#i'm out of shape from the cancer is the problem

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

idk if this is a sex ed question, or if you're the right person to ask, sorry, but do you have any reputable sources about what testosterone *actually* does?

i see people saying it limits your emotions, that it gives you breast cancer, that it makes you malnourished, its a second more dangerous puberty, etc, and I'd like to think im good at picking out lies, but there's a lot of stuff that sounds like bullshit coming from blogs i thought were trustworthy.

if not, all good, thank you in advance!

hi anon,

I'm really glad you sent this ask, because this kind of scaremongering misinformation is deeply upsetting and I'm so happy to provide a better information.

there are tons of reputable sources as to what testosterone does; some that I'll be pulling from in this answer include Cleveland Clinic, Harvard Medical School, University of California San Francisco, Mayo Clinic, the Society for Endocrinology, and Planned Parenthood.

so, what's up testosterone?

testosterone is a hormone produced in everyone's bodies, either in the testes or the ovaries depending on which set of equipment you're working with. all bodies produce both estrogen and testosterone, usually in different levels. regardless of the genitalia you were born with, how you understand your gender, or what levels of testosterone you have in your body, testosterone affects things like your sex drive, your hair growth, muscle and bone density, and the production of red blood cells.

in people born with testes, puberty usually comes with an increase in testosterone that kicks off changes such as growth of the penis and testicles, the production of sperm, an increase in hair growth all over the body, deepening of the voice, greater production of oil on the skin, and an increase in height, weight, and muscle mass.

either an overabundance or a deficit of testosterone can have health complications, just as having more or less of any hormone that a body needs can cause complications.

people who choose to transition by taking testosterone will experience many similar effects as cisgender men going through puberty, including the increase in body hair, skin oils, and muscle mass, as well as a deepening voice. while people on testosterone are unlikely to experience significant growth in terms of height unless they start hormone replacement therapy (HRT) at a fairly young age, testosterone does frequently cause a redistribution of fat on their bodies to be more similar to that of cisgender men. bottom growth, the increased size and sensitivity of the clitoris to more closely resemble a penis, is also common; the clitoris and the penis are homologous structures (they're made out of the same goo when embryos start developing genitalia), hence why they react similarly to testosterone.

to address your specific concerns:

testosterone does not limit the range of a person's emotions. while it may impact a person's mood and the severity of their feelings, the same is true of any hormone - for instance, people also report mood changes when they take antidepressants or birth control. the sometimes drastic mood fluctuations experienced during puberty are not tied to a specific hormone; this is a turbulent time regardless of what hormones your body is producing the most. testosterone is stereotyped as making people angry and violent, but all people are people regardless of their biology and are shaped by much more than the hormones in their body.

while cisgender men and trans people on testosterone can both get breast cancer, testosterone does not pose any particular risk. several of the sources linked about don't find any significant link between taking testosterone HRT and an increased risk of breast cancer, reporting that transgender individuals who take testosterone are not at any particularly higher risk of developing breast cancer than cisgender women. for more detailed information about potential health problems affiliated with taking testosterone, I recommend the "Risks" section of the linked UCSF document. yes, there are health risks affiliated with taking testosterone; this is true of literally any medication and, more importantly, is also true of just being a person with any kind of hormones in your body. cis men and women also have health conditions affiliated with being cis men and cis women, this is the price of admission for having a human body. nobody gets out unscathed.

there is no evidence that testosterone causes someone to become malnourished. people undergoing a testosterone-based puberty, whether they're cis or trans, are likely to experience a great deal of growth and bodily changes that will use a great deal of calories, which means they may be hungry and need more food than they did previously. this is a normal effect of puberty on a body, and is only a risk for malnourishment if a person isn't able to eat in sufficient amounts to keep their body properly nourished.

there is nothing about a testosterone-based puberty that is "more dangerous" than an estrogen-based puberty, which is what I assume is the point of comparison. puberty is a completely natural process that does not pose any significant dangers unless you want to be a real dipshit about it and pull some shit like "puberty is dangerous because you grow breast tissue and then you're at risk for breast cancer," in which case sure, great job, Sherlock. you solved it, puberty is cancelled forever. I cannot emphasize enough how stupid this is, conceptually; roughly half the human population goes through this kind of puberty every day and they're fucking fine. puberty by itself is not a risk factor of anything.

I don't know what particular interest the blogs you've been following have in making testosterone-based puberty sound like it's going to turn you into an emotionally stunted skeleton with breast cancer, although I fear it's transphobia hidden unsubtly behind concern trolling and disdain for cisgender men.

if you're interested in taking testosterone and are concerned about the changes you might see in your body please, for the love of god, consult with reputable health resources and a doctor rather than whatever nematode is posting about testosterone ruining your life.

[technically-a-kiwi]

The cosmic cast in color ! ✨

Finaly ! They're all here !

First we have

Peppino Spaghetti THE CHEF

From his pizza oven, he cooks and gives shape to all the multiverse, a very unstable being, destoying things aroud him on a MASSIVE scale when angered. Even if his work is worthy of a god, he claims he's nothing more then a little pizza chef making simple pizzas.

The Noise THE HOST

(yes, I didn't do another art for cosmic Noise c'cause he doesn't need one FOR HE WAS PERFECT FROM DAY ONE ! and because I'm... tired 😵)

If you see a mysterious program playing on your TV, one that you've never seen before, it might be because of this gremlin ! TV host and little chaos bringer, this being of pure mischef will make you wish you were never born as soon as you interact with him. Better pray he get's disinterested from you 'cause once your his target, he will NEVER give you a break, unless he decides to cut his program for a smoke...

Noisette THE MESSENGER

What appears to be a shooting star up high in the sky has a very little chance to actually be this being, from her magic umbrella she travels around the multiverse to briefly open a little café and sell her cosmic pastries. The reason she’s referred as the messenger is because she’s the one who serves as a messenger when cosmic entities don’t want to talk to each other.

The constellations CHILDREN OF THE STARS

Libra, Orion, Cassiopea, Cancer and Gemini, those are the five constellations names, they sometimes visit universes but are not allowed to go alone. They enjoy learning about new places and conceps, even scary ones .

Pepperman THE ARTIST

In a far away dimension, this entity paints and sculps the many art pieces you can find in his galery. He's the master of his atelier, sometimes allowing his students to work on tiny parts of his work. After completing a collection, he sets off to some universes and opens his museum. Are you curious enough to witness those otherworldly works of art ?

The Vigilante VIGIL OF REALITY

When the laws of physics are broken, he'll be there and make those outlaws pay the price... he also is a little farmer who lives in the middle of nowhere, growing cropes and other veggies, he's quite a nice guy.

The Ticket stand ...

in the darkest of corners of an abandoned street, your might meet with this entity. You can buy a ticket, what happens after that solely depends on you.

Pizzahead THE WANDERER ( feat. Pizzaface [design made by @chaotichyperfixations])

A very jolly and silly entity, wandering across the multiverse sharing his performences to whoever wants to see, alongside him is a conscious universe, who wants to get to the rank of cosmic entity, he's not the friendliest of companions but seeing his attemps fall flate is very funny.

