#i'm dead serious abt this btw

[beulf]

i realized last night that Pentiment is literally a video game adaptation of Andrei Rublev (1966)

so... if you liked the game, i really really really urge you to check out this 3 hour long soviet movie about orthodox monks in medieval russia

edit: it's actually true and as andrei rublev fan #1 i cannot believe i didn't pick up on it sooner

[runekept]

unsolicited advice from dude who spent years with a terrible relationship with eating: habitually getting a little snack and/or a drink when you're already having a good day does actually make you feel less guilty about eating over time

[twiixr4kidz]

hi this is my first request teehee

i was thinking abt like. a scott x transmasc!alt!reader where scott (badly) flirts w them bc they look so cool and they're like "i'm. not a girl yk that right" and scott's is basically like "i didn't but i still think you're hot" or smth along the lines there? i'm trans masc, and just like wallace can make a man fall in love with him, i believe i could make scott pilgrim confused abt his sexuality 💪🏽 it's the delusions lolz

IM SORRY IF U CANT OR DONT LIKE IT, IVE NEVER REQUESTED BEFORE.... THANK U IF U DO 🩷

NO THIS IS PERFECT!!!!! im sorry it's taken me so long to get around to this :((

scott x transmasc!alt!reader !!

when scott first saw you, it was like admiration at first sight

his go-to outfit is his lucky blue jeans and whatever shirt smells clean

so to see somebody as cool and well-dressed as you was like, a culture shock almost

he approached you at first because he thought you were really cute

like REALLY really cute

he waltzes over, cracks his knuckles, and pulls up with the corniest pick-up lines

at first, you don't even realize he's talking to you

and when you do, you're like "uh... you're aware i'm like, a dude, right?"

scott can't tell if it's the adrenaline or your sheer attractiveness but he looks at you with a dumbfounded look on his face and goes

"...i don't think i care"

and you laugh because this is such a wild fucking interaction

scott is dead serious btw

"can we make out?" - scott after realizing he likes men

seriously though, it's definitely a little surprising to him to realize that 1) he's still committing to flirting with you despite you being a dude and 2) he genuinely thinks a guy is hot

but i mean. he's never had that much luck with chicks. maybe dating a guy wouldn't be so bad?

[ssaalexblake]

How would you respond to claims that 13's run feels a bit dodgy by having a cop travel with them?

You know, the other day while generally browsing the internet I happened across somebody complaining about this war movie. They were angry it was glorifying soldiers. Were anti-military themselves in general. You know what I mean. The thing is, though, the literature course I did in school had an entire unit and exam on war literature and I've read the book upon which the movie was based on and it has stuck with me as an incredible critique of war, conscription and the military by portraying those things in fiction. I would never pick it up again, not because it was bad, but because it was rough to 17yo me, but I am happy I've read it and other pieces of literature like it. I am happy I was taught to analyse and contextualise media with a serious subject such as that.

Now, this isn't the exact same thing as this. The BBC would legit never allow their lead children's show to Explicitly portray any acab message, like, ever, lets be true to reality here. But also, I genuinely think there is a fair amount of that puritanical black and white thinking going on here on the riff of Yaz working for the police being an immediate strike against the show because people think that portraying something is automatically lauding it because uh, the content of the story does Not track with the idea they're saying cop work is good work.

I have seen (on this site and many others) people say over and over again the only good cops are either dead or have quit bc they realised it was a crock of shit. In which case, the question becomes;

Did y'all miss the part where Yaz quit?

Yaz is not a cop anymore. Yaz quit. Yaz is portrayed as thinking it's frustrating bc because the helping people thing she was supposed to be doing isn't happening and we're shown this from literally the get go, her very first scene, and from there is only seen as trying A) to get work where she's actually helping somebody and totally failing to get it and B) straight up trying to get out of going to work by actually forging paperwork. S/O to her for that bit of illegality btw. Love that for her. She does not end the series employed by the police. Yaz found an actual way to help people and chose to do That instead.

Yaz's career arc is 'disillusioned teen signs up to be cop, realises it's bullshit and there are actual ways to help people and quits to go do that instead' which is, if i'm not mistaken, what we want actual real life cops to realise about their life choices.

I get it's a tetchy subject bc acab, i agree, and I get and agree and wish that this stuff could be more explicitly portrayed as well bc i'm sick of media or execs being too cowardly to be bold about messaging, but the insinuation that this portrayed the cops as systematically helpful or useful by having Yaz start out as a cop? No. Would I have liked it to be more explicit? Well yes, duh, but I cannot emphasise how that was literally never gonna happen. I can however emphasise how ideas like Yaz, whose main goal is to help, quitting being a cop bc she wasn't helping anybody beamed into impressionable young minds do, in fact, take root though.

Like, having a plucky teen hero character go through an arc of helping people and them Ending a cop to carry on the good work is Vastly different to a plucky teen starting out a cop bc they think that's how they get to help people then quitting bc they realised that's not true. One of these things is pro cop, the other is not.

I also hasten to mention again that there is a genuine conversation here abt the dodgy-ness cops being used in mental health emergencies. I wrote this out about it [Here].

On a personal note on this score, I, much like Sonya have been forced to deal with cops throughout somebody else's mental health emergency when I never should have had to and it fucking sucked. What an unempathetic bunch of rats who clearly haven't even done a google search's worth of research on how to discuss these things, let alone give it the gravity it deserves. That my choices were either cops or somebody dying is a travesty. And maybe this story speaks to me more personally as somebody who has had this experience and wants to throw hands over it still over a decade later, but that lady did not help Yaz, Yaz helped herself after a measly pep talk and the woman obviously never bothered to keep tabs and see if Yaz was okay afterwards either. Ryan helped his mate. Graham spreads good mental health advice that benefits others. The hospital in Syria was dealing in mental heath care by professionals of the time. Cop lady convinced Yaz to go home, succeeded, and Yaz gave her the credit when it was Her who dug herself out of that pit and not anybody else.

Like, genuinely this whole thing sets me off angry. And I could critique the execution if I wanted to but the bottom line is i've not actually seen anything else even go slightly Near where this plot went and I genuinely think it was something that should be said. As I said, a decade later and I still want to throw hands.

So basically like, I get the discomfort, I do, I get not wanting to see it as well, but Yaz grew OUT of this. Not the other way around. Portrayal is not endorsement. I do not personally find this era difficult to parse but people seem either unwilling or unable to do so on literally every theme addressed in it, but I am just back to being that 17yo in an english lit class being taught how to examine things through the vehicle of anti-war stories, ones that people are actually nowadays mad at for glorifying war just because they portray it when this couldn't be farther from the truth, and I cannot help but relate the situations a bit.

I mean, I don't think it's a 10/10 and I would tweak, but I am aware you won't be finding anything as bold as blatant acab on dw in this geopolitical climate and since that's endemic literally everywhere i'm not gonna single out This show for it when at least its trying (watching classic who and the things they just openly say and portray is soooooo eye opening. TV of the 21st century has no spine in general.) But the portrayal of something does not imply that said thing is positive. If real cops ditching the badge on principle is a good thing that we want to continue, I fail to see how fake ones portraying that said same thing is bad.

[sug4r-sp1c3]

May I request general dating hcs for Paul and patryck (Seperatly) from eddsworld? 💅

Paul makes me go on simp mode..

(btw, since patryck apperiances in the show where just REWARDS that the REAL patryck had for donating, i'll use the FANON patryck[the one that is used on Fanfics, comics, fan-stuff, etc.]

Paul and Patryck Dating HC!

Paul

OH MY GOD WHERE DO IT START

he's an idiot and a dummy, thats for sure

well now he's all that x73404938 JUST BECAUSE OF YOU

he will probably try to end his work at the army sooner just to see you

or if you are with him well, basically beg to the red leader to put you in missions or stuffy like that with him

he would try to hide the smell of cigarrette's

I SAID TRY

speaking about try

he would try to get you flowers or tiny stuff!

or even if he saw something shiny around the army he would pick it up and if its like a ring he would give it to you!

and if this isn't enough to you to be sure that that boy haves something with you..

after some monts!(or even a year i could say) he wil ask you out!

in his own way ofc

the current dates would be(in the case that you aren't in the army), a night dinner or just movie nights! or things like that

if you ARE in the army. The dates would be just walking around the place, going to some places to practice, or even just have a lunch together!

