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bijouxcarys · 1 day ago

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𝑻𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑩𝒊𝒏𝒅 (𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝑹𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒔 𝒙 𝑶𝑪) - 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝑺𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏

Masterlist

Character Profiles/Face Claims

Playlist

A/N: Finally chapter 17 (the second half of chapter 16 that made it too bloody long)! I know you're all going to enjoy this one because you're all filthy little hobbits. Jokes, I love u all for all the support and love you keep leaving me. I love engagement with my work and it really helps with motivation, as I'm sure any writer would tell you. Anyways, as always, I hope you all enjoy this one ;)

CW/TW: S m u t central, pure filth, some angst

Tags: @empressdede @thetribalqueen @heauxvibez @bigsimperika

@cyberdejos2 @keyaho @headoftheetable @jstarr86 @southerngirl41

@tshepisho @cry1nwhileimcumm1n @maeb99 @thedesireds @dzdndcnfsd

@expert-texpert @niknakbucks92 @sillyteecup @trentybenty @pittieprincess22

@electronicwitchsandwich @thefairywithboots

(If you want to be tagged in any future Roman fics, just let me know!)

It took a little under an hour for Nate’s phone to buzz with the incoming text from Roman telling her he had arrived. In that time, she’d moved upstairs to grab a jacket, not entirely comfortable leaving the house at midnight in the December weather of New York.

She stood from her spot on the edge of her bed, smoothing out the tight fabric of her dress before stumbling ever-so-slightly in her heels. It would have been a smart move to just… change shoes, but she didn’t even think of that. All she could think about was… Roman.

Okay, okay, just walk normal, she reminded herself, steadying her steps as she quietly made her way downstairs, turning away from the direction in which Dimitri had his associates gathered. She almost couldn’t believe she’d managed to slip out the back door of the house without making a sound loud enough to alert someone.

The further away she got from the house, the more surreal the situation felt. She was sneaking out of her own home, half-drunk, to meet Roman Reigns—Roman Reigns, of all people. You’d think the shock of being somewhat civil with her family’s number one enemy would have dulled out by now, but nope. That shit was rampant when she let herself think too much about it. She couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh to herself.

The alcohol had fully caught up with her now, making everything around her slightly fuzzy, but not enough to forget what was going on. She followed the narrow path down from the estate, through the hedges and along the private road. Her phone buzzed again, another text from Roman.

Parked down the street. Just past the bend.

Nate squinted down the dark road. Of course, he wouldn’t park right in front of the house. He wasn’t stupid. Roman knew better than to make himself too obvious, especially in her family’s territory. A mafia boss meeting with the daughter of another mafia boss wasn’t exactly a low-stakes situation.

After a couple of minutes of walking—well, more like ungraceful, slightly wobbly striding—Nate finally spotted that familiar black sedan parked a little further down the road, barely visible under the faint glow of a street lamp. She could see the faint outline of him sitting in the driver’s seat, his headlights off but the dim interior lights on, just enough to catch sight of him.

Roman had a presence even when doing nothing. Broad shoulders, thick arms resting casually on the wheel. Profile perfectly illuminated in the saturated light. Damn. It didn’t matter how drunk Nate was, he always managed to look like he belonged directly in the centre of attention.

She approached the passenger side, swayling a little more than she would’ve liked, and when Roman saw her, his neutral expression shifted slightly. Narrowing his eyes the same way he did every time he focused in on something.

He gave her a once-over, his gaze travelling from her legs, up the tight-fitting dress that wrapped around every line and bend of her body, and lingering on the exposed skin where her dress dipped low in the front. His observation was slow, deliberate, and left no room for misunderstanding. Appreciation in his dark eyes.

With a grin through the window, she knocked lightly on the glass. He gave her a half-smirk as he leaned over and unlocked the door for her. Nate pulled it open, sliding into the passenger seat with as much grace as she could muster, which, given her current state, wasn’t much.

“You’re late,” she teased, turning to him with a playful pout.

Roman raised an eyebrow at her, clearly amused. “Takes time to sneak into enemy territory,” he said.

She sighed dramatically, leaning her head back against the seat. “You’re lucky I didn’t pass out waiting for you.”

Shifting the car into gear, Roman shook his head and huffed. “You’re buzzed as hell, huh?”

Nate lifted her head to look at him, her smile widening. “Maybe just a little. Or a lot. But hey, you’re here, so I must be doing something right.”

He gave her a sideways glance, his lips twitching up in that way that always made her stomach flip. “Didn’t think you’d be callin’ me up for a rescue mission. What happened to that tough act?”

She waved her hand dismissively, as if to brush off the idea that she needed rescuing. “I don’t need rescuing. I just… didn’t wanna be there anymore. Family’s being weird.”

“Weird how?”

Nate rested her hands in her lap, playing with the ring on her left hand that she despised wearing, but no more than she despised the fact she forgot to take it off after her perfect wife attempt tonight. She looked over at Roman, taking in the sight of his profile: strong. Beard creating the perfect frame around his chin. Hesitating, she wondered how much she should share. Then again, the alcohol had loosened her tongue enough tonight.

“Ugh, you wouldn’t believe it,” she groaned, throwing her hands up. “My dad dropped the bomb that Katya’s getting married to Alexei.”

“Who the fuck is Alexei?”

“A right knobhead,” Nate snorted, disregarding the need to control her less-than-subtle accent and strong British dialect. “It’s like… if you took Boris, made him even worse, and added a few inches in height. And reallyyyy bad teeth.”

“Damn,” Roman hummed. “Sounds like a piece of work.”

“You have no idea. Katya’s gonna lose her mind. Or worse, she’ll just… disappear inside herself. She’s not strong like that.” Nate leaned her head against the window, sighing heavily. “It’s all just so… so fucked.”

There was a period of silence, the car humming softly beneath them as Roman drove down the quieter streets. She closed her eyes for a moment, letting herself sink into the comfort of the seat. Her mind was still going a hundred miles a second, but being with Roman, here, away from the mess of her family, felt strangely… safe.

“Hey.”

She blinked her eyes open and peered over at Roman, who was staring straight ahead at the road in front of him.

“You ain’t your family,” he said quietly. “You know that, right?”

Nate swallowed, his simple statement settling over her like a blanket. She didn’t answer him right away, just nodded slightly, even though she barely believed that. When she was younger, there was nothing more she wanted than to follow in the footsteps of Dimitri Volkov. To be just like him. Have the kind of unmatched power that he had.

But now, at 27, she wanted to be… anything else.

Before she could dwell on it too much, Roman’s voice broke through her thoughts again.

“You wanna talk about somethin’ else?” he asked. “Or we just gon’ sit here all night with you bein’ all depressed and shit?”

She managed a laugh, her mood lifting a little at his jesting tone. “Fine… What do you wanna talk about, oh wise one?”

“Ain’t much of a talker, Princess, you know that.”

“Yeah, well, you’re talking to me now, aren’t you?”

He gave her a look, one that said she was pushing it, but the corners of his mouth tugged up in that signature smirk of his. “You got a smart mouth for someone who needed my help.”

Nate leaned back in her seat. “Oh, you love it.”

Roman’s stifled chuckle was low, rumbling through the car as they turned down another street. “Sure, let’s go with that.”

The silence that followed was comfortable, but after a few minutes, Nate found herself watching Roman out of the corner of her eye.

“You have a really nice nose,” she blurted out without thinking.

Roman’s head jerked slightly as he shot her a look. “What?”

“Your nose,” she repeated, gesturing vaguely in his direction before leaning closer, squinting at him. “It’s like… shapely. Strong. A good nose.”

“You’re drunk, Nate.”

“I’m not that drunk,” she protested, sitting back up, though she didn’t seem entirely convinced herself. “I’m just observant. Your nose is nice.”

Roman smirked. “It’s crooked.”

Nate gasped, her eyes widening in dramatic disbelief. “No, it’s not! It’s—” She reached out, her fingers hovering just inches from his face like she was considering touching his nose but stopped herself. “It’s perfect, Roman. Whoever told you it’s crooked is an idiot.”

“Well, I didn’t say anyone told me. I know it’s crooked. Had to have it fixed a couple times from being broken.”

She just shook her head vigorously, her wavy hair bouncing with the motion. “Nope. It’s perfect. Just like the rest of you.”

She wasn’t being subtle at all tonight. The vodka had completely eroded whatever filter she normally had, and it was obvious she was laying it on thick. He could feel the heat from her stare, and the way her gaze lingered on him was making his blood run a little hotter.

“You flirtin’, Volkov?” he asked somewhat playfully, yet seriously like he wasn’t opposed to the idea.

“Depends,” Nate grinned, biting her bottom lip. “You like it?”

Deepening his amused smile, he gave her a quick glance. “You know I don’t mind attention… But I don’t think your ass is in any shape to be making moves right now.”

“I am not that drunk,” she reiterated, leaning closer again. This time, her arm brushed his as she shifted, and he tensed slightly, more aware of her proximity than he cared to admit. “I’m just… I don’t know,” she sighed, lowering her head to look down at the centre console. “You’re easy to talk to.”

Roman’s eyebrows scrunched together, not sure if she meant that or if it was just the alcohol talking. Either way, it took him by surprise. Nate wasn’t the type to get emotional with other people, and Roman wasn’t even sure they were close enough to be letting her guard down like that.

“You sure that ain’t the drink talkin’?” he asked.

“Maybe. But I don’t think it matters at this point,” Nate snorted, leaning back and closing her eyes as she rested her head back on the seat. Roman glanced over at her, once again taking in the sight of such a beautiful woman in his car.

Oh, the amount of times he would have had her laid out and begging for more if she wasn’t a Volkov. That time in the safehouse was one too many, but he needed more. There was still so much in his warped fantasies that he’d not yet made a reality. In every which way he could have her, he wanted it. He wanted to bury his face between those plush thighs of hers, savour every bit of her as she writhed and whimpered for him. Wanted to leave his mark on her, let Boris know that she didn’t need him to make her fall apart completely.

“Nah,” Nate cackled, opening her eyes. “You’d know if I was flirting.”

“Pretty sure this is flirting.”

“I’m just telling the truth!” she insisted, her voice rising in pitch and volume. “You’re all, like, perfect or whatever. All this,” she motioned to him with both hands now. “You’ve got that whole… big, brooding, alpha-male thing going on, and don’t even get me started on those fucking eyes.”

“My eyes?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah,” she nodded enthusiastically, leaning in as if she was imparting some great secret. “Your eyes are, like… intense. In a good way. But they’re also… kinda warm, you know? Like, you’ve got that look where you can either kill a guy or make someone feel all safe. Dual-purpose eyes.”

Roman blinked, obviously amused by her rambling, but there was something more there too. Though he didn’t say anything, the little smile on his face said enough.

“I’m serious, though,” she mumbled. “You’re… different from what I thought you’d be.”

“Different how?”

“I dunno,” she shrugged, lazily tracing random shapes on the ceiling above her as she slouched in the seat. “I guess I thought you’d be more of an arsehole. Like my dad made you out to me. All tough, don’t-give-a-shit-about-anybody kind of deal.”

Snorting, he squeezed onto the steering wheel. “Yeah? That what you think of me, huh?”

“I did,” she clarified. “But you’re not. Not entirely. You… I don’t know. You’re nicer than you let on.”

His jaw worked as he considered her analysis; she didn’t notice the shift in his demeanour, too caught up in her own world to realise how close her words hit to home. But he sighed gently, speaking a little quieter.

“Yeah, well… I guess not everybody gets to see that side of me.”

Nate turned her head toward him, blinking slowly as her tipsy brain processed his words. Her voice softened as she tilted her head. “But I do?”

What was it about late nights that got them both so… vulnerable? You’d never see them this calm with one another in broad daylight, where they could each see every change and glimmer of expression. It was… safer to do it where neither one could read the other’s eyes.

“Yeah,” Roman muttered. “You do.”

For a majority of the drive, the teasing resumed. Nate couldn’t stop herself from flirting with him, throwing out random compliments that had Roman laughing and subconsciously storing in his memory bank for times in which he needed a pick-me-up. But every time she said something he particularly liked, he’d respond with that same smirk, the same heated look that told her he was enjoying this just as much as she was.

Yet, it seemed like the more they drove around, seemingly with no destination in mind—the more her mind sobered up—the more she wanted to keep going. Keep poking the bear, as they say. She wanted him to snap.

She needed the night she got at the safehouse, and then some.

Nate had never been one to shy away from risk, but the idea that sprung to mind was something entirely different. Sitting next to Roman, she felt the tension between them building, thickening the air inside the confines of the car like a heavy fog. Tonight was already weird enough, so why not push it a little further?

She unbuckled her seatbelt and shifted in the passenger seat, carefully getting on her knees. The car was still moving. The low growl of the engine hummed beneath her as she moved to hover over Roman, her hand bracing on the console between them. It was dangerous, and she knew it. But the thrill of it—the fact that they could crash if either of them lost focus—only made her want it more.

Her lips brushed his ear when she leaned in close, warm breath teasing him. “Do you trust me?” she whispered delicately in that sultry accent, thick with desire as her body pressed against the side of his arm as he drove.

Trust. A subject that had risen multiple times during their time working together, all of which ended in some kind of argument. So when Roman shot her a glance and let out a smug laugh, followed by a very adamant “Not at all, Princess,” it didn’t surprise her. In fact, it just encouraged her more.

Encouraged her to prove to him that he could, in fact, trust her.

Sliding even closer, her hand came up to steady herself on the headrest behind him. With an excited smirk, she whispered to him.

“Ya pochti kazhduyu noch’ dumal o tvoyem vkuse vo rtu.”

His reaction was immediate. Eyes darkened, lips curved wickedly, the heat rolling off in waves. He didn’t stop her, didn’t tell her to sit back down. Instead, his free hand—large, powerful, commanding—slipped casually around her waist, the move so natural it sent a pang of arousal straight between her legs. His fingers dipped lower, sliding over the curve of her backside, and then beneath her dress, his touch rough and unapologetic against her skin.

“You gotta stop with these games, Nate,” he chimed with little to no genuineness behind his words. It seemed like he was about to say something else, but Nate had shut him up pretty quickly by returning the favour, allowing her hand to explore the hard expanse of his wide chest and further down to his abdomen.

Her breath caught in her throat as Roman’s hand explored further, squeezing, teasing, igniting her skin with every movement. Her body instinctively pressed closer to him, her knees digging into the seat, knowing full well that they were one sharp turn away from disaster. But right now, she couldn’t care less.

Especially not when his legs shifted apart, making plenty of room for her hand to settle on growing bulge under his black sweatpants.

His hand shot back up to her waist, holding onto her tightly as she began to slowly, methodically massage him. Her breasts pushed against his arm as her lips brushed the side of his strong neck. “I think…” she whispered against his heated skin, “That you love it when I get in your head.”

Roman turned just slightly, lips ghosting over her jaw, dangerously close to her mouth. “What’d you say back there? In that pretty little language of yours?”

She gave him an abrupt squeeze, causing him to jolt a little in his seat. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she enjoyed every second of it.

The words were a challenge, a dare. And Nate was more than willing to play along. She dragged her lips back up to his ear, so close that she could feel his pulse quicken under her touch.

