#shitty movie reviews by yours truly

[cursedvida]

It's really crazy to me to see the hate Mae gets, like I was reading some reviews and I can understand not liking a character but as soon as they start with the name calling their opinion is invalid to me because they have no reason to be calling her a bitch, among other things, like it just reeks of mysogyny, (it's like they just want an excuse to call women names) and seeing it coming from other girls makes it worse like..

"Oh the girl was such a bitch why did she do that 🙄" ..is it really that hard to think for a moment about the circumstances in which mae was raised?? Do they need it spell it out for them?? Like, c'mon guys do you really think that the people trapped in a bunker for generations have anything nice to teach/say about the apes?? Wes Ball please give us Mae's backstory in the sequel!! Your audience needs it bc they are out there calling Mae the real villain and saying Proximus was right 💀 (when he was literally everything Caesar hated in an ape)

Look, I'm usually a polite person when expressing my opinions, but I'm fed up with the hate towards Mae, basically because the arguments people give seem incredibly basic to me, typical of people with little to no understanding. Sometimes I doubt if these people have watched the same movie as me or maybe they have some sort of cognitive dissonance, but seriously, I find them ridiculous. Either that, or they are basically the typical comments from misogynistic guys or women with internalized misogyny who can't stand morally gray and questionable female characters.

And well, having said that, I'm going to present my doctoral thesis on this topic:

One of the things I've seen the most is people saying that Mae is evil, the true villain, or an ungrateful traitor to Noa. This argument seems quite incomprehensible to me because, even though we don't have much data about her, I believe there's something very important that explains why she acts as she does: the Proximus apes killed the people in her group, including her mother. I mean: her damn mother. If we add to that the UNDERSTANDING (I mean, you have to be very short-minded not to assume something so obvious) that she has been raised in an environment where they've probably told her all her life that the apes are the reason for all the evils of humanity and the main reason why humans live in shitty conditions, I think anyone with half a brain has enough information to understand why she does what she does.

Yes, Noa is a good guy, but he's not helping her. Noa and Mae have a common goal and decide to ally themselves momentarily to achieve that goal, which is to reach Proximus. As much as they've formed a bond throughout the story, it's not yet strong enough for Mae to set aside what she has worked for so hard. Mae not only bears the weight of humanity on her shoulders but also emotionally carries the idea that she, as the sole survivor of her group, must complete the mission at all costs. Are those who criticize her telling me that if they truly thought that with certain actions they could not only save their species but also honor their loved ones who have been killed infront their eyes, they wouldn't do them? And that they wouldn't do them for someone they've just met, no matter how much they like them? That's just not realistic, it makes no sense. We would all do the same as Mae in her situation. I mean, I have no doubts.

Another thing I love is when they say she's the "true villain" as if it weren't clear enough that she feels bad every time since she forms a bond with Raka and Noa when she does something that she knows may harm them. She feels pain for Raka's death and clearly, you can also see the conflict and remorse when she detonates the bomb. It's not something she enjoys doing, but she HAS to do it. In the final scene, even though she's carrying a gun, you can also clearly see her in conflict with herself. Clearly, she doesn't want to kill him. Clearly, she has nothing against Noa, and this is evident when she finally accepts the necklace and they even shake hands. You can't tell me that's the attitude of a villain, narratively it's not presented as such, and seeing it that way is to have understood nothing.

Mae is a complex character whose life is based on survival, she's no different from the characters we're used to loving and idolizing in other post-apocalyptic series, the difference here for me is that she's human and humans have to be bad by default and also that she's a woman. Because female characters always have to be the support, the romantic interest, or the unconditional friends of heroic male characters, and Mae is none of that. Mae is a character with her own story and ambitions that go beyond Noa's plot. Mae has her own plot, and it seems that's something that bothers people a lot.

I'm sorry, but the hate towards Mae seems very similar to the one people had for Sansa Stark in Game of Thrones, which basically stemmed from people being misogynistic and hating complex and imperfect female characters, combined with how much they hate seeing protagonist characters with such human and real characteristics that they can't bear the idea of seeing themselves reflected in them.

But hey, for Sansa Stark, I would have killed, and now for Mae too. Mae haters basically DNI

[sexychicazombiegirl]

I thought I was going fucking crazy seeing all of these videos praising how romantic nosferatu was. Vampirism is historically associated with sexual assault. Count Orlok might have perished in the end, but only at the expense of taking Ellen’s mind, body, and soul. It was not a taboo love story. It was extremely sexual, but not romantic. A lot of people can’t put aside their own fantasies and kinks to take this movie for what it is; Disgusting and disturbing (which isn’t a bad thing). I don’t give a frog’s fat ass if anyone’s attracted to him physically (though I can’t relate), as long as everyone knows he’s truly a monster in the film. I don’t think everyone is incapable of nuance, but it was getting so fucking annoying and exasperating. Also, every negative review of the movie; I can’t disagree, lol. I still enjoyed the film.

Anyways, I’m finally seeing videos sharing the same sentiments that I do. I just had to get that off of my chest. At the end of the day, who gives a shit, right? People are gonna live their lives ✌🏼✌🏼

Edit:

I guess this is more of a personal interpretation of the film. Anyone can interpret the film however which way they see fit. That’s the beauty of art. I’m not opposed to morally ambiguous content, in fact I think we need more of it to challenge people.

In my perspective, I found no comfort in the “relationship” between Ellen and the Count. I did not think about the Victorian shame surrounding sexual freedom and desire. I saw Ellen being plagued by horrors beyond her comprehension. And the fact that she was intruding in on a family with her bullshit, lol. The ending made me feel remorseful for for Ellen. I did not see her bravely facing her fears or her trauma. It felt like she was eaten alive, like her body was dissolved in shitty toilet water.

