#i'm gonna regret saying this
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
ok but which is the TRUTH
i know that the anniversary covers imply the first option but i'm conflicted
#i'm alive!#tbh#they honestly both feel like blue's đ#AND YOU KNOW WHAT#THAT'S FINE#ADAM GETS SO MUCH LOVE AND ATTENTION THROUGHOUT THE SERIES#wow i sound like a jealous sibling#i'm sorry blue is my babygirl#(second to gansey--number 1 babygirl)#i'm gonna regret saying this#no one dox me pls x#the raven boys#trb#blue lily#blue lily lily blue#bllb#trc#the raven cycle#adam parrish#blue sargent
13 notes
¡
View notes
Text
taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.
#let the record show i think love was there. do I personally perceive it as romantic / sexual? no.#mythal's perception of love & care is warped in and of itself#i think they loved each other. but she loved what she could take from him and what he could give in terms of service#not because she was romantically into him#also i wish we knew more about her & elgar'nan. her regret prison form says she holds no love for him anymore#and it makes me wonder when that love soured. was it when she was blighted? before that? was that love also born of duty and companionship?#this is the last post i'm gonna make ab this i think#bc i believe people are too caught up in the modern western ideas of love as thing we give solely to our romantic partners#and we literally have a character go âour perception is warped bc of the age we live inâ and some of you are still being purposefully obtuse#and i think trick saying it's up to interpretation is basically admitting EA had them dumb down the game anyway#if everything ab the rise and fall of the evanuris in game#was condensed to five 2min cutscenes it says enough that whatever the writers wanted#was swiftly cut down by corporate dept. basically saying it's in the fans' court now#also bc it's an easy cop out around new players & non solasmancers who are indifferent ab him / dislike him#as a way to appeal thru a more sympathetic lense of look!! he loved and was led astray#not to mention the clear justinia / leliana parallels#and leliana gets angry if you imply she was romantically involved / in love w justinia#and the romance descr when you remake your inq saying the dread wolf could not predict what it would mean to fall IN LOVE#implying he had never fallen in love before or at the very least experienced a romantic love#also him saying drinking from the well would make you a slave and he gets really upset#yet ive seen takes of âhes doing this for her cus he dgaf ab lavellanâ ?? he got mythal killed when he told her ab the blight#whatever feelings of admiration he had for her have rotted. he is literally burdened by his mistakes and his choice in joining her#i feel like if i were a spirit bound and twisted into a weapon i would need my creator to tell me i am Free. i would need that closure#like when cole says its not abuse to bind him if he asks and solas said thats not always true???#if you perceive her interaction w him in vg third act as#anything more than the way justinia released leliana in inq then im sorry maybe youre just obtuse#solavellan#mythal#dragon age meta
179 notes
¡
View notes
Text
What the fuck did Horikoshi say to Studio Bones, Nobuhiko Okamoto and Daiki Yamashita for them to fanfic out the canon-
I'm enjoying it don't get me wrong but sometimes I have to remind myself BNHA is more thought out than most shonen what do you mean emotional consequences aren't forgotten "control your heart" is not a forgotten plot point and Izuku actually is traumatized by Katsuki being stabbed and then they took a breather at the sunset spot reserved for that talk with Ochako and they look closer in a physical and emotional sense and that's actually canon don't mess with a guy like that let alone a fandom-
What do you mean guilt and shame are the only barriers preventing them from reaching each other when they'd be standing closer by sharing and overcoming it what do you mean Studio Bones confirmed Izuku specifically left because he couldn't see that happening to Katsuki again what do you mean they're simultaneously bound to each other by choice and willingly forced apart by their duties as heroes without realizing the full extent of this choice as if they're twin stars-
STUDIO BONES WHAT DID HORIKOSHI TELL YOU-
How the fuck haven't I imploded because I feel like I will when the 358-369 episode(s) comes out also BKDK fans how we feeling knowing they've accidentally overshadowed the "Shigaraki Tomura" part of the recap-
#Boku no Hero Academia#BNHA Spoilers#MHA Spoilers#Midoriya Izuku#Bakugou Katsuki#BKDK#KTIZ#spider.posts#i'm lucid enough to say i'm gonna regret typing this out later on because I SHOULD BE ASLEEP IDC#I NEED TO SHOUT THIS ALL OUT BABY I AM GONNA IMPLODE OTHERWISE#THE BKDK SHIPPER IN ME NEEDS THIS DAMN IT
384 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Pole Out Boy and their missed calling in life (x) (Pete: (The new record's) definitely a lot sexier than the last one. Patrick: There's a lot more slinky outfits, and, you know, garter belts.)
