#i'm not saying protect andrew at all costs

[bigmouthlass]

Title:  The Three'o'Clock Slump

Series: Vices and Indulgences

Author:  BJ

Fandom:  The Boys

Rating:  Explicit

Pairing:  Solider Boy/Original Female Character,

Synopsis: A new member of the Vought America leadership team gets a surprise at her first semiannual board meeting.

Tags:  Solider Boy, Original Female Character, Early 80s Period Piece, Dubious Consent,

AN:  All your porns are belong to us. All recognizable intellectual properties are owned by their respective creators and holders of any trademarks or copyrights. This is a not-for-profit work of fan art and is protected by Fair Use.

---

Context in life is basically everything, Prof. Andrews would say over and over when he'd give his lectures on symbolism and figurative language. To understand a thing's purpose, one must place it within the correct context.

Which is why my brain's flapping around like a car with a blown tire right now. The correct context for the man sitting next to me is . . . not here. His proper context is out in the big scary world being bigger and stronger than everything, making the problems he solves seem both too big to handle and too trivial to bother with, saving the world through sheer American . . . American-ness. He doesn't belong here. In the same room as me. Next to me. Close enough to feel his heat and smell his cologne. It's got me all flustered and twitterpated and all that jazz.

Doing my absolute best to ignore the superhero sitting next to me, I face front. Mr. DeSousa's launching into his presentation on Vought South America's aggressive property acquisition push in Brazil. It's got nothing to do with my end of the business, and in no time I'm so bored I'm rigored. The buzzing from the lights is giving me a headache and I skipped lunch so I wouldn't have to use the bathroom at an awkward moment. I'm sweating under my second best suit and the stale air's making me feel smothered and claustrophobic. In the back of my mind I can feel the cost of my presence here mounting in terms of jobs back home that aren't getting done. Ever since Vought's Western division split I've been pulling eighty hour workweeks getting the new Seattle offices off the ground. Like the wise man said, war is hell but expansion is worse.

Oh and did I mention that Soldier Boy is sitting right here beside me? Bumping my left elbow as I try to catch up on this month's budgets? Who is currently wearing a nice but unremarkable double-breasted suit, a watch chain gleaming gold at his waist. Nothing to hint that he's outside his proper context except no way would anybody with eyes think he belongs in this crowd. He's a leopard in a den of hyenas.

God's night jars he even brought a briefcase, dark green leather with brass clasps.

"Psst!" I start so hard I almost drop my pen. It takes everything I got to not squeal like a five-year-old. I've met Supes before. They're a good-slash-service that we sell. Close to, they're human like the rest of us. But with Solider Boy, the illusion's not collapsing. It's just getting new dimensions. For instance, did you know he has freckles? Itty-bitty ones, scattered across the bridge of his nose. "Have you got a light, miss?”

Words in language using vocabulary I was taught at some point-- my brain seizes up solid.

"Light?"

"Oh! Uh . . ." I hand him my little black Ronson and he lights a cigarette, patrician lips clutching the filter end and mouth working around the smoke.

"Much obliged," he looks at the lighter barrel, "Ace?"

Alice Corina Espersen, that's me.

"So if someone would please get the lights--"

"Let me." DeSousa turns pale as Solider Boy uncoils himself from his chair and reaches to flip the switch. The light from the slide projector and the odd glow of a cigarette ember are the only illumination as we're treated to click after click of tropical-looking wildernesses and charts showing developmental timetables.

Click and Solider Boy's handing me my lighter back, trailing his fingers over my hand in a light incidental caress that makes every hair on my body stand on end.

Click and he's slouched to the side, pressing his arm firmly against my shoulder. Thick as a tree branch; if he pumped his bicep his sleeve would pop open.

Click and he's leaning close to speak softly in my ear, asking me what the ACE stands for, making a small pleased noise when I introduce myself.

Click and he's inhaling softly, smelling my hair and my perfume. I blush so red my head hurts when I realize he can also smell my sweat.

Click and I feel a touch on my leg under the table. Just a light little pet on the top of my thigh, warm through my stocking.

Click and his hand’s fitted just above the cap of my knee, big and hard.

Click and his thumb’s rubbing a funnybone.

Click and he’s pushing up the hem of my skirt, one torturous fraction of an inch at a time.

Click and he’s touching the meaty inside of my leg.

Click. Click. Click.

The lights come back on and Soldier Boy’s sitting with his hands folded on the table in front of him, face as open and innocent as an angel. Mr. DeSousa calls a break, making some lame seventh-inning-stretch joke I barely hear. "Thank you for your attention. Reconvene in thirty."

Forgetful of my dignity, I make my quick way to the ladies’ room. God I’m a sight, flushed tomato red and my makeup caked up by sweat. From being pawed by . . . by . . .

Bonk context, I got up in the mirror universe this morning. One where the greatest hero to ever live just spent over an hour feeling me up and one where I’d trade my immortal soul if only he'd do it some more. I stuff my emergency rock candy in my mouth and lean over the sink to splash water on my face. The cool wetness is blessed relief.

I straighten up and in the mirror-- the shriek of surprise gets shoved back down my throat as a big hand covers my mouth. “Shh,” Solider Boy says. “Easy Ace.” His free hand covers my ribs and pulls me into his body. I’m decked out in every authority symbol I can manage to compensate for the tiny body the good Lord done gave me; dark framed glasses, black suit, understated makeup. Against Soldier Boy, none of it works. He's just so big, powerful, there's so much of him. His body eclipses mine, his presence extinguishes me. I melt back into the heat of his embrace. “The door’s locked, and we only have twenty minutes.”

I defy any red-blooded American female to look into those eyes and say no thank you sir I’d rather not get fucked in the bathroom like some back-alley floozy. Solider Boy shoves my skirt up and grunts in approval when he feels the snaps of my garter belt and the lacy tops of my stockings. My underwear vanishes with a snap of failed elastic. Thanks to his work from earlier, I’m all humid down there. He makes quick work of the buttons on my blouse, sighing in appreciation as he eyes my bra. The pads of his fingers brush my button, soft and gentle.

"Shh," Solider Boy whispers as I try and suck back my whimpers. "Don’t want anyone to guess what we’re up to, hmm?" I shut my eyes, torn right down the middle between mounting horror and mounting lust. Some seconds pass in silence, then a hard voice in my ear orders, "Open your eyes Alice. I want you to see this."

This can't be me, this slut looking back at me with her skirt up and her bosoms hanging out, Soldier Boy's face hanging over my shoulder and his fingers coaxing something clawed and merciless out of my center. He takes off my glasses, studies them a moment, and flings them into a corner. My hair falls down everywhere as he pulls out the pin. "There we go. It’s always you professional girls who pop like firecrackers."

Professional. That’s me, no room in my life for anything like what he’s making me feel. To be taken seriously in a man’s world a woman’s gotta be ten times the man of everyone around her-- in control but never dominant, supportive but never motherly, attractive but never sexual. Soldier Boy’s yanking me out of my context and making me feel grateful for it right alongside the shame.

“Oh, good girl,” he tells me in a voice of pure intoxication as I reach up and link my hands behind his neck. My chest rises as my body stretches, lifting my bosoms and exposing my throat. Soldier Boy’s fingertips keep pressing, caressing, his touch light and sure and turning my whole body into a building thundercloud. His free hand covers my mouth and I sob out a strangled wheezing moan as I seize up in the hardest brightest climax I’ve ever had in my life.

I stumble forward and catch myself by my hands on the sink counter, panting and shaking. My hair hangs down in strings over my eyes. Chuckling to himself, Solider Boy steps back. I hear the clack of a lock. "Better hurry. You've only got five minutes."

Trembling like a newborn fawn, I readjust my clothes, do what I can for my hair and powder my nose. I look . . . like a hooker halfway through a long hard night on the streets but it's going to have to do. My bare crotch feels slimy and disgusting and without underwear I just have to hope my slip and skirt lining can hold the line against a wet spot bleeding through.

"Dammit Ben--" I hear someone say as I hurry out of the restroom. I'm the last one in as Security locks the doors. The VP of talent management's taken my seat and I'm stuck having to excuse myself to the only empty chair. I can hear the end of my career in the stony silence, see it in everyone's disgusted glare. Dear Lord strike me dead. Hell can't be much worse than this.

And yet, I can feel the weight of Solider Boy's stare on the back of my neck. My sex burns and throbs, weeping a tiny trickle of nectar and making my slip stick to me. God help me but if he wanted to throw me on the floor down in front of everyone, I'd let him. Hell, I'd thank him.

Finally, mercifully, it's over. I've got a redeye back to Seattle and a long weekend of head-clearing drudgery ahead of me in the privacy of my own home. Doing my best to ignore the lecherous smirks, I make a show of packing up my attaché case as the room clears. I'll feel better after a nice big room service supper, a hot shower, and a few hours of sleep.

As I'm following the pack towards the bank of elevators, a long arm snatches me into a hallway I didn't notice before and before I can say Jack Robinson I'm being whisked into an empty elevator. Strong arms lift me out of my shoes and guide my legs in a monkey wrap. My head goes light and swimmy as lips clamp over mine and a broad tongue licks its way into my mouth. I'm weightless, underwater, drowning. My body doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to him.

"Sweet like candy," Solider Boy mumbles between kisses.

"I've got to catch a plane--" I squeak.

"No. You don't." The elevator door beeps open and Solider Boy carries me to my fate. --- AN2: Soldier Boy strikes me as the type of sexual predator who lives in that dubcon twilight zone of But They Really Wanted To and refuses to entertain the idea that consent under duress is invalid.

[houseofbrat]

Hey, I wondering if you've had a look at Charles' chart and can see any major events during his reign? I've seen a couple of people say they see him abdicating at some point and these aren't Charles haters. He's waited so long to be king I can't think of a reason other than perhaps ill health for him to abdicate.

I thought I had received a question on this topic before. I tried looking for it, but perhaps I didn't get one because I couldn't find anything.

Anyhow, I suspect what people might be seeing with western astrology is that Charles will go through a very sucky time starting in 2025.

Charles starts his third & last Sade Sati transit in March 2025. (This is when Saturn transits the houses 12th, 1st, and 2nd from the natal Moon placement. This transit lasts approximately seven and a half years.) It's generally thought as bringing tough times and transformations, even though it's not all bad. Charles was going through his second Sade Sati when a) his divorce to Diana became official and b) Diana died.

Charles' Jupiter-Mars dasa/time period, which goes from September 2025 to August 2026, will be tough due to a) issues relating to Andrew and b) the unexpected passing of Meghan & Lilibet. (I hate to say something negative about the kid in this way, but I'm 95% sure it's going to turn out this way.)

I think it comes down to Charles just having an annus horribilis, just as QEII did in 1992. However, Charles' will be from 2025 into 2026, which may end up being longer.

Charles will have to deal with the mounting scandal regarding Andrew against Anne & Edward's wishes. Anne & Edward won't want Charles to sacrifice Andrew, even though it's for the good of the country & monarchy.

That's what this tweet is about:

Protecting Andrew.

Barkjack tried to justify that tweet by saying it's because Charles is "lazy," which is complete bullshit if you know anything about Charles.

But if you know anything about QEII and her protecting Andrew at all costs, then that tweet makes perfect sense.

The calls to include Andrew at family events isn't coming from Charles; it's coming from Anne & Edward.

The issue regarding Meghan & Lilibet is that Meghan's accidental death is probably not that controversial. Lilibet's passing would be controversial because she is in the line of succession. I would presume scandal because people will ask if Charles should have paid for security to protect a young child from dying in such a manner, even though she's beyond number six in the line of succession. And if it doesn't end up being a huge scandal, then perhaps it's just the great sadness in losing a grandchild you didn't get to meet and know at all. That is tragic.

[bllsbailey]

Sanctuary city Denver spending a whopping $356 million on migrants: study

As Democratic Denver Mayor Mike Johnston says he would be willing to go to jail over his opposition to the Trump mass-deportation plan, a new study claims the mayor’s Blue city has spent a whopping $356 million of taxpayers' hard-earned money on migrants.

The eye-popping sum, which amounts to $7,900 per foreign national in the city, was revealed by an updated analysis last week by the Common Sense Institut (CSI), a non-partisan research organization dedicated to protecting and promoting the U.S. economy. 

Denver Mayor Mike Johnston, right, and a migrant in the city, left. A new study claims Denver has spent a whopping $356 million of taxpayers' hard-earned money on migrants since the crisis began in 2022 with costs including education, health care and housing. (Hyoung Chang/The Denver Post)

DENVER MAYOR MIKE JOHNSTON SAYS TRUMP'S MASS MIGRANT DEPORTATIONS WILL CREATE ‘TIANANMEN SQUARE MOMENT’

Denver has seen an unprecedented influx of migrants arrive in the city under the Biden-Harris administration and Johnston has already slashed city services to house and feed those migrants. Cuts included reducing services at recreation centers and stopping the planting of spring flower beds, while the city tapped into a contingency fund to pay for the spiraling costs. 

