#i'm not complaining too much about them because it's not... totally horrible
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koalapastries-writes · 2 days ago
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*coughcough* lando/kimi/ollie/oscar/lance/yuki (separate not polyam lol) and their reactions to a) reader leaving them limping and b) readers back being a scratched up MESS
(sorry if this is too much 🤪)
love ya (hehehehehehehe) 😘
-bear ❤️
love you bear <3
under cut bc nsfw. obviously.
kimi antonelli:
at first he's soooooo bitter about not being able to walk normally
he's cussing you out in italian under his breath
i mean he literally told you he wanted you to go as hard as you could
but he doesn't like dealing with the consequences of his actions
he's making the most exaggerated wincing faces whenever he passes you with his limp
you don't say anything for a while
but when he starts being too much of a brat
you'll take your shirt off and turn around to show him the deep red lines going down the length of your back
kimi's blushing like crazy but
he's also proud
like yeah
his bf is so good you got him to do THAT to you without even knowing it
lance stroll:
i've said it before and i'll say it again
lance is a princess
more than that, he's your princess
which means you leave him limping frequently, and he leaves intricately scratched patterns on your back just as often
he'll be so whiny and demanding about it but in a cute way?
like he doesn't really need much. he asks you to lie down on your stomach while he takes a picture of your back for his collection, asks you to carry him to the sofa and get him some food
and then he's pretty content to watch a tv show while you do whatever because he can still see you
the only hard and fast rule is that you must never wear a shirt at home when your back's scratched up
be proud of his work please and thank you
lando norris:
brat
you know how the most pampered dog in existence sighs like he's had the most terribly horrible pathetic life
that's what lando does
he'll sleep later than you, so you're already dressed by the time he wakes up
you bring him breakfast in bed, kiss his forehead, make sure his water is still cold, and let him ramble to you about whatever strange dream he had the night before like you always do
but then he'll shift and feel that ache (totally whines about how unfair it is that something that feels soooo good can then make him feel bad things. calls it a sex hangover)
and he'll definitely drop food on your shirt specifically
neither of you know how it always hits you and not him but lando's certainly not complaining
breakfast in bed + his boyfriends gorgeous body? what more could a guy want
immediately shuts up and stops being obnoxious when he sees how he's basically shredded your back
k bear i'm gonna ask you to send me this again with ollie oscar and yuki bc i wanna get this out now as a thank you for helping tonight but i am also almost falling asleep at my computer 💔 i will definitely write the other half, just ... when i can see the keyboard again lol
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e-adlirez · 8 months ago
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Why are you this ick about the friendship things in the books? I mean, for a book series that aimed for preschooler shouldn't it be expected for the books to have a lot of corny messages about friendship and love? Like, I feel like you gave way too many expectations for a silly kid series
Okay yeah that's fair, maybe my expectations for the series is holding the bar a bit high, and it might just be a me thing (I could never get into MLP for the life of me)
But hear me okay
The reason I don't like the power of friendship being mentioned in the books is because it clashes with what I've seen of the series so far.
See one thing the books did very well was allow you to imagine that the girls are grown-ass adults in university. They are very good at selling the bit that the girls are adults, without infodumping the crap out of it. For the best look into how this is done, see graphic novels 1-4, as well as the main books that were done in the older artstyle. The way the books are written allows you to really believe these girls as grown adults-- there are occasions where the books' age sticks out a bit... too much, but most times, it's smooth sailing, and the girls are very believable as adults.
Case and point: I got into the books when I was eight years old, and one thing I appreciated and still appreciate about the older books is the fact that the immersion is on-point. The books are rated 6-10, but only in terms of the language level (it's short and easy to read is what I'm saying). The plots of the books are well-written, and most importantly, the books do not treat you like a kid as you're reading. You'd be surprised how valuable that is nowadays,,,
Even the friendship bits in the older books worked hard to sell the bit in a way that it fits with how the stories are written, which is very grounded and realistic, actually (minus the cheese puns):
The girls gave Thea a fancy jade and called her "the keeper of our friendship"? Friendship bracelet logic, which is a very valid logic. Colette's cousin mentions the girls' friendship? Well yeah, it makes sense in that scene because she's hosting a fashion walk, and the girls literally carried and were kinda the reason why Julie's finals project wasn't completely scrapped; that part where the friendship bit is mentioned is literally the perfect moment for a cheesy-ass speech. (There's a really good one in non-English Shipwreck too but that's a story for a whole 'nother day.) The way the plots are written is very down-to-earth and grounded, and the inclusions of the friendship bits back then reflect this. This was the way the bar was set for me, and thus it's how I judge the later books.
As the series progressed, things got more explicit with the age range. Nothing atrocious, but you could tell things were getting more and more openly kid-friendly. You know it's progressed when more than a handful of people mistake them for being highschoolers instead of grown-ass adults in university.
There is still action, and there is still adventure and shenanigans that you get fully immersed in, but if you're like me, you would be happily immersed in the adventure, trying to solve the mystery alongside the girls, but also hoping and praying to your holy deity of choice that a friendship bit doesn't come up in the year of our Lord 2024.
Only to die inside when it is brought up and the delivery sounds so blatantly sugary it can give you a cavity. The kind that hurts to see stick out like the sorest thumb.
So yeah, my standards might be high, but my standards are high because I've seen the series reach that bar before, and I know they can do it again. I am mentally ill for this franchise dammit /affectionate
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mind-intheclouds342 · 2 months ago
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Helping Daisuke!
(I don't know why but i think you all gonna think that the way i write its pretty funny and weird, it's just so different making it in spanish.
My first language isn't english and i'm trying my best doing this for the first time!
I hope that at least you can all enjoy it a little bit)
This is pure fluff
You thought you were going to have a horrible experience on that ship, but a light was there to brighten your days.
After finishing high school, you weren't quite sure how your life was going to keep going or what you were going to do.
Your parents were very worried about you, immediately urging you to do different things that only ended up putting more stress on you.
Until they achieved this, and you accepted, you needed to escape from them and have time for yourself.
You never imagined that one day you would reach space, it was something unreal for you.
The fact that they hire people with no experience at all it seemed so strange, but you didn't complain too much about it or think of it.
You ended up being Anya's intern, who was in charge of the nursery.
You liked her a lot, she was so calm and sweet with you, and you felt secure having another woman on the crew.
At the beginning of the trip, you were extremely focused on learning as much knowledge as possible from her, where the medications were located, CPR techniques, how to perform a routine check-up, and other things.
In any case, you kept a certain distance from others, feeling defenseless in front of everyone else since they were older than you and had the necessary experience to do their jobs, while you only felt like an intruder.
But not with him.
Daisuke had gone through a situation similar to yours, ending up as Swansea's intern, helping him with mechanical work.
But you two hadn't exchanged a word until that day…
Swansea: "Hey (Y/n), I need you to help me with something, and it would be better if you bring your emergency kit"
You had been alarmed immediately upon hearing the man call you, but you nodded to accompany him; he certainly looked upset, making you wonder what had happened.
Swansea: "I couldn't find Anya, you were the closest one to ask for help, because I need you to fix this idiot soon."
He mentioned, pointing at a Daisuke sitting on a box, thinking about what had happened.
You immediately noticed the drops of blood on the floor, you began to carefully examine the boy's body until you found that he had a piece of metal embedded in the palm of his hand.
You tilted your head, analyzing the wound for a moment; it wasn't large, the metal was cylindrical and of small diameter.
"How did that happen?"
Swansea: "Ask the fool, I don't wanna here, if I keep seeing him I'm going to smack him"
He ran his hand over his face in frustration before leaving.
You couldn't help but smile, noticing that he was truly worried about the boy.
You approached and sat down in front of him.
Daisuke looked up to see you, and his eyes soon began to search for something else to focus on.
"I'm going to need you to lend me a hand."
You said, extending your hands, hoping he would do the same.
Daisuke: "Really, it wasn't as stupid as the boss says! Seriously, I was doing something very, very important"
He began to speak nervously, to which you just kept staring at him, waiting for his hand. Defeated, he finally handed it to you.
"So, what was that totally not silly and super important thing you were doing?"
Daisuke: "As you can imagine! Swansea couldn't fix inside the ventilation ducts for obvious reasons! I wanted to help him and I climbed up! But… I fell and my hand got stuck as you can see… It was for a good cause!"
"Mmh"
You hummed, focused, watching the swelling around the metal, and touched the boy's fingers, making sure it hadn't pierced any tendons or bones.
Daisuke: "Does it look very bad? It doesn't hurt as much as you might think"
"It's going to hurt."
You warned him, leaving him confused, when you put on a glove and ripped the metal off, making him let out an extremely high-pitched scream.
Both of them stood there, surprised by how he had shouted, the boy immediately turning red.
"The good thing is that it didn't go through anything important, you were lucky."
You began to clean the wound carefully.
Daisuke: "Great… Great… Soooo… what things are you into?"
You raised your gaze curiously for a moment at his question.
Daisuke: "I need to talk to distract myself from the pain."
"What do I like?… Lemme see… I like watching series… Listening to music… Read… Normal things, I guess? Nothing extraordinary"
Daisuke: "Those are awesome things! What kind of series do you like to watch? Oh! What's your favorite music genre? I can teach you some awesome songs! Do you like movies? I love action movies! Ka-pow!"
You couldn't help but laugh a little at his enthusiasm while you were already bandaging his wound.
"You're going to have to take good care of yourself and we'll do some check-ups from time to time, okay?"
Daisuke: "You mean like dates?…….I mean! Medical! Medical dates!! Medical appointments?"
You were surprised by that and smiled at him, raising an eyebrow, starting to understand what all that nervousness was about.
"We can also have dates, if you like, although it will be difficult on the ship, but if you're okay with a day playing cards and watching the screen, then I think we can make it work."
Daisuke: "Are you serious??"
You could see how her entire face lit up with your suggestion.
"I'm not going to deny it, you're cute, and you're the only one my age, I feel much more comfortable with you."
Daisuke: "Eh-? Seriously, is that all you see??"
"…You have never spoken to me! How could I like anything else about you if I don't know you?"
Daisuke: "It's just that talking to girls makes me nervous… I was afraid of saying something that would make you think I'm an idiot-"
"Okay, so… What do you like about me?"
Daisuke: "…That you're my age… and you're pretty…"
You crossed your arms at his vague answer like yours.
Daisuke: "How handsome do you think I am? The most handsome one in the crew, am i rigth?"
He smiled, running his hand through his hair, making you laugh.
"The second one, I would say~ but Captain Curly is too old for me."
Daisuke: "I didn't want to know that! Lie to meeeee!"
He stayed, and you could only laugh more, to the point where you accidentally started to snort, covering your mouth trying to stop laughing.
Daisuke found that even more adorable and magnificent, his cheeks flushing even more, thinking that he might have a chance with such a sweet girl who laughs at his silly words and actions.
"Remember, no matter how much it itches, you mustn't scratch it, okay?"
You indicated to him after you had caught your breath and stopped laughing, you had to return to the infirmary to leave the emergency kit you had taken.
Daisuke: "Got it!"
He brought his hand to his forehead and smiled at you.
You returned the smile and approached him to leave a kiss on your cheek before leaving.
He stood in place for a few seconds before jumping up, shouting with joy, raised his hand wanting to high-five someone, but realizing he was alone, he high-fived himself.
Something he immediately regretted but it was worth it.
Anya: "Oh, (Y/n) was looking for you"
"I was helping Daisuke, he had hurt himself, here I bring the kit to put it back in place."
Anya: "Yes, it had a very nasty wound"
"…How do you know?"
Anya: "Well, I was the first to see it but Swansea suggested that you should see it to test what you've learned, I'm sure you did great."
You let out a chuckle upon hearing that, so Swansea took it upon himself to help you talk to each other, he really do cares about Daisuke.
