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banquetwriter · 2 months ago

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୨୧ Gardening buddy ୨୧

pairing: Joel Miller ♡︎ Fem!Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ porn with plot, sorta sub!joel, shy Joel, Tommy being an ass, softdom-ish!joel, pussy pronouns, Reader has hair long enough to “gather” (tho it doesn't matter much) with female anotomy, pnv and f receivng oral

summary: ʚ you have some plans to expand the garden and poor Joel just can't resist you ɞ

Words: 5.2k

A/N: lets pretend it didn't take me 22 days to write this lol

P:1 P:2 P:3

Joel swirled his whiskey slightly. He didn't even really want the damned thing. However, he would never decline a free drink. His jaw clenched slightly, eyeing the crowd. It was one of the many community events Jackson liked to host. Joel hadn't gone to many of them if he was honest but Tommy being the ever-intrusive brother he was, he pretty much had no choice but to show up tonight.

Plus you were gonna be there tonight, which was always a bonus.

It was no secret to Joel (or anyone else for that matter) how beautiful you are. You were younger, younger than him at least. He wasn't one hundred percent but early thirties he was guessing.

You were funny, talented, and had a level head. Dangerous combo for a man like Joel. He'd seen you around of course. You didn’t go on patrols but you did run the gardening area when it came time and helped teach when it was cold.

Joel had noticed you but never had a real reason to say much to you so he didn't. That wasn't until Tommy had introduced you both. Fucking Tommy. You wanted to expand the garden, so you went to Tommy.

————

Joel had just gotten off an extra patrol shift. He didn't have much to do nowadays so it was either sit around and play his six-string or go out and try and help out.

He had made a promise to Maria to stop by tonight for some planning. He wasn't too sure why, seeing how Joel didn't contribute much. As he knocked on the door and Maria’s half smile greeted him his curiosity grew.

Everyone knew Joel was a little shy even if he would never say that. He heard your voice, he'd seen you teaching the littles outside enough times to recognize your voice by now. Why the hell were you here?

“They're in the kitchen. Go ahead and head on back. I'll be right there.” Maria said with a soft smile and a strong hold on Joel's shoulder. She released her grip on the man, smirking to herself and she walked away. As her boot heel clicks got further away it dawned on Joel he had to now navigate a social situation with his brother and a person he didn't know too well.

Great. This oughta go well.

His face was neutral as he walked in. “Oh, there he is! My big brother, ladies and gentlemen.” Tommy walked around his kitchen island to hug his brother. Joel didn't have a moment to prepare as his younger brother's arm came crashing down around his shoulder. His eyes flicker to you who is, In defense, looking away but quietly giggling at his brother's actions.

“Jesus Tommy, what is all of this about?” he says, fighting the way a red tint covers his face, neck, and ears. Embarrassment floods his system. Tommy loosens his grips eagerly looking at you. “Go ahead tell him.” you raise your eyebrows in surprise at the sudden spotlight.

“Oh! Well um, well I sorta run all the gardening and whatnot here as well as teach the younglings how to garden and- sorry I'm rambling,” you say waving your hand a bit with a wide smile. You take a deep breath and lean into the kitchen island pointing to a paper, probably a map.

“The garden needs an expansion. There are a lot of people here, and everyone has a mouth to feed. I'm not thinking huge but bigger,” you said gesturing with your hands. Joel nods, walking over to the workspace. “Alright,” he states. Seems like a reasonable plan. “What’ you need me for?” his hands find the counter.

Your eyes flick down but just as soon as they look down they look right back up. “Well I came to Tommy- well actually to Maria THEN to Tommy but he said you're the man for the job,” you said placing your hand on your hip. Course Tommy would sign him up to do the grunt work for a pretty girl like you.

The old man's eyes shifted to his brother who was now feeling less confident in his skills. “It ain't a big job Joel. We’d get the supplies in a few weeks max.” Tommy said encouragingly. He thought for a few moments.

He should say no. He's old and he ain't got time for no gardens.

————

His stomach swirled with anxiety for what felt like the thousandth time tonight. He told himself he was simply observing the dancing crowd. But he knew who he was looking for. You. He was looking for your awfully friendly smile. Your worn but cute jeans.

He had spent so much time searching, eyeing the crowd he didn't see the very object of his affection damn near skipping up to him. “Hey gardening buddy!” you shouted holding out your arms.

Joel's eyes widen at your contact. Your wave of joy crashed into him. “Woah don't kill the old man now!” Tommy shouts from the bar before getting a not-so-playful nudge from his wife. You pull away looking back to rolling your eyes at the younger Miller.

“What an ass,” you mutter, eyes fluttering back to Joel. Joel smiles looking down too nervous to look at you. “But how are you? Enjoyin’ the dancing?” your hand found its way to his shoulder. Your fingers smoothed over the fabric of his jacket, dipping under and pulling his flannel out.

His eyes watch your fingers drop the fabric as you chuckle to yourself. “What?” he finally manages. You were so touchy… it was weird. He didn't mind really. It wasn't anything that would cross a line. Just friendly things.

Or he thinks.

He hopes it's more, secretly. There are several reasons why it could never work out between you two… You are younger, sweeter, softer.

He can't think about it too long. He's alone most days now. And thinking about how fucking soft you are will ruin him. When those thoughts bubble up into his mind they don't just stay there. They find their way into his bloodstream… his bones.

He can picture your smile, the way your lips feel against his. The curve of your back, ass, thighs… anything his large rough hands could get on. He'd want all part of you. You smell like honey, or maybe you actually smell like honey.

He blinks back to you smiling looking at him expectantly. “Yeah uh…” he scratches the back of his head, taking a deep breath in. You do smell like honey. “Ain't much of a dancer, to be honest darlin’,” he sighs. You nod your head with a smile, it is your turn to look down now. “Yeah sorry, I ain't buyin’ what you selling honey.”

His eyebrows raise as his lips follow in a smirk. “Yeah?” he asks, placing his bands on his hips. Your arms cross with defiance, “Yeah.” your confidence oozed off of you like a waterfall.

Maybe it was the drink you had or maybe it was you trying to ignore the beating in your heart whenever you saw Joel but you needed a dance.

————

You stood in the front room of Tommy’s looking at all their pictures as Maria shifted around her drawers for something she owed you. Joel, having just agreed to help you expand the garden, had gotten a hard smack on the back from Tommy, a warm smile from Maria and you guessed it a hug from you.

Joel rounded the corner to see Maria approaching you with something small in her hand. “Hey thanks,” you said taking it from her and pushing it in your pocket. “Anything to take the load off.” she winked at you.

His sister-in-law looked at him and with a quick nod and a “Joel.” it was just you two in the living room. “Thank you again Joel for helping me with this and I promise I will help as much as I physically can,” you said walking up to him. “Quit thanking me, it's not a big deal.” not needing to put his heart in any more strain.

You let out the (cutest) giggle and stepped back slightly. “Heh- sorry. My name is y/n by the way. I feel like I didn't introduce myself earlier.”

It felt silly to Joel you felt the need to introduce yourself to him. Like you two haven't met before. Of course, it dawned on him. You just don't think about him as much as he thinks about you. Why would you? He's just Tommy's older brother.

“I know what yer’ name is darlin’.” A slight awkwardness hangs in the air, just like the Christmas lights in December. There to look at and admire. “Right, sorry. I know who you are too. Joel Miller. Tommy’s handsome older brother. You've got quite the reputation.” you said with a wide smile trying to use it to cover up how your face was starting to burn.

If your face was burning Joel’s must be on fire as he opened his mouth to speak but not a word came out. Not only did you know who he was but you called him handsome. That's when the schoolboy crush began in its full form.

No longer could he pretend he just thought you were pretty; those pesky little feelings found a way to weasel into his heart. “Handsome, huh?” he asked, not able to make eye contact.

You bit your lip at his nervousness, toe-ing forward slightly. “Well sure,” you explain. “Hard to miss those big ol’ muscles of yours riding into town,” you said. Your words may be teasing but your tone wasn't. You were more quiet now.

That's right. The old shift he and Tommy would do usually had him coming into Jackson as soon as you were bringing the littles on a walk around. That means not only did you know him, you saw him. Nearly every damn day. Did you miss him on days he wasn't there? Ever think about sayin’ hi?

“Yeah uh, I remember now. You used to have the kids out about the same time every day when me and’ Tommy’d bring in the horses.” he said gesturing to nothing.

“Yup, that's right. Hey, why don't you do that shift anymore,” you asked, shifting your weight on your feet. It was weird that this didn't feel weirder. Felt like y'all had been friends a while and not for 30 minutes over talking about some garden bed plans.

It still was awkward. It seemed like a tidal wave could hit and you still wouldn't shake the nerves.

It had been a while since he did that patrol. “Oh well, they can't have an old man on the new guy shift eh?” he said, trying to ease ever-flowing anxieties. It was also a reminder for himself. He is older than you. Therefore out of reach for you and him. Couldn't help it, however. Thinking of the older man. You say older like he isn't a mere 20-something years older.

“Old man? I've seen the way you wrangle those horses. Old man, where huh?” you teased, arm reaching out for your coat on the rack. He chuckled following your lead pulling his old and tattered Carhart piece on. “Yeah well, I ain't young like I used to be. Think Tommy started to notice finally.”

He thought back to when he first got to Jackson. Begging Tommy to take Ellie from him and save her. He felt like he was going to get her killed, no he knew he was going to. He was right. He ended up hurting her worse than any scar could.

Now he had no one. Except Tommy. Stupid Tommy.

————

“Well unfortunately for you I was just about to head out.” Joel declared. He wasn't planning on it but now was as good of a time as any. Wasn't it? “Oh leave? Oh no no sorry honey I'm not letting you leave without at least one dance. Are we clear?” you tease poking his chest slightly.

You laced your fingers with his guiding him to the ‘dance floor’ of the tipsy bison. He felt the warm feeling of your skin bleed into his. He felt the eyes of other patrons on you both. An old man and a young girl.

The slow country song filled the air. Once you settled on a spot a little far away from the watchful crowd. You twirled around settling your arms around Joel's neck. You start a small sway back and forth to the music. His eyes didn't meet yours, instead swam through the sea of faces

What were they thinking? Were they judging him? “Hey cowboy,” his eyes flutter down. “Eyes on me.” he looks away but not for long, his eyes fall back

To yours like a comforting hug. “Why are you doin’ this?” His voice is low but not mad. “Cause you're cute,” you whisper back faces inching forward.

There's a beat of science before Joel feels like a familiar feeling bubble in his lower belly. His arms slink down to your waist, his rough hands gripping slightly. His face dipped down to your neck next to your ear, his beard tickling your skin. “You wanna uh- get outta here?” he asks slowly, trying not to make his idea very public.

“Thought you'd never ask.”

You both chose an Irish goodbye as the safest option. Quietly slipping into the quiet cold night. Your dancing outfit was less than ideal for the colder weather. The freezing air nearly pierces your skin, and if god had heard you just then a blanket of warmth comes down and encapsulates you.

You turn your head to Joel who has now wrapped his very thick and warm jacket around you. “Thank you,” you said leaning closer to him as you both walked toward your road. No further words were said but your heart seemed to be beating faster than it had all day.

You rushed to your house's front porch eager to escape the cold. You opened your front door shuffling in and letting Joel in after you. He took in your space. It was cute. A few books were on your coffee table. He would need to ask about those later.

He watched you idly as you kicked your shoes off, tossing them into a shoe bin. You ran to all of the lamps in your living room, turning them all on. It gave the room a homey feel. The realization of what he was about to do started to sink in.

He wanted to fuck you.

Fuck felt like such a disrespectful term. You were a lady and he was a man. Making love? That felt too cheesy. But maybe Joel was just a cheesy guy... God, 5 years ago he would haven't even considered you romantically, let alone get nervous at the thought of having sex with you.

But here he was watching, getting increasingly nervous as you started a fire in your fireplace. He started to rub his shoulder slightly, watching as you were satisfied with the height of the fire.

You shrugged his Carhart jacket off placing it on the couch. Joel’s eyes followed you as you approached him. His heart jumped as he felt the air get warmer and it wasn't the fault of the fire. He saw you glance at his lips as you got closer and closer.

“Are you nervous?” you asked in a teasing voice noticing his quietness. He stood there without making a noise. His silence answered any questions you had. “It's ok,” you took one final step towards him. “We can go at your pace.”

Your fingers found the sides of his face. Your hands were so soft unlike his, “S’ been a minute since v’done this. S’all.” he breathed out looking down. “That's ok, we can go as slow,” your hands found him pulling them around your waist. “Or as fast as you want this to go. No pressure baby.”

He kept his hands on your waist. Big rough mounds of flesh gripping your waist. His breaths are shaky, he can feel you. He needed to feel more. Joel takes the leap of faith. He pushes his lips against yours. The rest of your body follows as you get pulled flush against him.

You're so warm. He can feel your warmth against his crotch. The flesh of your stomach warms and rubs against him from under the fabric of your clothes. Your lips are soft and you taste like the wood flavor of a good whiskey.

His mouth engulfs yours. His body needs you, craves you. Your fingers find his hair, begging to pull him close. “Joel…” you manage as you press your nose against his. “Come on baby,” he whispers back, nudging your nose slightly.

He pressed his body against yours encouraging you to start walking backward toward your couch. Your knees hit the plush on the furniture. You let yourself fall back as your chest rises and falls rapidly. He stands over you watching. His pupils are blown.

His skin feels so hot like he needs to jump out of it. On the other hand, he feels like his skin would ignite with yours to create the most beautiful fire. He can't believe he is gonna do this. You feel the same. You watch as he slowly sinks to his knees, choosing to ignore the small pop noise you hear as he settles closer to you.

His old, dark but kind eyes bored into your soul as you leaned closer to him on the couch. Your legs spread open to create room for him. Your mouth collided once more, this time with less urgency. Softly and slowly his tongue explored your mouth.

Making sure every single inch of him tasted every inch of you. Your hands found quick work of his flannel nearly ripping it off of his body. He watched in awe as your soft eyes filled with lust. You needed him. Was he going to be able to give you everything you needed?

