#i'm kind of heartbroken tbh :')

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Reminder that the Dazai's Entrance Exam audiobook comes out tomorrow! It's narrated by Patrick Seitz, Kunikida's English dub voice actor!

Here are all the places you can buy it:

Barnes & Noble

Audible

Google Play

Apple Books

Libro.fm

[stabbingandorbeingstabbed]

okay well if none of you wants to move to chicago with me in october what about brooklyn does anyone want a roommate in nyc please please please im ALMOST convinced i could do it with a roommate or two but my current roommates don't want bean to come and we're a package deal 😭😭😭

[heartlilith]

My Placements and How They Manifest

Capricorn Ascendent:

My mother told me that when she gave birth to me, it was worse than my other 3 other siblings by far. She had to be induced because there was no sign of me wanting to come out into the world (lol). She said she was in labor for hours and when I finally came out, she started hemorrhaging. It wasn't fatal obviously because she's alive today but yeah, I kind of associate that with my Capricorn rising. Still to this day, change is very uncomfortable for me especially if I have no control over what's happening. My childhood was great until my mom divorced my dad and remarried, that's when shit went south! I had new siblings, a stepfather, and had to see my dad heartbroken while also battling melanoma and being laid off (2008 recession). My sister stayed with him and I went with my mom. They were always fighting and spiting each other but it was my sister and I that missed out. It was always "what is your father saying about me?" yada yada yada. Growing up, I was bullied by my sister a lot, in my opinion, it was more than the usual sibling fights. My mom also took a lot of her anger out on me; she ended up getting a divorce not too long after remarrying, became an alcoholic and filed for bankruptcy. Being a Capricorn rising and dealing with the backlash of that, I always have money saved, ALWAYS. I'm like a squirrel hiding nuts I stg. If I'm completely broke I'm an anxious mess. It's also why I strive to be independent and self sufficient. It's why I manifest being filthy rich. High school was terrible tbh and I battled with depression and anxiety. College was a lot better and moving away from my mom and chaotic family did me well, I went from a 2.6 GPA in high school to 3.85 in college. Rereading this it sounds kinda like a sob story and that's not what I'm trying to accomplish so I'm just going to move on.

1st House Neptune, Uranus, Lilith:

I made a separate post either on here or Reddit about how my features have changed so much over the years. As a child, my hair was blonde then it turned blonde/red in late elementary school. Since then, it's turned darker and darker through the years. Now it's dark brown. My eyes were dark blue as a child and now they're light green - I attribute this to Uranus and Neptune being on my Ascendent. In my opinion, I'm not photogenic at all (Cap rising?) and I think I look different in every picture I take or is taken of me. With Lilith being in my first house, I was sexualized a lot growing up by older guys/men. And also bullied by boys my age; I remember they thought I was "too girly". Guys, I shit you not after I had enough of it, I started showing up with boy shorts and those tank tops guys wear HAHAHA to be more of a "tomboy"... I'm not really sure what that is but yeah, I must've been 10 or 12 or something. People would always say "it's because they have a crush on you/because they like you!" and I would be so confused. Nowadays, I think I rub some people, specifically men, the wrong way and they dislike me for "no reason", or maybe they have a reason but they never come out and say it. My Uranus in the 1st shows up as being quirky I guess? I'm not really sure. Maybe it's that my parents were never disciplinary at all, I could do whatever I wanted. At the time I loved it but deep down I think I wanted to them to care, so I would act more and more reckless. Today, maybe that sets me apart. One last thing about Neptune/Uranus in the 1st is that I can't stand to see people treating people/animals/or what have you, the wrong way. I can't even watch Youtube videos of animals starting off abused... even if the videos end with them being happy and healthy, I CAN'T DO IT. It deeply disturbs me.

Side Note (1st House Lilith):

As a small child I was obsessed with being naked all the time and skinny dipping LMFAO like it was a problem. Luckily there were no creeps and I was fine but would this placement indicate that in anyway? Let me know because it doesn't really fit with my Capricorn rising.

(I'm really sorry this post is so long and detailed I think I'm having word vomit)

Virgo Moon:

As a child I was really reserved and "chill". I already talked about my relationship with my mom and she was critical and whatever. One thing that sticks out about this placement is that she would always push the idea on me to "stay pure" and to "stay innocent", especially when I was a teen. Always pushing this on me. Always telling her friends I was "naive" and yeah maybe I was in a sense. I don't know it's weird how that fits. My mom wasn't all bad though. She definitely had many faults but she was a great mom in certain aspects. Growing up, I realized she's just a human like me, with problems of her own. I don’t hold it against her. Today, my Virgo moon makes me sooo anxious and worrisome. I definitely see the negative qualities it brings but the good qualities out weigh them. I love buying people gifts and I'm a great gift giver if I do say so myself. With my Capricorn rising and Virgo moon, I hate PDA and it can be hard for me to be lovey dovey (even with all my Leo), so I show love by buying gifts - kind of like my dad. My parents were never there for me emotionally but they bought me great gifts hahaha, I guess that's why. Also I tend to "mother" my partners; I do their laundry, do the cleaning, make their doctor appointments, and take care of them in a sense - like my mom did for me. Writing this out I can now see why I am the way I am lol.

Moon square Jupiter, Pluto, and Saturn:

Ooooff. Well I won't dive into it too much. I will say it affects my mental health greatly and I've had a lot of trouble in that department. My Moon square Jupiter really makes my moods go up and down. Like high highs and low lows for sure. I try to look at it positively even though it's hard sometimes. Having the high highs brings out my inner child (Jupiter in the 5th). When I'm happy I'm really happy and giggling and silly. And of course the flip side is low low :( But I like the high highs so I deal. Also with this, I tend to avoid being sad at all costs. All costs. I'm a true escape artist when it comes to emotions. With Pluto and Saturn squaring my Moon, I am infact a MOODY BITCH. LOL, hey at least I can admit it. It brings intrusive thoughts, obsessive thinking, insecurity, and guilt with it too - all that great stuff. Moving on.

Cancer Mercury:

I like my Cancer Mercury a lot, even though it's paired with my all my Leo placements which can make me a ~smidge~ dramatic. I wasn't the best student in high school but I did take the hardest English courses they offered, which in hindsight saved my GPA lol. In college, I studied English with a concentration in creative writing. I mostly wrote and studied poetry which I loved so much. I'm a great listener and if I could write an advice column I would. I love how my Cancer Mercury makes me empathetic and how I'm able to put myself in anyone's shoes. One negative about this placement is that I get hurt easily (paired with Leo Sun and Virgo Moon esp), but I won't let you know I'm hurt, I'll just get angry and mean. I don't like that about myself and I wish I was more vulnerable in that aspect but it's easier to be angry than sad... right?

Leo Venus and Mars:

After talking about all the above placements, my Leo side is definitely my ray of sunshine in a way. I feel like with my Virgo Moon and the aspects it makes, it kinda settles my Leo ego. That's not to say I don't have an ego, I definitely do... just look at this post it's all about meee :) I have pictures of when I was 3-6 years old and flexing my muscles hahaha and I thought I was so strong I would go around and show everyone that I could pick my mom and older sister up. So weird. Other than that, when I dislike someone I tend to go on rant for awhile about everything I dislike about them. My least favorite thing is when someone makes me feel inferior or small, that will put me on 10 easily. I don't get mad all that much, it takes a lot but when I do get mad, I see red. Maybe cause I have Mars at 0 degrees. I do get over things quickly though, emotionally anyway, but I do hold a grudge. Also yesss, I have Leo hair. It's long and thick and hard to manage. Growing up, my mom would never let me color or cut it and I'm kinda glad now looking back on it.

8th house Moon & Venus:

This is why I hold grudges hahaha. In my opinion, the 8th house can be hard to understand/put into words until you experience it (in synastry, transit, natal, etc), then you just know. With Venus here, every person I'm romantically involved with transforms me but also takes a piece of me as well. In my experience with the 8th house, you can gain a lot of good things but it comes with a price. Whether its a mix of my placements or just these placements specifically, love really hurts! Break ups have put me in dark dark places. When I do love someone, I want to merge with them, like become "one" if that makes sense. So when it comes to an end, I have a huge hole left. In my life, this has manifested as when I ran away from home to a different state and ghosted my family and friends just to get back together with my boyfriend, all on a whim. I'd give it all up for someone I love. With Virgo Moon being in my 8th house, my anxiety mixes with my obsessive behavior which manifests as dermotillamania. I struggle with it so bad. I'm working on it but yeah that's kinda interesting looking from an astrological sense. Moon in the 8th house gives me great intuition though... I'm always right about the vibes. But this comes at the cost of feeling things extremely deeply.

