#i'm still sorting out my likes so Tumblr posts
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made it to 1k posts in my queue.
#oh wow#i did it lol#there's a lot of older stuff and a ton of buck stuff coming your way#i'm still sorting out my likes so
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I see a lot of people in the Mouthwashing tag frequently listing 'keeping Curly alive' in the list of crimes Jimmy has done, implying or sometimes outright saying that not mercy-killing Curly was a cruel and unusual act...and would like to caution against that.
There's a long history of abled people deciding someone's quality of life is too horrible to merit letting them live (usually to nonverbal or otherwise 'low functioning' people lacking a clear means to communicate) and condoning the murder of disabled people under the guise of kindness. Curly is an extreme example, and one could argue he might prefer to be 'put out of his misery,' but it's important to note that we don't know, no one asks, and there's no attempt to communicate either which way.
How extreme pain and 'low quality of life' are handled are very nuanced and complicated topics, but you can never decide for someone else what kind of life isn't 'worth living.' Curly is obviously a videogame character, but these attitudes can and do affect the lives of real people & are worth being aware of.
#I say this as a disabled person who has heard ''I could never live if [condition] happened to me'' and claims my life was over#and all sorts of shit that made me think everyone would jump at the chance to put me down like a sick dog#just hits close to home so wanted to type a gentle word of caution#there's also a lot to be said about the history of disability rights and how DNRs have been used to purge us in hospitals#but i won't get into all of that for a fandom post#idk if i wrote this out well bc I'm trying not to get too In My Feelings about it but. yea#sometimes people deal with exceuciating pain & disability but would still very much like to live thank you#Mouthwashing
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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the constant inner struggle of a Na'vi speaker/teacher browsing Na'vi OCs
#(spongebob rainbow meme) autism#if i've ever reblogged your post to correct your na'vi grammar/OC name i promise promise promise i wasn't doing it to be rude#or as any sort of personal attack or criticism#the na'vi language is just a special interest of mine and i really love sharing information about it and helping people who are new to it!!#but also yes i acknowledge that at the end of the day it doesn't *really* matter if tumblruser29's na'vi oc has an “invalid” name#as long as they're happy with it#but boy howdy does the infodump side of me still want to fix it#...yeah this is why i very seldom reblog other people's OCs even if I really like the concept/design/art 😅#because i know i won't be able to resist fixing the names#and i'm aware that most people will probably find that more annoying than helpful#i'm more likely to bite the bullet and do it anyways with grammar mistakes#because with OC names a lot of the time there's a good chance the person isn't actually interested in learning the language#they simply want a cool name for their character#but if someone's trying to string together full phrases/sentences I assume they have at least some interest in actually learning#so I want to step in and help out#but...yeah#lì'fya leNa'vi#na'vi oc#my art#comic
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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Max streaming with Team Redline on twitch | 12 December 2023
#max verstappen#team redline#myf1gifs#twitch#mv twitch#i need to sort out my laptop i feel like it needs a winter break too#everything is SO slow i'm losing my mind#anyway! look at this cutie!!!!#rather pixelated here but still a cutie#winter break
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so in your mermaid au what is belos? is he also a merman
he wears this
#JOKE#serious answer tho i imagine he..... modified himself somehow? his body? so it'd look like he has a tail#similarly to how he cut the tips of his ears off in canon. but in this au he somehow magically grew scales/fins etc#i can imagine that it looks believeable enough that ppl Believe it. like it's real. but Not Quite Right anatomically#because you know how mermaid tails are usually extension of the spine so they bend freely? i could see belos' tail having a clear knee bend#since he still has legs under there. sort of#i could also imagine him being able to change between forms. growing legs/losing fins etc.. like h20 just add water but gore-y and bloody#but ! i'm still figuring stuff out. mayhaps there'll be a more clear answer if i decide to draw more for this au.........#(i DID have a belos sketch for this but it was so goofy i could NOT continue it)#nicole answers#my toh talk#my aus#Anonymous
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my favorite scully and mulder moments from s1
the evergreen classic mulder reaction to a terrified scully knocking at his door in the very first episode- how he checks over her, holds her close, and brings her into his room
(and then ANOTHER instance of examining each other for aliens in episode 8 which was wild. if i had a nickel for each time they had to look at each other's bodies for evidence of aliens, i'd only have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but its weird that it happened twice)
him playing with scully's necklace in episode 3, while admitting he feels "territorial"
the first time he calls scully "dana", right after her father dies- which surprises her so much she mumbles her name back to herself- and he follows up by grabbing her face and gently running his finger over her cheek
(and the first time she tries to call him "fox", after he had been awake for 3 straight days on a stakeout, and she begs him to go home- he laughs and says he even made his parents call him mulder)
((still, she brought him a sandwich and a drink- “if there’s an iced tea in that bag, could be love” “must be fate- root beer”))
scully in Doctor Mode™ after mulder got stuck in the fire in episode 12, trying to give him water as he lays in bed, while he gets all emo and pushes her hand away
when scully gets kidnapped in episode 15 and mulder calls her "dana" again over the phone, her first name slipping out in his fear, then he tells the kidnapper "listen to me, you lay one hand on scully, and so help me god..."