You seemed sure he would. After making quick work of his flannel your hands started to pull his shirt up enough to expose his round soft belly. Something he is not particularly proud of. But he would be lying if he said the look in your eye didn't give him a slight ego boost

To you, he wasn't a flabby old man. He was a damn near work of art. He couldn't bell but hesitate taking his shirt off the rest of the way as he watches your eyes track his torso. The only thing snapping him out of his state was realizing you were now looking right at him.

“Huh?” he asked, staring up at you. You gave him a knowing smirk, “Do you wanna take your shirt off? Or keep it on?” you asked, biting your lip. In a preferable world, Joel could keep all of his clothes on for this. He can't… not easily that is.

So he took a deep sigh. “Whatever you want honey,” his drawl bleeds into his words and your bearing heart. “Are ya sure? Cuz’ if I have my way you ain't wearing anything.” you said, dragging your finger down his chest. He shivered slightly.

You wanted him. “S’fine by me. Want you the same way.” a flash of heat finds its way to your core. He wanted you. “Oh yeah?” you asked, shuffling back to him and pressing your lips against him, fingers dancing to rip his shirt off.

He lets you, it's hard to calm his breath enough to kiss you and not freak out. But soon enough his shirt is gone, and you guide your fingers to his having him dip under your shirt. He for a second isn't sure what to do, his brain only being able to think about how soft you are. Jesus, he is losing it. Eventually, he allows his hand to glide up your back.

Fumbling for a second with the bra strap before undoing it. It was at this moment that Joel slowly remembered who he was. He was dominant, soft, and experienced. Your eyes go slightly wide at his ability to snap your bra off.

“My my he has many tricks up his sleeve,” you say with a smile as he pulls your bra completely off your body. “This ain't my first rodeo darlin’” he comments, unable to hold back a small smile. “For your sake, I’d hope not.” you joked. He rolled his eyes. The atmosphere shifted again. You gripped the bottom of your top pulling it off yourself.

His eyes and some drops. Your perfect tits sat looking right at him. “Christ,” he murmured, moving closer to you. His mouth instinctually moved to your collarbones, his hands slipped up your stomach.

You breathed out at the feeling. He was wonderful. A breathy “Joel,” flew past your lips as his mouth went further, taking your nipple into his mouth. Slowly licking and sucking on your mound. Your fingers found his hair. The tips and nails tubing against the roots of the salt and pepper locks.

He pulled away, a single string of spit still connecting the two of you. His mouth found your other tit, replicating the same love did to the other side. The slow-burning ache started to fill your system. You pressed down onto the couch trying to find any sort of relief from the pressure.

Joel saw your struggle. His rough fingers slid down to your ass, even in jeans his touch felt so good. “Oh, we’ll get there.” he whispered, pulling away from you. “Please, Joel. I need you,” you whined.

He pulled further away and he crept to your buckle, his eyes searched yours for permission. “Go ahead,” you whispered with a nod, he turned his attention back to your pants. He fumbled a second with the button, then in the blink of an eye had the button undone and the zipper down and was pulling your pants off.

They were down at your ankles and then they got tossed aside. Joel eyed your thigh and stomach like an animal waiting to pounce. The feeling of his rough calloused hands rubbing against your soft flesh sent waves of pleasure down your heart.

A prominent wet patch formed on your panties. Joel's touch was both gentle and comforting. Your finger dove under his chin holding him to look at you. “I need you, please…” you repeated. God, you sounded so whiny.

“M’gonna m’gonna, ya gonna need to be patient f’me,” he whispered before he started kissing the flesh of your thigh. The words alone send you gushing into your panties. His scratchy beard added another sensation all welcomed.

You clench around nothing desperate for pressure. After he was satisfied with making out with your thighs making sure you were nice and wet for him, he pulled away. You watched as he moved to the top of your cunt hovering just above you. His hot breath sent shivers up your spine.

You breathed out and his mouth collided with your clothed heat. He covered you with kisses, slowly but deep, and the passion grew in your lower belly. His fingers slowly hooked into your panties. He slowly dragged them down.

His eyes nearly bulged out of his head, your entrance was glistening with slickness. All for him. Had he really done that to you? “My god baby, you trying to kill me,” he whispered. His thumb slowly spreads you open, and his finger gently brushes you.

Your legs jolted and he knew he found your clit. He watches your face as he slowly begins to rub circles. Your eyes gleam over with love. He maintains eye contact. You slowly began leaking your pussy fluttering around nothing.

Joel licked a big stripe up gathering all your juices on his tongue. You let out a soft groan. He slowly began to stick his tongue in hitting your G-spot. “Wait-” you breathed out, smoothing your hand over his hair.

He pulled away, lips glistening and pupils blown. His heart sank to his ass, what had he done? Why did he think he could do this? He wasn't any good, not anymore at least. Maybe he never was.

“Can I take off your pants? But leave your boxers still on,” you asked with a sheepish smile. He blinks for a second before standing up. The world seems to rush up with him, he can feel you tugging at his belt but he gets so dizzy all he can do is slowly rub his thumb across your cheek as he looks down at you.

He could get used to this view. He begged you'd look real pretty down there, taking him in your mouth. The thought alone makes his cock jump, or maybe it was the cold air as you pulled his pants down. His hard cock begging to be released.

You don't answer his prayers as you scoot back on the couch with a content smile. Joel discards everything still left on him minus his boxers. His knees make a familiar pop as he settles back in between your legs. His kisses return and so does his tongue as he begins to re-light the fire growing in your belly.

His hand flexes up to yours grabbing yours and putting you right on your clit. His strong arms wrap around your thighs, pinning your legs open. The cold sting of his watch sends a shiver up your spine. You rub your clit trying to keep up with his pace.

It was hard to keep in rhythm, your legs shook around his head and in his arms. You felt the coil threatening to snap and you couldn't take it anymore, you removed your hand and gripped your couch cushion. “Joel- I'm so close.”

He hummed into your sex, your back tried to arch off the couch as he kept you pinned. Your legs shook as the coil snapped. Your orgasm deafening any other stimuli. “Ohhh fuck Joel.” you whimpered into the air.

After a second his ministrations stopped, and your legs were sore but a good kind of sore. The kind where you can feel pleasure for hours. You work to catch your breath as the older man on his knees for you slowly stands up. “Jesus.” is all you can say with a smile.

“Still got it in me huh?” he said, rubbing his jaw. “Oh no Joel you had it in me,” you whispered standing up to meet him. “Oh yeah?” he asked, letting you invade his space. “Yeah,” you whispered, pulling him into a kiss, your taste still on his tongue. You let out a small noise. “Taste yourself, baby? Sweetest pussy I've ever had.” and you moaned again.

You needed his dick right now.

Your fingers fumbled for the fabric of his boxers. They were hot and so was the rest of him. Chest tinged with a slight red color. You pulled down as you kissed him, and his hard member sprung up. Joel hissed inwards at the sudden cold air.

And Jesus was perfect. He was long, or at least longer than anyone you had ever seen in real life. And big. God, you were gonna feel this man in your toes. You looked up at him with a loopy smile. “Not too bad for an old man,” you mumble, your tease must have been good because at that moment his rigid cock jumped slightly up.

That was your cue to begin. Joel shot you a warning glance with his eyes, but a smirk tugged at his lips. You slowly begin to tease him, fluttering your hands around his hips and thighs. Before you can sink to the ground his strong hand gathers to the back of your head. He guides your head back up, and you're confused.

Worry starts to flood your system. You cock your head to the side trying to figure out why he wouldn't want you to suck his dick. He was already hard, he ate you out just moments ago… none of it was adding up in your brain.

“That's not how this is gonna work,” he says as his large hands find the sides of your arms. He gently moves you to the couch. You plop down, still confused. “Work? Work how?” you ask. “You don't needa suck m’off just cause I did what I did.”

You shake your head with a smirk, “I don't need to do anything. I want to, Joel.” you mustered up your best puppy eyes. “No baby what ya’ need,” he starts walking towards you. Your knees hit the couch again as you flop down. His hand meets your knee, spreading your legs for him. “What you need is me in that pretty little cunt. She's begging for me,” he whispers in the last part.

Your mouth is slightly agape. Have you really just heard that? No way… right? Joel came down to meet you, his hands roaming your body tentatively. He lined himself up to your entrance.

“Sure you wanna do this with an old man? We can stop.” he reminds you. “No we can't,” you said

With a smile. “Yes, we can. This can end now. You don't have to do this.” and while his words were so sweet, you needed him to fuck you. “Joel, pleased I've waited so long for this,” you whispered. He nodded, positioning his hard length in you.

It felt like he was piercing you. As he pushed into you you mewled out. He instantly stopped,” You alright?” he asked his warm rough hands creating the greatest sensation in the world. “Mhm, just stings a little that's all,” you whispered nodding at him. Joel doesn't move his eyes searching for permission to keep going.

“Go ahead, m’ ok.” you encouraged. He nodded pushing in about halfway, it was his turn to make a noise. You were so tight and warm and ready for him that he nearly keeled over at the feeling. God, he wasn't gonna last long. Once he pushed all the way in he dove down to kiss you.

His hips began snapping against yours as your mouths melted together. You pulled away the feeling of his dick prodding your tummy become overpowering, to say the least. Your fingers scratched down his back leaving long traces in your wake.

He breathed heavily, his forehead planted on yours. “Mm fuck me,” he muttered gathering your hair and yanking your head down to look at where the two of you met. To see you swallowing his cock whole. “Look at you, baby. Your-” he took a deep breath in. “Fuck, you're doing so good baby,” you whined out in response.

Joel could feel his orgasm approaching. He gritted his teeth together, “Fuck! Come one baby m’ so close. Needa to come first. Make me all wet.” he cursed. You grabbed his hand and brought it to your throat. You were so close, he had fucked your brain quiet.

Any sort of thought beyond his dick, hands, or voice was a lost cause. The coil in your stomach snapped, your walls clenching around him violently. It was enough to draw out his orgasm. “Fuck.” you both whimpered as you clung to him.

#joel miller x y/n #joel tlou #joel x reader #joel the last of us #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel and ellie #tlou hbo #tlou fanfiction #tlou part 2 #tlou #ellie tlou #joel miller tlou #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #pedro x reader #gladiator 2

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padded-piss-pup · 5 months ago

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I decided I wanted to be diapered today so of course I had to ask my partner to put it on for me. After he did, he kissed me like he usually does and started talking about his day, but as he did so he put his hand on my crotch and started casually rubbing, acting like he didn't know what he was doing to me. I subtly (or not so subtly, as I would find out) started grinding my hips against his hand, trying not to let my expression betray how turned on I was. He finished talking and patted my diapered crotch, making me shiver, and told me he was going to leave me frustrated.

I drank a generous amount of water and soon enough I had to pee. Really bad. I was rocking back and forth and he noticed, asking me what was wrong. I blushed and told him I was trying not to pee. "So go pee!" His eyes flickered down to my crotch and I covered myself, feeling awfully exposed. I had to pee, but I didn't know if I could wet in front of him. He smiled and told me he would step out and use the bathroom to give me privacy and I felt so relieved. As soon as the door closed I started rocking back and forth, moaning, as I let the pee trickle out at first before becoming a steady stream. I shivered at the almost orgasmic pleasure of finally letting go, whimpering pathetically as my diaper rapidly expanded between my spread legs.

He came back and asked if I peed yet, and I was so embarrassed I covered my face before admitting it. He came over and patted my diaper, lightly groping it as he exclaimed "You did! Good job!" I was so flustered from the whole thing I couldn't stop blushing and trying to hide my face. He laughed at my embarrassment and then went back to gaming.

I drank some more water as he gamed, periodically taking hits of my dab pen until I felt warm and fuzzy. My desperation grew quickly and soon I was writhing and clenching my body, shuddering as I tried to keep the pee inside my body. After an hour of desperation I finally said "hey, I can't hold it much longer, do you want to watch?"

His eyes widened and he was instantly excited, but he was in the middle of a match. "I'll do my best to hold it until the end of the match" I said with a shaky voice. The next five minutes felt like an eternity, and my bladder spasmed when I heard the announcer say "Victory!"

He practically leapt out of his chair and rushed over to me, sitting in front of my splayed legs on the bed. I covered my face, embarrassed again, and he pointed out "This was your idea, I'm right here" and those were the words that broke my brain. Pee started gushing out of me as I whimpered, slowly uncovering my face to lean back in ecstacy. I met his eyes for a moment and saw him watching my diaper fill with a lustful look on his face. He reached out and felt my diaper as I peed, softly squishing and patting it. It was so hot feeling him grope me as I peed for what felt like an eternity. When I was finally done he patted my diaper affectionately and kissed me deeply while rubbing my crotch. I felt like I was burning with how horny I was, and I so desperately wanted him to keep rubbing but he stopped after a bit and gave me a quick kiss on my diaper. Then he went back to gaming, leaving me even more hot and bothered.

I've been lying in bed ever since and I can't stop wondering what else he'll do to tease me tonight. My diaper is getting fuller and fuller as I wait...

#august barks #padded posts

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momoswifee · 2 months ago

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Love Bites - Hirai Momo

Pairing: Vampire!Momo x Reader

Synopsis: During the rain, your car breaks down. Good thing Momo seems to find you and offers her assistance!

Warnings: violence at the end, kind of gore-y since she's a vampire but nothing too explicit, some fluff, tried to make this spooky cuz Halloween but I'm not too sure, alcoholic drinks, kind of stalker behavior, biting, and it is suggestive.

w/c: 3878

a/n: Halloween fic!! I hope you guys like it! I always appreciate the input so feel free to give some!

Mainly doing this for @cry4mina cuz of her vampire fic so yeah (I kinda wanna do a part 2 cuz I really liked this and I honestly didn't do this justice, so maybe I'll rewrite this and give more info and expand the story later ^^)

You loved the rain. The sound of it, the smell that lingered in the air, it was all very comforting to you. You even liked to go for short drives while it rained, not a lot of people were in the streets, so it was very peaceful. Tonight, you should’ve gone against all of these thoughts and just stayed home.