“I said… I’ve been thinking about how you’d taste in my mouth almost every night.”

She rested the side of her head on his shoulder, peering down at where her hand had worked him over his sweats to the point of no return. His powerful frame remained tense and full in the driver’s seat, muscles taut under the dark, fitted t-shirt that clung to his body. His tattoos peeked out from beneath his sleeve, the tribal ink crawling up his thick arm, accentuating every ounce of his dominance, his control over everything in his world.

“How am I supposed to keep driving with you touchin’ me like that, huh? After tellin’ me somethin’ like that?”

A giggle left her mouth, followed by an amused hum as she tilted her head back to look up at his face. “Then I suggest finding somewhere to pull over so I can get that cock in my mouth…”

That was it. He snapped. His nose twitched, a grunt leaving his lips as he practically slammed his foot down on the gas, eagerly thinking of all the places he knew they could park up at. If she wanted to play this, then he’d happily go along with it.

She smirked to herself, feeling that familiar rush of adrenaline coursing through her veins. It was reckless. It was dangerous. But that was exactly what made it so intoxicating.

Shifting a little to the side, Nate braced one hand on the console as she slipped the other beneath his waistband, her fingers grazing over the solid length hiding beneath his sweats, swollen and aching against the fabric. Roman swallowed thickly, releasing a shaky breath.

“Wha–”

“Shh,” she gently hushed him, dragging her lips along his beard. “Just keep driving, moy vozhd’ plemeni…”

A low groan rumbled deep in his chest as she freed him from the confines of his pants, her delicate fingers wrapping around the thick base. Back at the safehouse, she didn’t get a chance to actually look at him. She sure felt him—the sheer stinging sensation as he sank deep inside of her—but now she was seeing, witnessing his size… God, it was intimidating. Even in the limited light in the car.

“Fucking hell, Reigns, how do you cope with this in your pants all day?” she asked with an air of exasperation, as though she had already gone three rounds with him. He didn’t answer, just let out a breathy laugh, trying earnestly to focus on the road.

Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, Nate shuffled back a little so she could lean over his lap, collecting enough saliva in her mouth to let it fall right onto the bulbous tip of his cock. He hissed under his breath, hips jolting at the sensation.

“You’re gonna make me crash this damn car,” he muttered through gritted teeth. But he didn’t stop her. If anything, he shifted in his seat, giving her more room to work, his body leaning into her touch as if he couldn’t help himself.

“Then maybe you should pull over…” she teased, licking her lips before she reached up to press a small but heated kiss against the inked skin of his bicep.

But Roman was stubborn. He wasn’t going to pull over. Not yet.

“You think I’m gon’ make it that easy for you, Princess?” His voice was thickly laced with arousal and growing primal urge. “Nah… you want that shit so bad, you’ll have to work for it.”

Challenge accepted.

“Da,” she purred up at him, smiling innocently at his warning glare for once again speaking Russian when he couldn’t completely devour her whole. But she wasted no time, lowering her mouth over his tip, allowing her tongue to swirl in slow, strategic circles around the hot, salty skin. As soon as she closed her lips around him, his body jerked, hips lifting slightly off the seat as he let out another sharp hiss.

“Fuck…” His hand shot to the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair as she began her descent, taking in his length as much as she could. Inch by inch. The slow bobbing of her head, the pressure along the underside of his cock from her tongue, tasting him with a hunger that could only be matched by his own, had him breathing raggedly.

The car even swerved slightly, and for a moment, she thought he might actually lose control. But Roman was nothing if not determined—he managed to keep the car steady, though his breathing had become uneven, every exhale shaky and strained as she pulled back and lewdly spit on his tip.

“Goddamn it,” he grunted, unable to stop his hips from careening upwards, causing his cock to slide even further into her mouth, her throat tightening around him at the intrusion. “Shit, that mouth ain’t so bad anymore, baby girl…”

Nate hummed around him, feeling the wetness grow between her legs at his praise. The vibrations pulled another ragged moan from his lips as she continued to enjoy the taste of him. His body was coiling, tension building in every muscle, every fibre of his being as he fought to maintain control. His fingers tightened in her hair, guiding her, encouraging her to take him deeper, faster, until the car was filled with nothing but the explicit sound of her mouth sloppily working him over and his laboured gasps.

“Damn, why ain’t I used your mouth before?” he rasped. “Gon’ make me cum before we even get there.”

His praises only spurred her on. Hollowing her cheeks, she took him as deep as she could, throat convulsing as she gagged, choked. Her hand joined the effort, making up for the expanse she couldn’t fit into her mouth. Roman’s free hand slammed against the steering wheel, knuckles white as he tried desperately to stay focused, to keep from veering off the road entirely.

“You better cut that out unless you want me to nut all on that pretty face,” he growled, glancing down at the sight of her head nestled just under the steering wheel, her knees still planted on the leather of the passenger’s seat. Body curved and arched over the centre console. He could only imagine how soaked she was right now.

With a wicked glint in her eye, she hummed again and slowly pulled her head back up, releasing him with a pop. She watched as her own hand steadily gave him a few more pumps, admiring the glistening in the dim light, the spit and translucent pearls that had gathered on her hand and along his skin.

Licking her lips, she propped herself up on both hands, stretching out her back in the process and looking up at the Samoan god in front of her. She couldn’t quite place the emotion on his face. She didn’t know if he was angry at her for blowing him whilst driving. But his next words told her that wasn’t the case.

“You… are fuckin’ insane,” he muttered hoarsley. “You just wait til I find somewhere to pull over…”

Nate smirked, chuckling almost smugly as she pulled back enough to look at the road ahead of them. They’d ventured out into a more secluded part of the city, where buildings were few and far in between. And finally, with the mounting tension simmering around and between them, he slowed the car, pulling off onto a secluded dirt road.

It seemed like it was instantly after turning off the engine that he rapidly unbuckled his seatbelt, turned to face her and reached for the back of her neck to smash their lips together in a clumsy, needy kiss.

She was barely prepared for it, the lack of breath saved up heightening her senses as he rolled his tongue into her mouth, bit at her lips like he did the last time. It was like he was trying to crawl inside her via her mouth, large and strong hand pulling her forcefully against him as he grunted into her mouth. And when he finally broke the kiss, yanking at her bottom lip in the process, his eyes darkened fully. His fist tightened around the hair at the back of her neck.

“Get the fuck in the back so I can eat that pussy, Princess.”

Her heart rate raced as Roman growled out the command, his words dipping with a hunger that matched the fire burning low in her belly. The rough pull of her hair, the deep, guttural tone in his voice—it was everything she wanted and more. Her mouth was still wet, lips swollen from working his cock, her body vibrating with foretaste.

She shuffled back, fumbling with the door handle as Roman watched her, his eyes locked onto her with a heated, possessive glare. The moment she managed to climb out, he followed swiftly, already yanking at his sweats to pull them up just enough to walk as he stalked around the car. Nate scrambled into the backseat, practically hearing her own pulse as she leaned back against the seat, chest rising and falling in shallow breaths.

Roman was there within seconds, slamming the door behind him, the car shaking under his weight. A predatory gaze as he crawled into the space between her legs, guiding her back without much warning. His large frame took up the entire backseat, and he resorted to resting a knee on the floor of the car just to accommodate himself. She felt so small and vulnerable under his shadow, and yet a thrill coursed through her veins akin to the type that shocked her at Bunny’s compound.

One hand slid down to her bare leg, lifting it up so he could feel the smooth skin of her thigh, closer to the only thing in the way of his magical fingers.

“Take ‘em off,” he uttered, staring down at her with hooded eyes and an unmistakable nod to her panties with a sharp, delicate flick of his chin.

Normally, the speed in which she obliged to his command would embarrass her—disappoint her. But it didn’t. She didn’t even hesitate, fingers quickly finding the flimsy material under her dress, shimmying them down as far as they could go in the position they were in, before he finished the task, tossing them into the front seat.

All the commotion had already caused her dress to ride up, allowing for her glistening core to be ogled at from the man above her. Especially as he placed his hands on the backs of her thighs, pushing them apart to expose her even more. He didn’t even need to look for very long to see just how wet she was.

“Fuck, baby… all this for me?” he exhaled, his voice chillingly soft as his fingers dug into the plushness of her thighs. “This soaked for a man you hate so much, huh?”

Oh, but I don’t hate you, Roman…

Nate couldn’t say anything. Just shift her hips, grinding against thin air. He leaned down, bringing her legs with him so she had to deal with the little friction from his sweatpants.

“Needy ‘lil princess,” he hummed, glancing down at her lips. He’d be stupid to deny it; her beauty, that is. All dressed up for the night, her makeup a little worn by now, but still present nonetheless. And he had to admit it to himself, regardless of it being internal…

Nate Volkov was one of the most beautiful women he’d ever laid eyes on. And he’d laid eyes—and other things—on a lot of women in his time.

“You gon’ be a good girl and let Daddy do what he needs to do?”

Fuck…

He could have sworn he heard her whimper. He fucking knew it… he knew she’d responded to the pet name last time. Let’s see how far I can push this…

“C’mon, speak to me, Princess…” he whispered, his lips barely touching just below her lips. “You bein’ here, you already disobeyed one daddy, hm?”

Her eyebrows furrowed, unsure what he was getting at exactly through the potent arousal that continued to form between her legs. She was literally throbbing, clenching—she needed it so fucking bad…

His head dipped lower, edging his nose down her chest and down to the space just above the neckline of her dress. “Don’t disobey this one, baby girl. You want Daddy to eat this pussy real good, you’re gonna have to be good.” He lifted his head, looking straight at her. “You gonna be good?”

Nate let out a shaky breath, hand gripping onto the fabric of his shirt as she nodded earnestly. “Y-yes…”

He smirked, giving her legs another squeeze. “Ain’t the answer I’m lookin’ for, Princess.”

The thing was: she knew exactly what he wanted her to say, what he wanted her to call him. But her own stubborn streak, her own unwillingness to obey at the drop of a hat, despite the reward for complying, being a potentially mind-blowing orgasm, was too dominant.

That didn’t mean she didn’t want to, though. God only knew how she’d searched for years for something to fulfil the gaping hole made from a lack of… well, any kind of nurturing. And Roman had been good to her, really… Right?

Working with him, being around him and his family—the enemy—was, ironically, the only time she felt anything close to… acceptance.

And even if it would come to her own demise, even if there was a sliver of a chance that her next words would come and bite her in the ass… She. Didn’t. Care. She needed this.

“I’ll be good,” she managed to say, still grabbing onto his bicep even though he had already made a slow descent down her body, both knees on the floor now. “...Daddy.”

Her breath hitched at the tail end of the sordid word as Roman’s lips met the inside of her thigh, kissing, licking, biting his way toward her pussy with an agonisingly slow pace. “That’s right,” he mumbled. Nate’s back arched off the seat, her hips bucking slightly, silently begging for him to stop teasing her. But Roman was in control now, and he wasn’t about to let her rush him.

“Perestan’ menya draznit’... ty nuzhen etoy kiske, detka…” she whimpered as he blew little puffs of hot air right against her dripping folds, teasing her to the max.

Roman grinned, his lips brushing against her, barely pressing down on her throbbing clit. “I don’t give a damn what you’re saying in that Russian, baby,” he muttered as he kissed over her heat. “But I know you beggin’ for me.”

Her body jerked at the contact, and he saw her hand fly up to cover her mouth, trying to suppress the needy sounds bubbling up in the throat. But Roman wasn’t having it. “Don’t you fuckin’ hide those sounds from me,” he ordered, followed by a sharp nip to her thigh with his teeth.

Nate’s teeth clamped down on her lower lip, her breaths coming out in shallow pants. “Please,” she whispered, hating how broken and desperate she sounded. “Roman, please.”

“Please, what—”

“Please, Daddy!” she huffed, still with an air of defiance, but peered down at him with a softer expression. “I need you.”

Without another word, he finally dipped his head, his thick tongue slipping out to drag a slow, deliberate line up her slit. Nate’s entire body jumped at the contact, her hand shooting down to grip his hair, pulling at it despite its place in a bun. A moan tore from her throat, no longer able to contain it.

His tongue worked like a seasoned veteran, tasting her, teasing her, fingers digging deeper into her thighs to keep her from wriggling around too much. He wanted to take his time, to savour the way her body reacted to him, but the little sounds she made, the breathless moans and whimpers, were making it harder to keep his control.

“Fuck,” he grunted between licks, his voice vibrating against her swollen bud. “Pussy tastes so good… so fuckin’ sweet.” He wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking the hot flesh into his mouth to drag sloppy circles around it. Nate gasped, a choked groan leaving her throat as her back arched once again.

Roman didn’t stop. His tongue flicked over her sensitive pearl, focusing the tip of his tongue on the part of her that made her writhe and pant the most. He wrapped his thick arms around her legs, hands coming round her hips to spread her open even more for him. His body moved closer to her, practically pulling her lower half off the seat entirely as he divulged.

Nate barely registered just how painfully she folded in half by the sheer force of Roman’s form. She just revelled in the overwhelming sensation of his mouth slobbering all over her cunt, bringing her to unreal levels of ecstasy in the process. But it was the much-missed sensation of two of his fingers pushing their way inside her, broadly curling just deep enough to find that spot, that had her crying out even louder.

“There it is,” he muttered, more to himself than to her, as he felt her walls fluttering around his fingers. “Wanna make sure this pussy cums nice n’ hard for me, Princess. Right on my fuckin’ tongue.”

His mumbles were fuel to the fire. Mind spinning, torn between the intoxicating sensations bestowed upon her by this Samoan god, and the mess tangled within her brain. Thinking about how badly Boris Sokolov had wanted to be in this position for years, but here she was… doing that exact thing… with Roman Reigns. The enemy, the man she had known for barely three months—and how he had utterly consumed her every thought, every inch of her body.

Her head fell back against the seat, Roman’s fingers fucking her slowly, purposefully, in tandem with the sinful rhythm of his tongue. Her thighs quivered under his grip, his broad shoulders keeping her splayed open, making sure she had nowhere to go.

“You ever let him get this close, principessa?” he rumbled against her. “You ever let him taste this sweet ass pussy?”

Nate shuddered. The sheer taboo of it made her brain short-circuit. The fact he seemed to have known what she was thinking… It was control, dominance, a pure primal claim. She couldn’t hold back the moans, whole body vibrating as he dragged his fingers in and out of her.

“Answer me.” His command was sharp, fingers curling into her spot harder.

“N-no…” she choked out. “He’s never had me—oh, fuck, right there,” she cut herself out with a strained groan, her fingers tightening on his hair, inevitably pulling out strands from the bun.

Roman chuckled darkly, the vibration of his laugh pressing into her clit as he sucked hard on the sensitive pearl. “Good,” he muttered, pulling his mouth off her just long enough to smirk up at her, eyes gleaming with sheer satisfaction. “This pussy still mine.”

“Shit…” she whined as he resumed his work, salivating and slobbering all over her pussy, the sound of it lewd but a contributor to the orgasm welling up inside her. Throbbing against his tongue. Juices continuing to flow, making a mess of his perfectly groomed beard, and whatever else had the misfortune of being within immediate range. She could even see the movement on his cheeks as he ate her out like a starved animal.

