and it seems like she catches the poor sap off guard, sending him tumbling to the floor. She continues forward, because the voice didn’t tell her to stop yet.

“Slow down, you’re entering the obstacle course now. Reach your left hand out, two o’clock.”

“You didn’t have me fight all the hostiles?” Lilith hisses out, but still obediently reaches out her left hand. Almost immediately she feels the cool metal of the climbing bars.

“Why would you waste time fighting in the dark when you could be in and out before anyone knew you were there? Now climb.”

Lilith shuts up and begins to climb.

All told, it goes about as well as it could have. It certainly goes better than the first gauntlet that Lilith ran with Beatrice in her ear.

Lilith emerges from the darkness with her eyes closed. She does not open them until Mother Superion clears her throat loudly.

"Your handler is waiting, agent."

"Not exactly in the business of giving a shit, Mother." Lilith breathes deeply.

[seconds-not-decades]

Step {Back} In Time

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Fem! OC

Author's Note: Hello and welcome. This is my season two fic (and sequel to Time and Chase). I will be posting daily. *Please note that I am well aware that Elliot Page portrays Viktor, but due to season two being before his transition, that is why his character is still Vanya. I am not deadnaming him and I sincerely hope I don't come across as such. I will transition when I write season three.*

Warnings: Slightly long post, cursing, violence, and injuries.

Previous | Next

The Majestic 12

~ * ~

On April the 1st, 2019, the Earth was destroyed in a cataclysmic event.

Billions of people were wiped out in a matter of minutes.

Ironically, the seven survivors of the apocalypse were the very family members who brought it on.

~ * ~

Five and Karina were standing outside Luther's apartment, waiting with the car. Vanya was inside Luther's apartment, tending to his injuries.

"Do you think Vanya will be okay in there?" Karina fiddled with her ring some.

"Yeah, I think they're fine," he nodded, arms crossed over his chest.

Five couldn't be more wrong. Suddenly, Luther punched a giant hole in the wall, causing a bunch of bricks to fall. He death glared down at the two. Five scoffed up at him and grinned in amusement.

"As you were saying?" Karina looked at him before Vanya appeared.

And she definitely didn't look too happy either as Five and Karina went over to her.

"Well, that clearly went well," Five commented. "You ready to go?" he followed her.

"I'm going back to the farm," Vanya spoke.

"Hey. Unacceptable, Vanya!" Five ran to her side. "Remember, we need to stick together."

"Oh, why, so I don't end the world again?" she turned to face him and Karina shot Five a "told you you should have told her" look.

Five whipped to look up at Luther as Vanya got into the car. "Stupid-" Five broke off.

"Were you even gonna tell me?" Vanya questioned.

"You know what? In my defense, no, all right?" Five responded honestly. "And can you blame me? When you…you get angry, shit blows up."

"Great. Are there any other family secrets you failed to mention?" Vanya scoffed before getting in her car.

Five groaned as she shut the door on him. "A boatload, Vanya, which I don't have the luxury of sharing them with the-" he sighed and knocked on the window.

Vanya grudgingly rolled it down.

"The clock is ticking on doomsday. Just tell me that when I need you, you'll be ready," he continued.

"I can't help you, Five," she returned and Five looked almost crestfallen. "I don't even know who I am."

"You're our sister!" he exclaimed as she started the car engine. "And a member of the Umbrella Academy. Like it or not, that's who you are."

"Look, that's who I was, okay?" Vanya looked at him. "New timeline, new me."

"No, that's not how it work-" Five shouted as she drove away and he threw his hands up. He sighed.

"Rounding up your family has been going wondrously splendid, I'd say," Karina rather sarcastically observed.

Five held back an eye roll as he looked up at Luther. Luther stuck up his middle finger at the couple and Five shot him an exasperated look.

"Wonder if it's too late to be un-adopted," Five scoffed, wrapping his arm around Karina's waist and walking away with her by his side.

