#i'm so mad right now i might actually explode

[fellthemarvelous]

TELLING PEOPLE NOT TO VOTE IS EXACTLY WHAT THE REPUBLICANS WANT!!!!

NETANYAHU WANTS TRUMP TO WIN!!!

PUTIN WANTS TRUMP TO WIN!!!

As someone who lives in the fucking states, @sunflowerslut, I am perfectly happy to see Neil promoting voting on his blog! Do you not understand that a Trump win is going to ensure Israel is going to swiftly not only finish the job in Palestine but also do the same thing to Americans here in this country?!?! A Trump win is going to affect the ENTIRE WORLD in a bad way.

We need to be looking at the bigger picture and vote for the fucking candidate who is not promising to roll this country back to a pre-Civil War era. Biden is far from perfect, but at least he is doing things for Americans. If he stays in control at least we are going to have a chance to have another election in 2028 where we can vote in someone even more progressive who will move this country into the future and out of the past. He's not the only one on the ballot and we are also going to elect more women and people of color and people in the LGBT community to represent the needs of Americans!

That will not be a remote possibility any time soon if Trump wins. We only have these two choices and we are going to have to contend with them. If you can't be bothered to show you care for the marginalized in your own country, then you're going to be responsible for the downfall of the Republic. We will no longer have the ability to vote. We will no longer have the ability to make our own choices. We will no longer have the ability to make all the changes we want in the world because we will be slaves to a fascist regime that forces religion and guns and God and babies on us and ignores the cries of the marginalized who will end up in concentration camps.

Fuck you so very much if you can't see past the end of your own fucking nose to understand why your way of thinking is going to be responsible for Trump's victory if you assholes keep falling for the propaganda.

You're giving the middle finger to the children, POC, the LGBT community, those with a uterus, the disabled community, the elderly, those fighting for prison reform, those fighting for the rights of people to live the way they want to without the government forcing them into boxes, Veterans, Indigenous people, (anyone who isn't rich, white, christian and male) who is telling you to vote for Biden. You're feeding into the patriarchy by taking this position, and the adamant refusal to understand this is part of the problem!! White supremacists are counting on people like you to sit this one out because you place the importance of your own personal morals above the literal safety of your fellow citizens who have been in this fight too long to just "sit this one out" because Biden isn't the perfect morally pure candidate you demand.

Life doesn't fucking work that way!

Wake up!

Are you able to vote in US elections? Because the preachy vote blue no matter who posts are really not where it's at, Neil, and if you can't vote in the states then it's doubly fucking annoying.

I'm sorry that it annoys you that I don't have a vote in the US: if it makes you feel better, I pay the vast majority of my taxes here, I live here, and more importantly my children and grandchildren live here and will grow up in whatever version of the US the courts and government create. The effect of the US on the rest of the planet is enormous.

So I'm going to use whatever platform I have to point out that voting matters. And that sometimes you hold your nose and decide who you're voting against.

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

OK Guys. I get the skepticism esp after the Knuckles disaster, but we also need to keep in mind "this is a trailer that won't spoil literally everything about the movie." ESPECIALLY in regards to GUN. They're not gonna put in the trailer "the military shot a little girl and that's why Shadow is mad so Sonic is going to never work with them ever." That's a great way to get parents to bring their kids to the theater, especially in America. (/s)

It's WAY more effective as a plot twist halfway through, where Sonic thinks that he's finally being accepted onto Earth via working with the government only to find out that they're exploiting him and Shadow the same. I can't guarantee this is gonna happen obviously but it's like a 90% chance just knowing how, like. writing works.

Esp considering the government has not had a good track record in the last two movies, I dunno if they'd do a heel-face turn into "actually they were always right" in the movie where a little girl needs to get shot by the government.

And I'm not gonna say "trust and form a parasocial relationship with a film director" but we should keep in mind that Jeff Fowler got his start working on Shadow's title game and has stated in interviews that he understands how important Shadow's backstory is to his character. Not to mention how the internet has been exploding the last two years with enthusiasm over this story actually getting shown onscreen, enough that a studio would fucking notice at the very least that this is what the people want. I can't guarantee they'll actually listen, but saying that they're absolutely not because "Sonic was in a GUN helicopter in the trailer" is insane. Especially with the fact that GUN is not with Sonic when he goes to Eggman. We just see Team Sonic alone meeting with Stone, and I will bet you it's because there's no way in hell GUN would let them near him, what with the Robotnik connections to the ARK.

Also the Gerald thing is rather worrying, esp with the lack of shit they gave Pachacamac in the miniseries, but honestly I think that was just a marketing push of "Jim Carrey will be playing TWO characters!!!" Considering he's only seen in one trailer scene AT the ARK (where all of Gerald's technology was and, more importantly, where the Eclipse cannon he needs someone to set off is) AND we know from movie 2's credits scene that there was a fifty-year timeskip, I severely doubt that's the real Gerald who's just completely unaffected by his granddaughter being murdered.

And ofc there's things to be concerned about in the trailer. The lack of Rouge for instance– I obviously keep posting my theory that Krysten Ritter's character will be her undercover but the fact we don't know how much time she'd actually have with Shadow, if at ALL, is worrying. The fact that Rouge might not be here period. The weird pacing of the Knuckles show and the fear that could bleed over into the movie. But there's also stuff to get excited about– the epic fight scene choreography, the brief glimpse we got of Maria and Shadow's bond. Reeves's voice actually fits Shadow and at least from what the trailer showed us it looks like the Green Hills storyline is taking a backseat to the action and mystery of Project Shadow.

tl;dr guys calm down for like five minutes. if the movie sucks in december we can riot then. right now let's just band together against mufasa

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Okay, so, the ask about yandere platonic dick cheating and how the reader would react has me wondering; what would happen if the reader somehow found out that Dick didn't actually change and decided to go no contact, because they couldn't trust him or maybe because they just don't want to be around someone like that? Would that cause Dick to spiral more? What exactly would be the consequences of going no contact? (Like a complete cut off, although it'd be a bit hard to do that since they live in the same house)

(I was a bit disappointed to read that he probably wouldn't change, but it seemed realistic to me because habits are hard to break and everyone in the batfam is messed up. Although, I imagine after years of therapy or something similar there might be some sort of change. But, I doubt anyone in the batfam is getting therapy... except maybe reader)

Sorry yeah, i don't like to think Dick is actually a cheater or this shitty. I just like to humor different scenarios i get requested. But you cannot deny that this man is a messy whore. THIS IS THE FACE OF EVILLL

context

Look, cheaters are so sloppy. Even the ones who put the most effort into it are always bound to slip up. I imagine batsis isn't a fool. Like Richard...no way did you just go from being a serial cheater to suddenly being completely cleansed. You're an addict baby boy.

Like i said at first he's actually wanting to get clean for his baby sis and to be a good role model. I think it'd be very obvious to you that he's actually trying. He's irritable and really struggling to cope with the fact he has to put the phone down. You can see him obsessively checking his phone for what you'd assume to be a message or notification from one of his hookups. You can tell he's torn up about loosing his partners because he came clean about his unethical practices....

There's no hiding. This is such a deep seeded issue and it is really taking a toll on him. This is something like you said will need YEARS of therapy to fix.

So now Dick is trying to bullshit you a few days later...right in front of your salad! He's just sooo happy and he's proud about this new leaf turned????? Yesterday he looked like he was about to breakdown in tears because he'd been abstinent for just 48 hrs...and now he's glowing???

Dick, your patrol ended at 2 am last night...you came home at 6 am...please don't play with me rn.

not me getting heated. lol

He doesn't explicitly tell you he's back to his old ways. He's willing to keep lying his way into keeping you and this habit but it's undeniable. You know that his gf only forgave him because he lied to her too. It makes you sick when you saw the text of him telling her that he's busy with family and then left out for the rest of the day to go be with someone else.

Maybe you explode on him about it? Last time you were as nice as you could be about it but you cannot deal with the games anymore.

I liked to think in this scenario you're yelling at him and he's just still gas-lighting you, He throws every card to make you feel bad for accusing him. It absolute drives you mad. He's just so calm while you're are trying not to strangle him.

"Baby bat, i love you. I think you're just tired and are imagining things. You're convincing yourself that i'm still the old Dick because you're hurting...i understand and I forgive you. Maybe we should set up therapy sessions to help you let go of the past? Hmm?"

"YOU MOTHER FU-"

Ugh but i love him he's so fucked

The irony of him suggesting you therapy when he's the one riddles with mommy issues and the most insane coping mechanisms...

Dick isn't going to allow you to go no contact. You cannot go no contact with someone you live in the same house with. You are bound to interact and when you are dealing with someone like dick...it just won't work. The bat kids are extremely resilient and are well versed in making someone crack. You wouldn't be the exception.

More realistically you'd probably just be cold towards Dick. That's the best you can do. Not really responding to him and basically stone walling...

But i imagine this version of Dick to be much more forceful. He's done with your self righteousness. How dare you suggest moving out. That isn't an option because he needs to see his baby sister everyday. You are breaking up the family over this. You cannot cut him off because he's flawed...it's not that serious y/n. None of the other siblings are breathing down his neck. Maybe if you weren't so frustrating..he could actually become a better person. You are the one that is preventing him from being better with all your pressure!!

You packed your bags and are fully ready to walk out of this family for good because there's just too many wrong doings swept under the rug and here comes dick who is FUMING... He's trying to rip your bags out of your hands and grab you up..

You are not doing this to him. Stop being so-

Maybe your siblings step in and help you to leave. They help Dick calm down because they respect that it's your choice to live how you'd life.

Dick isn't stopping once you're gone. Especially if you're still in Gotham. There's a shadow that follows you where you go. Tons of messages and calls from unknown numbers. Even scarily enough..a blue toy bird left at your door with a small note that read

"Missed me, my little birdie? We'll be seeing each other again soon."

