#i'm just literally always going to be isolated and cut off from any possibility of community

[hopefulqueer]

i'm gonna lose it actually

[zerodaryls]

For the ask game! 16, 37 and 43

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

yeah usually like cussing out my toxic family members but then i didn't because i realized it was healthier and more effective to just cut them off entirely <3 i could have verbally destroyed my stepdad with a single sentence but i am actually better than he is so instead i just don't talk to him at all lmao

37. favourite actor/actress

idk if i have one, because usually my favorite actors are just whoever play the blorbos of whatever series i'm currently fixated on, so it varies from time to time. and even then i wouldn't say they're favorites because i just like their characters, not necessarily them as a person (side-eyes d*rk and dw*ght) lmao.

hmm, in honor of the origin of my url i'm gonna say Bill Pullman.

he's just so iconic and i'm always happy to see him on screen and he gives me a whole heckin' lot of gender envy lol i have literally taken photos of him to a salon and been like GIMME THE HAIR (he has had the same goddamn hair style his entire career, i dare you to find a photo of him where his hair isn't this same basic style lol like it varies in length but it's always the same cut and i LOVE it)

he's in like. so many of my favorite movies. Zero Effect (blog url inspo), While You Were Sleeping (fave romcom), Brain Dead (fave psychological/existential horror movie), Independence Day (...one of my fave sci-fi/alien movies), Spaceballs (...I wouldn't actually call this a favorite movie of mine tbh but like it's so fucking iconic I can't not mention it), AND there's this super cringe scene in Mr. Wrong (terrifying movie, it's billed as a comedy but it's legit a horror film to me lmao, do not recommend) where he sings Hold The Line by Toto (my favorite band) really badly and it's just. So iconic. almost ruined the song for me. almost. (no one can ruin Toto for me. 'tis not possible.)

43. favourite song ever

oh come on you can't do that to me, i can't pick a fave song ever, that's not a thing, i don't know how to do that :')

but as i mentioned Toto... it's gonna be one of theirs, lol. i can't even choose one goddammit i'll do a top three (stRUGGLING EVEN TO DO THAT... THE 'TISM CANNOT CHOOSE)

gonna put Rosanna first because it's the first song I remember rocking out to when i was like 3 years old in my car seat and telling my dad to turn up the car radio

next up Can't Stand It Any Longer because EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS PERFECTION, from Joe Williams' vocals to the melody to the beat to the ALL THE MUSIC TERMS I'M NOT EDUCATED ENOUGH TO COMMENT ON IN DETAIL hskjdfhkjsdhfdjksf

aaand as much as it pains me to only choose one more i'll go with one from the Isolation album so you can hear another vocalist (the amount of vocalists this band has had... and they're all so talented in their own ways and GAWWWWWWD I LOVE THIS FUCKIN BAND SO MUCH I'M GONNA SCREAM),, anyway here's Endless:

i could literally talk about Toto all day so i'm gonna have to cut myself off here before this becomes an infodump lmao

............actually i'm gonna put one last song because it came up in the recommended sidebar and Joe is fucking adorable in this video and gives me a lot of gender envy and YES THAT'S PAULA ABDUL DANCING,, WHY WASN'T THIS ONE OF THEIR BIGGEST HITS I DON'T UNDERSTAND

....a..and... um... listen i hate listing 4 things because that doesn't feel rounded out so here's one more to make it a nice rounded 5,, featuring Steve Lukather as a BABY (okay he's like 21 but he looks like a baby) and because I can't list a bunch of Toto songs and not feature any from their 70s era:

i need those rainbow suspenders.

...okay sorry sorry i was entirely possessed by my autism for a minute there 😅 thus concludes the post. thanks for the asks and for opening up my big chaotic box of obsession lol.

[twotangledsisters]

Forgive me if I’ve asked you this before but what’s your favorite headcanon about each of the tts gang?

First off, apologies for taking so long to answer! I don't have a cool excuse I just saw it while out, though I'd remember to answer later and... didn't.

But super cool question so let's get into it!

Rapunzel

For Rapunzel, I surprisingly can't think of too much, I'm sure I'll think of a million things after pressing post, but I'm going with one I included in a recent chapter because I think it's adorable:

The flowers in Rapunzel's hair are picked from the garden every morning by Eugene for her.

Eugene would pick flowers for her early on because, you give flowers to your girlfriend, Rapunzel would accept the little bucket with a smile, but not knowing to put them in a vase like any normal girl she'd go straight to the mirror and add them to her hair. A constant reminder of Eugene.

And he'd of course pick her fresh one's every single morning because if his girlfriend wants flowers in her hair she's going to have the very best.

Eugene

My fave is one you've probably all seen but will forever warm my heart. It was by guiltyhipster and @dannybird22 on tumblr though the first, I looked it up and they don't seem to have a blog anymore.

In fact, because it only seems to be around in image form, it took me a while to find but here it is:

It's so sweet.

And the idea that neither remember and it's just a coincidence would make it all the sweeter in my mind!

(I also headcanon in my fics Eugene didn't stay put in one kingdom's orphanage and kept running away and ending up in new ones so that would allow for this to be possible still).

Cassandra

There are so many good headcanons with Cass because there is so much left unsaid about her (who's her dad? why did Gothel have a kid? How did she get Owl?). Choosing just one, choosing a favourite is very hard.

But my fave headcanon (which is huge spoilers for many of my fics because I use and reuse it a lot, but I won't be saying which fics because a few have other ideas) is that she's at least half magic.

Let me explain, we know she's Gothel's daughter. But Gothel is literally pure sundrop magic at this point, that's why she dies when Rap's hair gets cut. So any child produces by Gothel is unlikely fully human.

I don't think she can use these powers in the way Raps does, I think it just kinda sits in her blood completely inactive.

This also explains why she can grab and use the moonstone magic without it trying to kill her.

Lance

That the day he got caught and sent to prison he sacrificed himself so Eugene could escape (probably without Eugene realizing that what he'd done), because Lance is the bestest big brother ever and for as many jokes as he makes I just know he'd do anything to protect his friends/family and their happiness.

Where does the tts gang end....? I'm just gonna keep going... sorry?

Arianna

Probably my fave characters!

She's a huge animal lover. Before Frederic she kept a bunch of pets but when she became queen and didn't have the time to give them the attention they deserved, she stopped getting new pets.

I mean she has two dogs a horse and a bird in her royal portrait!

She's also clearly into weapons as she has several (something I definitely dig into deep later in my fic).

Frederic

I think Frederic was probably raised in "royal isolation", that is to say, he had tutors and teachers preparing him for his future duty, there were servants and such, but he didn't really get to hang out with other kids his age, because of that he sometimes struggled with understanding other's emotions and comes of as awkward at times.

Captain of the Guard

So, in Eugene vs Cassandra, I was always really struck by Cass' explanation of how Cap raised her, specifically the line: "how to earn my keep". I don't doubt Cap loved her, but I do believe growing up with the Captain as her father was more discipline than nurturing. Especially because of where she came from.

I think Cap probably wouldn't let her get away with bad behaviour or attitude, not because he wanted to be strict or pushy, but because he was scared of the king and queen and how people would treat the daughter of the princess' kidnapper.

I think he did what he thought was best for her. But I think ultimately it backfired.

I could probably go on with every single character who ever made an appearance but, I've been writing for a while now, so hope you enjoy some of these!

[loaksky]

you are such a talented writer! i’m taking a creative writing class this summer and i wanna start writing my own fics, do you have any writing tips? like ur process and how tf you pull such wonderful imagery and feeling out of a story?? thank you! xx

hi babes ! sorry it took me a bit to get around to answering this ! thank you so much for such a sweet message AHHH ! i actually took creative writing my senior year of college as an elective and it was SO fun so hopefully you have a blast taking it ! also so excited that you're getting into writing your own fics, it can definitely be a gratifying experience. even though i feel like i'm not qualified to give writer advice, some thoughts are under the cut LMAO <3

my initial thought is gonna sound so unhelpful, but i read this quote / saying somewhere and it's stuck with me since: just write and keep writing after, even if you hate what you write. and the reasoning that came with the quote is that you already have 100 percent more to work with than if you were to write, hate what you produce, and then stop until you feel 'good enough' to go again. you can always revise, you can always edit, you can always delete and rewrite, but you'll have something to work with. this is something i really struggled with in high school when i was really getting into writing.

obviously you don't want to push yourself into a state where you develop an unhealthy relationship with it, but it's just a little encouragement or motivation that i used to remind myself of when i would get in a funk.

some random technical (?) advice in no particular order:

use pinterest for writing prompts, templates (for world building, character building, plot structuring), creating moodboards for your projects, etc. pinterest is my holy grail for writing both fanfiction and regular fiction / personal projects. possibilities are endless with miss pinterest.

said and says can get repetitive, yes, but they are still very useful. if you try to swap out said and says with too many alternatives, you run the risk of compromising reading flow and sounding a little too wordy.

in that same vein, try out different word choices, but be careful with which ones you choose! sometimes (like with said and says), writers will use a thesaurus and pick the 'smartest' sounding word and then it ends up throwing off the way the sentence reads...if that makes sense...i'm rambling now lmaooo

in regards to your specific question about my process:

i'm literally so all over the place. sometimes i'll think of a really cool title and then just run with that.

other times, i'll think of a conflict and craft a plot around the conflict and build outwards.

sometimes i'll already have my ending in mind and backtrack all the way to the beginning. then i'll the time to flesh out the foundation.

i also listen to a lot of music. if you go through my masterlist, you'll probably peep a lot of song titles hahaha. i usually use music as a way to feel out a vibe or write using inspiration from the lyrics.

as mentioned above, i love making moodboards and perusing pinterest !

also, this may sound lowkey crazy, but i love writing as if i'm describing scenes in a movie. or maybe directing a movie? i'm a very sensory person, so i try to make sure i include most, if not all, of the senses when constructing these 'scenes'.

and finally!

just have fun! in both the creative writing class and online, don't let outside pressures like your peers, numbers, or other things get in the way of you creating what you love and being apart of a community. it can be difficult and a little isolating at times, but no matter what, just remember what you went into your endeavors looking for!

ik i was a little all over the place, but this is what i can think of for now because my brain is absolutely fried lmaooo. if you have anymore specific questions: lmk, i love talking n chatting hehe

best of luck to you in your class and i hope you enjoy the journey of writing fanfiction as well! <3

[zephyrrydrake]

Welcome to my blog!

Welcome to my blog! I hope you can enjoy whatever the heck I end up posting here!

Who are you?

If you know who Rydrake6 is, you know who I am. If you don't, I'll introduce myself really quick.

You can call me Zephyr. I'm a tiger/dragon hybrid who likes drawing, making music, writing, making games, and doing pretty much any creative thing you can think of. I'm an autistic trans man and a minor, and I've got way too many creative projects to work on.

Why does this blog exist?

This blog was made because I Reblog way too much stuff on my main. Which honestly isn't really a bad thing, but it is inconvenient when I'm trying to find something I posted like an audio or a piece of art and I have to scroll through a literal sea of reblogs to get to it. Other than that, I kind of always wanted a side blog where I don't have to worry about a brand and stuff. Speaking of which, I'm probably going to stop trying to make a brand out of myself and just create things like people are meant to do on the internet instead of being obsessed with numbers and the possibility of earning a living off of making stuff, but that's not a conversation for this post.

What's going to be posted here?

I don't have any particular idea for what I'm gonna post on this blog, just that there are going to be very few, if any, reblogs. Mainly because of the situation with my main blog. However, a few things that you can probably expect from this blog are looks at creative projects that I'm working on (Music, movies, shows, stories, drawings, ect.), Life stuff (Basically whatever I feel like talking about in my life. Nothing identifying though of course. I'm not stupid.), And probably a few shitpost and memes too. If I do Reblog stuff, you're probably gonna see me saying stuff at the bottom.

Boundaries TL;DR

So I realize that I have a bad habit of writing entire fucking essays when I should just keep it short and sweet, and my boundaries are no exception. So here's a quick summary of all of them.

If you're a bad person who supports bad things or you just make me uncomfortable, you're getting blocked.

Don't come into my askbox asking for money or donations.

You can DM me but I am a socially awkward weirdo due to years of isolation so watch out.

Boundries being broken = block.

Long version of my boundaries under the cut.

What are you doing in my house?

Irrelevant. Now lead me to your stash of waffle fries before I eat your firstborn instead.

Long version of the boundary list

Not sure how effective this section is gonna be. I've been told many times that DNIs don't work, but I'll include one anyways just because. It's less of a "Pwetty pwease don't look at my blog UwU" and more of a "If you're any of the things on this list I will block you on sight." So here are some ground rules.

DNI/You will be blocked on sight if you are a TERF, a racist, a transphobe, basically a bigot of any kind, a pedophile, a zoophile, a necrophile, pretty much if you have any kind of paraphilia that actively causes harm to someone or is just straight up gross, if you condone or consume loli/shotacon/cub content, if you condone or consume feral nsfw, if you are a trump supporter, if you are a zionist, or if you are a right winger of any kind. That's all I could think of for the DNI, you don't have to take it seriously I know that DNIs do not work. But I'm just putting this here so that you know that if you are any of the things on this list, you will be blocked on sight. This list is subject to change in the future.

Don't come into the askbox of this blog asking me to donate stuff or boost your posts. I'm not saying that I wouldn't do it, I'm just saying that I want to keep this blog to just being personal stuff. Normally I'd say go to my main blog, @rydrake6, but I'm taking a break right now to think about stuff.

My DMs are open, just don't be a dick. (Also keep in mind that I have pretty bad social anxiety and just bad social skills in general, or so I think, so I might be a little bit awkward.)

Breaking the boundaries listed above will lead to you getting blocked.

[heiseidominantation]

Heisei Cataclysm "Anima • Animus • Isolate" (Keseran & Siomidu)

A clouded sky. 

A shower of sticky black rain. 

A strange street. A strange building.

There were two figures on the spire-like roof of a Western church.

—Again.

Though she thought as much, she couldn't move. She just stood there. She stood there looking at the two people facing each other. One was a boy. The other was a girl. They looked as old as she was, and she was sure they were around the same age as her. Under the lightless sky, she could only make out the pair's eyes. Both had red and blue eyes. But what dwelled in that bright stone-like clear color was a freezing murderous intent. This wasn't just a fight. One person was definitely trying to kill the other in a literal sense. And they would try again tonight, too.

The black-haired boy, dressed in a school uniform with a stuffed collar, used a blue light as his sword and slashed at the girl, who wore the same clothes as him, with her snow-white hair tied in pigtails. The girl, on the other hand, took the boy's sword with a red sword in her hand, washed it away, and waved the blade to his torso. But her sword didn't reach the boy. In an instant, the boy jumped back and thrust his sword at the girl's neck. In an attempt to respond, the girl held up her sword and rushed at the boy's chest.

The two shadows crossed. In a moment when there was no time to scream, a splash of something spewed from their stuck faces. The smell of iron. 

The two in front of her were no longer moving. Their expressions had seemed like they were crying, or perhaps smiling.

"—Uwaa!?"

Her heart was beating fast and she woke up in a nervous sweat. When she looked around, she found her own messy room as usual. The light leaking through the gaps in the curtains was the sign morning had arrived. She rubbed her face with her hands, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. It wasn't dirty anywhere, and there was nothing strange about it.

"Oh, it was just that dream again today…"

She muttered, and on the bed, Tokido Haku raked up her natural gray hair.

※

This time, it was a mutual attack.

When she finally calmed down, she brushed her teeth and looked at her short hair in the mirror and her half-asleep face. Ever since she was in junior high school, she always had nightmares every night. 

The dream of a boy and a girl whom she had never met before. The place was always the same. The situation was always the same, too. But the results were different every time. In her dream yesterday, after a fierce battle, the boy had cut through the girl. In the dream she had the night before yesterday, the two of them got tangled up and fell off the roof. And the night before that, the girl put an angelic smile on her pretty face and cut the boy's neck.

Ew… No, I don't want to remember any of this. It'll make breakfast taste bad.

She spat water into the sink and wiped her mouth with a towel. Her friends often told her that brushing her teeth before eating was meaningless, but somehow she felt restless.

Today is Saturday. Did I have any plans?

Looking at the high school uniform on the wall and the calendar next to it, she did nothing but wear her pajamas. Her uniform consisted of a sailor fuku and skirt. Despite how boyish her voice sounded, Haku was a girl.

I'm sleepy. I don't feel like I've slept ever since I've had that dream every night. But I've never had another dream after sleeping twice. I wonder if I should go to the hospital.

—On second thought, let's not do that. 

Haku immediately canceled her idea. She couldn't tell the doctor that she dreamt of two people killing each other every night. In the first place, she didn't think it would be solved if she consulted the doctor anyway. Her parents had been traveling abroad for a long time because of work, and although she had friends, she didn't want to worry them about strange things.

If possible, she didn't want to have a dream like that again tonight. But…

Those two seem like familiar people, don't they?

Maybe it's because she watched them every night. With that in mind, she reached out to the bag of breadsticks. The sound of her silent smartphone shaking made her jump up. She picked it up by her bedside and found a new message.

"Where are you now? Did you forget our plans? Gather in Katakago!!"

There were about 10 other messages. It seemed to have been sent many times since about two hours ago.

"Crap!!"

She was so distracted by her dream that she didn't notice the incoming call at all. This was bad, she was completely late. 

She completely forgot — today was a "club" day!! 

She hurriedly put on her clothes, slung her bag on her shoulder, pushed the bread into her mouth, and rushed out of the 1DK apartment. 

The weather was clear. The era's name was Heisei. At this time, the world was still "peaceful".

※

"...You're late. Haku, you're really weak with mornings!"

"Sorry, Liz. I remembered it well before I went to bed last night. Forgive me!"

At the entrance of the arcade "Katakago", stood a person she knew waiting for her. Another girl, Amemiya Lislette, with her blue eyes and hair tied like a headband, turned a sulky expression to the late Haku.

"It's not crowded yet, so it's still okay. I'm looking forward to your success today."