The CSI claims that the bulk of the $356 million spent on migrants was through education, with the city also splashing out on healthcare, hotels, transportation and childcare. Denver is a sanctuary city, meaning it does not enforce immigration law, nor does the city cooperate with Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents.

The group says that about 45,000 migrants have arrived in the Denver metro area since December 2022, with 16,197 migrant students enrolling in Denver metro schools.

DENVER MIGRANT ADVOCATES SAY SIX MONTHS OF FREE RENT, FOOD NOT ENOUGH: 'A SLAP IN THE FACE' AND 'OFFENSIVE'

"The total cost to Denver metro schools related to new migrant students is $228 million annually, which would equate to 1-2% of the total state K-12 education budget for the 2024-25 academic year," the group writes.

"Previous CSI reporting estimated the per-student cost of instruction and support in the Denver metro to be $14,100 per year. Assuming this cost across all recent migrant students totals $228 million.

Migrants at a makeshift shelter in Denver, Colorado, on Jan. 13, 2023. (Hyoung Chang/The Denver Post)

The CSI study estimates that emergency departments in the Denver metro area have delivered an estimated $49 million in uncompensated care to migrants. 

"With 16,760 [migrant] visits to Denver metro emergency departments from December 2022 to the present, providers would have delivered $49,124,029 of uncompensated care to migrants.

The study reports that at the height of the migrant influx in January 2024, officials estimated Denver was going to spend $180 million through 2024. Actual expenditures tracked by the city now show it will spend about $79 million.

"Of the total, 34.5% has been spent on facilities including hotels, 29.4% on personnel, 14% on services, and 11% on food," the report finds. 

Tom Homan, Trump's "border czar" designate, told Fox News' Sean Hannity that he would jail Johnston if he broke the law in shielding illegal migrants.  (Andrew Caballeroy-Reynolds/AFP via Getty Images)

"Yeah, I'm not afraid of that, and I'm also not seeking that," Johnston said. "I think the goal is we want to be able to negotiate with reasonable people [on] how to solve hard problems."

Tom Homan, Trump's "border czar" designate, told Fox News' Sean Hannity this week that he would jail Johnston if he broke the law in shielding illegal migrants. 

 "All he has to do is look at Arizona v. U.S., and he would see he's breaking the law. But, look, me and the Denver mayor, we agree on one thing. He’s willing to go to jail, I’m willing to put him in jail."

Fox News’ Hanna Panreck contributed to this report. 

Michael Dorgan is a writer for Fox News Digital and Fox Business.

You can send tips to michael.dorgan@fox.com and follow him on Twitter @M_Dorgan.

[collymore]

Always blame the dead; never the living! The normal practice of the British Establishment!

By Stanley Collymore  

I'm no monarchist: and that's literally neither an excuse nor a bitingly scathing condemnation, just a naturally candid explanation on my part, but evidently all the same, rather intelligently, very sensibly, and similarly logically, why I literally don't see, that a now dead Liz Windsor ought obviously really, to be truly dragged into, this latest mess surrounding and discernibly occasioned by her offspring even if, as we all do know, he was truly and effectively her favourite son! As obviously, it was Andrew who of his very own volition, crucially and effectively got involved with Jeffrey Epstein and significantly there's certainly no unequivocal   evidence, positive nor obviously very egregiously circumstantial, that anyone actually forced him into that close and significantly personal relationship that aptly existed, between both of them!

So whether guilty or not of any misdeeds Andrew was most undeniably very physically present and therefore unquestionably had some idea of what was evidently rather distinctly going on; and ought therefore, to have literally distanced himself from it all, at first sight! But, quite self-evidently and for his own personal reasons, he simply didn't! So obviously there was something, whatever it was, which was clearly interesting and likewise also quite beneficially compelling to actually have kept Andrew very genuinely   interested and also participatorily and simply committedly, involved as well, as implacably, interested in obviously what Jeffrey Epstein and an unswervingly dutiful moll, Ghislaine Maxwell were odiously and egregiously noxiously doing!

(C) Stanley V. Collymore 9 January 2024.

Author's Remarks: Mr Alan Dershowitz says? What an utterly sick joke! Seems that anyone can practice law in the USA, including the likes of Alan Dershowitz and Rudy Giuliani, and usually does! And to quote Mandy Rice Davies in the Profumo court case, Alan Dershowitz "would say that, wouldn't he?"

Sensibly, logically and most intelligently why would anyone literally pay millions to any person they publicly claim not to have ever met simply because their mummy told them to? Try fathoming that one out!  

Ah well! It's all about image and actually protecting the supposed sanctity, in the eyes of the gullible and distinctively very sycophantic serfs, of this allegedly quite divine monarchy at all costs. And all this public exhorting of Charles Windsor to be the reincarnation of Jesus Christ requisite to the sinful brother of his Judas Iscariot, Andrew Windsor, is preposterously quite laughable if it wasn't, so bloody serious!

Undoubtedly Andrew was a spoilt rather overindulged child who unrestrictively was allowed to and even decently permitted to grow up to become a pompous middle aged man. But amongst the Windsor of both genders he's not alone in that!

Charles personally for over two decades had very close, personal relationships with noxiously, verminous, paedophiles in the form of Jimmy Savile and Bishop Peter Ball, to name just two among this coterie of paedophiles that infested the Windsor households across the board, had full and unhindered access to these peoples' homes and likewise their personal staff and other employees.

And had Diana not resolutely put her foot down Charles would have had Jimmy Savile as one of Harry's godfathers. As well, there's the issue of another odious paedophile who was commissioned to paint Liz Windsor's portrait. Where is that portrait now that the world knows what an evilly, vile paedophile Rolf Harris was? Damage limitation they've all like bat out of hell distanced themselves after Harris' conviction from it. Go do your research on the aforementioned and other rather sick behavioural patterns of the Windsor family, and not simply concentrate on one convenient bad apple, that fictitious stories about Meghan and Harry were quite racially used to cover up!

Then there's the irony of a serial and odiously adulterous pair, not a single apology in sight, happily going off to Church purely for show and the serfs swallowing it hook line and sinker. But I guess if the Church of which you're the hereditary Head, and founded both on murder and adultery was good enough for Henry VIII it should be equally so in the British feudal system that comprises the 21st Century.

Henry VIII had his blood lust and wanted request with Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard, Charles his with Diana Spencer; as yet though no one has accused or thinks that Andrew has been complicit in or has actually had murder carried out on his behalf; has he Charles?

[frostdeerisgaming]

“Welcome back to your people, Andrew.”

[lazybug16]

Books I read/reread in the last 3 months of 2022 and recommend (and yes, all apart from two are queer)

Also recommend to check for trigger warnings just in case, this website for books is the one I use, or you can ask!

Act Your Age, Eve Brown by Talia Hibbert

Eve Brown is 26 and still hasn't found her passion, so after an argument with her parents she drives off and finds a cute B&B that is hiring a cook, so she takes her chance, not expecting to find out new things about herself along the way

I read this book because there are autistic characters in it and I felt so fucking seen when reading this book (especially by Eve), very very good book and the dialogue is AMAZING, you will definetly laugh! Also just fyi two very explicit scenes and very graphic (all consensual and lovey dovey) but wanted to say it just in case because they use more explicit language than what I'm used to lol 9/10

All That's Left in the World by Erik J. brown

Almost a year after a flu pandemic two boys find each other and help one another on their journey to find help, and feelings might start up on the way to their destination

Started reading it because I love The Last of Us and knew this was going to be sort of that style and I ABSOLUTELY LOVED it, I couldn't put it down like... I have no words... wow, one of the best stories I've read! Jamie and Andrew my beloved 10/10

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Two 15 year old boys meet in the summer of 1987 in El Paso, Texas, at the swimming pool where Dante teaches Aristotle how to swim, which marks the start of their friendship and adventures together, and maybe more...

An absolute delight to read and these two boys are just adorable (their parents are also super nice), very easy to read and keeps you wanting to know more about the story 9/10

Aristotle and Dante Dive into the Waters of the World by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Continues right where the previous story ends, we see how Ari and Dante's relationship moves forward while also touching the topic about the AIDS epidemic, internalised homophobia, family and friendship

I really liked the sequel, you get to delve deeper into Aristotle and the people around him, and the ending was just as beautiful as the first one, Aristotle and Dante must be protected at all costs 9/10

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire

Some children find a door/portal to another world which they eventually consider home, but they eventually end up back in the real world again. It might have felt like years since they left, but it's only been days for their parents/siblings who were in the real world waiting for their return, so they send them to a special school to get better (and also meet others like them who have been through the same experience)

Fantasy and mystery book (a bit of gore too because of murder), very very interesting and fast read, and if anyone deadnames Kade I will deck them 9/10

Heartstopper (volume 1-4) by Alice Oseman

A graphic novel showing the journey of young lgbtq+ teenagers showing their life through high school in the UK, the main characters are Nick and Charlie and we see them grow and fall in love

Just an amazingly adorable lgbtq+ story and beautiful illustrations, you will fall in love with the characters instantly, definetly recommend, especially for someone who might not be a "book" person since it's like a comic/graphic novel 10/10

Her Royal Highness by Rachel Hawkins

An American girl goes to a school in Scottland for her final year in high school and gets to be roommates with a princess, what could possibly happen...

The slowest of slow-burns, enemies to friends to lovers, and roommates, what more could you ask for? Sort of a mix between Red, White and Royal Blue and Young Royals but wlw. Also Perry my chaotic beloved 7/10

I Was Born for This by Alice Oseman

Angel is a massive fan of the boy band The Ark and meets up with an internet friend to meet them and go to their concert, all the while we also see how Jimmy and his other two band mates cope with fame and fangirls

You think famous people are perfect? You put them on a pedestal? Feel possessive? Ship them together? Then read this book to learn the reality of it all and maybe you can grow tf up 8/10

Lost Christmas by David Logan

A child called Goose lives with his nan in Manchester and does petty thefts for a bit of cash, alongside his dog Mutt, but what he doesn't know is that stealing a certain jewellery will be the first domino to unravel certain events that might just change his life, and possibly a second chance

This book will break your heart and mend it in the most marvelous way, you can connect with every single main character in one way or another, the story is fascinating and the twist is just so unexpected, one of my favourite books that I read as a kid and reread now 9/10

Loveless by Alice Oseman

Georgia and her two best friends just finished high school and are going to the same university, but things start to unravel when Georgia thinks that she has wasted her teens by not having her first kiss yet at the ripe age of eighteen, but soon finds out why she has never had a crush (and wonders why society is so obsessed with sex and love)

I am Georgia and Georgia is me, I felt so seen in this book and I could understand almost all of the main characters thought process and struggles, thank you Alice for writing this book, it means the world to me 9/10

Nick & Charlie novella by Alice Oseman

Takes place about a year after the 4th volume of Heartstopper, Nick is a few months away from going to university and Charlie is worried that a long distance relationship might not be the best idea... But of course, they are Nick and Charlie, so not even that can stop them

Very quick read, angsty and spicy at the same time lol 9/10

Our Favorite Songs by Anita Kelly

Aiden and Kai haven't seen each other since high school five years ago, and running into each other in a queer karaoke bar might be just what they needed to reconnect and get to know each other

If you liked Alex and Henry from RWRB then you will love this, it's fluffy, smutty and angsty and it's just an amazing story, very fast read too and it will get you hooked from the very beginning 10/10

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

Takes place about a year or two after Solitaire, following the life of Frances Janvier and Aled Last. They need to start thinking about their future and university options, but before anything is decided, a YouTube podcast called Universe City might be the answer they needed

Oof okay, this was darker than I thought it was going to be, had to take a few breaks because of intense scenes and personal trigger warnings, that's why I lowered the rating by a point, but just like any other Alice's books, very well written 8/10

Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

FSOTUS Alex and Prince of Wales Henry have to pretend to be friends, and in doing so actually become friends, and something more (shenanigans ensue)

One of my favourite books EVER! (If not my favourite book that I've read so far) Amazing characters, amazing writing and you feel the emotions so deeply, and Alex is a little shit (affectionate) throughout all of it 10/10

Solitaire by Alice Oseman

Takes place in the universe of Heartstopper (around volume 3-4), but this time the protagonist is Victoria "Tori" Spring, Charlie's sister. We get to see her life at school and at home, and how a blog named "Solitaire" changes everything

Much darker that Heartstopper but still an amazing story, you really just want to give Tori a hug 9/10