Maybe I need to see the film again? I probably will at some point in the future (when it’s free). I know this might seem trivial, cause who gives a fuck?? I guess I just feel so strongly about it :/

Again, that’s how I personally feel (I know how you girls like to tussle). People are getting so mad about others saying how “Count Orlok groomed her” or “Count Orlok is a rapist”. The counter argument is “Well, you idolize “_______” and they’re not exactly good people. The movie is FAKE!!!”. Victorian sexual shame, Gothic style films that are actually grotesque, being back media literacy, BLAH BLAH BLAH!! Like, take your own advice and relax Lmaoo. They have just as much of a right as you to point that out, just like you have every right to interpret the film how you like. Do whatever you want!!! Don’t be surprised when people don’t fuck with you cause of that. Who cares? Life goes on!! Watch it again! 😂

[bitter-sweetener]

Bitter's Hellraiser Movie Review

Okay so, over this past weekend I watched every* single Hellraiser movie. There are 11 in total, 10 from the original franchise and 1 modern "reboot". I watched the very first one and Pinhead immediately became my newest hyper-fixation. I'm a freak weirdo into freak weirdo shit because my brain is a little funky. I will be posting my complete thoughts (+ analysis) under the cut. Short end of it: I loved it. It's a classic. Watch the first one at the very least. I think the reboot was really worth watching. You must have some whimsy to enjoy the rest. 6 + 7 are watchable but honestly the average viewer would not like any of the other movies. Do not watch Revelations. I love some really TRASH media, so you know that is truly a shit movie. Spoilers!

Okay. Now that the normies are gone, here we go.

I have said it once and I shall say it again, Pinhead is a psychological horror villain in a slasher movie world. I am aware of the books Hellraiser is based on, and also the comic books. Best believe I WILL be reading those as soon as I can get my grubby little fingers on them. Anyway here's my review:

Hellraiser: I love 80's horror aesthetics. I love anything with practical effects. But most importantly, I love the whole idea of Pinhead and the cenobites. I thought it was a very fun horror movie. The no skin makeup really weirded me out, not in a bad way but in a probably unintended way. I really fell in love with Pinhead. "The box! You opened it, we came." I love that Pinhead was ready too make a deal with Kirsty. Seemed flirty to me idk. (There is something about media about a sadomasochist wanting you that makes my brain go bur.) I feel like up until the point where the Cenobites appeared, this was going to be a slasher movie. Once you see that they can be reasoned with in some way? They hit that very yummy to me psychological horror field. I think that was the point where I needed to see more of him. My only complaint about the movie is that Pinhead wasn't in more of it. If you like Hannibal (tv), you'd like Kirsty/Pinhead and vice versa. 5/5 stars. Also Frank saying come to Daddy made me laugh so incredibly hard. Will re-watch this.

Hellraiser ii: Hellbound. This was a really good sequel. It picks up RIGHT where the previous one leaves off which I thought was nice. I'm so glad that they stuck a bit to the very obvious psychological horror route with this movie, letting Tiffany go free due to her catatonic state. "It is not hands that call us. It is desire." The cenobites aren't completely evil in that regard, and I think that is what truly makes for an interesting antagonist whereas Frank and Julia are kinda just shitty people. I REALLY WISH that they continued more on that route with the rest of the movies. I feel like they completely disregard that aspect of the Cenobites later which just makes the deaths boring after a while. But again I'm calling it a 5/5 stars from me. Will re-watch this. There's a moment with this weirdly wet baby doll on screen with sewn together lips? Seeing that sent me to a new dimension. Pinhead wants Kirsty soooooo bad. "We have eternity to know your flesh." Down BAD.

Hellraiser iii: Hell On Earth. I ship Terri and Joey. The scene in Joey's apartment??? Lesbian alert. Loved that. The weird baby returned but this time not wet, but dangling in a circle of barbed wire with a blindfold on. Fucking amazing. Who's idea was that. Who NEEDED that to be featured so desperately. Also I fucking love that Hell was like encased in this weird af art piece thing. I love that we got some Elliot in this movie! I think merging the two fully solidified that Pinhead isn't all beast. I thought it was fun watch. 5/5 also. I love this original trilogy as a trilogy. "I AM THE WAY." I loved the church scene.

Hellraiser 6: Hellseeker. I watched the movies out of order. This one is the most worth watching of the follow up movies just for continuity. But I thought it was very boring. The set up for this movie is more about taking you through someone else's specific hell and not just the act of being brought to it. I love that we get Kirsty back. Pinhead WILL get his girl. "You opened the door long ago and it will not be closed until I get what I came for. It was a nice closeout to her story, a nice little epilogue. I MAY re watch it, just for Pinhead, but probably not. 3/5. "Welcome to the worst nightmare of all. Reality." He was SO real for that omg. I love this franchise because a lot of it lets the female protagonists get revenge and I loooveeeee when women are vengeful.

Hellraiser 4: Bloodline. They are in space? And there's some lore of the box that is in the past and not in space? But this is honestly a shit film. I thought it was boring. The scene with the twins was GOOD. Perhaps the single good thing about that movie. But mostly I don't remember anything about it at all. 2/5. "I am so exquisitely empty." Yeah babe, so was this movie.

Hellraiser 5: Inferno. Similar to 6 in how its once specific guy's specific kind of hell. The male protagonists (?) suck in this franchise. It gave me a bit of a Hannibal (tv) vibe when the guy sits down with the therapist. I'm calling him "this guy" because I cannot be bothered to look up his name because it was so boring. Honestly I also BARELY remember this movie. 2/5 "Welcome to hell." I do really think Hannibal would like Pinhead. They would just love each other's work I think. I started daydreaming about a Hannibal and Hellraiser crossover. Because as mentioned, I AM a freak weirdo.