[literaila]

fighting

gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary: megumi gets in trouble at school

warnings: they are a family (and hate each other)

last part | next part

*

year three.

your mouth is a straight line, and you know both of them are staring at you. 

you're all sitting in the car, three hours before megumi's supposed to get out of school, and it's been quiet for the last ten minutes. 

you don't have anything to say, you think. nothing that will make sense of the mess in your head. 

and satoru's eyes are glaring into your head, burning your skin. you want to shove him and tell him to leave you alone--even though he's not doing anything--but that seems hypocritical. 

especially considering that megumi is suspended for the rest of the week. 

“okay,” satoru says, after his eyes have basically glazed over from focusing on you for too long. “megumi, can you say something? i think her head's about to explode.” 

“i'm fine,” you hiss. and then you glance at megumi in the rearview mirror and feel a little bad. 

he looks smaller than usual. his eyes are shifting from you to satoru, and his mouth is open like he wants to say something but isn't sure what. and, of course, he's scrunched himself up, almost a ball right behind you. 

you don't want to be frustrated with him, but it seems inevitable. he's just a kid, you try to think, but it doesn't work. when you were a kid you didn't-- 

so yeah, you feel bad for him. not that bad though. you know he knows what you’re going to say. 

megumi sighs (but it sounds more reminiscent of one of satoru’s many whines). “i’m… sorry.” 

he might as well be telling you that he cut out your heart, and blew up a church with how dreary his voice is. 

satoru grins. “there. we’re cool now.” he reaches back and ruffles megumi’s hair. his arms are too long for anything in the world. he's basically an arachnoid. “y/n…” he hums. “you can stop frowning now. he apologized.” 

you glance over at him, unimpressed. satoru will brush this away like everything else. 

even though you know he cares--and doesn't want you to be mad, or megumi to feel guilty. 

his stupid smile almost makes you break, but you look away. 

“sorry for what megumi?” you ask, softly, trying to ignore your stupid roommate. he’s been downgraded. 

“…hitting those kids.” 

“are you actually sorry?” you clarify, even though you know the answer. 

he’s silent. 

you can see out of your peripheral when satoru gives him a nasty look. mouthing something to him. 

at least you know where megumi gets this from. his protectiveness is not unique to you, but at least satoru does it jokingly. at least he only destroys the already destroyed. 

maybe you're thinking too hard about this. 

you sigh, this time, rubbing your eyes with one hand. “look, megumi, we can talk about it later.” 

you could use a break from both of them. a couple of minutes to yourself to... probably cry in your bed and wonder why the world is so terrible. 

“um, no we can’t.” satoru says. “i’m going to be gone later. i told you about my—“ 

you pinch his thigh over the gearshift. “we’ll talk without you.” 

he gasps. “excuse you,” he says, “but i am a part of this conversation.” 

“yes, i think you’ve done plenty to contribute to this, gojo.” 

“what’s that supposed to mean?” 

you try to smile at him, but it feels more like a grimace. “just that you’re the one sparing with megumi on the weekends.” 

satoru frowns. “we’re practicing. you want him to be as weak as every other shikigami user in the world?” he asks, rhetorically. 

“i like sparring,” megumi interjects, like it matters. 

“maybe a little too much,” you say, under your breath. 

satoru grabs your hand from his leg, intertwining his fingers with yours. it would be sweet--a nice connection--if you weren't actively trying to hurt him. 

maybe megumi gets it from both of you. 

“okay, megumi,” satoru sings. “you can’t hit your classmates, okay? look i fixed it.” 

you glare at him. then turn into your driveway. 

satoru groans. “why are you both so difficult? megumi, just apologize, and y/n, he made a mistake. he’s not gonna do it again.” 

“i’m not talking about this right now,” you tell him, shaking your hand from his, wanting not to be mad at either of them.

but you’re mad at both. they both suck and you love them too much to even yell. 

“i’m difficult?” megumi retorts. 

satoru groans again and you all get out of the car. 

“go get started on your homework,” you tell megumi, after you unlock the door. “we can talk in a bit.” 

your voice is naturally softer with him. megumi’s too cute to stay angry at. 

satoru doesn’t have that issue. 

megumi looks back at you, his eyes inquisitive, his mouth pinched. “you’re mad at me?” 

you sigh, hanging the keys on the hook. “no, megs. it’s fine. we just need to talk about it. later. 

“you’re mad,” he repeats, all-knowing. seriously, who allowed satoru to raise him? 

“i… maybe a little. not really at you. just the situation.” 

“i’m sorry.” 

you shake your head, hand on your back as you gently nudge him down the hall. “just go hang out for a bit. relax.”

you try not to notice how he rubs his fists, tiny bruises forming on his tiny knuckles.

satoru walks in behind you, bumping into you purposefully. “start writing your opening statement,” he adds, grinning at you both. 

you push him away and megumi rolls his eyes. 

you walk into the kitchen, thinking about moving megumi to a new school—a new family. they’ll probably do better than you’re doing. at least there he won't have one parent who actively eggs him into violence every day. 

you know satoru is following you (because when isn’t he?) but you don’t expect a hand tapping on your arm, and wary blue eyes meeting yours. 

dark blue eyes. 

“can we talk now?” megumi asks, his voice softer than usual. you can tell he feels bad, but you know that it’s only because you’re upset. 

and it’s not even him. you just wish that he had a better response to these things. that he didn’t feel like fixing everything was his responsibility.

you’re not sure where you went wrong, but you know that it was somewhere. 

“megumi… i just need to think for a bit. i’m really not mad.” this time you actually smile at him, because even if he’s beating kids up in school, he’s so sweet to all of you. so cautious.

(except for satoru, but he deserves it). 

“i’m really sorry. i didn’t mean to get in trouble.” 

satoru snorts from behind you. he’s leaning against the wall, watching. 

lord knows he wouldn’t be any help—even if he actually was contributing to the conversation. 

you swallow, because you really don't want to tell megumi anything. not without running it through satoru first, at least. without considering the consequences. 

but he looks very worried, and you don't want to leave him to obsess over this by himself. 

“i just don’t understand why…” you shake your head. you’re not going to make any sense of a nine-year-old mind. “you can’t hit people because you’re upset. you know that.” 

“they were messing with a girl in class,” he says, frowning. then he looks to satoru, his head tilted. “i thought that’s what you told me? i’m stronger, i can help.”

“uh….” satoru scratches the back of his neck, wincing. he's lucky that he's several feet away from you. 

you turn. “what?” 

“i—“ he holds his hands up in defense immediately. “i may or may not have mentioned that we, as in all of us, we’re meant to be upstanders, you know. not—“ he clears his throat. clasps his hands together. “bystanders.” 

“satoru.” you groan, leaning against the counter. at least it's all coming together. 

you need to bug him or something, just to monitor everything he says 

satoru continues. “but i meant in public! with curses. not—not children,” he glares at megumi. 

probably for ratting him out. 

“but you said that if someone was in trouble—“ 

“can you stop talking?” satoru says to him, shaking his head, lips pouting pathetically. “i didn’t raise a snitch.” 

you furrow your brows and megumi crosses his arms. 

“satoru, you told him to fight people?” 

he winces again, adjusting his glasses. “i meant… bad people.” 

“they were bad,” megumi reassures you both because it obviously matters. “they tried to steal her backpack. that’s bad.” 

you sigh, shaking your head. 

you can't believe that you're still standing here, still contemplating what to say to him. 

where did it all go wrong? 

“was the backpack cool?” satoru wonders, going to stand right next to you, hand slinging around your shoulder. he ignores it when you try to push him off. 

he's probably just trying to be annoying. 

megumi frowns. “i don’t know, i didn’t ask her to—“ 

“stop talking, both of you.” 

you ponder running away from all of them and starting a new life. rome is supposed to be nice this time of year, and you’ve been saving up… 

but you’d feel bad for leaving tsumiki with the two of them. plus, satoru doesn’t know how to fill out his tax return. 

“we’re talking,” satoru says, raising a brow at you. “you like that.” he grins at you like he’s solved world hunger or something. 

with his stupid face and stupid mouth. you would move to rome just so you never had to look at him again and feel briefly distracted. 

“i need a minute to think.” 

the two boys share a look. how you’ve survived three years with them is questionable. 

finally, you sigh again, rubbing your temple. “megumi, you know you can’t hit people. why didn’t you get a teacher? violence is never an option.” 

satoru frowns. “what about—“ 

“in the real world,” you correct, glaring at him. “violence is not an option. don’t put your hands on other people. talk to someone.”

megumi kicks his foot against the hardwood. “i didn’t think they’d listen.” 

you nudge his chin, getting him to look at you. “then you tell one of us. preferably not satoru. i know—i understand that you want to help, but hurting someone just to protect someone else isn’t any better than bullying, okay?” 

“yeah, don’t bully your bullies," satoru waves a finger at him. 

you roll your eyes, and megumi looks disheartened—annoyed maybe—but nods eventually. 

not that you expect him to agree immediately anyway. megumi has never been fond of talking. even with all of you, he'd rather hug you than ask how your day is. 

and it's fine, usually. you don't want to push him. 

you also don't want to have to bail him out of jail. 

“okay. good. if this ever happens again i'm homeschooling you.” 

megumi doesn’t seem to mind this, shrugging at the threat.

you pause, then say, “actually, satoru is homeschooling you.” 

the boy frowns. 

satoru nudges your side, giving you a skeptical look. “no punishment? he’s just free to go? last time i tried to—“ 

“you were trying to put megumi in a headlock.” 

“he was eating the last mochi! he knew i was saving it.” 

you scowl at him. “it’s not even his fault,” you say, looking pointedly at him. then you brighten. “and he has to deal with you every day, that’s punishment enough.” 

satoru opens his mouth, holding a hand in the air. then he closes it. 

you turn around to see megumi smirking at him. 

you roll your eyes. “what do you want to tell tsumiki?”

you'll have to pick her up in an hour or two, and she's going to ask questions. plus, megumi's scratched-up hands are not very discreet. 

megumi’s face falls. “um—“ 

satoru starts laughing beside you, body shaking against yours, and you feel like there’s about to be another fight. 

but at least you’re not upset anymore. 

megumi says something to satoru--like shut up--but you're not really listening anymore. just looking between the two like they aren't the most important, special things in the world to you. 

whatever happens, you think, is satoru's fault. 

