#i'm absolutely not fucking well after 7-5 guys
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motivation-ga-shinderu · 2 months ago
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"the person you love isn't real and never was. and even if they were, they've already changed so much since then that you can't love them anymore" -my oomf eve who said this about subkit. here's another relevant reddit comment too
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xotoru · 1 month ago
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*àłƒàŒ„ Nsfw Headcannons
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Wc:574
Warnings:smut, hair pulling, overstim, choking and head pushing mentioned, high sex, descriptions of male genitalia, afab reader, this is just really freaky...
Synopsis:How I think they would be in bed>.<ïżŒ
đ˜đ˜»đ˜¶đ˜Źđ˜¶.đ˜”â—ĄÌˆ
with him you can really get anythig
if he's on top then you better believe hes gonna go all the way
you won't be walking right for at least a day
he gets so into it that he forgets about himself and solely focuses on pleasuring you
on the other hand, if your on top he just becomes a big whiny mess
like straight up moonx
his mind goes blank and his only though is you above him and how your justing using him to pleasure yourself
he's probably like 5-6 inches, a bit on the thicker side, uncut, well shaven
đ˜’đ˜ąđ˜”đ˜Žđ˜¶đ˜Źđ˜Ș.đ˜‰â˜ ïžŽïžŽ
he's roughhhh
with how he acts the regular i'm sure its not a surprise that he's rough and into degrading and things along those lines
total freak in the sheets though
"such a slut for me" "take it...fuck- take it I know you can..."
gets a bit choked up when he cums but tries his best to hide it
hair puller, choker, head pusher and overstimulator I fear
loves loves lovesss face fucking
hes like 7-7.5, definetily girthy, cut, shaves occasionally'
𝘋𝘩𝘯𝘬đ˜Ș.đ˜’Ë˜Íˆá”•Ë˜Íˆ
this man is a straight up freakkkkk
whenever you wear anything revealing he's like a straight up hound dog
you best believe your not gonna be walking for some time after that night
if you overstimulate him too much he goes dumb and his only thought is you basically
unfortunately rlly bad at dirty talk
you sometimes just tell him to stop talking cause it turns you off...
big blow job guy; he's lazy
he's a good 6 inches, more length then girth, uncut, doesn't like shaving cause he's scared he'll cut himself :'(
𝘌đ˜Șđ˜«đ˜Ș𝘳𝘰.𝘒 ♞
he's really gentle cause he's scared to hurt you
sweet kisses while you gently bounce up and down on his aching cock
then when you get tired he lets you lay onto of him as he slowly thrusts up in to your sloppy pussy
hes so careful and sensual with it
is focused on having the moment last and just being there with you more then his own pleasure
wants nothing more then to make you feel satisfied
he's like the praise king!!!
he's fairly average, like 6-6.5, uncut, shaves if you want him too but besides that he really doesn't
đ˜đ˜ąđ˜Żđ˜”đ˜ą.𝘚♣
he's a little horny boi
any chance he GETS he wants to fuck
really fast and coordinated but not really rough
isn’t afraid to moan or whimper
boob man 100%, gets really grabby whenever he’s high
speaking of that, he loves fucking while high, like more then when he’s sober
sends you videos of him jerking off randomly
ass slapper all the way
fairly big actually, like 7.5, cut, shaves cause he doesn’t like how it feels
đ˜šđ˜©đ˜°đ˜”đ˜°.đ˜›â˜Ÿ
He absolutely loves I missed you sex
After long missions or business trips the first thing he wants to do when he gets home is bury himself inside your sopping pussy and paint it white
He’s a silent freak
Wont say anything about it but if you want he’ll fuck wherever whenever
When you ride him he feels like he’s on a whole different planet
Prefers positions where he can hold you close to him
Buys you different sets of lingerie and what not whenever he goes out
Also pretty big, just about 8 inches, shaven cause he finds body hair on himself gross
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for-a-longlongtime · 3 months ago
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Guilty Pleasure (6/7) - dbf!Joel Miller x reader
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An open bar and Joel in a tailored black outfit mean trouble at your father's garden party. Enough reason to do something you haven't done before.
Rating: Explicit, 18+ only, mdni đŸ”žđŸ”„ Series warnings (tba): Age gap (reader is 22, Joel is 43), masturbation (f), use of sex toys, oral sex, PiV, anal, hair pulling, dirty talk, getting caught, playful use of 'daddy', outrageous flirting, groping, reference to m/m, Joel's arms should always come with a warning. No outbreak!AU. Word count: 3.4K A/N: I finished writing the final chapter last night and y'all, I'm giddy as fuck. Big BIG thanks to @milla-frenchy and @reallyrallyauthor for your support and reading Part 6 and 7 early to make sure this hits juuust right!
< part 5 | series masterlist | main masterlist
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There are too many people in your backyard. Mingling, chatting, networking, kissing ass - all accompanied by canapĂ©s that are too fancy, beer that is so painfully hip and micro-brewed that you don’t even want to try it, and outfits intended to seem semi-casual yet also upstage everybody. You hate these gatherings. It’s far from the first time you’ve had to endure them because of your father’s work, though. Even your grandmother liked reminding you when you were little that your grandfather also hosted affairs like this. “It’s important to build connections.”
You don’t care. All you give a damn about tonight - or maybe these days, if you are honest with yourself - was Joel, dressed like a fucking vision. Well fitting black pants, that you suspect are tailored, an ever better fitting black dress shirt which is absolutely tailored, and matching black boots. His hair, usually curly and messy, now looks so sharp that you wonder if he got a haircut this morning; it’s a little shorter, definitely neater, and brushed back a little.
But what your eyes keep going back to the most are the few buttons on his shirt that are undone, showing off his tanned skin and a smattering of freckles you had barely noticed before. It makes you want to trace every single one with your tongue and find out if he would whine when you'd suck a hickey on his neck.
He’s at the bar, waiting for his drink, so you slide in right next to him and bump against his arm. “Hey. Don’t tell me you’re drinking those craft beers?”
“Jesus. No, of course not.” 
The expression on his face is one of instant disgust, and you can’t help but laugh at the candid response. “Wow, didn’t think there’d be someone else who’d hate them as much as I do.”
Joel grumbles something, then gives the bartender a nod as he takes a glass of whiskey from him. When the guy turns to you to take your order, you point at Joel’s glass. “I’ll have whatever he’s having.”
The guy gives you a doubtful look. “Can I see some ID?”
“Yes, you can. It’s called ‘I’m the daughter of the guy who is paying your salary tonight’ and I’m twenty two. Thanks for making that drink now.” You stare at him, daring him to push back against you - you are NOT in the mood for this tonight, especially not in front of Joel. After a few moments, the bartender sighs and shrugs as he turns around, reaching for a glass and some ice. You can feel Joel’s eyes on you, so you turn towards him to give him a similar look. “What? Go ahead. Say it.”
“Say what?”
“That I’m being a brat.”
“Nah.” Joel shakes his head as he sips from his whiskey. “You’d just get off on that. That’s not brattiness - you’re actually being rude,” he says, then wanders off to go talk to someone nearby.
You stare at him with an open mouth, anger starting to creep into you. How the fuck does he dare to just say something like that to you? It hurts, and most of all it gives you a pang of concern that maybe you’ve ruined your chances with him - between this and the way he responded at the pool a few days ago.
“Oh honey, forget about it.” The bartender gives you a look that’s bordering on pity and disdain, his inflection drastically different all of a sudden as he pushes a glass towards you. “That man ain’t into you. Wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole. Why don’t you go find somebody of your own age to play with, hmmm?”
“Why don’t you go fuck yourself?”, you snap at him as you grab the glass and stalk off, his words feeling like claws that have sunk into your skin and won’t let go of you. The burn of the liquor doesn’t help you in the way you’d hoped for, and you find yourself craving something stronger, sweeter. Anything that’ll help you take the edge off.
Anything, in this case, turns out to be 6’3”, blond, looks like a jock and is named
 Brady? Brody? Brad. Ben. Blake. Something like that, you can’t remember, but it’s unimportant after having chatted with him for all of ten minutes. What matters is that he’s not a bad kisser, smells fine - not woodsy like Joel unfortunately - and his hands are large as well as eager, pressing you with your back against the solid wood of the pergola. 
If it wouldn’t ruin the mood for him, you probably would’ve laughed at the irony of making out with Blaine - Brandon? Brayden? No. Bruno. Bruce. Barry. Maybe it was Chad after all - right against the pergola that Joel had built over the past couple of days. 
You’d been watching Joel from your bay window, his muscles straining in the sun, while he grunted the way you had memorized from his Instagram videos. And for all of those three days, you’d had several orgasms as you’d watched him. Some of them were thanks to your fingers, others due to toys - varying from the small bullet vibe to the thrusting rabbit vibrator you used for longer sessions. But in the end, all of this had been going on for too long. The flirting, the way you’d feel him look at you regularly, the build up of tension; it had you feral by now, and you just wanted Joel.
You are gonna get him. Soon. Even if it means needing to make him jealous.
“Should we- should we go inside?” Jock guy pauses his kisses, leaning his forehead against yours as he runs his hands down your body, and you can feel him press hot and heavy against your thigh. Fuck, he is hung. “We’ll have some more privacy, and
”
“No, this is fine,” you say quickly, your eyes scanning the crowd of people across the yard. Most of them are unaware of your makeout session, and your glance slides right past them, but suddenly you detect Joel not too far away from where you are. He is staring right at you, gripping his whiskey glass in your hand, and when the guy next to him says something, he only shakes his head, not breaking his glance with you.
“Are you
”
“I said this is fine,” you said sharply to the guy with his hands on your hips. A frown plays over his face, and in a gesture of good will you let your hand brush over the crotch of his pants, tracing the outline of his dick. “Nobody is watching.”
He groans, his lips finding yours again as he pushes himself against your hand. You kiss him back eagerly this time, your arms around him as you turn him just the slightest bit so you can keep your view of Joel. He’s talking to the guy next to him now, a back and forth conversation, but every now and then his eyes slide back to you, and then there’s a nod he gives you that makes you shiver.
Baxter, or Bart, Bobby, or whatever the hell his name is, slips his hand under your skirt, and you moan when his fingertips trace your lacy underwear. You hear how he sucks in air for a second, then his chest almost puffs up in pride at how wet he finds you. Silly guy. He thinks it’s because of him, that his not-too-bad kisses have riled you up so much. Has no damn clue how Joel’s eyes are back on you again.
“Touch me,” you breathe at him, and then hold your breath when he does so. Thick fingers - though not as thick as Joel’s - slipping under the fabric of your panties, pulling them to the side while your eyes remain locked on Joel. You’re trying to merge the touches with your fantasies and the visual of Joel right in front of you, conjuring up his voice. You think of the way he’d tease you with slow, playful strokes over your pussy, each time a little more focused on your clit, making you delirious with need before he’d even consider sliding a finger into your soaked cunt.
But reality seems more than unwilling to blend with your fantasies. While initially the guy seemed to smell fine, you’re now noticing the overwhelming amount of generic fuck boy cologne he’s wearing, the scent unsettling and clearly something Joel would never even wear. He doesn’t smell like a hard day’s work on Joel does and his hands are too smooth, too well taken care of. No roughness from manual labor whatsoever, no finesse to tease you, and definitely not much muscle memory on how to properly get a woman going. 
Instead he’s just clumsy, perhaps because all the blood has rushed to his cock that’s pressing insistently against you. Substitute-Joel’s fingers slide over your folds only one disappointing time, clearly not even attempting to find your clit. He fumbles around as his own breathing grows heavy, then suddenly tries to push two fingers inside of you - without any further prep or even checking if that’s okay with you. 
It abruptly ruins the horny spell you’d been under several minutes ago, and you swear as you grab his hand to stop him, your pussy strongly objecting to his fingers trying to invade you. 
“Hey! Fucking hell,” you hiss, pulling his hand out of your underwear before he can go any further. “You always fingerbang girls without properly prepping them?”
“What? You’re practically dripping on me,” he hisses back as he looks confused. But you’re not about to end up in a discussion about how being wet doesn’t mean he can just shove his fingers inside of you - let alone without any warning.
“Never mind,” you say as you push him away from you, then straighten your clothes as you move away from the pergola. “Let’s just forget this happened, okay? I’ve gotta go say hi to someone.”
“Bitch,” he mutters at you, adjusting his tie and the collar of his shirt. On most days you would’ve gladly torn him a new asshole for that, but you’re just not in the mood to further engage with him. So you start to head into Joel’s direction, but then see that he seems to have moved elsewhere, leaving you to look around in confusion.
You look up when you hear a group of men laugh, and see your father shake some hands as he offers his audience a few more words. Joel is there too, you realize, still with a drink in his hand. Your father gives him a friendly pat on his arm, which is returned with Joel’s signature nod, as he then heads over to some other people who look more than eager to greet him. It makes your skin crawl to see him acting like some kind of politician, eager to make a good impression on everyone, and you quickly turn away from him to look back at Joel - who is now looking straight at you again, without saying anything.
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It’s not until you’re back at the bar for another whiskey - you’ve lost track of how many you’ve had - that he shows up next to you, giving you a gentle nudge like you had done to him earlier. “D’you eat anything recently?”, he asks, absentmindedly playing with a coaster on the bar. You can smell the smokey alcohol on his breath, see that the buttons on his shirt are just a little more opened than they were a little while ago, and it just makes you ache for him.
“Shut up, Joel,” you mutter, but he doesn’t follow your suggestion - instead he picks up the whiskey that the bartender slides over to you and takes a sip of it.
“A water for her, please?”, he asks, then covers the liquor glass with his hand when you try to reach for it. “No. You’re done.”
You’re starting to seethe at this point. “Who the fuck you think you are telling me how much I can drink?,” you snap at him. His eyes are infuriatingly calm, but the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips makes it clear he’s a lot more amused than you are.
“Easy, darling. Just looking out for you, okay?” He pushes the glass of ice water on the counter over to you, but you have half a mind to throw it at him.
“Why are you bothering me?”
His eyebrows raise at the word ‘bothering’, but he doesn’t quite respond to it. “Just have some water and food,” he says softly. “You’ll feel like shit if you don’t.” 
“You’re drunk too.”
Joel rolls his eyes at you. “Yeah, well
 have to get through this all somehow, don’t I? Been drinking water too, though.” He gives you a look as he takes another sip of whiskey, sighing.
“I don’t get why you’re here.” Your head is spinning a little, but at this point you’re not sure if it’s the booze or proximity to Joel that’s getting to you. The memory of that jock guy’s cologne is far from your mind by now, replaced now by that smell that you crave - the cologne you would recognize anywhere, layered with Joel’s own scent. And it’s driving you mad. “Nobody is making you, unlike they’re doing with me.” 
A smile plays over Joel’s face and he shrugs. “Your mom asked me.”
You can’t help but laugh. “My— what? And that’s why you’re voluntarily subjecting yourself to all of this?” You gesture around the yard, the groups of stuffy people, pretentious bite sized food and music that makes you desperately want to connect your phone to the speaker system. “I’ve been to so many of these. It’s awful, every single time.”
You’re waiting for him to tell you it’s not that bad, or even that you should suck it up. But instead he simply doesn’t respond, and only gives you a raised eyebrow as he has some more whiskey. When he puts the glass down on the bar, you impulsively swipe it and drain it before he can interfere, waiting for an actual retort this time. 
A frown slides onto his face and you grin almost triumphantly at the reaction, pushing the empty glass back towards him, only ice cubes remaining in it now. “I think you like dramatic,” you then blurt out, and see how he blushes slightly, the red flush creeping up from his chest to his neck.
“That what you think?” His eyes flick over you, and you nod, poking him in the chest with your finger. 
“Yeah. You’re
 practical. Proper. Maybe kinda boring. You got your routine.” You really should stop talking with all that liquor in your system, but you refuse to admit he was right about you needing to sober up. “Maybe getting close to a midlife crisis? Working your job and then all the reno on your house. Don’t see you chill a whole lot.” 
You run your finger a little down his chest, then place your full hand against his shirt as you lean over to his ear. “I think you want some fun,” you whisper in his ear, barely audible due to the music playing at the party. “Somebody who shakes things up. Brings a little drama and excitement.”
Joel’s eyes are slightly unfocused from the whiskey, just like yours probably are, and you can tell that his guard is down in ways that you haven’t experienced before. “Old, huh? Boring, old, and close to a midlife crisis,” he says after a moment, a smirk on his face as he shakes his head. “But you would shake things up? Why would you bother with an old man?”