(and THEN he tells everyone going on her rescue mission that this is a very important mission to him, so please everybody do their best)
the endless banter: "i still don't get it. what does this have to do with us?" "robbing a jewelry store is a federal crime" (flatly) "thank you."
when he is at an autopsy with scully in episode 18 and makes it very clear he does Not Want To Be There (but she still is sad he won't join her on her next one in episode 22!)
"happy birthday scully!" (pause of confusion) "you're two months early!"
when she finally listened to the psychic to get evidence for a case in episode 13, trying to make mulder proud- "i'd thought you'd be pleased i'd opened myself to extreme possibilities"- only for him to yell at her for putting herself in danger
(later in the same episode she screamed at the criminal, saying that if he did anything to mulder, she'd kill him herself)
((AND their conversation at the end of that episode when mulder is laying in a hospital bed: "why can't you believe?" "i'm afraid"))
the very empire strikes back coded fighting in the arctic compound in episode 8
"you think it's remotely plausible that someone might think you're hot?" (stunned silence. scholars are still trying to figure out what was going on here)
oh, this one made me weepy: "i have never met anyone so passionate and dedicated to a belief as you. it's so intense, sometimes it's blinding. but there are others who are watching you, who know what i know, and whereas i can respect and admire your passion, they will use it against you. mulder, the truth is out there, but so are lies" aka the episode 17 monologue… what if i melted into a puddle? how would you react to this news? how about mulder the protector turning into mulder the protected?
(also, episode 17 had a moment where he grabbed her shoulder and leaned in and i had to restrain myself)
them having hand signals to indicate watch what you say, we’re being listened to
in episode 18, the preacher’s kid tries to taunt mulder with information about his sister and scully tries to shut him down Immediately
they’re looking for each other in the dark in episode 19 while a wild beast is on the loose and mulder finally kicks open the door and finds scully while she whispers “it’s okay, it’s me, it’s okay”
episode 20, when he shows her a bunch of lumberjacks, which he describes as “rugged manly men in the full bloom of their manhood” and he says she should look for anything unusual or a boyfriend among them... and she laughs
scully losing her mind when the evil cocoon bugs get on her, screaming at mulder to get them off of her, while he holds her still and explains it’s okay as long as they're in the light
(and then they sit on the bed, side by side, talking through the night)
when mulder’s friend dies and she kneels and says to him, “you’ve been through a lot… more than I think you realize” and encourages him to take some time for himself
any episode where they both wear big coats (for the snow in episode 8, or the rain in 20) is an instant classic to me
“mulder, you’re rushing me out of the room… is there a girl coming over?” from episode 11... yeah I laughed. and then laughed even more when he was just hanging out with deep throat in the next scene!