Scorpio MC:

This is another placement that I like about my chart because my Capricorn rising makes me come off as intimidating and my MC makes people see me as powerful and mysterious. I don't know if people actually see me this way but even it being a possibility gives me like Olivia Benson vibes. I love her. Anyway, one thing I will say is I don't have social media anymore and haven't for years (besides Tumblr and Reddit) because I really value my privacy. I don't like people knowing things about me unless I decide to share it with them, even small things. Tumblr and Reddit are okay in my mind because I don't know anyone in real life. But even this post I'm already thinking of deleting and I haven't even posted it yet lol. When I did have social media, I would overshare and then delete the post an hour later. I was always deleting pictures and revamping my aesthetic. I became obsessed with likes and comments and scrolling that it was too much and I didn't like the power it had over me. Something else that I think manifests from my MC is that I love psychology, astrology, and things that tie into personalities.

5th house Jupiter & Saturn:

It always confused me on how to interpret having Saturn, the planet of limitations and responsibility, and Jupiter, the planet of expansion and luck, in the same house. I thought that they canceled each other out in a way, or level each other out... is a better way of putting it.  I actually messaged @astrosky33 and asked how they interpret it. Her (?) answer was interesting and made a lot of sense. Jupiter and Saturn in the same house gives off both energies at the same time (why didn't I think of that? lol). So for the 5th house, in terms of my hypothetical kids, I would be a parent that has fun and is silly but also strict in some ways and responsible. One way Saturn in my 5th house manifests is that I don't want to do anything creative unless I feel it's productive in some way, which I don't like about myself. Meaning, I don't want to read a book if the genre is fantasy, I would rather read non-fiction or a self help book; something that I can learn from. Also, I really like hobbies where I can produce something, like making candles or making spell jars. If I can make money from a hobby that I love then even better. Jupiter in the 5th house manifests as being child-like and also loving kids. If things are going well and I'm happy, then I can be excited and goofy like a child. If things aren't going well, then I can throw a tantrum like a child. I love kids because my early childhood was the best time of my life before life hit me upside the head (lol). This past Halloween, I made goodie bags for the trick or treaters and got so excited when the doorbell rang. I don't know, I just want to protect kids and shield them from the bad in the world. Kids, out of everyone, deserve to be happy.

Sun sextile Jupiter:

Things tend to work out for me, well, as of lately anyway. I struggled a lot growing up and I was always wishing my life were different. I couldn't wait to leave home. Now, I have a boyfriend who I love very much and we live very comfortably. I have a great job and I am so much happier than I was before. Of course, life isn't always perfect and there are problems at every turn. I wish I could go back in time and tell 15 year old me that everything is going to be okay, more than okay actually. I have a dog and two kittens who I love very much and I'm very fortunate to have the life that I do. I try to stay positive because there's no point in being negative and sulking all the time. Plus, you never know what can happen so be thankful for what you have, even if in your eyes, it isn't enough. I believe in being nice to people, you never know how far one act of kindness can go. Lord knows I needed it during some pretty tough times in my life.

Venus square Saturn (TW: Eating disorder, drug use, phobias):

Going back to having fear of abandonment and being uncomfortable with PDA... well here is the culprit. Or some of the culprit. Since Venus is in my 8th house, I feel like this aspect plays into my fear of my family dying, more specifically, my parents. Whenever I visit home and I see they look a little older, move a little slower, I get really sad. Their birthdays are supposed to be for celebrating but I can't help but get sad. It takes over me and I obsess about what I'm going to do when the day comes and they're not here anymore. I put on a brave face though and I buy them nice gifts and send flowers on holidays... but it's always in the back of my mind. This aspect also manifests as having low self esteem and growing up this was very prevalent. I didn't care about myself at all; I did drugs, I put myself into bad situations that I get anxiety just thinking about what could've happened. I had an eating disorder, dated boys that were awful. I'm fortunate that I made it out okay. I still have insecurities today but during that time in my life it was so intense because even as a teen without this aspect, you deal with insecurities. It was like double trouble.  

If you read this far, thank you. I hope it was semi-interesting and Im really curious to know what you guys think. Should I make a part 2? I’m feeling a little “out there” by posting this so I hope it's not too much. Thanks again for taking the time to read this.

(let me know what you think!)

[misojunnie]

i find the vampire and werewolf rivalry dynamic really funny for whatever reason, so may i request some &team hcs with a friend/partner who’s a vampire while they’re… yknow, werewolves?

oh the shenanigans they would get up to

☆ &team as your werewolf bf! w/ a vampire partner ;)

ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ʚϊɞ.

byun eui joo - ej

wasn't really objected to you being a vampire tbh. if anything, he was kinda interested

the quiet, kind-hearted typa guy to be like "it doesn't matter if we're different species, love is love, right?"

crazy clingy, and loves your fangs. he has fangs himself, but they're nowhere near as sharp and long as yours are. he loves admiring them when you smile and when he kisses you

loves that you're a vampire. it took zero time to get used to it

by now he knows all your needs by heart <3

murata fuma - fuma

shocked to discover you were a vampire, but not necessarily unhappy about it

when other werewolves are around you, his protective instincts kick in immediately and he's ready to die to protect you

you tried to hide your relationship for a while, but he gave up quick

he couldn't help it, he always wanted to show you off <3

rolls his eyes when you hiss at his werewolf friends (who aren't exactly fond of you)

koga yudai- k

considering how passionately khan hates vampires, I think k would probably share that trait tbh

was heartbroken when he realized you were one of his mortal enemies. it took him months to recover

but once he got adjusted to it, he could give a fuck what other people think

he proudly shows you off, even around the other werewolves. he doesn't care what they say, and if they threaten you? he won't hesitate to rough them up

drags a dead deer home every week or so, so you can feed <3

wang yixiang- nicholas

was shocked when he found out the cutie in his chem class was actually a vampire, AKA his worst enemy

he was disgusted. he's a prideful guy, so it took him a long time to accept that he was in love with a literal vampire (he couldn't stay away and ended up apologizing with a cute date <3)

secretly loves it when you bite him (teehee)

when you fight, expect fangs out and full blown screaming matches fueled by millennia of ancestral beef. lmao

"you think i'm high maintenance? try dating someone who literally lives off sucking life force!"

nakakita yuma - yuma

scandalized by the fact that you're a vampire. you told him after you started dating, and he had to break up with you for 2 weeks as a grieving period

the adjustment period was long, but now he knows just about everything there is to know about vampires

always ready to debate vampire/werewolf history with you

"uh, no. the battle of 1824 was obviously the vampires' fault. you broke the peace treaty, not us."

always puts on dracula because he thinks it's your favorite movie. it totally isn't, but he means well, so you don't tell him otherwise

asakura jo - jo

figured out you were a vampire like three weeks before you broke the news. he decided to stay with you anyway bc he doesn't really care what the other werewolves think

brings you coffee when you crave blood bc he thinks it'll help

you're the extroverted drama queen and he's the stoic, introvert bf

is very in tune to your needs, and won't hesitate to kill a literal human being to satisfy you (you tell him not to, though)

"I know you're a vampire, but you need to get your blood lust in control. I'm your boyfriend, not a piece of meat."

shigeta harua - harua

when you told him you were a vampire, he listened to his pack and dumped you, but followed his heart since and won you back <3

like ej, very in tune to your needs and wants

comes back from "hanging with the boys" carrying a huge dead deer/cow/etc, covered in blood with a huge smile on his face

"I brought dinner! do you like it?" "it's definitely bloody..."

all in all, he just wants to make sure you're feeling comfortable and happy <3

ta-ki

didn't really care that you were a vampire. k initially gave him flack, but he ignored it until his friends gave up

sunshine x sunshine protecter irl. he's just happy to be there, and you're ready to kill for him, need be

but watch out; insulting you is a one way ticket to seeing his dark side (even if you're his friend/one of his kind)

loves double dates, and even introduced some of his werewolf friends to your vampire friends. you two singlehandedly repair the relationship of the species in your city <3

hirota riki - maki

did not gaf that you're a vampire. loves you too damn much to care what species you are

loves bear hugs, but constantly underestimates his inhuman strength. will try to hug you and accidentally tackle you

gets crazy sassy with you when you argue, eg; "don't bare your fangs at me while i'm speaking."

loves running away with you at night to hunt, wander the streets, and generally fuck around. midnight walks are his favorite, and luckily he never has to worry about being cautious during the night, considering you're both the strongest beings on the planet

locks himself in his room during full moons bc he gets embarrassed about transforming in front of you lol

ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ʚϊɞ.

a/n: omg this was so cute... I usually struggle with the werewolf stuff bc it annoys me so bad but this was actually rlly fun... maybe i'm warming up to the werewolf concept 🤔😇

[sky-kenobye]

Fic idea that I've been obsessing over in the last couple of days:

TLDR: Obi-Wan gets dumped on his wedding day, Anakin suggests they get married instead to save Obi-Wan the humiliation (and money), he agrees, they get married and nobody realises the stunt they pulled (except for the few people they told), and they both realise that actually it's great to be married to each other and that they wouldn't have it any other way, and probably get their happily ever after.

