#i'm having such a good time with my awful barbies

[doomedlightningshard]

and as i watched from underneath i came aware of all that she dreamed the little foxes, so safe and sound they were not dead, they'd gone to ground

[superhaught]

Sweetest Girl (Chapter Two)

Pairing: Regina George x Reader

Warning(s): discussion of disability

Word Count: 2200, Part 2/?

Author's Note: I was able to finish chapter 2! I'm sorry for the massive delay since positing any writing, it's been a time recently. I'll keep doing my best but pls don't hold it against me if I don't post for a while again. I still care about Regina so so much. Thank you to bestie @sapphicantics for helping me go back to this and reading it first :P

Summary: Reader goes over to Regina's house to work on some more chemistry lessons.

Part 1

Friday’s chemistry lecture was cut off by the dismissal bell and the teacher frustratingly called out as students were already busting through the door, “quiz on Monday! Don’t forget and study hard this weekend!” 

You were packing up your notes when five perfectly manicured fingernails rapped on the corner of your desk. 

You looked up and met the blonde's eyes. 

“So quiz on Monday, can I get some extra tutoring this weekend?” 

You nodded slowly, “do you want me to come to your place?” 

“I do.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t want -“ 

“I already told you, yes. Stop being so weird about it. Tomorrow. Come over around lunchtime. My mom will feed us then we can work.” 

You bit your lip and then nodded again, “okay.” 

Regina gave you her version of a smile and then flicked her hair behind her shoulder as she left the classroom. 

You saw that the teacher had been watching your exchange.

“It’s working,” they said, “whatever you’re doing. Her homework was better.” 

“You definitely can’t tell me that.” 

“Just keep it up. She’ll be okay.” 

You smiled and nodded, hugging your books to your chest and leaving the classroom. 

After a twenty-five minute walk, you were standing at the end of the driveway to the George residence. 

You looked up at the massive house in awe. It was clearly a new build. Likely custom-designed by the Georges. Two stories. Huge yard. You imagined an underground pool and a deck with a built-in, year round jacuzzi in the back. A movie theater and second kitchen in the basement. A yoga room with a Peleton for Ms. George. Master bath with a soaking tub. 

You were afraid to go in. 

You stood outside and stared for a minute longer before finally walking up the driveway (not made of asphalt or cement, but pristine white rocks). You walked past Regina’s Jeep, a Mercedes, and an Audi all parked (as well as a children’s Barbie Jeep abandoned in the lawn, belonging to Regina’s younger sister you assumed). 

You giggled at that. You imagined Regina either beaming with pride or fuming with rage at the idea of her little sister wanting a matching car to Regina. 

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the front door and waited for a moment, hearing a faint “get the door!” from inside.

Regina opened the door, “hey, did you find parking on the street?” 

“Oh, I didn’t drive.”

“Someone dropped you off then? Do you have a ride home after?” 

You shook your head, “I walked.” 

“What the fuck?” 

A woman called out from inside the house, “Regina! Language!” 

Regina clenched her jaw and inhaled slowly through her nose, flaring her nostrils. 

“It’s not a big deal,” you responded quietly. 

Regina rolled her eyes, “I’ll drive you home when we’re done, Jesus Christ.” 

“You really don’t have to drive me home, it’s okay.” 

“Shut up, it’s literally nothing. Now come inside you weirdo.” 

You followed Regina in, and the interior of the house was even more grand than the exterior. 

You didn’t have much time to take it all in before Regina’s mom was pouncing on you and pulling you into a hug then holding your shoulders and examining you head to toe, “well aren’t you a cute little thing!? I love meeting Regina’s new friends.” 

“She’s my tutor mom.” 

“Cute and smart, then! Well I hope the two of you become friends, Regina needs good influences in her life.” 

“Mom.” 

Ms. George raised her hands in mock-surrender, “Sorry! I’m just trying to be helpful, my goodness.” 

You tried to force a smile and fidgeted with the zipper of your jacket awkwardly. 

“Did you make us snacks?” 

“Oh yes!” Ms. George trotted back into the kitchen and came back with a tray stacked with a variety of finger foods and fruity little drinks complete with excessive garnishes. She passed the tray to you, “here you ladies go. Study hard!” 

“Thanks,” Regina didn’t wait around any longer before starting up the staircase to the second floor and expecting you to follow behind.

“Um, it was nice meeting you!” You directed to Ms. George, “you have a beautiful home.” 

“Thank you sweetie-“ 

“Hurry up.” Regina cut her mom off while standing at the top of the steps with a hand on her hip.

You rushed up the rest of the steps and followed Regina into her room. She immediately went to her floor-length mirror and adjusted her hair while you set the tray of snacks down on her vanity. 

“Not there,” Regina snapped, as if it was obvious.

“Where then?” 

Regina pointed lazily toward the ottoman at the foot of her bed and you obeyed, setting the tray down and then helping yourself to a handful of homemade trail mix. 

Regina came over and sat down on her bed and grabbed a single celery stick to eat. 

You must have made a face that Regina noticed because she raised an eyebrow at you, “what?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Why are you making that face?” 

“Oh, nothing, I just don’t like celery.” 

“You don’t have to eat it.” 

“I know, Regina.” You could feel yourself shrinking as your shoulders slumped. 

“It’s like negative calories so.”

“Well, actually…” 

Regina narrowed her eyes at you.

“Nevermind. So, do you want to work on material for the quiz?” 

Regina threw herself backwards and collapsed into her duvet in exasperation, “ugggghhhh!” 

“That’s why you wanted me to come over, right?” 

“Well duh… I’m just tired.” 

“I’m sorry.”

Regina propped herself up on her elbows and looked at you, “for what?” 

“That you’re tired?” 

She scoffed, “you don’t need to be sorry about that. See? You’re too nice.” 

You shrugged, “I guess it’s just something people say.” 

“Oh? So you agree, then? That niceness is a facade that people use to disguise their true feelings?” 

You shook your head, incredulous, “I didn’t say that.”

“Are you really, actually sorry that I’m tired or are you just saying it, then?“ 

You took a beat to think and then answered emphatically, “I am actually sorry. It’s called empathy. I feel bad that you feel rundown, and if you aren’t up for studying today, I would understand.” 

She raised an eyebrow again in her classic fashion, “I guess I just really don’t understand that. Why would you feel bad that I’m tired? And why wouldn’t you be upset if I wasn’t in the mood to study after you put in the effort to walk all the way here?” 

“I don’t know why, that’s just how I feel. What should I say instead? I don’t care that you’re tired, suck it up I’m here to make you better at chemistry?” 

“Maybe you should,” Regina shrugged. 

You shook your head, “I don’t want to say that. That’s not helpful to anyone. Are you going to retain any of the content we go over if I push you to do it when you don’t feel good?” 

“How do you know I’m not lying or just complaining for the sake of it? Maybe I need to be pushed.”

“Fine, give me a reason then. Why are you tired?” 

Regina thought about it for a minute, then her voice came out surprisingly quiet, “you know the accident from last year? The bus thing?” 

You nodded. 

She sighed, “It’s been a long recovery. I don’t usually talk about it with anyone.” 

“You don’t have to talk about it with me if you don’t feel comfortable, but… I am here if you did want to. Talk about it, I mean.” 

Regina didn’t say anything. She started to pick at the skin around her fingernails. 

You recognized the behavior right away because you do it too. Without thinking, you moved to sit across from her on the bed and reached out, clasping your hand around hers. 

The blonde stared at you shocked. 

“Shit, I… I’m sor-“ you began, starting to pull away. 

She didn’t let you go, “It’s okay. Don’t apologize.” 

The gesture must have cracked her armor, if only a little. She shrugged her shoulders and explained, “the accident injured my neck and back so I’m doing physical therapy twice a week for that and I’ve been diagnosed with something called POTS. So my heart is all fucked up or something. I'm exhausted and in pain most of the time even though I'm taking like six different meds every day.” 

“That sounds really hard.”

“But I feel like…” her voice failed her. She frowned, cleared her throat, and started again, “I feel like I shouldn’t complain about it… wouldn’t be cute to bitch about it when everyone…” she lowered her head and stared at her comforter, “when everyone thinks I probably deserved it.” 

