#i'm pretty sure i stopped making sense
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hate that kevriko is a rarepair, i really feel like so many of their interactions are so juicy and full of worthwhile discussions that for some reason nobody wants to indulge
i def think that rikos anger at jean was less bc of him LOOKING at kevin and more so that he was looking at KEVIN
anyway if you have thoughts and feelings to share, pls do
thank you for this ask<3 also you're so right. we don't talk about kevriko as a ship enough when there's a lot to think about there. (i am guilty of this too)
the interesting thing about kevriko is that they're almost exactly like the kind queerbaiting couple you'd have seen in late 2000's media. (1) there were so many shows with characters that had an undeniably deep and intimate connection with each other that was also really fucked-up and we, the audience, were expected to believe these were the actions of fully heterosexual men who, at best, hated each other. yeah, that's what nora has effectively created with kevriko.
i'm not saying kevriko is intentional queerbaiting; i just mean the ambiguous and open-ended nature of their relationship lends itself well to speculations about what they really felt for each other.
i'm guessing people don't ship kevriko much because it is very much a toxic and abusive relationship made worse by the horrible environment they were living in. i think there is a lot of reluctance to engage with the topic of textual abusive queer relationships. i think people are drawn to the idea of nice, healthy, wholesome queer relationships in media and shy away from ships that can't fit into that mold. which is interesting because that's not at all different from how the general public treated people who shipped those kinds of canonically straight characters with antagonistic, homoerotic relationships back then. there was always this sense of like, "why would you want to ship that when there are all these other better ships available?" why would you want to imagine a gay relationship when it's so bad and toxic when there are other more socially acceptable ships available? only real difference is that, back then "socially acceptable" strongly meant "straight". i guess what i'm saying is that it feels like people would rather kevin and riko be straight and not at all emotionally attached because that would make their relationship straightforward and palatable. it would frame them as captor and prisoner longing for escape, rather than something horrible and ugly and uncomfortably involved.
but ok let's just talk about the elephant in the room: was riko obsessively in love with kevin and repressing it?
yeah. probably. yes. in tgr, it's pretty clear that riko was insanely possessive of kevin and responded jealously whenever another man dared to get close to kevin. "but was it love?" i hear people ask. or was it selfishness, obsession, and codependency? does it really matter what you call it? it amounts to the same thing in the end.
if we can accept that andreil's relationship doesn't fit into the traditional mold of "romantic relationship" but is still intimate and loving nonetheless, then we should be able to accept that kevriko doesn't fit into the traditional mold of "abusive romantic relationship" but is nonetheless, built around emotional involvement and intimate partner abuse.
lots of works show these same aspects of an abusive relationship, but what aftg does that feels different is that it puts focus on the "relationship" aspect. simply put, aftg doesn't try to eliminate the emotional attachment kevin and riko have to each other in order paint a more stark line between victim and abuser as if attempting to signal to the audience the writer knows this relationship is Bad and Irredeemable. aftg acknowledges that being in an abusive relationship requires a heavy emotional investment on both sides.
it took emotional investment for riko to hold kevin that close and it took emotional investment for kevin to choose to stay for as long as he did. yes, there is also an element of one party having the power to enforce a relationship on their terms. but if it were as simple as seeing the power balance imbalance and thinking, "i don't have to put up with this shit anymore!" like an employee quitting their shitty job and shitty boss, then beating riko and the ravens in the finals would have fixed kevin. and we can see in tgr that it very much has not. there isn't an absence of feeling in abusive relationships. there isn't an absence of desire to be together. that's what makes extricating oneself from the them so hard.
riko was undoubtedly deeply attached to kevin and built all his future dreams around the idea that kevin would be at his side exactly where he wants him to be. he could not let go of kevin even after kevin left and he continued to act as if kevin was going to come back to him as soon as he destroyed the foxes and everything would be back on track. in a similar way, kevin has trouble letting go of riko after riko dies. we see him in tgr still pursuing excellence (exy-llence?) and fixating hard on the dream of playing in the olympics as if he's determined to carry him and riko's dream to the finish line on his own - to prove that he could do what riko could never could, alone. denying the awful emotional aspect of kevin and riko's relationship ignores the fact that being together fucked them up and that kevin is still left trying to disentangle himself from that mess.