(A lot more details under the cut for those who are interested!)

Obi-Wan is getting married to someone (I was thinking Satine at first but I don't want to bash on her just because she's in the way of my ship so let's say an original character 🤷), Anakin is his best man, and it's a kinda big and traditional wedding and they did the 'you can't see your bride until the ceremony' stuff, so Obi-Wan is already at the city hall(?), while the bride will be coming later, just before the start of the ceremony.

It's less than an hour before the start and some early guests are already getting there. One of the bride's guest (Padmé?) is arriving when she gets a phone call from the bride, telling her that the wedding is canceled, sorry for calling at the last minute but she had to call all the guests and she was the last one. At the same time Anakin is coming out of the building for whatever reason and Padmé is like 'wdym it's canceled? The best man is here, and I can see other guests!'. The bride kinda panicks and hangs up, and Padmé flags Anakin down to ask what's going on.

He's also baffled because Obi-Wan didn't say it was cancelled, he's ready to get married and everything and he saw him about 10 seconds ago. They try to call the bride back but she doesn't answer, then they try to call another guest of the bride that Padmé knows. She answers and they learn that apparently the bride called in the morning and said that Obi-Wan had cancelled the wedding and dumped her at the last minute and they were each calling their half of the guests to tell them not to show up (which is clearly a bunch of lies from the bride).

They go and explain all of this to Obi-Wan who's confused and angry and heartbroken. He manages to get on the phone with the bride who properly dumps him, and by that time there's very little time before the ceremony was supposed to start. Most of the (Obi-Wan's) guests are there, and it's kind of (very) humiliating to have to go in front of all these people that he knows and tell them "wedding cancelled, I've been dumped, you can go home", and on top of that it wasn't a super cheap wedding so that sucks, and the catering is already ready so he'll have to throw away a ton of food? Not a great situation.

So Anakin has an idea: what if they get married instead? It's crazy so Obi-Wan tries to argue against it:

We can't get fake married! Then let's get real married!

People will still know I've been dumped and I'm pathetically trying to save face! None of the bride's guests will be there so i doubt it.

It was still her name on the wedding announcement. Okay then, maybe she dumped you like idk a month ago and I took the opportunity to declare my secret love for you!

And we got married less than a month later? It's hard and expensive as shit to cancel a wedding on such a short notice so we took the opportunity! It's not so unrealistic for me and I could probably convince you to do it.

But then we'll be married. Yeah, so? There are worst things in the world.

Obi-Wan is skeptical but not saying no yet, and Padmé is like 'honestly coming from anybody else I'd think they lost it, but from you two? I can see it. Not even sure I'd be all that surprised tbh'.

Obi-Wan's not having a great time and getting married to Anakin sounds a thousand times better than telling people what actually happened so he says fuck it let's do it.

They form a quick battle plan: Obi-Wan will go talk to the officiant to change the bride's name to anakin's (is it legally possible in any country? Probably not but let's pretend it is and that the marriage is still valid), Anakin will find them new best men/women (probably quinlan for obi-wan and ahsoka for anakin? Or padmé since she's already in the loop) and brief them on the situation, and Padmé will find a ring that fits Anakin (she borrows one of the guest's, maybe Owen Lars'?).

Only a few minutes late, they come out in front of all the guests, do a quick speech explaining the unexpected change (with a few lies of course), and the ceremony begins. Everything goes smoothly, Obi-Wan improvises very moving (and actually 100% honest) wedding vows, Anakin is crying and forgot they needed wedding vows but manages to put a few sentences together which are equally as honest as Obi-Wan's and make people cry too (they think he forgot his vows because of the emotion). They put the rings on each other, kiss and all of that, and when they leave the building they're both beaming so wide that it doesn't occur to anybody to be suspicious, the grooms look so happy and in love!

Then it's time for the reception and everybody has a great time, the grooms have a very sweet first dance, and they're all over each other the entire evening, how adorable! And if they disappear for a little while (Obi-Wan may be happy to get married to Anakin but he still just got dumped, so he may want to have a few minutes to breath in a quiet corner and get a good hug) then everybody assumes they're making out in a closet or something. Owen laughs at them for forgetting the rings (which is what he assumes is the reason they needed his ring), and they get a lot of friendly ribbing for 'keeping their wedding a secret' from pretty much everybody.

And maybe after a few drink they do really disappear to make out and decide that marrying your best friend that you've always kind of been into without ever admitting it is pretty amazing actually.

[daisybianca]

liked by user72829, user10281 and 2,092,818 others

celebnewsofficial Finally!!! We adore those two together! ❤️

view all 335.193 comments

user71919 OMFG I JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK. OMG, I REPEAT.

user82920 supporting #dannyyn till the day I die.

user62828 #dannyyn ❤️

user00172 our babies... #dannyyn

redbullracing #dannyyn !!!

user11738 WHAT THE H-

dannyricfp is max running this account or what🥸

maxverstappen1 I am not.

user72822 we won't believe you sir.

landonorris just woke up to THIS. I'm rather fairly disappointed.

user62828 DID I JUST HEARD THE BRITISH ACCENT😭

user72820 YOU SURELY WEREN'T THE ONLY ONE. Bruh F1 is conquering my life and I can't do anything about it. (nor I want to tbh)

landonorris @ danielricciardo so... some random gossip acc is posting about our person life now and you ain't doing anything about it?

user72888 he's totally heartbroken 💔😢

maxverstappen1 I love this more than my trophies

danielricciardo congrats on your accomplishment, man! you just won the award of the clownest of the year! 🏆🤡👍

maxverstappen1 I am pretty sure clownest isn't even a word and I'm Dutch🥸

danielricciardo stop embarrassing me. I'm an old man. Show some respect.

maxverstappen1 you betrayed me, buddy🤧

yourusername is this a romantic quarrel orrr😠

danielricciardo it's nothing, babe❤️

maxverstappen1 I hate you. #dannymax

f1obsessed why are the drivers commenting and spamming on this one here but when it actually comes to an interview... their speech reminds me of a 6-year-old's😭

user72828 they are our babies.

liked by f1fans, maxverstappen1 and 213.482 others

dannyricfp I'm so in love with them and max is feeding my obsession

view all 2.082 comments

user11928 in my mind, I'm married to Danny so y/n came kind of second here

user01904 AHAHAHAH. WHY IS THIS SO RELATABLE.

maxverstappen1 the only thing I'm feeding is my special shelf with trophies

danielricciardo shut up your entire career is a joke just like your alcohol tolerance

maxverstappen1 you know too much

user92999 my poor babies💀

user91118 I love them so much that it actually hurts to know they have no idea I exist😫

user27388 for real🥺

yourusername max verstappen must be canceled

maxverstappen1 who invited you here?

danielricciardo I did.