You frowned and squeezed her hand, “do you think you deserved to get hit by a bus?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe. It feels that way sometimes. Like I was supposed to learn some kind of lesson from it. Like I was supposed to suddenly be a better person and be grateful and be an inspiration or whatever. But that’s like some biblical bullshit. And I’m not a better person. I'm still just me but now my body doesn’t work and people don’t even bother pretending to like me anymore.” The dam had burst. The corners of her eyes started to sting with painful tears. “I’m not grateful. I don’t think what happened to me was an inspiration or whatever. I just wish I wasn’t sick and I wish that people didn’t expect anything from me.” With that, she retracted her hands from you, quickly wiped her face with her sleeves and she continued to look anywhere but right at you.

“Regina, thank you for sharing that with me. I want to help you as much as I can.”

“Why, though?”

“Because I want to.”

Regina met your eyes again, scrutinizing you. Trying to find deception that wasn’t there. 

When she finally gave up she just said, “I don’t understand you.”

You laughed, “I’ve gathered that.”

She smiled and then rolled her eyes.

“Hey, do me a favor, okay? Go change into something comfy and then lets just watch something for a bit. Whatever you want. We can recharge a little and then see about studying, and if it doesn’t happen, it’s okay.”

“Are you being serious?”

“Yes.”

Regina breathed a sigh of relief and then visibly relaxed before getting up and walking to her large closet. She came back out a few minutes later, having changed into baggy sweats. She wordlessly sat down at her vanity, tied her hair up in a loose bun, cleaned her makeup off and then replaced her contact lenses with glasses. 

You smiled to yourself while watching her. She caught you looking over in the mirror and you quickly looked away before seeing her reaction if any. 

When she came back to the bed, laptop in hand, she said, “I’d usually never let anyone see me like this.”

“Well, then I consider myself lucky. Unless you don’t plan on letting me leave here alive now that I’ve seen you ‘like this,’” putting air quotes around your words.

“Cheeky…” Regina smirked and sat back down on the bed next to you, constructing a pile of pillows against the headboard to lean on, “you wouldn’t know until it was too late, though.”

You smiled as she continued.

“I guess I just don’t really care right now.”

“Well, I’m glad that you feel at ease with me. Not that you’re any less pretty than before.”

“You liar!”

“What? I’m not lying!”

“I’m not pretty right now. I’m all puffy and my hair is gross and I have my stupid glasses on and I’m wearing my mom’s old college sweatshirt.”

You shrugged, “you are pretty, Regina. You have freckles, I didn’t know that. And your hair looks cute like this, the little strands framing your face… I don’t know, you look pretty to me.”

Regina narrowed her eyes at you and then shook her head, “okay, whatever. Let’s just… watch something now.” She redirected her attention to opening up streaming on her laptop, “have you ever seen Real Housewives?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Oh my god. Okay I’m catching up on New Jersey right now, I’ll try to fill you in.”

You smiled and nodded. 

She started the show and slid a little closer to you so that she could rest the laptop on both of your laps. 

You ended up watching the show all evening, only interrupted by Ms. George bringing some dinner upstairs for you both along with Regina’s meds.

“Sweetheart, you look… comfortable.” Ms. George remarked, her tone unmistakably judgemental. 

The corners of Regina’s mouth downturned just slightly.

“Yeah you know we just decided to have a relaxing night. No need to be all done up.” You smiled, “thank you so much for bringing us food, Ms. George.” 

The woman was thrown off and you felt victorious.

“Oh, of course. I’ll… go get you girls some popcorn.” Ms. Geroge left and shut the door behind her. 

Regina released a breath she was holding and whispered, “thank you.”

“For what?”

“For… for what you just did.”

You shrugged and took a bite of food, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Regina’s eyebrows raised and then she just laughed in disbelief before turning the show back on and saying, “you continue to surprise me…”

Next Chapter

[thats-ill-eagle]

HELLUVA BOSS DEVIATING FROM ITS ORIGINAL PREMISE FUNDAMENTALLY DESTROYED THE SHOW

So, it has already been discussed many times in HB critical community that HB deviated from its premise after S1 and that anyone with an once of media literacy can tell that you can't describe it in any way other than horrible writing.

Now, I'm going to ask you this for a second - imagine that you haven't seen S1, the pilot or read the premise of Helluva Boss anywhere. Imagine that you watch all (available) episodes of S2 and are asked to write a premise about it on some movie review website. How would you briefly describe what happens in S2?

Oh, you can't or are having major trouble doing it? Don't worry, you are not media illiterate, my friend. That is the case because IT'S LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO TELL WHAT HELLUVA BOSS IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ANYMORE.

There are many flaws that your writing could possess - inconsistent characterization, too fast/slow pacing and so on. However, they do not automatically derail your work. It is very much possible to recognize those faults, learn from them and do better in the future.

But the premise of your work is its literal BONES. You build up the plot and characters based on it. You just can't expect your show to be good, if you tear out its basis. Of course the pacing, character development and how plot points are wrapped up in HB is horrible - how can anything function without the very thing that holds it all together?

And I MEAN that the premise of HB completely disappears, not shifts or changes. Like, seriously, what the hell is HB supposed to be about now?

Stolitz?

Their interactions indicate zero meaningful development and are tediously spaced out to the point that it's hard to care about their relationship. It is made even worse by the fact that Stolas, just like in S1, still keeps pressuring Blitzo, despite him being clearly uncomfortable.

Blitzo making amends with people he hurt?

Even ignoring S1's nonexistent buildup of this plotline (Blitzo looking at photos on his phone doesn't count, since it's literally the ONLY moment that barely suggests it), there's no buildup in S2 either, when it comes to both Barbie and Fizz. It is certainly not helped by the fact that Barbie just vanishes after Unhappy Campers and Blitzo and Fizz's beef is resolved in a single episode.

Any other plotlines of S2, like Fizz's job, Crimson, Striker, or Stolas and Stella's separation are just too small or insignificant to be considered part of the supposed premise, INCLUDING the assassination business, which arguably takes up the least amount of time of aspects of the show listed.

It's no surprise that Helluva Boss is slowly crumbling. At this point, it's just a paralysed zombie who completely forgot what it once was. And it's damn sad to watch, because the show comforted me during some dark times and, despite Viv being an awful person, I truly hoped for HB to be great.

[callsignfate]

Valeria x chaotic wife pt. 2

(I had a lot of fun writing the last one, and people seemed to like it, so here's Pt. 2.)

Part One/ Part Two/ Part Three/ Part Four/ Part Five

Part Six/ Part Seven/

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

R/N: My stomach hurts.

Valeria: What have you eaten today?

R/N: Energy drink and air.

Valeria (tired of your shit): GO EAT SOMETHING, AND IM NOT TALKING ABOUT SWEETS OR THE SAME MEAL YOU EAT EVERYDAY. TRY SOMETHING HEALTHY.

R/N: ...no

Valeria: ...run.

R/N sprinting away: WAIT, I WAS KIDDING

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

R/N bursting into Valeria's office while she's in a meeting with a few men: VAL!

Valeria: I'm working. Can't you see I'm in a meeting?

R/N: I can, I just don't care.

Valeria: ...

R/N: Anyways, I found this.

Valeria: ..is that a puppy?

R/N holding up a puppy: I've named them Noir.

Valeria: You can't keep a puppy h-

R/N: I WILL RUN AWAY.

Valeria: ...fine.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

R/N walking silently with Valeria as she talks on the phone: ...

Valeria finally hanging up: You were about to combust having to be silent, weren't you?

R/N: THE BRAIN NAMED ITSELF, ALL OF THE BODY PARTS, HUMAN BRAINS NAMED EVERYTHING.

Valeria: (muttering under her breath in pure annoyance)

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: You're only a brat because you didn't have a safe space growing up where you could say no and still receive the affection you needed.

R/N: IM JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY CEREAL!

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

R/N: I'm attention starved.

Valeria: I asked you to move off of my lap so I could work 5 minutes ago.

R/N: But, you were busy all day yesterday.

Valeria: ... I don't have time for your mommy issues right now.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria (walking by the stairs talking to her men): I don't care, just get the job fucking done. Now-

R/N (falling down the stairs because she got excited to see Valeria): SCNSOSJWNDJEKE OW.

Valeria (who just watched you fall down the stairs into one of her men that was at the bottom): I need better baby gates.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

R/N: Honestly, I would say I listen pretty well

Valeria: I wouldn't say that.

R/N: I LISTEN!

Valeria: Go drink water, eat something that isn't your safe foods, and spend 10 minutes outside.

