#i'm booking an appointment with my doctor this is tiring at this point

[pepsi-maxwell]

may be back btw how we doing

[orionremastered]

Requested via DMs

Masterlist

Helping Hand

Dick Grayson [DCD]

When they say 'opposites attract', the two of you are the prime example.

Dick is in the center of the room, doing flips and handstands and whatever else the agile swan can accomplish while you stand in the corner, afraid to bump into anything and everything and therefore give yourself another bruise.

"It's okay," Dick always tells you. But you've endured bullying for it in school and that's not okay, which was what he always told you too.

Slowly but surely, he teaches you a simple stretch routine. It's something you were never really able to do, especially not a three minute one, but he's a good teacher.

"See? Told you that you could do it."

Hmm. So he did.

Jason Todd [Dyslexia]

It's late and for once Jason doesn't have patrol. So you both do what you normally do on this rare occasion make out with you sitting on the kitchen counter which is him reading a book to you while you lay on top of him, slowly drifting off to sleep.

His lips murmur against your forehead as he slowly moves his head to kiss you there gently.

"You tired, baby?"

"No," you tell him with an unconvincing yawn. "One more chapter?"

He smiles, pressing another kiss to your forehead. He knows you'll be asleep when the chapter's finished, but he keeps reading anyway.

Tim Drake [ADHD]

Breakfast at 10am because you managed to get Tim to sleep is always the best kind of breakfast.

"You have a doctor's appointment in an hour."

Breakfasts where Tim has to remind you that you have an appointment today is always the worst kind of breakfast.

You rush to clean your teeth and get changed, putting on your shoes before heading out the door.

"You forgot your keys," he calls from the dining table.

"Right, yes, thanks," you run back inside and snatch the keys about to step out the door before he adds,

"You forgot your phone too."

Shit.

Damian Wayne [Dyscalculia]

"This is hopeless," you sigh.

Damian rolls his eyes, handing you a pencil. "You can do it. I know it's hard, but you can."

"Easy for you to say. You're like, an evil warlord master mind and king of the world or something."

You have a point and you both know it. Damian's eyebrow raises. "I'm evil?"

"You're not doing my math homework for me."

"Because I can't help you in the exam." And yet, you feel like he could find a way if he really wanted to.

The two of you have been at it for what feels like hours, trying to help you understand math concepts that everyone else in your year already understands. But Damian apparently thinks you can somehow figure it out.

"Come on," Damian says. "Ten more minutes and then we can take a break."

Apparently you can't make text yellow anymore so Tim's fucken orange ig 🤷‍♀️

[genericpuff]

Hey y'all, Episode 67 will be out as soon as it's ready. I'm not gonna lie, coming off the back of a crazy holiday season, I was hoping things were gonna get back on track with the update schedule, but the last 2-3 weeks have brought about a whole new whirlwind of issues:

I took our cat to the vet a few weeks ago to get him checked out (esp because he wasn't eating as much as usual and we wanted to make sure he wasn't sick). The usual vet we go to has become a shithole, the doctor we got was extremely unhelpful and every interaction I've had with other members of staff there has been confusing and unpleasant. After an hour of an appointment that was more uncomfortable than it should have been, we were out $700 which was absurd, even for usual vet fees. After I shared the more detailed version of this story with friends IRL, some of them mentioned that apparently this particular clinic (among others throughout Canada) was bought by an American company. So that certainly explains a lot -_-

Car broke down and that cost like $800 to fix. Thankfully wasn't as expensive as the fucks at Canadian Tire quoted us, but it was still another huge expense on top of the vet bill.

Our shop moved locations this weekend, which took a lot of time to both prepare for and finally pull off over the course of the last few weeks. My new booth is at least set up enough to tattoo but there's still a lot left to do to make it comfortable.

Now my cat is potentially developing jaundice (sign of liver failure) which lines up with his blood test results from the vet showing increased liver enzyme levels or something like that (but they were apparently not enough of an emergency for the vet to actually do anything about it). I booked with a different vet clinic but they can't get us in until the 20th. So I booked an appointment for today with the emergency vet up the road. I'm terrified for him, he's an old cat so it was inevitable that his health would start to turn, but other than his increasingly picky eating habits and signs of jaundice, he's still acting like himself and it's breaking my heart that he could be hiding his own symptoms. I really just do not need a pet death on top of everything else that's going wrong right now.

As for the episode itself, it's not even that long, but the set design is pretty detailed and in our attempts to create some 3D models for ourselves, it resulted in bugs that had to be fixed on the fly. Thankfully I think we've finally got it down (and it's a recurring location so it's not like it won't be useful to have again in the future) but overall the episode production just hasn't gone as smoothly as it could have compounded by everything else mentioned above.

None of these are excuses, just reasons that have justifiably required my attention. Depending on how the vet appointment goes, I'll try and stream later tonight so that folks can at least watch some of the drawing progress for this episode. Episode 67 will be out by next Saturday at the latest, assuming I'm not able to get it out in the next day or two.

I know I'm a broken record at this point, but I'm incredibly sorry for the wait and I appreciate your patience with me. I'm begging for things to calm down soon.

[ironstrange1991]

Forbidden (Part 8): I'm Yours

+18 Smut

Pairing: Doctor Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: When Y/n attends a doctor's appointment she ends up discovering something about Stephen's past. At night, desire and reason wage a battle that both she and Stephen cannot fight against.

Word Count: 11,3k

Warnings: SMUT: Fingering, oral sex with male and female receiving, cum eating.

A/N: This one is very long but I had a very nice time writing it. I really hope you guys enjoy it and have a nice reading ;) - Also I was very tired while editing this one so any typos os grammar mistakes will be fixed later.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Stephen had no idea what he was doing. He didn't know how to cook.  He barely knew how to make coffee and tea, but he needed to have something ready to offer you when you woke up. So he got up and went straight to the kitchen to try his luck preparing breakfast.  However, his attempt was frustrated when the eggs began to stick to the bottom of the pan and the bacon, forgotten in the fire, turned to charcoal.

"Shit" He cursed, turning off the heat and using the napkin to try to remove any evidence of smoke from the kitchen. "Okay, plan B." He said throwing the napkin on the stove and resorting to the sling ring in the pocket of his pants. He was about to open a portal when he heard Wong and America's voices approaching.

"What's that smell?" America said as they entered the kitchen. She looked from Stephen to the stove and back to him. "Were you trying to cook?"

He sighed, returning the sling ring to his pocket.

"How many times have I told you to stay out of my kitchen, Strange?" Wong scolded, taking a good look around and then pointed to the frying pan. "Was that supposed to be bacon?"

 "It's my kitchen. I'm the master of this Sanctum and yes, it was supposed to be bacon, but I forgot it in the fire because I was trying to cook the eggs..."

America sat at the table and looked at him for a second. "This is so weird. Why are you acting so weird? And since when do you try to cook?"

Wong moved his fingers and immediately the remnants of Stephen's attempt to make breakfast disappeared. The smell also disappeared. "What does she eat?"

"Wait, who?" America asked and then smiled openly. “Does Y/n here?”

"He wouldn't try to make breakfast for himself." Wong confirmed. “He would rather starve.”

Stephen rested his hands on his hips, running his tongue around the corner of his mouth. "It's not what you’re thinking."

America grimaced. "Oh, gross."

"It's nothing like that. I picked her up at a party and we talked and it got late. That's all."

Wong smirked, clearly unconvinced. Somehow he had already started making a batter that Stephen thought was pancakes. The eggs were already scrambled and ready to go in the frying pan and the bacon slices were already arranged in the other frying pan. Of course he used magic to cook, but Stephen didn't even know how to do that. He never understood the cooking spells books.

"I have no idea what she eats..." He admitted.

"I'm sure she'll be satisfied. She doesn't seem very demanding..."  Wong said without a trace of humor.

Stephen frowned at the comment, but decided not to say anything. Instead he turned to America.

"How are things at Kamar Taj? Have you learned anything special that you want to show me?"

"Boring." The girl replied, "But my portals are more stable, and Wong let me read the astral projection books."

Stephen nodded turning to face Wong. "Is she ready for this yet?"

"No, but she's impatient and stubborn, much like someone I know." Wong responded. He was finishing preparing the eggs and bacon and starting to fry the pancakes.

The corners of Stephen's lips turned up in a discreet smile. "I'm sure she can handle it, then."

America smiled proudly.

...

When you opened your eyes, you had to make an effort to understand where you were, but little by little the memories of last night came back to you and you felt your heart racing in your chest. Your hand felt the mattress next to you, finding only empty space where Stephen once was and you understood that you were alone in the room.

You smiled to yourself while a movie played in your head and without thinking about what you were doing, you hugged his pillow and brought it to your nose, breathing in his delicious smell into your lungs. It was fresh, like some kind of herb scent you couldn’t identify. You decided you loved that smell.

 Everything was so surreal, but at the same time it felt so right. Every kiss, every touch, and that orgasm... Even though you felt blushing, you didn't feel like you had done anything wrong, quite the opposite. And you wanted more. So much more. You wanted to experience everything with him, give yourself completely to him. Somehow you felt like everything made sense now. You never found anyone to lose your virginity to because in reality it was always Stephen.

It took a few minutes for you to finally get up and you were leaving the bathroom, dressed in your dress and boots when Stephen entered the room.

"Hey, good morning." He said, approaching you and kissing you softly as if you had already done that a million times.

"Good morning" You said into his lips. "I used your toothbrush again."

Stephen smirked "Hmm, I can get used to this."

"Hmm, you're so responsive." He whispered in your ear and then stepped away smirking, pleased to see you falling apart for him.

"Maybe you should." You wrapped your arms around his neck and stood on tiptoe to kiss him properly now and his tongue tasted like coffee and toothpaste.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and broke the kiss only to tuck his head into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply. Not satisfied, he rubbed his goatee on your skin and finished with a little bite on your earlobe, making your entire body tremble.  He was such a tease, you thought.

"Breakfast is ready." He informed casually. "Wong and America are back. They're waiting for us downstairs."

You needed a minute to recover from the state he left you in so you could finally think straight.

"Stephen... I don't know if it's a good idea. Wong..."

"He made you breakfast. He has his reservations because of the age difference, but he's on our side, sweetheart. Both are."

You seemed to think for a second.

"Or I can take you home now, like I promised." He offered but you could see the disappointment in his expressions. You shook your head taking his hand in yours.

"No, it's okay. I'm starving and I'm not looking forward to leave you, anyway."

"Me neither." He confessed kissing you. “I feel like a teenager. Don’t want to let you go.”

You smiled feeling your heart flutter in your chest.  You were understanding little by little that that feeling would be an usual thing from now on.

You couldn't say that you ever imagined sitting at the table having breakfast with Wong knowing that he knew you and Stephen were together. It was kind of a dream come true, but at the same time it was scary too. Wong was scaring. He didn't hide the way he looked at you and Stephen. America also didn't make a point of hiding the smile on her face and you began to realize that both of them had joined the dots and reached the very obvious conclusion that you were Stephen had slept together. Well, you had slept together, but the term usually implied that you had had sex, but you hadn't. Not exactly. Well, everything was a bit confusing at the moment.

"America told me you have a show scheduled for tonight." Stephen said, breaking the silence that was starting to get awkward. "You hadn't told me anything."