Mr Stick THE BANKER

A very nasty entity, he sees high value in money, specificaly money that isn't his. He goes to people in instable economical state, writting their names in his book and claims he has the ability as a cosmic entity to fix their problems, only this is a trick to slowly get every dollar out of their pocket. He sees himself as the boss of every cosmic entity, only nobody ever gave him that title or the respect that comes with it.

Here's how they look like withous the light:

I forgot the sparkles for almost all of them... Maybe I should have given a little more time into this...

[joannerowling]

What do you think about JKR's relationship with her father? How do you think it shapes the books? I wonder if Harry's longing for a father comes from perhaps her desire for a father. Harry loves and misses his mother but doesn't search for motherly figures but very much seeks out father figures, IMO this is probably due to JKR's personal relationship with her parents.

That's a very, very good question. I think you're probably right, but it's important to stay delicate about it, because JKR is a very private person. I'm comfortable talking about the connections i see between Lily's role in the story and Anne (her mother), or even between the sisterhood of Lily and Petunia and the things she's said about her relationship with her sister, because i'm basing such analysis on things she has said in interviews, willingly. (And the spirit of it is never to say "Lily is directly inspired by Anne Volant", that's not very interesting.)

By contrast Jo has said very little about her father, so i'm more reluctant to go there. We know that its not his absence or early passing that hurt her, the problem is that he wasn't exactly the most supportive. I'd love to hear anything she would want to share about their relationship, and how she thinks it impacted her work, but i don't want to draw hypothesis without her input, i feel like it'd be too nosy and disrespectful.

That being said, there's plenty that *can* be said without explicitely dragging her father into it. There is certainly an interesting discussion to be had about representations of fatherhood in her work. Mostly, fathers and father figures start idealised, until their moral failings inevitably come to betray expectations.

James (that's Peter Rowling's middle name btw) is revealed to have been arrogant and a bully. He's still a good person who recognised and was willing to fight the evil of blood purity, even though he was himself "pure blood".

Sirius is a cool godfather, a loyal friend, possesses an independence of spirit that Harry admires and replicates; but he also mistreats Kreacher, pulled a sociopathic "prank" on Snape as a kid that could have killed him, and has a detached, mean side to him. He also treats Harry basically as an adult, not a kid, let alone his kid.

Lupin is a patient, benevolent teacher, who values Harry's skills and respects his opinions; but he's too formal and distant, too cowardly to commit. He nearly abandons his own kid to go Horcrux hunting with the trio (Harry is furious about this). Still a good person, but a frustratingly immature one.

Hagrid is entirely devoted to Harry but he's also too childlike and irresponsible to make an adequate protector (it's more often Harry who has to help him out than the reverse!)

Dumbledore has designs on Harry's fate which require him to keep his distances, etc. etc.

Bonus : in the Strike novels, Rokeby is an absentee father to Strike and basically calls him a mistake when he's just a kid, only to later attempt to rekindle their relationship when Strike starts earning a glowing reputation and when he finds out he has a cancer (something that will come up again in book 8 i'm sure); yet his other kids, like Al or Prudence, seem to have a good relationship with him.

I'd say there is a recurring theme in JKR's work of men in general, turning out to be disappointing, unreliable and inadequate role models, and especially protectors. Even when they're good people.

[callsigns-haze]

End of pregnancy announcement

A third update

So yesterday I found out some pretty shitty news. But first I have to explain some things.

All my life was around a hospital due to medication and medical conditions. I suffered from cancer and other problems.

So for years I've been on many kinds of medication and treatments.

I went to one of my doctors and they said they'd rather not stop the medication. That's where the problem is. The medication is really not safe to take while pregnant and it could effect my health badly too.

Some of you know that I was in really bad shape in my last pregnancy and it was a really dangerous time for my health and for my own safety this is what I want to do and what I need to do.

I will have to feticide this pregnancy not only for me but it's not safe for the baby growing inside me. This med will probably increase chances of miscarriage but the baby can come out badly disabled or premature and other bad things.

I am sent to a medical clinic in two days to get a pill.

This may not have been what I wanted but my doctor said that this will risk my health severely and it's not safe for me at all.

My boyfriend says that this is not worth the risk and rather than having a baby now he'd rather wait till I'm ready physically and mentally or just never have kids.

And I'm glad he thinks that way.

My daughter is with her dad for 3 weeks so at least I know I can take it easily during this time but sadly my boyfriend is soon deployed but in the end we'll be ok

Love,

Zo

[zabchan]

Sorry to bother you, but I don't know, I'm starting to wonder what are the zodiac signs of Moana 2🥲i know Maui is definitely a Leo and Moana a Cancer, but what about the others any thoughts😇☺☺??

*smacks down a soapbox* OK SO I HAVE OPINIONS.

First, my thesis statement:

Maui: Scorpio sun- specifically a scorpio/sag cusp on Nov 24/25. He oozes that trickster charisma, bit of that bad boy energy, he's very adaptable, flowing from shape to shape like the water element he was born in. He draws you in with that cocky grin but he will sting you if you get too close too fast! He has dark depths in his soul that not even he has explored, but another water sign might draw those feelings out with the right dose of empathy. (Foreshadowing) the sag cusp plays well into his love of freedom & exploration. He knows what the right path is but he often gets sidetracked or caught up in trying to get there in the flashiest, cleverest way possible XD

Now you can be forgiven for thinking he's a leo- I believe he's a Leo rising. That confident Swagger, the radiant easy charm, heck, even that full silky mane of curls- its his public mask. The golden hero he wants everyone to think he is. Even his supposed narcisism is a ruse-deep down he's got that watery core of insecurity that he tries to hide from the world under the firey Beacon of his smile. He appears social and friendly on the outside like a Leo, but he returns to that lone wolf lifestyle when things get too real.

Finally in the "big three" of maui's chart I believe he would be a Sagittarius Moon. A person's Moon sign represents their subconscious and a bit of how they dream. Maui of course has the unique experience of wearing his subconscious on his sleeve (tattoo)! Mini is a sassy lil fire sign who embodies his big self's wanderlust & free spirit. He encourages maui to be a "straight shooter" & gets mad when maui's scorpio tendacies 'sting' the people close to him...namely moana.

Speaking of moana!

I absolutely agree that Moana would be a Cancer sun sign! There is even official merch that places her as one, although it's far from Canon...

It's hard to read but you can tell it by the shape of the constellation on the Moana side & by the tamatoa on the back it's supposed to be the crab. Ironically, (for being crabs)Cancers are the mom friend of the group. Very empathetic, community minded, nurturing, both soothing and protective. Typical cancers are often homebodies, and prefer their comfort zone & company of their emotional support people...which sets up moana's main conflict; she's a Sagittarius rising.

as previously discussed, Sagittarius is all about travel & freedom. It's the part of moana who wants to chase that horizon line, who chafes at being stuck on one island forever but also deeply loves and connects with people & home. She wants the big adventure, the thrill and then to come home and share all she's learned, or better yet, take her home & love with her whenever she can. she does her best work when she embraces both sides of herself- the chief and the explorer- the Tautai. She knows the way forward And the way home.