#fob#fall out boy#pete wentz#patrick stump#fobedit#anni edits#no but like why is Pete SO good at this. has he been taking classes. genuinely think he missed his calling#the pole may not be for Patrick but he's doing his best#also. i really regret to tell you this. but after patrick jokes about the slinky outfits n garter belts.#its a little hard to make out but i'm p sure pete says 'the front of (the record)'s gonna have him wearing a diaper'.#uh. WHY was that the first thing that came to mind for you. what is wrong with you. NEVER speak to me again peter.
425 notes
¡
View notes
Text
regret (maybe you shouldn't have fucking panini pressed your mancrush, dipshit)
#if i look at this any longer i'll lose my entire goddamn mind#is he imagining it is strahm really haunting him who's to say#oh yeah one of my friends discovered one of those dudes i'm being weird about from those saw movies is the computer chip guy from parks and#rec and i am enjoying their reaction greatly#anyway#art#illustration#my art#coffinshipping#peter strahm#mark hoffman#mark hoffman saw#peter strahm saw#is there an actual shipname for them. who's to say#saw#saw movies#hoffstrahm#saw fanart#i am consistently dogshit at tagging raise your hand if you're surprised#i'm gonna regret hitting post on this later. oh well not a now problem i will black this out of my memory#take your scraps my children#gore cw#blood cw
392 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Random poll because i was curious about other people's headcanons about Yuuji's feelings. Personally I'm inclined towards either chapter 143 or Yuuji realizing he loved Megumi just as (or after) he lost him (temporarily. He will be back), because i like the angst of it. But idk, what are your thoughts?
#tbh at first i was just planning to have chapter 143. the possesion and then the oblivious or has always known options#but the while thinking about it i wondered if it could have been that way back in the detention center#like I'm thinking of yuuji coming back. hearing megumi say that he doesn't regret saving him and spontaneously thinking âi want to kiss himâ#but he doesn't say anything because he is gonna die anyways so what he wants doesn't really matter anymore#itafushi#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#yuji itadori#jujutsu kaisen#jjk manga#jjk manga spoilers#if you die I'll kill you is there because i see it as yuuji realizing megumi loves him and thinking âi love him tooâ#that âi guess i can't die on you thenâ was gay as fuck#and the fact he said those words again? you can't tell me yuuji hasn't thought about that moment since
97 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Noah fence but if you can't handle thinking about the actual story of Mouthwashing and you just want to imagine silly found family scenarios with the crew on the Tulpar then maybe you shouldn't be engaging with HORROR media...... just a thought.
#mouthwashing#100% gonna regret tagging it but whatever it's been on my mind a lot recently#i feel like mouthwashing absolutely should not have been fandom-ified the way it has been#I'm not saying that no one should enjoy it. I'm not saying that no one should make silly memes or hcs or fanart#I just feel like all the people who are like#âmouthwashing but nothing bad happens and everyone has a good time and Jimmy is a normal person and/or diesâ#are kind of..... severely missing the point of the game#it feels almost disrespectful in a way. this game was clearly trying to communicate some heavy stuff#and ppl are just throwing that all away to play with the characters like dolls#I mean obv it's not really my business how other ppl engage with media but scrolling through the tags I'm like. man cmon#anyway Daisuke is my newest chew toy blorbo but if I try to draw him I need to actually be put down for real#rambles#(it's too late btw I already sketched him bc I was annoyed by seeing all the fanart where he just has a gash across his face)#(he got an AXE TO THE FACE)#oops it's 5 am lol
51 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Look here's the thing guys, if you keep going "Wow this Moffat episode was great, and that one, oh and that one too, but *OOOOH I HATE STEVEN MOFFAT AND HE'S TERRIBLE AND CAN'T WRITE AT ALL*"" then like... I've got news for ya, maybe you don't actually hate Moffat as much as you think.
