#i'd write this but it'd be a waste of time to put in more effort than this

[icypantherwrites]

So I received this absolute gem of a comment today. /s Ironically enough, contrary to this "person's" writing, they did in fact seek out this story (given that its been finished for several months and is quite far down on my profile at this point) and they did in fact spend the time to read a 50,000 word story given that they opted to leave this hateful, vitriol spewed comment on the final chapter. Not sure how that's actively avoiding but take a look for yourself. The comment has already been deleted as trying to respond or reason with people like this is a waste of my energy and sanity.

I'm going to go ahead and give a quick analogy to this situation that maybe a few more people can identify with rather than just fellow creators so you can see how hurtful words like this are. Someone (the author) throws a party. For the sake of structure we're going to call it an open house party where people can come and go as they please without any set activities or timelines. A person (this commenter) arrives to the party. They don't bring a host gift; perfectly fine, the open house is free and open to everyone to enjoy and celebrate (in this case enjoy a like fandom together) regardless of how long you've known the host or how close you are to them (in this scenario the person had left a single line comment on a single work in 2021 and that was the only interaction they'd ever had, just to set the scene further).

This person comes in and doesn't seek out the host to say hello or let them know they've arrived. They spend their entire time at the party eating and drinking and having fun. They leave without ever speaking to the host to say thank you, what a great time they had/are having, great party. They're a ghost. Maybe, maybe, the host caught a glimpse of them in the crowd (leaving a kudo or a bookmark) but otherwise they came, they partied, and they left without ever even acknowledging the host's effort, time, or energy spent to put on the party. It sucks and the host is hurt but there's nothing they can do.

But then, in this scenario, the attendee reaches out after the fact to send a scathing text to the host about all the things wrong with the party. The host had run out of their favorite food, the drink selection was poor, there weren't enough chairs to sit on, the music was too loud. They literally have to have the last word of hate and cruelty and stomp all over a free event that was put on for them to enjoy without any expectations except the polite and kind thank you for hosting, had a great time. Quite honestly, who the fuck does that? This person, apparently, and they are unfortunately far from the first I've encountered.

So to all of this, if you are someone who is so offended to an author saying something in their notes like "please don't read and run," or "if you enjoyed the story I'd really appreciate hearing from you in the comments," or "please share a little love with the author and leave a comment," or "this was a really hard story for me to write, it'd mean a lot to hear from you," and have to react in the above way of spending all that time to spew hate when they could have easily just left a 'enjoyed the story' or even just walked away with a kudo (or not) ... then please don't read my works. I don't have the energy any more to deal with just hateful, cruel people, and I don't want them reading my works about support and teamwork and being there for each other. I don't honestly even know why they'd want to when clearly those sorts of messages are at odds with their personal beliefs.

It costs nothing to be kind. And while I would love for everyone to write detailed comments with favorite scenes and parts and feedback, I appreciate just as much the person who says "thanks for the story" and leave it at that because at least they took the few seconds, a single moment, to give back to that author after reading their time and effort and energy. And if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all and just walk away. Better to be a ghost than someone who actively seeks to hurt others.

Between comments like these and all the AI-stuff still floating about I have really been waffling between setting my AO3 to logged-in users only. I'm trying not to do that as I know there are many who don't have accounts for one reason or another and this is how they are able to access my works, but it's becoming a more distinct possibility. I really hope I don't have to resort to that. Please don't make that have to be the only outlet I have left to protect myself (although, this was a logged in user so even that isn't foolproof.)

If you read this and want to help make a positive difference, go out there today and spread some love. Leave a comment -- short and sweet or super detailed, whatever you feel comfortable with doing -- on story you read today. Tag a favorite author in a post. Draw fanart. Compliment someone in person on their smile. Do a random act of kindness. Donate to a favorite charity or help someone in need. Please, please help put kindness back into the world because right now, at least to me, it just feels very very dark and it definitely needs some more bright lights.

[advnterccs-archive]

@countlessrealities sent; If Rick hadn't already been nervous before, he would have definitely become once after he had been presented with his boyfriend's thoughtful gifts. He had loved them, of course, but they also made him wonder if he had put enough efforts in his own.

"I-I have something for you too," he announced, starting to pull out his portal gun. "O-Obviously, I mean. 'C-Cause, damn, it's our first Christmas together an-and I'd be a fuckin' shitty boyfriend if I hadn't."

And if it had turned out that his gifts were as lame as he was starting to think they were, but he avoided saying that out aloud.

"G-Give me a second," he hurried to add, shooting a portal and stepping inside it before his counterpart could do or say anything.

The green vortex kept swirling for a few moments and then something started to be pushed through it. It was a huge box, about 6 x 3 feet, wrapped in electric blue paper and a big bright green ribbon. Once it would be open, it would reveal plastic packages. Lots and lots of them, and not just any plastic packages. The very same ones they had used to chase after when the Mulan special edition of Szechuan sauce had still been a thing.

Rick stepped out once it had been shoved completely on the garage floor, hands restlessly fixing his lab coat to unload some of his still building nerves.

"I-I might have spent four days locating an-and travelling to dimensions to collect so much of...that," he offered with a shrug that was supposed to be casual, but that still came out too stiff to be believable. "I...I-It's a fuckin' stupid present, but since it's so hard to find it an-and shit...Now you have your w-well stocked personal stash. B-But this isn't all"

Biting the inside of his cheek, he hurried to fish out another, much smaller package from his pocket. "T-This sort of looks like a rip off o-of the bracelet you got me, b-but...I hope you'll like it anyway."

It was a simple dark silver box, with an elegant alien symbol carved on the lid. Inside, there was a necklace. The string was made of a material similar to natural rubber, but softer and more resistant, while the pendant was an odd rock, whose bright reds and oranges seemed to change as it was moved, as if it had been made of an extremely hot fire.

"I-It's...There's this planet where t-they take pieces of stars an-and crystallise them," Rick explained, glancing away slightly. "An-And it seemed fitting since...w-well, shit you are the fuckin' star of my life, Rick."

{ My Rick to your Rick || I wrote it as some sort of continuation to your ask, since you have already posted yours! Gotta love some continuity x3 Also, someone decided to be in a mood(TM) while writing the ask -eyeroll- }

It'd been obvious all night that Rick's boyfriend looked on edge about something. Now that his gifts were presented, the short bout of silence, everything became clear. This was about the gifts. Specifically, the ones that his counterpart chose for him. He didn't know what to say at that revelation. If he should say anything at all.

Instead, he kept quiet, watching the subtle movements of his boyfriend talk. Softly eyeing him with a vague excitement and open-ended curiosity. After all, he wasn't expecting anything. He just wanted to know what got the other so worked up.

"A-Alright," He responded back in a light whisper. A little unsure where this was headed.

There weren't any guesses he could take. Anything could come out of that portal. Something big, something small. Whatever it was, it left his mind puzzled. Though, he refused to put the pieces together.

The large box being pushed out from the swirling green brought half his brow to raise. He wouldn't waste any time to kneel down onto the ground before it. Glancing up quickly at his counterpart with that same confused look before he began to unwrap the gift.

Yet, once it was finally revealed to him, along with the explanation, he felt himself freeze. He'd never really told anyone how that Szechuan sauce was important for the sole fact that it connected him to better memories. Specifically ones of him sharing chicken nuggets with his daughter all those years ago. It made him freeze, heart swelling at the memory and the present day thought of someone who loved him being so thoughtful enough to do all of this.

Standing up, his words would take a while to come out, but he was quieted down again as the second gift was presented. His blue eyes were wide as he took the box in his hand, opening it to stare at the necklace.

Every word and thought overwhelmed him. To the point where he felt as if he couldn't move. It wasn't bad, but he hadn't expected it. This felt perfect and, deep down, he didn't feel worthy of something this thoughtful.

He would have to fully examine the pendant on the necklace later.

At that moment, his vision blurred with a few tears beginning to stream down his face. Yet, the soft wonder in his eye and smile that made it's way on his face didn't falter.

"G-God damnit, I-I feel so fuckin' stupid getting emotional over Christmas gifts," He forced his body to move, a little clumsily, ending up almost falling into his boyfriend's arms. His own arms wrapping around the other's frame, tight and with the feeling as if he had no intention of letting go. "But, th-these are perfect, Rick, fuck, I-I can't fucking speak ---"

Nuzzling his face into the crook of his counterpart's neck, he sniffled from the emotions that poured out of him. ".... I-I love you... y-you're so fucking perfect, I-I don't know what else to say, I-I'm fuckin' in love with you and everything that you are."

