#i'd rather just get them now instead of worrying about someone else buying them if i take too long

[halfbit]

i am getting started on productivity for the night but haven't figured out yet if i want to write or art first and there's also the tiny part of my brain that just wants to stare at kabru until it is ok to stop staring at kabru

[invisibleraven]

"I will take the couch, it's no problem." for Rulie? (Insert joke about Molinas and couches here.)

Reggie limped up the driveway, sighing in relief as he pushed the doorbell-not much further now.

Honestly, he could have just walked in, Ray had told him he could ages ago. But that was during the day when he came over for band practice, math tutoring, or to play catch with Carlos, not nearing the middle of the night.

The door opened, and there were a pair of monster slippers in Reggie's view. "Hey Reggie, what are you doing here?"

He looked up, giving Julie a weak smile, and she gasped. "Sorry, didn't know where else to go," he joked.

She ushered him in, letting him drop his bag near the door, and pressed an ice pack to his eye, urging his leg up on a chair. "What happened?"

Reggie shrugged, wincing when Julie wiped the blood off his knuckles. "Got in a fight. I won, if it matters."

"It does not," Julie replied with a scowl. "You know I hate fighting."

"I know," he whispered. "But I had to keep someone safe."

Julie kept her mouth shut at that-she loved that Reggie always stood up for the downtrodden, even if she wished he would call the authorities instead of entering the fray himself. "You wanna stay here tonight?"

"If I can." It wasn't the first time he had-this wasn't the first time he had come here after a fight, and the Molinas always insisted he stay since he refused to let them take him to get checked out, or drive him home.

"Papi and Carlos aren't here, they're at a baseball tournament in San Francisco."

"Was wondering why it was so quiet," Reggie stated. Usually when he stayed he set up an air mattress on Carlos' floor, but he would feel weird doing it now when the boy wasn't there. "I will take the couch, it's no problem. You have enough of them."

Julie snorted at that-her parents had gone a little excess when buying furniture for the house, her mami always claiming she wanted enough for all the Petal Pushers to have a place to sleep with room left over.

"You can stay with me if you want," she offered. "I'd rather you not be alone."

Reggie grimaced at that-he was prone to nightmares a lot, especially after nights when he got into fights. Having someone there helped keep them at bay and calm him down easier if he woke up as a result. He always felt so bad when he woke up any of the Molinas, but they had all hugged him tight after each instance, assuring him they would rather be there for him than have a full night's sleep.

"You sure?"

"I won't sleep if I'm worrying about you," Julie admitted.

Reggie melted at that-he knew Julie cared about him, it was never in question. Even if he knew it would never be in the way that he cared for her. But he was never allowed in her room-and here she was offering it up. He nodded, handing over the ice pack, and grabbing his bag. Wondering if normal teenagers also had a change of clothes in their bookbag at all times because it wasn't safe for them to go home.

He was slow getting ready, and hobbling up to Julie's room, knocking lightly before he opened the door. "Hey."

Julie smiled at him-but there was a sadness behind it as she took in his beat up state. He wished he could stop that look from ever crossing her face again, but he had never been known for standing down-even when he should. And if she ever found out who the fights were with-god her face would be stuck like that forever.

He expected her to have her yellow couch done up-it always looked like a cozy nap spot. But there was no blankets or pillows there. Nor was there a mattress blown up on the floor. "So where should I bunk?"

Julie patted the bed next to her. "Right here."

"W-with you?" Reggie swore his voice went up at least five octaves.

"I don't bite," she joked. "It'll be fine, c'mon."

Reggie eased himself into the bed, though he felt tense and stiff as he did, conscious of how small the space felt, of how close Julie was-he could smell her perfume, some floral scent that he could never place, he could hear her breathing-softly, like she was already drifting off.

He'd wait until she was asleep, and then he'd sneak over to the couch, that's what he'd do. He could bring his pillow and the throw off the bottom of the bed. Sure he'd have to curl up a little, but there was no way in hell he'd be able to sleep in the bed with Julie.

Only-maybe he was thinking too loud, maybe Julie just knew him, or maybe she was asleep and didn't realize, but she threw an arm around him, essentially trapping him on the bed.

Fuck, what did he do now?

He looked down, seeing her sweet face nestled half on her pillow and half on him, her wild curls flowing all around her head like a halo.

"Sleep Reg," she slurred, and even her sleepy voice was adorable.

Reggie had to smile as she started to give a little snuffly snore-more a whistle than anything, and let himself relax, just a little. She would move eventually, no sense being uncomfortable until then right?

Yet somehow, he felt his eyes grow heavy, the sound of Julie's breathing and the comfort she exuded lulling him into slumber. And eventually he surrendered into sleep.

But a part of he mourned that he could never stay over here again-because he would always want to sleep here, with Julie in his arms, and he never would be allowed this privilege again.

Especially when he woke up, with Julie in his arms and Tia Victoria staring down at them, looking rather unimpressed.

[templeofshame]

did you ever get around to fully finishing stranger things? what did you think of the ending? love hearing your Thots and Onions lol

To be honest my friend and I are waiting on the second half of the s4 finale until s5 is out.  Yeah, that's weird, but I know most of what happens and it's mostly a bumner, so we haven't felt motivated to finish after she fell asleep mid-ep, and we got into Yellowjackets instead.

I do still have opinions though...

like I think Mike sucks this season and I don't buy him and El this season; they were so cute in the beginning but now they're all performative, lies and superheroes and I'm not sure he even sees her as a person, it's Very Important that El has people who care about her as a person and not as a magical deus ex machina. I do know he's gonna say he loves her like 6 times, I'm sure he believes it, I don't buy it.

I also feel like this season has a plot about trauma/survivor's guilt (via vecna/victims) and abuse (via el and a bit max) and I'm not sure very thoughtful about what it's saying about them. Forcing El to go work with her abuser, Max grieving hers, the relationship between Max and Nancy and El and others in terms of survivor's guilt... these are super complex interesting things that get barely touched on. And with Chrissy's apparent trauma seeming relatively mundane compared to what literally every major character has been through (and I forget what Patrick's is, is his name Patrick?), vecna's choices seem kinda weak. Maybe he says something in the second half but I'd rather them have all been dealing with survivor's guilt specifically.

I felt like the guitar scene was anticlimactic and weird for how much buildup eddie the guitarist had, and the plan seemed kinda bad? I guess it's harder for me to say how things should work though because the rules of the Upside Down have substantially changed since s1, like in this Upside Down Will and Barb could've just hid in someone's house with barely any tentacles, there seem to be lots of safe places.

What else... I think Jason was more worried about people thinking Chrissy was cheating on him than Chrissy's death. I think the jock death mob has vibes of that hyena episode of Buffy, and overall I think we could have a lot less of them (I like Lucas being caught in the middle but otherwise they're uninteresting). I wish Eddie was a little less musical theatre in that first scene, it just felt like he was in a totally different show than anyone else (possibly Rent, or Glee). The issues for Nancy & Jonathan feel very contrived and the show trying to throw Steve at Nancy is just annoying. There was no logical reason for her to date him twice, let again another time. Also could've done with less Hopper torture porn, like we get that it sucks. Similarly with the bullying, it's so over the top that it took me out of things rather than really hitting me. I think I've posted already about how the characterization of Robin changed so much and while she has great lines, it doesn't feel like her (and like is it because we know she's a lesbian now that she can't be snarky coolgirl anymore and has to be dorky mess?).

The positives! Love Argyle. The scenes with Will & Mike and Will & Jonathan are lovely heartstring pulls, so well done. (Will deserves better than Mike, but he's young and stupid so). I don't overall love how separate everyone is this season but for that setup, love the whole pizza freezer thing. I love Murray, I love Joyce&Hopper (even though irl I would 100% tell her not to touch a man with that much assault history with a 10-ft pole). Lucas finally gets material to work with and his acting has gotten so good! Running Up That Hill is obviously a great song. I am biased by fic but after that initial scene, I like Eddie and his face. I love the humor.

I'm probably forgetting a lot! I'm sure I'll be bummed about how only Dustin and Wayne seem to care about Eddie's death, and how much of the season was about protecting him just to have him die anyway. I'm sure I'll be annoyed they don't kill vecna. I'm sure I'll be worried about Max.

[borderlinereminders]

hey i could use some advice if its okay (also sorry if this is vaguely venty i am, very upset right now) i'm having a hard time regulating my emotions regarding my friend of 5 years, she's a good friend and we've been through a lot of ups and downs but nothing that we couldnt eventually figure out a way through lately. like the past year or so i've felt like i mean nothing to her and like i'm just a second option to pass the time. it first became a problem when her boyfriend who was abusive and her got into an argument over me (he thought me playing minecraft with her was abusive /srs) and she literally tried breaking off 5 years of friendship, not cause he asked but to appease him just in case it'd make him happy. obviously it didnt end up working but it hurt and it still really does hurt after that, while with her bf she started fawning over a girl and thats all she'd talk to me about sometimes, every day its either the girl or her bf. either its venting or gushing either way day in day out i was there to listen and it felt like i just straight up didnt matter anymore cause it was always about them and how she desperately wanted to be talking to them as if i wasnt even there or something then finally she broke up w her bf, and i thought woo no more of that but she immedietely got with another guy who even says he doesnt wanna date her, only wants to use her body and rarely if ever texts her back, yet recently she threw $50 just to try and get him to reply all the while constantly yapping at me how much she'd rather talk to him. every few months its someone new and i become obsolete, she'd rather talk to them and cancels plans just to talk to them instead of me. i've started trying harder in our friendship, always letting her vent always accepting hang out invites always replying to texts always encouraging her interests. outright buying her things to try and help fill the void she might be trying to fill. but nothing works she's always more excited for someone else. not that i have to be a priority of course i understand that but it feels like i've never been a priority, i'm not even 2nd or 3rd place and i feel awful and it hurts. plus another thing she never listens to me despite saying that i do seem to know whats best, i try to be there for her and give her advice when she asks then she turns around and takes what she admits is worse advice from one of the other people she fawns over just because she likes them better. i don't think i matter anymore (or ever did) and i don't know how to regulate or deal with that, i don't wanna accidently lash out at her but i don't know how to get past this. i've been ignoring her more frequently (i know its not good but i cant bring myself to text her i know i'll scream if i do) and she doesnt even really initate conversation, if she does its about one of the people as usual. which just makes it hurt more and make me wanna scream and lash out even more. i'm probably overreacting so if you have any advice i'd really appreciate it, thank you for your time

Hi anon,

I'm sure my advice isn't what you want to hear, but my advice is that she is not a friend for you and you should end the friendship. Of course, you can always try communicating to her and seeing if she changes her behaviour, but I also worry that she'll tell you what you want to hear and continue this anyways. It's not to say maybe she genuinely is open to changing, but it sounds like she isn't in a place to be a good friend to you.

You deserve to have a friend who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Being ready to dismiss you like she has isn't a sign of a good friend. It also sounds like she takes you for granted.

You matter and you deserve friends who value you. You are not overreacting at all.

(Also, while it's reality that we tend to "prefer talking to someone" over someone else at times, or stuff like that, that isn't okay to say to you. )

You say she is a "good friend" and maybe she is in some ways. But from this ask, it feels to me that she isn't in a place herself where she is capable of giving you the friendship you deserve. It sounds like she has a lot of personal work and healing to do. When I say my advice is to "end the friendship" it doesn't mean it has to be permanent. But you deserve to be treated better, and if you aren't in a place to "end" it, you can definitely take a break from it.

If you aren't in a place to do that, then please start thinking about your boundaries and putting up boundaries with her. You deserve to be treated better.

Disclaimer: Please know that my advice comes from a place of what I would personally do. I am not a professional by any means, and cannot possible understand the nuance of the situation. You know this person better and your relationship much better than I could ever gauge from an ask. Please always be aware of patterns of behaviour, especially after healthy communication, because you deserve to be treated well. If a relationship/friendship isn’t for you, it’s entirely valid to end it even if it’s just a matter of being incompatible.

[catxsnow]

ADMIT IT D.W.

Summary: You crush on the great Boy Wonder was a little more than obvious

Warning: Older!Damian fLiRtInG

A/N: Damian is like early twenty’s here. 

GIF not mine

Word count: 2k

It was a stormy night in Gotham. Rain poured from the dark sky and thunder boomed continuously. It seemed like any other night in that dreaded city. Day in day out, nothing but clouds and overcast. It was like the sun never shined in that city. If this was God's cruel punishment against the city, then you couldn't blame him.

Between the crime rates, the horrible citizens, and the corrupt police force, Gotham was no sanctuary. It was a city made for sinners, thugs, and those unfortunate few who had no chance of escape. You hated Gotham, you hated it enough to try and fight against the dreaded nights and sorrow days.

You worked by yourself, but it wasn't a surprise if part of Batman and crew showed up to your fight scene. They allowed you to continue your fight against crime as a vigilante, but they didn't dare trust you enough to take down important missions on your own. Sometimes you appreciated their help, most times, it was a nuisance.

It had been only a few years since you started this gig. Slowly at first, taking down petty thefts and drunk assholes. Then you started reaching the bigger leagues, the crime lords and mobsters. Soon, you became popular enough to be within Batman's radar.

The night was quiet, despite the loud thunder that rolled across the clouds. You saw the outline of Robin standing along the building edge. His cape flowed in the wind and his shadow cast upon the city as lightening struck behind him. You scoffed to yourself, but nonetheless flipped over to him.

"Dramatic much?" you asked. Judging by Robin's build, his voice, even the way he moved, you guessed that he had to have been around your age. At least, he was the closet out of all the others. You were nearing twenty-one, just shy of being able to buy your own drinks.

"Quiet out there tonight, huh?" You asked as he didn't reply. Robin seemed to tolerate you, nothing more, nothing less. He spoke very few extra words than needed and always had a snarky tone. You couldn't tell if that was because of his facade, or if that was who he really was.

Even so, after working with him several times, you couldn't help but be attracted to him. His voice, his actions, the way that he beat the ever living hell out of douchebags. Robin finally turned to face you, jumping down from the small ledge that he once stood.

"It is," he agreed. Truth be told, around you - it was an act. He would never admit that he enjoyed time with you. "That doesn't mean that you need to come bother me."

"But you're my favourite person to bother," you approached him. Damian stood still as you dragged your gloved hands up his chest and rested them at the bottom of his neck. "Why can't you just admit that you like my little visits."

"Because then I'd be falling into Batman's footsteps with Catwoman," Robin scoffed. He would never allow himself to admit that he did enjoy seeing you on the rooftops. Most times when he was on his own, he wished that you would show up to see him, even if it was just a coincidence.

His eyes would linger on you, the suit you wore was tight around every perfect curve of your body. Even the way you swaggered towards him like you knew god damn well that any man watching was eyeing you up. Damian wanted his eyes to be the only ones on you.

"Ugh," You rolled your eyes. You had a few run ins with Catwoman, none of them ending well. "I'm nothing like her. She's a thief, I fight for the good guys. I'm on your side, it's okay to admit it." You took another step closer to him so your chests touched.

You had a bad habit of shamelessly flirting with him. Robin was well aware of your attempts to flirt with him - and if he was any good at it he would have flirted back. Instead, his words came out cryptic. You often were confused by what he was feeling - his body was relaxed near you but his words said otherwise.

"Come on, Robin. Just one little word, just admit it," a Cheshire grin covered your cheeks as you stood on your toes. Your lips just barely brushed against his before pulling away. Fuck, did Damian want to pull you in, to kiss your properly after all these months of teasing him like this. You never gave him the satisfaction of what your lips truly felt like.

Damian's shoulders stiffened. He knew very little about you. Hell, he didn't even know your name, where you came from, how old you were. Yet, without knowing anything about you, he still found himself wanting to agree to your pleas. To admit that he enjoyed your company was to admit that he liked you. How could he like someone without even knowing them?

"I'll get you one day," you promised him. Damian watched as you backed away from him. The sway in your hips was entrancing and he couldn't look away. You stood up on the ledge that he was previously at. With a wink in his direction, you flipped off and soared down. Damian's breath caught in his throat, worried that you were going to fall to your death.

Not even a second later, you came flying back up again. A grappling gun was secured in the palm of your hand and your laugh echoed through the stormy night. Damian furrowed his eyebrows and looked down at his belt. You had stolen the grappling gun from him. Had you just used him to get the tech? Or did you genuinely want him to admit that he liked your visits? He wouldn't know.

"Fuck." Me.

><

Damian wished that he could get you out of his head. As Robin, as himself, he couldn't do it. He spent hours at night thinking about you, who you really were. He wanted to meet you, the real you. He tried finding out who you were, but you were careful - careful enough for Batman to have not figured it out yet.

He wanted to see you again. At night, he searched for you rather than searching for crime. He needed to see you again. This ache in his chest was driving him crazy and seeing you again was the only thing that was going to fix it. Damian was only frustrated by these feelings, he didn't want them to affect his everyday life but here he was.

It was over a week since your last encounter. He hadn't seen you, or any signs that you were even out on the streets. Damian was getting worried about you, he always saw that you were protecting the city at least once every few days. It was far too long to have no signs at all.