Digging her high heel into the centre of his back, he careened forward ever so slightly, growling against her. The action was entirely unintentional, but the payoff was divine. She couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t hold on for much longer.

“Prodolzhay, ya konchu, chert voz’mi, Roman…” she panted, clenching her fist into his hair as she started to buck her hips up against him.

“God, you sound so fuckin’ good like that,” he breathed out, before pulling his head back, removing his fingers only to have them come up to rub erratically at her clit. He peered up at her, smirking at her dazed state, how she whimpered a little at the lost contact. “You gonna cum for me, Princess?”

“Fuck! Yes,” she answered through a strained whine.

Roman didn’t answer, just shot back down to finish what he started. And before she could blink, her orgasm hit her with violent force, a broken moan of pure ecstacy exorcised from her chest—thighs attempting to clamp down around his head, but firmly kept apart by this man’s ridiculously strong hands. Her whole body seized, her hips jerking off the seat as he growled low in his chest, continuing to lap at her relentlessly. Prolonging every shudder that wracked through her.

When she finally collapsed back against the leather seat, panting and gasping for air, Roman didn’t let up, moving to shift over her, lowering his face just inches from hers as he leaned into her. She could taste herself on his lips when he kissed her roughly, one hand grabbing the back of her neck while the other fumbled with the hair tie that did little for the mess she’d made. He yanked it out, snapping it around his wrist.

Nate kept up with him, her hands feeling around his waist, tucking her fingers under his shirt to feel the hard, defined muscle of his back, his abs, anything she could get her hands on. She could feel the outline of his hard cock firmly pushing up against her, and the thought of him inside her again made her throb with desire.

She’d even forgotten, in the midst of her erotic haze, that they were in a car that provided limited space to move around. The fumbling of his sweatpants, and his attempt of positioning himself became too frustrating, and eventually, he adjusted his position, pulling her with him as he settled behind the driver’s seat. Fingers, digging into her skin, he held onto her waist possessively as he locked eyes with her. “Turn around, Princess,” he rasped.

Nate blinked up at him. “What?”

“You heard me,” Roman growled, giving her backside a firm tap. “Turn the fuck around. I want you to ride me… But I wanna watch that ass of yours while you do.”

Her heart stumbled in her chest. The raw yearning in his voice made her pussy convulse and shudder along with her whole body. Swallowing hard, she shifted on the seat, her legs shaky as she turned to press her knees into the leather seat, facing away from him. Her hands braced herself on the headrest in front of her.

Roman leaned back, sliding down into the seat as far as he could go, his thick thighs spreading wide to accommodate her. Large hands gripped at her hips tightly, thumbs digging into the fleshy curves and pulling her closer to him as his mouth hovered hear her ear, his breath hot and heavy against her skin. Almost as hot and heavy as the tip of his cock gliding across her slick folds.

“You feelin’ this, baby girl?” he whispered. “Feel how fuckin’ hard you make me? How bad I need to be in you every fuckin’ time I see you?”

Nate’s head fell back slightly, a soft moan falling from her parted lips as she reached down, guiding the thick head of his cock to her slick entrance. He had to have been the biggest she’d ever had… And even though she’d had him before, it was insignificant in preparing her for another ride—so to speak.

Roman groaned low in his chest as she lined him up, holding onto her tightly. “That’s it,” he muttered. “Nice n’ slow, baby. Take me all the way in.”

Biting down on her lip, she lowered herself onto him, her body stretching around his girth inch by inch. The pressure, the fullness, it was all so overwhelming, and she couldn’t stop the breathy whine from leaving her mouth as she sank down onto him completely.

“O bozhe…” she gasped, gripping the back of the driver’s seat for support. “Roman…”

“Fuck,” Roman grunted, his hands roaming from her waist to her backside, squeezing the soft flesh as he helped guide her movements. “That’s right… every fuckin’ inch.”

Nate’s response was a choked moan as she tried to lift herself up, but Roman’s hands were still on her hips, pushing her down again, forcing her to take all of him. The angle was intense, his cock hitting deep inside her with every slight movement. Her breath came out in ragged gasps, her body trembling as she began to ride him, the tight space making it harder to control her movements, but he didn’t seem to mind. If anything, it fuelled his need.

“Fuck, yes…” he hissed, his head falling back against the seat, eyes rolling shut as her tight core enveloped him. “Goddamn… Fuckin’ perfect body…”

She could barely breathe. The sensation of him filling her completely made her dizzy. “Oh god, Roman—fuck,” she gasped, squeezing her eyes shut; this position definitely made his size all the more intense to take. Impossibly thick. Stretched to the limit. “Feels so fucking good…”

Hands back on her ass, he rocked her gently, urging her to pick up the pace of her movements. “Yeah? You like how that feels, Princess?” His voice was low, strained. “Like the way I fill up this pussy, huh?”

“Yes,” she breathed out with an earnest nod, rolling her hips over his, feeling every inch of him drag against her sensitive walls. It was too much, and yet somehow not enough.

Once she had settled into a rhythm, one that had her enveloping him completely, hitting her spot each time he sank back inside, Roman couldn’t help himself. She just looked so good like this, and her ass… Fuck, she was so fucking hot.

“Look at you, baby girl,” he grunted behind her. “Ridin’ me like that… like you fuckin’ own me.” His hands guided her, pushing her up and down on his cock. “You been wantin’ this again, huh? Been thinkin’ ‘bout me since the safehouse?”

All she could do was nod, unable to speak as she rode him quicker, greedily taking him at her leisure.

Big mistake.

Without another word, Roman’s hand came up to the back of her head, twisting his fist into her hair to yank her backwards until her back made contact with his body. Forced to let go of the driver’s seat headrest, she was lost as to what to do with her hands; she grabbed at anything, the uselessly small ledge on the window, the seat they were on. But she eventually found his hand, the one that wasn’t painfully grasping at her hair, and held onto that instead.

“I asked you a question,” he hissed into the skin of her neck as he inhaled her scent. “You been wantin’ this dick again, ain’t you, baby girl? Wanted me to pound this tight lil’ pussy…” The more he spoke, the more he took control of their speed, starting to throw his hips up from beneath, fucking her silly. “Say it, Nate.”

Her pants got quicker, and the pitch of her moans heightened. She could feel tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “Yes!” she choked out, eyes rolling to the back of her head as the tip of his dick hit a particularly sensitive spot deep inside her soul. “Holy shit… Roman—right there, right there…shit, fuck!” she groaned, lifting her hand to grab onto his shoulder behind her. It was awkward, trying to hold onto him how she wanted.

“Mmm,” Roman rumbled, letting go of her hair and bringing both his hands around to the front of her, trailing them up until he reached her breasts. He disregarded the value of the dress she wore and practically ripped the fabric down so the warm skin made contact with the rough palms of his hands, exposing her. “Fuckin’ perfect,” he moaned, his lips hovering over her shoulder. “This pussy was made for me…”

The car creaked beneath them as her ass bounced on his lap, as their skin collided, obscene sounds coming from her pussy taking him over and over.

“Turn around, Princess,” he rasped, giving her chest a final squeeze. “Lemme see you.”

With a whimper, she weakly slid off of him, his dick sliding out of her and leaving her empty for only a moment before he pulled her back on top of him, this time facing each other so they could see the absolute state they put the other in.

“Keep ridin’ me, baby, fuck yourself on this dick,” he encouraged, wrapping his muscular arms around her body, assisting her in her movements. He met her downward grinds with a sharp upward thrust, taking a moment to appreciate the body of this woman. He needily captured one of her stiff nipples into his mouth, holding her against him as he proceeded to swirl his tongue around the erect nub, dragging his teeth over the sensitive skin. He swore he felt her pussy jolt at the action.

“God,” Nate gasped, her breath hitching as his dick slammed into her repeatedly. “So fucking good.”

“Yeah?” he chuckled darkly, peering up at her. “That feel good?”

“Yeah…” Her hands moved from his shoulders up to his hair, pushing it completely from his face so she could feast her eyes on his intimidating features, the arch in his brows as he leered up at her like she was the most despicable human he’d ever seen. Yet, all the while, he’s balls deep in her, fucking her from underneath like he’d never get to have sex ever again.

“Mne nravitsya chuvstvovat’, budto ty razryvayesh’ menya popolam… moy vozd’ pelemeni,” she purred down at him, purposefully tightening herself around him as she did.

“You keep talkin’ to me like that, I’m gon’ nut in this pretty pussy,” he growled at her, lowering his hands to grab onto her ass, spreading her out and picking up the pace with his own hips. She cried out, clenching her fists into his hair. “That what you want, Princess? You want Daddy to nut all in that pussy? Get her nice and full for Boris stupid ass, huh?”

Now, that shouldn’t have brought her closer to the edge. But, God, did it…

“Yes, Daddy,” she panted, “Please… Please, please… Please, moy vozhd’ plemeni…”

Considering that Roman practically had his brain inside her, it was quite the impressive feat that he picked up on one of her Russian phrases. A phrase she had used three times tonight…

“What’s that mean?” he asked her, starting to pant himself.

“What?”

“That… what you just said.”

Nate smirked a little, humming as she laughed breathily. “Moy vozhd’ plemeni?”

“Shit… yeah, that…”

“It mea—oh, fuck, fuck…” she gasped, her entire body twitching and tensing up as her orgasm hit her so suddenly, so intensely that she had to push her forehead up against his in a feeble attempt to steady herself. “I’m cumming, fuck, I’m cumming…”

“Damn, baby, no warnin’ or nothin’?” he leaned his head back, lids hooded as he watched her writhe on top of him, feeling her pussy throb and convulse around him, soaking him in her sweet release. God, he wanted to taste her again already… “So fuckin’ pretty cummin’ on this dick. Ride it out, Princess…”

She really did. She rode it out, using every ridge and curve of his cock to draw the final drops of her climax from within. But now… all she wanted to do was make this gorgeous creation beneath her come undone and fill her up.

“Hmm…” she hummed, ignoring the sensitivity as she continued to roll her hips. “Your turn now, Daddy…”

Roman groaned, practically turning inside out as he heard that name on the tip of her precious tongue, in that precious accent. That reminds him…

“Tell me,” he breathed.

“Tell you what?” She dug her nails into his shoulders, tilting her head to the side.

“Tell me what it means.”

“Moy vozhd’ plemeni?”

“Fuck, yeah, tell me, Nate…”

With a sneaky little smile, she lowered her face down to his, bringing a hand up to place it on the side of his face, locking her eyes with his. “It means…” She glanced down at his lips, barely brushing hers against them, just before whispering very gently:

“My Tribal Chief.”

Her words hit him like a bolt of lightning. Roman groaned, his grip on her bruising as his thrusts became dangerously erratic. “Fuck,” he snarled. “You gon’ make me cum, baby girl… You ready for it?”

“Yes,” Nate whimpered, feeling him pulsing inside her. “Cum inside me, Daddy. Fill me up… please.”

He let out a guttural moan as he came hard, trembling as he emptied himself. Nate’s breath hitched as she felt the hot rush of his release, helping him ride it out whilst she rode out the tail end of her own, nails digging into his skin. Breath a mixture of gasps and moans.

For a long moment, they stayed like that, her forehead resting against his, both of them panting, chests heaving, trying to catch their breaths. The air in the car was thick, the windows fogged from their insatiability. Neither of them spoke, too consumed by the moment to ruin it with words.

But the silence didn’t last long.

Nate’s phone, tossed somewhere in the front seat, began to ring obnoxiously, breaking the bubble they had created. She groaned, reluctantly sliding off Roman’s lap, her body immediately feeling the loss of him. She pulled her dress back into place, wincing at the soreness between her legs, before crawling over the centre console to reach for her phone.

Roman’s hand came down hard on her ass, a loud smack echoing in the enclosed space. “You really gonna just leave Daddy like that, huh?” he teased, his voice deep and satisfied.

She smirked, but didn’t respond. She grabbed her phone, pulling it up to see who was calling—and then her heart stopped.

Ten missed calls. All from Becky Lynch.

Her blood ran cold. Her earlier calm, her sense of control—all of it vanished. “Fuck,” she muttered under hear breath.

Roman leaned back, watching her with a smug grin until he saw her expression shift. “What’s wrong?” he asked, still lazy with post-orgasmic bliss.

Nate whipped her head around, glaring at him. “Why didn’t you tell me my phone was ringing, you twat?”

He raised an eyebrow, completely unphased by her sudden shift in mood. “Didn’t hear it. You were a little busy ridin’ my dick, remember?”

“Are you fucking serious? It’s Becky!” she snapped, panic rising in her chest. “I’ve been waiting for this phone call for a fucking week, Roman, she’s the only one who can help us right now! Chert voz’mi…”

Nate muttered a few more curses under her breath, finally finding her panties tangled up on the edge of the driver's seat in her comedown back to reality. She brushed past Roman as she crawled over into the front passenger seat, not even bothering to get out and walk round; it felt like the whole world knew she’d fucked up. Even something as minor as missing calls. It didn’t matter how small or meaningless something seemed—if Nate felt like she’d fucked up… then, by God, she fucked up.

Roman gave her a raised eyebrow, as though he wanted to say something, but she shot him a look that made it perfectly clear she was all business now.

“I’m calling her back,” she said firmly, pressing Becky’s number. Roman seemed like he was about to protest, but her warning glare, and his own common sense in knowing this really was important, kept it at bay. She hit the speakerphone button, ignoring his expectant look as the line rang.

All the while, Roman took the mature approach by leaving the car to walk around to the front seat. She caught a glimpse of him adjusting himself as he did, through the thin fog that settled over the driver’s window, before he smoothly slid back in. He proceeded to push his hair back up and tie it in a lazy little bun that still allowed half of his hair to hang down in what can only be described as a mini ponytail.

“Nate!”

The Irish twang caught Nate’s attention, and she swiftly turned her head away from Roman and back to her phone.

“Finally, ye answer. Thought I was wastin’ my time here, callin’ nonstop.”

“Sorry, I was….” she croaked, taking a moment to clear her throat. “I was with someone helping me on this.” She darted a quick glance at Roman, who watched her with mild amusement. Smug prat.

“Right…” Becky said with a note of curiosity. “Listen. I talked to my contact. He’s willing to share what he has. Says he’s got some files, things he’s kept to himself for almost a decade now.”

Nate felt a flicker of hope, despite the awkward start. “And… you believe this person to be reliable, yeah?”

“He might have the information you need,” the redhead replied somewhat hesitantly. “He just… doesn’t want anyone to know it’s come from him. So… for now, ye not going to find out who this person is, ‘kay?”

She furrowed her brow, once again glancing at Roman, who shared her perplexion. “I’m supposed to trust this guy, but I can’t know who he is? Is this a joke, Rebecca?” She could almost feel the cringe from the other end of the line at the use of Becky’s full name.

“I’m sayin’ ye can trust him, so ye can trust him, Natalka,” Becky bit back. “I know for a fact he has things nobody else does, and it sounds like ye need serious help.”

Huffing and sitting back, Nate thought for a moment, running her tongue over her teeth. She wasn’t even sure why she was so concerned about the identity of this contact. She already snuck out of her own home to meet Roman Reigns, and then proceed to fuck him a second time after she specifically promised herself she wouldn’t do that, so why the fuck should she care about where information comes from anymore?

