#i'm frustrated with how rarely i can post anything on here because of how long it takes me to finish a piece

[skulldetergent]

downtime

[factual-fantasy]

Here is your reminder that the Octonauts fandom is going to be PATIENT, will RESPECT your boundaries, will WAIT for your possible return to the fandom, and will NOT pressure you into anything. Any Octonauts fan that does otherwise should not count, because they clearly do not know what it means to be an Octonaut.

An Octonaut is patient, kind, helpful, and respectful, even if things don't go the way they want it specifically. They will care for the creatures(in this case, people) that come to them regardless of how they want their day to go.

Octonauts are selfless; they do not let what they WANT get in the way of what others NEED. They do not prioritize themselves over others. If you never return to the fandom again, THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE. Because that is what I'd best for YOU. It may disappoint some, but as long as you are safe, happy, and healthy, it should not matter what people WANT out of YOU and YOUR art.

If you do decide to come back to us, then we welcome you with open arms. There aren't enough of us to form an overall opinion about the fandom, and sadly bad experiences can taint the entire look of our community.

Trust me, I've had PLENTY of bad experiences myself(probably TMI, but I once had someone DM me to roleplay something where them as Captain Barnacles had insomnia, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a crap ton of other things and I as Shellington had to comfort him and whatnot. And then Captain Barnacles got his arm ripped off and they never messaged me again. This was on WATTPAD. They have since removed DMs, and I can see why. So bad experiences can definitely ruin one's image of the fandom.)

But if you enjoy the Octonauts and that's what you want to draw, don't let idiots stop you!! Octonauts do not discriminate and any hateful person who calls themself an Octonaut never truly learned what it means to explore, rescue, and protect.

An Octonaut is meant to protect and care for their communities, and unnecessary aggression or rude comments should not be tolerated!!! Not by you or by us! Guilt tripping is not good either!

AND: Remember to drink water, eat food, get some rest, and take time for yourself! Have a lovely day/night factual :3

<XD The Octonauts fandom is a tough subject for me for a lot of reasons.. I guess now would be a decent time to finally open up about some of it..

To start, I have had more art theft/reposters, art tracers, copying/heavily adopting all my headcannon/design choices.. in the Octonauts fandom, more than every other fandom combined. Including FNAF. 70% of the time when someone shows me an account that has reposted my art? Its one of my Octonauts comics.

I'm pretty protective of my work and I like to keep things to myself, so having all of these happen so frequently in this fandom has kind'a spooked me away..

And I get it, the fandom is not that big. Chances are when someone has a different/unique/good idea, everyone is going to adopt it into their Octonauts universe. I get it.. but that doesn't stop me from feeling really uncomfortable about posting Octonauts artwork. And I also get that a lot of the people in the Octonauts fandom are really young and don't realize that reposting is theft, or that blatant tracing is theft. That doesn't stop it from being really frustrating to see and very discouraging.. especially when you say "hey, you traced my artwork, please don't do that.." they just straight up don't listen 💀

What's frustrating is that despite not having posted anything Octonauts related in a long time, I STILL deal with constant theft and art tracers. I had to block a few recently after they denied clearly tracing my art and refused to take anything down.

Not even to mention the people who have bashed me for not head cannoning Kwazii or Calico jack as trans.. I totally understand that its a widely accepted headcannon, but my Jack is just a rare male calico and Kwazii is a regular male tabby/calico mix. The constant "why dont you draw kwazii with top scars?? are you a transphobe?? stop misgendering kwazii he's trans!!" is really annoying..

Another thing that really bothers me is the constant crab comic asks. Despite explaining multiple times that I do not want to continue drawing that comic, I still get constant asks like this,👇

This was sent after a simple eye study of the Octonauts. And it said that I'm still on the fence about Octonauts. What part of that post makes you think I'm gonna go back to the crab comic?

I understand that a lot of these people are young and just don't understand that all this stuff is wrong or could be making me uncomfortable. But currently I just don't have the patience to deal with all this junk.. So until I can get my patience back or find a work around for this, Octonauts is officially back on the shelf. 😔

[mahuhumaling]

JATP Season 2 Wishlist

that i wrote in my notes app back in:

and realized i never posted it here? tbf i'm rarely on tumblr. but because i really miss them rn i want to share my ✨ brainrot ✨ that i had back when i thought they were getting a renewal.

Carrie Wilson

she was my biggest flaw in Season 1. I wish her "redemption arc" is fleshed out more in Season 2; give her either more context & backstory to validate her reason for unnecessarily antagonizing Julie, or screentime to properly address how she's just projecting an emotion completely different into bitterness and anger into Julie's recovery

show particularly her earlier dynamic w/ Flynn and Julie? Maybe as Flynn calls her out, we'd get flashback glimpses prior to Rose's death (maybe even Double Trouble temporarily being Triple Threat 👉🏽👈🏽)

for some reason i'm picturing a scene where she's in her dance studio (she has one in their mansion, of course) practicing some of her Dirty Candy routine when she keeps messing up and not in the right mindset to keep dancing. i feel like the best (maybe easiest but whatever) way to guide the audience into her artist mind is to make her be a perfectionist. in frustration, she blows up for a minute before slumping onto the ground and reminisces her fun times with Julie & Flynn

also when you have her develop, please don't make her lose her femininity and the bubblegum pop music, it's great

Old Songs Resurfacing

it'll prove how detailed & thorough you are as a screenwriter if you pay off the songs mentioned in Season 1 in passing to be actual songs in Season 2

Unreleased: Get Lost, Long Weekend, Crooked Teeth, My Name is Luke, and if that riff from the scene in EP. 5 that spurred on the Bobby reveal isn't from one of these songs, add that too

Demo Album: Late Last Night, Lakeside Reflection, In Your Starlight

Willex

imagine your queer couple gets to have their first kiss first than your het main couple, not only will that settle Madi & Charlie's statements about being uncomfortable in doing a kissing scene and maintaining the priority of Juke's emotional over physical relationship, it would also make an powerful statement

Reggie's Character Arc

i know that he initially had an arc that involved a romance with Flynn but because of the ages of who they casted, they scrapped it and didn't have time to rewrite the scripts for him as filming neared, so they have time to adapt to how jeremy portrayed him for season 2: a lovable dork who craves familial love

since there's a possibility that lifers can now see the boys, maybe some found family trope for Reggie and Ray Molina?

he has pretty much formed a parasocial relationship with him at this point

so why not instead of a love interest, Reggie can have his character arc develop & we see his family before thru flashbacks and paralleling those in the current times because he sees Ray as a father figure

picture this: it's raining, Bobby opens the garage door to the sound of knocking, the boys find Reggie soaking wet and out of breath when he tries to say he doesn't know where else to go then the boys immediately figure out another fight in the Peters household happened. Reggie tries to talk again when Alex (because even though they're the airhead-sarcastic duo, they know they love each other) runs up to hug him and tells the other he doesn't have to say anything

cut to a freshly showered Reggie, quietly watching tv with Bobby, Luke, and Alex in the garage, eating whatever

also a solo acoustic country song, pls. just to make him happy

The Aftermath of the Deaths

for both the boys and Rose

we get parallels about how Bobby dealt with trauma and grief to Julie

like, the reason why the clothes are still in there (are to have costume changes for the boys) is because Bobby immediately moved out of the house (therefore also the garage) and left the clothes there because he couldn't bear to burn it, or visit the boys' houses to break the news to their families and return the clothes, or donate it somewhere so he just...left it. it would make for a more solid reason (for costume changes) and an emotional context as to how Bobby really tried to forget them because it was "easier."

it would also make sense why Carrie and Julie ended up friends. Rose probably was there for Bobby when they discovered what happened at the alleyway, so they stayed friends over the years and had their respective families but still kept in touch, (bonus points if absolutely nothing romantic happened between them! yay to normalizing platonic male-female relationships) and why Rose would immediately think of Bobby's three late bandmates to send for Julie when she was on her deathbed

Bobby never really "moved on" (because grief is a really complex thing). it's showed that he has a therapist and everything, and this could definitely have some aftereffects on his daughter. Carrie growing up seeing her father be this amazing rockstar but a negligent father and only showing love in ways she doesn't need (like riches and fame and connections to the music industry) because he's actually a really lonely man on the inside and no one can see that except for Bobby's spouse and Carrie. it'd explain why Carrie is spoiled, and other negative character traits that Carrie has on the surface

it's even why Bobby changed his name to Trevor: 1) Bobby is so closely associated to Sunset Curve and it's an absolute pain to be reminded of that every day, 2) it's a stage name and artists really do get that

More Worldbuilding

they already had some pretty creative concepts/ideas in the first season, so why not expand/expound on them a bit more

the instruments are attached to their souls that's why the boys at first can only touch them, like how Willie's skateboard and helmet are attached to him

which is why when they attach themselves to the world of the present, they gather up energy and focus on touching tangible things like the picture frame

this may follow the logic toward the end where they are finally able to touch Julie because she has become attached to their souls. emotionally.