~ * ~

Five and Karina were back at Elliot's. Karina was helping Lila change Diego's dressing and making sure his wound was healing properly.

"So, what, you just let her go?" Diego questioned.

"Well, Vanya had a lot to process," Five admitted with a sigh, pacing around. "She'll come around. I know she will."

"What about the guys that went after her?"

"The Swedes?"

"Yeah, I mean, how do you know they won't go after her again?" Diego reasoned as Elliot handed out cups of coffee and/or tea.

"We don't," Karina replied.

"Mm, any idea who sent them?" Lila piped up.

"Oh, I have my suspicions," Five's eyes flicked to her briefly. He shot her a sarcastic smile as he picked up a cup of coffee. "But right now, our priority is finding Dad and getting answers, 'cause everything else depends on it."

"Which, for the record, I found him already," Diego remarked.

"And then let him go before we could have a meaningful conversation," Five pointed out as he sat down across from them.

"He stabbed me."

"I'm surprised he waited this long, Diego. We've all had the urge," Five shot back instantly.

Lila laughed and Elliott chuckled.

"Good one," Lila held her hand up to give Five a high five, but he glanced at her suspiciously.

"Good thing I know where Dad's gonna be tonight," he continued, pulling out a piece of paper and handing it to his brother.

Diego sighed as he snatched it. "Where'd you get this?"

"Found it at his office while he was busy stabbing you."

Diego laughed sarcastically and mockingly.

"Hmm," Lila mused.

"'Hoyt Hillenkoetter and the Consulate General of Mexico in Dallas cordially invite you to a gala'," Karina read off.

"Whoa, wait," Elliot spoke up, stunned. "Hoyt Hillenkoetter?" he repeated, causing everyone to look at him. "Are you serious?"

"You know him?" Five questioned as Lila gasped out, "We should go. Says there's gonna be a seafood tower."

"No, Hillenkoetter is…is one of the Majestic Twelve," Elliot corrected.

"The hell is the Majestic Twelve?" Diego frowned.

"What?" Elliot went over to a table and everyone watched him. "It's a…a secret committee. Uh, scientists, military, uh, deep state. No one knows what they really do."

"Wait, so they're government?" Diego grunted as he sat up.

"Shadow government," Elliot corrected him. "Yeah, Kennedy was the first president to try to push 'em into the light, but these guys are not to be trifled with. Oh…" he found a piece of paper. "Oh, here we go. Ah, right here." He went over and laid the paper down on the table for them to see. "This, uh…oh, right here." He pointed to a man in the photo. "That's Hoyt right there."

"Huh," everyone grunted, studying the photograph.

"I only count 11," Karina announced softly.

"Well, that's because they've only identified 11 so far," Elliot returned.

"Who's the twelfth?" Diego wanted to know.

Five looked at him knowingly and the two realized who it was in that moment:

Sir Reginald Hargreeves.

~ * ~

Diego, Lila, Five, and Karina were hiding behind a wall right outside of the rather large, lovely building.

Diego was the first to climb it and the others followed, crouching behind a car.

"So, what's the plan?" Karina softly asked.

"We infiltrate, we identify, we extract. Double time," Diego replied.

"What the hell's he talking about?" Lila glanced back at Five.

"Find the old man and get out fast," he replied simply.

"That's what I said," Diego remarked. "On me." He slipped off to hide behind another car.

"After you two," Lila told Five and Karina. Though Five's eyes narrowed and he was staring her down. "What, I can't be polite?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Cut the crap, all right?" Five rather harshly stated. "My dimwitted brother might buy your bullshit, but I don't trust you for a second."

"O ye of little faith."

"Stick it up your ass."

"Any chance we can proceed to get inside before something or someone accidentally blows our cover somehow?" Karina cut through the rising tension.

Five was fake smiling at Lila, daring her to make a move. Lila scoffed and ducked to join Diego.

Karina started to go first.