Well, the answer is simple. Becky Lynch. The Irish. Even though she wasn’t even connected to her family’s dealings anymore, information Nate had only just learned a week prior, it was still a sore subject. Too many betrayals. Too many friends lost. Too many… too much… death.

“Becky,” Nate sighed, “Please just tell me who the guy is, I don’t know what you think I’m gonna do with his name.”

A pause lingered on the line, along with some rustling, before she heard a long exhale from Becky. “My husband. It’s my husband, Nate.”

“And his name would be….?” Nate trailed off.

“Seth. Seth Rollins.”

The name meant absolutely nothing to Nate, but she noticed Roman’s reaction out of the corner of her eye—like he’d just seen a fucking ghost outside the car.

She tried to focus on Becky’s reassurances that it would be fine, even as the energy in the car shifted dramatically. Roman’s expression had darkened into something bordering on feral, his jaw clenched so tightly that the muscles twitched in time with the pulse beating in his temple. His hands rested on the wheel, but his gaze was distant, staring ahead like he was seeing far beyond the windshield. His eyes were sharp, glacial, the look of a man consumed by something deeper and more dangerous than mere anger—a buried intensity that might shatter given the slightest push.

“So,” Becky’s voice crackled through the speaker, “if I told you who I’ve got over here, I think it’s only fair you tell me who’s on your side.”

Glancing at Roman, Nate knew shit could go south fast if she said the wrong thing. But he was somewhere else entirely, locked in a place she couldn’t reach or… predict. With her only option being to think on her feet, Nate cleared her throat, injecting a hint of authority into her voice. “Becks, I can promise you this person’s very resourceful. He’s already done enough for me to know he’s being honest,” she took a quick look down at her leg, right at the area on her thigh that now bore a scar from a bullet and had once been tended to by the man in question. “No reason to worry.”

Becky paused, then pressed, only slightly more serious. “Nate… do you trust this person?”

Nate looked at Roman again, lingering this time. The question felt a little heavier than she wanted it to, but she had no choice but to answer honestly. Why wouldn’t she?

“I think I do.”

For a beat, the answer suspended in the space between them. It came out a lot softer than usual, almost vulnerable—a state she rarely allowed herself to fully fall into, not even when by herself. Certainly never around Roman. Good job he was still in his own world, distantly staring daggers into nothing ahead of him, but she did feel the shift in atmosphere. The way it seemed to… bend around the truth she had just spoken.

Just like that, Nate’s usual edge returned as she added dryly, “Besides… he doesn’t have much of a choice. He’ll go along with things whether he likes it or not.”

“Fine,” Becky replied, satisfied for the moment. “Then we’ll meet—all four of us, some place quiet. Can’t be havin’ too many eyes on us.”

“Trust me, I’m more than happy with that,” Nate laughed ruefully, once again reminded of the repercussions of being caught mingling with The Bloodline.

“Good. Seth will run through what he thinks is important, it might be relevant, it might not, but it sounds like it’s worth a shot… So, I’ll set it up, yeah?”

“Yeah, we’ll be there,” Nate nodded, and with a quick goodbye, she ended the call, her attention snapping back to Roman. His silence now seemed like an echo.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Alright, what the fuck’s wrong with you now?”

He didn’t answer. His jaw clenched tighter, and he gave her a sharp side glance, before starting the engine. “You wanna go back to that mansion of yours, or you wantin’ me to take you to Tribeca?”

Nate crossed her arms with a shrug. “Just take me home. Can’t be gone lo—”

“Wasn’t askin’ for your life story,” he cut her off.

She glared at him, unimpressed. “Right, didn’t expect you to care to listen to me anyway. Chertov pridurok…”

As they drove, her eyes tracked the streets and landmarks, noting that he wasn’t heading toward the usual route back to her home. The building started blurring into unfamiliar territory.

“Uh, are you lost, or just getting creative?” she muttered, half-joking, half-over this night.

“We’re takin’ the long way,” he curtly responded without paying her the respect of a glance.

She rolled her eyes, but her curiosity got the best of her. Before she could ask why, Roman’s voice came, low and gravelly, cutting through the silence like a knife, just as harshly as it did through the scowl on his face.

“Think it’s time I tell you a lil' somethin’ ‘bout Seth fuckin’ Rollins.”

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captainmvf · 7 months ago

Text

Assorted scenarios and incorrect-quotes-ish of my casted Miitopia squads and characters I originally posted to Discord over the years. Collected under the cut.

Some of this stuff is either shippy or were made during certain events. The earliest dates back to 2019.

Thief Moroko: (honks car horn) "Get in! Losers!" Scientist Maxie: "You do have a license, right?" Thief Moroko: "Haha! License?" Thief Moroko: (crashes the car)

Warrior MVF: "I like violence." Scientist Maxie: (sitting in the shade, drinking a smoothie) "What if I do something?"

Flower Magnitude: (smiling widely) Flower Magnitude: "I'm always angry!"

Cat Suiuus: "Vibe check!" Cat Suiuus: (holds rock over Magnitude's head)

Warrior Megatron: "Aren't we best friends?" Cleric Optimus: (holding Valentina's hand) "No." Chef Valentina: "Get lost."

Flower Magnitude: "None of you should ever be parents." Warrior MVF: "Agreed." Cat Suiuus: "I have three kids." Everyone:

Cleric Issac: "So… I might have lost the cars…" Thief Moroko: "YOU DID WHAT?!?!?"

Warrior MVF: "Hmm…" Great Sage Mike: "What's up?" Warrior MVF: "If you turn your staff upside down it will probably become a pogo stick or you could ride on it." Great Sage Mike: "…you've just blown my mind."

Flower Magnitude: (shows a picture of Suiuus) "Have you seen this idiot? They knocked down one of the inn walls last night and then slept for nineteen hours."

Great Sage Mike: "Don't tell Val I did something bad." Dark Curse Jack: "Okay." Dark Curse Jack: (tugs on Valentina's uniform) "Mike did something illegal."

Mage Gotham Vermillion: "Normalize going to Burger King at 3 am." Mage Gotham Vermillion: "Normalize falling asleep inside the Burger King." Mage Gotham Vermillion: "NORMALIZE filling up your empty milk jugs with drinks from the sofa fountain." Mage Gotham Vermillion: "NORMALIZE FIGHTING THE MANAGER." Mage Gotham Vermillion: "NORMALIZE." Mage Gotham Vermillion: "FINDING." Mage Gotham Vermillion: "AND KILLING." Mage Gotham Vermillion: "THE BURGER KING." Flower Magnitude: "Bad day?" Mage Gotham Vermillion: "GREAT DAY."

Flower Magnitude: "Dude… did you fucking kill someone?" Mage Gotham Vermillion: "Oh HO ho ho!" Mage Gotham Vermillion: (leaves) Flower Magnitude:

Mage GV: "I don't kill people." Mage GV: (proceeds to traumatize millions with her unnecessary mysteries)

Thief Moroko at the begining of the quest: "Yeah I'm a bad bith you can't kill me." Thief Moroko at the end of the quest: "You guys are actually pretty neat and I'm going to miss you all."

Tank Aries: "What would you have done all day if you lived in a perfect world?" Thief Moroko: "I dunno, maybe stayed inside and played with a light brite."

Thief Moroko: "Woah, we need to spruce up St. M's resolution board." (pops open a marker) Princess Blades: "Oh yeah, kill count shouldn't be on there." (also opens a marker) Thief Moroko: "'Be a good dog lover' is excellent." Princess Blades: "She already has dogs. What about 'dress cuter'?" Thief St. M: "What are you two doing?" Thief Moroko + Princess Blades: (screams)

Great Sage Mike: "I call this one, 'Kiss the Lip'." Great Sage Mike: (tries to do a skateboard trick but trips over onto his face)

Thief Moroko: (takes skateboard) "I'll show you how it's done!" Thief Moroko: "I skate fast and I eat a-" (tries but also lands flat on his face)

Thief Moroko: "This shit sucks. I just want to go home and pet my dog."

Thief Blades + Thief Red: (making arts and crafts) Thief Moroko: "Let's do crimes."

Scientist Maxie: "I have my life together." Chef Valentina: "You tried to summon a giant lizard to expand land mass."

Pop Star MM: (starts speaking French) Thief St. M: (speaks French back) Everyone: Princess Blades: "This whole time… MM COULD SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?!"

Mage Yaiba: "When MVF said we should go camping I asked if there was a flat screen TV and Maxie assured me there was. When we got there and I didn't see one I asked Maxie where the TV was and he took me outside and pointed at the trees and said 'There it is! Nature's amazing entertainment!' and I am still so fucking mad bro." Scientist Maxie: Mage Yaiba: Scientist Maxie: "Are you still mad about the TV-" Mage Yaiba: "I'M NOT MAD AT THE TV."

Dark Lord Bender: "So, it has been brought to my attention that you refer to Creation as your archenemy." Warrior MVF: "Yes." Dark Lord Bender: "Well? What did she do? I stole your teammates, tried to kill your friends, actually stole your face and your teammates faces, and caused massive havoc throughout Miitopia. I also have tried to take your face this entire year now, but it’s this woman who deserves the title?" Warrior MVF: "You have no idea how annoying she is."

Thief Moroko: "Blinking contest?" Thief Red: "You're on!" Thief Moroko + Thief Red: (rapidly blinking at one another) Thief St. M: (sipping water in the background)

Cleric Issac: "This life is pain." Thief Red: "Have you ever flown on Air Canada?"

Thief Moroko: (inflates a balloon) Thief St. M: Thief Moroko: (places it over Blades) Princess Blades: (sleeping) Thief St. M: Thief Moroko: (takes a knife out and pops the balloon)

Cat Suiuus: "I'll show you a 'Vibe Check.'" Cat Suiuus: (picks up a watermelon and crushes it in their bare hands)

Thief Red: (crying) "DOLLY PARTON WAS THE BEST SINGER!" Thief Moroko: (yelling and holding a broom above his head) "YOU FOOL! IT'S HATSUNE MIKU!"

Vampire Candy: (playing Mario Kart) "Imagine your mom calling you a casual at video games." Thief Moroko: (also playing) "St. M does that all the time."

Cat Suiuus: "Boneless cereal." Cat Suiuus: (slurps milk)

Dark Curse Jack: "Dear Diary. I couldn't find my diary so I'm writing this on Mike's Kung Fu Panda 2 DVDs."

Vampire Candy: "Check out this frog." Elf Deathly: "I have eyes." Flower Magnitude: (in the background) "We're never going to beat the Oblivion Lord and her minions like this."

Flower Magnitude: "Name one of the largest dinosaurs." Warrior MVF: "Paleontologist." Flower Magnitude: "Well I can't argue with that."

Scientist Maxie: "This year couldn't get worse…" Thief Moroko: "This could be Homestuck."

Scientist Maxie: "When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying." Thief Moroko: "And?" Scientist Maxie: "You still are."

Thief Moroko: "Stop posting cringe, bro!" Darkest Lord Mike: (smashes a fist atop of him)

Scientist Maxie: "You are a horrid little man." Thief Moroko: "Aight." Pop Star MM: "Your food doesn't taste good…" Thief Moroko: (feels his heart shatter)

Dark Lord Bender: "Who sent this five-year-old to fight me?!" Warrior MVF: "I'm seventeen…"

Princess Blades: "Who's that guy in green over there?" Thief Moroko: "Oncler." Mage Yaiba: "Blocked."

Warrior MVF: "I'm ready to fight back! I'm ready to save this world! I'm going to-" (trips on a treebranch) Dark Lord Bender: (laughs hysterically in the distance)

Chef Valentina: "And he's an elf, and he's a vampire-" Princess Blades: "And he was a skater boy."

Princess Blades: "He was a skater boy." Thief Moroko: "She said see you later boy." Mage Yaiba: "He wasn't good enough for her." Warrior Bumblebee: "She had a pretty face." Tank Aries: "But her head was up in space." Thief Red: "She needed to come back down to Earth."

Warrior MVF: "All my friends are gone… Taken by the Dark Lord…" Horse: (neighs)

Thief St. M: (throws the horse at the dark lord) Warrior MVF: (screams in despair)

Warrior MVF: "My horsey horse,,,, my horsey frond,,, mihorseyhorrseandfriends,,,,,," Cleric Optimus + Chef Valentina + Mage Yaiba:

Thief Moroko: "Oh God… Give me one reason to go to work in my silly little outfit…" Divine Spirit: "Birds aren't cheap, my child."

Scientist Maxie: "I feel like I'm forgetting something." Thief St. M: "If you've forgotten then it wasn't important." Thief Moroko: (out in the rain) --- Scientist Maxie: "I remember now!" Scientist Maxie: "My water." (refills his glass) "Forgot to refill it." Chef Valentina: "Where's Moroko?" Scientist Maxie:

Traveler: "Here's a new quest." Warrior MVF: "Cool! What do you need us to do?" Traveler: "I need a bunch of twerkies slain and-" Thief Moroko: (grabs the quest paper and eats it) "No."

Scientist Maxie: (fighting a red dragon) "Come on! I need backup!" Princess Blades: (tapping his phone) "Just a sec! I'm feeding my Mii-opet!"

Thief Moroko: "Wanna try on a friendship bracelet?" Scientist Maxie: (sighs) "Fine…" Thief Moroko: (handcuffs him)

Warrior MVF: (crying in bed) "Dear God… Please give me one reason to get out of bed…" Guardian Spirit: "Horses are not cheap, my child."

Dark Curse Jack: (loudly hammering nails into the coffee table) Great Sage Mike: "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" Dark Curse Jack: (stops hammering to look at Mike, then the table, then back at Mike) "I think it's obvious."

Warrior MVF: "Hey Optimus, wanna see something funny?" Cleric Optimus: "No."

Flower Magnitude: (hovering in the air due to sheer anger alone)

Scientist Maxie: "Those are some big blade fans…" Princess Blades: "I AM A HELICOPTER."

Warrior MVF: "God works in mysterious ways THROUGH YOU. I get it though." Scientist Maxie: "That's horrible advice."

Warrior MVF: "WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!" White Sage: "I don't know, I'm a little freak."

Flower Magnitude: "Hey you wanna try some of my pink lemonade?" Cat Suiuus: "Of course!" (dips entire hand in and licks it) Flower Magnitude:

Flower Magnitude: (having a good time, drinking tea) Warrior Bumblebee: (crashes through the window) "WE NEED TO BORROW SOME MONEY!" Flower Magnitude:

Warrior MVF: "Wait. You're invited to the new playthrough?" Flower Magnitude: "Nope. Elton John challenged me to a fight. I can't make it."

Mage Will: (driking Banshee Tears) Pop Star Quince: "YOU MELTED A BANSHEE?! YOU SICK FREAK!"

Chef Valentina: (injured in bed) "Listen. No time to explain. Get my keys and use the small one to open up a chest downstairs. There's tickets to the cafe next Wednesday, call MVF to tell her that they're for her." Thief Moroko + Scientist Maxie: Chef Valentina: "Listen ass clowns. Just open the chest and get the tickets." Scientist Maxie: "What kind of medication are you on?" Thief Moroko: "I'll get the doctor-" Thief Moroko + Scientist Maxie: (get bonked on the head)

Cat Fluffy: "I can deny it no longer!" Cat Fluffy: "I am small."