*

next part | series masterlist

[untoldstar]

“Welcome back baby!”

yandere boyfriend x gn cheater! reader

MAJOR trigger warnings: murder, explicit scenes and descriptions of murder, explicit descriptions of blood, psychotic character, toxic dynamic, cheating, jealousy, trauma for the reader, yandere themes, obsessive behavior, stalking.

He glares at the wall in front of him is he lets out a puff of smoke, his face breaks into a scowl when a whine comes from underneath him igniting his anger further “You better fucking stay quiet if you don’t wanna piss me off further” he growls, his boot rubbing into the man’s bloodied cheek as he screams. What could only be assumed as a string of curses is muffled by the rag gagging his mouth. Jesse lifts his boot to stomp down on the man’s face, earning a pained scream, he leans down close to the man’s face “You really want me to take my anger out on you don’t you?” he whimpers, shaking his head violently. Jesse only lets out an amused huff and leans back against the couch

Your couch.

With his boot resting on the bloodied face of the man you cheated on him with.

It didn’t take him long to find out you’ve been having an affair. He knows everything about you which is exactly why he isn't only going insane at the fact you've allowed another man touch you but he's also frustrated with himself for not noticing sooner. He keeps an eye on you every second of the day, how had this slipped by him?

It doesn't matter. You did something very bad and you're about to be punished for it, starting with watching the man you've let touch you slowly get slaughtered.

Click.

The corner of his mouth lifts up

You're here.

He hears your footsteps halt when you see him sitting in the dimly lit room.

"Jesse?" You haven't noticed the bloody whimpering mess on the floor yet. You slowly make your way around the couch only to stop dead in your tracks slapping your hands over your mouth.

"Hey baby. Welcome back" he grins at you all the while digging his boot harder into the mans face "What the fuck?! What the actual fuck have you done Jesse?" He ignores your clear distress and move his leg aside to bend down and grab the mans chin roughly, lifting his head up so you can see him more clearly "You recognize him?" fuck, of course you recognize him.

"Who's he to you huh?" Your breath shudders as you stare into the madness swirling behind his eyes, they're blood shot and there's dark circles underneath them, his jaw is clenches and his entire body is tense. He's a ticking bomb waiting for the final push to explode.

Your mouth dries and you can feel your heart bashing into your ribcage "He's..my friend." You lie with the calmest tone you can master at the moment and send out a quick silent prayer that he doesn't turn this night into a bloodbath. "BULLSHIT" he shouts bashing the mans head in the floor. You flinch and you feel like crying looking at the injured sobbing man on the floor and in a split second he's up and right in front of you "Don't you fucking dare look at him right now. You look at me only" You don't say anything as you hold his stare "Don't you understand? I know everything about you and one of the many things I know is that you've let this scum touch you." Your hands tremble as you try to stand your ground "You have no idea what you're talking about! Me and him are just friends and yet you have him tied up and bloodied on the floor you're fucking insane!" He steps closer until your chests are flush "I might be but that doesn't make what I'm saying less true." Your eyes gloss over "You have to stop Jesse." He chuckles darkly "You can deny it all you want I'm still gonna kill this asshole." the man on the floor thrashes and screams in protest "Fuck- fine it's true okay? just- just please stop..I'll do anything just don't hurt him." He laughs in disbelief and his eyes look more wilder than anything you've seen "Holy shit you actually care about this guy." he steps back and rolls the man on his back with his foot "This is what took you from me." the man lets out strings of muffled pleas "Jesse please.." he sighs and crouches down taking ahold if the mans jaw shaking his side to side as if inspecting him before roughly letting go. He nods "I want you to watch." your heart sinks "what?" It feels like your ears bleeding at the sharp sound of the knife he pulls out "I want you to keep your eyes on me baby ‘kay? don't take them off of me for one second." He straddles the man and your chest heaves "Jesse please please don't do this." the man looks at you, face red tears covering his entire face as he sobs and screams, he shakes his head and thrashes his body and you want to be swallowed up by the earth.

This can't be happening.

how do you fix this?

"Jesse please-" You're cut off by your own scream when Jesse plunges the knife into the mans chest. The room is filled with your screams and grotesque sounds of blood gurgling and the squelching sounds of the knife being pulled out only to be plunged back in.

Your legs give out and you fall to your knees.

It's your fault.

you cover your face unable to withstand the scene any longer.

He's dead because of you.

you did this.

and you watched as he died.

You don't hear Jesse over your own sobs "-baby" you lift your head to see him in front of you.

There's so much blood.

On the carpet.

Covering Jesse's hands. Streaking his face and clothes.

On the knife he used that's disregarded behind on the floor.

You feel bile rising up.

He cups your face with his bloodied hands staining your skin "Shh shh it's okay it's over now you did good. You watched. I know." He wipes the tears off your face but ends up making more of a mess "I love you baby. So much. Fuck- you have no idea how much"

You do. He killed for his love.

He presses a gentle kiss on your lips “I didn’t mean to get you dirty with his blood. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

[my-debauchery]

Wonder.

idol!haechan × gn!reader

g`fluff

cw`tears(happy), kisses, hugs

wc`0.8k

A/N: constructive criticism is more than welcomed. if you see mistakes in cw, please, let me know.

'do you ever wonder?' haechan asks as he lays his head on your shoulder and pulls you in closer to him. 'wonder about what?'you ask.

you look up at the clock on the bed side table, 03:36. you are laying in bed with haechan, slightly overheating, cause he decided to turn into coala and trap you completely, as well as cocoon both of you in a blanket. he claims you need to warm up after the earlier walk you took and he needs to recharge from you, after a shity day he had. sure you do,both of you. but now you're wondering how are you not melting.

you start to slip in to your slumber when haechan tightens his hug even more. 'things?' he mumbles in to your shoulder. you're slipping again trying to remember what you were talking about. 'so do you?' he whines a bit and you chuckle at his impatience 'i don't know what you talking about' you're quite sleepy, so his question left your mind as quickly as it entered it.

'want to know what I wonder about all the time? to the point that when I talked to doyoung hyung about it and how much it occupies my mind, he genuinely looked concerned, said i might be losing it' haechan says with a smile. you're intrigued, so you whisper 'please, share with a crowd'

'i wonder about you. and me. how we met, how we love each and what our life's will look like in 10,20,30 or 60 years from now. would we have been able to meet if one thing were to be different in our life's? will we be happy? how will our children look like? how am I going to say no when you'll decide to get an ugly little white dog? i don't think we will able to find another daegal, right? what if you get sick and leave me all alone? what if i? how can i? what to do when i let our child eat too many sweets and now they have a stomachache? and you told me not to do that. should we get a place at the cemetery now or later? won't the prices rise? will i cry at our wedding or not? will you? will you let me be buried at your feet like that italian painter? do you ever find me annoying or too much?do y-' you immediately interject 'no, never' he kisses your cheek and moves his lips to your ear and continues in whisper 'do you actually like my friends? as much as i do? my family? does yours like me? are you lying that they do? are you sick and tired of me asking you to cook for me my favorite things again and again? do you yearn for me when I'm gone? as much as i do for you? do you like the smell of my new shampoo? will you marry me? when would be the right time to ask? is there a right time?'

you lay there, frozen as tears are gathering in your eyes, unable to say anything really. nothing that, in your opinion, will be as moving and silly as haechan's waterfall of thoughts. but when you come to realize what his last 3 questions were 'did you just ask me to marry you?' you sit up and look at him. he sits up and looks down to grab your hands, he is blushing. 'i mean...' he can't look you in the eyes, so you ask again 'did you? i mean it's not very romantic, but kind is, you know? i'm not mad.' he looks up at you, eyes twinkling 'really? it's not how i wanted to ask, but i just couldn't stop. you are truly what occupies 99,99% of my mind, the rest is unimportant stuff. so, will you? will you marry me? i know that we can't legally now, but in the future i'll give the grandest wedding you want. for now we can wear matching rings and think of each other as husband and wife. and we can have a celebration with family and friends. how does that sound?'

you look up to stop yourself from crying and when look at him. truly look at him and all that you can see is love. love so overwhelming sometimes you feel you will explode from the happiness that it brings. and yet so calming and stabilizing, it makes you power through the darkest of hours.

'i will. i love so much, i don't need any wedding. as long as we are each other's, we can be happy on our own, there is no need for the world to know.' haechan smiles and pulls you in for a kiss, short and sweet. and then another on the cheek, and the forehead, and left temple , and right temple, till he kissed your face all over and you're both giggling messes. you pull him in for a hug and squeeze as hard as you can, wondering. how are you so lucky to be able to touch the sun and not burn up?

[prettynice8]

Kinkmas Day 12: Lingerie

Pairing: Eijiro Kirishima x male reader

This guy

Summary: So, you say some shit to Bakugo, and he WRECKS your uniform, making Kirishima kinked up

Warnings: Kissing, biting/markings, sex, lingerie DUH but in the form of a torn-up costume.

Word count: 1,356

You were practicing, which you don't often do. Fighting fellow children to get better at ruthlessly beating the shit out of other people in the future, not exactly your thing. Though today was different because you heard that it was a men's only practice, fucking score. None of those women ruining anything by being there, now you could admire your classmates without anyone intervening, and this practice went hard as fuck, tee hee.

Everyone was in their hero outfits to make it seem more real, and holy shit were you wet, watching people duke it out, everyone surrounding them, cheering them as their sweaty bodies clash into one and other.

The people fighting currently were Bakugo, who was possibly the most annoying kid in the grade, and Kirishima, who was one of the hotter men, especially in that shirtless costume, you would fuck both of them honestly.

When the fight was done, everyone went off to do their own training, except you, who just stood there, only being here to ogle at the hot men. You just kind of stayed in a corner uncomfortably, your skin tight costume not helping much.