[valcuda]

I'm thinking of trying to model some of my characters, cause I feel like if I did, I'd be making far more artwork with them, since I admittedly suck at drawing, especially at angles.

I'm definitely better with 3D (Ironic that my issue with drawing is the 3rd dimension), just being able to visualize crud better. I've actually created Hellen's and Sophia's houses in Minecraft, and am planning on doing Trisha's as well, just to help visualize the spaces for when I'm writing. I've also modeled a cafeteria from the Space Carrot!

- Unfortunately, this isn't actually my first time getting this idea. I've tried it in the past, and absolutely failed. I've also created nightmares beyond my comprehension when trying to sculpt in VR.

So, what is my plan this time? I'm gonna get a free base mesh, and attempt to make it look like the different characters!

I have a style, and my characters were designed for that style, and it's how I imagine them, so I want to try maintaining that, while still not exactly limiting myself to it. Notably, I draw with an outline, and while I once considered it part of my style, I don't think I'd keep it. It's more there for clarity at this point. I also don't want the 3D renders to look too much like illustrations. I kinda feel like it'd be disrespectful, since I'm essentially doing this cause I can't draw.

-

Anyways, I don't know if I'll actually go ahead with this, I am planning to at least try it, cause if this works, it'd make making artwork significantly easier, mainly just cause I find 3D easier to work with. (And I can abandon a project for 3 months, before returning like nothing happened)

Now then, I'd usually end it here, and you're free to stop reading now, but for those of you still here, it's time for...

Random Rants!

I kept going on tangents during this, which I decided to cut for clarity sake, but instead of wasting them, I decided to put them here! Enjoy!

-

I wanted to do it with Skizzy and Junk-Watt in the past, unfortunately, I have this issue where I can't draw Skizzy ever again, cause the drawings never look like her, so I was basing it off of her existing drawing.

Skizzy's drawing doesn't make any fucking sense, a fact I only learned this year, which is probably why I can never redraw her. I tried mapping her skull, failed, tried mapping her spine, failed, tried mapping her ribcage, failed. Her neck is off-center, and her head isn't symmetrical, it's a complete fucking nightmare!!!

In the past, I once attempted to recreate her post skeleton, as a last ditch effort to redraw her, and allowing me to fix her pose, and I somehow didn't notice this when I did that!!!

-

Believe it or not, this wouldn't actually be my first time modeling a character, it would just be my first time modeling human characters. I've actually made a total of 3 Carrot Man models in the past, which seemed impossible at first.

Originally, Carrot Man was a doodle, and while I'd draw him in different poses, I didn't need to worry about 3D! His hair had no order to it, and I put zero thought into how he'd stand up straight, or how his goggles fit on his head, or how his hair would even look!

This was when I made the first 3D model of him! It was a cone, with pineapple hair, which doubled the poly count of the model.

At some point, I decided to model him again, but before that, I made actual reference material!

This image still sits next to my desk to this day. This was the origin of Carrot Man's current design, it was the first time I made reference artwork of a character, and it's was what gave Carrot Man his 3rd dimension!

He's a cone, meaning he has to lean back to look forward. His hair was turned into a mostly flat shape, and his goggles were shaped so they'd actually fit around a cone.

This allowed me to make another model, which was based off of this design.

The most recent model however, was based on his new artwork, though still using the reference artwork's design for everything. Here's that model! (The only one I still have)

(I just noticed his legs are asymmetrical, that's cause the left one is only for demonstration since his left limbs are just mirrors of the right) I planned to use this for VRChat, and even some artwork, which is why I modeled a Space Carrot cafeteria, but I never got around to finishing it. As you can see, his eyebrows don't really work in 3D still, I have to put them on the goggles instead of his face, but I think I'm fine with that cheat.

--

Anyway, that is truly all for now!

[adj4mp]

Kys lib cunt. Starmer is a red Tory, is a liar, and has presided over purging of the genuine left in Labour. They are enacting more austerity. Also, cops protect private property. They don't actually protect ordinary people. You're a bootlicker.

I'm always interested to see other perspectives. And it's almost gratifying to get my first hate comment.

A lot of what you're reading on my blog was written a month or sometimes more before it was posted, I don't often go back and reread and reconfirm the things that are about to be posted in light of more recent events. Maybe I should but I would prefer if what I write isn't beholden to the exact nature of current events.

I am going to assume I got this comment specifically in response to my posts on Kier Starmer, What he said on the King's Speech, and perhaps even what I wrote about the Two Child Benefit Cap since the ask came in shortly after those posts went live. And most likely because I was mildly positive of Starmer

Posts during which I said:

there are no specific job requirements for being Prime Minister

while not entirely unifying he's certainly a competent leader of the party.

I do worry about a few things he's said, there are progressive rights I'd like to see championed but he's been pushed into a box, he's said some things that deeply trouble me

I've seen and heard worrying things from other ministers since the election and that those things have remained publically unchallenged and haven't been retracted makes me question

I'm fully expecting a government that is if not small c conservative then at least one that isn't going to push the boundaries of what was acceptable 10 years ago

Starmer sounds a lot like a true believer in many regards for the things in which he champions

The actions of the government to remove the whip for the few 'rebels' that voted for these amendments is somewhat disheartening

The good being that he's a competent leader and that he's a true believer do not imply that he's the best possible leader nor that those truly held beliefs are the ones I agree with.

The neutral being that there is no explicit prerequisites for being PM technically speaking anyone could be PM it doesn't need to be Starmer just someone with a modicum of public confidence at least at the time of appointment. And that he's not unifying, he's divisive within the Labour Party pushing out left-leaning members, and he's divisive within the country as a whole at least right now, but I'm confident almost anyone else as PM would be as divisive nationally.

The bad being that he's not progressive, that he's not going to make things better for a lot of social issues, and that he hasn't made any efforts to pull back from any of the harmful things that have been said by other members of his government who he's appointed, and that he's actively pushing out people who put personal morality above party unity.

When I've done write-ups about who has what position, of which this is the first, my aim hasn't been to work out which candidate could be best for that role, I don't have any say in that so it'd be wasted effort. Instead, the posts are both to understand why a given person has been given the role they have and why they might have accepted that role.

If I can see and explain these things then I can begin to understand their positions on the issues that come up and work out how best to appeal to them.

There is another post that was spun off from this but I will queue that for tomorrow.

[gachagon]

For the past 3 years I've been so stressed out and incredibly depressed about my life because I just felt like I had nothing going for me, or like I was a failure in some way.

But a few days ago I told my mom I'd like to teach kids over the summer art and she went "That's a great idea!" and decided to help me and gave me advice and she seemed really supportive of it.

I told my aunt that I was also thinking of teaching kids over the summer, and she also thought it was great. In fact all my family think it's a wonderful idea and that I should just go ahead and teach kids over the summer for cash. Sure there was talk about eventually going to school, but none of them seemed disappointed that I wanted to do this work and business thing first.

And my aunt even said "You know, maybe you could also sell your art on a website for some money as well." and normally before then that would always make me feel sick to my stomach for some reason. When ever I felt like I had finally "figured it out", like what I wanted to do, someone else would chime in like "You could also do this too!" and it'd make me feel like I was picking the wrong thing. Like "what if they secretly think I'd be bad at what I picked and thats why they said that?" or "What if they don't even really support me doing the thing I wanna do and thats why they made that suggestion?"

But I've come to realize now after these 3 years since I graduated highschool that I can literally just do whatever I want. I can make my own business if I want, I can write a book and publish it to amazon for people to read if I want, I can make an etsy sticker shop if I want. I can do whatever little fun thing I want to do to make money and there's no shame in struggling with it at first.

For some reason when I did art commissions and never got any customers for months, i'd feel like shit even though I was putting in ALL this work and time and effort to market my artwork to people. I felt like I was wasting everyones time. I don't know who's time, but it just felt like I was wasting someone's time that wasn't mine.

But now I realize that I was working hard. That all the energy and effort I did back then was the same effort and energy I put into my "retail' job or my "lunch lady" job. Just because I wasn't standing on my feet for 5 hours and cleaning nonstop doesn't mean I wasn't still working hard and learning and struggling to make a profit like all businesses do.