Hellraiser 7: Deader. STUPID NAME for a movie. That being said I enjoyed this one! Like a fair amount. Another great female protagonist. I really liked seeing her gathering evidence to investigate. I hated the cult leader type guy. I just thought he was fucking stupid. If it wasn't a Hellraiser movie I may have liked it more. Because the Cenobites are kind of just there? This would work as a better stand alone type of horror cult movie. I think Hellraiser was just trying out all kinds of troupes and whatever. "You should be very careful what you wish for. It just might come true." 3/5 I remembered the plot this time.

Hellraiser 8: Hellworld. This is just a slasher film that they glued Pinhead into the end of. It was giving SAW vibes at one point. With the chair with the blades that sever the arteries in your neck. I don't particularly like Saw. Just doesn't tickle me. I will admit to fast forwarding through bits of this because I just did not care all that much. I watched it only so I could store the scenes with Pinhead into my brain, and even that part was like eating holographic meatloaf. 1/5.

Hellraiser 9*: Revelations. There is that * again! Did you forget about it? Yeah I got 5 minutes in, said yo why is this SO BAD, read that this film was rushed and made mostly to keep the licensing, and then PROMPTLY shut that shit off. 0/5. Negative one million. If I opened the box, the hell I would be dragged into would include being forced to watch this movie.

Hellraiser 10: Judgement. Better than the 9th movie that's for sure. Once again, I cared very little for the man who's story the film this movie was ultimately about. These men genuinely have no personality outside of kinda just being a jackass. I did like the auditor. I thought he was pretty cool! I liked the visuals in this movie, very very gross and gory. I liked the idea of heaven sanctioned evil. I liked that Pinhead was like, lady I do not care who you are, fuck you and fuck that guy you were trying to save. I think it's stupid that he was sent to "reality" as punishment. I think it's stupid that he was punished for that. Free my boy from the confines of reality and allow him to experience the sweet pain of the flesh once more! 2/5 "After all, evil seeks evil." I also want to say that Pinhead being unwilling to strike a deal with this guy is further proof that Kirsty is special and that he should get his girl.

Hellraiser 2022: OKAY PINHEAD IS HOT. FEM PINHEAD IS SUPER SEXY. THEIR VOICE????!?!?!?!?! FUCKING WOAHHHHHHH. Also there is gay people!!! I love gay people. Honestly I thought this was a really compelling story. I think Hulu did the franchise justice. It was just very visually appealing. There were a lot of layers in a way, similar to how the first few movies had these layers of evil to them. I really liked that. I will watch this again. I just think it was a good movie. Voight's transformation was quite captivating at the end. I like that we had the Cenobites working with some kind of code again, like god intended. One of my favorite scenes is the one where Nora gets got. "...heaven. There's no music in that." It's just REALLY HOT sadomasochism vibes and I'm here for it. Maybe I'm just fucked up and gay though. 5/5 stars. It was worth getting through the bad movies for this beautiful creation.

If you read this whole thing I love you and I'll see you in hell <3

[reaganwnicole]

We Live In Time Was A Waste Of My Time

Yesterday evening around approximately 8pm I made the biggest mistake of sitting down for the biggest waste of 108 minutes I've ever experienced. I don't know if it is Nick Payne to blame, John Crowley, the cast or maybe it is just everybody.

As a society I thought we moved past the whole "my mom has cancer, my mom died of cancer, my wife has cancer" gimmick. When I consume any media with that plot point all that plays in my head is the fucking 2008 loss meme. This movie was the movie that meme was actually talking about. Every non-minority character in any media that needs some sort of oomph gets thrown the cancer card and I am sick of it. They don't even give the stereotypical storyline a twist or something to stand out, they just give you Andrew Garfield nonstop crying for an hour and a half and a Bear ripoff side plot.

On the note of the Bear, the most intriguing point of the movie was Almut and her chef competition, and they still managed to ruin that. Imagine borderline guilt-tripping a woman to have your babies, she gets cancer because of it, and then right before she dies you disapprove of her dreams. Did she end up going to the competition? Yes. Did he end up supporting her there? Yes. Did she get to continue on to fulfill her life's wish? No! Though one could argue it was ultimately her choice to leave the competition with her husband and kids do you truly expect me to believe half of the reason wasn't guilt?

In short, people's shitty letterboxed reviews were wrong. Andrew Garfield is ugly, the whole movie was predictable, and yes I will laugh when I see Andrew Garfield's bare butt on the big screen. When she was skating in the end I sat there and thought "She is going to fade away isn't she." and fade away she did. Then after no comment to the daughter about the mother just the fucking dog and some eggs. I believe we need to get Ari Aster to go get Toni Collette and tell this story from her point of view and THEN this story will get its Oscar.