episode 23’s “how was the wedding? Did you catch the bouquet?” “maaaaybe 😊”
and who can forget the finale! she apologizes for doubting his alien leads; “I should know by now to trust your instincts” “why? no one else does” (both smile and i, once again, collapse)
there's so much to unpack here and i could spend a lifetime doing it, but before i watch s2 for the first time i needed to make note of the things that especially made me happy or brought great angst to the forefront; i am studying their dynamic and putting it in a bottle <3
#shoutout to the user who reblogged one of my posts with “no spoilers this is a new viewer!”#thank you it was so sweet i genuinely almost cried... not joking!#the pain from the surgery is making me emotional about Them and the human experience of kindness to strangers#but yeah still haven't seen anything beyond s1 yet so! keep that in mind#i'm gonna make a “best of s1” for them individually too#for the folks who are rewatching and want to see what sticks out to new eyes or those who are at similar points!#or maybe i just like to make a good list and sort things for fun... truly can you blame a girl?#sidenote: what is their ship name? is there an official one? does one go before the other? need to know the lore#anyway!#the x files#txf#fox mulder#dana scully
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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The Husbands of River Song is not and has never been about the Eleventh Doctor being a deadbeat, distant husband (gross mischaracterization by the way) and the Twelfth Doctor being the "better, more mature, affectionate" husband.
It was about River Song. It was about River and how the events in Manhattan took such a toll on her. It was about letting us see River dealing with grief the way The Snowmen showed us how the Doctor coped after losing believing he had used up all his time with River.
Looking at THORS now with The Ruby's Curse in mind, I get the instinct (for lack of a word that I cannot remember) that the Manhattan incident Blue Roach read from River's diary was not the Manhattan episode that we saw in series 7.
On that note, I'd also like to bring up the fact that the Doctor grounds River and River grounds the Doctor. As Tree talked about in one of her tags, River's empathy is more cognitive than emotional and after musing on it for a bit – considering that the Doctor can no longer go to Manhattan (which may have changed in later series but I wouldn't know at the moment because I have yet to overcome series 7b) and that River does spend time with her parents in Manhattan post-TATM, would the latest Manhattan incident in River's diary be the funeral for Amy? Amy's death? Perhaps even Anthony's? I mean, we already know Rory died five years earlier than Amy. So, knowing how deep River's love for her mother is, it's not too farfetched to say that River spent that time with them. River was by their bedsides as they drew their last breath.
Then Rory's gone, Amy's gone, Anthony's gone. Where does that leave River? Where is the Doctor? (sulking on a cloud on top of Victorian London? trying to figure out the mystery of his newest companion? all while constantly mentioning a certain Professor Song who actually turns out to be his dearly sort of departed absolutely beloved wife?)
Without her parents (and her husband) to ground her, she goes on this maddened, grieving space Robin Hood spree. She seeks fun to fill in the void and takes up marriage as a hobby/side quest. Does she look for the Doctor? Perhaps. Yes, actually. Considering she crashed her latest sort-of-husband's ship onto a planet where she purported the TARDIS to be.
But... she's stealing the TARDIS. She could have just called the Doctor, yeah? So, she doesn't want the Doctor to know then. Well... yeah, considering she has two sort-of-husbands in hand.
So, River would just have gone on from one space Robin Hood spree to the next had the TARDIS not sort-of-stranded herself on Mendorax Dellora to make sure her Water stopped being stubborn and reconcile(?) with her Thief?
Also taking note of how River has read stories about them and knows that Darillium is purported to be their last night together (I could also bring up the fact that this is why I find it easy to digest the "River meeting regenerations of the Doctor younger than the Tenth Doctor makes sense and doesn't break cannon nor ruin SITL/FOTD" but that would take a whole other post). Does this River believe her time with the Eleventh Doctor has ended? The same way series 7b Eleven believed his time with older versions of River has ended? Is this all part of some grand fuckup in communication all thanks to their tangled timelines?
Maybe. Maybe not.
But has River not just been running from her family's death? Has River been running from her supposed last night with the Doctor?
"But River doesn't run." Oh yes. Yes, she does. She knows when to stand her ground. She knows when to charge. And she knows when to run.
"That's out of character for her." No, it's not. She's not invincible. She's this well trained assassin, yes. But invincible? No.
Invincible from the tendency to be blinded by their emotions? Obviously not.
River lies. And River runs.
She is not afraid of her death. She is afraid of the day when her husband, her Doctor, looks into her eyes and looks right through her. And it shouldn't kill her but it does. It did.
So she ran and ran until her bigger-on-the-inside Mum gently reached out and put her back together with the only person left who could ground her. Who she didn't recognize at first but still fell in love with (and would have loved even if he hadn't been revealed to be her actual, long missing husband). Who finally found out their last night wasn't just any night – it was a twenty-four year long last night. Who finally gave her a breather from all the running she'd been doing.