In fact, you had completely forgotten. Ever since Stephen took you to the Sanctum, everything outside seemed to have ceased to exist.

"I forgot to mention. I actually have a rehearsal this afternoon. It's a big avenue, I'm excited to see how it goes."

Stephen smiled reassuringly at you, clearly noticing the nervousness in your voice. “I’m sure you’re going to be great.”

"Thank you.” You smiled  “You guys should come.  I'd love to have some familiar faces in the audience." You added.

"I would love to..." Stephen started to say, but was quickly cut off by Wong.

"But he will have to decline because we have work to do."

"Come on Wong, it's Sunday." America complained. "Stephen just got back."

"And that's why he has a lot to do." Wong completed and then returned to you "You'll see that dating a master of the mystical arts is not as advantageous as you think, Miss Y/l/n. Especially one his age."

You could notice a slight blush on Stephen's cheeks, that’s why you were firm in your answer. "I am very grateful for everything you guys do to protect us, Wong, and I am prepared for the challenges that await me."

Stephen smirked, but soon turned his attention to America who was whispering about the possibility of going to the show.

Wong pretended not to notice and turned to you again "What about your family? I don't believe Stark will be satisfied with this new arrangement."

"It's not an arrangement, it's a relationship, Wong" Stephen corrected.

"We agreed that we'll wait to tell Tony. It's still too early, but I'm sure he'll understand." You said trying to sound confident, but deep down you were terrified with the idea.

Wong didn't say anything else and you had the strange feeling of being in an interview, as if Wong wanted to know if you were good enough or weren't going to cause problems for Stephen. The situation was awkward, but the idea of ​​Wong caring about Stephen was pleasant, after all you knew Stephen had no family besides Wong and America.

...

“Have a nice show” Stephen said as you walked through the portal to your room.

"You are not going?" The disappointment in your voice was palpable which made him smile.

"I promise I'll try." He said threatening to close the portal.

"Stephen..."

He waited for what you had to say, but you actually didn't have anything specific to say, you just wanted to spend a few more seconds in his presence.

"I really loved last night." You confessed, feeling your cheeks blush.

He smirked seeming visibly relieved.

"I know you're insecure about what we did, but I enjoyed having that moment with you and... I really want to have more of that, of everything."

He nodded and his smile widened into a cute sideways smile.

"Me too, sweetheart. Me too."

"Bye then. Hope to see you tomorrow."

"You will. One way or another."

...

The days that followed were a torment. You were on fire inside, but you needed to pretend everything was normal. You needed to contain all that euphoria and act as if nothing was happening and of course you were failing miserably.

Your life was changing for the better. College was going very well, your band, that you always saw as something condemned to failure, was having success and recognition that you never dreamed it would have, your show on the biggest avenue you've ever played was a real hit - it could have been better if Stephen had been there to see you, but unfortunately it wasn't possible as he explained - and most important of all, you and Stephen were together and even though everything had to be hidden, you were more than happy about it. It was a dream come true.

It was a Wednesday morning and you were having breakfast with Nat, Tony - who had returned from the mission the day before - and Pepper. You were late for college, but you had decided it wouldn't hurt to miss the first class of the morning since you were way ahead of your class anyway. You hadn't been able to see Stephen since Sunday night and although you spoke every day on the phone you missed him deeply. You thought about making up some excuse to go to the Sanctum, but it seemed he would be too busy and couldn't pay attention to you even if you did.

You sighed, feeling bored and just pretending to participate in the conversation and your cell phone started to buzz with messages that didn't stop arriving. You knew it was Stephen. He always texted you at that time to say good morning and wish you a good class. It was cute actually, but you didn't want to answer because you knew you would look silly reading his texts, blushing like a teenage girl, and you didn't want Tony to ask questions, but the texts kept coming and at first Tony pretended not to care by putting a lot of effort into reading his newspaper, but when the buzzing continued he placed the newspaper on the table and stared you.

"If you don't read these texts I'm going to make Friday hack your cell phone and read them to us." He threatened.

You took your phone and read the texts feeling your cheeks blush and of course Pepper noticed because she were very observant, but she made a point of starting a new topic to distract Tony for which you were glad.

"The record company called to schedule a new meeting with Y/n. Apparently the success of Sunday's concert caught their attention."

"The fact that her songs are playing on the radio non-stop seems like a good reason too." Tony added.

"Those fuckers were extremely disrespectful last time. I don't see any point in giving them a second chance when you're doing so well on your own." Nat addressed you, but you weren't really paying attention to them, your mind was still on those texts.

"Y/n... are you listening to what we're saying?" Tony pressed.

You put your phone back in your pants pocket without answering and shrugged, "I like the idea of ​​being independent. I've never really wanted a record company, not like this. We all know they're only interested in having the Stark name under their wing."

Tony sighed "You might be right." He pointed to your pocket "Who was it?"

"America" ​​You lied through your teeth.

"What does she want?" He asked and Pepper gave you a disapproving glare  that said she wasn't buying that lie.

"She's still struggling with her philosophy classes. Maybe I'll stop by the Sanctum tomorrow to help her." You said taking the opportunity to come up with a excuse to go there.

"It's a great idea. Just be careful not to end up disturbing the wizards. You know, protectors of reality bla bla bla." Tony teased.

"Stephen and Wong will probably be at the Kamar Taj." You ran to explain.

"Excellent." He said, wiping his lips on his napkin and standing up. "Anyway, I trust your good judgment about the band and everything else. It's been working out really well so far." He said, bending down to place a small kiss on the top of your head like he always did since you were a child. You smiled at him sheepishly, feeling bad for hiding something so important from him.

"What are the plans for today?" Pepper asked getting up too.

"Work in the workshop if I'm lucky. You?"

"Company shareholders meeting."

He made a funny face "I'm glad I'm not you."

You watched the two walk away with a smile on your face. Tony and Pepper were perfect for each other and they gave you a sense of family and belonging that you never imagined you would feel again after your parents died.

Your cell phone buzzed again, and you knew it was Stephen asking for an answer.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on or am I going to have to threaten you too?" Nat asked looking visibly bored. Apparently life as a convalescent Avenger wasn't all that exciting and since Bruce had a lot of work he couldn't give her the attention she craved.

GOOD MORNING, LOVE. I HOPE YOU SLEPT WELL AND HAVE A GREAT DAY.

You took your cell phone and decided to show her the texts. It was time for you to tell someone and the options were her and MJ, but MJ was in Boston.

You stayed silent watching her reading the words you knew by heart.

I SCHEDULED AN APPOINTMENT FOR YOU WITH DR PALMER AFTER OUR CONVERSATION YESTERDAY. SHE ATTENDS AT METRO GENERAL HOSPITAL. IT WILL BE THIS AFTERNOON. I KNOW YOU ARE FREE BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME.

PLEASE GO AND WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT TONIGHT IF YOU WANT.

 I MISS YOU, SWEETHEART. TALKING ON THE PHONE IS NOT ENOUGH AND I CAN'T GET THE MEMORIES OF SATURDAY NIGHT OUT OF MY HEAD.

SO, WHAT DO YOU TELL ME? ARE YOU GOING?

It took Nat less than a minute to google who Dr. Palmer was and the look on her face showed that she had gotten it all wrong.

"You two aren't that stupid!" She said sharply and you felt offended that she could make assumptions about you like that.

"It's not what you are thinking." You defended yourself and took the cell phone out of her hand. "It's actually the opposite of that."

Nat waited for you to explain, and you glanced around the empty dining room.

"Nat, I'm virgin. I swear I thought you knew that, after all you are a Russian spy."

She raised an eyebrow. "I always knew that, but according to these texts you no longer are."

You smiled to yourself remembering the night you had with Stephen and decided that nothing in the world would make you tell that to Nat. "We had a moment together, it was good, but we didn't get to do anything. Not yet. He's decided to take it slow and respect my own time."

Nat nodded in agreement, looking offensively impressed.

"But the truth is, I don't want to wait another minute to do it. I really love him, Nat. It has to be him. It couldn't be anyone else."

"Look, I confess that Strange has surprised me positively. And I think it should happen, it's been a long time coming."

"Nat!"

"I'm just trying to say that I think he's sensible. As sensible as possible since he's picking this fight with Stark."

You bit the corner of your cheek trying to decide whether or not it was better to stop that conversation, but ended up not resisting. "But you're on our side, right? Stephen thinks that when we tell him, the Avengers will be against him. It's important to have at least one Avenger on our side. Someone who truly understands."

Nat sighed heavily, probably realizing the trouble she'd gotten herself into, but finally she smiled reassuringly. "I'm by your side."

...

You hated hospitals. Your nails continued to dig holes into your palms as you headed to the elevator of the huge, luxurious building to get to the obstetrics and gynecology floor, but it wasn't just the fact that hospitals made you feel sick that was making you anxious. In fact, you did yourself the bad favor of searching for Dr Palmer online during boring morning classes and found some photos of her and Stephen together at some events. You knew very well that Stephen worked at that hospital for years before his accident and that it was normal for him to have photos with his coworkers, but your anxious mind kept telling you that there was a compromising intimacy in those photos you saw.

You got out of the elevator in a kind of daze and observed the waiting room, which at that time was completely empty.

“Miss Y/l/n, right?” The secretary asked as you approached the counter. You smiled and nodded. You had been used to being recognized in places for a long time. It was the price you paid for being Iron Man's goddaughter.

"I have an appointment with Dr. Palmer."

"I need your ID for registration and we will need a photo for your record. Can you look at the camera, please?"

You did what the woman asked almost automatically, a whirlwind of thoughts racing through your mind.

You waited for what seemed like an eternity as the woman typed.

"Ready." She informed you and you handed her the credit card, but instead of taking it she just smiled.  "It says here that the appointment has already been paid for. Your ID. Just wait a minute. She'll call you."

You rolled your lips together "Is it okay if I ask who paid for the appointment?"

She looked at the monitor looking equally curious. "Let's see... It says Dr. Strange. Oh, he used to work here, you know? I came to talk to him a few times. Brilliant doctor. Of course, now that he's a superhero he doesn't come to the hospital anymore."

"I'm sure the fact that he can't practice medicine anymore is the real reason." You answered.

"Ah of course. A tragedy!"

You just nodded with a polite smile and walked away, sitting in one of the many empty armchairs drumming your fingers on the arms of it and letting your mind do what it did best. Stephen was a neurosurgeon, what reason did he had to come to the gynecology floor often enough for the secretary to remember him? What if they were more than work friends? What if they still kept in touch? Stephen just said that she was a friend, but didn't give any more details, however he felt free to pay for your appointment  with his own card. What if he had told her everything about you?

“Miss Y/l/n?” A velvety voice called, and you faced the doctor in all her glory dressed in a ridiculous pink coat, but it didn't make her any less beautiful for that. "Come in, please."

You entered the huge office that had plaques and awards with her name on shelves as if they were trophies.

"Before we begin, allow me to formally introduce myself. I am Dr. Christine Palmer."

You smiled politely "Y/n Y/l/n."

"Tony Stark's daughter." She said with a kind of reverence in her voice.

"Goddaughter, actually. But I don't think there's much of a difference." You corrected it.

She smiles, showing annoyingly perfect teeth. "Stephen told me about you. He called me personally to ask for the appointment, given his insistence should I assume something is wrong, miss Y/l/n?"

