#i'll just learn languages now
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It's really too bad that I can't just know every alphabet. I don't have to know the languages that use it, I just want to understand the sounds. But instead I only know the Roman alphabet and tiny bits of Greek and Cyrillic. And that's not that many.
#this post brought to you by me struggling with Cyrillic#and that one anxiety I'm constantly fighting about feeling like I should be sorry that I was raised mono-linguistically#like I couldn't help that#I'm changing it now#but geez. feeling bad over that fact won't change it so why should I be ashamed of it?#i'll just learn languages now#and maybe I won't be as good at them as I might have been if I was raised speaking them#but you can bet i'm gonna try#miscellaneous#chatters from the nightsky
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I understand that literature nerd Jason Todd is kind of overblown in fanon compared to it's actual presence in canon (a few issues during his pre (and post?)crisis Robin tenure that highlight it) BUT consider that I think it's hilarious if the unhinged gun toting criminal has strong opinions on poetry
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#Jason Todd#batfamily#it's just a fun quirk! it's a fun lil detail and I simply cannot slight ppl for enjoying and incorporating it into works#like obviously jason isn't the only one. I'm a big believer in the batfam having over lapping interests they refuse to bond over#i know dick canonically used the robin hood stories (which are pretty flowery in their language far as i can tell) as inspo for Robin#and i know babs was a librarian and even tho her area of nerddom is characterized as more computery she probably knows quite a lot-#-about literature as well#duke is a hobbyist writer i believe? i saw a fan mention that- which if so is great and I hope he's also a nerd#(i mean he is canonically. i remember him being a puzzle nerd in his introduction. but i mean specifically a lit nerd)#damian called Shakespeare boring but also took acting classes so i think he's more of a theatre kid.#Tim's a dropout and i don't think he's ever shown distinct interest in english lit and i can't remember for Steph?#I'm ngl my brain hyperfocused on musician Steph i forget some of her other interests I'm sorry (minus softball and gymnastics!)#and then Cass had her whole (non linear but it's whatevs) arc about literacy and learning to read#went from struggling to read in batgirl 00 to memorizing Shakespeare in 'tec and is now an avid read in batgirls!#she's shown reading edgar allen poe but we don't know if it's his short stories or his poems#point to all of the above being: i know Jason's not the only lit nerd in the batfam#but also i do need him to be writing poetry in his spare time and reading and reviewing it#jason at the next dead robins society meeting: evening folks today I'll be assigning all of us poems based on laika the space dog#damian and steph who have been kidnapped and brought to jasons warehouse to hangout: LET US GO BITCH#speaking of^ random poem i think jason would like: space dog by alan shapiro#wake up one morning in an unfamiliar more mature body with a profound sense of abandonment. the last four lines. mmm tasty
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a little bit obsessed with this guy
#og post#my art#WxS#wonderlands x showtime#project sekai#pjsk#rui kamishiro#tsukasa tenma#ruikasa#i will not tag emu or nene because they are kind of in the background. even though i tried very hard on them#<- first time drawing any of these guys#i'll be honest i haven't even done much of the stories at all just WxS's main story and One Event Story (the first rui one i think)#had to learn what the fuck is goin on with tsukasa's goddamn jacket. what the fuck is on the sides. i lied i didn't learn#i just drew it#i drew rui's outfit and went aw fuck now i have to draw tsukasa's#the ruikasa isn't important like yeah sure its ruikasa but what's important is rui's strange love language#that one 4koma about rui's flowchart leading 2 an explosion stunt? courting ritual /hell
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I'm on a trip right now but next week when I get home I'm gonna draw Xiao Pingguo and Lan Wunian
Would you do it. Would you do it for them
#ask#equineswap au#xiao pingguo#lan wunian#Anon sent this a week ago (whoops (welcome home (I'm putting absolutely no pressure on you I just want to be silly)))#They both had to learn this technique from fairy btw#the act of using the soggy eyes is not a natural inclination for their personalities#I like to imagine she's just out of frame directing them. 'Get soggier' she says 'Like you will die unless you get some peanutbutter'#Fairy the dog is probably not much of a beggar. Jin Ling doesn't want her belly to hurt.#Jiang Cheng only spoils dogs with cuddles#So lets go with 'Fairy the human's love language is probably touch and words of affirmation'#of course I'm thinking about love languages for these AU characters right now. I will ruminate on the other two girls' today.#this has nothing at all to do with Anon saying they want to draw the beloveds. my god I'll die for you if you do but no pressure
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*skitters up to you on all fours with a bunch of drawings in my mouth* *drops them at your feet* *skitters away*
enjoy some schizophrenia / psychosis / mental health-based humor.
