#i'm booking an appointment with my doctor this is tiring at this point

[pepsi-maxwell]

may be back btw how we doing

[orionremastered]

Requested via DMs

Masterlist

Helping Hand

Dick Grayson [DCD]

When they say 'opposites attract', the two of you are the prime example.

Dick is in the center of the room, doing flips and handstands and whatever else the agile swan can accomplish while you stand in the corner, afraid to bump into anything and everything and therefore give yourself another bruise.

"It's okay," Dick always tells you. But you've endured bullying for it in school and that's not okay, which was what he always told you too.

Slowly but surely, he teaches you a simple stretch routine. It's something you were never really able to do, especially not a three minute one, but he's a good teacher.

"See? Told you that you could do it."

Hmm. So he did.

Jason Todd [Dyslexia]

It's late and for once Jason doesn't have patrol. So you both do what you normally do on this rare occasion make out with you sitting on the kitchen counter which is him reading a book to you while you lay on top of him, slowly drifting off to sleep.

His lips murmur against your forehead as he slowly moves his head to kiss you there gently.

"You tired, baby?"

"No," you tell him with an unconvincing yawn. "One more chapter?"

He smiles, pressing another kiss to your forehead. He knows you'll be asleep when the chapter's finished, but he keeps reading anyway.

Tim Drake [ADHD]

Breakfast at 10am because you managed to get Tim to sleep is always the best kind of breakfast.

"You have a doctor's appointment in an hour."

Breakfasts where Tim has to remind you that you have an appointment today is always the worst kind of breakfast.

You rush to clean your teeth and get changed, putting on your shoes before heading out the door.

"You forgot your keys," he calls from the dining table.

"Right, yes, thanks," you run back inside and snatch the keys about to step out the door before he adds,

"You forgot your phone too."

Shit.

Damian Wayne [Dyscalculia]

"This is hopeless," you sigh.

Damian rolls his eyes, handing you a pencil. "You can do it. I know it's hard, but you can."

"Easy for you to say. You're like, an evil warlord master mind and king of the world or something."

You have a point and you both know it. Damian's eyebrow raises. "I'm evil?"

"You're not doing my math homework for me."

"Because I can't help you in the exam." And yet, you feel like he could find a way if he really wanted to.

The two of you have been at it for what feels like hours, trying to help you understand math concepts that everyone else in your year already understands. But Damian apparently thinks you can somehow figure it out.

"Come on," Damian says. "Ten more minutes and then we can take a break."

Apparently you can't make text yellow anymore so Tim's fucken orange ig 🤷‍♀️

[ironstrange1991]

Forbidden (Part 8): I'm Yours

+18 Smut

Pairing: Doctor Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: When Y/n attends a doctor's appointment she ends up discovering something about Stephen's past. At night, desire and reason wage a battle that both she and Stephen cannot fight against.

Word Count: 11,3k

Warnings: SMUT: Fingering, oral sex with male and female receiving, cum eating.

A/N: This one is very long but I had a very nice time writing it. I really hope you guys enjoy it and have a nice reading ;) - Also I was very tired while editing this one so any typos os grammar mistakes will be fixed later.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Stephen had no idea what he was doing. He didn't know how to cook.  He barely knew how to make coffee and tea, but he needed to have something ready to offer you when you woke up. So he got up and went straight to the kitchen to try his luck preparing breakfast.  However, his attempt was frustrated when the eggs began to stick to the bottom of the pan and the bacon, forgotten in the fire, turned to charcoal.

"Shit" He cursed, turning off the heat and using the napkin to try to remove any evidence of smoke from the kitchen. "Okay, plan B." He said throwing the napkin on the stove and resorting to the sling ring in the pocket of his pants. He was about to open a portal when he heard Wong and America's voices approaching.

"What's that smell?" America said as they entered the kitchen. She looked from Stephen to the stove and back to him. "Were you trying to cook?"

He sighed, returning the sling ring to his pocket.

"How many times have I told you to stay out of my kitchen, Strange?" Wong scolded, taking a good look around and then pointed to the frying pan. "Was that supposed to be bacon?"

 "It's my kitchen. I'm the master of this Sanctum and yes, it was supposed to be bacon, but I forgot it in the fire because I was trying to cook the eggs..."

America sat at the table and looked at him for a second. "This is so weird. Why are you acting so weird? And since when do you try to cook?"

Wong moved his fingers and immediately the remnants of Stephen's attempt to make breakfast disappeared. The smell also disappeared. "What does she eat?"

"Wait, who?" America asked and then smiled openly. “Does Y/n here?”

"He wouldn't try to make breakfast for himself." Wong confirmed. “He would rather starve.”

Stephen rested his hands on his hips, running his tongue around the corner of his mouth. "It's not what you’re thinking."

America grimaced. "Oh, gross."

"It's nothing like that. I picked her up at a party and we talked and it got late. That's all."

Wong smirked, clearly unconvinced. Somehow he had already started making a batter that Stephen thought was pancakes. The eggs were already scrambled and ready to go in the frying pan and the bacon slices were already arranged in the other frying pan. Of course he used magic to cook, but Stephen didn't even know how to do that. He never understood the cooking spells books.

"I have no idea what she eats..." He admitted.

"I'm sure she'll be satisfied. She doesn't seem very demanding..."  Wong said without a trace of humor.

Stephen frowned at the comment, but decided not to say anything. Instead he turned to America.

"How are things at Kamar Taj? Have you learned anything special that you want to show me?"

"Boring." The girl replied, "But my portals are more stable, and Wong let me read the astral projection books."

Stephen nodded turning to face Wong. "Is she ready for this yet?"

"No, but she's impatient and stubborn, much like someone I know." Wong responded. He was finishing preparing the eggs and bacon and starting to fry the pancakes.

The corners of Stephen's lips turned up in a discreet smile. "I'm sure she can handle it, then."

America smiled proudly.

...

When you opened your eyes, you had to make an effort to understand where you were, but little by little the memories of last night came back to you and you felt your heart racing in your chest. Your hand felt the mattress next to you, finding only empty space where Stephen once was and you understood that you were alone in the room.

You smiled to yourself while a movie played in your head and without thinking about what you were doing, you hugged his pillow and brought it to your nose, breathing in his delicious smell into your lungs. It was fresh, like some kind of herb scent you couldn’t identify. You decided you loved that smell.

 Everything was so surreal, but at the same time it felt so right. Every kiss, every touch, and that orgasm... Even though you felt blushing, you didn't feel like you had done anything wrong, quite the opposite. And you wanted more. So much more. You wanted to experience everything with him, give yourself completely to him. Somehow you felt like everything made sense now. You never found anyone to lose your virginity to because in reality it was always Stephen.

It took a few minutes for you to finally get up and you were leaving the bathroom, dressed in your dress and boots when Stephen entered the room.

"Hey, good morning." He said, approaching you and kissing you softly as if you had already done that a million times.

"Good morning" You said into his lips. "I used your toothbrush again."

Stephen smirked "Hmm, I can get used to this."

"Hmm, you're so responsive." He whispered in your ear and then stepped away smirking, pleased to see you falling apart for him.

"Maybe you should." You wrapped your arms around his neck and stood on tiptoe to kiss him properly now and his tongue tasted like coffee and toothpaste.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and broke the kiss only to tuck his head into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply. Not satisfied, he rubbed his goatee on your skin and finished with a little bite on your earlobe, making your entire body tremble.  He was such a tease, you thought.

"Breakfast is ready." He informed casually. "Wong and America are back. They're waiting for us downstairs."

You needed a minute to recover from the state he left you in so you could finally think straight.

"Stephen... I don't know if it's a good idea. Wong..."

"He made you breakfast. He has his reservations because of the age difference, but he's on our side, sweetheart. Both are."

You seemed to think for a second.

"Or I can take you home now, like I promised." He offered but you could see the disappointment in his expressions. You shook your head taking his hand in yours.

"No, it's okay. I'm starving and I'm not looking forward to leave you, anyway."

"Me neither." He confessed kissing you. “I feel like a teenager. Don’t want to let you go.”

You smiled feeling your heart flutter in your chest.  You were understanding little by little that that feeling would be an usual thing from now on.

You couldn't say that you ever imagined sitting at the table having breakfast with Wong knowing that he knew you and Stephen were together. It was kind of a dream come true, but at the same time it was scary too. Wong was scaring. He didn't hide the way he looked at you and Stephen. America also didn't make a point of hiding the smile on her face and you began to realize that both of them had joined the dots and reached the very obvious conclusion that you were Stephen had slept together. Well, you had slept together, but the term usually implied that you had had sex, but you hadn't. Not exactly. Well, everything was a bit confusing at the moment.

"America told me you have a show scheduled for tonight." Stephen said, breaking the silence that was starting to get awkward. "You hadn't told me anything."

In fact, you had completely forgotten. Ever since Stephen took you to the Sanctum, everything outside seemed to have ceased to exist.

"I forgot to mention. I actually have a rehearsal this afternoon. It's a big avenue, I'm excited to see how it goes."

Stephen smiled reassuringly at you, clearly noticing the nervousness in your voice. “I’m sure you’re going to be great.”

"Thank you.” You smiled  “You guys should come.  I'd love to have some familiar faces in the audience." You added.

"I would love to..." Stephen started to say, but was quickly cut off by Wong.

"But he will have to decline because we have work to do."

"Come on Wong, it's Sunday." America complained. "Stephen just got back."

"And that's why he has a lot to do." Wong completed and then returned to you "You'll see that dating a master of the mystical arts is not as advantageous as you think, Miss Y/l/n. Especially one his age."

You could notice a slight blush on Stephen's cheeks, that’s why you were firm in your answer. "I am very grateful for everything you guys do to protect us, Wong, and I am prepared for the challenges that await me."

Stephen smirked, but soon turned his attention to America who was whispering about the possibility of going to the show.

Wong pretended not to notice and turned to you again "What about your family? I don't believe Stark will be satisfied with this new arrangement."

"It's not an arrangement, it's a relationship, Wong" Stephen corrected.

"We agreed that we'll wait to tell Tony. It's still too early, but I'm sure he'll understand." You said trying to sound confident, but deep down you were terrified with the idea.

Wong didn't say anything else and you had the strange feeling of being in an interview, as if Wong wanted to know if you were good enough or weren't going to cause problems for Stephen. The situation was awkward, but the idea of ​​Wong caring about Stephen was pleasant, after all you knew Stephen had no family besides Wong and America.

...

“Have a nice show” Stephen said as you walked through the portal to your room.

"You are not going?" The disappointment in your voice was palpable which made him smile.

"I promise I'll try." He said threatening to close the portal.

"Stephen..."

He waited for what you had to say, but you actually didn't have anything specific to say, you just wanted to spend a few more seconds in his presence.

"I really loved last night." You confessed, feeling your cheeks blush.

He smirked seeming visibly relieved.

"I know you're insecure about what we did, but I enjoyed having that moment with you and... I really want to have more of that, of everything."

He nodded and his smile widened into a cute sideways smile.

"Me too, sweetheart. Me too."

"Bye then. Hope to see you tomorrow."

"You will. One way or another."

...

The days that followed were a torment. You were on fire inside, but you needed to pretend everything was normal. You needed to contain all that euphoria and act as if nothing was happening and of course you were failing miserably.

Your life was changing for the better. College was going very well, your band, that you always saw as something condemned to failure, was having success and recognition that you never dreamed it would have, your show on the biggest avenue you've ever played was a real hit - it could have been better if Stephen had been there to see you, but unfortunately it wasn't possible as he explained - and most important of all, you and Stephen were together and even though everything had to be hidden, you were more than happy about it. It was a dream come true.

It was a Wednesday morning and you were having breakfast with Nat, Tony - who had returned from the mission the day before - and Pepper. You were late for college, but you had decided it wouldn't hurt to miss the first class of the morning since you were way ahead of your class anyway. You hadn't been able to see Stephen since Sunday night and although you spoke every day on the phone you missed him deeply. You thought about making up some excuse to go to the Sanctum, but it seemed he would be too busy and couldn't pay attention to you even if you did.

You sighed, feeling bored and just pretending to participate in the conversation and your cell phone started to buzz with messages that didn't stop arriving. You knew it was Stephen. He always texted you at that time to say good morning and wish you a good class. It was cute actually, but you didn't want to answer because you knew you would look silly reading his texts, blushing like a teenage girl, and you didn't want Tony to ask questions, but the texts kept coming and at first Tony pretended not to care by putting a lot of effort into reading his newspaper, but when the buzzing continued he placed the newspaper on the table and stared you.

"If you don't read these texts I'm going to make Friday hack your cell phone and read them to us." He threatened.

You took your phone and read the texts feeling your cheeks blush and of course Pepper noticed because she were very observant, but she made a point of starting a new topic to distract Tony for which you were glad.

"The record company called to schedule a new meeting with Y/n. Apparently the success of Sunday's concert caught their attention."

"The fact that her songs are playing on the radio non-stop seems like a good reason too." Tony added.

"Those fuckers were extremely disrespectful last time. I don't see any point in giving them a second chance when you're doing so well on your own." Nat addressed you, but you weren't really paying attention to them, your mind was still on those texts.

"Y/n... are you listening to what we're saying?" Tony pressed.

You put your phone back in your pants pocket without answering and shrugged, "I like the idea of ​​being independent. I've never really wanted a record company, not like this. We all know they're only interested in having the Stark name under their wing."

Tony sighed "You might be right." He pointed to your pocket "Who was it?"

"America" ​​You lied through your teeth.

"What does she want?" He asked and Pepper gave you a disapproving glare  that said she wasn't buying that lie.

"She's still struggling with her philosophy classes. Maybe I'll stop by the Sanctum tomorrow to help her." You said taking the opportunity to come up with a excuse to go there.

"It's a great idea. Just be careful not to end up disturbing the wizards. You know, protectors of reality bla bla bla." Tony teased.

"Stephen and Wong will probably be at the Kamar Taj." You ran to explain.