Akari spoke soothingly to Liz. Mitsuoka Akari was a girl with a gentle smile and intelligent glasses. The two were precious friends of Haku's and members of the same club.

"I guess so. It's a time when families haven't arrived yet, so I think there's still room available."

Liz spoke, still dissatisfied.

"If you're aiming for a ranking, you have to start early. Haku, you're our ace. Be aware of that and do your best."

"Well... I'm not trying to be an ace."

"Just be aware you're going to be big! Now go right away!"

With a sudden turn of her back, Liz made her way to the elevator in the hall.

"D-Did I offend her?"

She thought she was being modest, but Akari whispered softly to her as she scratched her cheek.

"Fufufu, Liz-san isn't angry. She's been worried about Haku-san for a long time."

"H-Hey, Akari!?"

Looking back, Akari smiled at Liz, whose face was red, and continued on.

"She's been holding her cell phone and looking outside, saying, "It's dangerous these days, maybe she was involved in an incident.". I was afraid of how worried she was."

"I-I didn't realize I made you worry so much. I'm so sorry, Liz."

"S-Shut up! It's only natural, isn't it? …Because we're friends."

"Yeah, thank you."

When Haku thanked Liz, Liz humphed with dyed cheeks. Akari looked at her gently.

It was a warm exchange. Because of these girls, Haku could forget her nightmares during the day.

"Oh, come to think of it, where are Kyou and the others?"

When she realized that there were missing members, Akari informed her.

"Kyou-san and the others went to the station."

"They've all gone that way for reconnaissance at other arcades, even though it's just been done. You and I are the only ones who can increase our rank."

"I see. I'll have to work harder because there are less members than usual."

"That's what I just said!"

"Now now. Well, let's go. As your advisor, I'll do my best to record it."

Haku pressed the elevator button while following Liz's tsukkomi and Akari. 

The gun shooting game section on the 3rd floor. That was the location where their "club activities" took place. And the "Heisei Snipers" — that was the name of Haku and the others' "club".

She held the gun controller, positioning it directly in front of her, and looked at the screen. Shooting right, shooting left, dodging incoming bullets. With her smooth movements, Haku had, as a matter of course, struck astronomical scores. She couldn't hear the noise of other game consoles or the admiration of Liz and Akari watching. Haku, however, was absorbed in the task of shooting an enemy on a panel larger than her own height.

It was a very simple game. It was an ordinary story about becoming an agent to rescue the kidnapped president's daughter and shooting at the enemy. However, the difficulty which gave the fear of being the first to die and the heat of the score ranking match, which was updated in real time, were the reasons why this game was loved by so many people — and why Haku and the others were working hard. 

The "Heisei Snipers" were a group of boys and girls of the same age who liked arcade shooting games. Even if it wasn't an official club, they were enthusiastic about their club activities. The members who found out that they liked the same games naturally gathered together, and started this "club" back in middle school. Even now, they continued their activities as high schoolers. And Haku was the ace recognized by everyone in the "Snipers". Haku was so good at shooting that she couldn't believe that she had only started playing games after she became a middle school student. She may even have been what was called a "born genius". 

No matter how unreasonable the game was, Haku felt a little embarrassed when her friends trusted her to clear it at the top level. However, Haku was also happy to receive compliments towards her game hobby. And she really liked the tension and the sharpening of her thoughts when she faced her enemies on the screen.

She could do it. She looked at the boundaries of the stage and the score in the upper right corner of the screen. She was in good shape today. If this was the case, she thought she'd be able to surpass the high score that she hit 10 days ago.

Haku exhaled thinly, putting her strength into her grip, in order to engage in the last boss. When…

Huh…?

She naturally lost her groove in the game. As if she had been sucked in, as if she had discovered something she couldn't miss, her eyes went puffy and she turned to her side. And before she could understand the reason for this, an unmissable being moved swiftly through the edge of her vision. 

Short dark hair. Clothes with a tight collar. A strained expression. And mysterious eyes shining red and blue.

—That was the boy. Every night she dreamt of the boy killing, the boy being killed, the boy dying. This was that same person. He was the boy who wielded a blue sword!!

"Ah…"

Just as she thought about it, there was a faint moan coming out of course.

Was I seeing things...? No, I wasn't. He was really walking over there. But that can't be true, right!?

She looked for him, but he was nowhere to be seen as if he had disappeared. Her aimless gaze wandered in the air—

"Haku!"

Liz's voice suddenly returned her consciousness. She hurriedly turned her attention back to the game and found an agent lying on the screen before the enemy's fierce attack.

"...O-Oh no."

When she looked back, she saw Akari operating the tablet in a depressed manner, and Liz's worried face.

"The no damage bonus no longer applies. That's unfortunate…"

"What's up with you? Are you okay? It's unusual for you to space out when you're playing a game."

"Oh, y-yeah."

While playing the game that started from the beginning of the last boss match, Haku thought and answered.

"Um, I'm a little short of sleep today. No, or maybe I've slept too much."

She didn't want to make them worry about something weird.

"I was just a little dazed. I'm sorry, it's alright now."

"If you say so, then…"

"Let's take a break at the drink bar later."

At the same time, she felt both relieved and guilty about the two people who understood her.

Sorry for lying to you. It's because I don't know what's going on, myself.

Was "the boy" real or a hallucination? Was she crazy or not?

Haku clenched her teeth and shot at the enemy, as if her dreams were eroding reality. It wasn't long after that that she had cleared the game.

※

"I feel that your top position remained unwavering today, after all."

Liz shrugged her shoulders as she sipped cola with a straw at the arcade's drink bar.

"Yes, you're always amazing. There was a crowd forming earlier."

"A crowd of people, huh..."

As Akari smiled with tea in her hand, Haku held an orange juice cup with both hands and looked down. There were a lot of people in the crowded area — maybe "the boy" was one of them. Or was she seeing strange things and "the boy" never existed? The nightmares up until now had been nothing but childhood dreams.

"What's up with you? You're acting really weird today. You didn't catch a cold, did you?"

"Eh!? Oh, no! I said it's alright!"

When she answered, she drank some of her juice. The sweetness eased her anxiety a little.

"It's a time when there's a big difference in temperature, so be careful not to catch a cold. It'll be a big problem if you had to rest... Oh. Come to think of it, we have a test on Monday."

"Geh! I-I forgot!"

Liz and Haku were drawn back to reality and looked at each other.

"It's an English test, isn't it? I wonder why the teacher wants to take the examination at a strange time."

"Ugh. I don't even remember what I did in that class."

"It's alright, the both of you."

Akari spoke with a chuckle.

"The teacher only asks questions about the syntax in the class, so there's no problem if you review it in your notebook."

"You can only say that because you're Akari, who takes notes and studies…"

"I think so, too! Ah, I'll have to study when I get home!"

"I'm finally going to do it and I won't forget!"

If she had a big problem in front of her, the problem far away would look small and hazy. The day after tomorrow's test was more worrying and weighed more on her mind than "the boy" who had disappeared like a vision.

As I thought, there happened to be someone who looked like him, so I guess I had just mistaken that person for him.

—Let's go with that.

"Now, once you've taken a breather, it's my turn. I'll repaint Haku's score today!"

She nodded to Liz with a "yes". And while she was having a good time, Haku was completely unconcerned about "the boy".

※

"I'm home."

After greeting an empty room and putting the bento box she bought at a convenience store on the kotatsu, she stretched.

Today was fun, too! I'm a little tired, but I have to study.

With that in mind, she opened the curtains that she had left closed. It was about time the sun went down outside, and when she saw it, a vague loneliness filled her heart.

It was only a few minutes ago that Liz, who seemed frustrated because she couldn't exceed Haku's score, left with Akari, who seemed satisfied with their performance. But when she returned to the quiet house alone, she felt somewhat depressed.

...It's the usual. But even though it's the usual, I guess I'm still not used to it either.

She thought so in a self-deprecating manner. But Haku, who knew by experience that these feelings would disappear in fifteen minutes after her return, went to the wash-basin distractingly.

And after a while…

"Ahh, I knew this would happen."

She expected it, but she hung her head. After she finished eating the bento, she turned her back to the veranda, got into the kotatsu, and opened her English notebook for now.

What is this. Even if it's because I was dozing off in class, isn't this too much…? I don't understand any of this.

The contents of her notebook were terrible. At first, she had properly written down what was on the board, but as soon as she began to feel sleepy, the letters had mutated and eventually no one could read them.

I guess I have no choice but to ask Akari if I can copy her notes.

Akari always helped her with a smile, but if she just relied on her, that would be kind of bad.

But dozing off during class feels good. I don't have to have that nightmare when I doze off.

With a sigh, Haku looked at her messy handwriting and flipped through her notebook.

Then, her hand stopped. 

Huh?

She found a readable part of her notebook. It was a part of last week's class that seemed to be from the board, and the words that had been wavy like extreme electrocardiogram graphs suddenly became clear. Moreover, it was different from the letters written by Haku, and it was written in beautiful handwriting like a calligraphy model.

"A pleasant era will murder people."

"What… is this?"

Her voice trembled before she knew it. It wasn't someone's prank, was it? It was written completely during class, and after this sentence, there was also a squishy line drawn as it was before.

"Don't tell me…!"

She quickly turned the page over, guided by her intuition. Then, in the same words, it was written in the same way in the class that had just happened yesterday.

"The work has begun behind the scenes of everyday life in peace and comfort."

"Be prepared when you notice this message."

"...What?"

Pieces of writing written in a flash. It could only be read like a warning or something like that.

The work has begun behind the scenes of everyday life. What's this?

After she was stunned, she couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"Pfft. What was I doing? Even if I was half asleep, I don't think I would write this!"

It was like a document addressed to an agent in a game.

"And it's much better written than usual. I wonder if I have a hidden talent for things like this?"

She wished she had copied the teacher's board with these letters. With that in mind, Haku rolled on her back on the floor. When she raised her chin, her vision turned upside down, and beyond the veranda, she saw the upside down sunset. The towering buildings were up and the clouds were down.

Haah… I'm sure I can't study, after all.

A crow flew through the twilight sky. She was starting to feel sleepy. Even if she went to bed now, she knew she would have to watch that nightmare again, but she didn't think she could beat drowsiness. When she was about to fall asleep, she suddenly opened her eyelids.

"...Mm?"

That was weird. A strong sense of incongruity made her feel sleepy and open her eyes wide. The building wasn't "upside down". It stood upright from bottom to top in her field of vision that was supposed to be upside down. 

No, that was wrong. When she rubbed her eyes and jumped up in a hurry, she opened the curtain wide, and there was a strange sight. Yes, the familiar building streets were normal — but above them, from heaven to earth, like a mirror image or something, another city was "standing." A group of buildings, breaking through the clouds at dusk, suddenly appeared, looking down upon her haughtily.

"W-W-What is this!?"

A loud voice came out, and people from outside could be heard making noise.

A-Are they filming a movie? There's no way…!

Haku, who didn't have a TV, hurriedly checked the internet. It seemed that the same phenomenon was happening all over the world. Panic, surprise, conspiracy theories, gossip, natural disasters, the sea of the internet was rough.

I wonder if everyone is doing okay…!?

While thinking of the members of the "Heisei Snipers," Haku touched the screen of her smartphone to get in touch with them.

A terrific roar.

"U-Uwa!?"

Haku leaped up and looked out of the window, and was shocked again. It was raining this time, and it wasn't just raining. It was black rain. It was raining so black that it was like a joke. The raindrops that flew in the wind stuck to the veranda glass and were unlikely to fall easily. She heard a scream from the outside.

"M-Maybe there was a fire somewhere... and maybe that's why the rain is getting darker?"

Or there was an accident at a chemical plant or something, or… terrorism?

Waving her confused head, Haku put her hand on the curtain, not wanting to see any more of this nightmarish scene. Then she suddenly realized…

In the rain-blocked view, there was a church spire that stood out in one corner of a group of buildings growing out of the sky. It didn't exist in this neighborhood street, but Haku "knew" what it was.

That was the place where those two were fighting — the usual place, that place.

"...Is this a nightmare?"

It wasn't like that. Yes, Haku knew. This sticky black rain, and that spire. It's the very sight she always dreamt of.

"It's a nightmare…!!!"

As soon as she realized it, her legs trembled and gave way to the floor. If it was a dream, she wanted to wake up. She hit herself on the head, but the pain got worse, and she thought it was definitely reality.

That's right. Today... I saw the boy in my dream.

She was sure that person she saw at the arcade wasn't a hallucination. It was true.

My dream came true!

Her spine and her whole body trembled violently, and when she entered the kotatsu for warmth, the freezing fear at her core never disappeared. Outside, emergency broadcasts were being broadcasted with loud sirens. They were shouting desperately, "Please refrain from going out, and evacuate indoors."

If it's a dream, wake up. Hurry!!

Haku, wishing so again, checked the screen of her smartphone with her trembling hands.

Ah…

It was filled with messages from people she knew. Calls didn't seem to be working, but everyone seemed to be safe. And everyone was worried about Haku.

"That black rain seems dangerous to touch. Haku, don't go out in a daze!"

"Haku-san, are you at home? I hope you're safe."

...Thank you. I'm fine.

The peace of mind that wrapped around her chest naturally oozed tears. She didn't know what happened, but as long as everyone was safe, that was fine. Haku breathed a sigh of relief, and held her finger over the screen to send a message that she was safe.

"Ah."

Her finger slipped and touched the Memo icon. And before she thought about hitting back, she looked at the words on it and gasped.

"When you're reading this, there might be black rain outside."

The writing continued further. 

—She didn't remember writing this. Or rather, she didn't even remember running the Memo app in recent months. Once again, she was thrown into a whirlwind of confusion, and still sliding the screen, Haku read on with her writing.

"It's no wonder you're confused, but you shouldn't stay there. I want you to get ready to move as soon as possible and come to the warehouse on the first floor of your building. I'll be waiting there."

"Who… wrote this?"

"As I've said many times, please come to the warehouse as soon as you finish reading this. — Rei."

That's where the sentence ended.

"R… Rei?"

Was that the name of the person who wrote this sentence? While doubting her eyes, she checked the date and time when the text was written that wasn't displayed on the edge of the screen. It was this morning — the time when Haku was still supposed to be having a nightmare.

"W-W-What is…?"

She looked at the veranda, muttering incoherently. The sticky rain had already covered the glass door, and it was as if the whole building had been enveloped in darkness.

"What's happening…? What the hell is going on!?"

She screamed at the letters on the Memo, but there was no answer. Haku crawled out of the kotatsu with her smartphone in hand, grabbed her bag almost unconsciously, and then swung toward the front door.

—She didn't believe that message. She was just going to see what's going on outside…

She stood unsteadily in front of the front door, making excuses. And…

"Uwa!?"

She jumped up to the sound of a huge crack in the veranda glass in the living room, and stuck her foot in her shoes and ran out the door.

※

In the back of the corridor on the first floor of the public housing complex, there was a large door in a secluded place. It was a warehouse for emergency equipment, and Haku also checked the location once for a disaster drill. She heard that there were a lot of things that were needed in the event of a disaster.

"Ugh…"

She hesitated when she came to the warehouse. It was her first time trying to get in. Was it open without a key in the first place?

...If it isn't, I'll give up and go home.

There was no one there yet, but as far as the outside was concerned, there must have been a lot of people coming there before long. Before that, she would just check and go home. 

When she came to her thoughts, she gently laid her hand on the warehouse door. Contrary to expectations that it wouldn't move, the sliding door opened really easily. She was surprised for a moment by the unexpectedly loud noise.

"—You came. You're late."

She could hear the voice of a strange, stern boy.

"Eh!?"

The inside of the warehouse was larger than she expected, with space in the center. And a boy in black sat atop the pile of supplies in the corner. He looked at her with great composure. He had dark hair, red and blue eyes, and a tight mouth. He was better-looking than most men. However, there was an air of infinite emptiness. 

Yes, this was "the boy".

"Ah, y-you're…!"

Haku spoke with her mouth wide open. 

"Y-You, you're, um, from my dreams, from the arcade, no, well, R-Rei…?"

"Go in quickly and close the door there. You don't want to be seen."

He ordered in a stern tone.

"I-I understand!"

He had the power to make her nod. Haku went in and, bewildered, closed the door behind her back. Then it was dark all at once in the warehouse, and only a small lamp, which he seemed to have brought in, lit up the surroundings. Outside the small window, it still seemed to be raining black.

"Now then."

Before Haku could open her mouth, he uttered a cry, and when he got down to the floor, he walked up to her with a lamp in his hand.

"I'm sure you're Tokido Haku, yes?"

"Y-Yeah."

"I see."

He glanced at her with his unique eyes. Was it sorrow or anger in them?

After answering in an incoherent voice, he put his hand to his chest and spoke quietly.

"I am Tokido Rei, the one who sent you the message."

"Oh, so you were Rei, after all."

While she was relieved that the other person's identity was clear, questions arose.

"Um, how on earth did you write in my notebook and smartphone? And "Tokido"... I think we have the same family name. Are you my relative?"

"..."

Rei kept his mouth shut.

"U-Um…"

"I don't have time to answer your questions."

Interrupting Haku's words, Rei spoke in a very calm and intonation-less tone.

"No, I don't have time to talk here. Just follow me."

"Eh? Follow you... Why?"

"I said I don't have time to explain. If you don't follow me, there's no point!"

As soon as Rei said it, he grabbed Haku's wrist. His hands were warm, indicative of a man of blood, but at the same time his strength conveyed an indescribable strong will.

"Come with me!"

He said, but Haku had no reason to go with him. In the first place, that black rain was dangerous. She wondered where they would be going at such a time.

"W-Wait a minute!"

Haku said in a strong tone.

"Why should I follow you!? And furthermore…"

Rei's expression became a little grim when he listened to her question. Eventually, he opened his eyes wide and turned quickly to the window.

"Get back!!"

"Wah!?"

With a thud on her chest, Haku banged her back against a pile of boxes of goods, away from the window. And when she looked forward, she saw…

"Ah…!?"

