#i'm LOSING my fucking MIND i can't BELIEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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oh my god. oh my fucking god. everyone on this show is a lesbian. oh my goD
#i'm LOSING my fucking MIND i can't BELIEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#agatha all along#agatha all along spoilers#screaming crying ripping my shirt off howling at the fucking moon!!!!!!!!!!!!!#mcu#sorry or just queer i got so excited i forgot my own sexuality whatever WLW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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HELLO??? ARE YOU FFUCKING KIDDING ME...
#SHAKING AND TREMBLING#I WAS HOPING JOKER MIVHT HAVE SOME INVOLVEMENT IN THE RH GOTHAM WAR TIE IN BUT I DIDNT DARE HOPE...#the fucking hearts i'm losing my MIND#can't believe joker divorced batman and now rather than reconcile he's flirting with his SON. who he MURDERED. who's been trying to KILL HIM#ghelp#i'm so glad someone is finally tapping the potential of their dynamic in canon#and during the batjokes divorce arc no less...#effervescent
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resisting every urge to just chop my hair off right the fuck now.
#i want to so so so so so so fucking bad but i won't because i don't have faith i'll do it like i want it#can't believe i'm saying i have something in mind that i want#but really what have i got to lose. maybe i need a backup plan??#def gonna do it if i do before i shower. yep.#404 not found#i can't do it i can barely hold on to being a man with long hair. dysphoria and the prospect of styling as a concept#has my brain firing alarm switches. sniles
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Men stop commenting on my food challenge.
#commenting on how eating bagels isn't healthy despite the man commenting being fat themselves#so like whatever that's annoying but oh well#then I'm eating pistachios which are “healthy” and the maintenance guy gives me shit about the salt being bad for me#like at least 3-4x a week the whole two men at my workplace have to say some shit about what I'm eating#fucking mind your business#i'm sooooo tired of my whole life people fucking commenting on my food#and i can't even bring up my eating disorder history bc no one believes it or they congratulate me#no one believes someone obese can have a restrictive eating disorder#and if you finally manage to get someone to believe you they congratulate you on your weight loss#fat people can have eating disorders that aren't strictly binge eating#and eating disorders should not be encouraged or congratulated#ahhhhhhh i'm gonna lose it one day#just stop fucking commenting on my food or health#kfi txt#tw eating disorder
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I had a dream that I got my Magic Leap headset and then took it to a forest to create magical crystals and rainbows in the streams there and then I took it to the beach to decorate the sand with glowing shells and stars!!!!!!! and then woke up to realize I’ll soon be able to do these things FOR REAL!!!!!!!
#incessant meowing#I'VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG TO GET A HEADSET THAT WORKS OUTSIDE#the possibilities are mind boggling#i won't actually be bringing it to the beach because yknow. sand.#BUT STILL.... i've got some fuckign PLANS#most of them revolving around celebrating earth day next month#i still can't believe i'm actually getting one of these headsets to work with#it doesn't use passthrough video like other headsets#it actually projects fucking holographic images onto your retinas#it has a depth sensor that can scan your surroundings to generate a 3d map#and this 3d map is used to project shadows of virtual objects onto your surroundings and also generates collision#the lenses have a dimming feature that you can use to turn down the brightness on all or parts of reality#for various purposes involving holograms...... which i will be making......#?!?!?!#like WHAT!!!!!!!!#i wonder if i'll ever be able to wrap my head around any of this#one day this tech will be as commonplace as all the other miraculous computing devices around us we all take for granted#but right now??? i'm living in a scifi novel and i'm losing my mind about it
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Oh come on
#persona 5: the phantom x#persona 3#i can't fucking believe this#why would they do it twice#i'm losing my mind
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why why why why why why is any of this happening to me what did i do wrong why why why why why who let this happen if there is a god surely he is a cruel one for letting my mother have children in the first place why hasn't anyone noticed why didn't anyone stop her why why why why why why why why why why why whyhwywhyehyehywhywhyhywhywhywhywht