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neonovember · 2 years ago
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Hello, uhm, so this MAY be an uncomfortable thing to request I’m not too sure. It’s totally totally okay if it is absolutely feel free to ignore this, but the way you write Carmen is so so comforting. I have this neighbor that lives downstairs from me, I’ve lived in my apartment for two years but the past 4 months with this guy has been hell. I live in the U.K. and the people that own the building and the police don’t view my situation as anything dangerous or serious, despite the fact I have made numerous complaints and even the other neighbors in my building have complained about him. But he targets me the most and bangs on my door at ungodly hours and threatens the most horrible stuff because I’m a woman living alone. I’m honestly terrified but unless he physically does something there’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry for the sob story but usually I always try and just picture Carmy as something comforting to help through this until I can be safe, would it be okay to request something like Carmen finding out about his gf losing sleep and constantly being terrified and deciding to take matters into his own hands, and demanding she moves in with him and helps pack her stuff because he will NOT stand for that shit (again totally 100% okay if you don’t feel comfortable responding)
oh my god anon, I'm so deeply sorry that you have to deal with such a shitty situation, and the fact that you have to wait to be physically attacked before the police can do anything? Fuck the justice system and fuck law enforcement. Don't every feel scared to send a request to make your day or week or fucking month better, it's why I'm here, and the fact that my writing can make you feel even a little better is the greatest gift i could ever ask for. God I just hope you're able to remain safe, call a friend or family to keep them posted in case anything happens, I'm so very sorry honey :(
Broken bones and soup
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carmen berzatto x reader
warnings: misogyny, violence, feral!carmen makes an appearence, angst, horrible neighbours, angst, teeth rotting fluff, carmy feeding you
w/c: 5.3k
a/n: this was hard to write, i really wanted to do it right by you anon, and when have i ever written carmen without him breaking someones face?
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The falling sun encapsulated the cerulean sky, exploding against the horizon in heated shades of orange, crimson and pink. The trail back to your apartment complex wasn’t long, but it gave enough time to bask in the warmth of evenings bathed in sunlight. It also conveniently enabled you to tell yourself you had gotten your sun for the day, rather than having to swallow pills you hated to swallow.
It was muscle memory however, your legs moved with the familiar comfort of the sidewalk, forgetting the stomach turning realisation of what had awaited you back at your apartment. 
It had been a couple months, four maybe 5, you didn’t really want to count the days having a violent neighbour moved in directly down your apartment. The other tenants who you've grown to know collectively bristled with the annoyance of a 30 something year old filling the usual peaceful nights with crashes and yells of broken plates and incoherent obscenities. 
When you had raised the issue to the landlord and even to the police, you had been shut down with a shrug of the shoulders. 
‘We can notice him with a noise complaint, but if he aint hurting anyone we can’t do much’. 
That had made you laugh a little then, before you had been close to bawling your eyes out and ripping out your hair. Sure he was loud, your neighbours from the other side of the apartment complex could attest to that, but it was so much more than loud fucking music, and somehow, you had bared the brunt of his violence. It was targeted, you knew it, and your legs began to shuffle at the thought of coming home to another violent outbursts at your door. 
You hadn't gotten any proper sleep for the past 4 months, waking up to loud banging at your door, and declarations of brutality he whispered through your keyhole. It was all empty threats, those men in clad uniform had told you when you woke up shaking with fear as he screamed taunts of murder from below, you had run out in your pyjamas and bunny slippers and they had told you they couldn't help you. 
There were not empty threats, and this wasn’t the hundreds of true crime shows you had binged, you felt it in your bones, you were a woman living with yourself for god sake, he was going to break down your door one day and hurt you, and you couldn't do anything about it. You felt paralysed by the helplessness of it, forcing yourself to stay up past 12, the burn of your tired eyes forced open by the blue light of your phone, in case he tried breaking in. You had begun to keep a bat near your bed, a knife in the drawer of your bedside, and you felt fucking insane. Noone had made a major problem out of it, and yet you felt like he was one bad day from a murderous rampage.
Carmen could tell something had been wearing on your shoulders, the way your eyes blinked slowly, and the syrup slow movements of your limbs when you had visited the Beef not long ago. You couldn't bear to tell him, your past relationships had taught you enough not to unload all your problems onto another person, but it had gotten bad. You had started getting notices of concern from your boss, asking if you were alright, telling you how your performance had been declining.
You had quickly shut down any looks of concern thrown at you, this was something you had to deal with yourself, you didn’t want anyone, especially another woman to be faced with the brunt of his violence. You guzzled caffeine and energy drinks like it was water, and your limbs jittered with the rush of adrenaline until the peak had dropped and you felt like your stomach was ripping itself apart.
You braced yourself as you turned the corner into your apartment complex, keeping your head down, and going through the carpack to avoid the hallway that was right next to his door. You felt your stomach drop, your keys pressed between your knuckles and you flickered your eyes up to the door of his apartment. You watched it like a hawk, ready to flee at any sign of opening, and when you had finally made it to the elevator, you breathed a sigh of relief like no other. The air suddenly fills your lungs once again.
Your phone buzzed in your jean pocket, and you reached out to grab it, the screen illuminated by Carmen’s text. You felt a tingle of glee shoot through you, biting back a smile at the thought of seeing him today.
“You still coming today for the family dinner?”
The beef had begun a sort of tradition, every last Friday of the month, they would close early and hold a sort of family dinner right out back near the tables and chairs. Everyone of the crew’s family and friends were invited to join, some bringing a plate or a drink or two. It was the highlight of the month, and you hadn't missed a Friday ever since Carmen and you had become something more than close friends.
You typed out a quick reply with a tongue in your cheek, as the elevator doors opened, you didn't look up right away, walking with your head down as you tucked your phone back into your pocket. It was a fault on your end, you should have looked up, at least then you could have braced yourself as your neighbour stood stationed near your door with a cheshire smile stretching ominously across his face. 
You wondered if you could run back into the elevator, but the doors had closed well before and you feared turning your back to him was an even worse fate. You walked towards him, plastering on a smile that didn't look even a little believable.
“Something I can do for you?” You ask, your voice heightened by a mix of fear and false confidence
“Hear you've been complaining about me” The man replies with a smile, his hair slicked back, the shadow of a badly shaven skin spiking up. His shirt reeks of sweat and stains of spilt takeaway and you have to take a tentative step back to escape the stench radiating off of him.
“Yeah, you might not realise it, but you have been a bit- uh loud, and the loud banging on my walls?” You prouch him, and his eyebrows rise in surprise, shaking his head with a laugh that horrified you.
“Am I scaring you?” The man replies 
You swallow as your eyes flicker to his burnt hazel ones, they stare down from above, almost mocking in the way they forced you to answer.
“Uh, uhm- well, a lot of us got work in the morning, and I can’t wake up if you're making a lot of noise during the night”
“Oh, is that right?” The man asks, scratching a hand across his jaw
“Well no one's been the one complaining but you” The man replies
“I don't think so many of us-”
“You saying I’m a liar??” The man suddenly shouts, and you can help yourself stepping back a distance quickly
The man watches the way you distance yourself away from him, his eyes flicker to the keys poking out from between your fingers and he bites back a laugh.
“So you are scared of me, liar.” The man spits out with venom, before stepping towards you, caging you to the wall as he whispers near your ear
“You think fucking keys are going to stop me? A little lady like you living here all by yourself?” The man digs his fingers into your sides, until you howl out and retch yourself away from him, you reach for your right side, holding the skin above your rib cage that had begun to swell and bruise.
“See how easy that was? A fucking pretzel in my hand” The man calls out with a smile, before walking back around the hallway corner with such ease and comfort that told you he knew the police wouldnt do shit.
Your hand shakes as you shove your key into your door, you have to hold your own hand to put it in, before shouldering your way through your door with wince, and dropping your bag and belongings to the floor.
You rush into your bathroom, undressing before your eyes flicker to your mirror, seeing the red rash of irritation and the start of a purple imprint of his claws shoved into the skin below your ribcage. You wince as you try to soothe it, the salty tears breaking down your waterline, you can't stop, the wretched sobs of your helplessness echoing off the bathroom walls.
You climb into the shower, sliding down to the bottom as the tears shake through you, you hug your knees to your chest, letting the warm water combine with your salty tears, so they become one, and you know longer now how terrified you are. You stay in the shower like this for a bit, letting the warmth and steam wiggle your body from its stone encapsulation.
You can hear the familiar jingle of your phone ringing from where you had haphazardly left it, and the memory of today's dinner comes rushing in. You had nearly forgotten, and whilst you were terrified to leave your home and go back into the hallway where it had happened, you couldn't let Carmen down.
So you had gotten up, in the same way you had fallen down, and tried to scrub away the smell of his day-old cigarettes and sweat until your skin burned, poking your head through a clean shirt and a skirt that hid the painful purple splotch that had begun to spread across your side.
Entering your quaint kitchen, you can’t stop your arm as it reaches for the brown liquid stored in that old glass bottle Sugar had told you was a century old. You didn't have a little liquid courage to make it past your goddamn threshold.
You downed it in a gulp, reaching for your bag and a pocket knife, just in case. The reality of that decision broke you a little, when did you start needing to armour yourself?
Your phone buzzed from its position edged between the living room couch, it was Carmen, again, telling you he was outside. Carmen had begun to ceremoniously show up to your apartment as the autumn had begun to bleed into the winter nights, and the sunlight had stretched until darkness hit by 5 in the afternoon. Any other time you would have chastised him till the point where he would stop, but now, with the reality of your neighbour, you felt a relief wash through your body at the thought of being close to him. You also don’t doubt he would have shown up anyway, ignoring your requests in the way he does when he thinks it's his responsibility.
You wouldnt say you had a lot of experience in relationships under your belt, but something spoke to you from within, carmen was something special, this was special, sacred in the way destiny was, and you shooke with the relentless fear of fucking it up. And scaring him away with your problems seemed to be on the very top of that list
You shake the thought from your head as you shut the door quietly, take a brisk pace as you walk but kind of run to the elevator. A neighbour you knew well stood near the doors, his dark auburn hair falling in front of his eyes, he nodded to you with a silent smile. He kept to himself most of the time, and you didn't know much about him, just that he always was tugging a sleeve down his left arm, but he always went out of his way to give you some sort of greeting.
The air between you was silent, as you were waiting for the ping of the elevator to drop to your door, and you heard a shuffling near you, your eyes watching the way he coughed and stared at you from the corner of your peripheral vision.
“Heard something out in the hallway, it wasn’t him again was it?” The man replied, concerned about lacing his features as his eyes seemed to be fixated on the way you leaned on one side of your body a little.
“Uh no, it’s- it’s alright, I guess it was my dues you know? Dealing with a shitty neighbour at least once” You reply with a tight smile, trying to poke fun at the very depressing thought.
The man nodded with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, your neighbours had known that he was loud, knew that you had dealt the worst of it being right above him, but they were clueless to his taunts and threats that he said into your door at night. You think the man next to you had an idea though, the way his eyes scanned anything like he was always assessing, always calculating the world around him. 
It was also because your neighbour was nowhere to be found whenever he was around, you whispered a prayer of thanks that he was taking the elevator down with you, with his sweatpants and top, it was like he knew, a silent nod of protection.
Before you could open your mouth to whisper a thanks, the doors of the elevator had opened, a tired mom and her two energetic kids passed between you both. It was funny, you could see yourself in her, the drag of dark circles and the hunch of her shoulders mirroring your own. 
You knew the very shakily painted on makeup did little to hide the exhaustion on your face and you rushed to enter the elevator to escape the thought. The motion of the elevator moving down nauseated you a little, churning your stomach in the way it always did with motion, but your apartment wasn’t big and soon enough the music of the elevator turned to a halt as the doors opened up to the ground floor.
You could see the headlights of Carmen's car through the automatic doors of your complex, and you gave your neighbour a smile before rushing to jump into the comfort of Carmen and his very, very warm car.
-- -
The car ride to the beef has been silent, just the syrupy beat of jazz from the car speakers and the burn of Carmen’s gaze searing a hole through you, you feared if you caught his eyes and the look in them the entire interaction today would tumble from your tongue.
You couldn’t ruin today, it was tradition, you had just begun to become folded into it. The joy of Tina calling your name for a hug, the talks about the new pastry ideas with Marcus, Sydney’s laughter, it soothes you like a balm, and you were sure the nausea crawling through your stomach would dissipate the second you entered.
But it didn’t, the beautiful lantern lights from outside the Beef glittered against the Chicago moonlight and the smell of Italian meatballs engulfed your senses and you still felt like you were being ripped apart from the inside.