[just imaginated him and you on the army's like caffeteria. in a normal table but with a red blanket, like if you both where in a restaurant, hehe]

HE'S A SWEETHEART LIKE OMG

probably when he gets you flowers they would be kinda dead or even with some petals falling

and he isn't proud of it

he murmures a sorry as he insists that he will get you something better

(SOBBING OVER THE FACT THAT I COULDN'T FIND A GIF ASJHDJS SORRYYYYY)

Patryck

feeling like this bitch would deny all at the start

"i'm not doing it i'm not-"

he keeps saying until he realizes he has been doing tiny things for you..

for example: you both are in the army? he holds you doors and tells the leader to not worry about you and basically speaks good abt you

or when you pass he stares at you, not creepy, just with a tiny shine(and it isn't until Paul tells him that if he's paying attention or when you leaved)

he would start with tiny things

shinning things that he finds, flowers, coffee.

until he forces himself to ask you out

or well try

he would try to insunuate that he is in love with you like sometimes being there when you don't even need him, trying to go out in missions(if you are in the army ofc)

he's there if you are hurt

or when you are hurt he finds an excuse to go and visit you!(and brings some flowers, or even sends, but. lets keep that as a secret)

he tries to be serious or un-expressive around you

but probably fails miserably

You would have to make the first move if you both want to be something..bc it would take him like...4 dating months

[this isn't mine! it was made by fnafhs-aesthetics ! if you are a fan of FHS and want a banner or an icon go and check their profile!]

sorry if they are any spell mistakes english isn't my original lenguage!(its Spanish lolz)

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

need you to know your affect on me as well like. im v dysphoric abt being a trans guy all of the time and the one post of demoman with “i need to fuck him in his stupid fucking vagina” post literally makes that like dissipate. i may have said this already here but w/e its a good ass post. maybe the best

YESSSS look I DO need to fuck him in his stupid fucking vagina!! I'm not like kidding at all when I say stuff like that btw, in my mind Demo tf2 is transgender and I am having transgender sex with him. Dead serious I think "normalizing" so to speak the idea of "his stupid fucking vagina" even thru dumb posts or fanfic or anything like that DOES help with dysphoria a lot. Having the ability to make all the tf2 people transgender with my mind powers has done Fucking wonders for me. Like I can just decide that he has a vagina with my mind and then also decide that I can fuck it. Secret trans power we just unlocked btw

[tsotc]

You mentioned recently that you’ve done a lot of healing in ffxiv - I wanna get more into tanking so I was wondering, what are some of the main things you see tanks doing wrong?

I'm only recently learning to tank at the behest of my boyfriend but I've healed for him for long enough to know what's good tanking and what's shit tanking. This is more advice than anything else i think

1 - if your healer looks and acts like a cat that's just been dunked in water and is quivering and throwing up everywhere, ask what pull sizes they want or adjust in a manner that gives them (and by proxy both you and the rest of the party) a better experience. examples of this being; they are in on level gear. they are in baby artifact gear. you have just died to a pull that you should have been able to survive.

additionally, if you die and the healer dies and everything has gone to shit please god wait for the healer to get back BEFORE pulling the next pack. THIS APPLIES TO WAR TOO BTW. I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE HEALERS NOW BUT SHAKE IT OFF AND BLOODWHETTING ARE NOT A GOOD SUBSTITUTE FOR A HEALER ALL OF THE TIME.

2- we recently ran into a tank in the 6.2 dungeon who Did Not Mitigate because "[the healer] was doing fine and i wanted to let them shine" NO!!! I Want To DPS I Will Kill You If You Make Me Hardcast Cure II. A healer should be damaging in addition to healing, if you don't do your mitigation rotations and let them do all the work you're only doing half a job and the damage you'll gain from slacking like this isn't worth the goodness that shall be drained from your soul.

3- in situations where you are co-tanking, wait to turn on your stank (tank stance) until the mt has built up enough aggro to avoid fighting for you with aggro (usually its like 30 seconds into the fight if memory serves) if you are fighting for aggro and switch halfway through the fight without it being a proper tank swap (forced by mechs) then it becomes a lot harder to effectively heal whilst maintaining dps output.

4- vuln stacks don't do as much harm to tanks as to the rest of the party but it's still Very Stressful when a tank has 6 of them for No Good Reason. ple ase

5- asked my tank bf (kissing him btw) for some advice and he was like. face enemies north for the most part (AWAY FROM THE PARTY) and move with intention (dont wiggle about too much) or else your meelees with positionals (ninja gets the third part of their meelee combo at level 34 ish which is a positional, its something that should be considered regardless of content that you're running)

6- this might be a crystal thing but in alliance raids B tends to mt feel free to ask in alliance chat if anyone else wants to mt though

7- IF YOU'RE NOT WEARING A FUNNY OR SLUTTY GLAM YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!! GET THAT PUSSY AND OR COCK OUT. PUT ON THE CHOCOBOBHEAD. people will be more willing to forgive your mistakes if you're just a little guy im deadly serious a funny tank that fucks up more will get more leeway than one who takes themselves too seriously

8- HAVE. A CHAT MACRO FOR YOUR INVULNS. I BEG OF YOU . I NEED TO KNOW WHEN YOU POP LIVING DEAD SO I CAN STOP HEALING YOU. I don't really need to know holmgang but i like knowing when people crank their hogs. I NEED TO KNOW WHEN YOU HALLOWED GROUND SO I CAN DPS. I WILL ALREADY KNOW WHEN YOU SBD BUT BY GOD PLEASE TELL ME WHEN IT ENDS. hallowed ground and holmgang are invulns that you can panic pop without your healer killing you for the most part.

9- there are required tank lbs but people in party tend to yell abt them. a12n, sosex and esn are the ones that come to mind and their timing is also Usually yelled at you by chat. dont be afraid to ask abt it. never be afraid to ask.

the main things i think though are like you set the pace of the dungeon. the bus waits for you because you are the bus. if a healer wants to pull bigger and you're not comfortable with it then don't! I am a healer who enjoys hard and fast pulls and loves danger and loves last minute heals, i would be a dick to impose that on everyone. the worst tanks are those who don't consider the rest of the party, as with every role in this game.

and as with everything else, i havw faith in you and fucking up is entirely normal and expected. you're gonna do great

[zyafics]

omg hi!! hope ur doing well i love ur writing btw, (play fake is one of my fav fics ive EVER read!!)

could u do a fic where rafe and reader are like best friends, and they’ve always both kinda liked each other but they dont really act upon it, until rafe gets a buzzcut and reader starts acting like real shy and clumsy around him bcs she’s shocked abt how he could get even MORE attractive, and then he gets linda confused so he asks her why she’s acting so different and then she tells him? make it as smutty and fluffy as u want! 🫶🫶

first off, ily 🥹 and omg, YES!! i've been thinking about this ever since i got your req in my inbox, so here's my very earnest attempt at doing it justice 🩷

REALITY CHECK

MASTERLIST (Oneshot) | x BSF!Female Reader

Word Count — 5.3k.

Content — 18+, fluff, smut, soft!Rafe only to reader, protected p in v, oral (female receiving), lots of banters, and nicknames used: baby and wildflower. Reader is a Kook, spontaneous, loves adventures, hates silence, loves noises, doesn't exactly like her reality, friends with Topper and Kelce, but is only close to Rafe.

Dedication — to @mintforadollar for helping me with the nickname and to @erwinsvow for her lovely fic, which i drew inspiration from and have been obsessing over for the past two weeks!

lıllılı Wildflower by 5 Seconds of Summer

"I want to run away."

It takes a moment for Rafe to register your confession and his response is a drowsy laugh. "Buy a guy dinner first."

You let out a groan, slumping against your wrinkled sheets and abundant pillows spread across your bed. "I'm being serious, Rafe. I'm tired of this house. It's too empty and quiet. I can't stand it. At night, I think I can hear my skin buzzing."

Rafe is accustomed to your sporadic calls regarding whatever issues you had with the world. Last week, it was about the insufficient amount of family portraits that frame the halls of your mansion.

"Maybe you just need to change your sheets."

"Stop!" You chastise. Rafe chokes up with another beat of laughter, low and rich with the deep timbre of his voice. The sound temporarily draws you away from your rant, igniting a small ember in your stomach. You brush away those tingly thoughts. "You're not listening to me."

"I think I'm listening to you perfectly fine, wildflower." He reassures, the solemnity of his tone takes you off the edge. Rafe shuffles on the other line, moving to a sitting position against his headboard. "What do you want? Do you want me to come pick you up?"

You cower from his offer, tucking one of your pillows under your chin. "You don't have to..."

"Don't get all shy with me now. You can't act this way when you're waking me up in the dead of night to report about your getaway plans."

"I feel bad."