A shadow penetrated like the wind through the window... and she could see Rei's back facing it. The shadow quietly descended to the floor of the warehouse.

Long, snow-white hair tied into pigtails. She quickly put it together. 

Beautiful but lifeless, doll-like features. Clothes very similar to Rei. And the blue and red eyes opposite Rei. It was another character out of her nightmares. It was "the girl". 

With an unimpressed look on her face, she looked at Rei, who was standing up, and opened her mouth.

"Hello."

Her voice was a little high-pitched and cute. It was like a voice heard in an anime, rather than one heard in real life.

W-What's going on? Should I greet her back?

She couldn't help but think about it, but Rei's sharp voice brought her back to reality.

"Sakuhi, so you've come this far? Go home! This isn't a good place for me or you."

"Unfortunately, I'm already here. And you understand what's going on out there, don't you?"

The girl, called Sakuhi, waved her right hand lightly as soon as she spoke. Then, in the palm of her hand, Haku saw a knife the size of a face.

"The 〔Surface〕's peace is broken. From now on, it's our era. That's what's happening."

Sakuhi calmly told Haku the confirmed facts. At the same time, the knife grew long with a bright crimson light like fireworks.

T-That's...!

The red sword the girl always wielded in Haku's nightmares! When she saw Rei's body being cut many times in her dream, she realized that Sakuhi's gaze was towards her, and a chill ran down her spine.

"Before the battle, we need to get rid of unnecessary things. That's why, you—"

Sakuhi pointed to Haku with the tip of the red sword, and spoke.

"—Won't you die quickly for me?"

A ruthless declaration, followed by an instant pause.

"Eh…!?"

"Watch out!!"

Rei screamed and stood up quickly. He also held a blue sword in his hand, and took the blade Sakuhi had shaken down, and a fierce battle began.

"Ggh…!!"

Sakuhi and Rei had the same power. Yes, it was the same as her nightmares.

But now I... I can't move like in the dream!

Quickly, Haku hurriedly distanced herself and looked around her. It was too dangerous to escape outside because she had to pass by Sakuhi's side.

"You stupid fool! You're working really hard today, aren't you?"

While the pressed blades were making a loud noise, Sakuhi spoke to Rei to make fun of him. Rei responded coldly.

"I could say the same to you. Are you going wild in despair?"

"Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not desperate like you!"

In line with her words, the red light on Sakuhi's sword glittered more and more violently. The moment Rei and Haku saw it, they gasped—

"I'm very happy now, actually. ...That's why!"

"Whoa!?"

The sword wore a crimson flash and overcame Rei's power. While Rei, who had been blinded and knocked off, was crouching, Sakuhi ran straight to Haku!

"Ah...!"

Haku raised her voice, and unconsciously moved to the right. Before she knew it, Sakuhi's blade had cut through a bag of supplies on the left side. If she had stood still, she would have been torn apart.

"U-Ugh...!"

The first pure murderous intent in her life. Sakuhi clicked her tongue at the sight of Haku, who was about to throw up at the blackness.

"Tsk. I heard that ordinary people in the 〔Surface〕 were amateurs. They shouldn't be able to avoid things."

"D-Don't say that!"

While she was arguing, Sakuhi, who wrinkled her eyebrows displeasingly, was re-holding her sword. If she got attacked again, she couldn't run away this time. Such a hunch ran through her brain.

"Hah!!"

Sakuhi kicked the floor with a shout. 

—It was over!!

She crouched down and held her head. It wasn't her parents who passed her mind, but her club friends.

"Ggh!!"

Then she heard a dull moan, and she looked up.

"R-Rei!!"

Rei's right chest was pierced by the red blade. 

H-He covered me...!

As soon as she thought about it, she felt a sharp pain like she had been cut, and her heart was full of emotion.

"Ahahaha!"

Meanwhile, Sakuhi spoke with an angelic smile.

"That's fine. It suits you well, Rei."

We're in trouble, what should I do…? And it's not an injury I can take care of in the first place… At this rate, Rei and I will be…!

She was going to get killed by Sakuhi.

Eh…?

At that time, Rei's right hand, stretched back, held Haku's right wrist tightly. And there was no time to be confused.

""Transmit"!"

Rei muttered in a low voice. At the same time, the surrounding space bent and moved away with a roar.

"...N-No…!"

She heard Sakuhi protesting from afar for a moment.

W-What is this...!?

Haku clenched her teeth in a violent shock that seemed to shake her brain directly.

Really, what's going on?

She couldn't stand it and lost consciousness.

※

—There was an altar right in front of her. The altar was recognized because there was God's relief on the wall behind it. Standing in front of a platform the size of which she could lie, she heard an adult's voice from behind. A strange voice that could be heard as both a woman and a man.

"Now, lie there."

The voice repeated itself again.

"Lie down. Then you can be an angel."

An angel?

"A beautiful, blood-stained angel who breaks the barrier of the two worlds and brings out the best."

She laid slowly on the altar, gently enticed by their voice. The marble was colder than she thought and took away her body temperature.

—"Oh, so this is what it's like to die", she thought.

※

"Hah!"

What she saw was a white inorganic ceiling. Haku, who had risen, noticed that her head was still wobbly, and put her hand on her forehead. She was alright. 

Next to the bed, which she had been lying down on, was the bag taken out of her room. But all she recognized was the bag. Other than that, there were only white, unadorned walls and floors, wooden tables and a few chairs, and a huge metal box in the corner of the room that stood out.

…I had a dream that wasn't my usual nightmare earlier. It's been a long time since one of those.

Without thinking about it, she thought something strange to escape from reality and patted her head blankly.

No, no. Now's not the time to be absentminded. Where am I?

She went down to the floor, put her bag on her shoulder, and walked up to the table. On the table, a knife was laid bare. 

This… is the same knife that Sakuhi used!

Which meant maybe this was Sakuhi's place!? She looked around in horror.

"Have you woken up?"

"Uwa!?"

She couldn't help but scream at the sudden call from behind. Looking back, she saw Rei.

"H-H-How long have you been there!?"

"Don't be so loud. This is my hideout, so don't worry."

"S-Sorry. I was a little surprised."

Haku apologized to Rei who had a slightly sulky expression, with a shy smile.

"That's right! I-Is your injury okay!?"

"Injury?"

 Rei tilted his head for a moment and then spoke an "ah".

"You mean the wound that Sakuhi had inflicted earlier? In that case, it's alright now."

He patted himself on the chest. Certainly, there were no wounds anywhere. There wasn't even a trace of blood.

"It's always the case. It's nothing to worry about."

Rei said so in a somewhat dark tone.

"B-But because you covered for me earlier, you received such a terrible wound!"

And it must have also been Rei who brought the fainted Haku to this place.

"Um, thank you very much. You saved my life."

When Haku bowed her head deeply and thanked Rei, he was stunned. Next, he made a slightly shy gesture—

"I told you it's nothing to worry about."

He returned to his calm expression and spoke. She felt relieved to see so. But at the same time as she was relieved, she began to wonder.

"B-By the way, Rei-san!"

"Rei is fine. "How did you recover from such a serious injury", right?"

When he responded as if he read her feelings, Rei approached the table and picked up the knife.

"This is my knife. "Blue Sword" — When I reveal the blade I always use, I use it as a core."

"...Y-Yeah."

When Rei nodded back to Haku, who somehow nodded, he gently pressed his right hand knife against his left wrist.

"Ah!"

Before she could stop him, the blade cut Rei's wrist. Red blood overflowed.

"W-What are you doing!?"

"It's okay. Watch it."

Rei spoke without losing his calm tone. As she was told, Haku looked at his painful wound. Then, only a few seconds later, his wound began to close.

"Eh?"

Surprisingly, his cut was completely blocked as if he had rewinded an image. The blood naturally returned to the inside of his skin, and soon his left wrist was intact.

"T-This is…"

"This is the "Cruelty Cup"."

Rei said something she had never heard before.

"It's magic that I was born with, that only I had... that I should have never had."

"M-Magic?"

When she looked into Rei's eyes without thinking, he looked back at her as if to remind her.

"When I'm traumatized, my body automatically absorbs the magic elements from the surrounding atmosphere and repairs the wound. If it's a serious injury, the wound will heal slowly, but I'll never die whether my neck is cut off or jumped off or skewered. That's why…"

Rei stopped once and went on.

"It's just as you saw it every night."

"!"

Every night. Yes, Rei and Sakuhi killed each other every night. Even if Rei and Sakuhi died one night in her dreams, both of them would have appeared in her dreams the next day. That's why—

"By any chance…"

Haku spoke with trembling lips.

"B-By any chance, were those dreams not "dreams", but something that was happening in real life…? You and Sakuhi killed each other many times, but you're still here now because of that "magic"… That’s what you're saying, right?"

Strangely enough, she didn't feel like doubting it. There were so many things going on that were out of the ordinary. She didn't think magic was suspicious, but that didn't mean the shock of it all would go away, either.

"I must explain a lot to you."

Rei didn't give a direct answer, but said so as to calm her down, placing his knife back on the table and putting his hand up. Then, part of the white wall became transparent without sound, and she could see the outside like a window. Outside, she could see many buildings lined up, but they were so dirty that they looked like ruins. Beyond the building, there was that spire. However, the spire wasn't facing upside down as seen from the window of her room, but was standing in the same direction as the building. And furthermore,

"Huh?"

Haku noticed that, perhaps from the ground to the sky, there were countless black liquids floating in the air like swarming creatures. The black liquid, which had become a round grain, was rapidly accelerating in the middle, and rising like an arrow into the sky. It was like looking at the rain upside down.

"Ah! D-Don't tell me this is…!?"

"Yes, this is the other world that appeared above your world."

Rei lowered his hand, and turned to her and spoke.

"It's the 〔Reverse World〕."

"The world is divided into two areas."

Rei explained calmly as he sat across the table with Haku sitting in a chair.

"You live in the 〔Surface World〕 of science while the 〔Reverse World〕is of magic. The two areas are close, but civilization developed in different ways. And the difference continued to destabilize the world, distorting both sides, and in the end, it appeared in your world in the form of a fight between its people."

"A fight... Like a war?"

"Yes, on a large scale. But the same is true of crimes and other causes. For example, Japan, where you live, is in a "peaceful" state with no acts of war, but crimes are increasing. It's because of the distortion caused by the conflict with the 〔Reverse〕."

Rei spoke, stroking the knife blade on the table with his fingers.

"On the other hand, in the 〔Reverse World〕, distortion appears in the form of a decrease in the number of wizards. The world was originally composed of only those who were good at handling magic, or wizards. But over the last 70 years, more and more people have been born unable to use magic."

Rei turned to her and continued.

"If you look at the 〔Surface〕, it's like someone who was born with no electrical appliances, so it's a big problem."

"I see…"

Haku was convinced that it would certainly be a disaster.

"By the way, I'm a wizard. The "Blue Sword", the "Cruelty Cup", and the transfer that brought you here are all kinds of magic. But I wasn't born in this world."

"Eh?"

"I will explain it step by step. ...An organization appeared in this world where wizards were decreasing."

Rei's eyes became sharper.

 "The name of the organization is "Dominant". They are all incredibly skilled wizards who boast of themselves as "dominant species". And they have a fearful idea of electing people."

"A fearful idea of electing people, you say…"

Haku drew out a dim knowledge of world history and spoke.

"Um, do you mean to say that they think that they're special and chosen people?"

"Yes. And in their case, people who can use magic are the only beings that matter, and the rest are inferior."

He glanced at her with his red and blue eyes.

"They thought that if they gathered people who could use magic, drive out other people, and erase the distortion-causing 〔Surface World〕, the world would become peaceful."

"Eh? T-That's it?"

"Yes, people in the 〔Surface〕 basically can't use magic. That's why no one noticed the existence of the 〔Reverse〕 that was blocked from being detected by the power of science. Taking advantage of this, Dominant started preparing 20 years ago and took control of the 〔Reverse〕. And today, their "revolution" has begun."

That's the black rain—

"Black rain is the ultimate dark magic. People who aren't wizards, or substances that don't contain magical elements are cursed to "break" just by touching it."

"D-Do you mean we're going to die? The broken glass was also because of the rain…"

She heard that the black rain was harmful, but she couldn't believe it was caused by magic. 

"Well... I understand now that the black rain outside is because of "Dominant"."

But Haku asked, leaning forward.

"But what do you mean that you weren't born here, but you're a wizard?"

"There are very few people in the 〔Surface World〕 who have the talent to use magic."

Rei returned his hand, which had been touching the knife.

 "Dominant is always looking for wizard comrades to cooperate with them, especially if they have rare magical talent. That's why they look for, kidnap, and increase the number of the same species with rare talents in the 〔Surface World〕." 

"Increase!?"

"By separating their body and mind."

Rei said so and looked down.

"When I was twelve years old, I was kidnapped on my way home from school, and my body and soul were divided by magic. In order to make comrades who had the same "Cruelty Cup" as me. That's why… Sakuhi was born."

"Eh!?"

Haku cried, startled.

"S-So you and her were originally one person?"

"Yes... she is one of my personalities, so to speak. That's why Sakuhi has the same "Cruelty Cup" as I do. But the difference between me and her is that I managed to escape, while she was recruited by Dominant."

"That's why you and Sakuhi... killed each other every night?"

"Yes, I want to stop her. But she can't allow me, her other self, to be hostile to Dominant. So we kill each other, but we can't settle it. That's exactly what you've seen."

Rei suddenly looked at the city of the building outside the wall and gazed far away.

"Actually, I wanted to do something before it rained. But I couldn't stop Dominant by myself."

His profile as he explained his story was sad.

"And I couldn't go directly to your world and warn you. Because of Dominant’s dark magic, I couldn't break through the "barrier". I could only appear in your dreams, manipulate your body when your consciousness was weak, and leave notes."

"I-I see."

She didn't know that was happening behind the world that she thought was peaceful.

The world was divided into two parts, magic really existed, wizards were trying to kill ordinary people, and Rei was kidnapped by them. When she thought about it again, she felt that she understood the reason for Rei's empty atmosphere. He was separated from his family and friends, and suddenly his body and mind were torn apart, and then he kept fighting alone.

That's too cruel.

She closed her eyelids with a sinking feeling. She suddenly had a question behind it.

"Um, Rei. Then, why did you choose me?"

"Why did I choose you?"

"I mean, why did you enter my dreams instead of someone else, someone more reliable? I can't fight with you, and I'm just a high school student."

"That's…"

Rei remarked. He remained silent for a moment.

This is bad. Did I say something I shouldn't have?

Haku didn't know what to say when she was scratching her cheek and panicking.

"...I'd better show you first."

Rei muttered and snapped his finger. Then the metal box behind him opened with a loud noise. Inside the box, which was opened, there was something packed inside.

"This is for you."

Rei took it out of the box and threw it over there casually.

"Wah!?"

When she received it, she immediately guessed what it was in his hand.

"This is a GunCon... No, it's a gun, right?"

A handgun made of gray metal. But its shape and weight looked exactly like the gun controller of the game machine that she used a lot during the day. Though it didn't have a code on it.

"It's a gun made by people against Dominant. I collected and kept it."

Rei spoke quietly.

"When you pull the trigger, you collect the thoughts from the heart of every human being and fire them as bullets. So there used to be a lot of people against wizards. It barely survived, but the performance of the gun itself is still fine."

"In other words, if I use this…"

"You can fight."

"N-No way!"

To her surprise, Rei spoke calmly.

"I just watched you fight today. I reconfirmed that you're a great user."

Then the boy she saw at "Katakago" during the day… As she thought, that was Rei, after all.

—But.

"W-Wait! That was just a game!"

"Yes, it's true that it was a game. But your talent isn't just a game."

"Even if you say that…"

She stared at the gun in her hand in disbelief. It was the first time she had seen it, but Haku held it in her hand as if it was an old partner or something. It was easy for her to imagine herself fighting with this. 

But even though they were evil wizards, they were still human beings. As a high school student, she couldn't believe she was fighting like a soldier… She couldn't do it.

"I don't need you to cooperate with me forever."

Rei spoke quietly.

"But I need your strength to stop the black rain falling in this area."

"Eh? Y-You know how to stop this rain!?"

He nodded his head.

"The magic will last as long as magic is being supplied to nuclear weapons. The dark mage in your city is Sakuhi. If you stop Sakuhi and destroy her nuclear weapons, at least the city you live in will be saved."

It seemed like a shining hope to help everyone. Haku looked at her gun again, it reminded her of everyone in the Heisei Snipers. Then she remembered Liz's words. 

"Be aware that you're going to be big."

If she could help everyone with her own power… 

And, yes, Rei had a big heart. But she hadn't returned his kindness yet.

Rei certainly has a body that can heal his injuries in an instant. But it's not without pain. And yet he still protected me from Sakuhi.

"...I understand."

After taking a deep breath, Haku replied.

"Eh?"

Rei's unexpected response was interesting, so she laughed a little and answered again.

"I said I understand, and I'll help you. I'll do what I can. Well, I'm really scared, but I might be able to help you… with this situation."

"Is that alright? Things will happen to you who have lived in a peaceful world. You'll see a lot of cruel things."

"No, that doesn't matter. If it's a cruel sight, I've dreamed of it every night since I was in junior high school. If it's a little bit more cruel, it's no problem. And I want to help everyone, too. My precious friends."

—It was strange that she could answer without hesitation. But thinking about everyone gave her courage.

"...Thank you."

Rei lifted the edge of his mouth a little when he spoke, with his eyes shining sadly.

"You... So you have precious friends."

It was only a few seconds before she realized that he was smiling.

"Then, let's go."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a place you know very well."

He quenched his smile and spoke.

"The spire is where Sakuhi lives, and where the core of her dark magic lies. My metastasis doesn't fly that far, so we have no choice but to go directly. But as long as you break it…"

"—I don't think that's possible."

She heard the girl's voice, Sakuhi's voice. Next, the space right next to the table bent, and Sakuhi herself appeared with a red sword in her hand.

"Ah! W-Why are you here!?"