More Creative Collaboration

i believe in the principle that when a story is finally released/published/told to the world, the world shares it. this is also visible in film/tv where when the scripts are finished and actors receive them, the story becomes part of theirs to work on. which means that they have some sort of autonomy over their characters' motivations, a chance to be heard of their ideas and pitches, and why some certain scenes wouldn't work, etc etc. it doesn't just become the director's story nor the screenwriters'.

the actors' ideas such as Perfect Harmony and their solos from Nothing to Lose are great because they let them in. they took risks, and it paid off incredibly well. more of that please. have them be a part of the writing process, (also the story), but never forget what made the music production great in the first place. be coherent and don't be like others that let too many hands work on one piece—it will lose its sound, its identity.

Julie Knowing

that Nick is possessed by Caleb. ohmygOD. hear me out.

the same S1 ending will play somewhere in 2x01, but it will be revealed that Julie was watching through the window the entire time and when she opens the door to receive the flowers, that last look she gives him is actually her scheming.

determined to get Nick back, imagine The Promised Neverland's level of mindgames Julie could play with Caleb because we already know our girl's smart

Free Willie Willie's Freedom

since the boys feel indebted to Willie's help, they insist on helping him too with getting rid of Caleb's stamp

maybe through his connection with Alex? or maybe Willie's family or friends who are still lifers (which is unlikely but either way). he needs to be saved !!

Song Sequences Ideas

juke counter melody duet like Rini's "Even When/The Best Part," Shane & Mitchie's "Wouldn't Change a Thing," or dodie & Jon Cozart's "a love song/a non love song"

emotional carrie ballad paired with lyrical hiphop choreo

willex song - i absolutely have no idea where this could go directionally but maybe alex on an acoustic guitar with a really soft sweet tune

reprises of S1 songs but in the complete opposite of their original style (the fandom's lonelier All Eyes on Me version, i see u)

nick guitar solo - just because Sacha actually plays, idk how it'd fit in to the plot yet but hey

Nothing to Lose (Reprise) - back in the '90s, a producer manipulates Bobby to sign a record deal to become a star but on one condition: disassociate himself with Sunset Curve, to which he first declines until he slowly gets persuaded. (sort of like Todrick Hall's So Lucky to Be You meets Lyn Lapid's Producer Man)

"So how about it, Bobby Shaw? Do we have a deal?"

"Trevor."

"I'm sorry?"

"Call me Trevor Wilson."

i'm pretty sure someone made an animatic with this idea too but i cannot for the life of me find it !!

7. Season 2 starts the same way as Season 1 does before the opening song plays

Black screen that reads a text "Hollywood 1995"

a pan down to the Orpheum's overhead sign that reads "SUNSET CURVE SOLD OUT"

cut to the interior with Rose finishing up her cleaning when a stage manager calls out: "Sunset Curve!" to which Bobby abruptly stops his pacing back and forth to look up. he and Rose look at each other. music swells until...

cut to him running onto the alleyway, "are they still not finished eating? those gluttons are dead to me i swear—" he cuts off his own words when he sees the boys getting dragged onto stretchers. but we, the audience, don't see it. just a close up of bobby as the ambulance lights reflects his face. rose comes up behind him, still clutching their t-shirt.

[i honestly have no idea if Bobby should get on stage because it just proves Luke's theory of The Orpheum's opening bands eventually becoming big & successful so it'll explain the Trevor Wilson fame even though at first he only did it for the boys, or if he shouldn't because according to the article Julie googled he ran away immediately after they were pronounced in the scene] but either way, this is how the opening starts.

then it progresses to Rose and Bobby respectively having children so they could parallel each other blah blah

8. Julie plays a simple song on the piano while the guys watch her in awe

Storytelling through Props

let's dive deep into Rose's luggage/suitcase and use the props to head for Julie's emotional attachment with them

they already did it with the wardrobe: Rose wears the black leather vest in the pilot while Julie wears the same thing in EP 6

add depth to the characters' relationships like us finding out Julie's multilayered necklace is actually a gift from Carrie or something

SOYON ANN YOU'RE A GIFT FROM GOD. Bobby's necklace is present in both young and old!him

**Rose in flashback scenes should be wearing clothes we've already seen Julie in Season 1 just for greater effect.

The Bobby Conflict

definitely needs to be brought up again by Season 2; they only discarded somewhere in the middle because more pressing matters like the boys' existence blipping away was pushed to the forefront of the story

however, The Bobby Conflict changes. it'll be cleared up that he was offered a record deal as a solo artist by a manipulative producer. and given that the poor boy is only 17 (too, maybe), he agrees. what he doesn't know is the contract's fine print: giving up Sunset Curve's royalties

that information clears it up to the audience and the band, so the conflict becomes this: Bobby's Survivor's Guilt. god wouldn't that be so good tackling that in a kids'/family show.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told my mother I do not want to help her

💚💙💚 <- to recognize the post

I have two sisters who are older than me, we are all teenagers.

My mom designates the weekend to grocery shopping and cleaning the house. Because of her chronic pain making it more difficult to function at times, she often asks for my help. I would be fine with this, but the problem here is she only ever asks for my help.

Most of the time I only finish up with my homework right before I am meant to get ready for bed (I struggle with motivation and focusing), and sometimes I'm working well past that time. Because of this, I rarely ever have time to myself during the week. I find it reasonable that I want to use the time I have on the weekends for myself. I feel like I never get to do things that I enjoy during the week, and by the time the weekend comes my brain feels like it's soup. As far as I know, neither of my sisters suffer with this problem as they both get right on their hobbies the second they get home. Despite this, I am the only one who is asked to help clean and do shopping.

When helping her clean I try to get things done as fast as possible and sometimes when I am focused it's difficult for me to mask how I am feeling. This makes it very obvious that I would rather be doing just about anything else. And when shopping starts to take a bit too long I get very restless and fidgety. I have, on various occasions, nearly completely blocked myself off while at a store because it is very overstimulating and emotionally taxing, and it takes everything in me not to get incredibly frustrated.

When my mom notices this, she gets upset. She tells me that I do not HAVe to help her and if I really don't enjoy helping her then I can tell her that I don't want to. However, I have never taken her up on this offer in fear of upsetting her.

so. WIBTA if I actually did tell my mother I would rather be doing the things that I enjoy during my free time, or if I reminded her that she could ask my sisters for help instead of me? Or should I continue to help despite the fact that I rarely get time to myself?

What are these acronyms?

[joys-of-everyday]

SVSSS’s women and MXTX’s commentary on sexism

Every time someone starts with ‘MXTX is great but her women…’, I feel conflicted. I think the way she writes women is secretly brilliant, but that was a conclusion I came to after a long hard think about SVSSS (which was the third series I got into). I absolutely went through the 'MXTX is great but her women...' phase.

So thoughts for my fellow travelers on this journey of enlightenment or whatever. I’m focusing on SVSSS here, because otherwise the post would be more than three times as long. I'm also not... idk how to phrase it... 'starting at the basics' since I think there's plenty already out there on MXTX's strong/not strong presence of female characters. (There’s this for advertisement. Then a somewhat more involved post on Su Xiyan which is brilliant btw. defo recommend.) This is more like... side notes, of things I have yet to see discussed. (maybe someone has discussed them and I've yet to find it.)

1. Ning Yingying, Institutionalised Sexism, and Growth

There were also some incredible female cultivators, but on the whole, these girls’ strength and mental fortitude was lacking, and they often required help… they spent their time playing around instead of actually working. Basically they looked quite hopeless.

What I really have to appreciate about SVSSS is that it slaps you around the face with a giant cucumber so you really can't miss it. This was the passage that made me put down the book and think. Why is this here? What is the point? Idk it just stuck out to me.

So there's a lot to say here about SY's stunning narration, what that says about his internalised beliefs, as well as the portrayal of women in certain genres and how frustrating it can be as a reader/viewer (looking at you, shonen), but I wanted to divest for a second to mention implicit sexism (for no other reason than I happen to care).

In SVSSS, there isn’t much explicit sexism aimed at female characters in world. By this, I mean there is no point at which a character in the world of SVSSS says sexist things to a female character, nor are there moments were female characters are specifically barred from doing anything because of their gender. Of course, it could in part be due to SQQ’s blindness to such issues, but there’s also another facet to this – the abundance of implicit sexism.

The Little Palace Mistress was the Old Palace Master’s beloved daughter. Her martial skills were the product of his hands-on teaching… Meanwhile, Ning Yingying was the beloved youngest shimei who was pampered by the entirety of Qing Jing Peak; she very rarely encountered danger and had virtually no real battle experience.