Rafe sighs, getting off his bed. He knows the outcome of this conversation and rather prepares himself for the short drive. "I'm heading over."

"I could walk."

"It's freezing outside."

"Your house is down the block. I can survive."

"I'm already out the door. Just stay put." Rafe announces and before he's about to disconnect the call, he adds. "I'm serious."

He arrives in record time. Honking his truck with no regards for the nearby neighbors and you pad downstairs with a bag, descending down the driveway to the passenger side of his truck. A little shiver travels down your spine at the cool North Carolina weather.

"God, what did I tell you?" He scolds, noticing your lack of outwear, and reaches for the blanket in the backseats he keeps just for you. He throws it at your face, suffocating your air with a fluffy white fleece. You roll your eyes, covering your shoulders with it as Rafe reverses. "Where do you want to go?"

"Thought I'm supposed to buy you a meal first."

He doesn't bother entertaining your retort with a glance and flicks the side of your head with his fingers. You giggle. "We're not running away."

"Who said you're included in this adventure? I remember it being a one-person job."

Rafe scoffs. "You can't run away. You'd miss me too much."

"No, you'd miss me too much." You tease back, watching his lips pull to an upward curve at your words. It makes your heart flutters, knowing you always manage to get this side of Rafe. To the rest of Outer Banks, Rafe is seen as a precarious, self-absorbed playboy, but to you, he's your best friend.

And a little more.

The truck parks on the roadside of Tannyhill, the silhouettes of the estate surrounded by shadowy oak trees and a deep reflection of the moon on their waterfront view. Rafe doesn't make a move to leave, nor turn off the engine, before he turns to you.

"You okay?" He asks gravely, all humor stripped off his handsome features. You feel the air of your lungs stolen, at the amount of attention he's paying you, and the atmospheric change turns you to a bashful version of yourself.

"Fine." You answer, looking to your lap. "You know..."

Despite your house being a near-identical model to Rafe's, you hate yours. It's nothing about the architecture but rather the emptiness of the hallways. The cold floors sweep with minimalist decors. The echoes in the chambers where you can hear every little whirl in the air conditioner and creaks in the pipes. You'd rather be at Tannyhill.

Rafe doesn't say anything for the next few moments, observing you, before conceding a sigh. "Tell you what. I'll take you out on the Druthers tomorrow. We'll go bright and early, sail out for a couple of hours, watch the sunrise and it'll be something."

You lift your head, eyes lit up. "Is this our escape?"

"We gotta come back, though."

You frown but the offer remains enticing. It's better than nothing.

"Okay, deal." You nod, holding out your pinkie finger. Rafe scoffs at your gesture, but nonetheless, returns it. "Don't look so glum. You get to hang out with me."

"You do realize we have about three hours of sleep?"

You glance at the clock on his dashboard. He's right. But, you don't want to hold it off till another day. "I can go by myself. Just give me the keys for tomorrow."

He rolls his eyes, as if he would even consider that suggestion, and shakes his head. "I'm coming with you."

"Aren't you afraid you won't get your beauty sleep?"

"Shut up and get in the house."

You laugh and hop out of his truck. When you enter through his bedroom, you throw your bag to a random corner and stroll over to his closet in search for one of Rafe's tees to sleep in.

When you settle on something, you strip out of your clothes—in the middle of his bedroom, just as Rafe enters—and exchange it for his shirt. He had little regard for your act, having grown accustomed to you changing in front of him and vice versa. 

All Rafe does is pull off his own shirt, because he likes to sleep naked, and turns back to you. Unlike him, you're never going to get used to seeing him naked—the defined muscles of his chest, the toned planes of his abs, all those hours spent at the gym are clearly not wasted.

You flush, realizing you're ogling him longer than appropriate, and lift your gaze to find a smirk curving his lips. "Oh, shut it," you push his shoulders, causing him to laugh. He takes the opportunity to capture your hand, pulling the both of you onto his mattress, and you yelp.

Rafe changes your position so you're facing him, an arm sprawls over your waist, and there's about a couple of inches of space between the two of you. Here, in the low streams of the moonlight glistening through the veiled curtains and the faint aroma of his cologne on his pillows, you can hear your own heartbeat in your ears.

You say nothing. He says nothing, You stare into his cerulean eyes, knowing all this little emotions you're feeling all over—the light pricks on your skin where he touches you, the lapse in your breathing from how attentive he is, and the sharp incline of your heart rate pulsing through your veins—is because of him.

His voice is low when he says, "you know you're my best friend, right?"

You couldn't find it in you to answer. You just nod.

Rafe swallows hard, not having the ability to string together the next sentence. Instead, all he does is nod along, leaning forward to place a light kiss on your forehead, before falling asleep.

The next morning, just an hour before the sunrise, Rafe and you head to the ports to board the Druthers. Despite the lack of adequate sleep, you were giddily and strumming with high energy. He holds out his hand to guide you up the stairs, afraid your enthusiasm would cause you to miss a step. 

When the Druthers is far enough from shore, it pulls to a halt, gently bobbing on the ocean waves of the tame morning. You settle on the deck and Rafe slides into the spot next to you. Here, you have the perfect view of the sun slowly rising from the horizon, painting the sky in a palette of red, orange and yellow.

You're grinning. You're feeling much better, especially after your melodramatic episode. Your head rests on Rafe's chest, observing the skyline until the sun reaches its acme, while he watches you. Something about you, happy, content, and with him brings a warmth no one can replicate.

"We have to go swimming." You announce suddenly, twisting your head to look at him with excitement bubbling on your features, doe eyes pleading with a want.

His expression is flat, trying to contain his emotions. "It's seven in the morning."

"So? When has that stopped me before?"

"It's freezing cold."

"That's your excuse for everything." You scoff, before tilting your head in a challenge. "Are you scared of a little water, Rafe Cameron?"

There's a twinkle in your eyes, something about the way you talk to him, he would never allow from anyone else. It's just you. He had to look away, pretending to shake his head from the idea but knowing, at the end, he lost.

With a long dip into the ocean, you swim around the Druthers with light splashes thrown in his face, causing Rafe to chase after you for your little stunt. When the pair of you returned to the boat, dripping wet on the floor deck, laughter exchanging at the break of dawn.

"You cheated!" You accuse, grinning.

"I did not. You're just slow."

When you change out of your bikini and Rafe changes out of his swim trunks, you return to the cockpit where Rafe dons a new attire: khaki pants, a polo shirt, and his backward baseball cap. The air shifts, a more solemn expression on his face.

"You had enough now, wildflower?" He tips his head to your direction, as you approach him. "Ready to return back to the real world?"

You groan. "What's so special about that place?"

"Nothing that matters to you," he declares, "but I have a couple of errands I have to run today. I have to get back, but I won't leave until you're feeling better."

"Hm." You consider your satisfaction. Standing before Rafe, you watch as his lips curl in amusement at the way you're mauling through the finer details. The itinerary of your day and whether it was enough. When your eyes lock with his, you offer him a sweet smile, albeit a little reluctant.

"What?"

You don't answer him, reaching for his hat and taking it off his head, before plopping it over your own as a keepsake souvenir. "Now, I am."

—

After spending your afternoon with Topper and Kelce at the Country Club, distracting them from their tee time with your commentary about their swings, Rafe finally arrives to join you.

But it's different.

When Rafe said he had a couple of errands to run, you didn't ask for their specifics. He just said he'll join you later and you were content with that assumption.

You should've prepared yourself.

Rafe got a new haircut; a buzz that took away his dirty blond locks and a clean fade on the sides. For some reason, it makes your heart accelerate. Your breath shortens. Rafe has always been attractive before but now, you couldn't even look at him.

When he tries to approach you in greeting, you dip out of the way and return to Topper and Kelce. However, in the middle of your path, you nearly tripped over some hazardously-abandoned golf club one of the boys threw out, but Rafe caught you. A hand on your elbow, his brows drawn together in concern.

"You good?" He asks. You can't help but let your eyes stray up to his hairline, finding it voided of the curtain bangs it previously occupies and the strands you like to mess with. Your gaze instantly drops to the ground.

"I'm–I'm fine." You stutter, heat rising to your cheeks from the embarrassing fact that you couldn't even make a clean getaway. Rafe helps you find your balance and you slip out of his grasp as you excuse yourself back to the other Kooks.

That's how the rest of the evening went. Through another round of golf and a dinner at the restaurant inside the Country Club, you try to ignore Rafe to the best of your abilities. It was a difficult task but a necessary one. Your emotions were fuzzy and harder to control. You couldn't even look at your best friend without flushing or revealing everything on your face.