Rei, as well as Haku, asked in surprise. Then she answered calmly.

"Because you forced the girl to metastasize with you, the space distortion was getting worse. I followed it and got here. That's all."

Then Sakuhi looked at Haku with murderous eyes. 

"But really, why are you so obsessed with her? I don't understand. You're a mess."

"You don't have to understand!"

With blunt words, Rei grabbed the knife on the table and revealed a blue light, his "Blue Sword".

"Haku, wear the robe in the box!"

While confronting Sakuhi, Rei shouted.

"It's a black robe. Wear it, and you'll be protected from the cursed rain!"

"G-Got it!"

As she was told, Haku approached the metal box and pulled out the hooded raincoat-like robe. She didn't have time to hesitate. There was only one robe. She hurriedly put it on.

"Are you going to run away? Sorry, but no. All inferior species are to be eliminated. That's just how it is!"

"I won't let you!"

Red and blue light collided violently. The aftermath of the attack damaged the white walls and ceilings and stirred up the noise of cars. Haku clenched her gun in her hand, and stayed still.

Don't move without permission. I said I'd do what I could…!

She observed Sakuhi's movements as the two shadows crossed each other and intersected. The work of suppressing her throbbing heartbeat and concentrating was the same experience that she had gained in games. Haku, like in the arcade, felt her thoughts sharpen.

"...Kh!"

Rei staggered around Sakuhi's body. Rei, who fought for Haku, seemed to have worse conditions than Sakuhi, who fought for her will to kill. Sakuhi then raised her sword at Rei's neck to stop him. 

"I'll cut off your head and bury it in the ground so you won't wake up ever again!"

"...!"

Rei, who was in a bad position, couldn't defend himself. If things went on like this, he'd be beaten!

Now!

At the same time, Haku's finger on the trigger was moving. 

Bang!

With a light sound, the red sword was blown away from Sakuhi's hand. She was staring with her eyes wide open at her right hand, where the bullet had hit and blood had begun to seep.

—She did it! To her own disbelief, it was excitement that Haku felt in her chest. While Sakuhi was looking at her, Rei quickly re-positioned his sword. However, Sakuhi looked at her hand as if she were unaware of it. It was strange.

"...Why?"

She muttered with trembling lips. 

"Why isn't my hand healing?"

"Eh?"

Haku couldn't help but let out a voice— and for some reason Rei's back seemed to tremble.

"Why isn't my hand healing? Why? Why!?"

Sakuhi screamed bitterly and turned her twin eyes, which were filled with hatred and fear of the unknown, to Haku.

"I've been shot so many times. By now, this wound would have quickly healed! Yet why is nothing happening after you shot me? I can't stop bleeding!!"

I-I don't know…

She replied, frightened by her sword screen.

It was true that Sakuhi's right hand didn't seem to be healing. But she had the same powers as Rei, so she was sure the wound would heal soon. She shot her with the intention of only temporarily stopping her movement. And yet why?

"Is the gun that the inferior person has special? No, that's not it. Because that's the kind of gun that used to hang around all over the place. Then you are—!"

What? Sakuhi's mouth moved like that. Rei's sword slashed at her while she was distracted.

"Kyaa!"

Sakuhi cried out. Haku almost turned away from the cruelty and vividness she had seen in her nightmares. But she would never let go of her gun-holding hand.

"Kh...!"

Holding the cut wound with her left hand, she glared at Rei and Haku. Blood was dripping.

"...Fine then. I'll greet you again later."

As she left, Sakuhi's appearance disappeared, and the knife she dropped disappeared from the room as well.

"D... D-Did she run away?"

"Temporarily. It will probably take about an hour to heal."

Putting the "Blue Sword" back into the knife, Rei looked back. His expression was darker than ever.

"Now, let's go, Haku. We have to destroy the dark magic!"

"Y-Yes!"

When Rei raised his hand, a part of the wall rose and became a door. 

Come to think of it, there was no entrance to the room. It must have been made in a special way with Rei's magic. 

Haku lowered her bag and, holding her gun, followed Rei out of the door. There was a narrow corridor outside, and the black walls and the floor were continuing.

"Through this space— If you go through this hallway, you'll really leave the building."

He spoke as he walked with his back to her.

"Outside is under Dominant's control. You'll be better hidden now, but be careful not to be spotted."

"All right."

She answered once and for all, and Haku asked timidly.

"Um, Rei?"

"What?"

"Can you tell me the reason? Why Sakuhi didn't recover from her injury?"

"..."

Rei didn't answer. She couldn't stand the silence, and Haku repeated the question again.

"T-The way she spoke, it was like she couldn't get over her injury because I was the one who shot her! Was there anything else you chose me for besides being able to use a gun?"

It was a strange story to begin with. If he wanted a good gunman, he could work with a soldier or a police officer. The reason why he went out of his way to ask for help from Haku, who was good at games, wasn't clear at all.

"Hey, Rei, Tell me! Why me?"

"..."

"Why me!? Tell me whose side you're on, please!"

She raised her voice in spite of herself, and asked. Her cry reverberated through the space in vain. 

"...Haku."

With a heavy voice, Rei stopped, turned his head, and replied.

"I'm on your... and your friends' side. I just want you to believe that. And…"

He continued, as he seemed to find it difficult to say.

"The reason you broke the "Cup" — I can't say why for now. But I'll tell you when it stops raining. So, will you wait for me?"

Why can't you answer now?

A question arose, but Haku suppressed it. The only reason for this was Rei's grim, bitter expression — she was sure there was something really going on.

"I understand."

She managed to answer cheerfully.

"If you say so, then I understand. You're the only one I can rely on in this world... and I believe in you. That's all right, isn't it?"

"Thank you."

Rei looked somewhat relieved and hurried on again — leaving a little embarrassed.

※

They hid themselves in the rubble and slipped through Dominant's surveillance about an hour later.

"This… is the same place I saw Rei."

When she looked up, she could see a high spire that penetrated the cloudy sky far away. At last, Haku and Rei had arrived at their destination. At the thought of the end, fear sprang up from the bottom of her heart.

No, now's not the time to be scared here! I have to be strong!

Rei spoke quietly to Haku, who slapped her cheeks.

"We've come all the way here. This is where we climb to the roof. Take my hand."

"Y-Yes."

When she held Rei's extended hand exactly as she was told, he muttered something Haku didn't know. Then a strong wind sprang up at his feet, and the amazed Haku floated in the air with Rei.

"Wow!"

She almost cried out in spite of herself, and hurriedly held her mouth with her empty left hand.

I'm flying!

She wandered about excitedly, and then looked towards Rei, looking grimly at the roof of the spire.

...That's right. Rei and Sakuhi went up to the roof every night and killed each other.

It was one lonely battle. Haku suddenly remembered Rei's words.

"So you have precious friends."

His eyes looked lonely. While her chest hurt secretly, black raindrops were moving up and down in front of her. After a while, Rei, who landed on the slope of the spire roof, pointed to the tip of the roof.

"Do you see something that looks like a purple crystal over there?"

"Oh, on the top of that cross?"

At the end of the roof, on the top of the cross, she saw something glittering.

"That's the core of dark magic. The only way to break it is to hit it with the same magic... So I'll do it."

Rei took his usual knife out of his pocket and spoke. 

"When Sakuhi appears, I need you to support me. But don't push yourself too hard."

"Yeah, I got it. Be careful, Rei."

"..."

Rei remained silent, but nodded with a slightly shy expression. However—

"—That's enough of your pretending at being good friends."

When both Rei and Haku heard Sakuhi's quiet voice, they suddenly gasped. When Rei pulled out his "Blue Sword" and Haku re-gripped her gun, she showed up. Sakuhi, who came up as slowly as they did, was almost unharmed, but the only thing that still bled was the wound on her right hand. Her blue and red eyes had a cold murderous will, and in her left hand was her usual sword— No. It was three times longer than usual, and the sword she was holding had a red light like a flame.

"I'm afraid that's the end of your adventure. My "Red Sword" will cut you to pieces this time. That's just how it is."

"Kh…!"

I have to calm down! I have to calm down and help Rei!

Haku held up her gun and looked at Sakuhi's gap. But now she was completely on her guard. It wasn't the time to attack. Sakuhi's eyes turned towards her.

"By the way, you... Haku, was it? Before I cut you to pieces, I have something to ask you."

An angelic smile appeared on Sakuhi's doll-like face. 

Huh…?

"Don't listen to her!"

Rei screamed, and at the same time, he leapt in one breath with his "Blue Sword" in hand and attacked Sakuhi. Sakuhi easily accepted the blow.

"My, that's no good, Rei. I have something to ask this girl."

"There's nothing for you to ask from Haku!"

Rei screamed again as if he were trying to erase Sakuhi's words. Haku was confused for a moment, but now she thought it was time to fight.

That's right, I'm going to protect everyone!!

She took a breath and awakened her usual senses. Then, she quietly observed Sakuhi's approaching movements!! A bullet from the thought wave hit Sakuhi's right shoulder beautifully.

"Kh…!!"

For a moment, Sakuhi looked at her with anger. But she immediately turned it into a smile, pushing Rei back and opening her mouth.

"Hey, Haku, what kind of dreams did you have at night when you were in elementary school?"

D-Dreams!?

—What was she saying all of a sudden?

"Don't fall for it, Haku! Don't listen to Sakuhi!"

Rei, who stepped on the ladder, slashed Sakuhi again. Sakuhi accepted it, ignored it, and fought him off. Haku, who was watching for an opportunity, suddenly thought in a corner of her mind.

In other words, it was a dream I had before I saw Rei and Sakuhi's fight. There were many such things back then, for example.

For example— Huh?

"Hey, Haku. What are your parents like? How old are they? What's their personality like? What's their appearance like?"

While accepting Rei's fierce attack, Sakuhi asked again, looking happy.

My parents? I rarely see them since they're abroad, so…

—Huh? What were my mom and dad like? 

She guessed she couldn't remember because she didn't want to.

"Stop it! Don't listen, Haku! Don't listen to Sakuhi!"

"You need to remain silent."

When she kicked Rei in the chest and kept her distance, Sakuhi asked her three times.

"Hey, Haku. Maybe you don't remember? Before you entered middle school and your parents."

"That's not true!!"

Haku exclaimed, but it sounded so empty that she could tell.

I went to elementary school, and I remember my mom and dad!

She struggled to remember, but the more she looked up, the less calm Haku felt.

"L-i-a-r."

Sakuhi smiled.

Why can't I remember anything? Did I forget? By any chance... Did I "forget" something I "forgot"? Why!?

Rei still couldn't move because his ribs seemed to be broken. Sakuhi saw it and asked a fourth question.

"And don't you think it's strange? You were able to avoid my attack on your first attempt. Even though you never had any training before. Why?"

That's...

"The two flowers where one was replanted around that time~"

Suddenly, Sakuhi began to speak as if she were singing.

"You don't know your birthplace. You think the inside of the replanted pot is your real place. You don't know that you're someone else's replacement."

—Replacement?

"No... I..."

Haku's voice was beginning to tremble.

"Whose... replacement am I?"

"No, Haku!"

Rei moaned, but Haku had no choice but to raise her voice to Sakuhi.

"Whose replacement am I!?"

"Ahahahaha!"

Sakuhi laughed out loud.

"That's obvious, isn't it? Didn't you notice? You're me. You're Rei."

"Eh...?"

"And you're a replacement for Rei."

—What? The shock of being hit hard on the head hit Haku.

"I didn't think it was possible, but you really don't remember, do you?"

Looking at the pitiful Haku, Sakuhi walked up to her quietly.

"Kh...!"

As she walked closer with the sword in her hand, Haku hurriedly held up her gun and shot her. However, no bullets came out.

"Sorry to disappoint, but someone who's upset can't shoot a wave of thought on someone. That's just how it is."

Sakuhi's thin, long, snow-shaped fingers were stretched out on Haku's forehead.

"I'll remind you, Tokido Haku. Because I feel sorry for you. "A child who fails to do anything"."

Tap. 

A soft finger touched her forehead gently. At that moment, countless scenes passed through her mind.

—The Altar. The marble. The coldness of death. The knife. The shock. The pain.

"What do you think, KIKI-sama? Did you succeed in separating?"

"To the best of my ability. Look at these three. Rei, and, oh, this child has inherited the Cup properly. This child is worthy of becoming a beautiful queen in the next generation. Let's name her Sakuhi."

"Oh? This girl is no good. Look, she hasn't inherited the Cup. The wound hasn't healed yet. She has minimal fighting talent, but her memory is wild and she can't handle magic. She's just a human being."

"What shall I do? Do you want me to kill her?"

"No, there's a better way. Let's send her back instead of Rei. It's hard for us to erase the memories of Tokido Rei from all the people in the 〔Surface〕. But if we put her in the gap, we can tamper with their memory."

"Then what shall we do with her name? Are you sending her in as Tokido Rei?"

"No, Rei's wonderful name is not appropriate for a child who fails to do anything. This child is, so to speak, a blank sheet of paper that has failed to print."

"—Let's name her Haku."

"A... Aah..."

Recalling everything, Haku fell to her knees on the ground. She fell down vigorously, and bit her lips as tears welled up, and the gun fell from her open hand.

Whose replacement am I? I am—

"I... am Rei's replacement..."

"Aaaaah!!"

Rei rushed himself up and slashed Sakuhi again. Sakuhi accepted it with great pleasure.

"Ahaha, Haku, do you remember now? You were deceived by Rei. Rei hated you for living in the 〔Surface〕 instead of him, so he brought you here to gloat when he saw you who knew nothing. I suppose that's why."

"That's not true!!"

Rei shook his head violently and shouted to the fallen Haku.

"Listen, Haku! It's true you're one of my personalities. But I didn't ask you to help me because of that!"

Rei spoke as he tied his sword with Sakuhi toward the immovable Haku.

"Mine and Sakuhi's "Cups" are incomplete. Everyone should be able to control their own power. We can't do that. That's because you took the power to control during the separation. And that's why you were able to break the "Cup"!"

"My, is that so? I didn't know that."

While aiming at Rei's neck accurately, Sakuhi nodded.

"During the battle, I realized that you were the only one who could stop me at any time. That's why I chose you. You're the only one who can end my fight!! —Ggh!"

Sakuhi's blade rubbed his shoulder, and Rei twisted his face with pain, but the wound healed instantly.

"Stand up, Haku! Help me!!"

Even if you say that...

Haku couldn't move.

I... I thought I was just a high school student. I thought I was just a normal girl.

But she wasn't. The world of memories that she believed in was distorted by malice and painted with vanity. She forgot the altar, she forgot that she had been tampered with, and she was just made to think she was normal.

I'm just a replacement for Rei — I wasn't supposed to exist in the first place.

Such self-deprecating words had become a heavy stone, and she couldn't move a muscle.

"Haku..."

"Ahahahaha! Rei, it seems that your precious girl is no longer able to move."

While smiling happily, Sakuhi's blade stuck into Rei's abdomen.

"Ugh—!!"

Without speaking out, Rei slowly fell back. Haku stood up in surprise, and could only see the sight in front of her. 

—It was the same as her nightmares.

"Rei will surely get up. I know that very well."

Sakuhi erased her smile, shook her sword, brushed off the blood, and muttered.

"But I can't forgive Rei. So I'll kill him as many times as I want, until the end of my precious KIKI-sama's Dominant revolution. That's just how it is."

Her cruel eyes sparkled towards Haku.

"I'll kill you this time."

"Ah...!!"

She couldn't move. When Sakuhi walked up slowly, Haku's desire to live and her despair fought fiercely in her heart, and she didn't move her body.

If I die here, will I... feel better, I wonder...?

Tears trickled down her cheeks again.

"Ha... ku..."

Then — Rei's moan came to her ears.

"Haku... Your friends... Think of your precious friends that are important to you...!"

Haku looked in front of her. There were countless messages on the out-of-range smartphone's screen that rolled out of her pocket.

"Haku! Where are you!? Just give me an answer!!"

"Haku-san, please reply!"

Everyone had called Haku.

"Your friends... are only your friends. They're not mine!"

Rei's words pierced her heart.

"You're not my replacement. You're you. Your life is yours alone!"

That's why Rei smiled. Because he envied that Haku had friends. When she realized that, the light in Haku's eyes gradually returned to her.

"...Rei."

Haku put strength into her legs, stood up, and—

"All right, Rei!!"

She cried out in a voice full of wonderful courage. And Sakuhi, who was on her way, wasn't fast enough to react.

"—I'm sorry."

Bang.

A white bullet shot through Sakuhi's left chest.

※

"It was a long battle, Sakuhi."

Rei crouched down near Sakuhi, who fell down and was breathing heavily, and spoke. Haku stared at them from behind as he stroked her cheek.

"No."

Sakuhi spoke with a trembling body.

"No, I don't like this. I don't want this to be the end...!"

"This isn't the end. It's just the beginning. Truly."

As soon as Rei said it, he stopped stroking Sakuhi's cheek.

"I should have done this earlier, but you didn't let me do this until now— I'm sorry, Sakuhi. Please, rest peacefully."

"Wait...!!"

Sakuhi screamed as much as she could, but Rei put his hand on her forehead in silence. At that moment— Sakuhi's body became a pale light and disappeared into Rei's body.

"Are you alone again?"

"Yes, that's right. Sakuhi is asleep. Inside me."

After saying so, Rei slowly stood up and walked to Haku.

"Haku... Are you mad?"

"I'm not mad. If it weren't for you, I would have died — No... I wouldn't have even been born without you in the first place."

"That's not true."

Rei shook his head slowly.

"You have important people. As long as they're there, you're living, and you will continue to live."

He suddenly looked up at the tip of the spire and went on.

"If you break that crystal, the black rain in your city will stop completely. What do you want to do after that?"

"What do I want to do?"

Haku laughed softly.

"For now, I want to go back to the 〔Surface〕 and get in touch with everyone. To let them know I'm safe."

"And after that?"

When asked, Haku held the gun that was entrusted to her by Rei.