R/N: ... I listen sometimes.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

R/N: I would die for you.

Valeria: I'd rather you didn't.

R/N: I'd live for you.

Valeria: You lived before me.

R/N: I'll go drink a glass of water.

Valeria: You really do love me.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Valeria: I need to do some things, that you can't be around for.

R/N: ...Okay, I'll find something to do.

Valeria: Good, I'll be back in a few hours.

R/N: HOURS?!

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

R/N who forced a few of Valeria's men to see the barbie movie with her while Valeria was out: Wasn't that really good?

The men agreeing because they are scared of R/N and Valeria: So good!

Valeria: ...why are they all dressed in pink and holding popcorn?

R/N: We watched the barbie movie together!

Valeria: (muttering under her breath in Spanish as she waves her men to go away)

R/N pouting that they have to leave: Awe my forced friends.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

[miidnighters]

It's my birthday ! To celebrate, I wanted to put together a little shout out of people I love because it's the most surefire way to get compliments back in return (I'm kidding!). Thankyou so much for writing with me and mashing our barbies together and making this hellsite such a fun place to be.

Also, seeing how this has changed from my last shoutout at Christmastime - notably, the people I tagged as "people I love who I don't write with very much" but who now I write with or talk to every day lmao.

Please let this have tagged everyone I wanted to tag

@92328

I love u so much. U know I do. I love all the random questions u ask and ur request for Isaac Facts and the fact that you refer to Morgan as "Nora's Husband" and the way you wanna lock Flynn up in a tower to keep him a baby forever. Never change lmao.

@bloodykneestm

Bender ur characters are chefs kiss and our dynamics are chefs kiss and I get such a huge smile whenever I see u in my notifs (either here or on disco). I love the things we come up with together.

@cigarettesandcoffee

My darling! I know you're not writing a lot atm but it makes my day whenever we chat and whenever you pop up with some random love. All of our pairings are so good and I can't wait to see what we cook up for the others.

@draconisa

I know you're ALSO not writing a lot atm but Dany and Isaac have my whole heart plus everything that we're doing on the multi for everyone there like. My brain is still stuck on Harts and Vasile like. Does it get any better?

@epistrefei

HELLO. ARTEMIS. WOW. I am so in awe of the original spin you're able to put on such a well-known character - and it's not just Artemis and Billie, it's Barty and Flynn, and watching what you do with Zahrosa and so many others.

@exquisitexagony

Sami is my baby. The relationship they have with Flynn and Bella (or Bella and Arthur) and all the others is so special to me, as well as everything we have going on your other blogs (Callie and Shimi, for example? Yes).

@fangmother

Rainer is who I want to be when I grow up. If I could be half as confident and gave less fucks. I love seeing all the wild shit she gets up to and following her different relationships with people who have been in her life for varying lengths of time.

@freekzout

What can I say about the freekz? Callie and Funke's relationship is so special to me BUT also the friendships we've built? Lu and Ruth? Flynn and Ruth? Bella and the both of them? Not to mention your other blogs - Bella and Connie in particular.

@inrovina

Every relationship my characters have with Xeno is SO special. Flynn and Lake are SO special. I'm so excited for what other shenanigans they get up to and all the potential new stuff we're doing on your multi !

@kurjaks

I need to put this man in an enclosure and study him. I love him so much, and I love the careful way you've crafted him, and the truly unique way he carries and conducts himself. PLUS the way we chat ooc? Peak.

@mystiika

Every one of your muses is a darling to me. We've started creating such interesting relationships between a few of our muses in varying stages of romance or friendship and I cannot wait to do more with you.

@recitedemise

Every time I see you in my notifs I know I am getting fed the Good Shit. You have such a way with words and what we've crafted between Gale and Callie is really something special to me. Plus to varying relationships w Harts and Bella? Yes.

@sorrowsick

There is no muse of yours that I don't love down bad. We have some truly batshit stuff going on and I know that I can always come to you with the wildest ideas and we can make it work. I am truly your biggest fan.

@soulmissed

August is the only child character I write with and I think that says something bc it's hard to write a child without them being too much of a caricature and it's hard to build relationships without them being one-note but you so it SO well, so we have such beautiful ties.

@starlyht

One of the true lights of my life I adore seeing u on my dash and in my notifs. We have some great ties between our characters and I truly love seeing your thoughts on lycanthropy or drow society or whatever takes your fancy.

@stcllata

I love that every pairing we toss together just seems to Work lmao. Whatever the situation, whoever the muse, we can always put them together and come out with something good. And by good I often mean shippy but like. Who's gonna tell us no?

@tewwor

I am so in awe of your mind and your worldbuilding, and I am so lucky to be able to play in these spaces you've built. I love the relationships we've built and I love that we can throw different characters together to see what sticks.

@vitalphenomena

I say this with the UTMOST affection but this is the most messed up roster of characters I've ever seen and I adore writing with them. I adore exploring all the different facets of their characters and how my characters interact with their struggles bc they're NOT perfect.

@whileurmine

If I see a man over 30 on my dash, odds are it's you. I love your roster and I love our OOC hate sessions and I love that we can both puck up and put down starters like nothing. Whether it's something established or a new idea we can always put a pair together.

@yxkanna

I know you're ALSO not writing atm but I have to let you know how much I love you and your babies. Not just Nick but all of them. We have some really interesting dynamics both platinic and romantic and I can't wait until you're back to pick them up.

And then of course some other shoutouts of people I don't love any less but perhaps don't write with or talk to as often <3 (which should change, honestly. Come yap w me <3)

@abysswarden | @berylcluster | @bucketkicked | @byanyan

@coastercrushed | @corsey | @cragsnow | @demonstigma

@downspirals | @fvzzyelf | @godstrayed | @hegrudges

@idnull | @kxllerblond | @lcngdays | @nabaidhean-neonach

@platiinums | @pohlepen | @redemnation | @strszyga

@withbeasts | @xinxiins

[starberry-cupcake]

Hello, I haven't had time to read as much as I would want but I'm here with an update regardless, because if I don't keep these constant, I'm gonna forget things and this, so far, seems like a book in which I don't wanna forget things.

previously, in harrowbean the ninth:

this happened

currently, after "parodos" and ch. 1:

so I'm making up a timeline in my head with the information at hand

which is never straightforward

that'd be too easy, here in tlt we like to be kept on our toes

we like to be punched in the gut when we least expect it

so get ready for bad math

this would probably make our good friend palmolive atreides weep

I'm sorry palomilve's force ghost, I'm doing my best

SO

the first entry was the night of the emperor being terminated

the "parodos" bit (we'll get to that) is 14 months before the emperor is snuffed out

ch. 1 is nine months before the emperor kicks the bucket

I believe act 1 is going to be happening around that time, since ch. 2 seems to be following without another indication

because of what happens in "parodos" aka flashback, aka prologue 2: elecric bogaloo, we can attempt to estimate when the events of gideon happened

harrowbean tells ortus in the flashback that he's gonna train with aiglamene for 12 weeks

let's assume that's kind of the amount of time gideon trained, plus the time it took harrow to plot how to girlsplain, gatekeep and gaslight gideon into it

the only one girlbossing here is camilla, I don't make the rules

so, if gideon and harrow were ready to leave the ninth somewhere around 2-3 months after the flashback, it'd be circa 11 months before the events in the prologue

and ch. 1 starts 9 months before the events in the prologue

so gideon might have happened somewhere around 11-10 months before the prologue

I can't tell how long they were in canaan house (it felt like 12 years and 5 minutes at the same time) but I think about a month is mostly right, given that once bodies start dropping, things are all happening together

all of this is relative, since time in space is ????

but I need to do this for my own peace of mind

if you give me time measurements I'm gonna measure, ok?

