#i'm not into it irl but in fiction i'm like !!!

[utilitycaster]

actually taking the last bit out of the tags of that post because here is the thing. and I'm going to use specific examples, because I think it's illustrative.

the two groups of people in this fandom who have specifically harassed me have been, as I've said before, imo/dna fans mad I don't find the ship very good, and (to be fair, only on one occasion) shadowido/mauk fans who got mad that I said that tagging ao3 fic about throuples with individual pairs sucks. [hilariously the latter was not even about them at all, it was about me looking for imogen and fearne ship fic that wasn't witchy trio fic and finding it almost impossible to filter].

I do not like these people because they have engaged with harassment. It is not about identity; it is about actions. My closest friend, and the first non-family member I talked to on Wednesday morning, is a bi woman in an open marriage to a woman, with a longterm male partner. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. The last time I visited her, in September, I was joined by other mutual friends, who are similarly in an open marriage with longterm partners and at least one relationship between two women.

I am entirely secure, in my personal life, that I am kind and accepting to queer women (of which I am one) and to poly people (of which I am not), and so I hope you can appreciate that if someone attempts to attack me on the internet on these grounds because I do not have the same exact opinions on pretend people kissing, my response isn't "oh my god I should go off and die because I'm a terrible person," it's "get a load of this moron making wild assumptions about my personal life based on a single data point in my preferences in fiction; I'm going to make them regret doing this to me, and hopefully anyone else, because this is genuinely a detrimental behavior in the fandom space." And also, you know what. If they were a homeless person on the street and asked for a dollar I would still give it to them if their attacks were merely verbal (yes, I know the idea of someone screaming "YOU'RE A LESBOPHOBE FOR HATING IMO/DNA can i have a dollar" outside the grocery store is rather comical, and I think that is how you need to consider statements like "um actually I won't help pro-shippers." Imagine that conversation happening in an irl activist group. Everyone would be like "uh...anyway, how do we fight back against this hostile bench architecture.")

I think right now it is vitally important to remember what actual bigotry looks like and what needs to be fought, and the reason I tapped the sign of this post last night is literally that I think you are wasting time and energy engaging with people who think bigotry is "criticizing the pretend guy Ashton Greymoore for concrete but pretend choices they made" when I also think most people criticizing Ashton would, if Ashton were real, still toss them change if they needed it, or are people who currently donate to or otherwise work with local programs that assist nb people, disabled people, or unhoused children.

I like to argue and I like to engage in fandom and I will continue doing that because it is a source of enjoyment and comfort for me, but I really urge everyone to ask yourself "am I arguing about genuinely different readings, or do I think that everyone who doesn't like my blorbo ship is a bad person" because if it's the latter, I think you need to nip that in the bud of online fandom before it grows into something darker and worse. A lot of irl hate and bigotry starts from a place of "everyone who doesn't agree with me and give me what I want all the time is wrong and evil" and perhaps I am too optimistic, but I think many people who say things like that in fandom just are caught up in the drama of it all and are capable of exercising empathy when they stop treating shipping or interpretation like a popularity contest that, if they lose, indicates that everyone around them is irredeemable. But I also think it can be the start of a really bad path.

[chemical-killjoy]

I can't believe how fucking cruel Buffy is to Spike. Like, I'm only in early season 6, but what the FUCK. She's literally fighting with him, and then they start screwing, and like, fine, bruises can be foreplay if you're into that, but she KNOWS that he's in love with her, and it's more than sex to him, and she also doesn't wanna do anything about it, and actively doesn't like him, even as a friend. I think she's just so traumatized with what happened with Angel that she just shuts off any feels towards him, but still. She's playing with his heart like it's a toy and it makes me mad, cause it's fictional stuff like this that makes people think this is OK irl and it's just NOT

[fizpup]

valentine, you're a horse ❤️

[lorddeathofmurdermountain]

I'm sorry, I just don't agree. I won't even focus on the fact you contradict yourself; "if a person is writing a ship it means they agree with it" vs "it's okay if it isn't romanticized" which is essentially acknowledging there are situations where the author writes a ship despite not liking it.