That plus her moon sign puts moana's Birthday around July 16th. Her moon sign, I believe, is Scorpio.

Subconsciously, I think moana has a bit of trickster in her- the adaptability and secret ability to manipulate things into going her way- having lots of empathy can make you a kind, caring individual, but it can also be wielded as a hidden weapon. If you can empathize with your opponent, you can work out their motivations, their most likely next move and plan accordingly. Scorpio is clever, and can sus out hidden weakspots where their sting might be most effective. Moana uses her double-water sign empathy powers for good of course, and it makes her a naturally excellent therapist. It also enhances her lateral problem solving skills. Water has a way of finding its way through the tiniest crack and given enough time can reduce a mountain into a lake.

I haven't put as much thought into the other character's signs... I do think tala is an Aquarius, a tricksey air sign that most people think is a water sign. A keeper of knowledge and more than a little crazy...

Tamatoa ironically enough I see as another scorpio...maybe a scorpio rising with cancer subconcious moon, it'd be a waste if he didn't have crab somewhere in his "big three" XD plus one of the more materialistic, ambitious signs...Capricorn?

Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted talk 👄

[ravenbloodshot]

Would &team members seriously date a foreigner...

EJ: This is something he's thought about already (idk if he was looking at a foreigner with googly eyes and all the possibilities went through his mind). But he has a calm and chill aura mixed in with a bit of chaos. During those moments when he's in his calm spell, he wants someone more familiar but in his chaotic spells he wants change and someone new that can shake his world up. He's also the type to date a foreigner just to spite his parents (only bc he doesn't like to be put in a box or have conservative views pushed onto him). So, it's a yes, he would if he was in one of his chaotic spells( but he does judge people by their heart so your race wouldn't matter to him)

Fuma: Yes, he would. Has a child like energy of being accepting of others and open to adventure and change by being with someone of a different background than him. Whoever his partner is would be treated the same as if they were Japanese (for good or bad) and although he would be worried about the future, his excitement when starting anything new would override his concerns (only problem is he could go into relationships too optimistic or too given and be taken advantage of). Also, he's big on marriage so like I said above, he would treat his lover of a different culture the same as he would if she was Japanese

K: No. He's too worried about himself to even consider whether he would date a foreigner, a Japanese, a Korean ....whatever he doesn't care. He's not worried about his love life or his emotions rn, he could be neglecting his emotional side and being very closed off to anything new romantically (anybody going after him would be swiftly rejected). I will say that he's quite young but he's not experiencing his youth to the fullest(has the energy of an older man), too much investing in the future to worry about the present. This mindset could fuck him over so I hope he finds some balance

Nicholas: Yep, he would and already has. But these foreigners have to go after him, he's not confident enough to go after them (he himself has a feminine energy, so he may need a more alpha fem in a relationship). He has some insecurities as well, so he could overthink himself out of a possible relationship but I do see some flirting/dating when it comes to foreigners. He likes more dominant and direct partners and I believe he's seen more of that from foreign women so he's down for anything/anyone

Yuma: He would date a foreigner. He's a bit intimidated and overawed by foreigners but it's not exactly an uncomfortable feeling of being intimidated (it's like in the fanfics or wattpad stories when the girl gets turned on by a cold and lowkey mean man). He could be another guy that likes the alpha fems that can be dominant and a little aggressive. (I'm also seeing that Yuma may think foreign women have different body shapes then maybe in his own country so thats appealing/enticing to him). But he's open to being with a foreigner marriage wise and one night stand wise

JO: Yes. He has a chill and open minded view when it comes to this topic, he's ready for any new and real love that comes his way (very romantic and dreamy guy, I guess it's cancer tings). He does keep a mature view still by staying alert for red flags in a partner but other than that if your providing him a once in a lifetime love, he'll welcome you with open arms

(Surprisingly, all these guys were cool with dating a foreigner nobody really was put off by the idea and some actively seek to date foreigners)

I left out 3 members

Ranking for most to least likely:

1. Nicholas

2. JO

3. Fuma

4. Yuma

5. EJ

6. K

[mycosmicsage]

Rising Signs for Beginners: Lesson Three

Here we are the long awaited Lesson Three- Rising Signs for beginners. In this lesson we are going to be covering what rising signs are and their impact on the world.

What is a Rising Sign?

A rising sign is the sign that is rising in the east when you are born. This changes every two hours, so that's why it's important to know when you were born. If you don't know when you were born most people will go with an unknown time, and not calculate this. However, if you do have the resources to calculate this- it can be super interesting to see how it impacts you.

In Astrology your rising sign (or ascendant) is your first instincts when encountering a new person, place, situation, or problem. It's the placement of first impressions, and those first impression can be highly dictated by relationships that this placement has with others. (That's for another time though).

There's also the opinion that your rising sign can shape how you appear, such as a Cancer will look more rounded and moon shaped. An Aquarius rising will seem more alien looking that human. The like. I'm not going to get into that too much this time around, and will instead focus on your natural instincts to new situations. So go and take a look at your rising sign, and come on back (if you'd like), or read on through.

The Rising Signs Through the Zodiac

Aries

This is one of the only times that you aren't going to see a lot of hot-headedness that is usually associated with Aries. In this placement Aries is direct. They come off strong, and honestly, a bit childish. Not too dissimilar to a kid being able to walk up to another kid and saying "we're best friends now". These signs are highly independent, and take matters into their own hands and people often let them. More or less because they are so headstrong that it doesn't seem like they could use the extra hand. Similar to their moon sign- everything seems to get done quickly by an Aries rising, often walking fast, talking fast, and not staying still for too long.

Taurus

Taurus in this placement can be considered enduring to say the least. They have endless patience versus an Aries. They feel the situations of new problems out before figuring out to approach them. A Taurus took that story from the Tortoise and the Hare, and made it their life motto. Slow, and steady is how to accomplish the things that you want done. Like their sun sign, a luxurious life style is the one for them, often buying things they don't need up front. It's a downside that can often haunt their credit cards. These signs are typically seen as having a large and calming aura that makes you feel safe and secure upon meeting them for the first time.

Gemini

Gemini is the definition of mental acrobatics ok? They play that up in this placement as well- often flitting between social circles. This can seem kinda intimidating and even jarring as their cleverness and quick wit can come across as trying to gain information. Which they are, you just don't know why, which is why it's scary. However, most of the time, it's good natured, and they are just curious about you. Like a fish. They can be bubbly and chatty or they can seem downright analytical, and that's the twins for you. Sometimes you just aren't sure which one you're interacting with. But deep down it all comes back to the same place of just being excited to know.

Cancer

Ah my little crab. That shell of yours tends to keep you from experiencing things first hand doesn't it? Often putting up defenses as soon as something new is introduced, a Cancer in this placement can seem incredibly shy at first. For a lot of people a first impression that you might've heard is "Awe, well aren't you just sweet?". However, sometimes that shut down instinct of yours can come across as trying to be detached. Keyword: Trying. Cancer still shows it's emotions in this sign very strongly, by (after feeling out a situation) showing a caring hand if one is needed.