Ning Yingying is never pushed. She’s loved and cared for, but not expected to excel. The thing with implicit/institutionalised anything is that it’s hard to point to any specific case and go ‘that’s sexist’ or whatever. The effect is only clear when taken over a larger group. Returning to the Immortal Alliance Conference, what do our female participants look like? We have LMY doing her thing, ofc. But QWY? QWR? Their immediate reaction to danger is to cling to the nearest strong person and rely on them for protection. It feels like they’ve never learnt to stand for themselves.

MXTX’s later works often get the ‘there aren’t enough female characters in positions of power’ or ‘all the female characters die’ kind of remarks, but I think there’s something deeper to be said about the kind of commentary it's making on society. Anyway, I won't go deeper here, but the subversion of NYY’s stereotypical role (and so arguably the whole point of her character thematically) is that she doesn’t continue to be the loli icon with IQ 40. When NYY is forced to fend for herself and given the space to grow, she does grow. And isn’t that a nice message?

2. LMY, the Daoist Nuns, and Sex Positivity

Because her face was excessively beautiful, capable of stealing souls, she had to hide it behind a veil all year round, rendering her like unto a flower on a high cliff, unattainable and out of reach.

The women of SVSSS are all about subversions of troupes, and the subversion of LMY’s troupe is twofold. At first, she is introduced as the ‘pure’ one, in contrast to SHL’s ‘sexy’ (commentary on the ‘two types of women: frigid and slut’ narrative). Then she’s the ‘not like other girls’. She’s beautiful but doesn’t care for her looks. She doesn’t care for men but they fall at her feet. She’s stoic and competent, the ideal of a ‘strong independent woman’. And then, right at the end, we learn that she writes very kinky gay porn.

I think there's a lot of disappointment around for LMY's potential not being fulfilled, and while I agree SVSSS on the whole wrapped things up very quickly, honestly? I think this is the funniest twist ever.

LMY a fanfic writer, a shipper, a BL enthusiast. The kind of woman whose literature has always been regarded with something between confusion, denial, and disgust: from the rise of shonen ai and Yaoi of the 60s-80s, or slash fiction in 70s, to the popularity of danmei in China. The CP fan, in all its bravery and ugliness. She's not a hero, she doesn't particularly do anything, other than pursue her hobbies. She's neither ‘pure’ nor ‘strong’, but touchingly realistic.

And even better, she’s not alone. There’s the Daoist nuns, who (hilariously) are nuns who in an apparently life-or-death situations suggest dual cultivation??? (Now celibacy was necessary in some Daoist schools but not all, but since Shen Jiu mentions specifically that there’s nothing strictly wrong with him sleeping with prostitutes because they’re not a Daoist sect, it feels like there’s a subversion lurking there.) (idk they have Catholic girl school vibes.)

ngl, I just love LMY. She's very sexy.

3. LPM, QWY, and Breaking Down the Mean Girl

If LMY is ‘not like other girls’ then the LPM is the ‘mean girl’. Also, the ‘girl who tries to break up the MLs’ of a BL. The two troupes are in the same ballpark. Rich, pretty, privileged. Also petty, stupid, and unnecessarily cruel. More generally, the Huan Hua trio - LPM, QWY, QWR all take different elements of the 'unlikable girl'.

I don’t have many deep thoughts about this, other than their abject failure to make a dent on LBH’s devotion to SQQ being really funny (and an excellent post on QWY which breaks down her character and her relationship to og!LBH), but something that snagged with me is the comparison between these extracts.

Why did he act like one of those bitter courtyard complex concubines with too much time on their hands?

This is about Shen Jiu. Ya know, Shen abuses children Jiu.

He very much did not enjoy the sight of a sixty-year-old coot and a young girl in her teens cooing at each other right in front of him.

This is one of two (?) times that svsss mentions a young girl being married to an old coot (the second being SJ's mysterious jiejie). If you didn't know, the situation of women in much of Chinese history is... not great.

The Little Palace Mistress: Bitter, locked-up woman. She herself says that Luo Binghe treats her like a kept pig.

Also, the existence of Wang Lingjiao in MDZS, servant turned lover, who everyone hates (she’s the one stuck to Wen Chao if you’re like me and forgot her name most the time).

There’s condemnation there (none of these characters are portrayed in a sympathetic light) but there’s a hint of pity there too. LPM has lost a father. QWY a sister. And in MDZS, WLJ is plagued by the anxiety of an unfaithful lover who she relies on entirely for her power.

(Someone (irl!) mentioned Beauvoir to me in a (not svsss!) conversation (lol the brain rot is real but not 100% yet) and now I feel like maybe I should go back to the Second Sex for svsss reasons (so maybe the brain rot is real 🤔). Beauvoir writes a lot about 'bad women'.)

Anyway, this is not particularly organised and doesn't really have a point. I might expand some more on something at some point, but that requires me having coherent thoughts, which probably requires me having actual conversations to get a few things straight, so no guarantees. Whatever. Have a great day :)

[anabdaniels]

Cowboytober Day 19- Praising

Paring: Agent Whiskey x Female Reader

Word counting: 2.6k

Rating: 18+

Warning: The following work contains mentions of post-partum blues and frustration towards the needed mode of delivery (c-section).

Masterlist

A/N: I'm so sorry for how long this is, I got carried away by the backstory. This can be read as the part two of Flufftober Day 19.

If you were going to be honest, your expectations about the first months of your newborn were the worst possible. Turned out that it wasn’t that bad. Of course, the nights were still being animated, especially when the baby woke up with colic, but luckily, your handsome cowboy made an excellent husband and father.

In the first weeks, you were strictly forbidden to do anything but breastfeed the baby and walk a bit around the ranch, since it was a medical recommendation to help you recover from the c-section. Anything out of those two things would end up with Jack asking a hundred times if you were feeling okay and really didn’t prefer to let him do it. Sometimes you got close to getting irritated with him, but then you pondered for a moment and realized that he was just concerned about your well-being.

When your daughter was 4-months-old, things were starting to get calmer; her sleep was becoming more consistent, her episodes of colic were pretty rare, and, in a general aspect, Katherine was a pretty calm baby, only crying when her little tummy wasn’t that good was for some stuck gas or because she was hungry or when she remained too long without being snuggled by you or Jack.

But a peaceful baby didn’t mean that you didn’t have any problems to deal with.

Even after 4 months, you were still frustrated with the fact that you couldn’t have a natural delivery, even after all the times you and Jack talked about it and he reassured you endlessly that you shouldn’t martyrize yourself so much about something you had no control about, the subject was still living rent-free on your head. Such as your schism with the scar left from the c-section. There was nothing wrong with it, but to your paranoia, it didn’t matter, you’d always see it as a defect in you.

Jack had plenty of awareness of your mean thoughts about yourself and had spent a considerable time planning that night out in the city. You two had spent the last four months going out just for medical appointments and to do the groceries, a little time out without worries about diapers or a shopping list was a needed pause for both of you. Not surprising Jack at all, Ginger and Tequila didn’t even think twice before accepting to take care of their self-proclaimed niece.

“Are you two sure that you can handle it?” Jack asked while observing Ginger and Tequila absorbed watching Katherine sleeping on the baby stroller.

“You kidding? Have you forgotten I’m the older of three siblings? I’m a specialist on babies, Whiskey.” Tequila said in a convinced tone, still observing Katherine asleep.

“And I’m here to make sure he’ll not steal Katherine’s toys, so we’ll be fine.” Ginger completed calmly, also looking at Katherine.

“Something tells me that we’ll have some trouble to get our baby back.” You said observing the scene.

“Maybe you will.” Ginger turned to look at you “But what are you two still doing here?” she said while approaching you and Jack, guiding both of you to the door.

“Are we being kicked out of our own house?” Jack questioned raising one eyebrow.

“Yes.” Ginger answered naturally while opening the front door and gently putting you and Jack out “And you two better not show up here before the morning.” Before both of you even had the chance to answer, Ginger closed the door. You and Jack just looked at each other and laughed before going to the car.

---------------------

Safe to say that the night was running perfectly: a little walk around the city while talking about the most random things possible, a good dinner in a fancy restaurant, and the last stop was on a comfortable suite in a luxury hotel. Jack never failed to deliver amazing date nights.

“I have to give you the reason this time.” You said while playing with his hair, sitting sideways on his lap “We really needed to get out of home a little bit.”

“I thought you believed more in my observing skills.” Jack chuckled and kissed your shoulder, keeping his arms around your waist.

“I believe them.” You said calmly and looked away. Jack frowned and caressed your back.

“What’s the matter, honey?” he asked softly, making you look back at him.

“If I ask you something, can you give me an honest answer?” after he nodded, you took a deep breath before questioning “How bad is it?”

“You mean?” Jack asked with a confused look.

“My appearance since I gave birth.” You said calmly, looking away again “I mean, you haven’t made any move since I got cleared by the doctor to have sex again, not even tonight.” Your declaration for sure got Jack off guard, and Jack needed to ponder for a moment before answering.

