#i’ve seen firsthand how it affects people- both them and their families

[darkcircles4lyfe]

What are your thoughts on the recent chapter?

This is a pretty vague ask but I’m pretty sure I received it yesterday. If not… oops?

I’m actually so excited for the next—that is, the second to last—chapter as someone who was deeply affected by chapters 391-395 and who just loves Toga Himiko in general, so so much. I’ve really grown to love Ochako’s arc too and I’ve come to trust the process here. I didn’t know about everyone freaking out until after I read 428 officials yesterday, and I’m not worried like that. We’ve been in this type of cliffhanger situation multiple times before.

The news that the end of Himiko’s and Ochako’s fight wasn’t recorded hit me hard, just like it hits Ochako, because the world doesn’t get to know who Himiko really is. There’s nothing Ochako could say on her behalf that would compare to actual footage of her pain, anger, joy, love, sorrow, and sacrifice.

…which is to say, Himiko does not serve as a martyr, a tragic, cautionary example. I’ll remind you that that was what the PLF reporter wanted her to be, and she was controlling and patronizing. Let’s think about this as a choice Horikoshi is making, to discard the only ammunition he had to make Himiko into an example and have it be even remotely compelling and satisfying. Boom, gone. There’s no footage. Why?

On the other hand, this is actually an advantageous turn of events if it turns out Himiko survived, because more calculated actions can be taken to keep her safe. I’m starting to see this as a turning point not necessarily for society as a whole, but for the hero profession and its purpose, wherein under Hawks’ leadership the hero commission could become the exact opposite of what it was. It’s no accident that the first half of this chapter is devoted to showing how the next generation and the public were both ~so inspired~ by class A’s actions in a way that mimics the chain of inspiration that motivated class A to begin with. Only this time, Ochako and Izuku are deeply uncomfortable with it! They don’t want this chain reaction to keep going the same way forever. These people look at them and have no idea what they’re actually going through or what they’ve seen. Future heroes who don’t know the real story. That’s very upsetting. Now they are starting to see firsthand how a pattern of collective forgetting is perpetuated. It won’t change until someone like Himiko is actually saved. No bright future without a place for her in it.

I’m excited because this chapter directly confirms Ochako’s awkward, overly cheerful mask for what it is, as it finally starts to crumble. In hindsight, she’s probably done this a lot in the past as well. It casts her whole character in a new light. She and Himiko are so much alike in this way.

I still have high hopes for this storyline because of how much it resonates with me as a queer allegory. Of course, Himiko is also literally queer, but I mean the symbolic stuff about her quirk and her family’s rejection. As a trans person who spent a long time in the closet convincing everyone around me that I was a normal, happy girl, whose pain and rage only festered and grew stronger, who was perceived as selfish and destructive, who was determined to live for myself but still doubted if I had any future at all… I see Himiko’s story as so perfect, so real, that I can’t imagine it ending poorly. And it doesn’t have shit to do with canonizing that ship, either. I’m not worried.

[sneakyboymerlin]

Making what’s technically a DNI which is funny cause I’ve never been a fan of DNIs, ppl will just ignore them if they want, but ppl will not stop being creeps around me and I wanna put forward what my beliefs & boundaries are

Trigger warnings for everything that’s under the cut are in tags, ‘cause this is p much just calling out the predatory shipping stuff

Oh also spoilers if you haven’t finished the show ig

People who ship Merlin/Mordred (18 and 10yrs old when they met), you need to develop the ability to see dynamics between humans outside of a romantic context, because that shit is disgusting. I don’t care if he “waits until he’s 18” or something. If you think this has no relation to real life, you are lying to yourself.

People who ship incest… get real, it’s 2024. This includes half-siblings, step-family, adoptees, etc. because they ARE relatives. Yes, I have seen ppl in this fanbase say it’s ok to ship adoptees because they’re not “real family” — specifically using Thor/Loki as an example (in the replies of a post about Merlin & Mordred having a “brotherly” relationship, no less). Those of you still shipping Arthur/Morgana and Morgana/Morgause… A ship being gay doesn’t magically make it progressive. Abuse is not progressive, it is a result of one person’s sense of entitlement in conflict with another person’s autonomy.

Racism and misogyny — particularly this fandom’s misogynoir towards Gwen. Common sense, except many of you will read this and think it doesn’t apply to you when it does.