Leo

You might think that Leo in this placement would be a bright star taking the center stage. You would be correct. They often feel like they are putting up an act in all areas of their life and this can lead to getting mentally sidetracked often. Leo is very much a drama llama in this placement. The lion likes to roar and have all eyes on them, there's no getting around this especially in the ascendant. When the sign is placed here they can come across as childish, and warm, like school vacation. They know their place in the world and there's nothing you can do to stop them. They're very self aware, and focus on all aspects of their life, and how that affects people's perception of them.

Virgo

A Virgo rising, is a bit more subdued than Leo, but not as much as Cancer. They just know how to keep to themselves. Oftentimes analyzing the situations that come before them and figuring out to handle it with grace. Virgo is the maiden, and that leads to modesty and introspection. Virgo is constantly listening out for what they might be trying to signal to themselves. Listening in for that subconscious perspective that may go amiss. They aren't the type to refrain from new situations like Cancer, but they do enter into each new experience with analytical caution. The moment that a situation fails the vibe check they are out faster than lightning.

Libra

Oh Libra, everyone loves you and that's not an understatement. I'm sure you've found that people are just attracted to you, they seem to want to be around you. Its because you feel so balanced and easy-going and just overall pleasant. But that's your game. You enjoy playing fair. So whenever a conflict or new situation arises, you're often looking for how to play it nice, so no one gets upset. This leads to many different people coming into a Libra risings life. The good, the bad, and the straight ugly. Relationships can be a soft spot for a Libra rising, and they often get into arguments with their partner because - hey, they just feel like they know best. Libra in this placement needs to stop letting fear rule their life - and compromise a bit more.

Scorpio

A Scorpio rising has an interesting magnetism to them. They can either push or pull people to them. Scare or entice. Furthermore, it never seems like there's an in-between between the two. Scorpio rising have a dark, mysterious, and powerful aura to them. (Think Dracula). It draws people in, they want to know more. But you don't let them do you Scorpio? When you're confronted with new situations you keep to yourself, you know this game, and if you're going to get through it- you're gonna let it figure itself out before you get involved. You like to read between the lines, and figure out situations while in the midst of them- relying on your own personal strategy for how you can control it.

Sagittarius

Have you ever met that person where you go out for a night on the town, and by the end of it they've convinced you that you should go all in on their soap making business? Who seems so keen on big ideas and promises- thinking that if they just try they can accomplish their goals? They might have been a Sagittarius rising. Sagittarius is a worldly sign, that is always looking at how to grow. They are very passionate and determined about the things they want to do and they have an easy charisma that convinces other people to go along with it. When a Sagittarius rising is met with a new challenge they face it head on and look for a way to turn that spark into a flame, always building upon themselves and looking for something grand.

Capricorn

Capricorn risings come across as pragmatic, and serious. They have a deadpan style of humour that kinda just hits home, in some of the most glorious of ways. Capricorn risings are seen as responsible, serious, and just ingeral like they have a really good head on their shoulders. When a Capricorn meets a challenge on the front end it may seem like they have it all worked out, striding through most of their problems with a good amount of determination and dedication. However, Capricorn (ruled by Saturn the planet of Karama and rules), often feels like they might not be doing enough. Creating a sense of insecurity within themselves when dealing with situations. Sometimes, the best that a Capricorn can do for themselves, is know they are enough.

Aquarius

Hello again my freaky little alien. From the planet of individualism itself, here you are. You really are into that counter- culture, do my own thing, ignore what other people think aren't you? You claim to like new experiences, that you like to meet people from all walks of life, that you are in general just very accepting of everything. But you don't really go out and try new things. That's the nature of an Aquarius. You avoid the new until you can't anymore. Then you find out- hey I actually really enjoy learning about this thing and I do accept that it may be a good experience. Aquarius is generally a very progressive sign, thinking and acting in what could be considered humanities best interests, and taking it all in stride.

Pisces

Pisces rising. Still with your head in the clouds. When you encounter new situations- it might take a second for you to realize that you're even in one. yet, when you do, you're able to figure out how to work through new issues with grace and ease, taking everything as it comes and letting it flow down the river of life. A Pisces rising is very directionless, never preferring a standard way of living. They can be pretty aimless in their pursuits and never seem to settle in one area for too long. They are truly free-minds that try to perceive their lives one day at a time, in single moments, as that's the way that they feel life needs to be perceived.

Wrap Up: Rising Signs for Beginners

That's a wrap on Rising Signs for Beginners. Everyone has their own ways to look at and interact with the world, and first times are important for everything. The last important thing to note, is that this is a very generalized way of looking at the rising signs. Many different things come into play. Other planets and how they interact with the rising can completely change the rising entirely. Take Leo rising for example, if you pair it with a Cancer sun- they might only act so flared and dramatic- when they're with family in friends. Or take an Aries rising and pair it with a Capricorn mars, that wild fire energy will become focused and directed into accomplishing their next tasks. So take these generalizations, and pair them with the natural ruler of the sign. Aries to mars, Leo to the sun, Pisces to Neptune- this will give a better indicator for how you in particular may express that energy.

But all in all that's all she wrote for today. Keep an eye out for the next post- Mercury Signs for Beginner: Lesson Four.

Stay groovy, and I'll catch you on the flip,

Cosmic Sage

Check out my other internet spaces:

www.mycosmicsage.com

www.instagram.com/mycosmicsage

www.ko-fi.com/cosmicsage

[uselessmicrowave]

Hello there :) may I please have a matchup for RID15 and/or Rescue Bots? (RID15 preferred if only 1 is allowed, but whatever you think matches best)

At first, I come across as aloof, calm, and socially awkward. I'm very to-the-point, and can sense BS very quickly. I never get involved in drama, but I might make a witty joke while I sit in my little corner and watch with popcorn. I've been told I'm very observant and I've been called an old soul. But when you get to know me, I can be a bit of a gremlin😆.

I have a huge imagination and I'm always daydreaming. I'm creative and I love storytelling. Especially theatre and writing. Once I start writing, I find it hard to stop (as you can see here😂). I'm a film geek who likes psychological horror movies (Hitchcock films, The Shining, Carrie, etc). But I also love Scooby Doo. Another thing I like is archery and being outdoors.

I may be a complete basketcase and 24/7 stressed, but I try to look on the bright side of things when I can, and I consider my life to be an adventure. I know my problems will be a fun story to tell at parties someday.

One thing I despise is being talked down to. I also hate when conversations get needlessly intellectual and philosophical. Like, I don't wanna use my one braincell!

Fun facts: I was born with weirdly shaped pinky fingers. They're both bent sideways. Apparently it's called "clinodactyli" or something, so that's cool. I have sensory issues. My favorite movie is Gremlins. One time, I accidentally printed, like, 87 pictures of a cat because I was a dumb 7-year-old, and the entire computer room was flooding with cats. My mom was so mad😂. Also, I'm terrible at videogames. I tried to play World of Warcraft once, and spent over an hour trying to get out of the canyon I accidentally jumped into.