“Honey, you’re turning this inside out.” He started calmly and kissed your cheek “First things first, don’t you think I don’t want you desperately because I do. The thing is, I know you’ve been dealing with a lot in the last few months. I know you still mulling over the fact that you had to go into a c-section and that the scar annoys you really much, so, the most I desire you, I’d never turn this into another thing to bother you, sugar.” Jack cupped your cheek with his hand, making you look at him “I’m fine with wait as long as it’s necessary. I want you to feel good about yourself and enjoy it, so, if you need four more months for that, I’ll wait. You’re the love of my life, the mother of my little princess, nothing is more important to me than your happiness.”

You couldn’t disguise your slight shock with all the information you received. You didn’t expect him to know so well what was going on in your mind, Jack for sure always had been a good observer, but you were sure that you had managed to keep your thoughts to yourself.

“I wasn’t expecting that.” You admitted with a surprised smile, settling better on his lap, getting mounted on his thighs, and resting your hands on his shoulders.

“C’mon, sugar, if you had taken a single look at your ass after you gave birth, I wouldn’t need to tell you all that.” You couldn’t hold back a hearty laugh, shaking your head.

“I hate you sometimes, Jack.” You said while still smiling, observing the smirk on his lips.

“Hate me as much as you want, but you can’t deny that my techniques are effective.” He answered in the cocky manner you loved so much and rested his hands on your thighs.

“You might have a point, but now back to business.” You said while settling better on his lap “I don’t think I’ll need four more months.”

“I’m seeing that, honey.” Jack raised his eyebrows, still smirking and moving his hands up on your body “Especially having your cleavage so close to my face.” He said while cupping your breasts softly.

“I didn’t hear your complaint about it.” You said with a sideways smile while undoing his tie and starting to unbutton his shirt.

“I’d never be that crazy, mainly now with this whole breastfeeding thing doing wonders here.” He said quietly, leaning forward to kiss the skin of your breasts that was exposed on your cleavage.

“You had no single crumb of decency left.” You said in a chuckle “I like it.”

“I know you do.” He said looking up to you, moving one hand to the back of your neck, and kissing you passionately.

And it was more than enough for you to forget any possible concern left.

You allowed yourself to dive in on the moment, enjoying the feeling of Jack’s hands and body all over you. Without even realizing it, you kept what you were doing before, getting rid of his shirt and moving your hands down to undo his belt. Also, not wasting time, Jack moved one hand to the zipper of your dress, opening it and taking it off your body without a second thought, promptly doing the same with your underwear. You moaned quietly when he placed you lying on your back on the bed, caressing the sides of your body and looking at you with a wide smile.

“You’re so beautiful, honeybee. I love you so much.” He whispered close to your mouth, biting your bottom lip and moving forward to kiss your neck slowly, making you unable to do anything but grab his hair and sigh loudly.

Despite his growing desire, Jack held himself back, moving slowly down your body and touching your body gently, aware that you were still very sensitive, not only on the physical aspect. But that didn’t prevent him from savoring every inch of your skin, kissing and nibbling every place he could reach, making you squirm and moan quietly, pulling his hair without even noticing.

Once he reached your lower stomach, Jack couldn’t prevent himself from kissing the scar of your c-section as he always had been tempted to do, not only to remind you that there was nothing wrong with it or because it had been the solution for you and the baby to get out from the labor safely but because he genuinely found it beautiful. You could feel your heart racing a bit while feeling all his attention tuned to that spot you’ve tried to avoid so much the last months.

When Jack finally moved to where you desperately needed him, you couldn’t contain your reflex of squeezing his head between your thighs while whimpering audibly and pulling his hair. And, Jack being Jack, loved your genuine reaction and of course, he would do his best to make you react even more, turning all his attention to your sensitive throbbing clit, while letting his fingertips circle your wet entrance.

At that point you were all messed up, contorting on the bed, pulling his hair, arching your back, and unable to contain your moans. Being away from him on the sexual field for four months certainly hadn’t helped with your self-control, but Jack wasn’t being exactly cooperative while smoothly sliding his fingers inside you and curling them to hit that precise spot that never failed to make you lose your composure. And it wouldn’t be different that time.

You just focused on enjoying every feeling you could get from the moment, noticing your involuntary movements getting more intense but unable to control them. You tangled your fingers in Jack’s hair, pulling it hard and squeezing his head even more between your thighs as you got taken aback by that intense orgasm. Jack smiled satisfied seeing you melted on the bed with your breath out of rhythm.

Calmly, he moved on the bed to lay at your side, caressing your face softly. You opened your eyes slowly and looked at him with a satisfied smile.

“Don’t look at me like that, you’re already pretty enough without making any effort.” He said quietly and kissed you softly, making you moan when you tasted yourself on his lips.

“I have a doubt.” You said quietly against his lips “Why haven’t you got rid of your vacuum-packed jeans yet?” he chuckled and shook his head.

“You’re getting way too audacious, little lady.” Jack said with a smirk but didn’t hesitate to get rid of his remaining clothes.

“You’re too well-behaved tonight for my taste.” You teased as he crawled on the bed, getting on top of you.

“Can you blame me? I have the most beautiful lady with me, of course, I’ll behave well.” He teased back with that charming smirk.

“You need to take it easy with your flirt.” You said while passing your arms around his neck.

“Now you’re asking for too much.” He said as if it was serious and leaned to kiss you.

You whimpered quietly as you felt him moving slowly inside you, and sank one hand on his hair, tightening your other arm around his neck even though your whole body relaxed with that amazing feeling.

“You’re okay, honey?” Jack asked quietly against your lips while caressing your waist. You just nodded and kissed him again, starting to get highly needy of him once more.

Jack for sure was caught off guard by your reaction, but followed your rhythm, kissing you passionately while caressing and groping every part of your body he could reach, feeling his heart racing considerably, not only for the physical effort, but because have you so relaxed into the moment after all the harsh moments you had been through could make Jack cry genuine happy tears if he thought too much about it.

If you had to say, you wouldn’t remember when you had hooked your legs on Jack’s hips, wanting him the closest possible from you. When both of you needed a moment to catch a breath, you for sure got slightly melted when Jack rested his forehead on yours, looking deep into your eyes. Conscious about the emotional and psychological weight all of that had on you, Jack wouldn’t waste the chance to remind you of how much he loved and appreciated you.

“You’re so amazing, honeybee. I love you so much.” His velvety voice whispering that by itself was already enough to affect you, but with his warm brown gaze staring straight into your eyes, it for sure had hit you a hundred times harder, making you unconsciously pull him closer with your legs and arms.

Seeing you craving for him that much, Jack allowed himself to move slightly faster and move one of his hands over your skin more intensely, while the other moved down to between your legs, rubbing your clit at the same pace of his thrusts, turning you into a complete mess of moans, whimpers, and spasms, giving him an incredible opportunity of ruin your rationality even more.

“My pretty lady is enjoying herself so much.” Jack kept his low tone, aware of its effects on you “You look so beautiful like that, sweetheart, even more than you already usually do.” He moved his free hand to your face, gently holding your jaw to keep your face the closest possible of his, wanting all your attention just to push you even closer to your limit “You feel so good, sugar, and I love you so much, I could never ask for a better wife.”

That hit you harder than you could ever imagine.

The incredible feeling of finally having his body joined to yours again for itself was already more than you could bear, but that amount of praising was definitely more than you could deal with. You could only surrender to the incredible number of feelings, scratching the back of his neck and pulling his hair as you moaned loudly and closed your eyes hard, feeling your legs trembling slightly as you enjoyed your orgasm.

Jack was having a tough time trying to contain himself and, when he saw that astonishing vision of you moaning and contorting under his body, he just sank his face on the curve of your neck and groaned hoarsely against your skin as he came inside you.

After being able to recover his breath and rationality, Jack leaned to the side, pulling you close to his chest, kissing your forehead, and caressing your back. You still were boneless and lazy, so the most you could do was nestle against him and look at him with a soft and happy expression, sighing when he caressed your cheek.

“It’s so good to see this adorable look on your face again.” He said calmly, still caressing your cheek.

“I think you’ll need to plan a few more date nights for us.” You said while letting your fingers draw senseless forms on his skin.

“Trust me, sugar. I already have another twenty plans.” Jack winked at you with a smirk and pressed a soft kiss on your lips.

Cowboytober Masterlist

[boggsart]

EXCUSE ME who told you you’re talking too much about your art?? Dude that’s the part I love most!! I like hearing about how you struggled to get it where you wanted, or how much the tools you’re working with frustrated you, but you got to a place you were happy with anyway.

I don’t know anything about 3d animation, and I know even less about game design. So it’s really important for me that you describe your process and how much work you had to do because it your work context. I’m sorry anybody made you feel like that wasn’t valuable. I’d argue that’s more valuable than the finished work itself!!

I always love seeing your posts pop up on my dash. And Wolffe and the 104th look absolutely fantastic in the newest one!! If you don’t mind me asking, what were some of the weird issues you ran into in the 104th’s one, and what makes them different issues from the ones you ran into before?