Dark Lord Bender: "You're just a little hater." Warrior MVF: "Yeah? And?"

Mage Will: (laying in the middle of the forest) "…" Thief Grimsley: (naruto sprints behind him) Mage Will: 'I may have a mask but I can still see.'

Warrior Clover: "Grimsley's hair makes him look like a catboy." Mage Will: "You're insane."

Thief Grimsley: "I've been writing a book, you see." Imp Quince: "Really? What's it about?" Thief Grimsley: "It has an unreliable narrator. The main character is but a middle schooler." Warrior Clover: "Really? Does he have a favorite food?" Thief Grimsley: "Well, I can't say that for now, but he hates thinking about touching this cheese in his school's yard." Mage Will: "…is he a wimpy kid?"

Imp Quince: "I'm sorry. Who are you guys?" Team Starshine: Scientist Maxie: "We came into your grandfather's restaurant all the time." Imp Quince: "Right…" Warrior MVF: "We have 'Favorite Customer' cards." Thief St. M: "They also count as organ donor cards." Imp Quince: "Oh. He warned me about you guys. Threats of violence and refusal to pay bills." Pop Star MM: "He remembered us!"

Genie Archie: Scientist Maxie: (gunning it across Miitopia just to argue with him) --- Cleric Optimus: "…where did Maxie go?" Thief St. M: "He scented a rival in the wind."

Cat Fluffy: (dancing while on the rowboat) Cleric Oblivion: "You shouldn't do that." Cat Fluffy: Cleric Oblivion: Cat Fluffy: (dances harder)

Imp Quince: "Okay gang. We gotta infiltrate the Dark Lord's castle. It's disguise time." Everyone: (dressed up in E Boy/Girl gear as a sick guitar rift plays)

Imp Quince: "Heya boy! Ready to ride off to save our friends?" Horse Saturn: 'H̿͛ͣg̥̼͇j̗͇͎v͍̘̝g͔̦̺ã̹͈̠d̲̭̹K͊̔A͚ͥB̫͈̽K̈͋J̞͓̦k̻̟͖b̗̞̱j̻͍͕ḣ̺̪̦A̖̮̗f̲̥͈ḳ̜̻̼b͊͂ͩj͈̟̦b͍͚͙.' Imp Quince: Imp Quince: "Haha! That's right!"

Great Sage Mike: "Awwww. : ( You're all alone? You're just a kid? Come on, I'm your big brother now and we'll get some ice cream." Warrior MVF: "Yeah this is weird but okay." --- Great Sage Folur: "What you got hurt again? You going to cry? Going to tear someone apart? Fall down a canyon?" Imp Quince: "Why do you hurt me so."

Cat Fluffy: "Hey whatever happened to that other thief?" Thief Moroko: "Oh, uh, St. M left on a cruise to travel around the world." Cleric Oblivion: "That's odd. I heard she hated water." Cleric Optimus: "And water." Chef Valentina: "And the world."

Imp Quince: "Yes. These are my Neksdor teammates. Yes they are all goth." Cat Fluffy + Scientist Ghostworx + Cleric Oblivion:

Thief Moroko: "Okay WELL I guess I'll meet you in front of Lotus Lake." Thief Moroko: (skedaddles away at breakneck speed) "HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!"

Flower Daë: "Do you have any regrets?" Thief Grimsley: "Absolutely! Thanks for asking."

Mage Will: "Making breakfast for my beautiful teammate!" Thief Grimsley: "Who the fuck is burning down the kitchen?"

Imp Quince: "Come on Lear!" (trying to pick up a fifty lbs barbel) "Time to pump some muscle!" Princess Lear: "No."

Ghostworx: "Got ya a gift." (throws a bar of soap at Oblivion)

Ghostworx: "I hate you all so much." Ghostworx: "Except you Moroko. You're the worst." Thief Moroko: "You can say light things like that now that you have skin. Say one more mean thing and you will regret it." Ghostworx: "I already regret skin. I never wanted this."

Tank Augustin: (rowing the boat) Princess Lear: "…your backside is on fire." Tank Augustin: Princess Lear: Tank Augustin: (visibly smoking)

Tank Augustin: "I got a surprise for you!" (holds out a dead spider cricket) Princess Lear: (screaming)

Imp Quince + Tank Augustin: Princess Lear: (surrounded by gold) "Quit staring, I'll buy anything you need."

Imp Quince: "Yeah! Just me and the boys!" Tank Augustin: :D Princess Lear: "…" Flower Daë: :) MFF Michael: (hard stare)

Thief Moroko: "Hah! You have legs! I can run faster than you!" Scientist Ghostworx: "Oh yeah…" (kicks him)

Warrior MVF: "What up!" Pop Star Ti Gold: "Anyone want pizza? It's on me." Flower Magnitude: "…" Imp Quince: "Oh boy people."

Thief Grimsley: "Bending a spoon with my hands is the same as bending a spoon with my mind. I use my mind to control my hands, you see."

Cat Fluffy: "You look like someone who buys cryptocurrency." Scientist Ghostworx: (injured on the ground) "Just tell me to kys already…" (/s)

Thief Grimsley: (crouches down in front of cigarettes and a long string of pepperoni) Thief Grimsley: "What kind of idiot would lose a fresh pack of smokes, a lighter, and a big fucking piece of pepperoni?" [The trip wire under the cigarettes and pepperoni is plucked.] Thief Grimsley: "Right on- What the fuck?" [Explosion.]

Imp Quince: "I cannot attend work today. I must buy twenty-eight lightbulbs at Home Depot."

Mage Will: "Awww! You're radiant oday, Saturn!" Saturn: "Kill." Mage Will:

Thief Grimsley: (gets his face back) Imp Quince: "YES! I'm so glad to see you aga-" Thief Grismley: (leans in really close to Quince and whispers) "They took my fucking eyes."

Princess Lear + Scientist Ghostworx: (smacking each other in an argument) Tank Augustin: (smacks himself to feel included)

Princess Lear: "I forgot my wallet." Mage Will: "What a joke! I have as well." Thief Red, the bartender: (starring at them)

Scientist Maxie: "I can't beleive we're all not original characters…" Will + Grimsley + Lear + Archie + Optimus + Megatron + Rung + Blades + Bumblebee + Ti Gold + MM + Valentina + Mike + Bender + Judith + Michael + Laurie: (nodding, resigned) Scientist Maxie: "Well! I suppose that is everyone!" Tank Augustin:

Imp Quince: "Alright. If you were leader what would you propose?" Warrior Clover: "More team building exercises." Mage Will: "We teleport." Thief Grimsley: "More bees." Cat Fluffy: "More fish." Scientist Ghostworx: "Nothing." Cleric Oblivion: "Don't pick me." Tank Augustin: "More time to beat up evil!" Princess Lear: "You get to look at me." Flower Daë: "Better dreams." :) --- Mage Will + Thief Grimsley: (walking away from the scuffle) Mage Will: "I can't believe you tried to beat up a cat." Thief grimsley: (wet, smells like fish, and has a few bee stings) "Maybe she should keep her mouth shut." Cat Fluffy: (a meter away)

Scientist Ghostworx: "Nobody wins but me." Scientist Ghostworx: "Excellent."

Cat Fluffy + Thief Moroko: (looking over a boulder) Terror Fiends: (starring at them) Thief Moroko: "Okay. I got a plan. It's what my teammates did with me when they needed to slam a direct hit." Cat Fluffy: "Excellent. What's the pla-" Thief Moroko: (throws Fluffy at the Terror Fiends)

Vampire Candy: (crying) "ALL OF YOU ARE HORRIBLE!" Cat Fluffy + Scientist Ghostworx + Princess Lear: "Googoogaga." Imp Quince: "Hit 'em with the googoogaga!" Cat Fluffy + Scientist Ghostworx + Princess Lear: (beating up a minotaur)

Imp Quince: (being mad) Flower Daë: "JESUS CHRIST YOU'VE BEEN MAD FOR A WHOLE MONTH AT WILL JUST STOP-" (uses Restoring Whistle)

Thief Grimsley: (playing Rock Paper Scissors with the bot) Arcade Bot: "Oh dear. Stop! You've run me dry!" B( Thief Grimsley: (taking his fortune) "Why, no need to feel down." Mage Will: (been projecting the correct answers into his head throughout all the rounds)

Scientist Ghostworx: "You all have no idea how much work I put into this team." Princess Lear: "Oh really now? How much work?" Scientist Ghostworx: "Self-restraint."

Tank Augustin: "Why did you do it?" Cat Fluffy: "For the money."

Darker Lord Mike: Chef Valentina: "Blue Michael." Thief Moroko: "Cotton-Candy Lord of Darkness." Mage Yaiba: "Cookie Monster." Princess Blades: "Neon Blue Bad Hair Day." Warrior MVF: "Blue Man." Darker Lord Mike: (tearing up)

Dark Lord Hope: "Oh? You play music. How amusing-" Princess Lear: (plays the first four notes of Megalovania on a piano) Dark Lord Hope: (explodes)

Warrior MVF: (packing her bags) Cat Suiuus: '?' "What'cha doin' there, sport?" Warrior MVF: "I'm going to go watch someone get beaten up by a chocolate bar this seventeenth!"

Cat Suiuus: "Yesterday I had my first ever thought."

Team Starshine: (getting interrogated by police) Thief St. M: "You will find that none of us will talk." Warrior MVF: "And there's this Dark Lord who's super mean and he took all my friends and I've been trying to get us to save the world so we can go home and this Quizmaster who might not exist and-"

Flower Magnitude: (beaten up but still standing) "Fun Fact: Elton John does not have any eyes behind his funny shades." Flower Magnitude: (wipes away some blood from their face) "You don't want to know how I found that out." Flower Magnitude: Flower Magnitude: "I took them off of his face… with a punch." Flower Magnitude: "Maybe."

Princess Lear: Princess Blades: Princess Lear: Princess Blades: Princess Lear: "You're old." Princess Blades: (snaps)

Imp Quince: (lazily scrolling through the TV channels) His Team: (watching him) Warrior Clover: "…don't you wanna go adventuring today?" Imp Quince: "Meh." Cleric Oblivion: "You've been like this all summer." Flower Daë: "Come on. Let's do a summer thing before it's over." Scientist Ghostworx: "We could die." Princess Lear: "We will not die." Imp Quince: "Let the Darker Lord take a few more places. I'm gonna eat more ice crea-" Mage Will: (shakes him)

Dark Lord Hope: "That horse…" Saturn: Dark Lord Hope: "His smug aura mocks me…"

Dark Lord Hope: "If he's your Great Sage then why's his leitmotif part of my later theme?" Imp Quince: "Your what?" Darker Lord Folur: Imp Quince: (squeaks)

Princess Lear: "You can't hurt me! We're on the same team!" Scientist Ghostworx: (breaks their glass beaker and threatens Lear with it) "Don't fucking try me."

Imp Quince: "Miss anyone from where you're from?" Tank Augustine: "Oh yeah!" (starts to gush) "Besides my niece and service dog, I'm always working with this man who has a cat and he's very scratchy on the eyes but he's very sweet! One time I baked him some breakfast for work and he was so flabbergasted that he didn't speak to me the whole day! He's also a cyborg like me and has these bulks forearms with claws and spikes-" Imp Quince: "Claws?" Tank Augustine: "Yep! That's also his last name!" Imp Quince: Tank Augustine: "He's also a doctor!" Imp Quince: 'I don't wanna go to a doctor named Claw what the fuuuuuuuu-'

Tank Augustin: (rewiring the circuits in his arms, humming) Scientist Ghostworx: 'I wonder how he came to be part machine… I could have easily possessed his mechanical parts in my older body…' Cat Fluffy: (pokes Augustin) "Hey. How did you get to be like that?" Tank Augustin: "Oh this?" (closes arm) "I slipped on a banana peel." Scientist Ghostworx: Cat Fluffy: "What the fuck." Tank Augustin: "Right into a hamburger meat processor." Scientist Ghostworx: 'We are only meat now… Makes sense.' Cat Fluffy: (nods) "Banana peels are no joke."

Vampire Candy + Vampire Maddox: Imp Quince: ’Oh no.’

Team Starshine: “You guys had to beat up the sun too?” Team Electric: “Yeah and we got this weird mad scientist who needed a face.” Team Starshine: “No shit!”

Dark Curse Perenelle: “I am so full of rage as to what the people of the sands did to me and my husband.” Flower Daë: ’She’s cute in a mad science-y kind of way.’

Dark Curse Perenelle: “What’s with the Elder God?” Imp Quince: “You mean Ghostworx? They’re harmless.” Dark Curse Perenelle: “No your fucking horse.” Imp Quince: “Saturn? He’s our love and joy, our baby, our-“ Horse? Saturn: “Shush. The Eldest is listening.” Imp Quince:

YFF Laurie: (asleep) MFF Michael: (shakes her awake) YFF Laurie: "ERF- Michael!" MFF Michael: (signs) 'Can you take me to Cracker Barrel?'

Princess Blades: "YOWCH!" (holds his wrist) "My wirst ouch! Ouch! I think I put too much strain on it…" Warrior MVF: "Oh no!" (looks at his wrist) "Aww… Let's get you some ice." --- Princess Lear: "WOAH! OUCH!" (holds his wrist) "I think I twisted it or something… Ouch…" Imp Quince: "So? I'm not holding your hand."

Tank Augustine: "If shorts are called shorts then why aren't pants called 'longs'." Mage Will: "Damn. That. That fucked me up. I need a break."

Princess Blades: "Hit the SLAY button." Princess Lear: (unconscious on the floor)

Genie Archie: "You order will be out shortly." Princess Lear: "Epic win!" Genie Archie: "…your order has been delayed."

Imp Quince: "-and I just feel like I'm not up to the task and I'm going to fail and-" Great Sage Folur: (pondering his orb) "Uhuh…"

Scientist Ghostworx: “Imagine if this world was a video game and our survival was dependent on Quince.” Cat Fluffy: “You’ve been watching too much YouTube go take a nap.”

Imp Quince: "Maddox! Distract those fiends!" Vampire Maddox: "You got it, boss!" (starts ham-boning and doing a lil dance with his legs) Fiends: (starring)

Thief St. M: Scientist Ghostworx: Thief St. M: 'Punk.' Scientist Ghostworx: 'Edgelord.'

Saturn: (playing Horse Plinko and winning)

Tank Fort Max: "You have my gun." Tank Aries: "And my gun!" Tank Augustine: "And my gun!"

Tank Augustine: "Uh oh!" Tank Augustine: (loads a glock) "I'm out of MP!"

Pop Star Electra: (new picture of desktop space with two monitors and a 'Lit' neon sign) "New setup." Imp CB: "Ut." Pop Star Electra: "Not what it says."