"Excellent." He said, wiping his lips on his napkin and standing up. "Anyway, I trust your good judgment about the band and everything else. It's been working out really well so far." He said, bending down to place a small kiss on the top of your head like he always did since you were a child. You smiled at him sheepishly, feeling bad for hiding something so important from him.

"What are the plans for today?" Pepper asked getting up too.

"Work in the workshop if I'm lucky. You?"

"Company shareholders meeting."

He made a funny face "I'm glad I'm not you."

You watched the two walk away with a smile on your face. Tony and Pepper were perfect for each other and they gave you a sense of family and belonging that you never imagined you would feel again after your parents died.

Your cell phone buzzed again, and you knew it was Stephen asking for an answer.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on or am I going to have to threaten you too?" Nat asked looking visibly bored. Apparently life as a convalescent Avenger wasn't all that exciting and since Bruce had a lot of work he couldn't give her the attention she craved.

GOOD MORNING, LOVE. I HOPE YOU SLEPT WELL AND HAVE A GREAT DAY.

You took your cell phone and decided to show her the texts. It was time for you to tell someone and the options were her and MJ, but MJ was in Boston.

You stayed silent watching her reading the words you knew by heart.

I SCHEDULED AN APPOINTMENT FOR YOU WITH DR PALMER AFTER OUR CONVERSATION YESTERDAY. SHE ATTENDS AT METRO GENERAL HOSPITAL. IT WILL BE THIS AFTERNOON. I KNOW YOU ARE FREE BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME.

PLEASE GO AND WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT TONIGHT IF YOU WANT.

 I MISS YOU, SWEETHEART. TALKING ON THE PHONE IS NOT ENOUGH AND I CAN'T GET THE MEMORIES OF SATURDAY NIGHT OUT OF MY HEAD.

SO, WHAT DO YOU TELL ME? ARE YOU GOING?

It took Nat less than a minute to google who Dr. Palmer was and the look on her face showed that she had gotten it all wrong.

"You two aren't that stupid!" She said sharply and you felt offended that she could make assumptions about you like that.

"It's not what you are thinking." You defended yourself and took the cell phone out of her hand. "It's actually the opposite of that."

Nat waited for you to explain, and you glanced around the empty dining room.

"Nat, I'm virgin. I swear I thought you knew that, after all you are a Russian spy."

She raised an eyebrow. "I always knew that, but according to these texts you no longer are."

You smiled to yourself remembering the night you had with Stephen and decided that nothing in the world would make you tell that to Nat. "We had a moment together, it was good, but we didn't get to do anything. Not yet. He's decided to take it slow and respect my own time."

Nat nodded in agreement, looking offensively impressed.

"But the truth is, I don't want to wait another minute to do it. I really love him, Nat. It has to be him. It couldn't be anyone else."

"Look, I confess that Strange has surprised me positively. And I think it should happen, it's been a long time coming."

"Nat!"

"I'm just trying to say that I think he's sensible. As sensible as possible since he's picking this fight with Stark."

You bit the corner of your cheek trying to decide whether or not it was better to stop that conversation, but ended up not resisting. "But you're on our side, right? Stephen thinks that when we tell him, the Avengers will be against him. It's important to have at least one Avenger on our side. Someone who truly understands."

Nat sighed heavily, probably realizing the trouble she'd gotten herself into, but finally she smiled reassuringly. "I'm by your side."

...

You hated hospitals. Your nails continued to dig holes into your palms as you headed to the elevator of the huge, luxurious building to get to the obstetrics and gynecology floor, but it wasn't just the fact that hospitals made you feel sick that was making you anxious. In fact, you did yourself the bad favor of searching for Dr Palmer online during boring morning classes and found some photos of her and Stephen together at some events. You knew very well that Stephen worked at that hospital for years before his accident and that it was normal for him to have photos with his coworkers, but your anxious mind kept telling you that there was a compromising intimacy in those photos you saw.

You got out of the elevator in a kind of daze and observed the waiting room, which at that time was completely empty.

“Miss Y/l/n, right?” The secretary asked as you approached the counter. You smiled and nodded. You had been used to being recognized in places for a long time. It was the price you paid for being Iron Man's goddaughter.

"I have an appointment with Dr. Palmer."

"I need your ID for registration and we will need a photo for your record. Can you look at the camera, please?"

You did what the woman asked almost automatically, a whirlwind of thoughts racing through your mind.

You waited for what seemed like an eternity as the woman typed.

"Ready." She informed you and you handed her the credit card, but instead of taking it she just smiled.  "It says here that the appointment has already been paid for. Your ID. Just wait a minute. She'll call you."

You rolled your lips together "Is it okay if I ask who paid for the appointment?"

She looked at the monitor looking equally curious. "Let's see... It says Dr. Strange. Oh, he used to work here, you know? I came to talk to him a few times. Brilliant doctor. Of course, now that he's a superhero he doesn't come to the hospital anymore."

"I'm sure the fact that he can't practice medicine anymore is the real reason." You answered.

"Ah of course. A tragedy!"

You just nodded with a polite smile and walked away, sitting in one of the many empty armchairs drumming your fingers on the arms of it and letting your mind do what it did best. Stephen was a neurosurgeon, what reason did he had to come to the gynecology floor often enough for the secretary to remember him? What if they were more than work friends? What if they still kept in touch? Stephen just said that she was a friend, but didn't give any more details, however he felt free to pay for your appointment  with his own card. What if he had told her everything about you?

“Miss Y/l/n?” A velvety voice called, and you faced the doctor in all her glory dressed in a ridiculous pink coat, but it didn't make her any less beautiful for that. "Come in, please."

You entered the huge office that had plaques and awards with her name on shelves as if they were trophies.

"Before we begin, allow me to formally introduce myself. I am Dr. Christine Palmer."

You smiled politely "Y/n Y/l/n."

"Tony Stark's daughter." She said with a kind of reverence in her voice.

"Goddaughter, actually. But I don't think there's much of a difference." You corrected it.

She smiles, showing annoyingly perfect teeth. "Stephen told me about you. He called me personally to ask for the appointment, given his insistence should I assume something is wrong, miss Y/l/n?"

"Please, call me Y/n." You said feeling yourself blush. You had no idea how to start and the fact that this woman knew Stephen didn't help matters."

"I saw some pictures of you and Doctor Strange, are you friends?" You asked, scaping from the initial and most important question.

She seemed slightly confused by the question, but replied simply "Stephen and I are work friends, well we were work friends. I hadn't seen him in ages, in fact I was surprised when he called me."

You agreed "There's nothing wrong. I actually need a method of contraception." You exhaled slowly and finished speaking at once, "I'm a virgin and I intend to stop being so."

She nodded, keeping her expression professional, but you knew her head was working on the connection between what you just said and the fact that Stephen was so insistent that the appointment be as quick as possible, in addition to the fact that he paid for the appointment. For you, at least, the truth was almost obscene.

"I see. Well, there is a huge variety of methods. Pills are the most common, but I personally really like Implants.

"What is the most effective method?" You asked apprehensively.

She smiled, seeming to notice your hesitation and continued. "The pill requires an almost religious commitment. It must be taken every day at the same time and cannot be forgotten. For this reason, I usually recommend the implant. Furthermore, it is one of the methods that least affects your libido and since you just explained that you want to start your sex life now, I imagine this is an important aspect for choosing."

You nodded feeling like your face was on fire and she continued to pretend not to notice.

"It lasts for 3 years and can be reapplied after that and as there is no danger of forgetting like the pill, its effectiveness is usually 99.9%"

"Does it hurt?"

"It's a simple procedure and we use local anesthesia. It can be done today if you prefer."

You swallow thickly. "After I put it on, how long will it take before I can..." You let the words trail off in the air.

"It depends on when your last period was, but in general it is preferable to wait 10 to 15 days to be sure. Remembering that this does not mean that you cannot have sex before this period, but you need to use condoms."

You nodded. "Does it have side effects?"

"It is common for women to stop menstruating when using it, but it is also common to have breakthrough bleeding. In general, menstruation will be very irregular until your body gets used to it. The good news is that it tends to greatly reduce the effects of PMS."

You nodded. "Can we put it on now?"

"Sure." She said, getting up and going to one of the huge closets in the office.

When returning home in the taxi you could feel your arm slightly numb due to the anesthesia and the small bandage, as small as it was, was quite visible and you were going crazy thinking about what to say in case someone noticed.

Luckily when you entered the tower you didn't bump into anyone on the way to your room and after closing the door you threw yourself on the bed and called MJ, after all you owed her an update and there was indeed a lot to tell.

...

Stephen checked his cell phone every five minutes waiting for news, but every time he was disappointed. To make matters worse for him, the day was being particularly slow and he would rather be dealing with some interdimensional beast than facing that anxiety alone. He was particularly worried about the fact that he hadn't explained to Y/n that he and Christine had an affair years ago and being as smart as she was it was clear to him that it wouldn't take long for her to find out. That's if she hadn't already discovered it. God, he looked like a teenager experiencing his first love. What was Y/n doing to him?

He was in the Kamar Taj library doing the worst, most boring job in the world when America came running in looking for him.

"You won't believe what I almost managed to do!"  The enthusiasm in her voice made him bite back a snarky comment.

"I hope it's better than spending the whole afternoon cataloging books."

"So much better. I almost managed to conjure the mirrored dimension. I could even hear and see the glass breaking, but I couldn't maintain focus for long enough. Master Hamir said it's normal and that I have to keep trying."

"And he's right." Stephen said, putting the last book on the shelf and closing the ledger. He placed it in the librarian's desk drawer and checked his cell phone again. Nothing.

"Something wrong?" America asked and he shook his head.

"I hope not. Come here, I'm proud of you, kid."

America walked over and he wrapped his arms around her. It was a strange sensation. Letting someone get close to him like that after so long running away from any relationship with another person, however since America arrived, she started to soften his heart and Y/n was doing much more than that.

"Uh Stephen... you can let me go now."

"Oh ok." He said a little sheepishly and released the grip of his arms around her. America stepped away looking at the Sorcerer Supreme's book collection.

"Oh they are so mysterious. I would die to read one of those." She exclaimed!

"You wouldn't read them if you were dead."

She looked at him rolling her eyes "Have you read them yet?"

"Sometimes."

"So, I don't need to be a Sorcerer Supreme to be able to read them?"

"No. You just need to be smarter than I was when I read them and not cause problems."

She smiles "I think I can do that."

Stephen was ready to tell her it was easier said than done when they heard footsteps approaching in the hallway.

"Strange, are you done working here?" Wong asked, looking at them with a look that clearly said 'shouldn't you be doing something useful?'".

"Yep. By the way I'm heading back to Sanctum to check if everything's okay. Are you coming with me?" He asked America to which she grimaced.

"I still have one more class."

He nodded, taking his sling ring from his pocket and opening a portal home.

"See you tomorrow then."

...

It was past 10pm and you and Stephen were texting like two teenagers and you had to cover your mouth to muffle the sound of your giggles as you read each of his texts. He was so silly and cute and dirty and funny and so many other things that you had no way of knowing before you actually got to know him. Yes, he was a powerful sorcerer and a famous superhero, but when he talked to you, he was just Stephen and you felt yourself falling more and more in love with him with each passing minute.

I WANTED YOU WERE HERE

You suddenly confessed to which he texted back immediately.

YOU KNOW I CAN FIX THAT, RIGHT?

You bit your bottom lip, sitting up in bed immediately. Were he serious?

WOULDN'T IT BE VERY INAPPROPRIATE?

He answered with an emoji smiling sideways exactly like he used to do and just thinking about that smile made you simply abandon your reason. You got up and locked the door and took a look in the mirror. You were reasonably presentable. Fresh from the shower, comfortable lingerie covered by an old tee, hair tied in a messy bun. You smile at your image in the mirror and throw yourself on the bed, picking up your cell phone and answering.

I’M WAITING.

It didn't take a full minute before you heard the familiar hiss of the portal and Stephen walked past it with a smirk on his lips. He was dressed in sweatpants and a tee and his hair was wet and the smell of cologne made it possible to tell that he had also just gotten out of the shower.

"We can't make any noise. Tony and Pepper's room is next door." You whispered.

His smirk widened into a cocky grin. "I can fix that too." He whispered back.

"Yeah? How?"

He moved his hands in a complicated gesture and the walls were enveloped by a kind of ring of golden light that soon dissipated completely.

"Totally soundproof." He informed proudly. “Very useful spell.”

"That was sexy." You smiled, getting up and going to him. Stephen wrapped you in his arms containing your sudden advance and held your face gently directing you to his lips and kissed you slowly, but devilishly good and you felt your knees getting weak.

"I've missed you all day." He confessed as he finally allowed his lips to part to breathe. "I don't care how this sounds, Y/n, but I really don't know how I managed to spend so much time loving you from afar. I don't want to be away from you anymore. Never."

You didn't have time to formulate an answer because he pulled you to his lips again and this time he tightened his grip around your body and you could feel every muscle beneath the thin fabric of the t-shirt and the inviting heat coming from his skin.

"I've missed you all day too." You confessed, holding his hand and pulling him to your bed. You sat crisscrossed against the headboard and he sat facing you, but he stole one of your pillows and lay down next to you with the same naturalness as someone who always did that.

"But you kept me waiting for a text all day." He complained.

"Because I was a little mad at you and I didn't know what to say."

He sighed, "I knew I should have talked about Christine with you, but Sweetheart it was years ago, I swear I didn't think it was important enough to mention."

You ran your tongue along the corner of your cheek. "I knew there was something in those photos. MJ kept telling me I was being paranoid, but I'm never wrong."

Stephen buried his face in the pillow groaning, "That wasn't what you were mad about, was it?"

"No, but thanks for adding another reason."

He looked at you trying to be serious, but there was an arrogant smile on his lips. "I've always wanted to know what you're like when you're jealous."

"I am not jealous!" You defended yourself taking one of the pillows that were next to you and throwing at him. "I just think you have no idea how uncomfortable it was for me to be there talking to your ex about losing my virginity and choosing contraceptive methods when you made a point of making everything so obvious by insisting that the appointment was scheduled as soon as possible and the worst part, you paid for it."