"Please, call me Y/n." You said feeling yourself blush. You had no idea how to start and the fact that this woman knew Stephen didn't help matters."

"I saw some pictures of you and Doctor Strange, are you friends?" You asked, scaping from the initial and most important question.

She seemed slightly confused by the question, but replied simply "Stephen and I are work friends, well we were work friends. I hadn't seen him in ages, in fact I was surprised when he called me."

You agreed "There's nothing wrong. I actually need a method of contraception." You exhaled slowly and finished speaking at once, "I'm a virgin and I intend to stop being so."

She nodded, keeping her expression professional, but you knew her head was working on the connection between what you just said and the fact that Stephen was so insistent that the appointment be as quick as possible, in addition to the fact that he paid for the appointment. For you, at least, the truth was almost obscene.

"I see. Well, there is a huge variety of methods. Pills are the most common, but I personally really like Implants.

"What is the most effective method?" You asked apprehensively.

She smiled, seeming to notice your hesitation and continued. "The pill requires an almost religious commitment. It must be taken every day at the same time and cannot be forgotten. For this reason, I usually recommend the implant. Furthermore, it is one of the methods that least affects your libido and since you just explained that you want to start your sex life now, I imagine this is an important aspect for choosing."

You nodded feeling like your face was on fire and she continued to pretend not to notice.

"It lasts for 3 years and can be reapplied after that and as there is no danger of forgetting like the pill, its effectiveness is usually 99.9%"

"Does it hurt?"

"It's a simple procedure and we use local anesthesia. It can be done today if you prefer."

You swallow thickly. "After I put it on, how long will it take before I can..." You let the words trail off in the air.

"It depends on when your last period was, but in general it is preferable to wait 10 to 15 days to be sure. Remembering that this does not mean that you cannot have sex before this period, but you need to use condoms."

You nodded. "Does it have side effects?"

"It is common for women to stop menstruating when using it, but it is also common to have breakthrough bleeding. In general, menstruation will be very irregular until your body gets used to it. The good news is that it tends to greatly reduce the effects of PMS."

You nodded. "Can we put it on now?"

"Sure." She said, getting up and going to one of the huge closets in the office.

When returning home in the taxi you could feel your arm slightly numb due to the anesthesia and the small bandage, as small as it was, was quite visible and you were going crazy thinking about what to say in case someone noticed.

Luckily when you entered the tower you didn't bump into anyone on the way to your room and after closing the door you threw yourself on the bed and called MJ, after all you owed her an update and there was indeed a lot to tell.

...

Stephen checked his cell phone every five minutes waiting for news, but every time he was disappointed. To make matters worse for him, the day was being particularly slow and he would rather be dealing with some interdimensional beast than facing that anxiety alone. He was particularly worried about the fact that he hadn't explained to Y/n that he and Christine had an affair years ago and being as smart as she was it was clear to him that it wouldn't take long for her to find out. That's if she hadn't already discovered it. God, he looked like a teenager experiencing his first love. What was Y/n doing to him?

He was in the Kamar Taj library doing the worst, most boring job in the world when America came running in looking for him.

"You won't believe what I almost managed to do!"  The enthusiasm in her voice made him bite back a snarky comment.

"I hope it's better than spending the whole afternoon cataloging books."

"So much better. I almost managed to conjure the mirrored dimension. I could even hear and see the glass breaking, but I couldn't maintain focus for long enough. Master Hamir said it's normal and that I have to keep trying."

"And he's right." Stephen said, putting the last book on the shelf and closing the ledger. He placed it in the librarian's desk drawer and checked his cell phone again. Nothing.

"Something wrong?" America asked and he shook his head.

"I hope not. Come here, I'm proud of you, kid."

America walked over and he wrapped his arms around her. It was a strange sensation. Letting someone get close to him like that after so long running away from any relationship with another person, however since America arrived, she started to soften his heart and Y/n was doing much more than that.

"Uh Stephen... you can let me go now."

"Oh ok." He said a little sheepishly and released the grip of his arms around her. America stepped away looking at the Sorcerer Supreme's book collection.

"Oh they are so mysterious. I would die to read one of those." She exclaimed!

"You wouldn't read them if you were dead."

She looked at him rolling her eyes "Have you read them yet?"

"Sometimes."

"So, I don't need to be a Sorcerer Supreme to be able to read them?"

"No. You just need to be smarter than I was when I read them and not cause problems."

She smiles "I think I can do that."

Stephen was ready to tell her it was easier said than done when they heard footsteps approaching in the hallway.

"Strange, are you done working here?" Wong asked, looking at them with a look that clearly said 'shouldn't you be doing something useful?'".

"Yep. By the way I'm heading back to Sanctum to check if everything's okay. Are you coming with me?" He asked America to which she grimaced.

"I still have one more class."

He nodded, taking his sling ring from his pocket and opening a portal home.

"See you tomorrow then."

...

It was past 10pm and you and Stephen were texting like two teenagers and you had to cover your mouth to muffle the sound of your giggles as you read each of his texts. He was so silly and cute and dirty and funny and so many other things that you had no way of knowing before you actually got to know him. Yes, he was a powerful sorcerer and a famous superhero, but when he talked to you, he was just Stephen and you felt yourself falling more and more in love with him with each passing minute.

I WANTED YOU WERE HERE

You suddenly confessed to which he texted back immediately.

YOU KNOW I CAN FIX THAT, RIGHT?

You bit your bottom lip, sitting up in bed immediately. Were he serious?

WOULDN'T IT BE VERY INAPPROPRIATE?

He answered with an emoji smiling sideways exactly like he used to do and just thinking about that smile made you simply abandon your reason. You got up and locked the door and took a look in the mirror. You were reasonably presentable. Fresh from the shower, comfortable lingerie covered by an old tee, hair tied in a messy bun. You smile at your image in the mirror and throw yourself on the bed, picking up your cell phone and answering.

I’M WAITING.

It didn't take a full minute before you heard the familiar hiss of the portal and Stephen walked past it with a smirk on his lips. He was dressed in sweatpants and a tee and his hair was wet and the smell of cologne made it possible to tell that he had also just gotten out of the shower.

"We can't make any noise. Tony and Pepper's room is next door." You whispered.

His smirk widened into a cocky grin. "I can fix that too." He whispered back.

"Yeah? How?"

He moved his hands in a complicated gesture and the walls were enveloped by a kind of ring of golden light that soon dissipated completely.

"Totally soundproof." He informed proudly. “Very useful spell.”

"That was sexy." You smiled, getting up and going to him. Stephen wrapped you in his arms containing your sudden advance and held your face gently directing you to his lips and kissed you slowly, but devilishly good and you felt your knees getting weak.

"I've missed you all day." He confessed as he finally allowed his lips to part to breathe. "I don't care how this sounds, Y/n, but I really don't know how I managed to spend so much time loving you from afar. I don't want to be away from you anymore. Never."

You didn't have time to formulate an answer because he pulled you to his lips again and this time he tightened his grip around your body and you could feel every muscle beneath the thin fabric of the t-shirt and the inviting heat coming from his skin.

"I've missed you all day too." You confessed, holding his hand and pulling him to your bed. You sat crisscrossed against the headboard and he sat facing you, but he stole one of your pillows and lay down next to you with the same naturalness as someone who always did that.

"But you kept me waiting for a text all day." He complained.

"Because I was a little mad at you and I didn't know what to say."

He sighed, "I knew I should have talked about Christine with you, but Sweetheart it was years ago, I swear I didn't think it was important enough to mention."

You ran your tongue along the corner of your cheek. "I knew there was something in those photos. MJ kept telling me I was being paranoid, but I'm never wrong."

Stephen buried his face in the pillow groaning, "That wasn't what you were mad about, was it?"

"No, but thanks for adding another reason."

He looked at you trying to be serious, but there was an arrogant smile on his lips. "I've always wanted to know what you're like when you're jealous."

"I am not jealous!" You defended yourself taking one of the pillows that were next to you and throwing at him. "I just think you have no idea how uncomfortable it was for me to be there talking to your ex about losing my virginity and choosing contraceptive methods when you made a point of making everything so obvious by insisting that the appointment was scheduled as soon as possible and the worst part, you paid for it."

"It was the very least I could do. You went there because of me." He defended himself.

"That’s not true. I went there because of me and Stephen, don't make me talk about a topic I don't feel comfortable talking about."

He said nothing, instead he continued looking at you waiting for you to speak.

"I don't need you to pay me anything. I'm Tony Stark's goddaughter!"

He rolled his eyes. "It's not about the money..."

He stopped and took a deep breath and then began to explain himself. "Y/n, you're half my age, less than that. You're a virgin, which scared me a little, I confess, but it also makes me feel protective towards you. I wanted you to have the best doctor in the city, probably in the country and I was anxious for us to resolve this as soon as possible and I didn't stop to think for a second about my past with Christine because it didn't mean anything to me. She was a friend I had sex with at work, that's all."

You opened your mouth to interrupt him several times, but ended up giving in. Deep down you knew you were being dramatic.

"She is very beautiful." You said with a pout.

"No more than you." He responded, opening his arms so you could cuddle into his chest. You lid down letting yourself be hugged as you became aware that Stephen was really in your room at that time of night. It was wrong somehow, even though you were an adult, the secret made everything feel so dirty, but you couldn't deny to yourself that you were enjoying the feeling.

You held Stephen's face in your hands and kissed him hard like you wanted from the moment he arrived and he let out a soft moan on your lips that made your heart jump in your chest.

"Now tell me about the appointment." He asked when you finally broke the kiss.

You told all the details of the most awkward medical appointment of your life and each time you brought new information you felt your face getting hotter.

"It's just a little sore now." You said as he ran his index finger lightly over the band aid you placed on your forearm.

"Well, I also have something to show you." He said moving the fingers of one hand and conjuring a sealed envelope. He handed it to you with a somewhat shy smile that was unusual for him, but equally beautiful.

"What is this?" You asked curiously.

"Open it."

You opened it and only after finding his name in the top right corner of the sheet did you understood.

The laboratory exam had a list of tests that were carried out to detect herpes, syphilis, hepatitis, HIV, among others and at the end of the sheet there was a single line that said: negative for the pathologies tested.

He waited silently for some kind of response, but all you could think was that you didn't need that. His words were enough for you.

"When did you take these tests?"

"Yesterday."

You handed the sheet back to him and kissed him softly "I believed you when you said you haven't had anyone in the last six months. You didn't need to..."

"But I wanted to. It's important to me that you know I'm clean. It's the least I could do since you..."

You waited for him to finish, but he just smiled.

“Since I…” You pressed.

"Since you're giving yourself to me."

You smirked at his choice of words.

"Is that what I'm doing?"

He held your chin steady and bit your bottom lip to tease you.

"You know very well what you are doing, young lady, and you know very well how much I am looking forward to it."

You nodded, but pouted "Your ex said we should wait at least 10 days..."

He rolled his eyes, "Don't call her that. It's not fair."

You let out a soft giggle "Fair enough, but it doesn't change what she said."

He kissed you softly and ran his index finger down your neck, down to your breast and circled your nipple until it got hard under your shirt.

"I’m a patient man." He said in the most anti-climax statement you could imagine.

"Well, but I’m not a patient woman. I'm so tired of waiting, Stephen. I've already waited too long." You grumbled, crossing your arms like a child indignant at being denied their favorite toy.