I don't know why I always devalued the work and effort I put into the things I had already accomplished, or why i felt like it was meaningless in the face of corporate work, but it was still work at the end of the day. And there's no such thing as easy work.

I kind of think it was the pressure from school and having all the adults who taught me tell me I'd be nothing if I didn't go to college, or that I had to take such and such class to get into a good college.

But when I graduated all of the things they told me I needed didn't even end up mattering in the end. I didn't have to take the ACT or SAT, colleges just ended up accepting ppl without those scores due to covid. I didn't have to take all those clubs because colleges and jobs didn't even care about what I did when I was 16 and in school lol. I didn't even need to have all straight A's to make it out okay.

I came out of highschool with abysmal grades and little to no club experience that mattered, and 3 years later I'm literally making my own business. So I guess the decades they spent scaring the shit out of me about being a failure was for nothing because I ended up proving them all wrong.

And everytime I'm like "i can't do this" I just tell myself to shut up and like work more on the business. Like there's no deadlines anymore. If I don't get customers this summer, I can get customers the next, and the next after that. And I can work on other ways to make cash If I want. And choosing all these different things doesn't mean I "failed" at life. Because I can always choose to try again no matter how many times I think I didn't do it right.

Even this whole business thing is something I can just do all over again if I want to because I made it all up myself.

[narcissusneverknewme]

drarry fic idea that I will never write because it’s trash

A year after the war ends, Malfoy is elbow deep in restoring the Manor and associated properties. He accidentally acquires a young snake, idk how but he didn’t buy it. Maybe he found it in a shed or better yet, someone left it in his desk. He’s never owned anything that wasn’t a fancy purebred but for some reason he keeps it. It’s familiar green color with a yellow underbelly, it’s scales are sort of rough, and it has a pretty smattering of black across the ridge of it’s back. And it must be sort of magical because it’s too smart and seems to like Draco far more than reptiles generally like people. 

He doesn’t know what gender the snake is but feels like it’s female for some reason. Her calls her Ceryneia. She never bites but she shows irritation in other ways.

Eventually he runs into Harry. There’s been a few more “pranks” like Ceryneia, each more serious than the one before. The last one involved some very dark magic and Auror Potter is dispatched to open an investigation. Draco realizes where he recognized the green of Ceryneia’s scales from: Harry Potter’s stupid eyes.

Partway through the most awkward and frustrating interview of Harry’s career so far, he hears Ceryneia hissing. She’s very rude.

“What’s that then?” Draco hasn’t noticed the hissing and doesn’t know what he’s talking about, so Harry has to ask, “are you aware you’ve got a snake up your sleeve?”

When Draco produces her Harry nearly has a heart attack, “you do know that’s a viper you got wrapped ‘round your arm, right??”

“...Of course I know that.”

“...”

“... ok is she venomous?”

“I have no idea.” pauses to listen as she hisses loudly, “but she is wound up. trust you to get a dangerous pet that manages to be prissier than you.” Harry looks at her amused for a minute than starts talking to her.

Draco’s pissed Harry can talk to her and he can’t, but unexpectedly finds the parseltongue thing sort of... hot? “What does she have to be wound up about?”

“She’s not a fan of mine, apparently. She must be at least a bit magical because she understood when I told you she’s venomous. I think she’d afraid you’ll get rid of her,” he squints as the hissing gets louder, “her insults put every one you’ve ever come up with to absolute shame.” he looks at Draco, dark hair falling into bright eyes, rakish and untidy despite being a ministry employee “she’s weirdly... fond of you.” More indignant hissing. Harry hisses back, almost laughing.

then lots of plot occurs and some great character/ship development. Lots of pining and realizations and even more fighting and snarky dialogue. Then, when they’re on the verge of catching a group trying to off people that were cleared of deatheater charges by the ministry, Harry disappears and Draco has to go looking for him. Ceryneia turns out to have be an illegal cross-breed between a green African bush viper and the descendant of a horned serpent. Draco finds the building Harry’s trapped in and Ceryneia tracks him like a bloodhound. They make out until Ceryn starts complaining that the building is drafty.

Then they like fight back-to-back or something while Ceryn shape-shifts into an 6-ton version of herself, starts a thunderstorm, breathes a paralytic venom into some badguy faces, and generally freaks everyone out. When she runs out of energy she shrinks to her usual size and slowly slithers up to Draco, demanding he pick her up and lay her over his shoulders for a nap. She sleeps through the last 10 minutes of the fighting curled around his throat like a scaly necklace. 

After all the necessary crap at the ministry they get released back into the wild, and go to Harry’s for celebratory drinks with Ron & Hermione. Everything’s going fine (kind of) until a snow-white ferret with clever black eyes and a little pink nose comes running up to Harry, paws clicking on the floor as he runs around Harry’s feet and tries to climb his leg. Harry plays with him a little bit as Draco stares at him. The other two stare at Draco. 

As the ferret skips off chuckling to himself, Harry looks up to see raised eyebrows. He suddenly looks uncomfortable.

“He was just.. in the shop one day,” Harry defends, “it’s not like I went in meaning to get one” Ron and Hermione are snickering in the background.

“What’s his name?”

“...”

“...”

“Thuban.”

“I’m never speaking to any of you again”

it turns out Ceryneia and Thuban actually get on, and seem to be able to communicate surprisingly well. They play tag around the house, the first time they saw the ferret chasing down the snake Draco nearly killed Thuban. Ceryn can shapeshift for a short periods at a time into a goofy-looking ferret with a vivid green coat and black-tipped hairs along her back and feet. They’ll play games and go on little trouble-making adventures trying to destroy things. The upside is that Harry doesn’t speak ferret and can’t carry on his stupid in-jokes with Draco’s pet when she’s running around and rummaging through drawers.

 * * * * *

Thuban is a star in the constellation Draco and the Ceryneian stag/hind (usually hind) was a deer with golden horns that Heracles chased for a year. It may have had it’s own constellation at one point.

I’ve seen a few Draco-with-a-snake stories but never a any ferret fics and now I want 12. also I always loved in the books when people illegally breed experimental mixes of magical creatures, it’s so dangerous and unnecessary. 

[starshiningsirius]

Lone fae (Yandere Malleus x reader)

To my favorite lonley dragon fae happy birthday!

Malleus had been told about a fae living in a town of humans for quite some time now. At first he had become angry seeing as he was King and someone would dare ally themselves with the enemy. He'd punish them himself. As if any traitor could stand against him and live was a mistake that'd cost them their lives. He told his advisor and guardian Lilia that'd he'd be back after dealing with said traitor.

Only to get to said town and notice a woman with pointy ears, beauty beyond belief, picking berries within the forest that surrounded the town. At first he kept his composure watching for a moment maybe a bit longer considering she acknowledged his presence.

"Ah, hello sir."

She didn't know who he was? That was surprising literally everyone whose anyone knew the Fae King and would tremble at the mention of his name. Yet this naive little fae knew nothing about who she spoke to. How cute.

'A fae in the village? How strange do they not know about our hatred towards humans?'

"Hello." He had his arms crossed and came out into the open.

She noticed the ears and instantly became curious.

"Our ears are similar." She murmured it under her breath, but Malleus still heard it. She noticed his horns too and realized that she must have been a bit different since she lacked them.

'So she hasn't met her own kind before?'

That was how their first encounter went. They chatted for a little while exchanging names as Malleus wanted to test if she knew him by that but got no reaction. Malleus watched her go back all the way to her house in secret of course. From high up in the air. As soon as he saw where she lived he went back home.

'This so called "traitor" would require a bit more inquiry.'

* * *

He decided to find out himself, her background by asking a different question to gain some information.

"Y/n do you have a family?"

"Hm? I have a little brother named Aiden at home but that's about it."

"What about your parents?"

"I can't recall when I was kid all I remember was waking up in an alley with Aiden crying in my arms. There was a- .... lot of blood about the place my dress that was once white had been stained. Anything before that isn't anything I probably want to remember considering that scene alone." She trembled for a second before continuing to pick herbs and berries from bushes. Malleus sided eyed her reaction feeling slight guilt towards it.