I need to organize things

I know I will end up making a graphic at some point I just know it

this is what I get for calling palmolive a turbonerd

ANYWAY, MOVING ON

or, moving back, since we're in prologue 2: electric bogaloo aka flashback time

here we have ortus (the one we knew, not the one we will get to know, according to the characters list) telling harrow he doesn't wanna go to the field trip

this is ortus

if you're wondering why I don't nickname ortus, I'll repeat myself but "orto" means "ass" where I'm from, so that's enough to remember him by

harrow is like "I know you're underqualified but we're understaffed, so it is what it is"

the important part is that harrowbean says she sees the barbie in the freezer walking about

like a ghost or whatnot

she refers to her as "the body" and I assume that's barbie in the ice cube because someone reblogged my recap where I mentioned her and tagged

ever since then I've been wondering why she was referred to as The Body and now I'm gonna assume this is it

so harrow tells ortus he needs to hide the fact that she's mentally unstable

[non funny side note: masking is unbearable and it's awful we live in a social and cultural environment where we feel pressured to do it, especially when you're an adult having to fulfill expectations of supposedly "age-specific" activities and responsibilities, it's exhausting and I cried about that in therapy a mere week ago so, hitting hard, this bit

don't let people make you feel "less than" because the way in which you navigate the world and your experiences is different from what's expected in some theoretical socially constructed category

and fuck everyone who, in order to put people down in arguments online, ever make fun of those who aren't mentally, economically or socially as independent as what the category of an adult is supposed to be to them

argue with concepts, argue with opinions and facts, don't tear people down in the name of "moral upper hand" by telling people they're losers for needing help

side note done]

so, harrow entered the whole canaan thing not only carrying the weight of her house, her family and her entire people

she also came into it believing she's not mentally sound and seeing The Body walking around unnoticed by other people

whether or not her visions are mentally unsettled or something that actually happens because she opened the tomb, just the whole situation of her birth is enough to make anyone collapse, so we got you, harrowbean

we're here for you

and all that without mentioning what it'd be like seeing your girlfriend cavalier impale herself in front of you

I'm taking liberties with the 'girlfriend' bit but idk

so, next we know, 5 months have passed from that and harrowcita is struggling in her new environment of the clown emperor's ship

she is made to carry gideon's sword and she can't

she can't seem to know what to do or to communicate with said knowledge and she's throwing up a lot

WHICH IS GREAT!!!!!

I mean, it's not great that she's suffering

but it's GREAT because if she can't communicate with gideon's slurped soul, maybe it means gideon's soul has not been slurped AT ALL

more fuel for my wishful thinking of gideon's soul returning to her and getting regenerated and saved and being alive

I also like very much this situation in which harrow sees the sword as personified and they hate each other without gideon

it's like prim's cat in the hunger games with katniss

but with an inanimate object

I'm really liking that dynamic

is like they both miss her and can't relate to each other

ALSO barbie body ice cube is still there

just chillin' and being silently supportive, I think

not sure what her deal is but what if she's not the bad one here? because this emperor kind of sucks tbh

not in a 'he's evil' way but in a 'idk if he know what he's doing' way

I don't know about this guy tbh

so we're leaving off with harrow being mentally and physically struggling, ghost barbie roamin' the rooms, voices of people organizing stock and gideon in my head like this, walking in limbo to get back to us

also, another day without camilla

I thought I wasn't gonna have much to say and this is so long, I'm so sorry...

[ch3rryjampi3]

"Oh my good looking boy."

Trans! Katsuki x Fem! reader

This was inspired by a song called: Good Looking by Suki Waterhouse

Ever since Katsumi was a little kid, He always knew he never wanted being a girl. He hated it, he hates wearing stupid dresses, he really hates playing with stupid ugly dolls and barbies. He hates it. He hates being a girl.

He hated his whole appearance that he overcomes it by bullying others. Especially Deku. "Look at how so fucking pathetic you are shitty quirkless Deku!!" He laughed as he poured everything out his bag, dropping it in front of him. "Poor Midoriya..."

It has been a routine of his. Reflecting his struggles to others. Maybe he acts all tough and all but deep inside, he's scared or maybe pathetic. Hah!! Pathetic?! He's not pathetic!! He literally has you!! His girlfriend that loves him so much and someone he's trying to hide cuz your both....girls.

"Hey Kats!! Ya ready to go?" You asked your girlfriend as she met up with you in the hallway. "Yeah. Let's go." You both then starts to head to the gates. You invited him to a sleepover since its weekend tomorrow, also to spend time together.

You both had stopped by at his house so he could pack his belongings for the weekends,he shouldn't have since he can just borrow some of your stuffs but he's stubborn so you just let him. "Katsumi!! Your staying at Y/L/N's house again?? Ugh just be home before Sunday night okay?? My little Prince-"

"I will I will!! Shut up!!" He yelled as he slammed the door shut. The ash blonde sighed deeply as he walked besides Y/N, an arm around her shoulder. "Does your Mom and Dad okay with me always staying at your house in the weekends?"

"Yup!! They couldn't care less plus, they're mostly not at home during weekends since they're busy." He nodded. "So basically, I'm your roommate during weekends?" He asked, raising a brow. "Maybee but you love staying with me!!" You exclaimed as he softly smiled.

"Just let me do your makeup!!" "Hell no!! Get that thing away from me!!" You've been wanting to give him a makeover but he kept on resisting. You knew he disliked makeup but you wanted to give him a makeover, to make him look more handsome than he already is.

"I'll treat you tomorrow on that ramen restaurant you like!! Please?!!" You pleaded, desperately wanting to give him a makeover. "I- ugh!! Fucking Fine!!" He said giving up. He don't wanna miss the opportunity of getting free food, even tho he knows he can afford it on his own.

"Yayy!! Okay so just stay still..." Few minutes had past and your done with his makeup, you fixed his hair abit to look abit shorter and you looked at your final work with awe. "Now look Katsu..."

"Holy shit...I look so handsome." He said, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He looks like his father but with his mothers hair color and eyes. He was in awe. "You always are." You said, smiling on how happy your boyfriend is.

"One day, maybe you can tell everyone on who you really are." You said, hugging him from behind as you kissed his cheek. "My Good looking boy."

A/n: I'm sorry if its bad!! I really tried my best 😓😓 I apologize also if it's not really Trans!! But I hope you guys like it!! Reblogs are appreciated 😚💕

[shinyzango]

Just curious, opinions on the different nutcrackers that you know of from all kinds of media and stuff?

Sorry if anyone asked this before I wouldn't know

Love your art and characters by the way keep it up!

Hohohohohohohoho, we be opening the Pandora Box here. Not that I'm complaining~

So, this is going to be a very long post as I've seen a lot of the movies. I also have a couple books which I can give my opinion, and I'm familiar with various apparitions in videogames and such. So yeah this is going to be a loooooooong post.

So buckle up, grab a drink and enjoy the ride into my personal madness o7

[ CAREFUL, VERY LONG POST UNDER THE CUT ]

So, let's start with movies as those are easier to grab and talk about for me. I'm gonna go with their year of release ot keep things organized.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Shchelkunchik (1973)

Small silly dramatic guy, I like him! The animators did a great job animating his design and make him incredibly appealing. As for his human appearance, eeeeeh I don't really care for him. Definitely a shock the first time you see it lol But yes, adorable silly guy

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Nutcracker Fantasy (1979)

Li'l guy. It is Sanrio so it's bound to be on the cute side. The Nutcracker itself doesn't do much in the movie, but as for Fritz himself, I... honestly don't care about him. He looks pretty, but personality wise he needs to work on it pff Idk he just comes out as plain and a little arrogant... Still a fine fellow, though.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Nutcracker: The Motion Picture (1986)

One of the two ballet-based movies I've seen, and definitely the better one of the two imo. And good lord I love this guy. He may look terrifying but good lord if he's silly. And I actually don't mind his human appearance as simple as it is. Silly man, this one.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The Nutcracker Prince (1990)

HIM. MY BELOVED. THE GOOD LAD. Definitely my favorite, and not because this was my most beloved childhood movie. He is such a sweetheart with a hint of awkwardness but who can still kick your ass. And the final scene in the castle in the Italian dub is just *chef kiss* 10/10 lad.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The Nutcracker (1993)

The other ballet-based movie... it's just Macaulay Culkin. And his nutcracker costume looks hideous lol. Nothign to say. Surprisingly, he's not the worst one.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The Nuttiest Nutcracker (1999)

Ripoff Ken. He is incredibly dumb, and a tiny bit of a freak, but could be worse honestly kdjng They did Barbie before Barbie did it lol that's p much it.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Barbie in the Nutcracker (2001)

THE OTHER GOOD LAD. I love Eric so much he's such a sweetheart wanting to fix his mistakes. It's so easy to root for him. As for his human appearance... he's just Ken skjngf 10/10 lad #2

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The Nutcracker and the MouseKing (2004)

Oh boy what to say about this one. Very hateful in the first half. At least he learns and becomes bearable at the last third of the movie. But I do like the nutcracker form, they made the blocky design work as well, like later on it's actually very nice to see him move. Still, horrible personality. Needs a slap in the face.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Nutcracker in 3D / Nutcracker: The Untold Story (2010)

Hellspawn. Nightmare fuel. Abomination. Who the hell approved to that design?? And why did they pitch up his voice like that?? At least the kid playing human NC is not as bad, but good lord. 0/10 Just burn that puppet with fire, please.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018)

This one just pisses me off. This one had so much potential, and the actor is actually good. It's just the way his character was written that is dog awful. They made him basically a dumb side character who barely does anything despite everyone in the movie treating him like he's a big shot. And the the fact that this was made by Disney just makes this worse. Just so much lost potential.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The Nutcracker (???)