#had an exchange with someone very important to me that helped me work up the moxie necessary to get over my anxiety and post some of these#(you know who you are and i know you're reading this. ilusm and thank you for being in my life)#I'll schedule this post for later in the day. 100% I'm going to forget about doing that and be confused when I start getting notes for it#anyhoo#I wonder if I can rescue the mental health + journal comics I posted to Instagram and repost them here...#I mention my mental health journey fairly often on here but I feel I should clarify:#IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT SCHIZOPHRENIA / PSYCHOSIS / WHATEVER--- GO FOR IT! ASK ME THEM!#I won't be offended by genuine questions even if they're phrased a bit awkwardly or use language that might be less than perfect!#If you want to learn about stuff I will gladly describe my experience to the best of my ability! I don't mind whatsoever :>#not sure if that needed to be said or not but I figured I should say it just in case since I'm making a big ol' post that cracks jokes#I'm significantly removed from actively hallucinating and have made leaps and bounds in my emotional health so I'm in a great place now#mental health#mental health comic#mental illness#mental health humor#psychosis#schizophrenia#psychosis memes#schizophrenia art#humor#diary comic#diary comics#journal comic#journal comics#stuff by sofie
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trying to rebuild the reshade preset after the gshade catastrophe
i miss her
#sorry for not answering asks and the like. i'm lacking energy rn#hopefully i'll be more active soon. i haven't checked the dash in days#sadly i dont think i'll have the time to explore the new pack right away#and i know my 4000 file unsorted mods folder is going to be absolutely desecrated#i got all my exam results back. i only failed one out of nine 😎#but now i've got an oral exam in 3 weeks to prepare for#i have to have a conversation with an examiner in irish for 15 minutes#sounds easy because i've been learning the language for 12 years#but i can barely introduce myself#just trying not to stress about it at this point i guess#anyways its paddys day in one week 🥳#i wanted to make an edit for it but i have no ideas and i hate last years one#enough rambling#bye for now
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Revised language learning plan for the rest of the year
#langblr#It's just a draft#I think I'll stick with Croatian for my EU language for now?#But I might do some taster sessions in some other languages to see how I vibe#Croatian just makes sense because of its mutual intelligibility with other slavic languages that might join the EU soon#But Greek and Hungarian are more urgently needed#There's also the option to learn Albanian or Georgian in the hope they make progress in the EU application#Turkish is pretty much frozen in negotiations but hnnnnng cool language
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maybe the blorbo state of mind will finally make me learn finnish
#käärijä#suomi#i've been doing flashcards from time to time for a long time now but i never learned any grammar#and just thinking the language is beautiful wasn't enough to motivate me to stick to it#but the intense obsession with käärijä means 1) a lot of content 2) i WANTT to understand#now that i think about it i learned a lot of english thanks to my obsession with linkin park in my teens#thank gods käärijä doesn't speak english LOLL#so anyway wish me luck i'm excited!!#maybe i'll visit finland again!#ok back to listening to fantastista
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my newest essay on bnha quirk hypotheticals: why I think shinsou hitoshi could mind control someone with sign language (and more generally, any other second language) AS LONG AS he and the person he's talking to are both fluent in it
#bolo liveblogs#I'll save y'all the spiel for now but the cliffnotes version is that#(A) shinsou's quirk is communucation based (B) there's no reason why that communication has to be verbal BUT (C) both he and his target#have to properly receive it so if he's like just learned the language and is half-assing it it doesn't work
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i am both technically writing and technically not writing at the same time, which is interesting
#i am writing out what is said in akielon since the story right now is in laurent's pov and he doesn't speak it#so when damen speaks it laurent doesn't know whats being said#but i want to know what's being said#so i have to write it anyway#but it's off to the side and not actually part of the story#so im am both writing the story and not writing it#i will probably write it some more in a moment#i just wanted to tackle the mentions of spoken akielon first#there will be more#but laurent will also learn akielon at some point#this is mostly just for the first act#....... realistically how much would he be able to understand after studying the language for a year?#i'll have to look into that for act 2#shh ac#wip: laurent stabs damen
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I may not go there (jse fandom) anymore but I still follow some blogs (too lazy to unfollow, interesting other stuff) so from time to time I see art and the like of it and I'm just like "yea, that was a nice time c:" Fleshing out every ego and giving each of them their own character with different traits was a lot of fun.
But well, we all move on. I'm not that much into YouTube in general anymore, but more into games and Nintendo now. And I'm happy with that.
#dragon's stupid thoughts#dunno just wanted to share a thought here#I'll never return but seeing art feels like nostalgia sometimes#earned a lot of experiences during that phase#and hey. made me appreciate and learn the english language more!#might not even be here (on this website) now!