“Maybe I’m into that.” You bite your lip as you hesitate for a moment. “The whole DILF thing. And don’t think I haven’t noticed you watching me.”
His smirk widens into an actual grin now as he laughs, looking away at some commotion or a gathering that’s happening at the party. When he looks back at you, his eyes are darker than usual, and you can’t help but feel a shiver run down your spine.
“Little girl. You are in over your head.” His words are measured and quiet as he seems to pick them carefully, his hand now reaching for yours that’s still resting against his chest, and he gently pulls it off his shirt. “ Y’don’t even have a clue of what you’re playing with, darling. What are you gonna do? Rock my world? At your father’s party?”
“I don’t give a shit about his party,” you say sharply, but he shakes his head, interrupting you.
“But that’s the thing. You do,” he murmurs. “Y’couldn’t be more thrilled than to do so here, just to make a scene. Like you did with that guy.”
You feel victorious hearing him confirm that he had been watching you, and together with his ‘little girl’ comment it’s enough to make you soak your panties on the spot. “Were you jealous?”, you ask him challengingly.
He chuckles again, this time getting up from the barstool, and you take in his physique, admiring the way those tailored pants fit around his thighs. “Have some more water. And food,” he tells you, and in the split second you have before he turns away, you make up your mind. Perhaps it’s more like instinct, to do what you’ve been stopping yourself from doing for a while now. 
You grope him. 
Fingers quick as you cup him through his pants, closing around his balls and a part of his dick. It takes effort to bite back a whimper at finally feeling him, thick and hot and heavy in your hand, after all those weeks that you’ve been here and tried to figure out what the right move was. You hold his eyes defiantly, lips parted as you’d like to use your words but they all seem stuck in your throat.
His surprised intake of air when you grab him is immediate, and he looks frazzled as he shakes his head, tugging your hand abruptly away from his cock. “You out of your damn mind?”, he hisses, looking more than just a little flustered. “In front of everyfuckingbody?”
“So come insi—” The words die on your tongue when you suddenly see your mom approaching from a couple of feet behind Joel, unaware of what’s happening between the two of you, but apparently in search of you as she calls your name. Joel and you immediately step away from each other, him leaning against the bar as he seems to need a moment to compose himself. You have even less time to plaster a smile on your face for your mother, so you just nod enthusiastically as she rambles at you about some person’s son you should come meet. Your heart feels like it’s hammering out of your chest as you force yourself to tell her that you’d love to meet them, bringing a smile to your mom’s face.
Just as you’re about to join her to meet this person, your mom pauses at the bar and puts her hand on Joel’s shoulder. “By the way, he said that he could use your help with moving that thing, if you have time? Think he’s inside, couldn’t find you,” she said, and Joel nods while humming something affirmatively. His eyes flit to you for a split second before he looks down at the bar again, and he seems to wait until the two of you have moved away until he goes inside.    
You’re in a mild daze as you follow your mom through the crowd, performing the role you’re expected to play, while the moment that you grabbed Joel plays on repeat in your head. The gasp that spilled from his lips, the way he didn’t say “no” - just “in front of everybody?”, which was an entirely different thing, and frankly
 he wasn’t wrong.
You can wait. Just that little bit longer. It’ll be so worth it.
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Joel's outfit at the party (as a dress shirt and pants instead of a jumpsuit):
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series masterlist | main masterlist
Thank you for reading, commenting or reblogging - I appreciate it so very much 🙏
🚹 Follow @longlongtime-updates + turn on notifs to see when the finale drops later this week!
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biasbuck · 2 months ago
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BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fridays
We're so back baby! Happy weekend everyone, apologies for the delay whilst I've been away travelling. I HAVE been reading lots on my trains however, so here's another round of the fic I've been reading this fortnight whilst not actively flailing over the glorious new episodes. As always you can find previous rec lists here. Some light spoilers for new episodes.
6 October 2024
still the bone remembers, still it wants by @eddiebabygirldiaz in which 'Eddie goes to therapy and learns how to want. Buck helps.' Ohhh I absolutely adored following along on this ride as a wip and now it's complete in all its glory! From his childhood responsibilities looking after his sisters, through the events of season 4 and 5, Eddie struggles with identifying what he wants in life, and Frank gives him homework to make a list of simple desires for just himself. What follows is a beautiful journey of unpacking what's in his heart, with the most gorgeously in love and enamoured Buddie. The imagery in this fic melted me, from the orange tree to dancing and more. Indulgent in the best possible way. I'm still swooning from how much they love and laugh together!
tell you my sins (sharpen your knife) by @sonofatoasterwaffle from sweetness to....Hot Priest Smut! (And yet somehow, still sweet?!) This is gloriously fun and filthy and a little tongue in cheek crack treated seriously, in which Eddie deals with his recognition of his feelings for Buck by fucking a Priest about it....and makes Fleabag eat her heart out. It's 'for anyone who dreams about reclaiming pieces of the religion that hurt them in a fun and sexy way.' Featuring incredibly funny Bobby along the way. Poor guy.
oh what a terrible honor it's been (to learn that my blessings are things you call sins) by @capseycartwright on the other end of the Catholic Guilt explorations comes this 'Hey God, it's me, Eddie. I hope you don’t mind that I’m sitting in your house thinking gay thoughts.' In which Eddie seeks various methods of support in dealing with the fallout from season 7, from therapy to a veterans group to reexamining his childhood and his relationship with God. Really beautifully achey and cathartic and uplifting.
Take My Oxygen (This Plane is Going Down) by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels ahhh I had so much fun reading this! Buck is a succubus, and the firefam a mix of fae and humans in the know about the magical world. Eddie is a new recruit, and he can't help but find Buck mesmerising as they become best friends. But Buck has been coping with his inadvertently fatal (to his partners) natural state through a series of unhealthy mechanisms and it's taking its toll. When we say Eddie would step over the body to help support Buck...this is this fic! And yet it's also so supportive and sexy and a weaves in canon in such surprisingly effective ways!
the moon don't hang quite as high by @glorious-spoon in which 'after Bobby and Chris leave, Buck breaks up with his boyfriend, tries not to punch his new boss, and worries about Eddie.' I am so incredibly obsessed with the dialogue in this fic, it captures Buck and Eddie's voices and idiosyncrasies so well and the patter of their banter and friendly bickering, particularly how weird they are about their own and each others relationships (affectionate.)
The Write Way To Love by @spotsandsocks this was such a cute AU, in which Buck is an anxious children's fantasy author and Chris (and Eddie) are some of his biggest fans. Running an art competition for children to submit their drawings to be printed in his next book, the elusive E. Buckley makes a rare public appearance and bumps into single Dad Eddie, where sparks fly. Can Buck get over the voice in his head self sabotaging his path to happiness? This fic hit very close to home and I had so much fun reading it, and loved Christopher's voice in it so much!
a sweetheart (to hold when i'm alone) by @clusterbuck at all times on my Give That Man A Cat agenda, directly following on from the zoom call in 8x01, Eddie finds a stray in his back yard, adopts her and falls in love. Things might not be healed with Chris but perhaps they can take tentative steps forward. Eddie holding on to the mask even as it fractures, and yet not giving up, finding inner strength and outlets for all the love he holds in his heart.
cool dry place by @gayeddieagenda 'After a long summer, Buck and Eddie try to figure out if this is the right time.' Another which just nailed the voices so well, I love the patience of this fic, a really lovely look at restraint and allowing grace time to heal and feel surety, without punishing characters for needing time, and with a beautiful sense of precipice for a new relationship.
And finally two tumblr fics from @hotshotsxyz, the taste of iron a powerful alternate ending following 8x01 (what if Buck hadn't tackled Gerrard) with a brilliantly effective mirroring of the shooting arc, and a hilarious Brad Torrence POV fic from 8x02 this method acting (might pay our bills) in which we hear his inner monologue whilst riding in the back of the stolen fire engine with Bobby and Buck. Perfection!
That's it for this week, bee seeing you soon after Athena and Jem land this plane!
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biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer · 7 months ago
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Can you write how Geo would deal with a mc that is always sick? (Totally not cause I'm sick too)
My Remedy for your Malady. (All x Sick! MC/Reader)
Anon. First and foremost, I made you wait 5 1/2 days. I am truly, wholly sorry for this *humbly bows*. (▰ïžčïžș▰)
Secondly, I decided that I'm gonna do this for all 7 of our characters, because Jess, Brit and Deryl deserve more attention. I hope you may forgive me for my lateness, and enjoy this fic nonetheless (btw get well soon if you're not already <33).
Also I know that Jess especially is shorter (literally teehee) than the others, but I'm gonna get the hang of her eventually. Same with Deryl. >:]
ALSO, you're in an established relationship with them, so that's why they have (very legal) access to your residence!
- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer
Remedy: a medicine or treatment for a disease or injury.
Malady: a disease or ailment.
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------
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Geo was concerned when he found out you were ill.
When you didn't show up to school for the last few days, he texted you to find out why; to which you bluntly told him you felt like utter shit.
He doesn't pick up on the fact you're sick until you straight-up tell him.
Depending on what type of sick you are, he'll get the appropriate medicines/remedies and speed his way towards your home, hell, he might even skip archery, and he *never* skips archery.
Would rock up with food he knows shouldn't cause any problems or nausea for you and will probably make soup.
And you better fucking eat it.
He will feed it to you (reluctantly, but if you seriously can't do it yourself, then he'll manage).
Will ask you how the hell you fell ill anyway, and depending on your answer, he'll be either: Pissed (if you caught it from someone else), Or exasperated (if you stopped taking care of yourself or didn't equip yourself well enough to deal with the weather).
Will take care of you either way.
Will read to you in Japanese to help you sleep.
Will try to not lie near you if possible, unless absolutely needed. He does not plan on catching shit.
Will remain at your residence until you recover; unless he has classes that are either critically important and/or ones you're also in.
Will lend you his notes.
Will also take them back after a few days.
Will also just probably talk to you while you're bedridden, unless you cannot, in which case he'll simply watch you sleep, occasionally stroking your head and hair to try and comfort you.
He's trying his best, okay?
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Sol will freak when he finds out you're sick.
Doesn't care what he's got on next, he's gonna go take care of you.
Will probably feel bad for not telling Hyugo anything about suddenly vanishing
, but he'll understand right?
Will spawn outside your home with: - Medicine, - Your favourite comfort food (if you can eat it without the fear of vomiting), - Probably will bring poetry and art with him, so you both have something to do (that's not him) when you're bedridden.
Will try and hold you if possible, doesn't mind if he gets your blessed germs on him.
You'll have to tell him that you'd worry for him if he fell ill, so he'll respect that.
But he will feed you. You don't have a say in that.
You're being babied now.
He's gonna make sure everything you want (and can have when sick), you'll have.
Is honestly okay with not going to any class, he'll just ask Hyugo for notes if he hasn't been MIAing.
Covers you in blankets if you've got a cold.
If you have a fever? Ice cream. >:]
Essentially tries to uplift your mood as much as humanely possible.
This guy will do anything for you. <33
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Crowe will ensure that when he arrives at your home, you'll have everything you'll need.
Will cook your favourite food.
Will make you eat soup and light foods that are easy on the stomach.
Won't touch you, he doesn't want to fall ill, but will read to you.
He's got a soothing voice I just know it.
And he's 110% going to put you in a coma from how tired you feel when his voice hits just right.
Or maybe you're just fatigued because of your body waging a war against god-knows what kind of virus.
Will make you all forms of beverages to suit your illness, will also go out of his way to purchase any, after all, he's got the funding.
Will still go to classes, and takes extensive notes for you.
Will also tutor you the content if you're up for it.
Will stroke your hair if it's not sweaty, as a form of comfort.
Will make you feel as loved as possible.
Because that's what you deserve.
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Brittney will be appalled.
How did you get sick? More importantly...who got you sick?
She's gonna yell at them.
Or fight them.
Maybe both.
Will buy a bunch of goodies for the both of you.
She can't cook for shit, so she'll just get takeout as food and order a fuckton of cough drops and Panadol.
You're both gonna be painting each others' nails.
And spilling gossip. Oh my god, she always had gossip.
Will give you notes to subjects that are majors, or ones you share.
Other than that can't offer much.
Will sit away from you to not get sick, but she'll 110% be supporting you emotionally.
Will probably give you a massage when you get better.
Idk she gives the vibe that she would.
Is the most aggressively supportive girlfriend ever.
She only wants you to recover ASAP, and to feel as content as someone who's sick can be. <333
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Jess will be focused solely on you recovering as swiftly as humanely possible.
Is upset when she finds out you're fallen ill.
She'll drive to her home, grab the best shit she has and drives to your home.
Stays with you for days on end.
You've become her priority now, after all.
Jess is a very devoted (and lonely) girl, what can I say.
Will try and comfort you via reading to you, or listening to you talk about literally anything.
She just loves your company and you. Poor girl's been neglected her whole life.
She'll try her hardest to take care of you, and she does a very good job. (Ask Brittney teehee)
You're more than glad to have her.
And she to have you.
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Hyugo will be astounded.
You? Got sick?
Why?
Did someone make you sick???? (if so teehee someone's getting food poisoning~)
He's at your home, with everything.
Literally everything.
Blankets, movies, games, medicine, puns, your favourite food and whatever else he deems necessary.
Will hug you if you're not aggressively sneezing/coughing.
Will watch movies with you on the couch with you lying on his plush fucking thighs.
Says the most stupid shit in Japanese (such as teaching you how to hide a body) and making it sound like flirting.
Tells you jokes and puns to make you feel better, until you laugh too hard that is and almost die.
Will make food for you.
Will ramble on about random shit to you, or listen to you talk (if you can).
Literally just seeing you content is more than enough for him.
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Deryl will be SHOOKETH.
He will sprint to your fucking house. He doesn't care.
You're his only priority now.
Will magically appear at your home, and immediately hugs you.
You can be fucking dying, he doesn't care.
You're getting squashed.
Will be asking if you're okay 24/7
Until he realises he forgot to bring food.
Then he runs to get it, along with tablets, Panadol, all that jazz.
Like RUNS.
HE WILL RUN.
HE IS A FAST MOTHERFUCKER.
FAST!!!!!
Then he gets tired, so by the time he gets to the store, gets the food (and the 'goods'), he's gonna just call a fucking cab and crash at your place. (he forgot takeout existed lol)
He doesn't mind, and frankly, neither do you. The food and snacks was awesome (well, what you could eat anyway).
Will try his absolute best to take care of you, but often gets carried away with his energy. Often talks and rambles to you while you happily lay in bed next to him and listen.
Will call Geo or Jess for how to make a warm soup to feed you.
Then it becomes 'we've got Masterchefs at home'.
Shit goes crazy when Deryl's around tbh.
And you're more than happy to enjoy the ride (in more ways than one ( ͥ° ͜ʖ ͥ°)).
314 notes · View notes
iridescentdove · 1 year ago
Note
What about a Platonic! BSD x Child! Reader is very smart, like almost Ranpo-level smart, but they don’t use their smarts and intellect for anything at all except for online video games, board games, etc., and they’re lazy and don’t go outside at all. Plus, the first time Reader and Dazai had a game of chess, Dazai literally lost two moves in, and Dazai was rethinking his entire life choices in that moment because how the fu-
(How Dazai and Reader’s game of chess went *REAL* link)
WHY DO I HEAR BOSS MUSIC?
platonic!bsd x child!smart!reader
A/N: I for an odd reason, love it when characters are humbled and seen inferior 😭 I love this request too! Here it is~
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Everyone loves you.
I'm so jealous rn /j
Well as a kid it would be expected to be like that! Although, it was a little different as you were ... considered unique to other children around you. How so?
ULTRA DEDUCTION BABY.
No but for real. FUKUZAWA merely took you into the agency since you seemed to have had no parents by your side to take care of you. As such, he took on the responsibility himself. The agency takes care of you now! <3
Anyways, let's say you were basically rivalling RANPO in terms of deduction and overall smartness capabilities, as he now thinks you are a worthy opponent.
But even he himself lost to someone like DAZAI.
Yes. Of course it was true, the suicidal detective just seemed to be way too good. The so-called 'world's best detective' had lost to a man, in which who, flirts with women 24/7 and asks for double suicide everywhere he went.
But to say the day came when brunette's demise lurked around the corner ... because of a chess game.
The agency had nothing important going on in particular as the peace of Yokohama was maintained in the meantime. Simply put, you guys were on vacation. So what else to do other than some old family bonding?
There were lots of activities planned that day, and everyone had enjoyed it to the fullest. You did also find it fun, but ... of course, for someone your age – you were mature as fuck.