You thought you could wait it out till you get home.

"Come on, wildflower." Rafe grabs your wrist, just as you're about to join Topper in his car, and you turn to face his contempt expression. Annoyance written over his features. "I'm driving you home."

"No, it's fine. Top said he can give me a ride—"

"We live nearby each other. There's no point for Top to do all that. Right?" Rafe cuts a hard look to the blond in the driver seat, to whom easily backs off with two hands raised in surrender. Coward. Rafe turns back to you. "Let's go."

You end up in the passenger seat of his truck. On the long drive back to Figure Eight, you were uncharacteristically quiet. Often, you would fidget with the stereo, messing with Rafe's presets on country and rap stations, to which he always has to swat your hands away. Today, you sat obediently in your seat, hands tucked between your thighs, looking anywhere but Rafe.

"You're not going to listen to music?" He asks, trying to cut the silence. You shake your head.

"I'm not feeling it."

You try to count the seconds. You try to distract yourself by looking out the window and listening to the chirps of crickets coming out, but all you can focus on is the sound of yours and Rafe's breathing. The acute awareness of something in the air. The amount of space between the two of you. The way something deep in you changed about him.

It isn't his fault. Whatsoever. It's all yours. All those times spent at Tannyhill, stealing his shirts to wear to sleep, cuddling up in his bed after sneaking out of your estate, running around with Rafe doing god-knows-what. You developed something for him. A crush. An inkling.

You always told yourself you could control it. It's natural for best friends to like each other at one point. It'll fade away eventually.

But, unfortunately for you, that isn't the case. it got worse. It grew more desperate. With each inching territory into something else means a larger consequence it can have on your friendship.

You can't lose him.

"Hey." Rafe calls out, his voice softens considerably from the aggression he used with Topper a while back. You don't turn to face him, despite that being his sole objective, and you respond back with a light hum. "Am I driving you home or Tannyhill?"

To you, those are the same things. Home is where Tannyhill is, where Rafe is. But, you knew what he was referring to.

"Tannyhill." You answer in a chipped tone. "I forgot my bag."

"Of course, you did." He teases, trying to break the tension with some lightheartedness. It doesn't work. You don't answer, too lost in resisting the urge to look at him.

Rafe sighs when you refuse to acknowledge him and turns back to the road. That's when you spare a glance from the corner of your peripheral; just a small peek.

And there he is: Rafe with the fresh shave that is such a strange yet welcomed sight. It brings out a clearer definition of his handsome features, the planes of his sharp profile, the cut of his jawline and the wrinkles around his eyes you always adore. It's too much for you.

You can't let him know that.

He's your best friend.

When he reaches Tannyhill, you leap out of the moving vehicle and race up the porch. You take the hidden key from under the mat and turn the lock, slipping into the familiar foyer and up the large stairwell.

Racing against an internal clock, once you enter the bedroom, you search for your bag, but you can't seem to pinpoint its location. When you manage to miraculously find it underneath the covers, you throw it over your shoulders and sprint to the exit.

Only for Rafe to block it.

"Why are you in such a rush?" He asks, his brows furrowed together as he examines you. You quickly drop your gaze to the ground, pretending to be interested in the patterns on the marble.

"I just..." You stammer for an excuse. "I just got to get home."

"Why? You hate your house."

"I don't hate it." You lie. The conversation tips into an awkward tension—the exact thing you were trying to avoid. You think you need to spend a day, or two, or a whole week, to collect yourself and force yourself back to normal. Back to when you can look at him without revealing everything on your face.

"God, what is it? You don't like it?" Rafe laughs with an ounce of nervousness and the sound takes you back. You look up, finding him running a hand over his buzzcut. "It's my hair, isn't it?"

He didn't know why he decided to buzz it off. He just did. He didn't care if his father didn't approve or if Wheezie would make fun of him for the sudden change in appearance. That didn't matter to him.

But your opinions did.

"What?" Your lips part. Were you that obvious? "I never said that."

"You didn't need to. This entire evening, you've barely looked at me."

He's right.

"I was busy."

"Playing golf with Top? You hate that shit." He retorts, dropping his hand to his side, clenching them into whiten knuckles. "And when we were at the restaurant. You were sitting with Kelce. Why the fuck were you sitting with him instead of me?"

You swallow hard. Your throat is tightening with all the words you can't reveal.

"Maybe I just want to change it up. I am friends with them too—"

"But you're my friend first."

You scoff. "Possessive much?"

"Very." He answers nonchalantly. Your heart skips a beat. He can't say that; it's not fair. "And knowing you for so long, I know what you're telling me is complete and total bullshit."

His hand slides under your jaw, lifting your gaze to meet his, and you can't help but feel your walls crumbling. You're afraid. You're so afraid.

"Come on, wildflower." He murmurs softly, swiping his thumb across your cheek. "Tell me the truth."

You have always been able to do that. In ways. When Rafe asks something of you, you're always able to tell him straight. It's one of the qualities he likes about you. Now is the first time you're going against your nature. Because it's too close, too real, that it can change everything.

Your throat grows dry and you lick your bottom lip, causing Rafe to glance down.

"I..." You begin, trying to string together a coherent sentence that won't damage everything. He raises a brow, waiting. "Sometimes it's hard for me to look at you."

You close your eyes after the confession. Your heart is in his hands.

All the air in the room stills, as if the air conditioner turns off and you're all left with a tense, palpable silence. You can't bear it. At least, at your house, you can blast your speakers on full-volume to create some level of noise and block it out. Here, all you can hear is the thumping of your heart in your ears.

"Say something." You urge.

"Sometimes it's hard for me to look at you too."

Your heart drops. You think he doesn't understand. He thinks you can't stand him physically, especially after his haircut, and this is a similar sentiment shared by him about you.

He doesn't feel the same way.

"Oh."

You open your eyes, trying hard not to cry. You can feel them swelling with hot tears but you blink fast, trying to not let Rafe see.

He immediately recognizes the look, drawing back his hand. That’s not what he meant. "Don't cry."

You're not doing a good job at hiding anything today. "No, it's okay," you say with a crack voice, "you don't have to—"

"No, fuck," he swears, "what I mean is that, sometimes, when you look at me, I just—" He couldn't explain himself, not in time, not in the way he wants, that he covers your eyes, flooding your vision with darkness and heightening every other sense.

Rafe releases a deep exhale, collecting himself. "Those eyes..." He mumbles, the resonance of his voice so close, it's as if he's right beside you. You feel his breathing fanning against the curve of your neck, raising goosebumps. "They drive me fucking insane."

Then, he kisses your neck.

The act jolts you by surprise.

"Everything about you drives me insane." He confesses against your heated skin, the vibration of his words sending straight tingles through your body. "I can't go a day without thinking about you. About wanting you."

Not just as a best friend, but as a whole. Everything about you he needs. In his life; forever. Sometimes, he can't believe you exist.

You're overwhelmed with all these new emotions. Your heart is swelling. "Rafe..."

"You're my best friend, right?" He muses, delivering kisses up the column of your throat to the underside of your jaw, and making his way closer to your lips. "But you're also the only one for me."

Before he gets to your mouth, you grab his wrist, the one holding you blindfolded. He stops in place—afraid this is your time to reject him.

"Rafe." You breathe out. "Can I see you?"

He slowly removes his hand, allowing your vision to flood back with his presence. This time, the sight of Rafe doesn't push you into overdrive. There's a new sense of clarity and calm, an elated comfort you don't share with anyone else.

You take your time drinking him in. From his face, to his lips, to the fresh haircut you're feeling entirely too grateful for. You do it all without fear.

"What?" He demands, his insecurities skyrocketing through the roof. "Don't like it?"

"I love you."

His heart lunges in his chest. He couldn't believe the words coming from your lips. When it completely registers that this is not some sweet, wet dream he's going to wake up from, his hands reach forward to cup either side of your face and he finally kisses you.

His force pushes you back against his bed and you land on the mattress with a soft thump. You laugh into his mouth and Rafe grins against your lips.

"Eager, much?"

"I wanted to hear you say that for so long." He admits, his hand travels down your waist to grab your hips and pull you closer. Rafe deepens the kiss, swallowing the little sounds you're making, until you have to pull away to catch your breath.

You can't believe this is happening.

"I didn't know you were such a good kisser."

"Yeah? You wanna know what else I'm good at?"

Your eyes drop to his pants, seeing the subtle outline of his erection straining against his zipper, and he chuckles lowly. "You want it tonight?"

You nod timidly. Your eyes dropping to your lap again, but this time, Rafe doesn't allow you to do such things.

