#i'm picking at crumbs

[rawr-mortgage]

oh, noooooo. no, alfie, doooon't. i don't want you to (lying)

[orcelito]

i've seen ppl talking about Meryl & how little we know about her family, but the geo-plant arc of trigun chapters 10-12 gives us some really useful pieces of info, i think

first, we see her thinking of herself as Cold Blooded, just like the dude that wanted Badwick to kill his own parents

[ID: Meryl stands with her gun drawn and a troubled expression on her face as she thinks to herself, "Exactly as you described him... the cold-blooded type..." In the next panel, she closes her eyes and wonders, "Am I really... any different?" End ID]

at the start of this arc, Milly wrote one of her massive letters to her family, while Meryl mentioned not knowing what she would write to hers. then we see Milly get PISSED at Badwick after she learns he threatened his parents at gunpoint, which leads to this page:

[ID: Meryl, held back by Milly, tells her, "Milly... I envy you... My father would have wanted me to get justifiably angry at a person who points a gun at his parents. That is an important thing." She flashes back to the moment in the chapter before where Milly is attempting to punch the son, Badwick. Milly calls in concern, "Ma'am?" Meryl continues, "But I... I just stood there and took it all in without even budging. I am such a cold person. I chose this path of blood and tears without thinking about the rest of my life. All I can see is what is right in front of me." The page shows the face of the father, dressed in basic battle gear, who is watching silently. Now in tears, Meryl laments, "Why could I not see... that when I closed myself off to him, something was wrong? I..." In the last panel, Milly stares down at Meryl in surprise as Meryl slaps her own cheeks and exclaims, "No... Nevermind!" End ID]

this entire situation is obviously striking something in Meryl's heart. some kind of insecurity she has about her distant relationship with her own parents. she shakes herself out of it, determined to not fall into a funk, and then jumps into defense of the land.

after the battle's over & the father's fallen to his ass, we see these pages:

[ID: In the first page, the father, off screen, tells Meryl and Milly, "There are no words to express how thankful I am for your help." Meryl replies with a smile, "Ah. There's no need." The father goes on to tell her, "Ms. Meryl... I know it was rude of me, but I overheard your conversation earlier. Having raised that rebellious son, I don't know if I have the right thing to say, but... All people are different, but the bonds between parents and children are inseparable. It is a great burden, but also the most precious thing in the world..." In the second page, the father concludes, "... Choose your own path, and walk it with confidence. All of life... is connected. You must live your own life, and your parents will love through you." As he speaks, we see Meryl listening to him with a surprised expression. End ID]

this entire arc feels like a metaphor for Meryl's own situation. after these pages, we see Badwick turning in the deed, then finding out that his parents were entrusting the property to him after all. he's the problem son, someone who separated himself from his parents due to his disagreements with them (likely stemming from his dead younger brother). yet at the end of the day, his parents still love him and entrusted their life's work to him.

Meryl sees all this go down, hears these words, and it touches something in her heart. so we see her go from talking about writing to her family like this in chapter 10:

[ID: A single panel of Meryl with her eyes closed and a peaceful expression on her face. She tells Milly, "That would be the normal thing to do... especially when I've been away from home for so long. But I don't know what to write beyond 'it's dry'..." End ID]

to this bit at the end of chapter 12:

[ID: Meryl approaches a mailbox with luggage in hand. She slips a letter inside, then sighs with a smile. Milly yells, "Maa'aam! What are you doing?! We're already late!" To which Meryl replies, "Ok! Ok! Ok! I'm coming!" End ID]

the experience was enough for her to accept that she might not be the closest with her parents (or just father? considering she only ever mentions a father in this all), but it's still worth reaching out even if she doesn't have much to say.

this arc is the most we see about Meryl's backstory in the manga, but I think we can draw a few things from it. we have a definite mention of a father, but no others. no mention of siblings or any other family members. she's distant from her father, too busy following her heart & goals, but she doesn't have a bad relationship with him. just Distant. she feels disconnected from him, even Cold, for her focus on her work & the practicalities in front of her. but even with that disconnect, she still cares enough about him to feel guilty when she realizes she's been doing this.

and then considering later, when we see the flashback of a man giving her the gun... i'd assumed that was possibly a senior at her work (probably tristamp giving me that perception, from Roberto), but keeping all the rest of this in mind... it really could have been her father.

i went looking to try to find that part. did not find that one exactly, but i DID find this one from trimax chapter 34:

[ID: A nearly bald man with a kind face and what appear to be shooting ear muffs around his neck tells Meryl, "Consider guns delicate. Women, most of all, should make use of them. One shot will level the playing field between you and a big, strong man." End ID]

if this is indeed her father, it would explain why she knows how to shoot like she does. perhaps her father taught her as she was growing up out of the wish to help her protect herself. maybe they weren't incredibly close, but he still clearly cared about her & wanted what was best for her and her safety. the kind of father that's content to let her do whatever her heart wishes, since her happiness is his happiness.

and then chapter 12 ends with this page:

[ID: A black framed page with a single panel at the center. The panel shows Meryl from behind, running with her luggage in hand. The text boxes to the sides state, "All of life is connected by a river... And the beginning of the river... is now." End ID]

she continues on her own path, not looking back, but she is still connected to the ones in her heart... including her father.

(Manga panels referenced from @trigun-manga-overhaul !)

[softquietsteadylove]

oh nooooo you've done it again and now heracles au is my new favorite au (what a shame!!!!). seriously that was PRECIOUS and i'd love to see more, maybe he gets himself into trouble and gil and thena have to get him out of it?? cue worry wart gil and thena being annoyed that she was worried sick about him too

"Have you seen the boy?"

Phastos barely looked up from his current project. "The boy--come on, T, you gotta be more specific."

But Sersi had no coyness, looking away from their irrigation plans with a worried expression, "Heracles? No, I haven't-"

Thena continued, becoming increasingly more off put with every person she had to ask. First the young pup won't leave her be and now he's nowhere to be found?

But Gilgamesh was worried. He had been expecting young Heracles to show up at the bake house to sample some pastries, if not get some bread ends for himself. But when the child hadn't shown up, of course sweet hearted Gil became anxious.

She had found him already out searching for the child. That was the only reason she was joining in the effort. If anything, she was increasingly incensed that he would put Gilgamesh through such torment.

Thena walked swiftly, even leaning forward in her stride, walking like a hunter. People not even remotely close to her stepped aside, not wanting to incur any wrath from the Goddess of War. She looked at the edges of the streets, trying to spot any small head of blonde barely a metre off the ground.

"You!"

The guards startled but turned and stood at attention. Their eyes did exchange a look of terror or two.

She walked straight to them, palms already sparkling. "Where is the boy?"

They looked between themselves. Their captain - still without a replacement for the helmet she had defaced last they met - stuttered, "uh, a-a boy, Goddess?"

She gripped the edge of his armour, lifting him off the ground. "The boy--the orphan whose only possession you broke! When did you last see him?!"

Any crowd that was gathered to see the goddess Athena walking the streets was turning and running by now. She shook the man the way she would rattle a jar stubborn to give up the last of its sweets.

"W-W have not seen him, Goddess, we swear upon-"

"Upon what--me?" she snarled at them. She dropped the man to the ground. "If you do see him you will report to me immediately. If I find him first, you will swear upon your own lives not to cause me such bother again!"

The guards scurried off. Perhaps they would take heed and give her a wider berth from now on (she could only hope as much).

"Heracles!" she resorted to shouting his name as she walked. This was the reason she referred to him as a stray. He was loyal, gentle in nature, and - usually - he came running when called.

Poor Gilgamesh would be worried sick.

"You haven't found him either?"

The two streets joined in a point. She frowned at the look on Gil's face, twisted in worry. He was walking around with a pastry in hand, as if to lure the boy out of hiding with it. She shook her head.

Gilgamesh sighed heavily, walking with her as they headed in the same direction. "I know he's probably fine. But you know how that kid likes to get into trouble.

"Indeed," she grumbled. She did know just how much the boy liked to seek out mischief under the guise of being brave. But her anger had to compete with the occupation of her mind Gilgamesh commanded. She took his free hand in hers, "we will find him."

He smiled at her at least, pulling the hand up to his lips.

"Let me go!"

Thena took off like a shot. Gilgamesh wasn't far behind her but she leapt through the streets, propelling herself the way a goddess should. "Heracles!"

"Lemme go!" the small voice repeated, little legs kicking in the air. "I said lemme go or the Champion is gonna show you!"

The shop owner was unmoved, holding Heracles by the back of his tunic like a stray kitten. "Ooh, the great Champion is gonna come save you?"

She would scold him for using Gilgamesh as an excuse for his mischief later. She slid on the cobblestones and stormed over to the man. "Unhand him!"

"Goddess Athena!" the man startled, letting go of the boy.

Heracles landed on his back but recovered quickly, scurrying behind her legs. "He said he was gonna throw me in the fire!"