●○•°•○●

requests are always open for my wags <3

[from-izzy]

[17:58] | tbz kim sunwoo

» ​PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x gn!reader (proofread a couple of times but pls tell me if i missed something!)​ » TROPE/AU​: friends to ??, friends to strangers, friends to 'just classmates', miscommunication (?) trope, i'm sorry i have no idea how to explain this tbh..., high school au!, non-idol au! » GENRE​: angsty hurt but fluffy comfort, 'friendship' breakup (with the intention of coming back together when time is right!), they both say "i love you" to each other and it's meant to be platonic but it can be interpreted romantically, if you do interpret it romantically then mutual pining that is somewhat figured out in the end???, sunwoo is also very comforting, loving, patient and understanding to reader's own worries and trusts reader in their personal journey as they figures out their own hardships in life » WORD COUNT: 3576​ » ESTIMATED READING TIME: 13 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): hardships with past relationships with others, anxiety and fear regarding making bonds with other people, running away as a mechanism to escape reality

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

how blessed i am to have you beside me when real life doesn't work out. how blessed i am to be able to go on the main chat and just be myself. how blessed i am to be able to call you my friends. how blessed i am to be accepted by people over the internet, who ended up supporting me in one of the hardest times of my life.

i love you all. i'm sorry that i'm unable to include everyone but i hope you know that in friendship groups, everyone has an effect on one another. even if person a isn't close to person c, person b may be the reason why you're still in the same group together. we all influence each other and i love you all so much.

i'm so sorry for everything.

"So what? That's it?"

The solemn tone in his voice makes the hues of orange and pink in the sky behind him take away the beauty of the scene you both love. It seemed that even the birds that would usually sing beautifully at this time stopped as soon as you opened the door of your house, knowing well who used his entire fist to bang on your door.

Sunwoo's bangs stuck to his forehead well, showing the physical exertion that his body took to get to your house. His school blouse is half untucked and you realise that maybe he rushed out of gym class in the last period because of his mismatched buttons and how his tie wasn't around his collar properly. His eyes flared with a hint of sadness though the confusion and anger masked most of the emotion behind. Your eyes diverted down to his untied shoelace. Usually, you would scold him and he would give that annoying smile to you, shrugging his shoulders and being completely relaxed whilst answering you with a "You're going to do it for me anyways." Judging by his slumped-over school bag, you guessed that he probably threw it to your 'welcome' carpet as soon as he arrived—even though he knew that he probably wasn't considering that you've been avoiding his entire presence for a whole month.

But even when Sunwoo looks at you with that heartbroken gaze straight to your tired, cold eyes, you don't utter any words to him. The slight bounce of your head made him turn his head away, clenched fists beside his body. You also found your arms crossing around your waist, palms hooked around your figure and your fingers wrapped around your body to ground the tears that you knew would flow if you didn't keep telling yourself to 'keep it together'.

"Don't you think I deserve some kind of explanation?" 

Just from a glance at him, you note the tiredness on his face even with his furrowed eyebrows. Not once did he raise his voice at you even though you can see how he's holding back with how tense his jaw is.

"God, Sunwoo." You exclaim to him with a sarcastic laugh after, "I get that we literally became the best of friends as soon as we met two months ago but shit happens and you can't expect an explanation for everything that happens."

"Of course not!" Sunwoo's voice rises though it doesn't seem to shock you. "Shit happens, I know! But at the same time, I never thought our friendship was so weak and insignificant that you could ignore me for more than a month. I know you read my messages! The app can't show me that but I know!"

"Ok fine, I did!" You spill the truth that you've been holding back. "What are you going to do about it? They’re my messages, not yours!"

Sunwoo didn't know how to counter that. Maybe there wasn't a way to counter the statement because it's true. But you both knew that the unresponded messages were only the tip of the iceberg of why Sunwoo finally decided to confront you for your isolation from him.

"What happened?" Fragile and weak, shoulder dropping closer to the ground, "Talk to me. I'm here for you."

And he breaks. 

The tears that he only released in his bedroom were finally showing itself. He didn't think that it would be infront of you first. He thought that maybe his other friends would see it first but that one tear that escaped was the start of his waterfall. 

"You wouldn't understand." You slightly scowl at the innocent boy, forcing the words between your teeth, "I mean that wholeheartedly and not from some cliche teen romance movie shit." 

The venomous response he gets to his genuine question only makes Sunwoo frown further and he verbally starts to express the tears from his eyes. Seeing him cry and swallow down his whimpers struck a chord in your own confusing heart as well.

The truth is that you're scared. 

You're scared as hell.

You're scared of the fact that even though you met Sunwoo two months ago, you grew so fast to him.

There were days that sometimes he would understand you more than your best friend of five years.

Do you know how scary that is? 

To connect with someone so fast that sometimes all you want to do after a long day is to text them about all the minuscule things to the bigger things that would make your jaw drop.

To open that messaging app, spam him with short sentences, and feel the guilt of passing the dot beside the other messages that your other friends sent first, to just open your conversation with him first?

The confusion that you finally felt at home with someone so quickly and that you felt that when you never expected it to happen? All you ever wanted from your relationship with others was to be included.

Kim Sunwoo did just that in a span of a month compared to five years.

You would spend nights figuring out how it happened but no matter how much you thought of it, you couldn't find that one specific message and timestamp both in your phone or memories of how you would wake up and just hope for a chaotic message from him. 

One mutual turned to two, which turned to three and the euphoric feeling increased exponentially. However, so did the fear escalated further when you got included in the group chat with the friends that he had before you both met. 

You have always been amazed at their friendship. Despite the small age difference here and there between each person, despite using honorifics to still respect that age gap, it never stopped the radiant chaoticness that they brought everywhere they went, in everything they did. Their personalities that are so different but work together so well to the point that it makes you believe that opposites do attract.

Their differing body clocks that would mean that the group chat never dies no matter where the clock hands land. Being able to connect with them, making genuine bonds through all the bullying (that is full of love), heart-to-heart or supportive conversations, relatable life struggles relating to schoolwork and living, fangirling about their achievements in life, asking for help with things that you’re confused about, the fun flirtings that would leave the others speechless—you realise that this is all you've ever wanted and the fact that you received it when you were at your lowest guard, scared every single part of you.

The very first few moments when you came, you were jealous of their bond, wondering how they became so close even through their differences. Then, as time passed and you inserted yourself in the conversations, it felt like you were flying across a cloudless sky, feeling reassured that your wings wouldn't get wet from the rain. After, you became scared of your presence with them, scared of ultimately breaking them apart.

But, do you know the irony of it all? 

You were the one who decided to ignore not only Sunwoo but every single kind-hearted person there. No one pushed that on you. But whenever they would post their photos on the group chat for distribution, reminisce their memories together, or when you would hear one of them talk about it with people outside the group chat, you find yourself jealous and hurt that you weren't part of it all.

Does anyone understand the confusion, guilt, self-hate and pain that it all brings?

"How do you know if I would understand or not if all you've done is left me on read in an app that can't even tell me that?"

Your breath hitches and your voice box only lets out a small gasp. Everything Sunwoo is saying is correct because everything is due to your insecurities and fear that everything will just fall apart. You truly believe in the fact that nothing lasts forever. That belief alone is the reason why you have trouble making friends.

Because for you, why would you put yourself in so much happiness that your cheeks would hurt from the laughter and smiles when you know that everything would end anyway?

But at the same time, your heart is trying to pull you in the opposite direction. Because in a similar logic, if you know that nothing lasts forever, why can't you just accept that fact and cherish him, the memories and the times that you could potentially spend together?

"Sunwoo," right now, you allowed the facts to speak out for you, refusing to follow what you truly wanted, "you have been blessed with the most lovely, encouraging and supportive group of friends. You and me," your index finger points to your chest after pointing at his, "we have experienced totally different friendships."

Sunwoo is beyond confused. Of course, he would be. You've never even given him a chance to understand your experiences. What you did was isolate yourself from him and the group chat that has given you hope that maybe, just maybe, this is your group of people. Your heart broke beyond what you could even comprehend when some of them personally sent a message to you, asking your whereabouts and hoping that you were doing well. On lonely nights as you monitor the cheerful group chat, all you can do is intertwine your hands together around your phone, the tips of your fingers turning white due to the pressure as you hold yourself back from including yourself in the fun conversation.

"Sorry but maybe I'm just not ready."

Sunwoo watches your blank stare, your eyes that used to be so full of glimmer and happiness are now void. He took in the fact that you were probably half-conscious at the current moment as you just stared at whatever was just above his shoulder in the distance but he didn't need to turn around to know that you were not focusing on anything in particular.