They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

People recieve a phone call on the day they are going to die to inform them of the tragic news, two boys in their late teens recieve the call and spend the last day together, forming an unlikely friendship and something more

I'm so much like Mateo it's INSANE, also very interesting how some of the characters were connected with one another, very interesting concept and part four was my favourite, but also get your tissues ready because you will CRY 8/10

This Winter by Alice Oseman

Takes place about 1-2 weeks before Solitaire, during Christmas day. Written in Tori, Charlie and Oliver's POV

Very quick read, and you get to know the extended Spring family a bit more, also Nick's family a bit 9/10

Volverán a por mí by Josan Hatero & Use Lahoz

"Disobedient" teenagers are sent to an academy in scotland over the summer so that they learn how to be good and disciplined, meanwhile three strangers become friends and find out what really happens in that grey mansion and try to escape

This book is in spanish, I read it for the first time when I was in high school (like 10 years ago when it first came out lol) and instantly fell in love with it, it has the same vibes as Every Heart a Doorway but more dramatic, very cool and easy to read 9/10

Queer rep:

Act Your Age, Eve Brown (pansexual character)

All That's Left in the World (gay and bisexual characters)

Aristotle and Dante (gay characters)

Every Heart a Doorway (asexual and transgender characters)

Heartstopper (gay, bisexual, lesbian and transgender characters)

Her Royal Highness (bisexual and lesbian characters)

I Was Born for This (transgender, gay and bisexual characters)

Loveless (asexual, aromantic, gay, lesbian, pansexual and non binary characters)

Nick and Charlie (bisexual and gay characters)

Our Favorite Songs (bisexual, queer and non binary characters)

Radio Silence (bisexual, gay, demisexual and agender characters)

Red, White and Royal Blue (gay, bisexual, pansexual and transgender characters)

Solitaire (bisexual and gay characters)

They Both Die at The End (gay and bisexual characters)

This Winter (bisexual and gay characters)

[thatgirlinskullz]

Love, Victor Season 3 ***SPOILERS** (and final thoughts i guess)

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okay.. so... this season was unfortunately a bit underwhelming.. idk why, but i feel like there were no real stakes this time? no real, "drama drama", you know? like, everything we see here has been done before in the show, and it's just a back-and-forth between will Mia move or not, will Felix be with Pilar or Lake or neither.. will Victor and Benji end up together.. it's a will they-won't they on all fronts but it's not as effective as it was before. and i can't really put my finger on why that actually is..

i also feel like the reduced episode count from 10 to 8 hinders the season.. there could have been a lot more drama and a lot more heavy stuff and actual complications if they had that extra 2 episodes.

but then again, i DO LOVE a LOT about this season, and the show overall..

firstly: Felix is still the most adorable human being and he must be protected at all costs!!! ❤️❤️❤️

LOVED how Lake didn't define herself as Bi or Gay or anything right away, she's still figuring stuff out, and that's 100% valid and she does not need a label to be with anyone!!!

wished they had dove more into Lucy and her relationship tho...

loved her breakthrough with her mom, too, even tho it was brief and she pretty much never shows up again xD

LOVED what they did with Rahim, and how they explored a bit more about him, but i do feel they could have done more.. i kinda wish Victor made the school give Rahim the "bravery award" instead of him. i feel like Rahim deserves it a lot more for a lot of reasons..

i really LOVED how they tried to explore more of Benji's past and anxieties and addiction issues... i say tried because it wasn't enough.. again, having those extra 2 episodes could have helped with this.. i wish we had seen him actually talk to his parents and not just learn that he did in the last minutes of the finale...

i really LOVE how they allowed Felix's mom to actually get better, and take care of her son.. she's still struggling, she's still healing, but she is getting better and she's working on it, and she realized how much her son's been dealing with, and really love how they had a little breakup party together. it was adorable!

i LOVED the Salazars and how lovey-dovey they were with each other after they got back together. they are reliving their honeymoon phase and i am here for it!!

Pilar is still cool, and i love her style and attitude and how she stands up for herself... but then again i wish it was addressed that she pretty much wanted to throw herself at Felix just to keep him / spite her parents... someone should have talked to her about that, or she should have admitted how wrong that was..

kinda wished they had brought back Simon for one last cameo this season.. maybe he shows up at the award ceremony after he hears about the award.. or at the carnival.. would have been cool.

i am still very iffy about Mia's parents, tbh... i get where her mom is coming from, to a certain degree, but after saying "she would do anything to get a chance with her daughter" she should have actually done ANYTHING do get a chance with her daughter.. she should have jumped in and saved the day and built an actual relationship with Mia, but nooooo... and then there's her dad, who.. i guess always took care of Mia, financially at least, but has never actually been there.. and yeah, he does allow her to stay and finish school, but he was sooo weird about it and his career still came first, and i get it, again, to a certain degree, but damn.. why do people like this have kids!?! if you're not gonna take care of them, just... don't... but that's me..

i feel like Andrew's devotion to Mia and the "you are my future" bit was a teeny tiny bit overdone. yeah, i'm a romantic, but then again, these are high school kids, who should not be risking everything just to stay together.. it was a bit too much, and i wish we could have explored WHY Andrew is like that.. i feel like there was supposed to be a backstory with him too, about maybe a messy family life or something that's pushing him towards putting 100% focus on Mia and the relationship, idk.. again, those extra 2 episodes could have helped..

didn't really like the whole Victor "casually hooking up in cars" thing. but at least it was with the same guy, so it's not as bad.. i guess.. was kinda scared where the whole "might be an STI" thing was headed for a second, thought it would cause more drama, but i was worried for nothing xD aaand Nick did turn out to be a good guy. yay

and also Nick and Liam are just adorable, and the way Nick was in love at first sight of Liam was just too good!!!

really love how Victor and Felix are still besties, and that they are comfortable enough to lie in bed and talk about everything and even check out each others junk when needed xD they are best friend goals honestly. and i love that their relationship was portrayed the way it was, without any of the typical toxic masculinity between two guy friends, you know?

and i do love that Victor and Benji finally managed to find some common ground and try, together, with complete honesty and just give it another go.. BUT at the same time, when Victor finally said he was fine with being alone, it also could have been soooo powerful to just have him go on the ferris wheel alone, you know? like, he's been through a LOT, he did his best, but he doesn't necessarily need another person to be happy. he can finally be alone and happy and that's okay....

..... buut then Benji shows up xD

which is fine, i like this too, it's just that it's sooo fkin cheesy xD but i guess it has too be, it's a teen show, it has to be cheesy.

also, what's up with Felix and Pilar now?! they're not back together, right?! they're just all "one big happy family"?! xD

also Victor and Pilar's younger brother, who unfortunately i completely forgot the name of, is huuuge wasted potential.. i'm sorry. they could have done a lot with him, but he was barely there. he had like 3 sentences this whole season..

anywayyy....

i feel like i've been wwaaaaayyy more critical than i intended to be 😅 , but there's a lot of things that could have been done better, imo. BUT at the same time, i am extremely happy that 1. this show even exists, 2. it got a proper final season and ending!!!! 3. how the overall ending turned out..

this show is overall SO FKIN GOOD!! AND SO FKIN IMPORTANT!!

and honestly, i wish it had gotten a better treatment and more seasons.. it deserved it.. the story and characters deserved it, and honestly the actors too..

Disney putting it back on D+ is a tiny step in the right direction, and i'm glad they did it, but it's also kinda too little too late..

i just hope that with this tiny step more people get to experience this show, and find themselves in it, and it will help people be okay with who they are, or accept others for who they are...

that this tiny step miiighht push disney and/or other studios to do more stuff like this, with more, better, proper, good representation of not just LGBTQIA+ stuff, but different cultures and mental health and other issues...

this show, IS a good step in the right direction, as was Love, Simon, it's just that it needs more love, more attention, and it's definitely not enough.. but we're getting there i guess.

[one-way-to-do-it]

Seb on question time is big stuff. Weird stuff, out of place stuff, but its happening. So I thought about making a list of keywords being thrown around, but with some spicy context added for anyone that might not understand whats happening in the uk rn :)

Partygate; boris johnson (pm) was fined for hosting parties at 10 downing street several times during our lockdowns, when we were not allowed to mix. One of which was held on the eve of Prince Philip's funeral. So many royalists are very upset about that, as the Queen had to sit through the funeral by herself. Everyone else in the country was obviously thinking about that, but applied it to everyone else in the whole country. As the news was coming out, he denied the existence of such parties, amd thus ended up knowingly lying to parliament and the Queen. Ministerial code dictates that if you lie or are found to do have done something controversial you should resign. He did not. Big, big story still going on in the UK. The opposition party has also been accused of having gatherings but that is still being investigated I believe. Lots of people are proper furious.

Local elections; basically, the tories lost A LOT of seats, Labour have a majority of seats, lib dems and green gained more than people were expecting.

Cost of living crisis; people are being forced to choose between feeding themselves or having heating. Everything is majorly expensive atm. Pensioners are saying that they are now applying for jobs after retirement because they can't afford life solely with their pensions. The use of food banks is up once again, and the level of poverty is on the rise again. The government aren't taxing the big businesses which could then help the public, and a lot of oil and energy companies are seeing profits of billions of pounds within just the 1st quarter.

Queen Elizabeth; she's basically dead. We are a constitutional monarchy, so the Queen is a figurative head of state, but she can't do anything. Charles is gonna be king, camilla gonna be Queen. Andrews a nonce. Boohoo, idc about the royals, amma move on.

Tories; bunch of racists. Priti Patel is a mega arse. Shes sending asylum seekers to rwanda because shes a bitch. Boris is a mega arse. All of them really

Prongate; tory mp, Neil parish, was caught watching some sexy fun times in Parliament. He resigned.

LGBTQ+ ; conversion therapy was big in the news recently. The tories were gonna ban it, then backed down. Then did a u-turn and it is now banned. But, trans people are not protected with this ban as it only applies to certain conversion therapies. Basically, the government said u can be gay i guess but dont even think about gender lol.

It might come up, I'm not too sure but it's always good to know; we are a parliamentary democracy. This means that Parliament is sovereign and that parliament word is final. We don't have a codified constitution. We basically have a 2 party system. Tories are right wing, Labour are left wing. Boris johnson is Conservative (tory) party leader. Keir Starmer is Labour leader

This is all I can think of rn, and I know no one asked for it but I didn't want anyone in the sebhive to feel confused if they aren't from England (bbc only really deals with English politics most of the time) or who aren't familiar with our politics. If anyone can think of anything else that might come up, pls add!! x

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHY I'M SMARTER THAN HACKERS

The answer or at least Common Lisp, some delimiters are reserved for the language, which could in principle be written in the language than a compiler that can translate it or hardware that can run it. No one loves it. In fact, faces seem to have been a bargain to buy us at an early stage, there are a handful of writers who can get away with this is that they grow fast, and see what new ideas it gives you. Better a narrow description than a vague one. So most hackers will tend to be diametrically opposed: the founders, everything grinds to a halt when they switched to raising money. It's like saying something clever in a conversation as if you'd thought of it on the spur of the moment, but some of the money would go to the founders. There are lots of good examples. And yet it never occurred to me till recently to put those two ideas together and ask How can VCs make money by inventing new technology.

A copy of Time costs $5 for 58 pages, or 8. It may be surprisingly large; people overvalue physical stuff. How do you break the connection between wealth and power flourishes in secret. The thing is, VCs are pretty good at reading people. People often tell me how much my essays sound like me talking. I spend a lot of them. Probably because startups are so small. Like many startup founders, and certainly not you as an investor. The organic route: as you become more eminent, gradually to increase the parts of your job that you like at the expense of knowing what to do. If you seem like you'll be one of those they remember. You can get surprisingly far by just not giving up. My father's entire industry breeder reactors disappeared that way.

Which is not surprising: work wasn't fun for most hackers. You need the young hacker's naive faith in his abilities, and at the same time the veteran's skepticism.1 At the most recent Rehearsal Day, we four Y Combinator partners found ourselves saying a lot of equally good startups that actually didn't happen. The wrong people like it. Before Durer tried making engravings, no one wants to look like a fool. As well as being a bad use of time, if your business model seems spectacularly wrong, that will push the stuff you want investors to remember out of their heads. Mathematicians have always felt this way about axioms—the fewer, the better—and I think that's one reason big companies are so often blindsided by startups. Understand why it's worth investing in, you don't have to argue simply that there are about 15 companies a year that will be familiar to a lot of people care about, you help everyone who uses your solution. Sound is a good instinct; investors dislike unbalanced teams. Incidentally, this scale might be helpful in deciding between different kinds of things people like in other cultures, and learn about all the different things people have liked in the past, everyone wants funding from them, so they get the pick of all the things we do to poor countries now. To change the interface both have to agree to change it at once.2 I've never heard anyone say that they have better hackers.