#marin complains#I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE#THE MESS IS PILING UP NOBODY BELIEVES ME I CAN'T TELL ANYONE I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING MY MIND#SHE'S SO NEEDLESSLY CRUEL EVERYTHING HAS TO BE ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME I CAN'T DO THIS#WHEN I WAS A KID I THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO BEAT ME WITH COINS INA SOCK AND WHEN I TOLD HER ABOUT THAT#SHE LAUGHED AND JUST SAID I TOOK THINGS SO LITERAL AS A CHILD#AND DID NOT CONSIDER WHY A CHILD WOULD BELIEVE THEIR PARENT WOULD DO THAT TO THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE#EVERY DAY IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE ALL MY MEMORIES ARE SHARP LIKE KNIVES AND HAZY LIKE FEVER DREAMS
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#i have a severe mental illness called wishing it was 2011 again#and i was a fan of 1d#like i need to back in time and relive all of it correctly and maybe then it would have ended differently and we wouldn't be here now#this all has to be wrong#this has to be an alternate timeline that got fucked up#i'm supposed to be 13 years old in 2011 listening to this same fucking ed sheeran song happening to switch onto the x factor#or logging onto this fucking website#and finding harry and louis and liam and zayn and niall when they were babies and i was a baby#and growing up together#and they should all be here now still together and performing every now and then together with their solo stuff#idk i haven't heard any songs off + in a while and it's doing my head in#reality feels distorted#i don't want to believe this is real i can't#this has to be a nasty dream maybe i'll wake up in my bedroom on the matress on the floor just after we painted it when i was 12 turnign 13#and i'll get to do it right this time#i miss 1d so badly i'm losing my fucking mind#liam i wish you could come back
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Dreams. Dreams. DREAMS!
The one where I'm watching a movie at Luther's house and she is dressed in almost Russian attire - Fancy, cold, and so beautiful. And we're in bed and I'm explaining my excitement over the Pathologic movie and later we have to deal with zombies but whatever.
And I'm playing with children's toys there. Everyone is so young.
Real life when we were read The Last Unicorn or something, something, at the cafeteria table. The book where the protagonist is taught how to keep her thoughts locked up tight like a box.
Ugh.
#so many connecting strings it's almost like it all MEANS SOMETHING#I just can't believe it. That it doesn't.#and all this time I've... I've spent talking about how our realities are different and how the rules are different... well#this puts that in a perspective that is new.#and it's <<what have you been doing for the last nine months>> from my dad#and it's my general lack of... faith in myself since I got sick. and more accurately when I lost my friend#I feel so stupid. for every little bit of it. for him. for believing in this. (I want to believe). for following my intuition. ("following#yeah. you get the point. I don't know. What Am I even doing. Obviously I'm where I'm supposed to be. I feel so bleak. I want this to be ove#the last NINE MONTHS> you know. the term of a . pregnancy#(pregnant with my delusions maybe)#I just can't even feel happy or experience things without running it through the lens of my father#and I'm worried about him I. want to make sure he's okay and I want him to be safe and happy#it doesn't matter if I KILL MYSELF. it's just too expensive to do so right now and I have a responsibility in Kira. I mean. I do.#Icy telling me that it's going to be March and then for March to be a whirlwind of grief and pain leading into my sickness#and now sitting with this deadline. I think about it every moment of the day I'm not occupied.#UGH. thinking about my hospital bill. that I shouldn't fucking have for a procedure I didn't fucking need. Glad that experience is over.#UGH.#and now back to limerence#what about the dream where I'm actually fucking competent and my method of doing things helps save everyone who was incapacitated#in a very cool Top Gun style.#God. Damn it.#GOD DAMN IT#What am I supposed to do though?? I'm meant to keep living and push on from all of that. How am I supposed to let that go?#I mean everything I hoped and believed in? It's just getting pushed off to accommodate the timeline?#I mean fine? But what?#I was drifting for so long and now?? I'm both healing and losing my mind. man.#God. I'm really disappointed.#nd I have a really hard time doing or accepting nice things for myself because of the Dad Filter#individuate kid. c'mon it doesn't matter what he thinks about your interpersonal relationships#not to mention I have no idea what's going on in his mind. although it's surprising that I did manage to clock what was bothering him
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omg YEAH Buck (from the🚨🚨🚨 weewoo firefighter show) is bi!!!!!! We as a fandom kinda called it happening but in a like….. joking way??? Like no way they’d actually do that but !!!!!!!! HERE WE ARE lmao
I remember seeing all the gifs from the end of s4 on my dash and being like huh… gay firefighters fr?? And then getting into the show and realising oh… nvm lmao but god. GOD they actually did it!!! (halfway lol but like 👀 it could actually for real happen now 👀 )