I'm a Genini-Cancer cusp, (technically Gemini) Libra rising. INFP (although, the second time I took a test I got INFJ so idk lol).

Hello! I’ll be matching you with RID15 Fixit and RB Chase.

Fixit

He loves to hear about your daydreams! He just adores hearing your stories and works in progress, the premise, the plot, whatever it is, he’ll listen.

He also has sensory issues, so he’ll avoid his own sensory issues and the textures you don’t like as well.

Fixit will try to watch horror movies with you, but he’ll end up hugging onto you and hiding his face from the screen. He will get spooked while watching Scooby Doo, as well.

He’ll try to get some stress off of your shoulders, he wants to help you out with things (organization/sorting, moving manageable things, ect.).

Chase

He has the same amount of tech knowledge that you do, and he’s done something similar with the Burns’ printer.

Chase will also watch arguments from a corner with you, he can’t eat popcorn but he thinks it’s funny.

He’ll attempt to help you in your video games but somehow messes up harder.

He likes to look at your writing and works in progress, even if he doesn’t have permission to. He just loves your writing so much…

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Let's talk about Ray Lana Del Rey. and her impact on the music industry. How well she has done and how she literally represents Americana. In such a way, this is what I think Courtney Love has quite a bit of respect for her Cos renoval Courtney to like when she sang heart-shaped book she was like you doing her. This song is about my vigilan. Which is just so funny to me and it it's true. It was about a vagina below, which is also about the box. As she gave him, which was heart-shaped, so yeah, there's there's Courtney ❤️ loving her, and they ended up touring together as some point I believe um. We'll be around 2015

But yes, she really represents this idea miracle. An old Hollywood taking you back to a time. You didn't even know, but she does it so well and she doesn't hide any of the various things either such as Harvey's in the sky. You are all the Wednesday. Everybody knew what he was up to and how Ah powerful, a man or us, and they were scared for we're getting fired. But this is a problem a lot of the time. Good people do nothing cause they're scared of in trouble. I get it, but people should've been less scared of someone like. Did he she Elaine, Del Rey had a huge move? Miss feud, who features ever around the female version of 50 Cent,

Azelia banks About the fact that Conney was wearing the micra hat at the time, I think it was or you talking about. Best white sided the views. But I don't know why these celebrities also, after we say democratic, is it just another part of the game? There are pieces of main checks who wants to be asleep. In fact, some songs even use a certain hurts h. Z to make you feel even angry, upset, confused and the list goes on of what it does. I'm not too sure completely they're too long and her disagreement with his Ilia and over

, she was like, can't be invested in what a black man says as a white privileged woman and like Lana, literally took her to the as of the comments like I feel your slight. Meddling, working, I'll get you. Dreams were not institute. If you're on a flight. Tell you when I'll be there and I'll pull up. So she's not so many scared, I think it's eighth, they would resume. I think a lot of the time they're not. They just don't take it seriously because the list post on tick. Talk about good music, terrible person I think she was on it. Brazilian, not wrong, obviously so more about rhino. Her first level miss called born to Delhi. I remember when friend going, yeah, there's one I just couldn't get into it. That it's only been the last few years over really, I'll come into loving every time.

.

Some people argue, she's gem and I always argue she's a cancer cause she's born homeless so this time, but she said she's definitely a cancer she thought she was a Gemini, her whole life and/or a load of geminist staff like I guess ornaments and stuff. Like that and earrings, things like that anyway here and then she's point about years ago if she was a campses, so she's all loads of things. For a council version instead. But yeah, which people out that she is not a Gemini. Can you not tell from my music like she's fucking cancer?

He hit me, and it felt like a kiss. That's some cancer shit right there. I know it's not her song. That called me daughter, too. She's a cancer, it was nice, we've made very strongly and I've got a lot of cancer basements. But yeah, it's like a good one, my opinion. It's probably a bit edgy a bit like her song, Pepsi cola..

[razor-tits]

A very long and over due life update.

So, to start this off I guess I need to back up. Let's start in October. It feels like yesterday but also a lifetime ago. Things were...ok I'd say. Boring, routine, the only shake up was my hormones ran out and my job was changing our insurance, so I had to cancel my follow up appointment for bloodwork and a refill. But then I got some bad news from my parents.

My dad had a heart attack and was in the hospital. He was ok, but he needed surgery. First they thought just a stent, but then decided he needed a triple bypass. I have a pretty good relationship with my parents, but we're kind of distant. I live a few hours away and only see them around the holidays but we talk on the phone weekly. My dad can lean a little on the conservative side but both of them are the absolute salt of the earth. They're done so much to help me and I felt powerless to be able to help. I couldn't leave work and felt like there was nothing I could do.

The next couple weeks were rough, my dad was staying in the hospital, my mom was going back and forth staying with him and taking care of my grandma, who is in her late 80's and has a litany of health issues. On a Friday I finally managed to make the drive home and spend the weekend there. Seeing my dad laid up in a hospital gown tied to machines is something i'll never forget. He could get up and move and acted like he was ok. But he's one of those guys you meet and you think he's invincible. The kind of guy that put a new roof on our house with a broken finger and can't turn away a stray animal at the door. Some family members I hadn't seen in a long time came and went over the weekend. Thoughts of our own mortality set in and I realize this could be the last time I see any of them.

I've lost people before. Some of them suddenly and unexpectedly. Others who's death was almost a sigh of relief after fighting for so long. I never got to say goodbye when my friend died and I hope he knows how much he meant to me. I don't want to feel that again, ever.

The day of surgery came. He was in the OR for 3 hours but it felt like an eternity and a second at the same time. A few hours after that my mom and I were able to see him. He was extubated already, which was a good sign. But he was on heavy medication, incoherent, coming in and out of sleep. But he knew I was there and that's all that mattered.

I had to leave and make my way back to my parents to get my dog, and then make the 2 hour drive back to Ohio and go back to work in the morning. At this point I knew my dad would be ok, he just had to get through recovery. But now thoughts of my own health were worrying me. I'm not in the best shape, I don't exercise or work out. I've already had surgery to fix stomach problems. Everyone on my dad's side has heart problems, and everyone on my mom's side has cancer and diabetes. There's not much I do to prevent any of that. I'm in my 30's and I feel it, maybe more than I should.

Over the next couple months my mental health continues to fall. I had a birthday and spent it sick, as I always seem to do. It's always a rough time of year for me. Seasonal depression kicks in, I get older, and another year passes. My dog, my best friend, the reason I kept myself alive, is getting old. I see it more and more every day and it breaks my heart.

The holidays came and went. I saw my grandma for the first time in a few years. Always wondering if it will be the last. Despite that, this year I never felt less in the holiday spirit. I used to love this time of year, now I desperately try to enjoy it, but part of me just wants it to be over. The best part seems to be a few days off work.

At this point it should be noted I have not restarted hormones. My identity has always been more in flux than i've let on, and maybe that needs to be it's own post, but I don't know if I want to start again or not. I don't know what I want, I don't know what my goals are. I don't know who i am. Beyond basic hygiene, I really don't even feel like taking care of myself most days. I pretty much always feel melancholic. I'm not angry, I don't get excited, I don't have much joy. My sex drive is non existent and I have no desire to do...well, anything.