"It was the very least I could do. You went there because of me." He defended himself.

"That’s not true. I went there because of me and Stephen, don't make me talk about a topic I don't feel comfortable talking about."

He said nothing, instead he continued looking at you waiting for you to speak.

"I don't need you to pay me anything. I'm Tony Stark's goddaughter!"

He rolled his eyes. "It's not about the money..."

He stopped and took a deep breath and then began to explain himself. "Y/n, you're half my age, less than that. You're a virgin, which scared me a little, I confess, but it also makes me feel protective towards you. I wanted you to have the best doctor in the city, probably in the country and I was anxious for us to resolve this as soon as possible and I didn't stop to think for a second about my past with Christine because it didn't mean anything to me. She was a friend I had sex with at work, that's all."

You opened your mouth to interrupt him several times, but ended up giving in. Deep down you knew you were being dramatic.

"She is very beautiful." You said with a pout.

"No more than you." He responded, opening his arms so you could cuddle into his chest. You lid down letting yourself be hugged as you became aware that Stephen was really in your room at that time of night. It was wrong somehow, even though you were an adult, the secret made everything feel so dirty, but you couldn't deny to yourself that you were enjoying the feeling.

You held Stephen's face in your hands and kissed him hard like you wanted from the moment he arrived and he let out a soft moan on your lips that made your heart jump in your chest.

"Now tell me about the appointment." He asked when you finally broke the kiss.

You told all the details of the most awkward medical appointment of your life and each time you brought new information you felt your face getting hotter.

"It's just a little sore now." You said as he ran his index finger lightly over the band aid you placed on your forearm.

"Well, I also have something to show you." He said moving the fingers of one hand and conjuring a sealed envelope. He handed it to you with a somewhat shy smile that was unusual for him, but equally beautiful.

"What is this?" You asked curiously.

"Open it."

You opened it and only after finding his name in the top right corner of the sheet did you understood.

The laboratory exam had a list of tests that were carried out to detect herpes, syphilis, hepatitis, HIV, among others and at the end of the sheet there was a single line that said: negative for the pathologies tested.

He waited silently for some kind of response, but all you could think was that you didn't need that. His words were enough for you.

"When did you take these tests?"

"Yesterday."

You handed the sheet back to him and kissed him softly "I believed you when you said you haven't had anyone in the last six months. You didn't need to..."

"But I wanted to. It's important to me that you know I'm clean. It's the least I could do since you..."

You waited for him to finish, but he just smiled.

“Since I…” You pressed.

"Since you're giving yourself to me."

You smirked at his choice of words.

"Is that what I'm doing?"

He held your chin steady and bit your bottom lip to tease you.

"You know very well what you are doing, young lady, and you know very well how much I am looking forward to it."

You nodded, but pouted "Your ex said we should wait at least 10 days..."

He rolled his eyes, "Don't call her that. It's not fair."

You let out a soft giggle "Fair enough, but it doesn't change what she said."

He kissed you softly and ran his index finger down your neck, down to your breast and circled your nipple until it got hard under your shirt.

"I’m a patient man." He said in the most anti-climax statement you could imagine.

"Well, but I’m not a patient woman. I'm so tired of waiting, Stephen. I've already waited too long." You grumbled, crossing your arms like a child indignant at being denied their favorite toy.

"For someone who have waited until now, you are very impatient indeed." He teased.

"For someone who hasn't had sex in six months, you're really slow."  You replied to which he let out a small laugh, but then he held your face in his hands and kissed you hard with tongue, teeth and a newfound passion that literally took your breath away.

"Just because I was trying to play nice, but now I think you've changed my mind. Now I’m going to take advantage of your inexperience. What do you say, sweetheart?"

You bit your lower lip, feeling your cheeks heat up, but you didn't let yourself be intimidated by your shyness. "Yes."

Stephen's eyes darkened with desire and a sly smile played on his lips. "Yeah? You don't even know what I have in mind and you're already saying yes."

You nodded "I trust you."

"But you shouldn't." He kissed you and pushed you onto your back and came on top of you, spreading your legs with his knees and fitting himself between them. He made a point of rubbing his hips against your core, making you feel his half-hard cock contained inside his pants. Unable to control yourself you let out a small moan and he chuckled in your ear making your skin prickle.

"You have no idea how much I want to make love to you finally. I've already waited too long..."

He kissed you again and ground himself against you without any shame and this time you didn't even try to contain your moan as your body responded to the stimulation with a wave of pleasure.

“Stephen…” You mumbled almost incoherently.

"Yes, sweetie. Tell me what you want."

"Touch me. I need you to touch me. I always imagined what it would be like to have your hands on me, your fingers..."

He smirked taking his hands under your t-shirt and grabbing your panties.

"You’re sure?" He confirmed and you nodded, raising your hips for him to take off your panties and your whole body shivered with the night air when he did so.

He lifted your t-shirt to waist level and finally allowed himself to look at your naked body, his hands slid up your legs and before you could understand what he was doing he started placing little kisses on the inside of your thighs and the brush of his goatee against your skin made your entire body prickle.

"Your skin is so soft and smells so good."  He praised, moving his lips in small wet kisses down your crotch and getting more and more dangerously close to where you really wanted him. "I imagined myself doing this so many times..."

"Stephen...please." You wonder if you knew what you were begging for. You just knew you didn't want him to stop, you just wanted much more."

But he stopped, at least long enough to give you a smug look and put his middle finger to his mouth. He sucked his own finger and then took it between your legs, opened your folds with his other fingers and touched your clit lightly, but enough to make your entire body tremble with the sensation.  He slid his finger up and down between your folds with absurd ease and you realized that you were shamefully wet and of course he noticed that too.

"Fuck sweetheart, is this all because of me?" He teased, moving his finger in circles on your clit and making your hips buck against his hand. "So sensitive. I've barely touched you yet."

You bit your lip trying to hold back a moan, but it escaped your lips anyway.

"It's okay, I like listening to you, love." He cooed encouraging you. "I'm going to try something else and you're going to tell me how you feel about it, okay?"

You nodded watching him dive between your legs. He licked you from bottom to top and then used his fingers to spread your folds and then licked again directly on your clit this time and you moaned outrageously loud. No words were necessary.

He hummed pleased with your reaction and gave it a long lick again and then began to flick the tip of his tongue on your clit sending shocks of pleasure throughout your body. The touch of his beard on your sensitive skin increased all the sensations even more.

"Fuck Stephen... oh my..." You stopped biting your lip and grabbing his hair with one of your hands without realizing what you were doing, but he didn't seem to mind.

You always heard about how good oral sex was, but you never imagined it felt this good and at the same time you were a mess of sensations and feelings because you had never been touched by a man before and not just any man was doing, it was Stephen, your Stephen and the realization of that brought you surprisingly close to cumming and you found yourself desperate to warn him because... wouldn't it be rude if you came in his face?

"Stephen, I think I'm gonna..."

But he stopped immediately upon hearing those words and emerged to look at you with the most beautiful and naughty smile in the world.

"You're very sensitive, sweetheart. I've barely started." He said, running a hand over his face.

"I didn't want to... in your face." You confessed and he smiled sweetly at you.

"Sweetheart, there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I'd love it if you did."

"But isn't it gross?" You asked, still unsure, to which he shook his head. "I like it."

You felt yourself blushing "But you stopped."

He smirked "Just because I don't want it to end so quickly. Sex shouldn't be a quick thing, at least not most of the time, we should make it last and that means lessening the stimulation before finishing." He moved so he could kiss you and you found the taste on his tongue strange, but at the same time you found it sexy knowing that it was your taste. "We're just getting started." He whispered against your lips as he brought your index finger back to his lips, he sucked on it and then brought it between your legs and teased your entrance lightly.

"Tell me, when you touch yourself, do you only play with your clit or..." He forced your entrance slightly and you felt your muscles contracting involuntarily.

"You never used your fingers here?" He asked and you shook your head.

"Okay, but I can try a little, can't I? Or do you want me to stop?"

You held his face in your hands.

"Will it hurt?"

He kissed your lips gently, "Not if I do it slowly. And I won't go deep. You just said you trust me, remember?"

You nodded. "I do."

He smiled and you felt a small pressure at your entrance and you immediately squeezed your eyes closed waiting for the pain, but it didn't come, on the contrary you were washed by a wave of pleasure when he started to use his thumb on your clit as he slowly penetrated the middle finger on you.

"Shit." You cursed through your teeth and he chuckled in satisfaction.

"Good girl."

He started to move his finger in and out and the feeling was strange but good at the same time and the next thing you knew you were moving your hips against his hand seeking more friction. He understood immediately and began to put more pressure on his thumb, circling your clit slowly while fingering you.

"I'm going to put another finger, okay? Tell me if it hurts and I'll stop immediately."

You nodded without doubting his word for a moment. You knew Stephen would never hurt you on purpose.

He used his index finger to stretch you a little more and you felt the pressure again and an uncomfortable tug that soon disappeared giving way to pleasure.

"God, you have magical fingers." You heard yourself confessing.

"That's one way of putting it." He teased "But you haven't seen anything yet, sweetheart."

You bit your bottom lip, holding back a moan when he circled his thumb around your clit just the right way and your legs shook with the wave of pleasure that enveloped you.

"Then show me. I want you to teach me everything."

He smiled brightly and pulled you to his lips and kissed you hard, his tongue chased yours in a battle for dominance that you had no intention of winning and he hummed in your lips adorably.

"You're every man's dream, you know that?" He said as he finally allowed himself to break the kiss. "Beautiful, inexperienced and so willing to please. Somehow you make my heart beat faster in my chest and my dick throb in my pants with the same intensity at the same time."

You smiled proudly "Then take me. I'm yours. I always wanted to be yours and no one else's."

You entwined your fingers in his hair and pulled him to your lips again, but his lips didn't just stop at your mouth, they went down your neck where he placed little kisses and bites and then went up to your ear, brushing his goatee there and making your skin prickle again and you swallow thickly. You loved when he did that and he sure as hell knew that.

"Stephen... make love to me. I want it... tonight."

His fingers didn't stop stimulating you for a second, but you wanted more, you wanted to know how it would feel to have him inside you thrusting into you with the same passion you saw the actors in the movies doing, but he shook his head.

"We can't, love."

You shook your head trying to reason with him "We can. We just need to use..."

He interrupted you by kissing you and then explained "I know, but I don't want our first time to be with a condom. It's not the same."

"Oh" That's all you said, and he smiled seeming a little embarrassed "It doesn't change much for you, but for me... shit, now I'm being selfish..."

"It's okay." You reassured him cupping his face gently "I didn’t know. We can wait."

He sighed smiling "But that doesn't mean I can't give you what you need." With that he dived between your legs again and used his tongue on your clit again, but now he wasn't content with just licking, he started sucking as if he was nursing on your sensitive bud and while he did this his fingers continued playing at your entrance, moving in and out at a lazy pace and the combination of stimulation was enough to push you to the edge.

"Oh shit... oh Stephen... gonna cum."

He hummed satisfied and this time he didn't stop, on the contrary, he increased the intensity of the suction on your clit which made you scream in the middle of the orgasm that washed over you.

Your legs shook around his head, your nails dug into his scalp and your fingers pulled his hair and the most beautiful little scream in the world escaped your lips when you came in his mouth. He lapped up all your fluids like a thirsty man and then emerged from the paradise between your legs to look at you and the way you glanced at him made his heart jump in his chest.

Stephen couldn't remember the last time he had given oral sex to a woman. A sexist part of him thought it was too intimate to be done with any of the women he had slept with in recent years, but with you it was natural. It wasn't like he planned it. Stephen was coming to the conclusion that nothing with you happened as planned, you were too spontaneous for that and he was weak in his convictions when it came to you, but it didn't matter, he had loved it, every second between your legs, listening to your little moans were like a trip to paradise and he felt ecstatic.

He moved on top of you, careful not to release the weight of his body on you and cupped your face, pulling it to his lips.

"God I love you, sweetheart."  He heard himself confessing. Stephen had never been so in love in his entire life and as such he never found himself confessing his feelings like that, but it was true. He loved you so much that somehow he knew he couldn't contain it inside him, he needed to pour that love into you again and again.

As if you could read his mind, you smiled the most beautiful smile in the world "I love you too." You whispered and your face turned red with the realization of what had just happened and he thought it was adorable. Yes, he had been surprised by the discovery of your virginity and yes, that had complicated things a little, but he would be a liar if he said he wasn't loving every minute of it. Your innocence and inexperience made everything more exciting.

"I love the way you blush."  He confessed, kissing your lips lightly and then rolled to the side, resting his head on his pillows.

"That's good because I can't control this. It's all so embarrassing, will this become normal for me one day?"

He couldn't help but laugh at your comment.

"Do not laugh at me." You protested, covering your face with your hands, but Stephen held them and replied, "I'm not laughing at you and the answer is yes. It'll become normal."

You turned to snuggle into him and he wrapped his arm around you, letting you lay your head on his shoulder as he intertwined your leg with his.

"Do you remember your first time?" You asked as your fingers traced his goatee absently minded.

Oh yes, he remembered it perfectly and never stopped feeling embarrassed by it.

"Tragically yes." He replied.

"That bad?" You asked curiously.

"I had no idea what I was doing, and it must have lasted three minutes."

Now it was your turn to laugh, but he didn't care, he had already overcome the trauma.

"I was always afraid of doing it with someone my age and ending up in an awkward situation where we both wouldn't know what to do." You confessed, still stroking his beard and Stephen noticed how much he liked feeling the touch of your hands on him.

"I think it's very difficult for a guy your age to still be a virgin, sweetheart. The risk was practically zero."

"But they wouldn't be like you." You insisted and your face flushed again "You're very experienced and although I don't like thinking about you with other women, I like the fact that you know what you're doing, it makes me feel safer."