You just stood there until finally Bakugo came over to you screaming.

"What the fuck are you doing just standing here idiot!" He shouted, coming really close to you, so much so you could feel his hot breath on your face. He had that angry look on his face.

"Fuck off, I'm not affecting your life at all, go thrust your dick in a hot pocket or whatever desperate people like you do." You flared back. You honestly weren't even that mad at what he said, you just really didn't like him, doesn't mean you wouldn't suck his dick until it turned into laffy taffy though.

He stared back at you, rage filling his face. He grabs you by the chest, surprisingly having a firm grip with how tight it is.

"LISTEN HERE MOTHER FUCKER, BITCHES LIKE YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! I WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP; I WILL EXPLODE THAT STUPID LOOK ON YOUR FACE WHORE!" He shouted at you once again, this time a lot more aggressive as you can tell with the all caps. You just stared at him, completely apathetic to his tantrum. It was also at this point that his little bitch drew attention to the two of you.

"You would like to fuck my shit up wouldn't you queer." You said, looking him dead in the eye. Every He looks PISSED, his grip previously on your costume is now caging you in, the smell of smoke originating from his hand is apparent in the air.

Kirishima notices this and actually worries that Bakugo might kill you and goes in between the two of you. Bakugo tries to reach over him but is unable to.

"FIGHT ME YOU PUSSY!" He shouted, now just spewing shit out of his mouth.

"Bakugo, calm down." Kirishima demanded gently in his sweet smile. "You're being over dr-"

"Sure," you cut Kirishima off.

Everyone stared at you, astonished, the queer that just sits there and looks pretty is actually going to fight Katsuki Bakugou, and that's exactly what you do.

It's an epic battle, truly one for the ages. Every hero in training there is astonished with how well you hold yourself, not faltering once. Such a duel that would rival the best in his- and you lost immediately.

Twinks can't fight as easily as that, which is your excuse when everyone asks you what kind of pathetic excuse of a fight was that, if it could even be called such.

Oh, and there's one other thing. Bakugo let off quite the explosive blast and uh, completely wrecked your costume, and I mean WRECKED. It is in tatters, holes and tears throughout the whole thing. You also don't have anything under it because of how fucking breath takingly tight it is... including underwear.

So here you are, standing practically naked in front of all of your classmates. Not a word from any of them, they're all too stunned to speak, except for that cocky bastard Bakugo.

"Fucking slut, I knew you couldn't fight for shit." He degraded, laughing his ass off.

"As if this wasn't your plan this entire time, trying to see me naked. That's really weird Bakugo, why would you do something like that? I would've done it if you just asked." You teased, causing his rage to boil back up to the surface. He walks towards you, ready to beat the shit out of you again, but Kirishima stands between the two of you once again as well.

He puts his hands in front of both you and Bakugo, separating the two of you. Kirishima tries to fight off Bakugo once again as he screams at you.

"FUCKING WHORE BITCH SLUT, SAY THAT TO ME ONE MORE TIME!"

"God you're thirsty for me." You said, not affected by any part of this whole ordeal. Kirishima continues to struggle with Bakugo, fending him off from attacking you. During his attempt, he accidently grips onto your exposed nipple tightly, causing both of you to blush, and pull away from each other. This leaves Bakugou with the perfect opportunity to charge after you, in which Kirishima catches him in the act, throwing him to the ground.

Kirishima then leads you out of the area so you can change, among other things. You just go along with it, rather be here than out where everyone can see you naked, you'd rather do it in a place that isn't so chilly.

You think he's just being a nice guy, until he leads you into the supply room. He locks the door behind the two of you, then kissing you deeply, in which you instantly reciprocate.

"I'm sorry, but you just looked so hot with that tattered uniform." He apologized.

"I usually have that effect on people." You bluntly said, he laughs at your remark before going back to kissing you. Sticking his tongue in your mouth, exploring it. He then entangles his tongue with yours.

He then lays kisses down your neck, stopping when he gets down to your nipples, sucking and nipping at them. His hands then go down to grab your exposed ass, causing a loud moan to exude from your mouth.

Then, to your surprise, he takes off his pants and reveals his girthy cock with a medium length, a big red bush at the base. He picks you up by your thighs, you react instantly by wrapping your legs around his hips as he sets your back to the wall.

"Are you ready?" He asked,

"Fuck me already." You responded, horny as all hell.

Fuck you he does, shoving his big dick in your ass. He starts off slowly, easing in so he doesn't hurt you. He kisses you, hoping for you to calm down so he can ease in better, which works quite well.

He starts to speed up, making you moan much louder. He then starts to lick open parts of your costume that lead straight to your skin. The feeling of his warm tongue causes you to moan somehow even louder.

He starts to exclusively lock on your perky nipples, using his shark teeth to nibble at them. The sensation of his teeth on your sensitive nips nearly enough to make you cum from that alone, but when you add his dick pounding into your ass makes your climax all the closer.

His hands have a bruising grip on your ass as he thrusts up into you continuously, chasing both of your climaxes, which is exactly what happens.

You cum all over his stomach, he follows in closely after a few more thrusts, shooting his thick load in your ass.

"Holy fuck that was amazing." He panted, head laying on your shoulder while he quickly gasped for breath. He then sets you on the ground, holding you steady so you don't fall over on the floor with your shaky legs.

"Let's do it again." You said, leaving the room, still wearing the torn uniform.

THE END

[eustasskidagenda]

Hiiii

Could you maybe write a scenario where reader gets super drunk and Kid takes care of them. I think he’d seem mad but actually be really sweet

Thank you!!

Hello, dear anon! Thank you for your request. I'm always happy to write with Kid and I had a lot of fun with this one! Hope it meets your expectations.

☆Kid (trying) to take care of a drunk s/o

CW : alcohol, cursing, vomiting, and mentions of sex, fun, fluff, g/n reader

WC: around 1,300

Your whole world is completely blurred. How many beers have you consumed since the beginning of the evening? Too much, you even lose the count. You just get carried away by the happy mess created by your fellow mates. From far, the Victoria Punk crew might seem scary, weird, or even rude, but it's like a big family of marginalized people and you love cheering with them. But now, you feel really drunk. Way, way too much alcohol in your system, you’re totally intoxicated.

"One more," you mutter under your breath, slurring all your words. Heat is on his way to bring you another cup of alcohol when a large manicured hand falls on the table brutally. "No fucking more, you moron." You try to frown but you're way too drunk, so you just fail miserably and start laughing, trying to grab the beer. "Come on Kid, don't ruin the fun." You're forced to scream because the punk music inside the bar is way too loud. "You're so weak, how can you get so drunk with a few beers?" He mumbles, glancing angrily at Wire and Heat. They were supposed to take care of you, but now you're so drunk that you struggle to keep your eyes open and laugh stupidly at Kid. The way he looks annoyed is amusing. Or maybe it's just the alcohol running through your vein that makes everything funny. Your eyes are wet with alcohol and your cheeks are completely red. You’re in a good mood. The music is great and you're with your friends. Kid is just killing the fun, as always. 

"Come on babe, just join us." You say, showing the place next to you. Kid growls, takes the tankard away from you, and grabs your chins, trying to cross your gaze. "Tomorrow, don't fucking cry because of your hangover, you did that to yourself. Now, we go back to the Victoria Punk, the party is over for you." You just giggle because he looks funny with that angry expression on his face. It's like seeing a tulip almost exploding. "I'm not kidding, y/n" 

You pout with wet puppy eyes. Kid growls. "I won't change my mind", he snarls. Yes, maybe you look cute with that expression on your face, but nothing can change Kid's mind. He's way too stubborn and right now, he's mad at you. Even if you were with Heat and Wire, something could happen. And if someone hurt you, he would never forgive himself. 

"Move your ass, y/n." You don't move and laugh heartily, the music pulsating inside your head. The guitar and beats are both excellent. Trying to follow the music's rhythm, you move your head, but you're too drunk and end up vomiting on the table and the floor. Kid reacts quickly by grabbing your hair and taking it away from your face. He's muttering curses under his breath. "Goddamn!" He hands you a napkin he just stole to Heat and wipes your mouth. Afterwards, he offers you a glass of iced water. "Drink." You are too dizzy to think anymore, so you accept his help and swallow all the cold water, sighing of relief. "Can you stand up?" Kid asks, throwing the dirty napkin on Heat's face. It's his punishment for letting you drink too much. 

You try to stand up and fail miserably, but before your body hits the ground, Kid's strong arms are around your waist. Even though he's mumbling and growling, he still looks sweet right now. You nuzzle your head against his bare chest, he growls, cheeks as red as his hair, but he lets you use his chest as a pillow and carry you outside the bar. His heart beats quickly against your head, and you can feel it. That sound is something you love, it's like a lullaby. Often, you're worried for your dear captain, he's way too cocky and one day, it might cost him his life. You are terrified by that thought.

Outside, the air is cold and fresh. You inhale the night air deeply. Yes. Better than a mixture of sweat and alcohol. "You're not cold?" Kid is an hot-headed, and even his body is always warm and hot. So you shake your head. "I feel sick," you complain. "Don't you dare vomiting on me or I throw you to the sea." He's so unserious you can only laugh. Playfully, you start to kiss his neck, pinching his nipple, before fondling his chest. "Honk honk" You giggle and press his toned muscles repeatedly. "What the hell, you're a fucking child…" He just sighs, too tired to fight back and honestly a bit flustered. You look absolutely idiotic and yet, you're so adorable, laughing heartily while playing with his chest.

Once you finally reach the Victoria Punk, Kid just stomps through the ship and gets to your shared bedroom, throwing you on the bed. You whine, half asleep and half sick. The headache is starting to reverberate in your head and your world is completely blurred. Yes, maybe you drank too much tonight. "Get changed," he commands before leaving the room. You can hear him mumbling something like, 'How the fuck am I supposed to deal with someone who's drunk, that's Killer responsability"

You laugh. He's trying his hardest.