And so, you did what everyone wouldn't have the balls to do.
Challenge DAZAI OSAMU himself to a chess match.
So obviously, everyone got a bit nervous. Pretty sure you had no idea how smart the suicidal maniac was, nor did they ever believe you would last a good 'ol round even once. By some experience of a certain detective – there is absolutely no one better than DAZAI himself.
The chess game went on. You looked so cute and innocent! Maybe he should go easy on you?? After all, you're just a kid.
And yet ... he was downright horrified.
In a matter of four turns in, the death-craving young man was absolutely OBLITERATED by you. Upon the match ending, a pin drop silence was heard. Eyes widened in shock, whom even RANPO himself never imagined such. Everyone never spoke, not even coughed for a solid 5 minutes.
But it was true. You DID defeat him. FUKUZAWA had the face of a very proud parent – he really didn't think you'd emerge victory in this small innocent match.
The president promised to treat you out next time a successful mission was in tow. Of course, DAZAI couldn't believe he had lost to you! A little child!
It would definitely take a lot of time for him to wrap his head around that – but once he does, oh boy.
I think you a little crazy there uncle ahaha
He almost literally brags about your existence everyday to anyone. You can't tell me he hasn't literally shoved in and mocked in front of people's faces with that shit eating grin of his oh my fucking God 😭
Then again, no one is safe. An even better gifted than the two greatest treasures of the Armed Detective Agency.
FYODOR better be shaking in his fugly ass boots.
You're coming for him alright. (and so am I)
Honestly, the ADA cannot be anymore proud to have an ally like you by their side. Missions and war would cease to exist from how well you managed to help them. And even moreso, combined with RANPO himself.
World destruction who?? I only know (Y/N) (L/N) 😍
Your existence is known, everyone knows about what you've done and how respected you are despite your young age.
Who tf let the Port Mafia fuck ya'll up?? Oh nevermind they were destroyed because of ur amazing little ass. The Hunting Dogs tryna tear apart the ADA which was mistaken as terrorists? Umh chill anyways so you already had a plan– RANPO doesn't know what to do for once? You're already there to help. Decay of the Angels? Lives up to their name, they're decaying under your superior brain and intellect.
You're just found to be the lifeline of the agency. In return, everyone treats you very well (spoils you even), making sure you lived your days as a child to the best extreme possible.
And to be frank – no one dare underestimate you anymore.
577 notes · View notes
twstfanblog · 10 months ago
Text
*~Period Drama~* Monday-Extended
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A/N: SCREAMS EVEN LOUDER. So excited to share this with you guys! Sorry it took me so long to update the series, I took a winter break along with getting ill on the first fucking day of the new year. Another thank you to @bun-lapin for allowing me to use their lovely OCs for this fic series! I love them so much and I'm having so much fun playing with them! Word Count: 6K (This is literally just half the part omfg...) Warnings: She/They Pronouns OC, (Poorly written fight scene, Lilia) Pairings: YuuxJamilxAzulxMalleus (Poly) ~Taglist(Oh wow this got big) @twistedcece @deltrea @krenenbaker @koebishrimpuwu @cat100200 @emyluwinter @obsessionswithfandoms @ady-hilborn @lucid-stories @girl-nahh-two @itz-hydrodeptus-foxy7 @chyluna @riddlesimps @death-the-jo @a-twistedheartslonging @qixlin @chaosistheonlyway @welcome-to-my-horde @abell2029cluster @kirans-wonderland @coffee-or-hot-cocoa @the-ace-reader @iamsoconfusedallofthetime Start, Part 2 (Octavinelle), Part 3 (Heartslabyul), Part 4 (Savanaclaw), Part 4.5 (Here), Part 5 (Diasomnia pt.2), Part 6 (Pomefiore), Part 7 (Scarabia)
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Silver was concerned, he could say that truthfully now.
He sat beside Malleus, the horned fae sitting between him and his father pouting. Across from them were Sebek and his friends, minus Yuu and Ortho. The fact the prefect was missing from the ensemble being the reason Malleus was pouting again.
Early Saturday morning, Yuu had contacted Malleus and canceled their planned weekend outings. Only stating they weren't feeling up to doing much for the weekend due to a surprise occurrence, promising to see him on Monday during lunch. Bad news that was only doubled by their dorm advisor telling Malleus he was forbidden to enter Ramshackle grounds until further notice. Silver could still remember the sound of Malleus' dejected cello playing, the chords seeming to echo through all of Diasomnia as the rain outside nearly flooded the dorm. 
Lilia had managed to improve Malleus’ mood that morning with the fact he was going to see Yuu soon. Only to have his hopes crushed once again at Epel's sheepish explanation that Yuu was still sick. And now the incomplete ‘Firstie Squad’ all squished onto one long couch while he, Lilia, and a sulking Malleus sat on another.
The longer the silence lasted, the longer Silver had a chance to really observe Sebek. As his father was busy keeping Malleus from throwing a tantrum, Silver watched Sebek sit with absolute poise and hands clasped together so tight he feared for his bones. Sebek also refused to look him in the eyes, a bead of sweat keeping a trembling presence on his temple as he kept completely silent. A feat that Silver realized the half-fae had managed since early Saturday evening

Jack had been quick to state they were skipping 3rd period because Sebek wasn't feeling well, bringing him back to the dorm to keep him company since no one was allowed at Ramshackle. Deuce had noticed him when they entered the dorm, doing a double take with wide eyes as he mumbled about him being a second year under his breath. He asked him frantically, hands grasping tight to his shoulders, if he was also sick, if he had been to the school that day. Silver slowly explained that; no, he had not. He chose to stay in the dorm in an effort to right his internal clock. A task his father and Malleus had been helping with since the 3rd years didn't have classes until after lunch that day.
Just as the grandfather clock chimed, indicating the start of the lunch period, Malleus stood from the couch with a sigh, “Enough waiting. If my lover is ill and unable to attend school, I can simply gather their work and bring it to them.”
Lilia giggles, standing along with Malleus as they start to walk toward the massive double doors leading out of the dorm, “A wonderful idea, Malleus! And since you'll already be there it's not out of the question to sit and visit with them. I'm sure some tea and conversation is just what they need-”
“NO!”
Everyone jumps, staring wide-eyed at Sebek's almost screeching outburst. The half-fae sat more hunched in on himself, shoulders up to his ears as he looked down in embarrassment at the desperate voice crack that echoed through the room. Silver only felt his concern growing as he saw how flushed Sebek's face was getting, as if he was struggling to physically hold something in, “Sebek
Are you okay?”
Epel chimes in, eyes wide in what Silver could only call panic, as he leaned to block their view of Sebek, “That's right! Sebek's sick! You guys should, like, stay and help us heal him up or whatever!”
Malleus and Lilia share a glance before Lilia addresses the freshmen, “Sebek seems to have more than enough support with you four. Add on Silver and I'm sure no illness will last long.”
With a soft smile, Malleus holds a hand out to address Sebek, “As a show of our bond, I will gather your work as well, Sebek. I know you wouldn't want poor health to interrupt your studies.”
Malleus turns away to walk toward the door, only to freeze mid-step at the truly pathetic-sounding whine that echoes through the air. The fae turns back around, eyes wide as he looks at Sebek curled into himself and trying to hide his entire being the best he could in Ace’s lap, “...Sebek?”
Lilia steps forward, worry slowly bleeding onto his face as he taps his chin, “Maybe I can stay back a bit longer and make you some nice and healthy stew
?”
Malleus and Silver share a more concerned look at the idea of Lilia's cooking. Silver makes quick glances at the door as a silent plea for Malleus to escape and bring back some form of relief.
“Perhaps I should find madame Oster or professor Crewel to secure a tonic for Sebek
and lunch of our guests-”
Deuce feels Sebek's panicked grasp on his arm. The half fae too embarrassed to possibly make another sound but begging them to help him keep Malleus from entering the school, “DRACONIA-SENPAI! YOU SHOULD STAY AND READ SEBEK A BEDTIME STORY INSTEAD! T-TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER!” By the Seven, he's so sorry, Sebek

“...” Malleus looks to the side, pondering the idea with honest intensity, “Well, I'm not opposed
”
CLICK-CLUNK
Everyone turns, watching the massive front doors of the dorm slowly have their locks twisted shut. Intricate designs coming alive and moving across the wood and stone to turn the ominous castle into an inescapable prison. In front of the doors stood Hui-Yan, dorm advisor to Diasomnia, clipping the black metal key back to her hip before she turned to the group with a stern expression, “No one is leaving the dorm until further notice.”
Lilia looks at Hui-Yan with wide eyes, ruby irises glancing at the now magically barricaded doors and windows before drifting back to the eastern woman, “Why
?”
“Because, I said so.”
Silver couldn't see it, but he knows his father's eye twitched.
Hui-Yan was the dorm advisor to Diasomnia, something he wasn't entirely sure if his father actually agreed with. The Eastern woman was a threat in all aspects; beautiful, deadly, and cold. Though some (Sebek) spoke ill of how she wielded her power over the dorm, none of them could deny the woman was an icon of nobility, even without a formal title. She was also his and Sebek's personal close combat tutor. How his father convinced her of it he'd never know. But, he would like to have moments without the near-constant threat of being ambushed on his way to the bathroom in the middle of the night

“I just don't see why we're not allowed out of the dorm. Have we done something wrong, dear advisor?” Lilia walked closer to Hui-Yan, a tight smile on his lips as he openly stared at the key latched to her hip.
“Are you questioning my authority, Vanrouge?”
“...” Lilia took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he leaned away from the golden-eyed teacher, “No ma'am.” Lilia knew he couldn't risk a bunch of impressionable teen boys getting the idea that mutiny was an accepted idea in any form

“I should hope not. So as I said, no one is allowed out of the dorm until further notice.” she gestures to the empty space beside both of them, “Stand aside.”
Lila stepped over, a tight smile on his face as he let her walk past him, “...” his smile turns teasing, “But
since this does deal with the future of the Draconia bloodline, I believe I outrank you in this matter, so~...”
In a move faster than any of them could follow, Lilia closed the distance between himself and Hui-Yan. He quickly snatched the key from the loop on her hip, only pulling away a few inches before her hand was gripping his wrist.
She glared at Lilia's jovial expression, trying to tug the fae's hand closer only to find resistance, “Release the key, Vanrouge.”
“Nope~.”
Hui-Yan's eyes seem to glow as she snarls, leaning closer to growl in Lilia's face, “Release it
”
“Oh!” Lilia leans in just as close, his teasing smile turning into an almost seductive smirk as he growled back, voice deepening, “Are we growling now?”
“What the fuck?” Ace quietly spoke from couches, the other students in the room watching the display with uncomfortable expressions.
Silver catches eyes with Malleus. While the first years were preoccupied watching the growing struggle between Lilia and their increasingly angered dorm advisor, Silver made quick glances toward the side of the lounge area. While the key locked down the dorm so to speak, it left a single side entrance open for exit only. A small fact that his father had shared once he and Sebek started to search for Malleus at night.
Malleus perks up, smiling in thanks at Silver before looking over his shoulder. Lilia and Hui-Yan had escalated to nearly flinging the other around in an effort to gain control of the key. At a decently brutal slam Lilia took to the floor, yet he didn't release his hold on the key, Malleus took that as his sign to exit stage left.
He had just barely walked out of the room, a pep in his step as he fantasized about how happy his dearest lover would be to see him. Turning the corner he jumped as a voice nearly rivaling Sebek's rang out.
“MALLEUS IS LEAVING!”
Malleus doubles back to glare at the panicked-looking wolf beastman. He'd certainly remember to attend the next dorm lead meeting, if only to speak to Leona about his supposed standards for tattle-tales in his dorm. But, his glare as cut off as he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, Hui-Yan had him in her sights. He moved back behind the corner, teleporting to the door to gain as much distance as he could from the infuriated woman.
His hand touched the knob, nearly crushing it in his surprise as the doors leading to the small entryway burst open as Lilia's body flew through the air. Malleus looks on in mild horror as Lilia rolls on the floor, the older fae groaning as he slowly stood to his feet. With his sensitive hearing, he knew Hui-Yan was somehow not far behind.
“Should
I stay?”
Lilia laughed wildly, shaking off his jacket and loosening his tie as he cracked his neck side to side, “Worry not! I can handle her just fine
” Lilia dropped to the floor, positioned to start a sprint as he smiled to Malleus, “Say hello to Yuu for me, okay?”
Hui-Yan slammed the half-closed doors open, eyes blazing, “MALLE-UGH!”
Malleus watched with wide eyes as Lilia made a full tackle to Hui-Yan's stomach. The force of it enough to send them both flying through the doorway and crashing a good few feet down the hall. He stands in almost stunned surprise watching the two of them punch and tumble along the floor in a flurry of movement.


Well, it'd do him no good to stay there

Malleus opened the door, casting one last concerned look to Lilia seemingly fighting for his life before he was off toward the school.
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Stepping through the mirror, Malleus stopped beside a group of passing beastmen. He could barely raise his hand in greeting before the cat beastman gained a look of pure horror. He grabbed at his posse, shoving and dragging the other stunned and fearful-looking beastmen with him into the Heartslabyul mirror.
“...” He huffs, turning away and continuing his journey toward the school. He thought his reputation had improved. Of course, it wasn't enough for students to openly walk up and speak to him, but he could at least wave without them running in fear of his stature. Maybe he also needed to speak to Riddle

The short walk to the main building only soured his mood more, students left and right were practically diving to leave his line of sight. He could slightly understand why, his expression must have been terrifying to have a passing canine Ignihyde student completely crumble to his knees. The dog beastman simply muttering to himself ‘Game over, game over.’
If this was a game, Malleus was not enjoying it. Just as the school building came into view, a scent seemed to tickle at his senses. Inhaling deep it was as if time itself stood still. He stopped at the base of the stairs, eyes staring unblinking at the looming castle in front of him. The smell was sweet, like fresh ripe fruits ready to be plucked from branches and eaten. A spice of some type of pepper, spicy and a hinted flavor to accompany the fruit’s juices. A flower he could not name, but so delicate in its scent he always feared breathing it in too harshly. The scent of his child of man, his dearest love and future partner for life.
And the second scent, the one that coated that first like the inky black tar of blot. Iron, heavy, rusted, and fresh. Blood, he smelled his love and blood.
He barely noticed, eyes locked on the school,  how the clouds gathered and darkened the sky. He entered the building, his storm slowly overtaking the sun with volatile green flashes trapped inside it. He didn't even care for the fear that was thick in the air at his presence, he needed to trace the scent of his poor injured lover.
Following the trail, he swings open a door and growls as his eyes scan the room. Professors looked up in surprise at his entrance, mugs frozen in the air at mid-sip. But he doesn't find Yuu. His growl grew in severity, electricity crackling around his body before he turned and slammed the door back closed behind him, ignoring the sounds of panic from within the room. The scent still went further into the school, then the field, then back into the school. Each new location giving him no relief from the maddening scent.
Opening a door only to be greeted with an empty classroom, Malleus let out a completely horrific growl. The sound of it almost clicking in his throat as it echoed vaguely in the air. His horns felt warm, the ridges slowly gaining a violent green glow as his worry steadily morphed into anger.
“...can't let him find out.”
“I'm aware, Jamil, but Lilia isn't answering and I can't distract him if I don't know where he is.”
Malleus's eyes snap to the corner, standing still as both Jamil and Azul walked around the corner. Azul was typing furiously on his phone, panic clear in eyes and nearly running into Malleus's prone form. Luckily, Jamil was still aware of his surroundings to stop Azul from walking into the ticking time bomb that was Malleus Draconia. 
Azul looks up as Jamil tugs him back, eyes widening as what little color he had drained from his face. He's quick to plaster a wide smile on his face, clasping his hands together as if he was trying to pray for mercy, “Draconia-San! What a
lovely surprise! I wasn't aware you were
going to be in school today
”
“...” He couldn't smell Yuu on either of them, not more than he normally could. Not to mention the smell of blood was just too strong for Malleus to fully focus on his ‘lovers in law’. As they stood in silence, Malleus waited for them to answer his unasked question. When they didn't, he hissed out, “Where?”
Azul perks up with a questioning hum, ignoring Jamil’s frantic grip to the back of his jacket, “Where
is what, Draconia-San?”
“Yuu, where is Yuu?”
“Yuu! Ah
ahahaha
well
you see
maybe we could sit outside and speak about it-”
Malleus stood over Azul, leaning into the cecaelian's face as he whispered harshly, “Either tell me where they are or you will go missing next
”
Azul simply smiled up at Malleus, sweat doting his forehead as he struggled to think up an excuse to curb the fae's anger.