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It's really a strange thing, but I've grown to associate DnD so strongly with English that I can't picture it playing in my own language
#(i haven't played it yet btw but i want to)#not just because I've learned all the mechanics in English (and the translated playbook is pricey)#but also bc there's a level of distancing when you speak another language that makes roleplay come easier#i'm a character of myself speaking English. add here another layer of an actual fantasy character on top#i think i would shut down with embarrassment if i had to do it in my mother tongue#but there's now a whole different pickle to tackle bc i could play in English through video call but then comes the different obstacle#of me feeling soooo awkward in video calls and being scared I'll fumble in my English and be cringe in the roleplay#i'm truly my worst enemy#bilingual#dnd#rambles#not a rant but vent
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*through gritted teeth* haha no don't cancel the one available session of that class I really need you're so sexy
#quil's unholy underworld#are you KIDDING ME#they only offer that class like ONCE A YEAR and only ONE CLASS#i NEED it#this is my last semester are you FUCKING KIDDING ME#SIR WHY#WHY DID YOU CANCEL IT#I DON'T HAVE ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT TO BE AVAILABLE NEXT YEAR I'LL BE GRADUATED#grngrhrgh#now i have to FIGURE THINGS OUT AGAIN#GOD (in vain)#i had everything PERFECTLY LINED UP#you MOTHERFUCKERS#i am. pissed#god forbid a woman try to learn sign language#it's the LAST CLASS i need to complete my asl degree#i am fuming#i cannot adequately express my frustration here#because i don't think!! i have any options!! except to just NOT finish that degree#when i'm ONE CLASS AWAY#and was REGISTERED FOR IT#I HAD IT ALL WORKED OUT#who do I need to email to fix this i'm so fucking serious#i will email people over this#GOD i'm SO MAD#tw caps in tags#tw vent
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taking a creative writing intro course this fall and i’m so, so excited!!!!
#.txt#it definitely wasn't in the books but the other two courses i had slotted aren't going to work until the spring so i chose it as a filler#and then got really attached to it#first had to submit to the humiliating ordeal of confirming it was a personal interest course to my advisor but she was chill with it haha#(bc she was pushing for me to take another course that's only offered in the fall but i said maybe next year because i'm already taking two#other language courses) (it's too complicated for the tags)#i'm just genuinely so so excited#hoping it will consistently inspire me to write + i'll feel a little more learned#since i loved creative writing in high school but the first year of college was just crazy insane busy (which is kind of the vibe for my#future endeavors as well because almost full time work full time school ahahah)#of course scared that i'll have hardcore imposter syndrome and everyone else will be better writers and talented and passionate#which i want! but it also makes me feel a sort of weird vibe idk i know i'm good at writing. but the technical aspect is tricky#plus there's also weird feelings about childhood dreams -#as in i always wanted to be a writer but i learned to bite down on that dream because obviously it wasn't going to work out#so sometimes i feel like i failed myself by giving up on my dream even though i didn't really?#because studying something else was the practical choice for ensuring i have more prospects for career etc#plus i do like what i'm studying now#but writing was just what i always wanted you know#so i guess i can reclaim it a little now#school starts in two days though. haha *dies*
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i find myself to be incredibly satisfied when i get compliments about my korean
#it just genuinely fascinates me how i'm perceived by others about it#i cannot remember if i ever said it before but it makes me especially happy because this is a language i chose to learn for myself#i was not told by my parents or whatever figure around like i was all my life#i picked it up for myself for my own pleasure of learning and not because of actual studies#i still get frustrated that i wish i was better everyday but a friend asked me to lend her my old notebooks and i was going through them#and i realized a few things - just how much work i put into learning it over the past five years and how much i've improved#past me was at a certain level and now i'm much better so it helps to look back at how you were doing#it puts into perspective how beautiful and slow the process is#and just today i made friends with two exchange students here and they said that by the way i talked through text they thought i was korean#one of them said 'she speaks better than me LOL' and i just laughed#i doubt i would be better than native speakers but the reactions i get anytime i used a specific word are so cute#'how do you know this word???????' dnjsdhfjdf i just learned it#i think studying languages has really made it able for me to store these things because idk how else to explain it#i hear a word and i'll just remember it forever#which is also funny since i reckon my memory is bad to begin with
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so uh
may have just found out that I'm like constantly dissociated on some level.
like. now I have to wonder - what if the plurality is / has been a form/method of masking? what if I'm the mask, and the little is the core? what if I'm actually lower functioning than I thought, and this masking is why I'm so tired all of the time?
am I just a child masquerading as an adult? but isn't that what we all are, in a way?
do I need to let go of this struggle to be higher functioning and embrace where I truly fall on the spectrum? does the difference in functioning between myself (Byrd) and the little (Mateo*) just represent the natural fluctuation in my functioning abilities?
I know I should learn sign language, but... is it also because I should have AAC available for when I can't speak? Am I about to lose the ability to speak a whole lot more often? am I just being overdramatic? Do I just need to Chill?
#byrd chirps#did#pdid#p-did#autism#autistic#dissociation#*used to be miranda but that egg cracked#system#system posting#dissociative identity disorder#god im gonna have to learn like 3 other languages at this point#native language being english and then i'll have to learn asl#then whatever country i move to i'll have to learn their sign language and native language too#right now it's looking like the other two will be spanish and lsm#just gotta get a smartphone for an aac app and to learn asl/lsm#okay scratch that i ordered a tablet fuck this shit i want aac just in case#and i can use it to get/use language apps so like. why the fuck not#hopefully my parents don't think im being dramatic for ordering this shit#even though i genuinely lose speech sometimes!#and it's fucking hard to talk sometimes!#ah well guess i'll find out soon enough#and in this moment i want to thank my mood stabilizer
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