He nodded. What impressed Stephen, besides the fact that you were a virgin at age 21, was that you had almost no sexual experience besides watching porn and touching yourself.

"You made me feel very safe while you were..."

"Going down on you" He finished for you and you nodded.

"I didn't imagine it would be so good. I mean, I've read about it, I've seen it in the movies, but nothing prepared me for reality."

Stephen smiled broadly. "I'm not going to be modest about it and say it's always like this. Most men have a hard time satisfying a woman this way."

"But not you." You said and pulled him to your lips and Stephen let himself be guided by the intensity of your kiss. So inexperienced, but kissed like a whore. He thought and quickly scolded himself.

You hummed adorably at his lips and then broke the kiss and said simply "I want to touch you now."

His cock pulsed in his pants at that, but he tried hard to reason with you.

"Are you sure? You know you don't have to do this just because I did it to you."

You nodded "I know. I want to. I want to see you the same way you saw me and pleasure you to hear you moaning too."

Stephen couldn't help but smile and comment, "You're going to have to be really good to make me moan, sweetheart. Do you think you can do that?"

You blushed heavily but were firm in your response "I learn fast, you just need to teach me how to do it."

Another twitch in his cock and this time it didn't go unnoticed by you. You lowered your hand that was resting on his chest and touched his dick through his pants.

"It's so... hard." You said

"Because of you. Your innocence leaves me like this." He confessed.

"I'm not innocent." You protested to which he chuckled.

"Maybe not in other things, but in this you are."

His cock started to throb again and you looked at him in surprise, but didn't say anything. It was as if you knew that asking anything would prove his point.

"Hard is good. It's exactly how you want me. And this..." His cock twitched again "It's also because of you, it shows how much I want you."

You were blushing, but a proud smile played on your lips.

He watched you move your hand lightly over his erection and then your fingers threatened to go inside his pants, but you stopped confirming "Can I?"

"Yes." He said and his voice sounded shaky with excitement. Stephen had fantasized about this so many times.

You put your hand inside his pants and seemed surprised to notice that he wasn't wearing any underwear. He never wore underwear when he got dressed to sleep, in fact when it was hot he even wore clothes to sleep.  To his surprise, the brief moment of hesitation was replaced by the impulse to touch him, and you grabbed him in your hand and started moving up and down, probably imitating what you had seen in the movies. The sudden stimulation made a small moan escape his lips and you smiled victoriously.

"Brat" He said biting his lower lip and surrendering to your touch. "Wait, let me take this off, you need to see what you're doing."

You moved your hand away enough for him to free himself from his pants and then your eyes feasted on his thighs and finally settled on his cock.

"You can touch me however you want now." He said

You held it firmly in your hand and moved it up and down slowly and he had the feeling that that was pretty much all you knew how to do. The stimulation was delicious. For someone who had had no sexual stimulation other than his own hand for six months, any foreign touch was enough, but he wanted just so much more.

He moved his fingers quickly conjuring up a bottle of lube and explained "Here, sweetheart. You lube naturally, but I need this. Give me your hand."

You turned your palm upwards and waited for him to pour some of the clear gel. He was not modest in quantity. Stephen liked a lot of lubrication.

"Now you can do what you were doing, but it will feel much better."

You nodded, grabbing his cock again and slowly moving it up and down, letting the lube spread over his entire length making a delicious squelching sound.

"Make sure to touch the head when your hand goes up. Here..." He showed his frenulum to you "It's very sensitive, I like it when I'm touched here."

You nodded, completely concentrated on his explanation and started to raise your hand further to touch where he had shown you, a wrinkle of concentration formed between your eyebrows and Stephen found it adorable. His cock throbbed in your hand again and a loud moan escaped through his teeth.

"Shit, love. You’re a fast learner."

You smiled happily at the compliment "Can I use both hands? I saw it in a movie and the guy seemed to like it."

Stephen nodded. "Give me the other hand, let's get some more of this."

You did as he asked and then grabbed him with both hands stroking him nice but very lightly.

"You can use a little more force, sweetheart." He instructed and his voice sounded shaky.

"I don't want to hurt you. I know it’s very sensitive."

He smiled widely. You were so sweet, he was basking in your inexperience and there was no reason for him to hide how much he was enjoying the whole thing.

"Not that sensitive. You can squeeze a little more. I'll like it. Isn't that what you want? To make me feel good?"

"Yes." You said biting your bottom lip while tightening the grip of your hand around him and for a minute the only sound that could be heard was the wet squelching of your hands on his dick and the heavy breathing followed by moans that he couldn't control. .

"So fucking good... these little hands feel amazing, sweetheart."

You smile "Really?"

"So, so good. I've fantasized about this moment so many times..."

You bit your lip, looking undecided whether to say something or not.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Is it okay if I put it in my mouth? I've never done this, but I'd like to try."

Stephen moaned loudly "Wanna give me a blow job?"

You nodded. "But I do not know how..."

He moaned loudly and his hips jumped against your hand. At that point, Stephen didn't know if he would last long.

He cupped your cheek gently and ran his thumb across your lips, forcing you to separate them. "Open it for me." He asked, placing his thumb inside your mouth when you obeyed. He left his finger on your tongue collecting saliva and forcing you to swallow around it and when you did he closed his eyes and imagined the feeling of it around his dick.

"Suck it." He ordered and you obeyed, sucking his finger slowly.  You were so good at following orders, so sweet and so obedient. Something about it all was revealing a side of Stephen that even he didn't know and he was enjoying it.

"See how easy it is? Now let's try to do the same thing but on my cock." He took his finger out of your mouth and grabbed his dick and directed it to your mouth.

"Open it big for me." He asked and you did exactly as he said.

Stephen smiled, placing just the head in your mouth. "You're going to suck it like it's a lollipop. Don't use your teeth, just your lips and tongue."

You seemed lost at first, the sweet taste of the lube wasn't exactly ideal, but it was better than saliva, at least at first. Deep down he was dreaming of seeing you going dirty, spitting on his cock without fear of making a mess.

A wrinkle of confusion appeared between your eyebrows, but you continued sucking his head slowly.

"Now use your tongue, you can flick it around my cock, it feels really nice."

You did exactly as he asked, eliciting a surprised groan from his throat when the tip of your tongue flicked onto his frenulum. "Shit, you learn so fast, sweetheart."

You took it out of your mouth to breathe and smiled proudly at him as he couldn't help but tease you. "You like being praised, don't you? Does it make you feel good?"

To his delight you blushed heavily making his cock pulse in your hand.

"See? That's how much I want you. Because you are so fucking special to me..."

He was interrupted when you leaned in to give him a hard kiss that took his breath away and then you put his cock in your mouth again and without him needing to teach you, you started using your hand around what you couldn't take and Stephen grabbed the sheets with one hand while he brought the other to your head, threading his fingers through your hair. You let out a sweet moan of approval around his cock and he had to control himself not to push your head or thrust against your mouth. Stephen liked to be rough when given oral, most of the time he forced deep throat because he loved cumming deep in their throats, but he could never do that to you. At least not yet and definitely not without your consent.

"Fuck... twist your hand while you move it up and down, sweetheart and keep using your tongue, give me a hard suck on the head... just like that... yeah, use your tongue just like that."

You followed each of his instructions masterfully which was quickly taking him to his limit and when he noticed how you started to moan while sucking him, how your legs started to rub against each other, clearly feeling pleasure while giving him pleasure, he knew he couldn't hold on much longer.

"Wait, sweetheart... stop, please." He moved his hand down to your chin and gently pulled your mouth away from his dick.

You seemed a little confused "Why? I thought I was enjoying it. Did I do something wrong?"

He chuckled nervously "I was, I am...very much." He ran say a little embarrassed. "I don't want to finish in your mouth. It's your first time and it might be a little gross." 

He saw the realization on your face immediately and then you stared at his cock with a newfound curiosity.

"What does it taste like?"

Stephen smiled "To be honest, I don't know. It's salty. Most women don't like it."

You frowned, "I'm not most women."

"Of course not. You're my sweetheart." He said and watched you blush again. He would never get tired of it.

You went back to holding his cock, stroking it lightly up and down, being careful to touch the head as he explained and watched him twitching.

"I want to see you finish." You confessed.

He nodded "Just use your hands then."

"But will they be enough?" You asked increasing your grip again while stroking his cock.

Stephen groaned through his teeth.

"Of course. These sweet tiny hands are more than enough."

You smiled watching Stephen surrender completely to your touch. You were learning a lot that night and one of the things you enjoyed most was the sweet noises he made when he felt pleasure. It was hard to imagine such a stoic man making those sounds and your chest filled with pride knowing that you were responsible for leaving him like that.

He kept one hand firmly on the sheets and the other found a home on the back of your neck. His eyes were glued to yours, his cock was so hard and red and wet pulsing in your hand. You didn't stop or reduce the stimulation, remembering perfectly what he had explained to you. You wanted to see him finish.

"Oh, fuck sweetheart... I'm so close... just do it faster and don't stop." His baritone voice was even sexier when covered in lust like that.

"I won't stop" You promised moving your hands faster and harder and finally getting what you wanted. Seeing the magic happening before your eyes.

He moaned loudly, his jaw became rigid, his legs shook and cum began to squirt from the tip of his dick, spilling over your hand, entering between your fingers and making a mess in his stomach.

"Oh shit... oh fuck sweetheart." He muttered through clenched teeth and then pulled you to his lips and kissed you hard.

You kissed until you couldn't breathe and when he broke the kiss he smiled almost shyly.

"Shit, look at this. I made a fucking mess, sweetie."

"You get a dirty mouth when you're horny." You teased and he let out a small laugh.

"Good point. Does it bother you?"

You shook your head "No. Actually, I liked it." You said, observing the puddle of cum on his stomach and then looked at your hand, seeing the sticky, whitish liquid running through your fingers. You could smell it, it wasn't bad, it was just different and suddenly you were struck by a burning curiosity and the next thing you knew you were bringing your hand to your mouth and running your tongue between your fingers. You didn't know the look on your face when you tasted it, but Stephen smiled in disbelief, and you knew he was loving it just like he had loved everything else.

"It's salty and something else. It's not good, but it's not bad either. It's... strange."

"I don't think there's a better word to describe it." He teased moving his fingers and conjuring a damp towel with which he began to gently wipe your hands.

"It's the first time I've seen a woman taste my cum like it was a foreign dessert and I admit it was sexy as hell."

You felt your face getting hot which made his smile widen even more. He used the towel to clean himself and then got rid of it in the same way he conjured it and touched your cheek affectionately. "You're giving me so many firsts." He said contemplatively and then kissed you again. He pulled you on top of him and made you snuggle into his chest. With a flick of his fingers he dressed you and he and you laugh softly.

"I'll never get used to this."

He hummed "Yes you will because I will do this all the time and I will be by your side all the time.”

"Promise?"

He kissed the top of your head and held you in his arms.

"Promise."

You were silent for a minute listening to nothing but each other's breathing. It was you who broke the silence.

"Don't you think this is all very silly for you? I mean, we're together and we haven't even had sex yet and you're an experienced man..."

"There's only so many times you can say that to me without making me feel old." He warned making you laugh softly.

"I like my men older." You teased.

"Man. Your man you mean."

You smirked "Yes, sir."

Stephen sighed and you closed your eyes, reveling in the feeling of his hand rubbing your arm.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm loving every minute we spend together, sweetheart. You're making me live so many new experiences and I love you for that. There's nothing silly about this."

You smiled "Okay."

"There's just one problem, young lady."

You turned to look at him and there was a cute smile on his lips.

“Which is?”

"I want to come here every night from now on."

"I won't object to that."

He smirked and you rolled to the side on the bed and he was quick to pull you close so you were cuddled into his chest.

Reblog please! Leave a comment if you liked it. Interact! I will love to read all of your comments and opinions. It inspires me to keep writing!

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[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 48 (He Had Him At Hello, Bromance Edition)

Leaving her friends in Old New Henford after dark, Heather, Ash, and Conrad returned to her childhood home with her parents.

They found River and Cassandra still in their work clothes, the two having spent most of the evening trying to get their infant son to sleep. "Doctor Scott says its a phase, it'll pass, but when he doesn't sleep well, we don't sleep well," lamented River. "These days we're thrilled if he sleeps for more than two hours at a time."

Conrad already felt at ease around her siblings, and Heather left them chatting upstairs while her parents showed her the new plants in their always impressive garden. When Michael woke up fussy, she soothed him back to sleep to give his tired parents a break.

Upstairs, River studied Conrad with keen interest. His sister's taste in men had always been a little...off, and he wanted to be sure this one deserved her. "Driving between San Myshuno and Brindleton Bay must not be easy."

"We make it work," said Conrad. "We're waiting for me to get a transfer, but all that driving can be pretty tiring."

"Sometimes I dance just to keep myself awake," said Cass, grooving a little to the music. "Since I left the art studio to help my mother-in-law with her floral business, it's been a bit easier working from home. I never realized the artistry involved in floral arranging, but I can be just as creative with a bouquet of flowers as I can with a palette of acrylics!"

Conrad couldn't relate, but he empathized with their lack of sleep. "I don't know much about raising kids, but Ash likes a story I tell him that my mom used to read to me when I was a kid. The Giving Tree."

"I love that story," Cassandra mused. "I think I saw a copy at the bookstore in the square."

River nodded. "I'll try anything. I'll pick up a copy tomorrow." Despite his fatigue, River's wall crumbled as he got to know Conrad. "What made you think our sister was worth risking your career?"

The question was sincere. Conrad had asked himself the same thing a thousand times. "At first I thought it was because her son needed her more than the Landgraabs needed a win, but then they dropped the charges and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I booked a vet appointment four hours out of the way just to run into her again."

"Why didn't you ask her out, then?"

"River, stop interrogating him," Hazel pushed, but Conrad smiled.

"I wanted to, but I knew she'd been through a lot and I wanted her to be sure she was ready. I sort of knew it would be it for me if I knew she was interested."

"It's a good thing Holly intervened," said Hazel, smiling. "You might still be waiting for her, otherwise."