You try to untie your shoes but end up failing miserably on the ground. So when Kid comes back with some water and pills, he honestly wants to facepalm.  You look like a stranded seal. First, he drops off his stuff on the nightstand and then sits you at the edge of the bed. "You're better off forgetting everything about tomorrow," he growls before kneeling down and removing your shoes. Kid only kneels for one thing, that thing that makes you shiver and leaves you both exausted and satisfied. So, this situation is completely unexpected and you can't help but smile, intoxicated by all the alcohol you drank earlier. "Kid is kneeling in front of me, Heat and Killer will never believe me!" 

He snarls 'Shut up,' completely embarrassed, before standing up. He unbuttons your shirt, takes off your pants, and leaves you with your underwear. His eyes can't help but take a look at your beautiful body. He just loves every single detail about you. Oh, he would love to run his callused hands on your skin, driving you to new heights. But right now, you're too drunk. If you vomit on his face while he's fucking you, it will remain in his mind forever. More important, you're wasted and your mind is too dizzy. He'll wait. So he just gives you the water and pills and watches closely until you swallow everything. 

"Now, just sleep and stop annoying the hell out of me." He pulls the blanket over your nose and places his hand on your forehead.  You grasp his wrist. "Stay with me."

Heavy sigh. "Of course I stay, dummy. I won't sleep on the ground just because you're feeling sick, that’s my bed too" Sleepy, drunk, dizzy, you struggle to keep your eyes open. Kid's lips touch your forehead, and you're unsure if you're dreaming or not. You heard a soft whisper of 'you're a fool but I love you, sleep well' Did he actually say that? Ain't no way, you must already dream. 

And then.

blank

out.

When you wake up hours after, with the worst hangover you have ever had. You laboriously sit on the bed. Kid has already left the room. Maybe yesterday was just a dream created by your intoxicated mind. On the nightstand, there's a fresh glass of water with pills. You grab the mirror that Kid made for you, made of metal, for sure. Immediately, you notice the red lipstick that has been smeared on your forehead. 

So, it wasn't a dream.

[astraystayyh]

oki here is a rough draft of the quotes series I'm working on, so I'd actually force myself to work on these

(these will be fics inspired by my favorite quotes or said quotes will be included as dialogue :))

chan : soulmates!au, with a twist "on purpose. i love you on purpose."

minho : pre-established relationship, to strangers to lovers "to love someone is to firstly confess, im prepared to be devastated by you"

changbin : fwbs with so much tension it might explode. "if i kissed you right now, i don't think I'd be able to stop." and "please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it"

hyunjin : art students with forced proximity to lovers. "and maybe if i loved you less I'd be able to talk about it more"

han : enemies (actual ones this time) to lovers. "I'll take care of you. it's rotten work. not to me, not if it's you."

felix : im still not sure about this one, but there are two strong quotes contenders : "for a while it was love. wasn't it? for me it was love" and "i will not have you, without the darkness that lies within you. you will not have me, without the madness that makes me. if our demons cannot dance, neither can we."

seungmin : friends to lovers but with unrequited love as an appetizer. "oh god, please. please. love me. love me. desperation sits heavy on my tongue."

jeongin : strangers to lovers. my fav genre of innie : with a big fat crush. "in the train we swap seats. you wanted the window and i wanted to look at you."

[helpallthenamesaretaken]

hi so this is a bit of a rant because I had a lot on my mind and needed to get it out, don't mind me, I might have gone little mad in this. warning: probably an unpopular opinion

ok now that you're here.

why are the logical behind pre-tlo jealous!percy fics so despicable? like seriously. this is a sentiment ive seen from lot of percabeth fans, and I hate it so much.

so a lot of posts I've seen about this are like "why did percy have to have love interests ? annabeth needs a side man too to make it equal" ok first of all, why is there some weighing scale in all of this? it's not a court situation where we need to judge which side committed more crimes.

having a 'side man' for annabeth completely disrespects the feelings she was going through in the period of botl-tlo. I think most people forget that rachel wasn't her only problem during that time. luke, her older brother figure from 7 years old had been possessed by the soul of kronos. OF COURSE she would be emotionally unavailable due to her grief. at the end of botl, percy describes that SHE never came and talked to him either about the kiss or whatever. it was a mutual silent treatment. percy couldnt have confessed to annabeth even if he tried, because it was obviously a bad time for her duh. they rlly expect percy to be like "annabeth😍 I know you're going through major grief right now ❤️ but pls kiss me" the same way annabeth found it hard to confess to percy because of rachel and whatever.

people think it's really funny to write fics about annabeth flirting with someone like connor during times like when percy got exploded by the volcano. "percy was doing things with Calypso too--" HE WAS HEALING. He had to stay there for some time to heal after getting EXPLODED. he was also tempted with paradise. stuff like that isn't a decision to make in a second. having annabeth have fun with other boys with connor or smthn while she thinks percy is dead is such a disrespect to her love for percy, I wonder how people like that are percabeth fans at all. same goes for fics where annabeth does it ON PURPOSE to make percy mad.

problem with these type of fics is that they're so PETTY. "If i was annabeth I would have made percy beg on his knees" "if I was annabeth I would murder him--" BUT YOURE NOT ANNABETH. annabeth chase LOVED percy jackson and would never do something on purpose to hurt percy or annoy him. she's not vicious like you.

also percy wasn't falling all over rachel and calypso. he treated them as he would treat any other best friend and kept his distance romantically, even though it was clear he might have had a crush. making annabeth purposefully flirt with other guys or accept other guys advances doesn't equal the weighing scale, it makes it even more unequal.

look, I'm not saying annabeth can't have any love interest other than percy. she CAN find other men attractive. she CAN have interest in other men. you can write that all you want. I'm just saying it was never something so necessary and the logic behind it is so petty. and her weaponising it because of her jealousy towards rachel is just so not something she would ever do.

also, just a short note before this ends: i actually like some jealous!percy fics. some are good. it's just some people get really worked up about the fact that annabeth NEEDS a love interest to get back at percy. that's who I'm mad about. if you've written a jealous!percy fic, cool!

[jolyneart]

This'll be a long-ish post about my The Locked Tomb themed MTG deck and how I made like 20 versions of it before I decided to build it (and how I'm still working on it).

(I want to do legit art for this card)

If you are part of the Venn diagram of these two interests, or you want to see my slow descent into madness ovear a year of trying to put cardboard together, check the spoilers below.

So, I haven't been playing Magic for too long (a bit over a year). Weirdly I have owned cards since original Ixalan, but I never bothered learning to play until a friend invited me to play commander. I just wanted them for the pretty pictures, I have always admired Magic artists and they have been a huge inspiration on my art career.

Anyways, not too long after I started to play, I got this idea into my head that I should do a Locked Tomb commander deck.

"That'd be fun!" I thought

Well

All of these are over a year old (and are not my only first attempts, but I'll talk about those later).

I had two main issues when starting to build this deck:

1- I have never been interested into deck-building before in a card game

2- I have no fucking idea of what I'm doing

The first commander I chose to lead this deck, that I still think thematically fits within TLT universe, is Ratadrabik of Urborg

This Rat of a man has given me so many headaches, I'm sure that now I'd be able to do make a half-decent deck with him in the lead, hell I do have a black/white aristocrats deck that he could command just fine.

But my issue was that I had no idea how to balance his legends theme and zombie kindred theme at the same time, in the same deck. I was just incapable. And all of my results, budget or not, were jank piles that did very little or exploded into an infinite combo with cards like Boromir, Warden of the Tower or Nazgul. It just didn't feel right and the Locked Tomb theme was barely holding on by a thread with the things I was putting in there. There were barely ANY skeletons in any of these! (this will keep happening)

Anyways, after giving up on Ratadrabik (which btw I think would make for a great Ianthe proxy) I moved on to find some other commander and color combination that'd enable something else that wasn't a pile of legendary creatures.

Queue in Varina, Lich Queen

It's a Zombie Wizard! She cares about zombies, those are kind of early skeletons! She raises the undead herself!

Well, I do think Varina is great, and in other world where I knew how to build decks back then, she might just have been my Harrow commander deck

I don't even think the decks I made for her were that bad at all, just extremely expensive. And also the zombie theme, while much better supported mechanically, I didn't feel really represented the kind of necromantic powers we see in the books at all.

Shoutout to Mikaeus, he'd make for a great Jod if anyone wants to make a deck about our lord and savior the undying emperor.

Ok, now I'm going to take a bit of a detour to talk about what I actually like playing in mtg (not just commander). I predictably really enjoy playing black and graveyard strategies, but also really love putting big idiot beaters into the field with those strategies .I know, groundbreaking. But it is what it is, two of my favourite decks do this in one way or another.

God's perfect deck, my Sauron deck, was my first precon, that has left the lands of preconstruction long ago and is my dearest possession. Is it my most powerful deck? nope. Is it unbeatable? Not really, I almost never win with this deck.

What BIG Sauron does is, in an extremely thematic way, become a problem for everyone at the table, do evil things, and have everyone beat me down for my reanimation crimes.

If you are interested, you can check out that deck here.

Anyways sorry, back to the locked tomb, SO I like the graveyard right? Wouldn't it be nice that there'd be a famous woman necromancers in mtg? What if she leaded the deck?

Well, the most that I can say is that there really can be too much of a good thing. I'm talking about swamps.

Initially I had these two running around in the Ratadrabik deck. I still stand by the idea of having these flip walkers be young Harrow/Gideon and flip them into their "First House" versions. The Gideon/Kiriona and Kytheon/Gideon thing still drives me insane.

I was too sad discarding them, so I grabbed the Lilly card and tried to make it work, I really tried, I put on a lot of effort and care. But it didn't work, it wasn't her, it was me.

I built a pretty generic aristocrat shell, but I think that type of archetype really benefits of having more colors to work with (specially white).

So, with three commanders locked in the tomb (I also tried a Gut rakdos deck but I'm not even going to talk about it), what was next? I spent months on these and still had nothing to show for it. Was I the problem? Was I cursed with bad deck dissease?