Thank you so much for all the kind words, but to be completely honest, they are kinda right. I think any artist can relate to the feeling of being too critical towards your own work. I tend to overexaggerate mistakes, or point out issues that aren't even really noticable to someone that knows little about this field. But at the same time, i always have a vision of how i'd like my current work to look like, and when i don't meet my own expectations (which i rarely do), that's when i start yapping. Well there were some minor ones, like noticing how some of the armors were not modeled accurately( like around the shoulder part of the chest piece, it's completely missing that part where it connects the front to the back, elbow pieces are way too big, helmets were also not modeled accurately, etc). I also completely messed up the rigging process, thus giving myself so much more work when animating. There are always certain body parts that just go into eachother (lower arm going into the upper arm when it's bent, feet going into the floor, hands going into the chest, etc) that could have been easily avoidable if i took the time to make a proper rig for my models.

There are also always some texturing mistakes, or wrongly placed focal points i notice once the final render is done. In this one, once all of the characters come up, and the camera starts zooming in on their faces, the focal point was placed too far, resulting in some parts of the helmets looking blurrier, than they should look. Since renders take a whole lot of time, i always try to fix this by putting the final renders into a 3rd party AI upscaling program, instead of going back to place it correctly, then re render it. That's probably a crappy workflow, but if this project wouldn't have a deadline that's approaching WAY TOO QUICKLY, and i wouldn't have a lot more stuff to model and animate, i would do the latter. At the same time, i probably should just pay more attention before hitting the render button lol. Also, the movements of the characters sometimes look way too stiff, and don't have that fluidity to them. I haven't been animating for long, so here's the reason for that, at the same time tho, i'm noticing some impovements when comparing the recent piece to my first animation. These are the problems i'm running into most of the time. In the recent one though, if you look closely, once Wolffe goes into his stance (after the commander Wolffe text disappeares) there's some weird black flickering going on around his chest/belly area, that for the love of God, i could not fix. Sometimes the particle system can cause some really interesting issues, that most of the time can be fixed by baking the dynamics. Since i did that (multiple times, deleting them, then re baking) and the issue persisted, i started to think either the shaders, or the particle system+volumetric fog combo was causing this problem. I also use a s*** ton of REALLY powerful lights, with the power constantly changing throughout the entire animation, that could also be causing this issue (i think?) I tried re-placing the cube that's making the volumetric fog, tried placing the lights and camera slightly elsewhere, but nothing worked, so i just decided to leave it as it is. The super slow mo parts are being made in the Non Linear Animation editor, which is... just as confusing as it sounds lol. Making the slow mo parts sometimes causes the blasters to disappear then reappear at the wrong time. The way grabbing the blasters then putting them away works is by having one blaster that's always parented to one hand, and one, that's always parented to the holster, and you change the visibility accordingly. (the moment the character pulls the blaster out of the holster, both blasters have to be perfectly alligned so the change in visibility doesn't have a weird jump in it) The visibility itself gets an action strip on its own, and it's hard to line them up correctly once you chopped up all your other strips and scaled them to make them slow motion. Because if the armature's action strip gets chopped up and scaled to make the movement slow motion, then everything else that has movement linked to it has to as well. So lights, the camera, the empty axes that the camera is parented to, and the blasters as well. This could be achieved by just placing the keyframes further apart from eachother, but i found this method to be somewhat simpler.

I'm probably doing this the wrong way though and could just place the keyframes accordingly without pushing the blaster action down to the NLA editor (cuz after all it's just visibility, not slow motion movement the blaster has). Though i have some really cool ideas with blasters in the upcoming animations, that would probably require to have them as NLA strips. Or maybe not, and everything i'm doing and talking about is bullshit, and isn't the way it should be done, and i really hope someone, that's in the industry doesn't read this and go "what the f is this woman talking about" lol. Basically everything about animating confuses the hell out of me, and i'm always doing stuff on the trial and error basis. So i hope one day i'll be able to learn it properly haha See, i'm yapping way too much after all. And i'm sorry for the long answer, but i'm really really passionate about this. And it actually feels so nice to know that there are people out there that care. 💖💖

[fincalinde]

asking you about... wen qing

I will admit that WQ is actually one of the characters I've thought about the least, because she has minimal impact on the characters I'm personally invested in. That said, of course I've done some close reading because I am a super mega nerd and I do have thoughts.

I actually feel bad for WQ as a character, not just within the narrative but in the context of how she appears to be treated by fandom. The yassification of female characters is so depressing to me and she's probably one of the characters who suffers most under fandom's misguided and yet utterly relentless commitment to its own brand of frustratingly regressive progressivism.

Normally all my meta is grounded firmly in MDZS, but I do have to mention CQL here to underline my point. There's an abortive romance arc introduced between WQ and JC in CQL, and while (reasons behind that particular decision aside) I have no issue with that change in theory, it's directly responsible for one of the two main fandom-sanctioned WQ takes.

Take One (thanks CQL)

WQ is a badass awesome lady yeah! She pegs JC all night long because penetration is empowering!

Take Two (actually I'd blame CQL for this too except fandom loves doing this to all female characters regardless)

WQ is a badass awesome lesbian yeah! She's in a lesbian relationship with [insert female character du jour here] because she is a lesbian and that's empowering!

In case you can't tell, I have minimal patience for this sort of thing. Everyone has the right to write and enjoy whatever they like, but in my own space I have the right to highlight fandom trends and interpretations that I feel are unsupported. A lot of my frustration stems from the very fact that they are trends. Individual fics and meta posts are rarely the issue. The issue is that it's so difficult to find anything that is actually textually-grounded.

Anyway, the WQ and JC relationship in CQL is actually quite a mature depiction of two people who have an interest in each other and ultimately recognise that a relationship would not only be impractical, but that neither of them are the type to forgo their other loyalties and responsibilities for each other. Quite a neat parallel to Xiyao and contrast to Wangxian, actually. Overlooking these challenges in favour of centring the question of who is penetrating whom doesn't do either character justice. Pegging is all good fun, but its prevalence with this particular pairing is something that raises my eyebrow. I am deeply wary of analysis that looks at the power dynamic of a relationship, concludes that the woman has the stronger personality, and equates that with the man being the receiving partner.

As for WQ being a lesbian, from what I can tell this originates in theory from WQ being alone with JYL one time in CQL (gasp) coupled with fandom's insatiable need to make every single female character a lesbian regardless of whether the text supports it or not. And I'd be truly interested in a resistant read or a speculative fic that is canon consistent and depicts WQ as a lesbian; in MDZS especially we know nothing about her orientation. And yet what I see  is not thoughtful explorations of gaps in the text. It's muddy hobnail boots all over the text and the result is rarely nuanced or convincing. WQ and her partner du jour are reduced to a superficial collection of traits only tenuously connected to the source at best, and more often than not they are also supporting characters, existing within a fic merely to cheerlead the m/m couple and nominally tick a box on the representation checklist.

This post is quite harsh so I'll reiterate: I'm not speaking about any particular person or fic here. I'm speaking about trends. The problem is one of quantity as much as it is quality. If I could find a reasonable percentage of content with a solid grounding in the source material I would be very happy, but the ratio is just absolutely horrendous.

Getting back to what is actually present in the text, WQ is an incredibly resilient character. She's trying to balance her loyalty to her clan with her own ethics and the wellbeing of her brother and she does as well as anyone can in the circumstances. I like that she isn't necessarily the Actually Good Wen and that she isn't secretly working against WRH. She doesn't really like what he's doing but she understands the reality of her position and she's trying to work with that. I always respect that in a character because I find it much less interesting when someone wearing protagonist armour comes smashing through the plot (WWX, we'll get to you later).

[angryaromantics]

hi. i need help. i understand you're not a professional so i hope this isn't too heavy but i've been needing and needing to talk to someone about my internalized arophobia and never had a real chance to do it.

anyways, i've been really lost and hopeless over the past couple years because of my aromanticism. identifying as demiromantic was a cover, but even when i thought that was the full extent of my place on the aro spectrum, i hated how hard that made it to find romantic love. now i know better and think i'm probably a lot closer to fully aromantic than i thought, and by extension i'd be cupioromantic too. i've forced crushes before, since i knew they came so rarely. that ended in repulsion and an inability to communicate it just about every time. it sucked. it still sucks.

the thing that makes me feel alone is that i haven't seen anyone else in the aro community express how i feel, and those i have are saying that i shouldn't talk about it since it's technically still arophobia, even if it's towards myself, and could hurt other arospec people. then they go on to say that it's just amatonormativity and something i can get over. but i don't want to!! i know that i want a fulfilling relationship!! i'm frustrated and it feels like an erasure of how i feel!!

i'm sure it'll be damning and maybe offensive to say this but i feel like i need to be fixed and i wish i could fix myself. my desires don't match with my real attraction and it leads me to believe i'm broken in a somehow unique way. i guess it'd be nice to find a community of other cupio-aligned people and build pride for who i am, but i'm just depressed because that won't solve my problem. who i am isn't who i want to be, and i can't change that or better it in any way. i'm hurting because of it. i fear my activity in sapphic spaces is just performative since i'll never actually be sapphic, or straight, or anything. why bother if i'll never know that experience and have the happy endgame with another girl that i truly do want? am i even really bi? could i just be a lesbian if i only experience sexual attraction to girls but no other type to any other group of people? or am i just clinging onto any other orientation label to deny that i'm aromantic and don't belong in the LGB parts of queer spaces? i hate this.

thanks for letting me vent. sorry this is so long. thanks for running your blog, i really appreciate it.