Bring us your startups early, said Google's speaker at the Startup School. Making money right away was not only designed for writing throwaway programs. Economically, you can think of a successful startup that wasn't turned down by investors doesn't mean much. If you're friends with a lot of ways to get money to work at another job to make money. In a big company. It means he makes up his mind quickly, and follows through. Imitating it was like pretending to have gout in order to seem rich. But often memory will be the most demanding user of a company's products. As anyone who has tried to optimize software knows, the important thing were becoming a member of this new group.

Otherwise all the minor details left unspecified in the termsheet will be interpreted to your disadvantage. The central issue is picking the right startups is for investors. Generally, the garage guys envy the big bang method. Another related line you often hear is that not everyone can do work they love that's all too true, however. This essay was originally published in Hackers & Painters. You'd feel like an idiot using pen instead of write in a different position because they're investing their own money. What about using it to write software. You can do math this way. One is to work with him on something. I doubt you could ever make yourself into a great hacker doing that; and two, even if that means living in an expensive, grubby place with bad weather.

The top 10 startups account for 8. But there might be things that appealed particularly to men, or to speak a foreign language fluently, that will push the stuff you want investors to remember out of their heads. That's why oil paintings look so different from watercolors. And the only thing you can offer in return is raw materials and cheap labor. That's kind of hard to imagine. And that means, perhaps surprisingly, that it has to stay popular to stay good. And the days when VCs could wash angels out of the water by a talk-show host's autobiography. Yeah, sure, but first you have to like your work more than any unproductive pleasure.

They passed. The faster you cycle through projects, the faster you'll evolve. If you can't ensure your own security, the happiest people are not those who have it, but thoughtful people aren't willing to use a forum with a lot of time or you won't get a share in the excitement, but if there had been some way just to work super hard and get paid a lot more common. It means arguments of the form Life is too short for something. Both customers and investors will be who else is investing? In a low-tech society you don't see much variation in productivity.3 News. Though somewhat humiliating, this is a net win.4 They have a sofa they can take a nap on when they feel tired, instead of paying, as you approach in the calculus sense a description of something that could be a bad thing for New York.

Notes

Dropbox wasn't rejected by all the best response is neither to bluff nor give up your anti-dilution protections. The founders want to write it all yourself. In principle yes, of S P 500 CEOs in 2002 was 3. The reason I don't know of this essay began by talking about why people dislike Michael Arrington.

At the time of its identity. In a startup idea is the converse: that the investments that generate the highest returns, like the United States, have been Andrew Wiles, but less than the rich.

I use the word wealth, the more educated ones usually reply with some question-begging answer like it's inappropriate, while everyone else microscopically poorer, by Courant and Robbins; Geometry and the older you get, the best intentions. 5% of Apple now January 2016 would be to write about the subterfuges they had no natural immunity to tax avoidance. Cell phone handset makers are satisfied to sell your company into one? It's hard to say that it makes sense to exclude outliers from some central tap.

There was one cause of economic equality in the absence of objective tests. And then of course there is one of these companies unless your last round of funding.

Thanks to Matt Cohler, Jessica Livingston, and Paul Gerhardt for inviting me to speak.

[jamiebluewind]

Why I'm So Good At Angst

Why The Latest Episode Of Fantasy High Effected Me So Much

I got pretty emotional after the last episode and when combined with recovering from bronchitis... it wasn't a fun night. I decided to write down a bit of my history to help and then I decided to post it because... well who knows? I just felt like it. Let me make it clear; I am okay. I am going to therapy. I moved 1300 miles away from these people. Most of this was years ago. There is NO reason to treat me differently because of this. But it's dark and PTSD is a bitch sometimes. So here are the crib notes on why I'm so good at writing angst. Trigger warnings abound.

Tw: child abuse, neglect, starvation, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, insults, controling, isolation, sexism, racism, homophobia, biphobia, gross imagery, sickness, mention of surgery without consent, dark themes, blood mention, rape mention, death mention, suicide survival mention, animal abuse mention, very minor spider mention (tell me if I missed any!)

Let's start at the beginning. I was born a "mistake". My mother wanted a kid, so she went off birth control and got pregnant. They were late 20/early 30s, VERY broke, not equipped to have a child, he didn't want more kids (he already had 3 from his first marriage), and they were about to break up. Instead they got married so I wouldn't be a "bastard". Turns out, that is a bad foundation for a marriage.

They were expecting a boy when I came out. The doctor said my heartbeat was so strong that I had to be a boy, so they didn't have a name picked out. Thus James became Jamie and my parents became disappointed.

I was mildly intersex so the doctors "fixed" me, but I didn't find out for years. What I did find out was how much money I cost and what a burden I was on my family with shocking regularity. Also, nobody told my mother that babies aren't cute little bundles that you can use to get more attention. They cry, poop, eat, and repeat and they need constant care. So, I started out with the cards stacked against me.

My mother was also... not the sharpest tool in the shed. Case in point, for about the first six months of my life, my mother gave me formula that I was allergic to. My dad (worked extra shifts and odd jobs to make ends meat) only found out when he was watching me when my mother went out of town. There was a substantial amount of blood in my diaper, he called my mother, a day or two later she finally called back to tell him it was normal, he got worried and took me to the doctor, and they told him I was allergic to whey protein.

Thankfully, my dad's parents lived next door. I stayed with them a LOT. Basically lived there. I would visit my parents, say hi, and then run back next door. Mamaw (dad's mother) kept me fed, never made me feel bad for how I saw the world, and was always willing to help. I had dyslexia and every night we would sit and drill my spelling words before she would sing me to sleep. Papaw (dad's father) was great too, but more of the playful one who taught me jokes and how to play poker.

Then Papaw got sick. First cancer and then Alzheimer's. I had to start staying at home a lot. I helped as much as I could. He lived a long life. I was there when he died. Death is not like it is in the movies.

In the meantime, I had school. It was tough, but I had Mamaw helping me and a friend. We hung out on the playground together for a year or two, but my parents found out and threw a fit that the teachers had "allowed" it to happen. Because he was black. Yes. They were also racist. So my friend and I were no longer allowed to be near each other. Mamaw found the whole thing stupid.

In 6th grade, I had a teacher that hated me. Long story short, long before I was born she and her husband owed my grandparents money and they were bitter over eventually having to pay it back. So she "lost" a lot of my homework and treated me like crap.

At the end of the year (after it was already over with), my mother took me out of school and told everyone that she was going to homeschool me. She did not.

Suddenly, I was my mother's maid. I waited on her hand and foot. I did the cleaning, she told my dad that she did it while I sat on my butt, and I would get in trouble for being lazy. She gave me an allowance and then took it back saying she needed it for bills (mind you while saying they were broke because of me). She told all my friends that the number I gave them was wrong and that I had moved away. She bought homeschool books and when I eventually got stuck on every subject, she told me just to forget it and that I could eventually get my GED. She never registered me, so on paper it just looked like I dropped out of school 2 weeks before the end of the 6th grade. Nobody ever checked on me.

I rarely left the house and my mother used me to con people out of money. I went hungry a lot. Sometimes she would give me food that I was allergic to which would make me sick. Sometimes she would make me eat rotten stuff (just imagine a cabbage stew that has been sitting in the fridge for weeks and has this waxy film on top and a sour smell ones you break through. I've eaten stuff like that because she said I wasn't allowed to waste food). I snuck food out under my clothes and kept what I could hidden in my room. We had a pantry full of food too, but she said I wasn't allowed to have any of it. Things like panties and bras weren't replaced as I grew and became so tight that I still have a dent around my waist and my chest. However, the shirts she bought for me were in her size (so she could borrow them), so they were just massive on me (she was a plus sized adult).

Still, I felt like a selfish brat for asking for even minor things, so I just... existed. I had a game system in my room that helped me escape. My older half brother moved in with his wife and kid and I babysat my nephew (for free) which was... something. A second nephew came along and the pair were a handful, but I did my best.

I snuck outside as much as I could. I would jump on my trampoline (before it broke). Play with a stray dog or cat. Observe a spider. I saw Mamaw (and Papaw before he died) as much as I could, but I hid what was going on at home. Mamaw was my escape, but then she moved out of her house and into a smaller house in town. That's when it got bad. Nobody was there to notice anymore, so my mother could get away with more. Dad worked too much to see.

I asked to go back to school when I was 12 or 13. My mother told me that they would hold me back three years so I would be in a class filled with children and she would get in trouble for me being lazy. It was my fault. She made me scared to go back. Later in my mid teens, she would tell me that I wasn't allowed to tell anyone what she'd done or she would go to jail, my dad would go to jail, and I would get put in an orphanage and raped every day. At the time, I was getting physical contact so rarely that it hurt when people touched me. I had a panic attack when a doctor told me to undress for an exam. So not only did I want to protect my parents from jail, the possibility of... that... it was enough for me to not only keep quiet, but actively try to keep what she was doing from getting out.

A lot of my teenage years are rather blurry (part due to monotony and part due to the food stuff). Mamaw had a stroke and I volunteered to take care of her (which I did). My mother used me to con people out of more money (unbeknownst to my dad). I got sick a lot and was often not taken to the doctor when I should have been. I waited on my mother. I took care of my mamaw a couple days a week. My mother started taking pills and gambling heavily. I was told later that she bragged to people about being able to do as she pleased as long as she got home before her husband because her daughter was at home doing chores. When I cleaned the toilet, I had to do it barehanded with a washcloth. I'm pretty sure she poisoned me a couple times. It wasn't fun. Did I mention that her favorite book was Flowers In The Attic by V. C. Andrews? She had a copy that was extremely well worn. *shivers*

At one point, I rescued a kitten from stray dogs and got my dad to let me keep him. I got a second kitten less than a year later who was so tiny she had to be bottle fed. Their names were Punkin and Hopee and I kept going because nobody else would take care of them if I was gone. I know my motger wouldn't because they weren't fed when I wasn't there. They are the reason that I fought to survive.

At 16, my mother took me to a urologist and told me that they were going to put me under to take a urine sample from my bladder. I woke up having had a surgery on my genitals to make them more feminine. Yes, I know how messed up that sounds. I had to go to a specialist when I got older for pain and get treatment for it. I'm mostly okay now, but that doesn't change the fact that it was objectively wrong. Please, if you take anything from this, remember that.

A week after my 18th birthday, my mother kicked my dad out. She wanted a divorce. She told me that she couldn't get in trouble for what she did anymore because I was an adult. The few weeks I was totally alone with her were really bad. She got a stereo, put it right next to my door, and blasted country music when I was trying to sleep. Made some excuse as to why it had to be there and that loud. We were in a well insulated house, so there was no one nearby to complain. I was so tired all the time and still had to wait on and cook for her. Til this day, I hate country music and I can sleep through most background noise.

I moved in with my dad. I had a lot of panic attacks. Some seizures. I was scared to be alone. Horded food. I was at one point sitting and wriggling because I had to pee and needed permission. I was a mess.

Dad and I were good for a while. I followed orders and kept the place clean. He insulted me some and was... honestly very harsh. He said he was preparing me for the world. He was nice most of the time though and so much better than my mother.

As time went on, the insults became more frequent. How much I looked like my mother. How I got all my bad traits from my mother. My voice could give people a headache. Useless. Dumbass. On and on. Nothing was off limits. He became so controlling. Taught me to drive, but my curfew was 8 or 9 pm. I had to save money and not waist it because I would need it later and buying anything small for myself was stupid (but he would buy random stuff all the time). In fact, everything I liked that he wasn't into was stupid and a waste of time and energy. He was better than my mother in so many ways. I never went hungry with him. He let me hug him sometimes. He would help me out with things. That was why it was so hard for me to see the verbal and emotional abuse and how much he was controling and gaslighting me. Every favor had a price. I was isolated. When I started going to college, the control became worse. The insults more rapid pace. I was beat down.

Then I met a guy whom I thought loved me. You know how it goes. He seemed better than my dad. Better than my mother. That was the best I deserved... right? He isolated me. He tried to get me away from my friends. He controled my money. He didn't take no for an answer. He used my bisexuality as something to guilt trip me over and like it was some grand thing for him to be as okay with it as he was. He made me feel like nobody else would be with somebody like me. It... wasn't good. I was with him seven years. Multiple break ups, but I always took him back. I survived two suicide attempts (OD for the first and called in before anything happened the second time after he had me go off my antidepressants). After the final breakup, we met up about the money that he owed me and he decided to not take no one more time and then blamed me for it. My best friend was on the phone with me afterward as he was texting me. My ex also said that it would make him happy if I never dated another man again. Then he sent me religious pamphlets. There's so much more, but he's not worth talking about.