No, that cannot be. I'm building other decks while this is going on and those are doing just fine. Lae'zel//Master Chef, Gandalf Big Artifacts. The issue might be that the head of the deck is always caring for just the one thing, there was not much diversity. I kept making Necromancers but had no Cavaliers to back them up.

If there could just be a way to have two little guys up there in the command zone. Wait a minute...

So, this was truly a jank fest. Partner is an extremely strong mechanic in commander, and Tymna is specially strong as a card to have access early. So I decided to justify using these to make the biggest pile of nonsense happen.

Equipment? check. Initiative? check. Skeletons? check. Zombies? check. Graveyard? check. Lifegain? check.

While goldfishing I realized that while the commanders do a great job to sustain the rest of the deck, the ammount of themes and archetypes made this a pile of cards that I can barely call a deck. And worst of all, they enabled two pretty strong commanders, and that didn't feel that'd be satisfactory at all in actual play.

I even prepared proxies for these! Feel free to use them if you want.

Also, I tried the whole partner thing swapping out Tymna for Ikra Shidiqi. Bringing out another whole color didn't help with the theme soup I was working with.

So I wholy abandoned the idea of both partners, and maybe even making this deck.

Maybe my hopes and dreams of having a functional silly lesbians and skeletons deck were doomed (yuri) from the beginning.

Months pass, I built 3 or 4 other decks in the meantime that work, can compete and be fun, sometimes all at the same time if you'd believe it. I had completely lost faith in this deck idea.

All until one day, were I was checking out a pile of cards I had pulled from the recent MH3 set to put them into my binder. And then I see it. There he was, this fucking guy with a shovel(?), looking at me.

I read again his fairly big wall of text, what does this guy do again?

Oh, he does necromancy stuff? attacks? wait wait, he draws POWER from the GRAVEYARD?? in JUND?

He really saved it. Not only I feel this perfectly represents the dynamics of Cavalier is in charge of creating enough thanergy for their necromancer, but ALSO does the necromancer thing, and ALSO loves having like 10 power and beating down face. This was a message, the dream was still alive.

So, I make a list, I order cards, I scrounge cards from my other black decks. And there it is. It's real

The Locked Tomb Griddlehark Commander Deck

But... that's not how my list looks right now. Yeah I know this deck is cursed into being always changing I think. But, the main issue here was what I said before. It had to pull cards from multiple decks to sustain itself. And I learned quickly that I don't like having my baby, my Sauron, being not functional, and that keeping track of what cards are where and swapping them out constantly sucks tremendously.

So, I pulled back most of the cards to their original decks. What was left was a corpse, a beautiful incomplete deck. So I selected cards from my collection, lower powered ones, niche ones, weird ones, and put them in for their more powerful counterparts.

It's function is extremely simple, it fills it's graveyard quickly, ramps, and with Coram on the battlefield, you turn that self-mill into card advantage, the graveyard into a power source and bring back powerful creatures like the Resurrection Beasts (Eldrazi)

There also are skeletons in there, of course.

This deck needed to die many deaths to exist. But isn't that the theme?

I'll make sure to put up the new decklist on my moxfield whenever I get a few upgrades.

[fullmetal-scar-simping]

I really think father and hohenheim should have been the same character? I mean, father is such a bland villain. Maybe I just haven't looked enough but I haven't seen even the most hardcore bh fans talk about him? It's all just about how ed punched god or whatever. No one's actually interested in the guy himself. I can think of several ways them being the same person would make it a lot more interesting, at least to me. I mean, first of all ed and al having to fight their own shitty father is some delicious angst. Second I really like the mad scientist type character and that's what hoho would be in that scenario. Third I think it would be fun to analyse the "sins" he took out of himself if he was a human to begin with. Ohh and come to think of it, it would go really well with Ed's whole "alchemists are the closest things to God yadda yadda" speech in the beginning wouldn't it? Honestly I can't think of any reason why they had to be different people at all...Ah, except how can I forget. Arakawa's writing this. Of course they have to be two different people. One who actually did all the wrong things and the loving father and husband who's going around trying to make everything right(nevermind that he left Trisha to care for their 4-5 yos all alone with no support. Nuh uh he's perfect) If she held the fact that the two can in fact be the same person it might just explode her world. I'm rolling my eyes.

Father and Hohenheim as the same character? Who is a mad scientist? Who as a result reimburses Ed's pompous "Alchemists are the closest things to god"? Blends aspects of being an unforgivable monster with having loved his family? I've got your guy!

🎉Hohenheim of Light!🎉

Oh sure, he's not the final big bad that the Elric bros have to fight, and sure he's more of a retired villain who's mildly penitent for his centuries of bloodshed, rather than continuing to enact widespread destruction. But we do get to see the results of all his transgressions against humanity and his own first son too! So, 🎉 ta-da! 🎉

To actually address your ask:

Besides what 03 had already done, for awhile I actually thought Father WAS Hohenheim in Brotherhood.

To clarify: I avoided the online fandom from 2009 onward in order to prevent getting spoiled for the (at the time) new fma adaptation. I kept putting off watching it for well over a decade (lol), and for no other reason then a combo of 1) not being in the mood for more fma, and 2) when I was, I would immediately run right back to fma 03 without fail, and then be so thoroughly satisfied with revisiting a long time fave that I just. Would put off watching Broho for another time.

Still, being online in any capacity meant that every once in awhile I was unavoidably being exposed to the odd screenshot, text post, and fanart. No big deal, nothing really spoiled anything heavily enough for me to know the full story, and I could easily scroll away before making sense out of anything.

But I did one day stumble into a screenshot of Father glowering in his underground throne. And here I thought "Oh shit! Hohenheim is actually in full villain mode this time around?! We're going to actually explore the mass annihilation he commits for philosopher stones and how his sons will have to contend with their own father. This will surely dig even deeper into Ed and Al's heel turn against the military, and what alchemy means as a method of power and control. Man, this is gonna fuck!"

lol

lmao even

So to my now endless disappointment I finally watched Brotherhood this last spring. And although I surprisingly liked* this affable, bumbling, rather tragic version of Hohenheim (which stumps me, given my initial assumption for Brotherhood AND being a long time Hohenheim of Light enjoyer) (I still like Hoho of Light more tho), Father was such a fucking let down on every front.

*Don't get me wrong, I'm not claiming Von Hohenheim didn't do wrong against Trisha and his kids. As much as he had to build the anti-circle around Amestris, it doesn't erase the fact that Trisha had to shoulder the full burden of raising their kids, and child Ed's sense of abandonment and outrage against him is highly warranted.

Even keeping Father as a homunculus that duplicates Hohenheim's appearance, he still could have been an interesting character and villain. But every step of the way he was just the obvious big bad mostly relegated to the background, stored away except for a few key encounters and flashbacks. He was paper thin, an easy excuse for why the core ills of Amestris are all his exclusive fault, and conveniently the canon has an in-baked reason for why he has the personality and stage presence of cardboard. Woo. hoo.

God the lore and function of homunculi blows in mangahood. At the very least make me actually feel like they are parts of this once former-cyclops in a bottle! And still make Father an actually compelling character! In fact the other homunculi could have potentially been an effective vehicle for that, but noooooo-

Honestly, I agree. It would have been so much more affecting for Hohenheim and Father to be one, singular character. Of course much of his backstory would have to change, but that's not a loss in my hater's opinion. The implications for the Elrics, for their paradigms to be entirely torn asunder and have to be rebuilt in order to survive and make sense out of their position in Amestris, it would have been juicy.

You're right, I have seen next to no deeper interest or investment into Father as a character and as a narrative device from hardcore fans either. I'm sure it does exist, given Brotherhood's immense popularity, but damn if we can be forgiven for getting the impression that most fans just don't give a rat's unseasoned ass. I see more posts and fanart for Von Hohenheim than I do Father lol

Mangahood simply can't have (or actually address) any truly murky topics, or depict messy and complex characterization, if it doesn't ultimately shine the brightest, most admirable, most absolving light on our protags as possible. So why would Von Hohenheim have anything to do with Father besides having been his victim?

We remain starved by the emaciated, sorry excuse for 'pathos' that is Father's whole deal. What a shame.

[tqmies]

hiiii! may i request for an nsfw kai x reader f2l with prompt 13 and/or 16? 🙏🙏🙏

Touch | Hueningkai

Part of Tqmies 1K Event!

NSFW , friends to lovers, 16. “Can you stop moaning? I’m trying to help you relax but you’re making it hard for me to concentrate.” “Sorry, your hands just work a little too good.” “I’m going to pay for a masseuse next time if you keep doing this.” wc: 1.01k warnings: sub!hyuka, whining, hand job note: on my hyuka agenda rn !! thank you for requesting :D picked 16 for this one because it felt like it worked better & remember as always, MDNI

"Can you help me with something?" You spoke absentmindedly, Kai looking up from his phone.

"Sure?" He agrees, though he doesn't expect you to hand him a bottle of lotion. And he's even more confused when you start taking your shirt off, the tips of his ears growing bright red, he hopes you don't notice.

You don't though, seemingly by how you have no reaction to him, though he's still really lost. Not that he's mad though, who wouldn't want their crush standing shirtless in front of them?

Even if said crush was his best friend, who was strictly off limits?

He was just a man after all. Eh, he's going to let himself look, even if he felt slightly guilty eyeing you up like this. "What's going on?"

You shrug, "My back hurts, I could use a massage."

He fumbles with his hands, looking down. "And what's the lotion for?"

"So it can go smoother." You quip, taken about by Hueningkai's sudden confusion, but he's normally like this. "I've been super stressed with work, so you're doing me a solid."

He was going to have to touch you? While you were shirtless? Several alarm bells and warning signs were ringing in his poor little head, what if he couldn't help himself? What if he ruined your friendship? What if you hated him forever and threw him out of your house right now?

"Hyuka." You interrupt his thoughts, touching his thighs. When did your hands get there? He's two seconds away from exploding. "Open your legs so I can sit between them."