It's OK, you don't have to have a burning parasocial hatred for this one sixty-two year-old Scottish man. In fact, it's honestly kinda weird to still have an obsessive hatred for Moffat in the year of our Lord 2024, but that's just my opinion, take it or leave it. If you wanna take aim at legitimate overly smug asshole writers who also happen to be terrible people... I mean, Joss Whedon is right over there guys, c'mon, what are we even doing here?
#doctor who#steven moffat#mfw people say âman moffat is great when rtd keeps him in checkâ#my brother in christ he *literally* said he never touched moffat's scripts#you are just making things up#on my anti-misinformation arc fuck you#am i gonna regret posting this tomorrow when i'm not zonked out of my gourd on paracetamol for my sore throat#who knows
128 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Salty rant v2
This is basically me angrily screaming about Ford again (wow what a surprise) to a wall (myself, my rotten brain and my blog) so feel free to skip this
Fuck it I'll bite
Gf fans when you tell them Ford had every right to be mad at Stan for ruining his Project (he saw it as the only chance to prove himself and get accepted in his dream school, and even tho WE know it was an accident, Ford doesn't he thinks it was a purpose sabotage and it really doesn't help that Stan didn't told him which resulted in him making a fool of himself Infront of ppl he wanted to impress and then Stan tried to pass it off as something that didn't matter even tho it mattered so much to Ford, like of course he'd be mad everyone would be mad in his position)
Gf fans when you tell them it's not Ford's fault that Stan got kicked out it's all Filbricks fault (seriously guys, blame the fucking abusive father, not the 17 year old living in an abusive household)
Gf fans when you tell them standing up against an abusive person (especially if they're your parent) is hard to do for yourself let alone for someone else
Gf fans when you tell them Ford wasn't the "golden/favourite child" Filbrick dgaf about him and only wanted to use his intelligence for money and both Ford and Stan were abused just in different ways (seriously find a different dynamic to describe an abusive household than "golden child" and "scapegoat" I say as I put a gun in your head)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford wanting to go to college isn't egotistical
Gf fans when you tell them Ford wanting to make a name for himself doesn't make him egotistical (he literally grew up in an abusive household, and was bullied and treated like an outcast for most of his life, him seeking out validation is a trauma response not egotism)
Gf fans when you tell them if Ford is petty for correcting Stan's grammar then Stan is equally as petty for refusing to hold his hand over a thank you literally seconds ago (of course he had the right to want him to thank him and be mad, but it was the END OF THE WORLD, they are both responsible in that scene)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford isn't ignorant for being manipulated by Bill cuz 1) Bill is a master manipulator who's managed to manipulate and terrorise humanity since forever using lies/flattery/fear 2) despite having a high IQ he has a low EQ and therefore isn't able to tell if someone has ill intentions due to being....an outcast and therefore doesn't have the social skills to be able to tell others true intentions/manipulations which made him an easy victim for Bill (do u guys even know what manipulation means)
Gf fand when you tell them the reason why Ford didn't try to reach out to Stan was because he thought he was doing fine since he had seen an ad of his on tv (he had no way of knowing Stan was still homeless anymore, and you don't usually see homeless people's ads on tv), not because he didn't care
Gf fans when you tell them Ford didn't force Fiddleford to do shit for him, and that he was against the use of the memory gun and wanted him to get rid of it but Fiddleford literally erased his memories of it so he could continue using it. And that therefore Ford isn't to blame for everything that happened with the memory gun just cuz Fiddleford had bad coping mechanisms. (Seriously you all are acting as if he pointed the memory gun on his head and forced him to abandon his family and build him the portal. No!! Fiddleford made those decisions himself he could had left Gravity Falls at any moment and return to his family but no he didn't, he chosed to stay and start a fucking cult. That is on him. Not on Ford)
Gf fans when you tell them the way Ford acted during the time where he was literally being abused, manipulated and isolated by a demon is way more complex and naused than "ego! ego!".. because he was literally being abused and manipulated...