Instead, Jamil sighed, bringing both their attention to himself, “We don't know where Yuu is. They cut their last class.” He braces himself against the overwhelming force of Malleus's magic pouring out, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end, “Draconia-Sama
It may do you well to calm-”
Malleus fully turns to Jamil, fangs bared as he bites out, “How are you two this calm?” his eyes quickly look back to Azul, the Mer seeming to fully lose the color in his face, “How are you not in just a state as I am? Can you not smell the blood?”
The hall was quiet, neither Azul nor Jamil suddenly having the will to look Malleus in the eye. The fae looks between them in mild confusion, surely they'd be just as worried as he was. He knew they were still in the budding beginnings of their own relationship, but they were all more than fond of Yuu. They should be worried
unless.
The anger that builds in Malleus was palpable, the ridges on his horns glowing even brighter as he realized, “You knew.” Their silence only showed how guilty they were, Malleus nearly roared as electricity cracked along his body, “You both knew, and didn't tell me!?”
“It wasn't from any malicious means!” Azul somehow kept smiling, though from the look in his eyes and the tremble in his hands, Malleus knew it was more a fear response than any type of mocking.
“Well, tell me now. Why is our lover harmed and neither of you aware of their location?” their new round of silence was truly an insult at this point. He took deep, controlled breaths. They weren't working, the lights flickering in and out as his anger rose, “Well?”
“...” Jamil spoke up again, closing his eyes as though preparing for his own death, “We were sworn to secrecy-”
The growl Malleus released fully echoed through the halls, deep and ancient-sounding reverbs sending students into blind panic. Lights flickered and flashed before bursting overhead and sending the halls into darkness. He didn't bother responding to Jamil’s ludicrous statement, brushing past the two and following the fading scent of blood outside.
Jamil released a breath, his hand still gripping to the back of Azul's jacket. Looking over he grimaced. Azul was trembling, a panicked smile still plastered on his face as his eyes watered behind his cracked glasses, “Azul?”
The Mer turned to Jamil, lips parting to manage out a terrified squeak.
He sighs, pulling Azul along to drop him off at the nurse's office.
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Bucchi tried to run from him, the hyena breaking out into a sprint as Grim did the second he locked his eyes on his form. He truly didn't blame him, Malleus could only think about the vision he made at the moment. Glowing horns, angered expression, the violent storm following his every step was also unhelpful. But Bucchi was nothing if not a survivor. It wasn't long after he had caught him that he stated Leona had taken Yuu home. That they were sick with some type of alien ailment.
As Malleus walked through the woods, his annoyance only grew with every step. He couldn't simply teleport to Ramshackle, the storm would easily destabilize without him to guide its path. While it could end the storm, it'd more likely cause it to go wild and turn into a literal hurricane. The campus may be filled with traitorous liars, but he couldn't allow such a fate to befall the local gargoyles. Many were far too old and fragile to withstand such a tempest
so walking it is.
The winds had easily blown away any scent of the blood, but the knowledge that Yuu was in Ramshackle was all he needed. Though he perks up, the smell of floral sand peeking through the winds. Bucchi had said Leona had taken Yuu home. Had he caught up to them? His expression fell when he only saw Leona walking the path. He huffs, eyes moving away and toward the peeking tip of Ramshackle's towers. Only to be hit in the chest with a powerful bolt.
Malleus slid back a few feet, momentarily stunned as he looked at Leona. The beastman kept walking toward him, pen glowing brightly grasped in his hand as he glared.
“Turn around. You're not seeing them like this.”


“Kingscholar, I truly never thought I would see the day you'd forfeit your life so easily
”
Leona has the gall to smirk, “Good. Cause I'm not, and you’re not going to Ramshackle throwing a fucking tantrum.”
The winds pick up around them, Malleus taking long strides to move past Leona, “You have no right to tell me I can't see them.” He dodged the second blast Leona sent his way. But the third was shot in quick succession the moment he moved to dodge the first, sending him another few feet back. He snarled, eye twitching as he snapped his head back up to Leona, “Kingscholar!”
“Draconia. Anyone ever tell you you’re a sturdy bitch?” he hisses, managing to dodge and fling up a shield against the onslaught of lightning. 
It was a dangerous dance for too long. On any other day, Malleus would find Leona's efforts to fight him adorable, admirable even, slightly impressive he had lasted this long one-on-one with him. But in that moment it only served to infuriate him further, willingly turning a deaf ear to Leona's words.
Leona huffed, a bead of sweat forming against his temple as he cast another shield for the dragon fae to slam into and lose speed. It wasn't enough to trap him, but he could still get a sense of enjoyment watching Malleus smack into the invisible walls, “Honestly. People have the nerve to call me stubborn when you can't even be bothered to listen.”
“Enough
”
A wave of lightning rushes directly toward Leona. The beastman clicks his tongue, changing his stance to crouch down and condense a shield around his smaller form. It was the only way he'd be able to make a spell strong enough to withstand the power Malleus threw around like nothing.
But Leona knew him getting hit wasn't Malleus's true goal. He simply needed his defensive range to shrink, giving him ample space to finally speed past him and to Ramshackle. He bit his lip, hating to leave his success to chance. He'd have one shot

Malleus didn't care that Leona had managed to keep track of him through the spell and electricity. He didn't care about Leona anymore. Instead he readied himself to launch past the downed beastman, more than likely to pass by him and arrive directly to his lover's door. He dashed forward and his eyes widened as multiple things happened at once.
Surprisingly, Leona's shield drops in an elegant movement that redirects the still striking lightning away from his outstretched hand. Heartbreakingly, through the lightning strikes and howling winds, he hears the gut wrenching sobs of Yuu echoing from Ramshackle. Annoyingly, he feels Leona's hand tangle in his hair and pull hard. Managing to stop him mid sprint and to pull him off his feet, sending him falling to the ground hard on his back.
For a brief moment the winds stop, leaving only Leona's labored breathing and the sounds of distance rumbles. Malleus blinks, thoughts racing as he slowly propped himself up from the ground by his elbows. Yuu was crying. This illness was severe enough to make them cry. Kingscholar had thrown him. Yuu was alone and in pain and they hadn't even tried to call for him
others knew and he wasn't
important enough to know
Kingscholar had gripped him by the hair and tossed him like a sack of thorn forsaken potatoes.
Malleus blinks, looking up to the panting beastman standing over him. Only now did he realize how dark Leona's mage stone had become, how tired the other 3rd year looked.
Leona drops to a knee, hissing as he hit the dirt path harder than he was prepared for. Catching his breath he finally pockets his pen and rolls his sore shoulder, “Are you gonna fucking listen now?”
“They're crying
”
“Yeah.” Leona sighs, a hand pinching the bridge of his nose then dragging it through sweat misted hair, “As I've been telling you for the past twenty minutes. Yuu's going through some shit right now and isn't emotionally stable. And this-” he gestures to all of Malleus, ignoring the pout that the fae gains, “-is the last thing they should deal with right now
”
Malleus keeps quiet, glare slowly easing and casting his eyes to the ground. Without a word he pushes himself up, not offering a hand to Leona but watching in mild concern as the beastman groaned standing. He sighs, closing his eyes and only growing more distressed as his ears picked up more of Yuu's sobs, “Why didn't they call for me
?”
Leona shrugs, holding back his hiss as his muscles protest, “From what I can gain, this is a normal thing that happens. You know Yuu doesn't like talking about their original world. Not in a way that we'd want anyway
The heightened emotions made them realize some things and they're going through the motions.”
“They're crying as though someone is dead
”
Leona's eyes drift to the side, a soft sorrow in his own expression, an ear twitching as he listens to Yuu cry, “Yeah
crying alone helps sometimes when everything feels like shit. They'll be fine.”
“...” The wind blows, the hairs on the back of Malleus's neck raise as it brings a hint of blood back to his nose, “Did they say the
blood is normal?”
“Bleeding's the main function of it apparently
” Leona groans, stretching his back until a pop sounds, “Look. I'm not gonna hold your hand about this. Yuu's not feeling well and they'll tell you when they're ready to deal with your smothering.” Leona gives Malleus a single pat to his shoulder, gripping to push against the prone fae, “Go back to your dorm. If you go to see them right now, it's just gonna get you both into a tantrum
”
He didn't want to. He didn't want to leave, didn't want to listen to Leona's commands of all people. His dearest was hurting, alone
but they didn't call for him, they didn't call for anyone

Malleus looks to the tips of the trees, Ramshackle's green shingles only gently bristled from the winds. Even with Yuu's sobs echoing in his ears, he finally lets Leona push him to turn around. He looks at the other 3rd year, voice soft, “They'll be ok without me
?”
Leona looks at him, sighing before he pats at Malleus's shoulder. The hand slips away and Leona walks ahead of him, “Send them a message in the morning. They'll call if they need someone. But, you can stand to get off your pedestal enough to ask for an invitation
”
Malleus watches Leona's tired body walk away, the beastman disappearing over the hill and through the trees. Giving one last look to the lone dorm, Malleus feels his heart go out to the heart broken person alone inside. He could still go, ignore Leona's efforts and simply walk to Ramshackle and ask to be let in. But
Yuu didn't want to see him nor anyone at the moment. It's why they hadn't called for him, why they sent Leona away. They wanted to be alone, and he couldn't fathom why

But, he turned on his heel, walking the same path Leona had long disappeared from. As he walked the clouds thickened over head, darkening until a soft sprinkle had started to mist the campus.
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The scene Malleus walked into was
comical. But it did little to lift his mood.
Surprisingly the locks and barricades had been lifted from the dorm, letting him walk in freely to Hui-Yan being tugged by her arms by Sebek's friends Deuce and Jack. Silver and Sebek both held onto Lilia's legs, trying to pull their mentor from the death lock Hui-Yan's legs made around his throat. It was painfully counterproductive if Lilia's blue-tinted face was anything to go by. The one-on-one fight seemed to have pulled everyone in, Silver and the first years looking at least mildly disheveled and lightly bruised. On one of the couches sat Ace, head tilted back as Epel yelled at him to not tilt his head back.
“You're gonna swallow blood, you dumbass!”
The thunder crack makes everyone jump and freeze, eyes quickly turning to his figure in the doorway. Malleus looked to the ground, already fully shamed as Hui-Yan glared at him. He spoke clearly, bending at the waist to bow in apology to his dorm advisor, “I humbly apologize. You were right to try to keep me in the dorm and I feel deep regret at the trouble I've caused you
”
Hui-Yan doesn't reply, simply unlocking her legs and causing Silver and Sebek to fall to the ground mid pull. Lilia took loud gasping breaths as he choked on air. The woman stands, rotating her arms to easily remove Jack and Deuce’s hold. She points toward Malleus, eyes glaring.
“When I tell you to not do something, it's for the benefit of you and everyone around you.”
“I understand professor Hui-Yan. I apologize
”
His only reply was a stiff nod, Hui-Yan turning to the first years, “You lot are coming with me, I'm delivering you to either your housewardens or your dorm advisor.”
They clearly didn't want to leave, but none of them wanted to be Hui-Yan's next victim. Not to mention the concerned glances they all sent toward Sebek. Each of them flinching at Hui-Yan's demand of ‘Line up’. The first years slowly lining up to be lead out of the dorm.
Deuce whispered toward Hui-Yan, “We tried to help
”
“You failed. March.”
Malleus walked past the first-years, eyes downcast and missing the pleading look Sebek was sending them. He sat on the couch in front of the fireplace, ignoring the first-years all trying to state they were helping and shouldn't be punished. The bitter feeling in him grew as he realized that they knew and deemed it necessary to keep him in the dark.
The creaking echo of the large double doors shutting leaves the lounge empty, silent. Soon Sebek and Silver join him on the couch, Silver placing a comforting arm on his shoulder.
“Were you able to talk to Yuu?”
“...” he sighs, shaking his head and staring into the fire, “They're truly ill
though I must say I'm saddened by the fact
they didn't call for me
”
Lilia had made his way toward them, flopping onto the couch as he wheezed and coughed, “Oh dear. The poor thing really is sick? We should still go see how they're doing
but
maybe tomorrow. Rest is after all the best medicine for ailments
” Just like how his bruised neck will be healed by the next morning light

Silver nodded, smiling in hopes it would help raise Malleus's mood, “You can check on Yuu tomorrow. For now they can simply rest and-”
“It's not that simple!” Malleus stood from the couch, the fire flaring up along with his emotions. The horned fae scowled, pacing along the floor with clenched fists, “It isn't a simple illness. It's something from their world that we seem to have no understanding of!”
Lilia trades a concerned look with Silver, quickly standing back up to try and lead Malleus back to his seat, “Is it serious? Do we need to send for one of the palace physicians? I know the faculty have decided to avoid any kind of hospital visits, but surely one of the-”
Malleus shakes his head, scowl slowly looking more like a pout, “The faculty knows, their friends know, Azul and Jamil know, Leona knew before me. It's disheartening Lilia! For Yuu to be affected by such an illness that makes them bleed and cry and not be even alerted!”
Sebek flinches, eyes quickly looking anywhere but at Malleus while Silver and Lilia's expressions turn even more concerned.
“Bleeding? They're bleeding!?”
Lilia felt a new wave of adrenaline coursing through his body. Brain racking through years of travel to pinpoint any diseases he came across that resulted in bleeding, “We can
we can go over and check ourselves!”
“No
”
“Malleus.” Lilia gripped onto the once again sulking fae, nails threatening to rip into his school jacket, “Malleus if this is as serious as you state, they need a doctor.”
“Leona has assured me it's ‘natural’. Yuu will have to suffer through this ailment and then they will be returned to proper health
” Malleus looks away, frowning at his reflection in the grand window. Raindrops hitting against the glass, he brings a hand up to touch the pane, “I'm just
upset. They've been dealing with this for who knows how long
and they never reached out to me for comfort or remedy.”
Silver frowns, “Oh
this may be why Yuu canceled your outings?”
Malleus sighs again. If that were true then Yuu had been dealing with this ailment since Saturday. Everyone knew since Saturday
Yuu's friends most likely found out on Saturday, if not on Sunday
Malleus looks outside, frowning as he takes notice of Sebek facing away from him in the reflection of the window. Odd. Sebek normally focused all his attention to him when he was in this foul a mood. Malleus also realized that Sebek had been strangely quiet since he came back from classes early. No
Sebek had been quiet that morning as well. In fact
when was the last time he heard Sebek's echoing call? It was sometime on the weekend he realized, around
Saturday.
Thunder roared, a bright flash of lightning hitting dangerously close to the window making both Silver and Lilia jump in poorly held in surprise. Malleus turned in time with the flash of lightning, catching Sebek's terrified glance before the half-fae quickly turned his head away. He walked to Sebek's hunched-over form, bending at his waist and staring unblinkingly into Sebek's panic-filled eyes.
“...Sebek. Is there something you'd like to tell me?”
Lilia and Silver watched in mute astonishment as Sebek's face slowly cracked, his lemon green eyes quickly filling with tears as his bottom lip wobbled, “I
I
” He turned away, thrusting his phone just past Malleus's face in an effort to not slam it into the fae's nose. “I'M SO SORRY, WAKA-SAMA!!!” Sebek couldn't speak in clear sentences, a jumble of sounds escaping him between his sobs.
Lilia quickly walked over, ready to try to console Sebek as Silver looked surprised. The 2nd year gazed at Sebek as if he was truly seeing him for the first time, “Sebek you know how to keep secrets? From Malleus?”
“Silver, now is
not the time to be focused on that.” Lilia gave a pinched expression, arms already filled with sobbing crocodile fae.
“You can't fault me for being surprised.”
“I can and I will young man. Sebek is sobbing his heart out and-” Lilia stops short, watching Malleus's expression change from empty to slowly enraged, “Malleus
?” 
Silver leans closer to Lilia, watching in mild fear as the ridges of Malleus's horn light up, electricity crackling around him wildly the more he read off of Sebek's phone. With what could only be described as a death rattle, Sebek's phone fizzes out and was crushed in Malleus's hand with a heavy crunch.
Other than the horned fae's heavy breathing and Sebek's subdued sobbing, the room was completely silent. Malleus manages to calm himself, the destroyed phone slipping through his fingers as a serene expression crosses his face. As though the very act of crushing something with his bare hands was the true relief he needed that afternoon.
Malleus turns his gaze to Sebek, “Apologies for your phone Sebek. I will ensure you are given a proper replacement on my own expense.”