You had said your hellos to everyone, biting back a yelp as Tina’s hand pressed against the bruise on your side, and nodding to Richie’s rambles whilst you felt outside of your own skin.
Your mind kept replaying the scene of him lunging st you, bristling your skin till goosebumps spread through, until your mind was exhausted from fear and well, fucking exhaustion and Carmen had to call your name too many times to rip you from your thoughts.
“Hey, you alright?” Carmen asks with that soft honey tone he keeps for you.
You nod with a smile, and Carmen’s eyes shift towards your plate untouched. It was your favourite, a twist on Osso Buco and yet it laid un moving, Carmen knew it, you did too, and you held back tears as Carmen simply nodded, not sure if he was overstepping his boundaries.
It was the first lick of the start of something, the both of you, the bloom of a companionship Carmen felt was destined, like it was seared into the sand years before you both had even come into existence. And Carmen was new to this, and that opened up a whole can of worms, he didn’t want to fuck it up, he didn’t want to think about fucking it up, but god did he always seem to fuck it up.
You reached across the table to grab the jar of water, your shirt riding up without you noticing. Tina’s eyes widen at the peek of a purple imprint from under your shirt and she has nearly drops her fucking fork
“Baby? What happened to your side?” Tina replies with concern, her voice is quiet but the tables loud boisterous conversations begin to slow down.
You tug your shirt down, and you burn with guilt like you had been caught with this big secret. Carmen immediately looks towards your side, his eyes scanning the way you since a little as your finger brushes against it.
“Nothing, uh um I fell” You don't even believe yourself
“That looks more than something you get tripping over your feet darling, did something happen?”
“What? What’s she saying honey? What did you see Tina?” Tina’s gaze flutters to Carmen, and there’s a pause like she’s assessing whether it was Carmen’s doing before the reality of who he is hits her. It was ingrained in every woman, and Carmen wouldn’t be an exception. Even for a second.
“Looks like someone’s goddam fist imprinted into her skin” 
The restaurant is completely quiet now, and your head falls to your uneaten plate of veal, they look towards you in concern hearing the end of Tina’s words.
Carmen lifts your shirt, and you don’t stop him, the reality of your attack is shown right there in front of him, the imprint of a large hand bruising purple and blue.
Carmen’s eyes burn into the skin, his fists shaking as he remains silent, the rest of the family look on in horror, whispers of “holy fuck?” and eyes seeing the way Carmen practically vibrates, like he’s a second away from exploding.
“..Who did this?”
“It was my fault- I”
“Who did this baby? Who hurt you?” Carmen replies with an exhaled murmur.
“I’m, uh, Uhm- he- oh Carmen” You can’t get the words out, they’re stuck in your throat and you can’t get them out. You feel trapped, your body is sweating like you’re caged, like you're wading through a current and you're losing yourself to the weight of it, your breakdown on display for the whole world to see.
You blink back tears as Carmen tilts your chin to face him, and the look on his face, the look of distraught and fear that blossoms across his features un tetheres the tightly wrapped self control you had formed.
And Carmen scoops you up into his arms so that the entire family doesn’t have to see you break into his shoulder.
His soothing words are like a balm to your distress and he walks you, bridal style to the first aid cabinet, sitting you down on the counter, wiping away your tears as his fingers shake and his throat bobs with a tight swallow. He hastily tugs your shirt, kissing back the howls of pain as he whispers “I know, I know baby girl, I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry.”
His soft fingers press gently against the bruise as he rubs a heating ointment across it, he wraps a warm compress around it as bandage and his eyes are avoiding your own as he focuses his fingers on your skin.
“Carmen?” You whisper, the hiccups of tears resounding from your throat, Carmen reaches for a painkiller, placing it in your palm with a whisper of affirmation, he gently tips your head back as he pours water into your mouth, and you swallow it quickly, before looking back at him.
“Carmen? Please” You reply, had you done it, had you ruined everything?
“I can’t look at you because I fear I might break, and- and I can’t right now okay darling? I have to find, I have to find who did this, and I need to make it right, hm? I need to make sure your safe because god my heart is outside of my chest and I can’t feel anything but fear” Carmen replies with a tight low voice, his fists shake as he pressed them into the counter beside your thighs, but he looks up to meet your gaze anyway, and he smiles tightly as the tears stream down.
“Oh Carmen, this isn't on you, you couldn't have possibly known” You reply, wiping a hand across his cheeks.
“How can you say that? I am your, I am meant to protect you, and you, you come limping in without me noticing, fucking Tina saw it before I could, and i hate myself for it” Carmen replies, his cerulean blues shining bright against the shine of tears.
“Who did this, someone at work? A guy on the street?” Carmen replies and you flick away from his gaze, hand falling to your lap as your tongue burns with the desire to just say it all.
“You've got to tell me baby girl, you have to know I've got to make it right, I won’t sleep till I do. '' Carmen replies with a pained cry, like his heart is breaking from the thought of letting this go un avenged. And it's the tortured look on his face, it's the shake of his limbs like he wants to destroy and burn the entire world around him till he finds whoever has done this that uncurls your tongue and lets everything out in the open.
“What? This has been going on for months? Why didn’t you tell me?” Carmen replies, his thumb rubbing soft circles across your thigh.
“Didn’t want to scare you away Carmen, i love-i I like you a lot, more than I have anyone and I didn't want to fuck it up and unload all my problems onto you like a dumpster” You reply, and it sounds stupid when you say it out loud, and when Carmen looks up at you in disbelieved confusion.
“Huh? Oh sweet girl, I’m meant to help you bear it all, that’s why I'm here, and the idea of you thinking I'll love you any less, that I won't help you because of something like this haunts me. I’m meant to protect you yeah? That’s my fucking job, and I’ve failed it” Carmen replies with a grunt.
“No one has said anything like that to me” You say, eyes looking up to him, you weren't shocked, but you weren't, were not shocked, never had you experienced this, this burning adoration for another person, this soft warmth that burst through you at the sound of Carmen's voice promising his devotion, promising his unyielding protection. It armoured you more than a pocket knife ever could.
Carmen presses a soft kiss to your head, before shuffling around the kitchen, walking back into the dining tables, hushing out replies of ‘she's okay’ before coming back in with your things under his arm.
“What are you doing?” You reply in question, as he slowly picks you up with an arm, and gently places you back down. His eyes are constantly flickering to your side, like he’s torturing himself with the image of the first time he saw the horrific bruise across your side.
He had never felt true fear until then, the shatter of his heart beneath his breast as he realises you had gotten hurt and he didn't even fucking realise. Nothing had mattered but your safety and he scared himself with how much his body shook with a desire to destroy the person responsible.
“I’m driving back to your apartment, where you're going to grab your necessities, whilst I pay a visit to your little neighbour downstairs. You’re staying with me, for however long,” Carmen replies with a sneer, walking you through the back door, which you were all too thankful for, you couldn't bear to see the look on the crew’s faces if you had to walk back in.
“Carmen you can’t” You reply rushed, as Carmen slid you into the passenger seat, before clicking on your seat belt for you. He cocks his head, before raising his eyebrows
“Oh, I can’t? Honey, the police don’t do their job and my baby get’s fucking hurt. Nah, that doesn't work for me” Carmen replies, before rushing to enter the driver's seat, shifting the gear into drive before speeding down the city streets. 
His focused on the road, his face unblinking and he grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white, you can’t stop looking at him, his gorgeous under the moonlight of the skies, his cheeks crimson from his tears, his cerulean blues calling to you like the sea, and the curl of his blonde hair falling like waves.
The view of your apartment complex comes into your vision as Carmen turns into the carpark in one swift move, you can’t stop the shake of your fingers and Carmen wants to slam his first into the steering wheel when he notices.
“You alright?” Carmen replies “You can stay here, I’ll grab whatever you need”
You want to stay, want to remain in the safety of his sleek tinted windows, but you want to face it too, and somehow that need is more important, he doesn’t get to win, no fucking way.
You unclip your seat belt, opening the door as you turn to him “You going to show me how you protect me or what?”
Carmen bites back a smile, god he was so fucking proud. He could tell you were scared shit less, and yet you fought through that fear, and god you mesmerised him. You were stronger than he could ever be, and he wanted to take that burden from you, carry it himself so you didn't have to.
Carmen jogs to the back of the car, reaching into the boot before the clunk of wood on gravel meets your ears. Carmen nods towards you, as he grips a bat under his arm
“He puts a bruise on you and i break all his fucking bones” Carmen replies, and you can’t stop the joy that image brings you
Carmen walks you to your apartment, waiting outside like a hawk, his bat tight against his grip as he watches the hallways, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, you feel infinitly and utterly safe.
You throw your toiletries into a bag, grabbing a few nights of clothes and your work shoes. You eyes flicker around your apartment, it had been home to you for the past 4 years, and yet it felt so foreign to you now, you had grown to attest this place, this place you had filled with so much of yourself, and you hate him so much at that moment, for making you feel this way about a place you had once loved.
You leave your apartment with the door shut closed.
Carmen carries your bag and places them back into the back seat of the car, and as he begins to walk towards the apartment of your neighbour you reach a hand out to stop him.
“Honey, I’ve got to-” Carmen begins before you shut him quickly
“I want to watch” You reply quietly, and Carmen’s eyes flicker, before lacing his fingers into yours, as you both knock on his door.
There's a grumble before the clank of a chain slides open, and his face appears as the door opens to him, you can see the illuminated light of his TV glaring, the floor covered with pizza boxes and beer cans. You see in real time, how his face morphs from anger into fear, his eyes dropping as he sees the way Carmen practically shakes, and the man isn’t able to let out a word, a protest or wail of a plea before the crack of Carmen's wooden bat swings through the air.
-- -
“Are you sure he isn't dead?” You reply, as you dip a washcloth into warm water, wiping away the blood across Carmen’s neck
“He isn’t going to die if I wasn’t the one causing it, besides, if he does, that’s God finishing off the rest of it”. Carmen replies, raising his face so that you cleaned the last of the streaks of blood splattered across his jaw.
Carmen reaches for your hands, pressing a kiss to the top of them as he looks at you in that way like he yearns for you to be closer. 
“You need sleep, but first you need to eat, yeah?” Carmen replies, shushing your protests and he carries you to his room in his arms, after he notices the exhaustion in your limbs. It’s dark, illuminated only by the wall to ceiling windows that look into the busy city streets and light up sky scrapers. 
The sheets are strewn across the bed, haphazard like Carmen had rushed to get them off of him in the early mornings. Carmen slides you into them, tucking you within the soft pillowy blanket, sitting on the edge as he caresses your cheek softly.
He leaves for a moment, rushing to make you something to eat, his skin crawling with a need to feel you against him, nearly tripping over himself as he walks back into his room with a bowl of soup and a bottle of water.
Carmen sits next to you again, pressing spoonfuls of soup into your mouth and wiping the edges ceremoniously as you rest against the headboard half asleep. 
You don’t notice the way he looks at you, like he's trying to memorise every dip and curve of your face, his fingers clutching the spoon tight like he’s going to break if he doesn't hold you against him.
“Honey?” Carmen replies hushed
“Hmh?” You reply, your eyes heavy as the comfort of Carmen's warmth spreads through you.
“Don’t ever scare me like that again, you tell me everything okay? Everything” Carmen replies pained, like the events that transpired somehow still were not resolved, like breaking the man's legs wasn't enough for him.
“Okay” You reply, and Carmen places the dishes onto the bedside table, leaving it to the morning because he can't keep you away from him any longer.
Carmen joins you in the bed, the left side of his bed finally taken by somebody for the first time in a long time. Tugging you against him, Carmen curls your body to lay against his chest, his fingers softly gracing your back, soft circles that had begun to lull you to a sleep you hadn’t felt in months, years even.
The beat of Carmen's heart joins with yours, together and entwined like how it was always meant to be, why had Carmen waited so long? Why had he let time pass without you tucked under him, safe within his arms and away from all the horrors of the world.
It’s only when Carmen notices the shift in your breathing, falling into a soft exhale before he even lets the whispers of sleep grip him within its grasps, his shoulders finally release from its tensed state once he knows you've finally fallen into a sleep that had been kept from you.
