#i'll burn that bridge when I get there

[bg3screenshotdump]

she doesn't even have a name yet but i'm adding her to my future daughter list ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[screamingcrows]

Had to write 'a murder of crows' in a fic and it took me two solid minutes of just staring at it before sighing in exasperation because of this blog

[ladypriere]

anyone know a good program to download youtube videos with? one that's not complicated or taken over by malware? one i'm using is refusing to download one video in particular

[n1et]

Overstimulation is comming in strong, I took my ear muffs tho, so it should be fine, but I will have to pause listening to maanam for a while.

I got some fries at beef burger bar, one of the only places around here still open after midnight, all their burgers are good but it's expensive as all hell, definitely tourist priced. I was under the impression all their fries also came with beef, but apparently I was mistaken, they were still good tho, can't go wrong with thick cheesy fries with a side of fried onion.

Aprox 37 hours in.

I decided to live blog my sleep deprivation

31 hours in, I feel tiered and light headed, but no other symptoms have shown up yet. I feel like I may have bypassed the obvious part of the insomniac high by virtue of not alinging it with the sunrise. Tho looking back it's there, just not very prnouced.

Will check back in some hours, or when I start getting auditory, visual, or other kinds of hallucinations.

I have, surprisingly, not felt the chill yet, maybe in the past it was a result of long term sleep depravation due to bad sleeping habbits/offset schedule?

[drawfee-quot3s]

that's no skin off my teeth

- julia

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Vriska: Well, well, well, if it isn't the 8ridge I'd said I'd cross when I get to it

[turtlespancake]

me when i write a character who is prone to dooming themself and then they run off and doom themself. core traits are stubbornness and a willingness to disregard their own humanity gET BACK HERE IM NOT DONE WITH YOU

[moe-broey]

Idk I also just hate the future actually. My ass is Always living in the past or simply day to day 💪💪💪

[mayoiayasep]

no better time to get myself used to other people's disappointment than now! if it sucks hit the bricks!!

[dandyshucks]

in an attempt to try to socialize a bit w ppl who might be friend-material, im going to go to the trans group in town tonight even though every time I've gone in the past they've misgendered me ;-; wish me luck !!! i am so scared DBJDKDL

[myopicry]

(love that this blog is essentially me rambling and complaining in a very first world problem way but hey, isn't that what tumblr is for?)

self-flagellating self awareness aside, I do think it's very funny that when I realized I did not want to have sex with men and was not actually very attracted to men at all, I immediately attached myself to asexuality as a label since based on my experiences (which had been exclusively with men) I felt so sexually and romantically dissatisfied and ended up pretty sex-averse because of it, and I just felt so awkward and unnatural with the whole process of dating that I decided I was definitely aromantic and asexual because I probably felt that way towards everyone! yeah that makes total sense!

because there was no way I'd ever want to date a woman, that'd be way too subversive and totally didn't match my personality at all, and since I'm uncomfortable with porn and the way sex is portrayed in most media, I probably wouldn't want to actually sleep with a woman (even if I have fantasized about it and would be happy to participate if the opportunity naturally arose in some way...) and man, wouldn't a future with a woman be so unattainable even if I wanted it, since I won't come out to my parents about anything because that notion terrified me? and hmm, I am obsessed with male attention, which probably has nothing to do with internalized misogyny and my lack of social development as a child. also, I'm definitely not a girl so I can't even be gay like that, and I'm not really interested in sex with trans women** so that's probably not very lesbian of me-

sooooo turns out repression and internalized homophobia goes a long fucking way lmao

living in a male-centered world truly messes with your brain like nothing else.* I was somehow convinced that just because I wasn't attracted to men, it meant I would never feel love ever in my life because what else is there? actually being able to truly put men out of my mind and life recently has made some things a lot easier. I used to not be able to picture a future version of myself and the life I could lead, which I once thought was wholly due to a "gender thing", but now, being able to conceptualize a life full of love and romance exclusively with women suddenly clears a lot of the mental fog up, and I find myself being able to actually want something in the future. I want to find love with a woman, I want a girlfriend, I want a wife. I want to build a life with her.

I still have a lot of growing to do as a person, obviously. turns out building a self-esteem actually takes... effort! crazy, I know. but now I can move forward with an assured mindset where I don't have to pretend like the concept of love is stupid just because I don't understand it (yeah. I did think that for a bit... along with wanting a qpr... which. well. I have a lot of thoughts about internet asexual culture that are far too jumbled at this point to be any kind of meaningful blog post so maybe some other time lol) because I finally have some kind of life full of love to look forward to.