Damian overlooked the city from one of the tallest buildings in Gotham. It was stormy out again, this time the rain pounded against his skin, soaking him to the bone. He was cold, miserable, and was ready to call it a night and head back home.

"The Boy Wonder," a voice from behind him spoke. Damian nearly sighed in relief at the sound of your voice. He spun around to see you leaning against one of the arches. The grappling hook that you stole from him was tightly secured around your waist. He looked down at it. "Sorry, I don't exactly have the money to get one of my own, figured you'd have lots."

You weren't wrong. There were tons in the batcave, he just wasn't particularly excited to tell Batman that you had taken one from him. You strolled up to him, wiping some of the water that drenched your face off. It was useless, the rain wouldn't stop.

Damian noticed the stitches that laced up your cheek. His hand went up to your face, skimming just below where you had been cut. "What happened?" He asked, concern in his voice.

"Didn't realize you cared, Robin," you joked. As he moved his hand once more, you winced in pain. He went to lower his hand but you placed yours on top, forcing him to stay there. "Got myself into some trouble right after I saw you last. Thought I could take them, pulled out of pair of brass and well..." you trailed off. "It was nothing bad. Just a cut and some bruises. Had to stay home for a few days."

So, he was right to be worried. You were fine now, but what about the next time? What about the time that you aren't going to make it out with such ease?

"I'm fine, now," You told him, as if you were reading his thoughts. The brief look of sadness in your eyes was instantly replaced. "Better now that I'm with you.” You tried to reach for another one of his weapons but Damian was too quick. He latched onto your hand before you could steal something else of his.

You tried to interlock your fingers but, Damian pulled away and he once again went back to his rigid form. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were up here looking for me." You gestured to the high skyline and then looked back at Robin.

"I was looking to see if there was any criminal activity," Robin corrected. Lies. He was looking for you, but he wasn't going to tell you that. "But I am glad to see you aren't dead."

"Why because you'd miss me?" You teased. You jumped around him, flipping here and there to get some of the pent up energy released. Being forced to stay at home had you going stir crazy. However, with the rain making the roof top more slippery, you had lost you footing and nearly fell right off the edge. Robin had grabbed your wrist just in time, pulling you with so much force that you landed into his chest.

"Because you owe me," he referred to the grappling hook. He didn't mind you keeping it. "Twice, now."

"Mhmm, I could make up for it, right now. Up here, on this rooftop, with no one around," you suggested. The only reason that he knew you weren't completely serious was the joking tone in your voice. Yet, he swore he could feel your finger traceing his chest plate right on his skin. His thigh trapped between your legs, and you were nearly begging for attention. "Just the two of us."

He was tempted. God, was he tempted. Damian didn't care if anyone would show up, he would gladly accept your offer. But he couldn't, he knew he couldn't. So, as much as he wanted to, he denied. You pouted at him, which had made it even harder for him to decline your idea.

"Come work with Batman and I," Robin suddenly countered your offer. "The tech, the protection, at least someone will have your back so this doesn't happen again."

You pulled away from him. Batman had already offered to become a part of his team. You were sure he had a stickler for having young kids under his wing but you weren't eager to become one of them. It was easier to work alone, at least that way you would never have guilt of messing up with them.

"It was nice seeing you again, Robin," you had done the exact same thing as last time, flipping off the roof to dive into the streets. This time however, as you left, the playful smile wasn't on your face, but a frown. Were you really that offended to be working with a team? Damian was sure that you would have jumped on the opportunity to be able to see him more.

Damian frustratingly sighed. He ran a hand through his soaked hair. What was it going to take for you to join him? He just wanted you safe. Damian would never be able to forgive himself if you died while trying to save the city because you couldn't agree to work with him.

><

Avoiding Robin was easier said than done. Firstly, you didn't want to avoid him, you wanted to be there with him, teasing him like you always did. Secondly, between him, the Bats, and the others, it was near impossible to get anything done without being spotted by them. Yet, you managed.

Not being able to see Robin made you realize how much you actually liked him. It wasn't just playfully flirting, but a hope that he would in fact be able to recognize your affection. You wanted to know who he was, as a real person not as some side kick of Batman. Whoever was hiding under the mask was your number one goal to find out.

Maybe the only way to do that, was to join him.

You didn't want the pressure that being on a team came with. People relying on you? No, that wasn't something you were ready for. But maybe, with their help you could be ready for it. Maybe if they were so adamant on you joining, then they needed you just as much as you needed them.

So, instead of avoiding Robin, you searched for him. It had been weeks since you had seen him last. The gap in your visits was hard on you. It made you wonder how you could care for someone who you didn't even know. Robin thought the same thing, you just weren't aware of it.

"You must be getting tired of this rain too," You nearly jumped at the voice from behind you. Robin was leaning against a pillar with his arms crossed over his chest and a satisfied look on his face. Finally, he found you. He just wasn't aware that you let him find you, you wanted to see him again.

"By this point. I'm used to it," You answered. "Besides, getting to see you all wet like this? Mmm, that's a treat all in itself." You dragged a hand through his wet hair, having to stand up on your toes to even be able to reach. God, did you love when he got flustered to the point of not knowing what to say.

"It's been a while," Robin stated. You shrugged at him, pretending that the time that you spent away didn't bother you. Of course it did, but seeing the disappointed look on his face that you didn't seem to care? That was worth it.

"I was busy," You nonchalantly informed, waking away from him and back into the rain. It was true, you did have several busy nights but for the most part, things had been quiet, boring even. "Who do you think put Two-Face back in Arkham?"

"I figured as much," Robin stalked back over to you. He stood right by your side, brushing against your suit.

"You miss me?" You smirked up at him. He should have expected that question, you asked it nearly every time. However, the tone in your voice, the way that you were holding yourself up, it caught him off guard. You were genuinely wanting him to say that he had missed you - and after all these times that he denied it - he admitted it.

"Yes."

You looked up at him in shock. Robin always found a way to change the subject or come up with some sort of quip that ensured you that he didn't miss you when you disappeared. You could always tell that he was lying when he denied it but hearing him finally admit that he missed you meant everything to you.

Damian finally looked down to you. He didn't mean to blurt out the answer but he couldn't hide the truth any longer. Seeing you was always the highlight of his night, he couldn't deny that any longer.

"I want to see you, as much as I can," Damian continued on. He was surprising himself by these words, it was rare that he spoke of his emotions. "These little visits, they're not enough for me any longer. I need to see you, to fill this void in my chest when I'm not with you. Come work with me, please."

You were nearly as shocked by his words as he was. Robin never uttered a word of how he cared for you, how he craved to see you. Hearing him say this was everything that you ever wanted to hear. You cared for him, but could never accept that he cared for you back, he never proved it to you that he did.

After a moment of silence, Damian began to panic. Did you not feel the same way? Was the flirting just a trick? A game? No, it couldn't be.

Damian watched as you reached up towards your face, peeling of that mask that covered half your face. You met his eyes when your face was bare, revealing who you were and what you truly looked like. Damian was in awe of your beauty, everything about you was just as perfect as he had imagined.

"(Y/N)," You told him. "(Y/N) (L/N). I proved to you that I care enough about you, now prove to me that you care enough for me to join." You didn't expect him to do the same action as you - maybe one day but not yet. However, you also didn't expect what he actually did, either.

Damian kissed you.

His hands cupped the sides of your face, wishing that he didn't have these gloves on so he could feel you. Rain drops raced down your skin, between your lips that parted when needing a breath of air. Bodies pressed so close together that nothing could have broken you apart.

He kissed you with all this pent up desire that you constantly left him with. The worry that he had for you when you were on the streets by yourself. The neediness that he felt every time he was near you. He kissed you like he had cared about you for years.

Damian pulled away from you, his fingers still resting your facing. He rested his forehead against yours. This small taste of getting what he wanted didn't come close to fulfilling his desires. He needed you, constantly.

"I'll join you, Boy Wonder," you spoke barely above a whisper. "Just admit that you've been wanting to do that since the day we met because I've wanted you to do that since then."

"I admit it."

[silverinia]

I came for Baranski, I stayed for Baranski - a quick Christmas On The Square review someone* actually asked for

(* thank you, anon)

Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional of any sorts when it comes to film and I'm not a journalist either. The last movie review I've written was probably for a school assignment in eighth grade. I didn't do research for this and I've watched the movie exactly one time, so this is just for fun.

It was a Sunday, Sunday the 22nd of November, nearing the end of the train wreck of a year that is 2020. I woke up on an air mattress around seven am, my head aching, my throat itching with pyrosis and light nausea, it was still dark outside behind the closed blinds in front of the windows, when I slowly realised where I was, one of my best girlfriends sleeping next to me in her bed. I had crashed at her place after a warm, fuzzy evening of mulled wine, tacky Christmas movies I would never watch alone (Christmas Chronicles and Holiday Calendar, which I quite honestly didn't enjoy at all, but the company made it fun anyway), doing our nails, wearing the fun kind of face masks for a change and smoking too many cigarettes, as the soft pain in my head informed me right now. She woke up an hour later and the morning went by with coffee and reheated pizza for breakfast, when we decided to watch another movie and I realised that it was THE Sunday I'd been waiting for through Zoom interviews and Dolly Parton twitter memes and the infamous wig gate that will be briefly discussed in the following, and so we clicked on the small icon in the Netflix menu that said "Christmas On The Square".

And oh boy, was it a ride.

To start off, I should mention that I have a hard time watching most modern day American Christmas movies, as I noticed quite vividly again when I watched the two aforementioned Netflix productions last night. The character development is always foreseeable to say the least, the plot lines are plain clichés hunting each other like they're the kids in The Hunger Games, and the writing is generally so bad that you can join the actors in reciting the entire scripts on your first watch. I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas once a year while I'm gift wrapping and pause every fifteen minutes to shamelessly stare at forties Christine Baranski (I think we should all turn away from the birth of Jesus and instead count our years based on Christine Baranski's date of birth) in flamboyant nightgowns and short Christmas themed dresses, looking so fabulous that every interpreter of Santa Baby ever could only dream of it, I watch Love Actually at least five times a year to lust over Hugh Grant, cry with Emma Thompson and miss Alan Rickman, I enjoy Bridget Jones, which I would definitely consider a Christmas movie, and that's it. That's my yearly Christmas time entertainment routine and I can barely tolerate anything beyond, because I'm still traumatised from the time when I was around five years old and on a holiday family visit where had to sit through National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the dumbest movie I have ever seen (my apologies if you like it but also, who hurt you?), with my cousins. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And it scarred me for life.

But this was a Christine Baranski movie, I knew she was going to play the lead and so I was pretty much as excited about this as I could. And the fact that Dolly Parton wrote the whole thing didn't hurt either. As I said earlier to my friend I was watching it with, I have the pop cultural taste of a fifty year old gay man, a quality I am most proud of, and this simply ticked off all my boxes.

I expected something similar to a Mamma Mia experience that wouldn't cause me to crave packing my bags, give Covid the finger and run off to Greece. Light-hearted entertainment, easy to stomach, uplifting music and so little plot that the simplicity feels like a creative choice. That's what my pained, hungover brain knew it could cope with and that's not what I got.

The movie started and I was immediately in the zone. I saw Christine Baranski's name in the front credits (an experience that never fails to make me scream "Yass Queen" at the screen, regardless of where I am and who I'm with, as if I'm the sobering result that pops out of the package when you order Jonathan Van Ness on Wish), the setting was wonderfully corny (I grew up watching Gilmore Girls once a week, so give me warm fairy lights and a gazebo and I'm perfectly happy) and as my friend wondered whether Dolly Parton, in her exaggerated homeless attire that didn't make her look shabby at all, was green-screened into the setting because she stood out so much (which she was because the background dancers were dancing in slow motion, but to be fair, we were probably still a little too drunk to notice that from the start) and I told her I thought that it was just the natural glow someone who's Dolly Parton simply carries with them everywhere they go, I was happy. This was the movie I was prepared for. A movie in which the most problematic thing would be stereotypical characters and the wig they hid Christine's real, flawlessly handmade by God herself hair under.

And then, around five minutes in, Christine Baranski's childhood love interest was revealed as she pressed her perfect pointy nose against the window of his shop and sang about her unrequited love.

And suddenly, things started taking turns at a pace I was still way too sleep-deprived for.

Suddenly, in the middle of my general amazement at seeing Christine Baranski do literally anything and laughing loud at her impeccable comedic delivery, there were unresolved daddy issues, hanging prominently at the wall in her marvellously designed house (she literally says "Daddy" at one point and I couldn't help but think that only someone with her vocal skills could keep from making it sound cringe-worthily kinky). One moment, I was clutching my chest above my heart while she was bonding with little bartender Violet and munching on pretzels while downing some whiskey in that elegant way only Christine Baranski can bond with ten year olds who had it rough, eat pretzels and down whiskey, and the next she felt responsible for said girl's mother's death (which she kinda was too, but I'm not the boss of her). I was still busy making fun of how the very annoyingly, but when you're snacking on pizza with extra cheese at nine in the morning also highly funny, slow talking pastor's name was Christian, and suddenly there was a cancer scare.

It was a lot, a hasty sprint from major issue to major issue with a hint of comedic relief every now and then, and it didn't get any less until the very, rather poorly resolved, end.

The entire, constant up and down was followed by the movie's peak of suspense, the near death of precious Violet, something I couldn't even get too invested in because I was still so busy worrying about Christine's MRT results (I was truly fucking worried), not to mention that I hadn't even started to really process the sudden revelation of the love child and how it had affected her character's actions until this point. Was her constant tendency of pushing people away, as we've seen most clearly with her angel in training assistant who's name I cannot recall right now, the result of her broken trust in her father who practically ripped her son away from her after she had just given birth to him? Was it a result of her never getting the closure she needed with plaid flannel wearing Carl she was clearly still in love with? Maybe both? And what of the many issues was it that made her so incredibly shaken up when Violet blamed herself for her mother's death? Was it 'just' due to the fact that the closed pharmacy was on her, or was there more to it? Was it because she had grown up without a mother herself? Or did I miss a major piece of information because I was momentarily distracted, dumbfoundedly staring at Christine's very blue eyes? No time to ponder on that, little Silverinia, because here comes unconscious Violet in an ambulance, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!

I'm not going to go in depth about what plot lines I thought were especially carelessly handled and why, real standouts were the sudden forgiveness towards her father who had still acted like a shitty asshole even though he might have had his reasons, because giving the baby up for adoption just wasn't his choice to make, and the fact that I kind of didn't buy how quickly Regina managed to forgive herself, especially for Violet's mother's passing, considering how deeply her tall, slim, dare I say angelic and entrancing figure was buried beneath the weight of all her issues. It felt rushed and incomplete, but that's as detailed as it gets because my major point is something else.

I think this movie made the great mistake of trying to be more than your average, flat, happy ending Christmas movie. I think no one involved thought it was possible to make it a big hit if the only real plot would've been great Dolly Parton music, fun ensemble dance choreographies, Christine Baranski's outstanding acting skills, fun settings and costumes and a redemption arch with as little plot as it could possibly take to make Christine likable to those who aren't already lost forever in the rabbit hole of being obsessed with her (poor fuckers, can't relate). They didn't notice that with the legends that were involved, they could've easily gone the Mamma Mia way. And I think that's why they tried to include heavier plot lines than most creators would've chosen, experiencing loss at an early age, struggling to find closure, dealing with sickness, teenage pregnancy, parents forcing their choices on their children when they affect their childrens' lives first, adoption, and the fear of losing your kid.

It was a lot and I don't want to say that it didn't work because my friend was crying, like, pretty hard and I questioned my entire existence all through the movie in not the worst way, and I did enjoy it a lot while watching. The "grief is love with nowhere to go" line was a real standout, for example, where the attempt of complexity DID work. It positively gave me fleabag season two, "I don't know what to do with it now, with all the love I have for her." - "I'll take it. It sounds lovely. You have to give it to me." feels, and that's about the biggest praise I can come up with. BUT (and this is written in capital letters because it's the big but) I'm also totally convinced that I wouldn't have enjoyed it if they hadn't cast Christine Baranski for the lead role. In my humble opinion, the hasty, not really at all resolved plot of this movie only worked because Christine Baranski is just a fantastic actress. She quirks a mocking eyebrow and you laugh. She parts her perfectly painted red lips and you immediately hang on them because you don't want to miss a single breath she, a literal goddess, graces us mere peasants of people with. She smiles and you're happy. She laughs and even while she's still laughing, you can't wait to hear her do it again. Her eyes fill with tears and you feel goosebumps on your arms, her voice slightly trembles, a breath hitches in her throat and you feel your heart shattering to pieces. As Chuck Lorre once said, this woman could read you the phone book and you would end up laughing tears because she just gets the job done. She knows what she's doing, she's an absolute pro in her game, and it doesn't matter, not even a little bit, what she's working with, because the work she eventually delivers with it is always at a minimum of 200%. I forced my friend to watch this movie with me because I adore this woman, and I felt for this movie because I felt for her. It wasn't the plot that sadly brutally overestimated itself, it wasn't the songs that I obviously enjoyed, nor the comedic elements that truly made me laugh a lot, it was all her. I came for Baranski, and I stayed for Baranski. This woman can do anything. She can even look graceful in a terrible wig job.