(1) the example that springs to mind is Heroes. does anyone remember the show Heroes? sylar/mohinder, you'll always be famous to me. basically, sylar is a serial killer who is able to steal the superpower of the people he kills and mohinder is the researcher studying superpowers and this serial killer. there's one insane scene where sylar calls mohinder in distress and says shakily, "i think i did something bad," and mohinder, without missing a beat, shoots back, "you're a serial killer; you don't get the benefit of the doubt." and then there's a bit of back and forth where sylar is pleading with mohinder to just help him somehow because mohinder is the only one he can trust. and we were supposed to believe those two were heterosexual men who did not like each other at all. yeah that's how bad queerbaiting was back then.
#i'm pretty sure i stopped making sense#but oh well#if anyone comes at me for “justifying abuse” or whatever be warned#you may active another unskippable cutscene#asked and answered
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Oh oof I slipped and hit them with dark and serious beam. 😣
#connverse#Connie Maheswaran#Steven Quartz Universe#Steven Universe#This had been WIP for almost a year and has been edited a bit some days ago#I did not pick up on it now to see if I can edit further though. I'm just going to leave this at that#This was inspired by a dream I had about watching a post-apocalyptic(?) anime movie about two survivors going through their lives#Apologies if that one was yapped before in this blog. Trying to keep repeating statements already mentioned before is a habit I hope to avo#Anyway. It was almost a dialogue-less movie. actually not sure if the characters did say anything#The movie doesn't explain stuff to you. You just got dropped in a world and experience with the main characters for a few days#In the dream after watching that movie I went to Tumblr (naturally. Lol) and theories about it popped out#And there was a connverse cross-over fanart of it. Lmao#One of the main characters was EXTREMELY calm and stoic. And the connverse AU version of it was that's because Steven is in a comma and his#Pink mode activated as a defense mechanism against the creatures around while in such a state. 😭 So Pink Steven from Change Your Mind#And like. Oh? What if he's conscious? He's just watching his body have a mind of it's own and he can't control it? That's kinda terrifying#And of course like most of my dreams about shows I enjoy. I woke up before I could dream more about it. 😵#my shiz#skedoobles#SU#SU AU#also implied Pink Steven I guess#pink Steven#I rage-stopped drawing this because I know what needed to be fixing but the fixing I've been doing isn't fixing it. Lol#I'm specially frustrated with Connie's bangs and eyes. And like. Man. I'm just going to stop it right there before I make it worse.#It does make sense she has a bad haircut given the dream's setting. But it was not decided that was exactly what this drawing is about.#Also I'd imagine Steven to be having a full beard if that was the case.#Anyway enough yapping I have to get some sleep. Lol#Ohmygod just realizeddd. the in-dream movie sounded like I was describing 'Angel's Egg' jshsjajdbdjfbskkd Haven't seen that film in a while#My dream's movie had a Studio Ghibli artstyle and pretty colorful. But I would actually really like the somber vibes in Angel's Egg#for this AU though. 🤔🤩🤩
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and you may say to yourself: "my god! what have i done?" and you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful wife!" and you may tell yourself: "this is not my beautiful house!" and you may ask yourself: "well, how did i get here?"
time isn't holding up, time isn't after us, time is a pony ride! (images described in alt text)
#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#LETTING THE [FIDDLEFORD FRI]DAYS GO BY#“sir it's tuesday” i know. my computer has been busted for two weeks so i couldn't post them when i wanted to. just let me have this#again still new to alt text. i like being a little bit silly but let me know if it gets in the way of accessibility#artwork of the damned#uhhhh yeah this is actually something ive kind of wanted to draw for years now#favorite guy + favorite band = prime high-effort meme material#also. for the record. yes i have a mcgucket playlist. yes it has three talking heads songs on it. no none of them are “once in a lifetime”#also also i know that the lyrics in the description are in the wrong order. it's on purpose. i put them backwards for dramatic effect#also also also i'm pretty sure the “time is a pony ride” line is not actually sung on the album version of the track#but if you listen to/watch the live version from “stop making sense” you will hear it!#as well as hear a much more satisfying ending to the song imo. rather than it just fading out it has some really nice vocals#basically the moral of this story is you should watch “stop making sense”#if you made it to the end of the tags: congrats! you win a prize! the prize is permission to reblog this post
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I love how people are only ever interested in defending Arya's right to be weird-looking. It's never defending her intelligence from people who claim she's incapable of thinking for herself, highlighting her importance to the plot and refusing to see her as just a prop, acknowledging how much of her story gets stolen and given to other characters, talking about her trauma or how often it gets erased and overlooked, seeing her as more than just an attack dog/bodyguard, etc. Nope. It's just a "why can't people let Arya be ugly/unconventional looking? :(" post every other week because people are, for whatever reason, obsessed with how Arya is visually perceived. One of the most misinterpreted characters yet the issue is only ever with her being portrayed as "too pretty" or the wrong "type" of pretty. This fandom will entirely rewrite a character's motivations, values, and role in the story to the point that they consider references to canon "hate" but! The true injustice to canon is we acknowledge that she is described as pretty several times. Arya simply existing as her pretty, important, and non-conforming self is too complex and confusing for people to comprehend 😔.