He grabs your chin, forcing your gaze to his. "Don't do that, baby. You know how I feel about you getting shy from asking what you want. Use your words."

The new nickname is making you lightheaded. You can't believe this is real. "I want you, Rafe."

Sweetest goddamn words he ever heard.

He tips his head to your clothes. "Take it off."

"You first."

He laughs at your competitiveness, always trying to challenge him, but he doesn't resist. He pushes himself off the mattress, pulling off his shirt and removing his pants. All that is left is his boxer-briefs, which reveals the outline of his bulge. "Your turn."

You take off your shirt and your shorts and decide, last minute, to go the extra mile and unclasp your bra too. It falls over your shoulders and you throw it out onto the floor.

Rafe takes his time, staring at your tits. He has seen you naked before, the consequence of your intimate relationship that pushes the boundaries into blurred lines and the inevitable collision of morning showers in his ensuite and drunken exchanges after parties.

But this time, it's different. This time, it's a sight that's intentional—just for him.

"Do you know how long I've waited for this?"

You gawk at him, the words send a thrill down your spine. "Do you know how long I waited for this?" You gesture back to him, at his naked frame, and he smirks.

"You got an eyeful last night."

"Oh, shut up," you use your leg to kick him, but Rafe catches your ankle in the process. Your eyes widen as he uses the opportunity to spread your legs apart, sinking between your thighs. His gaze finds your soaked panties.

His thumb traces across your panties, drawing out your wetness against the fabric and collecting your arousal. You whimper, aching into his touch.

"Rafe, please." You beg. His eyes lifts to find yours in a self-satisfied grin. He loves knowing you're this desperate for him, only him, that his fingers hook under the band of your panties.

"Lift your hips for me." He commands and you obey. He pulls off your panties and hauls you to the ledge of his bed. With that, his fingers caress your wet slit, drawing out a low moan from you. "Fuck."

He has imagined that sound a thousand times over, but it's incomparable to the real thing. To know you're feeling this way because of him. He feels himself growing harder, straining against the thin fabric and begging to be inside of you.

But he wants to pleasure you first.

Rafe lowers himself and covers your clit with his mouth. He proceeds to suck, his fingers grazing your entrance before plunging a thick digit inside.

You tip your head against the mattress, reveling in the feel of his tongue against your swollen nub, the way he thrusts into you with a steady pace and the additive finger. Your legs drape over his shoulders, closing him in.

"Fuck, baby, you taste so sweet," Rafe mumbles against you, the vibration of his words stirring something inside of you. "I can't believe I haven't been tasting you every single fucking night."

You draw out with a breathy moan, feeling yourself clench at his words. "We have all the time now."

"I bet I can make you come on my face fast, though."

You don't get a chance to entertain the response before Rafe sucks harder, pumping inside of you with a determined speed that causes you to arch off the mattress and claw at his sheets.

"Shit," you whimper, squeezing your thighs together at the intense pleasure, forcing Rafe to use his free hand to push your legs apart. You feel your climax rapidly approaching. "Oh, god, oh, god."

You come on his face, as promised, and you slump back against the bed, catching your breath. Rafe removes his hand from your cunt, the emptiness causes a little whine.

"What?" He looks at you.

"Nothing," you mumble, "I just want you inside me."

He laughs. "God, you're needy," he teases, causing heat to rise to your cheeks. "Don't worry, baby, you'll get it soon."

He goes to his nightstand and pulls out a condom. Just as he's about to tear it open, he glances down at you, extending the small square. "Want to do it?"

You nod, pushing yourself upright and taking it from his hands. You rip it open, as Rafe removes his boxers, and his cock springs free, red and swollen with a bit of precum. You smile, glancing up at him with your doe eyes. "Is that because of me?"

"Shut up."

You giggle, rolling the latex over his length, taking your time to admire his size. He's big and perfect, the tip of his cock dripping with his precum that you almost wish you could take him inside your mouth instead. However, despite the recent orgasm, your body wants him inside.

"Lay back." He commands thickly. "Spread your legs."

You do as he says, throbbing from the control he has in the room. Rafe sinks his knees into his mattress, approaching you as he pushes your thighs apart and lines his tip against your entrance, causing your breath to shorten.

"Come on, wildflower, breathe with me."

You nod shakily, closing your eyes for a moment to inhale a calming breath before he plunges deep inside you, filling you to the hilt. A gasp escapes you, his girth stretching you out, but it soon fades into a pleasure unlike any others.

"God, you feel good," he mumbles, lowering himself to your mouth and capturing your lips into a hot kiss. Your hand drapes over his shoulders as he begins to thrust inside of you. "Too fucking good."

You feel perfect. All of this is too perfect. The way you press against him, your fingernails scraping his back, the way your pussy grips him with the ideal amount of pressure, and the way your lips sync with his as if you were made for him.

The air fills with your whimpers and mewls, increasing in volume with each thrusts that enters and leaves you, while Rafe is heaving in breathy grunts and moans. He pushes your legs back, forcing the new position to grant him deeper access into your sweet cunt.

He's hitting new spots you didn't know were possible. It's making your eyes roll to the back of your head, your cries coming out with desperate pleas, that he had to cover your mouth with his to swallow all the noises.

When you feel yourself reaching a familiar high, the buzz tingling between your legs, you grip his shoulders tight. Rafe feels your walls fluttering around him, and he quickened his pace, sweat breaking across his forehead.

Your breath is heavy, your heart is racing, and as you ascend into your peak, you moan out Rafe's name with such euphoric satisfaction, he comes with you, emptying into the condom.

When he finishes, he falls into the space next to you. His breathing is rough, trying to catch his own breath, that you can't help but turn your gaze to his, examining him under this new light.

Rafe catches you staring, the way your eyes lift to his hairline, and he reassures with a soft brush against your jaw. "It'll grow back, I promise."

"it's not that." You declare, dropping your gaze down to his face. You still can't believe the embarrassment you still feel by how attractive he is. "I like it."

"You do?"

"Why else would I hide from you?"

Rafe scoffs, shaking his head with a ghost of a smile on his lips. His hand drops to your waist, pulling you closer to him until you're skin-to-skin, your breasts pressing against his chest.

"You couldn't tell me the whole time?" He mumbles, kissing your nose. You giggle.

"If I did, we wouldn't be here having sex."

He takes a moment to consider your words, before finding some merit in them. "Fair." He declares, just as his eyes find yours again. This time, he can look at you, knowing you're his. "I guess next time I get a new haircut, I can propose, huh?"

Your heart drops. Your smile fades from surprise. "What?"

He laughs at your expression. "You think I'm letting you go after this? It's either us or nothing."

Maybe reality isn’t too bad. 

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[castle-dominion]

4x4 kick the ballistics

I thought "this is going to be a plot heavy episode, probably caskett heavy bc it is going to be castle heavy" but then it was very ryan heavy & we learned some esposito stuff too. so so super excited for this ep. I really enjoyed it during my family watch. this i sprobs going to be the only episode I have time for today bc I'm going to spend so long on it & I really should only watch one today anyway. sjkdfakjsdfhdh excited

Gates killed those last two women (& attempted to kill another), not tyson. Y'all said his gf was safe bro! you did NOT say where gates was! That's why he asked! He didn't need to know abt his girl bc you already let him know she was fine! Also he may have been the 3xk all along but gates killed those girls! Also why didn't castle let ryan know what was going on? Tyson just hit him twice & ryan was done for! Got a concussion too. Not all concussions knock you out but all KOs give you concussions.

Mm cement, just like my daddy. Going to be a chopped up dead body in there. Little bro told me that bodies float in cement. Or yk maybe a whole body.

Yeah I still have scars that pull, not much anymore tho, it has been long enough. I actually thought she was like on her period at first or smth. What if the construction guys rinsed off the cement, would that have been easier? Ah buried her in the sand to make sure she was in there & wouldn't float. RC: Execution style murder, cement trucks…can anyone else say mob hit? I'm looking at concrete evidence right here.

Why did you use the ballistics favour you had today? Espt's shirt is interesting, looks more Ryan than Espt tho. Patterned (plaid or smth), dark, purple-ish I think, p neutral tho, collared, long sleeved. Badge around neck. Ryan is wearing typical ryan stuff. Jacket, shirt, tie, vest. Oof, parents lost their only child. You know, I can see the focus is in certain places in this ep, when I first watched it I didn't notice. Here their desks are back to back btw. Who sits across from espt & who sits across from ryan? find out WHEN she cancelled

there is not nearly enough cement in her hair Good, lanie said 12-midnight to specify it was night not noon. Oof, my christowitch heart. Maybe he didn't let her pray, maybe she just,,, was praying.