New year's comes and I honestly couldn't care. It feels like another day. My gf and I go out and have an Ok time. I'm just so tired all the time it's hard for me to go out and enjoy myself like I used to.

And then, a couple days ago my landlord calls. We have to move out. Not sure when, but probably soon. I'm heartbroken and panicking over it. We absolutely love our house. We've only been here about a year and a half but it's been wonderful. It has plenty of room, privacy, it's quiet. We can leave our doors unlocked and packages aren't stolen off our porch. We're allowed both of our dogs and all 3 of our cats with no issues. We've invested so much time and money here. My gf is close with the owners and their children, who were the previous tenants. We even thought about trying to buy this house off of them when their other kid moves out of the downstairs apartment. And it's affordable. Anything else like what we have now will cost double and we can't afford that.

Our last apartment was tiny, cramped, dark and ran by an awful property investment company. And now we have to deal with that again. If we can even find a place where we can take 5 animals. We can hide 2 of the cats, but not all of them. We're in no position to buy nor do we have the time to go through the process. My gf said we may have to find 2 different apartments and live separately for a while. Just the thought of that brings me to tears. I can't live without her, I can't live without our pets. We're a family. I don't know what to do.

Since I got the phone call I've done nothing but panic, contact rental agencies and weigh my options. None of them are good. Best case scenario is we move in a smaller, worse place, paying more rent.

Nothing is going right for me. I know this isn't insurmountable and nothing that people haven't gone through before. But...god damn I need a break and I can't get one.

[rockshitty]

As a caveat, I love analytical ai. ai that can recognize cancer cells and pastries and deer and shit? Cool. Neat. Not beyond reproach and not impossible to use for evil but not what we're talking about here. My beef in this post is with generative ai. So, assume when I'm talking about ai from now on until the reblog button, it's generative ai.

My core beef with generative ai is that language has degrees of complication that a lot of other shit that's getting generated doesn't, and with every degree of complication it gets harder (and takes more computing power and training data) to generate. You can retroactively see it in the language models we've done so far.

There's a huge mass of randomly generated text, truly randomly generated, most of it is just letters and spaces at total random, thousands of pages of it, that managed to make three words in a row at some point. For the generative computing power that was available at the time that's *incredible.* At the same time as that was going on, analytic computing had mostly solved the game of chess.

I still remember the fun and funky early-ai recipe experiments. A language model got fed thousands of recipes and spit out its best approximation. Some of them were readable. Some of them were even recognizably recipe-like. None of them would have made an edible food and a few of them involved rocks. It was fun and quirky. That was where generative computing was at the time and it was amazing.

Now we're facing some new problems. There are a few degrees of linguistic complication between "recognizable language" and "true statement" and they get harder to hurdle as we continue. We've gotten to the point where ai can make truth-shaped statements on command, sometimes. But you know what else is a truth-shaped statement? An unreality post. A misinformation campaign. A lie. Bullshit.

There's a conversation right now in the fact-checking world about what makes a fact. Is it something that is word-by-word literally true? Is it something that might not be literally true, but conveys an overarching meaning that's true? Is a metaphor a true statement? Is an obfuscation that leaves out important information, but doesn't have anything false in its wording? Is our best understanding from 30 years ago true?

We have recognizable statements, literally true statements, and meaningfully true statements as complications of language that somehow, at some point, artificial intelligence is going to have to learn. Every step upwards is going to have to take more data, more power, more complicated math before it can be done on command.

I'm not going to say it's impossible. But we're not there yet.

[kogo-dogo]

My fiance and I are trying to start an exercise routine to get into better shape now that (after eleven years) I finally have answers to What Makes Everything Hurt and How To Make It Not Do That, and it got me thinking about what could have been if I had just had any doctor listen to me when I was in my twenties.

I have never been stick thin--even at my healthiest, I was built like an ox--but I used to bike six miles a day, five days a week. I went to a pilates class M/T/F. I swam laps twice a week if I could manage to fit in the time. I worked a job that was very physically demanding. But I wasn't stick thin, so when I suddenly started having such severe pain I couldn't do anything, it was always blamed on my weight. ALWAYS blamed on my weight. I had a doctor trick me into taking phentermine when I complained about my fatigue, and I only found out what it really was when I came back and he lamented that I hadn't lost weight.

I was literally in so much pain that I had my brother bring a futon mattress down to the living room because I didn't have the wherewithal to make it up the stairs to my room to go to bed. That sudden of a change after being extremely physically active. And they still blamed my fucking weight.

It wasn't until I was in my thirties and started having heart issues that anyone told me anything aside from "lose some weight" and "take an anxiety pill." I found one doctor who didn't immediately blame everything on my weight, and they slapped me with a Zio monitor after the fifteenth time I ended up in the ER for almost blacking out while changing clothes or what-the-fuck-ever, and that led to blood tests and specialists and wow, did you know that I actually have a laundry list of health problems?

Like my thyroid doesn't work right? I have PCOS and a condition that fucks up my hormones and makes me more at-risk for uterine cancer? Did you know that I have an irregular heartbeat because my thyroid was ignored for so long? And that I inherited my dad's fucking psoriatic arthritis that I have been telling doctors about for years but they said I was too young to have it and I just needed to lose weight?

And I got really emotional in the shower earlier because all I could think of is all the years of pain that would have been missed and how much more capable I'd be and how much permanent damage could have been avoided if the very first doctor I went to didn't blame everything on my weight and ignore every fucking thing I said. Because now I can finally wear my favorite shoes again because my ankles aren't swollen so big that I can't zip my boots up (the arthritis did that!) and I am trying to get back into shape (carefully, because the heart thing!) and I'm just very, very mad thinking about all the things I haven't done just because I hurt so bad, for legitimate I Am Fucking Sick reasons, and everyone just said, "You're fat. That's why."

If anyone ever tries to tell you that all your problems are because of your weight, you should fucking kick them in the face.

[saetiate]

oh my god i'm just hopping in here today to say i have a butt mole, too!! i don't know anyone else that has one, let alone a duo! mine is at the top, close to center. and like. that mole is so oddly a part of my butt's identity that the thought of getting rid of it bothers me and i would be so miffed if i would have to have it removed for cancer reasons or whatever.

like. this is not what i was expecting on my dash today, but i dunno i'll share with you, you brought this up not me! i always thought it was kinda cute and a nice surprise for anyone that flipped me over lol.

if there's anything about my body that bothers me i try to remember that the thing i dislike about my body is probably something that someone else would really like to have on theirs. i really cringe at my face shape sometimes, and i have moments where i trip up and kinda get stuck on it, but what i've learned is to walk back and remember that this physical thing i don't like about myself isn't bad.

in fact, it's something that someone out there might have admired or desired for their whole life. (even if it does sound kinda funny in the context of butt moles, but hey, there's gotta be a big fan out there somewhere lol i mean seriously we're on tumblr.com if anyone should know this it's us :D)

what is kinda cool about my mole (aside from my appreciation of it) is that i have another mole at my hipbone on the other side, too, so i like to think of them as double sided moles. like, flip me over and it's still there! not perfectly, but well you get the drift, leave it to the imagination, there's beauty in imperfect, blah blah, i just like 'em.