#arya stark#asoiaf#fandom nonsense#how can Arya be considered pretty?! she's literally non-conforming?? being pretty belongs to /feminine/ female characters...right? 😱#I feel like these people tell on themselves with how much they value beauty because they make it /such/ a big deal#when her self-esteem issues regarding being a lady are infinitely more relevant to her story (and more interesting to discuss)#her being mocked for having the Stark look is a supporting story element that also reinforces her being an outcast considering#her mother + all of her trueborn siblings have a southern look and she was raised with southern standards#not to mention her non-conformity and often messy appearance heavily impacted how her looks were perceived#George writes Arya's non-conformity as parallel to traditional femininity so it makes sense that beauty is one of those aspects he subverts#(also why it makes sense that her future includes accepting her identity as a Lady while redefining the role but that's off topic)#this is why you need to look at the writing instead of judging based on the /type/ of character you think Arya is#and! it's truly not that serious 😭 I'm sure it will be a plot point eventually but it's not 98% of her story like these people pretend#Arya is such an interesting + well-written character but we constantly get people rewriting her and nonsense discourse around her looks#such rich material and all you can say is that she's an /odd-looking feral gremlin/ and I'm supposed to take your opinion seriously#at this point the obsession with Arya being /weird/ looking has to be some projection of personal self-esteem issues#there's no way /this/ is the hill you're willing to die on with all the terrible takes about Arya from this fandom#wish people who didn't care about her would just stop bringing her up so we could have our discussions about her in peace
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Getting super ill to the point that I can't write fic just after I regained the ability to do prose again wasn't on my 2025 bingo card, and yet
#Just had my doc dismiss the hell out of me too so RIP#They're pursuing SOME diagnostic paths#But not the ones I'm pretty sure I need#I even have a diagnosed condition that may be causing it!!!#But nope!#After I suggested I thought of that as an option too#Guess what they stopped pursuing#I am. So tired#This is all I've got man#My body barely functions as is#Anyway#HAOHB is completely written so it will be finished#But that might be it from me#I can't focus idk if this even makes sense#Cool cool cool#I keep hoping it'll magically just be the worst flu of my life and I'll get better#Yadda yadda
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Kinda rude that I'm not sat in someone's lap right now making out with them for hours, like just need to be touched and kissed 'til I'm breathless and my mind's all fuzzy, please and thank you
#bonus points if you suck a few (or a lot) of hickeys into my neck#why am i exposing how touch starved i am#also just because i'm feeling a little soft and subby rn doesn't mean i won't turn the tables once i've had my fill#will happily return the favour and leave that someone all messy and marked up as well#right i need to stop rambling#'cause i'm pretty sure it makes less and less sense with each word#anyway#kissing#making out#mine
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It really sucks being the only one in the house that cares about something. Like, I get it's trivial, which is why I don't say anything, but god damn.
I want so badly to just stand in the middle of the living room and say "you have your own goddamn dishes. Please stop using mine."
it's just so fucking annoying to go into the cabinet to grab something and it's not there, because it's in the sink covered in gross remnants of food and germy dishwater. And I have a few things that have special significance or sentimental value to me that I'd rather not get touched at all but I have nowhere else but the kitchen to put them. Even sticking them in a separate cabinet away from everything like them hasn't helped. Stocking the main cabinet with things that are just as useful that I care less about doesn't help. All I want to do is scream at them HANDS OFF. GRAB SOMETHING ELSE. but the two things I'm most pissed off about aren't even fragile or expensive. their cheapness was actually kind of the point. their sole purpose is for a tradition my sister and I have and every time I see them dirty and thrown carelessly on the counter or in the sink I want to fucking scream.