"I see, my apologies for bringing up troublesome memories." Malleus wasn't hard of hearing considering how she paused as if she didn't want to recall the gory scene. Yet still she smiled without much effort it was small but it did make him feel some what relieved.

"It's fine your the only person I've told. No one else talks to me in town and I'm not ready to tell Aiden yet with his innocence, I'd rather not taint. He's all I've got and I don't want to lose him."

* * *

He understood quite a bit now pertaining to their situation. He had to admit though, he had become fond of the female fae. Someone so innocent and docile couldn't be a traitor. Lilia saw that the situation was taking longer than expected and decided to accompany Malleus this go around.

He wanted to see for himself if Malleus was being fooled, though he doubted it. Not only that but for the sake of his own boredom in the castle and to satiate his own curiosity.

"Y/n this here, is a comrade of mine." Malleus stood next to his comrade, a short cheerful looking child with bright magenta stripes of hair under the black side. Two pointy ears stood on the side of his head too.

She was happy to say the least to know two new similar people to her at the very least. Today happened to be the day Malleus was going to meet Aiden. She didn't mind Lilia tagging along of course.

"Lilia Vanrouge, Ms. a pleasure." He looked rather young in her opinion but his voice signaled to not be fooled by his appearance. She shook hands with the male who brought a pleasant atmosphere with him.

* * *

"So your Malleus huh? My sister speaks very fondly of you sir. She's been talking about you for centuries!" The little boy exaggerated making Malleus's eyes widen and at first he felt an overwhelming amount of happiness with how he had made a good impression.

Both him and Lilia chuckled to themselves as the girl who had been in the same room blushed furiously from embarrassment. Taking her brother by the arm she glared at him.

"Aiden you know that isn't true, you asked where I had been and I answered." She strained her voice to try and put emphasis on her truth only to receive laughter from the boy.

Lilia came up to him patting his head with a smile.

"Fondly and centuries such large words for a child so young." Lilia had felt a slight connection to the energetic youngster. He thought it'd be fun to get to know him better.

"Sis is teaching me to read and write words from the dictionary! I'm very ingenious!" He was smug about the new words he was learning with a proud smile causing Lilia to laugh.

Malleus had a smile on his face small and affectionate but a few other thoughts came up to his mind upon thinking about the boys words. He looked toward his sister who was now in the kitchen making dinner.

"Aren't there schools about here he could go to?" His concern for the child was showing.

"There are but with his ears, I'd rather not take chances until his hair grows out, not to mention his abilities are still uncontrolled, and we're kinda barely keeping this house, so school isn't much of an option at the moment." She looked down chopping vegetables but was still focused. Until her brother spoke again.

"Look I can do magic!" He was so enthusiastic, but the dread look on his sister's face said it all.

"No! Don't you dare we can't hope to fix the ceiling!" She yelled but Lilia stopped her seeing as she yelled she covered her mouth in realization.

"Worry not my dear, let me see this young lad do magic. I'll make sure he doesn't damage anything." He was calm and collected which was shocked her but she let him do as he wished.

Aiden whose excitement had been on the rise at the thought of showing someone else raised his hand and emitted a large slew of green flames rising fast. Of course it actually shocked both Lilia and Malleus to see the color itself and how big the flames he conjured were.

Lilia had regained his composure for a split second and created some wind to dispell the flames before they could reach the ceiling and burn a hole. Malleus and Lilia looked at each other knowingly for a moment before Lilia showed a smile toward the young boy with his fangs gleaming in the light.

"I see the problem your letting out all of your mana at once young one, still your mind and channel the flow to ignite a single flame." He advised carefully with hand on Aiden's shoulder.

Malleus felt as if he was watching a younger version of himself seeing his guardian teach another. The young fae had followed Lilia's teachings to a tee and a small green flame became lit in front of him.

"Sister! Sister! Did you see I got it! I did it!" He was jumping up for joy at his achievement.

"Yes I see thank you Lilia. You thank him too Aiden." She was happy to say the least, it was as if good fortune was brought with them to have met these two.

"Thank you Lilia!"

"Your welcome dear child you can learn with me anytime. You have a lot of potential that shouldn't be wasted." That made his eyes light up in pure unadulterated excitement.

"Sister did you hear that!"

"I did." She was just relieved someone could teach him besides all her past failed attempts.

"So does that mean you can use magic too then?" Malleus had wandered closer to her without her knowledge it made her flinch. Seeing the anticipation of her answer in his eyes, she answered him.

"Yes though mine's is a bit more controlled. I can conjure wind and green flames. As well as levitate a multitude of things toward me at once but that's about it. I haven't had too much time to practice." She waved her hand with a slight glow and brought a couple of ingredients in cupboards down on to the counter letting them shut on their own again.

Holding put her hand she conjured a small green flame that wouldn't cause any damage over the palm of her hand.

"Seems like your well taught." Lilia mentioned.

"That's only because before we got this house we lived in the forest and magic made things a bit easier, but otherwise while we live here we don't have a use for it. Aiden still wants to learn but my teaching can only go so far as I don't know much on the subject." She looked somewhat frustrated at her own uselessness. Malleus could tell she wasn't lying about what she could do that's for sure.

* * *

After dinner both fae left the home walking out but saying goodbye to the siblings. At first they walked away from the house, but soon to prevent from being seen by any late night walkers they teleported to the castle.

"A pair of fae with royal blood is rare. I do wonder how the both of them ended up in that human village though." Lilia started off by saying.

Green flames were the insignia to regal blood for fae even Malleus knew that fact. Known to be the most powerful of all faes. Yet two were living in a human town right within the heart of the enemy and neither knew.

"Yes but from what I've been able to tell whoever had taken care of them is probably dead. Slaughtered by humans most likely. She said she wasn't able to remember anything before that. I'm assuming her and her brother come from some line thought to have been killed when the war against the humans started." Malleus recalled all he learned about her over the past few weeks he came to know her.

"Such a shame those two don't even know their own kind. Living their life in solitude as outcasts when they could be a lot more free if they lived here." Lilia did actually feel pity for the pair of souls having grown an attachment toward the younger sibling as he had taught Malleus when he was young as well. Those days were reminiscent for him. Aiden just happened to be similar to young Malleus in that regard.

"Malleus, if any humans discover royal fae over in that village they'll be killed. It's only a matter of when." He stated that matter of factly considering he was a general during the aforementioned war and many fae had been chased out of human villages. The ones left had been unfortunate to be victims that were sacrificed.

"I know, I won't let them lay a finger on either of them. Get Silver and Sebek have the staff prepare two rooms in the castle for our guests." Malleus walked away from Lilia without a second thought after saying what he wanted done.

"I was hoping you'd say that. Seems you've gotten attached to her in a different way. Ah, I'm so glad to see you chasing after someone, it feels like ages since you've been small so long ago. I'll have little Aiden to teach all the stuff I once taught you. What a joyous occasion to think someone will finally sit on the throne next to you." Lilia smiled feeling eager and chipper at the future ahead.

He went to go get the two knights that would always await orders from their master. Skipping down the halls all the while humming an unknown tune.

* * *

Something has been different with Malleus as of today. He was fiddling with his fingers a bit more often than usual. He didn't want to meet her gaze at the time either.

"Malleus is there something wrong?" Worry laced in her tone for the man sitting next to her.

"Yes." He replied rather swiftly but ended it there.

"Would you like to tell me what about?" She at least wanted to try and comfort him however she could.

That's what made her different than most fae, most feared him, she didn't of course she and that oblivious little head of hers didn't. Before she could even grasp how much power she could have held it was taken from her.

Malleus had turned his head and looked her directly in the eye.

"You."

"Me?" She was surprised and confused about what he meant by that, lowering her head for a second to think.

Of course it didn't last long, as Malleus directed her chin to gaze at him instead of the forest soil.

"Y/n, my alluring little darling, would you do me the honor of staying with me?"

He said with a gentle smile. The proximity and his words had her face red within seconds. She still had to give him a reply and sadly she didn't want to upset him but she didn't have much of a choice.

"I'm sorry Malleus I can't. This place is all I've ever known. Going somewhere else with all that could happen, ... It's not that I don't like you but my own fears are holding me back." She was trying to come up with the right words so he'd hopefully understand.

It stung, it truly did. The rejection wasn't something he hypothesized but it was still an option. It was fine though, all would be well. That sheltered mindset of hers would just have to broken a bit. She'd come to rely on him, she'd have no other choice afterall.