And oh what a night that was (it was the talk of the universe).
#tia talks tish#dw musings#i should be studying but look! i'm yapping away about fictional characters that nobody in my (offline) life knows about#and to whoever wants to yap accordingly or in the opposite manner please be kind to my remaining brain cell i'm just trying to make sense of#my own brain 👍🏻#laying all this out made me feel like that one meme with the guy about to burst his vein trying to explain the wall of stuff behind him#does all this make sense? most likely not. i refuse to reread it because it would just end up in the drafts if i do so and would not see the#light of day until - oh maybe six months from now#doctor who#river song#doctor x river#eleventh doctor#yowzah#twelfth doctor#the doctor#amy pond#rory williams#doctorriver musings#THORS has serious plot holes i'd like to banish forever but it still gave my gal River and her husband that much needed breather#so for that it's sort of forgiven (but never really forgotten)
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okay yeah everyone owes rappa a fucking apology holy SHIT man
#honkai star rail#rappa#hsr spoilers#GIRL I'M SO SORRY I THOUGHT YOU'D BE BORING AND THEN YOU TURNED OUT TO BE CUTIE-ISH SO I WAS LIKE AW BUT STILL KINDA BORED RIGHT#BUT THEN *THIS???????????* JESUS CHRIST#this memetic virus concept is FASCINATING i really like it.#all sorts of ideas floating about in my head now...#flashing
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WIP!! This is taking me FOREVER but I’m excited about it so here’s a sneaky peaky ;))
#the little fire is probably not going to stay i just like doodling lol#but no i'm having such a hard time with hair lately idk it's pissing me off#I am starting to get the hang of drawing digitally tho so that's nice#my style is still really inconsistent but hopefully that'll sort itself out when i get used to the medium?? idk#byler#corrie draws
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okay, inspired by @dragon-spaghetti's chronic pain Husk headcanons, I present Angel with atypical migraines
Angel getting knocked off balance after a few grueling weeks at the studio (because stress makes them worse), but like with the kind of vertigo that makes you feel like you're floating and untethered, but not spinning
Husk notices when something's off because Angel will stand up from the bar and pause with a hand outstretched before he starts walking, like he needs to recalibrate real quick
he lays on top of Husk with his face in Husk's chest because it's dark and then he'll forbid Husk from moving because that makes it worse, so Husk just kinda rests a hand on his back while they cuddle
#idk idk i've been thinking about this like#if you see this i hope you don't mind that i tagged you#but the chronic pain husk hcs were so good and i am dying to talk about chronic pain husk and atypical migraines angel#i haven't fleshed out the thoughts really at all but i just think angel gets these occasionally and it'll just#wreck him#husk keeps him company because like....there's not much you can do for vestibular migraine#yes i AM projecting onto him#what are blorbos for if not to make them suffer as you suffer#hazbin hotel#hazbin angel dust#i think he would get pain too but as the vertigo part wears off#and more like mild to moderate pain#idk i'm still sort of figuring out how this looks in my head#but i just like the idea of his head feeling bad and the two of them taking care of each other during their bad times
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A May morning.
#em draws stuff#h5#henry v 1989#<- is it even at this point. what the scallop.#le roy d'armes des françois (dit montjoye)#em is posting about temeraire#temeraire worldbuilding collection#my tag-organizing conventions are now working against me. so it goes.#BUT more importantly MY IMAGE. look at them.#settled on a design for honoré that I like better - the shallower profile and wider snoot is a good look on him#he's not a canonical temverse dragon breed but rather one of the line ancestors that will produce the pascal's blue in a couple centuries#as this is set in the early 15th century of temverse I thought it'd be fun to incorporate the changing Varieties of dragons down the years#a few sorts that are still around by the time we get to the 19th century and some that have changed or petered out with time#this is a wildly self-indulgent image... it's very much easier posting something like this when it can kind of go into a Larger Void#but when it comes to this movie and this character well there is not really a larger void to slide such an image into... oh whale!#anyway. look I actually drew a whole dragon and a whole streambed in the same picture. I'm the king of art forever.#our scene must to the battle fly#<- yayyy organization
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Sparkstember Day 18: Balls (Bullet Train)
Sometimes (oftentimes) it's true that all you need are Balls. I personally absolutely love Balls. I'm a big fan! Ekhem. Today I'm using the help of (I mean, copying most of the passages from it) my earlier Balls rant that I have written down after my first listen of it back in January. I really love this album and I don't want to completely skip over saying a couple words on it at least but I really don't think I have the headspace to write anything very good for it today. I'll still try though!