"That's not true," the baker drawled, but Thena was unmoved. He sighed, "I caught him rooting around in my barrels out back. The young can't just take whatever they want because they're parentless."

If they were barrels containing his waste and day old breads then what did it matter if a child looted them for food? But Thena just glared at him. She had half a mind to string him up like the guards.

Gilgamesh put his hand on her shoulder though. "Sorry for the confusion."

"Champion," the gruff old man nodded to them before turning to return to his work.

"Lay a hand on the child again and I'll slice the building in half like the ends of your bread!"

"Thena," Gil scolded her, waving the alarmed man inside. "She didn't mean that!"

"You cannot speak for me," she grumbled as he nudged her shoulders around and in the opposite direction. If the baker refrained from handling her orphan like a mutt again, then he had no reason to fear.

"And you," Gilgamesh kneeled down to the boy playing with the bottom of his tunic. "I was worried, y'know. Where were you?"

The boy became shy in the face of explaining himself. But Gilgamesh stood in the way of the comfort of hiding behind the dress of the Goddess of War. "The others said you only let me into the great hall because I'm always hungry."

So, if he came already fed, he could prove that his company was welcome and not just out of charity or pity.

Thena also leaned down to better see the child's perspective. "That is why you went rooting for scraps? To prove our company is genuine?"

His cheeks went ruddy and tears collected in his wide green eyes. "I'm sorry, Thena."

She sighed; how anyone had the heart to be mad at such a small and fragile life was beyond her. She was trying with all her thousands of years and she simply did not have the mettle for it.

Gilgamesh moved aside as she stretched her arms out. Heracles, being used to it with his small body, reached out to be picked up automatically. Gil chuckled.

"What?" she eyed him around Heracles' face nuzzling into her shoulder. She was always letting this child get his tears and snot all over her white linens.

"You're a natural at that," he nodded, indicating the way she cradled Heracles' small body against hers, letting the boy sob into her shoulder.

"I disagree," she rolled her eyes, which was quite a strong declaration from her in regards to Gilgamesh.

He just smiled though, pulling her - and by extension, Heracles - close and folding himself around her. His arms closed around her waist, under hers holding the young one. "Come on, you two, let's get some real food."

Heracles only cried harder. Children were such baffling creatures. But Thena rubbed his small back, letting him let it all out.

Gil pressed his lips to her temple. "You were really worried about him, huh?"

She sighed as his lips helped release at least a little of the tension that had built up within her. "No, I was concerned that you were worried over a boy who enjoys trouble too much."

Heracles nuzzled her shoulder, burying himself away in her toga strap.

She rubbed and patted his back some more. "I know that a brave, young champion doesn't worry those around him for selfish reasons."

The boy understood her scolding, nodding with his head still determined to push its way into her shoulder bone. But his small body gave off great warmth, and she found herself leaning her cheek against his mess of blonde hair. "Then let us be home. Gilgamesh was making quite a feast before he discovered you were missing."

"I'm sorry."

On some whim of the moment, she turned her head, pressing her lips to the child's hair. "Do not repeat this."

"I won't."

"And don't eat from people's spares," she ordered. But the boy rested his head on her, his forehead pressing to her cheek. She adjusted him on her hip, "come to us. I will not have you living on scraps."

She felt Gilgamesh give her far shoulder a gentle squeeze, "softie."

She did not think this made her soft. If Heracles was indeed intent on becoming a champion of Athens one day then he needed proper food, not just some old, burnt bread from the gutter.

And if anyone thought she would tolerate him being fed a stray's reject's then they would be meeting the full wrath of the Goddess of War. He was a stray, but he was a ward of the gods, as far as she was concerned. He was an orphan, but he was their orphan.

[thatdude-noah]

something about charlie this season just feels so broken. he's been through so much and he's never getting a break to just relax, he's never getting any support.

first he has to deal with the death of his absent father. he has to confront those feelings, really understand what he lost from his dad not being around.

and then charlie's apartment is being changed. it's small, but it's meaningful. charlie's life is being changed and opened up without his permission. the toilet is too loud but frank wants to use it. the room behind charlie is too empty but frank wants to use it. charlie likes sleeping in the same bed as frank but they have another bedroom, so why would they do that?

charlie doesn't know he's forty. he's not respected by his mother, he's lied to, he doesn't get the one thing he was promised and was looking forward to. his mom, who he supported and helped, gave it to his sisters instead, his sisters who were never there and never liked him and never even cared about the legacy in the first place.

his mother, who didn't even acknowledge charlie being forty, is having a birthday party for his abuser. he has to see uncle jack again, he has to be touched by him, he has to see his mother love him and fawn over him in a way she never does with charlie.

charlie is provided no support. he's provided no love. time and time again, he's beat down and hurt. his life is falling apart around him, it has ever since he found his dad, and there's nothing he can do. things keep changing but staying the same in all the wrong ways and charlie doesn't have a second of peace to calm down and try to repair whatever broke inside of him.