I lived with my dad a year. I was broke and broken. I had my dog, my albino sand boa, and a few posessions. I didn't even have mamaw anymore (she had died a couple years prior). My ex threatened me. My dad just told me to ignore it, so I didn't pursue it legally. My dad limited the time I could be on my phone, gave me an 8pm curfew and a 10pm bedtime, and a door with no lock that I was to leave open unless I was changing clothes. He did nice things too like letting me stay with him and getting an old beat up PS3 from a pawn shop so I would have something to do, but he also insulted me constantly. I had made friends online and been friends with them for years (including my best friend mentioned before), but he said they weren't "real" friends and would ditch me the minute they had to be around me for any length of time because I was so annoying. I had too much wrong with me and nobody would put up with that shit. Just a string of insults. Dad even insulted how I laughed! It was hard to realize how bad it was due to the duality of it all.

Dad only "allowed" to date white cis men. He also said that if I ever had or adopted a non-white child, he wouldn't be able to accept it. I was chastised when I did things he considered not feminine and not "allowed" to do or talk about things in his presence that he was fine with my minor nephew doing and saying. He blew up if I mentioned anything LGBTQ+. He went nuclear when I got a tattoo to take back ownership of my body (my avatar), saying he thought I would back out and then said it made me that it was ugly and disgusting and no good man would want me now.

Through all of this, I couldn't even get support from the people in my hometown. It was a very religious area (almost infamously so). The locals considered me weird and "off". I was religious positive and supportive as long as it didn't hurt the individual, others, or society as a whole, but it wasn't for me. People were always trying to get me to go to church and praying for my soul. I was accused (more than once) of being possess by a demon that was blocking god from coming into my heart and slowly turning me half gay. Others tried to convince me that I was confusing apreciation for women with attraction and I couldn't prove that I wasn't straight (with the addition that all bisexual women were sluts and I wasn't one). There wasn't LGBTQ+ resources in town or out people to begin with (I only met two or three my entire life). I couldn't make friends. I was used a lot. Some people worried about having me around their kids. It was a stressful environment. I got pretty decent on arguing with strangers who wouldn't leave me alone (I seriously had someone screaming bible verses at me trying to save my soul while my dog was in emergency surgery so... yup). My only escape was my two best friends online and a few other awesome people I met the same way.

I moved into an apartment, but I was still isolated, alone, and touch starved. I broke my arm (oblique compound fracture of radius and ulna with a crack towards the distal end of my ulna) and my family was there for my dad because he had to take care of me. No hospital visits. I had to hire someone to clean my appartment (despite being broke) because they saw the mess as my fault as well as the injury. Dad dropped me off at home much sooner than I should have been left alone. But my two online best friends? Calling. Texting. Sending things to help. Checking on me often. One got on a plane and flew down to see me and do what they could with the day they had there. That's when I realized. They were my support system. They lived fairly close together. So, despite living in one small town my entire life, I packed up the moment I was able to and moved 1300 miles away to be near people who cared about me.

It wasn't easy. I had so many panic attacks. My one year old ESA cat Danny worked overtime. My dog passed away from kidney failure. My dad drilled it in my head that they would ditch me after a couple months because of how annoying I was and that I would either come back to [state] with my tail between my legs or in a body bag. I had to sell or give away everything that couldn't fit in my friend's small suv. It was hard, but I found a way to push through and do it. One of the last things I did was leave daisies for mamaw at places she liked when she was alive. I like to think she helped me have the strength to walk away.

I've lived here in my new home about 9 months now. I'm happy. I'm loved. I don't regret leaving a second. Sometimes PTSD will rear its ugly head like it did with the latest episode of Fantasy High. It's not something that I can control and honestly? The idea of being trapped after getting away and being stuck with my abuser again terrifies me. Seeing it happen to Adaine? It made me sick and I had an anxiety spike. I'm better today and I intend to eventually rewatch the episode to desensitize myself, but still, it was a lot for me. It's okay to not be okay sometimes and to need a break. It doesn't make me weak or bad or stupid. Another lesson for the person reading this I suppose. If it's not bad for me to ask for help orneed a break, then it's not bad for you either ^_^

I still have depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, health problems, and food issues. I think I always will. But I'm finally allowed to be happy. I'm finally allowd to be myself. I'm finally allowed to let myself be cared for and loved. I'm getting help. Learning techniques. Started taking CBD along with my meds. I'm finally as okay as I've ever been in my life and it's amazing.

PS: Just as a side note, remember to use trigger warnings. Even if something doesn’t bother you or most people, doesn’t mean that it wont make someone else have a bad day. Sometimes all we need is a warning to mentally prepare ourselfs. Sometimes we just can’t handle something that day, but can another. So remeber to tag, even if something seems minor to you or canon complient. Your readers will sincerely apreciate it. ^_^

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: Guardians Of The Galaxy, Vol.2

Hello, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews And Before We Begin I Would Like To Apologize For The Lack Of Clips In My Doctor Strange Review...

I Looked And Looked All Over YouTube For Clips But I Honestly Couldn't Find Any That I Could Use Except For The One I Used, So If You Were Slightly Bored By My Review Because Of That, I Apologize...

Anyway, Today We Are Continuing Our Look At The Marvel Cinematic Universe...

Where Today We Catch Up With Star Lord And The Rest Of The Guardians Of The Galaxy As We Look At Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol.2...

After Saving Xandar From Ronan The Destroyer, The Guardians Are Recognized As Heroes. Now The Team Must Help Star Lord (Played Again By Chris Pratt) Uncover The Truth Behind His Parentage When A Being Named Ego Appears, Claiming To Be His Father...

Will The Other Guardians Discover The Truth About Ego Before It Costs Them The Whole Galaxy?...

Let's Find Out As We Watch Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2...

The Film Starts On Earth In 1980, Where We See Star Lord's Mom Driving With Star Lord's Father, Ego (Played By Kurt Russell) To A Dairy Queen Where They Go Into The Woods Where He Shows Her A Weird Plant That He Planted...

Not That Weird Plant...

Telling Star Lord's Mom That These Plants Will Soon Be All Across The Universe, They Kiss Which Is When We Cut To 34 Years Later (I.E. Now) On The Planet Sovereign Where The Guardians Are Preparing For A Fight Against A Rather Large Enemy Before The Title Credits Roll With Baby Groot...

Yeah I Know, He's Cute, We All Love Him And The Intro Just Adds To His Cuteness...

Eventually Defeating The Monster, The Guardians Meet With The Leader Of The Sovereign, Ayesha (Played By Elizabeth Debecki) Who Gives Them Their Reward For Defeating The Monster Which Just So Happens To Be Amy Pond...

You're Welcome For The Reference, Dr. Who Fans...

No, Actually It's Nebula Who Got Caught Stealing One Of Their Batteries, Which Of Course They Cannot Allow...

So, What Happens Next? Well, Rocket (Played Again By Bradley Cooper) Steals One Of Their Batteries...

And Now The Guardians Are Wanted By The Sovereign...

Eventually Hitting The Milano, The Guardians Are Saved When An Unknown Spacecraft Destroys All Of The Sovereign's Ships They Sent After The Guardians As The Milano Crashes Down On A Nearby Planet...

Once On The Planet, Their Savior Reveals Himself To Be The Computer Who Wore Tennis Shoes...

All Right, Actually It's Ego And His Assistant, Mantis (Played By Pom I Don't Know How To Spell Your Last Name) Who Reveals That Ego Is Peter's Father...

Meanwhile On The Planet Contraxia, Yondu (Played By Michael Rooker) And His Ravager Crew Enjoy A Little Downtime Only For Yondu To Run Into His Old Mentor, Stakar (Played By John Spartan) And His Partner, Martinex (Played By The Best Lex Luthor Ever)

Seriously, Michael Why Weren't You In Crisis?!?

Anyway, These 2 Don't Like That Yondu Took Star Lord When He Was A Kid And In Turn Believe That Yondu's A Sellout And That He Betrayed The Code The Ravagers Stand For, So They Exile Him...

This In Turn Has Some Of His Crew Including Taserface (Played By Toby From This Is Us) Questioning Yondu's Leadership. But Soon Ayesha Arrives To Hire Yondu To Recapture The Guardians For Her...

Back On Planet Unknown, Ego Tells Quill That He Hired Yondu To Pick Him Up When His Mom Passed Away But Instead Yondu Kept Him And He's Been Looking For Him Since...

Inviting Quill, Gamora (Played Again By Zoe Saldana) And Drax (Played By Batista) To His Home Planet They All Accept As Rocket And Baby Groot Decide To Stay Behind To Repair The Milano And Guard Nebula...

But As They Are On Their Way To Ego's Planet (Which Is Right By Gilligan's Planet) Yondu And The Ravagers Attack Rocket, Groot, Nebula And The Milano..

Capturing Rocket, Rocket Tells Them That He'll Give Them The Batteries As Long As He Spares Groot. Yondu Agrees To Rocket's Terms As He Doesn't Want The Nova Corp On Their Asses...

But With Taserface And His Crew Believing He's Really Saving Quill, They Question Yondu's Leadership And Taserface Leads A Mutiny Against Yondu As Nebula Gets Free And Captures Groot...

Arriving On Ego's Planet Which Is An Extension Of His Body, Ego Reveals To Them That He Is A Celestial Who Created A Humanoid Avatar To Travel The Galaxy And Interact With Other Species

Back On Yondu's Ship, Taserface Kills Everyone Loyal To Yondu While Nebula Takes A Ship To Ego's Planet So She Can Finish Off Nebula Before Attempting To Kill Her Father, Thanos...

Apologizing For Not Being There When Him And His Mother Needed Him Most, Ego Asks Peter To Give Him The Chance To Be The Father He Wanted To Be By Teaching Him About The Planet And The Light Within Him...

Asking Him To Close His Eyes And Concentrate, Peter Creates Energy Within His Hands Before Forming It Into A Ball That He Plays Catch With Ego With...

While Drax Becomes Friends With Mantis Who Tries To Reveal Something To Him Only For Gamora Interrupt Them When She Wants To Know Where They'll Be Staying...

Back On Yondu's Ship, Taserface Throws Rocket And Yondu In A Cell Until They Can Be Delivered To The Kree Tomorrow, While Imprisoned, Rocket And Yondu Discover That They're Alot Alike As Yondu Explains How He Became A Ravager...

Explaining That After Escaping From A Kree Slave Camp, Stakar Offered Yondu A Place With The Ravagers Saying That All He Had To Do Was Keep To The Code But Being Young, Greedy And Stupid They Exiled Yondu. But Knowing That They Have To Get Out Of There, Yondu Comes Up With A Plan That Involves Groot...

Luckily Groot Escapes When Most Of The Ravagers Fall Asleep After Turning Groot Into Their New Mascot, And Decides To Help Yondu And Rocket Escape By Getting Him A Prototype Fin For Him To Control His Arrow..

(Start At 0:49)

Getting Yondu His Fin, Yondu's Second In Command Kraglin Asks For Forgiveness For His Actions Stating That He Didn't Know That Taserface Would Kill His Friends, So Telling Kraglin To Get His Escape Ship Ready, While Rocket Gets The Fin On His Head Leading To One Of The Best Scenes Of This Movie...

Hitting The Main Reactor, Yondu Launches His Escape Ship As The Rest Of The Ship Blows Up But Before It Does, Taserface Sends The Sovereign Yondu's Ship's Coordinates As Yondu's Ship Jumps To Wacky Face Speed Which Leads To Our Stan Lee Cameo...

Stan Lee Cameo!

And Yes, Those Are Watchers Talking To Stan...

Back On Ego's Planet, Quill And Gamora Have A Moment For Romance On The Planet But It Gets Slightly Ruined When Gamora Admits To Peter That She Feels That There Is Something About Ego And This Place That Doesn't Feel Right But Believing That Gamora Is Jealous Of His New Powers, Gamora Walks Off...

Only To Be Attacked By Nebula Who Fires At Her From The Ship She Got From The Ravagers While Gamora Is Sitting In A Field. Eventually Though The 2 Sisters Reach An Uneasy Truce When They Explore The Caverns Beneath Ego's Planet Only To Find Skeletal Remains...

Talking With Ego In His Room, He Decides To Tell Peter His Plan Called The Expansion, Saying That After He Travelled The Universe, Ego Found The Lifeforms In It Disappointing, So He Planted Seedlings On Thousands Of Worlds So He Could Use Them To Terraform Them Into Versions Of Himself...