*I'm sure the internet didn't help much with this either. my generation does love simplifying every lived experience down to aesthetics since social media has made us so damn obsessed with personal branding and the like, and the wlw/soft sapphic culture and aesthetic I saw a lot of in these internet spaces really didn't work for me as I'm not really into such feminine rituals or makeup and dress-up aesthetics. kinda bleak that for a generation and culture that promotes diversity, we love boiling things down to easy stereotypes and consumerist tropes instead of embracing real lived experiences... **aside from the obvious, in reflection I think my lack of attraction here also majorly falls on the fact that a lot of trans women adopt a hyper feminine image to pass and as described above I think my type and interests just naturally leans away from makeup products and "dolling yourself up" so it wouldn't really work out based on what patterns I notice in the presentation of trans women

[yishuns]

sometimes, kaito thought, he really hated magic. of course, it was fine when he did it, because he was a genius and knew was he was doing most of the time, not to mention that his kind of magic was backed by scientific theory, but when it came to actual, inexplicable, dimension bending magic, kaito would rather it stayed far, far away from him, thank you very much. of course, it wouldn’t be kaito’s life if everything went as smoothly as all that. cue kuroba kaito, phantom thief: meet kuroba kaito, ghost detective.

“it’s not what you think it is!” kaito the thief— and oh, this was going to get confusing quick, he could already tell— raises his hands in surrender, smoke bomb carefully wedged behind his fingers and kept out of sight as a contingency. “i’m not— well, i am kid, but i swear i’m not trying to impersonate…” he gestures vaguely at the sky at that, hoping kaito the detective caught his drift.

kaito the thief had read up a little on his counterpart’s situation once he’d figured out the situation he was in, and it seemed, in this universe, as though the existence of kaitō kid had vanished with the death of kuroba tōichi. kaito the detective must feel awful seeing someone running around playacting as his deceased father’s secret identity, which was something kaito the thief could relate to, considering he was the same person and was likely to have feelings along a similar vein.

“look, i can explain, but i think we’d both prefer if we had that conversation in private.” he’d already confirmed, prior to this encounter, his suspicion that the jewel he’d heisted tonight wasn’t likely to bring him back to his own universe, so with a disappointed hum, kaito the thief tosses his prize back in kaito the detective’s direction. “and this jewel’s not even the one i’m looking for, so i’m really gonna need your help. so, uh... you can handle that, and i’ll meet you in the secret room when you’re done, yeah?”

@yoakkemae, for kaito. call.

[ranger-kellyn]

one of the only gripes i have with Suki, Alone is that it makes her escape from the boiling rock....i don't know if hollow is the word i'm looking for, but? something along those lines?

like, all her talk with biyu about caring for the whole--

Suki, "...Maybe we can even grow enough to share with the other prisoners." Biyu, "The other prisoners?? Who cares about them?!" Suki, "I care about them. ... If we can get everyone better food, there's a chance for pushback against the guards. Maybe even a chance for us to escape."

Then later

Biyu, "I usually just look out for myself. But I'm starting to see the advantages of having friends around. Better eats, for one thing." Suki, "It isn't about advantages. It's about community. It we stand together, all of us have a better chance of making it out of this place. It isn't about using other people to make sure we survive. You understand that, right?"

and sure, plenty of that can just come down to the comic was released in 2021, and the episode aired in 2008. different times and different mediums.

idk. all this talk of community and wanting to take care of the whole, only for her to just drop all of that completely to escape with sokka, zuko, and hakoda... what about everyone else?? leave them all behind because what? biyu betrayed her?? :\

[userboxvariety]

yippee ! then can we please have a userbox that says "this user is a plurallet" please ? :3c

[heres the link: https://pluralpedia.org/w/Plurallet]

- 🍰

here u go <33 !!

[daz4i]

look at me. talking to strangers (in text, but still better than nothing) without getting into a panic attack. completing tasks quickly and efficiently. dedicating time each day to work on at least one of my longer term stuff. can you believe. who could've seen that coming

[stairset]

I had Spider-Man 2 mailed to my house when I pre-ordered it and it hasn't arrived yet so I've just been spending my entire day dodging spoilery Youtube thumbnails like Tobey Maguire dodging Green Goblin's razor bats in slo-mo in that one scene.