[bougiebutchbinch]

:flops facedown on the floor: I wanna draw more aaaaaaaart but I don't know whaaaaaaaaaaat and nothing brings jooooooooooooooy -

wait

draws more A-Train stuff

[icharchivist]

but yeah as we're discussing in replies with @/apeironstella, we've been discussing for literal decades about how despite having very little screentime together Lavi and Allen are foils in many way and it feels important to look at both their character arcs in parallel to one another to understand them, and it added to why we thought Allen was the Past!JR, and after literal decades of reaching about how their arcs are intrically linked actually, it. it ends up being true? it ends up being a case of "they might know each other in their past lives"? im feeling insane what do you mean we were right while we were REACHING at THEMES

[lamortwrites]

SAREVOK TAMOKO DURGE AND GORT PARALLELS!!!!!!!!!! durge and xvim!!!! I can’t

OKAY I HAVE TO PREFACE THIS BY SAYING. I am on team cleric of Xvim Tamoko I have not been active in any bg1 spaces probably since I was a teenager I do not know what the fandom consensus of her deity was but I DO remember that it was never actually confirmed in game (do I think the plan was for her to become Sarevok's Chosen? Maybe. Maybe the original plan after Sarevok's apotheosis was to help Tamoko push someone else off of the throne she wanted. You know, much like a popular durgetash theory ;))

ANYWAY the point is. Tamoko was a cleric of Iyachtu Xvim to me. So imagine being me running around as an amnesiac Bhaalspawn and finding out I USED TO HAVE FEELINGS FOR A BANITE? Already. AlREADY the wheels are turning. Already I am going HMM. THIS FEELS FAMILIAR.

And like...obv this is all up to interpretation and kinda depends on your choices in your own playthroughs but. Gort being so happy for you if you shake off Bhaal's influence? Vs him jumping straight to pragmatism and well guess you have to die for me if you won't be my ally? And then later w the brain, the theory that he knew the stones weren't working and chose to try and take the hit for you even though you don't remember him or any of what you had, maybe even showed up w a new lover? Compared to Tamoko being so willing to die for Sarevok just bc he told her to, even though he'd strayed so far from the man she loved? Did Gort know durge planned to betray him in the end? Would he have been willing to die for them?

And YEAH the durge/Xvim parallels are...SO tasty. Durge being born before Bhaal was even resurrected? Were they supposed to be his ticket back to godhood like how Bane did it? The fact that durge is technically a cambion too... Like, did pre tadpole durge chafe against their leash? WERE they planning on patricide? Was that the real reason for the lobotomy?

There's just. Idk there's something really poetic to me about Sarevok changing so much that he is unmoved by Tamoko's death vs durge having the potential to change so much that they are unmoved by Gortash's...

Also. I would save the man within the beast he wishes to be. You know. Which couple am I talking about here.

[governmentmandatedryujinstan420]

i can't believe i come back momentarily from the dead and it's with more cancerous memes. Two versions bc god had other plans, none which included not having both of these.

[muzzlemouths]

I was doing some re reading and I was curious does dmd Suns “terms of endearment” reflect how he at that moment views/feels about yn?

Like mouse when y/n is sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong and are potential prey to moon, peach when y/n is being sweet/soft for more wholesome fun moments, and doll when sun is seeing y/n as acting/reliving the malls glory days with pretend shopping.

YEAH YOU'VE GOT IT

The first name Sun gives y/n is "Little Mouse", a term that isn't normally used with customers, but y/n isn't a customer — despite Sun's initial instance otherwise — they're an intruder.

The second time it's used is directly before Sun leaves y/n in the candy shop. This is foreshadowing what happens next, and implying that Sun already suspected that y/n would turn around and go snooping again.

With that last sentence in mind, I'll let you take a guess as to what the last instance of him using that name means.

Peach is his go-to, as is anything floral, and Doll is his programmed script resurfacing - that is, it's the name he used with customers most often while the mall was still alive, and using it with y/n is a form of coping with the loss as much as it is a guilty pleasure.