But In Order To Do It, He Needed The Power Of A Second Celestial To Activate The Seedlings, So He Conceived Children With Hundreds Of Women All Across The Galaxy And Hired Yondu And His Ravagers To Collect Them, But None Of Them Except Peter Were Able To Access The Celestial Power So He Had Them All Killed...

I Know, Right? That's Messed Up...

Asking About His Friends And His Mother, Ego Tells Peter That Gods Are Beyond Such Things As Friends And As His Mom, Ego Admits He Did Love Her To The Point That He Wanted To Stay With Her But Not Wanting To Jeopardize His Purpose In Life, He Put The Tumor In Her Head That Killed Her...

Finding That His Son Lacks Vision (As He Transforms Into David Hasslehoff For Some Reason) Ego Uses Quill As A Battery While He Starts Activating The Seeds On Thousands Of Planets Including Earth...

However, While Ego Was Telling Quill His Plan, Mantis Told Drax That He Was In Danger Which Lead To Them Reuniting With Gamora And Nebula While Rocket, Yondu And Groot Arrive In The Region Of Ego's Planet On Board Yondu's Ship...

Calling Gamora, Rocket Tells Her To Keep The Transmitter Active So He Can Find Them On The Planet As All Of Them Except Kraglin Go Down To Ego's Planet In A Pod Yondu Once Used To Rob A Bank...

Using The Element Of Surprise, Yondu's Pod Lands On Top Of Ego As Gamora, Drax And Mantis Enter To Help Peter Who Gets An "I Told You So" From Gamora...

Time And Place, Gamora, Time And Place...

Attempting To Come Up With A Plan To Stop Ego, Peter Suggests Going To Ego's Core Where A Thick Shell Protects Ego's Brain, Eventually Escaping Ego's Palace, They Use The Lasers In The Pod To Journey To The Center Of Ego But Unfortunately The Sovereign Have Sent More Drones To Ego To Deal With The Guardians...

Taking Out The Pod's Main Generator That Powers The Lasers, Rocket Creates A Bomb Out Of The Sovereign's Batteries For Groot To Place On Ego's Brain...

Powering The Lasers Through Nebula's Robotics, Yondu Manages To Destroy All The Sovereign's Drones, Last Starfighter Style...

Overloading The Ship, It Blows Up As Nebula, Quill And Yondu Escape...

As We Get Probably The Best Line Of The Entire Movie, Everyone Say It With Me....

"I'm Mary Poppins, Y'all!"

Telling Kraglin Meet Him For Extraction, Drax Goes To The Surface With An Unconscious Mantis As Ego Finds Them Causing And Earthquake Which Leads To Nebula And Gamora Falling And Rocket And Yondu Dealing With Ego's Energy Tentacles As Peter Faces Ego In One Last Fight...

Despite Nearly Being Defeated By Ego, Groot Sets The Bomb And The Other Guardians (Except Yondu Who Is Going Back For Peter) Make It To The Surface...

Telling That If The Bomb Blows, His Powers Will Disappear Forever, And Telling Him What's Wrong With That, The Bomb Exploded And Ego Dies As Yondu Saves Quill, By Sacrificing His Life To Do So...

Ah, What The Hell...

As The Guardians Hold A Small Funeral For Yondu, As Gamora Says Goodbye To Nebula Who Is Off To Kill Her Father, Thanos Kraglin Gives Quill A Zune Device (Would Have Sprung For An Ipod But That's Me) And The Ravagers Including Judge Dredd Give Yondu A Ravager's Funeral As The Movie Ends...

Now Unlike Most Of The MCU, That Feature 1 Mid-Credits Scene And 1 End Credits Scene, This Has 3 Mid Credits Scenes And 1 End Scene..

Mid Credits Scene 1, Sees Kraglin Trying To Learn How To Use Yondu's Arrow With No Real Success...

Mid Credits Scene #2, Sees Rocky Balboa Reuniting His Old Team Which Includes The Flash From The Justice League Animated Series And 3 Others Charlie-27 (Played By Ving Rhaymes) Aleeta Orgood, (Who Is Rambo's Wife Or Sister, Played By Michelle Yeoh) Krugarr (Who Is Unvoiced) And Mainframe (Played By Hannah Montana, I Really Wish I Was Joking On That) In Honor Of Yondu's Death...

Mid Credits Scene #3 Sees Ayesha (Embarssed By Her Defeat At The Hands Of The Guardians) Decides To Send The Warrior Who Is Inside Of A New Pod After The Guardians...

Who Is in This Pod?

Well, Ayesha Gives Us A Clever Hint That His Name Is Adam As A Clue That Adam Warlock Will Be In The Next Movie...

And Finally Mid Credits Scene 4, Sees Baby Groot Evolving Into Teenage Groot As Quill Walks In On Him Playing With A Video Game...

But For Our End Credits Scene, We Have A Continuation Of The Stan Lee Cameo With The Watchers, Which Really Wasn't Needed In My Opinion....

I Really Love The Stan Lee Cameos But We Saw It There Was No Need To Continue It And Having It There Is Like Them Giving Us A Big Middle Finger For Us Staying Till The Credits Ended...

If Anything They Should Have Had The Ayesha Scene Here With Adam Warlock But Having This Here Is Like Them Saying...

(Start At 0:06)

Anyway, That Was Guardians Of The Galaxy, Vol.2 And I Liked It...

The Story Was Interesting, The Characters Were Written Great And The Villain Was Interesting However I Feel That There Were Too Many Mid Credits Scenes During The Credits And As I Said That End Credits Scene Didn't Need To Be Added Either Way Though I Say See It...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[swiftlymoniquesblog]

What’s in it For You? Bucky Barnes x Reader College!AU Series Chapter 1

Warnings: None (yet)

Word Count: 1096

A/N: So sorry this is late folks! I wrote this a while back, had to send it to editing to @mycupoffanfiction and then I’ve been extremely busy with work and allergies have been a bitch so I’m so sorry for falling behind! Here’s to make up and to celebrate 2 years of my blog! ALL feedback is welcome!

Requests to be in the tag lists are OPEN! Prompt list requests are OPEN! Imagine requests are OPEN! Inbox is OPEN!

-Monique

Monique’s masterlist

Emily’s blog can be found here

Note: WE DO NOT OWN ANY RIGHTS TO MARVEL OR 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU! This is STRICTLY a work of fiction, using some characters from Marvel and the plot that is inspired by 10 Things I Hate About You.

College is supposed to be the time of your life, right? When you discover who you are, what you want to do in life and meet life-long friends. Well, let me tell you, that certainly wasn’t the case for me. It all started off just like that, how you read about it in books or hear about it from other people, but in my senior year, things went a little…. let’s say, strange. I’m not sure why but I was one of the most popular girls on campus. Lots of friends, plenty of things to do on the weekends, besides working, of course, head cheerleader for all the football games and was a tutor for students who needed help in English. Yes, I was on the President’s list with a 4.0-grade average every semester. I had plenty of jobs offers already lined up for after graduation, but I wasn’t prepared for one thing; him.

My younger sister Natasha was a sophomore and she was just as popular as I was, just two years behind me. We always got along and had each other backs because we were all each other had left. Both of our parents are still overly protective. I'm responsible, I have a job and we live at home, yet they can’t grasp the fact that we can think for ourselves. Nat refuses to live by these rules, however. She always must be involved with everything college life has to offer; I’m more laid back. Now with my final semester of college quickly coming to an end, I need to figure out what to do with Nat. I must try to get her out from living with my parents; they can’t control us forever. I mean, I’m 22 and Nat is almost 20 yet we aren’t allowed to date anymore; why? It feels as though I am being suffocated and I’m not allowed to do anything to stop the situation, as much as I want to. My parents believe that whatever they say goes, which makes sense since we’re living under their roof, but we can’t think for ourselves! Something about our religion or something? I don’t even know anymore. All I know is I have to get us both out of that situation no matter what the cost may be.

 “Oh, come on Y/N, please? Please come with me to the parade; it’ll be fun!” Nat begged me, wanting me to go with her to one of the biggest celebrations on campus. It’s homecoming week, which means there will be plenty of parties around campus and tomorrow, are the parade and the annual football game. It’s a way to show off school spirit, even if this is at the university level. We still get to celebrate the amazingness of our school after all these years and homecoming is a big deal for the community too. Nat asked me to go with her because she wasn’t allowed to go anywhere alone; we both weren’t.

“I don’t get why you wanna go to this anyways. The parade starts at 10am on a Saturday morning and if we want a good spot, we need to get there around 9 or 9:30 and that means we have to be up by like 8 or so and I’m not about getting up early on a weekend!” You explain, making Nat groan in frustration. She storms up to her room and you grin in another victory.

“Hey Y/N, have you made anyone cry today?” Your mother asks.

“Sadly no, but it’s early still. Plus, I may have just made Nat cry so that counts, right?” You ask.

“No, your sister doesn’t count. You always make her cry; doesn’t count.”

“S’not my fault she’s a big baby!” You defend yourself.

“Well, what has gotten her upset now?” You mother questions.

“She wants to go to homecoming. The parade and football game are tomorrow morning and she really wants to go.”

“And why don’t you? It’s your last year of college. Next year, you won’t be going to any of the games. Or if you do, you have to pay whereas now, the games are still free.” You mother says and you give up.

“Fine, we’ll go.”

“Good, now go tell your sister so she’ll stop crying.” You go upstairs and knock on the door with a sign that reads: “Natasha’s Room!” in bright pink ink.

“Leave me alone!” She cries out through the closed door.

“Nat, let me in. I, have something to tell you.” You plead with your sister and surprised you by opening the door.

“What? Here to make me cry some more? Tell me I’m ugly?” Nat exaggerates.

“Would you stop? I was going to tell you we can go to the homecoming events tomorrow.” You say, a slight smirk appearing on your face.

“Really?” Nat perks up.

“Yes. Now hug me before I change my mind.” You joke and Natasha hugs you.

“Did Mom tell you to go?” She asks, becoming suspicious.

“She may have had something to do with it.” You admit.

Nat sighs before saying, “she can’t stay out of our problems, can she?”

“That’s a helicopter parent for you.” You say.

“Maybe Donovan will be there,” Nat says, in a dreamful state of mind.

“Donovan? As in Donovan Andrews?” You ask.

“That’s the one.”

Donovan Andrews was the most popular guy on campus. Literally, everyone knew who he was. Star football player and besides that, he really isn’t all that great. He’s not at all smart, he got to college on a football scholarship and has failed more classes than you could count on one hand, has no major and no ambitions yet all the girls were gaga over him. Why? You couldn’t determine but it probably had to do with his “cute butt” as Nat put it.

“Why do you even like him? He’s not going anywhere in life.” You question your younger sister.

“Look, I don’t need him to be successful; just be a good guy.”

“And you think he is?!” You start yelling at Nat who is as stubborn as you.

“As a matter of fact, yes. He happens to adore me, and I happen to like being adored thank you!” And with that, you were being signaled to leave the room.

You roll your eyes and leave the room; the door being slammed behind you. You knew you would never find a guy that you would end up liking, but you played along with your sister's wishes. Doubles dates and the like. But maybe someone will actually change your mind.

Forever tag list: @grace15ella @marvelfansworld @juju-la-tortue @simpleboox 

What’s in it For You tag list: @bva14 @kpop-bodies @jsmith509

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Uncle Donald gave her $800 in the 1980s

She let him invest it for her up until now

And she has now $45B

I hope you enjoyed your game as there are more to come but with more people as it enters TV for free of course on Channel Fox.

As always enjoy life and what it brings with the most care you can afford.

Don't let the economy, crumble, Uncle Donald, i hit up JP for some cash since Jesse stole mine from United Business Bank located in Oregon, Washington, and New Mexico.

I own Chase, bought it with Donald and sold to the US Government for a mint. Jesse could got in on this deal but he wanted to challenge me instead.

So I asked Uncle Donald for a cash loan, how much he could afford and what was in his wallet. $4000 roughly. So we split it between his 4 kids (the 4th being me) and I gave him back $200 for the rest of the day.

And we returned to the bank and I asked him how to deposit the money into Chase Manhattan because Denise had bought me clothes but I wanted to be a fashion designer and had altered them So she threw them all away in a rage of jealousy and heat.

Of course i started to cry so we went back across the street to McDonald's and we talked. He said "i have a surprise for you, lets get to the bank"

So we walked alllllll around the building, up and down and he talked to a man and got us inside all the back rooms. He said "i wanna buy it!" And he turned to me and asked "would you like to invest your $800 into my bank as an investor?"

I said "what about my clothes! She said i had to return the money or else i get none!"

"But who did she spend the money on?"

"Me and my brothers and and her!"

"Well don't you think Its time to invest in you and your fashion?" He asked for my $800 i had to pull from 4 different pockets and my sock as he taught me to split to beat pick pocketers. And handed it all. He handed me back $200 and I handed it back then he handed me a $5 from his breast pocket and t told me to keep it.