He wipes the tears that clouded his view of you before carefully asking, "For what?" 

Your shoulders rise but they hold their position for a second longer before falling back down, "For whatever this friendship is."

Your eyes catch the way his eyebrows crash together as well as the audible nervous gulp and shaky lips, "Is our friendship just 'whatever' to you now?" The volume decreases with each word in the question.

The heaviness in your heart that you carried the past month started to take its toll on your head and you closed your eyes to focus on the chilling wind hitting your face. Sunwoo watches quietly, still waiting patiently for you to ground yourself back to the present. The boy watches your arms untangle from your chest, dropping back to the side of your body and he finds himself wishing that if he stepped forward and opened his arms, you would reciprocate the same loving action back. 

But he knew you wouldn't. Not now when you flutter your eyes open so delicately with an emotion that he has never seen from you.

"I'll always love you, Sunwoo.” 

These are the words that manage to both break and put the pieces of his heart back together. There is no way he could admit it to you now, especially with how things are going but deep down in the lonely past month that he spent, it’s the exact words that he has been waiting and wanting to say to you as he wishes that he could hear it back from you. Now that he has heard it straight from you, not through written text or a voice message, but face to face, his world starts to rebuild itself slowly.

You both only focused on each other’s faces like it would be the last time you both would ever be able to do so. You straighten your back, no longer slumping and cowering away in fear now that you’ve said the words that have always been on your mind. With your slightly newfound confidence and a somewhat lighter heart, Sunwoo sees a bit of colour start to paint your once-pale skin. Your slightly pink cheeks that are in the same beautiful shade as your lips. Your eyelashes that flutter silently in the cold weather around you—and he finds himself wanting to bring your body in a hug to bring some warmth for you both—and finally, your eyes that held all the stories, ones spoken and unspoken, the same ones that he would eventually find himself thanking the teacher for assigning your seat next to his. 

In the silence that held many meanings for you both, you observe your best friend as well. Your neck tilts slightly to accommodate the height difference, watching how some of his bangs are now free from his sweat and are now in a mess due to the wind, his big round eyes that would disappear mischievously whenever he would tease you about something, only to soon have his bright, wide smile mirrored back to your face. You realise now more than ever that you may never see that cute gummy smile of his anytime soon. 

But you needed to be true to yourself. You needed to figure out your feelings first before you could commit to another friendship that could tear you apart once again. 

You needed to learn to love yourself again before you could go and introduce yourself to others.

Through your friendship with Sunwoo, though short and sweet but still special, you promise that after this, you will never put someone else in this kind of feeling ever again. Things would change from now on and there’s very little that you can do regarding your friendship with Sunwoo now, especially when you were the one who made the mess.

Maybe now after this revelation, he wouldn’t want to be near you anymore or maybe he will wait for you. Maybe he won’t tap on your shoulder anymore during class when you’re dazing off into the gloomy sky and just let you get in trouble with your teacher who will have called your name multiple times. Maybe as he passes by the hallway, his arms around his friends, he won’t even spare you a glance, reserving his smile for just them instead.

But again, there’s nothing you can do now. The words have been said and actions regarding the words have already been carried out.

Did you regret it? 

The shortest and fastest answer: Yes. 

Maybe you could’ve just come clean and told him how you feel. Sunwoo would then do that thing where you both would walk to the nearby park by the school and listen to your rants patiently, straightening and bending his legs as he sits on the swing to give him a bit of momentum, nodding thoughtfully to your worries. Then after, he would stretch his arm from behind the chains and pat your slumped back rhythmically. Just like every single time after that, you would both go for a bubble tea run before Sunwoo would panic text you about an assignment or homework that he forgot to complete and you would panic with him, helping him through the all-nighter that you both have gotten concerningly used to.

…gosh, why didn’t you just do that?

If this friendship was going to end anyway, why didn’t you take the easier, non-confusing, less painful way for the both of you? Why did you have to drag others through so much heartbreak just because of your cowardice? Why did you have to be so unthoughtful and unfair to everything and everyone that you genuinely love? You don't care if you have to get hurt as long as they're fine.

Please…just not them.

You are so unfair, unkind and selfish. He was the one pulling the weight of the friendship and you led him on blindly with that fake smile of yours, pretending that everything was fine. The audacity of you to even wish during the times when you cried alone underneath the blanket that he would forgive you. 

You wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t—that thought also extended to your other ten dear friends too.

A few more minutes pass and you are the one who breaks the prolonged eye contact after putting the features of his face into your memory. Sunwoo could only let out a solemn smile, his feet planted still on the ground even though his legs shook a little bit and he clasped his hands together infront of him, looking down at the grey pavement of your entrance for the first time since he arrived.

“Okay.”

The words seemed more permanent than both of you liked but it was the only response that Sunwoo could give to you at the moment. He missed the way you dropped your head to face the ground. Your body moves to lean over to one side of the doorframe, both your hands reaching over to clench the white metal to keep your posture and emotions somewhat stable.

The bag that was in your field of vision gets dragged away from your figure and you know from the shadow that Sunwoo is dusting off the dirt, ready to walk away for the day—from the friendship that you ruined. The sun behind him has almost fully hidden itself behind the taller buildings that you would have always thanked whenever you were in your room, wanting to get away from its scorching heat and intense light but now, you wished it would stay around longer…just a little bit longer. 

But maybe, Sunwoo is your sun and he hears your internal pleading because he steps forward, his everyday school sneakers coming into your view. 

“Whenever you’re ready, alright?”

Maybe it was your growing heartache and headache but the way he mutters it, just a volume above the singing crickets as the birds retreat their song for the day, seemed genuine. Most importantly though, it didn’t seem permanent at all. It’s almost as if Sunwoo is telling you indirectly that he will always wait for you. To tell you to figure out your internal fight first but that he’ll always give you a helping hand and that boba treat if you ever call him for help. To tell you that he will always get you in trouble during class and stick his tongue out if he’s successful. To tell you to stop ignoring him in school now that he is getting some sort of closure from you. 

Thankful for the memories and comfort, your head rises from the depths of your darkness and Sunwoo shines brighter than the huge star behind him. For what you both know will be the last one in a while, Sunwoo purposely lets out a loud sigh, one that is playful and is accommodated by the upturned corner of his lips before resting his open palm on the top of your head.

“I will always wait for you.” 

To his words, the stars in your eyes fell and for once, you were glad that you finally showed your tears to him. You hoped that he would know just how much you are genuinely sorry for all of this. Giving him an actually convincing nod that he seemed to accept. You watch your best friend stuff his hands inside his pocket, turning away from your front door and walking his way back down the stairs to being just classmates—just for now.

No more words were exchanged after and everything seems to pass by excruciatingly slow. Neither of you had the courage and strength left in your being to call out for the other anymore. Sunwoo would go back to his friends and you would be left alone but that’s alright because you love them all. You would gladly kick yourself out of the picture if it meant that there would be no awkwardness or unsettling feeling in the group.

As soon as Sunwoo disappears from your sight, he takes all the happiness and warmth that he would offer to you unconditionally, but you also hope that he left all his worries and frustrations here at your front door. The clicking of the door when you close it is empty and the dragging steps that you take to the other end of the hallway to your room are still heavy. You had no more words for the devil in your head that laughed at you victoriously, the insecurities bouncing from the purple walls of your room as you sat at the edge of your bed.

But when your phone turns on with a notification that you didn’t expect, you know that the angel inside your head will be working their hardest to strengthen your mindset. There, visible from your lock screen is a new message from Sunwoo. Between your sniffles, you manage to let out a momentary chuckle at the new profile picture: Sunwoo behind you wrapping his arms around your neck, holding his phone out on selfie mode for the both of you to smile at—it’s the latest picture of you both. Your eyes then divert to the new message, one that would push you to keep going until you could face him once more and be back in his arms:

“I’ll always love you too.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...' tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿

[thebeesareback]

Fuck it, let's talk about Littlefinger

(the ASOIAF character, not just fingers in general. Also, I've said "Brandon Stark" for Ned's brother, and "Bran Stark" for Ned's son)

Trigger warning: rape and forced abortion

So one of the things I've said before is that I love ASOIAF for many reasons, including the complexities and backstories of all the characters. I suppose that's why there's a bazillion characters and the books are so long.