Good that becks started with "we didn't find drugs in her system" Good mom. He wouldn't meet my eye.

finnbar is a name? oh gosh i feel nauseous & in pain I just started my period today-ish. time to read that vent fic i wrote with ftm!ryan. Construction.

I love relationships that stay friends *doesn't say goodbye before hanging up* Do they have an intercom? ig she could tap on the glass just as well. Was she moving the computer to make room or bc she was angry? "my man finn" JE looks excited, KR looks bugged JE: w- hh- ? .. that's good news. KB: *looking at ryan*... KB: Ryan, it's a match to your old service weapon. & we've already seen the intro so we KNOW this is 3xk but they don't know it's related. "it's yours" it WAS yours, it is not yours anymore. the "it's" makes it sound like "is" which makes it sound like he killed her. The shock on his face. So good. & espt also looks upset, along with becks too ig. & then the intro is a different colour, this is a serious episode! The music is different! I love it!

This is a frickin gbeautiful scene, this is what it feels like to be off my meds. Man looks fricking angry Looks like he's going to court or smth. Where is he? Just standing outside the precinct? Why? What floor are y'all on? Also when did espt get here? Oof the music. What's with the timeline? He was in the observation room, then outside, then up again with gates.

"Castle was with you?" I don't care whose fault it is. All I care about it mitigating the damage. I really respect gates.

RC, he cares abt his friends, when ryan comes out of gates' office speedwalking: u ok? KR, being honest: I will be when Jerry Tyson's in cuffs. (meaning he is not ok rn but he ain't saying that.) Yeah the MO was weird to me KR, upset & making a joke that I find funny even tho the situation sucks: Yeah, must have mentioned that when I was out cold on the floor. RC: ... You know Ryan, none of this is your fault. The fact that he used your gun– KR, That weapon was issued to me by the city of New York. I let it out of my hand (he beat u up bro) and now a girl is dead. *sounding like he's going to cry* So please do not tell me that it's not my fault. Man could use a hug but wouldn't accept it. I'd expect this to ba a more castle centric episode since he was the one 3xk left alive "you failed to stop me, more ppl will die bc of you" yk that thing. I'm glad they made it ryan centric too. RN I actually feel like castle is blaming himself for ryan's upset.

multiple withdrawals bc she didn't want to raise attention...? RC: Or Tyson. He stalked his victims before he killed them. JE: KB: why are they just staring bro?

I like how this is castle centric too: It's like I've been holding my breath for a year waiting for this day to come. A whole year of wondering about him, hating him, dreaming about him, trying to think like him, but still having no clue how to catch him. MR, i love her: Your playacting once helped save New York City, as I recall. Be there for your friends. Stand beside them. Work together. That's plenty useful. Trust me.

I've seen this before, I'm p sure the boyf couldn't see her bc he was you-know-what

Holy crap that was a great scene. Whips the paper around, all three sitting behind espt, wow. who is "him" tho? idak & I've seen this before

Girl he said he didn't know Strapped meaning carrying a gun or strapped as in he's like wearing a chastity belt? 3am or pm? I like how beckett is in here with ryan. She's usually leading the investigations, but Ryan needs to be at the front.

& good, castlesito is out back in case ppl try to escape. Castle asks espt abt ryan <3 rysposito are such good friends. RC: So, how's Ryan holding up? JE: *considers what to say* JE, actually facing castle, smth men seem not to do: Three days after my last tour in Iraq, I'm at a diner with friends. A car backfires. My friends look around, I'm under the table. (cool, some esposito backstory too) RC: JE: . Ryan's just waiting for the next hit. *castle nods* ok but you know what I need a fic of that, I need the aftermath. What happens, he comes out from under the table all sheepish like "heheh, forget that happened" & casually orders eggs? What happened bro?

Weird how they are there in the mirror

Wait espt is driving, how does he have his gun pointing out the window? Hey wasn't ryan a narcotics cop? Also narcotics are technically only from opium products, not ALL drugs.

beckett's outfit is nice. She has a vest on over her shirt.

KR: Who's Ben Lee? SC: Who's Ben L --? Son of Clifford Lee.  KR: *understanding face* JE: *looks at ryan bc espt does not understand* Mmm dim sum Ah yes, the immigrant parent. She's just some kid! She doesn't have any undercover exp! & ryan looks mad! (in a quiet way) SC: Twice a week she was in their house. I told her I would drop the possession charges if she brought me some solid intel on Lee's criminal operations. She said okay. And somehow she tipped them off and they killed her. KR: KR: *looks over at espt* KR: That is it? SC: I just handed you a solid lead, what do you want some more? What is this? KR: Yeah. How about the truth? KB, in obs room where ryan can't hear her: Come on, Ryan. Keep it together. KR: You expect us to believe that you work a case for years and then one lucky Saturday night you just happen to roll up on the perfect CI? *lower* See, I did my time in Narcotics, Carver, huh? I know a shortcut when I hear one. SC: Not you, Ryan. If I didn't know any better, I would think you were accusing me of something untoward. KR: *stands up* SC: Whoa, hey. KR: You targeted Jane Herzfeld. *JE looks slowly from ryan to carver* You planted those drugs in her car and then you made her help you out. *voice jumping* You-- you sent her in there alone! No back up, no protection, and now she's dead! SC, nice & calm: Yeah well, I didn't make her dead. KR: Hell, you didn't. You may have not pulled the trigger, but you're as guilty as the creep who did. *projecting* SC: What about you, man, hmm? Look at yourself. Word around the house is that that creep used your gun. (where tf did he learn that rumour?) What kind of cop can't keep a hold of his own weapon? *stands up* *ryan pushes him, then grabs him & pushes him against the wall* KR: What did you say to me huh? KB: Let's go. KR: Say it! Hey, I want you to say it! Say it to my KB: Break it up. *pulls ryan off him* Break it up. We're all cops here, okay? (thinking about castle) SC, keeping his eyes on ryan with only the occasional glance to the person he's speaking to: If you're done, I think I'll take my leave now. KB: Yeah. Thanks for your help, Carver. SC: You got it. (seth walks off & they all watch him leave, coincidentally ending up facing Ryan who ended up closest to the door. Ryan looks down a bit, still angry but probs ashamed. He sighs.) KB: What are you trying to do? You want the Captain to come in here? *ryan doesn't answer* Go cool off. *ryan walks out, placing his hand on the doorframe. Castle looks back at beckett & espt tilts his head* "go cool off" is at least a masculine way of saying "hey sweetie do you need to take a break?"

Ooh good scene with the coffee. [KR is making coffee, KB passes the sugar. Ryan nods thanks.] KB big sister moments: Guy's a jerk. [Ryan scoffs a laugh and nods.] KR: When I started in Narcotics, I was so green I--I didn't know how things got done. *chuckles* One day there was this major bust, street gang cooking meth. They were stacking up guys in the bullpen, taking their statements one by one. Place is a zoo. I'm answering phones in the squad. Girl on the line, name of Alicia, asking for my lieutenant, so I call out across the bullpen "Hey, Lieu! Alisha's on the phone for ya." [Beckett chuckles.] KR: It was her tip got these guys nailed and all of them just heard me call out her name. *beckett stops smiling at his silly little mistake bc she realizes how serious this silly mistake was* Searched all day and all night looking for her before the gang could get word back to the street that she was a nark. KB: Well, did you find her? KR: I did. I got her into Witness Protection, but…that was the stupidest thing I'd ever *laughs* done as a cop. [Beckett smiles and shakes her head.] KR: Until the day Jerry Tyson got the drop on me and stole my weapon. KB: KR, looking mad again: Carver is a jerk…but he's got a point. (except it wasn't you being stupid it was someone beating u up, which, idk if that's any better.) & yk what, mature of him to admit that a jerk has a point. KB, softly: Come on. *points with her head* My knowledge of where things are sucks. I see them coming out of the break room but idk where it is. I need a floor plan.

I love getting a bit of ryan history. I also like his voice here. There is a significant amount of vocal fry, which usually happens at the end of speaking or when getting quieter. He's tired.

KB, probs cheering him up by taking him around: You up for a trip to Chinatown? KR, serious: Hell yeah. JE, probs also trying to include his friend, besides, ryan always is with espt: Yo. Uniforms at Grand Central caught a break. They found a clerk who works at a mailbox center around the corner who says he rented a box to Jane on the day she died. I'm gonna go check it out. You want to roll with me? KR, with his big sister: No, I'm with Beckett.