"What-wait!" Five grabbed her wrist.

"I know you don't trust Lila and nor do I, but you need to remember to be a little more civilized before you get into close proximity with her again," Karina eyed him.

"Rina, I'm telling, something's not adding up about her. She gives me a bad feeling."

"As do I. But right now, we have to put aside those feelings and find Sir Reginald."

"Fine."

Karina gave him a smile and a kiss on the cheek before the two joined Diego and Lila. Soon the four ducked and ran inside the place.

The party seemed to be in full swing. Slow mariachi music played in the background and there was an overlapping chatter in the air. The four went inside and immediately Five slid off two flutes of champagne from the server, handing one to Karina. They followed Diego and Lila, looking around at the dressed up crowds.

They paused in an uncrowded part of the hallway.

"I don't see Dad anywhere," Diego announced.

"Just keep an eye out for the Majestic Twelve," Five tucked Karina's hand into his elbow rather formally and politely. "We got the upstairs. Diego, try not to do anything too stupid."

Lila chuckled as Five led Karina off and the two snuck off upstairs.

"Do you think this is a good idea?" she asked him quietly as they journeyed up to the second floor.

"No. But we don't have much other choice," Five sighed.

"I have a bad feeling about this. It feels like something's wrong."

He paused and glanced at Karina in concern. "Are you okay? Your face is paler than normal."

"I'm fine. Probably just the heat and this dress," she laughed it off, glancing down at her knee length purple dress.

Though she liked it, heat or not. Five surprised her with it and she didn't know where he got it. More or less how.

"You look lovely, darling," he smiled and kissed her cheek. "The pearls make for a good addition."

Karina blushed but stiffened when footsteps approached down the hall. Instantly, Five blinked the two into a random room near them. A group of well dressed, older men filed by and disappeared into a meeting room not far from where the two were hiding. Once they were all gone, the two quietly snuck out of the room and Five shut the door. He glanced at her and blinked them out of the hall.

They reappeared in a closet in the room where the men were gathered. Five made his way towards the door, peeking through the blinds. Karina was pressed against his side.

"The president is continuing to make inquiries into Roswell and the other crash sites, gentlemen," a man informed. "And, as you know, we cannot allow him to get his nose into our business. I've confirmed the motorcade will indeed be turning left on Elm Street. We'll have our people in place."

"Gentlemen, this plan of yours seems ill-timed," Sir Reginald himself spoke.

"It's going to be a turkey shoot," another man remarked.

A soft clatter in the distance made Sir Reginald's head whip around in the direction of the noise.

"Dad?" Five whispered, his grip around Karina's waist tightening ever so slightly.

"Shhh," Sir Reginald hushed the others, slowly getting up. He got an object near the fireplace and headed over to the closet.

Five watched him closely as Karina subtly tapped the back of his hand. He quickly blinked them out just before Reginald started stabbing at the door.

They reappeared in the hall of the second floor, exhaling sharply. Five turned and saw Otto standing there.

"Shit!" he drew out as Otto grabbed Five and slammed him against the wall. Five grunted and blinked out before he was ran into the other wall.

Five blinked and then reappeared behind him. Karina punched him as Five kicked him in the back of his leg, sending him to his knees. Five jumped on his back and tried to strangle him. The brother ended up flipping Five over him, making him land on Karina as they cried out in pain.

"Goddamnit!" Karina yelped.

Five blinked off of her. Karina kicked Otto and rolled out of the way before she got punched. Five reappeared again behind them as she ran to his side. He tried to blink them out, but only faint orbs of blue sputtered from his fists.

"Oh, shit," Five drew out before he got punched.

Karina ducked and tried to block one, but Otto grabbed her and slammed her into the wall.

"Rina!" Five yelled before Otto punched him again.

Karina groaned in pain, clutching her head as she stumbled to her feet. Diego came upstairs at that moment and saw Otto alternating between beating up the couple.