(side note / unpopular opinion: I actually didn't think the wig was all too bad. It wasn't good, actually far from good, but for me, nothing can match the awful wig game of Mamma Mia 2. I loathed that wig, I absolutely cannot stand it. So this didn't feel all that terrible. It definitely wasn't the most problematic part about the movie.)

I enjoyed watching this. It was a nice distraction from all the bullshit in the world. Watching it today was the first thing this year that actually brought me something close to excitement about the holiday season, even though everything will be very different and probably not quite as jolly this year. But it just gave me good vibes and as someone who did not watch this as a film reviewer, that's the biggest part of what leads me to enjoy a movie.

Will I watch this again? For sure. Will I enjoy it when I'm not hungover, having freshly done nails and munching delicious pizza for breakfast? Probably not as much, but it'll still have Christine Baranski in it. Would I recommend watching this? If you share my obsession with Queen B, one hundo. If you don't, probably not.

[growingupautie]

StoryTime: All That and a Bag of...

At my previous job, I and a coworker or two would often grab lunch at a local restaurant. Usually, it was just me and one other guy thought. Sometimes we'd go to the pizza place. Sometimes the Chinese place down the street. There were a few good spots but we went to them all the time so they got pretty boring. Isn't it funny how when you finally have access to almost any food, you end up feeling like nothing sounds good and taking it for granted?

One day, most of my coworkers were busy, and my go-to guy told me he had errands to run. I drove by the Chinese place we usually go to and parked my car. But as I got out, I saw the Subway next to it and decided that since nobody ever wanted to go there, I would do that instead. I closed my car door and felt someone watching behind me. It felt like they were ready to make their move and ambush me with something but there was a distinct lack of a feeling of ill-intent.

I started to rush off toward the entrance as I hear from the watcher behind me "HEY! Hey man! Can you uh...I don't get paid for two weeks and I just started a new job...Can you buy me lunch and I'll pay you back?" I look back and see an older man in his late 30's sitting in his beat-up work truck wearing a neon work vest frantically awaiting my answer. "Uh..." I said, not really wanting to interact with anyone that day but feeling like I was long overdue for a good deed. "Sure, man...Come on."

He said "Are you serious?! Thank you. Oh, God. Thank you. God Bless you." and he leaped out of his truck, and threw the door shut running toward me. He held the door open for me and said "I'll pay you back. I promise." When I do things like this for people, I don't really want to be paid back and as I told him, it "wouldn't be much of a good deed if I did." He thanked me with an oddly frantic nature and seemed to almost get teary-eyed.

I thought to myself about how rare kindness must be to him if that small amount elicited that response. Then I realized that it most certainly was to me, and that's about the same amount of kindness it would take to move me as well. "I haven't eaten in a few days..." he told me. "I just started this new job, and I'm in a bad way until I get paid." He added. As his words hit me I said with a somewhat heavier heart. "Well, you're eating today, man. Get whatever you want.

The person in line ahead of us turned around and mean mugged him, and looked at me as if to say I was being scammed. That the guy was just in it for a free meal. Honestly, He could've been right in that moment for all I knew. But the truth is, I didn't care. I'd rather it be a free food scam than any other type because it's still a good deed done in the name of goodness.

But at the same time, I felt like this guy was either legitimate or extremely exaggerating his actions to seem that way. Either way, I didn't care. And because of that, the joke would be on him if he was lying. He ordered a 6-inch sandwich, and I told him to make it a foot long if he hadn't eaten in so long. He almost broke down again but snapped out of it, and changed his order.

He added chips and a drink to it, but only after I insisted. Further taking away the idea that this was all a scam to get free food. He picked his sandwich and drink up and looked like he was ready to walk out. "Do you mind if I eat with you?" he asked me. I was taken aback. Most of the time when I had bought someone lunch over the years they either doubled their order, left as soon as it was ready, or both. "Uh...Yeah, man. Sure." I told him.

We went and sat down and he thanked me again frantically for the food. Then he pulled the sandwich out and started literally scarfing it down in front of me. And I mean scarfing. And for a brief moment, I thought to myself "Who eats like that?" until it clicked in my head that only someone who hadn't eaten a meal in a long time would... I immediately felt horrible. "How long has it been?" I asked. "Um...Been a few days. Maybe Saturday?" It was Tuesday.

"I'm sorry, my brother. I didn't realize how bad it was." I told him as tears burned in my eyes burning my nostrils as I was overcome with emotion. He told me he understood, and I did more than anyone else did for him. I explained my stance on doing the good for the good and he told me again he would pay me back. "No, my brother. I never expected you to. That's the whole point. His eyes welled up more than they had before as he kept eating.

"My wife left us..." he said. "us?" I asked seeing what I was assuming was his wedding ring on his necklace and worrying about his answer. "Yeah, me and my little boy. She left us, and went to Louisiana." (I believe) he told me. "She took almost everything with her leaving me broke, and without any way to provide for my son." He took another bite and continued. "I just started this job, and it pays good. But I ain't gonna see a dime until next Thursday."

I asked him when the last time his son ate was, and he told me he had been going without so he could feed his son. I believe he said he could only afford ramen and hot dog weiners and was making his son that. I had always wanted to be a dad and I didn't really have the best examples growing up. At that time I was questioning ability to be a father.

Kandace and I were either planning to or trying to conceive, at the time and all I could think was being in a situation where I couldn't afford to take care of my son and what that must be doing to him. Much less foregoing food for himself to do what little he could. Thinking about it now as a father makes the emotion so much worse but at that moment it nearly broke my heart.

He didn't ask me for money. He told me he was going to find a way to get some groceries. That he didn't have anything to sell, but he would find a way. He nearly finished his entire sandwich by that time, and I asked why he was eating so quickly. He told me he had spent 30 minutes of his 60-minute lunch break asking people outside to buy him lunch so he didn't black out at work with no food.

In that moment...I had had enough. I wasn't going to put up with a situation like that that I had the power to change. I packed the rest of my sandwich up to take to work and said. "My brother. I know you don't have much time left but can you follow me to the Grocery store real quick?" He said "uh..sure" unsure of why I would ask him that. He followed me over to the ATM directly inside and upon realizing where we were said "I...No, my brother. You've already helped me enough."

"My brother..." I told him. "I don't trust these humans out here to help you, and I'm not going to let a hard-working single father and his son starve. It's just not going to happen." He started actually crying at that point and I did all I could not to do the same. I pulled out what I could afford to give him.

The number is not important, and I can't remember anyway, but it's not as much as I wanted to give him. I told him that I hoped what I gave him would get him through to payday and he hugged me (After asking.) I told him they would be ok and that we was an amazing father to sacrifice for his son like he had. The kind of father many kids unfortunately never had. I knew he needed to hear that and I'm glad I said it.

He kept trying to tell me he wanted to pay me back. And in the end, I finally told him how he could. "When you are on your feet and can afford to. Find someone who needs help like you did, and help them." I said. "That's what I'm doing now, and that's why I'm doing it. I continued.

As an Autistic adult, I came from a place where nobody would hire me, and no matter what I tried to make money, I fell flat on my face. I have been plagued with bad luck most of my life and have often felt cursed, so when I finally get on my feet and out of the bad times and see someone struggling to do the same just like I did, my first thought isn't to judge them or tell them to pull themselves up. It's to help them up.

He was a single dad with a new job trying to do right by his son. He was pulling himself up. But he needed help. Sometimes when people help themselves up, they still need a hand. And in a world of apathetic "not my problem" attitudes. Be that hand. Be that hand in spite of the judgmental onlookers, and naysayers. Yes. Guard yourself against being used, and abused but do what you can afford to do to help make their world, and by extension the rest of the world a better place.

And wherever you are, my brother, if you are by some random happenstance reading this. I hope you and yours are as well as me and mine. Thank you for being a shining example of fatherhood in a time where I was questioning my ability to be one.

-Nathan Alan McConnell

---

Hell me make more content more often at PAYPAL.ME/GROWINGUPASPIE and PATREON.COM/IRISHWOLFPRODUCTIONS

[philologer-mosaic]

Hey! Fellow writer here! I was curious as to how you learn to write characters and /keep/ them in character without it being overly stereotypical or stiff? I've read your work and I'd love to learn from you ;^;

Hi! Glad to meet you, and wow, I am so flattered to be asked this. Happy to help out a fellow writer, and I’m always down for rambling about writing-related stuff! I’m not sure how helpful some of this will turn out to be, but here goes.

I’m not sure if you’re asking about characterisation in general including crafting OCs or specifically about writing canon characters, and a lot of this advice will be relevant to both, but I will say this straight off: I’ve seen a fair amount of quibbling about how fanfiction won’t teach you how to worldbuild and maybe that’s true, but there is nothing like writing fanfiction for teaching yourself how to craft character voices. Especially when your source material is a movie/ TV show/ whatever definition RWBY falls under. So: rewatch! Pay attention to all the little details. What turns of phrase do they use? How do they stand, how do they move? What’s their usual emotional range? Pick a line they speak, think about what descriptors you’d use to get across their tone of voice or their emotional state if you were writing the scene in a fic. When you’re writing new dialogue for them, try to hear it in the actor’s voice (if that’s a way your imagination works; some people don’t have great auditory imaginations. Mine can be kind of hit and miss!).

Rest of this advice is going under a cut, because this got looong!

With canon characters: start from what you know, then extrapolate. Especially with characters we don’t see all that much of, boil them down to a handful of personality traits/ ways-they-present-themself first, then consider what might underly them. And in reverse: take the things we know about their status and backstory, consider what that implies about them as a person.

So, Clover: I think I boiled him down to ‘confident, friendly, professional’, and what’s underlying ‘confidence’ is really obviously his semblance: he’s never had to hesitate about anything, he always knows he can rely on himself. So in his internal monologue, he’s not going to second-guess his decisions. He calls Qrow out on deflecting compliments, so he’s good at reading people and also wants to help them; I assume that applies more broadly than just to Qrow. He’s leader of Ironwood’s flagship team of Specialists, and semblance or not I made the assumption he didn’t get there without working for it [that is an assumption, though! People less inclined to think well of Clover will make a different assumption, in-universe as well as out, and how he responds to that is also something to consider], so he’s got to be smart, dedicated, a good tactician, a good leader. And building from that: he’s smart and perceptive but we know he’s also loyal to the bitter end (very bitter); what sort of personality can we project that reconciles those two, what sort of person would respond like that? What I went with is that he trusts the system because he understands enough pieces of how/why it works that he trusts the bits he doesn’t understand are also created with the best interests of the people at heart. (Even when that’s really not true.) So then that’s a consistent philosophy-like thing that underlies a lot of how I write him: he understands the reasons for a lot of why things are how they are and then assumes the best of all the rest.

– This looks like a lot, now I’ve written it out. I thought all this out while working on the early chapters but I never put it some of it into words really. In coming up with the plot or story idea you’ll have made plenty of these assumptions and extrapolations already. Take a second look at them; take them further, find places to link them together or pit them against each other.

And remember, these are your interpretations. There’s not a right or wrong way to flesh these out. Work with semi-canon stuff like the mangas or discard it as you wish; follow fanon or argue with it or throw it out entirely. I interpreted Yang as ‘normal outgoing teenage girl in a non-homophobic world’ and wrote her as having dated people from Signal before she got to Beacon; the other day I came across a tumblr post interpreting her as “a rural lesbian”, by which standard she definitely didn’t have any romantic experience before canon; they’re both entirely plausible takes! Where we don’t know stuff for sure, slot in whatever your story needs, or whatever you think seems interesting. I settled on Clover’s backstory for Soldier, Spy mostly by going ‘ok, what’s an interesting way to contrast him with Qrow?’ And in some of my other fic ideas, he’s different.

Limited third person perspective (or first person, if you can pull if off) is the best for dropping in characterisation smoothly. Though I’m probably biased because I love it so much. Omniscient third person POV is when the narration’s impartial and uninvolved, and skips between person A’s thoughts and person B’s thoughts and pure description of what’s happening, objectively speaking; limited third person is – when the camera’s always over one person’s shoulder in a given scene. It’s less close in than first person, but we get the POV character’s thoughts and no others, we only see/notice what they notice and pay attention to, descriptions are coloured by the way the POV character thinks about the world. I don’t want to be setting you homework, but, a neat writing exercise, if you want it: pick an object, place or person, and consider how two different characters would see it differently. Write those two descriptions. For fun, pick something that at least one of the characters is going to really look down on or dislike parts of! (Qrow’s snark is so much fun.)

This is cynical, but: people lie to themselves a lot. When you put yourself into a character’s head, they’re going to be telling themself a narrative in which what they’re doing is the best thing to do and makes them a good person. (With a few exceptions, the big ones being depression- and anxiety-brain, which instead do their best to convince you you’re the worst.) Get your characters to justify themselves to you.

Goals, motivations, priorities. It feels like a massive oversight to write about how to characters and leave that one out, but honestly I can’t think of anything I can say here that hasn’t been covered better by tons of other writing advice. [Incidentally: https://www.writersdigest.com/ . Subscribe to their email newsletter, it’s free, they will try to get you to buy their how-to courses but there’s no need to, the website has all kinds of articles about the craft and details of writing and the newsletter will send you all the new ones plus curated picks of what’s already there. And also: https://springhole.net/writing/index.html . There’s some stuff specific to fanfic in there, and also general writing advice.] Just: keep it in mind.

Related to that, but a separate thing and one that I haven’t seen other writing advice talk about so much: how does the character try to achieve their goals? What are their skills and resources? And more than that, what’s their preferred approach? In the simplest terms. It’s a matter of mindset, and what options they see as available to them. So the things I would keep in mind for this are: Who’s got social skills/ is good at thinking in social terms, and who isn’t/doesn’t? (Not just interpersonally speaking. James “not really concerned about my reputation” Ironwood is a good example of a character who always thinks in terms of hard power over soft power; even when public opinion is an important strategic consideration he only thinks about it in the broadest and most simplified strokes.) Who would rather work within the system, and who prefers to do an end-run around it? (That doesn’t have to correlate with who’s actually got power, though obviously there are trends. I’m writing Clover as tending to take charge even when he officially shouldn’t because he’s more concerned with solving the problem than with rank, and that’s a case of circumventing the system, it’s one of the things he’s got in common with Qrow.) Who’s more analytical about their approach and what they’re trying to do (which means their failure mode is overthinking and decision paralysis) and who reacts with their gut instinct (which means their failure mode is getting in over their head)?

… I could talk about this one at length. There’s a whole framework I use to categorise characters in this way (I came across it in, of all things, the flavourtext of a supplement to an RPG no one’s ever heard of and it just stuck with me, and I’ve made it my own in the years since) and I could go into all sorts of detail about how it works/ what it means. But I think this is enough to be getting on with, on that topic. If you want to know more, send me another ask? But no one else talks about this thing in writing advice, it might be completely orthogonal to the writing process of anyone but me.

So! Related to the topic of characters’ skillsets, a really great tip I can’t remember where I picked up: how do you write someone who’s smarter/wittier/better at tactics than you? Spend minutes or hours turning something over in your head that the character is going to come up with in seconds. The great advantage of writing: it’s so much easier to be eloquent when you’ve got time to think. [If you had asked me this question in person you would have got ‘i don’t know?’ and then half an hour later I would have thought of half of this stuff and kicked myself. A week and change later, you’re getting the other half too :p ]

And lastly: you said you were worried about your writing getting “overly stereotypical”. And my immediate response to that was stereotypes bad, yes, but archetypes great. The difference being: stereotypes are lazy and offensive writing that let ‘membership of a social category’ stand in for ‘actual characterisation’ and if you’re asking for advice on characterisation you’re obviously too thoughtful to commit them; archetypes are pre-made sketched-out personalities that you can take as your own and flesh out into your own thing. Tropes are tools. No one ever said ‘They were roommates? Ugh, how unoriginal’. By the same token, ‘lone wolf who pretends he’s fine and doesn’t dare trust anyone no matter how much he secretly wants to’ is a fantastic trope that exists for good reason, the CRWBY used it for good reason, and when we found out Qrow’s semblance I went yes please I will have some of all that angst and then laughed at myself because when it comes to fictional characters I have A Type. I’m pretty sure I’ve never written the exact scenario ‘pushes themself way too hard and passes out, wakes up in unexpected safety and immediately condemns themself for not sticking it out longer’ before the opening of Soldier, Spy, but I know I’ve come up with plenty of things that were like it, and if they’d made it to a state of publication you’d be able to see that.

It’s like artists using references. Just because they looked up how to draw that hand and that pose doesn’t mean the final product’s not their own. There’s no reason not to start with your ideas of the character (no matter how ‘stereotypical’ they feel) or a collection of traits you’ve grabbed from other characters that seem like they’d fit – or, for OCs, an MBTI type or a roleplaying class/background combo or one of these or some other personality type you feel like you can find your way around the basics of – and just take it from there. When you start writing/outlining/daydreaming-about-ideas you’ll run into scenarios/setups you can’t copy across from but you can see what responses might come up, and that’s how the template becomes your own unique iteration of it.