#life shit#ali rants#i am aware i'm being dumb#that's why i'm only saying it here#just needed to get it out of my head#ugh#roommates#well...roommate#sis is a slob but if pretty good about using her own stuff#and she may not share my obsessive connection to those two cups#but she gets their significance#our roommate on the other hand#has no idea#and i'd feel stupid bringing it up#'hey these cheap plastic cups are only for nye'#'they mean a lot to me'#'please stop FUCKING TOUCHING THEM'#yeah that'll go over well#and make SO much sense i'm sure
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#after uh. not enjoying hornblower: loyalty all that much I finally watched hornblower: duty#and enjoyed it a lot more. I think there's meta there with mutiny/retribution#I gather they were sort of not allowed to mention kennedy but you know that makes sense in-universe.#horatio isn't allowed to mention him either. not really. and I do think he'd clam up about him. that's horatio all over#but you can't convince me that survivor's guilt of his is only over bracegirdle#(bracegirdle makes it worse obviously)#also his letting doughty off really makes me want it to have been him that pushed sawyer#I always want it to have been him just because so much of his later career either makes more sense or has additional dramatic irony#if he knows himself to be an unhanged mutineer#BUT he doesn't have to have actually done it. he just has to THINK he is guilty#for instance - recently aubreysmaturin made a pretty good case for it having been Wellard in the books#but if it's Wellard--then Horatio's gone down a path of 'I was his senior officer I was responsible to have stopped him I wanted Sawyer dea#so basically I am guilty' - because again that is what it is to be a Horatio Hornblower.#(in fact another clue pointing to Wellard is that the universe always seems to bend to keep Hornblower's hands clean#like that time he lied that the war was over only to later find out that in fact unbeknownst to him it was over.#he gets the thing he guiltily wanted and he gets it without actually doing the guilty thing and so no one will blame him#except his own conscience)#anyway that's the books. I don't think it was Wellard in the show#I'm not sure what I think happened in the show#but whatever it was Horatio *feels* responsible#I'm not saying that's *why* he let Doughty off but I think there's a kind of secret symmetry there#hornblower
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ironic considering that i'm a pretty staunch catholic but the interpretation of who the archangels are that i fuck with the most is actually the islamic tradition of michael, gabriel, rafael, and azrael
#personal#it's the one that makes the most sense#muslims were cooking with that one and the church must take yet another l (and we take so many)#i vastly prefer azrael over uriel as the fourth archangel#in general i also just really appreciate the islamic interpretation of the four archangels too#but that's purely from a narrative/anthropological standpoint#cuz as we all know when it comes to belief i am as i mentioned a pretty staunch catholic#the church takes l after l but it is my church nonetheless#(which is why i'd like for it to stop being two steps forward one step back half the time it cannot possibly be this hard)#(but at least conclave is giving us some good press even tho i'm sure some adult convert weirdos are being bizarre about it)
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close your eyes, don't you ever look back
for @daydadahlias
#i'm not sure how this came abt#it's not what i had in mind at ALL when i started#like. it's so orange#what's that abt#anyways#it's for u jess <33#i hope the vibes are pretty self explanatory#but i was sticking to the idea of cashton on a roadtrip and ashton is Armed and Prepared with a camera#and these are the things he would take photos of#basically#i actually have no idea if this even makes sense so i will stop talking now#hope u like it jess ily <33#cashton#my moodboard#calum#ashton#gonna go pass out now goodbye to my headache im outta here#e*creations
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another day another thought about how literally all they needed to do to make the maud plotline make sense. before even making it Better. is to simply have her not go to anybody's house other than aurora's
#likeeee put those scenarios in public please!#idk what happens with the drexels line that's likely to be a loose thread foreverrrr i simply doubt that any of s2 will be meaningfully add#would this have made it more difficult to put together a shocking and high impact plotline. maybe idk.#but i for one like when my period dramas do things that could happen in real life and work within the bounds of their universe.......#with consistent internal logic......#when the entire foundation of society is that everybody cares about everybody else's family origins.....#there's a reason nobody did this successfully in real life!#idc if the outcome itself is telegraphed even though i think that is in fact usually jf's mo but it doesn't make Sense. even the dumbest he#like it is oozing potential and they did it in the most illogical boring unrealistic way possible without leveraging their period drama too#idk maybe a bunch of her story will be true or they'll come up with some other explanation in s3 and i will be satisfied.#but i'm pretty sure that in fact They Will Make Her Worse.#wow ok tumblr didn't stop me for character limit on most of those so this is even more incoherent than it was originally#tldr if you have to break the rules of your universe to make a plot work..... it actually Doesn't work.#in my autistic opinion.#and again nobody come into my inbox going ~but Cassie chadwick!!#because this is literally the opposite of her social engineering method#because it is something you so obviously could not get away with!!!#so actually addendum they could have had her just be completely new money and that would fix it too#I CAN FIX HER!!!!!!!!!