"Five! Karina!" he gasped before Oscar tried to strangle him. Axel took on beating up Diego.

Karina barely got to her feet before she leapt onto Otto's back, wrapping her arm around his throat tightly to give Five a break.

"Come on!" she grunted as he ended up jumping and landing on his back, crushing her beneath him.

She screamed out in pain when she banged her head on the floor so hard she could have sworn she saw stars. In a dizzy spell, she tried to get to her feet but Otto kicked her in the face and knocked her back down.

"Rina, hold on, love!" Five yanked Otto away from her and Otto whipped around to punch him.

Lila got upstairs to see the chaos. Diego was still getting beat up by Axel and Oscar while Otto punched Five in the stomach, knocking him into the wall. Karina slipped her heel off and hit Otto with it. He stumbled back before she kicked him across the face but he caught her leg, sweeping out beneath her and making her fall. Before she could react, he kicked her in the ribs.

"Lila! Help me!" Diego choked out when he saw her. "Lila! Help…" he was desperately gazing at her.

Lila's eyes flicked to Five and she grabbed one of his knives sticking out of the wardrobe, taking off to rescue him and Karina. Diego groaned when he got punched in the face. Lila leapt off the wall and grabbed the chandelier, wrapping her legs around Otto and trying to suffocate him. Five fell to his knees, watching her as he shakily helped Karina sit up, though she was gasping for air. Otto ended up flipping Lila off of him and she rolled out of it, looking up at Five.

"You're welcome," she remarked.

Five's eyes widened as he saw Otto stumble to his feet and he ran to him, knocking him out the window. Lila went over to gently help Karina stand up.

"You don't look too hot there," Lila noticed the bloody cuts.

Karina waved it off, clutching her side. "It could be worse," she wheezed out.

Five looked out the window to see Sir Reginald with Grace below. He looked at Karina apologetically, taking him with her as they blinked out.

They reappeared behind the side of the building and Karina ended up turning away from Five and throwing up, bracing the wall for support.

"Rina! Shit, Rina, oh my God, darling, are you okay?" Five steadied her.

"Ask me that again tomorrow," she faintly whispered, swallowing hard. "Five, Reginald…" she pointed to him about to get into his car. "Go…" she sank to the ground, trying to make the world stop spinning.

Five smoothed some hair out of her face and kissed her forehead hastily. He raced out as Sir Reginald was about to get in his car and he started yelling to him in Ancient Greek. Reginald turned to face him as he continued, desperately trying to get him to come over.

Without so much a response or an acknowledgement, Reginald got into his car and it whisked him away. Five watched him go as Karina weakly joined his side.

"Five?" she glanced at him as Diego and Lila raced over to them.

"Was that him?" Diego asked.

"Yeah," Five brought Karina to his side, supporting her as she leaned into him.

All four took a collective breath.

~ * ~

[queenofhearts7378]

I posted 6,765 times in 2022

58 posts created (1%)

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Blogs I reblogged the most:

@i-am-thornqueen

@heartclover

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I tagged 678 of my posts in 2022

#irrelevant queen talking - 54 posts

#danny phantom - 31 posts

#ask thy queen - 18 posts

#queen will write - 15 posts

#danny fenton - 14 posts

#constellations - 13 posts

#dp twin au - 12 posts

#draco malfoy - 11 posts

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#tuesday streaming - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i have 9 pillows and 3 blankets and 2 baskets of laundry and my laptop and purse and a stack of book and i still have room to sprawl asleep

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Constellations Ch. 5

Prev. Chapter - Next Chapter - First Chapter

Chapter Titles include: *Captain America PSA voice* So you've witnessed your first ghost attack, Baby's first battle, What literally everyone has been waiting for, Guess Who? Ghost Edition, and Sam Judo flips Draco. Buckle in this is a long one folks.

(Notes: Just a reminder that Danny spent a whole summer with the Malfoy’s before GoF. As such, I didn't think it felt right if all of Draco’s interactions in the book were exactly the same. So there were definitely some changes through the year, including him not being as big of a jerk.