Anyway, one interesting example of narrative framing is the perspective we get on Littlefinger. He's (arguably) the main antagonist in the first book and is responsible for everything from Jon Arryn and Ned's death to the Tyrell marriage to Joffrey's assassination. We see him as a scheming villain, determined to harm our saintly Starks.

Littlefinger was born as a second-generation immigrant and heir to a minor lordship. Thanks to his parents' relationship with fuckhead Hoster Tully, he got to foster at Riverrun, where he befriended Cat, Lysa and Edmure. The books are interested in the "outsider" perspective on power status, hence Jon Snow's POV, and arguably Theon and Arya, too. They live in the home, they're part of the family... kinda. Sansa always thinks of Jon as her "bastard half-brother", Theon knows that Ned might have to kill him, and Arya doesn't fit neatly into her assigned gender role. They see Rob and Sansa and want that, kind of, but know they'll never get it.

Therefore, in his youth, Littlefinger knew that he was smart, knew that he wanted power, yet was keenly aware that it was almost impossible for him to socially climb. He does -- we'll get to that in a bit -- but as a child, he knows it's unlikely. Think of Rob and Jon playing in Winterfell and Jon yelling "I'm the Lord of Winterfell" and Rob just returning "no, my mother says you won't be". It's a horrible situation to be in. We don't get Littlefinger's POV, but if we did, I think there's a good chance he would remember a similar scenario.

Then there's Littlefinger's relationship to Catlyn and Lysa. Little boys often have crushes on little girls, and it's usually pretty sweet and can sometimes become a nice romance or just fade away. We hear that Catlyn is intelligent and beautiful as an adult, so it's easy to see the appeal, and Catlyn also has status through her Tully blood and an understanding of Machiavellian power plays because her father raised her as his heir until Edmure was born. One could easily see Littlefinger's desire for Catlyn being a desire for power and status, as well as her own merits.

Lysa had a crush on Littlefinger, creating the incesty love triangle that GRRM loves so much. I can't imagine playing kissing games with a foster brother and a sister, tbh. Littlefinger himself seems to only see Lysa as a pawn, and uses her feelings to get her to do what she wants. The narrative suggests that, for a time, there's Catlyn, mourning her mother; Lysa, mourning her mother and interested in a boy who doesn't really care about her; Edmure, just being a baby; and Littlefinger, caught up in rules and restrictions: allowed to be close to what he wants, but never truly part of the team.

Events start to occur. Fuckhead Hoster Tully decides to set up marriage alliances for Catlyn and Lysa. Lysa meets Jamie Lannister, who barely pays her any attention (he's distracted by the presence of his hero, Brynden "Blackfish" Tully). Catlyn meets Brandon Stark, who has power, status, a noble house, physical prowess -- everything Littlefinger wants. On the night the Stark-Tully engagement is arranged, Littlefinger gets drunk. He can't cope with the years of complicated class dynamics, he's heartbroken, and he's what, 14? He's immature and acts like it. Then Lysa rapes him.

I'm not a psychologist so I can't comment on the impact of sexual violence, especially when gender and power play into the situation in this way. However, Lysa did an unforgivable thing, and there was nobody Littlefinger could turn to. That's horrifying. I also think that more should be made about Littlefinger's comments about shutting your eyes and getting it over with in relation to being in bed with "an ugly woman".

Soon after, he challenges Brandon Stark to a duel for Catlyn's hand. Catlyn "betrays" him (in Littlefinger's mind) by giving Brandon her favour, Edmure "betrays" him by "squiring" for Brandon, and then Brandon nearly kills him. So we have a teenager who is 1) in huge amounts of physical pain, 2) without friends or allies, 3) was recently raped and 4) considered unimportant and insignificant. Then, Lysa rapes him again. The fact that this poor child didn't have a full mental breakdown is genuinely suprising.

We don't know if Littlefinger knew about Lysa's pregnancy at the time. What Hoster did to her was also unforgivable -- violence begets violence, and Lysa and Hoster's relationship is full of toxicity and harm. Hoster is also just generally monstrous. If Littlefinger did know, that's another layer of complexity where his foster father aborts Littlefinger's baby, a physical reminder of the sexual violence Littlefinger endured.

A few years later Lysa convinces her then-husband, Jon Arryn, to bring Littlefinger to King's Landing. He is traumatised, he is resentful, and he is cunning. He works hard to enter the places he was once barred from, like the court, the Red Keep and the small council. Now he can take his revenge on everyone who hurt him.

GRRM often talks about the futility of revenge. House Martell is the most obvious example of this, and the speech Elaria gives is beautiful and poignient. Littlefinger doesn't get revenge on Hoster or Brandon Stark. He does kill Lysa, but that's more to shut her up. In a story with a different perspective -- and a few characters kept alive -- we could see Littlefinger as a Kill Bill style avenger, ruining the lives and families of all of those who harmed him. It could be easy to root for him, not against him as the narrative sets up.

Revenge isn't simple, and that's why Littlefinger doesn't succed and isn't an inspirational character. He never confronts anyone on what happened to him -- he's too psychologically damaged -- so instead he kills Ned and Jon Arryn, two people who had nothing to do with his traumatic experiences at Riverrun, and then he hyperfixates on poor Sansa, who looks like Catlyn in his memory. He's immature and stunted in his mid-teens. I wonder if Littlefinger and Sansa lived for another 10/20 years he'd find himself losing interest because she moved on and he can't.

Littlefinger will likely die because of Sansa, and nobody will miss him. He's not a good person. He's groomed and lied and manipulated her, and the horrors he inflicted on Jeyne Poole, supposedly her best friend, are even worse. I don't see his future death as triumphant, though, in an unbiased overview kind of way. The Starks will celebrate, because he killed their dad. No one else will really care. The Lords Declarant have got rid of an annoyance, and he wasn't really working with King Tommen or the Small Council any more.

I think there is some sadness, though, for the child who wanted to be included, wanted to be loved, and who was instead hated, abused, ignored and scarred. RIP Littlefinger, a victim of the patriachy and the class structure.

[bloggingboutburgers]

hi! Just wanted to say that I've read your series "no one can know I don't like sex" and it's great 🙂 I found you through your most recent post and the way your phrase "being confessed to romantically IS what leaves me heartbroken" is pretty on point made me feel really good/understood (I actually reblogged it with a bunch of really personal storytelling on the tags but tumblr messed the order of the tags and I just reblogged the post again without the overexposition, but it did make me think back on it). Kudos! Also congrats on your engagement

Thank you so much for the kind words! Also I'm really glad those words could resonate with other people than myself tbh, I was very much just thinking out loud there (like I kinda always am when I draw those things TwT) and it's always very validating to know I'm not alone in that feeling

[candlemouse]

Warrenessa Fablehaven Edits

except we do not have significant footage and I am not an editor so it's actually me just writing out what I would do if both of those previous statements were not true

Is this insane? Yes. Was my train delayed by 40 min today w/no service? Yes + might be related

Italics are lyrics. Small is my reasoning or film direction! Click below for more

imgonnagetyouback - Taylor Swift

I see this one from the perspective of Vanessa after the betrayal / falling in love again.

I can feel it comin', hummin' in the way you move / Push the reset button, we're becoming something new

Here, the song kind of hits the beats on the syllables of "we're becoming something new," and I would have like those flashes of them from the earliest form we see them, to the betrayal, and to Zzyzx and after. Highlight maybe Vanessa winking at Warren. She would have done this. Or the other way around

Say you got somebody, I'll say, "I got someone too"

I would use the Sphinx + Vanessa here (not Errol bc I don't really interpret their relationship as meaningfully romantic) and maybe Elise bc tbh when I first read these books as a kid, I thought they were together. But, no, Kendra just wonders if Warren thinks she's pretty. That was enough for me when I was 8 though lol. Also could put Dougan in. Not that I think him and Warren have a relationship but bc I think it would be close enough

Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leaving here with you

Leaving the Inverted Tower, when Vanessa is bound by rope, but a clip where she looks at Warren?

Bygones will be bygone eras fadin' into gray (fadin' into gray) / We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game (oh) / Told my friends, "I hate you but I love you just the same" / Pick your poison, babe / I'm poison either way

This last half of the bridge is just so perfect for them I don't even need to elaborate! Pick your poison? Have both scenes of battle between them + kissing!

The Promise - When in Rome

This would be a short edit about longing!