Destiel wishes it had what you guys do 💀
#I'm low-key losing my mind#I can't believe they ACTUALLY made him bisexual#That's fucking insane!#For once#For fucking ONCE the fans were right#And the gay subtext was gay subtext!!!#Fucking gosh
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god kebian should've won lr4m2. imagine if toby lost twice in a row. imagine if kebian's only loss was to alphagenos. imagine if- okay well losers' finals was going to be both contestants that lost to ag no matter what. i don't think they could've beat dubduo but just imagine
#like. i voted for toby for a reason. because underatle/general toby (at this point) reps are in a shitty situation in the scene rn#where they're common as all hell but can't ever make it far enough for people to be satisfied#just look at mettaton mwc & mettaton acor & mettaton (& co) mwm#god. results talk has gotten my mind going#like. i can see toby taking the entire tournament if the track output for the next rounds goes a real specific way#and yet simultaneously i can't imagine him taking losers' finals#and fuck me i don't want to even think about toby in goners like no matter what happens there it's not going to be great#he loses twice in a row? get fucked undertale rep. he survives? of course the undertale rep clings to life#i wish he'd beat alphagenos. i don't want him anywhere near goners bracket.#i can't believe i'm malding about a loss that i helped contribute to. kebian were so good & the flesh have such potential#i think i need to start making more separate posts rather than shoving like 3 posts' worth of thoughts into the tags of just one
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OH MY GOD
ix. deer dolly
see all chapters here apologies for the delay! this SHORT chapter is all about the long-awaited reunion, filled with steamy scenes. no plot points, just pure passion. if this portrayal isn't your cup of tea, feel free to skip to the next chapter: to be posted in a few days. tags: fem! reader, alastor being demisexual/demiromantic, allusions to marital activities, steamy bordering smut, mention of blood and injury, religious symbolism, love as a fucked up obsession
As you shut your eyes, the world around you dissolves into swirling shadows. The darkness envelops you, cocooning you in a sense of weightlessness. Pressed against Alastor, you bury your face into his suit, your cheek brushing against the smooth silk of his tie. The decrepit, torn building fades away, replaced by the crisp, clean ambiance of a hotel room. The air feels fresher, devoid of the musty odors that had clung to your senses before. Light streams in through the windows, casting delicate patterns on the walls that dance and sway with ethereal grace.
"Cher."
Rough lips press tenderly against the side of your temple and a heave escapes your chest, tears tracing silent paths down your cheeks, their presence unnoticed until they meet the fabric beneath your eyes, staining Alastors suit. The noise of your own blood rushing in your ears drowns out all other sounds, leaving you isolated in a world of agony.
Suddenly, the pain in your ankle resurges with a vicious intensity, sending waves of agony coursing through your body. A whimper escapes your lips, barely audible amidst the overwhelming sensation. It feels as though your very being is folding in on itself, ribs straining against flesh, breath catching in your throat. With the adrenaline long gone, every ache and throb becomes magnified, threatening to consume you whole.
"Al, it hurts," you manage to utter, your voice strained with anguish.
Alastor remains silent, his dilated, frenzied eyes locked onto your shaking form. His hand reaches up, lingering where your throat meets your jaw, the sharp points of his claws pressing down with a calculated pressure. You feel a sharp nip, and a bead of blood begins to seep from the small wound, a crimson offering that seems to stir something primal within him.
His mouth waters, and he swallows audibly, his gaze fixated on the trickle of blood.
"Sweet girl," he murmurs softly, the words a stark contrast to the hunger in his eyes. His thumb moves to gently swipe away the tears that streak down your cheeks, his touch oddly tender despite the predatory gleam in his gaze.
Leaning down, Alastor presses a tender kiss against the small wound, his lips a soothing balm against the raw edges of your suffering. A rush of conflicting emotions floods through you—pain, longing, and a desperate craving for his touch. With a soft sniffle, you raise a trembling hand to press against the back of his head, your fingers threading through his hair.
Alastor responds to your desperate craving, his hands flying to your hips as he lifts you effortlessly and lays you down onto a nearby chair. One of his shadows encircles your ankle, causing you to tense instinctively. However, instead of pain, you feel a cool sensation spreading through your skin, soothing the ache and tension. With a sigh of relief, you close your eyes, allowing yourself a moment to relax into the chair.