"There may not be much I can do. But I have the power to fight. So I want to go and stop the black rain in the world. ...I want to fight against Dominant."

"I see."

Rei smiled, but with gentle eyes.

"As I thought, you're much stronger than I am. Thank you for trusting me this far. I suppose I should be going soon."

"Eh? Where are you going?"

She asked, but without answering, he put his finger on Haku's forehead.

"To the place where I should be."

"What...?"

In the next moment, a lot of memories flowed into Haku. Not only grief, anger, and sorrow, but also joy. 

And when her heart was filled with warm things — Haku had fainted.

※

After a while, she got up quietly and slowly — looking all over her body. Her hands felt a little stronger, much like Rei's. Her hair was long enough to flow down to her waist,  much like Sakuhi's. And her clothes, which were supposed to be in a black robe, had changed into a white, loose dress. She looked like an angel.

"I am..."

She picked up the rolling knife and the gray gun and muttered.

"I am Tokido Haku. I'm Haku and nobody else. —Thank you, Rei."

When she said that, she wiped away the tears that had flowed unknowingly.

"Now's not the time to cry. I have to go!"

Haku rose into the air, now knowing what she had to do was simple. She stood still before the purple crystal at the tip of the cross.

"We don't need any more of this rain!

She raised the knife as hard as she could and shook it down. When the crystal broke to pieces, the black rain quickly evaporated. Looking back, the clouds were disappearing and the light had returned to the 〔Reverse World〕.

"The peace of the world... has broken, but now it's the next act."

With her gray hair waving in the wind, Haku clasped her knife and gun in her hands.

—There was a rainbow in the sky over there.

[accirax]

well, this looks up my particular alley of clownery. too much analysis under the cut~

alright, so, the simple answer (in my opinion) is Haruka. he's weak, he's isolated, and his less than stellar mental state means that he probably wouldn't have the drive to turn the tables on his would-be attacker.

but, that's the problem, right? whether you think it's Haruka because he's unstable or Amane because she's a child or Kotoko because she'd make herself too big of a target, there's always the possibility that the person who should be the victim would actually be the blackened instead. unless turning the tables against their attacker would be basically impossible. who is their attacker, again?

i know you were probably trying to ask this question in a vacuum, but try as you may, the first victim is impossible to divorce from the first killer. because, you only become a victim if either you're trying to kill somebody or somebody is trying to kill you, y'know? so, i think the most prudent thing to do in this situation is to figure out who each prisoner would try to kill, see how it turns out, and then run some percentages. got it? let's go.

we know from Haruka's case that, when he kills, it's mainly been for attention. unfortunately, that doesn't give us any great leads on potential targets. Haruka has killed lots of bugs and small animals, which makes me tend to think that he would be looking for anyone who he thinks could be potentially weaker than him. maybe it's just the prevailing theory that his victim was likely a young girl, but i think Haruka might target Amane. even a child like himself should be able to take out another child, right...?

well, i definitely think there's a chance that he could, so i'm not going to say that Haruka successfully killing Amane is impossible. however, i do think that him becoming the first killer would be pretty unlikely, given that i can't think of any particuarly strong motivations for him. (i'm not counting motives that the mascot could hand out because that would be taking this thought exercise a little too far, even for me.) getting back to his mom, i guess...?

while Yuno's victim is most likely her own child, her choice of profession still shows off her killer instinct when it comes to social skills and manipulation. therefore, if Yuno were to be the first killer, i think she would choose a victim who she could easily manipulate into a winning situation, such as going somewhere at night with no witnesses. i think Mahiru is a likely candidate for this role.

i fully believe that Yuno could overpower Mahiru, though it could go the other way as well. i do not fully believe that Yuno would be the first killer. if Haruka had no reason, Yuno has, like, negative reason. she literally doesn't care. i'm not saying she'd enjoy the killing game, but i doubt she'd dislike it enough to put in the effort to get out.

Fuuta is a gamer, which makes me think he'd be thinking ahead to how the class trial would pan out (assuming he knows enough detail beforehand). in that case, i'm sure he'd love to take out Kotoko as probably the biggest intelligence threat, but i don't know if Fuuta would have the confidence to believe he'd win that fight. i also think he'd lean away from targeting any of the younger girls due to his guilt over killing that middle school girl. where does that leave us? Mahiru? Shidou, maybe? he's an intelligent doctor, and while he's a little physically intimidating, his willingness to die would leave him vulnerable (and maybe a little more guilt-free).

Fuuta would probably win the fight if Shidou didn't care, but if fight of flight kicked in, maybe Shidou would wind up defending himself. i definitely could see Fuuta's paranoia and rash behavior leading to him killing first. the question is just whether he'd be up for killing someone again after how he felt last time.

Muu is... tricky. she killed Rei on accident because the two of them were fighting. do i have to figure out how to recreate that situation? nah, danganronpa is different. if Muu were trying to be the blackened, i feel like her murder method of choice would be, like, manipulating somebody clueless into a trap, to get less evidence-creating blood onto her hands. if that were the case, then i could see her targeting Haruka, Mahiru, or Mikoto as a dolt contingent. i picked Mikoto specficially because i think that Haruka or Mahiru would have a greater chance of flipping out and doing something weird... or at least, that's what Muu would expect.

if Muu's trap is set up in a way where Mikoto is killed instantly, she could definitely gain the upper hand. however, in the wrong situation, she could also wind up accidentally setting John off on herself, which is a fight she'd definitely lose. i can't really make exact predictions without figuring out what Muu's murder plan would be, though. i don't really think she'd be the first killer, although doing it when she still has the reputation of being an innocent shy girl would probably be a good course of action if she did want to kill someday.

Shidou is a subtle, patient killer (i think) who definitely strikes me as the type to use poison as opposed to something more direct, like a gun or a knife. if that is the case, then all he needs is to find someone who consistently eats or drinks something that he could slip the poison into. i see no better candidate than Kazui for that role. Kazui has the additional benefits of being someone that people probably wouldn't expect for Shidou to kill, as well as potentially sending the other participants off down a rabbit hole of "who's strong enough to take out Kazui?"

if it is a poison kill, then i don't think Kazui really stands a chance. the best he could probably do is take Shidou down with him by killing Shidou before he dies. however, if we're basing Shidou's character off of his trial 1 self, then Shidou is coming in here with a death wish. what reason does he have to kill if he has no one to go home to outside?

As Mahiru's victim appears to be her so-called boyfriend, we can be fairly certain that her murder was, in one way or another, an accident. if Mahiru were killing on purpose, who would she go for? it would probably be whoever is convenient, AKA weak and/or alone. for the reasons i detailed at the top, Haruka seems like a likely candidate for his. he doesn't even seem like he cares that much about love.......

Mahiru could probably kill Haruka, although both of them are pretty weak. if Mahiru's boyfriend were still alive, then i could definitely see her becoming the first killer. however, i'm operating under the assumption that all of the prisoners are coming into the killing game having already committed their Milgram murder, meaning that bf is six feet under. if that's the case, i don't know if she would want to get back out to like... find love somewhere else, or something...? why was Mahiru so chipper in Trial 1 if her boyfriend just died, anyways?

Kazui obviously has the physical advantage over pretty much anyone, but he doesn't necessarily want to flex that so obviously. Kazui's Milgram murder circumstances are so specific that they're essentially impossible to replicate within the killing game with this cast. if he were going to kill someone... i feel like he would want to make it as quick and painless as possible? he could go for Shidou in that case, if Shidou were straight up asking for it.

if you couldn't tell, i'm struggling with Kazui because i really don't understand what his motive for murder would even be. it currently seems like him killing his wife was a mistake. he's protected Fuuta already, and gone on the record claiming to want to protect even more. like... he'd definitely kill Shidou under the circumstances that Shidou agreed to it, but, does that even mean anything if Kazui just wouldn't do it???

i mean. Amane would kill Shidou. you know. it's the doctor thing.

whether or not Amane can kill Shidou is a subject that's up for major debate, and for good reason. i'm of the belief that it's possible, although Shidou obviously has the chance to turn the tables as well. i could see Amane attempting to become the first killer if she believed that her and her religious agenda(?) needed to get back out into the "real world." i hope i'm not messing up her character by saying that.

Mikoto kills as a stress response, with two options of how it could go down. if Mikoto decided to kill on his own, he'd probably just go after the easiest target (Haruka). however, i have a hard time believing that John would let things get to that point. if Mikoto were truly so frazzled that he started to consider murder, something would have to cause it. my bet would be that Kotoko was getting on his case. John wants Kotoko dead, right?

canon would lead us to believe that John can beat Kotoko, though they're pretty evenly matched. if Mikoto already came into the killing game after being stressed enough to kill someone before, i don't think it'd be super hard to get him to do it again. he could definitely be the first killer. although, the serial killer split personality is usually saved for chapter 2 or 3! ha ha. ha... ha. (/neg at canon dr)

Kotoko is out to punish the wicked, meaning the person she could most quickly and certainly determine the crime of upon entering the killing game. notably, everyone is still involved with a murder, but Kotoko doesn't necessarily know that upfront. unless they're just going around and saying it... like Shidou might be.

Kotoko could absolutely kick Shidou's ass; i don't think he'd stand any chance of beating her. Kotoko is also quite likely to be the first killer, as she doesn't hesitate to eliminate evil whenever she sees it. a danganronpa murder even has the added benefit of taking out all of those other monsters when she wins. go "justice"!

okay, math time. the basic entry will have three names representing the potential case. the names included show who i think would be most likely to win a confrontation, should it occur. so, A - A - A would mean that i think character A would always die, A - A - B would mean i think character A is likely to die, A - B - B means i think character B is likely to die (default answer; i give the killer advantage for being prepared), and B - B - B means i think character B would always die. if i think someone is more likely to become the first killer, they'll have five entries instead of three with similar rules.

here's what i got:

Haruka - Amane - Amane

Yuno - Mahiru - Mahiru

Fuuta - Fuuta - Shidou - Shidou - Shidou

Muu - Muu - Mikoto

Kazui - Kazui - Kazui

Mahiru - Haruka - Haruka

Shidou - Shidou - Shidou

Amane - Amane - Shidou - Shidou - Shidou

Mikoto - Mikoto - Kotoko - Kotoko - Kotoko

Shidou - Shidou - Shidou - Shidou - Shidou

Results:

Yuno: 2.6%

Fuuta, Muu: 5.3%

Haruka, Mahiru, Kazui, Mikoto, Kotoko: 7.9%

Amane: 10.5%

Shidou: 36.8%

And that is why, mathematically, i actually think that Shidou would be the most likely first victim. kinda inevitable when you come into the game literally asking to be killed. and you're also a doctor who could provide critical autopsy evidence. yeah, that dude doesn't stand a chance.

Here's the context for what I'm about to ask So in a Danganronpa setting, between the ten Milgram prisoners

[hotshotsxyz]

5x11 meta - buck, eddie, and the bar scene

i just keep coming back to that moment in the bar when eddie notices buck, but buck doesn’t notice eddie, because for the life of me, i can’t think of a single other time that’s happened

we see eddie from buck’s point of view constantly, because buck always notices him. literally, eddie’s very first scene is a shot of buck noticing him, and it never stops

it happens again during the tsunami

and, most recently, in wrapped in red, just before eddie tells them he’s leaving the 118

this happens several other times in the show, but notably does not happen again before the bar scene. interestingly the only episodes i can think of that don’t quite fit this pattern are eddie begins and buck begins, but in both of those, the audience becomes aware of eddie’s presence at the exact same time as buck does

there are plenty of moments where eddie looks at buck and buck isn’t looking back, and vice versa, but buck always knows when eddie is there

so this moment, when eddie sees buck but buck doesn’t see him feels extremely significant to me

i specifically want to draw attention to the fact that, not only does buck not notice eddie in his vicinity, he also has his eyes closed for the entirety of the time the camera is focused on his face

buck has always seen eddie, literally and metaphorically, but this time he can’t

so what does this mean? maybe nothing, but i think this scene was more than just a way to show how isolated eddie feels right now. i think it’s also the apex of the distance between him and buck, and the absolute rock bottom of their relationship, and i’ll explain why

[the rest under the cut because this got long]

earlier in the episode, buck tries to get to eddie to talk to him, but eddie refuses and tells buck to move on. in the very next scene, buck asks bobby if he knew eddie wasn’t coming back which bobby confirms. when hen tries to reassure him that he will be back, buck responds with this:

"I don’t know. I had dinner with Eddie last night, and he seemed […] different."

at this point, buck appears to have given up on the idea that eddie is coming back, and maybe even on eddie himself. from here until the last scene of the episode, buck won’t talk to or about eddie again. notably, we don’t even see buck’s reaction to eddie on the comms during the truck rescue

so then we get to the bar scene, AKA: grocery store fight 2.0

i swear I'm going to explain

why is it grocery store 2.0? it isn’t a big blowout fight, but like the grocery store scene, it’s a complete breakdown of communication between buck and eddie that will lead to significant consequences for both of them (buck’s kiss with lucy, and eddie’s blow up at bobby)

let’s compare and contrast:

buck shows up at the grocery store, intending to apologize and re-establish communication with the 118

eddie shows up at the bar, presumably intending to spend time with the 118. now, it’s entirely possible that eddie has seen the 118 since the christmas party, but as far as the audience is concerned, this is the first time, and therefore also eddie’s attempt to reestablish communication with the 118 (and, given his earlier conversation with josh, and what we know he’ll ask for later, it’s not unlikely that he also intended to take back what he said to buck about moving on)

next, in the grocery store scene, eddie, who has always been level headed with buck, yells. buck quickly becomes defensive and the fight escalates, but it’s clear neither of them is hearing what the other is saying. the conversation is cut off by the cars in the parking lot before there can be any resolution

in the bar scene, buck, who we’ve established has always seen eddie, has his eyes closed. eddie, initially hopeful, notices buck and the others having a seemingly great time without him and quickly becomes dejected and leaves, ending the "conversation" before there can be any resolution

on the surface, this seems pretty different, but underneath, it’s exactly the same

to explain that, though, we need to talk about the last time eddie’s mentioned in the episode: when ravi mentions that eddie was at the bar, and buck says

"I texted him. I just… thought he was a no-show."

to which ravi replies that he saw eddie in the parking lot, and eddie blew him off. buck says that’s "weird" and wonders aloud what’s going on

this exchange is vital because it changes the bar scene from a one sided breakdown of communication to a two-sided one.

presumably, when eddie sees buck laughing in the bar, he comes to the conclusion that buck has indeed moved on, and is fine without him, which is a conclusion the audience might come to at this point as well, because of the conversation he had with bobby and hen earlier. eddie takes this as a rejection and leaves. the audience, however, doesn’t, and it quickly becomes apparent that everything buck’s displaying on the surface is just that – a facade, concealing how wrong everything is underneath. it’s not until the scene with ravi at the end, though, that the misunderstanding is confirmed, because despite having "moved on" (not really) buck is the one that invited eddie to the bar, and buck, just like he did at the beginning of the episode, still wants to know "what’s going on [with eddie]"

we get less, overall, of buck’s side of this silent conversation, but i think there are a few things we can infer. first, buck more than likely texted eddie after the call with the truck bomb. second, eddie almost certainly never responded. had eddie said he was coming, then not shown up without a word, buck would have worried, and at the very least, mentioned his concerns to someone. on the other hand, had eddie said he wasn’t coming, buck wouldn’t have had to make an assumption about eddie being a no show; he would have known.

on buck’s side of things, then, this is a reinforcement of what eddie said earlier, that he’s moved on, and buck should too. we know this to be incorrect, because just a few scenes later, eddie will indicate to christopher unambiguously that he hasn’t moved on, and doesn’t want to

returning to our grocery scene comparison, what we end up with is:

in the grocery store scene, eddie says [i miss you and im hurting without you] but buck hears [you left and now you can’t come back]

in the bar scene, buck says [i want you to be here, but you told me to move on so i won’t push too hard] and eddie hears [i moved on, just like you said. i’m fine without you]

in the grocery store scene, buck says [i miss you and i need to you to understand that i only wanted to come home] and eddie hears [my job is more important to me than my relationship with you]

in the bar scene eddie says [i want to be here with you, but i don’t belong here anymore and you’re fine without me] and buck hears [i’ve moved on, just like i said. i’m fine without you]

not so different after all, huh?

so this leaves us at the end of the episode, with buck and eddie farther apart than they’ve ever been, and, most likely, the farthest apart they’ll ever be again

why?

[spoilers for 5x13 ahead]

because the next time buck and eddie have a real conversation after the grocery store fight, they come back together stronger than ever. and based on interviews and promos,  the next time buck and eddie have a real conversation after the bar scene is going to be when eddie breaks down and buck is in the room

they’ve been stretching buck and eddie like a rubber band all season, and the bar scene in 5x11 is the farthest apart they can go without breaking apart completely or snapping back together

eddie was always soft with buck, but after he uncharacteristically yells in the grocery store scene, he becomes infinitely softer, starting with ‘i forgive you’ and culminating in, you know, all of season four

buck has always seen eddie, so it stands to reason that now, after uncharacteristically closing his eyes (moving on), he’ll be able to see eddie more than ever, which is to say, he’ll see everything eddie’s been trying to hide. it’ll be explosive and emotional, and might even result in an actual fight, but everything that happens from here on out will be part of what brings them back together, not what pushed them apart

this, finally, is the resolution not only of the miscommunication from the bar scene, but also of the conversation on the balcony in which eddie says

"Or you don’t know her the way he does. When you think of your sister, you see this person you’ve always looked up to. The woman who’s taken care of you. But maybe that’s not who she is right now. This time, maybe she’s the one who needs taking care of."

and funny thing about the balcony scene?

buck couldn’t see eddie properly then, either

[terrence-silver]

Did Terry volunteer for the war or was he drafted?

Oh man, I've no clue.