"For someone who have waited until now, you are very impatient indeed." He teased.

"For someone who hasn't had sex in six months, you're really slow."  You replied to which he let out a small laugh, but then he held your face in his hands and kissed you hard with tongue, teeth and a newfound passion that literally took your breath away.

"Just because I was trying to play nice, but now I think you've changed my mind. Now I’m going to take advantage of your inexperience. What do you say, sweetheart?"

You bit your lower lip, feeling your cheeks heat up, but you didn't let yourself be intimidated by your shyness. "Yes."

Stephen's eyes darkened with desire and a sly smile played on his lips. "Yeah? You don't even know what I have in mind and you're already saying yes."

You nodded "I trust you."

"But you shouldn't." He kissed you and pushed you onto your back and came on top of you, spreading your legs with his knees and fitting himself between them. He made a point of rubbing his hips against your core, making you feel his half-hard cock contained inside his pants. Unable to control yourself you let out a small moan and he chuckled in your ear making your skin prickle.

"You have no idea how much I want to make love to you finally. I've already waited too long..."

He kissed you again and ground himself against you without any shame and this time you didn't even try to contain your moan as your body responded to the stimulation with a wave of pleasure.

“Stephen…” You mumbled almost incoherently.

"Yes, sweetie. Tell me what you want."

"Touch me. I need you to touch me. I always imagined what it would be like to have your hands on me, your fingers..."

He smirked taking his hands under your t-shirt and grabbing your panties.

"You’re sure?" He confirmed and you nodded, raising your hips for him to take off your panties and your whole body shivered with the night air when he did so.

He lifted your t-shirt to waist level and finally allowed himself to look at your naked body, his hands slid up your legs and before you could understand what he was doing he started placing little kisses on the inside of your thighs and the brush of his goatee against your skin made your entire body prickle.

"Your skin is so soft and smells so good."  He praised, moving his lips in small wet kisses down your crotch and getting more and more dangerously close to where you really wanted him. "I imagined myself doing this so many times..."

"Stephen...please." You wonder if you knew what you were begging for. You just knew you didn't want him to stop, you just wanted much more."

But he stopped, at least long enough to give you a smug look and put his middle finger to his mouth. He sucked his own finger and then took it between your legs, opened your folds with his other fingers and touched your clit lightly, but enough to make your entire body tremble with the sensation.  He slid his finger up and down between your folds with absurd ease and you realized that you were shamefully wet and of course he noticed that too.

"Fuck sweetheart, is this all because of me?" He teased, moving his finger in circles on your clit and making your hips buck against his hand. "So sensitive. I've barely touched you yet."

You bit your lip trying to hold back a moan, but it escaped your lips anyway.

"It's okay, I like listening to you, love." He cooed encouraging you. "I'm going to try something else and you're going to tell me how you feel about it, okay?"

You nodded watching him dive between your legs. He licked you from bottom to top and then used his fingers to spread your folds and then licked again directly on your clit this time and you moaned outrageously loud. No words were necessary.

He hummed pleased with your reaction and gave it a long lick again and then began to flick the tip of his tongue on your clit sending shocks of pleasure throughout your body. The touch of his beard on your sensitive skin increased all the sensations even more.

"Fuck Stephen... oh my..." You stopped biting your lip and grabbing his hair with one of your hands without realizing what you were doing, but he didn't seem to mind.

You always heard about how good oral sex was, but you never imagined it felt this good and at the same time you were a mess of sensations and feelings because you had never been touched by a man before and not just any man was doing, it was Stephen, your Stephen and the realization of that brought you surprisingly close to cumming and you found yourself desperate to warn him because... wouldn't it be rude if you came in his face?

"Stephen, I think I'm gonna..."

But he stopped immediately upon hearing those words and emerged to look at you with the most beautiful and naughty smile in the world.

"You're very sensitive, sweetheart. I've barely started." He said, running a hand over his face.

"I didn't want to... in your face." You confessed and he smiled sweetly at you.

"Sweetheart, there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I'd love it if you did."

"But isn't it gross?" You asked, still unsure, to which he shook his head. "I like it."

You felt yourself blushing "But you stopped."

He smirked "Just because I don't want it to end so quickly. Sex shouldn't be a quick thing, at least not most of the time, we should make it last and that means lessening the stimulation before finishing." He moved so he could kiss you and you found the taste on his tongue strange, but at the same time you found it sexy knowing that it was your taste. "We're just getting started." He whispered against your lips as he brought your index finger back to his lips, he sucked on it and then brought it between your legs and teased your entrance lightly.

"Tell me, when you touch yourself, do you only play with your clit or..." He forced your entrance slightly and you felt your muscles contracting involuntarily.

"You never used your fingers here?" He asked and you shook your head.

"Okay, but I can try a little, can't I? Or do you want me to stop?"

You held his face in your hands.

"Will it hurt?"

He kissed your lips gently, "Not if I do it slowly. And I won't go deep. You just said you trust me, remember?"

You nodded. "I do."

He smiled and you felt a small pressure at your entrance and you immediately squeezed your eyes closed waiting for the pain, but it didn't come, on the contrary you were washed by a wave of pleasure when he started to use his thumb on your clit as he slowly penetrated the middle finger on you.

"Shit." You cursed through your teeth and he chuckled in satisfaction.

"Good girl."

He started to move his finger in and out and the feeling was strange but good at the same time and the next thing you knew you were moving your hips against his hand seeking more friction. He understood immediately and began to put more pressure on his thumb, circling your clit slowly while fingering you.

"I'm going to put another finger, okay? Tell me if it hurts and I'll stop immediately."

You nodded without doubting his word for a moment. You knew Stephen would never hurt you on purpose.

He used his index finger to stretch you a little more and you felt the pressure again and an uncomfortable tug that soon disappeared giving way to pleasure.

"God, you have magical fingers." You heard yourself confessing.

"That's one way of putting it." He teased "But you haven't seen anything yet, sweetheart."

You bit your bottom lip, holding back a moan when he circled his thumb around your clit just the right way and your legs shook with the wave of pleasure that enveloped you.

"Then show me. I want you to teach me everything."

He smiled brightly and pulled you to his lips and kissed you hard, his tongue chased yours in a battle for dominance that you had no intention of winning and he hummed in your lips adorably.

"You're every man's dream, you know that?" He said as he finally allowed himself to break the kiss. "Beautiful, inexperienced and so willing to please. Somehow you make my heart beat faster in my chest and my dick throb in my pants with the same intensity at the same time."

You smiled proudly "Then take me. I'm yours. I always wanted to be yours and no one else's."

You entwined your fingers in his hair and pulled him to your lips again, but his lips didn't just stop at your mouth, they went down your neck where he placed little kisses and bites and then went up to your ear, brushing his goatee there and making your skin prickle again and you swallow thickly. You loved when he did that and he sure as hell knew that.

"Stephen... make love to me. I want it... tonight."

His fingers didn't stop stimulating you for a second, but you wanted more, you wanted to know how it would feel to have him inside you thrusting into you with the same passion you saw the actors in the movies doing, but he shook his head.

"We can't, love."

You shook your head trying to reason with him "We can. We just need to use..."

He interrupted you by kissing you and then explained "I know, but I don't want our first time to be with a condom. It's not the same."

"Oh" That's all you said, and he smiled seeming a little embarrassed "It doesn't change much for you, but for me... shit, now I'm being selfish..."

"It's okay." You reassured him cupping his face gently "I didn’t know. We can wait."

He sighed smiling "But that doesn't mean I can't give you what you need." With that he dived between your legs again and used his tongue on your clit again, but now he wasn't content with just licking, he started sucking as if he was nursing on your sensitive bud and while he did this his fingers continued playing at your entrance, moving in and out at a lazy pace and the combination of stimulation was enough to push you to the edge.

"Oh shit... oh Stephen... gonna cum."

He hummed satisfied and this time he didn't stop, on the contrary, he increased the intensity of the suction on your clit which made you scream in the middle of the orgasm that washed over you.

Your legs shook around his head, your nails dug into his scalp and your fingers pulled his hair and the most beautiful little scream in the world escaped your lips when you came in his mouth. He lapped up all your fluids like a thirsty man and then emerged from the paradise between your legs to look at you and the way you glanced at him made his heart jump in his chest.

Stephen couldn't remember the last time he had given oral sex to a woman. A sexist part of him thought it was too intimate to be done with any of the women he had slept with in recent years, but with you it was natural. It wasn't like he planned it. Stephen was coming to the conclusion that nothing with you happened as planned, you were too spontaneous for that and he was weak in his convictions when it came to you, but it didn't matter, he had loved it, every second between your legs, listening to your little moans were like a trip to paradise and he felt ecstatic.

He moved on top of you, careful not to release the weight of his body on you and cupped your face, pulling it to his lips.

"God I love you, sweetheart."  He heard himself confessing. Stephen had never been so in love in his entire life and as such he never found himself confessing his feelings like that, but it was true. He loved you so much that somehow he knew he couldn't contain it inside him, he needed to pour that love into you again and again.

As if you could read his mind, you smiled the most beautiful smile in the world "I love you too." You whispered and your face turned red with the realization of what had just happened and he thought it was adorable. Yes, he had been surprised by the discovery of your virginity and yes, that had complicated things a little, but he would be a liar if he said he wasn't loving every minute of it. Your innocence and inexperience made everything more exciting.

"I love the way you blush."  He confessed, kissing your lips lightly and then rolled to the side, resting his head on his pillows.

"That's good because I can't control this. It's all so embarrassing, will this become normal for me one day?"

He couldn't help but laugh at your comment.

"Do not laugh at me." You protested, covering your face with your hands, but Stephen held them and replied, "I'm not laughing at you and the answer is yes. It'll become normal."

You turned to snuggle into him and he wrapped his arm around you, letting you lay your head on his shoulder as he intertwined your leg with his.

"Do you remember your first time?" You asked as your fingers traced his goatee absently minded.

Oh yes, he remembered it perfectly and never stopped feeling embarrassed by it.

"Tragically yes." He replied.

"That bad?" You asked curiously.

"I had no idea what I was doing, and it must have lasted three minutes."

Now it was your turn to laugh, but he didn't care, he had already overcome the trauma.

"I was always afraid of doing it with someone my age and ending up in an awkward situation where we both wouldn't know what to do." You confessed, still stroking his beard and Stephen noticed how much he liked feeling the touch of your hands on him.

"I think it's very difficult for a guy your age to still be a virgin, sweetheart. The risk was practically zero."

"But they wouldn't be like you." You insisted and your face flushed again "You're very experienced and although I don't like thinking about you with other women, I like the fact that you know what you're doing, it makes me feel safer."

He nodded. What impressed Stephen, besides the fact that you were a virgin at age 21, was that you had almost no sexual experience besides watching porn and touching yourself.

"You made me feel very safe while you were..."

"Going down on you" He finished for you and you nodded.

"I didn't imagine it would be so good. I mean, I've read about it, I've seen it in the movies, but nothing prepared me for reality."

Stephen smiled broadly. "I'm not going to be modest about it and say it's always like this. Most men have a hard time satisfying a woman this way."

"But not you." You said and pulled him to your lips and Stephen let himself be guided by the intensity of your kiss. So inexperienced, but kissed like a whore. He thought and quickly scolded himself.

You hummed adorably at his lips and then broke the kiss and said simply "I want to touch you now."