All the while, Alastor's gaze pierces through you, his eyes dark with desire and desperation.
You're right in front of him, vulnerable and exposed, a temptation too potent to resist. The taste of your blood still lingers on his tongue and he longs to sink his teeth into your soft flesh, to taste the sweetness of your essence as he consumes you with a fervor bordering on madness, leaving marks that brand you as his and his alone. Every fiber of his being yearns to ravage and possess you, to consume you in a frenzy of passion.
But he understands that to yield to his desires would mean risking further harm to you, and he cannot bear the thought of causing you any more pain.
And so, with a tortured soul and a heavy heart, he fights against the primal instincts that surge within him, denying himself the one thing he craves above all else.
As the minutes pass and the pain begins to dissipate, you find yourself panting softly, your chest rising and falling with each ragged breath. Exhaustion and relief wash over you in waves, mingling with the lingering ache that still echoes through your body.
Gazing up at Alastor, you smile, your hands instinctively moving to rest on his lower abdomen, seeking the reassuring warmth of his touch in the dimly lit room.
A silence stretched between you, thick and suffocating.
Alastor's hands remain clenched at his sides, the strain evident in the way his claws dig into his palms, threatening to break through the surface of his flesh. The protection of his gloves is the only barrier preventing the sharp tips from drawing blood.
His intense gaze, like twin flames burning in the shadows, enveloped you in their fiery embrace. Crimson eyes, almost glowing with intensity, held you captive, trapping you in a cage of his unspoken desires.
With each passing moment, it became increasingly apparent that he was relinquishing control, leaving you with the reins in your hands and him at your mercy.
Straightening yourself, you let your nails graze over his abdomen before landing on his beating chest. The rhythmic pulse beneath your touch erratic. Finally, after what feels like an eternity to Alastor, you break the stifling stillness with a voice barely above a whisper. "On your knees."
Alastor's gaze darkens, a predatory glint flashing in his eyes as he pauses for a moment, as if considering your request. Then, with a slow, deliberate movement, your husband obeys, sinking to his knees before you.
Wasting no time, you seize him by the collar, pulling him close as your lips collide in a fevered kiss. The red lipstick you wear leaves its mark on his mouth, staining and smearing across his lips, cheek, and jaw. A low growl escapes him as he tugs off the jacket to his suit before his claws are grazing down your legs, leaving a trail of destruction as the fabric of your stockings tears with an audible rip.
With a breathless whimper, his name rolls off your lips, and Alastor freezes in place. It's as if something inside him shatters, a floodgate bursting open to release the pent-up longing and passion that he's kept restrained for so long.
Suddenly, his arms tighten around you, pulling you closer as he responds to the urgency of your kiss with equal fervor. With a low, primal grunt, your husband pushes against you. Every brush of his lips against yours, every press of his body against yours, speaking of a hunger that can no longer be contained. It's a hunger born of years of yearning and longing, a hunger that demands to be sated here and now.
Both of you lean back, lost in the intoxicating frenzy of desire. The chair beneath you groans and creaks ominously under the strain before finally giving way with a loud snap.
You yelp in surprise as the ground rushes up to meet you, but before you can hit the hard floor, Alastor's arms wrap around you protectively, catching you in a tight embrace. With a swift motion, he pulls you up into his embrace, effortlessly supporting your weight as he holds you close.
With deliberate steps, Alastor guides you to the edge of the bed before gently lowering you onto its soft surface. You land with a huff and a thud, the mattress embracing you like a comforting embrace.
As you settle onto the plush bedding, Alastor follows suit, hovering above you with his arms caging your head. Leaning down, he presses a trail of kisses down the valley of your breasts, each touch igniting a fire within you.
The straps of your white silk dress are tugged down, revealing the curve of your chest as you melt into the softness of the mattress. Your body instinctively arches towards his touch, every nerve alive with anticipation. As his hands explore the contours of your body, your mind succumbs to a blissful haze, thoughts dissolving into a fog of desire and need.
"Al..."
Alastor continued his ministrations, each kiss a fervent prayer offered up to the goddess beneath him. A reunion long overdue, it felt akin to a sacred ritual. With each tender touch of his lips, he sought to worship you in the most unholy of ways, offering himself up as a devoted supplicant at the altar of your desires.
