#i'm feeling victimized

[unhinged-nymph]

he really said ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[epickiya722]

[navree]

i think more people need to realize that the circumstances of how jason todd died would make him deeply untrusting of not only other people, not only himself and his own instincts, but specifically other people's proclamations of what they feel about/for him and how he reacts to that in turn

[inkskinned]

oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.

oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.

oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.

which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.

but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.

which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.

and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!

and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.

the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!

and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -

what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.

and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.

[gayjaytodd]

just in case you're wondering how bad antisemitism is online by now: my friend had to take down the memorial post she made on IG for her dad and stepmum (who died less than a week ago) bc people were spamming it with "free palestine" and "two less zionists is a good thing" comments

[bonefall]

the worst parent poll made me realize just how many ppl in the fandom are willing to jump straight into abuse apologia. bc on one hand you have ppl dumbing down crow's abuse to "him just being mean" and on the other end you have ppl saying that curlfeather didnt abuse frostpaw because she sacrificed herself and frost + her siblings love her so she couldnt possibly be an abuser. truly mindboggling stuff take these serious topics away from the fandom asap.

Part of me feels like it's because many in this fandom have a feeling that if a character's actions are abusive, it means you're "not allowed" to like them. Like there's an impulse where if you liked a character, it MUST mean they weren't THAT bad, because you'd personally never like "an abuser."

As if it reflects poorly on your own morality, as a person, that you connected with An Abuser. Understood them, even. Even if it was just a character.

If it's immoral to Like Abusive Characters, of course your reaction is going to end up being abuse apologia. To enjoy something isn't logical, it's emotional, so you will get defensive about it when questioned. When you do, it's not going to be based on logic because you didn't reason yourself into that position in the first place. It's an attack on you as a person.

I feel like that's often the root of abuse apologia in this fandom, and sometimes the world at large; "If I admit that this character/person IS abusive, it means I was doing something bad by liking them, so I have to prove to everyone else that they weren't or it means I'm bad too."

And to that I say... That's a BAD impulse! Grow up and admit you resonated with a character that did a bad thing! If that's an uncomfortable thought, sit with it!

Sometimes abusers are likeable! They usually DO think they're justified in their actions, or doing it for "a good reason," or were just too preoccupied to care. MOST of the time, people who commit abusive actions are also hurt or traumatized in some way. You might even empathize with them. None of this means their actions have to be excused or downplayed.

"Abusers" aren't a type of goddamn yokai, they're people just like you and me. You don't help victims of abuse by putting the people who hurt us in an "untouchable" category.

In fact, all it does is make you less likely to recognize your own controlling behavior. You're capable of abuse. People you love are capable of it, too. People who love YOU can still hurt you.

In spite of how often people regurgitate "It's Ok To Like A Character As Long As You're Critical Of Their Actions," every day it is proven to me further and further that no one who says it actually understands what that means.

All that said; I think it's no contest which one's a worse parent, imo.

They both mistreated their children, but Curlfeather did it through manipulation without verbal or physical abuse. She politically groomed her into a position of power so that she could use her as a pawn. It can be argued if this counts as child abuse-- but it's firmly still under the broad category childhood maltreatment, which is damaging.

(though anon I'm with you 100% at seeing RED when "but she sacrificed herself" is used as an excuse. Curlfeather's death does NOT CHANGE what she did to Frostpaw in life. I think it's a valid point to bring up when comparing her to another terrible parent for judgement purposes, such as in the context of this poll, but I really hate the implication that redemption deaths "make up" for maltreatment.)

Crowfeather, meanwhile, is textually responsible for putting Breezepaw through verbal AND physical abuse, as well as child neglect. His motivations include embarrassment from a hurt ego, revenge on his ex, and being sad because of a dead girlfriend. This abuse drives Breezepelt towards radicalization in the Dark Forest.

You could argue Curlfeather is a worse person for Reedwhisker's murder, but as a parent? It's not even a question to me. Crowfeather's one of the worst dads in WC.

[marley-manson]

bonus:

[shalom-iamcominghome]

If you look at jewish people voicing their concerns about antisemitism as anything close to a "victim complex," you're just an antisemite, like... How do two THOUSAND PLUS years of antisemitism around the globe sail over your head so easily.

[theshinysnivy1]

[glitter-stained]

Oh btw!!!!

A fun little addition to the victim-blaming meta:

Yk that thing about agentivity and re-evaluating how much power you have over the world when confronted with the reality mortality? It works exactly the same if you're the one who's the victim btw.

Isn't that fun? This is why there is so much guilt and shame that is so hard to dislodge in trauma victims. "I let it happen because I wasn't good enough" is easier to handle than "It happened to me and there was nothing I could do". It's scarier to be an object than a bad subject.