With a wet sniffle, Sebek nods his head, still afraid to leave the comfort of Lilia's shoulder, “Thank you Waka-Sama
”
“You're still in trouble.”
“Understood Waka-Sama.” Sebek replies, shoulders already shaking with a new wave of tears choking him up.
“Now, if you'll excuse me. I must send a digital message to my lover to request a meeting tomorrow.” With a subdued bow, Malleus disappears in a flash of green light.
Lilia pats at Sebek's back, cooing lightly, “You're not in trouble Sebek, I assure you.”
“T-thank you, Lilia-Samaaaaaaaaaa.”
“Okay
let it out
”
Silver reaches over, a single hand patting at Sebek's hair in comfort, “Well, I'm glad to see I made the correct choice in not going to school today.”
“Silver.”
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ronancexists · 9 months ago
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Hi everyone. I haven't been able to stop thinking about Hazbin Hotel since it came out. I just wanted to get this thought out there and share it with people to see if anyone else has been thinking about it or if it's just me.
So, we all know that Alastor has made a deal of his own, but we don't know with who. I know a lot of people theorize that it's Lilith, and I did too until I watched season 1 again, specifically episodes 7 & 8.
In episode 7, Alastor and Charlie finally make a deal. Alastor told Charlie that the exorcists can be killed, and return, she's going to owe him favors of his choosing in which she doesn't have to harm anybody. I was surprised he didn't want Charlie's soul, but considering she is the daughter of Lilith and Lucifer, Alastor probably didn't want to take the chance of incurring Lucifer's wrath in that way instead of the petty way he did in episode 5.
At first, I was thinking maybe he didn't want it because of a deal he made with Lilith where he couldn't harm Charlie and that's why he's invested in the hotel and in helping her, but then the lyric where he says "she's filled with potential that I could guide" suggests maybe he didn't want Charlie's soul because owning her soul wouldn't be helpful to him in accomplishing whatever he's plotting. Maybe he just really needs her and her power, and by owning her soul, he'd diminish her power. Kind of like with Husk.
Then, in episode 8, the finale song, Alastor has a line that goes "The constraints of my deal surely have a back door." That line in particular is what got me into analyzing Alastor and everything he's done so far. Him saying, or I guess singing, that could possibly mean he didn't make a deal with Charlie to hold it over Lilith. It means he still hasn't figured out a loophole to the deal he made, and I know a lot of people who are on board with the whole "Alastor and Lilith made a deal" theory think the reason he wanted to make a deal with Charlie was to use it to get off of Lilith's leash. But that line he sings could mean that he wanted Charlie to make a deal with him for another reason and that he still has a lot of work to do in discovering a way he could get out of his own.
After all, we are all well aware of the fact that all the songs serve a purpose in moving the story along. Not to mention that they're all freaking bangers. Which is why that lyric has started this whole "What if..." thing with Alastor and the leash Husk revealed he's on.
That being said, it's definitely not a coincidence that he and Lilith were both missing for 7 years, and the fact that Zestial said in episode 4 that there are rumors Alastor "fell into holy arms" suggests that Alastor might have indeed figured out a way to get to Heaven, and perhaps he did meet Lilith while he was there and struck a deal with her.
I'm open to either one of these theories, but I do think it would be kind of neat if I was right and that it turned out Alastor didn't make a deal with Lilith at all, instead it was with somebody else. Maybe someone we've already met, or maybe somebody we haven't.
But regardless of what happens, I love this show and I can't wait for season 2!
Please let me know what you guys think. This thought has been niggling my brain for a while and I just needed to get it out somewhere.
P.S.- A list of things I want to see in season 2 and beyond:
- CHARLIE AND VAGGIE CHARLIE AND VAGGIE CHARLIE AND VAGGIE CHARLIE AND VAGGIE CHARLIE AND VAGGIE CHARLIE AND VAGGIE
- As in kisses, cuddles, adorableness, (maybe even a sex scene considering they did an entire episode with Angel & his pornos), Vaggie carrying Charlie as they fly around Hell
- Not to mention an ENTIRE SONG sung by the two of them. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely ADORE THE SHIT out of the reprise of ''More Than Anything," but these two need a FULL fucking song together
- More of Carmilla and Vaggie bonding and being badasses together
- Angel and Husk becoming a thing
- Learn more about what Lilith and Alastor have been up to while they've both been gone for 7 years
- What Heaven is going to do now that Adam is dead and the Extermination failed
- Also is Heaven or Emily or Sera or ANYONE even gonna ADDRESS the fact that Vaggie was revealed to be a fallen exterminator angel in episode 6?!?! Like I'm sorry but Adam dropped that fucking bomb and the only reaction they showed was Charlie's and nobody even like asked what had happened or why Vaggie was cast out?!?! I'd really like to see something, ANYTHING, that acknowledges this very big reveal to Heaven actually fucking happened lmao.
- Lilith's reunion & explanation to Charlie and Lucifer
- More of our Short King being his nerdy, powerful self
- Lute & Vaggie being toxic exes and/or getting a duet together (a girl can dream lmaoooo)
- Sir Pentious and his adventures in Heaven
- Emily and what she comes up with to help Charlie because she is the true Angel up in Heaven
- Sera getting a fucking kick to the face (or multiple) for letting the Exterminations happen and for all the other hypocritical shit that's been going on
- Everyone's reactions when they find out Sir Pentious has been redeemed
- Niffty being Niffty
- Alastor's plans and what he wants Charlie to do for him because of the deal they made
- Angel & Husk getting out of their respective deals with Valentino and Alastor
- Valentino dying a slow, agonizing, shitty death for what he's done to Angel
- What Keekee being the key to the hotel really means
- More fucking bangers to add to my playlist :)
That's all I can think of for now. If I think of anything else I'll add it on :)
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ladykailitha · 6 months ago
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Well Met By Moonlight Part 14
Hey all! Because I'm working strictly on Paper Hearts and Sweet Home Indiana exclusively until they're done, I thought I would put out chapters of this, Icarus (metal band), and Never Hold Back Your Step...(boy with a bat book 2) this week to tie you over until I can get back to them.
The poll wanted me to continue this one and Never Hold Back Your Step, so show me how much you love this story. Because people it is going to get juicy good and hella twisty and you really don't want to miss out on that. ;)
This is a very Nancy heavy chapter and as always she comes off very nuanced.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13
****
Steve had two thorns in his side. Tommy Hagan and Murray Bauman. Jonathan had gotten his mom and Hopper to back down by citing actual pack law.
He suspected that Nancy had given him that little tidbit to throw in their faces.
It was nice to have the younger generation on his side. Well, most of it. There was still the matter of Tommy.
But now it was time to let Nancy in on what had been going on in the pack.
“I wish you had come to me sooner,” she huffed after he had explained everything and shown her his proof.
“Would you have come to me if the shoe was on the other foot?” Steve asked sharply.
She folded her arms and looked down at the ground. Steve raised an eyebrow at her and she threw her arms in the air.
“Fine!” Nancy cried, throwing her arms in the air. “I wouldn’t have gone to you, I would have gone to Jonathan first. But at least I would have gone to another pack member instead of a keeper, Steve.”
Steve curled his lip and she took a step backward. “Keepers are bound to a scared trust and while Tommy has broken his, Robin would never.”
“Platonic soulmates, I know, I know,” she said, rolling her eyes. “So you keep saying. But she isn’t your female alpha, she isn’t even a werewolf Steve.”
Steve drew himself up to full height and glared at her. “At what has this pack done to show me any loyalty? It goes both ways, Nance and frankly all I’ve gotten since I came back to the pack is suspicion and distrust. Where’s my loyalty, huh? Where is it?”
She looked down at her feet again and sighed. “You weren’t a pack member for ten years, Steve and then you come back, in just a year you’re alpha. Like the rest of us have grown up together. Played together as children and then as puppies when we changed. We know everything about each other, but nothing about you. Then you start to change things and we’re just supposed to take it?”
“Yeah?” he said. “Okay, I’ll walk away. Hopper can take over or hell, give it straight to Murray. He’s the one that wanted it so bad after Hop was taken. See how you fare under his alphaship. If you guys have no loyalty to me, I’ve got none to you.”
He shook his head and walked away.
“Steve!” she cried. “Wait!”
Steve whirled back to face her. “What? You wanted me gone, so I’m leaving.”
“Of course I don’t want you to leave!” she huffed. “God, that wasn’t what I meant at all.”
“No?” he growled. “Because that’s what it fucking sounded like Nancy. What? You think Jonathan would be a better fit?” Nancy didn’t answer but her look said it all. “Because let me tell you, the Byers boys are the best of us, but both are straight up pacifists. They would make for terrible alphas.”
Nancy refused to look at him.
“And besides,” Steve finished with a smug grin, “Jonathan would back me in a fight for alpha, not challenge me and you fucking know it.”
She let out a long sigh. “God, how did you get so smart?”
“I’ve always been, thanks,” he huffed. “School stuff? I’m absolute shit at, but leadership and knowing the right play for the whole team? That comes as naturally to me as breathing. I don’t know it’s all the sports or if I was good at sports because of the natural ability to lead. Either way, there is no adult male in this pack better suited for alphaship and you can’t argue that.”
She looked up and stomped her foot. “I hate it when you’re right.”
“You better get used to it,” Steve said with a wink. “It’s going to happen a lot.”
Nancy clenched her fists and set her jaw. “You are the best leader for the pack as much as it literally pains me to say it, but you have to understand that all we saw was how rich and popular you were in high school. Captain of several teams, friends with Tommy and Carol even though you weren’t pack. King Steve. And then you come back to the pack after high school and the first chance you get you challenge for alpha and fucking win. That fight with Murray was the most brutal fight I’ve ever seen.”
Steve cocked his head to the side. “In what way?”
“You don’t fight like a wolf, even in wolf form,” she muttered. “You don’t even fight like an animal most of the time. It’s like... the wolf is only a vessel for you. Instead of being ingrained into your psyche like it is for the rest of us, you are still aware. You fight the way a human would if suddenly given four legs and a tail. It’s frightening to watch.”
He blinked as he thought about the implications of that. “I don’t have the socialization of a wolf pack, so I fight and think differently. That’s why everyone is worried about where I’ll take the pack. Because you think I’ll try to separate you from your wolf.”
Nancy bit her lower lip. “Exactly that.”
Steve nodded and then transformed. “So teach me how to be a wolf.”
She smiled and transformed, too. Maybe they weren’t friends, but they could be allies and Steve was okay with that.
****
Nancy had learned a lot that day. About Steve and why he didn’t know how to be a wolf and it was a secret she would take to her grave. She learned that she was only the fourth person ever to know about what really went on at the Franklins. Behind Wayne; who was there; Robin, his best friend; and Eddie, his boyfriend.
And if Steve was to be believed, and she had no reason not to, Wayne had told Eddie, not him.
So she was the second person Steve had personally told and that was a lot of trust he had placed in her.
But it also stirred memories in her mind of the day the pack had been informed that the Harrington’s were dead and that Steve was going to be living with another couple until he came of age.
She had been pretty young herself, but she remembered how Wayne and Hopper had almost come to blows about it.
Hopper had yelled that the pack was as safe as houses and Wayne said the house was a condemned building.
She remembered it because she thought the phrase was hilarious. But regardless there was someone else who was there. Someone who was fighting to keep Steve in the pack, but she couldn’t remember.
Nancy rubbed her forehead between her eyebrows as she thought.
She shook her head.
She had bigger fish to fry. Steve’s threat about banishing those that had threatened his alphaship had stirred up a lot of feelings in the pack that she as female alpha had to try and smooth out.
The pack had only banished two people ever since Hopper had taken over the remains of the shattered Harrington pack after Wayne had torn them to literal pieces.
Just then she heard an argument break out. Josh had been swapped out for Chase and she could hear his raised voice.
“What the fuck were you thinking, Pat?!” Chase hissed. “Joining these flea-bitten mongrels?”
Nancy frowned. Maybe Chase should have come to the compound first, rather than Josh, because it sounded like Chase had been overly influenced by Billy’s style.
“How about not dying?” Patrick snapped back. “Billy wasn’t going to change me and Steve was willing to try. Vampire’s don’t need consent to change you, but werewolves do. And so yeah. I fucking consented. I didn’t want to die.”
“Better dead than a werewolf,” Chase said. “Hanging out with the vamps was fun. But all this is hard work and the stench of rotting meat.”
Nancy reached a point in the woods where she could see them, but they couldn’t see her.
Patrick shook his head. “He saved me twice, Chase. Even Jason is impressed by how respectful Steve had been about the whole thing, especially since we nearly killed him.”
Chase blanched. After those six weeks at the coven, he had forgotten the reason for the whole exchange program in the first place. That they could have been thrown in jail for attempted murder.
He looked down at the ground. “Shit, man. I didn’t mean it like that. Of course you’re grateful to Harrington for saving your ass. It’s just so much has changed in so little time that I loss track of all that...other bullshit.”
Patrick sighed. “I know, it all seems like it’s from another life. But Wayne has said that he’s going to recommend to the DA that we get a year of community service under his eye and it won’t go on our permanent record so we can still go to college.”
“That’s decent of him,” Chase said. “He could have made things really bad for you.”
Patrick shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t think Jason is being genuine. He’s still angry about getting caught by Eddie Munson of all people.”
Chase frowned. The rivalry between Jason and Eddie Munson was the stuff of legends. Jason would bully the Hellfire Club kids, and Eddie would stand on table tops in the cafeteria ranting about basketball players were only good at putting big orange balls in laundry baskets.
It was actually Eddie and not Billy who had stepped in between Chrissy Cunningham and Jason when he found out she was a vampire and not some pure Christian girl who would stay at home once they were married and pump out his babies.
Chrissy could have defended herself considering how strong she was as a vampire, but Eddie had still stepped between them. Chase was sure that if the principal hadn’t walked by just then, that Jason would have decked Eddie.
“Especially now that Eddie is the same supe Chrissy is,” he said slowly.
Patrick nodded. “I worry he’s going to get caught up in something that might get himself killed.”
“Jason is such a bone head,” Chase said shaking his head. “Why did we follow this guy again?”
Patrick threw back his head and laughed. “Because he was captain of the basketball team, dating the head cheerleader, and hot as fuck.”
Chase let out a startled snorted. “Yeah, okay. You’ve got me there.”
They moved away from the clearing and there was a tap on Nancy’s shoulder.
She yelped and whirled around, coming face to face with Murray.
“Jesus!” she hissed, putting her hand on her chest as she fought to catch her breath.
“You shouldn’t be eavesdropping on people,” he said with a smarmy smile.
She returned his smile with a tight lipped version of her own. “Well, you would only know I was eavesdropping, if you were doing the same thing. A bit pot calling the kettle black, don’t you think?”
He tilted his head and regarded her with interest. “I can see why Steve would chose you as his alpha female. So smart. Just don’t go digging holes you can’t jump out of.”
He slipped into the shadows of the woods and she felt a shiver down her spine.
She had been so wrapped up in the drama with Steve that she had neglected her duties as alpha female.
Well that changed today. She would get to the bottom of this and give Steve her full support. Like a proper female alpha.
****
Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20
Tag List: Eighteen slots remaining.
1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03
2- @spectrum-spectre @zerokrox-blog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie
3- @chaosgremlinmunson @goodolefashionedloverboi @bookbinderbitch @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach
4- @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv
5- @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @littlewildflowerkitten @vecnuthy
6- @scheodingers-muppet @just-a-tiny-void @potato-of-the-lord @goosesister @tinyplanet95
7- @she-collects-smut @irregular-child @y4r3luv @fairytalesreality @anaibis
8- @papergrenade @ravenfrog @fullpoetrybread
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jellyfishoreo1206 · 1 year ago
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WE ARE NOT SEEING ENOUGH OF MIRAGE GUYS
So I'm taking matters into my own goddamn hands-
Meeting Mirage ;)
Either Noah or Mirage might be a little OOC, but I'm giving it a shot
Takes place after the movie, with fem pronouns
Enjoy!
-------
Dude, where the hell are you?
Y/N was currently sent a page to Noah, her best friend of 3 years. He was suppose to pick her up from work, as her car broke down and is still getting fixed at the mechanics, but it was well over 20 minutes and he still hasn't showed. He was suppose to be there at 7:30, and now it's almost dark.
I'kl be there in 10 minutes! Domething just csme uo
Several typos, whatever the hell is happening over there is really making him either rush or panic... actually those are both kind of in the same sense.
Letting out a sigh through her nose, Y/N quickly typed out a response.