I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say / (I promise you)

If you listen to the song, the syllables hit harder/slower/something different after "right." So the beginning is like a couple second scene of them interacting but after "right", on the syllables, there's jump cuts between them. Maybe times when they've been at odds.

I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be / (I promise you)

Now, im using made up footage so ideally here I would use a scene from my warrenessa fic where he talks to her (in the dungeon) after the inverted tower battle, but a shot where Vanessa's Face is framed by bars

And if I had to walk the world I'd make you fall for me / I promise you, I promise you I will

Clips of Vanessa on her field trip w/Seth + the satyrs, literally traveling the world (an outcome is that she sees Warren again)

I will, I will

Here, I would use footage of Vanessa sitting on the beach alone at the lighthouse and Warren sitting down and joining her. It would be a shot from the back with the ocean in front of them and you can't see their faces. This will be a scene in my fic but also could be plausible bc I bet if Fablehaven was a TV show they would show the confrontation between Warren/Vanessa on lighthouse beach instead of just hinting at it. At least in my ideal world

Soft fade to black with the music fading (as the 80's loved to do)

The Black Dog - Taylor Swift

I see this one from Warren's perspective immediately after Inverted Tower betrayal.

I move through the world with the heartbroken / My longings stay unspoken / And I may never open up the way I did for you

Sad clips of Warren -> flashback clips of them being cute in the Knights. I really thinking of them every time I hear that last line. Bc will Warren ever open up like that again after betrayal/deception?

And all of those best laid plans / You said I needed a brave man / Then proceeded to play him / Until I believed it too

Flashback clips again of the Knights era w/Vanessa being strong/kind etc to Warren. She's acting! An actor. This fits so well guys u don't even know

And it kills me / I just don't understand... / How you don't miss me / In the shower / And remember / How my rain-soaked body / Was shaking

"And it kills me" -> scene of vanessa handing Warren the sword in Inverted Tower and then for lines after: Ideally a rain kiss scene! (But I don't know of one) Other scenes work as well

Do you hate me?

Transition where old flashback Warren cuts to sad Warren. You know like where they're in the same kind of position so the transition is like seamless? I've watched too many edits

Was it hazing? / For a cruel fraternity I pledged / And I still mean it

Fraternity -> Knights of the Dawn (I mean like oh my gee yes!!!) This part could have the audio of like Warren reciting the pledge (or Kendra when she was being initiated) underneath

Old habits die screaming

This has the iconic huge like drums or whatever so I think jump cuts of various clips of vanessa + Warren would be perfect, and it's all the really dramatic, big scenes

Six weeks of breathing clean air / I still miss the smoke

Since the song gets quiet, the scenes get "quiet." Clips of mundane things like Warren pouring coffee, waiting at baggage terminal (in GotSP), stuff like that. Also I wrote a fic with this title about Warren too 🫣

Were you making fun of me with some esoteric joke? / Now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes / And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons

Clips of Inverted Tower Battle, on house we have establishing shot of Warren's cottage, and clothes had a shot of the knights of dawn garb

Even if I die screaming

Warren falling through the air half-dead in inverted tower battle scene

And I hope you hear it

Cut to Vanessa watching him fall and pierce the big cat

Honorable mentions:

guilty as sin by tswift (can you tell a certain album came out when I started writing the warrenessa fic?

bite the hand by boy genius (this is quite literally the title of the vanessa fic. for good, good reason!!!!)

and ofc iconic "always an angel never a god" audio from boy genius's "not strong enough" as well

[fantasypackerreviews]

Packer sales post

Sales thread for packers (+ some not packers at the very bottom)

Shipping varies, but most of these would be around $20 US shipping in a large, sturdy bubbler with waterproof and generous padding. Boxes are looking to be $35/40 shipping. I've sent + received dicks in bubblers before with success

There are quite a few! Apologies it's so image heavy as a result. Sorry if any have gubbins, my hip pain was at an 8 during the process of this, me and my very based cock washing assistant may have dropped a couple in the process of the wash.

Everything under the cut, I'll remove what's sold as I can.

Most are half price or less from shop price :>

BD flint - small super soft (BD informed me this isn't body safe for internal use), marble custom. Awful for packing. Best for display or if you are absolutely determined this is your dick and you're willing to damage it or risk it packing.

$35 + shipping - OG price $85+shipping

Vulpini Design sheath - Large med, needs to be worn low/back but good for if thats your packing pref.

$40 + shipping - OG price $80+shipping

note: i have two of these, one has a flaw - I am sending out the one without the flaw

Wyvern's Vault Aamon - mini, I believe soft or SS. Awesome packer, esp good for beginners!

$15 + shipping - OG price $30 + shipping

MINI AAMON PENDING! feel free to ask for notif if buyer backs out, but no guarantees!

Wyvern's Vault Aamon - small - believe soft firmness. Awesome packer, good for beginners!

$20 + shipping - OG price $40 + shipping

Wyvern's vault veld - MINI SS, typo on image! MINI!

Didn't take bath pics so take the unboxing pic with one of my undercut hairs choosing violence :'>

Awesome packer for beginners that would like a cock on the lighter side!

$15 + shipping - OG price $15 + shipping

Front shot didn't save. Batbites dominion, Large, I believe soft firmness. Due to size, not recommended for packing, but I managed it haha

$50 + shipping - OG price $85 + shipping

Batbite's beau - large, soft, my go-to recommendation for beginners!

$30 + shipping each - OG price $70 + shipping

BOTH BEAU PENDING! feel free to ask for notif if buyer backs out, but no guarantees!

Kuduvoodoo trex - small, super soft. Pretty much flawless packing experience, I will be really sad to see this one go!

$35 + shipping - OG price ~$60 + shipping

Kuduvoodoo lennex, small, super soft iirc. Incredible packer, esp for beginners! Great for those wanting a bit more of a realistic "flopping" kind of feel :>

$30 + shipping - OG price ~$65 + shipping

Kuduvoodoo Frederick! Typo on image

small, soft, not ideal for packing in thin pants, unless you wear thick jeans id advise the size down.

$25 + shipping - OG price ~$54 + shipping

Fantasticocks deux - one size, standard firmness. A little weildy, but a good packing experience if you like 'em a bit hefty!

$35 + shipping - OG price ~$65 + shipping

Fantasticocks Karuno, one size standard firmness. Super easy going packer, ideal for folks that like them on the lighter side!

$25 + shipping - OG price ~$48 + shipping

KARUNO PENDING! feel free to ask for notif if buyer backs out, but no guarantees!

Fantasticocks Dracul, one size standard firmness. Interesting packing experience, recommend pouch over sling as the texture does show through thinner pants otherwise.

$25 + shipping - OG price ~$50 + shipping

Darquepath Nereid - one size, soft. Awesome packer, great choice for nautical beginners!

$25 + shipping - OG price ~$50 + shipping

NEREID PENDING SHIPPING

Darquepath Skoll - one size, medium. One of my favorites ever, amazing packing experience and great for beginners, I'm heartbroken to be letting go of it tbh!

$30 + shipping - OG price ~$60 + shipping

SKOLL PENDING! feel free to ask for notif if buyer backs out, but no guarantees!

SST claw - Large, soft, flop tho ive never been able to find an issue. Fantastic beginner packer, or for folks that like the idea of a smaller cock to balls length ratio

$20 + shipping - OG price $43 + shipping

CLAW PENDING! feel free to ask for notif if buyer backs out, but no guarantees!

Not packers! Dildos, grinders and misc!

MTW Kesh - med/med - unused, display only.

$40 + shipping - OG price $80 + shipping

TWB tarrasque med and i believe med, im its second owner. unused by myself and bathed fortnightly regardless

$30 + shipping - shop price $70 + shipping, iirc i paid $50 + shipping? I don't keep as strong a record of non-packer purchases.

PPS snarks maw - med + i believe soft. unused/display only. its the coolest snarks maw pour, i am deeefinitely not biased

$55 + shipping (OG price $105 + shipping)

PPS Jupiter - small + med.

$30 + shipping - OG price $60 + shipping

PPS snarks maw - mini soft, unused, display only

$25 + shipping - OG price $54 + shipping

Grinder!

MTW zayn barbed - small soft iirc, small bubble on a clit barb

$15 + shipping - iirc i paid $20 + shipping

ZAYN PENDING! feel free to ask for notif if buyer backs out, but no guarantees!