… Because really all writing advice does come down to: just write. In your head or on the page, try things out, see what works, see how it goes. I’ve been doing this a long time; most of it never made it to words on a page, let alone to the internet at large. Read across genres, read things people write about themselves and how they live and think and feel, and just – go for it.

I hope this helps! Once again, I was really glad to be asked; feel free to ask me to elaborate on any of this, or about anything else you want advice about. I wish you all the best in your future writing!

[writersperpetualblock]

Breakfasts in a broken home.

A/N; Cuz I’ve got a major crush on older men. This was originally written as a Jeffrey Dean Morgan × Reader thing but halfway through I changed my mind to my very neglected baby Chris Evans of whom I never write anything. So here is.

Summary; How much can a broken marriage hold when there is nothing left to hold on to? You can try to ignore it, you can try to run from it. But the truth will always catch up to you.

Warnings: Sensitive topics such as depression, malnutrition and divorce.

••••••○

Reader PoV.

Waking up was hard, the air felt chilly even when the sun was already high up in the sky. A soft sigh escaped me as I turn around, half expecting my husband to be lay sleeping by my side. Half expecting him to be on the other side of the country, working.

Not surprisingly enough I find the second one to be the truth. Neither confusion nor disappointment drowned me anymore, now it felt more like a huge wave of empty crashed inside me. Just last night he had gone to sleep on this bed, craddling me in his arms, even after our heated fight. I closed my eyes, and without warning a tear escapes me. I knew what I was getting into when I married him, I knew he'd always be trapped in tons of work and have important things to take care of all the time. It was just sad that I wasn't one of those things anymore.

I could not gather the strength to get out of bed. I simply couldn’t. Not today. Not without my Chris.

Someone slowly knocked on the door. I was quick to wipe the tears from my eyes, hoping anyone would come through the door but my son.

“Come in” A skinny girl pushes the door open and enters the room head down. I was never a fan of having maids, but Chris insisted he wanted to give me the best care whenever he was away. And after a while of what would have been very lonely weeks at a time, I came to appreciate their company.

“Joan” I acknowledge the girl just a few years younger than me and with a baby boy near my owns age. She carried a tray in her hands and much to my dismay I sat up and instructed her to leave it on the night stand. She did so and gave me a small but bright smile.

“Mrs Evans, the kids asked earlier if they could go to the town’s annual fair that's taking place in a few hours. Of course Matteo wished to come ask you himself but I told him you were still asleep“ her brown eyes scan me, as if trying to decide what my reaction is going to be.

“I don’t see why not.” I try to give her a smile “Thanks Joan, you may take them yourself. I'll give you some money for the boys. Buy icecream, cotton candy or whatever they want and bring them back for dinner, all right?”

She nodded and walked out of the room with a smile. Then her head popped at the door again. “I will get them ready now and I'll tell Mateo to come say hi before he leaves.” She trailed off, seemingly unsure of her next words “He has not seen you out of bed in days Y/n.”

My eyebrows rise at that, and she closes the door behind her. Can't be mad when she's telling the truth, but the reprimand isn't exactly appreciated.

Taking one look to my breakfast I sigh, I didn’t feel much like eating today. But with Joan's words pounding in my head, I knew I needed some strength. If not for me for my son. But before anything else I reached for my phone to send out a single text.

: Where did you go?

As I awaited a response I slowly got out of bed and heade to the bathroom between dizzy steps, trying to recall the last time I had more than a granola bar and chocolate to eat. Not being surprised by the fact that I didn’t even remember. While brushing my teeth I managed to avoid a glance at the person on the mirror. Not wishing to see her swollen cheeks, or the dark circles under her eyes or her mistreated skin. After a layer of particularly pink lotion to my face and a cold water rinse I felt a tad more awake, trying not to sprint inside the bedroom at the first ring of my phone. No, instead I took my time drying my face and putting some handcream on. Finally heading out of the bathroom and straight torwards the phone.

Chris♡: They called me in to retake some scenes. Will be home by night.

Of course. The phone found itself being dropped back in the bed rather harshly. Like we didn’t have a marriage emergency going on.

I almost chuckle, marriage emergency… what kind of selfish bitch was living within me. It was his work, mostly what gave me and my son the spectacular roof over our heads and brought food on the table since I pretty much quit my job. I shouldn’t expect it to be less important. It’s not like his family was at stake here.

Suddenly shutting my senses to my thoughts I attempt to shake them off my head. But I can’t. All I do is contradict myself, all there is is a never ending inner fight with myself and it was making me lost. I had a son to look after. I needed to be more supportive of my husband. Of myself when it came to that. But I felt mentally and physically exhausted. And it needed to stop. Start with your breath...

When I consider that I have collected myself enough to pick at my breakfast and turn around there is an expectant little figure by the door. And I feel the wind knocked out of my stomach.

I gave him a small smile. “Hey baby” he quickly runs up to me and my body crouches on instinct, lifting him from the floor and squeezing him into my arms. I breath in the scent of his blonde waves. For a moment, all of my inner fight had dissipated. All of the struggle forgotten for a second and there is a smile on my lips. A true smile.

“Good afternoon momma” he wraps his short arms around my neck. My nose itches and for a second I think I may cry.

“oh I love you baby” I reply, sitting him on the bed. The pain on my lower back not going unnoticed as I do so, but I have mastered the art of acting and sit next to my son.

“Adrian is still getting ready momma, can we watch tv?” he looks up at me, baby blue eyes sparkling, just like his father’s do. "Mhmm" is all I get out. Could my own kid look less like me? It's as if Chris made him solo and I simply carried and gave birth to his offspring that had nothing to do with me.... maybe the nose.

We sat back on the bed. Matteo watching a cartoon, and me trying to eat my food like a little girl being watched eat, almost obligated. With a sigh I take a spoonful of oatmeal to my mouth. It wasn’t bad really, warm and creamy. I eat half of the plate and share a cookie with my son. We both lean back on the bed, Matteo with his small body against my side. I took a second to enjoy it but it didn't last. Joan knocked on the half open door, her son by the hand. "We are ready to go!"

Matteo smiled widely and jumped off the bed, sprinting towards them but stopping in his tracks and heading back to me. I giggled as he left a loud kiss on my cheek and then ran again to his friend. I instruct Joan where to find some money and she smiles, thankful. When their steos are out of earshot I turn the tv off and fill the bathtub with hot water. Deciding to make myself useful or something on this day.

It had been sometime since I'd last taken a nice bath. It was really cold outside so normally a quick shower would suffice, and I'm sure it was more than a day ago since the last one. Yes, I should be ashamed, but I didn't care too much. It's not like I was doing anything too exciting inside these many, many walls.

••••○

Answering the 14th call of the hour a hand runs through my hair as I sit down on the small bed of the trailer.

"Hey Chris, what's up?" There's a tone of worry that I recognize.

My head starts spinning with possible answers, but I shake my thoughts away. "I'm fine, it's just Y/n."

"Oh, is she doing okay?"

"Not really." there's a pause as he gives me time to get my thoughts together "She isn't getting out of bed. She barely eats, she doesn't spend time with our son... I feel like it's my fault, because I'm always away and I've neglected her so."

"Hey I don't think it's that, she knows you need to be away Chris, I'm sure she understands that even if it's hard. And she can take care of herself."

"Yes I know she understands, but, just last night we had a fight. It was the first time I'd been home for weeks and she fights with me."

"You guys have a son that's 3, just couse she understands I don't think it's any easier on her, so you gotta give her some credit."

"I'm worried that she doesn't pay attention to him, what if he thinks it's because of him? I don't know how she might treat him when I'm not there."

"Chris! you know better than anyone else how much she loves Matteo. I couldn't possibly think of her as much as putting her hands on him, much less being mean."

"I know... I just worry, and all kinds of things just come up in my mind."

"Well you need to home more man, if you don't even know how things go in your house maybe it's time you quit."

"What? Scott I signed a contract, I can't just" my back hits the bed with a loud creak and I shut my eyes.

"Break it, I'm not saying it's forever. But you both have a lot of money. It could probably sustain you guys for a lot more years. Your wife needs you brother, and so does your son."

"I can't just..."

"Chris this is your freaking family!"

"I know dammit I KNOW!" Inevitably hot tears fill my eyes and I have to wipe them with the back of my hand.

"What are you so afraid of?" Scott asks and it makes tears to well up again.

A shocked sob came out with the next words "That she's gonna want to leave."

"Chris, Y/n loves you more than a human being can love. You can go and fix your marriage now, or you can keep working until the amazing woman that sits at your home sinks into a bottomless depression that drowns her and your son with her."

My brother's words hit me. I knew it was getting bad, but I was too scared to deal. It was easier being away and pretending I had a happy marriage at home waiting for me every time. But reality was creeping in more and more, I noticed that yesterday.

"What did you guys fight about yesterday?"

"Uh.., my drinking."

"Chris... you're not abusing it are you?"

"No I'm not, I just, had a few glasses because I was finally home. After weeks, and she got mad, said Matteo shouldn't have to see me like that, and I got mad because I really wasn't drunk," My head hurts at the memory of it "it got heated... fast, and I threw a glass against the floor and she got scared and I just... I feel like she sees me like stranger Scott."

"I would see you as a stranger if you were never home and on top of that started acting up when you were. I think you guys should take sometime off, talk things and maybe go to couple's therapy or some shit, I don't know. But you two have a kid, spend some time with him, don't fuck him up just because the two of you have problems. The jobs not worth it, the money's not worth it, at the end of the day, nothing is worth more than your family."

"I fucking hate when you get all deep with me" I chuckle, sitting up and resting my fforehead in one hand.

"That's only because I'm right." my brother laughs too.

"How about you? Are you guys doing alright?"

"Don't worry bout us, we're still on the honeymoon phase"

We both laugh and say our goodbyes, having my brother pep talk me. I knew I had to get my family back, even if I hadn't really lost them, yet. But I needed the incentive to do so.

Reader

The baths I prepare are pretty damn good, dare I say so myself. Laying back on the water, taking a few deep breathes. It does wonders. And suddenly an idea pops in my head.

When I was somewhere around 18 I struggled with depression for years. And one of the things that helped me through that was to write down how I felt, how I wished to feel and how I could improve my situation. It was how I took writing as one of my hobbies.

So I started typing away on my phone.

I know I am not as pretty as I used to be.

I never was too perfect, or perfect at all.

And I'm conscious that my body might not look desirable anymore.

Maybe, I never deserved your love.

Or maybe it was you who didn't deserve mine.

But we made it through the hate,

we had something so beautiful.

We made life.

And I wish things could go back to being so beautiful.

But I would still love you if you decided that I'm not enough for you anymore.

I will accept anything.

All I know for sure is just that this can't keep on like this.

We deserve to be happy.

I deserve to be happy.

For the good of the life that we created,

for the good of our son,

we must get better

wether that is apart or together.

"I had forgotten how much I suck at this." I laughed at myself, but that was fine, because it got the message across. I think.

I hope.

Divorce wasn't something new to cross my mind. I just never thought I would want to discuss it, not so seriously. My parents were divorced, and my mom and I did fairly good. My dad did great on the other hand.. It wasn't that I was scared of it really, because I considered myself capable enough.

My only fear was that I would never move on from Chris, I loved him still. I have loved him since our first kiss. But sometimes it felt as if I barely knew the person that I loved anymore. My heart was still clinging to his, but my mind could not be any more distant right now.

If I really wanted to save our marriage I had to act now. But I couldn't do it alone, and that was exactly how I felt that I was.

The water went cold, and I stood up grabbing the nearest towel. Stepping out of the bath I bent down to unclog it, and when I stood back up my ears rang.

I held onto the wall for a second, and it only got worse. The room obscuring and spinning at the same time. I am not sure if I slipped or if I fainted, but I could surely say there was a bit of blood running down my forehead.

And when I finally came back to it, I was already on an ambulence.

"Ma'am. Mr. Evans is on his way, you're okay."

My eyes went to the back of my head, it felt as if I'd been on a damn carousel for hours. What the hell was happening to me?

There was a distant voice asking me things, and all I could reply was dizzy and nauseous several times.

I fucked up, who was going to take care of Matteo. I couldn't take care of him in a hospital. He needed me by his side.

"You should have taken better care of yourself."

[briannafrostgirl]

Paper

An original story by BriannaFrostgirl

The prison cart shook violently with every bump of the road, which were numerous on the clay roads of Lemoyne. With each bump, the shackles that were wearing into Brianna Murphy's wrists and ankles rattled like an angry ghost. She'd long since given up on trying to pick the lock. Her fingers never had been well suited for such fine work and as such her skills were more than a little rusty. Her charm on the other hand...

The bounty hunter was a woman and a beautiful one at that. And well, Brianna had always had a way with the ladies...

The hunter was dressed smartly in shades of grey and black, with a red tie around her neck providing a splash of color and a gold pocket watch tucked into her best pocket. Her curly brown hair was tied up in a simple ponytail, her posture was impeccable, and she had just the right amount of sweat on her brow. She already looked plenty formidable but it was her eyes that told the full story. Deep brown and full of loss and sorrow and determination. The eyes of a woman not lightly crossed. She was focused on the road but Brianna had no doubt that she was more than ready to use the Lancaster repeater on her lap at a second's notice. She was taciturn but the smallest smile played at the corner of her lips, giving the Irishwoman the confidence to try.

"That's a fine gun," she said cheerily in a thick Galway accent. "Looks like it's got a custom frame and grip, if I'm not mistaken."

"You are not," the hunter replied with a little smile, brandishing the gun like a proud mother. "She's my pride and joy, so I keep her well maintained. Only the best for my baby, right? You like her?"

"Oh aye, she's a masterfull piece of work alright," Brianna replied with a grin. "As is the woman holding her."

The other two prisoners - a couple of Lemoyne Raiders who didn't know about bathing or laundry from the smell of them - both groaned but the hunter let out a little chuckle.

"You comin' onto me, miss?" She asked

"Depends. Is it working?" Brianna replied with a smirk.

"Only a little," the hunter laughed. "Not enough to let you out of that cage of that's what you're wondering."

"Would it help if I said I was framed?" Brianna asked playfully, batting her eyelashes coquetishly.

"Well, I got a paper here says you killed three men in Valentine" the hunter replied, brandishing the paper in question. "That true?"

"Well, you're missing some crucial context there..."

"Which is...?"

"They took my hat," Brianna shrugged. "And they cheated at cards. They were assholes, no one will miss em."

"Well that clearly ain't true since someone put a price on your head, Miss Murphy," the hunter chuckled to herself.

Brianna sighed and slumped back down in her seat.

"Looks like you done struck out," one of her traveling companions said with a gleeful smile that showed off his three remaining teeth. "I always heard you Brits was queer but Lord knows I didn't know how right that was."

"Shut your mouth or I'll have to be hanged for four murders instead of three," she replied sulkily.

"Save your threats, Irish," Toothless chuckled. "We'll be out of this cage soon enough. The Lord provides. Or in this case, my brother."

Brianna looked up from her shackles, her eyes narrowed. "Your what?"

BOOM!! The cart was thrown to the side of the road in an explosion of dirt and fire. Brianna could hear the horses bolt, could feel the blood slick on the back of her head. And she could see the other two prisoners gleefully slip out the back, cheering and hollering like wild dogs. With a groan, Brianna rolled out of her seat and followed them.

The side of the road had been torn apart by dynamite, leaving a deep rut that would no doubt annoy travelers for years to come. Toothless' compatriot had his shackles around the hunter's throat, a revolver to her head. Another man in confederate wear, the brother, she supposed, was busy breaking the lock on Toothless' handcuffs.

"What did I tell you, Irish?" He chuckled gleefully. "The Lord provides..."

His chains broken, the talkative bastard bent down and scooped up a revolver from the dirt, tossing it into Brianna's outstretched hands.

"We gotta get outta here, Clem," his brother said, his eyes flitting every which way - a walking, talking bundle of nerves. "No way the sheriff in Rhodes didn't hear that blast."

"In a minute," Toothless replied, rolling his eyes. "Jesus, Joe, you worry too goddamn much. We gotta deal with our captor first..."

He chuckled gleefully, picking up her repeater and reloading it.

"Jesus, Clem..." Joe groaned. "Just put a bullet in her head and let's go."

Brianna winced in spite of herself. "Isn't that a little excessive? Why don't we just tie her up and be on our merry way."

Toothless let out a nasty gaffaw. "You going soft, Irish? You caught feelings for this bounty huntin’ piece of trash."

He approached the hunter, getting his face within inches of hers. "Don't you want to get even with this bitch? She was gonna hang you..."

Brianna rolled her eyes.

"I think I'm gonna make it slow..." Toothless added, his voice getting even nastier if that was possible. "A drop of blood for every one my brothers she's seen hanged."

The hunter gave Brianna a determined stare. "You really sure these folks are the kind you wanna associate with, Miss Murphy?"

Brianna looked at her feet. "It's better than dyin'."

"Is it?" The hunter's gaze remained fixed on Brianna, ignoring her captors entirely. "I don't know about you, but I'd rather die with my honor intact than throw in with these inbred bastards." 

"Shut the hell up," Toothless growled, jamming the gun butt into her head. "Maybe I should just put a bullet in you right now."

Despite the blow, the hunter's gaze remained fixed on Brianna.