“You don’t know how much I love you baby girl, it fucking scares me, but I’ll keep reminding you until infinity if I have to, until you know it deep down like I do” Carmen mumbles out, his eyes falling heavy and you grips you against his chest.
You don’t really know how, but even between the state of sleep and consciousness, you hear him, and you whisper between the space in your bodies, that you already do.
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homocidal-invader · 9 months ago
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Professor Membrane: Good or Bad Father?
I've decided to scientifically argue weather or not Professor Membrane from Invader Zim father of Dib Membrane and gasoline the other one by going through EVERY EPISODE of Invader Zim (that he appears in) and making a point counter of every good and bad action he does.
Episode 1 The Nightmare Begins Ignores Dib -1 point
Episode 2B NanoZim Just gives him the tiny ship when he needs help even though what he says is insane. Proffy doesn't even call him insane just tells him to run along + 1 point
Episode 3A Parent Teacher Night He tried to show up for the meeting,,, even if it resulted in the lab exploding. + 1 dad point - 1 scientist point
Episode 6B Battle Dib Didn't recognize his son - 1 point Too hard to contact - 1 point Gave Dib the permission slip + 1 point
Episode 8B Bad Bad Rubber Piggy MADE HIS SON INTO A COOL ASS BATTLE ROBOT TO PREVENT HIM FROM DYING + 1 point
10B Bloatys Pizza Hog Only one annual family night out - 1 point Lets Gaz choose wherever she wants + 1 point Made sure Dib also came + 1 point If Dib doesn't show up, he'll put it off for next year - 1 point 12B Game Slave 2 One of the best lines in the show + 1 point
13 Battle of the Planets Told his son aliens were fake and said he had a big head as a baby. The iconic line "my poor insane son" debuts this episode. - 1 point
14 Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom said "It was only a matter of time" for Dib going to HIS INSANE ASYLUM THAT HE OWNS. - 1 point Did not consider Dib's opinion for a second. - 1 point Sent Dib to the asylum. For the rest of his life. - 1 point And an extra bad point, because that's really bad, and the worst thing he's done in the show and what most people remember him for. - 1 point Another bad point for apparently experimenting on baby Dib so much he has subconscious trauma over it. - 1 point
15B Future Dib Neglects his children (hasn't shown up for weeks) - 1 point However he makes prerecorded messages for them so he's not totally abandoning them. + 1 point Inviting his kids to the infinite energy thingy. + 1 point Pat Gaz on the head + 1 point Noticed Dib was missing immedietely + 1 point He told Gaz to make sure Dib doesn't do anything embarrassing. - 1 point Waited for his kids despite jeers from the audience + 1 point DOESN'T GIVE EVERYONE PERPETUAL ENERGY BECAUSE THEY DISRESPECTED HIS KIDS + 1 dad point - 1 scientist point Membrane doesn't realize the robot dib is fake - 1 point
18B The Sad Sad Tale of Chickenfoot Invasion of privacy by letting randoms in the house. - 1 point Calls his son insane to everyone there. - 1 point Insisting what his son's future is as I'm assuming he does that a lot offscreen. - 1 point Not defending Dib when everyone starts laughing at him - 1 point
20 Tak The Hideous New Girl Trying to make friends with Dib's friend :) + 1 point
21 Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars Tells Gaz to be nice to his brother and helps her out with her problem. + 1 point Calls Dib insane behind his back - 1 point
23b Dibship Rising He LIED about the can of beans wiping out ALL HUMAN LIFE - 1 point?
25 Gaz Taster of Pork Always keeps the fridge stocked with good food + 1 point Stopped what he was doing immedietely to help Gaz with her problem + 1 point Put his kid on public TV without consent - 1 point Turned his kid into an experiment - 1 point Makes his children have to do an escape sequence at all - 1 point Apologizes + 1 point
27 The Most Horrible X-Mas Ever Trusted Dib with his anti-santa arsenal + 1 point
DELETED EPISODES!
Mopiness of Doom Listened to Dib + 1 point Told Dib to give up on his dreams - 1 point Very encouraging to Dib + 1 point Constantly checking in on Dib + 1 point Very tuned into Dib's emotions and be able to tell when something is bothering him + 1 point Professor Membrane's love is conditional - 1 point Complaining about Dib to Gaz - 1 point
10 Minutes to Doom Did not recognize his son - 1 point Did not want to get involved with Dib's fashion matters - 1 point Deciding to take a look anyways + 1 point Didn't to his son and now insisting that they have to stop him - 1 point
Day of Da Spookies Calls his son insane - 1 point Stopping work to help him anyways + 1 point
TOTAL SCORE
Good Points - 25 Bad Points - 30
ENTER THE FLORPUS
Making his kids a food robot + 1 point Waiting for Dib + 1 point Calling his son insane to Gaz - 1 point Telling Gaz to be supportive, even using metaphors + 1 point BEHOLD MY BOY CHILD + 1 point Mean to Dib about his interests - 1 point Arguing - 1 point Calling Dib's spaceship fake - 1 point Wishing isn't very scientific son - 1 point Patting his son on the head + 1 point Unprovoked calling Dib's ideas imaginary - 1 point Confirming he knows aliens exist, thus meaning that he's just saying they don't to be mean to his son specifically - 1 point Insisting it's a hallucinations so hard - 1 point Saying he'll always be proud of his son before he thinks he's going to die + 1 point Saved his son from a pit! + 1 point Helped fight off robots with Dib + 1 point Saying "great work honey" to Gaz + 1 point Using the moose without arguing + 1 point Pretending like all of it was a hallucination - 1 point Convincing everyone else it was a hallucination too - 1 point 10 Good point 10 Bad points
TOTAL SCORE
Good Points - 35 Bad Points - 40
RESULTS ARE IN!!!! Professor Membrane, SCIENTIFICALLY, is a BAD DADDYO!!!!!!
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crazyyluvr · 7 months ago
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The World Wants to Melt my Face Off I Swear-
pairing: sirius black x gn!reader
summary: If the summer heat was not going to back down, you’re just going to take matter into your own hands. And Sirius is all up for it.
genre: fluff, mild suggestiveness
wc: 698
content: modern au, you and sirius live together, established relationship, reader removes/changes clothes but no gender-aligned body parts are mentioned, HOT SUMMER HEAT, watermelon <3
note: totally didn’t write this because it’s so damn hot and i need a way to cope with the heat, totally not… (i wouldn't do this if I lived with someone, but if I lived alone, I'd 100% walk around in just my underwear — THAT'S HOW HORRIBLE THE HEAT IS HERE)
drabble under the cut :: not edited
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Summer was relentless.
It was like the world was getting hotter every year, because you were pretty sure that you didn’t feel like you were going to get burns on your feet just from walking around in your house a few years ago.
Sirius found it amusing to hear you swear to yourself once in a while and complain about the heat radiating off the walls of your shared home. The scrunch of your eyebrows and the way your lip set in a slightly curving pout was adorable to him.
But that wasn’t the only reasons why he enjoyed the times when you get worked up like this.
The long-haired boy liked it because you would change your dressing style at home to accommodate the heat and make sure your body doesn’t feel too warm.
Your usual baggy, long-sleeved style was replaced with tank tops and shorts that left little to his imagination. It was one of the only times you didn’t care about how much skin you were displaying, more focused on keeping yourself from overheating.
You were rummaging around the kitchen one late afternoon, trying to find ice for your beverage. Not even the cold that it got from being in the fridge was enough for you.
Sirius was laying down in your shared bedroom, the air conditioner working overtime to keep the room chilly enough to keep you comfortable. He was already buried under the comforter and an extra blanket and yet he was still shivering a little. How were you this warm-blooded?
"Siri!" You called, voice muffled from the walls, but it reached Sirius's ears nonetheless. He pulled the covers off of him and walked towards the door. He opened it to be greeted by a rush of heat.
"Close it quickly, you'll let the cold out," you said, focused on your task in the kitchen. It was mid afternoon, and the sun was merciless with its bright and hot rays breaking through the windows.
He soft and fond laugh escaped his lips, but he followed your wishes and shut the door gently behind him.
"You hollered for me love?" He said, turning to look at you before stopping in your tracks.
You didn't have a shirt on. (If you have a bra, then you're wearing a sports bra still btw <3)
Your back was exposed to him, showing off the curve of your spine and the contours of your back.
"You want some watermelon?" You asked, still not turning to look at him. "I found some earlier today in the market and left them in the fridge, so now they're cold."
You finally looked over your shoulder when you didn't get a response, only to roll your eyes when you saw Sirius's dumbstruck expression.
"What? It's hot!" You said defensively, putting down your knife and angling your body to properly face him.
He grinned, approaching you and examining your body (as if it wasn't anything he hasn't seen before). "You're hot, babe."
You rolled your eyes again, but a smile slipped past your façade. "Suree..."
Sirius put his hands on your hips, dragging them up your sides and to your shoulders. You shivered slightly from the cold that lingered on his pale fingers.
"We can just have the watermelon later," he murmured, leaning in and placing a kiss on the crook of your neck that was coated in a light sheen of sweat, making you laugh and push him away. "Sirius I'm sweaty!"
"So?" Sirius shrugged, pulling you closer still. "It's not something I haven't dealt with."
You swat his arm, turning around and focusing back on your fruit, but it was hard when Sirius molded his chest into your back, placing kisses on shoulder, neck, and the higher part of your back.
"Sirius, I want to have fruit," You said, voice slightly whiny.
Sirius groaned. "Fineee, but we're definitely gonna do something about this when we're done."
He pressed his hips against you and you gasped when you felt something against you, shoving him away with another laugh. "Sirius Black, you horny man!"
"Only for you, m'love," he said cheekily, winking.
You did end up happily eating your fruit. And helping Sirius with his little (not really little) problem as well.
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just-a-sewer-goblin · 7 months ago
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Bartender!Kyle x gn!reader Part 2 babyyyyyy Not proofread so probably horrible. Sorry. Just wanted to get this out there as quickly as possible. I hope you have half as much fun reading as I had writing. Part 1 | COD Masterlist | Part 3
He's not waiting for you to return. He's not looking at the door everytime it opens the next few days. He's absolutely not hoping to see you again. Nope nopedy nope. He did not suddenly grow obsessed with you. He -
The door opens and his head whips around to look at who's coming in and he can feel himself straightening up, when he realizes that it is in fact you. You and some friends it seems.
You're all chattering amongst yourself and occupie a table in the corner. Kyle isn't sure who he has to thank for your return because his bar surely isn't the most popular with regular people and there's prettier spots out there, but he's not gonna complain.
He wipes his hands on a towel, swings it over his shoulder and approaches your table. Suddenly he's happy that his bar is so small and cozy that he can manage it alone.
"What can I get for you?"
One of your friends pats your shoulder after whatever they said to you and the two of them, a dude and a girl, order their stuff. Your eyes stay glued to the table and your friend orders for you.
He wonders what's up with that. You look.... down?
Shame, he would have loved to get a glimpse of your lovely eyes.
When he's behind the bar again, making your drinks he glances at you. Your friend goes to pat you on the shoulder again and you scowl.
Down and angry too? Maybe he can help with that.
He decides to double the amount of your drink and then approaches the table while balancing a tray with your drinks.
As he gets closer he can hear your voice, angry and frustrated.
"... improper language with a customer!? Can you believe it? That fuckwart had it coming, I swear. They should be grateful I got rid of that scum for them. But nooooo, 'You're fired' it is."
You let your head fall to the table in frustration and Kyle is being torn between feeling bad for you and being enamoured by the way you talk.
He never knew he could be attracted to the way someone talks. But your voice is utterly captivating and you have a particular way of pronouncing words, that just draws him in.
He silently puts the drinks on the table, putting yours before you. When you notice the amount in the glass you look up at him in surprise.
"Uh, I ordered a regular?", you question.
He smiles in response. "It's on the house. Noticed you didn't seem to be having the best day. Enjoy, dove."
When he turns around he can hear the girl squeal.
"Did you hear that!? He called you dove!? Oh my god! He was totally flirting with you."
"He's so cute too!", the guy adds knowingly smirking at you.
Then Kyle's too far away to catch more of the conversation. Shame, he would have loved hearing your response. But he's satisfied with the knowledge that your friends will definitely nudge you in his direction.