Yeah, yeah. Better keep to your promise, Sonic.
Not even letting him respond, the H/C-nette shoved the device into her coat pocket. Sure it may be the beginning of the summer, but she get cold easily.
And I mean very easily.
"Man, I really need a hot shower right now."
10 minutes breezed by quickly, seemingly in a blink of an eye. About to page Noah again, Y/N stopped in her tracks when a honk sounded in front of her.
Looking up, her eyes widen in complete surprise at the image in front of them. Her best friend, Noah Diaz, in a fucking Porsche. Well, it looked like it seen better days, but still.
"Yo, you gonna get in or are you just gonna stand there looking so surprised?" Noah shouted from inside the car, a smug look on his face.
Snapping out of it, Y/N got inside the car, buckling in her seatbelt.
Once the seatbelt clicked, Noah started the car onto the route back to Y/N's apartment complex. 5 minutes in and the two are making small talk and all that before Y/N asked him a question.
"So, what happened?"
"Hm?"
"To the Porsche. Looks like Frankenstein's monster."
Noah let's out a small chuckle at the comment, "Oh uh, some guy sold it to me for a good price. Because it was all banged up and stuff. Couldn't even start."
"When did you get it?"
"Got it 2 months ago, still has some kinks that need to be fixed. But we've made some progress." He patted the dashboard in a comforting way, a somber smile on his face.
"2 months ago? Weren't you in PerĂș during that time? Also is Reeks helping you fix the car?"
"Yeah. I think I made a pretty good decision going there..also Reeks is just helping me get the parts, I'm mainly doing the fixing."
"Mm, pretty good job so far. I could help with the paint job? The blue and silver seems to be fading out, but I think it a fresh coat will make it look gorgeous."
After she finished that comment, the car felt like it heated up a little. Not too much to notice, but just enough.
"By the way, what did you do in PerĂș again?"
"Oh, to study for a job I was doing..got to see some of the landscapes and all that..and nearly died-"
"What was that?"
"Wha-nothing! Don't worry about it at all."
A silence fell between you too, an awkward silence to be exact. He's a little more fidgety than usual.. probably from exhaustion. It's something he does whenever he's very tired. Man, he must be more exhausted than usual.
"Sorry I called you so late, like right after your new job and stuff. It must be tiring."
"Nah I don't mind, you're my best friend after all. Just returning the favor when you babysat Kris last minute." Now Y/N absolutely loves Noah's family. First time she met them, it felt like a bond just, instantly clicked within. So from that day on, she makes a little time out of her day just to visit the Diaz family, especially Kris. He was so sweet, and like the little brother she never had. So whenever Noah or his mom were busy, she babysits him, and brings some food so they can enjoy together.
"I don't mind babysitting Kris at all. He's like a little brother to me anyway."
"Yeah, that's Kris. Best little brother I could ever ask for." A soft smile comes to his face, maybe he should bring some food from that burger joint his family likes, before he goes home so his mom doesn't have to cook tonight.
"Yeah..Hey do you mind if I put in my playlist?"
"Go for it."
Grabbing a mixtape from her pocket, she inserts it into the slot right above the radio, turning the knob to hear what was currently playing.
The familiar rhythm of Virgen by Adolescent's Orquesta brings a smile to your face, increasing the volume as one of her favorite songs plays through the car. Every so often, she would sing along to the lyrics, taping her fingers against the door.
What Y/N didn't know, was a certain Autobot mech was observing her in the passenger seat mirror, noticing the small things about her that seemed to have caught even more of his interest. The moment she got in the car, Mirage had to admit, she was PRETTY. And the compliments she said? Wooo that was feeding his ego.
And she was drop-dead gorgeous, in his optics, he doesn't even know her one bit and he's on his knees just from the sound of her voice. Oh her voice, don't even get him started on her voice. Most purest thing he has ever heard since he had stepped foot on Earth. Got her filling his tanks with a fluttery feeling, or as Noah sometimes likes to refer to, butterflies. What a weird thing to say. (Ngl, I head cannon Mirage to fall in love FAST)
After those few thoughts, the mech started observing her other features. Her eyes, hair, lips, cheeks, hands, even the smallest of moles/freckles that were dotted across her face. Oh and when her smile plastered her face, Mirage felt his spark beat faster.
She was a beauty, a beauty in her own category..
Sadly he wasn't able to admire her much longer, as they stopped in front of her apartment, the sky now completely dark. About to open the car door, the lock clicks, preventing Y/N from getting out. Thinking nothing of it, Y/N goes to unlock it, but it keeps repeatedly locking itself. With a huff, Y/N turns to Noah.
"Dude can you stop that shit?"
"It's not me I swear! Li-like I said, Mir-! The car was all banged up when I got it, still got a few bugs in it.." And as subtly as possible, kept kicking right above the pedals. Not to harshly, but to get the message across to stop messing around.
Finally after what seemed to be forever, the car doors unlocked, with Y/N getting out of the car, making sure to grab her tape. Running a hand over the hood, not noticing the shudder of metal, Y/N waves goodbye to Noah before entering her building, already getting excited for her hot shower.
When Y/N was out of sight and earshot, Noah turned to the radio, somewhat pissed.
"Mirage, what the hell was that??"
"Whaaaat? I did nothing wrong. Also, ouch. Do you have to kick me that hard? I'm still recovering y'know." You could hear the teasing smile on his face, pulling the recovery card whenever.
"Mirage you can't do that."
"Why not? Not like she noticed anything."
"You just can't!"
"Aww but I wanna keep admiring la angel bonita un momento mĂĄs."
"..what."
"I wanna keep ad-"
"I know what you said, but, seriously?"
"You gotta introduce me to her one day, Sonic."
"Mirage she's going to freak out!"
"Mm but what are the chances she won't? Pleaseeee? I won't stop bothering you unless you say yesss~" He coos in a sing-song voice.
"Nu uh, ain't happening. Just because you're acting like a kid doesn't mean you're getting it."
"Fine. But whenever you give her ride home, I'll just keep locking the doors."
Letting out a frustrated sigh, Noah leaned back into the recliner, pinching the bridge of his nose out of frustration. Whenever Mirage says he'll do something, he will follow through. He's ambitious like that. So either; Stay with the no but have Mirage be a brat for who knows how long, or, just get it over with.
"Sooo..Is that a yes?"
He was quiet for a bit, before letting out a sigh,"Fine, fine! Yes, it's a yes."
"Hell yeah, baby! Oh I already have so many places to meet up for dates-"
"DUDE."
------
So that concludes my first post! I like how this (somewhat) turned out, but it's a first. I've made some edits to this and the second part will be out soon, so I'm sorry for keeping you guys waiting!
Part 2 here!
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averageclawcodeenjoyer · 6 months ago
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Analyzing things in ATSV part one
Okay so I have to be absolutely insane about Ganke for a bit, so this will probably take up several posts because screenshots/videos galore.... ermmmmm....
HAVE FUN (will edit and update as needed)
I'm going to start off by analyzing this piece of concept art
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Taking a look at Ganke's tapestry on his wall, that absolutely looks like the CS:GO logo, just flipped and without the text. Ex:
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Taking a look at more things on the walls as well:
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1) who is doing this math. Is it Ganke? Is it Miles? Is it both of them? I like to think that is is Ganke writing things down and then coming back to them later, or, maybe Miles writes things down and Ganke corrects them/adds stuff.
2) I'm pretty sure that says deadly twins. Is this a game? Movie? A play on words? Makes me think of seven deadly sins, but I'm not too knowledgeable in the world of entertainment.
3) (not the jet) is this a schedule? Lunch schedule, perhaps? It's on the bulletin board in the final cut of their dorm as well, just redesigned. Has to be something school event related. It says "Spring 2023 Brooklyn ________ Academy." I can't make out the middle word.
4) I just like the little spider included in the drawing :3 Miles FOSHO draws all over the whiteboard all the time. I love it.
5) I love love LOVE the stickers he put on the drawers, and I'm guessing there also from video games, but again, not good with logos. If anyone knows though please tell me and I will put it on here.
6) I think it's neat that they have a poster of a bunch of cassette tapes on the door. That was definitely Miles's doing, as well as the record player that i found in there (it's his way of honoring Aaron.)
7) Peep the No Expectations drawing on Miles's side of the bunk. I love the little Easter eggs all over. This is so special to me. Makes me think of the Chekhov's gun principal that they did with the Spider in ITSV and are continuing in Across.
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8) Ohhhhh so he's a soccer guy. I wonder if he likes the sport, players, or had played it himself. Maybe that's why he got buff, bit I doubt it (BRING ME BACK LOSER NERD CHUB GANKE)
9) Taking a look at the photographs that Ganke has and comparing them to what I could find in the final product. Ganke has a camera on his desk, so obviously he takes all of these himself, but we will get to that later.
10) This looks like a picture of himself to me. Self portrait. Look at that blurred out smile. It's either him, or one of his parents, but I'm guessing it's of himself. Did someone take that for him, or did he take it? Maybe it was Miles.
11) might again be a stretch, but it looks almost like two people leaning against each other. Headcanon that Ganke is just like Lilo and takes pictures of random people interacting for funsies (reminds me of them Gwen & Miles leaned on each other on the building but I have HIGH doubts it is that)
12) ..Again, just bullshitting here. But this reminds me of the scene from ITSV where Gwen and Miles first were introduced to each other. Could he totally off, but there were a lot of kids in the background that resembled and could have been Ganke. Who knows what that kid does in his free time. (I bet he has a lot of photos of Miles that he doesn't know about...)
13) i don't have any idea of what this could be but uhh.... we're open to discussion. Train???
14) Looks like a party. A school dance perhaps? Winter formal? Homecoming? Something. Reminds me of the Prom scene in Gwen's universe.
___
I absolutely love all the stuff they have in their dorm room for food. Those sillies!! Look at them! Eating dinner together! Fully equipped! Who owns this shit! Banking on Ganke owning most of it because like... just look at his fucking setup.
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15) Here's that record player I was talking about!!!! I wonder if it's a brand new one of something Miles got when they went through Aaron's stuff after he died...
16) Coffee machine even though Ganke drinks like 7 energy drinks a day (this boys' coffee addiction is.... wow. Also personally I feel like Miles wouldn't really be too fond of coffee. Imagine if the caffeine messed with his venom strike and caused him to chock everything and himself a billion times lmao)
17) what is this???? Is this some kind of like.... portable burner, or something?????? So they can boil water/use a pan??????? If anybody knows it would be GREATLY appreciated.
18) We've seen the air fryer/rice cooker with googly eyes and I love that... oh, I bet that was Miles's doing. Maybe as a prank or a joke to mess with Ganke and they kept it. There's so much personality here.
19) ignoring the condiments for a moment- THEY AHVE A MINIFRIDGE???? DO THEY EVER NEED TO LEAVE THEIR DORM, ACTUALLY????? It almost looks like it has sparkling/seltzer water in it but.. gross. They really decked this place out, huh.
20) and in ITSV there's a microwave too. Everything to fuel Ganke's crippling chronically online illness.
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21) SPRAY CANS!!!! Oh how wonderful. These are hidden/scattered throughout their finished dorm, too. I love that. I wonder if Ganke and Miles ever become delinquents and go off to graffiti stuff. (However, I don't see Ganke as being very artistic when it comes to things like that, so maybe he just tags along with Miles and acts as lookout.
22) FIDGET spinner!!!!!!! Oh boy. Oh boy. I know that these were a big thing a couple years back, but please consider... Audhd Ganke.... thank you.
23) is this an alarm clock? Radio???? Why do they need another source for music when they have like... three.. seperate ways.... okay.
24) You cannot convince me that this isn't Yoda. Or at least a similar character.. but I'm banking on Yoda. WHY DID THEY CHANGE SO MUCH STUFF THERE WAS SO MUCH PERSONALITY HEREEEEEEER
25) look at this slanted ass bowl. This supports something I will talk about later, but keep him in mind.
26) SKATEBOARD! Does Ganke skateboard??? Oh man. Oh boy. It's Canon because I said so. Skateboary Ganke!! You think he goes somewhere with Miles just to show off the tricks that he knows. I do. It's also his because it's leaning on his bed and there is a pretty clear separation of whose side of the room is whose.
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27) Here is laptop #1
28) BIGASS speakers they deafen EVERYONE when they start playing music.
29) HIS FUCKING PC??? BROTHER, WHY DOES HE HAVE THAT EXPENSIVE ASS PIECE OF EQUIPMENT IN HIS DORM ROOM. WHAT DOES HE HAVE AT HOME?????? Bros got eh curved screen and everyrhing. Also is he making MUSIC. Ganke in his producer era (what genre do you think he makes?) Also, not pictured, but he has a Webcam, too. StreamerGanke....
30) HERES THAT CAMERA I MENTUONED EARLIER!!!! He has hobbies other than gaming like... photographing Miles.. and......... taking.. pictures of Miles..
31) is this some kind of console, maybe? We see him playing the Spider-Man 2 game, which is playable on both PC and Playstation, but I'm pretty sure it's confirmed that Ganke is, in fact, playing it on his ps5 (do not quote me on this that is what Google has told me...)
32) his professional-ass microphone.... pray that nobody ever finds out the kind of LOOT you have, Lee, or you will be robbed blind. (Not sure if this is still kept in the finished version, I'll have to check) ((also the stuff on his bulletin board? Brother.... broski you live with him.. you don't need to have him beside you on the daily))
33) This looks like an IPad to me, but I could br wrong. Also, he's watching Miles on it!!! COME ON. I know Spider-Man is his favorite superhero and all.. but come on, this is "person-who-has-crush-behavior" and I don't think that's too wild of me to say...
34) look at him with his little soundboard!! In the final version it ends up looking more like a keyboard than what it does right now, but he obviously makes music on the side as well. He's so dear to me.
35) This little drawer pulls out on his desk!! Where he stops his billionth keyboard and mouse. (In another angle of their dorm, in ITSV, their is a random unused keyboard propped up against the wall)
36) ANOTHER FUCKING LAPTOP. Bro has one for his games, one for school, one for talking to his online friends, and one for coding stg /hyperbolic
37) Here is the console for his computer. Simply that. Just astounding to me.
___
Just look at how much mire comfortable they are with each other now versus ITSV!!!!!! Good friends, good match, good sillies. The only thing I DONT like is the inconsistencies of the room... but perhaps they got a different dorm room this year and still chose to bed down together. Historians will just call them best friends.. rommates... anything but lovers.
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Oh you thought I was done?
No.
No, I have one more thing to say.
One more tiny, tiny detail I fished out while studying their room.
Are you ready?
In the concept art.
Underneath Ganke's desk.
Is a bag.
And what's on that bag?
Some pins.
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Oh but what's that?
That yellow one??
Is that the intersex flag?
Is that another game logo that I'm too uncultured to understand, is that just a coincidence, or, is Ganke intersex?
I don't know enough about people that are intersex to get into it, but.. Has anybody else noticed this?
I can't find it in the finished version... but. But guys. Guys.
Please tell me your thoughts on this.
I'm going to analyze that scene in ITSV with the hyperlapse of Miles sleeping and Ganke.. dicking off all night next. Might not be tomorrow but it will happen.
Edit:
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I gave Ganke longer hair because he looks bald without it. THATS ALL BYE
Part 1.5
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eightsixtiism · 16 days ago
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As a Max fan, I do admit that Max isn't perfect and I absolutely adored Lando before especially with his friendship with Max and Carlos. Lando is getting hated mainly because of the things he says and some of his actions. One was the trump thing, second, was when Max was congratulating him and he decided to snitch despite the race being over (not a big issue for me personally cause all drivers snitch). Third is the way he acted when he won the Dutch GP especially when he decided to use Max's catchphrase (I know it wasn't Max's before), most of us found it rude especially since well max's catchphrase and Lando saying that seemed as if he was mocking Max and the worst thing was it was Max's home race. Fourth, the cooldown with Lewis when Lew was merely being nice and he decided to somewhat insult him (I feel insulted despite Lewis saying it was fine). Fifth, When he called Max's win in Brazil luck not talent, I mean luck was a part of it but talent had a much larger contribution. Sixth, when McLaren fucked up and he made his engineer beg for Lando to give the place back to Oscar despite him being only there because McLaren fucked up and Iscar was doing an excellent job defending (Fuck Mclaren strategy tbh). Seventh, podium in Hungary ('twas fucked up) Oscar couldn't even enjoy his win because Lando was the center of attention despite Osc having a phenomenal drive. Eight, when Oscar had to give up a win (it was a sprint but it was still a win) just for him to lose big time from Max. Ninth, when Oscar once again had to back off to give Lando a chance to catch up to Max but he couldn't pass Charles. Tenth, this is mostly due to how the FIA has been acting. They have been acting like a knight and shining armor for Lando, especially during the quali. This is not hate, I do think he is a contender for this season, the way he's been acting is somewhat the problem. (I think I have more but this is enough lmao)
there's a lot to be covered here so i'll answer the ones that caught my eye.