OMGGG ANON WE ARE BUTT MOLE FRIENDS !!! i am genuinely so relieved to hear other people have them too and that you like them 🥹🥹 makes me have hope that someone might feel the same about mine aldjkwkdkd ok i’m gonna put my stuff below the cut bc this is getting long!!

my frame of mind truly has been like Changed and Reframed from seeing yours and everyone else’s reactions to moles tbh bc i’ve never liked mine personally but i’m neutral to everyone else’s!!! like this was definitely a me problem and i’m so grateful to have people like u to come here and help me realize that !!! and i definitely have a newfound appreciation for them now!!!

I LOOVE that you have mirroring moles on either side of u omg that’s so cute :’))) and i love the idea of it being a surprise!! like the people you’re intimate w will know smth about u that other people don’t i think that’s so sweet wahhh

also fr someone will love them HAHA LIKE there are indeed a few writers on here that talk about kissing the moles of charas that have them like karasu from blue lock (which is smth ave aka @/venustrvck brought to my attention!!) so it’s defs a thing and finding that out !!! has made me so heartwarmed!!

and fr like imooo all body things are Neutral or Loved like those are the two options <3 i am sure your face shape is very beautiful, people in general are beautiful and the fact u would come to my inbox just to say all this already tells me how wonderful you truly are

thank you so much for dropping this in my inbox ahhhh i loved hearing this genuinely !!! i feel so much more eased about smth that i was genuinely feeling so insecure about aldjwkdn like it really means so much to me!!! thank you friend!! <33

[radioactiveradley]

PATHOLOGY OF THE URINARY SYSTEM (aka: STUFF WHAT GOES WRONG WITH YER PISS BEANS)

(AND YER PISS TUBES)

(and the pretty pictures I take of them)

[a warning: this post contains radiographic images and non-graphic description of serious kidney pathologies, including paediatric cancer]

Let's kick off with an old familiar friend! Yeah, I'm talking -

UROLITHIASIS (the humble kidney stone!)

Wanna know something horrific? The biggest kidney stone on record weighed over a kilogram. It was 17 cm across. Just. Imagine. Trying to piss that out…

Urolithiases are formed anywhere among your urinary tracts. They’re commonly found in the kidneys, giving rise to the more common term, renal calculi, or kidney stones.

Urolithiasis occurs when compounds within your urine crystallise. If your urine becomes too acidic, too base, contains too many of these compounds for them to remain in solution, or simply… sits around too long without flowing, it literally petrifies into a solid lump!

Some unlucky souls are just… predisposed to developing them. If you have had a kidney stone in the past, you are far more likely to get another one in the future. There also seems to be a genetic link – so if someone in your immediate family gets kidney stones, you have a higher risk.

Kidney stones typically hang out in the pelvis of your kidney and don’t cause an issue. Until you try to piss them out. Remember our kidney diagram (drawn on a conveniently shaped bean)?

You might notice that the ureters are significantly smaller than the renal pelvis. In other words…

Most renal calculi are made of CALCIUM (oxalate, usually). This is very, very good (for us. Less so for you) because calcium attenuates x-rays – meaning, it glows all pretty and shiny when we take a radiograph!

Here’s a kidney stone on an Abdominal X-Ray!

And a twinkly artefact caused by a kidney stone on Ultrasound!

But the best way to assess urolithiases, is, of course, with CT!

For realsies. We don’t need to inject contrast intravenously, because the kidney stones are (typically) shiny – which cuts down on time and worry, as it means you’re at no risk for having an adverse reaction! So a CT KUB (checking Kidneys, Ureters and Bladder for stones) is basically just a quick tumble in the washing machine (CT scanner), with a lovely clear picture as a result!

Look at these babies!! So sharp!!! So clear!!!!!! So shiny!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s a beautiful matching pair of renal calculi right there – and to make things better, they’re (currently) non-obstructive, so this patient isn’t in suffering The Agonies!

Speaking of The Agonies…

Most kidney stones are passable, albeit with extreme pain.

However, some ain’t going anywhere. Especially staghorn calculi, which, um. One, stags have antlers. Two…

more like a fuckin' MOOSE ANTLER amirite????

But yeah, those buggers aren’t coming out. That’s almost definitely going to require surgery!

Smaller calculi can still cause problems when they become obstructive – i.e., they block the passage of your peepee. They can lead to:

HYDRONEPHROSIS (dilation of the renal pelvis due to retained urine, seen here in the Left kidney [right side of image])

HYDROURETER (dilation of the ureter)

So, what do we do with bothersome calculi? How about some...

EXTRACORPOREAL SHOCKWAVE LITHOTRIPSY (ECSWL, because we love a sexy little acronym here in medworld).

We blast the stone apart with shockwaves, from outside your body! Ultrasound turned up to 11! Unfortunately, it only works on certain densities of stone, and on small stones.

LASER LITHOTRIPSY

(same thing but…. ZIP ZAP LASERZZZZZ]

SURGERY – PERCUTANEOUS NEPHROLITHOTOMY (PCNL).

(I totally haven’t added to this diagram in any way. This is how it works. Trust me.)

LOADS of other stuff can go wrong with The Ol’ Piss Beans

We have:

RENAL CELL CARCINOMA

The most common form of kidney cancer.

For suspected malignancies, we do a CT Urogram that assesses the whole urinary tract. This takes significantly longer than a KUB, but is well worth the results. This is a three-phase scan. We do...

A regular KUB non-contrast scan to check for calculi and to get our baseline Hounsfield Units ('grayness' and densities) for the kidneys. Then we inject contrast in a 'split bolus' - one load immediately, and another roughly 8 minutes in, scanning roughly a minute after the second injection is given. We scan 80 secs after the first contrast bolus is administrered, for the 'nephographic' phase, which enhances the renal cortex & medulla, and makes neoplastic changes and renal masses obvious (see image above). Then we wait 10-ish minutes and scan for the 'excretory' phase, after the contrast has worked its way through your kidneys, to detect 'filling defects' (anything that stops contrast opacification of the ureters) and pathologies related to the urinary collection system.

NEPHROBLASTOMA

This is one of the more common cancers found in kids. Although paediatric cancer is never exactly a happy topic, this cancer is now curable in roughly 90% of cases, thanks to the early removal of kidneys and the possibility of transplants.

Autosomal Dominant (and Recessive) Polycystic Kidney Disease

An inherited renal disease that can cause you to go into End Stage Renal Failure due to the healthy tissue in your kidneys becoming completely overtaken by cysts. As a result, your kidneys can grow more and more, until they practically fill your whole abdomen. 45% of patients will be in ESRF and need dialysis by the age of 60. Thankfully, transplants are an option.

Other commonly encounutered renal pathologies include trauma, which I talked about in my first kidney ramble (linked here!), infections, and more.