If you think that Arthur is incapable of loving Gwen as much as he loves Merlin (despite the opposite being true in canon), if you call Gwen “a beard” or act as if Arthur broke centuries of tradition to marry a servant out of “convenience” or to use her for her womb — why do you want Arthur to objectify this woman so bad?

If you think that Merlin would’ve needed to teach Gwen, Lancelot, or Elyan how to write despite the fact that Gwen and Elyan were co-running a small business with their father for years + the season 1 photoshoots of Gwen writing + s5 Gwen writing onscreen + the fact that Lancelot and Merlin were writing each other for years — we get it, you watched Holes.

Villainizing Gwen and/or Elyan (e.g. the Kingdom Come fan script). Gwen accepts Merlin’s magic with a grace that Arthur doesn’t offer in the same episode, but fans often interpret Arthur’s reaction with good faith and ignore Gwen’s entirely. She and Elyan both suffered the wrongful death of their father when Uther accused him of consorting with a sorcerer and didn’t give him a trial. Elyan saw/experienced firsthand the wrongful persecution of the Druids when he was possessed by the spirit of a Druid child, so fics where he is disproportionately aggressive towards magic while Leon and Arthur are disproportionately calm are especially transparent (e.g. that Arcane Dominion fic on Ao3).

If you think that whole Helios arc (especially with Gwen’s outfit) or all the “Southrons” shit in the show wasn’t racist (or, if you don’t know, please look up what orientalism is and how it affects people irl).

Homophobia - a lot of merthur shippers (and others, but one’s kinda more popular) have a lot of homophobic beliefs. For example, if you think that sub = bottom and dom = top, that is both misogynistic and homophobic. If you think that Merlin or Arthur (or, like, Gwaine) is “weaker” than the other and decide their position as dom/top or sub/bottom based upon that criteria, again you are being misogynistic and homophobic. This goes double for presenting Merlin as a dom/top because of his magic (not in general), when it’s pretty clear in the show that magic peoples are experiencing a genocide because they are stereotyped as dangerous. Hmm, I wonder what groups this logic might apply to in real life who are demonized and hypersexualized to justify their eradication… not gay and trans people, or poc, or other oppressed groups! They could never have anything in common with a hypothetical oppressed group !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Transphobia - fics going on about how “[x gender] could never [perform y reproductive function]” is obviously something you say when you forget or ignore that trans ppl exist. Doesn’t matter if you’re making fun of mpreg or whatever, and no it’s not just merthur fics.

Religious persecution - first of all, if you generalize any persecuted religious group/culture or decide that genocide is justifiable towards some people, you are either a Nazi, a Zionist, or some other white supremacist, and you are not welcome here.

Now, this touches on homophobia, misogyny, and transphobia, too, but because magic is ultimately a stand-in for religious persecution, it goes here:

When you villainize Merlin for keeping his identity a secret in a society where he is, in written law, to be executed for the way he was born, you’re sending a horrific message to people who should never feel guilty for the most bare minimum acts of survival. Fiction is informed by reality, and may support certain societal aspects/ideas in return. Stories are a form of speech, which is cycled through the sociopolitical atmosphere of the storytellers. You are not immune to propaganda, but you are especially susceptible if you refuse to acknowledge that even allegories exist.

[actualdraccus]

I realize I’ve reblogged two things in a row that are in line with my despair and determination in the wider world right now.

My roommate caught me staring into space over my dinner last night, and when he said I looked like I was deep in thought, I told him that I had started thinking about how things are. And specifically, that I am so lucky to have known my great grandfather and grandfather as long as I got to. There is a point and connection to this.

Great grandpa was a WWII vet. He signed up after Pearl Harbor happened, and we think he might have been on the cusp of being too young to technically do that. He might have lied about his age. I don’t know. But the point is that he as a boy (younger than I am now, to the point where I would look at a kid that old and call them a kid), went to war and saw the absolute depravity of humans. He saw the best and the worst of people on both sides, and spent the rest of his life regretting that the world had come to that, feeling that he had only done what he felt he must, and trying to challenge the prejudices that going through that time had given him. (I remember when I was maybe 13 or 14 and had mentioned to him that I was watching some anime that I brushed against what was certainly a very complicated emotion about the Japanese in general. It was a few months later that I learned that he was among those who got sent to the bomb sites after the fact, and that he therefore saw firsthand the terrible thing that we had done to them. I don’t think he ever really forgave the US for that, and I don’t think he forgave the order that sent a Japanese plane into his ship, either. He knew the pilot of that plane was just like him, though.)