Now, that meaning changes when Moon says it. The first (and only) time it's used is with a condescending tone and malicious intent. Moon doesn't want to relive the glory days. Here, he's mocking the script he was programmed with and making his message crystal clear; you are not safe with me.

[gotta-bail-my-quails]

man i thought i moved out to escape my family but it turns out i've jumped from the pan into the fire because holy shit my guys what the fuck??

[helielune]

i might fix the timing

the thing about animating is sometimes you get so into your own head you're like this sequence of frames makes complete sense and is 100% comprehensible to a first time viewer and then you walk away and come back to it two hours later, when you're two hours more tired, and you yourself can barely comprehend the timing you yourself put together anymore

or maybe thats just me???

[syn0vial]

someone please deprogram me from feeling like i've committed cold-blooded murder every time i have to ask for a sick day from work

[hungry-hobbits]

i do like that wwdits is entirely consistent with its inability to actually recall anything that has happened either in previous seasons or in the movie that the series was inspired by

establishing in s5e10 that the thing that actually kills vampires when their sire dies isnt the blood connection or whatever, but the rapid aging that happens because their immortality has been stripped and their body basically jumps to catch up to how much time has passed like that is an insanely interesting concept that i haven't heard of before

but then in the movie they previously established that the death of one's sire really doesn't matter because deacon's still farting around even though pytor died (unless pytor wasnt his sire after all?)

also with guillermo killing hundreds of vampires, shouldn't the population of vampires across the states probably have gotten really fucked up as a result? like to a severely noticeable degree??? like is there no vampire census to be like "asmodeus the undying actually died as a result of his sire being killed in a theater a few years back. yeah really ironic i know."

[ghostsinthecellar]

tiiiiired

[blondedingdong]

Dug out the old Dr. Doom skin for some shenanigans with the sib @g0dp4rticl3 (I love the surprised look of players who didn't play back then during the marvel season that had this particular Dr. Doom in the BP and maybe even forgot he was a thing and are now like "WAIT HOW DO YOU HAVE DOOM ALREADY?!" *snickers*). Well at least Dr. Doom and Megalo Don are besties now! B)

[liesmyth]

What happens to the souls of the lyctors’ cavaliers? I mean I bet they can’t eat them actually. Muir is so into Catholicism in the locked tomb, and you can’t just change the fact that the souls are immortal. Plus Pyrrha is alive and so is Gideon. And the souls don’t go to the River. So whats up with that?

(SORRY I had this in my inbox for days unfortunately. weekdays deadlines)

I think the souls remain within the Lyctors! They are the battery powering their adepts, though presumably, the cavaliers don't have any consciousness left, and when Lyctors go with their souls into the River, the body is animated just by the reflexes of their cavaliers. (Though I don't think this was the case for Pyrrha?)

I wonder a lot about what happens to the souls of cavaliers after the death of their Lyctors, though. Palamedes and Camilla seems pretty convinced that their soul gestalt won't be unmade in the River (I wouldn't take it as an absolute certainty. But it's very possible IMO). I also don't think John and Alecto can ever be disentangled from each other, but they both maintain most of their separate identities. For something like Teacher - were the multiple souls separated when he died? The Lyctors/cav soul consumption is yet another different thing and I don't see why it shouldn't unravel from the soul of the Lyctor, though it would fit with the themes of the series if part of the price of Lyctorhood included that the cav's soul went... somewhere else.

Also fwiw, Abigail Pent talks about summoning a Lyctor from scraps she'd found in Canaan House and she too has absolutely no idea what happens.

But I think that if summoning a Lyctor's soul from the River was possible, it might have come up because there's no way Augustine hadn't tried it. (Probably not Ulysses or Cassiopeia who died in a different dimensional plane but like. Cyrus might have been doable)

Anyway; sorry for going on such a tangent, I just have A Lot of very vague thoughts about anything dealing with souls in TLT. We know Harrow still carries those 200 souls within her, and it's also possible that John may have done something similar by using souls as a source when introducing necromancy after the resurrection (I'm not sold on this for Reasons but it could be the case). So many souls that are used as building blocks for something or another... I'm dying to know what happens to them.

(Also. I'm going to casually @monstrousgourmandizingcats just to ask... do you have any insight on the theological references behind all the soul stuff? My only contribution is that I saw someone compare Ianthe eating unwilling Babs vs. other Lyctors eating willing cavaliers' souls to someone taking communion without having confessed and I thought "oh cool" and then forgot everything about it)