Look! I'm better now! I was weak, and I was a coward, and I was naive and dumb and not strong enough and not smart enough and I didn't understand how evil the world really was but I'm different now! I'm in control! I do things my own way and my way is different and good and it works! I learned from what happened and I'm stronger and better and it's never gonna happen to me again it's never gonna happen to me again it's never gonna happen to me again it's never-

[tazmiilly]

it is always nice to find another abuse survivor who also felt like ford's story resonated with them. it's nice to feel like there's other people who know what I'm talking about

[buddhistmusings]

Genuinely, and I say this as somebody who is not Jewish, I think a lot of non-Jewish people watch movies, shows, and read books about the Holocaust thinking, "I would have been one of the people who helped hide a Jewish family" or "I would have helped Jewish people escape".

But these people aren't even doing anything to address the very serious atmosphere of antisemitism we're steeped in RIGHT NOW.

The genre of Holocaust entertainment is like some exercise in non-Jewish self-aggrandizement, using the real suffering of Jewish people within living memory to gain pleasure. We're willing to use these stories to entertain ourselves, to make ourselves feel like good people, while the families of these victims (often immediate families) are struggling with antisemitic hatred right here in our own communities.

Please, have some reverence and respect.

[deservedgrace]

this might be a bit scattered and vague because bringing attention to dissociation makes me dissociate more and forget things and struggle to explain stuff lol, but... i feel like evangelicalism kinda teaches you dissociation as a baseline? especially if you're raised in it as a child?

like, arguably equating being human to being sinful, human nature and sin nature being interchangeable phrases for the same concept, convincing people that they need to be separate from sin if they are to be good and therefore need to be separate from being human, calling your wants, needs, emotions, thoughts, etc sinful and needing to repent for simply being human and having a human experience, that "existing in the flesh is not what god intended for us", that almost requires dissociation on some level

but there's also the dissociation from "the world" and "worldly things", from common phrases like "we're in the world not of it", believing that we are so separate and distinct from the world that we're called to "save it", to the belief that this life isn't our "real" life, our "real" life is the one we have with god in heaven

and all of that is just, par for the course, extremely normal beliefs to constantly be exposed to: your human self is not your "real" self, this world is not the "real" world. and that's without even getting into the way they use music, prayer, chanting, etc, to induce hypnotic states and other thought/emotion stopping tactics to disconnect you from your thoughts and emotions if you start feeling or thinking the """wrong""" things

and like, i didn't realize until after i left and long into my mental health journey that my default is dissociation. i thought it was normal to just exist like this because i didn't really have anything to compare it to, especially because i was taught that worldly people were the ones running on autopilot and disconnected to their thoughts, actions, emotions, etc

i just... wonder how common it is, and how many people don't even realize it

[relaxtimestwo]

Kafka 🕸 Witch Hat Atelier AU

It is finally complete! BrimHat!Kafka's character sheet!

If you would like more context, check out the "hsr x wha au" tag!

More on Kafka's AU lore under the cut ⁀➷

Using forbidden magic, Kafka has altered various part of her body. Most notably are her ink claw and her augmented vocal cords. The ink claws are hollow inside and hold ink, allowing her to cast spells on the fly easily. The augmented vocal cords are a key component for her Spirit Whisper spell. Her voice is capable of speaking in a frequency that can only be heard by the spell's victim.

---

Kafka belongs to a group of Brim Hats called the Stelleron Hunters, who, true to their name, collect Stellerons.

Not much is known about stellerons, except that they are harbingers of disaster. Is they remnants from before the Day of the Pact? Perhaps ancient contraptions? Or maybe signs of divine wrath? Rumour has it that knowledge of it's true nature is only know by the Three Wise ...and the Stelleron Hunters.

---

While travelling on its usual route, the Express suddenly screeches to a halt. It's stuck. As the the crew members (Pom-Pom, Himeko, Welt, Dan Heng and March 7th) rush to the front to check what's wrong, the power goes out. Neon pink webs shoot up from the floor. Then, illuminated by the glowing webs, a woman with striking purple-pink eyes appears.

"Kafka." Himeko stands protectively in front of her fellow crew members, weapon at the ready.

"Relax, Astral Express." Kafka's smile curls up further but doesn't reach her eyes.

"I've brought gifts~"

[xxcyberghostxx]

to me billdip is the most compelling when Dipper is still a teenager and bill's human form is a middle aged man or something. maybe he manifests and looks like he's in his 30's...maybe he manifests and looks like he's Ford's age...either way, i love love the idea of bill physically demonstrating the power imbalance between them. bill having the capability to look like he's Dipper's age but refusing to even consider that as an option bc he wants everyone to see that he is 100% in control of Dipper

[sailoryooons]

This awful Taeil reveal is reason number one I am ready to drop any idol for any reason, and at the end of the day, we should always keep in the back of our mind that a lot of the idols we stan are men, and they are not always safe spaces for women. I genuinely hope he rots in hell for the things he's done.