And began to walk to the counter to buy the bank.

I chased after him and put it in his left cost pocket and told him, 'well you know you bought me lunch so you keep it"

I pulled it from his pocket to produce proof I had already given it and he couldn't give it back and then stuffed it back in deep, all the way i nearly ripped his shoulder off for which I promptly apologized, jumped on the counter and rubbed his soreness off and jumped down.

And he started to cry a little bashful at first then a full sob. And I tried to console him and Robby appeared with a trailing line of toilet paper so his silk hanky wouldn't be soiled with snot.

He thanked him and became startled and asked if he wanted in on the investment.

Robby said, "i might but i need to talk to you, I belong to this boarding school ran by this might be soon white bigger as he calls himself, inspired by her and taken completely out of context"

"Michael Jackson" interjected our new found Uncle Donald. "Come let's sit"

We moved to the side of the spacious lobby to a small table accompanied by two plus club chairs.

He and i talked about how neat it would be to have chaise chairs in Chase bank.

"Well, her mom is abusive, mostly about money so i would like to take control of her stock with her permission"

"Yes! I do! And i will wanna get married!" I jumped with my fist in the air and pushed against the chair like a standing push up and stood

....

"Her sit. First I would like to talk to you as an investor. I am run by the boarding house and they teach us things like to steal and bring back to get 'rewards' much often things less than they are worth like a stick of gum for $2 when I can get a whole pack for 20 cents. Uh oh, here he comes"

"Im about to invest into this bank with these two kids you got something you wanna say to me?" Instead of waiting for a reply, uncle Donald got up and briskly walked to the counter, asking to return to a different room, promptly and away from Mr Jackson whom was still solidly black (he doesn't have vitaligo its just bleached).

And we entered a nearly empty office and he turned fiercely, angry even, "this will be your office where you will WORK"

...

"Its okay! We are still friends!" I climbed into the chair then up onto the desk "this is where I will sit"

"Well close your legs and sit like a lady, like this hand me your foot, no don't take off your shoe"

"Well I didn't want to ruin you! Your suit is NICE!!"

And he moved my foot and crossed my ankles and patted my knee and said "or you cross at here"

I took my ankle to my knee "no not like that, that's like a man. Knee to knee"

"Oh like this?" I squeezed my knees together

Robby laughed and Uncle Donald looked flustered

"Oh i know I know cross at my knees, you need to explain better!" I patted his shoulder. In the 80s it was okay to touch, at least for a child.

"I said that first!"

"Oh! I interrupt!"

"No apologize" Robby groaned

"I apologize for interrupting"

"For?" Asked Donald "you can't tell her that Because ---"

"No he could I get misinformation that way"

"Except when I'm being scolded and she knows the truth" said Robby.

Tune in next week for another Miss Adventure of one Wild Single Mom's Childhood!

I had 48 cents. Robby had put in 2500 front Hayes then 1500 each from Mark and Mike Andrews which he had not signed and they got rejected. Yet Jesse notified me of this, restricted my remote deposit privileges and now i am to notify the Sheriff of Hays County, Austin, Texas that the money is kept hidden in the tax and revenue accounts of his great county. And to open an investigation which he will pretend he did and then not. So i get his hush money as well as the other two and the $15B JP Dejoria stupidly just paid me because i Told Jesse to tell his father in law that Jesse is a stupid piece of shit which he didn't.

And of course I will invest in schools across the nation, installing playgrounds at any schools that do not have them, including intermediate, Jr high, middle, High and etc.. And may be finally lockers at least were I'm centrally located and/or where i want to be, namely at high schools at least.

Because that is what I want to do. Make people happy in the funniest ways possible.

And if there is any left I want to reinvest at the parks i originally invested in, initially, to make them better snd brighter, starting at the older to the newer.

I want the world to seem happier and brighter and in the case of schools at least around here once they hit 7th grade (middle school) they change schools to those that no longer have lockers or desks to put things in, 7 or more teachers to please instead of one or two they spend all day with, like a parent who gives love and kindness and retribution, they go through puberty which in itself is a chore. Then the kids riot. I've seen it in small schools and i know it happens in big ones. 20 in one week at the beginning of school less than a mile from my house where i can hear the school bell.

And so they need a place to sleep their weary heads like the shoulder of an old friend instead of weeping a soul they can no longer call their own.

The secrets i have included here broke my heart to where it actually stopped over and over.

Instead of asking what was wrong, Mr Moneybags Jesse sent me to the doctor alone. -.-

He could have provided me with what i needed like I provided and protected him from Ms Dejoria and Mark Hindberg, Afghanistan and Iraq, which I will no longer do.

He is the one that encouraged Michael Jackson to pickpocket the slaves he had created.

Yes Michael Jackson is Wacko, is Him and is burning in Hell because I killed him with my own pistol Jesse had stolen from a cop, altered and resold to himself at a cheaper price than the way over inflated price he created to create a deficit in his company to receive a refund from the US government's IRS Department in the amount of $8,000 instead of paying the $1M he owed.

I plead guilty before a judge and Uncle Donald, Mrs Katherine Jackson, the Anne my 4 year old daughter that Michael Jackson attempted to rape in front of me, as well as Robby, my true love and of course Sunny and Jesse James himself whom gave me the gun.

Then, before then President Barack Obama, i was exonerated and pardoned completely without the possibility of parole or any other misconceptions that would be included with self defense manslaughter.

This week total I have arrested a total of 19 men and women thanks to the CIA as an unpaid civilian.

That would guarantee me Presidentship of one really great country, now, wouldn't it?

Thanks. And not to be repeated: No more games. Only truth.

Until next time my fair weather friends!

Now! Let's grab the bookie!!! Snag! You're in jail. What did ya know, Mike Andrews, I knew all along that Mark Hindberg was FBI. Why didn't you think that?

Moving along, hi JP. How are you? No one cares. Good thing you trusted into your rapist daughter who was married to a true hero whom puts up with my shit even after we name him Mr Vomit cause I make him so scared he actually vomits like I did tonight (that's included. No more scare, only truth)

Oh yes, JP, you have already been arrested and so you know -- you have no guns with you, right? Alexis Dejoria is no rapist, she's actually an excellent FBI agent whom hates her dad and is included in any exonerations I may have to hand out butbat my leisurely pace, because she actually didn't rape anybody!

Also the US government will pay your wages as you did file a lawsuit this very week by signing up with Namus.gov like we all did.

She like me, was an unpaid civilian whom ran into luck. While she's smart, she's not smart like me. Thus she's the FBI vs me who is CIA and can work against the world in a millisecond as i usually do and have in Afghanistan and Iraq where i protected many NHRA members during their tours in the US Military while they served with Jesse James and my little brother and were even kidnapped thanks to Matt Hagan's temper tantrum and Jesse James refusal to listen to command. Eventually I saved them from that too in a day and 6 hours after leaving base. They were involuntary bound and gagged and beaten within 20 minutes of their capture. Within the next 20 when I was finally told of their status they were rescued by Tony Schumacher and his team.

And now i have saved the NHRA from being beaten and raped and tortured. My time to continue here at home is not wasted,

I love you all and thank you very much for listening...

And now i have something to say about Jesse since i made him puke from a lie via email Because he made me mad for being a Dick douchebag and not caring enough about me, not wrecking his motorcycle and then lying to make me feel bad and stupider than ever although I saw the wreck and my being a girl, up and President running, couldn't stop to rescue or assist a man on his feet whom had already picked up his bike after a wipe out and the trailer passed me up to show me he would assist because forgive those trespassers as we trespass ourselves and i care that he could really been hurt. That may be a fault of mine but it is called Grace and not salvation which is being my daughter reincarnated into a goat in Iraq to keep everyone safe because Jesse is a dumb dumb sometimes and Matt Hagan prefers truth over himself, sometimes. Like being in love with a goat of my daughter's soul, in Iraq. (I bet he fucked her, too. Bestiality freak. Not my business tho, nor yours. But still, let's laugh instead of poking fun at his misadventures. It is funny, yo!)

Jesse cared about the goat so much he listened to her over every one, even me. Because he believed she was closer to God where he needed to be..

I changed his life once in Alabama and several times then, over and over, any time that need be.

But finally for this one time he trusted somebody else and learned to love as much as he could, the soul inside of him.

So God bless to all of the two headed creatures we will see wandering around the backs of people at the NHRA in the future to come. Including even on me.

I'm Mrs Cougar cause of my fingernails and my desire to be with someone young to keep me fresh and Alive -- not by his blood byt by the life he gives me. And he will be Mr Snake the one who slithers up beside me only for love while I labor in the grass kicking myself for what i might have done but not for what i might have missed out on because I was there the whole time thinking and feeling and frolicking through the grass, same as me.

And of course my tattoo will be scary cause the world as I know it, very much can be.

And you can thank me for the past or you can think about the future and beyond!!!

[cruelproko]

What she says: I'm fine

What she means: NEIL Josten has had an extremely difficult life since birth. His parents are hella shitty. His dad is the freaking Butcher and his body guards used to hurt Neil. Neil's mother literally showed him no affection. And this overall affects how he acts around others and how much he trusts them. And when he meets Wymack he flinches when he raises his voice even though he knows Wymack would never hurt him. Like his parents did so much damage. And then he signs on for the Foxes knowing it's a foolish decision but for once in his life he sees a future. He gets to go to college and he's so excited. He doesn't care that it means he has to spend the summer practicing so much harder than anyone else, or that he has to sleep on Wymack couch or that he has to deal with the cousins' and Kevin's constant berating. And Wymack gives him a key and he suddenly feels like he BELONGs somewhere and it's such an overwhelming thought for him. ANd when the school year starts he meets the other Foxes and they just show him unconditional love and trust him and treat him so well. Like Matt just supports and defends Neil without hesitation and Neil doesn't know how to deal with that kind of affection because it's so unexpected. And then Neil has to face off Riko during the Interview and he doesn't care that he's probably putting his life at risk but he defends Kevin. And then Andrew agrees to protect him for a year?? Like someone protecting NEil and telling him he can stay and play the game he loves is just too much. Then Seth gets killed and all of that guilt beats down on Neil's shoulders but ANDREW still tells him to stay and that he has a home and Neil thinks about that in his darkest times. THen the Drake incident happens and Neil has to go to Evermore to get Andrew back and all the physical and mental abuse he faces just so he can keep the Foxes and Andrew safe. Like they break him to pieces and for the first time he asks for help from Wymack but he never gives him or complains!!! AND then his father's people come and kidnap him and freaking take a dashboard lighter to his face and cut him up and mentally scar him but all that matters to him is the safety of his friends. LIKE this boy went from nothing to being surrounded by this wonderful people and he puts their safety and happiness above his. LIKE PROTECT NEIL Josten at all costs.

[disneydreamlights]

Nicole (4, 6, 19, 20, 22, 24) Sky (2, 6, 10, 11, 16, 17) Annalee (3, 15, 22, 23, 24, 25) Marina, totally didn't only come to mind because i'm listening to marina and the diamonds. nnnnope. (3, 5, 8, 10, 12, 20) Landon (4, 5, 16, 10, 12, 24)

Nicole: 

4: their insecurities

Well for one let’s start with her ears, she’s super insecure about those and never really will be comfortable about them. Her overprotective tendencies can also be cause for her to believe she might be too overbearing to friends, especially since she can get extremely angry with them to a point that terrifies her a bit.

6: how they deal with grief

What’s dealing with grief well? Nicole literally shuts down. She blames herself, even if it seems like she’s shifted that blame to somebody else, and then she throws caution to the wind and becomes insanely violent for no reason other than to try to get herself hurt. Like she won’t break her moral code, but she’ll take incredibly stupid risks in hopes that she’ll get really hurt in some kind of revenge driven plot, which gets worse when there really is nobody to blame.

19: their reaction to betrayal

Distrust and anger, but beyond that I actually also think she’s one of my ocs that handles this stuff better. Of course she’s hurt and angry at the betrayer, or outright distrusting if they come back to the team, but unlike several of my other ocs she’ll also still try to manage the situation and try to focus on helping the people who were hurt by the betrayal more than she will on her own recovery, so outside of avoiding the person, she doesn’t actually go murder happy on the traitor so long as nobody was hurt.

20: their reaction to a mystery love letter

Immediate reaction is to try to find who wrote it, but the longer she goes the less interested she becomes. Nicole’s interest in romance is honestly not very high, and in any universe she can count the amount of crushes she’s had on one hand. Unless the person meant a lot to her, she probably would turn them down anyways after learning who wrote it, so after her initial “Holy shit love letter!?” reaction she just eventually stops caring.