River grinned. "He definitely would be."

Hazel left to meet Nicola and some friends at the Gnome's Arms, and River and Cassandra finally changed and sat down to dinner. Because they could know no peace, Ash talked their ear off about dinosaurs. "Conerd say t-rex no swim, we safe," he babbled. "T-rex roar!"

"You know there were less scary dinosaurs," River said. "Smaller ones who ate plants. Also big ones. Like brontosaurus."

Ash listened with intense curiosity. "Bront-so-us?"

"Yeah, they were even bigger than your dad's apartment."

Cassandra stifled a laugh. "River, hush."

They were interrupted when Michael woke again from his nap, wailing from the bedroom. With her plate still full of food, Cass left to tend to her son as Heather walked into the kitchen. "We should probably head out. It'll still be an hour on the Simmerloop at this time of night, and we should get Ash to bed before midnight."

Cassandra brought Michael outside for their goodbyes, but the fussy infant didn't last long in the cool autumn air.

River, meanwhile, had found a new best friend in Conrad. "When I found out my sister was dating a cop I wasn't sure what to think, but now I'm pretty confident you've never played bad cop in your life."

Conrad shrugged. "I mean, I don't see the point. It doesn't get me to the truth any faster. But I admire what you and your father do. Building green infrastructure for your community is just as important as what I do."

River laughed. "Please, don't flatter me. You deal with hardened criminals like my sister."

Daisy turned to Heather as they watched River bond with Conrad. "Riv grew up with a house full of sisters, but I think he always secretly wanted a brother."

When Conrad left to get the car, River turned to Heather. "I recognize the way he looks at you, and he's not going anywhere unless you tell him to. I know you like to think you're better off single, protecting your independence, but he's the guy who's perfect for you. You and Conrad finding each other is one in a million, like the day I met Cassandra. He's your Cassandra."

(Can confirm, Jane Simsten's Soulmates mod kicked in for these two way back on the night they ran into each other with Holly and Kris in San Myshuno, but Heather's unflirty and she's been burned in the past, so it's had to be this way. I'm sorry!)

River's beautiful wife gazed at him with love while he spoke. They were so sweet together, and their love used to make Heather feel like she was missing out. Now she had Conrad, who was as close to perfect as anyone she'd ever met, and she couldn't shake her insecurities.

"I know raising Ash with his father isn't easy and you're afraid to get hurt again," River said. "But that is a guy who's waiting for you to say 'I love you' so he can say it, too."

Neal frowned. "Huck, you don't know that. Don't test your sister's emotions-"

"I do know that, and I'd die on Old Mill Hill defending that take!"

"He makes me so happy," Heather admitted. "But what if he moves in and I find out he's a criminal mastermind masquerading as a detective?"

"Then you're even more perfect for each other than I thought."

Heather couldn’t deny her feelings for Conrad, as afraid as she was to put them into words and make them real.

Despite her fears, she was grateful for her family's approval, and she embraced her brother warmly when Conrad brought his car around. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

NOTE: This got it's own post because Conrad and River literally said hello to each other and were basically best friends (they became official best friends later, when it mattered for Conrad's Friend of the World aspiration. tbh by then I thought they already were but either something glitched or broke with the Lovestruck patches or I never bothered and forgot). Their instant bromance felt so right - River looks up to his older sister and wants the best for her even though he can't help but tease her, and he and Conrad are both responsible guys focused on bettering their communities. It's a perfect match and I loved this development.

[katzirra]

Been struggling with energy again lately... feeling worn down and tired I think it's the mental strain of everything at this point. I'm booking appointments with my doctor two or three times a month and being confused about the conflict of things looking good on paper but not in my body actions.

My diet needs to improve but my guts are angry at volume of foods, types of foods, TIMES of foods... the acid reflux and heart burn for most things despite how early in the day I eat them is disheartening to me...

My MRI came back concerning to my doctor so they sent them to a specialist at KU Med and they're gonna call me to schedule stuff for a tissue thing sample and probably surgery. I'm just feeling tired.

Like this all started because I wanted to get back on a medication I was on for weight loss and figured my weight was the issue with my periods being absent. And it's just been this cascading shit around my uterus and sticking a pin in my weight and stuff so to speak...

I'm ao tired. I just want to stop being TIRED. I like go to do art lately and I'm so overwhelmed with the background noise I can't do anything. I'm THRUMMING with anxiety about my life. I hate it.

[captain-aralias]

Life update

TL;DR - currently still pregnant at 21 weeks, baby is currently ok.

but spent the last 3 days in hospital, getting surgery to try and stop baby coming dangerously early. now back to being WORRIED ALL THE TIME.

if you want to read about that, i've written a post just to get it all out. it's quite bleak, even though we are hoping for the best.

triggers in the below: pregnancy, miscarriage, other death

so yes! it's been a weird week.

started really well - i started taking liquid iron and felt GREAT, shockingly good to the extent that i assumed it was a placebo effect and not actually my body. this is not relevant to the rest of the story, just that i was feeling really confident, not tired for the first time in ages, having a good time.

wednesday - i got a text from the NHS saying i had an appointment the next day. again, so confident was i feeling about pregnancy that my reaction was to be pissed off. no i didn't have an appointment, this was my week of no appointments!!! i was going to go into work for one of my mandatory two days in the office, wtf.

a physical letter arrived at my house a few hours after this and confirmed that i did indeed have an appointment i'd never heard of. the only information about what it was were the words 'obstetrics f/up.' eventually i realised f/up meant 'follow up', rather than 'fuck up', but i was still pretty much in the dark about what it would be.

but i went along anyway, rather than cancelling in a fit of pique because i HAPPENED to have the lunchtime of the next day free. i did not go into work.

the appointment turned out to be .... a scan, performed by a doctor rather than the normal sonographer. i actually had been told that they would try and book something like this at my.... obstetrics appointment, hence the name. the reason for booking in this appointment was that every time i go for a scan, baby is not willing to move around so it has been hard to get all the views that are necessary. and also i've had IVF.

again, i thought - this is probably a waste of time. i'm a low risk patient! i just have IVF because i'm queer, i'm actually dead good at pregnancy. but hey ho.

and indeed, first time doctor scanned me, baby refused to move. went outside, drank some water, she scanned someone else, i went back - they scanned me again. declared baby is fine! doesn't even have a short leg like we were worried about before, brill. but...

i seem to have a short cervix. that could cause early delivery. maybe we should scan me the other way to confirm. but she has to scan someone else first.

this is - as you may guess - where the story gets bad. although i didn't guess that yet. i thought - early delivery? no problem. you mean, like 2 weeks or something, cool. i've already booked my maternity leave to start 2 weeks early.

NO. it means - like, any time from now. even though baby will literally die if born now.

scan confirms that cervix is 1mm, instead of the 25mm+ that is usually no cause to worry.

doctor says - you need to go to labour ward now and probably get surgery, and stay over night.

i'm still living in cloud cuckoo land at this point, so my brain is like - stay over night? but i have one-time only dinner plans at fortnum and mason tonight (a true story, a gift from my partner's rich eccentric mother).

we go over to the labour ward - at which point, my brain starts to point out that this is not good. we're put in a birthing suite to wait for someone to come and talk to us. usually, i would be texting my friend who is also a resident of the same town and due to have her baby 2 weeks before me (OR MAYBE NOT) but i guess this is where it hits me that i might never get to the bit where we are in the birthing suite.

basically from this point onwards, i cried at least several times per day until saturday. midwives kept trying to comfort me. the next doctor they brought to talk to me and my partner (fortunately with me) basically acted like he was telling me i had terminal cancer (i do not have terminal cancer). he wanted me to know that the baby might still die even if we do the surgery, and also that doing the surgery might also break my waters, and then they'd recommend terminating as i'm only 21 weeks pregnant, and babies usually don't survive earlier than 24 weeks. even then - that's very premature.

there was some suggestion they might be able to do the surgery THAT DAY, but it didn't work out. so we were transferred to the antenatal ward, given a (different) private room, and my partner was sent home to get my stuff. she came back and stayed the night in the single bed - not as fun as the fanfic makes it look! particularly because even though we were off the main ward, we could still hear.... people in labour. and babies - like the one we might not have - crying. and beeping - lots of beepings.

also - one of my friends came to pick up my car, which i'd left on the street back when i thought that the appointment would be maximum 2 hours. i was vvv upset about the baby, but my brain wouldn't shut up about the car either. WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO THE CAR. until it was gone, and then it was 100% baby panic.

monitoring of blood pressure and temperature too, so - should you get to sleep, you will definitely be woken at 2am and 6am. amazing.

cut to the next day - no food, little water. a bunch of drugs, no surgery until 3.30. surgery includes being completely numb from waist down, which is great (genuinely). as well as pain relief, this really decreases the humiliation of being in a room with 10 people all looking up your hospital gown while you can't control your bodily functions.

the surgeon had come in for like 5 minutes earlier and this is not an exaggeration of our conversation:

him: you're having this surgery, it had a 50% chance of failing to get you to full term even if we do put the stitch in successfully, sign this consent form please no offence lovely NHS, genuinely amazing throughout this whole situation, but this is the first time anyone had said 50% chance of failure.

me: [signs form, since has no choice really] him: any questions? me: er... him: [literally already out the door, genuinely did not wait for an answer] midwife [still there, apologetic] as you can see, they're very busy. if you have questions, best to write them down and just say them loudly when you get the chance

everyone else in the theatre was super nice. although also kept asking me about the baby i was convinced i might lose within the surgery (do you know the gender? what are you going to call him?). surgery went ok. very quick. did NOT lose the baby ... at that point. but couldn't stop crying as soon as i got out.

still numb for 6 hours. catheter horrible. spent 2 hours in the recovery ward - still no food allowed - under a weird inflatable blanket. wheeled back to the antenatal ward.

this time, we were on the main ward - although it was pretty quiet because they don't schedule people in for stuff on saturdays. just two women there - both waiting for emergency c-section the next day.

while i was glad neither were in labour, it was still super awkward and upsetting to be on the ward with them. sound carried really well, so we heard all their consultations, including a bit where one of them had to describe her previous history of pregnancy, which included having twins - one of whom DIED. omg. cue - another crying fit for self.

seriously - my overall feeling coming out of this was how amazing the NHS is, how amazing it was that the doctor caught my cervix the day before it opened fully during a random scan for something else (because my cervix was fully open during the surgery, 24 hours after the scan. vv bad) the midwives were so lovely, the nurses were so lovely. they gave me loads of great drugs too (progesterone - my old friend from IVF), which will hopefully keep contractions away, in addition to the stitch.

BUT.... it was pretty hellish to be incredibly emotional and stuck in hospital listening to this stuff for 2 days, unable to sleep. very very likely some of the worst days of my life so far.

i'm back home, as of yesterday, which is amazing. slept a full night, and i'm 2 days out of surgery. the symptoms of the surgery failing are all things that i am feeling right now - like.... pain. contractions (is this a contraction, or is this the baby moving??) and maybe your waters breaking, which could happen slowly so how do you know it's not happening RIGHT NOW.

so - basically, i am still not in a good place emotionally, even though we haven't lost the baby yet. i realised that as well as just.... the very fact of the possible death of a baby we have given a name to (we couldn't use the name again for another baby, could we?) ... i think i'm also in shock for the idea of the life i thought i was going to have this year. i've booked my maternity leave, i was getting into baby mode - starting to largely only want to read baby books, etc. thinking about buying the wrap-top from the advert i watch every time i go into hospital where you can put your baby inside the top and have them skin-to-skin.

and the idea of baby dying and then having to go back to work, my friend having her baby 2 weeks ahead of when i should have had mine... it's just awful. i want the baby, i want to go on maternity leave.

baby coming early but still within a viable window (so - hold on another 3+ weeks) doesn't worry me so much, though is worrying my partner in terms of possible developmental issues of pre-term children. i probably just can't conceptualise this, because my brain is thinking 'well, at least there would be a baby.'

so - that's where we are. doctors and internet both agree bedrest isn't really necessary or helpful, but i have my drugs + antibiotics. 22 weeks is on tuesday. 24 weeks (so viable but very premature baby) - 7th february.

if we make it through february, we'll be in the third trimester, and start to get some good rates of survival if baby comes early.

me to baby (proposed middle name: alexander) every few hours:

heard lots of stories of things being ok and people getting to full term (or close enough) from friends and midwives, one of the trainees literally said this had happened to her. this partly reassures me, and also makes me think - surely that means there must be a need for people to be in the BAD 60-40% to make up the statistics, and that could be me. (i know that's not how statistics works, it's how my brain works).

final doctor - a completely different person to any of the others in this story - told me i likely have a good chance because i have no history of cervical damage, to the extent that they aren't sure why this has happened to me. but the internet told me that it's less likely to be ok if the cervix opened (which mine did), so maybe.......

and maybe these pains are bad pains, rather than i was cut open pains. and maybe my water is breaking.........

in conclusion - i'll be a basketcase for the next few weeks, probably. and then possibly very sad. or possibly it will be some form of all right.

no need to respond to this post, if you got this far! in fact, i might prefer it - i turned off comments on my (much shorter) version of this on twitter as it's all too upsetting. but wanted to let people know, and also record for posterity while i felt a bit more with it/less sad.

likes are ok, even though obviously there's not much to like - except the NHS!! and my friend who took my car home.

this post is also why i probably won't do the 15 questions post that's going around, because it talks about 'when did you last cry' and children, even though we all know the answers to that now. i just don't want this shit in a normal happy meme post.

anyway - hope everyone else is having a nice weekend, and making and/or consuming good art <3

[squarejaww]

Chronic Pain Is Such A Trip

A little background - I was diagnosed with scoliosis in the 5th grade, but was not treated for it until I was a sophomore in high school. This saw me going to the nearest Shriner's hospital, where I was fitted for a wretched plaster-cast back brace that was fitted from under the armpits to over my hips at sweet 16. It was horrible. And, from pressing insistently on my right hip, so fully killed the nerves there that I can't feel it to this day.