You had moved to a quieter town recently. Your job had been demanding, and you just needed a break from all the noise. Since it was raining, you decided to go on your little drives while it rained. It quickly proved to be a terrible idea when your car decided to stop working as you were nearing the lake, no houses, no people nearby to help.

“Come on…” You say to yourself as you try calling the local mechanic, to no avail of course, since there was almost no signal.

After about 20 minutes, you notice that the light rain had started to pick up and walking back to town was no longer an option.

To your surprise, you notice a flash of headlights coming through your car, there was someone out there.

You quickly get out of the car to signal your presence, not even caring about getting wet. Once the car stopped, you notice who it was from, and you wonder if it was smart of you to get out of the car so fast.

“Miss L/n?” Momo asks surprised, not used to seeing people that far from the town on rainy days like these.

Momo was from a family that had lived in that town for generations, but unfortunately, only she was left now. She was more of a loner, always in her own world, going to the city from time to time, but spending the majority of her time at her house by the lake. You didn’t know what she did for a living, but always just assumed that she was either very well off or had a job that she could do from home.

It’s not that you were afraid of her, of course not. She had always smiled at you ever since you had moved into town and coincidentally happen to see her in the supermarket. You were just a little put off by her presence, you don’t really know how to explain it.

Kids around town would tell stories about the Hirai family, how they never seemed to age and then suddenly disappeared. Silly ideas that they were supernatural, the most famous amongst them being that they were vampires. They could pass for it, with their perfect pale skin, almost shining when the light would hit them.

“Is everything ok?” She steps out of the car, umbrella in her hand, quickly going to your side to shield you from the water.

After hearing about what had happened she quickly offers to look at the car, with no success. It was very kind of her, bus she didn’t seem like the type who would know about cars. So instead, you let her drive you to her place, since it was already getting dark and the light rain seemed like it was turning into a storm.

☪︎ ִ ֶ֢࣪⋆

Momo was sweet, she tried to make conversation, maybe ease you into her presence. You weren’t sure of what to say, so at a certain point, she kind of just gave up and put on some music.

Once you arrived at her house, she ushered you inside, not wanting you to get wet, and as soon as you had stepped inside, she was already handing you a towel for you to dry off. You couldn’t help but almost swoon at her considerate actions.

“I know it’s a little weird to invite you to stay over like, this but it really seems like a storm is coming, I’m not sure if it would be safe for me to drive you home like this…” The older girl says as she sits next to you, putting the tea on the table.

“I really appreciate you doing that, I was contemplating walking until I saw a car or even reached home, but I’m glad you saw me before I started walking,” You interrupt her softly, not wanting her to feel any type of negative emotion after taking you in and saving you from your precarious situation. “It was really nice of you to offer me to stay here.”

You both sit in silence, watching the drops of water fall into the river situated almost right in front of her house. It was beautiful. The whole setting brought you comfort, the cracking of the wood in the (seemingly) unused fireplace, the dim warm lighting, the view to the lake surrounded by the dark green vegetation… It was nice.

As dinner approached, Momo volunteered to cook for you, you almost begged to help her, but she politely declined, saying that if you wanted you could set the table. Once she had brought out the food you saw that she didn’t have a plate, she claimed to not be hungry, that she had eaten plenty already.

During dinner, you had learned that her older sister lived in a more rural area and didn’t visit much, same as her parents. She worked a finance job that allowed her to stay at home, that being the reason she wasn’t seen getting out of the town as much. As she kept talking about herself, you felt more at ease, she was calm and that was transferred to you as well.

You told her about your previous job in the big city, how it had worn you down. You expressed your love for baking, how you were so happy to have had opened one in town. She listened attentive, promising to visit you sometime, telling you how much she loved to eat.

It was getting late. The storm had quieted down and Momo had offered her bedroom for you to sleep in. She would’ve offered the guest bedroom, but it was up for renovation, she was worried that the smell of paint would be too much. You obviously declined, saying you had taken too much, you would gladly sleep on the couch.

You were suddenly woken up by a slight bang and a little groan of annoyance. You lift up your head, vision still hazy from sleep and see Momo, towering over you, her eyes golden and with something dripping from her chin? Her features are sharper, she looks hungry.

“Momo?”

“Shh, it’s nothing, I just banged my knee when I was going to close the window, the wind got it open, you can keep sleeping…” she quickly says, looking away from you, with a tone so soft that it lured back to sleep almost instantly.

☪︎ ִ ֶ֢࣪⋆

Although Momo’s couch was big (and expensive) you woke up sore. Your body hurt in weird places, like your nape, the back of your arm, weird unsuspecting places.

“The sky has cleared up, I can give you a ride whenever you’re ready.” You almost Jump out of your skin, you didn’t even hear her coming. “I’ve already called the mechanic and told him about the car.” She continues, with a small smile on her face once she notices she had scared you.

Her face is soft, contrary to your previous encounter. Her eye were no longer that striking golden shade, but her normal sweet brown. Maybe you had dreamt it.

You started to notice that every time you were close, her touch would linger longer. She would give you a cup of tea and her fingers would brush yours, once she was out the door to take you home, her hand sneaked up to your lower back, guiding you to the car, to which she opened the door and closed it gently as if not to startle you. This kindness was not something unusual, but it seemed like it had grown from an interaction that you were not a part of.

“If you ever need something, don’t hesitate to call,” Momo says as she walks you to your door. “I really liked having you over, I hope we can get to know each other more in the future.” She offered you a shy smile, and quickly looked away, as if she was blushing, but you didn’t see a speck of the usual pink-ish hue come into her face.

After biding your goodbyes, thanking her and making her promise to visit you at work, you went inside, anxious to see what was up with your body, checking to see why it hurt so much. As soon as you were in front of the mirror, you pulled your hair up and turned your neck as far as possible, trying to see if there was anything there. The only thing you saw was a little bruise, almost the size of a little caramel, nothing to worry about. The same was on your arm, just a tiny bruise. You figured it must have been your clumsiness around the kitchen.

☪︎ ִ ֶ֢࣪⋆

Some time went by, and you started seeing Momo around a lot more. She would sometimes come around your work, playfully begging for some of your baked goods, sometimes you would just be closing up and she would magically be passing by and accompany you to your car or even home.

Every time you were together her hands you find your skin, she would trace your skin, almost tickling you from how light her touch was. Her hands were always cold, you weren’t exactly used to it, you were known to be a warm-blooded person, but you still welcomed her freezing touch every time, at a certain point longing for it.

You had gone to her place once again, since it wasn’t raining, she had shown you her majestic garden. The threes, the flowers, it was all so well taken care of. She told you she had poured a lot of time into tending to them, that they were her pride and joy. You were smitten with her. The way her face would contort when she laughed, how her eyes turned into crescent moons every time she smiled had you floored. You were grateful for your rainy-day drives, for allowing you to meet Momo.

You had started to hope it was Momo coming through the door of the bakery as soon as you heard the bell jingle. You never thought it would get like this, but who could blame you? A tall, kind, beautiful woman had taken interest in you, you were meant to start having a tiny crush, you only hoped it was reciprocated.

Besides Momo’s visits, you had started to notice that you were behaving differently. You could’ve gone on your day without noticing it, but one day, as you were washing your face, you reached for your towel to dry off, only to not find her in the usual spot. It was in another hanger, one you never used to put towels. You found it weird, maybe this crush had started making you do things without thinking. You had also lost your favourite night shirt from your university days. Maybe you had left it at home with your parents, you’d have to ask them.

The marks never appeared again, thankfully, it was definitely Momo’s couch.

One day, Momo came early to your work. She seemed nervous. She couldn’t exactly look at you. “I was wondering if you were free tonight.” She finally lets out, after a minute of slight rambling. “I want to take you out to dinner.”

You felt hot, sweating from the palms. She had asked you out. She couldn’t look at you still, preferring to look at the baked good displayed in front of her instead as she waited for your answer.

“Where are you planning on taking me?” You finally choked out, your hand going to your neck instinctively feeling hot all over. What would you wear? Where was she taking you? How should you act? Did she like roses? Would she prefer a sweet or a more flowery scent? The questions ran through your mind, you didn’t even notice the big smile that had crept up on the woman’s face.

“It’s a new restaurant, I’ve gone there, and I think you’d like it…” She says, composed again, her fingers searching for yours, playing with them, a small smile lingering on her face.

Maybe your standards were too low, but the thought of Momo thinking you’d like something and inviting you there warmed your heart. After leaving you with a giddy goodbye and a small and fast kiss on the cheek, she left you alone in the bakery. You were going out with Momo.

As soon as the clock hit 6, you were closing up and hurriedly going home to get ready. As you’re looking through your clothes, you spot your dark red satin shirt, and instantly know that you should wear that, leaving a couple buttons open.

☪︎ ִ ֶ֢࣪⋆

Momo’s eyes hadn’t left your frame since she had gone to pick you up. There was something different in the air, it seemed more charged.

Momo’s eyes seemed lighter, you noticed as soon as your eyes landed on her. Her dark brown eyes were now a lighter shade, reminding you of the weird dream you had of her with a set of golden eyes.

The restaurant was a quiet place, it was a small and cosy place on the edge of town. Momo was right, you think you fell in love with the place at first sight.

You had been right to bring the satin shirt, Momo had not been able to take her eyes away, the buttons down had exposed your skin and maybe that’s what made her not look away.

She spoke gently to you, listened to your stories, contributed to the conversation, everything was going perfectly. You noticed that, once again, she was not eating as much as you would expect, but that didn’t seem to faze you.

“You look really nice,” she says, her eyes fixed on yours. “I’m really happy you accepted to come on this date.”

“I’ve actually been thinking about asking you out too…” you say, growing shy after your confession, to which you receive a soft smile.

The dim lighting in the restaurant contributed to making your date even more perfect. The lack of the harsh lighting made Momo’s skin look almost a milky gold, it paired perfectly with her soft features.

Although the company was perfect, it kept getting interrupted by a flirty younger waiter. He seemed to be a good guy, but his insistence on hitting on you every time he would come to your table was getting annoying, especially for Momo, who seemed like she, if she was allowed to, would kill him for interrupting your first date.

After dinner, she asked if you wanted to go to her house since it was closer, or if you’d prefer if she dropped you off at your place. You almost instantly said that you wanted to go to hers. You know, since it was closer.

Her fingers drew little shapes on your tight as she drove, only stopping when she reached for your hand to kiss your knuckles. Your breathing was uneven, and you kept your eyes on her the whole ride. The night casting some shades on her face, enhancing her jawline, making her look even more ethereal.

She offers you a drink as soon as you’re home. Her eyes staring at your wine-stained lips, making her subtly wet her own. She knows that if she touches you, she wouldn’t be able to contain herself. You offer to clean the glasses, it was getting late, and you wanted to spend some quality time with her.

The hot water on your fingers was nothing compared to the flush on your face. The look the older girl was giving throughout the night almost had you in shambles. It seemed like she was doing it without even noticing as well, making you even needier for her touch, even if it was the usual brush of fingers.

“Hm tonight was fun right?” You hear as she approaches you. You look back and see she had shed from her coat, now having her arms showing off. Suddenly a cold hand slides to your hips. “Do you need any help?” It comes out in a whisper, and you can’t find it in you to answer. It all feels so intimate. You only shake your head and muster a “go settle on the couch” along with a promise of joining her soon.

Soon enough, you’re on the couch with her, a movie playing with very low volume in the background. You’re not exactly paying attention, it seems like a horror movie, you’re only focused on how close she is to you, how her hand is on your tight, and how she is also not paying attention to the movie but softly looking at your side profile.

“Do you not like the movie?” You croak out.

A “Hm, yeah,” comes lazily out of her. “You’re too distracting, though, I just can’t seem to pull my eyes away from you.”

You go to have a look at her, a joke about her being cheesy on the tip of your tongue, but as soon as you turn your head, you're faced with Momo softly looking at you. Her bangs a little messy, some strands covering her eyes. Your fingers move without you thinking, sorting the hairs out, her skin ice-cold. Your eyes locked on hers. None of you blinking.

You feel her inch closer towards you, your heart skips a bit when you feel her knee brush against yours. Her hand comes to your face, gently tucking your hair behind your ear.

“This shirt has been driving me crazy all night,” She whispers, her index finger trailing down your neck.

“Yeah?” You whisper, she’s so close you can feel her breath mixing with yours.

Your gaze flickers down to her lips, but you still catch her as she wets her lips. Your hand moves slowly to the back of her neck, and you let your fingers run through the baby hairs.

“I really want to kiss you,” She whispers, noses already touching, her hand on your thigh, softly caressing it.

Without waiting any more, she closes the small gap separating you two, her mouth softly pressed into yours, a bit shyly at first, but you quickly pull her in by her nape, making it all go away. You’ve dreamt of this. Of her lips on yours. It was much better than imagined.

“You don’t know what you do to me…” she whispers, breaking away from you. “This is embarrassing to admit, but I’ve dreamt about the moment I’d be able to kiss you.”

She knows how to make you melt, how can she say things like that and not expect you to react. So, you do. You pull her in by her neck, surprising her, kissing her more desperately. Her hands now moving to your waist, trying to pull you as close as she can. She needs to feel you.

She pulls you into her lap, and starts leaving lazy kissing along your jawline, quickly moving further down.

Suddenly she stops. “It’s like you’re torturing me.” Comes in a strangled whisper.

You don’t say anything, you just wait for her to elaborate. Instead, she looks up at you, hazy eyed, almost blind by the effect you have on her, her pupils dilated.

“This drove me crazy all night,” She says, her index finger trailing down your neck. She brushes her lips along your skin and takes in a sharp inhale. She starts peppering kisses there, her fingers pressing into the now exposed skin on your hip, making you pant softly. You feel her smirk into you.

You just want to feel her lips on yours again, you need her. Instead, you start to feel something…sharp. “I need you…” She whispers before you feel a sting on your neck.

It doesn’t bother you, you need more so you turn your head more to the side, trying to give more room for her to do as she pleases, and because of that you hear her let out a groan.

Her hand grabs your chin, pulling it down for you to meet her lips once again. You feel her tongue and a new metallic taste come into your mouth. You moan at the combinations of her lips passionately moving against yours and her freezing hand going up your back.

You groan in displeasure as soon as she breaks the kiss once again.