However, what I will focus on is, once again, that the characters aren't real. It doesn't matter if a ship is between characters we label minors and adults because they aren't that. When an author writes that ship, even if they really like it, it's not an endorsement of such relationships IRL any more than anything else they write about.

I'm sorry, but most people tend to understand that you can like something in fiction and hate it in real life. Like killing. Incest. And yes, indeed, even relationships between kids and adults.

However, since I like debates, let's examine the situation from the perspective of you being correct. What if the author writing these ships is indicative of them actually liking the idea IRL? Well, it depends. Has the author acted upon their dark desires? No? Then I'm sorry, but they literally did nothing wrong. No matter how much you're tempted to do something bad, so long as you don't, nobody gets to fucking complain.

It's the same issue I have with the hate of pedophilia itself - are the vast majority of pedos who end up on the news utter bastards whom I am highly tempted to say deserve a death sentence? Sure, but pedophilia itself is a condition and people who have it not only can't help themselves (in terms of the attraction itself), they also typically hate themselves for it. Some act out, yes, but a lot of them have been discovered to have snapped and done the unthinkable specifically because of the social ostracization they experience, despite not doing anything wrong initially. Like with prisons that focus on rehabilitating the inmates rather than just punishing them, I think it'd be significantly more practical to help these people out so that they don't do anything rash, instead of constantly stressing them out and attacking them.

Once again, common sense ("people under stress do stupid things", "there's a difference between reality and fiction") is thrown right out the window when it comes to certain topics.

Again, I understand your disgust, but YOU have to understand I have absolutely no damn reason to care what the author finds their guilty pleasure in. Hell, by your logic, this is a perfect way for the author to unwind in a safe way.

This just in

[hildegardladyofbones]

One of the best things about Disco Elysium by far is that it does not fear ugly women. The world is full of ugly men, but ugly women are so hard to come by.

[fanvoidkeith]

sometimes being aroacespec is confusing. what do you mean, most people can tell the difference between platonic and romantic and sexual attraction? what do you mean people don't "choose" crushes? what do you mean that people can imagine themselves in a physical situation with someone else?? isn't dating just Friendship Plus??? hell, isn't marriage just Friendship Plus?????????

what do they mean??????????? what are feelings???? why am i so confused????????

*edit: changed "aroace" to "aroacespec", since several aromantic people felt that this was not an Aromantic Feeling. i see you, i hear you, and so i changed it to be more accurate to me personally, since i am Confused About Feelings Always

[la-principessa-nuova]

yeah, it's still not clear:

what counts as a weapon

what counts as a blade

what counts as a kind

without more information, the question is basically:

do you think there's more ????s of ????, or non-???? ????s?

like is a rock a weapon? since they have often been used as weapons? does it need to be man-made and purpose built to be a weapon? what about a utility knife? does that count as a weapon? and what about explosives? or a car used to intentionally run somebody over? do fictional weapons count or just ones that exist irl? what about real designs that haven't been produced? are teeth and claws weapons or only if they're pulled off first?

is a spike a blade? what about a sharp edge of a weapon not meant to be used to slice? what about an arrow tip?

is "ax" a kind of weapon or do we need to be more specific? is "polearm" specific enough? is "halberd" specific enough? a particular style of halberd? a specific design? are the idiosyncrasies of each produced unit enough to be considered a distinct "kind" of weapon? what if i customize mine with an engraving? what if I modify the shape of the blade by accident or on purpose? what if I add a second blade to the other end? what if I snap the handle in half and make it shorter?

and if bullets aren't weapons, then what about arrows? what if an arrow is used as a spear?

honestly it seems a bit unfair to projectile weapons to consider a different kind of projectile as not a distinct weapon. like it would sound ridiculous to decide that a different shaped blade makes it not a distinct weapon if the handle is the same, since that's the part that does the damage.

that all being said, without further clarification, I have to side with non-bladed weapons, because there are so many ways to make something do damage other than a blade, and the fact that humanity has interacted with and focused on blades so much I think introduces a ton of bias to make it seem like there's more blades.

sort of like how transcendental numbers (like pi or e) seem so rare because we encounter algebraic (not transcendental) numbers so much more often, but in reality there are a countably infinite number of algebraic numbers but an uncountably infinite number of transcendental numbers, so there are actually not just more transcendental numbers, but way more.

so I'm going with non-bladed, but it's such a subjective question that it could be interpreted to have any correct answer.