Gf fans when you tell them the reason why Ford called Stan to hide his journals wasn't because he only wanted to use him as a way to fix his mistakes but because he was literally really desperate and feared for the safety of the world and he didn't have anyone else he could trust and that he was hella traumatized due to being literally tortured both physically and phycological and sleep deprived and on the bring of insanity (of fucking course he wasn't gonna act logically and say mean shit he didn't actually mean, he was losing his mind! Stan had also said mean shit to him because he was angry but nobody talks about that)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford being mad at Stan for opening the portal is understandable, because 1) he literally ignored all the warnings that the portal could potentially destroy the whole world and 2) he was literally about to FINALLY killing Bill after 30 years of fighting for his life in the multiverse to try and find a way to
Gf fans when you tell them Ford's trust issues are completely understandable because he was literally betrayed, manipulated and abused by the "person" he trusted the most (Bill). And the other two people he trusted did something that hurt his trust on him (Fiddleford erasing his memories, Stan ruining his project)
Gf fans when you tell them Ford's and Bill's relationship isn't "toxic yaoi/messy divorce!" And that it was incredible abusive and that FORD was a victim ( average gf fan claims they "don't romantize/support the toxic ((call it abusive guys, that's literally what it is)) elements of this ship I just like to explore unhealthy dynamics in fiction:) *proceeds to make 10 posts of "he fucked the triangle!" jokes and gets mad at you if you actually point out the abuse and makes 100 aus where they get back together/stay together*
Gf fans when I tell them that I really don't care about what Alex has said about Ford being "egotistical" or "ignorant" because that's also the same guy who said he didn't intended for Pacifica to come off as a victim of abuse because controlling your child with a bell is total normal parent behaviour guys (/s). (I stopped listening to most of the stuff he said after that, not gonna lie, cuz most of the stuff he says about Ford's "ego" and "ignorance" are flat out victim blaming) ((I mean come on guys, he literally says he based Ford's and Bill's relationship off REAL LIFE toxic relationships he's seen and then he goes and says shit like how it's Ford's own "ego and ignorance" fault that he's ended up in that situation. Don't you guys think that's a bit weird))
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#okay I'm gonna be brave today and main tag this#I hope I won't regret it later#honestly the only thing I can't really defend him on is all that with dipper#but at the same time. he wasn't trying to separate them. he saw that dipper was like him and wanted to do what he thought was the best for#him.#okay he was projecting a bit with that âisn't it suffocating?â comment but at the same time#my dude's social skills had always been shitty and he literally hasn't interacted with a person in like 30 years#he wasn't fucking trying to manipulate him#something something#the way this fandom treats Stan's trauma vs Ford's trauma is so different and it makes me ick#people tend to sympathise with Stan while tone down the trauma and abuse Ford suffer because they don't see him as a victim#which is like bizarre to me I want to say that it's cuz he's not a perfect victim but neither is stan yet ppl still acknowledge his trauma#and I swear to god it wasn't as bad as this BEFORE tbob#my main theory atm is that it's the result of B1llford shippers wanting to desperately ignore the fact their ship is. in fact. abusive.#by trying to make out Ford to be this terrible selfish egomaniac monster as a way to say âlook he's terrible too! they deserve eachother!â#and people acting being stupid enough to believe it (media literacy is dead nowadays)#and then stanley and fiddleford stans also started to desperately wanting to earse them of their own flaws and fucks uo to make them more#sympathetic by blaming everything on ford
21 notes
¡
View notes
Note
Hi! Long time no yap but I've been really bothered by this thing and I know you're just the person I can go to with this (even if we don't always end up agreeing at times).
I got into a tiff with someone in a comments section of a post that was about Amy (Which character do you think deserved to become a villain? or something similar). They brought up Amy's abuse of her boyfriend. I may have tried to defend Amy (key word is tried. I am officially rubbish at debating) but then I may have said something? Because they said that I (and apparently a lot of other fans) was excusing Amy's abuse because of her trauma. It got me stumped because isn't young Amy's treatment of Rory rooted in her trauma? Did I miss the memo where we separate trauma and abuse? Am I missing something?
That statement bothered me a lot because if there's one thing I never want to do it's defend an abuser. So here I am, humbly asking and hoping to clear the muddy waters.