She sighed and cocked her gun. "Fuck it."

And with the speed and ease of a practiced marksman, she spun her revolver up and put a round into Toothless' skull.

"What the hell???"

Both Joe and the man who was holding the hunter turned their guns on Brianna, their faces full of shock as their compatriot's lifeless body slumped to the dirt. Quick as lightning, the hunter jammed her knee into her captor's groin, causing him to double over in pain and drop his revolver into her waiting hand. She spun it with grace and put two shots into Joe's chest. Before he even hit the ground, she had put a round into the third man's head and easily extricated herself from his grip.

Brianna stared at her, dumbfounded. "You... You didn't need my help at all, did you?"

The hunter winked at her. "Not really. But I wanted to see what you'd do."

Brianna's cheeks flushed. "I guess we’ve got a stop to make in Rhodes, huh?"

"I guess that depends on you..." The hunter smirked.

She pulled a piece of paper from her vest pocket and wrapped it around her revolver, tossing it to Brianna. She unfurled the paper, her jaw dropping at its contents.

"A bounty hunting license?"

"It pays the bills and it's good honest work," the hunter replied. "And as long as you're doing good, honest work, you and I don't have a problem."

She held up Brianna's wanted poster and tore it in two. "Just try not to shoot anybody else over cards, okay?"

Brianna grinned as she pulled off Joe's gun belt and slipped her two new revolvers into it. "No promises, but I will try."

"Fair enough," the hunter laughed.

She glanced around at the carnage around them, her hands on her hips.

"Well if you wanted to start on your new line of work early, I got three bodies to take into the sheriff in Rhodes and no wagon to transport them," she said with a smile.

Brianna shrugged and hoisted Toothless' corpse up onto her shoulder. "Well I got nowhere better to be, so..."

As the two women headed off down the road, hauling the three confederates along with them, Brianna glanced at her new traveling companion.

"So, uh... About earlier. I didn't have a shot with you, did I?"

The hunter gave her a playful grin. "Well, buy me a drink once we hit Rhodes and we'll see..."

[hostagine]

(Hope you don't mind if I group these two asks together!)

Tamaki:

Tamaki's the epitome of "obliviousness" but after he actually recognizes that he has a crush, he goes full swing. He's ready to marry them kind of swing.

He's writing their names on his exams/work documents Instead of his own.

A big daydreamer. He'll completely space out when talking to them, because he's too focused on them than what they're saying.

Sends them anonymous flowers to their school/job all the time.

Probably confesses to a crush in HS through a letter. A letter he'd spent a whole week on.

A letter that has to be rolled out like a scroll.

He wouldn't just hand it to them though. He'd read it out loud on one knee. In front of the whole class cause he wants the whole class to know that his crush is off limits if they don't reject him-

As he gets older he's a lot less awkward.

But he's still Tamaki so anything he does gets out of hand, so a "simple" dinner would include him renting out an entire restaurant and hiring an Orcastra just to ask his crush out.

Kyoya:

Kyoya won't ever admit he has a crush on them. He'll beat completely around the bush.

Not because he's shy, but because even if he knows he has feelings for someone, he believes it's non benifical to him to be in a romantic relationship, so he'll pretty much just thrown the idea out there, waiting for them to confess first, making it seem like he's doing them a favor by accepting them, while also getting what he wants.

He'll make sure that they have feelings for him as well so that it doesn't fail.

Cause there's no way he'd purposely embarrass himself like that—

Tends to get a frustrated a lot easier when he's with his crush than when they're not around, because despite not wanting to have feelings for someone, he does, and he doesn't like not being in control of himself and how he feels, so he'll lash out with a rude comment towards them or move aggressively. Ect/ slam doors, handle things with less care./ Things he'll indirectly apologize for later.

Is in the habit of biting his lips a lot when he's around/thinking about his crush.

I think as he gets older he'll definitely become more aware of his different emotions and how to manage them, so he'd be much more gentle and polite towards them.

Still, he's not going to admit he likes anyone. That's embarrassing. His confession would be something along the lines of:

"Seeing as we both enjoy each other's company—"

Or

"Seeing as you enjoy MY company so much—

Haruhi:

It's going to take her awhile to realize that what she feels for someone is attraction and not just "respect", which is a rocky development in itself, but she'll get there eventually.

She'll subconsciously flirt and compliment them. All the time.

Though they're subtle flirts. Ect - sitting so close to them that their legs are touching. Holding their hands. Fixing their hair if it's a mess or out if place - She's unintentionally super handsy.

Is actually a stuttering mess when confessing, especially to a first young love. She'll twiddle her thumbs and kind of crouch in embarrassment, quietly muttering something like: I just... Kind of- I mean a lot. I like you. A lot and-"

She's a fast learner. I don't think Haruhi would have a lot of crushes, so it's not something she does on a regular basis but as she gets older she's a lot more mature with handling her confessions. And especially views "sitting on her feelings" as a big waste of time, so when she realizes she likes someone, she'll tell them probably over a coffee date with a plain and simple: "I've liked you for awhile now." Followed by something like: "If you feel the same, I'd rather you tell me now."

Hikaru:

A master at sitting on his feelings. And sometimes gets somewhat of a "crush grudge" when/if he gets rejected.

He won't get angry. Just very sulky. (Maybe there was an instance or 2 where he had sat on his feelings for too long or somehow found out his crush was in love with someone else and he cried to Kaoru about it).

+ Gets very sulky when

Develops crushes rather easily. Not the typical "they're so pretty i'm gonna ask them out" but if someone is kind or compliments him (particularly something that makes him stand out from Kaoru (something he has an unspoken complex about)) he's obsessed.

But because he sits on his feelings and contemplates for so long, he won't even think about confessing until somebody (most likely Kaoru) urges him to. And when he does he gets so nervous he almost cries. He's a shaky mess. Cause he knows he's gonna be absolutely devastated if they say no.

He'll blurt out: "I love you." And immediately regrets putting his whole heart on his sleeve like that and quickly tries to save himself with: "I think I love you."

Poor kid has no filter.

When he's older, he's a lot less emotional but still too awkward for his own good so his confessions are still really heartfelt and honest.

He keeps really intense eye contact and holds their hand, giving them a kind of long speech about all the things he likes about them, leading up to his confession.

Kaoru:

Not as timorous as his brother and recognizes his feelings pretty easily so he makes quite an effort into making sure his feelings towards them can't be misunderstood.

But is always worried that he might be "moving too fast" or is "too clingy".

Gets really anxious when his crush doesn't text back right away and sometimes giving himself a mental breakdown: "what if they're mad at me?"

Tends to stare at them a lot, silently, chin in his hands, absolutely mesmerized.

He's very affectionate. Constantly nuzzling against them.

Kaoru won't confess until he's absolutely sure their crush is the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with, because breakups terrify him. (And does not take them well).

He cries everytime.

Always goes the extra mile to impress them, leading up to his confession. + Spends hours getting ready.

His actual confessions are pretty straight forward because he's so desperate to get it off his chest.

It goes something like: "I like you. You don't have to tell me your answer now, but I want you to know I'm serious."

Hani:

It doesn't take much to get his attention to he crushes fairly easily.

But there's actually very few he'd be serious enough about to confess to.

A Savage tease when it comes to his crush. + Teases them to cover up his own embarrassment.

Makes up pathetic excuses to hold their hands or just to be intimately close to them. Doesn't matter how.

"It's cold outside. We should hold hands to keep warm!"

He's the type who'll hide their umbrella when it's raining so that they'll "have to" share his umbrella.

Frosts littles messages on the cakes that he buys them as gifts.

He's pretty sly when confessing. He won't say he likes them until they agree to go on a date with him so that he can blow it off as just a "friend date. Nothing serious" in case he gets rejected.

And he still avoids the word "love" until he's sure that he's serious about the relationship. Cause that's a strong word.

His confession being something like: "I'd like it if we could eat cake together like this all the time." As he looks them in the eye suggestively.

"Just me and you."

He likes to watch their reaction as they slowly come to realization that he's confessing. It's cute to him.

Mori:

He doesn't talk much, but gets embarrassed so easily around his crush.

Tends to get a bit overprotective with them. Similar to the way he gets with Hani, but a little more anxiously.

Has a strange mentality that he somehow how has to prove to himself that he's "worthy" to them before he can tell them how he feels.

Which kind of goes hand-in-hand that he's determined to never let them do anything themselves or by themselves, if he can help it. Ect: insists on carrying their bags, walking to class with them.

It's in his blood and unintentionally becomes their personal servant/bodyguard.

He gets a little blundering and uncoordinated, because of his feelings for them. Ect: The poor guy is walking into walls, + becomes so graceless and out of focus when he's training at the dojo that his pupils and underclassmen start overthrowing him.

Which is when Hani tells him that he should "probably tell them how you feel", afraid that his cousin might accidentally walk into traffic or fall down a flight of stairs.

Mori's confession is straight to the point, but considerate. He doesn't want to use too many words that it would overwhelm them but he does want them to know that he's serious about them.

But it's be completely out of the blue. The moment he comes to the realization that he likes them, he's going to say it.

And it's something maybe like: " t/n... I'd like for us to be together. If you're comfortable. You're special to me. I'd like it very much if... You could be with me."