I always preferred the old fanon idea that his parents died in a car accident and left him destitute, knee-deep in gambling debt that ate away at Terry's inheritance as a teenager and that he literally and ironically enough volunteered for the army to survive and have somewhere to go (damned if you do, damned if you don't type of situation), but now that the show jumbled everything by not only telling us Terry's parents (or at least his father) was very much alive during the time, that he was possibly obscenely rich, in charge of a company and could've easily gotten his only son and heir out of a war that could've had him killed or MIA, sparing him from the danger of it all as people of wealth often did, I literally have to wonder.

I'll justify this by imagining that Terry's dad was an old fashioned traditionalist and probably something of a patriot and to extend upon that, I think that he was tragically enough, very much ashamed that Terry, due to the reasons that later had him dubbed Twig, didn't fit the classic bill of masculinity early in his life. Terry was scrawny, skinny, gentle and shy. Possibly, if we take into account the queer subtext of Terry's entire character, maybe his father wanted to, literally speaking, 'set him straight' by sending him off to war as a rite of passage because he already had prior suspicions about his son's leanings and gave him an ultimatum; either come back a real man, or die. Because, to his father, a dead son was better than a wrong son. A son with a fault or a 'defect', as he saw it. A strange son. A strange son was social suicide for a family with a big reputation to maintain. At least a dead son can be written off as a war hero --- that sounds lofty as an idea and as a concept, rather than a living, breathing person. A dead soldier son. It is like an accessory one can pin to their list of achievements. There's gravitas and weight to that. Much better then having a gay son. Or a bi son. Or any other son that isn't acceptable in the 60's.

As a result, I think Terry was coerced, pressured and pushed into volunteering as a way to prove himself to a dyed-in-the-bone, relentless, despotic family patriarch with a multigenerational old money wealth behind himself and possibly risk being cut off from the Silver inheritance and disowned. Maybe even thrown out and made homeless as a mere teenager with no resources to support himself. We don't know for sure, but I'm speculating. It is just another type of 'no win' situation where Terry's options were extremely limited right down to very easily risk getting killed in Vietnam, being captured, tortured and being exposed to unspeakable horrors and trauma intended to 'make a man out of him' --- or refuse and simply be cut off from his entire family and ushered off to war regardless, once his impossibly rich and powerful father pulls some connections to have him ratted out and drafted anyway, purely out of some personal pettiness and spite. Maybe going to war seemed like the lesser of two evils at the time, because in the off chance that he survived, Terry at least clung unto the hope he'd have a place to come back to. But, then again, this headcanon makes his father seem stupendously evil, giving his own son the bleak options between experiencing all-out war as a way to become tougher, getting isolated from his own family unit, blackmail, jailtime for draft dodging, homelessness and the elaborate version of what his father no doubt saw as conversion therapy.

It is Terry Silver's father, though --- so what do I know?

Guy really might've been that hideous.

He was probably at least a couple of shades worse than Terry himself.

[caracarnn]

"To be fair, I'm not entirely sure whether or not I know exactly how I did that." He answered with a bit of deflation. He could see something heavy resting on Mat and maybe it could be identified as being dragged down. Had his leaving really weighed so heavily on him? He had assumed that everyone would have lived a far better life without him in it and yet what he had walked into tonight was something that shouldn't have happened. Not when he had cut the ties of the Shadow. Of course that didn't mean that darkness had disappeared but it should have meant that maybe his friends, those he had saved, could have been safe.

For a moment he watches Mat as he eats. The appetite was there. That came with the territory of being healed, he knew that. However he also knew that it was just a trait of his. Rand could remember long afternoons when all Mat wanted to do was eat, plate after plate of sweet treats that Mistress al'Vere baked for the two of them. He never really had a sated appetite and it was always something of a joke between the three of them; Rand, Mat and Perrin. But those memories were faded, belonging to another Age. Quite literally.

Lifting his arms he rests his elbows onto the table, clasping his hands together. "It just happened one day…the day." Light, that felt like forever ago. An entire lifetime. "I woke up and was riding away when I realized I could do something far easier than wielding Saidin. I was probably far more shocked than even you are now." He stated, still unsure whether or not he could shake off the surprise every single time that he had done it. It had been awhile since that day but the effects still startled him.

He didn't wait for Mat to answer and, instead, let out a shaky breath. There seemed to be a pointed look of - light, was it anger that rang in his eyes? Rand felt that like a punch straight to his stomach. It was even hard to swallow. He had a feeling that those he cared about would hold it against him for leaving the that he had. Did any of his unnerved worries from before have any place in explaining any of this to Mat? He didn't think. He knew that Mat would hold a grudge, if only going by the way that he had clung to it when they had been in search of that bloody dagger from Padan Fain.

"I had my reasons. I have it on authority that all of this that worked under The Dark One weren't dead, that they weren't all weeded out during The Last Battle." He stated. Maybe if he went the way of possible danger to anyone in his life then Rand could convince Mat to not be upset with him. It had been awhile and there was a knot of guilt inside of him. One that he wasn't sure whether this was enough to untie it. "If I showed myself and let everyone know that I was still alive…Mat, what do you think might have happened?"

A long moment of waiting passed between them and Rand eventually reached forward to pluck a piece of fallen bread from the plate before him. He studied the piece there between his fingers before putting it into his mouth, chewing it and then swallowing it down. "But I'm here now and just in time, too, right?" He offered with a feigned tone of amusement. "If I had been a second later then maybe you might have died?"

Was that enough? Rand hoped so. Because there was a feeling relief running through him that told him that he was glad to be with someone from his past again. All of this traveling made Rand feel lonely, as isolated as he was. But none of that would take away that cold shoulder that Mat was currently giving him. "Can you see it from my point of view? I didn't want anyone coming after…my friends. Those I care about." His voice had softened and he lowered his hands to the table. "I tried to stay away as long as I could but that Bond…it was tugging pretty hard." He took a breath then. "I'm sorry, Mat. Really."

think something and it happened? light, to hear rand tell it like that made it sound as if he was the creator himself. but he had done it. he had seen him do it. and he hadn't felt the shiver from the cold of his medallion. one minute they had been somewhere and the next they were here. it was hard not to believe when it was staring at you right in the face, wasn't it? rand could think things into existence. with a snap of his fingers he could do just about anything. that's what it looked like, with how they had gotten here, everything rand hand. it was unnerving to think of. one man with that much power. although a part of him is almost glad it's rand. rand, the closest thing to the creator. rand, the dragon. rand, very much alive and not telling anyone. but now he's apologizing. actually apologizing. asking if it was enough. burn him, burn it all. this was bloody madness and he knew that rand knew it. after all if anyone knew what madness was rand would have to.

he shifts uncomfortably under the apology. unsure of how to respond to it. because what does he say? he had died, really died right there for the whole bloody world to see. they had lit the pyre, he had - well, he had said his goodbyes. made some kind of peace with it. there were still - well, he did the best that he thinks he could've. and yet rand had still been playing at being dead. that the problem. he had betrayed him in some sort of way, hadn't he? he had kept this lie up. and if today hadn't happened he wouldn't have ever known that he wasn't dead. but that hadn't mattered. no, not to the light blasted idiot.

well, it hadn't mattered to him either. he was doing just fine without him. and he hadn't needed him to rush in and save him earlier. he would've made it. maybe at a slower pace but he had survived worse things than that. like this bloody bond! he had survived that so far. and it's a mess right now. an uncertain mess. why couldn't the man get his head together? it was enough to drive him right out of his. and if he thought that some lackluster apology was enough to make up for it he was mistaken.

a soft smile from the pretty serving girl could soothe a lot of things. he looks at her with a small smile of his own. and the food has been good. he's managed to eat more than rand. but he had expected that from the healing. he knew that it left you feeling hungry and somewhat out of it, not yourself. he had felt that before. the seemingly endless hunger until you felt your body was bouncing back. so, he took advantage, one drink after another. putting things on his plate that he had never tried before. he hated the feeling. rand had said that he would've died if he hadn't bonded him.

rand had also apologized. and mat couldn't help but scoff at the thought of that, shaking his head. as much as he hated it he could feel through the bond that rand felt - well, at the very least rand felt sure of what he had said. the delivery of his apology was full of a sincerity that made him uncomfortable. light, but he did hate when he got too bloody serious. what did he want him to say to that anyways? that he forgave him? that was flaming ridiculous!

putting another piece of food in his month he turns his face away. watching the other people around them. how long had rand been living here? did anyone know who he was? did anyone else know he was alive? who else had been leaving him in the dark this long? he pops another piece of food in his mouth, shaking his head. but he doesn't look at him. at the cup in his hands. and he's glad that it's something strong. this is bound to be a long night.

"you're like the bloody creator now doubt you need my okay." he says with an amused breath. he takes a drink. weighing his next words. that kind of power was unnerving, wasn't it? to destroy or save us all. the thought hung in the balance. but there was a certainty to that thought, was it not? he had saved them. suddenly his throat is dry and he has to tug at the scarf around his neck. it's almost suffocating. he shifts in his seat before he finishes off his drink. "you're right though. i was better off without you." a slight smile then as he leans forward. "but since you're here might as well might use of you."

[animeyanderelover]

Hi first of all I'm sorry for not thanking you enough for the last two shots you wrote for me the child s/o and main four was unique and adorable and the Leorio one was absolute gold I've been having a rough time my laptop broke and my instructor is mad b/c of falling behind so I didn't have the energy to talk . Anyway if it's ok I'd love a Kurapika shot with a snarky stubborn s/o who makes trouble after capture thought it go well with prompt 81 the hard dark stuff helps me process my grief

Hard and dark, huh? I will always prefer soft and desperate. But who am I to decline my darling’s wishes?

Warnings: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, aggressive and vicious behavior, threatening, violence, self-harming behavior

Prompt 81: “The more you struggle now, the heavier your punishment will be later on.”

Kurapika didn’t know if you were either just stupid or incredibly stubborn, feeling his already strained string of patience run thin more and more with each passing day. He knew that you could be very thick-headed, but currently you were balancing on a very thin and dangerous line. And you had to know that too, didn’t you? From the look in your eyes he guessed so, fear visible in your face, staring with a scared yet defiant look on your face at him, clearly not wanting to show him how afraid you really were. But who wouldn’t if someone with scarlet red eyes was towering right over you, looking like a demon staring right into your soul? You had to know that you had crossed his line, didn’t you? So why were you still so determined to get on his nerves? Why were you still fighting? You reminded him somewhat of a cornered animal, scared and anxious, but still struggling and fighting back. And to be honest, right now the term “predator and prey” seemed to fit almost too well, you quite literally being pressed into the corner of the bathroom with Kurapika looking like he was about to snap someone’s neck, jaw clenched tightly together that you almost feared one of his teeth would break any moment, the nails of his fingers digging tightly into his hand that you were sure at any moment he would cut his palm with it.

“So what? What are you going to do now?”, you sneered at him, glaring angrily up at him. “Why am I still going?”, you asked yourself silently. You knew that he was too close to losing it and you knew that there was the possibility of you getting hurt. So why? Why were you still continuing to push him over his limits? You hated this, hated that you could never shut your mouth for once. As soon as a thought entered your head, you had to say it out loud, no matter how much trouble it would bring you later on. Small habits were indeed very dangerous. But no matter how much you had tried to keep quiet, your stubbornness had always gotten the best from you, earning you not exactly the best friends or many friends to begin with. You had always been a trouble maker and the more you were stressed out, the more you always found yourself getting harsher and bolder with your words and actions. So this had been destined from the very moment Kurapika had kidnapped you, that you two would end up in such a situation. It would have been to pretty to be true to find someone who would be able to put up with this thorny character of yours, keeping you in check. You guessed Kurapika had either underestimated your savage side or overestimated his own limits. Or maybe it had been both, but that wasn’t the important thing now.

Since the very first moment you had been stuck in this house, you had only caused troubles, rebelling in hopes that he would let you go. You had thrown away everything he had gotten you, had attacked him several times, had thrown things after him and had also caused quite the damage in the house, often hurting yourself in the process, but you hadn’t cared, knowing that it would make Kurapika go crazy. No person would have been able to endure this for too long, not even the most patient person. And so you had witnessed Kurapika getting more forceful and mad with his actions and behavior more and more, his grip when you were about to throw something at him getting tighter and tighter, bringing him to the point where he left bruises on you. He had resorted to restraining you, tying you up and locking you in your room which had only lightened the fire in you even more. So for whatever he had hoped to reach with this, it had only brought him the opposite effect, causing you to get more beastly and sarcastic with each passing day. And you didn’t know how to stop, but in such moments you didn’t care, only caring about giving Kurapika a hard time. For what had you even hoped? That he would get so feed up with you that he would end up kicking you out? It was a rather stupid hope, even though you had to admit that this was what you had hoped for a bit. But you guessed the main reason was that you had wants to bring a point over. That you wouldn’t be carved into a submissive lover from him who would play the role of the housewife.

“(y/n). Stop. Now.” Low and dangerous, you knew that one wrong word now could der him off. His eyes were telling you everything you had to know. For a moment you became quiet, glancing around the mess you had made. All tubes filled with cream, shampoo and soap were scattered around randomly, some were open and completely destroyed, the liquid that had been once in them being smeared all over the place. A pool of water had formed itself in here, causing you to sit on the wet ground. You had freely broken the shower head, water still tickling down on it. If you looked closely, you could also see the shards glittering in it, the light illuminating the fragments of the now broken mirror. And around you a light shade of red had started to taint the transparent water, your knuckles still bleeding from punching the mirror. At least you weren’t the only one who had hurt themself in the process, on Kurapika’s face being a few scratches visible too. But this had been only luck though, Kurapika being too shocked when having first entered the room to realize you throwing pieces of the mirror at him. It wouldn’t be wise to anger him more. You knew that too well. You knew that you had to keep your mouth shut. You knew that you should just apologize or even say nothing if you wanted to get out unharmed from this situation. You knew it so well.

“Or what? What will you do? Tying me up again? Starving me? Locking me away? Do you seriously think that this will work?” So why were you still continuing with all of this? Was it really that hard to keep quiet for even a short moment? At least a few minutes? It wasn’t that hard to shut up. All you had to do was closing your mouth and not opening it again. But why seemed such a simple thing to do suddenly do hard to master? It was almost like an impossible thing to do for you. You could only pray that you would magically go mute, ridiculous to think about since this impossible. “What do you even hope to reach with this? Disciplining me? Pathetic.” Your tone sounded like you wanted to pick a fight, but in reality you just wanted to run away, wanted to hide somewhere and tape your mouth with something. Everything to make you shut up. “Do you really think that this will help you reaching your goal? Bending me according to your will? Do you think telling me that you just want to protect me will work? What do you think will happen to me if you keep me isolated in here? Do you hope to break my mind? To make me think that the world is really a dangerous place? Good grief, you really are messed up, aren’t you? Why don’t you just look around once in a while to get this sense thing into your head? The only dangerous thing for me here and in the entire world. Is. You.” The last two words were hissed by you, clear spitefulness dripping from your voice.

Kurapika didn’t say anything, making you question whether to worry or not. But then he slowly kneeled down, his movements terribly slowly, putting you on high alert. He didn’t say anything, just staring at you, giving you the feeling that he could melt your skin with this intense gaze of his, the red eyes awakening the impression that his eyes were burning. Keep quiet, keep quiet, keep quiet, keep quiet. “What? Did you swallow your tongue or something like this?” You gave him this kind of smile that basically screamed fake, sending him a short glare afterwards. But Kurapika didn’t react, at least not visibly, keeping a strange stoic expression on his face. This was concerning. Instead his gaze wandered to your knuckles, skin ripped open and exposing the sensitive wounds to his eyes. For a short moment you thought that he would make a fuss about it again, preparing to throw another line at him. But before a word could left your lips, you suddenly hissed painfully, Kurapika suddenly pressing your hands tightly in a not comforting manner, making you yelp when he yanked you up back on your two feet, fingers pressing exactly on the spots where your fresh cuts and wounds were. And with a dreadful feeling you realized that he did it on purpose, knowing that he hurt you, but not stopping. He wanted to hurt you right now. Why would he do that? And why were you surprised? You had been the one who had brought this upon yourself.

“What the heck?! You moron! You’re hurting me! Let go of me! Weren’t you the one who told me a few weeks ago that you would protect me from any danger?! I don’t know if you know this with the narrowed knowledge of social acts you have, but currently you’re doing exactly what you promised to protect me from! I guess now I need someone to kidnap me so they can protect me from you!” It was your fault! Why couldn’t you accept that? “Just shut up?! Do you want to die?!”, you screamed inside your head, wanting to punch yourself or slam your head against the wall. But the most terrifying part was that despite tightening his grip on your hands, Kurapika didn’t say anything, just dragging you silently out of the bathroom. Oh yes, that was it. His silence that clearly didn’t fit the aura surrounding him, a feeling thickly painted with frustration and anger. Like the silence before a heavy storm that would destroy anything in it’s way. That was the feeling you were getting from him, causing you to react panicked, kicking and pulling desperately, trying to free yourself from his by now iron-like grip, ignoring the warm blood trickling down from the freshly reopened wound. “Let go of me! Are you deaf?! Seriously, are you really gonna hurt me?! Wow, you’ve really sunken low, haven’t you? No wonder you’re such a loner. No one wants to be befriended with such a violent and cold-hearted demon like you.” What was with you? You had been a loner too.

“The more you struggle now, the heavier your punishment will be later on.” And all it took for Kurapika was one sentence, one sharp look to paralyze you. Gosh, you were such a loser, talking almighty, but in reality not even be able to hold your own mouth. You saw all the bottled up emotions on his face, all the anger and madness swirling inside of those glowing eyes. And somewhere down there you also saw something similar to regret. And you pitied yourself in that moment too, knowing that you had just caused someone to snap who had tried his hardest to show patience with you. And he had endured it for weeks, setting a new record. No one had ever been willing to put that long up with you. And you had just pushed all of his wrong buttons and you could read from the look in his eyes that what was about to come wouldn’t be pleasant in the least bit, the sudden darkness clouding his eyes telling you that a very violent lecture was awaiting you. You could have accepted it, begged for forgiveness, tried to apologize in hopes that he might go milder on you. But you did the complete opposite. Cutting your own tongue out suddenly looked very appealing.