He's pretty sure everyone in the bar is too drunk to notice him paying special attention to your table and you're too busy moping about losing your job to notice him dropping by way more often that he'd need to.
It's honestly no ones business. He needs to check on his little dove.
He's coming by to ask if you need another drink once more when he hears you say: "Just gotta find another café to serve at."
Like a knight in shining armour Kyle is there.
"Sorry for eavesdropping but... I'm currently managing this bar alone and I could really use some help. So if you're interested in a job, maybe I've got the one for you.", he offers.
He smiles brightly and warmly at you and you gape up at him.
"Holy shit! That's awesome.", you say and immediately slap your hand over your mouth. Then you rush to say: "I can control my language, I promise!"
That makes him laugh and you grin up at him awkwardly until he makes you speechless once more.
"Oh, you can run your mouth here all you want. The customers won't care and I'm just happy to hear your pretty voice."
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lovelykil · 1 year ago
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OK OKAY LISTEN TO THIS LISTEN TO MY WORD being friends with the main 4 but they give you princess treatment headcannons😋 😋🤭
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─Headcanons─
main 4 x reader older ver.
hc; princess treatment from the main 4
cw; none ⤵
Out of all of them I think we all know who would be most caring and gently with you
kyle, duhh
or kenny 🤔
anyway
Being the only girl in the group it's kinda rough probably even humiliating but it's okay Kyle does his best to treat you well, helping with homework, buying you lunch, driving you anywhere you need to go, and making sure he listens to EVERY detail of the gossip you found out.
Basically like a boyfriend but just friends and no kissing 💁🏾‍♀️
I mean he still rips on you time to time, you're friends with those main 4 obviously but it's to a minimum.
If you just broke up with your boyfriend or girlfriend he's totally like "girl WHAATT, WHAT HAPPENED?"
then once you explain all in tears, snot coming from your leaky nose he brings you close gently rubs your back.
"awh it's okay, you'll be fine I didn't like them anyway.. wanna get ice cream and watch horribly made romance movies?"
you sniffled, nodding and leaning away from him. "Yeah.. I wanna do that.."
"Alright I'll get more tissues to clean you up, you are a hot mess right now."
"I JUST GOT DUMPED, OBVIOUSLY IM GONNA–"
"Tissues..right!"
He's like a mom lowkey when it comes to you
Okay I'm gonna say it right here and now cartman does not give two SHITS for or about you so don't expect much from him
I mean sometimes really random times he'll ask if you want to go get drinks and maybe get your nails done... but very rarely..
"hey fag, wanna go to the mall and.. like buy stuff, maybe get our nails done too?"
"cartman that's like hella faggy.. of course I wanna do that."
You guys go to the mall, look around shop a little here and there (with your eyes) since bro was NOT finna pay for your broke ass 😭😭😭
Jk he DID buy you like a jacket you wanted, only because it looked good on him so he was just like "what the hell?" And bought you it
but just so he can steal it from you
LMAO
He did spoil you with the pedicure though at least 🤷🏾‍♀️
hmm okay stan is soo silly
bro doesn't really care much
you wanna go get drinks, got chu
get wasted on a random Wednesday night? He'll sneak over with boos
you want his shirts to wear cause you think they are cool?
gives you some and some more just for the hell of it
you guys totally match on some days
pretty chill tbh, gives you mostly anything you want he's like the chill dad just drinks all the time
Cannot say the same to Kenny though 🤕
Doesn't have any money so he can't spend much going anywhere with you
But princess treatment isn't all about money sometimes!!!11!!!!
As your friend that's a GUYY he listens carefully to the things you complain about time to time, probably pitching in some things to fix your problems too.
I'd say he likes to braid your hair as you rant off
Take you on walks just to hang out
build some Legos together that he saved up with you 😭😭😭
Quality time is his specialty fr
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acotarfrustrations · 1 year ago
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An ongoing list of ACOWAR grievances I'm keeping track of while I read (because there's too many to make a post about all of them) pt. 2
I'm on chapter 15 now and feeling the urge to complain again so here we go
1) the writing is way too overdramaticized. Like every other paragraph is some remixed version of feyre going "I wondered whether it would be eggs or bacon for breakfast. But when I looked at Rhys I realized that he was giving me my own choice. My mate, my high lord. In our home. With our family. Every thing was always my choice" and its CONSTANT, LIKE OH MY GOD GIRL SHUT UP
2) every thing about Lucien's plotlineand the elain mating thing. I HATE this subplot with a PASSION
3) feyre immediately fucking rhys when she got back instead of going to see her sisters
4) feyre and rhysand acting like they've ben separated for forty centuries instead of a month
5) the contradictions about how the high lord thing works. Like it was established that its a government position given to you through basically fate and being chosen by the cauldron or whatever which is why siblings kill each other for a chance for the throne and yet they just went to a priestess and swore feyre in as high lady?? It makes her title not feel real like it's purely ceremonial. It doesn't even make sense that she would be able to be HL of the night court as she has no more ties to that court than she does any other court. Is it because she's mated to Rhys? I don't understand the HL lord at all, it just keeps changing
6) the fact that Feyre, Rhys, and Cassian tell Lucien about their tragic backstories and everything that's happened to feyre at the NC and he just immediately does a Feyre™️. Like he's suddenly "Oh yeah you had a horrible childhood and took feyre into your found family without letting her explore relationships outside of the IC, that totally makes up for all the evil shit THAT IVE SEEN YOU DO WITH MY OWN 2 EYES. wow i cant believe youre not evil even though you killed 50 winter court children and sexually assaulted your mate and mind raped her constantly to get her to like you"
7) the way they're treating Nesta. It has been a MONTH since she was stolen from her home, brought amongst a race that she is terrified of and THAT ENSLAVED HER PEOPLE, and was forcefully turned into ONE OF THEM and the IC is acting like she's being unreasonable for not wanting to talk to them or to mate with Cassian. WHY THE HELL WOULD SHE EVEN BE THINKING ABOUT CASSIAN RIGHT NOW?? WHY THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL BAD FOR HIM? Instead of him worrying about how his mate is doing regardless of his own comfort he's like WOE IS ME, SHE DOESNT WANT TO FUCK ME?????? GET OVER IT ASSHOLE?? WHY IS FEYRE EVEN LETTING CASSIAN COME NEAR HER AND ANTAGONIZE HER?? DOESNT SHE LOVE TO FLAUNT HER HL STATUS AROUND?? THIS IS THE TIME TO USE IT, PROTECT YOUR GODDAMN SISTER FROM HIM? ITS SO OBVIOUS THAT SHE DOESNT GIVE NEARLY AS MUCH OF A SHIT ABOUT NESTA AS SHE DOES ELAIN!!
8) the fact that sjm didn't keep cassian's wings shredded. Him learning to live with that would have been a badass character development but now sjm doesn't want me to have good things
9) the mating bond in general. I think it could be a potentially good plot device but no one ever employs it well and sjm is definitely the most egregious with it
10) the fact that the ic never gave consequences for their fucking actions. Feyre dies in acotar? Turn her into a fey and give her ALL of their powers. Stealing a precious artifact that they didn't even end up needing and getting a bounty on their head in the summer court and then getting that court invaded? That's fine because feyre is SOOO brave and says things that are common fucking sense which makes her SOOOO smart so we obviously need her as an ally so we'll just rescind the blood rubies. Getting the spring court sacked? That's fine we didn't like them anyway. Rhys and feyre's bond gets snapped? Well they didn't know about our super secret mating bond that is actually the only thing that gives our characters chemistry so we still like each other. Rhys causes irreparable damage to every court for 50 years and kills 50 kids? Well that's fine he was being held hostage and hey! We don't know he actually killed those kids 😡 Feyre, a 20 year old girl who's been fae for like 6 months and training for even less goes up against thousands of years old beings? She beats them effortlesslessly! Rhys gets sexually assaulted for 50 years! Well he planned all of it so it has no negative consequences on him. Cassian gets his wings shredded? Well he worked really hard and they're fixed now 🥰. Rhys FUCKING DIES?? Well that's no problem, tamlin can just resurrect him, nvm the fact that there's no reason why he WOULD. like no harrowing situation is ever interesting cause we all know sjm isn't actually going to do anything to the ic
11) "my mate" STOP SAYING IT PLS IM BEGGING
12) "males and females" STOP SAYING IT PLS IM BEGGING pt. 2
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alikat7 · 18 days ago
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https://www.instagram.com/share/reel/BAIn_rY2Gy
I couldn't fit my reply in an Instagram reply!
I cannot believe how much crap people put on Sebastian that is mostly lies or twisted info. Is he perfect? No. But does he deserve this BS? Hell no. I guess since your whole claim to fame is 'Hurting men's feelings by saying what they did', you probably needed to fluff this up with BS and half truths to be more controversial. I am going to talk about this video and the response comments both.
1. Yes. Actors would avoid the PR with him doing a Trump movie. Trump is about to be one of the most powerful men in the world again and he has been known to be very vindictive of entertainment people portraying him badly. Late night talk show hosts have been threatened with lawsuits for making fun of him. If you're not American, you might not understand. Regular citizens have been attacked verbally and physically for criticizing Trump. MAGA people are violently protective of him. Hollywood has mostly been very vocal against him(including Stan during his term in 2016-2020 and now) so I bet he assumed that everyone reaching out saying how great he was in that role would also be willing to do the Actor on Actor thing. But Hollywood is being quiet about Trump now that he won the election. It's fear. And yes, fear of the bad PR.
2. The whole ex thing - OMG I cannot believe this is still going after 4 yrs! - is BS honestly. People claimed his ex was racist because of the crazy section of his fandom that went back 3+ years on one of her friends Istagrams to find a picture of her in Asian clothes at a party and accused her cultural appropriation. First, she's Spanish. We have no idea if Spain has the same definition of cultural appropriation and if they consider it racist. Even in the US, it wasn't always considered racism. The MET gala had a Chinese theme in 2015, but no one complained about racism. Second - why are fans researching his girlfriends to the point you find a photo on their friends Instagram 3+ yrs before? That's crazy! I bet Sebastian didn't know about that photo until the fans dug it up. Third - if she didn't realize it was considered racist and he asked her about it when the fans brought it up, she could have just admitted to him she made a mistake. Who can say. None of his fans actually know the details of his relationships and should stay out of them. I am not defending anything she did. I am just pointing out that the fans don't know the whole story.
3. Pam & Tommy - Seb was brought into the project by the same man that did I, Tonya. I'm sure he assumed everything was cool since in the past it had been. He met with Tommy, and he was cool with it. Lily couldn't get a meeting with Pam. No one has any idea *when* Seb knew Pam was against it. The public didn't know until Courtney Love claimed Pam was hurt by it. Courtney Love isn't a credible source for anything. She's crazy. But even if she was telling the truth, Sebastian was under contract and filming by then. He can't just back out of projects because he finds out something like that. It wasn't his job to talk to Pam. It was all of the show runners. He knew he had Tommy's blessing. Despite Tommy's future abuse of Pam, he was also a victim in the sex tape release, too. And what is everyone upset he played an abusive man? He's not condoning it. He also played an assassin and a cannibal. Jeff in I, Tonya, was abusive, too. He's not glorifying Tommy. He may have admired Tommy's rock God status (and yes, at one time, he was a rock god), not his treatment of women. I only heard him talk about it being fun with the tattoos, earrings, playing the drums, the total physical transformation, etc. Seb has gone on record many times talking about how they portrayed Pam and Tommy as victims of an unbelievably cruel invasion of their privacy and how it destroyed their relationship and damaged her career. He considered the show an expose of the horrible truth because most people thought they leaked the tape because they sold the rights. I am old enough to remember, and everyone thought Pam & Tommy released it. They were known for being wild, so it wasn't that surprising if they did. Seb and Lily thought it was very pro-Pam, so until they started doing press, they probably didn't know Pam was truly against it, and they hurt her. But Pam didn't even blame Sebastian or Lily. And to be honest, no one got more shit about it than Sebastian. Not the creators, not the show runners or writers, not Lily, not Seth Rogan, no one else dealt with the backlash like Seb. Why? I think it was due to #4.