I hope you enjoyed this whistle-stop tour of Stuff That Can Go Wrong With The Kidney, And How We Look At Them Gnarly Beans!

....And, um, I spent way too long making this and now need to pee. This is your reminder to go empty that bladder if you need to! Stop those stones!

[cryptidsurveys]

Friday, July 19th, 2024.

Do you want the last dream you had to come true? No. It wasn't a bad dream - it was just bizarre - but life is bizarre enough already.

When did you last talk to the person you’d most wanna talk to right now? That would be my dad, and I talked to him just a couple of minutes ago while I was washing my lunch dishes.

What kind of pill did you last take? Migraine meds.

Do you like wearing glasses? I don't mind wearing them while I drive, but aside from that, I almost never wear them.

Does your mom know the last person you hung out with? I haven't properly "hung out" with anyone in ages.

What were you doing 4 hours ago? Let's see…that would have been around 9:40am…so I was probably weighing cats.

What would you most like to eat right now? I'm good. I just finished eating a chicken salad.

How long were you last in the car for? 15-20 minutes.

What is something good that happened last weekend? I can't think of anything specific. It was just a generally nice weekend comprised of the usual stuff.

Do you like holding hands or do you think it’s stupid? I like it.

The last song you heard, what does it make you think of? I listened to a classical radio station on the way home from the shelter, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was just kind of zoning out on my own random thoughts.

How’d you get your last injury? I don't recall my last injury.

What do you like about your birthday? It's gotten to the point where it's just another day. I did go out to eat with my parents this year, but that was basically it.

Do you like being home alone at night? It depends on why I'm alone. I live with my dad, so if he was gone overnight, that might indicate that something bad had happened.

What first comes to mind when thinking of 10th grade? Other than hospitalizations for my eating disorder, not a whole lot. Even those have more or less dissolved into a blur.

What’s the scariest thing that’s happened to you? Probably finding out my dad had cancer. Thankfully, it's been well-managed and he's in relatively good health.

Has an ambulance ever came to your house? A few times.

The person you’re thinking about - what are you thinking about them? Due to the last two questions, I'm thinking about my dad. I'm just grateful he's doing as well as he is. He's the most important person in my life and I honestly don't know what I would do without him.

When did you last skip class? Yeeears ago.

Do you like the shape of your fingernails? Ehhh.

Did you look at your fingernails for the question above? Lol, yeah.

Whose pool did you last swim in? I don't remember the last time I went swimming, but possibly a hotel pool.

What’s something you like about your 3rd hour? N/a.

Is formspring a good idea? Oh wow, is this survey really that old…? We've got ourselves a veritable fossil on our hands.

What’s your biggest problem at the moment? I guess it's not really a problem because I've been dealing with it for a while now and I might have found some sort of solution. I want to spend more time at the animal shelter; however, I don't think Alex and Cassie really want me around. I don't think it's personal; I think they just wish there were no volunteers whatsoever. I have my own agenda, though. Animal shelter work is my passion, and I plan on being there long after they're gone, so I tend to ignore those subtle vibes. So, solution one is to simply outlast them. But solution two, in the meanwhile, is to start doing more work on the dog side of things. Do what I need to do in cattery, then get out of their hair. Because, honestly, they aren't the sole arbiters of the shelter, and there are other people there who might actually appreciate the help. Also, it's no longer about people-pleasing. It's about building up my own abilities, working toward my own future, and doing something that truly brings me joy. I'm not going to let a couple of nobodies stand in the way of my dreams. ;D

What’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you? I'm not sure.

When did you last see a police car? Within the past couple of days.

Why aren’t you doing something more productive than this? I don't wanna.

How many different cars have you driven? Five, I think? Although four out of the five were very brief experiences.

What did you do on Thursday? I stayed at the animal shelter all day. From 7am to 5:40pm. To the bitter end, lmao. It was definitely tiring, but it was also pretty chill, and it's something I'm planning on doing more often. Maybe 1-2 times a week to start and then I'll slowly build up from there. After seeing more of the process for myself, I think Alex and Cassie might be sort of unfair to the dog people. They're always on their feet, taking dogs out rain or shine; it's extremely loud and chaotic; there's more danger and safety precautions involved; the work is more strenuous; etc. Cattery is a breeze in comparison. I know cattery doesn't like staying late for the dog stuff to be finished, but I don't think it's anyone's fault. They're just understaffed, so it's going to take longer, and under the circumstances, I think everyone is doing their best. I certainly didn't notice anyone slacking or goofing off or whatever has been implied. Alex might be a bit of an unreliable narrator...go figure. :')

But yeah, I hung out with some dogs in the yard, did some doggy dishes, and helped dry kennels at the end of the day, and it was just nice to be around a different mix of people. I'm looking forward to exploring/experiencing more of that side of things.

What color was the last thing you drank? Clear.

What do you do on Fridays? Volunteer. I was there today from around 7:20am-12:15pm.

Have you ever had to take desperate measures in a desperate situation? Yeah.

What door did you last open besides any on your house or car? The front door to the shelter.

What is the meaning of life? I don't know whether or not life has any inherent meaning. Maybe the only meaning is whatever you think it is…so you better think good thoughts because in the end thoughts are all you really have, huh?

[newvegascowboy]

There's a faint sunburn on Red's face in the shape of their sunglasses. In the sun, the bright copper of their hair is almost liquid gold. Arcade knows beneath those mirrored shades reflecting his own face, Red's green eyes are crinkling at the corners, but no amount of aesthetics is going to make him forget that Red is an asshole, and their grin gives him agitah.

"You worried about getting stranded out here with little ol' me?"

"I'm worried about dying of exposure," Arcade says. "Or skin cancer."

"That takes time to develop. You'll be fine." As if to antagonize him further, Red pulls the cigarette our from behind their ear and places it between their lips. Their attention returns to the engine. Arcade let's out a little breath, looking down the stretch of baked asphalt. The road is empty but for a battered mile marker. He almost expects a tumbleweed to roll across the road as Red speaks again. "Besides, someone's bound to come down this way eventually. If I don't get this fixed, we can just hitchhike."

"First I'm trusting my safety to the fate of your deathtrap on wheels, then to the kindness of random strangers," Arcade sighs. "What a day."

"You've got a problem with hitchhiking, too?"

"People die hitchhiking," Arcade says. "Or get robbed."

Sitting back on their heels, Red rubs at their cheek with the back of their hand, leaving a streak of grease behind on their skin. "You're very paranoid," they note, head tilting to the side. Even hidden behind their shades, Red's eyes feel sharp.

Arcade hitches a shoulder to shake the itchy feeling crawling up his spine. "I like to think of it as a healthy fear of the unknown," he says.

"Or you're just anxious and neurotic," Red points out.

"Or that." Arcade shrugs again. "Though considering we've only known each other a collective hour and a half, I don't know if you're in the position to be passing judgement."

Red spreads their hands. "Hey, I'm not judging," they say, leaning forward to delve back into the engine of their motorcycle. "Just making an observation."

"Well, keep it to yourself."

Chuckling softly, Red shakes their head. "Yes, sir."