“Don’t be like that,” she laughs kissing your cheek. “I just wanted to know if maybe you’d want to move to a more comfortable place?” She hesitantly says, seeming shy, but before you can even finish saying yes, she’s already picking you up and leading to your bedroom.

☪︎ ִ ֶ֢࣪⋆

You’re playing with the sun ring Momo had on her nightstand. She had explained how important it was that she had it, how it helped her withstand the sun.

The whole revelation of her vampiristic side, about how she had been trying for months to get used to your smell so that she wouldn’t hurt you, had hit you like a ton of bricks. How had you missed it? Of course you were mad, you had a nasty bruise on your neck because of her bite, but that could be covered in make up for the time being.

You were still in a state of disbelief. She had said she refused to eat anyone, she survived off normal food, maybe animal blood, but that this sudden need to bite you, to drink your blood, to consume you had come out of nowhere. It did explain a lot, especially the reason why she was so cold all the time.

“You like that?” Momo asks, getting out of the shower, wet hairs sticking to her face. You hum in response, not sure of what to even say.

“I know you’re freaked out,” she says, flopping next to you, the heat radiating from her skin because of the shower feeling very odd to you. “And I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me. I hope you do, but I understand if you don’t.”

You’re still confused. She is a vampire. A whole immortal being. You had slept with an immortal being who drank blood. You would try your best to understand, nonetheless.

After reassuring her that you just needed some time to assimilate everything, you decided to take a shower yourself. As you go to pick out some clothes, you hear Momo quickly get up from behind you.

“Wait, not that drawer!”

Too late. There, neatly folded, was your university shirt. The one you had lost. There was also one of your towels, little trinkets from your place. You’re frozen in place, cold sweat starting to form at the base of your neck.

“That was not for you to see,” she sighs, closing the drawer from behind you, pressing her once again gelid front against your naked back. “Too bad.” She says, before everything goes dark.

#twice x reader #twice imagines #kpop x reader #momo x reader #momo imagines #hirai momo x reader

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4dkellysworld · 4 months ago

Text

Some suggested practices or experiments from Robert Adams

Be totally silent for a day - Do you think you can do it? Just for one day, tomorrow, be silent. Do not say a word to anybody. Try to spend that day by yourself if you can. If you have to go to work for a living, if you have to go to work, be silent in your mind. Now here's how you work this: if you have to talk to your employees or your employer, talk to them but shut it out of your mind. Do not entertain what you say. Get rid of it immediately after you ﬁnished. If you talk about a work problem, resolve the problem and then go back to silence. In other words do not carry it with you. Do not carry it with you at all.

Sit in silence as much as possible for a week - Isn't it better just to sit still at home in the silence and stop the mind from thinking? That's the easiest way, it's the best way, it's the simplest way. If you don't believe me, try it. Try it for a week and see what happens. For one week I would like you to experiment. I don't want you to read any book. Think you can do it? Don't look at any spiritual literature. Just sit by yourself as much as you can. And watch your mind, watch your mind. Do whatever you have to do to slow down your mind and then you're going to be amazed. You will laugh at yourself. For when the mind becomes quiescent, reality will rush in. And you'll see it's so simple, it’s so simple. Why didn't I know this all the time? I used to believe by reading volume after volume I'll become enlightened. But it was so easy, I just had to quiet my mind.

Identify as I-AM as you wake up - If you ask yourself when you go to sleep, you tell yourself, "Tomorrow morning as soon as I open my eyes I am going to identify with my source, I-am," and you will, even if for a second, it will change your life. First thing when you open your eyes, ask yourself. “Who am I?” Just put this question and see what will happen to you. You'll feel something different. But you'll have to do it every morning. Just try it and see what happens. You'll see Oneness. Keep asking yourself, “Who am I? Who am I?” when you ﬁrst get up. As you keep on doing this every morning, every morning, every morning, the time between your awakening and the thought coming to you will become larger that space will expand, and expand, and expand until you are able to stay in the awareness. Of course at that time there will no longer be a "you". There will only be the awareness. Try it, you have to investigate. You have to intelligently dive deep within yourself and ﬁnd the source of your I.

I-AM meditation for one day - You relax your body and you inhale and you say "I," and you exhale and you say "am, I-am". You can do this while you're waking, while you're walking, while you're washing dishes, while you're resting. What it does is it makes your mind one pointed, so it'll stop thinking. If you can practice I-am for one day, just one day, all of your troubles will be transcended. You will feel happiness you've never felt before. You will feel a peace that you never even knew existed. As you keep practicing I-am, your thoughts will become less and less. Your personal self will go into the background and you will begin to feel an inner joy, an inner bliss. You will begin to feel that it no longer matters what I am going through. It makes no difference, because it is God who is going through this, not me. And God has no problems. You automatically become happy, just by using the I-am meditation.

Love your Self every day - Begin to love your Self. I know that's really hard for some of you to do. To really love your Self, to love the Self which is really you. Try standing in front of the mirror and giving love to yourself. Some of you will not be able to do this. I'll bet there are people here who look in the mirror and they don't even want to look at themselves. They can't look at themselves for a whole minute in the mirror. Try it and you'll see what I mean. For when you look in the mirror, see God, not the physical appearance. See light shining from you, see bliss, see pure awareness, see total emptiness, see your Self. Begin to practice this exercise. Looking in the mirror, begin for maybe a minute, then you go on to two minutes, three minutes, four minutes, ﬁve minutes. Look at yourself. Admit the truth to yourself. "I am Brahman. I am the ultimate reality. I am boundless space. I am the atman, the perfect intelligence, the one without the other, all-pervading, perfect self." What if you told yourself this everyday? What do you think would happen? If you looked in the mirror and did this every day, you would turn into the God that you are. And you will ﬁnd peace, total peace, total love.

Keep your mind on God all day - You will not think about your work or the food that you're going to eat during the day or what you're going to wear. But try to keep your mind clear, free. But you will watch yourself. You will see that you get up out of bed. You put on the right clothes. You eat your breakfast like you're supposed to. You go out into the world and do whatever you're supposed to do. But you're not part of it anymore, mentally. Your mind is on God. Your mind is on the absolute reality. Your mind is on perfection. Your mind is still and quiet. Yet you will continue to do what you have to do. You will no longer have to watch the clock or watch space and time. Leave everything alone and everything will happen by itself in a beautiful way. Try it.

Surrender completely - Perfect surrender is when you give up everything, everything to God including your body. Do what you want with me. Do what you want with my body, with my mind, with my affairs, with everything. Not my will but thine. If you can surrender like this you're already free. Try it, it's hard, because you're afraid what will happen after you do that. You believe everything will be taken away from you. This is human thinking. Stop being human. Surrender yourself and become totally free.

Be with your Sage all day long - When you're home, where you're working, think of the Sage. When you think of the sage's form, the sage's name, things will begin to happen to you. Find peace. Try it. Then you will be with the Sage continuously. Whenever you think of a living Sage, the Sage becomes part of your heart, it’s the complete heart and you feel the love of the Sage within you. So if you think of the Sage, the Sage will think of you. Whatever you think about, that you become ultimately. So you have to be very careful what you think about. Whatever you think about, you become. Think of the Sage, you become the Sage.

#excerpts #robert adams #practical #exercise #surrender

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leportraitducadavre · 1 year ago

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Ino and Sakura

It's often said that Sakura cut off her ties with Ino for more reasons than just Sasuke. For some fans, she even did it because Ino was pushing her down purposefully in order to be always on top.

In that sense, and while this post has been written in another response, the other one will soon become a monster too huge to control, so I'll leave this here for better access and to better expand their relationship for those who are interested.

A warning you should know: Many images are shown while others are linked (pay attention to the underlined-bold words, they'll guide you to the image analyzed).

Despite the claims introduced before, on the panels we were shown their previous relationship during their childhood at no point did Ino seem to downgrade Sakura -either physically or mentally-, on the contrary, she's constantly shown trying to lift her spirits, like when she complements her looks:

Let the world see that pretty face!! Strike a pose!

At no point did Ino downgrade Sakura or put herself above; telling Sakura to show confidence doesn’t automatically put her in a higher position in their friendship.

To explain myself further: providing help when someone needs it isn’t the same as putting oneself in a morally or physically superior position. Their relationship is of equals regardless of Ino supplying emotional support. The fact that Sakura inwardly elevates Ino's relevance in their dynamic isn’t Ino’s responsibility as everything Sakura thinks of Ino is never expressed (translated, Ino isn't aware of her position inside their friendship, as she's never told her relevance). Furthermore, Ino never states that she considers herself attractive or prettier than Sakura herself, every time they speak on the matter Ino tells Sakura to be more confident as she has a "pretty face".

Him! Hah! He just struts around, acting like he’s so cool.

At no moment does Ino seem upset at Sakura for liking the same boy, in fact, she chooses to lie about how she feels for Sasuke in order not to start a conflict. This is, of course, not specified in canon, but since Ino doesn't display her feelings for Sasuke and, quite the contrary, she criticizes him, it's safe to assume she lied about her feelings.

And even if Ino is upset about Sakura liking the same boy as her, something that is neither expressed nor shown, she doesn’t act around it.

Furthermore, Sakura engages in conversations with Ino about Sasuke (Hey, Ino! Sasuke seems to like girls with long hair, so I’m going to grow mine…) and it doesn’t seem as if Ino dismisses the subject out of jealousy.

Everyone says you’re after Sasuke too, Ino…

I'm aware that some fans, specifically S//S and Saku-Ino fans, claim that Sakura assumed Ino liked Sasuke and Ino, in retaliation, started to like him back to make Sakura jealous (?), however, unlike those fans who think Ino's whole character revolves around Sakura (she is, indeed, a supporting character of her, but she outgrew her role to the point where she's barely seen with Sakura after the Chünin Exams) I do believe that Ino truly liked Sasuke and that she was indeed surprised by Sakura having equal feelings for him.

[I will here say that, personally, those who diminish Ino's feelings for Sasuke to use that "lesser" type of love (there's nothing like a "lesser" type of love, there're different ways to love someone. Caring for someone romantically doesn't reflect equally on each individual), as a justification why Sakura "deserved" Sasuke are carrying a sexist view inside their reading of the manga: Cartoon or not, Ino is still a representation of a woman yet, for them, she isn't as valuable as Sakura because she loved Sasuke in a different manner she did.

They're measuring Ino, Karin, and even Sakura's value by the way they display their respective feelings for a man.

In the same manner, Karin, who shows more sexual desire for Sasuke (I will not deny her romantical feelings, but she is clearly more driven by her sexual interest in him), is not less of a woman or less deserving of being with him because of the nature of her feelings.

There's no such thing as a "suffering-meter" that determines which character suffered the most out of love and, therefore, who deserves a happy ending with the object of their affection. That not only links love's nature primarily to suffering but also measures a person's romantic value in terms of how much pain they can endure (either for their significant other or provoked by their significant other).]

Again, Ino doesn’t act around her feelings for Sasuke (in the next flashback Ino -despite knowing Sasuke likes girls with long hair, keeps her own hair short) nor around her friend's attraction.

It was Sakura the one who decided to break their friendship because someone (unspecified) told her Ino liked Sasuke in the same way she did.

This is how we learn about their breakup:

Chapter 53

If it's true... that makes us rivals!

Keep in mind that, until then, we only knew Ino was Sakura’s rival, it's Shikamaru the one that introduces the idea of Sakura and Ino being best friends once, and we have these panels to understand a little bit more about their prior relationship.

This rumor is, in fact, truthful as they do become rivals -so why would Ino allow this break-up if she truly didn't like Sasuke? It makes absolutely no sense, meaning that this theory of Ino faking her attraction to Sasuke is completely false, as she canonically is infatuated with him. Furthermore, when confronted, she chooses not to lie about her romantic interest in him to Sakura. The expression of Ino when hearing Sakura’s words is “uh-oh!”, which means she was keeping her feelings secret from her friend.

In chapter 54, we have a sneak peek at Sakura’s development as a ninja: After Naruto and Sasuke fight Orochimaru (and pass out), and Lee sacrifices his well-being in order to save her from the Oto team, Sakura cuts her hair as to free herself from Kin’s hold. Up to this point, we know this part is significant because of what Sakura thinks before doing it, but by Ino’s reaction, there’s something far deeper going on (Hey, Ino! Sasuke seems to like girls with long hair, so I’m going to grow mine…).

Her attack against Zaku isn't successful and, after barely hurting him, she has no more energy to continue (so she bites him). And here's when we have Ino’s flashback:

Chapter 54 - The flashback continues but all have been addressed previously.

The rivalry was started solely by Sakura. There’s no denying that Ino took up on that rivalry and started to act consequentially, but she wasn’t the one initiating it.

"I noticed your hair is lot longer, Ino" "What is it to you, Sakura?!!"

Let's acknowledge something, in this specific panel, it was Sakura who started their interaction (in a hostile manner, also) because she wanted to tell Ino about her position in Team 7.

She assumed Ino grew her hair long because of Sasuke -it isn't clear when was their fallout, but it must have been years prior to their graduation, so either they didn't see each other as much (or at all) since they went their separate ways, or Ino grew her hair long shortly after the beginning of the show, so there were at least a few years after their breakup when she still has her hair short.

It's safe to assume Ino did, in fact, keep her hair long for Sasuke's sake, yet it's not confirmed she did so to appeal to him, as she keeps growing it after his departure and it's shown how most people of her clan have their hair in a ponytail style, including her father.

So Ino, you'll never beat me now.

Despite some translations stating that Sakura said “I won’t lose to you anymore” (we were shown at no point in the manga how Sakura exactly lost against Ino), the official translation states otherwise -Sakura never exactly “lost” against Ino, nor Ino against Sakura.

Sakura's statement is based on Sasuke being on the same team as her, therefore, for this fact alone, Ino will never "win". Their whole rivalry is based on Sasuke. Now that Sakura is assigned to the same team as him, she has a better chance of winning his romantic reciprocation, therefore, Sakura's prospects are better than her rival's, which makes her the sole winner.