4. Sebastian has a huge fanbase. He always has, but it got bigger due to Marvel. I read some bad comments here about how he treated his fans. This goes against everything I have heard about actual fan meetings. He's known to be a bit shy, introverted, and quiet at times but has always been kind. Did everyone forget when jumped off a stage at a convention, ran into the audience, and hugged a girl because she was overcome by nerves to ask her question? Or when he heard some fans were outside the hotel at Toronto Film Fest at night so he came down in his PJs to take pics and talk to them? The man stops to talk to kids and dogs all the time. He's a nice guy.
So let's talk about the small, dark, denented section of his fandom - the Anti-Fans. They claim they used to be his fans, but not anymore, yet they still spent hours a day digging for his personal information so they can post online. They post pictures of the outside of the building he lives in, his fathers funeral, personal family photos, photos at friend's houses, his vacation, his address, videos of him as they wait outside his building or his favorite restaurant. They go up to him when he's eating, getting coffee, running, walking out of his building, etc, and wonder why he's polite but obviously not thrilled about the encounter. But then he's 'horrible to his fans'. They write long essays about him being problematic with twisted facts and lies. Sometimes, they just make shit up, which later ends up in the permanent record of why he's problematic. They list things he's done wrong and either ignore any apology he made or just say it doesn't count. He never has to apologize, but he does because he actually cares about offending or hurting people. And you know when these anti-fans come out in force? When he has a girlfriend! How odd. They rip every girlfriend to shreds and then say Sebastian is horrible if he defends them. But they also claim every girlfriend is PR. According to them, Sebastian has never had a real girlfriend - only PR girlfriends. A gorgeous actor who is single, funny, and kind, but yet he never has a real relationship that doesn't include a contract? What deluded world are you living in??  And of course, every one of these antifans claims to know about the 'business' enough to know the signs of a PR girlfriend. Every good-looking actor is supposedly in a PR relationship according to these people, even the married ones with kids! But I have questions - why does Sebastian need PR? And he would be more appealing to female fans if he were single. His current girlfriend is a successful actress on her own (and don't bother saying she's not as successful as him because it's impossible to compare). But neither of them need the PR of a relationship. And when you consider how private they have been for 2 yrs, how is it PUBLIC relations??? Most of the pics of them are taken from someone else's Instagram(a friend of a friend of a sister's friend of their agent's brother-in-law's cousin, etc. Seriously, how do you people have the time to cyber stalk to that degree?) or paparazzi pics. Including pics of them on vacation with her parents. A trip with the fam - kinda extreme for a PR relationship! Whether it's real or PR, what does it matter? He's never going to be your man, so stop trying to ruin his life by harassing his GF. You loved her when she replaced the Spanish GF, but then you realized it was serious and started tearing her apart. It's plain jealous, spoiled bitch behavior. "If I can't have him, no one should." It's nauseating. Reality check here - whether he stays with this GF or finds a new one. he will NEVER be your man.
See also:  Parasocial interaction (PSI) refers to a kind of psychological relationship experienced by an audience in their mediated encounters with performers in the mass media, particularly on television and on online platforms.
If you really care about Sebastian, stop analyzing every pic of him with his GF for signs of unhappiness, and just leave them alone to be happy. Its none of your business whether they are happy, or if it's PR, or if she meets with your approval. Sebastian is a grown man who can handle his own love life all by himself.
5. I saw a few posts about him being an asshole on set to the crew. Elizabeth Olsen once said Sebastian hangs out with the crew more than the cast. The crew always raves about him. I just saw a video the other day where a cew member from The Devil All The Time who said he gave $200-300 to each of the lowest paid crew members. God, what a monster!
This type of fuckery is what drove him off social media. When he sorta called out his fans recently, it was after years of abuse from these so-called fans. And if you weren't one doing it, why be offended? It wasn't directed at you. Everyone has their breaking point. When you think about all the fan interaction he used have on Insta like his cute videos, it's truly heartbreaking that these anti-fans drove him away. And they criticize his lack of fan interaction?
The only thing about Sebastian that is truly problematic is part of his fanbase, who are so entitled that they aren't happy unless they spend most of their time trying to destroy his reputation.
If he truly offends you, hit him where it hurts. Stop watching his movies. Stop contributing to his income. Act like he's irrelevant by not even discussing him. And let the real fans enjoy his work in peace.
Oh, and BTW, if you spent hours a day stalking him and his gf's friends and coworkers' Instagrams because he's so problematic, you are kidding yourself - you're obsessed with him. You're a fan.
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northwest-cryptid · 4 months ago
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Limbus company brought more eyes on project moon and got more people interested in the games that's probably one of the best things that can happen to a a game company
It also resulted in them firing a key member of their staff due to sexism in the workplace/from those eyes that got brought to it.
It also resulted in Wonderlab becoming lost media because the artist decided to cut ties with Project Moon.
It also resulted in the CEO being exposed as a total prick who underpaid and overworked staff, is generally weak willed and gives in to sexism, and values money over just about anything. Threatening to sue people for boycotting.
It also expanded the fandom/community from a tight knit fun group to an oversized mess of differing opinions that are generally hostile but that's not really too important over all, just sad to see it happen. I miss the days when the community didn't bicker and argue and fight and complain and shit. That's just how things go when a community becomes bigger, bad for the individual good for the company I suppose. It is what it is.
It also resulted in a boycott for the said horrible things the CEO did.
Like, look we're not arguing here; you don't have to hide behind anon I'm not gonna bite or some shit. I mean hell what do you think I could even do if I knew your URL? Like realistically there's nothing I could do to you anyways not that I'd want to, like why do you think I'd wish you harm? Because we have differing opinions? I agree it financially was very good for the company, but it's the worst thing to have happened both in how the general community around the company shifted, and in how much came to light about the shady business going on at Project Moon and how weak the company was to actually protect their own people, because they don't care about their people.
Project Moon is a company I had a lot of respect for, and it's why I'm very critical of them. I want them to be better, but I don't see that happening, because in spite of ALL of the shit that happened, Limbus is successful and now the CEO knows he doesn't need to worry about doing all that shitty stuff.
Anyways, yea Limbus Company is the worst thing to have happened to Project Moon, this time; I really will not elaborate. I shouldn't have to. I'm not attacking you, I'm criticizing a company for their shitty behavior and actions, primarily that of the CEO.
We have differing opinions on the matter, that is fine. No harm done here my friend. That's just part of being human, we're not always going to agree on stuff.
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britishassistant · 2 months ago
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Saw ur tags abt bg3 paranoid villian yuu being judges for their taste in men and just.. hmm. I wonder who the companions would approve of, if anyone?
I can see Astarion lording his power as yuu's "sibling" (if that bit is canon) over the others like "I'm their sibling, I get a say on who they're dating." Only for the other tadpoles to be like "dude we know by now that was a lie lmao ur not actually their 'big brother'" and then he goes off to sulk in a corner.
On Astarion, I could see him approving of Vil, Azul and the Tweels? Based on his reaction to Ethel/general goofy blood-lust (lol literally) maybe the tweels would be his favourites as teens he can tolerate, whether or not yuu should be dating them though... I can also see him, on one hand relating to jamil's struggles as a servant, and on another hand being pissy, because what's he got to complain about Kalim is annoying but seems to treat him well/put too much faith in him, back in His day the masters you rebelled against were horrible people (we get it astarion you have trauma). I can see him being slightly wary of Malleus, and simultaneously going "holy shit yuu get that bag!!! He's rich as fuck it doesn't matter if you actually like him, marry him for the money! (And then kill him)" Riddle would definitely annoy him, quite frankly I think a lot of the nrc boys would, though I think Rook would be highest on his list of "get the absolute fuck away from me and that tiefling kid I totally dont care about rn".
I can see Gale quite approving of Trey, bc cooking/baking skills, plus he just seems like such a nice young chap! The teeth thing is a little odd but hey we all have strange interests! I think Deuce's heartfelt will to be a better person for his mother would probably strike a chord in him too, he might try and take the poor boy under his wing lol.
Shadowheart is tricky to me, but maybe Jamil? Or Vil? Both are sort of trying to get away from their past and become greater, maybe that would resonate with her. Plus theyre both kinda catty as well. Tbh I just feel like she'd sit in the background sipping wine and making pointed remarks at almost all of them lol. Pretwnds shes above getting invested in teen drama but is always conveniently nearby whenever vil and leona are arguing. (So is Astarion.) Ace might be good actually, as a trickster who is rather mean to everyone, including yuu, but is also impressively ride ir die/protective of them (remember when he punched riddle for being mean to yuu in twst canon? He's a softies for his friends I just know it) Tbh I think either someone she can tease, or someone she can get into a playful bitch-fit with would be good in her book as long as they're treating yuu right.
Lae'zel approves of none of them. They are all distractions from her Gi's training and all are unworthy. They cannot even best the owlbear in single combat. (Imagine her making an offhand comment and some of the more foolhardy boys take this as a challenge lol) Floyd makes a comment about "squeezing his shrimpy" and Lae'zel immidiently instructs yuu on how to crush his ass flat. On one hand, I don't think she'd react well to him calling them food. (From her perspective lol) On the other hand, since physically fighting your lover seems to be a thing for gith, maybe she'd approve of the "courting method" (even if he meant it fully platonically lmao). I think if anyone, Jack's seriousness and drive to improve himself through training might fufill the "bare minimum" for her. Sebeck's loud devotion to Malleus might remind herself of what she was like with Vlakeeth, I wonder how that dynamic would go. Actually she might rather like him, he's trained in combat (silver would be a contender, but his sleeping problem would probably make him unreliable in her eyes), and her and Sebeck sort of speak the same language in a sense, with the whole "I am superior to you and will give you backhanded compliments whenever I try to say smth nice". The fact that he's a dragonborn might help too, from what I remember of Lae's dialouge when I played as one she warmed up to me quicker I think lol. Actually, I wonder if Lae'zel would outright remind Yuu of Sebeck, since the more I think about it the more they seem kinda similar.
I think Wyll would probably like Jack too, along with Deuce, the pair of good boys. He would be able to bond a bit with Deuce over knowing what its like to dissapoint a parent, though his case was much more severe. I think he would absolutely be wary of Azul, considering the whole deal maker thing (especially if magical contracts were brought into play), though honestly I think any boy could win him over of they prove to be genuinely interested in yuu and treating them well lol. Actually, maybe he could resonate with Leona a bit on struggling to live up to parental expectations? Though he'd probably try to gently encourage him to like take up a non-destructive hobby or something.
Oh my god I can't believe I forgot Ruggie when talking abt Astarion. Astarion Absolutely approves of/likes Ruggie. Scratch the tweels, that's his new favourite lol.
I can see Karlach as being similar to Wyll, where she ultimately doesn't rly care abt how yuu is dating as long as the person in question treats them right. Though I can see her really getting along with Kalim, as fellow upbeat party people (aside from the culture shock between rich and poor lol), though I can also see her gently trying to nudge him to become more independent for his own sake lol. (If they're somehow meeting the twst boys pre end of journey, you cannot tell me they don't both think it's a good idea for kalim to use his um on her to try and cool her down, if ums r a thing here lol). I can see her finding Riddle stressful to be honest, why is this small red child giving her homework? She's an adult, and she'd rather not have to read a book of 810 rules today, thank you. She might not say that directly to his face though. I can see her being... wary? A little concerned of boys who appear friendly but you just know are hiding smth, especially if they're rich/business folk cough cough gortash cough cough. (Can't wait to see how yuu reacts to him lmao). I imagine her finding the first year's sweet, since they seem to be such a bonded group lol.
Halsin is another one where I feel like it doesn't rly matter much to him as long as yuu is happy :). Though maybe any boys who are druids may have an edge?
Minthara (if here) approves of absolutely none of them. They are all men, absolutely not. If you really must have a date, yuu, come with her and you two can scope out some more worthy options.
Overall I would like to speculate that, from most to least picky/judgemental abt yuu's dating life, would be: Minthara (If present), Lae'zel, Astarion, Shadowheart, Wyll, Gale, Karlach, Halsin.
Though imagining the eventual reaction of the twst boys to yuu coming home from a horrifying adventure with 6-8 new familial figures is funny.