Danny made him think about things.

….He was still a jerk though.)

..........

A week after Danny left Malfoy Manor, Draco’s parents took him to the Quidditch World Cup. 

It was thrilling, as it always was. His father had made sure they had top box seats, as the Minister's personal guests even, with a sizable donation to St. Mungo's.

But all Draco could think of was that it would be a lot more fun if Danny had been with him.

He could have talked to Danny about the tactics and strategies they were using in the game. About the differences between school and professional games.

Danny probably would have laughed at the mascots brought out and told him another wild story from his hometown.

He hadn't even noticed Potter and his friends till the minister was showing him off like a prized owl. Draco rolled his eyes and ignored them.

Maybe it was better Danny hadn't come. He'd be insisting to meet Draco's "arch enemy". He found Draco’s hatred of the Gryffindors comical.

The match and the whole trip back to the luxury temporary house his parents had commissioned weeks before, were nothing but a whirlwind Draco didn't quite remember. It had been a relief to escape into the charmed house, where none of the partying outside could be heard.

The next thing Draco knew, his mother was pulling him out of bed.

"Get up Draco." She ordered. "Dress quickly and follow me."

His mother was waiting by the door by the time he made it down the stairs. It was only opened an inch, but Draco could hear the screams and spell fire coming from outside.

His mother looked at him, her hand on the door. "I'm going to get Lucius. Wait for us just inside the tree line."

Draco felt like a rock had suddenly dropped in his stomach. "Where's Father?"

"Don't worry about that," she said softly. She leaned forward to cup his face. "Wait for us, and stay out of the way."

And Draco did as she asked. He followed the crowd, till he made it to the forest. From there he wandered just in the tree line till he found a hidden clearing with a view to the camp grounds.

His back hit a tree and he grabbed his elbows, slowly sliding to the forest floor, for once not caring about the leaves and dirt that would get all over his expensive robes. All he could think about was "What if Danny had come with?"

He wasn't stupid, he knew what was happening as he saw flashes of red and green and a family of muggles spinning above pointed wands. He knew exactly who was out there. A dark head flopped forward and Draco felt his stomach twist into knots.

That could have been his brother.

There was a part of Draco that always….knew this was how muggles and squib were treated by some wixen. It was a mindset he had always known, this is how muggles were supposed to be treated. It was what he was raised on.

And Danny….Danny was such a muggle. He never hid his upbringing, always going on about the things he did and how different it was in the wizarding world. He gladly called himself a squib, a defiant look in his eyes as if he was taking the almost slur and reclaiming it as something to be proud of.

That could've been Danny. But he's safe.

He's safe.

For the first time in his life, Draco hated being a pureblood.

See the full post

50 notes - Posted November 3, 2022

#4

Look what I'm working ;)

....

"Sam, what are you planning?" Danny leaned over her shoulder to see what she was writing. "Oh….I don't see how any of that will help."

"What are you planning to force on me?" Draco asked.

Sam smirked at him and started counting on her fingers, "The Craft, Blair Witch Project, Hocus Pocus-"

"One of those is not like the other Sam." Tucker said.

"Hush. Hansel and Gretel-"

"Maybe not that one!" Danny hissed.

Tucker snorted, "Isn't that the one with the guy that plays Hawkeye? Also the one that-"

"Yes," Danny interrupted, shoving his hand in Tucker's face, "What about Lord of the Rings? Mary Poppins, Nanny McPhee, Narnia?"

"Sleepy Hollow, Elvira, The Crucible." Sam continued.

Danny paused, "Maybe The Crucible, if only because it's on the study guide. He's staying for the entire summer, I'd rather not traumatize him. Please. I am begging you."

She looked at him flatly, "Then beg."