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"the distance between sitting in the hands of the anemo archon statue in mondstadt and standing on the head of the statue of the omnipresent god in inazuma is exactly 6666m" how the fuck did you guys figure that out
#personal stuff#delete later#was looking into smth regarding the omnipresent god statue. weird she looks a bit like egeria huh#could just be a consequence of similar haircut and bangs + all divine beings in this game wear hoods as symbols of their divinity#but considering she was created directly by the shade of life. i imagine there might be a bit of resemblance there#which might be a hint towards the statue's identity?#like i know we all think it's istaroth but i'm pretty sure that's because she's literally the only divine god we know the name of#and bc she's wearing an eye of the storm AND the exact distance from venti's statue#considering they were. if not besties then they were at least both worshiped in mondstadt for a while#but yall thought nicole was istaroth too like come on#like it might make sense if ei's og plan was to collect visions and use the statue to stop time or smth?#but. we all know how that went. grimaces. thank god we don't have three-act archon quests anymore right#but her sticking visions into a celestial statue does make me curious about the responsibilities of the four shades#and if one of them either had something to do with the vision system or with the quote-unquote ascension system#like what the fuck did that line in neuvillette's ''vision'' story mean#about the gods receiving gifts after a vision holder completes their duty. HUH#just auuugh. ripping and tearing#hope we get to see a full design of egeria when furina's second story quest comes out in. 4.6 i think
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BELLUM. anyway (I start too many posts with "anyway" but anyway)
whether platonically or romantically, Elsa thinks Spinner is just. pretty ? his hair, his scales, his eyes, his claws, he's just, PRETTY
and I'm sure that's wild to him bc he's like "... but you. you're." *gestures violently to her bc he doesn't want to embarrass himself by saying "a fucking snow goddess"*
how can someone who's so pretty think he's pretty ?? does not compute ? but it's the truth and she thinks he's beautiful ?
local lizard needs to lie down and process that statement for at least a week, more at 11
#is that a fucking gremlin ?? ( OOC. )#(( I'm thinking there probably weren't any / very few heteromorphs in the area where she lived in Norway#so she has literally never seen someone like him and she's a lil starstruck and sometimes he will catch her staring at him#and I'm sure he gets embarrassed and thinks she is staring bc she finds him weird or ugly#but no no she's staring bc he's pretty and bc she's never seen someone like him before#like his appearance is a novelty to her but in a good way if that makes sense ???#it's new and different and beautiful and I say ''novelty'' but even so it doesn't stop her from treating him as a person like you feel me#''eh??? of course you are a person you just happen to be a very pretty person so sometimes I have to stare''#honestly I'm crying bc she would describe her feelings as ''my heart smiles when I look at you because you are lovely''#and I think that might make the man short circuit ))
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Insane that Blade during Todd's quest did basically the same thing Dan Heng was doing during this last video
#Fragments and scraps#I talk too much#I had just finished Todd's quest and I had so many questions and hypotheses and then the video dropped#And goodness it gave me even more things to ponder but I also think it kind of cleared things up when it came to what was Blade mourning#I also wondered whether this came after Kafka's companion mission but now I'm pretty sure it comes before it? I think it makes sense#Seeing confirmation of Yingxing being old looking was so hard to watch whilst compared to how young Jing Yuan sounds in Chinese#And when seeing him alongside Jingliu and Baiheng‚ who were both mature women when he was a little kid#No wonder he is so prideful of his craft. He deserves it. I really adore how they implemented a lot of details in the worldbuilding#and sidequests that throw light towards the characterisation and story of some of the main