It just kept getting worse, and he swore his patience was running out. "O-okay." He nods, moving like you asked and you plop right between his mysteriously muscular thighs? Had he been working out, and more so, how had you not noticed?

You straighten yourself, before reaching behind you. "Lotion."

He just hands it to you wordlessly, and you grab his hand from your side, pumping it into his palm. The thick white liquid covering his hand and he can't help but feel flushed at the action.

"Go ahead," You smile, letting yourself sink into the comfort of his lap.

Behind you, the males flustered as his hands begin to hesitantly work your shoulders. You sigh in content and he takes that as a good sign as he continues to lightly press on the area.

And true to his thoughts, you felt his hands were working little less than actual magic. You felt better already, and it had been two minutes. Meanwhile, he was anything but relaxed. In fact, with how tense his shoulders felt, he figured he could give you a run for your money.

He keeps his composure though, falling into a sense of normalacy with an otherwise intimate action.

Then you start whimpering.

They're low at first, small noises falling past your flush lips as hes thanking every star above that you can't see his face.

"Feels so good." You slur out, tilting your head back in pure bliss.

Hueningkai thinks he might die.

You groan out once again, tone high. "You're doing so well."

Hueningkai moves his hands off, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants.

"Why'd you stop?" You pout, looking behind you.

Because! He thinks. If I have to sit here listening to you make those noises, I'm for sure going to pop a boner! Also I have the fattest crush on you and think of you in a way friends never should.

But he can't say that. So he opts for crossing his arms. "Can you stop moaning? I’m trying to help you relax but you’re making it hard for me to concentrate.”

“Sorry, your hands just work a little too good.” You reply, embarrassed as you rub the back of your neck.

“I’m going to pay for a masseuse next time if you keep doing this.”

"It's okay." You nod as he places his hands on your back again. "I'll take whatever you give me."

Goodness, would you stop with the innuendos?! You're making it really hard to hold back!

"Hold back?" You ask, a smirk growing on your face.

Had he said that out loud?

"Oh- um, I just meant-" He stammers looking for an excuse, for any way to cover this up.

You turn to face him, hands placed on both his thighs as you watch his face go pale. "Meant what?"

He winces as you lean in. The words slip out under your hardening gaze. "Hold back.. all the things I want to do with you."

"Really?" You tease. "Like what?"

And he notices the way your hands trail up his thighs, your palm pressing onto his clothed hard-on as he thrashes to your touch.

"W-well, want to touch you." He admits.

"Like how I'm touching you?"

"More," He breathes heavily. "Want you to use me."

"Use you?!" You ask, fake gasping as you pretend to be scandalized. Your words not matching your actions as you tug his sweatpants down.

"What're you doing-"

"Keep talking or I'll stop."

"Fuck," He whimpers as you free his hard cock from is confines. Barely enough so the fat head can protrude out. "Wanted this for so long."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm, yes." He nods his head, tears forming in his eyes as you rub your thumb over the slit on his dick. "Want you to do what you want to me. Want to be on my knees for you everyday. Want to fuck until our legs are sore."

"Poor baby," You shake your head. "You say you wanted this but I've been waiting for so long. I'm here throwing myself at you and yet no response, I had to make the first move. You've been so oblivious this whole time."

"I'm sorry!" He throws his head back as you continue to move your hand up and down his shaft. He's pretty incoherent as he can feel drool pooling from his mouth, your vice grip being the only thing on his mind. "I'll make it up to you."

"Oh I know you will."

[chronicsyd]

I'm gonna say something that Might sound a little bananas but I at least need you to hear me out. okay?

This scene:

is Not happening directly after Fishbone's explosion of the council. Although it does seem to look like it (seems to be same time of day/night/whatever, the red hues fit, people running in panic would be a reasonable reaction to the council building exploding, etc.) but the few things that were throwing me off were things like "ok then, where the hell's Caitlyn?" (because Vi was practically dragging an injured Caitlyn from the mad tea party) Vi might have set her down to check out the scene closer, maybe? but there was still something drastically throwing me off about this scene and then it dawned on me. It's Vi's face.

in ep 9 Vi has dirt and scuffs on her face you can clearly see it. and if the scene above were happening Immediately post Fishbones it would be more likely that Vi would still have that stuff there. it's not like she'd take a pit stop to wash her face after a disaster like That.

So what does this mean? Well, i think that first scene actually coheres with this one:

because it also looks to be the same time, the dust in the air in both scenes matches and Vi would Absolutely be running if she heard that Caitlyn were fighting something like That.

just a small tadbit that supports this that I JUST realized is that that's an overhead shot of the Kiramman tent from ep 4.

so Caitlyn and the other Enforcers are being ambushed by the Chemtank-things (do these guys have a name?) in her own parents Tent (this would Also explain why people would be running out in a panic, their tent was a pretty public place) also judging by the look on Caitlyn's face she Clearly wasn't expecting this (one of the most "WTF?!" looks i think I've ever seen)

(this also kinda fits with my "Caitlyn and Vi break up again in Act 1" theory for S2. Also, i Promise this is the last thing I'm spamming for right now. i just really needed to get this out there. kay bye!)

[the-way-astray]

It's the Never Change Anon again! Enjoy!

—————

Title: Never Change chapter 2

Pairing: Stria x Keefe

—————

"I'm still waiting for you to tell me who Shannon is."

"Your mind might explode."

Keefe raised an eyebrow, looking genuinely insulted. "I think you'd be surprised what I can handle."

Well, insulting him was the goal, so Stria felt no remorse. "Trust me, you can't handle this. I'm really just protecting you." Stria smiled warmly and sweetly, her face the perfect picture of someone looking out for a friend. Keefe rolled his eyes, and Stria laughed internally. Maybe she should call him sweetie next time. His eyes might pop out of his head.

"Well, most of this is just you being upset about my sense of humor," Keefe said, a very true statement. Stria nodded. "I am quite funny, if I do say so myself."

"Stop saying so yourself. Please. That's, like, half the problem with your humor. Not only are you not funny, but you're vocal about how funny you think you are. It's unbearable."

"That's an opinion," Keefe defended. Somehow, he'd been miffed enough by most of the essay that she hadn't had to endure his ridiculous smirk even once since they'd gotten their smoothies. "One most people disagree with."

"Yeah, because Shannon decided to write that for some reason."

"What the hell does this Shannon person have to do with anything?!"

Stria smiled sweetly again, tilting her head. "Don't worry your pretty little head about it."

"Excuse me?"

Stria was internally cackling. He looked so frustrated. This was amazing. "You heard me."

"You're a very unpleasant person," Keefe said, crossing his arms.

"I'm not trying to make this date pleasant."

Oh no. Now she was having to deal with the smirk again. Dang it. Could they go back to her needling him? That was fun! "Thought you said it wasn't a date."

"It isn't."

"But you just said it was."

"This date, as in, a day on the calendar," Stria said. Truthfully, it had been a slip of the tongue, and she wasn't sure where it came from. She just hadn't known how else to refer to what they were doing, though she could think of a few better options than date now that she was actually considering it. "It's always a date. You can wipe that smirk off your face."

"I don't think I will." His smirk grew. Ugh. He was the worst.

Well. She'd just have to wipe it off for him, then. "Fine. Guess it's time for us to get back to the things I hate about you. Where were we again? Oh, yes! The way you always push until you get what you want. I'm even enabling you by being here right now, but it's worth it, because I get to rant to you. Why do you not take no for an answer? You help Sophie, not by choice. She thinks it's easier to just tell you what you want to hear than argue with you. There's citations on the sheet!"

"What are you citing?!"

Stria brought back the sweet smile. "None of your concern."

"Will you cut that out?!"

"I don't plan to."

Keefe groaned. "You can at least explain this to me." He was pointing to something on the sheet, and Stria leaned in to see what it said.

“‘Is it okay if I enter your mind?’ Fitz asked. ‘Dude, do you realize how creepy that sounds?’ Keefe interrupted. ‘It’s less creepy than reading her feelings all the time without telling her,’ Fitz argued. ‘Hey, it’s not like I try to do that! You’re just mad that Foster can’t hide things from me.’” (144) Keefe gets bored, so he interrupts Sophie and Fitz’s cognate training for no reason. You know, because he’s incapable of keeping his nose out of others’ business for two seconds. And not only that, he has the audacity to say he doesn’t try to read Sophie’s emotions. Sure, he’s not doing it all the time, every time, but he does it when he feels she’s hiding something.

"I think I explained it pretty well on the paper," Stria said simply, internally cackling at the way he looked genuinely offended.

"Aside from the fact that I have no clue how you're quoting conversations you were not there for and still won't explain what those numbers mean, I don't try to read Sophie's emotions! They're just loud!"

Stria pointed to the last sentence of the section he'd indicated, not about to waste her breath repeating something she'd already said.

"Uh, I feel that she's hiding something the same way I feel all the rest of her feelings: by accident!"

"Sure."

"It's like you're deliberately trying to misunderstand me!" Keefe exclaimed.

"On the contrary. I think I understand you quite well." Stria crossed her arms. "As you can see, I know far more about you than you might anticipate, and suffice to say, I don't like what I know."

"Okay, no. You don't get to just pretend you know me because you've seem some weird written account of all my conversations!" Keefe snapped. "You don't like my personality? Fine! My friends do. Friends being Fitz, Dex, Sophie... yes, they roll their eyes and tease me about it, because we are friends. If they didn't like me, they wouldn't hang out with me!"

"Wow, you really need to believe that, don't you?" Stria remarked.

Keefe grit his teeth. "I don't know how you know these things. I don't know why you're so sure you understand me, when none of these weird quotes are in my perspective."

"Your perspective is worse, trust me."

"My point is, you think you have me all figured out, and you're wrong."

Stria shrugged. "If you're so sure, why should you care?"

"Because you think the worst of everything I do! It isn't fair!"

"I only do that because everyone else thinks the best of everything you do!"