53 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#3

Broke: Isabela Madrigal is lesbian and that's why she doesn't want to marry

Woke: Isabela Madrigal is asexual and she's not interested in marriage at all

Bespoke: Isabela Madrigal is an asexual lesbian in the way that she thinks girls are pretty but keeps getting distracted by carnivorous plants, throwing cacti around, and dyeing her hair and dress different colors

128 notes - Posted January 19, 2022

#2

People always make like....Dan or some eldircth being or Vlad the opposition when writing King Danny but yall are sleeping on a great potential villain:

Walker

132 notes - Posted March 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Constellations Ch. 4

[Alternatively titled: Draco's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

And, I just want to say, I love you guys :^) ]

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Homeroom/English Literature

Wes came back with a scowl and refused to look in Danny or Draco's direction. Danny considered that a win for today. Mr. Lancer considered phoning Walter Weston about taking Wes out of school for the day.

"Semester tests are in two weeks," Mr. Lancer said, "The tests will take place on the last few days of school, and are optional for students that meet the proper requirements. For those of you who didn't quite make the grade, or didn't make it to class, " He shot a pointed look to Danny, "You will have to take them. I'll pass out the study guide, and we will spend this week going over it and reviewing the test material. For those of you opting out of the test, consider this a free period so long as you remain quiet and unobtrusive to those studying."

He started passing out the thick sheets of paper. Dash groaned when he got his, "Mr. Lancer this is, like, 50 pages long!"

"Front and back." Valerie muttered, flicking through the pages.

"It's only twelve pages, but if you don't think it's enough-"

He was immediately met with protests from around the room, insisting 'No, it's fine! We don't need anymore!'. He smirked.

Handing a packet to Danny's recent tag-a-long, he said, "Even though you won't be taking any tests, perhaps you could help Mr. Fenton study his. It would at least give you something to do in class."

Draco took the plain sheets of paper with furrowed brows and Mr. Lancer continued down the aisle. Quickly scanning over the paper, he leaned over and asked, "Danny what is 'Shakespeare'?"

Danny stared at him. He turned to Sam, "You are helping me study."

Mr. Lancer finished passing out the papers, and proceeded up front to go over them. Half the class was playing on their phones underneath their desks. (Or in Paulina's case, just holding it up in front of her face.)

The other half was at least attempting to take notes. Wes muttered furiously under his breath and Valerie was viciously scribbling down everything she could. Tucker jotted down schematic notes between questions as he thought about different improvements he could make to his tech and the Fenton's. Sam was reading something covered in black leather and dust underneath the table. Danny started out taking notes but then got distracted trying to explain….pretty much everything on the study guide to Draco.

Tucker leaned over, "Do you guys not have English Lit where you're from?"

Draco gave him a scathing look. "We have practical classes, on subjects we use in our daily lives. Why on Earth would you need to know-" he squinted at the paper, "'Who seems less impulsive and more realistic- Romeo or Juliet?' What use is that?"

Sam made a hm noise and pulled out a paper.

"Sam, what are you planning?" Danny leaned over her shoulder to see what she was writing. "Oh….I don't see how any of that will help."

"What are you planning to force on me?" Draco asked.

Sam smirked at him and started counting on her fingers, "The Craft, Blair Witch Project, Hocus Pocus-"

"One of those is not like the other Sam." Tucker said.

"Hush. Hansel and Gretel-"

"Maybe not that one!" Danny hissed.

Tucker snorted, "Isn't that the one with the guy that plays Hawkeye? Also the one that-"

"Yes," Danny interrupted, shoving his hand in Tucker's face, "What about Lord of the Rings? Mary Poppins, Nanny McPhee, Narnia?"

"Sleepy Hollow, Elvira, The Crucible." Sam continued.

Danny paused, "Maybe The Crucible, if only because it's on the study guide. He's staying for the entire summer, I'd rather not traumatize him. Please. I am begging you."