Hi, anon - I apologize, I've found this in my drafts folder, and I have absolutely no idea how long it's been there. Hopefully not too long, but either way, I'm sorry I missed it.

I think the first thing is, I don't believe feelings are ever the incorrect response. You can't control your emotions. If being aromantic makes you feel negative feelings, that's okay. It's normal even. I definitely felt that way for many years, and occasionally slip into it now. I don't think it much matters if it's internalized arophobia or amatanormativity, because either way, the effect it has on you is the same.

I will say, I think the aro community has sort of over-corrected in the way we deal with negativity surrounding aromanticism. I feel like, not even that many years ago, it was rampant. A LOT of the posts, a lot of the talk, was about a lack, of what we're missing out on, etc. Especially once the big aphobia boom around here. And I think people took that, and about faced it so that negativity isn't deemed acceptable by a lot of people. I disagree with this, just fundamentally. I think talking through the negativity you feel toward your orientation can help you work through that negativity. It can also help you find like-minded people, and feeling less alone will probably make you feel less negativity.

I do think it's a dangerous line to walk, though. Because it's easy to tip over into All negativity in such insular communities, and that can honestly be dangerous for everyone's mental health.

I hope you find some peace. I hope you come into yourself. I hope things settle, as they often do with time. I'm sorry none of this has an easy fix. I hope writing it down and getting it off your chest helped. There's nothing wrong with you, and you belong here <2

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

Do you have any tips for navigating the Ada Wong tag here, or at least, curating it? (I know there's a point where I have to just ignore things, but it can get frustrating.)

I feel like 40% of her tag is harsh criticisms of her character or general shaming of Aeon as a ship. Or both, as a justification for why the ship is bad/doesn't make sense. (But like, if it doesn't make sense, why do I rarely see these kinds of posts for ships like Chris/Wesker or Ethan/Heisenberg?) Like it's always one of the RE women. I don't even like Cleon and I see the same thing happening!

I haven't been in the RE fandom long, but have people just disliked Ada or something for a while? Is it cause like, we don't really know much about her? I know she's not one of the main characters who's outwardly good, but even Wesker gets so much love in comparison. It sucks cause I guess I wish the Resident Evil women were treated the same way as the male characters and it's kind of frustrating. You're like, the only blog I've seen that loves Ada content this much, so I'm kind of just like dang, how do you deal with it lol?

hihi!!!

maybe i've just been curating my feed for so long now, but i've only seen an uptick (of hate) since separate ways came out- but generally i don't see many posts about ada that are just harsh (hate) i'm gonna say hate cause i do allow criticisms of her character- but generally i will skim peoples blogs- see if they provide anything useful (they usually don't) and then block.

i think there's always just been more criticisms of ada because she's an east asian woman and not seen as a submissive character. she's flawed and has faults and MEN and WOMEN don't like that. people don't understand that and need female characters to be blank slates to self insert into. the way they demonize ada but uplift other female re characters because of their "innocence," is also fucking disturbing as hell (also yeah, they do mean "innocence.")

also wesker gets love cause he's a man. male characters always get special privileges when it comes to being actually bad evil characters. male characters in media are continuously "simped" over and defended on their horrible actions, but the second a woman does "ONE THING BAD" she's labeled gone girl or something like that.

analyzing media and how gender roles affect how we interpret characters is something i heavily talk about on my page! how if genders were reversed for aeon, people would NOT be having this type of discourse.

also final point but i have been on the internet for a long time and had to have a backbone lol. i got hate anons 5 days into this blog EXISTING. i was literally just here trying to vibe and got so much hate in the first week of this blog. most of it from cl*on shippers that told me that aeon sucks and that cleon was more valid. and then i've also gotten lots of racist anons and sexist anons. lots of calling ada horrible things. but if anything- it kinda shows me that i'm on the better side of things since i don't need to resort to this kind of behaviour to enjoy my time in the re fandom

i mostly only post things that i love about aeon

and that's mostly what i will try to be posting- maybe i will occasionally complain about something but yeah lol

tl;dr just block almost everyone, mute tags immediately, enjoy your time online!

[kevin-the-bruyne]

cant believe big dragon would be something i need to sit with/sleep on. really the most confusing part for me last ep was their conversation because what were they even saying? it was like everything they said kept flying over each other's head and it was so frustrating because it felt like they had their points and were having roughly the same conversation but also...not? and i have to thank @lelephantsnail for her tags on my post because it really helped streamline my thought about this.

this kind of subtle and nuanced form of miscommunication is not only unprecedented in thai bl but rare in media overall. however, it happens all the time in real life - where you are having a conversation and you understand each other's words perfectly but not each other's meaning/perspective.

b/c the truth is as fuckboi extraordinaires they have different stakes in this issue of Mangkorn's engagement and they're both right to prioritize their own skin in this game - in fact it's the healthy thing to do.

So some of the critical points of miscommunication in this convo (according to me) under the cut

whether or not to share this secret:

this was hard because on one hand mangkorn is trying to set a boundary and he does it in a fairly decent way: there's something im dealing with and i need time to deal with this and ill tell you everything when im ready. But...this is a fairly insane boundary to set with your lover esp when this 'problem' directly affects your relationship. Yai is right to demand to know more because you cannot deal with a problem affecting a relationship one-sidedly. But Mangkorn is also operating here in good faith - he has no intention of betraying Yai, he has all intentions of being with him so why does he have to admit something that will make yai misunderstand and leave him? Mangkorn wants a chance because being duplicitous is not his intention or his goal and its not fair that Mangkorn has to sacrifice his chance at love because of something that was decided for him. But Yai needs a chance too! A chance to decide if he wants to pursue this relationship despite the risks. And this is a good thing! Perhaps putting your life on hold for the dude you've been hate pining over and had one night of hate-love fucking is not the best idea! And thinking about his own heart and impending heartbreak is the right move.

He corners Mangkorn into telling him and Mangkorn tries his best to curtail the pitfalls - you'll understand me, right? im scared you'll leave me so you'll stay by my side right? - and Yai's answer 'its better than knowing nothing' isn't a promise that he will stay with Mangkorn. He's saying that at this point the only chance Mangkorn has of keeping him is by telling the truth. But Mangkorn hears what he needs to hear to tell Yai the truth. And so when Yai's reaction is this:

When Yai's first reaction is to think about himself and not focus on how difficult this situation is for Mangkorn (which it is!) it feels like a huge betrayal!

I had warned him it wasn't going to be easy and he reassured me we will be fine (he hadnt) so why is he saying this to me now? All I'm asking is for him to keep faith so why is he assuming the worst of me?

and Yai isn't assuming the worst of Mangkorn but of the situation itself but you can understand why Mangkorn feels so attacked because he's all raw and vulnerable from sharing something he did not want to share and his partner has reacted in exactly the way he was afraid of the most despite him saying he wouldn't react in that way (yai hasn't said anything of the sort)

And then being classic fuckbois - which honestly relatable - they say the absolute worse thing they could have to each other:

its like they picked the one thing the other was most insecure about and threw it in their faces which honestly was almost comic. they have tried for this long to talk like normal human beings and at the most critical moment of showing support and reaffirming commitment - they both default to their baser instincts of running away from hard things [which fair lmao].

And l love that they are able to call each other out on it! That they don't take the stoic okay that's done then bye! route. Mangkorn expresses what's hurting him - you're my partner and you're supposed to support me - and yai expresses whats hurting him - was giving me a choice in this relationship ever important to you? And of course Mangkorn just gets down to it. Things are spiraling and there's really one way out of this where they can stay together: that despite all the hurtful things they just said to each other - is there a way out of this together Yai knows what Mangkorn needs to hear but Yai answers in a way that is consistent with what he's shown is important to him: honesty and god is it heartbreaking and the way Bank plays it here is so GOOD

So no this conversation achieves nothing and narratively the two characters will engage in the terrible decision making that they would have had they not been so real with each other - Mangkorn will try to run away and Yai tries to distract himself. But boy, if they are to come back to each other in a way that feels realistic and not in a fantastical 'true love conquers all' copout way that can really only ever happen in stories, then having this conversation was absolutely critical.