Tank GB: (looks at Dinah) "My lovely queen…." Tank GB: (looks at CB) "And who could forget dear rat boy?" Imp CB:

Great Sage Momma: "What would you like for Christmas, Rusty dear?" 'He's such a good champion, I bet he's wishing for peace and hope for all the world-' Warrior Rusty: "A PSVista." Great Sage Momma: "…" 'PSVista…'

Warrior Rusty + Flower Ashley + Tank Greaseball + Thief Moroko: (sitting in the inn) Flower Ashley: "Aren't we supposed to be doing something?" Elsewhere- Quizmaster Magnitude: (collapsed on the ground, surrounded by coffee beans)

Imp CB: "I SUMMON POT OF GREED TO DRAW THREE ADDITIONAL CARDS FROM MY DECK." Genie BV: "That’s not what it does." Imp CB: "ROLL MY DICE!" (throws dice at the wall) "THAT IS WHAT IT DOES! POT OF GREED- DRAW THREE- I SUMMON POT OF GREED TO DRAW THREE ADDITIONAL CARDS FROM MY DECK. AND I SUMMON POT OF GREED TO DRAW THREE ADDITIONAL CARDS FROM MY DECK. THEN I PLAY MAGIC FORCE, WHICH ALLOWS ME TO PLAY POT OF GREED ONCE AGAIN TO DRAW THREE ADDITIONAL CARDS FROM MY DECK." Tank Greaseball: "You know he’s right." Genie BV: "And I attack and I win, right?" Imp CB: "NO." Genie BV: "You don’t have any- you don’t have any monsters." Imp CB: "OH HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE HERE." (summons Cat Suiuus) Genie BV: "What?!" Warrior Rusty: "Aw you got the Celtic Guardian." Imp CB: "MY TURN, I SUMMON DARK MADI- MAGICIAN!" (summons Mage Yaiba) "I ALSO SUMMON JACK’S KNIGHT." (summons Warrior Clover) Genie BV: "What, how? You can’t summon a bunch of cards on one turn, that’s against the rules!" Imp CB: "YOU NEVER SAW THIS COMING, I SUMMON POT OF GREED TO DRAW THREE ADDITIONAL CARDS FROM MY DECK." Genie BV: "That’s not what it does! It doesn’t do that!" Pop Star Electra: "That is what it does!" Genie BV: "It doesn’t-" Cleric Pearl: "I play Michael Jordan in… attack position!" Imp CB: "THAT’S WHAT- THAT’S WHAT IT DO, BV!" Chef Buffy: "That does what it do!"

Warrior Rusty: (comes back to his room at the inn) "…?!" Imp CB: (in the room already) "Surprise! Man, you have got to get a better lock on your window." [The window is shattered.] Warrior Rusty:

Horse Saturn: (nudges Quince) Imp Quince: “??” Horse Saturn: (puts an egg into Quince’s hand) Imp Quince: ‘Egg…’

Princess Poppy Blood: "Dear Quince, Do NOT come to the castle. I baked an absolute dog shit cake. Just absolutely fucked it up. I'm so sorry -- Best wishes, Poppy."

Tank Augustin: (keeps missing the moles) Tank Augustin: (shaking in anger) Tank Augustin: "Go-Go-Gadget Never Find the Bodies."

Thief Grimsley: "Hey if I was going through smething would you guys be there for me?" 😔 👉 👈 Thief Moroko: "No." Thief St. M: "No." Thief X YZ: "No."

Warrior Megatron: "I've been reading your blog. Are you transgender?" Cleric Optimus:

[Team Starlight is facing a sleeping dragon.] Tank Greaseball: "Don't say a word." Pop Star Electra: "...fergalicious." Tank Greaseball: "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Pop Star Electra: "Oh so when I play it at Scrabble it's not a word but it is now?"

Princess Lear: "WE have all of the pronouns now!" (He/Him) Imp Quince: "What the FUCK are you guys talking about?!?!" ( / ) Cat Fluffy: "It's $500 for new pronouns." (She/Her) Scientist Ghostworx: "Pay up." (They/Them)

Imp CB: "Apartment complex? I find it quite simple." Imp Quince: "You're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?" Warrior MVF: "Based? Based on what?"

Imp Quince: "Bitches." Scientist Ghostworx + Cat Fluffy + Princess Lear: (idle, not paying attention) "What?" Imp Quince: "Kill." Scientist Ghostworx + Cat Fluffy + Princess Lear: (abruptly snap to attention to go attack the monster)

Imp Quince: "Let's get right into the action!" (pokes Saturn for Horse Whispering) Saturn: (shocked) 'You POKE Saturn?! You STAB Saturn?! JAIL! Jail for a THOUSAND YEARS-!!!' Saturn: (dragging Quince away by the back of his outfit) 💢 Imp Quince: (screaming)

Quizmaster Magnitude: "Okay Rusty! You ready to take home all the gold in this bonus round?" Warrior Rusty: "You bet I am!" Quizmaster Magnitude: "Radical! Here is your question: What is E-Y-E-S?" Warrior Rusty:

Quizmaster Magnitude: "My questions are NOT that hard!" Quizmaster Magnitude: "Now identify this rock for your prize of five bananas!"

Great Sage Momma: "Well Rusty, it's Pride Month. You know what that means." (begins to walk away) Warrior Rusty: "What? Huh? You want us to save gay faces?"

Warrior Rusty: "I'm sad..." Mailman: (starts to beatbox) Warrior Rusty: "Stop."

Warrior Rusty: "What do we get if we win?" Quizmaster Mags: (holding up a bundle of bananas) "Five bananas." Scientist Coco: "And if we lose?" Quizmaster Mags: "One banana." Warrior Rusty: (whispering to his teammates) "The stakes are high..."

Warrior Rusty: (waking up after being knocked out) "Guh....." Warrior MVF + Chef Valentina + Great Sage Mike + Tank GB + Imp Joe: (hovering over him) "You okay? What's the last thing you remember?" Warrior Rusty: "I remember... The Alamo..." All: (cheer)

Thief Moroko: "Oh, so you like trains? Name every train." Warrior Rusty: (cracks knuckles)

[Horse neighing in the distance.] Scientist Maxie: "Someone's stealing that horse!" Chef Valentina: "Quick, MM! Call the cops while we help!" Pop Star MM: "Okay- Oh, cops are bad, actually…" (starts dialing the Dark Lord)

Tomato Bros: (spits up ketchup) Tank Greaseball: (swallows it whole and regains HP) Tomato Bros: Warrior Rusty: Flower Ashley: Thief Moroko: Tank Greaseball: "…I like tomatoes."

. Chef Dinah: "Knowing what you know now, what year of your life would you return to?" Tank GB: "September tenth. Two-thousand and one." Chef Dinah: "…please take this seriously." Imp CB: "I would go to six million years into the past to reverse evolutionary results." Chef Dinah: "You weren't even alive then!" Warrior Rusty: "I second September." Chef Dinah: "NO!!!" Warrior Rusty: "September of two-thousand and fourteen. I wanna play Five Nights at Freddy's for the first time again." Chef Dinah: "Oh?" Chef Buffy: "I want that too!" Chef Buffy: "Where would you go, Di?" Chef Dinah: "I'd go to my final class of baking school to redo my final of course!" ✨ Pop Star Electra: "I would go back to the year of February eleven, twenty-twelve to stop Whitney Houston from-" Warrior Rusty: "WE'RE IN A KID-FRIENDLY GAME!"

Dark Lord Bender: "RAHAHAH! I'm on the cusp of victory here, meatbags!" Warrior MVF: "You haven't won yet... NOW! MM!" Pop Star MM: "Ultimate Attack!" (puts her mic in her mouth and makes horrible noises) Dark Lord Bender: (gets hit with horrendous mic feedback)

Extra ship interactions:

Cleric Issac, trying to flirt: "So, uh, hehe, are you a big spoon or little spoon?" Thief St. M: "I'm a knife."

Mage Will + Thief Grimsley: (on a date looking at the stars) Thief Grimsley: "The stars are beautiful night…" Mage Will: "Yes!" Thief Grimsley: "Do you know what else is beautiful?" Mage Will: "The 30% Discount at the Traveler's Hub."

Flower Magnitude: "…" Princess ???: "What?" Flower Magnitude: "Can you take off your shades just this once?" Princess ???: "Fine." (takes off shades) Flower Magnitude: Princess ???: Flower Magnitude: "You're actually kind of ugly."

Thief St. M: (sniffing) "Something is burning." Cleric Issac: "Just my love for you…" Thief St. M: (staring at a burning toaster)

Thief Grimsley: "Life dropped an epic husband, the rarest of its loot table, and I was lucky enough to win the need roll." Mage Will: "I love you but please don't say that in public."

Genie Archie: Scientist Maxie: "WHY ARE YOU BIG?!" ///

Amibo Lover Wysteria: "Look! Someone's so happy to see you!" Quizmaster Magnitude: "?" (turns to see where Wysteria is gesturing) Imp Joe: (tail wagging so violently it decimates the bushes he's next to) "/////////" Quizmaster Magnitude: "//////"

Pop Star Electra: ✨ Tank Greaseball: "////////////" Warrior Rusty: (slides up next to Greaseball) "Tell him 'You have beautiful eyes.'" Tank Greaseball: "Thanks." (turns to Electra) "I have beautiful eyes."

#mvf talks #miitopia #i'm not tagging all of the characters. that's too much.#it's all my casted players. how about that?

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jiraivampdoll · 2 days ago

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jirai to me...? this won't be for everyone. some of these might seem too surrealist to be about anything but I promise they very much are deeper than just "trippy dreamscape". if you love abstraction (like me) you'll probably know these movies. if you don't enjoy the bizzare, I've included some here that are straightforward. cw for gore, suicide, abuse, rape and exploitation. much love fellow landmines, take care of yourself please. though i personally loooove watching movies that hurt me because it's how i feel alive

TAG (Real Onigokko or Riaru Onigokko) 2015 is a subtle movie about rape, sexual exploitation, lack of access to abortion and suicide. these are themes and not overt depictions, but it is VERY graphic (gore)

it had to be subtle because it is taboo to talk about. it is a wild adaptation of a book (Riaru Onigokko) and is hardly related to the book and therefore the other film adaptations of the book as it's interested in exploring a different thesis and was targeted at the sort of men who enjoyed the original novel & movie adaptions. it's sort of surrealist and therefore confusing, but it is definitely talking about very important shit.

Perfect Blue (Pâfekuto Burû) this movie created Black Swan. Black Swan is a Westernization of Perfect Blue. I have SO MUCH to say about this movie, PB is one of my top 3 fav of all time, but I refuse to clog this post up with too much babbling. cw for rape depicted. this movie is about dealing with trauma via dissociation, not a choice (as it isn't) but as a mechanism for surviving horrific events.

Paprika (Papurika) 2006. if you can't handle Perfect Blue, please do not watch Paprika. it's PB on hardmode. Paprika is about the psychiatric institution and it's politics, as well as trauma (dissociation) repressed memories and the ideal self vs the actual self. if you like SEL (Serial Experiments Lain) you may enjoy Paprika. it is very abstract (like PB) but still very on the nose.

Pearl. This movie wouldn't exist without Perfect Blue, but it is a whole separate beast. It's SO good. this is about dealing with an abusive mother, with allusions to an incestuous father. as someone with both & as a result, many mental health conditions, Pearl feels like a VERY BPD & maladaptive daydreaming disorder character. some argue that she's not, it's all interpersonal/interpretation, so if she isn't to you, that's cool.

Black Swan. the Perfect Blue adaptation you've seen everywhere on tumblr, and likely even seen. it's a tamer version of PB and less surrealist, but still dealing with the same topics and even some new ones (sexploitation in ballet, repressed homosexuality) as a former ballet dancer, I really love this movie. it speaks to me.

Hard Candy. this movie is everything to me, but a bit too much for most. cw for pedophilia, child sexually exploitive material, sexual abuse of children and suicide. this is a revenge film. as a victim of CSEM and childhood sexual exploitation and abuse, I love this movie. it's so fucking satisfying.

please feel free to send me asks or DMs about movies, I'm a huge movie watcher as I love analyzing the themes in art. to date I've seen thousands of movies. international, Hollywood blockbuster, indie, horror to slice of life, I love movies and I collect them as a hobby. if you want a more thorough dissection of these or any other movies I recommend, drop by and chat because I have so many movie recs that aren't really jirai but are adjacent!

jirai media recommendations (feel free 2 suggest more)

some r still ongoing btw

-Young Adult Matters

movie (2021)

tw: sh, substance abuse, bullying, violence, gore, prostitution, death, sa, homelessness, sexual content, abuse, profanity, unwanted pregnancy (prob more im forgetting)

-Tomorrow I’m gonna be someone’s girlfriend

manga (2019-2024) and tv show (2022-2023)

tw: sh, profanity, sexual content, violence, substance abuse (again prob more im forgetting)

-Kairiki Bear

musician

song suggestions: darling dance, bug, failure girl, villain

-Isana

musician

song suggestions: Menhera Janai Mon!, Loved Smoothie

-Sensitive Boy

manga (2022-2024)

tw: sexual themes, sa, sh, violence (prob more i still need 2 read it ngl)

-Sentimental Death Loop

video game (2023)

tw: death, partial nudity, sexual themes, profanity, sh, suicide, violence, gore,

-Needy Streamer Overload

game (2022)

tw: sh, sexual themes, violence, substance abuse, blood, profanity, death, cults, vomiting (prob more that im forgetting)

-Strawberry Painkiller

musician

song suggestions: Bloodsucking Dreams, Grave Skull, Thousand Knives, Sugar Truth, Pharmakeia

-Candye Syrup

musician

song suggestions: idol of death, sweet suicide, C♡S.I.S

-Hookah Haze

game (2024)

tw: death, terminal illness, stalking, substance abuse (its just hookah im pretty sure but still gonna include the warning lmao)

-Magical Girl Site

anime (2018) and manga (2014-2019)

tw: bullying, violence, suicide, abuse, blood (prob more i havent finished it)

feel free 2 suggest more! out of all of these i suggest young adult matters, kairiki bear, nso, and strawberry painkiller the most!

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souphamsters · 1 month ago

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I've been hopelessly fixated on drawing one (1) sweetheart butchfemme couple ... they're all I think abt ... HELP !!!

(silly lesbian ocs that I love , chae🍓and lucky🍋!!!)

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 month ago

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All cards on the table.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #wen qing #Wei Wuxian has been such a menacing figure this whole episode.#Honestly if he never did anything else spooky after this point I would fully accept all the rumours stemmed from his hunt for Wen Ning.#Man walks into the room like 'what up I've got a flute that can toot and scare you to your root'#and all of the Jin sect started shaking and sweating. Someone from the Nie sect started to clap.#A JGY moment that I don't see talked about enough: He absolutely wishes he could go candidly apeshit in court like WWX did.#He's too concerned with his reputation to risk it though. The weightiness of 'I agree with his point but I choose inaction' is heavy.#Not for his character in particular but as part of the rhetoric MDZS sets out to routinely critique.#It's a bit too much to unpack in the tags of a silly comic in which someone plays her 'hysterical woman card' literally.#Next comic is a really special one. I'm so excited for you all to see it B*)

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deadclockghost · 3 months ago

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To Comfort The Moon

A lil doodly comfort crumb from this AU. I swear it's more lighthearted than this! ....Mostly, anyway.