His cock pulsed in his pants at that, but he tried hard to reason with you.

"Are you sure? You know you don't have to do this just because I did it to you."

You nodded "I know. I want to. I want to see you the same way you saw me and pleasure you to hear you moaning too."

Stephen couldn't help but smile and comment, "You're going to have to be really good to make me moan, sweetheart. Do you think you can do that?"

You blushed heavily but were firm in your response "I learn fast, you just need to teach me how to do it."

Another twitch in his cock and this time it didn't go unnoticed by you. You lowered your hand that was resting on his chest and touched his dick through his pants.

"It's so... hard." You said

"Because of you. Your innocence leaves me like this." He confessed.

"I'm not innocent." You protested to which he chuckled.

"Maybe not in other things, but in this you are."

His cock started to throb again and you looked at him in surprise, but didn't say anything. It was as if you knew that asking anything would prove his point.

"Hard is good. It's exactly how you want me. And this..." His cock twitched again "It's also because of you, it shows how much I want you."

You were blushing, but a proud smile played on your lips.

He watched you move your hand lightly over his erection and then your fingers threatened to go inside his pants, but you stopped confirming "Can I?"

"Yes." He said and his voice sounded shaky with excitement. Stephen had fantasized about this so many times.

You put your hand inside his pants and seemed surprised to notice that he wasn't wearing any underwear. He never wore underwear when he got dressed to sleep, in fact when it was hot he even wore clothes to sleep.  To his surprise, the brief moment of hesitation was replaced by the impulse to touch him, and you grabbed him in your hand and started moving up and down, probably imitating what you had seen in the movies. The sudden stimulation made a small moan escape his lips and you smiled victoriously.

"Brat" He said biting his lower lip and surrendering to your touch. "Wait, let me take this off, you need to see what you're doing."

You moved your hand away enough for him to free himself from his pants and then your eyes feasted on his thighs and finally settled on his cock.

"You can touch me however you want now." He said

You held it firmly in your hand and moved it up and down slowly and he had the feeling that that was pretty much all you knew how to do. The stimulation was delicious. For someone who had had no sexual stimulation other than his own hand for six months, any foreign touch was enough, but he wanted just so much more.

He moved his fingers quickly conjuring up a bottle of lube and explained "Here, sweetheart. You lube naturally, but I need this. Give me your hand."

You turned your palm upwards and waited for him to pour some of the clear gel. He was not modest in quantity. Stephen liked a lot of lubrication.

"Now you can do what you were doing, but it will feel much better."

You nodded, grabbing his cock again and slowly moving it up and down, letting the lube spread over his entire length making a delicious squelching sound.

"Make sure to touch the head when your hand goes up. Here..." He showed his frenulum to you "It's very sensitive, I like it when I'm touched here."

You nodded, completely concentrated on his explanation and started to raise your hand further to touch where he had shown you, a wrinkle of concentration formed between your eyebrows and Stephen found it adorable. His cock throbbed in your hand again and a loud moan escaped through his teeth.

"Shit, love. You’re a fast learner."

You smiled happily at the compliment "Can I use both hands? I saw it in a movie and the guy seemed to like it."

Stephen nodded. "Give me the other hand, let's get some more of this."

You did as he asked and then grabbed him with both hands stroking him nice but very lightly.

"You can use a little more force, sweetheart." He instructed and his voice sounded shaky.

"I don't want to hurt you. I know it’s very sensitive."

He smiled widely. You were so sweet, he was basking in your inexperience and there was no reason for him to hide how much he was enjoying the whole thing.

"Not that sensitive. You can squeeze a little more. I'll like it. Isn't that what you want? To make me feel good?"

"Yes." You said biting your bottom lip while tightening the grip of your hand around him and for a minute the only sound that could be heard was the wet squelching of your hands on his dick and the heavy breathing followed by moans that he couldn't control. .

"So fucking good... these little hands feel amazing, sweetheart."

You smile "Really?"

"So, so good. I've fantasized about this moment so many times..."

You bit your lip, looking undecided whether to say something or not.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Is it okay if I put it in my mouth? I've never done this, but I'd like to try."

Stephen moaned loudly "Wanna give me a blow job?"

You nodded. "But I do not know how..."

He moaned loudly and his hips jumped against your hand. At that point, Stephen didn't know if he would last long.

He cupped your cheek gently and ran his thumb across your lips, forcing you to separate them. "Open it for me." He asked, placing his thumb inside your mouth when you obeyed. He left his finger on your tongue collecting saliva and forcing you to swallow around it and when you did he closed his eyes and imagined the feeling of it around his dick.

"Suck it." He ordered and you obeyed, sucking his finger slowly.  You were so good at following orders, so sweet and so obedient. Something about it all was revealing a side of Stephen that even he didn't know and he was enjoying it.

"See how easy it is? Now let's try to do the same thing but on my cock." He took his finger out of your mouth and grabbed his dick and directed it to your mouth.

"Open it big for me." He asked and you did exactly as he said.

Stephen smiled, placing just the head in your mouth. "You're going to suck it like it's a lollipop. Don't use your teeth, just your lips and tongue."

You seemed lost at first, the sweet taste of the lube wasn't exactly ideal, but it was better than saliva, at least at first. Deep down he was dreaming of seeing you going dirty, spitting on his cock without fear of making a mess.

A wrinkle of confusion appeared between your eyebrows, but you continued sucking his head slowly.

"Now use your tongue, you can flick it around my cock, it feels really nice."

You did exactly as he asked, eliciting a surprised groan from his throat when the tip of your tongue flicked onto his frenulum. "Shit, you learn so fast, sweetheart."

You took it out of your mouth to breathe and smiled proudly at him as he couldn't help but tease you. "You like being praised, don't you? Does it make you feel good?"

To his delight you blushed heavily making his cock pulse in your hand.

"See? That's how much I want you. Because you are so fucking special to me..."

He was interrupted when you leaned in to give him a hard kiss that took his breath away and then you put his cock in your mouth again and without him needing to teach you, you started using your hand around what you couldn't take and Stephen grabbed the sheets with one hand while he brought the other to your head, threading his fingers through your hair. You let out a sweet moan of approval around his cock and he had to control himself not to push your head or thrust against your mouth. Stephen liked to be rough when given oral, most of the time he forced deep throat because he loved cumming deep in their throats, but he could never do that to you. At least not yet and definitely not without your consent.

"Fuck... twist your hand while you move it up and down, sweetheart and keep using your tongue, give me a hard suck on the head... just like that... yeah, use your tongue just like that."

You followed each of his instructions masterfully which was quickly taking him to his limit and when he noticed how you started to moan while sucking him, how your legs started to rub against each other, clearly feeling pleasure while giving him pleasure, he knew he couldn't hold on much longer.

"Wait, sweetheart... stop, please." He moved his hand down to your chin and gently pulled your mouth away from his dick.

You seemed a little confused "Why? I thought I was enjoying it. Did I do something wrong?"

He chuckled nervously "I was, I am...very much." He ran say a little embarrassed. "I don't want to finish in your mouth. It's your first time and it might be a little gross." 

He saw the realization on your face immediately and then you stared at his cock with a newfound curiosity.

"What does it taste like?"

Stephen smiled "To be honest, I don't know. It's salty. Most women don't like it."

You frowned, "I'm not most women."

"Of course not. You're my sweetheart." He said and watched you blush again. He would never get tired of it.

You went back to holding his cock, stroking it lightly up and down, being careful to touch the head as he explained and watched him twitching.

"I want to see you finish." You confessed.

He nodded "Just use your hands then."

"But will they be enough?" You asked increasing your grip again while stroking his cock.

Stephen groaned through his teeth.

"Of course. These sweet tiny hands are more than enough."

You smiled watching Stephen surrender completely to your touch. You were learning a lot that night and one of the things you enjoyed most was the sweet noises he made when he felt pleasure. It was hard to imagine such a stoic man making those sounds and your chest filled with pride knowing that you were responsible for leaving him like that.

He kept one hand firmly on the sheets and the other found a home on the back of your neck. His eyes were glued to yours, his cock was so hard and red and wet pulsing in your hand. You didn't stop or reduce the stimulation, remembering perfectly what he had explained to you. You wanted to see him finish.

"Oh, fuck sweetheart... I'm so close... just do it faster and don't stop." His baritone voice was even sexier when covered in lust like that.

"I won't stop" You promised moving your hands faster and harder and finally getting what you wanted. Seeing the magic happening before your eyes.

He moaned loudly, his jaw became rigid, his legs shook and cum began to squirt from the tip of his dick, spilling over your hand, entering between your fingers and making a mess in his stomach.

"Oh shit... oh fuck sweetheart." He muttered through clenched teeth and then pulled you to his lips and kissed you hard.

You kissed until you couldn't breathe and when he broke the kiss he smiled almost shyly.

"Shit, look at this. I made a fucking mess, sweetie."

"You get a dirty mouth when you're horny." You teased and he let out a small laugh.

"Good point. Does it bother you?"

You shook your head "No. Actually, I liked it." You said, observing the puddle of cum on his stomach and then looked at your hand, seeing the sticky, whitish liquid running through your fingers. You could smell it, it wasn't bad, it was just different and suddenly you were struck by a burning curiosity and the next thing you knew you were bringing your hand to your mouth and running your tongue between your fingers. You didn't know the look on your face when you tasted it, but Stephen smiled in disbelief, and you knew he was loving it just like he had loved everything else.

"It's salty and something else. It's not good, but it's not bad either. It's... strange."

"I don't think there's a better word to describe it." He teased moving his fingers and conjuring a damp towel with which he began to gently wipe your hands.

"It's the first time I've seen a woman taste my cum like it was a foreign dessert and I admit it was sexy as hell."

You felt your face getting hot which made his smile widen even more. He used the towel to clean himself and then got rid of it in the same way he conjured it and touched your cheek affectionately. "You're giving me so many firsts." He said contemplatively and then kissed you again. He pulled you on top of him and made you snuggle into his chest. With a flick of his fingers he dressed you and he and you laugh softly.

"I'll never get used to this."

He hummed "Yes you will because I will do this all the time and I will be by your side all the time.”

"Promise?"

He kissed the top of your head and held you in his arms.

"Promise."

You were silent for a minute listening to nothing but each other's breathing. It was you who broke the silence.

"Don't you think this is all very silly for you? I mean, we're together and we haven't even had sex yet and you're an experienced man..."

"There's only so many times you can say that to me without making me feel old." He warned making you laugh softly.

"I like my men older." You teased.

"Man. Your man you mean."

You smirked "Yes, sir."

Stephen sighed and you closed your eyes, reveling in the feeling of his hand rubbing your arm.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm loving every minute we spend together, sweetheart. You're making me live so many new experiences and I love you for that. There's nothing silly about this."

You smiled "Okay."

"There's just one problem, young lady."

You turned to look at him and there was a cute smile on his lips.

“Which is?”

"I want to come here every night from now on."

"I won't object to that."

He smirked and you rolled to the side on the bed and he was quick to pull you close so you were cuddled into his chest.

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing!

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[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 48 (He Had Him At Hello, Bromance Edition)

Leaving her friends in Old New Henford after dark, Heather, Ash, and Conrad returned to her childhood home with her parents.