"That isn't even true!" Keefe exclaimed, exasperated. "Look, I'm not about to get into details about my personal relationships to some girl I barely know, but there's a lot more than what you've got written down on this paper. And if you think everyone just loves me and everything I do all the time, you're wrong."

Stria almost retorted, but something about this particular brand of exasperation that he was showing made her stop. There was something oddly vulnerable about it, and she was surprised Keefe wasn't covering it up with atrocious jokes. Or maybe they were past that stage, since he had some idea that she'd a good deal of his life. "Of course your friends love you," she admitted instead. The shock on his face when she admitted it was almost as good as his earlier fury. Not quite. But almost. "That's not what I'm saying."

"Then what are you saying?'

"There's people... it doesn't really matter to you, actually." She didn't need to explain to him about the Pinterest KOTLC fandom. Especially since she wasn't telling him who Shannon Messenger was.

"I think it matters a lot, actually."

"Yeah, well, I'm the one who knows it, and you don't, so it's up to me whether or not it matters to you, actually."

"It's my life, you know," Keefe snapped. "If you know all this random stuff about it that I don't, you should probably tell me."

"Trust me—"

"I don't. You sound like the Fork man when he's trying to convince Sophie she doesn't need to know who her parents are."

Stria blinked.

Really? He was going to make that comparison?

"Want to know who your parents are?" Stria offered, deliberately misinterpreting the quesiton. "Their names are—"

"I'm good, thanks."

And... now he really didn't look like himself. Maybe bringing up his parents was a bad idea. Stria didn't like him very much, but she took that particular sore spot of his very seriously. "Sorry."

"For what?"

Nope. He wasn't getting any more of an apology out of her than that. He was really good at getting people to feel bad for him, wasn't he? "We should probably get going," Stria said curtly. "I'm out of smoothie."

Keefe sighed, standing up. "Okay. Want to do this again sometime?"

Stria blinked slowly.

Then again.

Then again.

Then, "I'm sorry, did you just say you want to do this again?"

"Yep."

Okay, Stria was at a complete loss. "Why?!"

"I don't know. I hate talking to you. I hate the way this stupid essay trivializes things I genuinely struggle with." He absentmindedly traced his hand over one of the passages still on the table, and Stria glanced at it, wondering what he was talking about.

“‘And Fitz isn’t perfect, by the way.’ ‘He’s close enough.’” (238) No??? Nobody is. And here’s a fine example of another forced consolation scene. Keefe lathers it up with the self-pity and feeling sorry for himself, and later on down the road, Shannon realizes that and her solution to that particular problem is hilariously atrocious. I’m writing this quote in blue so that it’s easy to come back to later, because I’m going to talk about it once we get there. But for now: Keefe’s personal pity party is clearly only there to make the audience pity him. All he’s doing right now is acting weirdly whiny and jealous of Fitz for . . . being “perfect”? Which again, jealousy is natural. But Keefe has never in his life tried to achieve perfection, and has in fact always tried to do the exact opposite, so why would he be jealous of Fitz for being perfect all of a sudden? It’s completely out of character for him. Shannon. You can’t just make Keefe jealous of Fitz for the sake of being jealous of Fitz because you want a forced consolation scene. It has to make sense. Keefe would never be jealous of Fitz for this particular reason. Keefe doesn’t try to be perfect at all. Why would he care that Fitz is “perfect”?

"I think I make a good point in that passage."

Keefe laughed mirthlessly, shaking his head. "Like I said, you don't know me half as well as you think you do."

Whatever. They didn't need to keep arguing over this. "Okay then. Let's say I don't know you at all and nothing in this essay matters."

"Which is true," Keefe agreed.

"Why on Earth would you want to do this again?"

"You're just..." Keefe pressed his lips together, studying her for a moment. "You're so... different."

Stria barked out a laugh. "Oh. Oh, you did not just say that. You did not just say I'm not like other girls. I can't do this."

"Why do you have a problem with everything I say?"

"Shannon really made you like this, huh? She did. She literally did. I mean, I'm actually not that surprised, but wow. Wow."

Keefe rolled his eyes. "Oh no, me having my own personality. I can practically feel you burning with hatred."

"I am," Stria agreed.

"So are we on for next weekend?"

And for the same inexplicable reason Keefe wanted to see her again despite his fury, Stria agreed. "Fine. But we're getting milkshakes next time."

—————

I'd love to see people's guesses on who I am.

Yours are fascinating. I see an anon is fully convinced that I am Katie. I will admit, I have read fanfiction by Katie before, and Katie's writing style for KOTLC is similar to Shannon's in a lot of ways, so I've consumed a lot of KOTLC in the style in which I write it.

Perhaps I am Katie. Aren't we all Katie?

Sorry for quoting your essay twice, but it seemed like the best way to get into your head for this. I look forward to your response!

not breaking this down like i did with part one, that would simply take far too long. the people have spoken! they want more never change. anon, you're popular lmfao.

and it seems there are some people that are super invested in this, so i can create a taglist, if anyone wants to be added.

you get notes instead of a breakdown this time:

""I'm still waiting for you to tell me who Shannon is." "Your mind might explode."" it's hilarious that i refuse to tell him who shannon is . . . you should make me tell him in a future chapter. that would be so funny

not the condescending sweetie/sweet smiling/"don't worry your pretty little head over it" . . . lmfaooooo i don't do that on principle but it seems like something keefe would do. so i understand where the sentiment comes from

"Stria was internally cackling." WRONG! i was externally cackling. it was a bit concerning if i'm being honest

""I'm not trying to make this date pleasant."" did i just slip . . . i don't slip . . . not like this . . .

"You help Sophie, not by choice. She thinks it's easier to just tell you what you want to hear than argue with you. There's citations on the sheet!" there is in fact citations on the sheet. many, many citations on the sheet. anon, you're doing a fantastic job of reminding me why i hate canon keefe. also sophie exists in this strieefe fic???? where my rant where i criticize sokeefe exists? how does that work? what does she think of me?

ooooooh, you really should've had me bring up the keefe grabbing people's hands to read their emotions, including sophie herself

""It's like you're deliberately trying to misunderstand me!" Keefe exclaimed." you're making me mad at a version of keefe that isn't even technically canon anon you're working magic here

""Wow, you really need to believe that, don't you?" Stria remarked." truly i do believe keefe's friends like him. i just think that was a poor writing choice on shannon's part

""Your perspective is worse, trust me."" very much agreed. the way he thinks of sophie in his head disturbs me a bit. also fitz. but sadly i haven't gotten there yet. anon, does the physical copy i handed keefe contain the part two excerpt i released?

""Because you think the worst of everything I do! It isn't fair!"" that's not true, not that keefe would know that . . .

""Look, I'm not about to get into details about my personal relationships to some girl I barely know, but there's a lot more than what you've got written down on this paper. And if you think everyone just loves me and everything I do all the time, you're wrong."" sir . . . who initiated this again . . . anon, fantastic job making him as annoying as possible. also did keefe read my disclaimers. i specifically stated that i was only listing the bad things about him. tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk keefe. i expect better next time

"Stria almost retorted, but something about this particular brand of exasperation that he was showing made her stop. There was something oddly vulnerable about it [ . . . ]" yeah i would not care. tear the man to shreds. only time i care is when his abusive parents are brought up. i have some decency, i suppose

""Of course your friends love you [ . . . ]"" wait did i contradict myself. didn't i say that keefe needed to believe that before? was i trying to be purposefully mean? doing character analysis on myself like hmmmmm

"She didn't need to explain to him about the Pinterest KOTLC fandom. Especially since she wasn't telling him who Shannon Messenger was." NOT THE KOTLC PINTEREST FANDOM GOODBYE. ANON I'M WHEEZING. also i should tell him who shannon messenger is. i think it would be so funny

""It's my life, you know," Keefe snapped. "If you know all this random stuff about it that I don't, you should probably tell me."" actually it's sophie's life . . . why didn't i tell him that . . . and it's not his entire life it's just the things i hate with a passion :) hope this helps :)

"You sound like the Fork man when he's trying to convince Sophie she doesn't need to know who her parents are."" honestly? fair. i should tell him who shannon messenger is and watch his head explode. it would be funny

"Stria didn't like him very much, but she took that particular sore spot of his very seriously." well, clearly anon knows me decently well. this isn't helping the katie allegations

keefe: want to do this again sometime? also keefe, when he's forced to justify: ""I don't know. I hate talking to you. I hate the way this stupid essay trivializes things I genuinely struggle with."" like, sir???? that's not helping my confusion here. for what and why

wondering how you chose those two passages in particular right now. was there a reason or did you just decide to pick two at random?

""Okay then. Let's say I don't know you at all and nothing in this essay matters."" and then i walked out. the end. just kidding

NOT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS I'M SCREAMING

""Why do you have a problem with everything I say?"" i don't, but i appreciate the unreliable narration. there are points (in everblaze, mostly) where keefe is genuinely funny

WAIT I JUST REALIZED. my rant is categorized by book. so keefe would be confused about seeing the titles, too, right? unless this canon has the rant not having the titles or something somehow

""Shannon really made you like this, huh? She did. She literally did. I mean, I'm actually not that surprised, but wow. Wow."" me when shannon writes keefe for real

""Oh no, me having my own personality. I can practically feel you burning with hatred."" not the problem. the problem is that his personality is a cringy dumpster fire :) hope this helps, keefe :)

"And for the same inexplicable reason Keefe wanted to see her again despite his fury, Stria agreed." hello i don't like how this is ending in a very unreliable narration implication way again, anon

MILKSHAKES!!!! WOO HOO!!!!

i'm hesitant to say katie is my top suspect anymore, but clearly whoever wrote this knows my brand of keefe haterism pretty well. but also isa, who's katie's best fandom friend, and at least one, possibly two, other anons think it's her. hmm. hmmmmmmm. i honestly have no idea who you could possibly be at this point, but. i guess we'll see . . . assuming you're planning on spilling the beans at some point

@myfairkatiecat tagging you again so you can either defend or implicate yourself, whichever one

the essay quoting was good :) you should keep doing it :)