Your really confused and disturbed moot, Tia đ
TIA!!!!! Thanks for the ask đ , and I send you all the hugs.
Discussion of abuse, trauma, ableism, infidelity, and unhealthy relationship dynamics beneath the cut.
(First off⌠while I really appreciate your faith in my explaining skills <3 <3 <3 my passion for traumatized characters and mentally ill+neurodivergent rights doesn't make me especially qualified to fully clear muddy waters especially not knowing the full context, but I feel you, and what follows is my informed perspective!)
Speaking generally first, harm done in media is best examined by the impact on the audience, with a different lens than harm done to real people. While relatable experiences in media can be useful and validating and incredibly important, you canât be âdefending an abuserâ when the abuse is fictional. It's actually normal for traumatized/ND/mentally ill people to project onto mentally ill villains, when villains are the only significant representation for those stigmatized symptoms in a media landscape that excludes and demonizes us simply for existing. RTD can't stop people who hallucinate from reclaiming the Master's Drums and projecting onto the Master, for example â 90% of the best Doctor Who psychosis fic by psychotic authors is about the Master, whether RTD likes it or not. It's not true crime.
(This is speaking generally. Amy Pond is very much not the Master.)
Abuse is a behavior, and there can be many reasons for it, but reasons based in trauma donât make it not abuse (some forms of generational trauma can propagate abusive parenting styles, when the parent thinks abusive parenting is normal, or lives entirely vicariously through their child). This absolutely should not be taken to mean trauma correlates with abusive behavior; rather that abusive behaviors from traumatized people are more likely to present in specific ways.
Abuse is also a targeted behavior, based in control â not consistently displayed C-PTSD symptoms as seen in Season 5 Amy Pond through many aspects of her life. Mental health symptoms don't become abuse just because they hinder one partner from meeting the other partner's needs. Any life event can do that.
Without knowing the context of the arguments, this is the aspect of their relationship I've seen you talk about before (which I also feel strongly about), and what I assume is what you were debating? So, here I will talk specifically in regard to Season 5.
We all know Amy â she's never attached to Leadworth because she never wanted to leave Scotland, no steady therapist because none of them stick up for her, can't stick with one job yet her first choice is a job that simulates intimacy because her avoidant behavior (a known trauma response) isn't sustainable to her wellbeing. Rory knows her fears of commitment stem from her repeated abandonments, itâs why heâll always wait for her, and it's why he blames the Doctor âYou make it so they don't want to let you down.â, who apart from having caused a lot of her trauma, has actively taken advantage of her being the âScottish girl in the English villageâ who's âstill got that accent,â because he wants to feel important, so yeah, I think interpreting Amy's issues (and how Amy and Rory transverse them) as Amy abusing Rory indicates a fundamental misunderstanding of their relationship, as well as a misunderstanding of the (raggedy) Doctorâs role in Amyâs formative self-image (which of course she works through in Season 6, but I am sticking to Season 5).
Abuse is always based in control. That just doesnât fit here. While Amy's detachment from her real life includes things like calling Rory her âkind of boyfriendâ (which she is upfront about to his face; differing commitment levels isn't abuse, though it can be a relationship red flag for both parties IRL) â her Season 5 disregard of Roryâs feelings occurs only in response to the fairytale embodiment of her trauma. It's never a response to Rory; it's a response to the Doctor, who stole her childhood and led her by the hand to her death. She cheats on Rory with the Doctor in her bedroom full of Doctor toys, drawings, models, she made from childhood to early adulthood.
(And yes, like many repeatedly-traumatized people, Amy is prone to being sensitive and reactive. Take her âWell, shut up then!â line in The Big Bang; but given Rory responds to this by hugging her, clearly he doesnât take it as her actually dismissing him. He knows her better than that.)
And by no means do I meant to imply this is fair to young Rory, poor Rory, who's left struggling with the feeling that his role in her life is in competition with the role of her trauma (aka the Doctor). But not every unhealthy relationship dynamic is unhealthy because of abuse. Labelling Amy's treatment of Rory in Season 5 more accurately isn't the same as excusing her harmful choices â but making mistakes is part of being human, Amy's mistakes are certainly understandable, and she works through them out of love for Rory.