I moved through my teen years and into my adult life trying to manage this condition as best as I could on my own. According to the Shriner's doctor when I was a teen, any attempt at corrective surgery would be considered not medically necessary and purely cosmetic. So I should be able to live a fully happy life, yeah? No issues.

Except that the curvature progressed into the severe category, until I eventually got updated xrays in my late 20s that revealed the full extent of my situation, which was an S curve with a twist, a result of degenerative disc disease, spina bifida, and scoliosis. As someone who had been managing on my own with a strict pain medication management plan with my doctor, it was recommended that I pursue surgery. It took years, but eventually, I was able to have the surgery and Harrington Rods were installed in my back.

The surgery was traumatic. The healing process was traumatic. But, eventually, I recovered. That was four years ago.

The pain has returned in a whole new way. I've been going to the gym, eating better, managing with ibuprofen, and trying to do everything that my physical therapist has instructed me to do over the years. But some days, it's so bad that I physically cannot get myself out of bed. I tried urgent care and went to see a doctor, who referred me to a pain clinic. Guess what they did?

They photocopied some book covers, told me I was basically imagining the pain, and said I should get on antidepressants before shoving me, sobbing hysterically, out of the door. It was traumatizing and I refused to go to another doctor again.

That was two years ago. When it was bad enough again that I had to go home from work a coupla weeks ago, I finally scheduled an appointment with a new doctor. With updated xrays. Guess what they informed me?

There's degenerative tearing in my neck.

Holy shit, I'm not crazy. I was over the moon. Even if there was nothing to be done about the pain, at least it was good to know that I wasn't imagining the whole ordeal. I had them forward the report to my physical therapist, so that he could go over the documents with me.

He reported to me that nothing was wrong. According to the report, I was perfectly fine. In fact, his degenerative tearing was probably worse than mine, according to him.

To say that hearing this was devastating is... an understatement. He looked at me like I was imagining the whole thing. And so now I'm more confused and angry than ever. I don't know what to do with this information, especially considering I'm in between doctor's appointments while we try and figure out what is wrong with me, which I hurt constantly, and how we can fix it. (Cherry on top was phys therapist pointing out all my shitty posture and the like as I walked away. It was really hard not to cry)

I'm so tired of being in pain all the time.

[fictionplumis]

Some progress has been made!

I saw a Cardiologist yesterday and almost broke my "did not cry during a doctor's appointment" streak. (We are up to 3 now, woot!)

So basically, my heart is doing one of two things. Either it's going, "I need to emulate my hero and savior Sonic the Hedgehog," and is always beating so fast for no legitimate reason. Like with POTS. Or it's going, "Oh shit, this place is fucked, I gotta beat faster to make sure all the blood goes to the right places." This would be my heart reacting to another factor in the body and feeling like it's necessary to speed up, like if I had some underlying rheumatalogical condition.

I already knew things like POTS could really fuck up your system, and I've never been officially diagnosed but I've been pretty sure I've had it since high school, when I mentioned to my mom that I get tunnel vision everytime I stand up and she immediately took me to get an MRI. I didn't think it would make just existing doing the bare minimum to live such a hell.

Anyway, he's putting me on meds to slow my heart down. Either these meds will work and I'll feel weird for a bit and then start feeling better as my body adjusts, meaning it IS my heart deciding to go 130 BMP for funsies while I'm doing literally nothing, or the meds will work but I'll feel much, much worse because my heart does, in fact, need to go that fast because this place is fucked.

And by this place, I mean my body.

Now, he did mention working out! He explained that he would usually start treatments for something like this without medication first, but unlike the rheumatologist, he took my struggles seriously and said that since simple, daily tasks are such a struggle, and my heart rate is so high at rest, the medication needs to come first so I can get to the point that I CAN start low effort physical therapy.

He also asked if I had researched my symptoms online and if there was anything I've found or heard of that I felt matched my symptoms best, which god fucking bless dude, that's one hell of a green flag for a doctor.

The hardest part about dealing with doctors for me is that I have this defense mechanism where I am "an open book" and speak honestly and openly about my struggles, but in a very friendly and humorous tone. Like, "I'm so emotionally exhausted that I can't concentrate on much anymore. I've beaten Baldur's Gate like twelve times because I know everything that happens and it's low effort now. I'm so tired of playing Baldur's Gate, man." It's true! My tone usually implies humor and a joke, and I guess that makes people go, "Oh, things are difficult for her but she's okay enough to make light of them."

And I don't know how to not do that?

Even the nice doctors that took me "seriously" still didn't seem to quite understand the full scope of me saying, "I haven't left the house for eight months for anything but doctor's appointments. I haven't seen my friends in eight months. My family goes to eat dinner without me and brings me home lukewarm, soggy food in a takeout container. I've had to stop my sewing projects because my arm gets tired so quick holding down a sewing pattern that I can't trace around it without taking a break, and then the pattern gets misaligned and I get frustrated and start crying. I'm on antidepressants because I can't do any of my hobbies, I have nothing to distract me from this hell where simply reaching up for a cup in the cabinet feels like a herculean task, my room is a mess because I can't clean it up, and I was crying three to four times a day. Now I only cry once or twice a week. I am scared, and lonely, and everyone in my house works full time so it's hard for them to help, and I try not to ask them for much. When I do need to ask for help, I often spend a few hours having an anxiety attack before working up the nerve, and if they say no, I feel guilty for immediately bursting into tears over it and making them feel bad about it. My hair looks awful because I usually keep it short but I can't go through the effort of getting dressed and leaving the house for a haircut, so I took a pair of scissors to it in a Britney Spears style meltdown and you know what? She had the right idea!"

I guess something in my tone just implies hyperbole? Or maybe I don't come across as distressed enough while saying it, so they think it can't be possibly be this awful, life-ruining thing? Unfortunately, breaking down crying doesn't convince them either, I've tried that already. So IDK how to get doctors to understand what I'm feeling.

This guy, though?

I front of his two student shadows, this motherfucker, who is the softest spoken person I've ever met, by the way, leans over his knees and looks me dead in the eye to say, "I want you to know that you're an amazing person. I can't imagine the kind of strength it takes to deal with this for as long as you have with no answers, and still be pushing yourself to come to appointments like this when everything is so difficult for you. If this is cardiac related, I want you to know that we're going to figure this out and get you back out there in the world. At your age, you should be out with your friends, having fun and living your life, not isolated and struggling like this. Do you have a support group? Who all is in it?"

Man. There is something about sincere compassion and genuine concern that hits right to the core, and I could barely keep myself from bursting into tears.

For all my jaded bullshit with the doctors and the American medical system, sometimes you end up finding a gem.

So either these new pills will work and in the next couple of months I can start a long path to recovery, or they won't but I'll be able to tell every other specialist I see that we 100% know my fast heart rate is a symptom of something else, not everything else being a symptom of a cardiac issue.

[jerzwriter]

If PB did make Tobias an LI how do you think they would have done it? And how would you have wanted them to do it? Do you think they would’ve done that route justice or would they have done it more as a thrown together last minute thing with not much thought or development?

-

Personally I kinda liked the tension at the doctors softball game and then he helped save her and that made her see him in a different way and (then I head cannoned) she sometimes visited Aurora while she worked at the other hospital when mc was off bc they didn’t always have the same hours and she would see Tobias and they would both stare at one another and then one day Aurora would be like do you like him and then it would go from there OR mc and Tobias hasn’t interacted since he helped save mc but when Leland put Tobias on the team she was nervous around him and she didn’t really understand why but when they had to work more cases together and sometimes two on two she realized she has feelings from him and that freaked her out and didn’t say anything but they still got close and they stared to hang out some while not on cases and then one day Tobias admits he was scared when Aurora told him what happened to mc during the attack when they all thought she was going to die and then they eventually told each other they had feelings for one another

I have no idea if any of this made any sense I am tired af but was scrolling tumblr and saw some oph stuff that made me think of this, delete/ignore if this made no sense omg that was so long 😂

You made perfect sense - lol don't worry!

Honestly, while I always say it was a sin that we didn't get him as an LI, I have no doubt in my mind that if PB had done it, they would have done a horrible job. Especially in the debacle that was Book 3.

I think they could have had SUCH a good storyline if they had added him as an LI in 3. Can you imagine the tension between him and Ethan? Even if you were not on the Ethan route, he still would have lost his mind at Tobias being with "his" intern. It was such a juicy story right there, so, of course, PB blew it. lol But again, I'm almost glad they skipped it because it probably would have sucked.

I like both of your HCs very much! In my main HC, they meet in the deli, just like canon, but sparks fly right away. They start dating shortly after, and they're crazy about each other - much to Tobias's dismay because he's usually not this into anyone - then he steals Stephanie (per canon), and Casey calls things off. He contacts her and tries to make amends, but she tells him she needs time. Then she and Ethan go to Kenmore to steal Ferrugia, and she sees questionable texts from June on his phone (in my HC, he was not still seeing June at this point, but Casey is led to believe he his). So she dumps him in dramatic fashion. lol

The only reason Tobias got a 2nd chance in my HC is because of the attack. After, she agreed they could be friends, but nothing more. But for many reasons (too long to go into here lol), she feels comfortable with him. So he would take her to her therapy appointments (because in my HC, she didn't rebound from that attack in a day like in canon lol), and he'd take her out once a week - as friends. They both fall for each other - everyone can see it - except these 2 idiots. Since he promised her they'd just be friends, he doesn't want to go back on her word, and Casey's too afraid to say anything. So they almost don't get together - but then they do (I'm in the process of writing that last part now.)

Tobias was criminally underutilized in canon. Even if he were not an LI, they could have done so much more with him. Once again, PB was disappointed. :(

Thanks for the ask! I'm always willing to ramble aimlessly about Tobias! lol

[rabbitindisguise]

I'm having a really rough time, and I'm so stressed out. I feel like I'm in the middle of finals week, which sucks because I was hoping I'd never have to feel like that again. There's just so many things piling up and I can barely even keep myself alive frankly. The impending disability hearing is hanging over me like a ticking time bomb and my SNAP was discontinued and wasn't reinstated despite me doing the paperwork because I wasn't able to see the letter because I was traveling . . . We have to talk about housing for the next year . . . there's like a billion things I need to do like return a coat at the post office which is so hard and I have to return the library books and call people to get an appointment and get things sorted out with EBT. I'm worried my doctor won't give me the form for my loan dismissal and it'll wreck my credit for years or even garnish my SSI (15%) if I even do get it. And then on top of that I have to worry about what I should do if my laptop breaks or my phone breaks.

I'm just so tired. I spent 12 hours socializing yesterday. I still have to get groceries and eat and bathe and all those things like it doesn't feel like the world isn't one inch from ending all the time. I don't know how people do any of this.

I honestly don't even know if I should go out tonight. I don't even want to climb at this point. It's not like I can do anything about the stuff I need to do today, I was on hold a bunch and I wasn't even able to go out and get my general aid and deposit it because for some reason it won't let me do that stuff online, and I can't use the same ATM.

[cnlyfans]

      she  was  absolutely  right  ;  every  point  she  was  trying  to  make  landing  exactly  as  it  should  ,  nailing  his  coffin  shut  each  time  her  lips  parted  to  say  something  more  .  and  as  tired  as  she  was  of  being  disappointed  ,  he  was  equally  as  exhausted  being  the  one  to  let  her  down  .  "  juliette  ,  i  have  clients  with  real  legal  matters  .  sometimes  it's  not  as  simple  as  calling  out  sick  or  telling  my  assistant  to  clear  my  schedule  .  there  are  deadlines  ,  court  dates  ,  plea  deals  .  what  you  consider  a  few  hours  away  from  the  office  , they  consider  a  thin  line  between  going  to  prison  or  home  to  their  families  .  "  his  shoulders  slump  as  he  leans  forward  to  rest  his  hand  against  her  thigh  ,  giving  it  a  gentle  squeeze  before  tenderly  skimming  his  thumb  over  the  soft  flesh  in  reassurance  .  "  i'm  sorry  .  the  very  last  thing  i  intend  to  do  is  make  you  upset  on  days  that  we're  going  to  look  back  on  .  if  anything  this  whole  ordeal  will  haunt  me  but  ...  i  assure  you  ,  i've  done  nothing  but  anticipate  this  appointment  since  it  was  booked  .  "  he  couldn't  promise  that  he'd  always  be  readily  available  ,  but  he  hoped  the  sentiment  would  somehow  bridge  the  gap  .  "  now  ,  "  lungs  fill  with  air  as  he  stands  from  where  he's  been  seated  to  glance  around  the  room  ,  "  you  sit  here  while  i  go  pay  off  the  doctor  .  we're  seeing  our  kid  today  if  costs  me  my  retirement  .  "

plump petals pressed into a thin line as piercing blue hues stay focused on his features. " i have been waiting because i didn't want to go in without you," the blonde points out, unable to hide the hint of disappointment that shaded her words. "but now we're late, and they might not even be able to see us today." she's trying. she's trying not to turn this into an argument, to rise to his level and be the kind of woman he expects her to be. " you knew had an appointment today, you couldn't have been more mindful of the time ? perhaps cleared your afternoon, or at least kept track of it? you do it when you deem it important enough," she points, trying her best to keep her voice from quavering. " i'm sorry, i need you to tell me now, banks. if you're not going to be present when our child needs you, when i need you, i need to know now. "

[stillfruit]

i need someone to punch me or run me over with a car or something i don’t care just anything i’m sick and tired

[serialreblogger]

Are you out of the ER? Are you okay?

Ah! Yes indeed, sorry for worrying you!

Yeah, I went to the ER yesterday because I've been in uhhh an untenable amount of pain over the last week and my family doctor has, characteristically, done a great deal less than the bare minimum to help. The doctor who saw me in emerg was also pretty dismissive but I lowkey bullied him into giving me basic medical care, so right now I have some prescription painkillers (habit-forming ones, which between the anxiety and the substance-abuse-related baggage is less than thrilling for me, but right now I do very much need them) and a referral to a local gynecologist that I'll be following up on today!