characters#Specifically I can't stop thinking about Yingxing in the context of how we see shortlife humans are regarded by some people on the Xianzhou#and especially in the context of the sidequest about the master and the apprentice. Everything it implies#Anyway... This video broke me. The confrontation between Dan Heng and Dan Feng was hard enough#(guy leave the boy alone‚ *he* has nothing to repent of) as well as beautiful. Some shots were gorgeous and full of symbolism#But seeing the five friends... goodness. Yingxing's bitter smile carries a weight that I think goes beyond him losing to Jingliu#given his age and how young his friends look. The way Jing Yuan reacts as if having the braincell but also teasing them was so him#The way his voice broke later on while reading Imbibitor Lunae's punishment took me out#Baiheng reminded me a bit of March 7th in this video. It may be due to how March reacts to Dan Heng's melancholic air towards the end#And how Baiheng reacts to Imbibitor Lunae's and Yingxing's at the beginning. I don't know if the parallelism was purposeful but I loved it#They all felt actually a lot closer than I expected. Mainly Jingliu. I expected her to be close only to Baiheng given what Jing Yuan says#The images that flash over the sentence were so good and so heartbreaking#Yingxing looking at the figure over the moon‚ his chest being pierced by the sword Blade now wields‚#Jingliu blindfolded slicing something‚ someone suspended in chains‚...#And the heavy absence in those images of Jing Yuan‚ whose breaking voice hovers over them all#Truly brought back to mind Blade's line about him. How he knew better than anyone but he did or said nothing#And how he is not one of those who must pay#Everything was so charged I wanted to scream or jump off a cliff. The way the faces of Dan Heng and Dan Feng superimpose ugh#Truly everything was so good#I have so many thoughts about it I can't stop thinking hahaha#But I better shut up already. I should sleep a bit#I want to scream though. The Dan Heng/Blade parallelism makes me want to drown a sea‚ ontological barriers be damned haha
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diversity loss! those ppl correctly gendering u assumed you're straight..
#well 'correctly gendering' they genuinely just saw me as Some Guy i think so automatically referred to me as he#anyway there are a group of usually four to five ppl at the train station nearest to me who stop u and talk to you about sj stuff and/or as#you to donate. so stuff like immigrant rights lgbtq+ rights the environment et cetera & they were eyeing me when i was approaching (to#potentially be stopped & talked to etc. i get stopped like. 80% of the time around there) but then turned back towards each other and said#something along the lines of 'oh this is so scary this is so hard he's so scary' and then didn't stop me to talk and literally as i walked#away (i was JUST past them some ppl rlly do not wait for someone to be out of earsight to tall abt them) one of them said 'his face looked#good (as in approachable & a potential Person To Converse With) but the rest of him....straight man. look at that blouse.'#the previous sentence loosely quoted but it was smth like that...........WTF DO U MEAN STRAIGHT MAN??? TAKE THAT BACK PLEASE I BEG 😭🙏#<<<<<< also they meant cis straight man specifically i'm pretty sure...which is the absolute worst part of that whole assumption.#ALSO what's wrong with my blouse.........#thanks 4 the gender euphoria though. much obliged 👍#double also i don't think i'm using this meme setup thingie in the way it is supposed to be used but it makes sense either way. to me.#TRIPLE ALSO we're just assuming that if someone is a straight man they immediately don't gaf about social justice stuff?? okay.....#i mean i get it but also big generalization. but also i get it. but also big generalization. anyway. in other news i found out my grandma#used to write my grandpa actual poems. like ACTUAL actual poems of the professional sort that she made up and wrote down herself to give#to him <3333#& more news though this one is not very surprising and in fact very predictable I AM SO SLEEPY TIRED. ZONK TOWN I'M COMING DON'T U WORRY❗❗#just need to read the newspaper (the mutuals' posts of 2day) and then i am going to bed IMMEDIATELY u best believe.
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