3) now that i've thought about it, i'd understand why max fans in particular would be mad about it. max coined the phrase, his friend essentially used it to take a dig at him. me personally, if this is what you're getting so seriously pressed about then i actually don't know what to say. this is a sport, shithousery will ensue between friends, enemies, acquaintances— everybody. it's not like lando completely ridiculed and encouraged any more hate towards max; i don't know if i can say the same for max, though.
4) that one i felt taken aback by it too. don't know why he said that, it's definitely something he could've avoided saying. but if lewis isn't bothered about it, i'm not going to be. if he was, i certainly would be and will hold lando accountable (i still do anyways)
5) this is so palpably hearsay and i cannot believe you still think this. at this point, i feel like a broken radio trying to reason with you guys and tell you that that is not what he meant. i'm sure you've come across people explaining what the actual meaning is, so let's not sit here and still believe this foolishness. if, for some reason, you still don't get it, there's a post here that explains it perfectly.
6 and 7) you are talking all about unrightful lando wins, but didn't lando have to give his place up for oscar? oscar didn't overtake lando by his own will and win, so why won't we use that against oscar? some people do, but we all know it was mclaren's fault for putting them in that position. they could've easily let them stay where they are and fight for p1, but they didn't and that is how it panned out. after them guilt tripping lando into giving the place back, are we still blaming lando for this? i know you shouldn't be because as you said, 'fuck mclaren strategy'.
8) mclaren were seemingly championship contending... up until they claimed they weren't after the brazil gp (honestly, odds were stacking up against them that they weren't because they kept fucking up more than they should've). i can tell you are either quite ignorant or haven't been a fan for long, because it seems you are too used to someone winning the championship by their own merit because of the very pitiful gap in performance between the red bull drivers, but forget that many championships have been won with the help of teammates, one of the most infamous being lewis and valterri. oscar giving up his place was to help lando (who's higher in the standings between the 2) get more points and close the gap. it wasn't a rightful sprint win, we are all aware, but that's how this sport works.
10) i was going to go hell on this take, but @landhoe-norris worded it perfectly in their post:
"Imagine thinking that an organisation that rigged a race so that your favourite drivers would win a championship, an organisation that has allowed him to run other drivers off the track for the past three years without repercussions, is now being biased against him because he ‘has the wrong passport’ when in all seriousness your favourite driver is the epitome of ‘white privilege’ and has been since he stepped into the sport."
there's nothing more for me to say.
all in all, lando is not as bad as you guys make him out to be. if anything, max, in my opinion, is worse. and looks like he'll always be.
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ebonysplendor · 9 months ago
Text
Perfect Love Review 💖
TL;DR: Yeah, Milo is toxic and all, but growing up is realizing that, maybe I'M the problem. Maturing is realizing that it's not even a damn maybe; we're deadass the problem this time.
Game Link: https://c4game.itch.io/perfectlove
Notable Features: Sadistic MC, Gender options, LI turned Yandere, (8) Endings Tracker, Self-Insert Spiciness: 0/5 -- As far as I know, there's no spicy scenes, but I was so shook after my first playthrough, I just ran to make a review. That said though, this game is by no means wholesome LI MC Red Flags: 7/5 -- Sadistic, vindictive, manipulative, drugged someone, accessory to crimes, conspiracy to crimes, gaslighter, blackmailed someone, emotionally/mentally abusive, just..a lot of shit (and you thought Castiel was toxic)
Wanna know more? Well, let's get into it!
Fair warning, there may be way more grammar errors than normal because when I tell you that I played the first ending and ran to make a review, I mean that quite literally. That being exposed, just bear with me because this had very little proof reading because I was way too excited to tell you all about this game (without spoiling too much, of course) lol
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What's up! Welcome back to another review!
Two things to start this off:
1. I know I already posted another review today, but I couldn't not write a review about this game and tell as many people that would listen to play it as soon as they could! 2. No, my friends, that was not a typo. It's not the LI we need to be concerned about; it's the MC. Yes, we're the problem this time around, and holy shit, please allow me to tell you about it! Or at least some of it, because I don't want to spoil too much.
As angry as this game made me, and as open and as wide as my mouth was during pretty much the entirety of this game, this has been the best damn visual novel I have come across to date! Yes, you read that correctly, and I will double down on it without hesitation; this is the best visual novel that I have ran across! Bitch, I would've paid money for this visual novel it was so good, and y'all know that I'm a cheap bitch! This was a $12.00 game (no, I still ain't over that! lol)! I would've gladly dropped that amount of money on this!
And I really hope I'm not exaggerating or overhyping it either, because I don't know which visual novels you guys have or haven't played, so let me clarify: For me, this is 1000/10 the best visual novel that I have read up to date. The pacing, the art style, the story its damn self, the fact that we're the problem this time around! Like, ugh, I could go on and on and on and on and on some more about this masterpiece of a game. I'm dead serious. I really believe that I could do an improvised one hour powerpoint presentation with absolutely zero prep time on how much of a chokehold this game has me in and STILL need an extra 30 minutes to an hour to really get my damned point across. It is that real for me. It is that serious.
All right, all right, all right, I'm gonna stop myself here because if I keep gushing, the intro is going to get way too long. That being said, it is officially time for me to write the synopsis. More than ever, I really mean this when I say, I'm going to tell you as much as possible without spoiling the game itself, and gods damn it, is it going to be difficult because, holy shit, the stuff that goes down?! I really want to tell you about it but fuck, if I do, then you might not play it yourself, and I can tell you right now, you have got to play this for yourself, and I highly recommend this game! Y'all are seriously missing out if you don't!
Okay, okay, I'm shutting up, because the intro's for real, for real getting too long and really redundant. Like, we get it, you love the game, start summarizing the damn thing! No worries, I hear y'all, and that's exactly what I'm about to do. Just a heads up, you're gonna need to buckle up for this one. Like, no, deadass. Buckle the hell up. I don't know what the hell kind of ride I'm about to take you guys on, but it's a damned wild one.
All right. Enough intro, enough talking. Let's finally get into it.
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So, boom, and gods damn it, I mean, BOOM.
The game starts off with a little introducty-duction about how fucked up we are as a person. I'm not kidding about that. Basically, you know how we play these "dark romance" visual novels because the idea of someone being so unhealthily obsessed with you to the point of literally driving them bat shit crazy is something that just excites us for whatever reason? Yeah, we're like that in this game, except, we're literally delusional. Not the "quirky", cringey "aha, I'm so crazy~!", not delulu, like full on, needs to be admitted into the psychiatric floor of the hospital, delusional.
Anyways, we aspire to experience and permanently have that specific type of psycho crazy love, and damn it, we're going to have it, even if we have to go past just manifesting it and instead creating it ourselves, and I mean that quite literally. Let me explain.
See, at this point, there have been many failed attempts at getting this form of toxic love that we're after. At first, (or at least it's implied that) we tried to find it naturally, but it wasn't working out because, quite simply, it was never enough. I mean, sure, they cared about us, and sure, they would fight for us. Hell, they would easily do things for us if we asked, but they would always fall short because they wouldn't be willing to do anything and everything for us, let alone without us just being straight up about it and asking them to do so, and that, my friends, did not and will not fly.
Because we were tired of the constant failures and the constant disappointment, we decided to get on our boss shit and solve our problem instead of complaining about it. How do we solve it? By simply creating the love that we're after, and the first -- and most critical -- part of creating that love, is to find the right type of person. Someone who was a loner and an outcast. Someone that people ignored without so much as a second glance. Someone who allowed people to walk all over them and treat them any kind of way because they had no sense of self-worth. Someone desperate for affection, touch-starved even. Someone like...that new kid who recently transferred.
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Milo Change. The perfect sap.
So, for totally non-selfish reasons, we play hero, and we step in to save the day. The bully -- his name's Ryan, by the by -- pretty much hightails it out of there once we intervene, and we're left with our suitor, and a suitor he'd better damn be because we didn't save his ass for nothing.
Milo gets off the ground, and he stumbles into us because he had gotten beat down pretty bad. True to expected nature, he apologizes, and starts rambling on about his friends for a little. He basically explains that, even though he knows that the people that he hangs around are really shitty, being new and not being used to the area makes him anxious to the point where he prefers their company over having no one and being alone. How coincidentally in perfect character he is...this is the one. Time to turn on the rizz.
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When he asked why we jumped to his defense, we hit him with the ultimate "I was worried about you". This man's heart immediately gets to fluttering, and he's just making this too easy. It gets to a point where we make this "arrangement", so to speak. In exchange for giving him pointers on how to start standing up for himself, he has to date us. Of course, he jumps on this offer, because aside from him being the very type of spineless dweeb guy we're looking for, we knew that he had a serious crush on us. We know this because we had noticed that in passing and in the classes that we had together that he was always sneaking glances at us, so why not exploit that shoot our shot?
Anyways, we flawlessly sink the shot, and we get our date established. When we meet up, we decide to go to the batting cages, but it throws Milo off because they aren't the kind of batting cages that he was thinking of. Actually, quite frankly, it isn't really a batting cage but instead this really creepy room that has bats and is filled with mannequins.
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Naturally, Milo starts asking questions, because now he's pretty uncomfortable with this whole thing, and it only gets worse when he sees us haul off and take a pretty ruthless swing at one of the dummies with a bat. At this point, Milo is holding one of the bats in his hands, and he's like "Nah, nah, I'm not into violence. Like, this is wild", but we reassure him that this isn't so much a reflection of character but a perfectly healthy way to get his anger out. He's still a little hesitant so we start planting thoughts giving him things to consider, and we're just like:
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"Dude, are you not angry about the way that your so called 'friends' treated you? Did you actually like that they would use and abuse you when all you did was try to be nice? You did nothing wrong, and yet, they found it amusing to see you in pain. Do you really think you deserved to be treated like that...?" In short, we're just like "Getting your ass beat for the sake of friendship? Couldn't be me".
Milo stops for a second and really considered our words. After he really thought about it, he realized that he was and still is pissed about everything, and he goes in.
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Like, really goes in to the point that the bat shattered and his hands started bleeding.
This scares the crap out of him because he didn't realize how much anger he had been holding in, but we find his performance desirable, not to mention severely attractive. Insert the Kronk meme because, my bois, it's all coming together.
We see the potential in Milo, and we're more than happy to help him reach that potential that we know he's capable of achieving. That being said, while he's trying to process what's going on, we just reassured him that we weren't scared of him and that it probably felt really good to finally get all that anger out. The tragic part is that Milo innocently agreed that it did.
We smile about the fact that he unknowingly took the bait, and we keep reeling him in. We tell Milo that we're really happy that he was able to get that anger out, because we understood that the world could be and is super cruel. While we're on the topic of the world being a really messed up place, we just idly bring up the concern of something happening to us and whether Milo'd protect us or not. Milo is once again thrown off because, yeah, the world is cruel, but why would we even picture a scenario like that? So, we explain that it's not necessarily that we wanted to think about it, but that because there's so much violence going on in the world, it was natural to think about.
That being said, we double down and tell him that he may have to protect us one day and fight back. We already know how Milo feels about violence, so we tell him to think of it more as self-defense and not so much as an excuse to be violent towards others for the sake of being violent. It was protection, really, for both himself and the people that he loves and "Milo...you'll protect me...right?"
And, once again, very innocently, he promises us that he will.
With that declaration, he became stronger. He upgraded from mannequins to glasses, plates, and whatever else in ramshackled houses to cars in abandoned lots. He even did classes that taught him how to fight, whether for self-defense, to protect others, or to simply hurt someone. He had become a bit more brash, and the "friends" that he had before started to back off because he was so different, but that was okay; that was what was best for him, and even more importantly, that was what we wanted.
Milo clung onto us. He knew that he was the only one that we could trust because our sweet Milo deserved the world, but the world didn't deserve him. He knew this because we told him exactly that, and why would we ever lie to him? We wouldn't, and because of that, Milo believes that we're the only one that he can trust -- as it should be.
Milo was slowly, but surely, starting to learn, but despite this improvement and despite this change...
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...It still wasn't enough. Just the same as before.
Nah, nah, nah, I'm not telling you anymore, because it was hard enough withholding some of the details here. Know this though: this isn't even the halfway point let alone the thick of it, and this is one route out of eight that I just described to you. Yes, it gets damned wild, way beyond this.
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FRICKIN FINALLY. I was about to explode trying to get to this part!
Guys, if it was not obvious, you guys have got to play this game! Like, I usually be like "Oh, if you want, and you have the time and feel like it, play this game" but nah, nah, nah, nah, NAH. This is not optional. You will seriously be missing out if you do not play this visual novel. Now admittedly, I got pissed at the MC because, shit, like, there's an option for self-insert, but I was so far detached from this character because this bitch is -- and Markiplier said it best -- fucking psycho crazy bonkers! Like, I saw certain stuff coming, but it's like, when it happened, it would be 10x worse than I thought it'd be.
Like, you honestly have no idea. The lil' synopsis I gave you at the top isn't even really a synopsis; more accurately, it's a teaser, because what I told you didn't even scratch the surface of what is going on. Guys, gals, gays, theys, all of y'all...please...I beg...play this damn game. Like holy shit, I cannot push this game enough. Like, yeah, sure, just to provide criticism or whatever, certain things or scenes are worded really "Ooh, I'm edgy and fucked up", and (unless I just read it weird) I think there were a few coding errors for nicknames and some super minor grammar errors, but like honestly, it doesn't even matter. I honestly couldn't give a damn because shit, the game is damned good! Like, there honestly isn't anything significant to complain about or critique. The dev? C4Games? They are out here, and they are setting the bar damned high.
Like, oh my gods, the fucking concept had me tripping out! Like, the whole "sadistic MC" or "The MC is crazy, too" trope isn't unheard of but, as far as I know, the execution itself is original, and I'm super geeked about it! A sadistic and twisted MC who is literally corrupting and molding an innocent guy to be the yandere that she craves. Like...what the hell? Ahhh!! I love it! Like, I literally cannot hold in the amount of gushing that I'm doing, and you can tell when I'm gushing because every other sentence will be "like, like, and like, like, like, and oh my gods, holy shit, like, like, like". Like lmao, I am gushing. I am ruined.
At this point, I feel that no other game will top this game. If I was making a tier list of the visual novels I have been reviewing, this is by far, no debate, an S Tier, God Tier, "whatever your highest tier would be" game. This visual novel is good, and I cannot wait to play the other seven routes, and guess what? The best part of all of this is that it's released! This is the entire game, and you can bet your ass that I'm going to be playing every route MUTLIPLE times!
Okay, I feel like the review and this overall post is long enough, and I want to stop myself from rambling and gushing anymore than I already have. That being said, that is officially all from me, and everyone's homework-- actually, nah. Everyone's project -- and it's going to be worth 100% of your grade -- is to play this damned game. EXPIDITIOUSLY. This is a requirement. This is an order.
Side note, I'm back on my sims kick, and I'm half tempted to make a family of the Milos I unlock because apparently -- pay attention! This is about to be a "pro, not really pro, but super helpful" tip! -- Milo's appearance and personality changes based on how you choose to mold him. Interesting, right? So, considering that there's 8 endings, I'm thinking there's 8 Milos, so...that's a full household in the Sims. Lol I might do it. I think I am.
Lol all right, enough rambling, I'm outta here for realsies! I hope everyone enjoys whatever time zone they're in, and, in case it wasn't clear or you missed it, play this damned game!
Anywho! Huge reminder! Drink water, don’t be dumb, play this game, and hope to see you around~!
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Perfect Love
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highonincense · 8 months ago
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One thing I absolutely despise in drarry fics —and by this I mean a specific subset, not like in general cause there are many amazing fics— is the characterization of harry (and draco), the way he's an absolute fucking doormat!!!! I get it y'all are tryna portray him as a social dimwit, it can be done in a normal way without making him seem like a piece of cardboard! Are we talking about the same dude here?? You don't actually have to completely demolish a character, take away their key traits just to make the other half of the ship look better.