I actually don't know who made this movie or in which year, but I do like this one. The movie is comedic so he's a bit silly, but he's still quite enjoyable. And for some reason he reminds me of Waluigi.... Still, silly guy.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

That's all for the movies. There are a bunch more that I've missed or that I can't find anymore so my list of opinions on them is not complete. But one day...

---

As for other medias, hm... I have a couple books that are just the original story by Hoffman and the retell by Duman (of which I don't have much to say) and the graphic novel by Natalie Andrewson.

He's just a li'l guy, silly kid but enjoyable.

---

Lastly, while there are no actual nutcracker based games, I do want to mention a few skins and characters I am aware of for the hell of it. I'm pretty sure I will be forgetting some but eh.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Terraria

Silly guy that speeeens. I wish I didn't have to kill them skgjfn.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Overwatch

As much as I now despise Overwatch for many reasons, I still love Zenyatta's nutcracker skin to death. Look at this silly guy. Definitely my favorite skin in the game.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Saints Row IV

SR4 had a Christmas themed DLC, and among all the xmas reskins of the enemies, one was the terminator-like enemies being turned into Nutcrackers. And their design look so sick.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Fortnite

I don't play Fortnite, but I do have to admit that the nutcracker guy looks neat. The crazy look fits the look quite well. If I would ever get in there (I doubt it but still), that would definitely be the skin I would use.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Lethal Company

I don't play LC neither but I've seen videos of the nutcracker enemy in action, and yeah he looks silly. I love how he moves around.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

That's all of the apparitions that I can think of. I'm also aware of the point-and-click game made by Big Fish Games, but I have not played it myself. I really should do that one day...

---

Aaaaaand that's a wrap. I'm definitely forgetting a nutboi or two somewhere but these are all the ones I can think of at the top of my head that are officially published and all.

If we start talking about folks in social medias I've come to know over the years... I'm gonna be here for 3 months trying to talk about them dkjfgn

Well, hope you enjoyed this personal spiraling into nut madness :V

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

hi! i love your hcs for ken!! can you do hcs about what ken would be like if i got sick/if the reader got sick?

Awe thank you!

Note: Both are humans in this (with Ken's transition to humanity being very recent, like a few days in)

......

Ken has been to Doctor Barbie for injuries, although he's never been sick.

He's seen other dolls go to her for colds, stomach aches, etc. and they're "healed" right away (ie "in the time it took for me to say that sentence, you're already cured!").

After he goes to live with you in the Real World permanently and becomes human himself, he's been contemplating mortality and discovers that sickness is dealt with differently here, both of which stress him out.

He tries not to bother you about these thoughts, however....

Until one morning he wakes up to see your side of the bed empty, finding you in the kitchen wearing a mask and looking rather lethargic.

He's confused and pouts that you didn't give him the usual good morning kisses, wondering if he did something wrong.

"Are you feeling okay, babe? And what's with the mask?"

"Oh, it's just so I don't sneeze over everything, Ken.." You answer with a stuffy nose and sore throat.

"...what do you mean? Why do you sound like that?"

"I caught a cold at work, and-"

"Wait, you're sick?!!!" His eyes go HUGE and he's very much panic-striken, insisting you go see the doctor.

"I'm fine, honey. I just need to rest-"

"No!! We need to go right now!! Where are your car keys???? I'll drive us!"

"Ken. You don't have a license. I promise it's just a simple little cold.....if you don't believe me, you can Google it."

He takes your words seriously and searches up symptoms and causes of the common cold..

However, he goes a bit too far down the Internet rabbit hole, and now he's fully convinced that you're gonna die if you don't see a doctor.

He just starts crying, clinging to you like it's your last day on earth, and his anxieties over human mortality eventually spill out as you hold him.

Obviously, asking him to keep his distance from you was impossible at this point.

He's a mess, but fortunately you're able to stop his blubbering, explaining that a common cold isn't going to kill you, and that you have remedies here at home to treat it.

Once Ken calms down enough to listen, he'll retrieve whatever you needed. Medicine, tissues, pills, pillows, etc. Anything to make you feel comfortable.

Throughout the day he asks if you're absolutely sure you don't need to see a doctor.

He can and will cuddle with you despite your initial protests, nuzzling into your chest as you're laying on the couch/bed together.

"Can I kiss you? Please?"

"...Ken, I don't want you to get sick, too." You shake your head, feeling guilty when you see his puppy-dog eyes staring up at you. "I promise you don't wanna feel this way-"

"But I wanna share in your suffering." He insists. "If I'm gonna be human for the rest of my life, I might as well experience this at least once."

You eventually give in and pull your mask down, allowing him to kiss you as he pleased.

Spoiler: Ken gets a cold a few days later and whines about it the entire time, but you help him through it. Just as he helped you.

He still thinks it's worth it.

[ahoppingmagician]

Yo another Helluva Boss Rant, Part Five thousand.

People are really out here saying we can't watch Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel as if they are some holy artefact. This may sound harsh but fuck off with that bullshit. Any show, movie, comic, and artist can be criticised for anything, yes some criticism is unhelpful I'll give you that, but at the end of the day, people can give their opinion on anything. Also, hate watching is a thing, a great example would be watching a bad movie because you love how horrible it is for example The Room, The Twilight movies, The 50 Shades of Grey Movies, or Any Disney Live Action Remake. All of these are absolute trash heaps but most people watch them over and over again because it's something to laugh at for a good while.

Vivzipop is a horrible person.

I might be harassed for a while but it needs to be said Viv is a horrible employer and person. She pays her animation staff dirt for all the hours they slave away on her intricate character designs, the fast paced action scenes, the more "heartfelt" scenes only to get low pay. Also her stopping her employees from finding better work like Lackadaisy, as we seen with the discord chat where an animator was explained to that Viv called them words like manic, insane, crazy just so they could find no other opportunities forcing them to stay with her. That isn't how you treat anyone, and if you think differently then I'm sorry to break it to you you're a bad person.

Of course the ableism, look as someone who has been called the R word multiple times in my life, I'm not offended by it being used in an adult show but only if you make it clear that it is a harmful word, unlike Viv who constantly teases the word as if it's funny to say, but like the coward she is never says it. JUST SAY IT AND BE DONE WITH IT. Yes I'll bust your balls about it but atleast it proves to me that you have some gumption.

I'm not a POC I'm far from it but I feel like this show can give people the wrong idea about women of colour. For Example, Millie is a bloodthirsty and adoring wife, but that's it she doesn't appear unless her husband is around or even does anything without Moxxie's approval. Also, it paints her as aggressive which is a common stereotype of black women. Verosika is a bitter ex of Blitzo and nothing more, wait I forgot a woman who enjoys sex. Now there is nothing wrong with sex or sex workers but again at this time that is all she is in the show and of course a discussion can be held about the objectification of POC in a sexual manner. Also Barbie....who is a fucking groomer and addict. These are three Canon Women of Colour and that's what we got, in my opinion not a good enough representation, because all these female characters are one note and objectively horrible people, also all are painted as angry and all of them have had at least two comments about their sex lives.

If these don't prove that Vivien M is not atleast a a ignorant person or at worst a awful human being then I can't explain to you anything, because your just choosing to be blind to reality.

As always you look great today/ tonight. l, have a wonderful day/night, and praise the frog lord.

[isonachiumbu0]

What fans don't realize is that "what was i made for" by billie eilish is a 2018 hamato yoshi song. It fits him to perfection!!! Yoshi was depressed and traumatized to hell in back in the battle nexus. He's being exploited constantly by big mama and generally is in an awful place mentally, emotionally, and physically

I used to float, now i just fall down

Yoshi used to be happy as an actor and while he still had issues, he was overall content, especially while dating big mama. Now he resents his lack of freedom and current life

I used to know, but i'm not sure now what i was made for. What was i made for?