KB: Wading through 4 years of prison records it's…a lot of work. RC, the man who tails sexy beckett & skips out on paperwork: I don't mind. bc he feels guilty & also wants to help his friend

Love chinatown

*focuses on That Guy's face for a sec* *they sit down* clifford (retroactively): please, sit Wow boys lookin real tiktok-like & this is in what 2012? Bad cop, ryan was right. Unless cliff is lying. Philip being vocal. You REALLY ruled out carver? wow acab. Ur household staff is on ur payroll u'r mafia ofc they can confirm ur alibi. Say thank you, pigs!

Lots of files castle bringing home Girl u'r going to go to college shut up again with the not really. I love when the b plot comes in.

did ryan change his shirt today? JE: She was looking to get out of town, but she wasn't going alone Ah the good old days when your doctor makes you go to the desert or the seaside, "you're dying & the only cure is a vacation" I mean like we need to start doing that again. My mom: prescription label? The bottle: *actually doesn't have one* you can TELL he's too tall for the clothes? That would be a weapon <3 nice transition.

wait different clothes, castle's already home, it must have transitioned to the next day lil bro: rhyming. Guy, alibi, lie

KB: Castle, we just got some bad news, so no hypotheticals. Just give us a name. RC: Well, I have to start at the beginning-- KB: Name. RC: Jin Hai Li Chang. KB+KR: ? KB: Okay, start from the beginning. RC: Thank you. So I realized last night, 3XK would never give a cop's gun to a friend. A--a gun that hot would be a--a curse, not a blessing, but he would give it to an enemy. Oh yeah, where I live all the chinese kids have their english name legally there as well as their chinese name legally there. Tyson is insane. KR: But...Philip and Tyson were sworn enemies. Why would Philip accept the gun? RC: The two eventually became friends. KB: It happens. (boys) RC: Not with Jerry Tyson. That guy doesn't have any friends. He's a psychopath. He wanted payback and he was willing to wait. So insane.

student tutor is nit romeo & juliet, informant gang is romeo juliet, student teacher is fanfiction Why is espt talking but the cam is in ryan? I get it this is a ryan centric ep but I want to lipread

Ryan *all philosophical*

FM: You here to let me out? KR, sleeves rolled up: Not to let you out, Finn. To set you free. FM: (scoffs/laughs) You cops, man. What's that supposed to mean? "Set me free"? KR, sitting down chill: The truth, Finn. The truth sets you free. (all catholic-like) I've been looking for it all night. I finally found it. Who knew the truth would be hiding in a juvie report from 1996? *crosses legs* You got grabbed up moving paper for a Chinatown bookie. Do you remember who bailed you out? Hmm? Clifford Lee. You've been working for the Lees for years. Little jobs, because, well, Finn, let's face it, you're kind of a screw up. But you wanted more. So when you found out Ben Lee needed a tutor, you recommended your ex, Jane, thinking it would earn you points with the family. And you watched it all go sideways. Jane and Ben fell in love, *sits up* decided to leave town. You thought, what if the family blamed you? (I thought he DID kill her actually) Because no one leaves the family business. Not even for love. So, you tried to make her change her mind, *stands up* and you fought, but you couldn't change her mind. So, you made a call to Philip, and then Philip went and got Jane. [Ryan slams the evidence bag with Jane's cross necklace against the cell gate.] KR: Remember this, Finn? I talked to her mother. *Finn has started to cry* She says you gave this cross to Jane on her 21st birthday. She was holding it when she died. For comfort. Because she knew she was gonna die. She was so afraid. Oof my folk catholic heart, this hurts so good.

The staring contest between ryan & philip WOAH LOOK AT THOSE TWO FACE TO FACE SO CLOSE STANDING LIKE THAT DANG

I mean yeah, keep the heat on you might get smth, but they might sue bc u r harrassing them. Ryan lower your voice when talking to your boss like that VG, calmly: Take the rest of the day off, Ryan. I've actually been thinking for a while that Ryan should not be on this case. *ryan stalks off real fast* VG, while he's out the door: You need to clear your head! (he does.) JE: *looks at her then also stalks out* *castle follows* KB: *uses two fingers to sassily close the door behind her*

*they all sit for a sec bc nobody knows how to proceed* *Ryan grabs his gun & coat & whatever from his desk and walks off* JE: Where're you going? KR: I'm gonna do just like the Captain said, take the rest of the day off. *flips his keys in his hands* KB: JE: *follows ryan*

This scene reminds me of when espt went with Ike & ryan followed him. It's just like that moment. JE: Hey. Wherever you're going, I'm going with you. KR: It's my fight. JE: And you don't want me getting involved. It's my case, too. And you're my partner. (<3 <3 <3) KR: I'm taking a run at Ben Lee. JE: The Lees will have him locked down. I'm betting his old man won't let him go out in public alone. KR: Then I guess we can't go in there looking like cops.

Oh

Oh my

[Ben Lee does his homework, watched by the bouncer/bodyguard from the dim sum. Esposito comes in dressed like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.]

(tho college does have ppl of all ages) JE: Oh, snap! Is that Philip? JE: Yo, what's good, son? I ain't seen you in a minute. Man, how've you been? BL: He thinks I'm my brother. STUDIERS: Shh! Quiet. BL: Happens with the Gwailo. JE: What's up? BODYGUARD: Move along. JE: Man, why you touching up on me? Hey, man, you better check your totem. Hey, Philip, tell them that we boys. Tell your boy, Thor, that we boys. BODYGUARD: Go outside. You can call Philip on his cell later. [The bodyguard casually wrestles Esposito out of the library.] JE: Philip, tell him! You've changed, Philip.

Ok so a note on the costumes: in lotr & the hobbit they dressed ppl up in costumes that made them look shorter, the actors weren't actually THAT short, but their clothes created that illusion. This is what is going on here

& while espt looked insane, ryan looks somewhat normal. What's up with his hair tho? Ryan puts the pic in his pocket oof

KB: What the hell were you two thinking, going to see Ben Lee when Gates specifically said "stay away"? (gates DID say to stay away bro) JE: Who's gonna tell her, Beckett? Not me. Ryan, are you planning on telling the Captain what we did? KR: Not me. Castle? RC: Who, me? No way. *while taking a photo of them dressed up like that XD* KB: Nice, smartass. My question is, why did they go to the precinct dressed like THAT? also where did they get these outfits? I can see that Ryan would have this stuff but espt looks insane. If u didn't want gates to find out, don't come back looking like... that & then gates comes out like "detective ryan there's someone here ot see you" meaning she knows he's here & she sees him looking like this & knows ben has asked to see him.

Remember that time that girl on tumblr was like watching a movie with a sexy guy in it & she clenched her jaw so hard she had to see the dentist? Yeah that's how I feel.

Ryan's got a tshirt on, I ain't ever seen him like that. Ben just has a folding table in the middle there to study at? wtf bro? tbh I understand Philip: Sometimes it's a gift, not knowing the truth. RC: Ben was supposed to lead Philip to a confession, not force a confrontation. Well he knows how the mob works this is the way to get it No philip KNOWS to dance around it & he knows it's right wow that's a heck of a threat ... & it tipped philip off The music is great btw, who's the composer?wair wati wait philip just pulled a gun on his own bro? (tho he didn't seem to take the safety off or bring up the bullet) Bruh he put his hands behind his back so u could cuff him, you throw him to the ground like that? WOAH BEN PULLED A GUN I like how philip still cries "ben no" when ben gets shot. Still cares When do you do chest compressions? I just looked it up. The internet is great. "If they do have a pulse but aren't breathing, give them CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) until help arrives." I thought you only gave chest compressions if they had no pulse. "If there is no pulse or breathing within 10 seconds, begin chest compressions." I thought that there was smth LIKE cpr but just for breathing.

Castle's smile... Poor guy, his deal he wants 15-25? Wow that's usually smth ppl try to get OUT of KB: with parole in 10 for giving us Tyson's new alias and I need to give the D.A. a recommendation. This might be our chance to get 3XK, Castle. RC being smart: No. It's a setup. Jerry Tyson gave that gun to Philip Lee knowing he would use it, so there's a good chance he knew we'd eventually get to Philip. KB: Maybe. So what? RC: So, nothing Tyson told Philip would be the truth. Giving Philip Lee a good deal for bad information? That's just another win for Jerry Tyson. KB: Are you sure? RC: Sure enough. Jane Herzfeld deserves justice. *gets up*Life in prison for Philip Lee. No deals. We'll get 3XK. And we'll do it right. KB: KB, smiling: Damn, Castle. Look at you, thinking like a real cop.