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: I miss you Rio: Guarantee I miss you more Buster: State your case then Rio: 😍😍 Buster: That's a strong introduction, how are you gonna follow it through? Rio: 🤤🤤 Buster: I like the thread of your argument, I can't lie, but I still miss you more Buster: 'Cause a girl was flirting with me in the gym and after telling her all the ways she doesn't compare to you, how incomparable you are was, and is, all I could think about Rio: As much as I probably shouldn't encourage you to be rude to random girls Rio: I love that you do so Buster: She embarrassed herself long before I embarrassed her, reckoning she had a chance Rio: I know what you mean Rio: the stalker has been getting inventive today Buster: Tell me Rio: We're doing this whole project in comp sci about viruses and shit Rio: and they've sent a meant-to-be-creepy spam type email Rio: it's got attachments but Rio: I've not looked yet Buster: Send it to me, I'll open it for you Rio: I know it's unlikely they're that smart Rio: but what if it does have some computer-killing 👾 attached? Buster: Smart enough that we haven't worked out who they are yet Buster: but if it's a virus, I'll buy another laptop Rio: it seems ridiculous Rio: this proves it has to be someone at school now, at least Rio: it's not like I've posted about my fucking homework anywhere Buster: How big's that class? Buster: Can discount my sister and your brother already, like Rio: Don't Rio: you're about the only person I've not thought it could be at my craziest Rio: probably about 30 odd though, standard Buster: Baby, they're the crazy one and I'm not letting them drive you even slightly close to the edge Buster: Who do you know and who don't you, percentage wise? Rio: I thought I knew everyone in this school, this town Rio: you'd think if someone was as creepy as this, anyway, that you'd know, they'd fucking stick out a bit but no Buster: It ain't a film, there's no creepy music playing to give it away Rio: if it was, it'd be dragging Rio: time for the resolve and happy ending Buster: Yeah, I know Buster: You wanna try calling that helpline again? Rio: Maybe Rio: I just wanna talk to you Rio: that's more helpful Buster: It's the least bullshit lead we've had for ages, I'll find a way to narrow it down more somehow Buster: We've got an obsession with you in common, it'll be me who figures it out if any cunt can Rio: Yours is the only one I need Buster: If you need to stay here for a while I'll sort it with my parents, yours, school, whoever Buster: You know that Rio: I know Rio: it's more and more tempting to not leave every time I go Buster: I just want you to be able to take an actual deep fucking breath Buster: Like you said, the amount of time this has been going on is ridiculous Rio: I can forget about it, most of the time Rio: but it's when something new happens, unexpected Buster: I'll kill him when we work out who it is Buster: 'Til then, stay with me Buster: He never does fuck all when you're here Rio: At least that's quick Rio: too nice if anything, babe Rio: always say that about you Buster: It don't have to be quick or nice Buster: Don't underestimate me, babe Rio: 🤤🤤 I rest my case Buster: I love you, that rests mine Buster: I'd do anything for you Rio: I love you so much Rio: I'd definitely be crazy without you, stalker or otherwise Buster: There's a fair chance I'd be stalking you too if things were any different between us Buster: I'd leave better presents though Rio: and I'd know it was you always Buster: 'Course Buster: I'd want you to know Rio: hence there's no world in which we ain't a thing Buster: [has bought her the most expensive and best ever anti virus software and all that jazz so sends her the deets like there you go] Rio: this really has everything Rio: thank you Buster: He ain't gonna be smart enough to get through that, I've been reading reviews since you told me Buster: And I have it too now so you don't have to worry about sending me whatever bullshit he does to you Rio: We can open it together then? Rio: [I think it shouldn't be camgirl moments but something @school to drive that home] Buster: Yeah, on the count of three Rio: [just some creeper shots all throughout the day up until that lesson] Rio: these are today, I'm 99% sure Rio: I swapped my bag Buster: Forget going there tomorrow, I'm booking you a flight here instead Buster: I'll think of a lie to tell my parents if you still don't want anyone else to know the truth Rio: there was always the possibility Rio: but now I know it's someone I really see in person Rio: every day Rio: jesus Buster: I meant what I said, I'm gonna find out who, whatever it takes Buster: I know it feels fucked, but it's good, that it's one of 30 classmates rather than the numbers of lads who watch your streams Rio: it's true Rio: but those lads could be anywhere in the world, not in the same room as me Buster: Which is why you shouldn't be in that room until we know which sick cunt it is Buster: Just give me some time, it's not like I don't have the money to throw at it Rio: I couldn't be there if I had to Rio: I don't even want to be here at home now Buster: How soon can you be at the airport? Rio: not for a while Rio: I mean, tonight, maybe Rio: what should I tell my mam? Buster: Tell her I'm having a breakdown, it wouldn't be the first time Buster: I'll trash the house for realism if it comes to it, like Rio: it'll keep her from being worried Rio: pissed off is fine, I'll deal with that when I can Buster: Exactly Buster: And Ava's at a friend's so I don't have to worry about scaring the shit out of her with my acting Buster: 'Cause it'd be stupid not to feed my parents the same lie Rio: You don't have to go that method Rio: but I wouldn't blame you Rio: I'm trying to keep my freak out internal because I'm looking after the twins and your sister is on her way Buster: I'm glad you're not on your own, even if the company is Nance Rio: I was kinda hoping someone took the homework too seriously and was pranking the whole class Rio: but nah, the email was more specific than I let on to her, of course Rio: even before the pictures Buster: 'Course you were Buster: He'd been quiet for a while Rio: really think he'd get bored at some point Rio: I never react, respond, everything they tell you Buster: Now isn't really the time for me to reiterate how stalkable you are again when I can do better with compliments Rio: the fact you can make me smile even at this time Buster: I can do better than that too, I'll make you forget about it Rio: yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: I need that Rio: my head is all over the place Buster: You've got it, and whatever else you need Rio: I only feel really safe when I'm with you Buster: You are safe with me, but you won't have to leave until you're also safe everywhere else Buster: I'm gonna fix it Rio: yeah Buster: I know I've said it before but this time I swear Buster: He fucked up by giving us a decent clue Rio: it does narrow it down Rio: even if it isn't the class, and it's just the school in general Rio: that's the most we've ever had to go on Buster: Exactly Rio: but what do we do Rio: if we work it out Buster: I told you, I'll kill him Rio: so you're the only one that ends up in prison Buster: I'm not a fucking amateur, babe Rio: mm Rio: 🙄😏 Buster: Hilarious Buster: Nance will be a way more receptive audience though Rio: yeah, really in the mood for this study sesh now Buster: I can easily change hers if you wanna get out of it Rio: nah Rio: I need to keep things normal Rio: only just invited her over, it'd be weird to change my mind Buster: You can blame me for that as well, I don't give a shit Rio: I can't leave yet, like you said, distraction is probably a good thing Buster: Alright, what can I do to make it a more bearable one? Buster: [loads of her fave things getting delivered to this gaff like don't be scared to answer your door, look they are all from me, here's the order confirmations] Rio: I don't deserve you Buster: You don't deserve the bullshit he's putting you through, you've always deserved me Rio: I feel like I should just Rio: stop the streams Rio: I know you aren't meant to change your lifestyle and habits for them but it wouldn't have happened if I weren't doing that shit Rio: I know you aren't meant to change your lifestyle and habits for them but it wouldn't have happened if I weren't doing that shit Buster: Fuck that, we know he's from school Buster: Being able to see you every day pre-dates anything you've done online Buster: He could've known you since primary Rio: I guess Rio: but would he be bothered if there was less out there to stalk Buster: It's not your fault, Rio Buster: It can happen to anyone, you know that Rio: it's happening to me though Buster: Not 'cause of anything you've done Buster: Come on Rio: anyway Rio: I'm gonna enjoy all these treats Buster: Good Rio: how much should I bring? Rio: when I pack Buster: As much as you want, I'll send you money for if your cases are over the weight limit Rio: don't want it to look like I'm running away too hard but Buster: You're overthinking it, you never travel light anywhere, nobody'll notice Rio: I need options Buster: I'm not mad about it and I don't care if my parents are Rio: they're going to be Rio: you'll have to go to school, be 😇 to show I'm totally not a distraction Buster: You are, but I'll still go Buster: All that matters to me is that you feel safe Rio: I will do Rio: and I'll find ways to be useful to them as well as distracting to you Buster: Winning over Ava is basically the same thing as winning them over Buster: You've had loads of practice at that Rio: kids are easy Buster: She's easier than Grace, obviously Rio: wouldn't take much on Ava's part Rio: bless Buster: She'll be distracting at any rate Rio: I can take her to school and shit, free up some time for them Buster: Yeah, and once you've had some time, we can sort out getting your assignments and shit sent over Rio: I won't miss anything important Buster: It'll be fine Buster: I'll make sure it's fine, like Rio: I know you will Buster: You gonna facetime me into this study session or what then? Rio: depends Rio: are you going to be nice? Buster: To you Rio: well you're always nice to me Buster: Are you asking me to help Nance with her homework? Rio: how much do you think she'd appreciate that? Buster: She wouldn't, so of course I'll do it Rio: I can't with you two, honestly Buster: You love me, you don't even want her to come over Rio: I'm not getting in the middle of it Buster: You already are Rio: No I'm not, shh Buster: It's okay, I know you're on my side Rio: I love you more than anyone else in the world Rio: goes without saying Buster: I still really like hearing it Rio: You know you can hear it any time you want Buster: Is she there yet? Rio: nope, you remember how long that drive takes, even in an uber Buster: I'll call you then Rio: 🥰 Buster: [does obvs] Rio: I'll just be here counting down the minutes 'til you can hold me Buster: However long it feels, you'll be staying longer Rio: promise? Buster: I swear Rio: then I'm happy Buster: If you are, I am too Rio: I haven't even asked you how your days been Rio: I'm so rude Buster: Before and after I shot down gym girl there ain't much to report Rio: what did she look like? Buster: Every other girl in this postcode Rio: Blonde and skinny Buster: Yeah Rio: vaguely equine, dresses more like a nan than nan ever would Buster: I'll have to remember all that for the next one Rio: I can tell her myself if you like Buster: If you like Rio: Me? The jealous type? Buster: The jealous type and my type Rio: I better be Rio: only type Buster: You're the only one I've ever wanted or will ever want, you definitely don't need to add that to the list of shit that's worrying you right now Rio: I just like to hear it Buster: I'll tell you again then, I want you so much Rio: even without all this bullshit Rio: it's been too long Rio: I hate every second I'm not with you Buster: I know, me too Buster: I'm not gonna say he's done me a favour, but I am glad you're coming to stay Rio: I'll say it Rio: may as well get something good from it Buster: I'd rather you didn't have to deal with any of this bullshit, obviously Rio: of course Rio: I told you, I've never thought it was you, it's okay Buster: It's not okay that I haven't been able to do fuck all about this though Buster: I'm sorry Rio: Don't Buster: It's not good enough, I know that Buster: I'm gonna do better Rio: Stop it Buster: I mean it, Rio Rio: we've done everything we can Rio: it's not fair on me or you to act like we haven't Buster: I just hate this Rio: I know, baby Buster: You're the best thing that's happened to me, this shouldn't be happening to you Rio: It really could happen to anyone Rio: it's shit Rio: but you make me feel safe, that isn't nothing Buster: I'll calm down before you get here Buster: I swear Rio: you don't have to Rio: you can be mad, I am Rio: but you don't need to blame yourself, even if it's second to him, it's all on him Buster: I am angry but you've got the wrong twin if you reckon I'm willing to make any of this about me Buster: I'm here for you Rio: Trust me, I know Rio: she seems distracted herself recently Buster: Yeah? Rio: I'll try to work it out, not had time yet Rio: she won't say anything if you're on the phone though Buster: I don't have to be, if you wanna do some investigating Rio: I know you wanna know too Buster: I know if you get her started she'll talk about herself until you've gotten all of your own bullshit exists Rio: and you're a little nosy too, you can admit it Rio: I'll get the gossip Buster: She's still my sister Buster: 'Course I wanna know if she's being stalked as well or whatever Rio: You're cute Rio: and I do not think it's that Rio: obviously Buster: You know what I mean Rio: I do Rio: that's why I wanna know too Buster: Okay, tell me when you do Rio: 🧐 Rio: wouldn't suit the hat Buster: You'd suit anything, don't lie Rio: 😊 Rio: I mean if that's your thing I'll do my best Buster: If it was that wouldn't be the first you've heard of it Rio: be mad if it was Rio: you have to tell me exactly what you like so I can be it Buster: You are Buster: And I don't have, or want to have, any secrets from you Rio: secrets are boring Rio: and hard to keep Buster: Neither of us could ever be boring Buster: And I'll do whatever it takes to keep you forever Rio: You've got me Rio: not going anywhere Buster: Only closer to where I am, not further away Buster: Soon as your mum is back and your study session is over Rio: not that I need to do this homework now Rio: just be throwing subtle hints at Nance instead Buster: Be fucking typical her if she's getting bullied there as well Rio: I'd know if she was Rio: only have the two lessons with her but contrary to what the stalker suggests, I know most people well enough that they wouldn't Buster: Well Ava'll probably get a love life before she does, Christ knows what else it could be then Rio: ugh don't Rio: it's coming up with Edie for sure Rio: Jun is like Nancy and Billie isn't bothered thank god Rio: hate it Buster: Who's bothered about Edie then? Buster: Tell me your gossip Rio: It's just like the boys she hangs with are less useless stoner and more keep your eye on them types than Billie's friends Rio: and they aren't just friends types, I don't trust 'em Buster: Maybe I should be getting on a plane instead of you Rio: at least none of them are stupid Rio: especially not Eds Rio: have to hope anyway Buster: I've taught her how to protect herself physically, I reckon she can handle lads trying to get in her head Buster: Like you said Buster: She's no stupid kid Rio: Yeah, she has all the tools and advantages she can be given Rio: 💘 and hormones still make people stupid though Buster: I remember Rio: well yeah, ignoring the fact we'd be used as prime examples in that lecture Buster: Sure we have been, never too early for mum and dad to tell Ava what not to do Rio: As if we'll have started a trend Rio: if it wasn't you it'd be a really bad idea Buster: They should want her to have this, how I feel about you, how happy I am Buster: It's not as if they can actually judge us for who it's with Buster: This family are way past that Rio: You'd think Rio: I'm way past caring Rio: it was so Rio: I wasn't me without you Buster: I feel exactly the same, you know I do Buster: The only thing I've ever done wrong was not be with you, every bad thing I did or that was done to me can be traced back to that Buster: We're free now and this stalker isn't gonna make you feel otherwise any more, I'm not letting it happen for another fucking day Rio: we can get through anything, we've got the rest stacked against us and we're still strong Rio: as long as you love me, then there's nothing anyone can say or do Buster: I really fucking love you Rio: I love you Rio: endlessly Buster: [a flight he's booked her like this is happening no matter what excuse us fam] Rio: 🙏 Rio: I cannot wait Buster: Me either Rio: you can pick me up from the airport, right? Buster: Nothing could stop me Rio: Yay 🥰🥰🥰 Buster: You need me to help you with all that luggage Rio: it will be one suitcase Rio: and a sizeable handbag, thank you 😂 Rio: but I still need you Buster: I'll be early regardless Rio: you're the best Buster: No, I do my best, you don't even have to try Rio: You don't either Rio: but I will for you and I appreciate that you do Buster: I appreciate everything that you do Rio: you will Rio: that's the plan Buster: I do, whether or not shit goes to plan Buster: You're one of the strongest people I know, the least I can do is give you the reminder Rio: Buster Rio: it won't always be this dramatic, you know Rio: being together Buster: I don't care if it is, you're worth it Buster: And I'd endure the worst suffering I can possibly imagine to be with you if any alternative meant not being Rio: now you're just being hot about it on purpose Buster: I told you I miss you, nothing's changed Rio: I miss you all the time Rio: but I'm down for all the ways you make it worse Buster: [sends her a pic from when he was at the gym earlier like okay we're testing the waters but not very much yet lol] Rio: oh Rio: yeah, I would've flirted with you too Buster: What would you have said? Rio: Hmm Rio: ask you to check my form Buster: As long as you'd have time for how thorough I'd be, I don't have any problem with that Rio: Of course Rio: I'd ask you because you're clearly an expert Buster: And there's no need for me to hold back on my expertise as you're clearly so receptive to it, not to mention deserving Rio: Don't, I want you to show me exactly how you do it Buster: Never, I wouldn't wanna leave you with more questions than answers Rio: of course, but there are some things I could show you in return for all you're going to teach me Buster: Yeah? Buster: You've got yourself a deal, babe Rio: are you going to let me come to the gym with you really Buster: If you want to Buster: I'll try not to get too distracted at the prospect Rio: you look like that, obviously I want to Buster: [a pic of how he looks now like we can also stay in this bed where I currently am chilling] Rio: 🥺🥺 GIMME Buster: You're not meant to change your behaviour or habits for that cunt, remember Buster: Say please Rio: please Rio: please let me be in that bed right now Buster: [treat that gal to some more pics boy she's had a shit day] Rio: please be with me right now Rio: in me Buster: You know that's all I want Rio: you're perfect, Buster, you know that Buster: We're perfect for each other Rio: marry me Buster: As soon as we can, I will Rio: seriously Buster: I am being serious Rio: oh Buster: Once we're both 18 nobody can stop us Rio: yeah but Rio: nobody would come Buster: I only need you to turn up Rio: technically Buster: And actually, 'cause the rest of my family won't and like you said, I'm past caring Rio: if you were going to do it Rio: you'd want the big day, the venue, the clothes, the car Rio: everything proper Buster: If you were going to do it, you'd want your family there, you can say what you really mean Rio: we can't just do all that for two people Buster: We can do whatever we want Rio: I just wish people would be happy for us Buster: I know, I haven't properly asked you yet 'cause I want everything to be perfect for you and there's fuck all I can do to give you that Rio: it'll never happen, I know that Rio: I've accepted it, it's just hard to make total peace with Buster: There was a time when I reckoned we'd never happen Rio: yeah Buster: I don't care who or how many people I have to turn my back on for you, it'll never matter as much as us being together Rio: it shouldn't have to be like this Rio: it's bullshit Buster: Yeah, but it is, and I've made my choice Buster: You know the things I'd do differently and none of 'em are about not ending up here Rio: Me too Buster: Changing their minds is as likely as us changing ours, it's an old fashioned stand off, like Rio: True Rio: it's like, they forget they're meant to be anti-us sometimes though Rio: and it's just normal, like we're any other couple Buster: Maybe when we've has as many years as my parents, it will actually be considered normal Rio: you reckon? Buster: Worked for them Rio: I guess nan and granddad are sufficiently over it Rio: had competition though, didn't they Rio: don't think that's likely to repeat itself Buster: Fingers crossed Nance is hiding a dark enough secret to take at least some of my parents' attention nevertheless Rio: in your dreams, babe Buster: Why would I dream about her downfall when I could dream about your happiness? Rio: alright 😇 Buster: We're not married yet but in regards to that, what's mine is yours, babe Buster: And vice versa Rio: you know I want it too Rio: to be married to you, and have everything we want Buster: Then I'll make it happen, exactly how you want Buster: Where there's a will there's a way, yeah? Especially when it's my will getting involved Rio: I trust that Rio: you Buster: Good 'cause you can Buster: About this and everything else Rio: then that's settled Rio: and Nance is finally here Buster: I'll still be here if you need me Rio: 🧡🧡🧡 Rio: you focus on doing everything you possibly can before I get there so you can spend as much time with me as we've got Buster: Consider it done

[hoopdiddies]

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 6)

A/N: Y'all I'm so mad cos this is my third attempt in posting this and hoping it would appear as I load my page. Btw, thanks to everyone who supported this series so far, your comments and reblogs really hype me up to write more even when I don't feel like a confident writer ☺ ☺

Summary: You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Warnings: Mentions of drinking, a hangover, fluff, slight swearing and angst.

Word count : 3k+

Tags: @haendel-me-with-care , @mrsdoradominguez-barnes , @mickmoon

Parts: 5 , 4 , 3 , 2 , 1

(Edited)

The first thing you usually expect the second you wake up is the sinking feeling of your plush mattress cradling your entire body, down to the last, visible patch of skin. Your room laced and embellished with an aesthetic ray of sunshine seeping through the gaps of the beige curtains, the light subtly refracting off of every daft corner.

But your current location bodes the contrary. You run your hand over the fabric you're laying on, the familiarity of it arousing you to sit up, ultimately finding yourself on the couch in your living room.

Just as you begin questioning why you're here and not in your own sleeping quarters, a blunt ache spreads in your head and you bring your hands up to your hair, pulling on the roots at the sudden, morning agony. You let out a gritty groan at the throbbing sensation, like someone is bashing you in the head with a hammer that's travelling in the speed of sound. You fall back onto the couch in a low cry to numb the pain, but blessed to find the Aspirin Joe had left last night on the coffee table for you to take– but you don't remember that.

You don't think twice before swiping it from the tray, desperate to alleviate the throbbing. You pop the pill in your mouth and wash it down with the glass of water from the tray, gasping as you feel it swirl down your system. In a breath of relief, you place the glass back on the tray and try to recall every bit that's happened last night.

You get one thing straight; you were heavily drunk and of course, waking up with an apparent hangover decreases your chances of remembering anything the previous night. However you do recall some stuff. Two of them being the moment you had your first drink with your colleagues and Joe arriving a minute after you had your seventh swig, respectively. You wonder if he was the one that took you back.

He has to be. Who else would put essentials, Chinese food and a cup of coffee on the table with a note that has been signed with a blotted 'Joe'?

You wonder where he is at the moment, if ever he's gone home or just presently in the bathroom. As soon as your headache subsides, you get off from the couch, grunting as you stretch your limbs from the position you slept in. You pull on your collar and take a whiff of sweat, perfume and vodka all merged into one, pungent emission. You grimace to yourself, hurriedly making your way to the bathroom to wash up, swearing to never drink like that again.

Upon stepping foot in front of the door, you grab onto the knob and put very little to no thought of what's about to unfurl, twisting it open only to be greeted by a hard bump on your first step in. You yelp as you stumble forward, expecting to greet the floor with a bone breaking kiss yet something hard and meaty cushions you from underneath instead. You lift your head up and lo, you've landed on no other than Ben's clothed chest.

Or rather Ben himself.

What the fuck is he doing here?!

No longer holding back that gasp, you prop yourself up on your hands that are on either side of Ben's head, his face dangerously close to yours with his hot breath fanning against your cheeks.

Since you have both landed on the moist tiles of the bathroom, getting up in a prim position is not going to be an easy task.

"Oh god, um, h-hey." You, unfortunately,utter quickly, your stutter evident. You're an inch away from kissing him and apparently, running out of breath from supporting yourself on your arms, plus your hands are gradually slipping on the tiles thereby lowering you even further.

Ben's bright, green eyes remain as comically wide as they could ever be, the corner of his lips twitching to a small smile as he responds with a hoarse yet guttural, "Good morning."

You have to admit one way or another, his messy, blond hair flopping on all sides and shaping his face in that manner must be illegal.

You shift just an inch to plant your fingers firm on the tiles, hoping to throw yourself off of him by the time you get a good angle to start from. Ben notices your struggle and suggests something else with his cheeks growing redder by the second.

"I'm going to pretend that this isn't awkward and allow you to just fall."

You give him small glimpses due to the agonizing proximity between your faces. "That's a terrible idea. I'm going to end up mushing your face and I know you wouldn't want that."

"You're slipping. You can't launch yourself up in that position." He mutters quickly with how fast you're sinking into him. Counting, you have at least a few seconds before your arms give in to the pressure and you make unwanted contact with Ben's face.

"Come on, Y/N. Joe would be furious by the time he returns and you're not up yet." He teases you and you feel his breath growing hotter along with his accelerated heartbeat as you de-escalate. You wish you could hit Ben for making fun of the situation right now. Rolling your eyes heavenward, you drop your head low and let your arms slide open, your face landing right into the crook of Ben's neck with your upper body slamming against his chest, the impact pushing out a low grunt from him.

Your breath against his neck has left him oddly shivering but you don't notice.

A success, you throw yourself off of him and haul him up along with you. "I won't tell Joe as long as you don't tell Rosy." He banters and you smack his chest playfully. He thanks you and asks how you're feeling after such a night.

You shrug. "I'm fine now after taking that Aspirin."

"Joe's gone out to buy breakfast. The two of us kinda crashed here for the night to look after you." A little bashful, Ben rubs his nape and it makes your heart skip a beat.

"That's thoughtful of you, boys. But what about-" a certain memory flashes in your mind and you recall spotting Ben with Rosy at the pub last night. You don't hesitate to ask him about the possibility of Rosy questioning his whereabouts, leaving out the bit of you seeing them both at the pub. "What about Rosy?"

Ben walks out of the space with you and leans against the wall. "Don't worry, she knows I'm with you and Joe."

You stop yourself from asking him any more questions to avoid friction, especially since you're still hung up on his engagement. You nod and re-enter the bathroom to rinse yourself, pausing halfway to peer at him over your shoulder, a smug smile present in your expression. "Your cologne was insulting."