This is yoshi's lifelong crisis!!! He's been raised to believe that he's a hamato and needs to be engrossed in the hamato clan and a savior for the world, to deny his own ambition and joy for the sake of the clan and by extension, the globe. Yoshi then became a famous actor to fulfill himself. Then, he was forced to be a battle nexus contestant and told that he was meant to be making money and entertaining that way. One could even go on to when he was mutated and took on the role of a father to four mutants, which was way different than anything else he had been. With him being forced into positions to take on different life paths, it's unclear to yoshi what he was made for at this point because it seems that no one can agree. He's having an existential crisis, poor guy. Was yoshi born to be a hamato ninja? Was he born to be a film star? Was he born to be a trafficking victim? Was he born to be a mutant rat father? WHO KNOWS ANYMORE, not yoshi

Takin' a drive, i was an ideal. Looked so alive. Turns out i'm not real, just something you paid for

THESE LYRICS!!! ARE SO YOSHI CORE!!! He was an idol in the film industry, an a-lister, someone to admire and a beloved pop culture icon. He still is even as a battle nexus contestant. However, yoshi is dehumanized by so many around him, big mama, his fanbase (his yōkai fanbase in particular), draxum, and is literally objectified, turned into a toy for others to use to their own end, to make money off him, to bolster their own fame, to empower a mutant army. The "turns out i'm not real" lyric doubly works because yoshi's a fictional character (but that's news to him)

When did it end? All the enjoyment

The battle nexus ruined any passion he had for fighting. as an actor, it was all fake and he was treated with care, in the battle nexus, it's all too real and his life is put on the line each match

I'm sad again. Don't tell my boyfriend. It's not what he's made for. What was i made for?

Yoshi is incredibly depressed about his hardships and current positions as an abductee. He can't rely on big mama for emotional support like he used to because, well, she has literally kidnapped him and is the one gleefully inflicting pain on him. It's not what big mama's made for and yoshi realizes that now. It bums him tf out. At one point, he thought she was perfect for that, but she's way too obsessed with power and profit

The lyrics i skipped are pretty obvious, i mean, i think they're all quite clear when tying the song to yoshi's story, but to breeze through it, yoshi's basically joyless, he wants to be joyful and maybe his sons and new family can help drag him out of his pain

Funnily enough, the song "barbie dreams" by fifty fifty from the very same album as "what was i made for" suits yoshi perfectly, too (pre-battle nexus). ALSO FROM THE SAME ALBUM is "dance the night" by dua lipa, which fits him as well!!! in "dance the night" Yoshi's struggling with the stress of being an asian actor in the 80s and the stress of his family. but heyyy, look how at how he stuns on the dance floorrrr even though he wants cryyy :D the song spectrum of yoshi having a good time from great time to meh time to terrible time: barbie dreams -> dance the night -> what was i made for

[thebestofoneshots]

✩ Star

hey luvv!! can i please request a romantic matchup for marauders era :) ? you don't have to rush it, take your time in writing! 🪽💕🌸🤍

i'm a capricorn, infp, and an asexual sapphic. though i don't mind being matched up with a man because i'm sapphic and not lesbian :) maybe you can match me both with a girl and a boy hehehh

i'm 173 cm, i have brown long hair (with bangs) and brown eyes. i love doing skincare/just taking care of my body. i love the colour pink! i'm quite girly and feminine. my clothing style is basically this fashion brand called ozlana. i love wearing pearl jewelleries. i feel prettiest when i do my hair well. i also love barbie fashion! i'd love to be a fashion designer and have my own fashion boutique one day.

i'm a good listener and i can understand people well. i consider myself as open minded. i'm a huge feminist (gender equality and really just social equality in general 🫶) and i resent people that makes fun of others for being excited over something they love. i love reading (preferably english classics). i love the wizard of oz a lot. i would love someone who respects women and a gentleman.

i consider myself as quite smart :) (don't wanna be too self indulgent tho). my hobbies are reading, stargazing, and making dresses/clothing. i love plants and flowers <3 i also love fruits! my favs are strawberry, grapes, and blueberry. i enjoy baking too! love making french desserts recipes. i'm scared of being a failure. my biggest fear actually. so i tend to push myself as hard as i can to ace what i want.

i think that's all!! don't wanna make this too long. if you don't want to write this then i totally understand 🌸🤍💕🪽🫧

If you want to participate in "TBOS' 400 Followers Celebration" too, you can look at this post for all the options of prompts you can choose form &lt;3

☆ Star: send a short description of yourself and I’ll tell you who I ship you with!

Chasing Butterflies

Pairing: James x Lily x reader Prompt: The story of how you ended up dating James and Lily. Word count: 1.5 k Warnings: None, (bit angsty / what feels like unrequited love but actually isn't).

Hey beatiful! I ship you with Lily and James! The first time you saw Lily, you thought she was the prettiest girl you’d seen in the world. She was wearing this beautiful flowery pink dress and looked so in awe of everything around her that you couldn't help but stare. Having been born into a magical family, it was interesting to see it from a different perspective. You were just about to approach her when she said hi to a disagreeable-looking boy that stared down at you as you took a step forward, which deterred you from doing so. Instead, you scurried away inside the train. That’s where you met James Potter and Peter Petegrew.

James was a very well-spoken boy who saw you wandering the train by yourself and invited you to sit along with him and his friend. He had been the one to introduce you to Peter and had also bought a bunch of treats for everyone once the Trolley Witch came around. James had been so nice to you that day that you felt like a princess. When both of you were put in the same house, you became close. James was always really, really nice to you, and you liked that about him, especially compared to the way his friends treated you - Sirius always trying to flirt and Peter being so awkward all the time. You also became close with Remus, and he would lend some of his muggle books, and you would borrow some magical ones to him. It became a habit, and Sirius would call you both nerds for it. You didn’t mind it all that much; you knew it was all playful banter.

In 5th year, when you discovered your passion for making clothes, the first person you told was Lily. You politely asked her if you could design a dress for her, and she felt honored. Once you handed her the dress, she instantly put it on, and it fit her like a glove. That weekend, when you went to Hogsmeade, she wore the dress, and even though you thought she looked absolutely lovely, you couldn’t help but feel a pit in your stomach whenever you realized people were staring at her. It was as if you didn’t want them to look, and their staring was affecting you somehow.

“That sounds an awful lot like jealousy to me,” Remus had told you. You gasped in that moment, but the more you thought about it, the more it made sense. Maybe you didn’t just like Lily as a friend. Maybe you liked, like her. Romantically liked her. And it made you feel miserable because you were very aware, like pretty much the entire school, that James was absolutely hung up on her.

At Marlenes’s party, organized by Mary a year later, someone had the brilliant idea of playing spin the bottle. When Lily had to kiss Marlene, she didn’t budge, which made you both jealous but also a little curious. Could that mean Lily was interested in girls too?

You, in turn, had to kiss James, and even if he was your friend, you had to admit he was a really good kisser. You were both panting a little when you separated and awkwardly went back to your places in the circle. From that day on, James stuck to you like gum, following you around and carrying your books and bag a lot more often than he did before. And even if you appreciated how nice he was, making you feel like a princess again, you were also bothered because you felt like you were his second choice, his consolation prize after he gave up on chasing after Lily.

“I’m not a pity prize, James!” You told him one day as he tried to hold your hand.

He looked at you, hurt in his face. “I’d never see you as one, kitten. I thought you knew.”

You looked at him taken aback. “What about Lily?”

He averted your gaze. “She… She’s like a star. Unreachable.”

“And I am within reach, right?” You continued, a little angry still.

“That’s not what I…”

“James, I like her too!” You somehow blurted out.

He looked at you in shock, eyes wide open as you told him the truth. “You like–" he started, confused "–like I do?”

You looked to the side and nodded. “Yes! Like you do.”

“And you don’t like boys like that?”

“I… I wouldn’t say that either…”

“Then what’s the issue?” He said, reaching for your hand again. You stared at him with a frown, thinking of pulling your hand away. But his hand was warm, and just as James always did, it made you feel nice too.

Both you and James started to spend a lot more time together since then. People would find him sitting beside you at dinner and in some classes. He made sure to always keep some kind of contact with you, whether it was holding your hand, having his arm over your shoulder, or a hand on your waist. You actually grew to like it; you felt appreciated and loved. Maybe you really weren’t a second choice to him, maybe he really had chosen you over Lily.