She hadn't experienced much of human cruelty, he'd just have to show her how cruel they could really be and then she would have to seek his aid.

* * *

Everyone in town today had been on edge it seemed. She left Aiden at home sound asleep, while she went out to go and buy veggies and meat she couldn't get in the forest. As she walked toward a thrifter many people side eyed her. She was the only person to walk with a hood on. In fact many people generations before this one too when asked had seen her.

As she got up to the vegetable thrifter the man in front of her had scowled. She saw this but just thought he was having a bad day. That's when someone came behind her and pulled her hood down abruptly.

"A fae! A fae in the village!"

"She's the one who cursed the crops! If we kill her the curse will end!"

"Someone grab her!"

Before she knew it she ran, someone did lay a hand on her but she pushed them away with wind magic. It wasn't on purpose, but fear overtook her person and magic required self control.

She wanted to run back to her house but with how fast the mob was chasing she couldn't put Aiden at risk like that. Maybe just maybe if she went back to the forest, he'd be there. He could help her, or Lilia either would do.

* * *

She didn't see him. Maybe her words struck a cord. She should have agreed. A stupid decision on her own part, he could've probably taken them somewhere where people like her were accepted. Where magic was used and no worries to be had.

She just narrowly dodged an arrow fired at her. It seemed the mob had caught up. Turning her attention back toward their screeches, what could she do?

In a last ditch effort attempt she called his name.

"Malleus!" The crowd closing in on her arrows knocked and aimed. So this was it huh?

Suddenly something slithers around her body, her waist to be more precise and holds her in a vice grip.

A tail? Of long reach with a purple scales of a dark pigment.

Before it pulled her into the darkness of the forest behind her. Until she felt a chest that placed her gently to the ground freeing her from the grip the of the tail that had once gripped her tightly.

She saw a light emitted from where she had once been, green flames took its place in her stead.

"I do hope you'll accept my offer to stay with me now, my love." Malleus's voice brought her out of her stupor, a frown seeing her in such fear. He didn't want to go so far but he would rather have liked her to willingly agree to living with him as his Queen. She wouldn't have any worries should she live her life on the throne worshipped by everyone.

"Wait! Wait! Please let me bring Aiden I can't leave my brother behind!" She had gripped his clothing turning around desperate tears spilling.

Speaking of said boy who popped his head from behind the fae that stood in front of her, smiled and ran to hug his sister.

"Y/n! Malleus let me up on his shoulders he was so tall! Wait why are you crying?" Her brother's happiness went away for a moment at the tears he saw from his older sibling.

She was shocked, since when had he been here. He was asleep before, she was sure. It didn't make any sense.

"Aiden how, ... why are you here?"

"Lilia offered to teach me more magic! He said it was dangerous to teach me inside the house so we came out here." For a second she thought it was a dream. A bad dream turned good.

"Were you worried? Sorry, I'll tell you next time I promise." Aiden hugged her after finishing his sentence trying comfort his sister from her state of fear. It worked a little having her shoulders relax.

Malleus had stroked her head to sooth her worries as well. A small smile graced his lips at the scene before him.

"Worry not my dear, I'll accept all parts of you. Of course I'd never forget your dear brother. Will you accept my proposal now?" He was awaiting an answer, the same look in his eyes akin to when he asked if she could use magic.

"Yes I do, it was my mistake for denying your offer in the first place. I'm sorry Malleus."

He was happy that the situation had caused her to regret her answer. Of course he didn't outwardly show it. But he was internally pleased. His new queen and energetic little brother would make a wonderful addition to the Draconian line.

As they disappeared instantly to where their new home would be, Malleus left behind some what one would call fireflies by the looks of it. They were just traces of his magic to other faes. It was a calling for someone else though.

The town the two faes once called home was being destroyed as soon as they left. Screams upon screams could be heard one after another. Flames of red and orange to destroy and have no one alive to recall the prescene of two royal clan faes.

All done by three, one wise fae, and two knights that served to do everything their master asked of them. It would all be gone while Malleus would help them settle into their new lives, the one they deserved from the beginning, if humans hadn't taken it from them.

Masterlist

[senfena]

Cold War: Remedy, Chapter 11

A/N: Sorry this one took so long to come out, my mental health took a dive and it hasn't really recovered yet. It's been a little difficult for me to look at my own writing. But for now, here's chapter 11 :>

April 18, 1984

18:12

"Hey Russell,

You'd better still be alive, because I'm not taking a 30 hour trip for nothing. Really, you should be grateful I'm even putting in this effort. Who the hell does Hudson think he is anyway, trying to keep me from coming along? Do you think he's noticed I've left yet? How pissed do you think he is? God, I can already hear him yelling at me for disobeying orders. But whatever, as long as we get you back, I don't really care what happens to me.

Anyways, I can't sleep anymore and we're a couple hours from landing besides, so I figured I'd write you. Somehow I remembered to bring my notebook but I forgot to bring anything really useful to the mission, like weapons. Good work me. I did bring my radio but I don't know what frequency they'll be using so I'm pretty much in the blind.

By the way, I need a new last name, because I'll be honest, the one you came up with is just wrong for me. I've been trying to think of a new one but every one I think of doesn't fit either. Maybe you can help me come up with one once you're back.

In the meantime, I should figure out what my plan is. It'd probably be best to just rent a motorcycle once I get to the airport, I'm no use to you being arrested or a wanted fugitive. Once I get to the camp, do I just leave the bike there and go back with the others? No, I have an actual record now, I can't have that against me. Weapons…I still don't know what I'm gonna do about that.

You really are lucky I'm going through all this trouble.

Don't die (Because I'm the only one allowed to kill you),

Serena."

You put the notebook and pencil away in your carry-on bag, unsure of how to occupy yourself now. It was probably best to try and get a little bit more sleep, it was gonna be a long drive into Laos. You turned your head to the side and closed your eyes, hoping it wouldn't be too difficult to fall unconscious. "I'm coming for you, Russell." You thought to yourself. "Just hang on a little longer."

___________

April 19, 1984

12:03

"It's go time! Get on the gun! Don't get killed!" Woods barked back to Wolf as he brought the helicopter into landing position. As the team began to fire at the enemies surrounding them, Wolf grabbed hold of the minigun, jumped down and started firing, sweeping from side to side and killing anything that moved. The rest of the team jumped out and mopped up the stragglers. After a few seconds, all was calm, and silent.

Rivas turned to face the group. "Camp's a few klicks east. They knew we were coming." "Fuck." Wolf bemoaned, turning back to Woods. "Can't abort, or Adler's as good as dead." Woods jumped down from the chopper. "He's one tough son of a bitch, but everyone's got a breaking point. Time's wasting, kids." He declared to the group. "Let's move." Rivas signaled for everyone to follow her as they began to trek through the jungle.

Wolf looked back to Park. "Now that we've landed, we should radio Bell." "Bell?" Rivas questioned. "Another member of our team." Woods informed. "Hudson kept her from coming along, her legs got hurt pretty bad a couple months back. But she and Adler have complex history, she's not gonna let him bite the dust if she can help it." He briefed Wolf as well as Rivas. You and Wolf never really got the chance to introduce yourselves to each other. "She flew into Bangkok yesterday and she's been driving through the night. Hope is that we'll all rally at the entrance to the camp at the same time."

"That's the hope," Sims spoke up, "but it sounds a bit too optimistic. Do we even know which radio frequency she's using? Or if she's even close enough to hear us?" He turned to Park. "Afraid not." She imparted. "We just have to hope we get lucky." "And what if we land on one of the cartel's frequencies instead?" Sims quipped. "If they already know we're coming, I don't think it matters too much." Woods retorted. Park pressed the talk button on her radio. "This is Park, transmitting in the blind. Bell, if this is your frequency, please reply." Everyone was silent, waiting for a reply. No answer came, only static. Park changed her frequency. "This is Park, transmitting in the blind. Bell, if this is your frequency, please reply." More static. She changed the frequency again.