[tennessoui]

Hey Kit!! This past year when the Acolyte came out, my heart broke and I decided to step away from Star Wars. It’s fine that others liked it but personally I didn’t; actually to be frank, I REALLY didn’t like it. Star Wars and Anakin got me through a lot, so watching Disney take an actual shit on his origin and then his redemption ark by half-assing the lore, felt like a punch to the gut, and I had to step away. (This is my personal opinion, if you or others liked it that’s great! I just didn’t). However, when I saw that u published the body politics au, I decided to sit down and catch up on all your fics (btw I love the Hanahaki one!), and it got me back into the fandom. I’m glad one shitty (imo) show didn’t push me away permanently and I have you to thank for that. I’ve met so many great people thru Star Wars and made a lot friends so it had really been kind of hard to turn away from it. I just really wanted to say thank you. your writing is, as always, too beautiful and inspiring to ignore. Star Wars means so much, and I’m so thankful that your work was able to help me look past all the stuff that made me unhappy with it. I hope you have a wonderful day!!

this is very kind to send to me and a very nice morning read! i admit, i actually have not watched the acolyte, though not for any particular reason. i've definitely heard mixed reviews about the show and its take on the jedi order and the sith, which have been sorta sad to read cause i do like the jedi (though i guess i never label myself as pro-jedi cause like? they're the good guys? you're not like. pro-percy jackson or something right? pro-katniss everdeen? you just sorta read the book and you're like oh yeah these are the good guys. might find aspects of a character annoying but i'm definitely not supposed to be rooting for the Capitol or smething right)

but i've also heard from other people that as a pew-pew show, it delivers on that front! lightsaber fights are cool and everyone has a funky haircut that they pull off somehow which does feel quintessentially star wars

my general view of the disney plus star wars shows is that i'll watch the ones that strike my fancy, and if one of them doesn't then i won't. the star wars disney execs produce a lot of content (and i truly mean content, i.e. material to be consumed - not necessarily art) and a lot of it i'm probably never going to watch. it wasn't made for me, and i definitely get the lurch and disappointment you may feel if you look forward to something for ages and then it's not what you wanted in a thousand small ways or a handful of big ways. i think that's especially hard to guard against nowadays when trailers for tv shows rely more on aesthetic and punchy one-liners and brief second cameos than they do explaining the actual story of the show

but you can be a fan without loving the direction some shows go in or the choices directors make!! if that looks like only watching shows that have been peer-reviewed, or if that looks like ignoring everything but a small corner/subset of a massive fandom, or if that looks like turning from the media itself and diving further into fanart and fanfiction and interacting with people online then that's what it looks like! especially now that the world of canon star wars media isn't just 6-9 movies + 2(?) non trilogy movies, you should absolutely go about watching star wars content with a you-first mindset 100%

you know how many people were disappointed in the obi-wan kenobi series?? soooo many because he was a sad little pathetic and broken man with greasy hair. but that's exactly how i like my obi-wan kenobis, so i was thrilled every episode lol but i'm sure other people hated it and boycotted and whatever. but i found my corner of the fandom who also enjoyed that and it's been wonderful <3

so anyway thankyou so much for your very kind words i hope none of that sounded too preachy i was mostly trying to agree with you that it's really great that one (shitty) show did not keep you away from the fandom forever and that you're back!!

welcome back :)

[cipheramnesia]

Today I am asking myself why do I like Terrifier and Terrifier 2. There doesn't have to be a reason for it, and I struggle to find any merit to them other than the dubious quality, inventiveness, and excess of the gore and violence. Maybe that's it, and probably that is literally all there is to the movies - fans all say as much. And if your only thoughts on Terrifier are "I hate that shitty movie," honestly that's fair, more than reasonable, but this post isn't for you so kindly skip along by.

But also the movies don't hit for me in the same way as a bloody rollercoaster ride movie does. For some reason I am unable to comprehend, my mind is insisting the movies are good on an artistic level - my brain insists there is artistic merit, although it steadfastly refuses to disclose what that might be. This isn't an endorsement, by the by, the Terrifier movies are extreme in a way apart from even the French Extremity movement or the whole torture trap Saw era from the USA.

Although in some ways that may be a part of what makes the movies something more than graphic violence alone. They are unpleasant in a way that is malicious - a naked cruelty which in a perverse way is a form of open honesty speaking to truth. There is no detachment from the violence, no easy way to disconnect from it as some sort of mechanical function or take it in as a part of a story. Art the Clown embodies such a totality of unrelenting and unchecked cruelty that it comes around as confusingly refreshing, because it is so rare for any media to be so graphically violent without attempting some framing of the harm - even if only as a plot point. It's masochistic to watch but in a more literal kink way. The Terrifier movies are a safe space to engage with senseless violence and cruelty, to experience the emotional impact of the idea of an uncaring world design only to cause pain, and then to be able to safely leave this mental space physically intact, better equipped for the real world which by nature is not nearly so malicious as Terrifier. Cathartic in the same way as it can be to get whipped or beaten, followed by care and caressing. Maybe.

All that under consideration, a throwaway line from a review has raised a second consideration for me: Are these movies camp? They are wildly exaggerated performances which incorporate large amounts of generally discarded pop culture on purpose. They deliberately incorporate the cheap aesthetics of low budget video nasties, grindhouse movies, and direct to video 80s horror. Everything about Art the Clown and his violent acts is severely over the top from his facial features to his makeup to his mannerisms which are those of a mime rather than a clown. I think it's arguable that the Terrifier movies go beyond simply utilizing a retro aesthetic into performing a kind of horror drag - dressing up in the clothes of the 70s-80s but elevating the content into a hyper-grotesque persona that's almost like everything the film censors and critics from that era thought such movies actually were. It's a movie that purposefully becomes the kind of monster conservatives always imagine about horror, just to throw that right in their face. It is, I think, very arguably camp in how much it is purposefully over the top and self-indulgent about what the vast majority of people would (often rightly) dismiss as artless trash.

Which leads me back around to asking myself if I truly believe what I've written, or if I'm merely trying to find an internal and artistic justification for liking violent and misogynistic horror flicks with nothing of else of substance.

[shayshaybiscuit25]

I saw Red One at an earlier screening, so I’m taking anyone talking complete shit about a movie they haven’t seen yet and using negative reviews or low box office stats to talk shit, very personally.