But then it was Halloween, and somehow you convinced him to dress as Ken while you'd dress up as Barbie. You designed both of your outfits, and he even hung out with you while you were sewing and adding beads and glitter to both of your costumes. Even Peter was helping you with the costumes, since you’d promised to help him with his. You were all sitting in the common room, and you were on the floor, sitting between James’ legs and resting your head on his chest as you sewed some details onto a coat when Lily walked in.

You smiled and waved at her, but she just looked at the two of you, looking hurt, and stormed out. “What’s with her?” Peter asked with a shrug. You and James looked at each other with a frown and nodded, both getting up and chasing after her.

“Lily!” You shouted as she picked up the pace.

“I’ll take a short cut,” James told you. “We’ll intercept her.”

Soon enough, James was blocking Lily from the front, and you stopped her from behind. “Hey! Lils, stop running, will you?” You told her, breath a little ragged, as she tried to walk past you. Her eyes started to water, and you looked at her concerned, placing both hands on her shoulders. “Hey love, what’s wrong?” You asked.

She started to cry then, and your heart broke. Whatever you had done, you were sure to never ever do it again; you could not bear to see her cry. James looked as mortified as you did.

“Evans,” he said, not daring to place a hand on her, like you already had. “What’s wrong, darling?” He asked softly.

“I… I don’t know… I…” She started between sobs. “I just, I suddenly felt so angry at the two of you being together like that. I just… I didn’t…. I’m an asshole.” She said as she placed her hands over her face to hide it from the two of you.

Realization hit you like a truck. “You like James,” you said dryly. James looked shocked at the two of you. “You’re jealous.” You said with a bitter laugh. “I’ll leave you to talk,” you said as you started to leave.

Lily finally raised her head from her hand and shook her head, you couldn't be more wrong. She grabbed your arm. "I wasn't jealous of you!" You turned surprised. "I wanted to be James!" You looked at the two of them, shocked. James looked so confused in that moment; if it hadn't been for the situation, you would've loved to capture that expression in a picture. "Or rather, there, like… in between the two."

You looked at her even more shocked. "Does that mean you like… both me and–"

"–Me?" James finished.

Lily just looked at the two of you in desperation. "See? I AM an asshole!"

You shook your head and exchanged a glance with James. He nodded, and the two of you embraced Lily in a tight hug. You buried your head on Lily’s shoulder, relishing in the smell of her signature lavender perfume, while James wrapped his long arms around the two of you, drawing you both towards his chest. From that moment on, the three of you somehow started dating each other. Lily was the perfect companion; she understood and related to all of your girly needs, gifting you a pearl necklace on your birthday and wearing all the dresses you made for her. James always cared for the two of you like you were goddesses, giving you the best cuddles in the world and enjoying all the desserts you prepared for him. He was absolutely obsessed with the way you baked. You were so happy together; you almost couldn’t believe it was real. But it was, and it was beautiful.

A/N: Hey sweetie! I really hope you enjoy this little ship (it totally got out hand and ended up being a mini ficlet, but I hope you like it); also I really hope all the cuddling doesn't bother you &lt;3

Much Love, Lilly xx

[cboffshore]

No idea if this has been mentioned before , but i reread the OSSAS series and why do i kinda feel like some of the non-prisoner-related stuff nadakhan does to Nya ( not defending his creepy behavior or anything) are things Delara possibly used to enjoy ?

Nadakhan slightly playing with Nya's hair ? Delara liked it when he played with hers. The two playing chess over some mulled wine ? Well there aren't many restaurants aboard the Keep so that could very much have been their favorite way to have a date . Just him reeeeeeeally pushing Delara into Nya before she even knows what's actually going to happen ...

If you were at some point hinting of that in the series , i really apologise for not getting the cue ! #autism

Btw so excited for next chapter of " Witness For The Solitary Host" :D your works are amazing

Good catch - that was definitely intentional. I actually have never rambled about that pattern before, so I've been wondering if I pulled it off well enough for people to catch on. Looks like I did! That's great! (I'm putting the rest under the cut to save dash space!)

It kind of plays into a longer pattern I have in OSSAS about Nadakhan trying to pre-mold Nya into Delara - not even by trying to get her used to those things, but sort of by trying to convince himself that he's got some part of Delara back before he actually does. He knows Nya's not her, but, like.... if the lights are dim enough, or she's asleep or not glaring at him head-on, or she's doing something close enough to what Delara used to do, it's easy enough to pretend he's already won for a few seconds. Just enough to keep him going, really. (Sidenote: there's a song on the playlist with the line "There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you paid for" - that's on the playlist specifically for this stuff.)

I should admit I wasn't working from the "things Delara used to like" angle - I was more on the "how Delara used to behave" track - but the idea of him intentionally resurrecting these sentimental activities definitely works with the themes of the series, too! On some level, he's absolutely working out of habit (re: the hair touching), so viewing the chess night as something she used to enjoy is a totally valid interpretation.

One thing that's always annoyed me a little about Skybound is this really weird idea that Nadakhan targets Nya because he thinks she's just Delara reincarnate. This is true at the start of the season, but by episode 60 (where he actually refers to Nya by name when speaking to Jay) it's VERY obvious that he's figured out his initial reincarnation idea was off the mark. A lot of fanfiction I've read over the years misses that development, which kind of skews the whole thing and turns it into more of the "I know you're in there and I'm going to break you out and help you get your memories back" stereotype. I didn't want to work with that angle, both because it's just flat out wrong and also because I have seen it SO MUCH and I'm tired. (Which explains most of the motive for writing this series, really - trying to skirt all the trends and seeing what I can wring out.)

Nadakhan's whole thing is taking existing materials and sculpting them into his ideals - which, in my opinion, plays VERY nicely with the "I know Nya's not 100% what I'm looking for but she'll make a good enough starting point" that we get canonically. I really tried to play that up throughout OSSAS, and I'm glad it came through!

Also - glad to hear you enjoyed Witness! The next chapters aren't due til later this year for reasons I can't spoil yet, but I'm very excited to get working on it, because this time I get to examine how Nadakhan behaves when he has what he thinks is 100% Delara. I won't give too much away, but.... it's going to be so fun. He's going to have an awful time. I'm so ready to run this guy over with a Barbie jeep.

Thanks for the ask!!

[queen-erika-the-songful]

How do you feel about the Barbie shows and specials of the current Netflix era?

I'm just...so over it all now.

I mean, I've got more of an appreciation for Dolphin Magic now, but I am exhausted with this universe. Barbie isn't allowed to age or have a real backbone, the songs aren't really interesting now, and so much of the writing just isn't very good.

This universe could've been something really good. It was supposed to be connected to the truly great down-to-earth Barbie vlogs and if it had actually gone in that direction, it would've been awesome. Barbie in the vlogs was really like a normal, relatable teenager. She talked about school things, made little crafts just to do it, and even discussed more mature topics like depression or the "sorry reflex" in girls. But no, the DA-verse got turned into "let's just do every trendy thing and keep the kids occupied with bright colors". And then the vlogs (when they were still doing them) became more like that and less like what they used to be. I mean sometimes they went back to some of those more mature topics like racism or feeling down, but if I'm remembering right it wasn't really as often. I'll have to go back and watch them all again though because I want to give them at least the benefit of the doubt.

Anyway, going back to the DA-verse itself, I struggle to get through any of the shows or movies. Chelsea movie: obnoxiously bright colors and it was all a dream anyway. Mermaid movie: awful worldbuilding and major continuity errors. Skipper movie: 1hr of constantly watching small children in peril while older children freak out. Stacie movie: literally so boring. And this Touch of Magic series is just downright annoying half the time.

I kind of enjoyed It Takes Two from time to time (though it needed more Ken) but in the end I can barely even remember what happened.

Epic Road Trip was probably my favorite thing to happen in this verse as of now just because they finally gave us Barbie x Ken. HOWEVER it's not even canon! It's a freaking choose-your-own-adventure game! I am SICK and TIRED of all the Karbie baiting!!!! JUST LET THEM BE A THING!!!

[wrathoftheegods]

(ooc: murderous barbie is APPROACHING. /hj also SO sorry if its like, long and stuff I got carried away :skull:)

While Scott was out doing... Er, whatever he normally does, an opossum suddenly comes RUNNING by, holding a shiny pink bracelet, a loud yell following soon after.