Yet, regardless of their mutual hostility, Ino still jumps to save her former friend, which means that she still has a deep connection with Sakura. Her face when remembering their childhood was a deeply troubled one, perhaps even mournful. In addition, by this point, Sasuke is unconscious: He isn’t able to see Ino’s heroic act, something Ino is aware of yet acts as if that is the sole reason why she jumped in.

After the fight, we have these panels:

To put some context: Naruto asks Sakura who “these guys are” when seeing Shikamaru, Chöji, Lee, and Ino; and after Sakura “thanks them”, Ino thinks that she’s selling herself short. Ino is shown constantly either telling Sakura or thinking of her as someone pretty and capable yet still self-conscious, even tho Sakura would have likely died had Ino and Team 10 not intervened, as Sasuke awoke after their tactic failed. Ino and Team 10 were saved by Team Gai and Sasuke, not Sakura.

During their fight in the preliminary rounds (CH 71), Sakura is particularly cruel:

First of all, she claims control and power of decision-making over a boy who has rejected her advances twice and who's not even present at the moment (he could, and honestly would, easily deny them both of the romantical reciprocation they sought). She starts their fight by trying to downgrade both Ino’s self-esteem (physically) and status in their “rivalry” (which she claims is now non-existent, as Sakura is the "winner" by being in the same team as Sasuke) -Ino’s words are a response to Sakura’s attitude.

[Kakashi saying that Sakura isn’t mean doesn’t make it automatically true -first, Kakashi doesn’t know Sakura that well as to claim she wouldn’t bully a person just because (she often displayed such an attitude towards Naruto during their first interactions, particularly when she told Sasuke that Naruto was annoying because he was parentless, Kakashi saw and knew none of that). Second, what he knows about Ino and Sakura’s relationship is what he read on a piece of paper -he knows nothing about how they actually interacted, nothing about their “power imbalance”, and, furthermore, he does nothing about Sakura’s insecurities -he hoped that Sakura would come around when the Chünin Exams came, but the whole reason she did so was because of Sasuke’s support.]

Sakura internally acknowledges Ino’s relevance in her life (1 and 2) yet none of that is actually told to Ino -who’s left in the dark. The last impression she possesses of Sakura is about her not being good enough to maintain a friendship outside their respective crushes on the same boy. Sakura, even without them being friends, still seeks Ino’s acknowledgment -the only one who is then made to do something for their relationship is Ino.

Personal opinion: Sakura hasn’t surpassed Ino. Much less at this point in the manga.

It’s Sakura the one who makes their rivalry just about Sasuke (here), while Ino states that she will not allow her to “show her up” (thus, for her, it seems to be more than just their shared crush on a boy, even during Asuma's last speech he tells her not to allow Sakura to win in "ninjutsu and love"), Sakura solely focuses on being on the same team as Sasuke as a signal of superiority; something she did absolutely nothing to gain as it was mere luck:

The teams are to be balanced and that’s why they put the dead last (Naruto) with the Rookie of the Year (Sasuke), there’s no canonical mention of Sakura’s part in the matter. The belief that she was put there because she was the “brightest” is a fanon belief (x). Furthermore, according to the Report Cards in the First Fanbook, Ino was behind Sasuke; making her the second-best overall and the best kunoichi amongst them (x).

Furthermore, Kakashi specifically visits Naruto's house alongside the Hokage who introduces him to the team he'll be leading, and at no moment do they even mention Sakura.

Meanwhile Ino, canonically speaking, would never be put on the same team as Sasuke, as she's the Yamanaka heir -her destiny was always to be with Chöji and Shikamaru.

Here

I’m not your little tag-along anymore Ino

Sakura says this in order to gain an emotional reaction -Ino is shocked by the words because she's never shown to consider Sakura to be what her former friend claims she used to be. Sakura is then painting the memories of their relationship in a negative light, downgrading it. What for Ino was a real friendship, to Sakura was a relationship of power.

[This is not a negative thing per se, Sakura needed a support system that Ino provided as she was too shy to socialize with anyone. What she's saying now is that she doesn't need Ino in order to interact with others. For Sakura is a positive thing, as she probably hated being "Ino's tag along", however, that doesn't change the negative impact that it has on Ino who never saw Sakura as a burden.]

Sakura's views of their dynamic diminish its relevance in her life and put Ino in the wrong (almost making her the abusive side of the relationship). Ino never reached for Sakura in order to make her her “tag-along”, Sakura was the one who put herself in that position.

I'm not blatantly denying Sakura's views on their former friendship, but from what we can see in canon, those views are either a lie she tells Ino to emotionally drag her during their match (stated before by Kakashi, she wants Ino to take her seriously), or a twisted version of the events transpired.

Much like with Sasuke, the fact that Sakura puts the weight of her well-being on another person’s shoulders means that she’s not responsible for the outcome or what her actions might entail: That’s why she makes Ino responsible for their fallout -hadn’t Ino liked the same boy, she wouldn’t have ended their relationship.

Sakura calling Ino a witch.

At the end of their fight, is Ino who -again, reaches out to Sakura and waits for her to wake, and, again: She gives her support.

We have a new interaction between them in CH 93 -where we see both of them visiting Sasuke in the hospital and bringing him a flower, there, we get to see them talking outside a ninja setting and inside Ino's flower shop.

1) It's established Sakura doesn't visit the flower shop until then.

2) They still bicker over Sasuke, the basis of their relationship hasn't changed after the Chünin Exams, but they seem to get along better.

3) Sakura learned the flowers' meaning in order to compete with Ino.

They even sit together in CH 99 to see the one-on-one fights of the last round of the exams, and while both Ino and Sakura are equally concerned about Sasuke, it's Ino the one who tells Sakura to cheer Naruto on during his match. How is Ino this "bad person who diminished Sakura" when she shows nothing but concern for her crush (Sasuke), her former friend (Sakura), and her rival's teammate (Naruto)? Furthermore, in CH 105, Ino realizes Sakura's change in mood when she admits (internally) to being somewhat jealous of Naruto.

After Shikamaru's match, once Sasuke appears, Ino compliments Sakura's team, praising both Sasuke and Naruto; Sakura's reaction isn't shown as the main focus is Lee -who hears Ino speaking-, but it amazes me how many people try to paint Ino's character as "shallow" and a "bully" when she has done nothing but encourage and praise those around her even when they're not close enough to hear her.

Then, after Sasuke's Retrieval Arc, Ino even goes as far as to look for Sakura once Shimamaru's team returns (x), and she even prioritizes Chöji before Sasuke (who they don't know actually left, x). How is Ino such a shallow, careless monster (who doesn't truly care for Sakura) if she goes out of her way to find her and inform her of their friends' return? Wouldn't have she taken the opportunity to visit Sasuke by herself? Wouldn't she have chosen to visit her crush first rather than Chöji if she was that obsessed with him and against Sakura?

In a way, and this is not to diminish some of the writing problems the author has, Ino is a nice representation of how Kishimoto is actually capable of writing a girl with a simple crush on a boy, who still prioritizes friends and comrades above the man she likes. Sakura's behavior, therefore, can't be attributed to Kishimoto not "knowing how to write women", but to him giving Sakura specific characteristics that just happen to be disliked by the fandom. In retaliation, her stans decide to blame such personality traits on his "incapability" to write female characters before giving them the actual relevance they have over Sakura's character.

#ino yamanaka #anti inosaku #anti sakuino #not exactly anti sakura #but you know how it is #anti sakura haruno #anti sakura #anti sakura fandom #anti sakura uchiha #naruto analysis #naruto meta #anti ss #anti sss #anti sasusaku #brief mentions of:#sasuino #sasukarin

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heavens-moonlight · 1 year ago

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𝗕𝗢𝗥𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦 | 𝟬𝟭 : 𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗔𝗗𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗘

SYNOPSIS | 02 : THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

Author’s Note: The following chapter will be where the misery starts but I wanted to build character and friendship dynamics here first. Updates won't be as frequent (because of one word: life) but I have pre-written a lot for this drama already so I'll see this work to the end! Hopefully this is enjoyable so far, and feel free to let me know what you think (or what you want to see in future chapters)! Until next time! ♡

"THE INNOCENT CIVILIANS HAVE LOST, AND THE MAFIA WON!"

Your heavy palpebrae that moments earlier masked your vision in dimness, adorned with a trace of gentle sleepiness, slowly flutters open at the announcement, eyes emerging from the veil of unconsciousness. Finding yourself awakening with an overwhelming and unshakeable wave of trepidation washing over you, your chest tightens in palpable distress. The heaviness pales no less in comparison to the weight of an anvil sinking down atop your sternum, lungs punctured by bowed bones.

You sit there in a state of unease, mind racing with apprehension and discomposure, searching for answers to the troubling sensation coursing through your body. The sense of foreboding grips your heart tightly like an invisible vice, leaving you breathless and unable to shake off the unwanted feeling.

In a haste, you slide open the window beside you, the glass screeching against rubber weatherstrips expanded by scorching summer heat. Through the humidity, a light breeze brushes past, breathing air and life back into you. It's not hard to recognize the way your subconscious whispers insistently that something is amiss, the combination of uncertainty and uneasiness blending together into something you can't decipher.

Your hand comes to rest against your chest, heart pounding strongly and ceaselessly against your ribcage, almost as though wanting to escape from its confines. It sends you reeling, akin to an out of body experience. For some unexplained reason, confusion clouds your thoughts as you struggle to clear the thick shroud of fog encasing your entire being, the mist muddling and settling deep within you. A haunting sense of premonition creeps over as if some elapsed memory shares in its ominous secrets. Yet, try as you might, you could not uncover the source of this inexplicable anxiety. You're left clueless except for the empty feeling both in your mind and soul, like you have forgotten something important.

When your breathing returns to normal and your pulse has settled back into its regular rhythmic beat, you shake your head to clear it of the sudden upsetting thoughts. Only then do you realize you had fallen asleep at one point, head tilted back against the warm and worn peeling leather seats of the bus. The sound of loud conversations and even louder hum of the engine, the smell of smoke, and the bump of the vehicle's wheels on uneven pavement brings with it a gentle sway of movement that returns to you a sense of comfort you can't put into words.

Glancing down at your lap, you notice that you had left the entirety of a horror movie playing on your phone, the end credits having long since rolled endlessly, words drenched in red blinking cursorily across the screen. You rarely experienced nightmares, not even after indulging in disturbing content, and certainly not when it's broad daylight out still. So then, why now?

The sound of a book plopping down to the ground pulls you out of your reverie and you lean forward to pick it up, folding it closed to survey the front cover.

흰나비의 살인.

The White Butterfly's Murder.

You smile to yourself. It was so like Yoon-Seo to read a murder mystery on a school trip, the same exact one you had gifted to her only yesterday for her birthday. A love of thriller was what brought you both to be such good friends in the first place, and it didn't seem those like-minded interests would diverge any time soon.

"Yoon-Seo ah..." Scooting forward in your seat, you lightly tap her on the shoulder and she jolts upright, turning back to look at you, unreasonably startled, a shiver running down her spine. "What's wrong?" Your grin drops slightly at her growing restlessness, face now pale as if she had encountered an apparition. Her eyes shift back and forth, guarded for a microsecond before snapping back into her usual self.

Yoon-Seo takes noticeably deep inhales, drawing the attention of Jung-Won, her seat mate for the ride, who pauses mid-coding to look over, displeased.

"What did you dream of?"

"I'd rather not say."

"Han Seol-Hwa. Lee Yoon-Seo.” Jung-Won clicks her tongue teasingly, pointing a finger from you to Yoon-Seo. “I'm making it a rule that you guys stay away from blood, murders, and deaths this trip, alright?"

You roll your eyes good-naturedly. "Alright, I promise you eomma. No more nagging Yoon-Seo and I."

Jung-Won scowls at you playfully, pushing her glasses up higher on the bridge of her nose and you stick out your tongue in her direction impishly. Yoon-Seo laughs quietly at the exchange as you hand her back her book.

"Thanks, Seol-Hwa."

"Tell me all about it later when we've arrived." Despite muttering it under your breath to avoid being heard by Jung-Won, you fail miserably.

"Seriously?!"

You and Yoon-Seo laugh together as Jung-Won goes on a tangent about how psychologically, scary things are not good for young, impressionable minds, fingers click-clacking away all the while. Fortunately preoccupied, she doesn't notice Yoon-Seo sending you a wink, a hidden promise between you two to indulge in the realm of the supernatural regardless.

A resounding and victorious scream travels all the way from the back of the bus and you turn around to observe the friend group seated there.

"See?! I told you all Yool was the Mafia! Let's play again," Eun-Ha says, arms crossed. "You idiots never listen to me, do you?" She slaps both Yeon-Woo and Eun-Chan on the back of their heads as petty punishment.

"What can I say? You simply can't kill the master." Yool leans back, legs thrown atop the headrest of the seat in front, a proud smile stretched across his face.

As they're about to commence another game, Jin-Ha gets relayed a message through Seung-Bin. "Tell them that Kyung-Jun is sleeping and to shut the hell up."

"YAH!" The random shout is so out of place and entirely uncalled for, but it's effective for the time being. "Kyung-Jun is sleeping," Jin-Ha parrots, obedient. "You guys are always so fucking loud that we can hear you before we can see you!" Met with blank stares all around, he's finally satisfied at the reduction in volume and goes back to looking at something Seung-Bin points out to him on his phone. Unbeknownst to him, the rest switch to eyeing him in disfavor behind his back.

It wasn't hard to see the hierarchy of the bullies' group, although Jin-Ha most likely doesn't notice anything wrong with the skewed power dynamics.

Kyung-Jun unpredictably opens his eyes, turning to glare at Heo Yool specifically, but when he swivels back around again, your eyes meet coincidentally and he simply stares, an unreadable expression on his face. You avert your gaze hastily, not wanting to stir up trouble with the bullies, especially not Kyung-Jun who was quick to anger if someone so much as breathed wrongly in his direction.

Your eyes search the rest of the bus lazily before landing on Jun-Hee, sleeping peacefully unaware, head tilted towards the window. The sunlight bathes him in a soft yellow glow and you can't help but stare as a single ray of light filters through the curtains, slanting lightly across his face. You etch every slope, every contour, and every dip of his countenance behind your eyes so that the image of him doesn't fade.