___________

43 minutes later

If the photos Hudson had shown you all were correct, the compound should be just ahead. Which was worrying, because you hadn't heard from the team yet. Are they way behind you right now? Or maybe-"This is Park, transmitting in the blind. Bell, if this is your frequency, please reply." The radio blared from your shoulder into your left ear. It was difficult to hear over the roar of the motorcycle, but you managed to make it all out. You stopped the bike and put your hand on the talk button. "Park, it's Bell, I'm here. What's your status?" You asked, relieved that at least some part of this was going right. "We're coming up on the camp now. What's your position?" She inquired, audible solace in her voice. "Right behind you guys, seems like. I got a rifle from a cartel asshole that tried to ambush me." You informed her. "Copy that, we're about to storm the compound. Fall in behind us." "Understood, coming in now." You put your hands back on the handlebars and floored the throttle.

Over the roar of the engine you heard Woods command; "Everyone move in! Go, go!" You turned a corner to see two helicopters doing a strafing run over the camp, with the rest of the team rushing in. You pinned the throttle and kept the bike at full speed until you reached the gate. You slowed down and jumped off, sprinting forward to join Park and Rivas as they took cover on a fence outside of a livestock hut.

"What's the situation?" You yelled out to Park. "We've cleared the main road, but we still have the buildings and the temple ruins to clear out! On me, let's go!" Park stood and hurried into the livestock hut, with You and Rivas in tow. The hut was clear, you all stepped out and swiftly received fire from two enemies taking cover in a room that led to the temple. You all ducked back into the building as a plethora of bullets flew your way. You sat in wait until the right moment, and as the gunfire stopped as they both went to reload, you and Park rushed out, sliding behind a boulder for cover. You watched as Park took one of the grenades from her belt, pulled the pin and lobbed it into the room, screaming "Tossing a frag!"

You ducked your head down, only raising it up again after hearing the explosion and the pained screams that followed. You all moved forward into a wrecked stone courtyard. No more movement to be seen there, however as you strided into what looked like a treasure room, another enemy jumped out from behind a pillar on the left side, rushing you and pushing you to the ground. He didn't get the chance to do anything more before Rivas shot him in the skull with her crossbow, kicking his body off of you. She offered a hand to help you up, but suddenly had to take it back to reload her crossbow before you could accept it. You turned your head around to see two more agents running down the stairs out of the main temple room, weapons pointed at you. You raised your AK and sent 4 shots flying at the one on the right, as Park put two headshots in the one on the left.

You turned back to see Rivas again offering her hand, which you took with a smile. You all prowled into the main room of the temple weapons at the ready, but there were no more enemies to be seen. Looks like the compound was clear of cartel…and Adler, at least on your side. "East side clear, no sign of Adler. Wolf, what's your sitrep?" Park queried over the radio. "West side clear, no sign of Adler here either." Wolf answered back.

"What!?" You spat out in confusion. "No, no, he has to be here. We can't have come all this way for nothing!" "It seems like he has been here, we found some kind of interrogation room." Woods spoke up as he, Sims and Wolf regrouped with you outside of a war room. "Looks like he was strapped into a chair, and there's TV's all over the place." Interrogation room? What the hell were they doing to him? "Bloody hell…" Park put her hand on her waist, looking down at the floor. "We'll figure out our next move about Adler later. For now, we still have the Nova 6 to deal with." She gestured to an abundance of blue barrels underneath a stilted structure. "Let's get them out of here."

You all moved forward to start grabbing hold of the barrels, however as you grasped hold of one and began to drag it, it was way less heavy than you anticipated. Wait, was there even anything inside of it? Everybody else looked confused as well. You shook and rattled it on the ground and felt no weight at all. You looked to Park in bewilderment. She hesitated for a moment, then pushed over a barrel, revealing it to be empty. Fantastic. No Nova 6, no Adler, no nothing. This entire goddamn thing was a ruse. "GodDAMNIT!" You roundhoused a barrel in your rage, sending it flying, landing on the field below. Park rested a hand on your shoulder. "What the hell are we gonna do now?" You asked emptily as you put your face into the palm of your hand.

Suddenly you heard a groaning sound coming from behind you. You all turned to see it was a cartel soldier who hadn't yet died from his gunshot wound, laying on the ground. In a blind fury you strided over to him, kicking him in the rib cage, forcing out an anguished yell from him. "Where's Adler?" You interrogated him in a calmer voice, compared to how furious you felt. "I….I'm not s-saying…a damn thing…" He croaked out. "Oh no?" You snarled as you kicked him in the ribs again. "I disagree. I think you and your friends that are left know where he is and I think you're going to tell us." Woods strolled up behind you. "Whaddya think, Bell? Make 'em suffer?" You simply looked down vengefully into the eyes of the writhing soldier, who, whether they knew it or not, was your final hope.

"Beyond their darkest fears."

[lilibetbombshell]

"There's a strength to be found in hatred. There's a courage forged only in rage."

This is only one of many, many great lines from Jay Kristoff's "Empire of the Vampire" that are simply begging to be pulled out and quoted on social media, tattooed on bodies, and printed on merchandise for all the world to see. And you know what? I'm not even mad about it, because this book deserves it. This book deserves a fandom. This book deserves fans, and that's why I'm so glad it's already planned out to be a saga, because it'd be a shame to let all this potential go to waste with a single book and nothing else to show for it.

As most readers of genre fiction, I've grown wary of vampire fiction. So, needless to say, I approached this book with caution. Almost with trepidation, I'd say. But I was more than pleasantly surprised: I was sucked right the hell in.

It's not that "Empire of the Vampire" is totally original. That'd be an absurd thing to expect from any vampire novel. Because, let's face it, there's a reason why we've all become wary of vampire novels! But it seems Kristoff is self-aware enough to know better than to condescend to his readers and act like he's coming from an entirely original place here. Several vampire and non-vampire related (but still fantasy-related) allusions, impressions, references, and what I like to call "the feel of" are definitely present here. As a reader (and of course I cannot tell you if this is what Kristoff intended), these are the various influences that came to mind as I was reading: "Interview with a Vampire", Trinity Blood (the anime), Blood + (the anime), Game of Throne (the TV show), D&D, "In the Name of the Wind", an episode of NCIS I can't remember the name of (and I just KNOW this is probably me because I'm weird), and a few more I forgot to take notes about.

There are rich descriptions of each character meant to play a major part, and they are a motley crew rich with diversity and with varying degrees of foul mouths. My favorite character in probably the whole book is Seraph Talon, who not only has the foulest mouth out of any of the characters, but also has the most original insults I've ever seen written on the page. I'm not even going to quote a single damn one because you all deserve a chance to discover them for the first time yourselves. But I'm pretty sure I laughed, snorted, or snickered at each and every one.

The written depictions of the scenery and the journey(s) that Gabriel is embarking upon in this book are so well-written that it's almost as if you could slip them write into a screenplay without much effort. You could adapt this into an anime, animated series, TV show, or movie without much issue at all. I just thank goodness Kristoff was clear on the diversity of the characters when he wrote the book so there would be no confusion if it were ever to BE adapted!

Some of the language is simply beautiful as it flows, but here's where I run into what kept this book from being a 5-star book: the issue of memory. Memory doesn't work in a linear and clear fashion like this book depicts. The thing is, telling someone your own history deliberately and automatically makes you an unreliable narrator. That means we can't trust our protagonist, Gabriel, for shit. And I think, again, Kristoff isn't trying to be condescending here: I think he fully expects us readers to not trust Gabriel's story in its entirety. And it's a smart move, when this book is the first in a series. You have to leave them wanting more, right? We have questions we want answered, right?

One of the things I love best about this book are the ILLUSTRATIONS! Bon Orthwick did the interior illustrations for this book, and they are utterly gorgeous. They are definitely true to Orthwick's usual style, but they also seem to have a bit of an Art Nouveau-meets-Renaissance feel to them... as if Alphonse Mucha had tried to put a little Botticelli in his paintings. They are so beautiful I feel like people will be begging to have prints made big enough to put up on their walls (and that's totally deserved!).

I already can't wait for the next book, because I need to KNOW THINGS.

I'd like to thank St. Martin's Press for giving me the opportunity to give this book a fair and honest review, and Jay Kristoff for writing such a spectacular book!

[insomni-snacc]

Mx. Shoggoth, I Presume? Pt 4

Warning! Sexual humor and heavy swearing ahead.

-----------------------------

It's Showtime!