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139 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[haldenlith]

2023 Tumblr Top 10 (with commentary)

(This was apparently the year of Astarion... If only most of my art could get this many pings. 😢)

1. 164 notes - Sep 19 2023 I've probably talked about this before, but I'll say it again: The banter between Astarion and Gale about "oh never felt the...

I still periodically get activity on this post. People have had opinions on it, it seems, which have been interesting to read. I've seen people say that Ilmater and Elistraee both would've helped him, and saying my take was kinda BS, to which I counter, again -- vampire. Faerun gods don't seem to be particularly fond of undead (also Astarion wasn't exactly a good person before getting turned, soooo...). (Also-also, Eli girl was dead for a chunk of Astarion's time under Cazador, so not much she could do anyway while trying to reform herself. Eli - 0 Lloth - 1)

Still, it's been fun to see people's thoughts, even if they differ from mine. Another testament to the interesting writing in BG3, that even a brief bit of banter can spin up a bit of thoughts and discussion.

2. 52 notes - Oct 6 2023 Rambling a moment in response to something someone thought of on another post (and I don't want to piggyback on their post), but...

An art post in my top 10? Shock! And it not be normal sexy Astarion, but weird headcanon AU Astarion? There's a trend here, considering the last time I had art do any form of numbers, it was my cyberpunk-ish Astarion. I keep trying to draw and write more Witcher-AU stuff, but it requires more spoons than my brain has available. Until then, you get beastie batty Astarion, who, rest assured, is still a gremlin. Worse, arguably, since he has the ability to go invisible...

4. 26 notes - Sep 10 2023 Family Ties

I still maintain the headcanon that the Ancunin Family are probably shitty people. I know people want to imagine they're this poor nice noble family of high elves who are just so sad about their son but... let's be honest. You don't get an ass like Astarion from a sweet and nice upbringing, especially not from a noble family.

5. 22 notes - Nov 9 2023 KAYN CAN GET STUCK IN SHIT?! ... That is fucking hilarious and exactly what that gremlin deserves.

... I don't get why this got as many notes as it has, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Kayn deserves what he got and found it hilarious. (I love seeing dumb gremlins get bullied by comedic circumstance.)

6. 22 notes - Jul 13 2023

Knowing what we know now about Astarion, I'm less into bullying him in a sexual sense. Still was an interesting little thought, though. Could be interesting to explore if he wanted, in his journey to reclaim his sexuality and such.

7. 22 notes - Jul 13 2023 My brain has, like everyone else, been going "brrr" on the mention of a "heartwrenching ending" that was mentioned for "one of...

Twenty-two is the magic number, apparently. Anyway... hmm... I'll refrain from further commentary, since, well, spoilers.

8. 19 notes - Aug 25 2023 Not only did I get the game working, but I managed to get my saves to work, and I went down and kicked Cazador's fucking ass....

A very spoiler post for BG3. I will say that, in the future, I may wait a tic on really playing future games on release, even if I've purchased them. Even with Early Access and all the work they did to catch bugs, BG3 was still a bit of a mess for me. I can ignore most little bugs, but Save-breaking bugs... Those get to me. I'm glad it all got worked out.

9. 17 notes - Sep 4 2023 Why must we constantly headcanon living-Astarion not having white hair? He's an elf! Elves can have lovely, luxurious white...

*shrug* I still don't get this headcanon people have. I get the idea of stress-induced-hair color change, but... eh. The logic doesn't logic for me.

10. 13 notes - Oct 12 2023 Just random musing. Genuinely not calling anyone out or anything, but I find it... interesting? Yeah, we'll go with interesting....

I still see it when I poke around Astarion/whoever fandom, and still feel it's incredibly suspicious and telling that people can't seem to separate BDSM/kink from "being evil". At least that's how it looks to me. I know, I know, it's fantasy and people find being evil and kinky hot, but still... the prevalence of kinky Ascendstarion vs not-kinky Spawnstarion makes me scratch my chin in thought. Then again, I could ramble forever about how this is probably an interesting reflection of society's views on BDSM and whatever.