They found River and Cassandra still in their work clothes, the two having spent most of the evening trying to get their infant son to sleep. "Doctor Scott says its a phase, it'll pass, but when he doesn't sleep well, we don't sleep well," lamented River. "These days we're thrilled if he sleeps for more than two hours at a time."

Conrad already felt at ease around her siblings, and Heather left them chatting upstairs while her parents showed her the new plants in their always impressive garden. When Michael woke up fussy, she soothed him back to sleep to give his tired parents a break.

Upstairs, River studied Conrad with keen interest. His sister's taste in men had always been a little...off, and he wanted to be sure this one deserved her. "Driving between San Myshuno and Brindleton Bay must not be easy."

"We make it work," said Conrad. "We're waiting for me to get a transfer, but all that driving can be pretty tiring."

"Sometimes I dance just to keep myself awake," said Cass, grooving a little to the music. "Since I left the art studio to help my mother-in-law with her floral business, it's been a bit easier working from home. I never realized the artistry involved in floral arranging, but I can be just as creative with a bouquet of flowers as I can with a palette of acrylics!"

Conrad couldn't relate, but he empathized with their lack of sleep. "I don't know much about raising kids, but Ash likes a story I tell him that my mom used to read to me when I was a kid. The Giving Tree."

"I love that story," Cassandra mused. "I think I saw a copy at the bookstore in the square."

River nodded. "I'll try anything. I'll pick up a copy tomorrow." Despite his fatigue, River's wall crumbled as he got to know Conrad. "What made you think our sister was worth risking your career?"

The question was sincere. Conrad had asked himself the same thing a thousand times. "At first I thought it was because her son needed her more than the Landgraabs needed a win, but then they dropped the charges and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I booked a vet appointment four hours out of the way just to run into her again."

"Why didn't you ask her out, then?"

"River, stop interrogating him," Hazel pushed, but Conrad smiled.

"I wanted to, but I knew she'd been through a lot and I wanted her to be sure she was ready. I sort of knew it would be it for me if I knew she was interested."

"It's a good thing Holly intervened," said Hazel, smiling. "You might still be waiting for her, otherwise."

River grinned. "He definitely would be."

Hazel left to meet Nicola and some friends at the Gnome's Arms, and River and Cassandra finally changed and sat down to dinner. Because they could know no peace, Ash talked their ear off about dinosaurs. "Conerd say t-rex no swim, we safe," he babbled. "T-rex roar!"

"You know there were less scary dinosaurs," River said. "Smaller ones who ate plants. Also big ones. Like brontosaurus."

Ash listened with intense curiosity. "Bront-so-us?"

"Yeah, they were even bigger than your dad's apartment."

Cassandra stifled a laugh. "River, hush."

They were interrupted when Michael woke again from his nap, wailing from the bedroom. With her plate still full of food, Cass left to tend to her son as Heather walked into the kitchen. "We should probably head out. It'll still be an hour on the Simmerloop at this time of night, and we should get Ash to bed before midnight."

Cassandra brought Michael outside for their goodbyes, but the fussy infant didn't last long in the cool autumn air.

River, meanwhile, had found a new best friend in Conrad. "When I found out my sister was dating a cop I wasn't sure what to think, but now I'm pretty confident you've never played bad cop in your life."

Conrad shrugged. "I mean, I don't see the point. It doesn't get me to the truth any faster. But I admire what you and your father do. Building green infrastructure for your community is just as important as what I do."

River laughed. "Please, don't flatter me. You deal with hardened criminals like my sister."

Daisy turned to Heather as they watched River bond with Conrad. "Riv grew up with a house full of sisters, but I think he always secretly wanted a brother."

When Conrad left to get the car, River turned to Heather. "I recognize the way he looks at you, and he's not going anywhere unless you tell him to. I know you like to think you're better off single, protecting your independence, but he's the guy who's perfect for you. You and Conrad finding each other is one in a million, like the day I met Cassandra. He's your Cassandra."

(Can confirm, Jane Simsten's Soulmates mod kicked in for these two way back on the night they ran into each other with Holly and Kris in San Myshuno, but Heather's unflirty and she's been burned in the past, so it's had to be this way. I'm sorry!)

River's beautiful wife gazed at him with love while he spoke. They were so sweet together, and their love used to make Heather feel like she was missing out. Now she had Conrad, who was as close to perfect as anyone she'd ever met, and she couldn't shake her insecurities.

"I know raising Ash with his father isn't easy and you're afraid to get hurt again," River said. "But that is a guy who's waiting for you to say 'I love you' so he can say it, too."

Neal frowned. "Huck, you don't know that. Don't test your sister's emotions-"

"I do know that, and I'd die on Old Mill Hill defending that take!"

"He makes me so happy," Heather admitted. "But what if he moves in and I find out he's a criminal mastermind masquerading as a detective?"

"Then you're even more perfect for each other than I thought."

Heather couldn’t deny her feelings for Conrad, as afraid as she was to put them into words and make them real.

Despite her fears, she was grateful for her family's approval, and she embraced her brother warmly when Conrad brought his car around. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

NOTE: This got it's own post because Conrad and River literally said hello to each other and were basically best friends (they became official best friends later, when it mattered for Conrad's Friend of the World aspiration. tbh by then I thought they already were but either something glitched or broke with the Lovestruck patches or I never bothered and forgot). Their instant bromance felt so right - River looks up to his older sister and wants the best for her even though he can't help but tease her, and he and Conrad are both responsible guys focused on bettering their communities. It's a perfect match and I loved this development.

[bolontiku]

Life Update - if it seems I'm not all together it's cause I'm not hah

Being diabetic sucks. But - I've been taking care of myself. My sister pulled the cancer card, so i have no choice. I am massively upset about this.

But after a horrible night at urgent care (about a month ago) where the doctor lectured me to stop eating all day (ie stuffing my face with junk food like a fat) I thanked him for being one of many that tells me about how a keto diet will reverse the effects, how fasting is best. So let me not eat my one meal a day, yes I love bread but I did't eat it in mass quantities. How if he really wanted to help instead of telling me to stop stuffing my face he could recommend a fucking doctor that ACTUALLY CARED cause stupid egotistic perfect gene metabolized male doctors with bimbo boobied girlfriends don't get it.

He actually did refer me a good doctor. My doctor listened when I told him the metformin made me violently ill to the point of making me wish for LITERAL DEATH. I am now on a second form of medication, I prick my finger twice a day and have regulated my sugar.

The brother was surprised at the fact that I actually stopped drinking my greatest addiction - Pepsi. He's surprised at the color in my food, excited about the veggies I've introduced and has actually eaten fish with me. I've switched to ezekiel bread cause there is no way I am NOT not having it in my life. I do miss pasta and rice. I get the brother and my coworkers to eat delicious sweets for me and ask if bread is still the heaven sent treat? I get my sammies without bread at work, drink coffee, water and unsweetened tea only.

My sister was a little shocked at the hour wait and was grumbling when she tagged along for my last appointment. But honestly? I'll wait three hours for a doctor who listens to me. And he's so sweet! Little old man 🥰🥰

I've gained 10lbs for the first time in 8yrs. The brother says I am taking in more calories and this is the most he has ever seen me eat but not eat at the same time.

I hate life. I want my beautiful sister to not have cancer. It overwhelms me at times cause her hair is falling out again and she just started growing it back. The cancer is ping ponging around inside her now. Hip, shoulder, a bit in her spine. She has to get MRI every three months to make sure it doesn't grow again in her brain.

She's so tired. She wants to get her papers in order. It's hard to hear her say that she doesn't want to die. She keeps telling her bf if he left she would understand, and he's planning their wedding 🤣 I love the dude. Such an idiot. She wants me to shave her head cause 'I would hype her up', of course I will. She has the most beautiful shaped head and elephant ears! God my sister is so beautiful and fucking stubborn like a god damn mule. She might be little but fuck, she will chuck a history book at your head (and has).

I miss bread. Warm bread with a thick chunk of butter...

Life is so hard. I don't want to wake up most days. But she said, "If I have to deal with this cancer, you can take care of your sugar!" (Don't ask what she said about my depression) And fiiiiineeee! How do you argue with that? I'm so sad all the time now.

I'm sorry for rambling on here. I just don't have anyone to talk to. Ignore this is fine, but I needed to get the thoughts out of my head. And this partially explains why I haven't written either.

Anyways, tell your family you love them so much you'll gobble them up. Hug them. Make good memories so you can laugh till you cry.

It's gonna be okay.

Bread makes me feel safe and loved *sad sigh*

[vintageandroid]

Gothamite Problems

I think this is technically fanfic? I'm tagging it as such, anyway. I never post fanfic but here we are. EDIT: I also decided to put it on AO3.

I've been obsessively watching BTAS for the past month, which probably flavored my particular approach to Gotham.

Gotham City Resident Problems

You finally get an appointment with a therapist and literally the night before you’re scheduled to go in, he gets arrested for filling a dirigible full of fear gas and trying to dose the whole city so like...back on the wait list you go.

There’s honestly a 50/50 chance of any concert or sporting event becoming the site of yet another supervillain situation. Some folks consider this an extra bonus feature. You are almost disappointed to go to a concert with no incident.

You need to show your ID to buy books of riddles at the bookstore.

You’re absolutely convinced you saw Batman and Nightwing having a heated argument in an alley one time, but no one believes you.

The constant stormy, foggy weather is difficult. The things the humidity does to your hair are unspeakable.

There’s local discourse about whether or not it’s appropriate to read Stephen King’s It and risk normalizing Homicidal Clown Behavior, and you avoid all of it because you’re pretty sure Misery is more likely to happen in this town and you don’t want to let that slip and start some new discourse.

Your teenaged niece is doing a project on child labor and wound up using Robin as an example and you appreciate her making connections between schoolwork and real world issues but you feel Really Weird about the whole thing. She got a B+.

Your favorite local noodle shop closed and was replaced by a fuckin’ Arby’s. Where was Batman for this injustice?

Do you have any idea how costly car insurance is in a town like this when there ends up being so much collateral damage? It’s not as bad as Metropolis, at least. You’d take public transit but that ends up getting blown up a lot, too. Plus the train is always like five minutes slow.

You actually noticed that the butts do match a little bit but you are never, ever going to mention this to anyone.

Your primary care doctor also got arrested recently for some reason or another and you’re getting really tired of this. Could one medical professional in this town please avoid turning to a life of crime? For your sake?

It’s standard to add an extra hour to your morning commute just in case of some kind of Villain Shenanigans. Every now and again you give into the temptation to just sleep in for that hour. Inevitably, there are in fact Villain Shenanigans and you end up late. You never seem to learn from this.

You really liked that new flower shop on 73rd Street until it turned out it was yet another Poison Ivy plot. On the other hand, the potted plant you bought from them has outlived all the ones you got from Home Depot so maybe that’s okay?

Sometimes you’re suffering at work for not enough money and you begin to understand why people keep turning to villainy around here. That, and masks always seem to be available for sale in regular stores. Apparently that’s not a thing in other towns.

Your preferred branch of your bank is closed because the Joker blew it up. Again.

You once had to spend half an hour explaining to your out-of-town friend the difference between Batman and Man-Bat and you’re pretty sure she still doesn’t get it and honestly you’re not quite sure you do, either.

Someone in your neighborhood has pet hyenas and you’re pretty sure they shouldn’t but what are you gonna do about it at this point?