The comfortable rise and fall of Jun-Hee's chest, synchronized with his steady breathing is so serene that it captivates your heart. In high noon, the gentle curves of his face seem even more soft, accentuated by the calmness enveloping his features. Fondly, you observe him in the morning's bright golden haze, and in the beauty of the falling sunbeams, you wonder if he'd ever see you in the same way.

A rolled-up piece of paper hits you square in the face and you finally drag your gaze away long enough to see who it is. Whipping your head around, you're met with snickers from Hyun-Ho and Dong-Hyun, who don't even try to hide they're the culprits.

You're being obvious. Hyun-Ho mouths the words discernibly. Just sit next to him if you're going to gawk.

You chuck the paper ball back toward him and it smacks him in the mouth, your nose scrunching up in focus mixed with annoyance.

"I think that's the most creative way I've ever seen someone being told to shut up," Dong-Hyun voices approvingly, shooting you two thumbs up.

"Are you my friend or hers?" Hyun-Ho asks childishly, somewhat snubbed.

"To be honest, she can be more frightening than you at times even though she's half your size."

You giggle to yourself as the two start squabbling in their seats across the aisle from Jung-Won and Yoon-Seo.

For the most part, after having transferred to Yooil High, you were fairly well-liked by everyone for your just and nonjudgmental attitude. That, and you pretty much kept to yourself, stayed out of trouble, and knew not to dig your nose in other's business if it didn't concern you. You weren't popular by any means, but not a single person had a true reason to dislike you and you hoped to continue that track record.

By a stroke of bad luck, your parents died a few years ago in a car accident, and you've been living with your cousin Hyun-Ho ever since, adopted by your aunt and uncle-in-law. They have been nothing short of welcoming and loving, and the same goes for Hyun-Ho, who acts no less like your real brother. Sure, he's annoying at times but it's just his overprotective nature and ease of accepting the older sibling role. You got on quite quickly with Yoon-Seo and Jung-Won, and Hyun-Ho made sure you adapted to his own friend group, introducing you to his best friends Jun-Hee and Dong-Hyun. You loved your companions dearly, all incredibly close and inseparable ever since you could remember.

But you couldn't remember when you began to see Jun-Hee as more than that.

Friends.

It's not the first, and it certainly won't be the last time you remind yourself of that fact.

Just friends. Nothing more and nothing less.

Except, you're not the only who was harboring feelings for him. Where you were quiet and discreet about it, So-Mi is loud and unabashed. It's hard to ignore and pretend you don't hear her snapping pictures of Jun-Hee shamelessly and without permission, the shutter ticking in quick succession.

"Isn't this crazy? It's like a photoshoot, right? How does he look like that? Even while sleeping?" So-Mi rattles off questions in awe, more to herself than anyone else.

Woo Ram doesn't miss a beat in his reply. "I'll tell Jun-Hee about your crazy obsession with him."

"Could you, please?" So-Mi widens her eyes, batting her lashes imploringly. "I'll use that as an opportunity to tempt him."

You hear Ji-Soo's laugh ring out brash and clear. "This delusional girl, seriously..." she chides. "You've been saying that since last year. When will you actually find the courage to tell him?"

That's the question you ask yourself also. You don't blame So-Mi. Sometimes, you think it might be better to not have been best friends with him. It only complicates your feelings further, too afraid to ruin years of friendship, but also too filled with wishful thinking on the mere possibility of it growing into anything beyond that.

Sighing, you turn to look out the window, trying your best to tune out their conversation even though it doesn't work. There's not much to hold your attention when the scenery is endless stretches of barren trees and even emptier infrastructure, or lack thereof, rolling by.

The setting sun dyes everything in a blaze of orange, making it appear as if the city was burning, the sky collapsing.

"Seduce him now," Yu-Jun taunts, voice giving way to his utter lack of confidence in So-Mi's coquetting abilities, knowing full well the impossibility that the two would ever end up together.

"Cut it out! It will happen soon...just not here." So-Mi tries to shush her friends as they holler at Jun-Hee teasingly, with all intent to wake him up.

Woo-Ram and Yu-Jun successfully manage to rouse him if the sound of So-Mi's indignant squeals is anything to go by, coupled with the unmistakable clicking of her phone's camera shutter, pressed by accident this time around.

Somewhere in between listening and musing, you had begun to doze off again when you feel the seat shift and sink beside yours. The movement is so light and careful that you don't pay it any notice at first.

"Hey, I thought when you flirt with someone, they're supposed to come to you and not away from you." Ji-Soo's snickers mix in with So-Mi's annoyed remarks aren't as jarring as you thought it'd be after everyone was subjected to the silent rule earlier.

You feel your head droop forward before someone touches the side of your face gently, fingers grazing the curve of your cheek to angle your head into the broad line of their shoulder.

The pads of their fingers trace the underside of your jaw in a featherlight motion, and you lift your face in alarm, curious as to who would do such a thing especially if they weren't necessarily close to you

Eyes trailing upward, your vision refocuses and they widen at the sight of Jun-Hee staring down at you, gaze soft and unwavering as he stares, transfixed, pupils shining. One hand is hanging in midair, held steady to shield your face from the sun.

You open your mouth to say something, anything, but no words come out, a frozen expression of surprise on your visage.

Jun-Hee's lips tilt slightly upward, the motion bunching his cheeks up, almost as if he was trying hard to suppress his laugh.

Pulling yourself together, you sit up properly and lean away from his shoulder. "Sorry."

You don't notice Jun-Hee's smile dropping imperceptibly and the light in his eyes dimming as you're no longer within close proximity. "Why are you apologizing?"

"It's nothing." The response is too dismissive even to your own ears as you can't conjure up an excuse for the sudden pretense, or for your outlandish behavior.

It would be quite a long bus ride, sitting next to each other, both not knowing what to say.

The space between Jun-Hee's eyebrows crease together in confusion, but he doesn't push the matter further.

You clear your throat awkwardly, shifting in your seat to sit on your hands. When did simply talking to him become so hard to do? You've hidden your feelings for years without problem, so why was it so different now? Those feelings changed and grew. "When did you come to sit here? Weren't you just sleeping earlier?"

Jun-Hee knocks his shoulder into yours, a teasing lilt to his voice. "You were watching me?"

"Pft, as if," You deny with lackluster confidence, scoffing. "I was just observing what everyone was doing."

"Right..." He elongates the word. "...And what I was doing was sleeping. That you watched." Jun-Hee looks at you again, a deadpan but knowing look on his face. Flustered, you duck your head only for him to mirror the movement, subtly leaning his own toward yours and trying to catch your eye. It ends up with him chortling as your forehead nearly collides with your knees in the slouched over position you had subjected yourself to.

Knowing full well you were being made fun of without a hint of malice, you twist your body sideways and lean your back against the window, turning to him with a glare. "Is this fun to you?"

As he laughs, you find yourself wanting to follow suit, but stick to the bit of maintaining your mock angry façade, slapping him on the arm. If anything, he continues to chuckle, barely flinching, finding your reaction rather amusing.

"Don't worry. I promise I didn't sneak any pictures." It quickly registers to you that he was clearly teasing So-Mi for earlier. You can't help the scandalized look on your face, cheeks puffing out as you try to hold in your laugh. "I guess you did notice a camera being pressed up to your face, huh?"

"Kind of hard not to with all the noise." He shakes his head in annoyance. "But I am still sleepy." Jun-Hee pulls your arm so that you're pressed against his side again, no semblance of space remaining between the two of you as he lowers himself, sinking further down into the seat, eyes shut and head now leaning against your shoulder.

"Jun-Hee..."

"Let me borrow your shoulder for a little while."

You're about to pull away, thinking he's playing around when his grip tightens on your arm.

"Think of it as returning the favor from earlier. We can call it even."

Making a vague sound of neutrality but not moving, you relax, and Jun-Hee lessens his hold, adjusting his position to be more comfortable. "Are you going to watch this time too?" His hand squeezes your forearm once.

"Dream on," you kid.

"Maybe I will," he answers with certainty. "Until it becomes reality."

"I didn't know you were this affectionate with everyone."

"Not just anyone. Only you," Jun-Hee mumbles, tilting his head further into the crook of your neck. His lips move dangerously close to the juncture of your shoulder, your pulse point centimeters away as he shifts around, finding the most relaxing spot to rest.

"Don't say things you don't mean." You can't bite your tongue fast enough as the words tumble out unprompted. That was supposed to be an inside thought no one else should be privy to but yourself.

"Who says I don't mean it?" You tense up beside him, at a loss for words, but Jun-Hee doesn't point it out, more than not nice enough to ignore it for your sake. "I'm self-proclaimed as your favorite." He bumps his knee against yours. "I know you better than anyone else."

"Do you, though?"

"...Of course, I do."

But you don't know that I'm already halfway in love with you.

"On what basis, mister?"

"Best friend privileges."

"Right..."

You stare down at the top of his head, Jun-Hee unaware of your blatant staring and the way your smile fades at the same time one appears on his face.

"That's acceptable, no?"

"Of course, it is. Best friends. That's what we are..." You trail off.

And I guess that's all we'll ever be.

Hours later, the sky has since darkened and you can see the visible outline of the full moon on high, light not concealed by the stars weakly glimmering to illuminate the night.

Most, if not the entirety, of the students on the bus were asleep, except for you and your two lovable, but mischievous best friends sitting in front of you.

Yoon-Seo and Jung-Won peer over the back of their seats like cute meerkats, only their eyes visible, phones raised suspiciously in your direction.

"You're welcome in advance," Yoon-Seo says cheekily, showing the widest grin you've ever seen on her, eyes crinkling as Jung-Won stifles her laugh behind her hand. At your persistent eye signals, they sink back down into their seats, satisfied after overfilling their camera rolls.

As the bus slows down, indicating that your class was nearing your destination, the road gradually begins to get rougher and bumpier. It's a surprise Jun-Hee still hasn't woken up yet, sleeping soundly away still leaning on you.

Deciding to mess around with him, you slightly pivot your body so it's facing him, leaving enough room for his head to not fall off your shoulder.

"Jun-Hee," you call, tilting your head down in front of his.

"Jun-Hee ah." The bus is rocking him, lolling his head forward along with the movement, his face nearly downturned.

"Wake up, sleepyhead." Your shoulder is no longer acting as support when you turn your face directly below his and peer up, tilting your head like he had done to you miles back, smiling at his obliviousness to the harmless prank, peacefully undisturbed in his slumber.

"Kim Jun—" The bus lurches abruptly, running over a speed bump the driver misses, and your words die in your throat as it jostles Jun-Hee's body forward and consequently his head toward your own, his lips meeting yours. The next slope in the road, and the fleeting press of the accidental kiss fades away, but the butterflies in your stomach refuse to settle.

You're motionless, eyes wide, hands immediately coming up to touch your lips where they're still tingling from the lingering imprint of Jun-Hee's lips against your own, barely registering just how close his face is to yours still, remaining asleep all the same.

"Kids, we're here!"

Your teacher's announcement snaps you out of your thoughts and you hurriedly sit back as Jun-Hee's eyelids sluggishly part, the first thing they focus on is you. He grins drowsily, and you wonder what can truly fix the irreparable damage to your heart.

Get a grip, Han Seol-Hwa.

Forcing a smile that you hope isn't as awkward as it feels onto your face, you decidedly withhold the truth about the incident.

"That was the best sleep I've had in a while," Jun-Hee tells you, leaning closer to be heard over the ruckus of everyone moving around in their seats, wanting to alight the bus the moment it stops.

You scoot back reflexively with your face aflame, still not over what had happened.

Jun-Hee also pulls away, worry mixed with bewilderment evident on his face. "Are you alright?"

"What do you mean?" You cringe internally at how guilty the tone of your voice comes out.

"It's just..." Jun-Hee regards you for a moment, studying your face as you avoid his searching eyes. "You've been acting a little weird since this morning."

"I'm tired is all," you lie through your teeth.

"If I—"

Suddenly So-Mi appears next to the two of you in the aisle, eyeing you up and down judgingly. "Jun-Hee, the teacher said he wants to talk to us."

As Jun-Hee gets up but doesn't reply, you swiftly scoot out of your own seat and attempt to scurry away to where Yoon-Seo and Jung-Won are waiting for you by the wheel, wanting to avoid the dreaded conversation you knew was sure to follow.

So-Mi dismisses your presence completely, standing into the empty space between the rows in an effort to block Jun-Hee off.

His eyes count your steps and before you can move even a feet away, he grabs ahold of you, fingers wrapping securely but tenderly around your wrist. Your pulse quickens beneath your skin, and you wonder if he can feel how rapidly it bounds under his touch.

"Seol-Hwa—"

Jun-Hee appears a bit dejected for some reason you'd rather not dwell upon. You gaze down at his grasp on you before turning to face him.

"Didn't you hear me?" So-Mi interjects, trying to make him focus on her by stepping into his line of vision, but his eyes remain fixed only on you. "Seonsaengnim needs both of us for something."

Your fingers graze Jun-Hee's as you slowly remove his hand, much to his reluctance. To the bitter distaste of So-Mi, he doesn't seem like he'll go along with her any time soon. She directs her glare at you once more, and you sigh quietly, not wanting to be in the middle of this interaction one bit.

"I'll see you later Jun-Hee."

"Wait—" He tries to grab your hand again, but So-Mi is quick to turn his shoulder away, making up filler dialogue.

Given the slip unintentionally, you speed walk toward your friends, and the three of you descend the steps. You feel Jun-Hee's stare burn through the back of your head yet refuse to turn around.

Maybe if you leave everything that happened on the bus and the thoughts along with it, you'll go back to being yourself soon enough.

The teacher is pacing the edge of the curb looking perturbed, voice frustrated as he speaks into the phone, the person on the other end not comprehending a single word.

Before you can tune into what he's saying, Yoon-Seo taps you on the forearm, whispering, "Have we been here? Why do I feel like I have? It's so familiar..."

"All the youth centers look the same," Jung-Won settles, rummaging through her backpack. "Yoon-Seo, Seol-Hwa, I'm heading in first. See you inside."