So yeah, Balls. It's a great album, fun and chill (in my sense of what I call and consider chill anyway), consistent, as Sparks albums tend to be, and as I suspected / hoped it does fit this specific vibe of driving around at night somewhere city-like and illuminated. Or being on a train deep at night and looking at the world zooming by (if you'd even see much of it on a train at night anyway.....). And I do think that it's not so dissimilar to Gratsax (I'd say now that it's definitely darker and moodier than its predecessor...). So it's interesting to think about how it's considered to be one of the "weak" ones (by music reviewers at least) while Gratsax is so beloved in comparision.
I will admit, I don't really know what the big problem with this album could be. As I said, it's fun, it has the melodies, it has the energy, it has the theatricality (I like seeing how more and more orchestral instruments such as strings are being incorporated into the music, in a way the jump into Lil' Beethoven two years later doesn't come of as THAT much of a shock because of this. The evolution of sound here is fascinating!) I really like the intense beats, just as much as the more laid-back and moodier pieces. And there's lots of gold to be found in the lyrics department as always.
One more thing I wanna say is that at some point I wondered if this music sounds older than it is. Maybe it does? But then I remembered that this was 2000 and honestly when I think about it, there just IS something about this album that fits so well with the Y2K image and vibe and all. Sparks 2000 and all that.
Favourite songs (and other highlights):
Balls: I mean. It's Balls.
Scheherazade: absolutely LOVE this one and I had the strangest impression of it sounding very familiar when I first heard it. Months later I found out that it was just briefly featured in TSB so I think that explains it (I will talk more about my TSB viewings on TSB day. EVERYTHING has to be explained in excruciating detail, lmao)
The Calm Before The Storm: bugsonas 4ever. Song itself is amazing too
How To Get Your Ass Kicked: how can a song about getting your ass kicked be so pleasant and relaxing, it always keeps cracking me up, how perfect that is actually
Bullet Train: I love it how introducing the topic of the song with a "It's the [topic of the song]" is a reoccurring theme on this album. Thank you Sparks for this ode to technology and art (these lyrics always have me giggling). And also it just goes hard as heck
It's Educational: a perfect fusion of / sequel to I Thought I Told You To Wait In The Car and Progress (it's mostly the vocal delivery that reminds me of the latter)
The Angels: such an odd one here but I still like it a lot, I apparently said that it sounds "surprisingly mainstream for Sparks but somehow in a positive way". It's very sweet and I absolutely love how Russell sings here, it's so different from what we're used to but that only makes it hit you even more in the feels, lol. And I actually prefer the alternative version of this song that's featured as a bonus track, and I do think that's in big part because you can hear Russell better on it (or that was my first impression of it at least and it kind of stuck)
#balls dayyyyyyy#how weird that i went with a different drawing idea than the bugsonas considering that i'm such a big fan of them#(maybe the bugsonas COULD appear later. still don't have an idea for the final day so hm. thinking about this)#but yeah i couldn't pass up the opportunity to draw russell in this era of glasses & haircut combination#and i love sparks' tour photos too much to not give them some sort of tribute at least once#and honestly! i think this is my favourite drawing so far. might even beat out noisy boys#it turned out better than the vision i had of it in my mind!!! that NEVER happens. yet it did this time#(yet also i'm adding this to the series of me making my life harder for myself that it needs to be#because i insisted that the text has to be handwritten for WHATEVER reason. looks good tho so that's a win)#but also man. lil beethoven day tomorrow#i feel so sick about all three of the upcoming albums still and it brings me close to having an existential crisis#to think about how it's been almost a year already since i first heard LB. that's just soooo wrongggggg#i've already been thinking pretty hard abt these albums over the past couple of days (just like every day before that too tbh)#truly nothing else like them in this world. tune in tomorrow to see the madness unfold!!!#sparkstember 2024#my art#goose monologues
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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