I saw it with my family, it’s a very nicely made feel good movie. I’ve seen shitty movies….Red One isn’t a shitty movie. Could it have been better here and there, sure, but they delivered 100% on Christmas, a message to humanity, family fun and action.

I’d suggest those talking shit, wait for streaming because at least you’ll be able to actually watch the movie first and then realize how pathetic many truly are….LSA fonts, I see you. People think this movie is like Ghosted. lol it’s NOT!

I enjoyed the movie. I expected the audience reviews to be high because the film is good.

Talk all the shit ya want, LSA and Tumblr because Chris has three more movies on the way, keep hoping he fails and not coming to the realization that you’re wasting your life hate watching a guy because of his personal life shit. 😂

Talking about this man in any way….. and her 🙄 only keeps him relevant and makes her think she’s relevant.

This is why I said if you truly don’t like this man, then shit the fuck up and leave the fandom. It’s 2024, y’all haven’t realized that people hate watched the Kardashians to success, dumbasses.

I hope when this bs marriage ends, those individuals obsessed with her, leave the fandom.

I am excited to see it on streaming.

[iliketalkingaboutmoviesandtv]

We're All Going to the World's Fair (2022, dir. Jane Schoenbrun) - A Review

You're wrapped up in bed, headphones on, playing with your laptop. It's 1am and you have school in the morning. You click on the next shitty creepypasta video, but then something happens. It's unnerving, strange, even somehow scary and now sleep is just not going to happen. Every lonely kid with unsupervised internet access has done it and that's what Jane Schoenbrun's We're All Going to the World's Fair feels like; the one creepypasta that was actually scary. The trans filmmaker draws on these formative online experiences for her incredibly strong directorial debut.

Casey (debuting actor Anna Cobb) is a teenager that seeks out distraction in a popular creepypasta "The World's Fair Challenge". After commencing the challenge with a filmed ritual that involves smearing blood on her laptop screen, she continues to create videos which contribute to a growing community and expanding lore claiming to document the challenge's sinister consequences. People say they're losing feeling in their bodies or turning into plastic. Casey is a horror movie fan and decides that it would be fun to live in one. You get the impression she'd like to live anywhere else. Cobb is immediately outstanding, pulling off her portrayal of being young, alone and too online with a similar intimate familiarity to Schoenbrun. The way she looks into the camera can only come from the eyes of someone who has seen a liveleak video.

We never see Casey with friends or family (although we hear her father once) and this loneliness is deeply felt throughout the runtime with us rarely leaving the perspective of a laptop or camera. Where else is an isolated teenager to look to other than the webcam? In the occasional bursts of an outside world for Casey, we see a generic snow covered woods and a barn where her father stores a rifle. The shots in these moments are cold and distant, filled with a general dislike and disassociation with the outside world. Schoenbrun likes their horror quiet and subdued, shots regularly hang still for uncomfortable and odd amounts of time accompanied by a droning and effective score from Alex G.

Like with any good online storytelling, the great tension is whether or not Casey's videos are real experiences and she's a mentally unwell adolescent putting herself at risk or is really an inventive online filmmaker. This is asked in the film by another World's Fair participant. The film also occasionally follows JLB (Michael J. Rogers), a middle aged man who begins messaging Casey, into a massive empty house with the seemingly sole lived in space being his office that couldn't feel further from the girl's bedroom.

I've never seen anything attempt to truly capture being a chronically online youth before, but it's hard to imagine anything doing it better. With it's truly unique and fresh take and style, We're All Going to the World's Fair is a must watch that you'll never forget. Jane Schoenbrun is an extremely unique and exciting voice and I very much look forward to seeing their future work.

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

“MaXXXine” movie review

Short review:

As a love letter to horror and B-movies, I can’t hate it. But still, I can’t deny that the script felt very uneven.

6.5/10 (okay, I’ll be nice and round it up to 7/10)

Long review:

I have a feeling that Ti West is a huge fucking horror/B-movie/grindhouse nerd. Because as someone who loves shitty horror movies (I say that affectionately), this felt like a love letter to the genre. It’s weird, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie about Hollywood that is centered around horror movies. Usually, if a movie is about glamorizing Hollywood, it’s about the more “refined” genres like musicals or dramas (La La Land comes to mind). So I really appreciate the movie’s focus into this side of Tinseltown.

While I’m on the topic, this whole movie feels nostalgic. Of course, it’s obviously trying to replicate the 1980s aesthetic. But as someone who grew up on horror, you can feel the love that the creators have for the genre. I mean, there’s literally a character who’s a horror nerd in the movie. So I can’t hate this film on principle. For all its shortcomings, I can’t hate it because of the passion behind it.

Now, I’m not saying this was a bad movie. It’s definitely entertaining and manages to hold your attention from beginning to end. It may not be a scary film, but it’s oddly mesmerizing to watch. The movie is so slick and stylish that it hooks you in, and the mystery behind the killer is enough to keep you engaged.

If I had to make a comparison…forgive me if this is too obscure, but it feels like the Phantasmagoria games. Those games may be cheap, cheesy, and not very well written, but they’re oddly engrossing because of the style. Same with MaXXXine, the style/direction is truly the highlight of the movie.

All that being said, I can’t lie. The movie does fall apart on one major aspect; the story. Even though the movie keeps you hooked in with its campiness and style, the story doesn’t really hold up. If I had to pinpoint what the main issue with the story was, it’d probably be the unevenness of the plot.

The movie has one theme that they repeat over and over; do whatever it takes to become a star. Maxine is a pornstar who wants to be an A-lister, so most of the movie is about her struggle to be taken seriously. And that’s completely fine as a premise! The problem is that when we get to the final act, the story abruptly shifts into a different theme. When we figure out who the villain is, the theme is suddenly about the evils of pornography, horror, and Hollywood. That Maxine is a corrupt soul who has turned her back on God, yadda yadda yadda.