Anytime you go to another city for a vacation or a family wedding or something, you think to yourself, Finally, a break from all the mayhem, but when you get there, you’re surprised by how dull it is, actually. Gotham may have its problems, but you’re a Gothamite through and through.

[casketscratch]

The push-and-pull of knowing I have heard myself tell our therapist something and not believing the words out of my own mouth even years later, hahaha.

I had a psychiatrist in like, junior high. The Peak of a lot of the abuse from, I guess, every source we had. I was volunteering where my grandpa worked for a few months; my dad would visit for holidays; we'd moved in with the stepdad and he was abusing us; my older sister would kick the shit out of me every day.

So there was a psychiatrist and doctors because I was had "anxiety" and I remember telling this guy I heard voices. I didn't really know how else to describe it. I just became different people sometimes. I just heard arguing in my head all day long. I don't know. I didn't have the vocabulary to describe how I felt (and it would be another 20 years before I realized what I felt was toxic shame, constantly) other than "bad" and "weird" and "sometimes I think I hear things" and "I'm scared all the time but don't know why."

And the meds he put me on did so much damage. I don't remember very much of anything coherently from that period but I know that psychiatrist was friends with my stepdad; I know the antipsychotics made me sleep like the dead at night; I know they made me start hearing and seeing shit for real and I started having genuine hallucinations and thought ghosts were attacking me a lot.

But at the time I didn't have a choice about whether or not I took them either, or I'd be "sabotaging everything" and my mom would have meltdowns about how bad having a kid in therapy made her look and why would I do that to her, etc. I know this same period is when I started self-harming. Like there's a lot of little overlaps I can piece together now.

So now I have a psychiatrist appointment booked and I cannot sleep and all I have is The Fear. I absolutely refuse to go on antipsychotics again but I think what's not entirely registered is that I do, actually, have that choice this time. Odds are this doctor will just listen and try to help, not, you know... medicate me into oblivion because my stepdad wants him to and then take advantage of that. I can just not take stuff or ask for alternatives. This is hitting as Extremely Unlikely to 13 year old me and I'm realizing just how long she's been stuck there.

I can remember telling my (good) therapist about all of this before in bits and pieces. I can mostly remember him explaining that, yeah, unfortunately doctors like the one I had in jr. high exist and predators are attracted to the profession, too. Unfortunately all of that (the trafficking, the drugs, the working with my stepdad) probably happened.

I am just trying to remind myself that this time I will have a choice and there are probably options to help reduce symptoms to the point I can be a bit more stable again. I'm so tired of clawing my way to a few weeks of stability and then just getting fucking shipwrecked by flashbacks and nightmares and The Fear. The major reason I haven't met anyone in this city (or even been able to reliably reply to a DM for, like, years now) is just The Fear of The Worst Thing Happening Again. Every potential social interaction spirals into obsessing over the worst possible outcome and it's exhausting. I'm fried.

If it's two months of this level of red alert anxiety between now and the psych appointment I am going to lose it all over again. But also: trying to be understanding of where that fear originated from and validate it. But also, also: god just let me relax and stop thinking about this.

[katzirra]

Been struggling with energy again lately... feeling worn down and tired I think it's the mental strain of everything at this point. I'm booking appointments with my doctor two or three times a month and being confused about the conflict of things looking good on paper but not in my body actions.

My diet needs to improve but my guts are angry at volume of foods, types of foods, TIMES of foods... the acid reflux and heart burn for most things despite how early in the day I eat them is disheartening to me...

My MRI came back concerning to my doctor so they sent them to a specialist at KU Med and they're gonna call me to schedule stuff for a tissue thing sample and probably surgery. I'm just feeling tired.

Like this all started because I wanted to get back on a medication I was on for weight loss and figured my weight was the issue with my periods being absent. And it's just been this cascading shit around my uterus and sticking a pin in my weight and stuff so to speak...

I'm ao tired. I just want to stop being TIRED. I like go to do art lately and I'm so overwhelmed with the background noise I can't do anything. I'm THRUMMING with anxiety about my life. I hate it.

[squarejaww]

Chronic Pain Is Such A Trip

A little background - I was diagnosed with scoliosis in the 5th grade, but was not treated for it until I was a sophomore in high school. This saw me going to the nearest Shriner's hospital, where I was fitted for a wretched plaster-cast back brace that was fitted from under the armpits to over my hips at sweet 16. It was horrible. And, from pressing insistently on my right hip, so fully killed the nerves there that I can't feel it to this day.

I moved through my teen years and into my adult life trying to manage this condition as best as I could on my own. According to the Shriner's doctor when I was a teen, any attempt at corrective surgery would be considered not medically necessary and purely cosmetic. So I should be able to live a fully happy life, yeah? No issues.

Except that the curvature progressed into the severe category, until I eventually got updated xrays in my late 20s that revealed the full extent of my situation, which was an S curve with a twist, a result of degenerative disc disease, spina bifida, and scoliosis. As someone who had been managing on my own with a strict pain medication management plan with my doctor, it was recommended that I pursue surgery. It took years, but eventually, I was able to have the surgery and Harrington Rods were installed in my back.

The surgery was traumatic. The healing process was traumatic. But, eventually, I recovered. That was four years ago.

The pain has returned in a whole new way. I've been going to the gym, eating better, managing with ibuprofen, and trying to do everything that my physical therapist has instructed me to do over the years. But some days, it's so bad that I physically cannot get myself out of bed. I tried urgent care and went to see a doctor, who referred me to a pain clinic. Guess what they did?

They photocopied some book covers, told me I was basically imagining the pain, and said I should get on antidepressants before shoving me, sobbing hysterically, out of the door. It was traumatizing and I refused to go to another doctor again.

That was two years ago. When it was bad enough again that I had to go home from work a coupla weeks ago, I finally scheduled an appointment with a new doctor. With updated xrays. Guess what they informed me?

There's degenerative tearing in my neck.

Holy shit, I'm not crazy. I was over the moon. Even if there was nothing to be done about the pain, at least it was good to know that I wasn't imagining the whole ordeal. I had them forward the report to my physical therapist, so that he could go over the documents with me.

He reported to me that nothing was wrong. According to the report, I was perfectly fine. In fact, his degenerative tearing was probably worse than mine, according to him.

To say that hearing this was devastating is... an understatement. He looked at me like I was imagining the whole thing. And so now I'm more confused and angry than ever. I don't know what to do with this information, especially considering I'm in between doctor's appointments while we try and figure out what is wrong with me, which I hurt constantly, and how we can fix it. (Cherry on top was phys therapist pointing out all my shitty posture and the like as I walked away. It was really hard not to cry)

I'm so tired of being in pain all the time.

[fictionplumis]

Some progress has been made!

I saw a Cardiologist yesterday and almost broke my "did not cry during a doctor's appointment" streak. (We are up to 3 now, woot!)

So basically, my heart is doing one of two things. Either it's going, "I need to emulate my hero and savior Sonic the Hedgehog," and is always beating so fast for no legitimate reason. Like with POTS. Or it's going, "Oh shit, this place is fucked, I gotta beat faster to make sure all the blood goes to the right places." This would be my heart reacting to another factor in the body and feeling like it's necessary to speed up, like if I had some underlying rheumatalogical condition.

I already knew things like POTS could really fuck up your system, and I've never been officially diagnosed but I've been pretty sure I've had it since high school, when I mentioned to my mom that I get tunnel vision everytime I stand up and she immediately took me to get an MRI. I didn't think it would make just existing doing the bare minimum to live such a hell.

Anyway, he's putting me on meds to slow my heart down. Either these meds will work and I'll feel weird for a bit and then start feeling better as my body adjusts, meaning it IS my heart deciding to go 130 BMP for funsies while I'm doing literally nothing, or the meds will work but I'll feel much, much worse because my heart does, in fact, need to go that fast because this place is fucked.

And by this place, I mean my body.

Now, he did mention working out! He explained that he would usually start treatments for something like this without medication first, but unlike the rheumatologist, he took my struggles seriously and said that since simple, daily tasks are such a struggle, and my heart rate is so high at rest, the medication needs to come first so I can get to the point that I CAN start low effort physical therapy.

He also asked if I had researched my symptoms online and if there was anything I've found or heard of that I felt matched my symptoms best, which god fucking bless dude, that's one hell of a green flag for a doctor.

The hardest part about dealing with doctors for me is that I have this defense mechanism where I am "an open book" and speak honestly and openly about my struggles, but in a very friendly and humorous tone. Like, "I'm so emotionally exhausted that I can't concentrate on much anymore. I've beaten Baldur's Gate like twelve times because I know everything that happens and it's low effort now. I'm so tired of playing Baldur's Gate, man." It's true! My tone usually implies humor and a joke, and I guess that makes people go, "Oh, things are difficult for her but she's okay enough to make light of them."

And I don't know how to not do that?

Even the nice doctors that took me "seriously" still didn't seem to quite understand the full scope of me saying, "I haven't left the house for eight months for anything but doctor's appointments. I haven't seen my friends in eight months. My family goes to eat dinner without me and brings me home lukewarm, soggy food in a takeout container. I've had to stop my sewing projects because my arm gets tired so quick holding down a sewing pattern that I can't trace around it without taking a break, and then the pattern gets misaligned and I get frustrated and start crying. I'm on antidepressants because I can't do any of my hobbies, I have nothing to distract me from this hell where simply reaching up for a cup in the cabinet feels like a herculean task, my room is a mess because I can't clean it up, and I was crying three to four times a day. Now I only cry once or twice a week. I am scared, and lonely, and everyone in my house works full time so it's hard for them to help, and I try not to ask them for much. When I do need to ask for help, I often spend a few hours having an anxiety attack before working up the nerve, and if they say no, I feel guilty for immediately bursting into tears over it and making them feel bad about it. My hair looks awful because I usually keep it short but I can't go through the effort of getting dressed and leaving the house for a haircut, so I took a pair of scissors to it in a Britney Spears style meltdown and you know what? She had the right idea!"

I guess something in my tone just implies hyperbole? Or maybe I don't come across as distressed enough while saying it, so they think it can't be possibly be this awful, life-ruining thing? Unfortunately, breaking down crying doesn't convince them either, I've tried that already. So IDK how to get doctors to understand what I'm feeling.

This guy, though?

I front of his two student shadows, this motherfucker, who is the softest spoken person I've ever met, by the way, leans over his knees and looks me dead in the eye to say, "I want you to know that you're an amazing person. I can't imagine the kind of strength it takes to deal with this for as long as you have with no answers, and still be pushing yourself to come to appointments like this when everything is so difficult for you. If this is cardiac related, I want you to know that we're going to figure this out and get you back out there in the world. At your age, you should be out with your friends, having fun and living your life, not isolated and struggling like this. Do you have a support group? Who all is in it?"

Man. There is something about sincere compassion and genuine concern that hits right to the core, and I could barely keep myself from bursting into tears.

For all my jaded bullshit with the doctors and the American medical system, sometimes you end up finding a gem.

So either these new pills will work and in the next couple of months I can start a long path to recovery, or they won't but I'll be able to tell every other specialist I see that we 100% know my fast heart rate is a symptom of something else, not everything else being a symptom of a cardiac issue.

[spinnenpfote6]

Had some rlly bad 2 days.