Ben gives half a shrug, pursing his lips proudly at the fact. "Yours was not bad either, the vodka highlighted it." He chuckles and you tut, closing the door and facing the vanity mirror with your hands clutched on either side of the sink.

You scoff at the fading, crimson glow in your cheeks, even so at the fact that Ben's was just as bright as yours and he could've passed as a tomato at that moment. But that blush was born out of awkwardness.

Yours meant something else.

It definitely is a weird morning.

Half an hour later, Joe returns with a paper bag full of fruits and is welcomed by the sight of Ben having a quiet cup of decaf on the couch, man spreading and waiting for life to happen.

"Hey, mate." Ben greets without bothering to turn his head around. Joe narrows his eyes at your absence from the spot Ben is now kicking back on. "Hey. Where's Y/N?"

"Loo. She's taken the aspirin by the way."

Joe nods, blinking twice. He pads towards the kitchen with the paper bag cradled in his arms, setting them down on the counter and pulling out two apples. Right after wiping your face dry, you step out of the bathroom fresh and sling your face towel around your neck, seeing Joe and Ben chat up with bitten apples in hand. You approach them and take out a seat from the edge of the table, darting your eyes at either of them. "Quick question. What are you boys waiting for exactly?"

"Just for you to finish up. I bought some fruits by the way." Joe reminds you with his mouth full.

"You didn't have to?"

He sighs, less than willing to feel defeated. "But I wanted to, besides," a sly glint twinkles in Joe's eye as he furtively flicks his eyes at Ben who is across him, "I'd be a bad boyfriend if I didn't. My baby's got a hangover and she needs her vitamins." If it were only possible to do an effective spit-take with your own saliva, you would have done it by now. Pretty sure you could hear Ben's breath hitch in his throat.

You don't want to draw your brows together as a reaction to that, it might give away the lie. As much as you want to protest and possibly nudge Joe for not giving you a heads up, this was your doing in the first place and Joe's just keeping up with it, by somehow trying to make Ben jealous...and slightly uneasy. You nod slowly, reaching out to snatch Joe's apple and taking a huge crunch of it as it takes up all the courage you've dredged not to break eye contact with him, before handing it back to a stunned Joe. "Now you're a good boyfriend." You click your tongue and wink back at him, walking away to change your clothes.

Ben would be lying to himself if he denies getting dazed as you gave Joe the eye. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, clearing his throat at how unusual that was. Of course, that was just you playing along and you feel as if you've tainted yourself with that flirtatious ogle.

Throwing a fresh shirt on, your phone lights up with a notification. You find that it's from the institution and it's been a while since they've emailed you.

Apparently your date of departure has been rescheduled to the 26th of February and it's a relief to know that you have a month left to gather important papers and prepare your passport. You tuck your phone away and exit your bedroom. You and the boys talk for a while and share some laughs as you whip up fruit smoothies in the kitchen, the messy tendencies far from being absent between every taunt.

Soon after finishing your drinks and helping you clean up the mess you've made in the kitchen, they remind you of a certain event they'd want to drag you along to.

"What is it? " You ask, wiping your hands.

Joe flails his arms as he gushes. "The Oscars! BoRhap has been put up as potential candidate, according to Brian."

Your eyes widen along with the smile on your face. "No way! Really?"

Ben grins even wider. "Yes, really! The possibility of Rami bringing home a 'Best Actor' award would be huge! I mean, you've seen the film thrice with me, surely you can conclude that his-"

"His performance was flawless. Yes Ben, I said that the first time I saw the film." You trail him off humorously and shift your pleased gaze at either of them. "I'm so happy for you, guys. Really. Rami's not the only one that's deserving of the award. You all do. I'm suing if they don't call the rest of you up the stage."

They let out a prolonged yet soft 'aww' at your faith in them, bringing you in for a tight hug. You enjoy the bliss for a few seconds before letting go.

"By they way, Y/N. When are you leaving?" Your expression flits faster than you could command it to as Joe puts up the question.

Be still, my throbbing fist.

You feel your heart quicken as Ben's smile slowly vanishes, looking mildly confused. "Leaving? What do you mean?"

You never told Joe about keeping it a secret from Ben the first time, the only person you told was Lucy. Taking advantage of Joe's delay to answer, you quickly dive in to speak. "Leaving for...a retreat!"

Not being the answer he expected, Joe opens his mouth to protest, but you give him the look to zip it and luckily, he does, opting to hear the explanation of the your decision later. You turn to Ben whose face couldn't contort any further from being baffled. You reassure him softly. "We're hosting a retreat at work this February. Just a few days out of town."

I suck at lying.

Ben could only ever mouth a soundless 'oh' as a response. Guilt dreads you from inside, knowing very well the pointlessness of hiding something important as you leaving to study medicine abroad from Ben. Your best friend. It sounds melodramatic and you're well aware of that but the possibility of the spark of your friendship going out the moment he says 'I do' is just inevitable.

You feel it in your gut and never have your intuition failed you.

Zoning out momentarily with the boys being oblivious to it, you faintly hear Joe ask Ben the date of his wedding. Your heart races at his significant mention of date. "Rosy and I have been planning it for a week now and decided on the 26th."

"This month?"

"February, mate."

The days went by fast. You felt like a bee working your ass off nonstop for nearly a month. Sure you got breaks, in the summit of weekends but you could rarely enjoy every passing second with a hodgepodge of obligations in mind. You just got off work with extra cash to purchase a new bag to use for when you depart, despite you being scheduled on the 26th of this month. The date didn't put you on edge before Ben's announcement of his wedding date and now, you can't help but worry.

You walk along the lines of luggage bags on display, finally picking out a silver one with the appropriate space to fill. You ask the sales clerk for the price and she tells you it's in no more than 150 pounds, which is enough. While waiting in line to pay, you brush arms with a slightly, taller figure, not bothering to look at them as you apologize.

"Y/N?"

That voice. You dart your eyes to your left, having your mood alter as you find Rosy smiling at you. "Oh. Hey, Rosy. What are you doing here?" You question, nearly impassive. Not that you aren't thrilled to run into her here - not that you are as well - but the best friend versus fiancee cliche is just not something you wanted to deal with in the first place.

"Just purchasing this purse," she waves a silver purse laced elegantly with sequins it before you, "what have you got there?" She gestures to the luggage bag you're holding. You restrain yourself from giving her the 'what does it look like, dumbass' face and answer monotonously, sighing. "Luggage...bag."

"Ah, any plans for the month to be in need of that?"

"Uh yeah. A retreat." Definitely not.

Rosy bobs her head slowly and you take a step forward, your turn coming up. "That's great. Ben and I are flying to LA this weekend to find a venue for our wedding, you know," she gives you a saccharine smile and your stomach churns, not from the news - it's nothing new - but at her delivery. It's as if she's reminding you of the line between you and Ben, and that you should always remain at the end of your line. You're pretty aware of that, you always have been that a reminder is never needed. Your eyes flicker briefly to her right hand by accident, catching an emerald-crusted, engagement ring glistening around her ring finger. The sight of it leaves a hard lump in your throat.

"That's nice. You're really having your wedding outside the country, huh?"

"Why wouldn't we?"

You shrug, pursing your lips and taking a step forward, nearly reaching the counter. "Nothing against it. I just think the expenses would be too much."

She scoffs at you, flipping her red hair to the side in an indirect yet uppity manner. "You know, Ben was right about you being the thrifty one. That's where he got it from."

You're not having any of this today. "It's an honor, in all honesty." You retort with a sarcastic smile before taking the spot in front of the registrar, your response turning Rosy a little sour. After the cashier sticks the receipt to the handle of the luggage bag, you drag it along with you but pause as Rosy reminds you smugly.

"You're invited, remember that."

It almost seems as if she knows how you feel about Ben and on top of that, she's handing you the reminder on purpose to prod you to your limit but you couldn't care less about what she thinks. She's got him. What else does she want?

When you first thought she wouldn't mesh with Ben well, your gut really stood out. But Ben loves her for possibly a couple of reasons and with nothing particularly overlooked so you have no choice but to accept that she will be playing a huge part in his life.

Their wedding day is the day you leave anyway, so that advantage has saved you the pain and the killer heels. It should be the very least of your worries.

You brush off her words and set a course for home, eager to slam the door shut and sleep through the entire stress.

On your way to your car, your phone rings for the seventh time today and you answer, opening the trunk to put your luggage bag in. "Hello?"

"You know it's stupid, I'm just behind you and this feels pointless."

You turn on your heels quickly and shake your head in bemusement even with your blood rushing headlong, putting your phone back into your pocket and nearly throwing a fist at Ben who's laughing from the shock on your face as you turned around.

How convenient.

I was just thinking of you.

"You idiot, what brings you here? I thought you had a convention to go to or something."

He jerks his shoulders up and takes a few steps closer to you. "Just took off from it. I came by to pick up Rosy."

It has become a challenge to maintain the look you have on right now. "Ah. Kinda ran into her back there."

"Really? What were you buying?"

Your nose crinkles as the breeze blows against your face. "Just a luggage bag."

He hooks his thumbs into his pockets, altering his stance. "For that retreat thing?"

"Yeah. Anyway, you should get in. What kind of fiance are you waiting out instead of making an effort to find her in there?" You taunt him a little and he brings his hand up to his mouth, covering it as to hide the grin that's taken shape. "I'll be in after asking you if you want to tag along to the awards."

You gawk mindlessly at him for a ticking second, scoffing. "For real? No, Ben. You know me. Award ceremonies and parties, especially the ones mostly filled with people who hold their noses up high, are not my strong suit." You express lightly, raising your hand up at him as you politely decline. The amused look on his face is one thing you wish to wipe off but enjoy beholding nevertheless. "Come on. You don't like parties but you've been to mine."

"That's because I did it for you."

"Would you go to this one for me too?" He's pulled off a look that would be hard for you to say no to. You stare up at his hooded eyes with one brow creased, weighing in mind your decision. You sigh in defeat, hoisting your hands up in surrender. "Fine!"

He pumps his fist in the air and cheers. "Yes! Joe's gonna be thrilled with this too."

"Pfft, why?"

"Um, he's your boyfriend? And he needs his date? You're doing this for him mostly? " He reminds you once more in a 'duh' tone, underlining it as a question in answer. It would take you the will of a warrior to resist whacking him in the face with your luggage bag but you're certain you've done that in an alternate timeline somehow. You cross your arms together and turn around to the driver's seat.

"So are you down really?" Ben questions one more time in a nervous tone, making sure of your willingness to go. You climb into your car and slam the door close, rolling down your window and lifting your brows at him, noting. "24th. I got it."

He flashes a contented beam at you and waves slowly. "I'll see you soon." One reassuring nod from you and you turn on your ignition, stepping on the gas and driving just a few feet away from him. You stop the car midway through the exit and peer at the outside mirror through which you see Rosy leap into Ben's arms happily, having him lower her afterwards for a sweet kiss. It doesn't take you a couple of seconds to look away and continue down the road, swallowing the lump in the back of your throat.

The sight still takes a toll on you.

[strawberrygiorno]

Hi there! I love your and Pari's avatar au, and I'd love to hear more about it, so here goes some questions! I think i'll divide them by character (Hope you don't mind me sending them in different asks, I have a feeling there is A Lot to talk about so this could get quite long fjvkasjv) This got kinda long already so for this one I'll only ask about any minor characters you already have figured out(Tome, Tsubomi, Mezato, the BIC, others that won't fit here). What are they all up to?

hehe thank you!! i’m glad you’re so interested omg fkjld i’m flattered!!

this answer got long, so it’s under the cut. also @rosenmarille was the one who wrote out the answer to this ask, just so u all know!!

I am so glad you asked about Tsubomi because out of all the minor characters we probably have the most content for her. She’s actually a part of the group, though she joins rather late, after shou has become a solid member, but before any of them meet momo! 

Known for her particular talent with elegant firebending forms, she’s somewhat of a minor celebrity along the eastern islands of the fire nation, travelling here and there as a performer, similar to how a travelling circus would operate. It’s less about fighting and more about style, a mixture between martial arts and dancing, and she uses fire effectively to accompany her, something that also makes her eventual fighting style unique – precise, even if it means skimping out on brute strength. 

She enjoys that part, though honestly, she could do without all the attention or the pressure to perform perfectly even outside of a show. Not to mention, her manager is an uncaring man who she has no doubt would replace her if she ever let her standard drop. So, with nothing else to do, and no where else to go, she remains. 

The group meets her when travelling the fire nation in search for a teacher for mob – now that shou has agreed to teach earth, they can finally move on to the next element. Reigen remembers hearing about her show before he left the fire nation, so he urges mob and ritsu to come with him (funnily enough, teru and shou conveniently disappear as soon as he brings up the topic). Mob decides to buy snacks for the others and wanders off, only he cant seem to find his way back to the performance tent all of a sudden, and asks a young woman for directions. 

Tsubomi, out for a walk before the latest show, dreads the water tribe boy’s approach, thinking him another fan (has her fame spread that far??), but when he asks for directions to….see her show? She’s not quite sure how to react. If that was his idea of a practical joke, she’s not very amused. 

Later, after she’s taking an applause break after finished her first set, the crowd starts to take a different turn, voices of “Is that the avatar?” growing louder and louder, until the masses part to reveal a very annoyed water tribe boy, though not the one she saw earlier. He crosses his arms just as another boy in blue steps up, looking very sheepish and uncomfortable. Him??

Her manager, quick to think of ways to bring home profit starts announcing their very special guest of today and wait no, that’s not in the program, I don’t know what to do. The boy is brought (shoved) besides her, and immediately she can tell he has no stage experience whatsoever, he can’t even bring himself to say a word. The silence in the tent grows along with the terrible atmosphere this interruption has created, and thinking quickly, she manages to end the show abruptly and with a flash and pushes the avatar backstage. As expected, her manager isnt happy with her, though this time she refuses to let herself be cowed again and starts yelling back, just as the other water tribe boy and a man dressed in overtly tacky fire nation garb rush in, looking worried. 

They start arguing but she cuts them off, then cuts her manager off by tearing off her costume and throwing it to the ground. She quits. Grabs her bag and leaves without another word, angrier than she’s ever been before. The humiliation of dealing with a poorly thought out plan put into motion without consulting her, the embarrassment of having been on the receiving end of the avatar’s prank and getting scolded for it? Bye! 

Meanwhile reigen does his best to calm an angry manager, trying his hardest not to deck him in the face. Mob is worried tsubomi got the wrong idea, he didn’t mean to mess up her show? But ritsu assures him that theres nothing to be done now, and as soon as reigen is done, they decide to find shou and teru as fast as possible (“no, we didn’t break into a rude rich guy’s house and steal his stuff,” Shou says. “stealing implies keeping it,” teru adds.)

As luck would have it on the outskirts of town, after travelling for about an hour, the group runs into a now-tired tsubomi, resting by a tree, and mob hops off the carriage immediately, eager to set the record straight. She seems amused by the misunderstanding and luckily not angry at him, and she agrees to catch a ride with them, at least for a while. Of course, she ends up staying. 

She and ritsu end up having a somewhat interesting relationship as they grow closer, what with both of them being firebenders, albeit with very different bending styles. (though we’ll talk about that more later)

Her relationship with shou is also a lot of fun, since he’s a big influence in teaching her to lighten up a little and they can tend to get into trouble at times. Shou just has that kind of effect on people.

Now Tome. To be honest, she doesn’t have quite as big a role as she should have but that might still develop more as we think of new stuff! Right now she and the rest of the telepathy club members are a bunch of orphans in the earth kingdom, living not very far from where one of touichirou’s military troupes has set up camp, slinking along their shadows and stealing food and supplies whenever they think it won’t show up as missing. They know of the brainwashing that’s happening there though, and even though they haven’t seen them up close, they know there’s a kid about their age with them. 

One night, during a very clear full moon, Tome and the others are roaming around the campsite (its easier when theyre asleep), only instead of food, someone barrels into her from behind at full speed, knocking them both down. To her surprise, it’s the boy they’ve seen at the camp, and he looks to be on the verge of a breakdown. After assuring him that they didn’t have anything to do with the soldiers, they take him back to their cave, and eventually befriend him. Skip to two years later, and by now Teru has gathered a lot more members to their little group, driven by confidence that tome doesn’t know the origin of. He sees himself as the protector of this forest, his “territory”, as he calls it, and has successfully driven the camp of soldiers out some time ago. With nothing else to do, they antagonize other militia and small local authorities as tome and the others watch with ever growing disdain. 

Then, one day, he’s gone. Left behind are the remnants of his gang, though they seem a lot less eager to fight pointlessly. Taking this chance, she strikes a deal with the defacto-leader Edano, and the two decide to join forces and start fighting real problems, with a particular eye on more of these strange earth kingdom soldiers that keep popping up everywhere…. 

NOW the body improvement club. There’s not much to them either, but they’re members of the southern water tribe as well. Back then, the south was in its entire height and glory, and growing up, mob looked up to them a lot. He befriends them after a few of the other kids pick on him for not managing to throw a spear right, or how to sneak up on prey carefully enough, which musashi and the others will absolutely not abide! He and ritsu spend more time with them, and it turns out, ample encouragement and practice was all that mob needed after all. 