You two stood there, shuffling your feet for what seemed like hours. You'd never been proposed to before, even if it was fake. What came next? You had an old ring you had picked up the day before. The etched silver band reminded you of him, the carvings almost matching his signature stripes. You supposed you ought to give it to him now.

"Ah, by the way doll." Beetlejuice cut through your thoughts, "I uh… well since we need this gaggle of breather kids to see me it'd be best if…" he trailed off, barely audible as he mumbled "I'd like it if you'd summon me."

"Pardon? Sorry, I didn't catch that."

He raked his hands through his violently pink hair, "Just read this, dammit." He handed you a business card.

"... A matchmaker? Beej I don't think I need this right--"

"TURN IT OVER."

You did so. "Beetlejuice… Beetlejuice…"

He had to lean against the side of the house to steady himself. He was way too happy with the way his name sounded coming from you.

"Beetlejuice." You finished. A familiar cloud of green smoke formed around the two of you as the demon launched himself into the air. He did a flip and summoned up some fireworks, sending a wink in your direction. What a showoff.

"It's showtime, baby!" Being summoned, let alone by such an exceptional human, gave him the high he needed to get past the last few awkward minutes. He glided down to you, grabbing your hand to give you a quick twirl before pulling you off of your feet and dipping you backwards. "Thanks for callin' on me, tootse. What can I do ya for?"

"What just happened?"

"Well," he pulled you back up to your feet and swung you through a few dance steps while he explained, "I haven't really felt like I could ask Lyds to summon me after what happened last time, so I've only been here in SPIRIT, you might say." He chuckled at the pun. "You can only see me because you're a bit strange and unusual, like her. For normal folks to see me, and for me to be physically here, I gotta be summoned - and guess who just summoned their first demon!"

"... I did?"

"You did!" He nearly leapt around you as he continued flinging you about. Where had this man learned to dance? Was the instructor on cocaine?

Flustered by trying to keep up with his quickening dance moves (and, admittedly, by all of the physical contact with your attractive demonic friend), your thoughts went back to the ring burning a hole in your pocket. "Ah, here." He (thankfully) stopped dancing as you pulled the ring unceremoniously from your pocket, thrusting it towards him. "Gotta have the matching set, right?"

Gosh. You were just so smooth. Cool was your middle name. The demon across from you definitely didn't notice your palms sweating, right?

"Ah��� yeah. Yeah I guess so…" His earlier bravado fled from him like a frightened bird. He picked up the ring and fiddled with it for several moments, avoiding eye contact like one look could strike him re-dead.

"Y/N! Beej! C'mon! We're gonna be late!" Lydia shouted from the driveway, pulling you two from your stupor.

"Shit, right. Uh… let's go wrangle some children?" Beetlejuice said, attempting to sound suave and totally unbothered (and failing).

"Yes, let's shall!" You two were going to set a record for the smoothest not-couple in New England.

Lydia, itching to test out her provisional license, insisted on driving the three of you to the school where you would be meeting the other students. Saving you from making any further cool-headed and completely normal conversation, she took the liberty of walking you and Beetlejuice through the rules on the drive. "Beej, I'm going to need you to shapeshift. Can you make yourself look, you know, alive?"

He slapped his cheeks, turning his skin marginally pinker and wiggling his eyebrows at you as if he'd just built the Eiffel Tower in front of your very eyes.

"Can you put in about 1% effort, at least?" Lydia deadpanned.

He huffed and shook himself, emitting a puff of green smoke. The man who emerged looked like your demon friend, but cleaner and a bit… suburban. His hair was a muted brown with emerald green streaks at his temples, the moss and soil that usually clung to every crevice was gone (though the earthy scent remained). He even swapped out his signature striped suit for a casual black button up and dark wash jeans. He looked… well he still looked really damn attractive, especially when he used your staring at his new appearance to give you that cocky grin of his.

"Like what you see, tootse?" He said, running his left hand through his hair. Your eyes snapped to the ring, your ring, on his finger.

"Yeah, life suits you." You smiled sincerely. "Could do without the grave smell, though."

"Hey, that's my natural musk you're talking about. Drives my lovers crazy, if you know what I mean." He leaned towards you, craning his neck to give you a good angle to take a whiff.

You fought the urge to take an exploratory inhale. You were failing. Thankfully, Lydia literally snapped you out of it, before you could embarrass yourself a third time today, by clicking her fingers in agitation. "Let's focus, lovebirds. We're almost there. Y/N, you remember the backstory I gave you?"

"Yup! I moved here one year ago looking for a quiet place to write my book, (and God, do I wish the quiet part were true) and met BJ while I was working on my laptop in the diner on 7th. He told me he'd help me through some dialogue I was stuck on if I took him to dinner. The rest, as they say, is falsified history" At least the reason you moved to New England had been true, though you hadn't exactly found much quiet time for writing in the last few months.

"We snuck out and fucked in the alley behind the diner, right next to that graffiti of those two cartoon cats. It was hella romantic." Beetlejuice slung an arm around you, "you told me right then and there you couldn't live without me or my amazing penis. Of course, I have standards, so I made you wait a few months before I popped the question, but--"

"Beej." Lydia warned.

"What? You didn't give ME a rundown on OUR backstory, so I've gotta improvise."

"I gave you the notes three days ago, it's not my fault you drew dicks all over them, Just let your lovely, responsible spouse do the explaining, ok?" She said, pulling into a parking space in the back of the school. There was a bus waiting there to take them all to the airport, already full of kids. She quickly jogged up to the doors, taking a seat with two kids in the back that you assumed must be her friends. You wasted no time in hauling your luggage inside and addressing the crowd.

"Hi! I'm Mx. Shoggoth, call me Y/N. I'll be your guide--"

"That's my bit!" A disgruntled Beetlejuice complained, pushing you aside. "Hey kids, who's ready to party it up in the Big Easy? Maybe get your voodoo on?"

"We're here to make sure they DON'T get into trouble, BJ."

"Ugh, lame."

"Right. Anyway, this is my husband, Lawrence. You can call him BJ" You gestured to your partner in crime, whose cheeks were tinged with that familiar pink you were used to in his hair. "We're here to make sure y'all don't get mixed up in any voodoo or, you know, die in any fashion."

"Booooo." A teen moaned from the back of the bus. You could hear Lydia chuckling, as well.

"See? You're lame, the kid agrees." Beetlejuice smirked, shoving you aside and taking a seat at the front of the bus. He patted the seat next to him, glancing at you as you finished up your safety spiel.

"... and we'll be meeting your music teacher at the airport, so til then I've been told you should be looking through your sheet music." You ended your speech, taking your seat next to Beetlejuice.

"So professional. Keep that up and I may lose my libido forever." He snickered.

"Yeah well, your sex life isn't any of my concern." You hissed.

"Oh, isn't it? Is that any way to talk to your loving husband?" He grabbed your hand, grazing your knuckles with his lips for good measure. It seemed, once there was an audience, Beetlejuice transformed back into his needy perverted self with no issue.

You, on the other hand, were still easily flustered. Perhaps, you noted as you felt your cheeks practically light on fire and your breath catch in your throat, even more so with an audience. You contemplated jumping through the bus doors just as they closed, sealing you into your fate.

https://insomni-snacc.tumblr.com/post/189284584571/mx-shoggoth-i-presume-pt-3

[virmireisms-a]

When he mentioned her orders, Ashley gave him a stare that was an attempt to very sarcastically tell him that yes... that had been the case. Nevertheless, she knew he was blinded and being emotional about it, rather than being logical. How the hell had this happened? She was supposed to be the emotional one, not him. Usually, it was the other way around. Ashley pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration, taking calming breaths.

"Oh, I know what it looks like. It looks like what it's supposed to look like." She wasn't supposed to be looked at in a good light. It was a cover, a guise, to draw attention away from what she was doing. Frankly, the worse it looked, the better, so long as someone in the upper brass was aware. But Kaidan needed to know just how quickly she'd been swept up in it... and how much her staying distanced was a safety measure.

"Hackett basically did do that. I told you, Kaidan--I was acing the classes. Top marks. So top that Hackett pulled me out in the middle of an exam, told the proctor to leave my grade as is, and made it clear that me writing the exams was a waste of time. I'd have to get perfect marks to even bring up my average by a whole one point. One point, Kaidan. For getting a perfect score on it. I mean, not to say I couldn't have, but..." Of course, that was her casually being an overachiever, but she'd known where she wanted to go for years now. She knew what she wanted to study--and she'd put in the effort before she even got into the courses. She'd planned ahead to ace them.