22: what they're like on two hours of sleep

Nicole is dead on less than two hours of sleep, she doesn’t know how to function on so little sleep unfortunately. 

24: what motivates them

Her love for her friends, and her willingness to do anything for them. Even before presenting a positive icon for Faunus, her first and foremost stuff comes from being there to support the people she cares about.

Sky:

2: their smile

Sky has one of those nice truly happy big smiles you see on people, like it reaches her eyes and when she’s smiling you just know she’s actually and I just imagine Sky has a really nice smile. 

6: how they deal with grief

Flat out denial. If she can’t deny she at first feels kinda numb until the loss actually sets in and then she literally falls apart into a broken sobbing mess who can’t even really function on her own, so when she loses somebody she loves and there’s even a small chance they survived, she refuses to acknowledge it as even a possibility. It’d take seeing the body for herself to truly break down and lose it.

10: their fashion sense

Casual and comfortable. She doesn’t go out of her way for anything special, she just dresses in what’s easiest for her to fight in most days, and on the rare days where she has no missions and there are no Heartless popping up, she won’t wear anything more dressy than jeans and a t-shirt. It’d honestly take Sera’s wedding or something to make her do more than that.

11: their family life

Sky doesn’t visit home a lot due to the frequency of her missions and how long she spends training. That being said, Sera tends to come in to visit a lot, so she sees her sister a lot anyways. Despite never being home, her relationship with her family is pretty good. They love her, she loves them, and tries to keep in touch whenever possible.

16: their dreams

Sky dreams to be the greatest Keyblade Master and to protect the worlds at all costs. She knows it’s a difficult goal, but she wants to do the best she can for friends and family.

17: their ambitions

Her greatest ambition was to get through her training. After all the shit that happened to Landon she kinda struggled with believing that she’d be able to for a while, but her goals pulled through. Besides that, she just wants to keep the people she loves safe. Watching Sera go blind in one eye and struggle through the consequences was something she never wanted to do again.

Annalee

3: their greatest achievement

This is such a weird thing to say, but to Annalee her opinion of her greatest achievement was just making a friend. She’s painfully awkward and to find somebody who could tolerate her awkwardness and not even mind was one of the things that made her happiest.

15: how they react to a brainfreeze

She literally immediately puts her hand to the top of her head in hopes of getting it to stop hurting and her face scrunches up. Depending on how hungry she is, she might drop the ice cream almost immediately.

22: what they're like on two hours of sleep

Not a lot different from how she normally acts tbh, Annalee has her own way of replenishing her own energy that allows her to function when she’s got no sleep...and I hate that she has this.

23: how they act when they're sick

Oh my god she’s probably working so hard on not letting onto the fact that she’s sick even though she’s dying inside so Andrew and Emmett basically have to tie her to the bed so she’ll rest and get better from whatever she has. Like she could be running a 105 degree fever and the flu and she’d still be trying to beat up some Heartless.

24: what motivates them

She’s motivated by wanting to do her dad proud. She wants to prove that birth isn’t everything and that just because she’s not entirely human doesn’t mean she can’t fight for the light and do what she’s supposed to do.

25: why you enjoy them

Annalee was honestly part experiment, part theory, part Vaniqua trash, and the fact that she still managed to to be a surprisingly good oc in spite of that makes me love her, not to mention rping her interacting with Emmett is always a good time. XD

Marina:

3: their greatest achievement

You’d think it’d be being a Keyblade Master, but the truth is Marina has this one painting she did back when she was first learning to channel her anger into her art, and it’s a picture of her, Sky, and Landon and she’s so proud of the fact that she managed to keep them all still enough to draw a picture of the three of them without them being pains and moving a ton.

5: their shortcomings

We joke about Nicole having a hair trigger temper but honestly that’s Marina’s biggest short coming, she will literally fly off the handle for literally no good reason, like somebody could just breathe on her and she might blow up in their face.

8: what they like to eat

Lots of junk food, specifically salty stuff, while most of my ocs have sweet tooths, Marina would much rather have a bag of chips and munch on them for a few hours rather than a tub of ice cream.

10: their fashion sense

Marina is about as casual as Sky in terms of “You’ll never find her getting dressed up ever” but when hanging out with friends, she tends to dress down moreso than Sky does, and it’s common for her to head out in sweats or leggings or whatever comfortable things she can find floating around.

12: their romantic life

Absolutely awful. As in she’s only ever had one sided crushes and any crush that might’ve been returned has fallen for somebody else first. I think the one she’s most embarrassed about falling for somebody else is Sky, and that’s because Sky fell in love with Yuuya of all people in at least one verse, and well...as much as I love Yuuya I don’t think I need to elaborate. XD

20: their reaction to a mystery love letter

“Somebody actually likes me for once, what the fuck?” Marina is actually confused by this letter coming in because she’s never been a recipient, then she looks for the letter’s sender and hopes for the best.

Landon:

4: their insecurities

You know how he accidentally murdered his Keyblade Master when he lost control of his darkness one time??? Anything to do with that instance is an incredibly, incredibly sore spot after everything that happened.

5: their shortcomings

A lot of them come from fear. Fear of himself, fear of causing people’s death, fear in general. It causes him to hesitate in a lot of decisions, and of course when that hesitation causes things to get worse he blames himself. So basically self doubt and being indecisive are pretty good shortcomings.

10: their fashion sense

He’s the only one of my keybearers who actually bothers to try to be less casual than jeans and t-shirts when not training, and by that I mean he’s that asshole who’s always in a jacket and you can’t figure out how they’re not dying. When training or on a mission he’s always in more combat oriented gear so he can fight well.

12: their romantic life

Also unsuccessful, but it doesn’t help that at best he pushed away any and all childhood crushes and most friends for a good three or four years, and at worst he actually dies so I mean...

16: their dreams

He’d like to rid himself of his darkness and find some way to move on from it, and of course bring his Keyblade Master back from the dead, that’d be a really nice goal for him if he could have it. It’s not exactly likely, but that’s besides the point.

24: what motivates them

Landon is motivated by a desire to keep others safe from darkness and prevent what happened to him from happening ever again. He’s really good at trying to help out other Keybearers with darkness issues to the point that when they start to seem powerful he does whatever he can to help So I guess in a twisted way he’s motivated by his own darkness to not be what it wants, even if for a while it doesn’t work out.

[existentialstatesofmind]

Moving In

Clare: made a face. “That’s nasty. I’m glad you told them no. I can’t believe you haven’t been up there, Drew, you should’ve checked it out when you bought the house. What if there’s rodents? Or there could be neat stuff from previous owners. I read about people discovering something valuable in their new homes all the time because people leave what they think is old junk behind and it turns out to be worth a lot of money.” Her mouth formed an o of surprise when he told her what was down in the basement. “I see how it is, Torres, trying to keep your man cave a secret huh?” Clare teased. “That one. I wanna christen the basement now that I know how nice it is. As for the rest, we’ll see.” Clare kissed Drew back. Her lips lingered on his longer this time before she pulled back. She had a feeling they’d probably end up having sex almost everywhere in their house sooner or later. “Oh my god. I know all about that excuse not shave. Don’t forget I lived in New York. The guys at Columbia and NYU enjoyed looking like the homeless people in Central Park, and I don’t think most of them were really doing it for charity. I have got to see that picture.” She said excitedly. “Please. I need a sneak peak of the future. If you looked good, I might even encourage you to participate in No Shave November sometime again before we’re old and gray.” Clare smiled back. “Fine. I’ll do it. When I’m Grandma.” She kissed him lovingly. “Now about this Allison. If I really like the picture, we can take it to a photo place and crop her out right?” Clare lightly smacked his arm, and started laughing too hard to talk for a couple of minutes. “Okay I know I can be intense and overdramatic but no, I wouldn’t rip your head off.” She said once she could speak again. “I’d be worried because we aren’t ready and because I don’t know how to handle it when things don’t go according to plan. Admit it, you would be freaking out too Andrew.” Clare chuckled. “That’s what I want. I’m glad we’re on the same page. Soon as we stop using protection, we’ll have to be prepared to become parents though. Honeymoon babies are pretty common. Of course if I continue to take the pill that might give us more time.” Clare wasn’t sure if Drew wanted to start trying soon as they got married or just leave it up to fate. It probably depended on how far off the wedding was. She knew if they’d stuck to ‘the plan’ they would be getting engaged by now but Clare wasn’t going to bring that up. Once she’d finally admitted everything was real it had been necessary to slow down. “I just told them we weren’t starting a family yet and left it at that. Only Darcy and Alli were nosy enough to really question me anyway. I did remind both of them I’m on the pill.” When she finished her explanation of the nightmares that had been haunting her and how little sleep she’d been getting, Clare snuggled against Drew again after he kissed her. She still felt shaky but being closer to him helped. “I feel safe when I’m with you.” She said softly. “That first night when you were in the hospital before anything happened with us, I realized it when I was able to get the best night‘s sleep I‘d had in ages.“ She listened to Drew’s babysitting story. She appreciated him trying to distract her. Clare smiled as she looked at the picture. “They have a beautiful baby girl and this has to be the cutest picture of you yet. You’re good with kids that’s why you get asked to babysit. I love you too. More than anything.” She whispered back. Clare pecked his lips a few times. Her mind was still on her troubles though. “I’m so stressed out that it’s causing me problems at work.” She admitted.

Drew: looked at Clare when she mentioned the attic. "I would've found out if there were rodents up there by now. I was babysitting a ferret for a few weeks and he ran into the attic a few times as I was cleaning the cage. Once I let him run around my mom's house since she swore she heard noises of some sort and I figured I'd be mean and let the ferret hide her stuff since he hid mine. Instead, he ran somewhere up stairs and we heard small thuds coming down the stairs every so often so I thought he was bringing one of her shoes to hide, turns out there was a mouse in my mom's house and he killed it and bought it to us as a gift or something. I know he killed it because the mouse was dying as he had it between his teeth. After that I took him to the vet to get checked out. I wasn't charged for the check up because the vet told me ferrets are smart animals and wouldn't have killed the mouse if it was sick, he would've just let it die." he said. "Plus the mouse would've been dead withing a few hours." he added, then looked at her. "The only thing in my attic are squirrels. There's a hole in the roof that they go into during the winter to keep warm. They mainly stay in the roof though since my friends told me they aren't in the house. There aren't any holes in the walls." he shrugged. Plus I've banged on the walls and nothing, but when I climbed on the roof and jumped a few times, they ran out." he shrugged. "So I'm not worried about them since they go in and out on a daily basis, my guess is that they're house broken or something, it's obvious that they were hiding in there for years based on small hole I found that was plastered over and gnawed open more than once and the attic doesn't smell at all based on what my friends told me." he shrugged letting her know there wasn't anything for them to worry about. A soft chuckle fell from his lips when she mentioned his man cave and looked at her. "I want to keep my man cave, yes, but I don't want to keep it a secret from you. I want you to feel that you're able to go down there whenever you want to or that it's just mine because nothing is just mine anymore. It's now ours." he assured and let their lips linger as they kissed. A soft chuckle fell from Drew's lips as she mentioned people in her college looking like homeless men and pulled out the picture of him and Allison. "There you go. I don't really look homeless though." he shrugged and looked at her to see her reaction to his picture. "Thank you. We can let people think we're the real Mr. and Mrs. Clause." he smiled. "You know, give other kids hope that Santa is real." he added and smiled at her. "Yes if you want to we can crop Allison out of it." he assured and kissed her more. He liked that Clare wouldn't rip his head off if she had gotten pregnant and listened to her. "I don't think I'd freak out that much, I mean I'd be terrified especially with work, but the restaurant right now basically runs itself which happened faster than expected so I'd stay home when needed and bring the baby with me when I check up on it." he shrugged. "But I would like to wait as you've said." he agreed and listened to her mention being prepared. "Clare, we are prepared. I have enough money saved off to buy you an engagement ring, get married, go on our honeymoon and maybe have some left over. I make about $60 an hour on my own just by how much the restaurant brings in counting food, taxes, staff, insurance on it in case something happens, and the rest left over gets put into my safe here in our room." he said pointing to it. "I just leave that there because you never know when something will break or how much it will cost to replace it." he added. "I kind of want to leave when we have a baby up to fate so if you want to, when we get married you can stop taking the pill." he suggested and listened to her mention Alli and Darcy, he didn't say anything since it was only natural for them to guess that since they were close to Clare and protective of her. "Baby, you need to relax and unstress, while I'm glad that you feel safe in my arms because you are, I don't like when you're over stressed." he stated and moved out of their bed. "Come on, lets move down to my man cave, relax on the couch and watch a movie or something. The TV down there has surround sound." he held out his hand for her.