My grandfather on the other side of the family was only 6 years younger than great grandpa. It was the six years that made a difference between going to the war and only being aware of it in a vague way. I never talked about this with him, but I think about it sometimes. I also sometimes think about how his parents chose to have two kids in the middle of the depression. And how his wife, my grandmother, is just enough younger than grandpa that when she was living in the time of the war, she asked her dad what would be on the news when the war was over, because she had never known anything else there.

And of course there have been other horrors since then. Other wars, other political agendas of control, other social movements—

And my parents never knew this sort of thing growing up. Even if when happened in their time, they were privileged enough not to be personally affected by it. We’re all living this one out together, and to be honest, I think they’re more scared for me and my brother than for themselves. So I guess they probably know, or at least think they know (in a way that matters), what it’s like to have been a young adult over the last… what, 6-10 years?

I say all this because I live every day with the kindness of individuals and sometimes the evil of policy. And because my grandparents and great grandparents didn’t even do most of their living in the worst times they’ve seen. They—every one of them—has found something fulfilling in life despite the doom they saw when they were young. Despite it!! They’ve lived happily! Normally! With all their delightful weirdness intact, and yes, alongside the trauma (personally and culturally) of having seen the things that are arguably the highest example of how terrible things can get. But they are proof enough to me that none of this—none of it—will be the permanent state of things. And it isn’t everything. Even when it feels overwhelmingly damning. It is not the only thing in life and it will not last forever.

I just felt the need to clear that up after passing along the sentiments of others in relation to this topic.

[crystallinearts]

ALSO-

Since you said we can talk to you about anything, I'm gonna talk about your interpretations of two characters in specific.

Scaramouche would be the first! I remember reading the descriptions of both reverse comfort videos, and honestly, I like your analyses! And of course, your top-notch voice. Not a lot of people talk of the trauma that he has, and I found that to be a pity because you can do a lot with that!

And then there is Subject 2 as the second. A lot of people interpret him as Yandere and don't get me wrong, they're not bad, they can do whatever they want. But I like more your interpretation (correct me if I'm wrong) that he is just a little dude which just appreciates a lot the person that gave him a bit of affection without holding it above him, like Gold probably would do, and that he just wants someone to appreciate him as he is.

In conclusion, I like my characters being a sad, wet dog (joking... or maybe? 🤨)

That is about it, remember to have a good day! :>

- 🧉 anon

YESSSS OMG please talk to me!! I may take forever to respond sometimes (thank u what I believe is either undiagnosed ADHD or just my brain being an easily distracted squirrel brain) but I love talking about this stuff~

Godddd this makes me so happy! so like, for as much as I absolutely adore Genshin and watch tons of lore videos and read about all of it… I’ve actually never played it firsthand, because my computer doesn’t have the storage space for it… I tried to install it and was told I didn’t have enough space, so, the dream died XD

that means I can sometimes be a little insecure in my portrayals of characters and sometimes I get a little depresso espresso over it. but knowing that people like my interpretations of them just makes me grin! even though I have yet to actually play this game (I’ll get there at some point hhhh!!) I am extremely passionate about a lot of the characters and I want to create good content of them!

more people should delve into Scara’s trauma… like, not only is it good reverse comfort material, he needs to talk about it!! recovery only starts when he begins to open up and share it with people, and develop bonds with others that allow him to open up in the first place. a romantic partner is a good place to start opening up! it’s ok fandango man you will get to a better place eventually, just let people help you- XD

AND AS FOR DORIAN!! aka Subject Two, Susbedo, Rubedo, whatever you wanna call him… oof. I have so many feelings about him, I am looking both respectfully and disrespectfully, and he’s so exactly the type of character I love. I’ve seen the yandere take on him quite a bit, and yeah, like you say, don’t get me wrong, I can absolutely see why people would take him in that direction! but personally, he doesn’t seem like a full-on yandere to me… and this is coming from someone who’s been known to fall for yanderes! (Cole from Blush Blush, I’m looking at your Cyno-VA-sharing smooth voiced ass)

Dorian is just this broken, pathetic, jealous little mess of a man who desperately wants what Albedo has… and sees no other way to get it other than to take his place. he doesn’t think he deserves good things, because Rhinedottir/Gold told him he was a failure and left him for dead for seemingly just existing (like, there doesn’t seem to be anything ‘wrong’ with him, you know? so it’s like, what the FUCK was even her reason there?)… but he really wants those good things. he doesn’t want to take the good things from Albedo, but he doesn’t know how else to go about getting them for himself. he wants to be loved and accepted without someone attaching conditions to it or expecting him to be something or someone else.

and, of course, that said… once he starts living with Albedo and they come to actually be brothers, you would not BELIEVE how quickly he warms up to that sibling affection and how fiercely he would protect his little family. he goes from wanting to kill Albedo to replace him, to being 10000% ready to destroy any threat that tries to kill Albedo.