I botched some medical appointments to get my iron bc there was so much going on during the last 3 months and then my doctor and my clinical nutritionist concluded that my iron was so low it was apparantly life threatening and they wanted me to stay overnight and get 2 blood transfusions. (For the record, I wasn't exactly feeling bad, just EXTREMELY exhausted but not in pain or anything). The new iron I got would take too long to turn into new blood and I apparantly only wasn't near comatose because my chronically ill body has adjusted to the constantly low iron over the years enough that I feel relatively ok.

My parents were against it at first bc my mom thought an unnecessary hospital visit might be dangerous because of all the viruses and bacteria and whatever floating around and my dad thought they might just wana make money off of me but when I decided on my own I should get the blood they both changed their minds and admitted it was the right thing.

However, getting that plastic vein access thingy (Idk what it's called in English) into my hand was a NIGHTMARE. It hurt like fucking HELL and I had a massive panic attack during it. Thankfully my doctor and my nutritionist were SO nice and not judgmental at all.

Using that stupid plastic thing hurt every time it was used and it took them HOURS to test the stupid blood and when it came it was COLD AS ICE. Then some weird doctor or nurse or whatever he was told me the next morning that something was wrong with the stuff in my blood and if the tests fail again they'd literally have to ram a needle so far into my arm until they catch one of the big veins and draw blood from there WHILE ALREADY PUTTING THE DAMN FAT NEEDLE ONTO MY BED IN FRONT OF MY EYES.

And that's when I SCREAMED at him "NO! NO! NO! NEVER!!!! GET OUT!!!" and my parents were already angry at me but I didn't care. I would've checked myself out against the doctor's advice - I would've rather DIED than letting them ram a needle into my arm. When he left my dad got angry at saying I'd have to live with the consequences of my decisions or whatever and I SCREAMED at him, face full of tears, that I don't have to do anything and he should try to have himself stabbed and cut open and whatever for his entire life and I stormed out without my face mask for the first time and just ended up sitting in the common room reading a book. I honestly would've rather thrown myself out of a window and ended everything at this point or punched everyone or Idk. I was disappointed that my parents didn't freak out honestly but the clothes I had on were too thin for me to actually leave the hospital.

Then the previous doctor came with a bunch of sheets and told me I could go home because he spoke to personal doctor who concluded that the thing that was weird with my blood was probably from my illness and we immediately went home. I was kinda disappointed too that in my anger I couldn't just give the doctors the finger and return home against their advice just to establish my rights as an adult patient.

Staying at that hospital for the blood transfusion was the worst decision of my entire life - it triggered so much of my medical trauma and I'm NEVER going to do it again, I don't care if I'm going to faint or fall or fall into a coma or die - NEVER.

I'm so fucking tired of my body being hurt and mutilated and tampered with for my entire life because I allegedly have something "life threatening" and then feeling worse than before. Any other normal person has severe pain because they are ill and go to the hospital and get treatment and feel better afterwards.

I hate my fucking body and I hate my fucking life and that I can't be brave and have stupid medical pain trauma and stupid motherfucking OCD.

But now I have the desire to turn the tables - I'm just going to make use of my rights as an adult and harm my body in a way that's fun and feels good: I'm going to drink as much energy drink and alcohol as I want, I'm going to refuse my nutrional IV (again Idk what it's called exactly in English) for at least 2 weeks because I hate the stupid headaches I get from it and being underweight makes my annoying period vanish and I'm going to refuse taking my gross vitamins and stop my stupid archery training because the joy I got from it vanished long ago and I'm going to buy as much stuff as I want and maybe cut or bite myself or slam my head against a wall again as a coping mechanism as much as I want and I'm going to finally stop wearing the stupid fucking covid mask after 5 years bc my parents wanted me to and no one can stop me.

I am an adult and if I want to harm myself I have the right to do it if others have had the right to harm my body in the name of "health" for all my goddamn fucking life.

(Sorry for the vent, I'm angry af and had to get it all out)

[vinnamah]

Been thinking a lot about the whole "these kids can't get off they goddamn phones. No attention span, thry're addicted to the things. Can't even go [arbitrary amount of time] without their devices. Frickin' iPad babies and their instant gratification" that I hear from time to time. I'd like to raise a few points:

For everyone pulling the "back in my day, we didn't need no stinkin' CELL PHONES to get by on a bus/train/car/plane ride" I always think to myself "before cell phones, it was gameboys and portable music players. Before that, books and newspapers."

If you love someone, genuinely love them (whether family or friend or romantic partner), wouldn't YOU want to chat with them whenever you could? I basically never stop talking to my fiancée. We may go hours between replies, but we just have a neverending conversation going on. And as long as I have the time and the opportunity to, I can just pull out my phone and talk to her! Just like that! Never before has hunanity been able to so easily talk to people so far away! But to anyone else, it may just look like I'm always on my phone because my brain has been fried.

Nobody ever stops to consider that this whole phenomenon may be (at least partly) caused by the whole societal shift towards "be productive with every single second of your time!!!!" Nobody sits around doing NOTHING anymore, because they are "WASTING THEIR PRECIOUS VALUABLE TIME! TIME IS MONEY! AAAAAA" and I hate this mindset that is hammered into us from a very young age. Waiting for a doctor's appointment? Instead of staring at the wall, why not listen to that audiobook? Why not catch up on the news? Why not check in on your mobile game, see if any of your cooldown timers are over? Why not do SOMETHING that at least FEELS productive in some way. And where can you do all of these activities? The handy dandy little electronic box in your hand!

The whole culture of spending every single second being productive, plus the current economy forcing many people and families to work multiple jobs... that doesn't leave a lot of time or energy to raise kids. So these kids get dumped off in daycare, or left with a nanny, or spend all day every day at Grandma's house. And when their parents are home with them, they're usually working or too tired from work. So the kids get handed an iPad. They get started on it so young. It is not their fault that they get addicted so early.

And lastly. If all else fails, you can always just ask "Why do you hate it so much? What solution are you proposing? What do you want to do, what do you want to be done? Why do you care so much, what other people are doing, when it has nothing to do with you?"

[jerzwriter]

If PB did make Tobias an LI how do you think they would have done it? And how would you have wanted them to do it? Do you think they would’ve done that route justice or would they have done it more as a thrown together last minute thing with not much thought or development?

-

Personally I kinda liked the tension at the doctors softball game and then he helped save her and that made her see him in a different way and (then I head cannoned) she sometimes visited Aurora while she worked at the other hospital when mc was off bc they didn’t always have the same hours and she would see Tobias and they would both stare at one another and then one day Aurora would be like do you like him and then it would go from there OR mc and Tobias hasn’t interacted since he helped save mc but when Leland put Tobias on the team she was nervous around him and she didn’t really understand why but when they had to work more cases together and sometimes two on two she realized she has feelings from him and that freaked her out and didn’t say anything but they still got close and they stared to hang out some while not on cases and then one day Tobias admits he was scared when Aurora told him what happened to mc during the attack when they all thought she was going to die and then they eventually told each other they had feelings for one another

I have no idea if any of this made any sense I am tired af but was scrolling tumblr and saw some oph stuff that made me think of this, delete/ignore if this made no sense omg that was so long 😂

You made perfect sense - lol don't worry!

Honestly, while I always say it was a sin that we didn't get him as an LI, I have no doubt in my mind that if PB had done it, they would have done a horrible job. Especially in the debacle that was Book 3.

I think they could have had SUCH a good storyline if they had added him as an LI in 3. Can you imagine the tension between him and Ethan? Even if you were not on the Ethan route, he still would have lost his mind at Tobias being with "his" intern. It was such a juicy story right there, so, of course, PB blew it. lol But again, I'm almost glad they skipped it because it probably would have sucked.

I like both of your HCs very much! In my main HC, they meet in the deli, just like canon, but sparks fly right away. They start dating shortly after, and they're crazy about each other - much to Tobias's dismay because he's usually not this into anyone - then he steals Stephanie (per canon), and Casey calls things off. He contacts her and tries to make amends, but she tells him she needs time. Then she and Ethan go to Kenmore to steal Ferrugia, and she sees questionable texts from June on his phone (in my HC, he was not still seeing June at this point, but Casey is led to believe he his). So she dumps him in dramatic fashion. lol

The only reason Tobias got a 2nd chance in my HC is because of the attack. After, she agreed they could be friends, but nothing more. But for many reasons (too long to go into here lol), she feels comfortable with him. So he would take her to her therapy appointments (because in my HC, she didn't rebound from that attack in a day like in canon lol), and he'd take her out once a week - as friends. They both fall for each other - everyone can see it - except these 2 idiots. Since he promised her they'd just be friends, he doesn't want to go back on her word, and Casey's too afraid to say anything. So they almost don't get together - but then they do (I'm in the process of writing that last part now.)

Tobias was criminally underutilized in canon. Even if he were not an LI, they could have done so much more with him. Once again, PB was disappointed. :(

Thanks for the ask! I'm always willing to ramble aimlessly about Tobias! lol

[cnlyfans]

      she  was  absolutely  right  ;  every  point  she  was  trying  to  make  landing  exactly  as  it  should  ,  nailing  his  coffin  shut  each  time  her  lips  parted  to  say  something  more  .  and  as  tired  as  she  was  of  being  disappointed  ,  he  was  equally  as  exhausted  being  the  one  to  let  her  down  .  "  juliette  ,  i  have  clients  with  real  legal  matters  .  sometimes  it's  not  as  simple  as  calling  out  sick  or  telling  my  assistant  to  clear  my  schedule  .  there  are  deadlines  ,  court  dates  ,  plea  deals  .  what  you  consider  a  few  hours  away  from  the  office  , they  consider  a  thin  line  between  going  to  prison  or  home  to  their  families  .  "  his  shoulders  slump  as  he  leans  forward  to  rest  his  hand  against  her  thigh  ,  giving  it  a  gentle  squeeze  before  tenderly  skimming  his  thumb  over  the  soft  flesh  in  reassurance  .  "  i'm  sorry  .  the  very  last  thing  i  intend  to  do  is  make  you  upset  on  days  that  we're  going  to  look  back  on  .  if  anything  this  whole  ordeal  will  haunt  me  but  ...  i  assure  you  ,  i've  done  nothing  but  anticipate  this  appointment  since  it  was  booked  .  "  he  couldn't  promise  that  he'd  always  be  readily  available  ,  but  he  hoped  the  sentiment  would  somehow  bridge  the  gap  .  "  now  ,  "  lungs  fill  with  air  as  he  stands  from  where  he's  been  seated  to  glance  around  the  room  ,  "  you  sit  here  while  i  go  pay  off  the  doctor  .  we're  seeing  our  kid  today  if  costs  me  my  retirement  .  "

plump petals pressed into a thin line as piercing blue hues stay focused on his features. " i have been waiting because i didn't want to go in without you," the blonde points out, unable to hide the hint of disappointment that shaded her words. "but now we're late, and they might not even be able to see us today." she's trying. she's trying not to turn this into an argument, to rise to his level and be the kind of woman he expects her to be. " you knew had an appointment today, you couldn't have been more mindful of the time ? perhaps cleared your afternoon, or at least kept track of it? you do it when you deem it important enough," she points, trying her best to keep her voice from quavering. " i'm sorry, i need you to tell me now, banks. if you're not going to be present when our child needs you, when i need you, i need to know now. "

[stillfruit]

i need someone to punch me or run me over with a car or something i don’t care just anything i’m sick and tired