 ೃ⁀➷ ❜ NO!!!!!!! MY BRACELET!!!!! GIVE IT BACK!!!!! COME BACK HERE PLEASE!!!!!! ❛

Footsteps were then heard, another pink blur rapidly approaching to chase after the opossum. It was a determined girl, around mid twenties with blonde and purple dyed hair... And a pink outfit. I mean a LOT of pink. Like I said before, murderous barbie. Her eyes were dead set on that stupid critter that stole her bracelet before- SHOOT! She accidentally ran STRAIGHT into Scott, stopping herself in her pursuit for that bracelet then quickly taking a few steps back.

She held up her hands in a makeshift defense, wincing. Aw man... No more bracelet. ...And dignity. It's over for her. After, she took that moment to catch her breath AND recompose herself after that whole crash, she rubbed her face and IMMEDIATELY went to exclaiming apologies and explanations as to why she even ran straight into him.

 ೃ⁀➷ ❜ Crap! Hey, sorry! SOSOSOSOSOSO sorry! I got my stupid bracelet stolen by an opossum then I was trying to get it then I ran into you and- Ohhhh my god I'm sosososososososo SOSOSOSOSOSOSO sorry sososo sorry, goodness. Are you okay? I didn't like, hurt you by running into you did I? ❛

The girl looked concerned... And to be honest, absolutely MORTIFIED she even ran into him. Good lord. She felt SO bad.

~ @screamingqueenxoxo

Yo, watch it skank! Wait, what the fu-

Scott looks around, honestly wondering where the girl might be. He looked down, just awkwardly standing near an obviously disheveled woman. He feels kind of bad now, especially since he just called her a skank. He could've said worse, but that's all that his mouth would let him blurt out at the moment. He was pretty high, not gonna lie to you guys.

Shit.. Uhh.. Fuck, my bad. Didn't see you comin’, you obviously didn't either, hah.

Scott joked. He always usually did this, especially when he didn't know what to say, but he yearned to say something. Even if it was just a little noise like "BLEP". He just liked talking, he was a true yapper at heart. Nothing, and nobody, can take that away from him. It was actually surprising to see Scott genuinely apologize. She just caught him at a good time, thankfully.

As Scott continued to speak, his tongue piercing at the very tip of it, was visible. It was just a little black rounded jewel, nothing too serious. But most of all? Nothing too expensive. Scott didn't have that type of money, nope. Not at all. Scott did happen to have quite a bit of piercing on him though, which weren't as costly as they seem. Scott was wearing baggy dark jeans, multiple chunky silver rings, a silver chain, a regular black T-shirt with the text "WRATH OF THE GODS" and an image of an angel, plastered onto him. Yeah, he wore his merch a shit ton, so what? Who's gonna stop him? It's free shit, who is he to say no? He also had white stud earrings in. He always thought studs were just another word for "Boy Earrings" , if we're being honest.

I'm fine doll, honestly. You barely even touched me, it's fine. It's not like I'm dead, or at least I hope not.

Scott joked again. He said "Doll" a lot, mainly to refer to females. He also just called them "Girl" or "Chick" a lot. Thad had seemed to get extra lucky this time around.

[starberry-cupcake]

GUESS WHO'S BACK IN THE HOUSE???

I don't know how frequent these will be but I'm gonna try to pick this back up now that, at the very least, I am done with having to read stuff for mandatory academic reasons.

But before I go back and start over with chapter 33, I'm going to do a little recap of where I think everyone was when I left them, as far as my own notes and my memory allow. I'm probably going to make less sense than before now that I had a 5 month hiatus and I'll probably guess even less of what's going on, but such is life.

This character recap should be read with this song in your head because that's the energy I picture.

she's going through it

doesn't remember shit

thinks ortus was her cavalier

is constantly targeted by alleged gideon aka ortus the first

who actually also told her how to defend herself from him (them? he said "us") (use blood, not bones, of course)

is seen as "lyctor lite" because her cavalier slurping thing "didn't work"

(we think this might be good because of gideon reasons)

improved her necro abilities to "make up" for it

can't really hold the sword

everyone expects her to die

I think she's stronger than they think and that's their mistake

sent letters to herself that she hasn't yet fully read

like I made these recaps that now I'm re-reading, life parallels

gave yandere twin her arm back with necro sex or something

is dealing with an inner chad who is as difficult in death as in life

misses her sister who she thinks is still alive

I also think she's alive

got a new arm through necro sex or something

is kinky as well as yandere

thinks too highly of augustine

wants to be a good lyctor

has issues with her self-perception because she was always the ignored twin, even if she had the necro abilities

sleeps in a room with a lot of nudes

wanted to kiss harrow but was rejected (the second time, the first time was some harrow conspiracy theory thing)

I hate this guy

is very bad at his job

or very good, if his job is to be awful

supposedly he's gonna be killed, but so far no results on that front

had a thing with ice cube barbie aka AL aka annabel lee, allegedly

undetermined what kind of "thing" that was

gets into orgies with his lyctors, apparently

is always reading stuff

has created a system to destroy planets and their energy

this has brought them issues

who would have thought

there are now energy things that are wanting to destroy them

they killed some but have, I believe, 3 still trailing them

claims that what they did was a good thing

doesn't take responsibility for things that are clearly his fault

isn't disturbed by harrow's origin story of baby blending in a necro magic bullet to make her

probably because he has committed genocide himself

is also being hated on by a bunch of rebels whose leader disappeared about 20 years prior

my running theory is that gideon's mom might be related to that

aka Senior Chad

don't like this guy

he's training yandere twin, if we can call it that

dislikes mercygirl a lot but isn't above getting dirty with her and the emperor

you can't convince me there weren't other ways they could have distracted him, but he went for that, so

wanted to help kill alleged gideon aka ortus the first

thinks too highly of himself

explains things in a convoluted way

is treated very poorly

can help people with wounds

thinks harrowcita is very smol and always claims her to be younger than the last time

was involved in the plan of getting emperor reverend doctor john Distracted with Capital D to get alleged gideon aka ortus the first killed

idk how much she knew of the plan before getting into it tbh there wasn't a lot of discussion prior

insists she's not moving not!dulcinea

argues with people all the time

his name is up for debate at this point but I'm sure it's actually gideon

may or may not be involved in things beyond the planet situation

seems to be sort of possessed or something because, in a moment of maybe lucidity or not wanted to protect harrowcita from "us"

maybe he's not the kind one, maybe it's his cavalier, but idk

is probably who the note in book 1 was referring to

wants to kill harrow to protect the emperor, apparently

was about to be killed by not!dulcinea (who doesn't get a section but is STILL wreaking havoc because nobody listens to me)

harrowcita saved his life like in toy story 3 with the incinerator

was seen doing Stuff with not!dulcinea prior to this

emperor john alluded that he may be aroace though

we stan him for that

doesn't get along with the rest

also we stan him for that

has been trying to kill harrowcita the whole time

we don't stan him for that

aka AL aka annabel lee, I think

it wasn't stated but that's what I'm going for

is the body that was in the locked tomb that harrowcita saw

but now is haunting harrow and going around with her but only she can see and hear her

her eyes though are like gideon's maybe

harrow claims to love her

she's also present in the gideon-less past we keep seeing as well

we don't know much about her but if the emperor imprisoned her, we're on her side

canaan house but with a lot of events differently set

starting with gideon not existing and ortus being harrow's cav

ortus is also in a polycule with the fifth

dulcinea is the real one in this one and protozoa is alive

regina george twin was pushed to her "death???" by mayonneise uncle, before he also threw himself

palmolive and camilla are dead in this one

the second house has 1 alive and 1 dead

abigail seems to know a lot of stuff

maybe hadn't she died immediately, book 1 would have been shorter

everyone keeps saying "is this how it happened?"

IT'S NOT

harrow reads a note only she can see that keeps getting longer about someone ranting to some guy and there's a potential triangle situation going on and also eggs

I'm thinking it might be a fertility thing but idk

there's a waker/sleeper that behaves like a slasher villain

it's hidden in a coffin nobody can open and kills with a rifle

it also has a gideon-like sword?

not sure how this connects with what's going on in the emperor's bolthole because not!dulcinea doesn't exist in this one, apparently

even though camilla is very much alive and slaying and palmolive is currently a skull in a bag, I'll leave that for the next recap once I've caught up with the entire chapter