… anyway I could literally talk about Dorian in particular FOREVER. if I ever get the opportunity to write a thesis on a fictional character it will be HIM!! I have so much to say about him.

YOU’RE TOTALLY VALID THO!!! OKAY?? I like my characters pitiful, complicated, and physically weak/sickly/etc. so I have ample opportunity to take care of them =)

I know this took me a hot minute to answer but!! you too!!! <3

[shadowsandstarlight]

After over half a year of hardly being able to listen to his voice, I’m watching animatics of Techno clips. Man, I miss him, but he did so much while he was here that it would be disrespectful of me to try to avoid it. Miss you, Mr Blade, but keep up the good work with killing (former/current) world leaders, wherever you are. Thank you for everything you did, and everything your legacy still does now.

[h2bakugou]

May I have headcanons for Bakugo, Todoroki and Hawks with an S/O who is or wants to become an heroine yet she faces a lot of backlash because she is the daughter of a -now imprisoned- villain?

a/n: of course! i love this headcanon, thank you for the request love!!

headcanon: them with an s/o who wants to be a hero but faces backlash because of her family.

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: fluff, swearing, a bit of angst, mentions of murder/death and violence!

»»————-　★　————-««

katsuki bakugou

»»————-　★　————-««

Before you even start dating, Bakugou is probably really curious about you. It was all over the news, that you’d gotten into U.A.

And despite the school’s claims to keep every student safe, you still felt like an outcast. Turning down a hall caused heads to turn, kids ducked into classrooms.

You wished people could understand that you weren’t your parents. 

Two years ago your parents had been imprisoned for good, in Tartarus. Watching from a cafe tv, you learned that day that your parents were infamous villains that had killed close to hundreds, and injured more. All under your nose.

You were questioned for a while, in fact, the following six months after they got locked up you spent under a police watch. They found it hard to believe that you had absolutely nothing to do with what your parents did. And after several tests, they decided you were innocent.

News broke that you’d gotten into U.A., so much so that your parents even found out, not that you really cared what they thought, they’d lost all your trust.

Bakugou was able to see your determination though. No matter how many times you were called a villain, or some stupid name that the other kids came up with to try and make you leave, you pushed through.

What Bakugou loved the most is how calm you always looked. He knew you were hotheaded underneath it all. But you couldn’t snap at these kids, that would just prove their point.

But he saw you train and work first hand, unlike these kids. Your quirk was strong, it was no surprise you’d gotten into U.A. You were going to be a powerful hero.

When you started dating, a few things changed. Kids still made fun of you and mocked you, but not as much. Bakugou also got to see that what they said really did affect you.

You’d broke down once in front of him.

Bakugou sat on his bed, waiting for you to come join him so you could do homework. You were shuffling through your bag to find your work when you pulled out a note that had some rather nasty words written on it.

You didn’t want to cry in front of Bakugou but it just happened. Tears flooded down your cheeks as you started sobbing. Bakugou heard your cries and jumped up to comfort you.

“Hey, what the fuck is wrong?” Bakugo asked, his harsh sounding tone was more worried than anything.

“Do you think I’m going to be a villain?” You asked, your eyes red and puffy as tears streamed down your cheeks and soaked the neck of your sweater.

“What-no! What makes you think I’d think that about you?” Bakugou’s upset now too, but his eyes find the note that had been in your bag.

“Who wrote that.” Bakugou’s voice was stern, and it didn’t even sound like a question he was asking.

“I don’t know.” You sniffled.

“I’ll find out.”

“They’ll just do it again. I just wish people could understand I’m not like my parents. I want to help people.” You clung to Bakugou as you cried, his arms holding you close to him.

“They’ll see one day. I’ll make them see.” Bakugou kissed the top of your head and let you calm down in his arms.

»»————-　★　————-««

shoto todoroki

»»————-　★　————-««

Before the relationship, Todoroki knows who you are. You were all over tv when your parents were arrested for countless murders.