If there's one thing to say about Moffat women, it's that Moffat allows his female characters the same grace that the male characters *coughTENcough* have always had, to hurt and struggle and make realistic mistakes and overcome those mistakes and to heal without being demonized.
Amy isn't perfect, but she is a fully realized character, and her story gives us a resonant depiction of childhood trauma.
#abuse#rtd critical#anti rtd#im NOT really anti rtd but im tagging it that because some people block that tag and uhhhh this post strays into rtd critique#maybe he does regret how he wrote the master! we'll never know because rtd is very anti-admitting-his-own-mistakes#words by seaweed#anyways tia i am. SO relieved youâre not upset with me about our last disagreement?#i high key jumped to conclusions after the lack of reply to the last DM? so thank you for this ask it's great to hear from you#sorry you were in a debate about this! that sounds extremely awful.#anyway i'm gonna WAIT at least a week to tag Amy and Rory to avoid this showing up in the character tags right away haha#because I am KINDA scared the anti-media-literacy ppl will find this (I had to include the first part tho its important)#(lack of distinction between harm to audience *in fiction* and irl harm *to actual ppl* leads to problematic public apologies where-#-public figures apologize to fans they let down *instead* of the people they actually hurt. no it doesn't work like that)#(parasocial relationships are not more important than real victims agency or privacy)#and I am planning to make a post at some point about the nd aspects of Amy+the Doctor's connection which this stuff IS relevant to soooooo#am I going hard on specifying Season 5 Amy to under the assumption that the uncharacteristic Rory-slapping isnt whats bein talked abt?#maybe. its not in character.#editing to say..... yanno what? ive come to terms with not all the posts with the following tag been about the doctor#(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag#editing again to add character tags:#Amy pond#Rory williams
23 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Recent Egg Developments, How I Feel About It, and What I'm Doing After
Alright I'm gonna stop being sad for like two minutes, or at least long enough to explain what exactly happened for those who missed it
So we had the Murder Mystery Event today, and a lot of people showed up. It was really fun, and we really enjoyed it
And then, after it was over, Richarlyson informed us that he was leaving QSMP. He did not give a reason as far as I know, and I don't think it's smart or fair to speculate. I have my own ideas as to why, but I know that sharing them wouldn't be productive
Not long after, over on Phil's stream, Chayanne and Lullah informed us that they were leaving as well. They did talk pretty vaguely about "The next time they wake up," but this could have likely been some flowery language and not literal. There's a strong chance they will not wake up in QSMP again
As of now, Pepito and Leo are the only Eggs confirmed to still be part of the project, but I'm not really sure what the future will hold for them
Like I said before, I am personally hoping this is a sort of indefinite hiatus. Like they're leaving and there's a strong chance they won't come back, but there could be a non-zero chance sometime in the future. I would not get my hopes up for this though, because the chances of that happening are most likely very slim
I am honestly really sad about this development, but we all knew this couldn't last forever. I wish we had a better resolution, but this is how things are for now. I don't know if this is related to the Admin Situation or not, but again, since that hasn't been confirmed, we shouldn't speculate. It's just as possible that they felt they were done with this chapter of their life, which is entirely fair. I will never hold this decision against them, and I really hope others don't either. I wish them the best, and I wish you all the best as well, QSMPblr
Because I'm honestly not sure where I'm gonna go from here. Chayanne and Lullah were a huge reason I was so invested with QSMP, and the same goes for all the other Eggs. And while I'd love to say that I'll definitely stick around 100%, I'm just not sure I'll do that. I guess we'll see, but if I start petering out after this, know that I had a hell of a time over here
I've never been part of a fandom to this capacity before, and I had a hell of a time. Theorizing, ranting, sharing my thoughts, it was all a blast. And I wanna say that I might not have interacted with others due to anxiety, but I was always so happy to see that people liked what I had to say, and seeing that some people were coming back for it, or going through my blog and liking everything. I may have never said anything, but I saw you, and I appreciate you all so much