All's, well, not quite well but definitely not as bad as it could be, and it will be well in short order if I have to physically fight someone to make it so

[mrsgiovanna]

Succession (Don Giorno x Wife!Reader)

This request had been sitting in my inbox for way too long (aren't they all), I hope this was worth the wait. All fluff, centering around new dad Giorno. Thank you to the sweet nonnie who requested this, it was what I needed to get back to my roots.

TW: Pregnancy

Word Count: 1.2 K

"Are you all set amore? Here, let me help you, don't strain yourself… I…"

"Giogio, please relax, I'm okay, just a little sore and tired," you attempted to reassure your concerned husband as he helped you off the high hospital bed. It was the day you were set to go home with your beautiful baby, who up until 5 minutes ago, had been safely nestled in your arms, until his father had arrived, looking vastly different to how everyone had gotten used to seeing him- hair scraped back and off his face, bound at the nape of his neck, his sharply tailored suit replaced with simple dark wash jeans and a soft cashmere turtleneck sweater. Perhaps the most precious thing he wore was the expression on his face, a mixture of joy and pride tugging at his handsome angled features as he lovingly gazed at his newborn child peacefully asleep in the clear hospital cot.

Waiting for the last of the release paperwork to be brought to your room you enjoyed the quiet moment in which you three were alone, away from the bustling world, it felt as if time itself had stood still.

Reflecting on the journey to get you to that point, you were so proud of both your and Giorno's efforts to ready everything for your little bundle's arrival. After being married for a while the decision to expand your family was one that came naturally, and after some time of trying, you had finally fallen pregnant. You thought back to the moment you had found out, excitedly rushing to Giorno to tell him your news, only to find him pondering over the best way for him to tell you, having already sensed the flickering life energy growing within you.

From that day onwards, Giorno had started to prepare for the baby's arrival, not missing a beat when it came to your care, being present for every doctor's appointment, making sure you took all your vitamins and satisfying every craving regardless of how outlandish it was (turns out corn flakes and vanilla ice cream makes for the best 3am breakfast). The most precious moments came when you two were alone, safely tucked away in your home. You began to notice how his hugs lingered for longer, his gazes became that much softer, and his touches that much gentler. What you didn't notice was him activating his stand each time he held you to make sure that his child was still healthily growing within you and that your life energy was as strong as he had remembered.

For Giorno, the prospect of fatherhood had presented him with perhaps the most challenging role of his life, however, as with many other trials, the golden Don had taken it in his stride. He was determined to give this child everything he could… Shower them with all of the love and attention he needed at that age. Only the best was good enough, and it wasn’t long before the interiors of Villa Giovanna had been baby proofed, the nursery was built to your exact specifications and your leisure readings were now taken up by various articles and books on what to expect as a new parent.

“Alright, Mr. Giovanna, we just need your signature on this and you’re free to go,”

“Perfect, done, and done!” announced Giorno with a flourish, “Everyone is beside themselves, they really are so excited to see you and the bambino,” he continued, helping you off the bed and picking up his sleeping infant. The ride home was different, it felt different, you were hyper aware of your surroundings and hovered a protective hand over the little one at every turn. Giorno went on excitedly, about how thrilled the staff at the Villa was to be welcoming the tiniest new Giovanna, having taken it upon themselves to have the house ready for your return. There was very little left for Giorno to do other than delegate his work for the next two weeks and see to your needs. You smiled to yourself thinking about how fortunate you both were to have such loving people in your lives, even if they were not connected to you both by blood, they had treated you like family all the same. Emphatic greetings exchanged and after a period of adoring cooing at the new addition to the family, you and Giorno had settled into your shared room. You had asked him to bring a crib into the room, just so that you could be within reach of the baby at all times.

It was only once you had settled in that you realized how exhausted you felt, noticing the way sleep had coaxed at your eyelids, Giorno had gently pushed you down by the shoulders and pulled the covers over you; the gentle way he caressed your face, wordlessly asked you to sleep. It didn't take you too long to drift off into a dreamless slumber. While you slept, Giorno had quietly set himself up to work next to you, tiptoeing in and out of the room to get his electronics and various documents, however productive his intentions might have been though, no work had been done for the duration of your nap. He couldn’t help being distracted by every little movement and sound that had come from inside the crib, eventually giving up his attempt at working in favour of watching over you and the baby. It was still something that felt so surreal to him, even though he could imbue just about any object with life, the fact that you had brought this life into the world was the most precious thing for him.

His reverie was disrupted by the shrill little cry emanating from the crib, which managed to rouse you from your sleep as well.

"It's alright Gio, I've got this one… Well, if he's hungry, I'm the only person who can actually take care of this," you say with a small, sleepy laugh. Smiling at your quip Giorno picked up the fussy infant and brought him over to you, gently placing him in your arms before settling down next to you while you fed the baby.

“You know tesoro, we can’t keep referring to him as “the baby” forever, we need to choose a name for him…” suggested Giorno while he lovingly observed you both. You let the idea steep in your head for a moment contemplating the various options that sprang forth- tributes to fallen comrades, beloved allies that you wanted to honour, starting a new tradition that retained the “Giogio” epithet … There were so many options to choose from.

“Oh, how about Giorgio? Its a strong name,” looking at the handsome don contemplating it, you continued, “and then I can call him “Giogio”, it's perfect actually!”

“But, I’m Giogio too…” said Giorno looking at you with an expression halfway between amused and crestfallen.

“Well, it’s time to move over pal, there’s a new kid in town,” you managed to utter in between your stifled laughs. Looking at the bright green eyes rimmed by ebony lashes, Giorno's gaze softened as he gently cradled the infant's head, softly stroking the tufts of soft black hair, “You know what, I really love that… Giorgio Giovanna... welcome to the world little one.”

[spockandawe]

God, measuring days is hard when activity straddles midnight. Uhhh, Tuesday night, how's that. Had 21 text blocks ready to go, had half the boards cut for them. After work, I cut the other boards, selected cloth pairings, made the bookcloth (no commercial bookcloth in this round, I forgot to consider it even as I was stepping over it to journey to my other fabric, which says something about how exhausted I am), thought 'i will just case in a few of these and get to sleep' and before I know it, it's some ungodly hour and

For totally definitely unrelated reasons, I woke up this morning, my brain and body went on strike, and I took a sick day from work. i couldn't focus well enough to sleep in nicely, and silversmithing class in the city blows a giant hole in my wednesdays but I did make wheat paste and do a lot of work for this and the other leather chonkers!

I could finish paring the corners and glue them down now probably, but I WON'T, I will be SENSIBLE and sleep and WAKE UP for doctor appointment followed by social x2.

Anyways, with that stack, I'm at 49. I'm so tired. The finish line is in sight, though, and if anything is able to override my general impulse-driven hedonism, it's my hilariously overdeveloped sense of pride and vanity. I'm hitting 60, by the 27th. Accountability for me, all the special cases I couldn't finish last night:

Leather chonker + two companion books (3)

Leather danmei pair (2)

Marbled edge pair (2)

Dos-a-dos (I'm counting it as 1)

Danmei with typesetting still in progress, frickin huge, either WILL be three or if I've missed something in the preliminary typesetting and it's actually much shorter, I'll find another short one to fill in (3)

Eleven. I've been dragging my heels on things that break up my workflow, but I bit the bullet with leather, and marbling won't be that bad. If I push, I could realistically conclude the first eight tomorrow and get the danmei printed! But lord, I'm close to a collapse point, I can actively feel my brain shutting down

Do you remember when I went very quiet last year and then posted a ton of books out of nowhere? So unusual and memorable, I know. But it's binderary again, and both a need for speed and simple vanity compel me to achieve the tier that's affectionately named for me! 28 books in 28 days, bonches. Or, no, because last year I did thirty and I will literally be sorcerer's stone dudley at me if I don't at least match. So we're doing 30+. Going by my own arbitrary rules, I have harvested no text, done no prep. Including prep for what I'm gonna bind, lmaooo. Extending the arbitrary rules, I can work with text I've already collected, BUT, i will have to wipe all my formatting and begin anew. Also my brain was melted into paste by work and I forgot what day it was, so I am closing out my day three like so:

There should be 15 books in that stack, but after taking the picture I counted 14, womp womp. I assume a tiny one is still sandwiched between comic books. I wi find that lost sheep.... after I sleep. My sleep schedule is so broken right now.

That covers some shorter fics and some low-hanging fruit. Now that I feel VERY confident about my timelines, I'm going to start stirring some Big Boys into the mix. I think I've pinned down.... 4+3+1+1=9 definite other candidates, so then I have to thoughtfully ponder my bookmarks and my cnovel reading history. Then I have to think, lmao. I'm closing in on an actual weekend, looking forward to seeing how much I can get done without a massively disruptive schedule. My secondary goal is to see how quickly I can hit that 28 book mark, and I'm feeling good. Some of the tiny books should be cased in tomorrow, for sure.

[helloalycia]

just a kid [two] // wanda maximoff

summary: you decide to get to the bottom of things, suspecting Wanda has something to do with your troubled memories.

warning/s: mentions of death and explicit/descriptive violence.

author's note: here’s the second and final part! bit of an angsty one oof

part one | masterlist | wattpad

In all of the time Wanda and I spent together, we'd never lied to one another. We always told each other everything, even if we thought it would make the others person upset. So, I couldn't for the life of me understand what she was doing behind my back now.

After a while of trying to collect my thoughts and reigning in my agitation, I returned to Doctor Maya's office to see she was alone. When I entered without knocking, she looked up with surprise, but now that I knew that she was hiding something, I saw a hint of guilt.

"Y/N, what can I do for you?" she asked without so much as a shake in her voice. She'd practiced well. "Did we have an appointment?"

I closed the door behind me, stepping forward but not quite committing to taking a seat.

"I still feel nauseous," I said with stern eyes. "I still get nightmares. My thoughts don't feel like my own. My head hurts every time I try to remember my accident."

"Y/N, I've told you, it'll take time to–"

"Stop! Stop lying!" I exclaimed, gripping the back of the chair tightly. "I heard you and Wanda talking earlier. I know you're hiding something. Something to do with Wanda. So, tell me. What is it?"

Other than jumping at my sudden outburst, she showed no expression on her face, nor acknowledgement to my words. I tried a different approach, shoulders sagging with defeat and expression softening.

With a normal volume, I pleaded, "Please. I have a right to know if it concerns me."

Still, she said nothing. Only avoided my eyes and played with her fingers nervously on her desk. I clenched my jaw, trying not to snap.

"Fine," I gave in. "Can you at least tell me if Wanda was there when my accident happened?"

Finally, she spoke, nodding. "Obviously she was. She was the one who got you to the quinjet after you were knocked unconscious."

I chewed the inside of my mouth, trying to piece together the incident. Things still didn't make sense...

"The agent that I was trying to help," I said, remembering that was the reason I was out in the field in the first place, "what happened to them? Where are they now?"

She straightened up in her seat. "As I told you before, he made it out okay. But I cannot tell you where he is."

"And why not?"

"It's not relevant."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Well, now I know you're hiding something."

She pressed her lips together, unsure whether to respond or not. After opening and closing her mouth like a fish in water, she opted to stay silent.

"I guess I'll keep taking my medication like a good girl," I said with sarcastic smile. "Thanks for nothing, doc."

With an eye roll, I left the room and decided to take matters into my own hands. If neither her nor Wanda would tell me the truth, I'd make a start to finding out myself.

First thing's first – Wanda had some sort of connection to this whole thing, excluding the fact that she was hiding it. I recalled hearing her say something about 'working out the kinks'... what was she trying to work out?

I knew she had powers and was capable of many things; was it linked to that? I was having trouble remembering and the only two people who seemed to know were my doctor and Wanda, the girl who had the abilities to manipulate thoughts to her own will. But she wouldn't, would she? That was an invasion of privacy, morally wrong. She was a good person. The only time she'd done that was when she was trying to defeat the Avengers, but she wasn't that person anymore... she wouldn't do that to me, right?

It was getting late and I still had so many pieces of the puzzle to put together. All I had were theories and nothing to back them up. So, as I headed to Wanda's room with tired eyes and a curious brain, I tried to push it away for the evening and focus on getting some sleep, if any.

Wanda was tying her hair up in the mirror, already dressed for bed, when I stepped in. Her eyes caught mine in the mirror and she spun around, expression softening.

"Hey," she said gently, probably taking caution after how our last interaction went. "D'you have a nice walk?"

I pursed my lips, studying her carefully. How could she act like this? So concerned for my well-being as she watched me suffer, when she knew something that might help me?

"Yeah, I guess," I spoke, before taking my shoes off and going to the ensuite to get changed.

It was quiet as I got ready for bed and brushed my teeth. Wanda, thankfully, didn't push me to speak, but I was still confused. I wanted her to tell me what she knew, but she was playing it safe. Maybe I could test the waters a little...?

As I clambered into bed beside her, I saw she was sat up and reading a book in the light of her bedside lamp. I began to take my watch off and glanced at her subtly, deciding to say something.

"I think something is wrong," I said, earning her attention. "I think I might be remembering my accident incorrectly."

She lowered her book, giving me her full attention. But unlike before, I now saw the doubt swimming in her eyes.

"What? Why do you think that?" she asked with confusion.

I put my watch to the side and paused, deciding whether I was in the mood to get into it.

"How do you know it was a mine?" I asked her, quirking a brow.

She pulled a face, as if suggesting my question was silly. "I was there, Y/N. I saw it."

I wanted to believe her, I did.

"Did anyone else see it?" I asked, unable to stop myself.

Closing her book, she shook her head, distracting from the panic settling into her expression. "What's with all of the questions?"

I ignored her. "You can manipulate people's thoughts, can't you? Get into their head. Read their mind."

"Yes...," she answered, nodding with a puzzled frown. "So?"

I'd known Wanda long enough to know she was hiding something. I should have detected the signs sooner. The constant avoidance of my eyes, the fiddling thumbs, the way her accent grew a little stronger. I was right. She was keeping something from me.