KR & JE are taking down the murder board. JE watches KR.

KB: Hey, guys? Hey, you could look a little happier. Today was a win, right? (except ryan said he would be ok ONCE THEY GOT 3XK IN CUFFS.) KR: Well, I keep thinking about Seth Carver, sending Jane into the Lee's all alone, no backup. Do I really get to call myself a better cop? RC: You are a better cop, Kevin. (OOF THE FIRST NAMES) You're a better man, because you didn't send him in there alone. JE: Hey, there's your boy. [Ryan turns around to see Ben Lee escorted in by a Witness Protection officer.] KR: Ben. Good to see you back on your feet. JE: Hey, that was a pretty impressive performance back there. RC: Yes, you have a future in stunt work, my friend. (So HOW MUCH of that was a performance?) KR: Guys, this is Marshall Mike Drooen from Witness Protection. He's escorting Ben to his new home in Los Angeles. MIKE DROOEN (nods): Detectives. Ben, your plane leaves in an hour. BL: Thanks. I…just need a minute. [The others give Ben and Ryan some space.] BL: Thank you. I wouldn't have had the courage to do what I did without you. KR: Well you have your life back now. Live it on your own terms. It's what she wanted. [Ryan hands Ben a picture of live Jane. Ben leaves.]

Castle: *clears his throat loudly while preparing drinks* RC: Let's, uh… keep this party a little quiet though, alright? If the Captain hears, I'm sure she'll blame me. KB: Who's gonna tell her? Not me. You? JE: Nope. KB:And what about you, Ryan? KR: Mm-mm. KB: Well then, I think we're good.

Bro they already made a toast Mum guessed this was his wedding speech. To bravery and commitment. To love and sacrifice.

[kkujo]

"can't even have fun-" the fun in question being a transphobic asshole.. like. no genuinely girlies if you're spending hours each day posting abt how much you hate trans ppl for the "safety of women"... girl go to a fucking protest or some shit ur doing NOTHING for activism you are genuinely just making yourself look like an asshole. why can't u make a post abt women's rights without being an unpleasant and mean person towards other individuals..?

[sasukeisawake]

some important anchor-point revelations from tonight’s server 

[aerltarg]

☕️ favourite asoiaf theory

varys the merman or tyrion the time travelling fetus LMAO

also every alternative jon's parentage theory aside from r+l=j. n+a=j truthers aka ppl willfully living in denial are rlly funny, and some rabid stark stans who want jon to be the starkiest stark ever so much that they come up w some nonsense abt “which brother impregnated lyanna breaking space-time continuum” never fail to make me wheeze. all of them hate the idea of jon having anything to do w targs so much that they just go out of their way to twist canon into smth it is not (which is, unfortunately, a very widespread thing in this fandom). and often just dig the bigger grave for starks at that lol

[upd: nowadays some folks even claim jon's mother is ELIA of all ppl 😭 it's one of my favourites now as well as “rhaegar crowned lyanna at harrenhal bc he couldn't properly see through his helmet so he mistook dark-haired lyanna for dark-haired elia”]

also honorary mentions go to the 152626 variations of why rhaegar didn't love lyanna bc for some reason ppl refuse to interpret their (very easy to interpret btw) story right lmao

this fandom is absolutely on crack and this kind of stuff is at least funny enough. jonsas/stansas kind of crack isn't as much, unfortunately, bc one moment you laugh at them and the very next you are absolutely terrified bc you've just found out some rlly horrible shit abt them or their other “theories” lol

so, well, you see i'm very open to any serious theories and speculations and interpretations, e.g. dany is the younger more beautiful queen (bc it makes sense since cersei and dany are clear foils which is confirmed by grrm and bc of other reasons) or tyrion will become the dragonrider, etc. however, i also can entertain many alternatives! it's all fun while we stay respectful to each other even if we disagree and don't sink to the level of intellectual dishonesty of the cursed side of the fandom. i just personally think that things like r+l=j, jon will be kitn at least for some time, wargbowl, nymeria and her pack will play a big role in the future, joncon and cersei will set kl on fire, young griff will drop dead before dany sets foot on westeros, dany is aa/tptwp/tswmtw are all (more or less) either confirmed to be valid/canon by grrm outside of books themselves or are as close to be considered canon as we can get due to the canon material in the main books.

[luvdsc]

OMG @ that anon who shared their random dream abt johnny i can relate to u so much KFDSJKJD this happened to me but with hyuck. i've had like 3 dreams of hyuck and what's so weird is that they're always in the same setting,, which is in his dorm room?? and we do the same thing ALWAYS which is either chill/hang out n play or cuddle (i mean,, i aint complainin tho) the latest one i had was that we were play fighting and all of the sudden,, out of nowhere my nose bleeds?!?!?!? AND ME N HYUCK ARE LITERALLY FREAKIN OUT?? CUS MY NOSE IS BLEEDING?/ AND HYUCK JUST SCRAMBLES THRU THE ROOM TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING AND HE THEN RUSTLES THRU MY BAG AND GETS A TAMPON. he's holding the tampon and he looks me dead in the eye, and just shoves it up my nose (not violently tho thank gOd) and he just beams at me with the brightest smile (like a preschooler who's proud of his stick man drawing 🥺😭), and then he suddenly was liek, "oH wAit, i fOrgot something!" and hyuck just grabs another tampon out of my bag and shoves it up his nose??? and he says "that's better, we're now matching!!! :D" and i'm just like: ????👁👄👁??? wtf he's so cUTEANDWEIRDOHGOD,, for awhile both of us were just standing there like sims players with tampons up our noses LMAO and then i asked him,, "cuddle?" and he answered me by attacking me with an aggressive bear hug and screamed "cUDDLE!" like he was a spartan soldier ready to go to war LMAO. it was the oddest yet cutest thing ever in my life and i woke up with a smile on my face oh gosh. AND OMG I HOPE U FINALLY FIND WINWIN IN UR DREAMS MISS CAT!!!! U DONT DESERVE THIS SLANDER :// YA'LL LET MISS CAT SEE WINWIN IN HER DREAMS IN PEACE FOR GODS SAKE!!! BFDVJSD btw i hope u have a great day luvs! 😚

- 🐼 anon

oooo so a little psychology about dreams !!! 💕your brain stores info and memories in a certain manner, kinda like file cabinets. so for you, I think your brain stores college stuff like dorms and nct in the same drawer or file cabinet, so it mixes the two subjects together and creates your dream! that may be the reason why you always get hyuck and a dorm room together for your dreams 💘 DBHDIDJDDKKD WAIT OH MY GOD THIS REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF SHE’S THE MAN 😭😭😭 WHEN DUKE AND HIS FRIENDS ARE LIKE WHY DO YOU HAVE TAMPONS AND SHE DEMONSTRATES STICKING IT UP HER NOSE FOR POTENTIAL NOSEBLEEDS AND THEN LATER ON DUKE USES ONE TOO LDBKDJDJD I NEED TO REWATCH THAT MOVIE SOON NOW AAAAAA but omg that’s literally the cutest dream ever, honey bee !!!!! 🥺💗💗💗💗 I wish I got cute dreams too 🤧 NDHDJNDJSDJ ikr 😭😭 I can’t even see winwin in my dreams, what is this 😔😔 I remember getting a dream where jeno was my bf and jaemin was suffering second male lead and since I lucid dream, I was just there like 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️ are you serious. And thank you so much, sweetpea, I hope you have a lovely day/night too !!! pls remember to stay safe and hydrated 🌸🌸

[dragonsballsz]

oof ok should probably clarify real quick:

i was not making a joke about goku hitting his head as a baby. i was joking about how many times he’s gotten hit in the head during fights, which irl would’ve led to multiple concussions.

i will never ever ever EVER make brain damage jokes on purpose. if i make a joke that you think might be about brain damage, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. i almost certainly did not mean it that way, and will gladly clarify. if the joke isn’t salvageable, i will take it down.

this is what happens when you don’t keep up with your training, gohan

[lexicals]

I'm dead serious abt this as a mood indicator btw if you see me posting studies there's a very good chance I am Having A Time

[isengard]

omg if u could do that I would come back from the fucking dead just to see his gorgeous face tbh and there I go being gay once more buuuttt I'm gonna need some Woo Jiho too, yes I'm high maintenance and that I am sorry abt :))))) I still hate u btw making me blush and shit like that how could u

i got u it’ll prob cost some serious buckaroos but it’ll b worth it if u come back 2 life

also i will not apologize 4 being smart ;)