“Congratulations for just reaching a new kind of low. I feel glad that your clan is already dead.” And suddenly Kurapika stopped, grip on your hand tightening to the extent that you were sure that only a bit more pressure would be needed to break it. Not only that, but all of a sudden the air seemed to change, you feeling like every moment it would crush you into tiny pieces. Stop it!! “If they would see you right now they would surely turn around in their grave!” STOP IT!!! “I guess you should feel glad as well that they’re all dead by now. They would have been so ashamed of you, surely not accepting you as a clan member anymore. I mean, who would after finding out that someone from their own flesh and blood would sink that low to kidnap someone? Where’s your honor?” He had started shaking by now, the air feeling like many invisible daggers, ready to plunge into your whole body at any moment. WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH YOU?! WERE YOU A SUICIDAL MANIAC?! SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH?! “And now you really tell me that you try to restore those clan of yours? Give up on your silly little dream. They’re dead and you’re the last one. You want revenge? You want to bring your clan back to life with my help? You wouldn’t have to do this if you would have just been there to protect them back then. Or if you would have just died with them. Then I wouldn’t have to endure all of this. You can pretend to be my “guardian” as much as you want, but in reality you just see me as an excuse to help your own guilt, right? You try to justify your behavior by telling yourself that you want to protect me when in reality you just don’t want to live with the guilt of your failure years ago. And I’m the perfect balm for your wound. That’s so lame, you know that right? You’re so-“

“ENOUGH!” His sudden scream made you jump back, followed by a sudden crashing sound. You remained frozen, staring shocked at him. Kurapika himself seemed shaken up, returning your gaze, eyes wide and staring with a wide variety of emotions inside of them. Tears started gathering in your eyes, slowly shifting your eyes to your hand. Blood was freely dropping down from it, the whole skin having bursted due to him suddenly crushing your hand like this. But that wasn’t the most gruesome thing. It was the way your hand had suddenly twisted, the numb pain somewhere in the back of your mind helping you realize very slowly what had happened. He...had broken your hand. And the moment you finally processed what had happened, the whole impact suddenly hit you. And for a moment everything turned black in front of your eyes, the sudden pain causing you to drop to your knees, and letting out a pained and shrill scream. Kurapika himself looked like he didn’t believe what had just happened, letting shocked go of your hand which you quickly pulled to your chest.

You sobbed harshly, the pain being too much to handle for you in that moment. It was to a certain extent your fault, you knew that. But that didn’t stop you to let your tongue get the better of him. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! You just broke my hand!! You’re a monster!! A demon!! Do me the favor and die somewhere alone and painfully!!” Kurapika had taken a few steps back, staring shocked at your hunched over form on the ground, regret an disbelief visible on his face as well as hurt when hearing your words. And just for a short moment you had the feeling that he wanted to apologize before it happened. The dark expression returned to his face, glazing his eyes and all of a sudden it was like his life spark had been turned off, his red eyes suddenly appearing more dull, causing him to look emotionless, cold to look down on you. “It’s your fault. I’ve warned you several times to stop. So don’t blame me for this. The only one you have to blame now is you.” Hot tears flowed down your face, your whole body feeling like it was on fire, not only because if the pain currently cursing through your entire system. You also burned up because of your feelings. You knew that he was right, self-shame and frustration as well as dread filling your entire mind, leading to even more tears spilling from your eyes. But what was your response?

“F-fuck you, you bastard. I hate you, Kurapika.”

[pateldevs]

Hi! I hope I'm not bothering you, but I love your mood board edits and was wondering if you could explain how you go about making/colouring them? I see lots of places to find gifs but turning them into a set is so hard. Thank you in advance!

hi! first of all thank you so much and second of all it’s not a bother at all! i am happy to give some of my own tips even if my explanation probably isn’t super helpful. i won’t give like a ps tutorial but below the cut (since i included example gifs, it’s VERY long) is my process for my latest jily aesthetic:

i keep track of all my ideas/sets in a spreadsheet (which i won’t show bc there’s a lot of info i’d have to blur/black out) but i always have a list of what scenes i need to gif/what gifs i’m editing and where i’m getting them from. i also include a couple extra ideas in case the gifs i have planned end up being too hard to color or don’t fit in the set. i’ve found it’s best/easiest to start w the list bc there is literally nothing worse than spending hours on a set and then not being able to complete it.

as for actually finding the material, i have a pretty healthy number of scene packs saved in my giffing folder, esp. for things i know i will gif frequently. most of the time i will peruse youtube, vimeo, and instagram for any aesthetic scenes. i also have a lot of gif packs saved specifically for the purpose of making mbs (usually i mix my own gifs w gif packs), if you msg me i’m happy to direct you to some gif packs i use regularly or you can check my #resources tag. a couple tips for finding material: 

always opt for download when possible, i used to screen record and the difference when i switched to downloading was astronomical. (it’s easy to lose quality and esp if you’re on mac, quicktime duplicates frames so either you have to manually delete those extras or you get sort of choppy gifs when you load them into ps.)

always use 1080p or better, 720p will work in a pinch for 268px or 177px gifs since you can make up some of that resolution loss with sharpening, but don’t go any lower than that, just love yourself. 

for pale sets, look for the right colors. i tend to look for scenes w high color contrast especially if it features poc so it’s easier to color without whitewashing, ie if the subject is a person then i look for light colored or blue/green/violet/white backgrounds. it’ll make your life wayyyyy easier. this also means if you’re making a set try to find scenes with already similar lighting bc you won’t have to work so hard to make it look cohesive.

here’s a quick rundown of what i do before coloring:

import all frames and save all the files in a folder together!!

play around with frame delay so all the gifs are moving at about the same speed, usually keep it between 0.03-0.05s

crop and resize gifs (i use 268x145 most of the time)

convert to timeline

when it comes to coloring it can be really hit or miss, i’ve recently gotten back into my groove but i was having sooo much trouble earlier this year. in general, don’t stress yourself out!! sometimes it’s easier to just find a new scene/gif (hence my list of extras!) than to try too hard to fit a gif into your set. i color all my gifs by scratch (ie no psds) but i tend to follow the same pattern, i’ll explain using these gifs/psd as an example since then i can also explain how to fix white-washing:

first off when you’re coloring gifs with poc always always always make a layer mask so you can compare the edited and unedited skin tones directly! i use the marquee tool to make a selection in the middle of the character’s face, select the folder of my adjustment layers, and hit ‘add vector mask’ (the third button from the left on the layers panel, it’s a white rectangle with a circle in it). 

i almost always begin by using hue/saturation layers to highlight and delete certain colors. here i highlighted red and raised the lightness on yellow by a lot since it’s a very yellow scene. then i use a combination of brightness/contrast, levels, and curves layers to brighten the scene. here’s what i have now:

i add a gradient map set to black/white, change the blending to exclusion, and lower the opacity to between 5-10% (depending on the scene) to lighten the contrast further:

then i add back a little depth with selective color in neutrals and blacks:

now i have two main goals: 1. add contrast between the background and the subject, and 2. brighten the scene into a pale gif. to do this, i use color balance to tweak the color of the background, taking out the yellows. this step works best if there’s at least some shade difference between your subject and background, otherwise isolating the two will be impossible. here’s what i have after adding color balance:

i use hue/saturation to selectively highlight the background color. in this case i chose to adjust magenta and used the color picker (the first eyedropper on the left) to identify the exact shade i wanted to lighten. now i have a fairly neutral background and a colorful subject, which gives a sort of pale effect:

and now i use a curves layer and a selective color (white) layer to brighten further:

before i go further, i start fixing white-washing. keep in mind that some variance is normal since you are naturally changing the lighting of the scene; this gif shows it rlly clearly bc of how yellow and dim the lighting is, so some lightening is to be expected. however, both because the vector mask shows a lot of whitening and because i’ve giffed dev patel before and have a general idea of what he looks like in this type of lighting, i know what needs to be fixed, so i go back in under the psd/adjustment layers with a combination of selective color (red and neutral) and hue/saturation layers to darken his skin again:

now that some more contrast has been added in, i can go back to working on the psd and use curves and selective color to play around with the background again:

i use another hue/saturation layer and a black/white gradient to tone down oversaturation:

usually i leave those layers on top, so if i want to make any adjustments (like lightening the background more), i go in under those two. in this case i tweaked the whites and reduced the contrast a little to get this:

again, you can see his skin tone has changed from the original, but variation is to be expected given how much brighter the room is, the fact that i took out a lot of yellow lighting, and the brightening effect of the computer screen in front of him. some other things to keep in mind when coloring:

when you add layers to correct white-washing, you’re likely to end up with overly red/orange skin tones (red-washing). this can be fixed by upping cyans in the reds, desaturating/darkening the reds, or adding b/w or desaturation later on.

when in doubt, it’s better to be darker than lighter (the issue with white-washing is that it promotes colorism, and there is nothing inherently wrong with a darker skin tone) but really. just put in the effort to color poc correctly.

when changing the lighting a lot it helps to look at pictures of the subject in natural/bright lighting, since you get a better idea of what their normal skin tone is. 

don’t try to squeeze all your selective color layers into one. you’ll get less grainy gifs if you separate them out and work one by one. 

TURN OFF NIGHT SHIFT/NIGHT MODE! yes i KNOW it’s bad for your eyes (especially if you’re like me and gif at night, when the lighting outside isn’t changing every 20 seconds) but your gifs will look VERY different under f.lux or night mode compared to daytime screens. especially if you’re giffing at different times of day, blue light filters can really change the way your coloring appears. best to keep it consistent.

my sharpening settings vary depending on what i’m giffing but in general i do two layers of smart sharpen (500% with radius between 0.2-0.4, 10% with radius at 10px) and then gaussian blur at 2.5px and adjust the opacity so it’s somewhere between 15-20%. i try to strike a balance between smoothing out the graininess from selective color, and sharpening details like clothes and hair. here’s what i ended up with for the gif above:

then i rinse and repeat for the rest of the gifs in the set! i tend to start with the gifs that i know will be hardest to color, which is usually the darker ones (coloring is limited by how much i can brighten the scene) and those that include poc (again, limited by how much i can brighten and adjust the scene’s lighting without white-washing). then i check set cohesion as i go, using those first few gifs as benchmarks. once i have all 8 (or 9 or 10) gifs, i play around with composition and try to balance and vary the subject, colors, and composition of gifs next to each other. i go back and make a couple of adjustments here and there according to what i observe and what i think might improve the overall appearance.

and that’s pretty much it! i hope this was helpful, if you have other questions feel free to message me and i’d be happy to help/troubleshoot. happy giffing!

[nightwingmyboi]

Pt 1) I'm ngl, if this Ric Grayson arc ends with Dick finally going off on the rest of the batfam for only showing him affection when they need something, it will almost be worth it. You mentioned in the meta about his relationship with the batfam that to recover from the gunshot he cut every one off (ngl, I stopped reading as soon as his memories were wiped), and I think that means now is the perfect time (or when his memories finally return fully next issue) for him to blow up

Pt 2) I want him to go off on Bruce for never seeming satisfied with what he does. I want him to go off on Tim for running away when everything was going to shit while Bruce was stuck in time (there's evidence that he remembers pre reboot stuff with that one panel that has torque and tarantula and him proposing to Babs so I'm going to say that's all still canon). I want him to lose his shit with Babs for constantly being mad at him when he's trying so hard (I love Babs, but this is annoying)

Pt 3) when he gets his memories back I want him to finally blow up. Like??? His life has been in a constant state of falling apart since he became Nightwing (hell, even before that), but he still always put others first. And now Roy is dead, Donna is evil, Wally is who knows where after killing Roy, Jason and Bruce are back on the outs, etc, etc and people were saying they need him back to fix things when he's recovering from being shot in the head. If they let him point this out, the Ric arc

Pt 4) will have been validated in my eyes. Still fucking terrible writing wise, execution (I was excited for Talon! Dick but christ what I read of it was bad), one of the worst decisions they've made recently, and they've made a bunch of bad ones, but it will be validated in its existence to me.

Yeah, Dick takes a lot of crap from the members of his family; a lot of the things you listed are things that I am very much not a fan of, lmao. And I’d even add that, with the Ric stuff you mention, it wasn’t even that Dick “cut everyone off” so that he could recover; I should have made this clearer--Bruce and the rest of the family should take a lot of the blame for pushing Dick away. See, initially, Dick was open to the idea of getting to know his family. He visited the manor and then Bruce, impatient with the lack of progress Dick was making on regaining his memories, decided to take Dick down to the Batcave, show him the Nightwing suit (that still had the freaking blood from the gunshot wound on it Jesus Christ), and traumatize Dick with the video of him getting shot in the head in order to stir up some memories. Alfred and Damian help Bruce do this:

Nightwing: Rebirth Annual #2

And Dick is obviously horrified. After this, why in the world would Dick want to be Nightwing? Why would he want to associate with his “family”? Staying away from the manor wasn’t Dick cutting out people in his life who cared for him and were trying to help him; it was about, in Dick’s mind, staying away from people who were willing to hurt him, people who cared more about his utility and how they needed him to be Nightwing then they cared about his safety and wellbeing. It was a desperate move to protect himself from people he could no longer trust. It is clear that implanted false memories and other brainwashing was done from the very beginning (by the doctor Bruce specifically hired no less) in order to ensure that “Ric” would not be comfortable with Bruce and would be inclined to leave, but it was Bruce’s actions that had Dick running literally right into his brainwasher’s arms: 

It’s also not even like afterwards Dick hid himself in some unknown location, completely out of contact. Barbara easily tracked Dick down to talk. And yet, when Barbara talks to him, she doesn’t ask Dick if he’s alright. She just tells him that they want him to regain his memories (umm...yeah you’ve made that clear), comments that he’s not acting like himself, and tells him to come back to the manor. So...it’s all about what the family wants. Dick says no, and there are zero attempts at a compromise. Maybe the family could have used the millions of dollars at its disposal to set Dick up elsewhere outside the manor so he doesn’t have to, uh, live in a cab? Maybe they could agree to occasional check-ins instead of the overbearing babysitting they were suggesting, that Dick is uncomfortable with? Maybe they could ask Dick what he wants? But, no. As soon as Dick doesn’t do exactly what they want him to, he’s on his own. People talk about how this arc is making Dick look bad, but beyond that, really it's making all of the family look like uncaring, selfish assholes. 

That aside, about how I want this arc to conclude...it would be nice, as readers, to see Dick finally put his foot down and stand up for himself a little. But honestly? Him going off on everyone like you describe? I feel like that would be out of character. I could maybe see Dick telling off Batman, but I can’t even imagine Dick truly blowing up at Damian or Tim, or really even Barbara. People really over exaggerate Dick’s temper a lot; in reality, it usually takes very extreme circumstances, and often an insane amount of stress and/or brainwashing to make Dick lash out. Bruce is one of the few people that can make Dick lose his temper, so maybe. But I also think that when Dick is truly upset and emotionally compromised, his first move is to go somewhere to be alone. He doesn’t tend to lash out; he tends to retreat and isolate himself if he’s able. You’ll often see him hole himself in his apartment when everything becomes too much. Two good examples of this are in Joker’s Last Laugh and in the Outsiders. After Dick kills the Joker, he immediately retreats to his apartment to be alone, and likewise after Donna dies, he spends months isolated from his friends in Bludhaven: 

Teen Titans/Outsiders Secret Files

And not only all that, but I really don’t think Dick yelling at everyone would be cathartic for him. If he did something like that, he’d feel terrible and guilty about it. He’d apologize. And I really don’t want him to have to apologize for anything in the aftermath of all this horrible stuff he’s been through. I don’t want any of the responsibility for making things right to be put on his shoulders. Though he’ll probably feel the need to try to fix things anyway, I’d actually prefer him to just...stay away from the family. Not avoid them, but let them be the ones to reach out to him for a change. Especially recently, Dick has had to do all the emotional work in his relationships; it would be so gratifying to have his friends and family put the work in on their own and be the ones to initiate so Dick doesn’t have to do all the heavy lifting. 

And hey, I’d love even more for one of the numerous friends he used to have to step in and stand up for him instead, so he doesn’t have to. If the rest of the Titans were not currently being put through depressing arcs themselves (or being dead, RIP Roy), I think they definitely would’ve knocked some heads together. I think the only possible solution...is Uncle Clark coming to the rescue! Surely if Superman knew what was going on, he’d come down to the cave and give a good old fashioned tongue lashing to Batman for his pseudo-nephew’s sake! I’m not caught up with the Superman comics so idk what he’s up to rn, but please tell me this can happen and if not let me dream.

Thanks for the ask! I feel your pain, was pretty disappointed with Talon Dick. I really want to just reach into the comics and wrap Dick up in a blanket or something, give him rest!

[rogue-durin-16]

THE KEEPER (Part I/II)

Summary: When a mysterious person threatens the heir's life, the service of a personal guard is required to keep him safe until the foe is found. Fíli, who doesn't take the matter very seriously, only sees it as an chance to spend more time with certain knight.

Pairing: Fíli x Reader

Genre: angst-fluff

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @queenofmankind @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: a little angst, probably some typos

A/N: am I deliberately ignoring the canonical end of The Hobbit? Maybe so. PSA my phone died and i just got a new one; I'm still getting used to typing with it, that's why I haven't updated in more than a week. It's also why you'll probably find typos here, but I hope you enjoy this nonetheless <3.

Part II

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

I sighed at the music that echoed through the pillared halls of Erebor and managed to sneak into my room. Staying isolated while the whole kingdom was partying made my immature side, the one who would run down to the celebration in the blink of an eye, come to the surface, burying my common sense in its way.

"Must I tie you down to the lamppost?" Luckily, I had the most efficient keeper in the entire Royal Guard to remind me what I could and couldn't do.

"Would it kill you to relax?" I teased, though I had gotten her memo and was already moving away from my door.

"Probably." She replied, sparing me a quick glance with raised eyebrows. "Likely, it would kill you too." I rolled my eyes at her. "That's rather the point."