Usually, comments like that slide right over Moon, it doesn't really bother him, that day was just a bad one, and the kids weren't feeling as nice as they usually do. It happens. And they know they have each other to just be there! They're not alone.

Most of the Daycare space is canon compliant, with a few extras just because; in this case, Moon's Nap Corner! While most kids prefer being outside of the little nook, some feel safer inside, which is why it exists :)

I was debating whether to add the other important guys in this comic, but decided that this moment happened prior to their intro, or there are plot related reasons they're not here! It doesn't really matter... ^^'

Under the cut is the comic without dialogue! I feel like it's still understandable without it, and I kinda prefer it anyway, so I decided to post! Anyways, see you when I actually introduce the others correctly! (Aka post their refs) :>

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dootznbootz · 2 months ago

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Fascinating how Polites, the character who is the personification of Odysseus' optimism and is only in 5 songs, is more grieved and appreciated than Eurylochus, a character who is his own person and is in 11 songs.

#I'm being a hater but meh :/ it's just kind of baffling to me. Don't get me wrong. Polites plays his purpose for the musical #and it is neat how Jay took one line from him in the Odyssey and got silly with it and basically created his own character.#but like... All we know about Polites is that he's nice... that's literally it. He's Odysseus' optimism personified. which is why he died.#And it's not as though it isn't sad that he died. It's just that we got to know Eurylochus longer and truly get to know him more #is it because with how little people know about Polites other than “uwu sweetiepie” people like that so they can headcanon more?#is it because Eurylochus is “too complex” and therefore “not likable”??#idk. I'm gonna be burned at the stake for this I know it. but I don't understand it.#like during “Love in Paradise” it wasn't “Open Arms” that made me sad. It was “How much longer...” and “Waiting...” that made me sad #I mean I'm an “UwU sweetiepie” too (not right now though clearly lol) so maybe I'm “meh” about him because he's just “me”?#Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #epic the musical #polites #eurylochus #hm. maybe I shouldn't tag this but I'm actually really kind of curious as to why people cling to him so much?

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arttsuka · 2 months ago

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Based on somewhat real events

I spent way too much time drawing this...

But yeah, Ford finally saying thank you

A continuation (kinda)

#sometimes my skin smells too strongly and I hate it. I wanna crawl up and die. it's not that bad usually #only when I'm already overstimulated #there were 2 times where I was sick and I started crying and almost threw up because the smells were too strong #one time the smell of tge city. the other time it was roasted chicken. I still feel sick when I smell reheated chicken to this day #I'd love to have someone comfort me and rub my back in these moments but 1. I don't want anyone to touch me and #2. I feel like I don't deserve to be touched because it's an inconvenience to others #anyway enough about me. I am now projecting in these characters #I hate drawing their faces so much #gravity falls #stanford pines #ford pines #young stanford pines #stan pines #stanley pines #young stan pines #art #fanart #traditional art #comic #long post #watercolor #forgot to mention but I can't take a shower when the sun is still up except if I was swimming in a pool/sea. no specific reason I just can'#projecting to Ford because Stan would never feel like that :/ oh well #is this cringe? maybe. probably. do I care? no. not really #I'm self diagnosing myself with 'definitely something wrong but not further specified' because this can't be normal #btw sorry if this is disappointing. I tried my best (the first part is pretty neat imo)#wonder if anyone is gonna read all of these tags #is this the worst thing you've seen yet?#teen stan #teen ford

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jontaro-kun · 3 months ago

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That one time a pose study (looking at art of pretty women and telling myself I was being productive) turned into Portia

#art #digital art #the arcana #the arcana fanart #portia devorak #Wishing all my fellow Portia likers a pleasant evening #At this point I just alternate between drawing Nadia and drawing Portia whenever the crippling brainrot and loneliness become too much to b #lol I hit the tag character limit #“Oh this is precious the straight guy has fallen in love with the only two options” *crowd laughs*#Earlier today I finished 100%ing both Mario Kart 8 and Mario Kart 8 Deluxe so that was pretty cool #That has nothing to do with the art but it's a solid reminder of why I have acquired absolutely zero maidens #My main build is Green Shy Guy in the Tanooki Kart/Leaf Tires and Flower Glider in case you're like the 1 person who's wondering #Oh and after posting this I'm gonna make mac and cheese and watch One Piece cause I recently finished Skypeia and got to Water 7 #Kinda worried tbh cause this is like the one everyone talks about #Man I REALLY hope the Mario Kart 8 and One Piece fandoms don't get tagged cause of my yapping but that'd be pretty funny if they did #Man if you read through all these tags I'm sorry jhkdfvbsjh #Okay that's all have a good one

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crispyjenkins · 3 months ago

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mandalore the young cont.

original post/discussion here! it was just getting really long and i for one hate scrolling so far, so. here's this. have also added this au to my masterlist in my pinned post!

@malcontent-crow

#i had a whole wall of tags and it didnt save! lets try this again#i am loving this. the potential for world building and the consequences of knowing more than you should (literally)

#i had forgotten that DW wasnt in peoples thoughts as a threat during the Clan Wars#and the idea that Pre was so far underground with the movement is a very good thing to remember as well! #on one hand you have this driven and spirited young verd that is inspiring Clans to start reassessing who they are fighting and why#on the other you have this clanless outsider that knows waaaaay too much about all the potential major players and is saying#that this major threat isnt really as gone as everybody thought and hoped. sith parallels out the wahoo for ppor obi#and hes standing there watching them all argue over his head about this threat that he KNOWS needs to be dealt with#he is seeing himself as pretty on par or above with the Old Guard in terms of mental age or prowess or large scale battles#so he sees them doubt him maybe even to his face and knows he'll need to get things started on his own

#and becauae everything in the galaxay has at least one person watching it from the outside... how quickly does the news of a jedi padawan#going off the rails on this mission get out? whos keeping track and who points fingers at the jedi for attempting to control the outcome#of the war of their historical enemies in their favor? the senate (read sith) want mandalore defanged before their war but what does it look#like the jedi want? how does the council answer for his actions? do they condemn or condone him? do they try to stay out of it?

#the world building potential of the Manda and the Ka'ra is delicious.#what does it mean to be a mando or darmanda? can you walk around and have people look at you and know you have failed in your oaths?

#and ouch! Obi-Wan considering the fact that he has never been allowed to be his own person.#from padawan to knight/master and then a general and councilor and sheesh. hes really never had the chance to see who he is as a person#outside of his responsibilities to everybody around him and right now hes a war worn adult in a war worn teens body#hes always had somebody else there. as a battle companion a teacher a student as somebody to protect and guard and guide#and now he has this entire culture looking at him and waiting for his next move. and im guess it still feels like less than a burden than#the care and raising of an entire child on his own. sure he had the temple resources and other jedi to lean on but anakin always looked to#him first to solve any problem or teach him something new or cuddle him after nightmares as hes trying to hide his own dreams#and grief and flounding to find his footing as an independent adult

#so right now hes looking around at the entire mando population and realizing thats he might need to reshape himself again for somebody else#to make himself what others need and knowing he can and will do it if it means saving somebody else

#and when exactly did he come back from the war? did he have satine die in his arms and see the ruin that is madalore after a pacifist reign?#does he see the potential for that ruin to happen right now if he doesnt succeed? where does he see himself in regards to the jedi?#has he considered the consequences of stepping up to be the Mand'alor to this culture he has never seen as his own?#has he let himself think about the choices he needs to make and how some things you cant always come out the other side the same as before?

(following the trend of each of these getting longer, this has hit just under 5,000 words, so just a heads up lol? so much world building is happening in this one)

sorry you had to rewrite so much! that last exchange was cursed, it seems lmao

it's so easy to write Obi-Wan as prescient, or the route I'm going with in Dha Kar'ta, so i think it's a fun change-up to have him knowledgeable for completely different reasons! I'm actually going to avoid visions almost at all for this Obi, but everyone else certainly won't know the difference, and he doesn't tell them otherwise (though he won't encourage it either. I do actually have a Naruto time travel where Nart pretends to be psychic à la Shawn Spencer, so that isn't the route I wanna go for this Obi). the consequences of knowing too much, indeed

hmmm many of these questions depend on how deep into Jedi and galactic politics I wanna go, and I'm not sure it's very deep at all. or at least, not very dragged out. i'll explain in a mo

SO first: yes, this Obi is from after Satine dies, in 19 BBY, maybe a month or so after, but before the bombing of the Temple so before Ahsoka left the Order. He was back on the front, no time to properly mourn, though he was doing his best, and was meditating on the whole war, but especially the Sith and their hand in everything that happened on Mandalore. It went deeper than Maul, he knew, had been going on longer than Maul and even Dooku, and it occurred to Obi-Wan that the Sith either wanted a Mandalore that will side with them but not be too much a threat, or they wanted them not a threat at all. He realised his hand in that, in helping put the New Mandalorians on the throne that led to the demilitarisation of the entire sector. Obi-Wan had practically teed Mandalore up for Dooku and then Maul's interference, and if the Republic won the war, he could all too easily see them doing another excision. won't get too much into it to save it for the fic, but he is mediating with something beskar, and he gets a lil too deep into the Force, and of course this is post-Mortis so...... 👀

so this Obi-Wan, back in time, is helping Mandalore to prevent any more Sith machinations in the future, to change the future for the whole galaxy, but even before he's Chosen, he realises he's also doing all of this for Mandalore. for his own hand in its destruction, for the Jedi's hand in the Excision, for his personal connection to Satine drawing Maul to it. it's for atonement, for reparation, and also because Mandalore deserves to be saved, and Obi-Wan is in a place he can help do that. it isn't just about the health of the galaxy, anymore.

I usually shy away from having Obi-Wan leave the Order, no matter what AU I'm throwing him in because I believe in the fundamental goodness of the Order and the people in it, and Obi-Wan is fundamentally a Jedi, one of the best, one of the best. however, in this case, I don't think he can have his cake and eat it too. if Dooku had to leave the Order to accept his countship, then Obi-Wan would have to leave to become Mand'alor. Jedi are (supposed to be) politically neutral, and Obi-Wan is all too aware he'd nullified his own neutrality the moment he decided to go for Keldabe to find Jango.

one of my favorite... tropes? in time travel fic is Obi using his future fellow councilmembers' access codes to get into things he shouldn't, and he certainly knows how to work the Order's internal systems in his favor, so he

wait so i was gonna have him go in and tender his resignation from the Order directly into the systems, and backdate it for before the Mandalore mission, so that anything he's done on Mandalore so far cannot be blamed on the Jedi BUT WHAT IF he just. deletes himself. like completely. from admin to the Archives to the crèche's own internal systems to the Shadow's private servers, Obi-Wan Kenobi was never a Jedi, was never a Temple bastard, was never Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan. his mission records are all in Qui-Gon's name now, his medical file simply doesn't exist, his crècheling clan is listed as simply having been a person short compared to other clans that year. he goes so far as to delete comm histories with him or mentioning him, it's like Obi-Wan Kenobi just doesn't exist anymore.

he does this first thing after leaving Jango, he spends the entire week back to Mandalore ensuring he's been completely erased from absolutely anything relating to the Jedi, and then uses his future councilmember knowledge (and lessons from Quinlan) to erase himself from Republic systems, too. any planet he'd helped as a padawan will suddenly have no records of him as having been there with his master, so the senate or Order can't subpoena them for the info, though Obi-Wan knows he can't have gotten everything (such as any planet not in the Republic, or who don't have holonet access to their files, or both, like Melida/Daan), but he figures he's done enough to absolve the Order if anyone comes knocking about what he's doing.

he buries his lightsaber in the deserts of Mandalore, not knowing that in his old future, he'd have done the same on Tatooine.

so as far as the Jedi are aware: Obi-Wan went on a mission with Qui-Gon that (predictably) went to hell, got separated from his master for weeks to months, then suddenly changed, at the same time their Jedi with the highest prescience collapsed due to his visions, which have also changed. Obi-Wan left Qui-Gon behind to hightail it through the Mandalore sector, and Qui-Gon couldn't catch up or find him, and then Obi-Wan disappeared from anyone's radars for two weeks. then Qui-Gon senses him reenter the Mandalore system, right before breaking his training bond with him, and the Order wakes up to Obi-Wan completely erased from their systems like he never existed in the first place. everything is going so so wrong, and yet. and yet.

and yet the Force is telling them all that this is right, that this is the least Dark course of action, that whatever Obi-Wan is doing is indeed the Will of the Force

so the Order mourns one of their own, and tells Qui-Gon to let him go. and then the Order ups their cyber security because what.

i think he leaves an unsigned letter/comm message for a few people. Bant, Quinlan, Mace, Feemor, his old crèchemaster, Yoda, maybe Jocasta Nu. it's short, basically thanking them for their hand in his upbringing (Feemor hasn't even met him before so is very confused by this), apologising for leaving abruptly, but to follow the Will of the Force, he had to leave; the first part of the message is all the same, but ends with little individual notes. he apologises to Madam Nu for fucking with her archives and hopes she can one day forgive him; he asks her to keep her friends close and to mend the tension between her and Dooku, that Obi-Wan should not know about. He tells Yoda that the future is always in motion but they must move with it; he asks Yoda to meditate on his dwindling lineages and learn to accept all that he cannot control. He reminds Quinlan to wear his gloves and asks him to thank Tholme for looking out for him when Qui-Gon wouldn't or didn't; he thanks him for their years together, and asks him to check in on Feemor every now and then. He apologises to Mace for all the shatter-points he likely caused and will continue to cause, and suggests he put a permanent reminder in his comm to remember to refill his migraine prescription that sixteen year-old Obi should not know about. He asks Bant to look out for a young Togruta initiate that will join in seven years, and suggests Bant might like the healer track rather than the knight corps; he thanks her for being his longest and most dearly-held friend. He thanks his crèchemaster for realising his visions were more than dreams (which will inadvertently lend credence to that theory for why Obi-Wan changed so suddenly), for supporting him when Bruck was at his nastiest, and for always being someone he could turn to even after he became a padawan. For Feemor, Obi-Wan apologises that they hadn't had the chance to meet before then, and for the relationship they won't have anymore; Feemor has no idea who this message is from, until he starts hearing the gossip that Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Order again. He too mourns never getting to know his padawan brother.

and Obi-Wan sends Qui-Gon a message, of course, thanking him for his teachings, apologising for "leading him on" as an apprentice, leaving and coming back so many times only to permanently leave this time. he reminds Qui to reach out to his friends and his support system, asks him to at least consider talking to a mind or soul healer about Xanatos (knowing that once it gets out that Obi-Wan is a planetary leader, it will likely badly trigger Qui-Gon), and asks him to at least try and mend his relationship with Dooku, though understands if that's not something Qui-Gon is willing to do. asks him to keep Satine safe, but to deeply think about why the Republic is so intent on helping her faction, and why Qui-Gon had questioned so little of the New Mandalorian ethos.

so by the time Obi-Wan finds the Old Guard, he's broken from the Order completely, has buried his saber, has broken his training bond, has cut his braid. I think he shaves his head entirely to let it grow out at the same rate, because the padawan cut is *Eliot Spencer voice* Very Distinctive. he paints his armour white for, yes, his men, his vod'e, but also for cin vhetin. he can't be the man he was before, nor the teen he was before, neither are who Mandalore needs, and as long as he can stay true to his morals and upbringing, he will be what Mandalore needs him to be.