#oh my fucking god#i can't believe it#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#is this a surprise???#i'm losing my mind#i'm loving this#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel
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on a call with people to receive benefits for being disabled and they're like so Why can't you work full time? 🤔
#LIKE GIRL DAMN. WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M HERE FOR.#can't be super honest with people and say oh i was losing my mind at my last job and was abt ready to *** BUT#so i'm like uhhhh i'm applying for... x... because i can't keep a job#but that's not enough so#then they ask you invasive fucking questions like that like. idk. get a clue.#☝️ i get it it's part of the job but also. it's really not. you want a doctor's note if you don't believe me 🥹 don't make me sick ❌️#god. sorry i'm mad.#404 not found#it'll be at least manageable next month hopefully probably if i'm not completely cut off from society. at least i have food. and shelter#for nowwww.....#The Answer Is In The Question.
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ZOEY/WILL HAPPENING????? IN CANON????? BEFORE MY VERY EYES??????
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#MY DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE#tbh my real otp is zoey/echo#but i deeply fucks with ashewater#I CAN'T BELIEVE IT ITS HAPPENING!!!!!!!!#I'm like 50 pages into 'zoey is too drunk for this dystopia' and I'm already losing my goddamn mind
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bro i'm so happily sick of people lol. like yeah ok. guess u can get into my head + see all the little beautiful painful nuances of my history which i never told a single soul. keep telling me why i have no mastery over my life while u r the expert <3
#like these r all exceptionally beautiful moments. if i have 2 choose between them + u... bestie you are LOSING!#simply not scrubbing them from my mind just 2 make u look sane in comparison!#i can't believe how many times i had 2 sacrifice them though. like those are precious moments. very precious things. i had 2 be so clean#so that i could make everyone around me look so good. but i'm fucking gorgeous. my life is so gorgeous. rich + complex +#very very beautiful.
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Dream goal is make some progress (any progress, honestly) on a real, true wip that I'm writing completely from scratch. Ideally it would be Divinity WIP, or maybe High Fantasy WIP (they take place in the same world, I'm pretty sure), but at this point I'll take literally anything. As much as I adore my dnd writing, I miss writing a story that is completely 100% my own.
But I really am going to have my work cut out for me. Divinity WIP is currently just a big pile of concepts and themes with no plot or developed characters, and High Fantasy WIP is literally just vibes. I don't even have the faintest idea what kind of characters I want, not to mention the complete and utter lack of any kind of plot whatsoever. So even just doing character work and worldbuilding would be good enough for me, but I'd love to also get the ball rolling on some plot ideas for one or both of these stories...
If I can't manage that, then I'd like to write more of my dnd character snippets, especially ones that aren't just session scene rewrites, be they backstory vignettes, AU / what if things, or just fun little character exploration.
✨ What are your writing goals for 2025? ✨
This can be anything from “write one sentence” to “publish a book!” It’s all valid!
#speaking of dnd writing last night at 3am I got a fucking PHENOMENAL idea of what to do w/ the guy who sold Rook to Wolf in the first place.#and I can't WAIT to make it happen. The dialogue ideas that popped into my head were so good I'm losing my mind#*slaps Lanny's death scene* This bad boy can fit so many themes and parallels and so much characterization in it!!!#in two weeks someone remind me to do a write-up and share it with commentary on why it makes me lose my mind so much.#cause I could talk about how much stuff is going on in this scene for at least 15 minutes.#Divinity WIP has been floating distantly in the back of my mind since late January or early February when I finished playing WotR#and I really want to make this vague concept a bit more of a reality.#the problem is that both High Fantasy WIP and Divinity WIP are going to be *very* hard to write from a technical standpoint#I just don't know if my skills are there yet to do either of these concepts justice.#morrigan.text#writing goals 2025#my writing goals#writing goals#for some reason I've tricked myself into thinking my dnd writing doesn't count as ''real'' writing.#probably because it's just a bunch of unconnected scenes.#but I've never ever managed anything more than that even with my well over 20k words for ATQH back in 2021-2022.#I need that post with the certificate that says ''write whatever you want forever'' and the one that says ''all writing is real writing''.#need to hammer those into my head until I really believe them.
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