Again, the morality angle is not a bad premise. In fact, I liked how the movie deconstructed this trope by setting up the villain as a Satanic serial killer, only to be revealed as a Christian fundamentalist cult. It’s a nice reversal of the evil cult trope. The problem is that it doesn’t work with the rest of the movie.

Let me explain it like this. When the movie revealed who the killer was, my reaction was, “Wait, did the story just change? We’re doing THIS now?” Before the villain reveal, I legitimately thought the killer was going to be some failed actress or the #1 actress trying to protect her spot. Yes, I know that’s too close to the previous movies, but still, that’s what it felt like the story was building up to. So the final act ends up being both the best and worst part of the movie. It’s the best since it’s the most exciting section of the story. It’s the worst since it highlights just how disconnected the climax is from the rest of the movie.

But even with the climax not being justified by the story, the rest of the movie still feels uneven. There’s not enough focus on the actual serial killer. There’s too much focus on the private investigator. The flashbacks to Pearl don’t really go anywhere, especially since the climax has nothing to do with Pearl. Maxine is sorta just reacting to the events that are happening around her, not really knowing what to prioritize. The Christian fundamentalist stuff, which was just background noise for most of the movie, is then suddenly the focus of the climax.

So yeah, the story needed a lot of editing. It’s too meandering and listless that by the time you get to the climax, it feels unearned. Which is a shame since the movie is well made. Anyways, I’d recommend at least seeing the movie once, especially if you’re a horror movie buff.

[enchantingtrash]

Just got out of the Fnaf movie

heres my spoiler free review:

This movie fucking slaps, whether your new the the fandom or been around since the beginning its great, defiantly rewatchable

the animatronics really pay off. lack of cgi and real life aspects really helped the movie elevate its quality kudos to the Henson company they are truly amazing it really makes realise how shitty cgi gas become

Some mehs

The age rating being a 15 (in my country) has obviously effected the final cut, there were some moments where you just wanted more than what was shown

Some parts dragged and the final act felt a little bit rushed

but overall amazing movie 10/10 go watch it on the big screen

[dravenxivuk]

Hi!! Okay so Extinction, its fine. The "monsters" are really cheap looking to the point its funny. Its also a found footage type.

It is a more slower one. I kinda skimmed the last 30ish minutes. Acting in it is fine, Neil truly is a treat to see cause he reacts to the camera man, like he shoots dirty looks and its funny.

Its not horrible though, I have seen my fair share of shitty movies. I kinda had it on in the background cause there weren't any like high intense moments/jump scares til an hour in. I can tell they tried to take it more seriously then other B horror movies.

If you want spoilers then I can message you but I'm trying to be vague in case anyone does wanna go in blind to it.

Good news!

I told my Wife that I needed to add Extinction to our collection of monster movies, needed. She looked thoughtful for a few seconds, then rummaged through our inordinately large entirely reasonably sized collection of Bad Looking Monster Movies We Want to Watch, and we already own it! Hurrah!

Having re-read the synopsis and been provided with your helpful review, she doesn't seem very keen so I suspect it's one I picked up at some point, but no matter.

She's going away for the weekend, so I will watch it then. I'm going to get popcorn and everything. It's going to be great!

[lutawolf]

I Will Knock You Episode 11 D/s point outs

I write the Dominant element in this review, while @thequeenofsastiel writes the sub element. I'll be linking her portion of the review tomorrow. So please look forward to that. Hope you guys have been enjoying!

The first scene immediately shows the attachment that Thi has gained for Noey. He doesn't argue about missing him and just tells him to go. We then see his mom step out on the balcony. He knows how his parents will feel about Thi, and he just isn't willing to go there. This shows a growth in Thi because before, he would have just given Noey up.

Then they get to the school and Noey knows his man. He is questioning what is wrong and then excited to hear it's Thi's parents. His friends can clearly see how in love Thi is and aren't arguing but seem like, wth. Sweet Jezebel and that damn Phayu. I love that Thi despite how rude Noey is now, doesn't argue. He just lets Noey continue putting his stamps of ownership.

Aww, not my baby gang. Don't hurt me like this. I wanna hug him!

I love that we are seeing the sensitive side of Noey. Seeing what it does to him to lose a submissive friend. Because a Dom that gives a shit is always going to feel that. Being a Dom doesn't mean never being vulnerable. You'd be a crappy Dom if you didn't care. "I'm here with you. Right by your side. I'm not going anywhere" Thi has truly blossomed in his subby side.

Thi has really grown. OMG, I love seeing it. Then mom and dad come out, and I already don't like them. That little head nod when Noey is so respectful. Not cool.

See! I told you they sucked, and not in a good way! I've only talked to another parent like that when my kid got put in danger or when their kid tries to bully mine. As a mom to two brats, it's been a struggle on the bullying front, luckily the middle child has his demon sister. Anyway, while Noey is a hoodlum, he is a hoodlum with a heart and code, so I would say she's done pretty damn good as a mom.

Look at Thi, look how much strength he has gained from being a sub. His Dom is that important to him that he stands up to his parents, who he normally never would. The fact that he didn't fight harder on the necklace was very unsub like, though. A sub will fight for their ownership object. Look at the way he stares at it.

I love the sister. Oh fuck, if a Dom thinks they did a shitty job as a Dom. They will spiral bad. He'll go right back to his old life if he truly believes that he isn't a good Dom. There we go, he's decided to fight. Ha! He calls and proves to Thi he is still his Dom. See how he is talking to Thi. This is what I'm going to do, and you just need to worry about your studies. Very Dom and very commanding. See how he is telling him how it's going to be. Agh!