"I got pulled from them, the rest of my exams cancelled, and dragged to Alliance HQ the day after you ran into Shepard on Horizon. Strict orders--no contact, whatsoever. And it's not safe for me to send messages anywhere except the Citadel, where I can route and spoof the chain and do all kinds of encryption that makes my fucking head hurt every time I set it up." Ashley was not a technical person; it'd taken her a solid hour just to get the message ready to be sent, and she wasn't about to try and send more.

Ashley reached forward, gently grasping his hands in hers in an attempt at a comforting gesture. She hated seeing him as worried as he'd clearly been about her. "I'm sorry, Kaidan. This is just... so much bigger than you seem to understand. I know it doesn't look... good, but that's the point. That's what people need to believe, so that I don't look suspicious doing what I'm really doing. It's not that I don't trust you. It's that I don't trust someone else going through you, using you, to find out what I'm up to."

The vanishing was the problem, one day Kaidan knew her like they’d been friends for decades but then she just vanished into thin air without anything. Not even a damn note and Kaidan doubted she was pulled from her chair with zero warning and rushed out within a minute. All it would have taken was a short good bye or I’ll explain later, that would have been more than enough. Clearly it was too much to expect.

Whenever Kaidan headed out, if he had work or something that he hadn’t predicted he most of the time left some note in their chat, anything from a sorry to a promise to call soon. “So those orders wouldn’t allow you to leave any message anywhere or anyone saying you’ll get to me as soon as you can? Hell, not even Hackett or Anderson?” Hackett doubtfully would have bothered or risked it, Anderson might have given the opportunity but maybe because Ashley hadn’t mentioned anything Anderson might have thought she didn’t want Kaidan to know.

Considering his past, his career, it did hurt not being trusted with even an inch of an explanation. He didn’t need to know what was going on, just why Ashley was gone suddenly. He wasn’t as accepting of a soldier after losing Shepard, hell even after Jenkins. He knew there were things he shouldn’t and couldn’t know but Anderson and Hackett knew what the loss of Shepard meant for the both of them, the whole crew.

When she had to make sure the conversation would just stay between the two of them Kaidan was… insulted, again. As if that wasn’t already obvious. “Is that how little you trust me? Yes, of course it stays between us.” Why wouldn’t it?

As for her S1 designation Kaidan was suprised, happily of course and it was considerate however it did not explain her disappearance. He should have been more happy for her but the way he felt right now he really couldn’t express it properly. As for the encryption it seemed she’d taken it to heart as well yet Kaidan could not see past his initial feelings to understand her, because it didn’t make sense.

“I don’t understand. You make it sound as if Hackett had you dragged bound and gagged from your damn quarters. I know rushed departures just as well as you but that doesn’t mean you just vanish without a trace, without even a simple note or ping in a damn chat. If you texted that you’d be off for a while and can’t talk this wouldn’t have happened. I wouldn’t have been scared to death thinking something bad happened to you.” And with his digging he dug himself a grave because he was looking at some shit assignments, some of which were no doubt meant to keep him far from whatever was going on. They wouldn’t even let him join teams to investigate the colony disappearances.

“Seeing you working with Shepard reincarnate and Cerberus after just disappearing… what do you think that looks like? Or feels like? Hell, Anderson might tell to pipe down but I can tell he doesn’t like whats going on either.”

[narcissusneverknewme]

reblogging bc I didn't remember this at all

drarry fic idea that I will never write because it’s trash

A year after the war ends, Malfoy is elbow deep in restoring the Manor and associated properties. He accidentally acquires a young snake, idk how but he didn’t buy it. Maybe he found it in a shed or better yet, someone left it in his desk. He’s never owned anything that wasn’t a fancy purebred but for some reason he keeps it. It’s familiar green color with a yellow underbelly, it’s scales are sort of rough, and it has a pretty smattering of black across the ridge of it’s back. And it must be sort of magical because it’s too smart and seems to like Draco far more than reptiles generally like people. 

He doesn’t know what gender the snake is but feels like it’s female for some reason. Her calls her Ceryneia. She never bites but she shows irritation in other ways.

Eventually he runs into Harry. There’s been a few more “pranks” like Ceryneia, each more serious than the one before. The last one involved some very dark magic and Auror Potter is dispatched to open an investigation. Draco realizes where he recognized the green of Ceryneia’s scales from: Harry Potter’s stupid eyes.

Partway through the most awkward and frustrating interview of Harry’s career so far, he hears Ceryneia hissing. She’s very rude.

“What’s that then?” Draco hasn’t noticed the hissing and doesn’t know what he’s talking about, so Harry has to ask, “are you aware you’ve got a snake up your sleeve?”

When Draco produces her Harry nearly has a heart attack, “you do know that’s a viper you got wrapped ‘round your arm, right??”

“…Of course I know that.”

“…”

“… ok is she venomous?”

“I have no idea.” pauses to listen as she hisses loudly, “but she is wound up. trust you to get a dangerous pet that manages to be prissier than you.” Harry looks at her amused for a minute than starts talking to her.

Draco’s pissed Harry can talk to her and he can’t, but unexpectedly finds the parseltongue thing sort of… hot? “What does she have to be wound up about?”

“She’s not a fan of mine, apparently. She must be at least a bit magical because she understood when I told you she’s venomous. I think she’d afraid you’ll get rid of her,” he squints as the hissing gets louder, “her insults put every one you’ve ever come up with to absolute shame.” he looks at Draco, dark hair falling into bright eyes, rakish and untidy despite being a ministry employee “she’s weirdly… fond of you.” More indignant hissing. Harry hisses back, almost laughing.

then lots of plot occurs and some great character/ship development. Lots of pining and realizations and even more fighting and snarky dialogue. Then, when they’re on the verge of catching a group trying to off people that were cleared of deatheater charges by the ministry, Harry disappears and Draco has to go looking for him. Ceryneia turns out to have be an illegal cross-breed between a green African bush viper and the descendant of a horned serpent. Draco finds the building Harry’s trapped in and Ceryneia tracks him like a bloodhound. They make out until Ceryn starts complaining that the building is drafty.

Then they like fight back-to-back or something while Ceryn shape-shifts into an 6-ton version of herself, starts a thunderstorm, breathes a paralytic venom into some badguy faces, and generally freaks everyone out. When she runs out of energy she shrinks to her usual size and slowly slithers up to Draco, demanding he pick her up and lay her over his shoulders for a nap. She sleeps through the last 10 minutes of the fighting curled around his throat like a scaly necklace. 

After all the necessary crap at the ministry they get released back into the wild, and go to Harry’s for celebratory drinks with Ron & Hermione. Everything’s going fine (kind of) until a snow-white ferret with clever black eyes and a little pink nose comes running up to Harry, paws clicking on the floor as he runs around Harry’s feet and tries to climb his leg. Harry plays with him a little bit as Draco stares at him. The other two stare at Draco. 

As the ferret skips off chuckling to himself, Harry looks up to see raised eyebrows. He suddenly looks uncomfortable.

“He was just.. in the shop one day,” Harry defends, “it’s not like I went in meaning to get one” Ron and Hermione are snickering in the background.

“What’s his name?”

“…”

“…”

“Thuban.”

“I’m never speaking to any of you again”

it turns out Ceryneia and Thuban actually get on, and seem to be able to communicate surprisingly well. They play tag around the house, the first time they saw the ferret chasing down the snake Draco nearly killed Thuban. Ceryn can shapeshift for a short periods at a time into a goofy-looking ferret with a vivid green coat and black-tipped hairs along her back and feet. They’ll play games and go on little trouble-making adventures trying to destroy things. The upside is that Harry doesn’t speak ferret and can’t carry on his stupid in-jokes with Draco’s pet when she’s running around and rummaging through drawers.

 * * * * *

Thuban is a star in the constellation Draco and the Ceryneian stag/hind (usually hind) was a deer with golden horns that Heracles chased for a year. It may have had it’s own constellation at one point.

I’ve seen a few Draco-with-a-snake stories but never a any ferret fics and now I want 12. also I always loved in the books when people illegally breed experimental mixes of magical creatures, it’s so dangerous and unnecessary.