As a new idea crossed my mind, a smile flashed across my face "I'll risk it." I said, moving to stand in front of her, and held out a hand. "Dance with me?"

"No?" her tone expressed perfectly her incredulity at my words.

"Y/n I'm so bored, please, indulge me." her eyes opened widely, throwing daggers at me as I removed her sword and started to tug her towards me. "No one will attempt to kill me here."

"We don't know that." she retorted, though she didn't stop me from placing one hand on her waist and the other up in the air holding hers.

"Yes we do." I hummed, starting to sway at the rhythm of the music, quieted down due to the distance between us and the great halls. "We're in my chambers."

"will you remind me why aren't you at the party?" she inquired intently.

"Because of Thorin's paranoia?" I feigned innocence as I pretended to doubt the answer.

"Wrong." I pouted and she shook her head. "Someone sent you a death threat." I huffed, pulling away from her to spin her around. "You should take it seriously." I dramatically groaned, pulling her back to me. "Fíli." I couldn't help but grin.

It took me quite a while —almost a year— to convince her to call me by my name and not by my title.

"There is nothing to worry about," I stated, earning a tired sigh from her. We had been having that same back and forth for a week —it had started as soon as she had been assigned that task, in which I might have had a hand. "Because you are here to protect me."

"Something I can't quite do if I'm dancing."

"I said I'll risk it" i repeated with raised eyebrows.

It was then that she finally started to relax in my arms, not before letting out a sigh of defeat accompanied by an eyeroll though. Her beautiful eyes drifted off me to get lost somewhere at my left; took that opportunity to let my poor façade down and stared at her mesmerized as if she was the Arkenstone.

It's not as if I didn't make it quite obvious that I fancied her —actually, that was an understatement— but often my feelings were accompanied by a joking tone to spare my heart from Y/n's genuine reply.

A strong knock made us jump away from each other and rush to get our respective weapons. "Fíli?" My shoulders relaxed when Nori's voice reached us, but just as I stepped to open the door, Y/n tugged my arm to stand behind her. "Calm down, will you?" The dwarf requested, offended at Y/n's hostility whilst letting him pass.

"I tried telling her, but she won't listen." Y/n huffed and I winked at her. "What is it?"

"Thorin wants to move you to another room until this is sorted out." My eyes widened at his words. Now the whole matter was starting to look like a tempest in a teacup. "Dwalin offered to exchange chambers with you."

"You're all exaggerating." Y/n joined Nori in his task of picking up the necessary. "This is ridiculous!" Both of them were now running around the room, completely ignoring me. "I can defend myself!" Y/n, now at the doorframe, motioned me to follow her out of the room. "I refuse to leave my room just because a coward sent—"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Force wasn't necessary." I grumbled, throwing myself over my back to the king sized bed. It wasn't as comfortable as mine.

"In fact," she gave me an intent look, taking off her light armor and mesh, and throwing them over a stone bench. "it was."

I propped myself up with my forearms, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I stared at Y/n. "What are you doing?"

"Getting ready to sleep?" She replied, leaving her sword as close to her as possible, in case she had to reach for it.

"In that chair?"

"Yes?" Now she was the one who frowned confused. "Where else?" With eyebrows raised, I motioned at the large, empty space on the bed. "No?"

"There's enough room left for you and your sword." She snorted as if I was joking —which I partially was but not entirely. "We're both grownups are we not?" Her eyes pierced through me giving me that look. "It wouldn't be the first time that we sleep together anyway."

"We are not to repeat that." She stated.

"Y/n? Y/n." I kicked her leg through my blanket and hers, making her gasp and consecutively turn to meet me with an annoyed gaze. "Don't give me that look."

"You just kicked me." She hissed in the same quiet tone I was speaking.

"Because you're shivering."

She completely spun around so now we were face to face. "That's not a valid reason to kick me."

"I was trying to get your attention." Before she could complain again, I rushed the words out of my mouth. "Sleep with me." She slightly scooted away, surely taken aback by my suggestion. "I'm freezing too." I added, which wasn't a lie, just an exaggeration.

Before I knew it, we were laying together with both blankets over us, our legs interlaced, and our faces way too close.

"this is the most uncomfortable position we could have chosen, is it not?" I laughed, refusing to let my cheeks redden.

She laughed too, in the same way I had. "Any suggestions?"

"maybe..." I started guiding her, searching for another posture. "Maybe... Like this? or-"

I was cut off by her quiet laughter, now genuine and contagious, as she had ended up with her torso over mine. "I don't think this is better." She caged me so she could prop herself and move; and she propped herself, but didn't move.

The muffled chuckles had died the moment our gazes met. Both of us parted our lips in an attempt to say something, but none spoke.

With our eyes locked, my hands carefully traveled up her thighs whilst one of hers hesitantly caressed my cheek.

As if we had silently agreed on it, we both leaned into each other and let our lips share a ghostlike kiss that left me yearning for more. It was the reason why I unconsciously lifted myself, trying to capture Y/n's lips when she pulled away.

I snapped out of it when my forehead met hers and her hands rested on my chest. It was the strangest sensation; seeing the regret in her orbs at the same time as I felt her body refraining itself from returning to me.

"... would it be so bad?"

Y/n opened her mouth like a fish out of water. "It would be worse. I thought I made clear that this" she finally spoke, motioning between me and her "cannot happen."

"Well, this time we're not sleeping in the woods." I reasoned, deliberately ignoring the pang in my chest. "So there is no reason for it to happen again. Now" I patted the matress. "Sleep with me."

After a moment of meditation, she gave in and lay down, throwing the soft furs over her.

Silence.

"This is uncomfortable." She spoke, both of our bodies stiff and our eyes on the ceiling.

"It is."

Silence.

"Okay, take the bed." I finally said, attempting to get off it and move to the chair, just to be tugged back by her hands.

"Don't you dare." Before I could argue, she scooted closer and I had to force myself to relax when she laid her head on my chest because I could make it even more uncomfortable if I didn't do so. "No kissing this time." She teased.

"Yes ma'am." I replied with a chuckle, wrapping my arms around her.

It didn't take long for either of us to fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

I woke up to Fíli and Kíli's hushed voices, and I instantly jolted up, entering a kind of alert mode that only the two brothers were able to get me into.

"What are you doing?" Kíli's eyes went from his brother to me, and back to his brother. "What is it?" Instead of giving me a reply, the younger prince nodded at the blond one and exited the room. "What on Durin's beard was that?" I inquired, suspicious.

"I was telling him where I was going." Replied, sheathing his blade.

"You are not going anywhere."

"I am going out."

"No you're not." I commanded, already dreading it would be in vain.

"To Dale." He was speaking so casually, as if he wasn't about to disobey direct orders from our king and to get me in trouble in the process.

"Fíli."

"I need fresh air!" His voice became slightly louder in desperation.

"Go to the damn balcony!" I replied, mirroring his tone as I threw the furs off me.

"I'm going out."

"Well, I'm staying here." I firmly stated, not willing to give in just yet.

"Then I'm going out alone." And with that, he left. "Until this afternoon!"

"What even-" after going through a moment of shock, I got up and put on my boots, only being able to grab my sword and belt before rushing out of the room.

"Oh so you are coming?" He teased, literally strutting along the hallway, not bothering on slowing down the pace for me to be able to buckle my belt and sword around my waist without struggling.

"You're impossible." I yanked his arm to stop his walking.

With my attention on the belt I didn't notice how close he had gotten, so when his hands appeared in front of my eyes, pulling away mine, I had to stop myself from gasping. "You have always loved challenges." He pointed out, taking care of securing the belt around me.

"Not when I have to keep the challenge safe." He pulled at the leather clothing to make sure it was okay, and then held my hand to prompt me to resume the walk. "I don't even have my armor on."

"You won't need it." He assured me, not allowing me to go back before sneaking us out of the mountain.

This would surely end terribly.

[seyaryminamoto]

Why do u wanna leave Venezuela? I'm 'new' here and didn't know about everything that happened in Venezuela and ur circumstances. Could u enlighten me?

Oof... it’s a pretty long story. A story that literally began before I was born :’D

Venezuela used to be one of the most prosperous countries in South America, mainly because of our surprisingly massive oil reserves. Once those were discovered, back 1928, we went from old-school rural country to the hub of development and modernity in South America. Everything looked poised to continue progressing...! But then it didn’t. Slowly but surely, government mismanagement resulted in bad decisions that started Venezuela’s downfall. At the time, those decisions appeared catastrophic. In retrospect, they weren’t even a hint of the hell we would experience during my lifetime.

One president, a rather controversial one, decided he’d raise the cost of gasoline in the country, back in 1989. It may sound pretty casual, but it wasn’t: Venezuela, hub of oil, had always taken advantage of subsidized oil for its citizens. Meaning, gasoline was cheaper than water for us. I’m not even joking, it literally was. But the president at the time thought this couldn’t be sustainable and increased prices.

This resulted in a popular backlash against this decision, which resulted in considerable lootings over the course of a few days, as well as murders, violent protests, all sorts of chaos... eventually, this event became the perfect excuse for a certain, powerhungry, military “leader” to take advantage of and stage a coup to overthrow that president. This military leader’s coup didn’t work, and he was sent to jail (not before him and his cronies killed, in cold blood, an undefined number that ranges between 100 and 300 people in their attempts to overthrow the government).

A few years after the coup attempt, the military leader in question... was released. Despite being the intellectual artificer of the deaths of a number ranging around 100-300 people.

By now, he can be held responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people instead :’)

And that graphic is for outright murder. That’s not accounting for the people who died because of food or medicine shortages, it’s not accounting for the many people the current government numbers have covered up... it’s not all the people who have had to pay with their lives for the absolutely dreadful mismanagement of the country in current times. And what does that military leader have to do with all these deaths? Why would I hold HIM responsible?

Why, because he became president of Venezuela in the year of 1998. That’s why :’)

There’s no easy way of summing up everything going downhill in this country. You could, however, say that every hardship we’ve had to deal with here is a consequence of the absolutely horrid, corrupt, criminal decisions of a government that has zero interest in governing a country. All they want is to line their pockets with blood money and pay for none of the crimes they’ve committed while in power. And they’ll ally themselves with as many dangerous countries and regimes as they possibly can to get away with it, regardless of where they stand on the political spectrum (they’re best buddies with far-right and far-left regimes just the same. Kinda says something, doesn’t it?).

Just to put things in context: Chavez, the military leader who became president, committed thousands of awful decisions. He rewrote the Constitution, he set up his goons to handle our Electoral College so that they’d rig the system and ensure he got away with victories in all the elections that mattered, he set up huge restrictions on international trade, to the point where people COULDN’T do any sorts of operations with foreign currency without asking his government for permission first, which became a HUGE source of corruption...

But the likely worst part of it all is what affects everyone, from day to day, all throughout the country. And that is the government’s monopoly over EVERY BASIC NEED INDUSTRY in this country.

Currently, as I type this? My building has had running water for 3 days straight, in the middle of a pandemic (and that’s just my personal experience, there’s a HUGE lot of people who haven’t had running water for MONTHS and have to collect water on rivers or hire water trucks that are more and more expensive with every passing day). Me and my parents are living off water reserves that we must constantly collect whenever the water comes back, because these water cuts happen at RANDOM, with ZERO WARNING, with NO EXPLANATION and you have no right to protest to the water company (if you did, you’d go ignored. If you don’t go ignored, you go jailed. That’s your full spectrum of choices in this situation).

And of course, the vital question: who has the monopoly over the water companies throughout the country? The State.

Currently, as I type this? My WiFi is unstable (heck, it crashed just as I was typing this answer, the irony is strong!), and only three devices can be connected at a time. No, it’s not the router’s fault, because while it could sound as the obvious answer, it’s not configurated to limit the number of users. Only a month ago, all devices you felt like connecting could connect indeed, though the network was unstable anyhow. By now, the network is still unstable, and it can’t support all the devices we should have online.

Who runs the phone/internet company I use? The State.

A little over a year ago, a spree of nation-wide blackouts plagued the country. We spent whole days offline, completely isolated from the world, because not even cellphone networks would function if the cellphone towers were down too. All we could do was listen to radio, and ONLY if you had battery-powered radios. Even then, most radio stations weren’t even offering real information on what was going on, and the one that was got kicked offline earlier this year I think? Because their permit to operate in the country was revoked (the truth? the government has been taking advantage of ANY excuse to get rid of media that doesn’t report about them favorably since 2008, at least).

Who runs the electrical company that supplies THE ENTIRE COUNTRY? The State.

And I could go on, and on, and on... but I think you’ll get the picture by now. Basically, every single issue you find in this country (in 2013, we were ranked the most insecure country in the world, in 2019 the most MISERABLE country in the world) goes back to the people in charge, who have only made choices to benefit themselves and seldom to help the “people” they’ve always claimed to be working for. They’ve broken the laws they wrote themselves, they’ve become internationally persecuted criminals for helming drug trafficking networks, for crimes as outlandish as supplying Venezuelan passports to known, persecuted terrorists (while, btw, making actual Venezuelan people pay about $200 for a passport... when our minimum wage, MONTHLY, is around $1.3? No, that’s not a miscalculation or an exaggeration, it’s further evidence of what I said up there regarding being the most miserable country in the world), they’ve imprisoned and exiled countless members of their political opposition under fabricated charges, commited outright crimes of torture, including sexual torture, on peaceful protesters who were taken (sometimes just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time) by the national guards or police, 98% of actual crime goes unpunished in this country because the government outright instigates, encourages and even SUPPLIES criminals, since they’re basically a perfect method to keep the population at bay...?

Living in Venezuela has rendered me incapable of enjoying pretty much any form of dystopic storytelling. This mess began when I was 3-years-old, and it gets worse and worse and worse with every day that goes by. There’s no end in sight, no likely improvements, no solutions because nothing that has been tried has been any closer to succeeding at liberating this country from the nightmare clutches it’s in.

And of course, the worldwide pandemic only makes matters worse because, while I wasn’t going to be able to leave the country just yet anyhow, I had hoped to get out this year. By now, hell knows when I’ll be able to leave at all.

*sigh* And there you have it. I’m sure, if you’re curious, you can look up some more on the subject, though there’s a lot of false BS online, propaganda trying to paint the government as victims of the international community when that couldn’t be further from the truth, so if you have anything else you’d like to know... feel free to ask :’)

(Found this article too, it seems to do a relatively better overview than I did to explain why we’re in the ninth circle of hell... it’s a longer read than this ask, I suspect, but it ought to answer any lingering questions anyhow)

[fallenflowersfromgrace]

I know you said you never related to characters much, but i really wanna know how donyou relate to characters on certain aspects

It wasn't that I never related to characters, but more like I've never looked at a character and gone, "that's me. That is 100% me." If that makes sense.

So for this, we're gonna make this easy.

LUZ NOCEDA

So I'm not as out going as Luz is. I wish I had her confidence to just unapologetically be herself and decide to make her own happiness. But I wasn't bullied in my younger years, and never felt wronged for being weird in my own way.

We do have a thing or two in common. We do have a similar way of befriending people. We both love helping our friends and try our best to help them out. There's also the thing of fanfic writing. Plus the fact she goes above and beyond with school related things is also me...mine just wasn't as cool as hers. And there's also the matter of wanting to know the life story of those close to me because tbh, I love a good story.

But the part that made me feel for this loveable child is her relationship with her mom. My mom and I don't see eye to eye on a lot of stuff. Rather it be my religious beliefs, my grades and how much effs I give, or how I wanna dress (because apparently graph tees and sweats aren't always gonna cut it). But she loves me and wants what best for me. However there is a wedge between us even though we're at a common ground-ish. I am not at all bashing on Camilia. I love Camilia. I'm just saying the misunderstanding between her and Luz hit a little too close to home if the main topic was switched.

Daisy Johnson (Agents of Shield)

So if none of you are Aos fans then you have no idea who this is. But the one thing you should understand about this character is that she is a main focus point of the found family dynamics in the show.

I would see her and the other characters bond and become this little family and I would get somewhat jealous because when I first saw this dynamic I was 10 and going through a sort of isolation period from some close friends and family (time zones suck) and I only believed that stuff existed on T.V. but fast forward to now and I managed to gain four siblings (all younger) and a best friend for life after we all ended up miraculously living in the same neighborhood and having no choice but to interact with each other.

So I got my found family which isn't something I would've thought possible way back then.

Literally Any Female Disney Villain

According to some, I have a witch laugh when I come up with a questionable idea.

Idk if this next part is considered "relating"

So characters like Eclipsa Butterfly (SVTFOE) and Eda(lyn) Clawthrone (The Owl House) have one thing in common and it's that they became mother figures. (That and the fact they are both powerful af and totally ditched the norm of what was expected of them) This is more what I got off of them rather than how Eclipsa and I are chocolate lovers and Eda's parenting would definitely be me (if my interactions with my younger siblings are anything to go by)

Eclipsa was supportive and had become Star's second mother of sorts. She never ridiculed Star or waved off her problems, and being 14 years old who was having my both my parents breathing down my neck to start caring about the issues they were trying to address to me-I'm not going into detail. But I wanted someone like Eclipsa in my life. Someone who told me it was okay to step outside the box and you can just go for it and let it play out.

As for Eda, well...as far as found mothers go, she is by far my favorite. She encourages Luz's weirdness, and is so supportive and I look at her dynamic with Luz and I want that. I wish I had someone like Eda to tell me it's okay not to be perfect all the time. That you don't have to try and please the system. That I don't want you to change, I want you to be happy the way you are. (Plus Eda is a total mood and I strive to be as awesome as her.)

I've also had a sort of admiration for female characters that dealt with magic or some type of darkness. (I just either found them cool as a character or their aesthetic cool).

Examples would be Hela (Thor Ragnarok), Shinigami (Tmnt 2k12), The Hex Girls (Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost) Lilith Clawthrone (The Owl House) Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty as well as the Maleficent movie but not the second one) and The Evil Queen/Regina Mills (Once Upon a Time I 11 yrs old and going through a villains phase))