They are so fucking cute! Thi saying that he's always enjoyed Noey's cooking. OMG. They are trying to kill me with the sweetness. Thi is so in love. It's like it keeps smacking him in the head. Anybody else noticed that Thi has started carting that one strand of hair? At least in the one scene.

Noey sucks as basketball, and let's hope he learned a lesson. Fucking baby Dom. "How could you go watch a movie with him. Who told you that you could go!" Tell me that's not Dom. He put down the law, he's giving him ten minutes. Punishment will be him dragging Thi back. And by now he has proven to Thi time and again that he means what he says. Notice that he now carries a phone around? That way, he can always be in contact with his sub. The back and forth sleeping, so cute.

Ahh, everyone is so cute and happy for months! Which actually does a lot to fix the separation concern. They have had time to establish. Expectations and guidelines should be known by now. No contact would do some damage, but constant contact with lots of visits would be doable.

And Noey's stupid ass listened to Thi's parents. Let's just hope Thi knows what's going on because that's the only thing that's going to keep him from spiraling.

Love you guys! Hope you enjoy! 💜💜💜

[bymcr]

here is some honest advice that i truly believe helps shift mentalities. live your life empathetic; find the positive.

you work retail and just had a shitty customer. it’s so easy to have this situation and let it spiral. they didn’t treat you as a person, it’s not fair. that’s valid. but what you may not take into account is that persons emotional state. what happened to them earlier today? what happened to make the situation escalated? were they confused which may have made the situation more difficult? put yourself in their shoes. yes - they still treated you unfairly. but trying to understand their mindset helps you re-evaluate yours.

from there, what did you do well? focus on your behaviors and how you handled the situation. doesn’t matter what the outcome actually was: how do you view yourself?

this is the same for everything: movie reviews, getting bad service, having a hard conversation with a friend, disappointment in an upcoming event, etc.

if you focus on the negative and only the negative, it will eat you alive. you have to find good in the world. you have to be empathetic to the world.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

I have been in fandom since before the internet, but I didn't know that there was a name for it before I got the internet at 14.

Sean is two years younger than me and has never been in fandom. He looked up fic as a teen and it just didn't hit him. So, he's never been in fandom.

We have VERY different experiences. We watch a show, and we can talk about what we've seen and what it means. But then I'll go, "OMG what if I wrote a fic about X" and he listens and sometimes offers interesting suggestions, but it's so clearly not what he's into. He is happy watching and experiencing and talking about the story he's watching. I enjoy all those things BUT ALSO want to go in various directions depending on what really digs into my brain.

And the thing is, the normies who have found fandom and try so hard to bend fandom to them truly do not understand fandom. It's not about looking at what you're getting from canon and sitting there and only talking and writing and accepting that. Fandom is about loving something so much you can't stop the tendrils of creativity from uncurling and reaching out. Yes, canon said THIS but WHAT IF. Hey, canon never did THIS and WHAT IF. Hey, canon said THIS but I want to do THAT and HOW DOES THAT WORK.

And the thing is, I think there are normies in fandom who aren't huge assholes about how the rest of us are a bunch of perverts and weirdos. But also, I believe the rise of normies in fandom spaces are directly related to why so many people coming into fandom think it's about convincing showrunners to do what THEY want.

When that is not and never has been and never should be what fandom is about.

Fandom is about being so interested in something you want to turn it over and over in your hands looking for all the details you can pull from it. Fandom is about loving characters and going, "But what if these same people ran a coffee shop?" Fandom is about going "Canon says they have no romantic love, but they're wrong."

And this does NOT mean normies don't have a place in fandom. But normies HAVE deeply influenced fandom by doing things like breaking the fourth wall and refusing to disconnect from canon.

I wrote exactly 1 story for Supernatural. It was Sam/Gabriel. I had Sam call Gabriel "Gabe." The reason I never posted any other SPN fic is because someone on that story got mad at me for having Sam call Gabriel "Gabe." Because it wasn't canon.

Neither was the fucking, mind you. But that person was so pissed off I used a non-canon nickname that they actually argued with someone who WASN'T ME about how they shouldn't have written that when a stranger tried to politely point out what a dumb thing that was to say about FAN FICTION. Because the complainer was so determined to be shitty about the nickname that they assumed the completely random person with a completely different handle than mine must be me defending myself. I did get into the thread and pointed out I was clearly the author, and I didn't fucking care if they didn't like it.

Looking back, I feel like I saw a very early moment of a normie in fandom trying to bend fandom to what they think fandom is. Which is a straight line extension of canon that somehow includes dudes fucking on a notably queerphobic show but DOES NOT INCLUDE A NON CANON NICKNAME.

The determination to word of god every goddamn detail of everything in fandom, the determination to demand your ship become canon, the determination that only certain ships are the RIGHT ONES because others are too weird or gross or just what you don't personally want are all connected to normies coming into fandom and expecting fandom to be normie.

Fandom should never, ever be normie. Fandom should ALWAYS be the John Waters against the British movie censors. They told him, upon reviewing Pink Flamingos, "We have no rating for intentional bad taste."

In fandom, we should all be John Waters, aiming first and foremost for our own enjoyment and delight in what we want to create. And laughing as we tell the story of the normies being so lost at what we're doing that they can't rate it at all because all they see is bad taste.

[georgiapeach30513]

Love the movie discussion.

Do you believe Chris may finally be headed in a direction where he’s doing movies that place him up for potential award nominations and/or box office success or at least positive reviews compared to the last few movies?