Squishies!

BW paw - med/soft

$20 + shipping - og price about $30 USD + shipping

PAW PENDING! feel free to ask for notif if buyer backs out, but no guarantees!

BW tsuchinoko

$20 + shipping - og price about $30 usd + shipping

[marc--chilton]

how would each of the house characters react to a spider

i think wilson would either FREAK OUT (like with the possum) or be very kind to it. and i think House has a decent chance of adopting it like steve mcqueen. and i think chase is the only australian to be afraid of spiders.

but i'm interested in hearing your thoughts

this anonask brought to you by Me Being Sad About Not Enough Spiders Living In My House And Also Not Enough Bees

house: would gripe at it for not doing its job and not catching Every Single Fly to have bothered him ever

wilson: EEK!!

chase: tbh he'd probably be relieved that most spiders round these parts are small. like spiders aren't his fave but at least these ones aren't huge

cameron: eek! time to do the old cup and paper trick

foreman: kills it. whatever

taub: kills it. whatever

kutner: heebies are jeebied.

thirteen: prefers to put them outside but won't be heartbroken to kill a spider either

[icy-watch]

So, Bonzle has been taken by the Administration. Specifically, by Jay. I think we all should have seen that coming tbh.

I don't think Zane, Cole, and Gandalaria will realize that Bonzle has been taken until the end of the fight. Cole's going to be so heartbroken. And he promised that he'd protect her.

Geo, Fritz, and Spitz... oh no. They're going to be devastated.

Kai's achieved the Risign Dragon technique, and is the only 1 to do so. He's kind of their only hope for fighting Cinder. And any o the Fab Five that may get summoned bc I have Bad Feelings and I think they're going to come back.

There's only a few more episodes. I'm thinking the rescue of Bonzle will happen in the next episode - altho it'll be derailed by Ras managing to kidnap Bonzle, and then the ritual with a fight which will carry over into the final ep of the first part of the season.

Sometime time here, everyone is going to meet back up. I just don't know how or when. Maybe during Bonzle's rescue? Possibly.

Ok, this weekend, I'm only going to be able to watch 1 episode tomorrow and unfortunately none the day after. I have an all day thing. So, I'm going to save the last 2 episodes for Monday and Tuesday (or Tuesday and Wednesday for those in the future). Alright? Until tomorrow!

[jupiterdive]

spoilers for the balance | worlds apart below!!

i have never like. felt a lot towards blake as a character before this video. like tbh the most i thought of him was that yeah, he was a threat, but also he plays fortnite canonically and that is really funny to me, but this video????????????????? holy shit this guy has been through so much. i am never one to support characters that have an, "ends justify the means," kind of mindset, and, to make it clear, that is not what i'm doing here, but that guy. damn. there is such sorrow and irony in a seer who's been blinded by his own naïveté and wants and inner turmoil, and it's come at an undefinably large cost to himself and so many others, and that just devastates me. i think that, specifically in this video, erik did an incredible job with both scripting blake's scenes and his vocal performance. i keep coming back to his confession scene and feeling so heartbroken and heavy for the guy. to be clear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he has absolutely no excuse for his actions and he is 100% in the wrong for quite literally almost everything we have heard him do in the series, but i feel like the sincerity and honesty of blake's actions and dialogue in this video did a phenomenal job at truly conveying his fear and his grief and his determination for both his and bestie's situation. the fact that he's so desperate to keep them not only alive, but in his life as well, when they've made their boundaries clear to him and he has tried his best to suppress and alter things about himself and do whatever he can to make them as comfortable with him as possible (which is incredibly unhealthy btw he reeks of codependency issues i am not in support of any of this) is tragic to me :(( i'm really looking forward (lie this is a lie i'm actually really scared) to what erik decides to do with him next though!!

[tending-the-hearth]

little things about "the outsiders" that i noticed after sitting front row

first off pls know if you get a front row seat you WILL have gravel kicked at you every 5 seconds, you will get fake blood on your clothes, and you will get rained on, BUT you will have the best cast interactions and vantage point, i cannot recommend front row tickets for this show enough tbh

ok so i went to see the show back in april, and my seat was amazing, but seeing it front row let me see and focus on a lot more little details that i wasn't able to see the first time around!

soda teasing ponyboy during “Tulsa ‘67”

I just love hearing ace shouting “I love you Superman!”

ponyboy and johnny attempting to look cool and intimidating when cherry and marcia tell them to move up front, and then absolutely sitting all goofy

just the amount of looks pony and johnny give each other

the up close look at the defeat and sadness on soda and darry’s faces during “far away from tulsa”

ponyboy being the narrator and therefore watching darry and soda during “throwing in the towel” 

darry and pony’s look towards each other in “soda’s letter” 😭😭

darry's face going from heartbroken to shocked to worried to happy during “hoods turned heroes” (the fic thoughts are Happening)

the smile DOES NOT leave darry's face during the song it actually makes me emotional

The line “the reconciliation’s already begun” being sung at darry 😭😭

also “hoods turned heroes” being the first greaser song that darry genuinely gets involved in with dancing and singing 

brent comer you were robbed of a tony nom tbh

after johnny dies, the way darry just stands there horrified

soda holding back his tears to go and hold ponyboy who GENUINELY looks like he’s having a panic attack

joshua boone deserved the tony, during ponyboy's entire monologue after “little brother” he stands there just on the brink of tears, never breaking for a second, he was so so robbed

In cherry’s scene where she brings johnny's things to ponyboy, she isn’t wearing her cardigan, which if you've seen the show you know that it's kind of dally's catalyst to get antagonistic towards her when they first meet at the drive-in

I didn’t notice but johnny's converse 😭😭😭 they’re gold 😭😭😭

not something I just noticed, but soda isn’t as sweet/soft towards ponyboy after the argument, when ponyboy turns away from johnny's letter, soda kind of snaps at him about not wanting to read it 

when ponyboy finally sits at the table and asks for some green beans, darry turns away from his brothers and starts crying because we can only assume he’s barely eaten the entire two weeks since the deaths i'm ill

overall to no one's surprise the brainrot is back i love the show SO much

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

What's your fav Joel Kinnaman character? Mine is probs holder tbh

(I'm trying to find more stuff with him to watch, I nearly almost might just watch holder scene packs on YouTube lol) I watched a little bit of that Netflix thing, I can't mind the name of the show, he was called kovacs in it and people kept changing bodies, but I didn't like it so I never finished it, I feel like there's not enough things with him in it

I always say there are the big three when it comes to Kinnaman characters: Rick Flag, Takeshi Kovacs, and Stephen Holder.

I tolerate Rick in 2016's Suicide Squad (and he does have moments I actually really love), but my obsession for Rick comes solely from 2021's The Suicide Squad. He was what sparked my Joel love and I love every moment with him in that film (yes, even that part because I am a gluten for pain).

I can see why Altered Carbon (the Netflix show with him as Takeshi Kovacs) isn't everyone's cup of tea but I LOVE IT!!! And his character is so layered and complex and hits all the character traits I love. Plus, he is GORGEOUS in it! And he can effortlessly switch between being an angry kickass asshole to a tender, heartbroken soul in seconds.

And as you said, Stephen Holder from The Killing is such a great and complex character! He's so pathetic and sad and I just constantly want to give him a hug! And it's insane looking at him and remembering he is the same Joel that plays Tak or Rick because Joel was SO skinny back then! But I love it so much!!!

A few honorable mentions you might want to try seeking out if you are looking for more Joel content:

Ed Baldwin in "For All Mankind" (a show on Apple+). Ed is a very close 4th place Joel character for me and each season his character gets a decade older so it is fun to watch him play all these different ages (including the current season when he is in his 70s)

Pete Koslow in "The Informer" (movie). The movie itself is very dark but good. However, Joel's performance is the highlight (and it is probably the thickest he's been)

Erik Heller in "Hanna" (a show on Amazon Prime). I'll be honest, I still haven't finished the first season but I've seen all the gifs and clips and he does a really good job here.

Brian Godlock in "Silent Night" (movie released in some parts of the world last week). This revenge action movie has absolutely no dialogue but Joel is AMAZING at conveying all the emotions needed for his role and he kind of gives me older Holder vibes throughout.