I might start talking about more non-QSMP Stuff here too, so if anyone who followed me JUST for QSMP, sorry. But I don't want this blog to die out, because it's been such a fun chapter for me. It might be a new chapter now, but I'm still gonna be here for it
Thanks again everyone. Thanks Egg Admins, Non-Egg Admins, QSMP Creators, QSMPblr, and Everyone else in-between
And of course, Thanks Quackity, for making such an incredible experience
It's been a wild ride
#You guys will never understand what it means for me to say that last sentence#I'm actually choking up right now#I really don't cry very often#But I'm getting really close here and it sucks#I'm gonna miss them#And I'm gonna miss the magic that was happening here for so long#But I had fun#And I don't regret it#So if this is goodbye#Then goodbye#But if not#Then I'll see you all later#qsmp#qsmp eggs#qsmp quackity#quackity
22 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Anybody know how to get rid of a curse đ
#throwback to when i was a kid and my mother the monster that she is wished upon me to never be happy just as she isn't#and that i should never be granted love or happiness. just like her.#this happened repeatedly#my heart gets broken over and over while ppl around me find love and get to keep it and be happy#i feel so fucking broken. like im literally not a person. idk what im doing wrong#i love my friends' love. im genuinely happy to see them thrive#ive been alone and yearning for a quarter of a century#i cant take it anymore#of course i had to fall in love with someone who wont be with me#thats the easiest way to make sure im fucked up and alone for as long as possible#and it's happened several times#they may love me but they cant be w me#I'm literally so fucking sad#the one person who was gonna make it work. i made them hate me bc of some huge misunderstanding abt the nature of our relationship#i miss them the most in the whole world. i think about them constantly. biggest regret of my life#the grief of it all is eating me alive. i keep getting close to being happy n in love and. dare i say it. loved#and then its all getting ripped away from me. again and again#every day it hurts and it makes me paralysed and i cant do shit or be who i want. i wish i could b sedated forever#goodnight lol
9 notes
¡
View notes
Text
hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the âoh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anythingâ AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY âOH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIMEâ I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
7 notes
¡
View notes
Text
okay that's the last birthday message. please no more. lol. thank you for being nice, blanket thank you to everyone who is thinking about saying happy birthday to me, or who thought about it and forgot but i am about to have some chamomile tea and then proceed to become as unconscious as is humanly possible. LMAO.
#guy i'm talking to on a dating app asked what's wrong cause i said i had a long day/shit birthday#like buddy i'm gonna be honest you picked the wrong day to ask me this#because i have been an emotional wreck going on seven hours now#and i was like âi can tell you but things are gonna get really bleak and honest really quickly so your choiceâ#and he was like âi would say yes if you thought it would help but i'm about to fall asleepâ#like oh don't worry it's cool! i will 100% regret saying that in the morning! or maybe i won't#life is very fucking bizarre right now so who knows! l o fucking l#anyways. chamomile tea and then near immediate unconsciousness for my own fucking sanity
11 notes
¡
View notes
Photo
I was completely normal about him from day one
#god I could just draw him over and over#and would not get bored#what I'm saying is that he would be completely animatable#I'm gonna do it tbh#just how#anyways#insane clown man go brr#gone insane#sweet babu#''Fig I thought you were gonna draw Lance-'' IN A MINUTE#jestro nexo knights#nexo knights#lego nexo knights#my stuff#I really need to draw more of his expressions#they're so good#I HAVE TWO ARTIST'S STATEMENTS AND A BIBLIOGRAPHY I NEED TO DO#AND I DON'T REGRET A SECOND#also I'm really good at making essays relatively fast so I can afford to procrastinate#lol
121 notes
¡
View notes
Text
sorry for quiet lol. dealing with a lot
#logging back in briefly just to say I'm not ignoring anyone#healing seems like it's going not good at this point and a lot of emotional stuff going on#I don't regret top surgery but it's been rough healing the last like week and a half and idk if I'm gonna have to go to urgent care#so idk what medical bills might look like for that if I do and I am already still paying off the actual surgery#on top of trying to look for a car bc mine shit the bed and I'm borrowing my sister's old one for now but this isn't a permanent solution#so mental and emotionally and now also physically I've just been like. idk. having a rough go of it for the last few weeks#I'm trying my best. I wish my best was better
9 notes
¡
View notes