"Yuu is that- oh gods that's clearly a vampire right next to you ok don't panic ill save you- WHAT DO YOU MEAN "YOU ADOPTED HIM"?" (Astarion jumps in to loudly protest that he the one who did the adopting. Everyone ignores him)
"Yuu is that an owlbear. Yuu where the fuck did you get an owlbear- oH SEVEN ITS HEADING STRAIGHT FOR ME!"
Not to mention the bg3 crew coming together to collectively beat Crowley's ass. They're literally saviours of the world at this point with the skills/power to back it up, what can he really do against them? Crewel just stands back and watches, sipping his coffee and covertly giving them a thumbs up.
Do you have any thoughts on what grim is in this au? Would be funny if he was like, a baby tressym for Tara to fuss over. Or maybe an actual powerful wizard cursed to live in the body of a cat? Who knows.
Yuu comes back from their lifechanging quest to save the world like: "hey guys!! I'm a proper bard now :))" and all their nrc friends are like. "That's cool yuu. Who are all those wierd looking adults behind you that are staring into our souls and where did you get those animals from."
Actually it might be funny if each bg3 companion resonated with one dorm, though I would say it's kinda unrealistic lol. But my organisation brain loves it. Astarion obvi has to be Octoville, Lae'zel I think would work for either Diasomnia or Savanaclaw (both have aspects I think she would like but I also think she'd have issues with certain people), Karlach is Scarabia and not just bc fire=hot, but bc I just think she would vibe so hard with Kalim. She might have a little brother now who's to say. I think Gale could work well with Indihyde (how did I not mention idia in his section. The isolation from ppl/general wasting away alone, I think gale would probably actually take this one under his metaphorical wing and try to gently push idia out of his comfort zone, to the poor boy's discomfort) Wyll is tricky, maybe Diasomnia? Or heartsaybul?? Honestly I have no idea. Shadowheart also stumps me a bit, bit probably Pomifore. Halsin is probably Savanaclaw tbh, and Minthara (again if here), really only would work with Pomifore. That's based more off the vibes of the dorm than the actual characters in them though. Actually, maybe Gale would see the Queen of Hearts rules as a fun little challenge/cultural exchange sort of thing, maybe one of the only ones in the bg3 group who would be excited about and genuinely try to memorise them all. He'd also call out when the others slip up, much to everyone (specifically Astarion)'s annoyance.
Gale: "Ah! You see, Astarion, according to rule #435, one must always tie their shoelaces clockwise on a Saturday! 😏 How silly of you to forget it."
Astarion is fuming. Riddle is wondering if this is what having a father is like (no, riddle, this isn't parental affection, you need serious help).
Sorry this was just a bunch of disorganised thoughts, these two hyperfixations are also hitting me like a frieght train. Hope at least some of it was interesting!
aaaaAAAAH THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR HOW EXCITED I WAS TO RECEIVE THIS ASK!!!
(Which is partially why I took so long in answering it, as I enjoyed rereading it so much)
While Astarion getting to pretend to be the insufferable elder brother he was destined to be is part of an AU focusing on him as the “player” character, I will tell you for free that he and Yuu manage to keep up the sibling act at least until Act 2, when the Shadow-Cursed lands’ lack of nutrition forces them to come clean about the whole “vampire” thing.
Gale, Shadowheart, and Wyll are scandalized. Karlach’s half convinced they’re still related somehow. Lae’zel doesn’t understand what sib-lings are and doesn’t want to.
But no, yeah, I personally headcanon that Astarion is the one who overhears Yuu defending themself from Withers’ questioning of their single status by claiming they’re interested in someone from their old mercenary group rather than any of their current companions…
And once that little tidbit gets shared around the tadpole, and sundry members of that mercenary group start popping up in the Shadow-Cursed lands and in Baldur’s Gate?
Let’s just say Yuu is receiving a lot of unsolicited advice on their taste in men and who is suitable enough to date them.
(Yes, Minthara is there. I accidentally knocked her out because I forgot to turn off the setting after Ethel’s lair, saved her to help bust the prisoners out of Moonrise, and then was weak to puppy-dog eyes when Yuu tried to tell her “I’m still mad about the attempted murder over the grove, go away”. Halsin took being kicked out of his tent with exceptional grace.)
Also Malleus is a black dragon who’s just reached the age where he can take on a human form, though he’s not quite mastered hiding his horns, tail, or various scales depending on his emotions. Astarion and Karlach both get deja vu when they meet him…
The Night Raven mercenaries, for their part, also have opinions about Yuu’s new travelling companions.
These tend to range from excited (“Ah, Yuu, these are the guys you’re travelling with now?! It’s great to meet you!! Hey, hey, Jamil, we should throw a party to celebrate!”) to curious (“Eh, Shrimpy, are you sure these guys are strong? Maybe I should put ‘em through their paces t’ make sure, ehhehehe~”) to opportunistic (“So now that you’re a hero, you won’t go forgetting any of your old buddies, right? It’s good to help out the less fortunate, shihihi.”) to wary (“Y-Y-Yuu-sshi, you do know th-that’s a githyanki, right?? And a devil?? And a vampire, and a Sharran?!? I-it’s like a buffet of super elite flee on sight mooks here, what—whAT DO YOU MEAN THE OTHER TWO ARE GOING TO EXPLODE—?!”) to disdainful (“Hmph. I suppose such ruffians are suited to your scaleless company, but THEY ARE FAR TOO UNPOLISHED TO BASK IN THE GLORY OF LORD MALLEUS!!”) to fervent (“Ah, mon cher ‘tit Trickster, how interessante your friends are! And you are certain I cannot study them more closely?”) to mildly insecure (“W-well ‘s not like it matters because Yuu was adventuring with us first, so—no I’m not bein’ weird Deuce, shutUP!”).
Yuu’s former coworkers all more surprised by Scratch the dog than Munch the owlbear, to be honest. After all, Yuu has a history of getting soft spots for gluttonous little creatures who look cute but will grow into something dangerous. But Yuu being a dog person?! Who could have seen that one coming??
They just hope that this time will go better than it did with that cat-like monster who wanted to be a wizard in the Hells…
As for which houses each of our tadpole gang belong in…this is my take:
Lae’zel: Savannaclaw
Shadowheart: Ignihyde
Astarion: Octavinelle
Gale: Heartslaybul
Wyll: Diasomnia
Karlach: Scarabia
Halsin: Ramshackle
Minthara: Pomefiore
Also not me getting to the bit of Gale’s dialogue where he describes himself as “the villain of this story” and immediately having my brain jump to “Professor Dekarios of Night Raven College” XD XD
He overblots and it’s a timed fight to beat him up before the overblot activates the orb in his chest and everyone gets blown up.
Thank you so much again for sending this ask in!
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lovesunshinefelix · 1 year ago
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Perfect dad
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Tags: dad!skz x reader (no specific member mentioned so just imagine any of them), angst (??), reader has heart eyes for dad!skz
Author's note: hello omg it took me a while to get back to writing 😭 my burn out has been soooo bad since my term break so I hope y'all understand 😭 also really fucking sad about Chan's room 🥹 I seeked so much comfort from that small part of my life until it's suddenly just gone 🥹 so I hope upon reading this fic you'll get a little bit happy somehow. Also, this was in my drafts for a while. I originally thought of this with Felix in mind but I eventually thought that this suits the other members too. I got inspo from watching Modern Family 🥹 I acc love that show so much I think I'm in my fifth rerun 😭 anw I hope you would all love this !
“Rough day?” you asked, closing the car door behind you and giving your husband a kiss upon seeing him pouting in your car. He just nods at you, giving you no explanation whatsoever. You just laughed as he drives away from the grocery store.
You were out running some errands for your family, which left your husband to hang out with his daughters’ boyfriends. You both have 3 children in total, all grown up. Your two daughters all thought it would be a fun idea to have their dad hang out with their boyfriends. At first, he seemed delighted with the idea, picking out itineraries that would be fun for all of them to do. You figured it all came crashing down when he suggested he pick you up, contrast to what you and your eldest daughter talked about. “Tell me what happened?” You asked, to which your husband lets out a fit of rage.
To their boyfriends making him feel out of place, to them complaining about how horrible was the plot of his chosen film for the day, your husband was really frustrated about the day. You really tried listening to his dilemma, but as he was going on to you about how much of an “assholes” their boyfriends were to him, you were just reminded of how good of a dad he is to your daughters; He has been so hands on with them even when they weren't born yet, and this never faded the minute they were born, making sure he could capture everything that they did. From the second they started crawling to babbling, and even walking, he made sure he caught it on camera. From canceling a whole day of work just because they’re sick to rushing to their recitals from a comeback stage. He always made sure that he made it known that he loved his kids and will always do.
“And I really want to get along with them, I really do.” he said, making a turn towards a street you’re unfamiliar with. “But they’re making it so fucking difficult for me.” he said. You just giggled at his complaints, “Love, I’m sure there will be other opportunities for you to have a deeper bond with them in the future.” you said, to which he just huffed at you. “You say that because they already respect you.” he said, “They better! I’m the one who took care of their girlfriends starting from my womb.” you argued, to which you both just laughed. “By the way, did you realize that we’re currently nowhere near home right now?” you asked him with a chuckle. “Oh I did that on purpose. They’re still at home with the girls and I still have a lot to tell you.” he said, taking a sip of the drink he bought before picking you up. “You idiot. I bought some meat and dairy back there!” you exclaimed, chuckling at your husband. “But I still have to complain to you!” he pouted, looking at you for a second before focusing his eyes on the road. “One way or another, they have to have a bond with you if they want to marry our daughters.” You said to him, “You really think so?” he asked, to which you hummed in response. “You were literally the perfect dad for them. If they can’t form a bond with you then I don’t think our daughters would settle for less.” you said, grabbing his hand that was resting on the gear stick and holding it. “I taught them so.” you smiled at him, to which he smiled. You gave him a peck on the cheek and you notice him make his way back to the direction of your home. “Wanna go home already?” you asked. “Yeah, I miss our kids already. Fuck their boyfriends.” he said, to which you just smiled and leaned on his arm.
No matter how well their boyfriends treat your daughters, you always know that they’ll always fall short of him.
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streets-in-paradise · 1 year ago
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Can I have Paris x reader where they are caught in the rain and it's so fluffy and sweet?
Sure, dear 💕 ( and sorry this took me so long)
Things that will grant me your love - Paris x Reader
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Word Count 1.5K (aprox)
Warnings: Helen gets a terrible first impression of Paris ( and so does the reader), but he works hard to correct it
Summary: The political arrangements to seal the pact with Sparta demmands you to get betrothed to each other. Paris knows he has the lapsus of one visit to fall in love with you or your worlds would collapse, but he wasn't expecting it to happen so fas
Joy was hitting every corner of Sparta with the arrival of the trojan princes to discuss the pact of peace ending an historical rivalry between nations. Life in the city was a temporary party, but for you the visit meant much more. Your personal future was being discussed. 
Months before your uncle visited the palace to discuss the diplomatic plan your father proposed. He was very against the idea because he didn't want to abandon his aspirations of conquering the trojans and he was very vocal about it. In front of the dinner table while your stepmother and you were still present Agamemnon said he would never trust in a mere agreement.  Troy had to be bonded to his scepter somehow and the look he gave at you didn't need further explaining. The head of your royal house demanded a marriage alliance as a minimum requirement to accept that political strategy. 
Among the terms of the pact it was most likely that the spartan crown would present a petition of closure through a political marriage in order to appeal the command of Mycenae. The youngest prince, only one who remained unmarried, would have to become your husband. However, while Hector witnessed Menelaus' pride to your easy acceptance of the deal, he faced the shocked refusal of his brother. 
Paris didn't want to marry a stranger, his idealistic romanticism resembled the kind of objections spartans wouldn't even expect from their women. You almost felt a bit sorry for him hearing Helen laugh in response to his complaining. 
" Allow me to differ: You are being extremely immature and dramatical." She explained herself to him. " Is not even a horrible arrangement, I can promise you that this girl is wonderful. Come back crying to me when the best heroes of the country would be fighting for you, only for you to be handed as a trophy to a husband you didn't expect because his brother controls everyone. " 
In short terms, she secretly revealed to him the truth of how she became part of your family. 