Lastly, I regret to say that we haven’t talked about mezato being in this au at all, though that might change at one point :P

[citycfangels]

text: raquel ⇄ charlie

Raquel: knock knock.

Raquel: nevermind forget knock knock almost jokes. Did you forget about the starving really hot girl in your apartment?

Raquel: is this is a hint for me to leave?

Raquel: maybe it isn't but I hope everything is okay. I'm worried.

Charlie: everything is okay, babe. i just ran to someone and i had to say hello

Charlie: i wouldn't forget about my almost naked, hot, starving girl.

Raquel: okay, just making sure. I wasn't thinking up crazy scenarios or anything. Nope.

Raquel: well I hope you wouldn't forget about me. Not even if you get amnesia or something. You're supposed to remember me forever.

Charlie: i wouldn't do that ever, babe.

Charlie: can i ask you something hypothetical, babe?

Raquel: well you're still away but you sure are making up for it by being cute. 😘

Raquel: ... what's the hypothetical????

Charlie: my face and my body makes it up for it, babe

Charlie: okay, i don't know how to say this so

Charlie: imagine a couple in which A and B are 'dating' but B is with C too

Charlie: what if A sees C cheating on them?

Raquel: this is a weird hypothetical. I just want you to know that.

Raquel: what are you trying to say?

Charlie: yeah, it sounds weirder that it did in my head

Charlie: i saw Nathan with another girl a moment ago. i don't know if he saw me but

Raquel: babe, nathan isn't even in town.

Raquel: I am with you and I know that I'm the bad guy in that relationship. I know you think he isn't right for me and that I should be with you, and I already said I would but you don't have to tell me he is cheating on me when he isn't even in town. He wouldn't do that to me.

Raquel: are you sure it was Nathan?

Raquel: i know how my last texts sounded and I don't want to call you a liar and I'm not it's just I was okay knowing that I was cheating on him. I was okay with being a bad person and not giving our relationship a shot. I was fine with being in love with you and not with him even when I knew I should be with him. And I know it's wrong that I might be a bit upset if that was him. I just didn't think someone would actually cheat on me. Maybe flirt with other girls or whatever but I don't know.

Raquel: shouldn't you be happy about this?

Charlie: then he lied to you.

Charlie: i know it sounds crazy but it was really him, with one of the girls that came to his promotion party. it may sound like something i'd say so you can finally break up with him, but it's not.

Charlie: no, it's not, i guess. i've never been in your position but i would have probably be upset too.

Charlie: as for me, i don't know. a part of me is because i always thought he was going to do something sooner or later to fuck things up between you two, but the other part of me doesn't want to see you upset.

Charlie: i'm sorry i'm the one breaking it to you.

Charlie: wait, did you just say you're in love with me?????

Raquel: no, if anyone had to tell me he was cheating on me I'd rather it be you.

Raquel: I'm sorry that you have to tell me and that I'm being this weird. I shouldn't care.

Raquel: I guess I'm not upset. I just I don't know. It just means our relationship went longer than it should have if we both weren't in it. It's just I was fine with being the bad person in this. It's just shocking to know that he wasn't the person I thought he was.

Raquel: of course I'm in love with you.

Charlie: no, i think it's something normal. you were in a relationship with him, even if you weren't as invested as you are in ours. still, i'm okay with you being weird about it.

Charlie: besides, i can't tell you how to feel about it. i had a feeling about him, but i hoped he was a good man. it was shocking to see him with his tongue down someone else's throat.

Charlie: damn. now i'm here smiling while looking at my phone like an idiot in the middle of the street.

Raquel: maybe I should just be happy for him. Maybe he found someone to be with just like how I'm with you.

Raquel: he is a good guy. Unless Im saying cheating makes you a bad person. I don't know because ifit does then I'm worse, right?

Raquel: then maybe you should get out of the middle of the street crazy person.

Charlie: if you tell me he is, i believe you. you're not a bad person for cheating, but there's people who won't see it the same way.

Charlie: who are you calling crazy now???

Raquel: maybe other people don't matter. At least not when it comes to this.

Raquel: I'm still calling you crazy. You're completely crazy. I'm the sane one in this relationship.

Charlie: you're right, they don't

Charlie: what did i do to deserve this attack?

Raquel: at least they don't matter when it comes to this and honestly the only person whose opinion really matters is yours

Raquel: you can't call it an attack if it's the truth.

Charlie: that's it, you just lost the privilege of seeing me cooking while naked, just wearing an apron.

Raquel: what?

Raquel: don't be a tyrannical dictator you cant just start taking things away from me. I can do that too you know. Or I can just go home.

Charlie: in that case i'm open to negotiate as soon as i'm home in a couple of minutes

Charlie: although i could do that without a problem because we're at my place, remember?

Raquel: which is exactly why I can go home if you want to start taking away reasons for me being here. There's no negotiation.

Charlie: oh, so you're there because of the nudity?

Charlie: i think i will cook with nothing under the apron then... if you're also naked.

Raquel: obviously. Nudity and the coffee and maybe the comfortable bed but that's it.

Raquel: do I really have to be naked? I was thinking of wearing a full on nun outfit for a change.

Charlie: and you're not there to see me read and look smart and sexy while i'm at it? now i'm hurt

Charlie: yes, you have. i'm not going to be the only one naked, right?

Raquel: eh maybe I am but that's just a bonus.

Raquel: depends... what are you going to do to convince me?

Charlie: for starters i'm going to cook you a decent meal instead of ordering food, whatever you want me to make with everything i bought. naked, of course, only wearing an apron

Charlie: then we'll see what happens. i haven't thought about it yet

Raquel: sounds like the beginning of a good plan.

Raquel: maybe you shouldn't overthink this. From the sounds of it food, maybe wine and you is a pretty solid plan.

Charlie: a good plan that will likely end up in sex

Charlie: i haven't bought wine but i'm sure i have something in there, you can look for it before i arrive

Raquel: Is that all you think about with me?

Raquel: I'll start the scavenger hunt now. hOpefully I find something good.

Charlie: not always, but it's what happens when i've been in my apartment with you for myself for two days in a row

Charlie: good luck, i'll be there in a few minutes

Raquel: really? So it's only because I've been here and it's not just because your mind just automatically goes to the gutter?

Raquel: So there's no weird stuff I shouldn't find? Nothing you want to hide from me?

Charlie: maaaaaybe yes, maybe not

Charlie: i have nothing to hide, what would i hide?

Raquel: I think that just means definitely yes.

Raquel: I don't know. Stuff. There could be a lot of things you can hide at your place. A collection of weird dolls, drugs, other girl's panties. The list is endless.

Charlie: busted

Charlie: i don't do drugs, i haven't fucked any other girl since we started being somewhat serious and i don't have creepy dolls. and the porn is on my laptop, so you won't find any porn either

Raquel: big time.

Raquel: Okay. I believe you. Not like you would find anything at my place if you did want to go snooping. i don't have anything from you

Charlie: i thought you'd have at least one t shirt at this point

Raquel: If I did I wouldn't be hiding it. Your t shirts are only yours while you wear them. Once they go on me they're mine.

Charlie: oh? then i'm never get them back?

Raquel: nope. They're mine now.

Charlie: well, keep them. i don't really mind you having them to be honest

Raquel: so should I take that as code for "sure babe, you can have all my shirts"?

Charlie: yes, you can have them. i can always buy new ones anyways and you look good in them

Raquel: you do know that that just means that you'll just always be buying shirts.

Charlie: i only ask you to not steal too many of them, or else i'll have none to wear

Raquel: you not wearing a shirt wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Charlie: in private, but me not wearing one in public and attracting too many girls at work? you're sure you want that?

Raquel: .... maybe I don't. You did say that you weren't seeing other girls so if we are going back to being exclusive, exclusive then they can look but they can't touch.

Charlie: i wasn't seeing other girls, so yeah, i can do that. i have no intentions of having anything with someone else if that's what you're asking

Raquel: it's not exactly what I was asking but it sorta is.

Raquel: there's just me for you and I know that now. I just wasn't sure if we were on the same page or not.

Raquel instagram post: https://78.media.tumblr.com/30e75391e84d85e259bea50f5133086d/tumblr_or6lnecFwu1w7ltgxo1_500.jpg Quellersmal When you’re completely okay with the thought of never wearing pants again. #mymanisnttheonlyonewithabs #nopantsforme #noshirtsforhim

Charlie: we are in the same page and you can have my shirts

Charlie: and by the picture you just posted, it seems like you're going pantless

Raquel: yessss I get a new part of my wardrobe.

Raquel: any objections?

Charlie: nope, no objections. you know i like your ass so much, so you won't hear a complaint from me

Charlie: it may distract me, but i won't whine about it, babe

Raquel: well distracting you is what I'm best at even if I do want you to get through your books.

Charlie: you're the best at it. your ass is distracting, especially when you're not wearing pants

Charlie: what if i don't read today and we do stuff together? watching a movie, for example

Raquel: sure we could do whatever you want. I think us taking a break from sex will actually be just what your neighbor wants. Either she is just not a nice person or she is just sick of hearing us. I went out and saw her and let's just say I didn't get a warm welcome. Hopefully for neighborly sake she is nicer to you.

Charlie: which one of them? is she the blonde one?

Raquel: yeah, I think she said her name was Candice or something.

Charlie: oh

Charlie: she's a bitch, don't pay attention to her. she's probably jealous.

Raquel: jealous? Why would she be jealous? She's a knock out and if I were completely single and in a world where you didn't exist maybe I would try to hook up with her

Charlie: i don't know, it was a guess

Charlie: i know, she's hot, but i find you hotter, babe

Raquel: I don't think I'm someone pther people would be jealous of. Even if I am pretty lucky and I have you.

Raquel: you are winning a lot of boyfriend points. But since when is leggy beautiful blonde not your type?

Charlie: yesh, you're lucky bc you're with me, but you're hot and smart, so that's hitting the jackpot

Charlie: i'll be honest with you: i hooked up with her once, she became clingy and i don't do clingy

Charlie: don't worry about her, okay? she may be jealous and bitchy but i'm with you, babe

Raquel: when did you hook up with her?

Raquel: was it when we were together?

Charlie: no

Charlie: it happened at some point in those four months after we broke up. i can't recall when, but we weren't together at that point, that's for sure

Charlie: she's the only girl i regret hooking up with, and that says a lot coming from me

Raquel: right, because you have hooked up with so many girls.

Raquel: it's not that I don't appreciate your honesty. I do. I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel knowing that some girl you hooked up with a) lives so close and b) still acts like she has some sort of claim over you.

Raquel: I guess I was okay with not knowing who you hooked up with but now it's like I can picture it. You with her and I hate it because I know I shouldn't worry. I know I should just be fine with it but right now I don't know.

Raquel: I'm not upset but maybe I should go home (unsent)

Charlie: she's pretty much aware of me not wanting anyone but you at this point, so she won't make a move. or at least i hope she doesn't pull off any shit.

Charlie: the only girl i want is you, babe. isn't that enough? she may live next door, but i wouldn't go to her ever, not even if things get rough between us.

Raquel: are you 100% sure? I don't want you to wake up one day and realize that you want her and just go next door because I am in this. There is no one else for me. What happened with Nathan and us breaking up was a mistake. I know that now and I know you're saying I'm the only girl you want now, but I don't want those to be just words. You gave me time to figure things out and if you need the same then I can give you time. I just don't want you making a decision you might regret later. She isn't the only one that can be clingy or obsessive.

Charlie: babe, why are you insecure?

Charlie: sure, she's hot, she has the legs and the body and she looks like a damn model, but that means nothing to me if she's ugly inside. you're beautiful outside too, but what makes you different from her is that i fucking like you for who you are. you're beautiful inside.

Charlie: i would never go to her, i'm 100% sure of that. i don't even need time to think about it.

Raquel: I'm insecure because the fact that you're with me still baffles me. You could be with any girl in the world.

Raquel: can you just come home please?

Charlie: i could, but i chose you

Charlie: let me take the elevator and i'll be there

Raquel: i guess I choose you too. And I'm going to keep choosing you until you get sick of me.

Raquel: chop chop.

[existentialstatesofmind]

Weekend Fun

Clare: nodded. She didn't ask people why they didn't go to church or try to convince them to come with her. Everyone had the right to chose whether to believe or not. Or to practice a religion or just to believe in God. "I don't get a vote. We always do lent no matter what else is going on, end of story. Of course I could lie about participating but I wouldn't feel right about that. Lent only lasts forty days. So I can cuss again starting in April but I rarely do anyway. We have a swear jar and usually it's Dad who fills it up. He sneaks money back out when Mom's not around." Clare chuckled. "Yeah I will watch my mouth around her, I don't want to be responsible for teaching Emi curse words not even fake ones. Darcy and I always used 'sugar' in place of...a similar sounding 's' word." Clare smiled when she heard that neither him or his grandpa really cared about Dakota choosing a rich girl as long as she wasn't a gold digger. “We‘re fifteen. I want to go on fun dates. If I had a boyfriend and we went to something a little expensive like a concert, I’d buy my own ticket.” She shrugged. "Seriously? Women do that?" Clare asked aghast when Dakota said girls hung out in the lobby looking to meet a rich guy. “It’s the twenty first century! These aren’t girls our age right? But I don't care how old and desperate I was, I'd never degrade myself. It sounds to me like they’re just too lazy to work or they would be trying to apply for a job at your grandpa’s office instead.” Clare assumed these women had to be grownups because teenagers didn't worry about money. This was probably the first time she'd ever thought this much about whether her family had enough. Apparently Monica was more pathetic than Clare had thought. "You don't have to worry about me copying you when we hang out. I won't pretend to be someone I'm not or change for anyone. Besides I wouldn't want to date someone who said they liked all the same stuff as me either. Even if it were actually true, which is almost impossible, our dates would be really boring. It might be good to date someone you have some stuff in common with so you have shared interests to talk about but life is a lot more interesting if there's someone to challenge you and teach you new things." Clare said honestly. "For example, I never heard of that song you played on your guitar earlier and if you don't introduce me to their music, I probably will miss out on it altogether because I usually just listen to pop music or old rock songs. I think it's a good idea to go on a couple of dates before jumping into a relationship with anyone. Maybe I could've avoided dating K.C if we had, and I did find out I didn't want to date Eli during our trial period." Clare listened to the rest of what Dakota had to say. "I agree, you shouldn't date anyone who is jealous of a five year old. There are going to be times where you’d rather stay in or take Emi places with you and she would need to understand that. As well as respect the fact that you need to spend time just with Emi even if it takes time away from your girlfriend. If she has her own life, she shouldn’t mind.” Clare said trying to subtly let Dakota she wouldn’t care about Emi coming first. “Well no one wants to date someone who asks you to give up your friends. It’s kind of a two way street, the girl might have guy friends she’s close to. But if it were me I wouldn't be kissing anyone else or sitting in other boy's laps and I'd expect the same courtesy." Clare smiled at Stacy. "Yeah, he's really affectionate. Even towards his friends." She just nodded about the working out thing. That wasn't a deal breaker for her, she could learn how to help him if they dated. Dakota probably didn't think she was fat since he put her on his lap. "Okay. Blankets are helpful.” Clare smiled shyly at Dakota as he made it clear he would cuddle with her. “I always sleep in pajamas but I don’t sleep in my bra, I’ve tried to before at friends’ houses and it’s really uncomfortable.” She faced forward once she made sure there wasn’t a girl. She laughed at Dallas’ teasing. Clare was kind of glad it was just Dakota getting a design idea. “I’d probably kiss you back.” She whispered.

Kota: listened to Clare as she spoke and looked at her. "We don't have a swear jar here. Everyone would be broke." he stated honestly. "We do that too, I sometimes say 'son of a biscuit.' which makes her laugh. Dallas says 'ship' and we just have our own thing. She knows they're to replace bad words, but won't use them because she doesn't know the bad words she's replacing." he explained. He listened to Clare mention the dates and nodded at her. "I want to do that as well. The most expensive date I'd probably take a girl on would be to Wonderland." he nodded. A soft chuckle fell from his mouth when Clare mentioned the women in the lobby. "Yea, there are teens there our age, but they're there to be interns or something. I had a girl our age ask me where an office is to meet someone another time I was followed by a guy our age as well and he didn't have clearance to be on the floor I was going on. He probably just wanted to see how high up I am or something." he shrugged. "But yes girls our age also look for rich boyfriends, they're just blunt about it. Monica wants a rich boyfriend to take her on expensive dates. Crystal, her friend likes older guys, Justine a girl in different class, she likes one of the teachers." he informed. As she spoke about Monica being fake as well as the couple having different interests in things as well as things in common and knew she was right. "I think that we were all where we were supposed to be. You were supposed to date KC and Eli for some reason. Past relationships make you stronger for the future relationships." he said and looked at his lap when she mentioned him being affectionate, then at her when she mentioned the blankets. "Well, you can sleep in my room if you want now that we know the sleeping arrangements." he offered unsure of what she wanted to do. Hearing that he'd kiss him back, he took the initiative by putting his hand under her chin and bringing his lips to his only to press his lips against hers and slide his tongue into her mouth.