[beanghostprincess]

Bakudeku getting extremely more popular and normalized bothers the shit out of me a little bit because I did not spend years of my life hiding that I like that ship out of fear of getting harassed for everyone to now shift so quickly over the last chapters. You like Bakudeku? MY Bakudeku? The one ship a lot of people had to pretend they didn't like in case they got attacked? For a fictional ship????? THAT Bakudeku???

[korrasamibottles]

What if the assertive muscly woman with the most demanding high-stakes job on the planet didn't have to be the decision maker for a little bit and could let somebody else call the shots while she gets ******** into oblivion. Do you understand my vision. Post.

[triaelf9]

hey folks who interact with creative works online! just a tiny PSA

If you don't like a character, that's totally fine! If you have a different reading of a situation in a show & have issues with stuff that's going on, that's also fine.

What is NOT fine is to ACTIVELY SEEK OUT fans of the characters you don't like and talk shit about them, the characters they have feelings about, or the content they've posted b/c you, Freddy McHatesalot really needs to tell everyone how much you dislike a...fictional character.

You are totally welcome to consume content in your own space in whatever way you see fit. It is disrespectful of the fandom space to try to drag other people into your space and interact with you if they don't want to. And dunking on a character in writings or art of them is fucking rude as hell to the person who put work into into the creation they made out of some feelings they were having.

Also. side note, it is possible to enjoy a character who is Wrong About Some Things or Isn't Doing The Right Stuff In The Right Situation. Sometimes it's possible to like a character and disagree with them, and shitting on people b/c you can't see what they see in a character is pretty trash garbage and is 90% of why I just make silly little art for me and my own silly feels and hope folks get a chuckle or some enjoyment out of it too.

[writeouswriter]

*banging fists on table* more mentally ill characters in stories that aren't just about them being mentally ill! More mentally ill characters in sci-fi, in fantasy, in romance and fun and high stakes situations and everything in between, as the heroes, as complex individuals, multifaceted and treated with respect, not having their needs and differences ignored or skirted around but, again, not having them be their only trait or plot point/entire premise! Please, I'm begging, on my hands and knees, there's a place for these topics and characters in realistic, reflective and literary fiction, yeah, but there's also a place in those magical, mystical, action packed, mysterious and alien worlds, give them to ME

[officially-other]

My first attempt at writing that's vaguely like poetry: from a dragon

I am not what you think.

I walk around, awkward limbs and flighty mannerisms, and you think I’m strange. You have no idea how strange you would think I am if you only saw what was underneath.

Underneath, I am a creature of the ocean. Something that could never pass as human, and no longer wants to. Saltwater rushes through my veins in secret, silent to everyone but me. To me, it’s a roaring sound of the waves that I have never seen except for within my soul. It yearns to dissolve into the ocean like it could long ago, but for now those days are over and I am hidden underneath skin and muscle.

Underneath, there are wings; fins; antlers. They ache to tear from my back, through my skull. Nonetheless, they stay hidden for me, safe in the silence. Protected like I protected my kin in a lifetime so close to the surface and yet unreachable. Wrapped in a form that no longer coils around them like a serpent, but keeps them hidden from predators well enough I suppose.

I suppose.

I accept my form reluctantly and do what I can to make it mine. I shape it to feel better when I discover my gender, and when I can’t shape it to fit my true self I cover it in things that feel a little more like home. A little more draconic. A little more like the ocean that I never have seen, but feel homesick for anyway.

I do find joy in being in this body, at least. Out there, there are others. Angels working minimum wage, dragons sitting on a park bench, wolves buying groceries. We hide, but we do so to be free. We walk through crowds, and no one notices our scales and fur and feathers. But we do. We see each other, even if from miles away, and we see what’s underneath.

And underneath, none of us are what you think.