"You've never got into my head before, right?" I asked curiously, wondering if she was reading my thoughts right now. Did she know I was on to her? Did she know I knew she was hiding something?

Resting a reassuring hand on mine, she shook her head. "I would never."

I glanced at her hand that squeezed mine, then to her dark green eyes swimming with certainty. Was she lying now? Or was she just getting better at it?

No, I still had my doubts. She must have done something to my thoughts. And I would never know unless she told me, which she clearly wasn't going to.

"You're mad at me," she realised, letting go of my hand.

I shook my head and looked away, frowning. "I'm not. I'm just tired."

Without another word, I got under the covers and turned my back to her. I wasn't sure what else to do. She was blatantly lying to my face when I thought I could trust her. How could she?

Sleep came to me quickly that night, thankfully not bombarded by painful dreams. But when I woke up and had a shower, I realised how angry I still was. Wanda was lying to me and I didn't understand why.

"I'm gonna go back to my flat," I told her out of the blue after drying my hair.

She walked out of the ensuite and leaned against the doorframe, seeming taken aback. "You're going back?"

I nodded, maintaining eye contact. "Yeah. I can't stay here."

Wanda frowned. "This is about last night."

She looked so hurt by my words that I almost took them back, but I didn't. She was a liar.

"Yeah, it is," I said, crossing my arms with certainty, a hostile expression taking over my face. "I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, Wanda, but you're lying to me."

She straightened up, eyebrows furrowing together. "What are you talking about?"

I squeezed my hands as I continued to cross my arms, hiding my frustration. "I know you're in my head."

She hesitated – a split second, but I saw it – and it was enough to confirm my thoughts.

"I would never do that," she said with a shake of her head, making me clench my fists.

"Stop lying to me, Wanda!" I shouted, finally bursting. "I know it's you! You're in there, I can feel you!"

"Y/N–"

"No!" I cut her off, tears brimming my eyes. "You're mixing my thoughts up and spitting out something that isn't real. You have to be! Because if you're not then– then– then I'm going insane."

I swallowed hard, wiping my eyes and looking away momentarily, trying to collect myself. Crying wasn't my intention, but God, the discomfort in the pit of my stomach and the constant restlessness I felt was eating me alive. I needed to know the truth and the one person I thought I could rely on wasn't helping me.

"I'm sorry," she said, and I looked at her to see she was watching me apologetically. "I don't want to. But I have to."

I licked my lips, partially fed up. I was hoping I was mistaken, that the most that would happen is I accused my girlfriend of something immoral. This was way worse. I was right.

"Why do you have to?" I questioned with burning eyes. "What happened that I can't know?"

She stepped forward, but I stepped back. Frowning, hurt, she ran a hand through her hair.

"I can't tell you," she said regretfully, making me groan loudly. "Look, it's not as easy as you think. This is for your own good, Y/N."

"No, no, it's not," I disagreed, before pointing an accusing finger her way. "You don't get to decide that for me! You have no right!"

Glassy green eyes met mine. "This is all to protect you. The truth hurts."

"Fuck yeah, it does," I said bitterly. "Discovering my girlfriend is mind-controlling me is never a nice thing to learn."

"Don't say that!" she snapped, clenching her fists. "It's not like that."

"It's exactly like that," I said lowly, scowling at her. "You're treating me like your enemy. You don't just get to prance around in my head because we're a couple. That's not how this works."

"That's not what I'm doing!" she shouted, eyes beginning to glow red with frustration.

"Then tell me what the hell is going on!" I said, not backing down.

She clenched her jaw, red eyes and anger dispersing as her expression softened. "I can't."

Through blurry vision, I glared her way. "Then fuck you, Wanda! I'll figure it out myself!"

I was sick of her feeling like she could control me, like I was some sort of helpless being who needed her protection. It was my head and I deserved to know what the fuck was in it!

In the two years we'd been together, we'd never argued this bad. And I'd never imagined it would be because she was manipulating me like she was.

With determination, I stormed down to the medical floor of the Tower and straight to Doctor Maya's office.

When she saw me, she looked up with surprise. "Y/N, what are you–"

"Cut the act, I know the truth," I interrupted her. "About Wanda mind-controlling me. How you were both in cahoots. I know it all."

She seemed shocked. "I– I don't know what to say."

"You can tell me where the agent I tried to help is," I got straight to the point.

"I'm not sure if I should–"

"One way or another, I'm going to find out," I deadpanned, not in the mood to be played. "Just tell me."

It didn't take much convincing, as I soon found myself on the way to a hospital at a nearby S.H.I.E.L.D. facility where the agent was recovering in. With my clearance, it wasn't difficult to get inside, and after explaining who I was, the agent – Agent Montgomery – was happy to have me visit him.

When I walked into his room, I saw he was sitting up in his bed, watching the TV hung on the wall ahead. When he saw me however, he muted it and smiled brightly at me. I noticed the bruises littering his body and though he was wearing a hospital gown, I suspected his injuries were bandaged beneath it.

"Doctor Y/L/N," he addressed me. "It's such a pleasure. I've been wanting to thank you ever since you helped me out a week ago."

I offered a small smile, stopping by his bedside. "There's no need. I was just–" I hesitated, feeling like an idiot as I couldn't even remember what I'd helped him with. "I was just doing my job."

He chuckled. "So modest. It's just nice to know you're doing okay. If it weren't for you swooping in on the scene, I'm sure I would've bled out. I wanted to thank you, but the doctors here told me that you were pretty shaken up after what happened and needed some time."

My eyes fell to the monitors beside his bed, avoiding his eyes. "Yeah... what exactly happened that day?"

He seemed surprised. "You don't remember? It wasn't... it wasn't good. I thought that's why you were taking the time for yourself."

I looked up, catching the way his smile faded into a frown and he looked down to his hands sadly.

"Can you refresh my memory?" I asked gently, unsure whether I was ready to hear the truth or not. But it was now or never.

"Well, from my perspective, I was laying on the ground, thinking I was gonna die from blood loss..."

This part of the city was desolate and destroyed, remnants of broken buildings as a result of the Avengers' fight surrounding me. When I was rushed into the field with my team, with plans of finding the handful of casualties to be extracted, I followed usual protocol.

It was supposed to be empty of enemy combatants. We were just supposed to be prepping the casualties for evacuation, as usual. This time was different though.

I came across Agent Montgomery's body by myself, separated from my team as they spread out amongst the rubble to find the rest of the bodies.  He was laying there, body unmoving as his hand was pressed to a point above his stomach.

Instinctively, I rushed over to him and began to unload my medical equipment on the ground beside him. I squinted in the hot sun – why was it so bright out? – as I tried to pull the agent's helmet off.

"Hey, I'm here to help," I told him reassuringly, giving him a smile that I hoped would put him at ease. "Can you hear me?"

"You helped me, patched me up," Agent Montgomery was explaining vividly, and I found myself hanging onto his every word.

For the first time in a week, my memories were making sense. They flowed as one rather than in mashed scenes of a broken film.

He nodded, to my relief, and let me move his hand to the side so I could see what I was working with. A bullet wound and from the looks of it, the bullet was still lodged in there.

I spent the next five minutes patching him up well enough so I could eventually take him back to the quinjet, whilst making conversation with him so he would feel better about everything. When I was done, I radioed my team to help collect him and planned to wait by his side until they arrived. But I heard someone calling for help and looked up with confusion, hand resting on my own pistol.

"There was this kid," he recalled, wincing at the mention of her, which made me wonder what went wrong. "I was a little out of it, I'm not gonna lie. But I could never forget it. Forget that poor girl."

The voice belonged to a little girl. It was as if she'd appeared out of nowhere. Her clothes were tattered and she was covered in dirt, like she'd climbed out from one of the collapsed buildings. I wouldn't have put it past her. People did live here after all. Or, at least, they did.

"Hey," I said quietly, letting go of my pistol. "Are you okay, love? Are you hurt?"

She frowned, lip quivering. "I don't know where my family is."

My heart sank at her words, watching the look of horror cross her expression. I couldn't imagine what she must have witnessed as the battles raged on earlier. She stepped closer to me, eyes blinking innocently, before finding the state of the agent on the floor.

"He'll be okay," I reassured her, earning her attention. "And so will you. I'll help you find your family, yeah?"

She nodded, wiping away fresh tears.

"She was just a kid," Agent Montgomery said, his own eyes glassy from pent up emotions. "She didn't deserve what happened."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. He didn't need to finish. I remembered it so vividly.

"Do you have a name?" I asked her, removing my medical gloves and throwing them to the side so I could give the girl all of my attention.

I outstretched my hand, offering it up. She rested hers in mine, making me smile.

"Selena," she mumbled.

"Well, Selena," I began, hopefully, "that's a pretty name. And I'm sure we can find your parents in no time."

We just had to wait until my team came and then I could try to look for her parents. It wouldn't be hard and I refused to accept they were dead, despite the likelihood of them being alive being quite low.

Selena nodded, her tiny hand squeezing mine, searching for comfort. I squeezed it back, kneeling before her and giving her a quick nod.

Before either of us could say anything more, the unexpected happened. It was as if there was a bomb set in the middle of that tiny girl's body because one second I was staring at her, and the next, she exploded all over, coating me in tiny, fleshy pieces.

My jaw dropped with disbelief, ears ringing from the explosion and heart dropping at the suddenness of it all. I risked looking down, only to see the girl's hand still intact and resting in mine. But where her body should have connected, there was nothing there.

I couldn't help but think how strange it all looked, like a prop from a film set, or a mannequin hand from a clothing shop. I dropped it without thinking, watching it bounce onto the blood-stained ground.

Smoke and blood infiltrated my nose. I looked down and my hands were shaking so much, covered in what looked like minced meat. Meat. Blood. Smoke.

My stomach curled, but I couldn't move. Eyes were permanently widened. Hands were still shaking. The girl's voice played in my ears amidst the ringing. One second she was there and the next she wasn't.

"It came out of nowhere," Agent Montgomery muttered. "Some weapon HYDRA were testing. Had the ability to make its target explode within seconds. She was just another victim of the senseless violence that day."

I swallowed hard, my stomach curling. So much nausea. So much aching. I pocketed my sweaty, shaking hands. Looked to Agent Montgomery.

"That avenger, the witch?" he continued, looking up to me. "She got us out of there. Killed the HYDRA agent. You must've passed out from shock. But she saved us both."

Wanda. She was there. She'd seen it all happen. She'd saved me.

She'd lied to me.

My mouth was dry like sandpaper. My head hurt. I felt sick. The memories were connecting as they flashed through my mind.

It came out of nowhere.

She was just a kid.

"Thanks for telling me," I managed to get out, already backing up. "Good luck with your recovery."

He may have responded, but I wouldn't know. I left the room, ears ringing like I was still there. I looked down, half expecting my clothes to be covered in flesh. Selena's flesh. That poor girl...

She was just a kid.

My vision blurred and I had to pause, hanging in the empty hallway of the medical wing. I raised my hand, covering my mouth as I struggled to breathe without shaking. But it was impossible.

It came out of nowhere.

I don't know where my family is.

"There you are."

I looked up, blinking away tears, making out Wanda standing before me. She seemed reluctant to come closer and for a moment, I wasn't sure what I was feeling.

"Doctor Maya told me where you were," she explained quietly.

Do you have a name?

"I don't have t-time for this," I got out, pushing myself away from the wall and moving forward, walking past her.

"Y/N, please wait," she pleaded, grabbing my arm, and I shook her off so quickly. The thought of being touched right now, when I was covered in–

I looked down. I was clean.

Selena.

"I shouldn't have controlled your mind," Wanda continued from behind me, sincerity in her words. "It wasn't right. It wasn't my place."

I turned around, breath catching in my throat. My ears were still ringing. Hands still sweaty. I pocketed them, though they shook so much my jacket was moving.

Well, Selena, that's a pretty name. And I'm sure we can find your parents in no time.

"She was just a kid," I said, expecting such ferocity in my words, but they barely came out above a whisper. "She wasn't supposed to be there."

Wanda swallowed hard, taking a small step forward. I didn't move back.

"It wasn't your fault."

"She just wanted her family." I clenched my jaw, squeezing my sweaty, shaky hands into fists. "She shouldn't have been there."

"Y/N..."

I squeezed my eyes shut, tears flowing out, before shouting, "You had no right! You– you– you had no fuckin' right!"

Wanda watched me with glossy eyes. "I know. You're right."

Just a kid.

The ringing stopped. I clutched my stomach, wishing the stabbing nausea would disappear. Now that my thoughts were whole again, I felt like I was experiencing the whole thing once more. It was catching up to me quicker than I could adjust to.

She opened her mouth to speak and I shook my head, signalling for her to stop. I couldn't take it. I was so angry and hurt and shocked and I– I–

"I hate you," I breathed out.

She frowned, eyes screaming with guilt. "Y/N..."

My jaw ached from the pressure I was putting on it. Marks were forming in my palm from how hard I was squeezing my fists. She had no right.

"It wasn't your fucking place," I repeated, moving forward and bundling her shirt in my fist. Glaring at her through my tears, I saw the way she put up no fight, expressions softening and etched with guilt. "You– you– you–"

My hands began to shake again. The ringing returned. I couldn't take it. I let go and shoved her back, needing a moment. But I didn't know what to do.

I wanted to hate her. She had messed with my head. Made this so much worse than it could have been if she'd just let me suffer in the first place. But at the same time, a small part of me wished it would have worked. That her mind manipulation would have done it's job and I wasn't remembering. Because fuck, remembering hurt like a bitch.

More tears came and I squeezed my eyes shut, squeezing my stomach to ease the never-ending pain. I opened my mouth to speak, but a sob came out instead, and before I knew it, Wanda was wrapping her arms around me, letting me fall into her.

"It's okay," she said with certainty, squeezing me. "You'll be okay."

I shook my head because I knew that wasn't true. Nothing was okay. I couldn't imagine it ever being okay.

She was just a kid.