You wave to her as Yoon-Seo stands beside you, unmoving and gazing up at the third-floor window of the building.

"Yoon-Seo...?" You move your hand back and forth in front of her face, and she finally blinks, her gaze returning to normal.

"What is it?" she responds absentmindedly.

"That's what I should be asking you." You halt at the blank expression on her face staring back at you.

"I thought I saw something..." She points at the window but when you look, squinting against the dark to focus your eyes, all you can see is the white curtains billowing back and forth from the window barely cracked open.

"It's only the wind. Your mind is probably playing tricks on you." Yoon-Seo seems assured by your answer for the time being, nodding. You rap on her head lightly with a loose fist, mock admonishing. "Aigoo, Miss Detective. The books are taking over your imagination."

Yoon-Seo laughs and shoves you playfully. "Don't act like you don't also live and breathe all things horror."

"But I'm not the one seeing things, am I?" Raising your eyebrows at her teasingly, Yoon-Seo simply rolls her eyes and links her arm with yours.

"Come on, let's go. It's cold out here, and I want to see the rest of this place."

The two of you enter the lobby, and the first thing you take note of is the pure white marble statue of a girl, sitting atop a pillar and staring down into nothingness, eyes soulless and devoid of emotion. It’s melancholic in a way, a personified goddess, yet alone and ostensibly powerless.

"Yoon-Seo, don't you think those eyes remind you of anyone?" You fix your gaze on the figurine closely, examining the features etched haphazardly into the rock. Whatever intention the sculptor had, you couldn't find the purpose for the seemingly out of place decor.

Yoon-Seo nudges you. "Now who's the one with the wild imagination?"

"I'm being serious here."

"I don't see any resemblance to anyone we could possibly know. There's no informative plaque on who it may be either."

You shrug. "Maybe it's just me then."

"Aren't you two going to scan?" Jung-Won ushers you and Yoon-Seo toward the flyer:

[ sᴄᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ǫʀ ᴄᴏᴅᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪ-ғɪ ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴsᴛᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴏᴜᴛʜ ᴄᴇɴᴛᴇʀ ᴀᴘᴘ ᴀᴜᴛᴏᴍᴀᴛɪᴄᴀʟʟʏ ]

"This place has an app? What for?" you question.

"Hmm, I'll just stick to this paper booklet they have instead." Yoon-Seo decides quickly, rifling through the readily available printed maps.

"You'll have to lead me around," you say in all earnestness. "I'm very direction disoriented."

Jung-Won doesn't even try to hide her smile. "We can tell."

"It's not my fault I was born like this." You dramatically fall back onto Yoon-Seo. "Would you two really lead me astray as my best friends?"

Yoon-Seo giggles behind you. "No way. We saw how dazed you were getting off the bus earlier. You need all the help you can get."

Jung-Won snickers, shaking her head while dragging you and Yoon-Seo through the double doors of the gymnasium where the rest were gathered.

Everyone is off scattered into their own respective friend groups, your trio throwing your backpacks haphazardly on the floor before sitting against the wall of bleachers yet to be pulled out.

Jun-Hee and So-Mi enter shortly after with the teacher, engaged in a discussion. You look away before they can notice, and focus on the girls attempting to practice for their performance instead, Woo-Ram filming their efforts. Joo-Young pushes Mi-Na out of her spotlight and steals it openly, not that Woo-Ram minded. If anything, he holds the camera ever-sturdier, a newfound excitement apparent this time around as he zooms into her face. His happiness is short-lived however, as Kyung-Joon turns off the speakers nonchalantly, forcing the girls to start over from the beginning, much to their irritation.

Despite what you decided on earlier, you can't help but throw glances over in Jun-Hee's direction. He's seated at the table reserved for school council members by the entryway, overlooking everyone as So-Mi talks his ear off, undeterred by his indifference.

"Stop staring. You're going to wear away his pretty face," Yoon-Seo jokes from your left.

"I wasn't staring," you reply back half-committally, knowing she's caught you in the act.

"You totally were," Jung-Won joins in, slowly leaning her head on your right shoulder. "Let me borrow your shoulder while I code."

"If she's allowed, I should be too," Yoon-Seo copies, mirroring Jung-Won from your left side.

"Careful, that one's Jun-Hee's. You'll have to wait your turn, Yoon-Seo."

"Oh my god," you groan, embarrassed, hiding your face into your hands as the two laugh beside you, kicking your feet from both sides with theirs. "You two are merciless."

"Are you going to deprive me of the best sleep I'll ever have?" Yoon-Seo snuggles closer, hugging you tightly to her.

"Yah! Lee Yoon-Seo!"

You had the intention of taking Jun-Hee off your mind by hanging out with your friends, only for you to see bits of his personality in Yoon-Seo, their long-time friendship having had them taking on one another's mannerisms.

"I'm using my best friend privileges." Jung-Won pats you on the knee. "Stay still."

As Yoon-Seo and Jung-Won squish into you from both sides, you can't help but giggle at the sheer absurdity of the reenactment and their dedication to coming up with jokes on the fly. You try to fight back the onslaught of laughter, but it's entirely pointless in their presence. Traitorously, your eyes crinkle in mirth, half-crescents resting atop your cheeks as your laugh tinkles in the shared space, making the other two giggle along, shaking with glee where they're pressed against you.

Jung-Won eventually caves and sits up properly when all the hooting you and Yoon-Seo are doing keeps rattling her laptop, messing up her coding. A permanent smile sits on her face though, watching you two bicker.

"Jung-Won, help, I need my inhaler. I can't breathe from laughing so much," Yoon-Seo gasps out, holding her stomach.

"I'm not getting it for you."

"I can't believe you would tease me at the expense of your asthma." You push Yeon-Seo away, sniggering as she goes back to clinging onto your arm and laying her head back on your shoulder.

Jung-Won turns to look at you and Yoon-Seo briefly, her eyes shifting to the side momentarily, a ghost of a smile settling on her lips before she resumes attention to her laptop. "Don't look but Jun-Hee is watching."

Right as she says that, you make to move your head, but Yoon-Seo expects it and holds your chin in place with her hand, pinching your cheeks playfully.

"I said don't look!" Jung-Won chuckles.

It throws Yoon-Seo into another fit of giggles as you try to speak through your puckered lips. She releases her hand quickly after, and you drop your head to lean on the crown of hers, giving up.

You elbow Jung-Won in her side. "Were you messing with me?"

"Why would I?" she says innocently, typing away.

You look at her pointedly. "Yeah, you totally wouldn't."

Jung-Won holds her hands up in a motion of surrender. "I'm not this time, really. Seeing So-Mi angry is my favorite past-time."

"So mean," Yoon-Seo sing-songs.

"And you had no part in this?" You poke Yoon-Seo in the cheek. "Who told you to have an annoyingly cute and kind best friend?"

"You mean you?"

"You know what I mean."

"It's true."

"Guess I'll have a crush on you instead."

Yoon-Seo chortles with laughter. "So, you do admit you like him!"

"I didn't say that!"

"I read between the lines."

“It was one line!”

"This really sucks," Jung-Won says off-handedly, scrolling through the app. "I can make something like this in a day."

"Huh?" Yoon-Seo inquires, lost.

"You really didn't scan the QR code earlier? It was installed automatically. Give me your phone. I'll do it for you."

"No, it's okay. I'll get by. It's a short trip."

"I wouldn't put it past Yoon Seo to carry around the paper map for two whole days," you jest.

"Careful, you can't even navigate well, Seol-Hwa."

Jung-Won snorts at Yoon-Seo's jab.

"You got me there. If you tell me to walk back the way we came from I'd probably end up walking in the opposite direction."

Yoon-Seo shakes her head in fond disbelief.

"I'm not getting any signals in here." Jung-Won holds her phone up high, arm stretching.

While you watch as Jung-Won moves her device around to figure out the cause of the lost signal and no connection to Wi-Fi, Yool rushes past, making a mad run for the storage room. Adjacent to the bleachers where you and your friends were sitting, he flings the door open with purpose and digs through the contents of the room. Various apparatus gets upended from their designated places, the speed and sheer amount of hiking gear, equipment for ball sports, as well as other items meant for the gymnasium flying out from the doorway is nothing short of the effects in a comedic cartoon. Knowing how much of a jokester Yool was, you pay it no mind and turn back to the task at hand.

You pull out your own phone to try and locate even one bar of cell phone service, only to be met with the message that the vicinity was an unserviceable area. "That's weird. We're not in a remote place or anything like that. What happens if the power goes out, then?"

Right as you say that, static from the speakers produces head-splitting screeches, causing everyone to recoil with palms over their ears in annoyance, the lights flashing once before cutting out.

With everyone fearing the worst, a few remain unmoving while screams of the rest bounce off the walls, echoing in the spacious room. You and Yoon-Seo however, have no reaction, more curious than anything else.

"Why did you turn the lights off?" Someone you can't put a name to probes in the dark. "Turn them back on!"

Following in haste after one another, the students make good use of their phone flashlights, aiming it at the court's center, revealing a figure cloaked in white standing as clear as day amidst the obscurity of the room.

While the majority cower in fear, clutching onto their friends, Hyun-Ho imperturbably throws a basketball at the unknown prowler, knocking them over in one go.

"Ouch!"

The white sheet is flung off theatrically, and out crawls a disheveled but cackling Yool.

"Aish, seriously," Hyun-Ho admonishes. "Quit goofing around."

Kicking the blanket to the side away from his feet, Yool raises his hands up in the air dramatically, acting to the end. Not a single person has managed to find the overhead lights in the meantime, the only ones illuminating the outline of his thin frame were the stage bulbs operating on a different circuit.

"While I have your attention, you guys have to listen up," he begins conspiratorially. "I heard a harrowing tale that's been passed down to everyone who steps foot into this building." Yool looks from one classmate to the next, more serious than he's ever been. "They say a female high school student took her own life here." He continues on as gasps and murmurs spring up around you. "There are things you absolutely can't do." He waggles his pointer finger dramatically for emphasis. "Don't look back after glancing in the mirror past midnight, and ignore it even if someone were to grab your ankle while you are asleep. If you don't follow these rules..." Yool pauses for staged effect before walking in broken steps like he’s possessed, arms and legs bent in odd angles, rushing straight toward the dancers still seated on the floor.

"...YOU'LL SEE A GHOST!"

Shrieks pierce the room as someone manages to flip the lights on again with perfect timing, ending Yool's one-man show.

Jung-Won clucks her tongue while you and Yoon-Seo look at one another. You were expecting her to be as nonchalant as you were, all her readings considered, but she's staring straight ahead, spooked.

"Earth to Yoon-Seo?" You touch her hand and she flinches, causing you to jump as well from her unexpected reaction.

"Huh?" She whips her head toward you, still zoned out. "Sorry." A forced smile settles on her face, an infrequent sight to her usual bright demeanor. "Don't worry, it just felt like deja vu for a minute."

"You said something similar earlier. Are you sure you're doing okay?" Your voiced is laced with worry.

"See, this is why I told you two to tone it down with the heebie-jeebies. You're only scaring yourselves." Jung-Won pats your head and then Yoon-Seo's in turn. "We should go to our rooms anyway. They all have too much energy they can't wait to waste away," Jung-Won states, gesturing to everyone milling about.

"Let's go?" You pull Yoon-Seo up, and she nods in return, reassuring you that she was finally present and not off and away in her thoughts.

As the three of you leave, your ears perk up at the last thing you hear Yool say.

"Did you guys really believe it?" His sentence is cut by a boisterous laugh, pleased to no end at the affirmative from his friends. "Eyy, come on now, it was just an innocent and fake joke. None of us are going to die. Not tonight and not for a long time to come."

SYNOPSIS | 02 : THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

© 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐇𝐚𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞. 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨, 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞, 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫-𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭. 𝐀𝐥𝐬𝐨, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐞, 𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞.

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greenfiend · 3 months ago

Note

rach your byler unpopular opinion post is so fascinating. big brain moves. plz keep sharing more unpopular opinions or expanding on them cuz i'm eating it up! 💛💚🩵🧡💜😆💅🏽🫂

Lex! Thank you!

Honestly, I can go on for days expanding on the importance of Will's sexual identity/self-esteem/trauma etc to the entire narrative of the show.

Opening doors is a common motif throughout the show, and it all leads back to Will.

The door/the gate represents: his openness to the world/his sexuality... and uhhh... his "backdoor". (<- click the link for info on that... TW for mentions of sex and CSA)

The importance here is that Will needs to open his door on his own terms. Obviously just like a queer person needs to chose when they come out of the closet. For Will so far, unfortunately, it has been opened several times without his consent.

Lets break it all down:

Season 1: The gate is open and Will is trapped in the UD (deep in the closet symbolically). The gate being open = Will is exposed. Compromised. We know this because everyone in town seems to be aware that he's gay.

Season 2: The gate is open once again, correlated with the bullying Will receives from his classmates. They remind him once again that his identity is compromised. Mike also reminds him too, but in a good way. The gate is closed at the end of the season and we see Will dancing with a girl.

Season 3: Okay. THIS SEASON!! Bare with me on this one okay? It gets a bit insane... "The Russians" are trying to open a gate in Hawkins. Now. I believe the Russians represent Mike. The Russians are saying they need "more time", and right after that we see a photo of Mike with this line from a song playing "just a little more time will open closing doors". Now. Mike is NOT being malicious here okay? His presence in Will's life just keeps reminding Will of his own sexuality. He is "The Key" to Will's door, thus is leading to his "door"/"the gate" opening. Will is NOT READY, so the gate only partially opens... then it is FORCED SHUT BY WILL'S OWN MOTHER TO PROTECT HIM! But uhh yeah. The whole Russian operation this season is inspired by the movie Inside Out!!! I could go on but I'll stop for now...

Season 4: So, Will is separated physically from Mike but is not able to separate himself from his sexuality (and his love for Mike). He's coming to terms with it, slowly. More gates are opening up... After Will decides to "rip off the bandaid" and admit his feelings under a disguise... the gates/doors open up even more. The "bandaid" was covering his sexuality (on a meta level to the audience) but now he's really really exposed. POSSIBLY even exposed to Mike now too.