[asksds]

Part 1 | Next

Previous events

((This page was pretty much exclusively asset-flipping from the Clip Studio Asset Store. Materials used: City | Sky | Rain, the latter two get regular use across the entire thing.))

((MOM HOLY FUCK it's finally here!! I'll ramble a bit about it under a Readmore - but this one is 17 pages so more than 2 weeks of updates to look forward to! Yay! Return back to regular asks is nearing!))

((This really was such a particular roadblock for me and I think I have pinpointed 2 big reasons as to why it took THIS long:

I'd been thinking about it and layouting it in my head previously for years pretty much, and if you're an artist you know that overblown expectations like that can rarely be met by reality. Not getting to execute it like I imagined was a little frustrating so that made it harder to work on it

Turns out I was just helplessly overworked/kinda burned out from my job lol. The only time I could really get down to work on this was when I had any longer vacation, and we had a gigantic project at work spanning like 2-3 years that really went into overdrive last year with me pulling 10-hour-days for months basically. That left me no time and energy to really do anything else in the evening, and I'm pretty sure that impacted me until now since I could only finish this entire thing when I had another vacation and finally like...felt relaxed enough to draw?? and have fun doing it?? and have IDEAS?? It felt like I hadn't had ideas or motivation in years so that was a nice surprise, but also abolish jobs man I just wanna draw OCs and their shenanigans...

I'm really glad it's done, it did contribute to my posting anxiety to be honest where I felt bad posting anything because in my head I was like :( People will get mad if I do something else instead of work on this (ridiculous but you know how brains get. Like mate I drew a bunch of things for con prep and got too guilty to post any of it aaah) + for dramatic effect I didn't want to spam too many other asks inbetween which is why that grinded to a halt. Either way, it's done, it might not be perfect, it might show that it has spanned a very long time via some style changes between panels but what matters is that it's finished and I'm happy with it! If you read this (kudos) hope you enjoy, hope you have a great day and upcoming week, stay safe and hydrated in this hellweather, and remember the joy of creation because it's what makes life worth living!!))

[ronearoundblindly]

Ro's Bi-Weekly Edit

May 21st - June 3rd, 2023

In case you missed it, here's a roundup of the fics and ficlets posted this past two weeks!

Below the cut are links and snippets from 4 works from 3 series.

Plans, part one of Time & Tines Steve Rogers x villain!Reader

Steve tilts the tea in your direction. “Here’s hoping you didn’t waste truth serum on me,” he cheers. “Might be the only drug completely useless both after and before Erskine’s formula.” You’re amused, a smirk lifting fading, dark lips. “Ah yes. Good, honest Captain America.” “To a fault.” “No.” Your seriousness stops him cold, and Steve’s smile fades. “It’s not a fault. You’re just rare.” You value honesty. He can work with that.

Too Eager, a Bedrock and Blueprints tale, Rated Mature Ari Levinson x best friend!Reader

“Let’s get you comfy, okay?” He rolls the zipper of your skirt down at your side and yanks it free slowly. He runs his hands up your body and back, under your blouse, to unhook your bra, ghosting a kiss to your clothed chest before sitting back up to tug at your tights. He didn’t say anything about you only taking your shoes off at the edge of the couch, which means Ari is being remarkably controlled for how much he hates shoes in the house. As he playfully shimmies the long and frustrating tubes of nylon over your feet, you sit up to pull off everything up top, letting the blouse and bra drop to the floor and crossing your arms over your bare chest. “Cold?” You nod, and Ari takes off his own t-shirt right there to help you into. It’s warm from his body and each fiber smells deeply of a decade of comfort. His hands return to holding your thighs. “Better?” Yes, but you don’t want to talk about it.

Sad Sack, a Common Education drabble Jimmy Dobyne x professor!Reader

"Is this because of one paper? Did something happen in another class?" You stop yourself from ripping the smoke right out of his mouth so he'll look you in the eye. Jimmy shakes his head and does it for you, rolling his tongue over chapped lips and then holding them in. "No, ma'am." You relax a little, waiting for him to elaborate. You're waiting the whole time Jimmy mulls over his cigarette. He takes out a lighter and then thinks better of it and shoves it back in his pants, leaving the hand buried in his pocket. "Can't have you thinking of me like that," he mumbles. "Like what if I just get worse? What if I'm stupid and...I don't want you to see me that way."

Reversal Point, part five of Threadbare Steve Rogers x fashion designer!Reader

It’s Hellfire Night. There’s a crackle of road gravel as the limousine pulls right up to your curb, but you don’t see Steve first. Sam Wilson pops his head and torso out of the sunroof with a beaming white smile. “Ah yes, the woman of the hour,” he coos before glancing back down into the backseat. “Close your mouth, buddy. You’re gonna swallow a bug.” You giggle and approach the shiny black car. The door latch opens from the inside. “You look ama—“ Thud. Steve whacks his head on the door rim trying to step out. “Oh gosh, are you okay?” You make it to him just as Steve stands up straight on the sidewalk. It’s easy and instinctive, meant to be, the way his hands settle against your arms and sweep down to hold your delicately gloved hands. “You’re stunning,” Steve whispers. “That’s not a concussion talking?” “He’ll survive,” Sam yells from inside the car. “Pretty sure he ran through several solid walls just to get to the showers after our run.” “It was one glass door and I didn’t see it close after Davis,” Steve barks over his shoulder.  You tick your head up toward your apartment. “You and the windows, handsome. Not friends, huh?” He rolls his glittering blue eyes playfully, huffing, “Don’t you start.”

[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[mrbensonmum]

TV Shows - CSI: Las Vegas VII

I had to take a little writing break because my wrists were starting to feel the strain from all the writing (I have to write a lot for uni, and I also need to fill up my own page). But of course, I didn't stop watching CSI: Las Vegas, and that's why we're already in the middle of Season Four!

You can tell by now that the characters have become very well-established and developed. Many of them don't seem as young and inexperienced anymore, and that even applies to Greg. I find him the most interesting here because he has developed to the point where he's even taken out into the field, and we know that he'll soon leave the lab and go into the field. He hasn't left behind his outgoing nature but has used it to progress. His exceptional knowledge about various things also comes in handy!

Nick and Sara are now applying for a higher CSI class, and they are overshadowed by Catherine, as Grissom assigns her an important case. She brings in Greg, which further frustrates Nick and Sara. However, by the end of this episode, you can see that, due to past episodes, it's no longer just a team here but rather friends in a somewhat familial relationship (even their time together during breaks or after cases shows this). Because it's patched up, you understand why it was Catherine and why she brought in Greg. (Nick and Sara have another story connecting them, but that's more related to the actors, but more on that later!)

At the beginning, it was still a bit rough, and sometimes even a bit rough when switching between cases. But this is absolutely not criticism at this point, just an observation. Because this has also been ironed out more and more, and you always switch at just the right moment, so one case doesn't "wear out," and you have to immediately deal with the other one. As a viewer, you're always kept on your toes, which is good because with crime series that handle only one case, this can sometimes be very exhausting over the intended 45 minutes. This danger rarely exists here.

One of the big mysteries of the series has now also been revealed; we know who Catherine's father is. The casino mogul Sam Brown! Catherine found this out about Greg with a not entirely legal DNA investigation, and of course, Sam Brown immediately tried to bribe her after being acquitted of a murder case. I vaguely remember that there's still a lot to happen here, and I'm curious how the gaps in my memories will be filled. Don't worry, otherwise, I won't get on any Catherine rage train today. Since the episode with her ex-husband and daughter, she has been reformed, and you can see that in her character, which is calmer and even more grounded. Although there are still outbursts sometimes, but that's human!

What we're increasingly seeing now is the famous CSI effect. I've worked with people in the lab for a long time, and it's fascinating what you notice in such a series. It starts with the absolutely wrong use of gloves because when you wear them and work with materials, you absolutely don't touch anything else and don't even touch your hair; it would all contaminate. Then also the quick processing of analyses through various devices, including DNA comparisons. Yes, the operation of the devices is okay, and the devices are real, but everything is very much accelerated, which of course also happens in terms of storytelling. But normally, such analyses would take much longer than shown here. What's really interesting is the many reports that this was actually demanded in the real world by law enforcement agencies because, as you could see here, it's possible. There are also statistics showing that the number of students enrolled in scientific studies has increased. This shows what power and impact such a series can have when it's well done.

I'm considering whether I should also make a post about the music. I wanted to do that with Dr. House, but then I forgot. Because the individual pieces chosen are really good, plus then some scores contribute a lot to the mood of the series and to individual scenes.

Oh, come on, here's a little preview. In the first season and in the famous roller coaster scene of Grissom (the end of season one), you can hear this song, and as far as series go, it's one of my absolute favorites.

[zyrafowe-sny]

What should you do if you feel like loser and absolute waste of space and garbage in the writing community? Like everyone hate you (all the talented well known people at least), your ideas suck, you'll never be popular or get request or anything like that and you'll never have the same amount of friends or support or love as others because you're stupid and annoying and your writing suck and everyone hate you and nothing you do matter? Like you'll never be successful or reach mile stone no matter how much you try like you had opportunity to but you screw it up because you stupid and annoying and dumb and now it's too late?