(Tags for side commentary/context)

[oopsiedaisymae]

i really wish people who uwu-ified the obey me cast to the point of making them incompetent would take a minute and think about how fucking obnoxious a grown man can manage to be when he's being a pain in the ass on purpose. you wouldn't lovingly chuckle at his antics you would throw knives at him be so fuckin fr

[sosadraws]

I don't know what kind of drugs Rose-Engine put on this particular design, because holy shit I've never been this enthralled by a character before.

[romanticatheartt]

I can't believe there are people in this fandom who say Mor lied about what happened at Autumn Court and led Azriel on for centuries. We have people say Gwyn, an SA survivor, has manipulate everyone with her lightsinger power and she wasn't actually SA'ed and undermine her strength in Blood Rite. We have people say Feyre overreacted and Undermine her trauma and depression to nothing after UTM and calling her ungrateful...

All of these over another man's action...

While Eris didn't try to help her, y'all make a hero out of him for not touching her. I know why he did it but the fact that you try to find an excuse for his actions and go as far as calling Mor a liar. (don't forget he slut shamed her in front of all the high lords...)

While Azriel is the one who's been panting after Mor for centuries, while Mor couldn't be more obvious about how she doesn't want to do anything with him and you didn't even consider how she might not trust him enough to tell him the truth but somehow... Mor is at fault. Somehow Azriel, not even trying to talk to her once, discuss their situation, create a safe space for her and try to be her real friend, instead of waiting for a mating bond with her, is the victim here... you all don't find his actions creepy at all because he's a "shadow daddy". While Azriel still couldn't say he's over Mor to Rhysand and at the same time tried to f*ck Elain without thinking anything more of her (no future whatsoever), but somehow, somehow... it's Gwyn's fault, who used her lightsinger power to prevent it from happening and manipulate Azriel all the same... all of these are being said because of Azriel's own actions and you don't want to blame him and hold him accountable for his doings, so you find (no, create) these disgusting excuses.

While Tamlin only sat there for 3 months and didn't even try to help Feyre and y'all excuse his lack of action for protecting, but he could get her alone right before the night of her last trial... While he sat there begged on his knees and didn't even try to stop Amarantha, and in the main time each bones in Feyre's body was breaking. And you still find an excuse for him, locking Feyre and not listening to her about how she's suffering, how she's drowning, because he's "traumatised"... but Feyre died for him and saved his court and people and the whole Prythian and destroyed herself in the process but you don't even see that... and go as far as calling Feyre a coward for hesitating to kill those faeries...

[borgialucrezia]

ok we talked too much about showtime's the borgias, cesare/juan's cain and abel parallels, the murder of juan, and how the fratricide's aftermath affected the depiction of cesare's story. but can we now talk about the real historical cesare and how much he adored juan, despite his flaws? the fact is, even when he scolds him and shows his outright disbelief in him in their letters to each other, he does it with calmness, affection, and a sense of humor? when juan was appointed as the papal army leader, cesare's response letter to juan was delightful, specifically that part when he was like, "i am all the more happy for the very great love i have for you." and the fact he signs his letter to him with "from your brother who loves you as he loves himself" (which was used in a negative context in the borgias), while juan signs his letter to cesare with "from your obedient brother, duke of gandia." cesare was never condescending to juan and he had never reprimanded him. in fact, he has always gently guided him into behaving better with a direct tone.

after juan's sudden assassination, it wasn't just their father who fell into a paroxysm of grief. cesare was also affected, as he became too bitter and anguished. the untimely fate of his brother caused him such a psychological complex for the rest of his life that he became the cruelest man in italy, but his state became troubled. especially after he inherited a position that was previously held by his brother before his violent death, which caused him to have dark premonitions and anxieties about suffering a similar fate.

there's also an interesting line from gustavo sacerdote's (an italian essayist) biography, in one of his lines, there are moments about cesare's manners and methods toward his family: "the letter from cesare borgia is also interesting from another side. it is one of the few pieces of writing from his private and family correspondence that have come down to us; [...]we want to stick to the words contained in it, the fraternal love that flows from it, from the first to the last word, shows us an affectionate, effusive cesare, full of tenderness for his younger brother, very different from the grim borgia, which from history usually appears before our eyes."