Part of me wants to write that thought-exercise-analysis essay, but from the bits of Ascendstarion vs Spawnstarion discourse I've seen, I think I'd rather not even graze nor get near that hornet's nest... Oof.

Created by TumblrTop10

[appletreeduty]

Tagged by @dragonsoftheeast! Thank you for thinking of me!

How many works do you have on AO3?

4, but more on the way!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

17,043

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only HOTD so far! I have a bunch of unfinished Black Sails, Yellowjackets, Good Omens, OFMD, etc, though....

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

first two are tied: splendor in the grass, you are the angel that I couldn't kill then it's seasons don't fear the reaper, then farewell, my mortal son

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to almost all comments, because seeing people read my work and responding enough to it encourages me to continue writing out the stories in my head, to continue actually finishing them, to continue posting. I'm a pretty small creator so I have the luxury to respond to basically every single comment right now since I don't get many, and I want those who read my fics to know that seeing their comments makes my day!!!!!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This one's a tough one. Anyone who knows me knows I'm pretty much incapable of writing a happy ending - even the happiest endings I write are bittersweet. I think my angstiest based on just how heartwrenching (with not even half of a bright side, not even a slice of the smallest most cynical comfort) is "farewell, my mortal son", in which faerie AU Alicent Hightower has to give up her favorite, only pure son Daeron as a changeling and is powerless to protect him against what his life is about to become despite how hard she fights.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, a tough one since I am just the worst at happy endings, but probably "seasons don't fear the reaper", where Helaena is able to reunite with a dead Aemond in death (even though she dies)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Honestly. I'm not a big enough writer to get public outrage, I don't think. However I'm sure there are people who have read my fics and have left with a sour taste in their mouth. I write about pretty nasty stuff, I write in the POV of quite deranged characters, and I do not tread lightly or mince words when I do so.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Pretty much every single one of my fics is smut. The dove is not just dead, it's decomposed; read the tags please.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I haven't written one, but I'm sure I might sometime in the future.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Honestly, not sure. If it had been, nobody has informed me and I have not seen it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I would love for someone to enjoy my fics enough to translate them to other languages!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Was in the process of cowriting a fic, but separated from the other writer for personal reasons. Still wishing it could've been completely cowritten, since the AU I created is such a big universe!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Too many to count! I am admittedly a ship-jumper

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

"under the blackthorn tree" - it's a HOTD canonverse epic fic and I have the whole outline and a lot of chapters written but it's so perfect in my head that I get discouraged every time I write something out and it's not how I pictured it would go.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I have a sick writing style/voice (I work really hard on it) and I think I'm really good at portraying character voice in POV. I also am good at finding just the thing to really stab the reader in the guts in terms of drama/angst.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

It takes me 847589347589374895734 years to write anything because I overthink and then procrastinate overthinking and then overthink more. I really struggle to write the quiet, conflict-free moments that are necessary to properly pace my stories, though I recognize that they're needed, which makes it worse when I struggle to write them.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Dialogue in another language for a fic is cool, but I think it's important to keep the medium in mind. On film, you can have entire scenes where characters are speaking a different language and just put subtitles so the audience can understand what they're saying; this is frustrating when the concept is translated directly to fic, because as a reader I feel like I'm skipping over entire paragraphs just to read the meaning and am not appreciating the purpose of the characters speaking a different language. In the case of the purpose being for a POV character to not understand the language, then they surely wouldn't be able to understand all the separate words, so it's more effective to just write that the character does not understand the language. Personally, I like to use short phrases that require no translation due to context, and that's personally my favorite use of a second language in fic.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

................. It was an All-American Rejects bandfic on Mibba/Quizilla/whichever one of those early-2000s quiz sites. I was 10 please don't judge lmao

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Tie between splendor in the grass and seasons don't fear the reaper right now!

No pressure tags: @catnico @spooky-risley @cinemassance