Hi Anon,

I don't really feel qualified to respond, but I'm going to give it a go anyway and hope that any of this is helpful.

The "writing community" is anyone who wants to try their hand at writing. It includes both the second grader putting together a handmade book during rainy day recess and the award-winning, bestselling professional author. There's no cap to the number of writers. There's no such thing as a waste of space.

"Hate" seems like an awfully strong word. I know it's frustrating when fics don't get the engagement that you want - and don't get attention from people you admire - but sometimes fics have a niche audience and sometimes people are busy. Personally, I've had stretches when I just can't read much at all or only very specific things (like stuff under 3k and nothing too intellectual). Reasons include: life being busy, general executive dysfunction, (rare) stretches when I am super-focused on writing, not wanting to read things too similar to what I'm working on, etc. For several months I just felt overwhelmed by the thought of leaving thoughtful comments and that tricked me into just not reading at all (don't be like me).

Popularity is... complicated. "Success" is complicated. If you're just looking at kudos... a not insignificant chunk is being in the right fandom at the right time (while also writing what lots of people are interested in). Here's a good overview about writing for kudos and how that doesn't relate to quality. You can have super-interesting ideas, but sometimes those ideas have a small audience (and that's ok if that's the story that speaks to you!). Honestly, I think all writers need to write at least one super-niche fic to readjust expectations about AO3 stats.

As for requests... Not all writers like getting them and not all readers like making requests? If I see that someone shared a prompt list ask game post, I'll send an ask, but that's usually it.

As for getting support... sometimes it can come from outside your fandom and from Internet strangers (or real life people in writing groups). I've been trying out this WIP Wednesday game because I wanted some encouragement to make progress, and a good chunk of people who nudge me to write don't follow me and won't ever read the final fic.

As for writing quality... That's also complicated. For one, people have different tastes (my eyes start to glaze over during long fight scenes or long descriptions, but other people eat that up). There are seemingly more-objective criteria (spelling, grammar, etc), BUT: people's knowledge of "the rules" isn't static and can be improved, sometimes it's fine to ignore "the rules" for style, lots of non-native English speakers write fanfic and that can lead to some charming (if less standard) writing, and one of the joys of fanfic is that it doesn't have to follow the norms of published fiction. If there is something that you want to work on in your own writing (for example, description and plot don't come easily to me), there are ways to practice. But only if you want to. Only if it's part of the fun. (Fun doesn't always mean easy.)

As for milestones... I don't know what milestones you're going for, but word count is the one most in your control. Getting that up isn't trivial, but the important thing is to keep chugging along.

I *know* it's hard not to obsess over AO3 stats or compare yourself to other people. I *know*. But try to remember that it's not a race or a competition. Writing is supposed to be fun (as much as writers like to complain about it sometimes). It's fine to want validation and encouragement, but stressing too much about the numbers/how much engagement you're getting can suck all the fun out of the process.

And it's never, ever too late. I took a loooong break from creative writing and sometimes I regret that, but I had other life experiences during that hiatus that help inform my writing now. We write when we have stories to tell and the life circumstances that let the words come out.

I don't know if any of my rambling was useful, but I wish you all the best, Anon. Take care and be kind to yourself. No one else can tell the same story that you can.

[violets-in-her-arms-writes]

This or That? Tag

Thank you for tagging me @writernopal ! You can find her post here, go read it ! 💜 I had a lot of fun developing the answers, sorry if it's all over the place ^^

|| HISTORICAL or FUTURISTIC ||

I love to read historical novels but writing them is waaaayyy above my competence level and I know I would get lost in the research part of it instead of, you know, actually, writing it. So futuristic it is because I can bullshit my way through it.

|| OPENING or CLOSING CHAPTER ||

CLOSING CHAPTER!!! I can't wait to get to the one in La Fledgling! I'm gonna break my own heart, it's going to be great!

|| LIGHT+FLUFFY or DARK+GRITTY ||

I wish I could write light and fluffy things but I can't. It might be pathological at this point. I tried to write a fluffy mermaid AU and Lou drowned in the first chapter, so now I give up. I'll accept my fate.

|| ANIMAL COMPANION or FOUND FAMILY ||

I have to choose animal companion because one of my favourite character (Lorelei, immortal witch, high priestess of Némésis goddess of revenge) has a familiar named Doll. It's a raven who believes himself to be a bird of prey but is actually just... broken. It once tried to incubate a skunk and to eat a cat, so. He can't see windows and can cut through steel with his beak (through sheer determination and will). I love it with all my heart. I've only had him for twelve years, but if anything ever happened to him, I would kill to get him back 🤺🤺🤺

|| HORROR or ROMANCE ||

Romance that becomes horrifying, where you would do anything for your partner, even betraying your values and your faith, to the point where you can't recognize the person looking at you through the mirror. Or where your lover becomes something other and you're not sure how to love her anymore.

(On this not, there's a great novel Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield where one of the woman is marine biologist and comes back to her wife *wrong* after six months lost at sea. It's terrifying, it's great!)

|| HARD MAGIC SYSTEM or SOFT MAGIC SYSTEM ||

Fuck rules. Do whatever you want! Why do dragons exist in my world? Because the god of poison had children with a crocodile metamorph and she gave birth to the dragons, next question! Why is Lorelei's magic different from the others'? Because she's OP and I love her and she's my chosen one! Why can Jo [REDACTED] because. That's it. That's my justification. I do what I want as long as it's fun 💃‍

|| STANDALONE or SERIES ||

I always say I'm gonna write a standalone and I rarely succeed. I blame it on my favourite books I read as a child which were all super long series with like 50 books in it, spanning generations and thousands of years (hi Heralds of Valdemar and The ballad of Pern) I also blame them for making me write dragons and over-powered women. I love you, you're the best, mwah!

|| ONE PROJECT AT A TIME or ALWAYS JUGGLING 2+ ||

I'm always switching between WIPs depending on my mood and my motivation. I can put aside a project for months (hi book 3 of WsT... I'm coming back for you baby, I'm coming back for you!), start three new WIPs, and then go back to one of my ancients projects. Every time I try to persuade myself to only work on one thing I get frustrated and end up not writing at all so I just let my creativity take me wherever. I'm not even a passenger anymore, I'm stuck in the trunk of the car, scribbling madly and trying to understand what's going on. It's not going well.

|| ON AWARD WINNER or ONE BESTSELLER ||

I don't really care about awards. Like sure it'd be nice to know critics and judges liked mu book enough to give me a Hugo or a Nebula or whatever, but what I really want is for *actual people* to love my stories. I hope I can touch at least one person with my silly little characters and their struggles. (Also, I want the fanfics and the fan-arts 😂)

|| FANTASY OR SCI-FI ||

I love sci-fi, especially sci-fi stories where humanity has to leave earth and terraform/colonize other planets, I love exodus. I also love to just write whatever like an archeology student getting kidnapped but an alien sect because they think she can resurrect their leader. And I love fantasy because I love swords, and dragons, and magic, and lesbians (and lesbian dragon shapeshifters with a sword), and prophecies. I love being able to craft a world and society and to just... have fun.

|| CHARACTER DESCRIPTION or SETTING DESCRIPTION ||

I don't do it enough, but I love setting descriptions because it helps paint a picture and you can leave little nuggets of foreshadowing in it. (You can also do it with character description but I think I might be too obvious when I do that XD)

|| FIRST DRAFT or FINAL DRAFT ||

First draft is a pain in the ass but I actually love the process of figuring out what the fuck is going on, who the characters are, what they want, what they need. It's like getting to know someone but sudoku like. If you don't put the numbers in the right order you understand nothing. (It's a bad comparison, I hate sudoku, but you get what I mean). Also, what the fuck is a final draft? I've never met her. i always want to change something even after I'm done. Which is also why publishing scares me so much : what if I want to change something and can't because it's already been printed? Nightmare 😱

|| LOVE TRIANGLE IN EVERYTHING or NO ROMANTIC ARCS ||

I'd rather have no romantic arc ever again than suffer through a poorly written love triangle once again. I'm tired of love triangles. Be original at least and give me a love octagon or something. I don't know dude, make one of them die in a war, her wife mourns then starts dating again and then, she comes back after being MIA for years. Don't make it bland between the dark-haired bad boy and the blond boy next door, please I'm begging you. And if you really can't write any other romance, then please just give me an action novel or a fantasy novel or a horror novel without any romance. Please. No more love triangles.

|| CONSTANT SANDSTORM or RAINSTORM ||

Rainstorm if I'm inside! It's so soothing, especially at night. I love thunder and lightning, I love being comfy in my bed, listening to the rain 🥰

Gently tagging @liv-is, @ladyniniane & @autumnalwalker if you haven't done it yet 😊