Season 5: Will will be more explicitly gay this coming season, with his "door" fully exposed and open. My theory though is that the gates/door will be FULLY CLOSED OFF at some point. This will be really bad because Max will be trapped on the other side and others possibly as well. The "door" will need to open. Will will need to find a way to accept himself then allow Mike to open that door as "The Key". When I say that Mike will help open the door, I mean that literally (a portal door), figuratively (the closet door), and uhh this way too.

I have an idea of how this will all play out using quite a bit of evidence from the show. LONG post on that coming soon!

On Mike: No, Mike is not just simply Will's love interest. He is struggling as well, but not in the same way. I do think that he will accept himself first though, and "give [Will] the courage to fight on."

#byler #will byers #stranger things #stranger things theory #ask #asks #foodiewithdahoodie #love will open that door 🔑🚪❤️⚡️🍑🍆#doorgate #wtf is this name literally it’s gategate 😭#gategate

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pixiefelixie · 11 months ago

Text

remake?

pairing — idol!seungmin x f!reader

word count — 2.7k

warnings — she/her reader, so fluffy

summary — on a chilly winter morning, seungmin was scrolling on his phone when he was met with a picture of you two from last winter. longing filled his heart as he revisited that memory.

On a winter morning blanketed by flurries that had begun overnight, Seungmin planned to rest in the warmth of his home, away from the duties of work. His members did as well, finding themselves relaxing after all their effort. Meanwhile, Minho was whipping up waffles with his brand new waffle machine, while Jeongin and Felix lingered in their beds, engrossed in their phones instead of actually getting up.

Having enjoyed a refreshing morning shower, Seungmin settled onto the living room couch. He was casually flipping through his photo gallery, deleting a cluster of useless memes and screenshots, in order to tidy up some space that his phone desperately needed. His browsing suddenly came to a pause when he stumbled upon a picture from last winter.

He clicked on it to expand it, when he realised it showed a moment shared between him and you next to Han River. The snow was falling from the sky and it was fairly bright, similarly to the weather today. Your hands were gently resting on his shoulders as his encircled your waist like you two were about to start a ballroom dance.

As Seungmin looked at the picture, memories of that day flooded back. He remembered walking with you in Riverside Park, the snow crunching beneath his feet. The park looked magical with snow on the trees and the frozen river glistening. He could feel the warmth of your hand in his, hear your laughter as snow frosted your eyelashes.

"No, Seungmin, don't let go of my hand!" You cried out as you were slipping and sliding on the icy path.

"What if I do?" he teased, trying to steady himself as well.

"I'll be doomed! I'll die!" you exclaimed, fear evident in your voice.

"You won't die, Y/n. But if I trip, we'll both go down if you keep on holding me like this" he chuckled.

"But if it's me that trips, you'll catch me, right?" you asked hopefully.

With a playful grin, Seungmin replied, "No promises," his tone light but reassuring. "We'll be off the ice soon. Just try not to slip until then."

With a shaky nod, trying to trust in his words, you felt a sudden slip under your feet. With a yelp, you stumbled forward, but Seungmin swiftly linked his arm with yours, keeping you steady. Relief washed over you as you looked up at him, processing how quickly he had reacted to prevent you from falling.

His face was just only an inch from yours, and you couldn't help but smile at the realization that he had caught you, even though he had been joking about it moments before. Seungmin's eyes met yours, concern evident in his gaze as he asked, "Are you okay?"

You nodded, unable to find the words to express your thoughts in that moment. Seungmin stood up straight, now holding onto your waist for support as you both carefully made your way off the last few steps of the icy path and onto the grippy, firm snow.

With a grateful smile, you looked up at Seungmin, realizing just how lucky you were to have him by your side. And in that moment, surrounded by the winter beauty of the park, you couldn't help but feel a warmth in your heart that was a stark contrast to the weather.

As Seungmin pointed towards the frozen river, he said, "Look at the river, baby."

You followed his gaze and remarked, "It's all frozen."

Seungmin pondered aloud, "I wonder if we could walk` on it."

You shook your head, a hint of worry in your voice. "We could fall through," you cautioned.

Seungmin reassured you with a playful smile, "I'm only joking." Relieved, you let out a sigh.

You both walked with linked arms over to a gazebo nearby in which the roof was covered in snow. However, people were still sitting by it on the cold benches. Finding a spot beside it, you settled onto a bench together. It was a good bench with a good view, offering a clear view of the icy river.

With your hands in your pockets to shield them from the cold, Seungmin gently took them out. As he noticed how red they were, he breathed warm air onto them, causing you to smile at his sweet gesture. The warmth of his breath and his touch made the chilly winter day feel a lot warmer.

You then playfully declared, "Your turn!" Taking his hands in yours, you brought them close and breathed warm air onto them, just as he had done for you. Seungmin giggled as you then started to pepper light kisses on his hands. As you intertwined your fingers with his, a gentle smile graced your lips, and you leaned into him.

Seungmin followed suit, resting his head against yours. Together, you watched as children laughed and played in the snow, their joy infectious even from a distance. The scene was serene, with people strolling by, bundled up against the winter chill.

"I love you, Y/n," he murmured, his breath warm against your ear.

A warm feeling blossomed in your chest as you turned to him, meeting his gaze with love. "I love you too, Seungmin," you replied.

As you nestled closer together, the gentle snowfall creating a calming backdrop, a comfortable silence enveloped you. But soon, Seungmin broke the silence with a question. "What's your favorite winter memory?" he asked, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.

You pondered for a moment before a fond smile tugged at your lips. "I think it would be from when I was a child," you began, your voice laced with nostalgia. "My family used to take me to go ice skating on the frozen pond near our house. It was always such a magical experience, gliding across the ice under the twinkling stars. On a warmer day, I fell through the ice since it wasn't thick enough. I never went back after that."

"I'm sorry for joking about it, baby," he said softly, his voice laced with sincerity. "I didn't know."

You reached out to reassure him, offering a small smile. "It's okay, Seungmin," you replied, giving his hand a comforting squeeze. "Let's make new winter memories together," you said with a smile. "Starting with today."

Seungmin returned your smile. "I'd like that," he replied.

Your boyfriend then leaned in to kiss you, and you met him halfway, the warmth of his lips against yours sending a thrill through your body. You felt his grip on your hand tighten as you both leaned into each other, drawing closer until you were chest to chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat echoing your own.

Pulling away slightly, you smiled up at him, your eyes sparkling with love. But before you could say anything, Seungmin leaned in again, his lips meeting yours in a light, tender kiss.

As Seungmin savored the sweetness of the moment, he felt so free to be out on a date without any of his staff. It was one of the best things about winter—the flurries swirling around, everyone bundled up against the cold, creating a sense of privacy since no one bothered to look his way.

During other seasons, everything seemed to be out in the open, and everyone could recognize him as an idol. But in winter, it felt like no one was watching, and you two could just be a normal couple, free to be yourselves without any pressure or scrutiny.

Suddenly, Seungmin got an idea. "I wanna take a photo together," he exclaimed, his eyes bright with excitement.

"Sure!" you replied eagerly, matching his enthusiasm.

You both got up, and you ran ahead, feeling the snowflakes melt on your hand as Seungmin set up his phone on a ledge of the gazebo. He flipped the phone so the back camera was facing you, and then clicked on the timer.

As you stood waiting, watching the snowflakes dance around you, Seungmin dashed towards you, grabbing you by the waist. You smiled and placed your hands on his shoulders, leaning in to kiss him tenderly.

But just as the photo was about to be taken, the phone slipped from the ledge and fell into the snow. You both pulled away, a sense of disappointment washing over you.

"Oh no," you murmured, seeing the phone had landed with the camera facing downwards, capturing only the snowy ground.

Seungmin sighed as he retrieved the phone, noticing snow had seeped into the speaker. But he quickly shrugged it off, determined to try again.

"It'll work this time," he reassured you with a grin.

You nodded, feeling hopeful as Seungmin set up the phone once more, this time with extra care. As he ran over to you, you both kept a careful eye on the phone, ensuring it didn't slip again. As he kissed you, you tried to recreate the pose from before, counting down from ten in your heads.

When you thought the picture had been taken, Seungmin ran over with a giddy smile, ready to check the result. Anticipation filled the air as he glanced at his phone, then his smile quickly faded into a frown.

"What happened?" you asked, concern coloring your tone.

"I think I forgot to change it to the back camera," Seungmin admitted, disappointment evident in his voice.

Stepping closer, you looked at the photo on his phone, seeing it captured the inside of the gazebo instead of the direction of the Han River.

Looking back at Seungmin, you could see the disappointment in his eyes. He sighed again, but then mustered a small smile. "Well, third time's the charm, right?" he said, trying to remain optimistic.

"Right," you agreed, nodding in agreement. But then an idea struck you. "Wait, Seungmin," you said, stopping him before he went to set up the phone again.

"Yeah?" he responded, turning to face you.

"Wanna ask someone to take it for us?" you suggested. "It's less of a hassle, and it'll turn out better."

Seungmin hesitated. "But won't people see me?" he asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"Well, it's not like everyone here could recognize you at first glance, right?" you pointed out, sticking close to him.

"Yeah, you're right," Seungmin agreed, feeling reassured.

"Let's see," you said, scanning the area. "What about that boy over there?" You pointed at a wealthy-looking teenager wearing headphones and a North Face puffer, chewing bubblegum while scrolling on his phone with a swagger to his walk.

Seungmin hesitated. "I don't know, he's a teenager, so he might know me. Plus, he looks like he's bad at taking photos."

"Okay, then," you conceded.

"What about the elderly lady there?" Seungmin pointed at a little old woman walking along the sidewalk with a cane and a scarf covering her whole face.

"I don't know," You replied. "I don't think we should bother her."

"True," He agreed, looking around for another option. Finally, you spotted your target—a dad walking hand in hand with a small girl who looked around 7 or 8 years old.

"What about him?" you suggested, tugging Seungmin towards the dad. "He's a dad, and dads don't know you."

"Are you sure?" Seungmin asked uncertainly.

"Yeah," you confirmed, taking Seungmin's phone and approaching the man with a smile. As you walked up to them, you noticed the dad smiling and laughing with his little girl. When they both looked your way, you greeted them politely.

"Hi, sir! Do you mind taking a photo of my boyfriend and me? We're having a bit of trouble," you explained, Seungmin standing behind you, following your lead.

The dad's face lit up with a smile. "Of course," he replied warmly, his little girl waving at you both. You waved back, and as Seungmin joined you, the girl's excitement seemed to double.

"Appa, he's one of the guys that my big sister on TV!" she exclaimed enthusiastically.

The dad looked at Seungmin in surprise. "You know me?" Seungmin asked, touched by the girl's recognition.

She nodded vigorously, her enthusiasm infectious. Seungmin couldn't help but be charmed by her. Normally, he would've been panicked that someone recognized him. However, in this situation, he couldn't help but feel as if his heart was warming up.

Curious, the dad asked, "What do you do?"

"I work in music," Seungmin replied modestly.

The dad's eyes widened in surprise. "Wow, that's impressive! Even both my daughters know you," he remarked, impressed.

Seungmin thanked him sincerely, and you chuckled at the interaction between them.

As you handed Seungmin the phone, you both positioned yourselves by the Han River, with the dad following suit and the little girl holding onto her dad's pants, watching with eager anticipation. You leaned in close to Seungmin, whispering, "Kissing in front of the child?"

Seungmin lightly shook his head, a silent agreement passing between you. You nodded and positioned yourselves, your noses barely touching, sharing a tender moment as the dad readied the camera.

"Ready?" he asked, and you both nodded eagerly.

But as the dad counted down, a tickling sensation tingle at your noses, and you couldn't help but giggle. As the laughter bubbling up inside both of you, the dad snapped the photo.

"Okay, done!" he announced.

As you both rushed over to see the result, you gasped in amazement when you saw the photo. Excitedly, you showed it to Seungmin, who mirrored your gasp of delight.

"Thank you so much, it turned out so well," Seungmin expressed his gratitude to the dad.

"No problem, it was nice meeting you," he replied warmly. "Say bye," he instructed the little girl, who waved before they walked away.

Seungmin looked at you, noticing how you were staring at the phone in awe. "Lemme see it again," he requested, and as you handed him the phone, he smiled, "It's beautiful."

Seungmin held the phone, admiring the photo once more. In the image, your hands rested on his shoulders while his encircled your waist. Your noses were pressed together, laughter evident in your expressions. Flurries danced in the air, the Han River visible in the background, along with footsteps in the snow. It was a perfect snapshot of your love and joy in that moment.

"It's perfect," Seungmin said, smiling at you. "This moment, right here, it's everything."

You smiled back, feeling a rush of love for him. This photo would be a cherished memory for both of you.

Back in the present, Seungmin set his phone aside, the memories of that day still lingering in his mind. With a contented sigh, he leaned back on the couch, feeling grateful for the warmth of his home and the peacefulness of the moment.

Leaning against the glass, Seungmin sighed softly as he watched the snowflakes drift gracefully to the ground, each one uniquely intricate in its design. It was the kind of picturesque scene that made him wish he could capture another moment with you, just like the one from the previous winter day.

Lost in thought, he wondered what you might be doing at that very moment. Perhaps you were curled up with the book he had gifted you for your birthday, lost in its pages and escaping into another world. Or maybe you were nestled in your bed, the one he always found more comfortable than his own, enjoying a well-deserved rest. Then again, there was also the possibility that you were at your favorite café, diligently studying and savoring a warm beverage.

With a wistful smile, Seungmin imagined you in each scenario, his heart warmed by the mere thought of you. Despite the physical distance between you two, he found solace in knowing that, wherever you were, you were carrying a piece of him with you.

Feeling the weight of his longing, Seungmin couldn't resist the urge to reach out to you. With a soft smile playing on his lips, he unlocked his phone, finding the photo he had been obsessing over. As he sent it to you, a surge of anticipation bubbled within him, his heart racing at the mere thought of recreating that special moment together.

With fingers trembling ever so slightly, he typed out the simple yet loaded question: "Remake?" He hit send and then tossed his phone to the other side of the couch, like a teenage girl nervously sending her first text to her crush.

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copperbadge · 1 year ago

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