" Don't you wish it would have been different?" The prince sincerely asked her. " I'm deeply sorry if you have given up, but I still believe in love. " 
Helen was visibly affected by that simple speech, as if he had accidentally opened a gate he shouldn't. 
" Welcome to Greece, trojan. Marriage comes first, love later if you are lucky. " You mocked him in her defense. " Do you think it will be easy for my people to accept that their princess will be married to a man who doesn't show signs of possessing a single spartan virtue? They are doing a sacrifice for peace, I suggest you follow them in spirit. " 
The cold reply was honest, perhaps a bit too much. 
" Don't go so harsh on him, I still think he is cute. " 
The prince smiled at her, but his face expressed way more than just gratitude. 
It made your blood boil. 
" Don't whore yourself in front of me, bastard!!! " You complained, Helen held your hand so you wouldn't slap him. " I'm your future wife and she will be your in-law. Get used to it. " 
It seemed to be settled as a total failure. His idealistic naivety made him ideologically against it and you weren't very excited about marrying a man who would be flirting with your stepmother. Paris wasn't the first one, but you were frankly tired of feeling like you had to compete against her.  She wouldn't even try, so you couldn't blame her for always stealing all the attention. Over time you had become friends, but you would never understand why your father thought he would be happy with that marriage. They had nothing in common besides his enjoyment of her beauty bringing them together. 
An alarming fact in which you resembled him, since the first trait you found attractive in your soon to be arranged fiance was his good looks. It was all you had as comfort after that disastrous exchange and you hated that. Despite loving your father, you would never want to have a marriage like his. Prince Hector attempted to reassure you because he valued your efforts in trying to make the deal work for everybody. He said Paris was going to end up surprising you if you would give him time, but you couldn't believe him untill the concrete demonstrations began.
Courtship by Prince Paris of Troy was a spectacle, his concept of romance was all about big displays. He was in love with love itself and those huge gestures were his own way to gain interest in you. To you it was all compensation performance, believing nothing could have changed since that flirty exchange he had with Helen. It was a matter of time until your father and you would get both cheated on, or at least you expected so. Those were the concerns occupying your mind until the most humble of his initiatives changed everything. 
An invitation to a hunting trip, informal passing formality to build bonds with your father that both princes had to participate in. Although he noticed you loved to be included, it was all an elaborate excuse to get lost in the wild with you. Guessing that his bowman skills would be enough to protect you both from the unfamiliar nature,  he would have hours and hours to talk with you all alone. 
Tired of walking and hesitant of his intentions, you called him out for it and released your frustration for everything. 
“ You did this on purpose… WHY? Why are you always doing insane things around me? I was fine with it when it was just a dashing smile while bringing me flowers, or when you made the bard sing that song in my honor … but this has gone too far. And for what? Just to convince the world that you don’t want Helen from the beginning and you are just conforming with taking me because you can’t have her.” 
Refusing to give one more step before he would answer, even though the gathering of clouds darkening the sky was a bad signal, you rested your back against a rock nearby.The change in the physiognomy of the terrain indicated that you must have arrived close to Mount Taygetus. 
Paris followed you and began to chuckle. 
“ Is that what you think I’m doing? My sweetest lady, how clueless you are to the real treatment a woman is worth!” He explained himself. “ I’m helping you adjust to me and how I expect to treat my wife, listing things that will grant me your love.” 
Your skeptical look was like a dagger being pointed at him. 
“ Then you are worse than what I thought! A merchant of deception, a ruthless seductor. You seek to win over your wife and mistress in a single try! Bring shame to my house and hope my infatuation would save you from the punishment of my father! I warn you, trojan. I will not protect you from a well deserved death.” 
“ Lovely titles, luckly born from misconceptions. “ He mocked your anger in a calming tone. “ My ephemeral mesmerizing with the queen was true, but i never claimed it to be love. If that would be the case, my dear, there would be no mortal force stopping me. I was told I must marry you to save the world, but for loving someone else I wouldn´t mind to burn it. I'm still beside you, willing to accept the interlacing of your destinies and that alone should tell you the veracity of my intentions."
The prince was getting dangerously closer to you, but curiosity impeeded you from stopping him.
" Would you believe me if i tell you that imagining new ways to make you fall for me day after day has made me a victim of my own tricks? " He sweetly confessed. " I have noticed how lovely you look when you are tired of me, but i also realized why. You don't believe in love, you are constantly making excuses and I have fallen for you loving the chance of showing you how love feels like. "
The divine looking charm of his beautifull face may had eased the persuasion, but he wasn't done yet.
" Noble spartan, always ready to sacrifice for your warrior homeland. I know i will never match your ideal husband, but I can fill you with love if you would let me. For my terrible reaction before getting to know you, i apologise, now i beg you to consider me from the deepness of your heart. Can it be space left in it for me?"
The sky darkened further and thunder rumbled, heralding the fall of rain.
You smiled, taking it as a prosperous signal inviting you to trust the sensitive awakening you were feeling. Ríght afterwards you iniciated the first kiss just as he was extending his cape to cover you both from the rain drops.
Heated passion was the only spartan value Paris felt sure of sharing with you.
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pianocat939 · 2 years ago
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Hi celina! I'm a new asker but I've been reading your work for a while! Specifically your rottmnt work:)
Could I request a yandere platonic turtles x Gn!reader who's willing? Like just completely accepts that they've been taken from they're life on the surface to live with 4 Mutant turtles in the sewers lol. And maybe reader gets babied and really enjoys it bc I feel like that would be really cute😭
I want nothing more than for my comfort characters to baby and take care of me ngl so I'm definitely projecting
And if its available could I be anon 💨?
Xoxo
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Indulgent aren't we? Well you're not alone my friend. We all are.
You're 💨 anon now.
Tw: overprotective, honestly really fluffy
Platonic Yandere Turtles with Willing MC
"Leo, if they come out the portal with even the tiniest little scratch I'm going to kick you to Bulgaria." Raph crosses his arms and stares down at Leo, uncertainty in his eyes.
"M'kay, I'll just ask for a train to go to the penguins." Leo holds out his sword, ready to create portal when Donnie interrupts him.
"Wait! I need to settle down the safety cushions, and the net if they come flying through plus the-" As he settled down the reinforcements Mikey intervenes.
"Slippers!" The orange-masked turtle places down a pair of slippers, clasping his hands together. "Leo! Send them through, pretty please?"
Leo looks behind, "I would've done it earlier if you guys weren't so particular about me portaling them!" He once again holds out his sword in front of him, then swishes it in a circular motion. An electric blue portal appears instantly, glowing brilliantly.
Momentarily after, a person shoots out from the gateway, landing straight into the net that Donnie held with his robot arms. They groan, opening their drowsy eyes.
"I told you guys! Safety protocol is important!" The scientist exclaims, untangling the victim of the net.
——————————————————
The boys love that you accept their appreciation for you! Now they get to baby you all they want, and you don't even complain!
I would say those who love this the most are Leo and Mikey. Leo likes providing for you so he can be deemed useful, and Mikey just loves serving you in any way.
If you don't like moving too much, or just feel lazy at times, then ask Raph. He loves carrying you around wherever. He's also a great person to sleep/nap with. His big arms are great if you ever want to feel extra safe. Will not let you touch hot food.
Leo is such a fucking try-hard for this that it's hilarious. If you wanna talk, he'll be right there, listening for every word. Do you feel sad? Let his one-liners and horrible jokes make you cringe so hard you laugh! Do you ever feel unsafe? Don't worry, your friend's got you covered!
D'Nello babies in a similar sense to Raph, but more critical. He makes sure your body is having a healthy intake of its needs: the amount of sleep, hydration levels, nutrition, and anything of similar sorts is managed by him. Is your sugar friend(?): he buys anything you want or need.
Mikey is also another cuddler like Raph, except he likes to clutch onto your arm or hand while you guys wander around the lair. He likes doing everything with you! (Well, most activites) If you're an artist, you guys can draw together, or if you're a pianist (totally not projecting) he'll sit down and listen to you play!
If you're ever sick or hurt, they're swarming around you. Both panicked and serious about getting you back in health. Donnie's going to be the worst one out of them all though. He won't leave your side unless he absolutely has to or is fetching something.
All of them will try to partake in your interests. Donnie probably will only do this because it's about you, his favorite person in the universe.
They have a hidden "who's the favourite chart" underneath one of Donnie's structures. Every week they try to debate who's the favourite.
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The guilty fantasy of wanting to be babied is overpowering meeeee.
- Celina
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hoes4hoseok · 2 years ago
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enhypen as sour
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...so i said i'd finish my work before posting another but i couldn't help it I PROMISE I'LL FINISH IT EVENTUALLY THOUGH. thanks for reading, y'all!
ni-ki as brutal
"they'd all be so disappointed, 'cause who am i if not exploited?"
some maknaes give me such unmistakable teenage angst energy (as i showed by choosing hueningkai for jealousy, jealousy)
&& ni-ki is not an exception imo!! he's also actually seventeen i kinda had to ✋
anyway yeah ni-ki's life is great in some ways but it also sucks in other ways, just like olivia depicts in the song
like yeah he's in a big k-pop group but also he's been through so much 🤧. this obviously does not mean that he's in any hurry to grow up, but y'all get my point (i hope)
sunghoon as 1 step forward, 3 steps back
"which lover will i get today? will you walk me to the door or send me home crying?"
sunghoon is not the type to stay with you if he doesn't like you
but in this case, he's conflicted. (ultimately, he does not like you enough to not toy with your feelings, but alas...)
&& yeah, he might regret it soon after acting cold, but that doesn't matter because he'll act nice but do it again & possibly repeat until the end of the relationship
oh god, heartbreaker sunghoon, y'all!! it's a concept!! that i live by!! (i'm not okay.)
sunoo as deja vu
"a different girl now, but there's nothing new, i know you get déjà vu"
sunoo would totally do the same activities with multiple partners 😭
he wouldn't think it's a big deal though?? he'd associate the things with good times, not people
it would suck but there's not much you can do about it
on the CONTRARY...he'd probably be pissed about you doing the same stuff with other people
especially if the break-up was on you
he'd complain to his friends about it & they'd be on his side in either situation (so would i, sorry y'all)
heeseung as enough for you
"don't you think i loved you too much to think i deserve nothing?"
this scenario is a real tragedy to imagine so i'm sorry about that 😭
just as with any relationship, if you were with heeseung, he would have to love you just as much as you do him.
&& if a relationship with him fell apart it would feel particularly bitter because there would be little warning signs along the way that you didn't think were a big deal
like the whole line about him not complimenting her makeup ✋🙄 (come on bro,, it's not that hard!!)
the real tragedy is that he didn't want more from you...he just didn't want you
anyways 🤠 like she said!! you'll find someone who does find you exciting :)
jake as happier
"i hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me"
it would be so hard to hate jake after a break-up 😭 especially if he was kind about it & took your feelings into account
even more so if it's been a while since the two of you called it quits & you should have moved on but you haven't
because tbh who would be able to?
&& seeing him with someone else would leave you conflicted because how could you possibly be upset with him? or his new partner?
so you'd kind of have to suck it up :( & hope he isn't as happy as he was with you :(
jay as favorite crime
"know that i loved you so bad, i let you treat me like that"
so this song is about partially blaming yourself after a heartbreak, because you "let" them treat you like that
getting dumped by this man would be so devastating
again, it would be slow -- even if you tried your hardest to hold on because you wanted him so badly, he would end up letting go in the end
it's such a horrible feeling. i don't wish it upon anyone.
anyways...before you know it 🚨 wee-ooo wee-ooo 🚨! ur heart is broken! 💔🚔 (sorry i just felt compelled to do that idk)
jungwon as hope ur ok
"somehow we fell out of touch, hope he took his bad deal and made a royal flush"
as i said in my txt post, this album only has 11 songs, so this one is also assigned to soobin
&& tbh i have a pretty similar reason for choosing it but i think jungwon would be the one thinking about his old friends & acquaintances (rather than his friends thinking of him, which i said for soobin)
he seems to have a really kind heart, & the reason he's the leader of enhypen is because he's so caring
oh wow 🤧 got myself in my feels about him thinking of his i-land buddies 🤧 i'm gonna go now
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txt version ☆ emails i can't send version ☆ masterlist
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