okay now onto the Manda vs. the Ka'ra vs. the Force. the Force is a scientific concept of an energy connecting absolutely everything in the universe, and the Jedi have a religious view on the scientific concept. for both purposes, the Force just is. I really like the idea of other non-Jedi ideas just being different aspects of the Force, different religions and cultures based on the same scientific concepts. for Mandalorians, their "aspect" of the Force is the Manda, the collective souls of every Mando'ade that's ever marched on. just what it means to be Mando'ade has varied greatly through history, and is varied between different groups even now, but none of that changes what the Manda is, which is an aspect of the Force only Mando'ade can touch. sort of like their beliefs of it being separate from the Force have made it so?

now I haven't really talked about this before, but from the beginning of me writing Mandalorian related things, i've separated Ka'ra from ka'ra, which was a little bit me misremembering there was another term for "stars", and then it became it's own thing. kar, meaning "star", with it's plural kar'e or kare, to me, means physical stars, the way we'd call our sun a star. ka'ra, uncapitalised, is the more poetic and/or spiritual "stars", the way we might say something is "written in the stars", which actually aligns with how jate'kara is spelled; for my writing, i've used this form for Mandalorian Force-sensitives being Star-touched ka'ra-touched. Ka'ra, capitalised, is that "ruling council of fallen kings", the Mandalorian myth and it, the way I've always interpreted it, is a separate part of the Manda made up of specifically the souls of every Mand'alor already marched on. So, Tor Vizsla could have joined the Manda after death, but not the Ka'ra; make sense? all that ka'ra vs Ka'ra worldbuilding was done very early in my writing for star wars, and has since expanded to include the idea of the Manda as something separate, and I would now actually consider Manda-touched over Star-touched to describe Force sensitive Mando'ade, because that's really what I think Mandalorians would consider causes their supernatural powers: ancestors rather than the stars.

so what does that mean for this fic? the Manda is directly influenced by all those that consider themselves Mandalorian, Force-sensitive or not. it is, however, not affected by New Mandalorians, unless they worship the Manda in some facsimile, and I think many, many, many do not, not the way they were raised to. this worship looks different for every clan and every individual, and I've always interpreted it as more of a broad spiritual practice across the whole culture rather than a religion, per se, the way a real-world broader culture might pray at shrines at New Years even if individuals themselves or their family aren't religious. this is what I'm referencing when I say the Will of the People: the alive Mando'ade and their choices and emotions affecting and influencing the Manda, the collective amalgamation of every passed-on Mando'ade, and it's when these two are in tandem that they "pick" a Mand'alor. HOWEVER, such a pick is also up to the Ka'ra, the Mand'alor'e that have all marched on; to one day enter the Ka'ra themselves, a Mand'alor must be "picked" by both the People/the Manda, and the Ka'ra. Tor would be "picked" by a significant part of the People and the Manda, and so would Jaster have been, but (according to me, myself, and i, obviously), only Jaster had been chosen by the Ka'ra. Pre is "Mand'alor" only in name, only in a tenuous loyalty existing in House Vizsla and Death Watch, not even by the Manda; just simple human (et al) loyalty. Jango had a weaker "pick" from the Manda than Jaster did, but was picked by the Ka'ra, meaning if he did not declare himself dar'manda (even just internally; I don't think he's ever said it out loud), he would have joined the Ka'ra after death; if he ever reconnects with himself as a Mandalorian, I like to think he'd have that chance again. Canon Jango, though, who went on to make the clones? Absolutely not.

what does this all mean for Obi-Wan? he'd spent weeks inadvertently drumming up support in the people and therefore the Manda, and maybe most haven't really looked at him and thought "sure I'd follow him as Mand'alor", but they have looked at him and thought "that one has mandokar, that one wants what's best for Mandalore, that one is touched by destiny". I dunno, man, like. Obi-Wan is their hope before he is their leader. That will make all the difference when he does end up uniting them. His searching out Jango had made Jango finally confront that he feels dar'manda, until then he hadn't really lost the Ka'ra's support, but that severs that connection. and now the Ka'ra are without a Mand'alor, but look at that, there's a mandokar'la little idiot right there, already strong in the Manda, already rallying hope and purpose, already so invested in the nurturing and the future of Mandalore, how could the Ka'ra not choose him?

I posed the question previously whether or not Mando'ade can tell who has been chosen to be Mand'alor, and I think I've ironed out what that'll mean for this fic. non-Force sensitive Mando'ade will have this sense when near their Mand'alor, a subconscious and inherent trust in them, and indeed, some will be disturbed by this and fight it. that's alright, that's their right. Some never clock this extra sense, some are aware of it always, some just chalk it up to "gut feelings" and the like. The more spiritual or religious Mandos maybe put a little more stock in this feelings, I think especially goran'e and other spiritual leaders, but the fact that the Manda can technically pick more than one person at a time (like Tor and Jaster, and then Jango), this extra sense isn't a perfect indicator of a properly chosen Manda'lor.

now. what about Force sensitive Mando'ade? Well, the Manda is an aspect of the Force, and is in fact how said Force sensitive Mando'ade connect to the Force, by going through the Manda, first. their relationship with sensitivity is inherently different from others in the galaxy, at least those that connect to it directly. they are the ones that can sense or see if someone is chosen by the Ka'ra, depending on their sensitivity. Some see the ghostly line of previous Mand'alor'e stretched out behind them (like the Avatar cycle lmao), some see a wavering crown of stars around their head, some just sense there is a duplicity (/neutral) to their Force presence that doesn't exist in anyone else. how common is Force sensitivity in Mandalorian space? not fuckin very. Jaster had three in his entire faction of aprox. 2 million (fanon number), at least that were aware they were sensitive. Jango only had a few more, and only because he had gained a couple hundred thousand more followers before Galidraan. so i'll make the nearly-arbitrary number that Force sensitive Mandos are 1 in 1,000,000, across the entire sector. by some calculations, in the whole galaxy at around the time of the Clone Wars the number of Force sensitives is 1 in 5,000,000 but these calculations do not generally include societies and species with a near or 100% chance of Force sensitivity, because we simply don't have the data for it. does this all make Mandos slightly more likely to be Force sensitive than others, by my own numbers? sorta. which i'm making an issue of underreporting, based on Mandalore not being a part of the Republic, and also contention with the Jedi and Sith; they don't consider those Manda-touched to be Force sensitive, and with the way I've built this, they aren't exactly wrong.

for the purposes of this story, there are maybe eight Manda-touched Mando'ade in the Mandalore system at this time, and all but one are goran'e. that single non-armorer is part of the Old Guard. I have the roster for the Old Guard decided, so I'm debating whether the Manda-touched one is Cort Davin (a journeyman protector), or one of the women. Instinct wants Vhonte Tervho, but I have plans for her to be related to the goran Obi-Wan got his armour done by, who I wanted to be one of the seven Force sensitive armorers, soooo. lmao how fucked would it be if Isabet Reau is the Force sensitive one? I like the angst of that, since I definitely do not plan on redeeming her, but I kind of want the only Old Guard that can sense Obi-Wan is Chosen by the Ka'ra to be really quiet and accepting of it, while everyone else is arguing. hmmm I have an unnamed Wren as part of the Guard, that I haven't fleshed anything out for yet; perhaps them?

okay I think I've solidified what it makes a Mandalorian, at least for the function of this fic. it is tied to the Resol'nare, and following it, which does allow those who had Chosen Tor Vizsla as their Mand'alor to technically still be following the Resol'nare, and are therefore not dar'manda. at least not for that. but part of the reason the Resol'nare is even able to determine who has a Mandalorian soul, is because they believe it does. Those alive and those dead influence the functionality and reality of the Manda, which also allows for those pre-Resol'nare to still exist in the Manda. What causes someone to become dar'manda, if they are technically following the Resol'nare?

maybe it's reductive, or over-simplified, or maybe even too broad, but it makes sense to me and allows for many many different types of people to still fail, and this is obviously not the only way to become dar'manda, but one thing that will always strip someone of their Mando soul? treatment of children. caring for children. not harming children. this allows many of Death Watch to still maintain their Mando souls, but still be fucked up awful people in other ways. It allows even True Mandalorians to have lost their souls and not realised it because they otherwise adhered to the Resol'nare, because they'd chosen to interpret "defending oneself and family" and "raising your children as Mandalorians" to not include other peoeple's children. Or maybe they were abusive in the belief they were caring for their children. This would also make every single one of the Cuy'val Dar dar'manda, which I think is a fascinating concept.

to answer your question directly, no, one cannot look at someone and know they're dar'manda, even the Force/Manda sensitive ones. one will only know in death, whether or not they have a place in the Manda.

NOW what does this mean for New Mandalorians?? well, by technicality and the way I've set the Manda up, one can interpret the Resol'nare in ways that could align with New Mandos. Perhaps they interpret "armour" as more than specifically "beskar'gam", maybe they wear armourweave or other protective fabrics. Maybe they interpret "defending one's family" as putting down arms instead of raising them, in order to create a peaceful future for their children. I think there are plenty of New Mandos that technically tick off all the boxes, and believe in themselves and their fellows so much that the Manda is like "yeah sure why not, we'll make that count". I think some tenants are more easily... bent, like swearing to the duchy in place of the Mand'alor, but I think an easy one New Mandos miss, is "speak Mando'a." I think many New Mandos were all too quick to switch to Basic for everything except religious and spiritual ceremonies, and I think those already in the Manda would find that very hard to forgive. I actually get into this a little in Dha Kar'ta very soon, but for this fic, i'll have Satine not outright outlawing Mando'a, but it is socially heavily discouraged. you're not allowed to speak it in the palace unless in aforementioned ceremonies, you cannot fill out paperwork in anything but Basic, you're not allowed to use Mando'a titles (including Mand'alor), you're not allowed to teach it to your children. no outright like. punishments for speaking it in public, but if your kids are caught, there are repercussions, including investigation into how else you're raising your kids, and if you're found to be doing anything else, they can take your kids from you. not every New Mando agrees with this, of course, and go about adhering to the Resol'nare as best they can in secret, but so many do give up the language by convincing themselves it's not as important as the other tenants and, well, the duchy hasn't steered them all wrong yet, has it?

okay so on the subject of what the outside galaxy is seeing. I like the headcanon/trope/idea of like. the one thing all factions of Mandalorians agreeing on is fuck everyone else. oh, the New Mandos will emulate the Core and the Republic, but they aren't the Republic nor want to be, and this animosity extends to keeping as many internal Mandlorian issues just that: internal. no faction can keep news from leaving the system or the sector, obviously, but there also isn't a lot of interest in Mandalorian news? "oh look all the Mandos are fighting again", except that's been the standard for like. actual thousands of years. I like when fic have people outside the sector not evening knowing there are different factions, so I'll be doing that here, too, and I like the idea of non-Republic sectors having their own holonets, separate from the Republic one. so like, if Obi-Wan happens to go a little viral during his mad dash to Keldabe, that would be on the Mandalorian holonet, not the Republic one, so even if Obi-Wan was visibly still a Jedi (and he wasn't), actual news of him wouldn't reach the Mid and Inner Rims until like. possible years after it happens.

could this maybe be expedited by Sith machinations? absolutely, though I'm not sure I want to go that route, since I don't think the Sith are overmuch interested in Mandalore at this point, at least not in any hands-on capacity. I'm unclear on whether them funding Death Watch is fanon or not, but it is a headcanon I subscribe to, and I think they'd have stopped funding DW after Galidraan, to cause worse infighting and prevent DW from gaining enough power to actually restart their imperial conquering days. Palpatine has been senator for about ten years by this point, but has very little political power overall, and Demask would be looking basically anywhere but Mandalore at this point in time, both of them having written it off until they actively need something from the sector. if anyone had clocked Obi-Wan as a Jedi, this all would have gone very differently, news would have spread much further and quicker and I think undoubtedly would have reached Palpatine, but since I have Obi-Wan just... cutting ties to anything Jedi, news of him remains in-sector. is this perhaps unrealistic? maybe, but I kind of want to focus on Mandalore and not worry about galactic-wide politics for once, lmao, actually very much like Obi-Wan is doing. however, he will clock a lack of Sith interference and thinks That's Very Weird.

haven't decided how he finds Palpatine out yet, but I think it'll have to do with his Manda senses being different than his Force ones, maybe the Ka'ra even gives him a few tips or gifts to sense Sith since they've allied and fought with them so much in the past. regardless, that'll be after he's become Mand'alor and united the clans.

now to actual plot progression! Obi-Wan meets up with the Old Guard, they don't know what to make of him other than "he's kriffing weird. and young. and creepy. and probably Manda-touched." whatever other verd is Manda-touched will see him blessed by the Ka'ra, which causes them to look inwards more closely and realise they trust Obi-Wan inexplicably, which means they're blessed by the Manda and the Will of the People, too. they wonder if Obi-Wan has noticed, if any of the other Old Guard have noticed. they are one of a few that notice Obi-Wan sneaking back out while everyone is arguing.

Vhonte Tervho is another. She's at this lil summit to represent clan Tervho, tho isn't the clan head, because her ba'vodu, a Manda-touched goran, had sensed she needed to be at the summit. said ba'vodu is of course the armorer who reforged Obi-Wan's armour (need to find a name for them hmm), who had told their clan they were to cease fighting until their new Mand'alor called on them. Vhonte sees Obi-Wan, realises at the same time as everyone that he's the Kih'Manda, the Mand'ika that the entire system had been gossiping about for weeks, and she thinks of what her ba'vodu said. she looks inwards, like they had taught her to, and finds, yes, she trusts Obi-Wan, just like she used to trust Jango. And, well, her Mand'alor is obviously leaving to go do something, and she isn't going to let him go it alone.

the Manda-touched verd doesn't go with them, wanting to see what comes of this, but they already know Obi-wan is Ka'ra Chosen. they will come when he calls.

#prequel trilogy #time travel au #obi wan kenobi #star wars #crow i love the way you breakdown everyone's characters and expand on what i'm putting down #like in the two blocks of tags that i've italicised #they make me feel all warm and fuzzy that you're getting so much out of what i'm doing and also they're just a DELIGHT to read #and have informed later characterisations and changed how i've thought about stuff i've already written #mandalorans #world building #vhonte tervho #will be pulling many characters from repcom obv #but fuck karen traviss as both a person and an author so there's that heads up #also!! anyone can ask questions or comment or reply #would love to hear y'all's thoughts and ideas and i LOVE answering #this au would not exist without crow asking me all these questions. just straight up wouldn't exist #malcontent crow #still trying to figure out if i can work in luminara in a way that doesn't feel shoe-horned #several people have voted QuinObi which i am very much not against #it would be SO easy to have Quinlan just. book it to Mandalore #at first to convince Obi-Wan to COME BACK but then he sees what Obi is actually doing and realises he can't do that to Obi or to Mandalore #does Quinlan... STAY on Mandalore with him?? 👀 👀 does he accept he needs to let Obi-Wan go?#does he stay as a Jedi Shadow and help out or does he leave the Order too??#many questions many thoughts

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