Now mind you, I don’t believe Chris has ever made a legit “shitty” movie, there have been movies that aren’t my cup of tea per say, but overall I’ve liked majority of his non Marvel projects.

I understand people having opinions and criticism over his more recent movie choices….to a certain degree. I’m not fond of making assumptions regarding why an actor chooses projects because there are numerous factors that come into play: ( easy paycheck, loved the script, loved the cast, actor could be burned out, doesn’t want to work with assholes regardless of how great a project may be, self doubt, signed up for one thing but it turned into another, etc).

With the upcoming line up, I feel like it’s setting him up to sort of showcase his talent and that he’s still bankable as a leading man or can act outside of Marvel. As fans we already know this, but unfortunately the general populace still needs to see it on a grand scale.

I think it’s great that so many including the fandom have high expectations and see the ultimate potential in him, in the same breath it’s a lot of pressure and it’s not like Chris hasn’t already proven himself already as an actor in general.

He’s forever cemented in cinematic history, people need to put some respect on his name! 😎

This is such a healthy discussion, not to mention a more educated one besides Red One bad! Everything else good 🙄 who knew people could get their panties in a bunch over a Christmas movie 😂

I do think that he is. He’s working with new, different directors. And directors that are interesting, and have a lot of buzz around them. Take Celine Song for instance. I know that Materialists is said to be a romcom, but I’m doubtful it’s that simple.

Haven’t all actors made movies that aren’t people’s cups of tea? Back in the day I was a huge Brad Pitt fan, but I don’t love every movie he’s ever made. He made some weird ones early in his career, and not weird in a good way.

I think people are in a mindset of loving to hate on him. They want to be mad at him for something or other, so they try to stick it where they think it’ll hurt him, his money. So they have these big emotions on hating him and trash talking his every move. I’m sure he doesn’t breathe right according to some. And a lot really hate that others don’t hate him or his career. It truly bothers him that people still enjoy his content. I’ve never understood putting so much energy into hating someone so much, but hey ho, whatever gets your rocks off.

I do get when you see people who want more from his career. But we have to remember it is his career, and it’s his decisions that will continue his career. Out of his recent projects the past few years there’s not one that I hate. The only project of his I would say I’m not fond of at all is London. I find his character to be insufferable, and I thought the movie as a whole was pointless.

I don’t think it’s wrong to healthily want more for his career, especially since he’s older and should be moving into a different space in career. But again, it’s his.

[smoralcoral]

This is basically my smorgasbord of whatever I want to post, so here's my Letterboxd review of Moana 2 under the cut.

(This will have minor spoilers and is primarily negative. If these things turn you off, then don't read!!)

The biggest indicator that this was supposed to be a TV show was all of the useless ensemble characters that sucked shit and had little to no meaningful development. I think Moana's crew was the worst, because they were annoying and featured more prominently. In a television show, an ensemble cast can be developed to a better degree, but they don't have time to do that in a two hour movie. And don't get me started on the sister, the coconut warrior, and the animals who were shoehorned in to sell more merchandise.

Boring songs, shitty villain (HE DIDN'T EVEN SHOW UP), TERRIBLE darkest hour...

Was Moana supposed to have an arc? Because she was basically great and perfect and dearly loved, and yet had her third - act breakdown where she was like "I'VE RUINED EVERYTHING!!"

NO, YOU HAVEN'T!! You have singlehandedly kept this mission afloat! You're the only one capable of doing half this shit while your crew does fuck all for 2/3rds of the movie!!

I get that people have imposter syndrome, but I don't feel like that was set up. If anything, I feel like the themes of "working together and learning to deal with people who have different strengths," and "sometimes you have to be the one to step up and do hard things, even if it is uncomfortable," were much more established.

Furthermore, what is interesting and works in storytelling is different from real life. If the audience sees a character who is hyper competent, friendly, and a good leader, then there's going to be dissonance when the character cries self - loathing. Especially because it's an arc that's been done one bazillion times, and ESPECIALLY because the only one who actually had a relationship built up with Moana (beyond "writers said that these characters like her, so they like her") was Maui.

Positives: I liked Moana herself! I do get sick of the "quirky Disney princess," and I feel like they leaned into that a lot. But overall, I thought she was entertaining to watch. Maui is great, and it's nice to see a buff macho guy unashamedly adore a girl in a respectful, platonic way. I don't like the Disney style of animation (more on that in a bit), but I do respect the talent and hard work that goes into making an animated movie, and I'm sure these animators would be able to thrive in an environment that encouraged creativity and diversity. Some of the humor made me laugh.

I'm neutral about the bat lady. All I thought about was Disney seeing the whinging surrounding twist villains and going, "Well, how about a twist HERO??? Checkmate, liberal!"

Overall, I've been negative because being negative is fun, but this is a fine movie. It's perfectly acceptable. Your kids will watch it, say "woah I wish I had water powers," and forget about it soon after.

But. BUT. Personally? I'm so sick of Disney and their products. Everything is sanitized, squeaky - clean, pushed through 20 different corporate focus groups in order to maximize profitability and enjoyment. Trying to make safe media that appeals to everyone lacks the specificity that allows for things to resonate. Even the designs have gotten slowly more rounded and "cute." Where's the character, the personalized flair to the animation that would come with each movie?? And everyone is silly and quirky with a sassy remark, and it just... Sucks! It sucks.

I know it's crappy to compare everything to Spiderverse, but you have truly incredible people who are pushing the boundaries of storytelling, animation, while staying PG - 13 and appealing to a wide variety of audiences. That is what happens when you allow for some creativity, and don't stick with the same marketable formula that includes everyone but touches no one.

If you like modern Disney, it's a decent watch. For anyone else, stay home and save your money.