Let me give a pointwise description:
1. Dude stutters after every bloody sentence, like he's so overwhelmed talking to draco "smirking, smooth as butter, sardonic, sleek, godly" Malfoy who keeps insulting him every fucking second. Do you really think that harry would entertain that bullshit, especially in post-war fics!!! Like he'd just take it and not put him in his place?
2. I read this fic long ago and I don't remember the name, but good god it was unbearable. Basically the golden trio apologizes to draco for his tragic life that they were responsible for after the war? Like wtf? Why is there even a need to do that? 😭 That was too much and I stopped midway
3. Again, draco "3 OWLs" Malfoy, some supersmart / second coming of tom riddle, keeps patronizing every action of harry, the amount of times harry's intelligence is insulted? Immediate no from me, like are we still doing the whole "harry dumb mf potter is unobservant, slow, stupid, can't function without some rat hissing in his ear that he's an idiot 24/7"? Don't you think it's lame?
4. Harry has to always put up with his shitty attitude, I am all for character development, I know characters are multi dimensional and complex, and showing draco having a difficult personality is well and good, but it starts to get annoying when there's no real growth in him. I've read fics where he's absolutely despicable until the end which is covered up as him being a dickhead in general and harry "fondly" keeps up with his shit. *gag* canon harry would NEVER
5. I think it genuinely wouldn't make a difference if harry was there or not, I am not kidding or being dramatic, those fics might as well be character × y/n fics
All of this leads me to hate draco's character more! You portray him as this insufferable bastard who has a heart of gold apparently (where?) who has no real growth, shows no humility or regret or even pretends to and you think harry will put up with that?
It would be interesting if he starts out that way, works on himself and grows and changes, that would be more tolerable and interesting!
But no, he's always this annoying guy who hurls insults, keeps mocking harry or his friends every other line, you might argue it's in his character, but aren't those the traits which make him unlikeable? like those aren't cute or quirky? wouldn't it make more sense to show him grow out of it? It's really annoying
And harry, let's not go there, he's a completely new character, might as well be an oc atp, you can't even compare him to canon harry, that's how bad it is! I still haven't completely discussed it cause it's already getting long, but he's this wet bloody blanket and I can't stand it, the gryffs (except Hermione) in general are shown as some bumbling buffoons who can't differentiate between their hand and foot!! And the slytherins are all savvy, masterminds, geniuses... I really don't know whether it's admirable cause it's weird seeing them pushed into these moulds where they can only behave a certain way!
I'm so tired this is still going on like?? Why are their characters such caricatures? All of this sounds like it may have been a thing of past, but I am appalled it's still happening!!!
This is not directed at all drarry fics out there, cause there are some gorgeous fics written by amazing authors who fucking get these characters and make it about them, about their relationship and explore it in a depth and nail their characterizations without making either one of them boring. There are a good number of fics that I actually enjoy cause of the way they write drarry's characters, which makes or breaks the fic imho
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agi-ppangx · 1 year ago
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hi lovely đŸ«¶đŸœ
are you going to make a part 3 of the pregnancy fic? like maybe the boys making sure that you were okay 24/7 and they're always making sure you have with you any food that you crave?
overall just being really chaotic and caring uncles :,)
please don't have to feel pressured to do it 💓
hii !! thank you for this idea ^^ i wont lie, i was kinda struggling and im not sure if this is what you wanted, but at the same time i had so much fun writing this haha hopefully youll like it, please let me know if you enjoyed<3
part one | part two
feedback and reblogs highly appreciatedđŸ«¶đŸœ
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since you and minho told the boys about pregnancy, they haven't stopped talking about it on a daily basis. they called at least four times a day to ask if you were doing okay or if you needed anything. they even created a separate group chat to only talk about you and the baby, worrying over you 24/7. you appreciated their efforts, it was really cute when they pinged you at a random hour with a question "uncle no 5: @/motherđŸ«Ą have you eaten anything today????? we know you've been craving mcdonalds lately so we bought a few happy meals and we're on our way to your apartment !!! see you soon".
that's how you ended up in the current situation - on your couch, minho running some errands in the city, felix and jeongin on both your sides, and twelve happy meals in front of you. "how did this happen
?" you asked, dumbfounded. "i thought you said a few happy meals". you whispered the last part, trying to process all of it. "yeah, i mean, we didn't really know which combination you wanted so we chose, well, twelve," felix stated and jeongin added a quiet "ta-da", both of them smiling awkwardly. after a long moment of silence, you suddenly started sobbing, the hormones taking over. the boys looked at you, confused and scared at the same time - did they do something wrong? "yn, what's- what's going on? are you okay?" jeongin stuttered, not being sure whether to hug you or leave you alone. he made eye contact with felix, silently debating what to do and gesturing vividly over your crying figure. "no, it's just- i can't eat all of this and it makes me sad, because you bought it for me and-" you were starting to ramble and felix had to place his hands on your shoulders to ground you. you looked at him and started taking deep breaths with his help. after you stopped hyperventilating felix spoke softly. "yn, it's absolutely fine, we're not mad at all. just eat as much as you want and we'll take care of the leftovers." you nodded but the tears didn't stop. "i'm really sorry, i appreciate your efforts and i would love to eat all these happy meals but it's just too unhealthy for the baby and i don't want the food to harm it" you began again, the hormones making you feel guilty. "we get it, yn, it's totally okay, don't worry. and please stop crying, it breaks my heart," jeongin said and wiped your tears. you giggled at that a little, feeling a bit better. you took one happy meal and started eating fries. "is there anything else you were craving lately that's maybe healthier than mcdonalds?" felix asked suddenly and you took a moment to think about it. there was one thing, way better than fast food. "cherries, i was craving them for the past few days" you mumbled. "okay, cherries it is" felix stated and took his phone to send a message to the group chat.
"uncle no 5: guys
uncle no 5: you have a mission
uncle no 5: buy some cherries for @/motherđŸ«Ą and come to her and minho hyung's apartment
uncle no 5: also, we have around 11 happy meals to eat
uncle no 1: what the fuck do you mean by 11 happy meals ???
uncle no 5: come and find out ;) bUT DON'T FORGET THE CHERRIES"
after around an hour you heard banging at the door. you wanted to get up and open them, but jeongin was faster. you saw five men at your front door, each of them with a box full of freaking cherries. "hi yn! how are you feeling? are you okay? did- did you cry?" changbin bombarded you with tons of questions as soon as he placed his box on the coffee table in front of you. "i'm fine, don't worry, but- i thought you would bring maybe a kilogram of cherries and not five boxes
" you replied, looking at the fruit in you living room. "i mean, don't get me wrong, that's really thoughtful of you, but what i'm gonna do with all these cherries?" you muttered, getting up and examining the boxes. you noticed on the side of the box that one of those was eight kilograms, which meant
 "where did you even get forty kilograms of cherries?" you exclaimed, astonished. you didn't know if you were happy because of the support or if you wanted to murder them for buying forty kilograms of cherries for one pregnant woman. they remained silent as they smiled awkwardly, caught off guard by your reaction. as you were standing in the middle of the apartment, you heard key jingling at the door and you saw minho enter the room a moment after. he stopped in his tracks as he noticed the chaos - twelve happy meals, five boxes full of cherries and seven men in his living room as well as his pregnant partner standing around the coffee table. "what the hell
?" he looked you in the eyes, dumbfounded. "anyone want to explain this to me?" minho continued, looking around the room and then taking a few careful steps in your direction. "yn was craving some food so we bought it for her
" jeongin started, unsure. minho examined the room once more and then he shifted his gaze at you. he opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but then closed them and simply brushed it off with a wave of his hand. he made his way to the kitchen to take something to drink and in the meantime you gestured at the food and clapped your hands. "okay boys, let's eat!".
there you were, an hour later, munching on some cherries and all of the boys, including minho, sitting around you on the couch and the floor, finishing their happy meals. they placed all of the toys on a pile in the middle of the coffee table and suddenly hyunjin spoke. "hey, we can keep these for the baby. you know, when their older they can play with them, right?". minho jumped at his words, clearly not happy about his idea. "absolutely not, i'm not gonna let my daughter play with 12 plastic minions" he almost shouted and you gave him a warning look, but it was too late. "wait, what? you're having a daughter?" seungmin asked and shifted his shocked gaze to you. "um
 surprise?" you revealed and saw the boys jump from joy, shouting and hugging each other. you peeked at minho, his face was almost as red as the cherries the boys brought and he was fidgeting with the hem of his hoodie. when he sensed your gaze at him, he mumbled a faint "i'm sorry". in response you pecked his lips and smiled widely at him. "it's okay baby, that was actually a smooth way to reveal the gender. unplanned, but certainly smooth," you smirked and minho chuckled at that. you took his hand and watched the chaos together, feeling blessed to have such amazing people in your life.
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cu7ie · 2 years ago
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How big you think toman boys dicks are?
â €â €â €â €â €â €â €â €à«źâ‚ÂŽïœĄâ€ą ᔕ â€ąïœĄ`₎ა excellent question.
cw; cock convention (you'll see), talk about dicks and balls at length. minor mentions of sex alongside.
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hey I'm a 'bigger is better' kinda guy, so this is a biased as fuck list. Also this is basically a dick disambiguation, a dong dissertation; look @ me doing what no one asked for (with much love ofc).
In my mind, body, heart and soul I want to say Sano Manjiro is slanging serious cock. 
I don’t know if it’s because I am devastatingly aroused by this man or what, but baaabes the way I want to say he has a thick, fat eight incher broooo.
But I'm going to be so real, I don’t honestly think it’s that big. It's definitely longer than average; a nice six inches and thicker around the middle, got good weight to it, flushed a pretty peach pink and slightly crooked. He leans left and sticks out (points forward) when he's hard. 
MANJIRO HAS HUGE NUTS. Spiritually and sexually. He has a nice tight sack so it feels like you're holding a weighted pouch; overall, pretty penis. Would suck it, would fuck it, good allrounder. He is uncircumcised.
Second-in-command Ken Ryuguji got a lil sumn sumn he's working with, too. The thickness of his dick is pretty standard, but the boy has length. He's reaching up into places you didn't even know things could go; discovering new constellations with the way he's making you see stars.
He's a healthy 7.4 inches (and yes I am giving them decimal sizes, bite me) with a smooth ball sack (that hangs, mind you) because Draken takes care to groom himself regularly. He indulges in a little bush above his cock, but likes to keep it nice and pretty for the ladies and the gentlemen. He’s pale as opposed to pink, with a little ridge, or vein rather, that runs along the underside of his shaft. It isn’t crooked, doesn’t lean one way or the other. Draken is circumcised.
Takemichi Hanagaki has a pretty typical penis - groomed but not overly so, uncircumcised. He’s at a standard 5 inches, just shy of five n’ a half.  It’s adorable, the way it sticks straight up when he’s hard, getting angrily red at the tip as precome dribbles down the head.
Takemichi has cute nuts. They are dainty and a little hairy.
Keisuke Baji is so close to having the whole 7 inches. He stops short at about 6.9, with dark wiry black hair surrounding the base, trimming very very occasionally. It’s heavy and bobs up against his stomach whenever he’s horny. He’s also uncircumcised. His penis is a few shades darker than the rest of his skin, and its slightly redder when he’s fully hard. 
What you gotta watch out for is how thick it is! Bro can plug you up without issue, stretches holes with absolutely no problem, proper prep is mandatory just so you don’t wind up all loosey goosy when he’s finished with ya.  His balls are a tad smaller than average, nestled cutely beneath a big ol’ bully. 
Kisaki Tetta has a small dick. It’s barely 4 n’ a half; bro probably has pebbles for nuts idk. He is extremely well groomed, almost to the point of obsessive trimming and sometimes hair plucking. The enigma that is Kisaki Tetta’s genitals is most accurately referred to as a ‘chode’. The most notably girthy penis, as though to offset its uh .. longitudinaly challenged nature.
It’s cute I guess. Would look the cutest with a bow on it. Circumsized. Not tanned like the rest of his skin, a little awkwardly pale actually.
Pah-chin and Peh-yan, have roughly similar dicks. Pah-chin’s is chubby and about five inches, Peh-yan’s is a little skinnier and a little longer but not by much. Neither of them really overly care for grooming - but Pah-chin gets on the band wagon first after he meets his girlfriend (eventual wife). Peh-yan is a classic rebel w/o a cause, shaves but can’t do it well so he has some velcro feeling deal. Feels like handling a cactus. 
Pah-chin has fat balls. 
Peh-yan does not. But he has a very noticable curve to his penis; it bends to the left. Neither of them have been circumsized.
Single mother Mitsuya’s dick looks so pretty & perfect that you’re so jealous he doesn’t put himself on display for the world to see. He’s about 6.4 inches, with a juicy vein that appears on one side (left) whenever he’s about to cum. His dick is generally the same shade as the rest of him, but the tip is flushed the cutest red, a silver prince albert adorning his cock - absolutely fine piece of jewlery.
A uniform thickness up down n all around, nice succulent balls that fit perfectly in your mouth, uncircumsized. You can’t miss with that one. 
Shuji Hanma is intimidating off of his size alone. He’s on the skinnier side, but the eight mouth-watering inches he whips out of his pants would make any whore scramble to close their legs. It has a bit of a taper, thickest at it’s base and getting slightly narrow toward the head. It’s a little crooked.
 A man who cares a lot about style, he maintains a thick but very neat and symmetrical bush. His balls fit pretty snugly in the palm of your hands. They’re a little wrinkly, but not the worst you’ve ever seen.
Those bitches hang. Whenever he fucks the pap pap sound of his balls clapping the back of your ass is so prevalent its a little hypnotizing and disorienting. Hanma is circumsized. 
Mean Mr. Muto Yasuhiro is probably the biggest you’ve seen out of the line up. He stands at a polite eight point four, and though slightly bigger than Hanma he is thicker by a decent amount. Any partner of Muto’s often has trouble finding someone who can stack up - after he pounds the shape of his dick into them, nothing else can satisfy. He has an uncircumsized dick and enough foreskin that he has a noticeable hood. He shears himself all the way down, not a bush or even a lick of hair above his dick. He doesn’t do much with his balls besides trim them. Muto has a nice pair of huevos - they look like two larger than average eggs. 
Chifuyu has a cute dick, but the size he’s working with is pretty common. He’s five and some odd inches, a little skinny at the base but thick at the top. He has a very nice cockhead, perfectly shaped like a mushroom cap, looks like it might be fun to suck on. When it’s hard it bounces up against his stomach, raring to go.
I personally believe Nahoya has dick game on 100, but isn’t packing never before seen heat. He’s just shy of six inches, typical thickness
 
His balls look nice.  He’s uncircumsized but has a very minimal amount of foreskin, a nicely rounded cockhead and a slight upward curve that can really make a bitch arch their back y’kno? 
Hakkai has a big ol’ dick he’s too embarassed to do anything with. He’s seven in a half inches and worries exponentially about breaking his partners in half. The boy has girth, he’s trying to have fun, not put his honey in a hospital bed. Hakkai isn’t really wise to all that manscaping biz, but he doesn’t grow much hair down their naturally. 
His dick so heavy that it hangs down low, and honestly he’s a little embarrassed about his size. The apprehension in his partners eyes, something about it squeezes his heart in the least pleasant of ways. Phat nuts obviously (this is me we’re talking about) that rest very snugly beneath his cock. Circumsized.
Souya doesn’t think his dick is anything special because he has 0 frame of reference - what’s average, what’s small. He’s definitely bigger than average, a healthy 6.7 inches with fat nuts full of cum to boot. It’s really nice. Well proportioned, mouth watering kind of cock - with a curly little nest of hair. Emphasis on little - Souya appreciates good hygiene. 
His dick is really sensitive too. Handjobs can turn him into a whiny mess, never mind a warm mouth or a wet hole. Uncircumsized.
Sanzu has a nice seven inches, on the skinny side and wholly pale like the rest of his body. He really doesn’t know how to handle the thing, awkward instead of suave, mostly worried about getting the sensation without paying mind or merit to how to angle it to make you moan like how those pornstars he’s seen do. It frustrates him to no end, but he’s also stubborn and doesn’t like being instructed - just prefers you take it and not complain. He is circumsized. 
Last but not least, Kazutora. He’s not coming out on top, but he’s decently thick all around - not as thick as Baji but by heavens and lords above he knows how to use it. He actually prefers blowjobs to some extent so he can see and hear you gag - makes him feel much bigger. He has unremarkable balls. They exist, nothing to write home about. He has really soft hair, so when he’s ramming his cock down your throat, you don’t feel like you’re kissing a cactus - which is a nice change of pace.
He’s about 6.3 inches, and is uncircumcised. 
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