It was ironic. He was the son of a pro hero, and you were the daughter of two villains. Falling in love with you felt like some sort of twisted comedy.

When you got into U.A., Todoroki was unsure of your motives. You’d been labeled a villain kid, and only destined to follow in your parent’s footsteps.

But you were entirely innocent. You had no hand in what your parents had done, and you vowed to never even speak to them again.

Todoroki got close to you, at first to see if what you were saying was true. He was curious. And wanting to be a hero, he was going to stop any chance of a traitor among his classmates.

But then he got to know you. He found out you were kind, and how much you loved to help people.

You were nothing like your parents

When you started dating, he tried his best to understand what it was like to be you. He’d see kids make fun of you, and even adults when you went ou tin public.

He defended you, and people shut up real quick.

You met his dad once, and though Todoroki said it was probably going to end terribly, you insisted on meeting him.

Endeavor was a bit surprised to see you dating his son. Some of his questions for you made you a bit uncomfortable.

“Your parents are still in jail, correct?” It as so blunt, you felt like crawling under a rock.

“Father-”

“Sho, it’s fine. Uh yes, they’re still in Tartarus.” You answered his question. Endeavor could see the uneasiness on your face and decided the questionnaire could be answered later.

“You really want to be a hero-”

“Yes. I’ve always wanted to help people, helping people makes me happy.” You didn’t even let Endeavor finish his statement. Endeavor nodded and left you two alone.

Word got out that you were dating a pro heroes’ son, and well it sparked a lot of rumors. 

For once, Endeavor backed you up. He’d been a bit worried about you, but his words seemed to ease some of the pressure you’d been feeling.

“If she wishes to be a hero, then that’s what she’s going to do. Suspicion is not a means to invalidate her goals and future plans.”

Todoroki has seen you break down a few times, mostly after school when kids would call you a ‘no good villain’ or some other name.

Todoroki comforts you as best as he can, either holding you close to him, or reassuring you that what they say or think isn’t the truth. Or he’ll do both.

Todoroki hates seeing you upset. He knows how bad reputations can ruin someone, and he knows the influence your parents have on you. He’s usually only recognized as Endeavor’s son, so he knows firsthand what being related to a hero or a villain can do.

He’s going to love you no matter what, and he’s helping right alongside you to make sure people understand that you are not your parents.

»»————-　★　————-««

hawks/keigo takami

»»————-　★　————-««

He’s already a pro, and his interest in you peaks when the news of your parents getting caught spreads.

You’re a newer hero, but the backlash of your parents getting caught drags you down. You feel like you’re drowning.

But in this vision where you’re drowning, a vermillion-winged man pulls you out of the water and smiles at you.

Hawks aims to be your friend at first, he can’t lie, you’re very beautiful, but he wants to get to know you. He’s a bit sketchy himself, so if you are some sort of villain he wants to know.

He doesn’t think his comments affect you. He’s a bit oblivious, he’s not intentionally trying to hurt your feelings, but when he does, he sure as hell regrets it.

“So what’s the masterplan, Miss Devious?” The name he used was what everyone called your mother.

“What the fuck did you just call me?” You turn and look at him, your eyes full of both hurt and anger.

“How are we going to catch the bad guys, or maybe, the good guys?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

“Why would you say that to me? What the fuck is wrong with you?” You shove him away as you storm out of the room.

Hawks cocky grin is replaced by an ‘oh shit’ face. He’s really done it in now, and he’s thinking in his head that you’ll never forgive him for this one. All his other jokes seemed to fly, so why was this one so bad?

“Hey, wait up!” Hawks calls to you. He sends a few of his feathers to pin you against a wall so he can talk to you.

“Why are you so mad?” He asks, trying to examine your expression.

“Why am I mad? You just called me my fucking mom’s name. You’re making it really hard to like you. What part of ‘I don’t associate with my parents’ don’t you fucking understand?” You shout at him. Hawks’ lips form a thin line as he thinks about what he’s said.

“I’m sorry.” Hawks apologizes, figuring it’s best to at least make up for what he’s said until he can figure you out.

“Are you? Or are you just saying that so I don’t lash out?” You glare at him. Hawks looks away and sighs.

“I didn’t realize that-”

“That what? After the countless times I’ve been called a villain, that I wasn’t affected by it? Or that maybe the backlash from dozens of media sources and civilians wasn’t enough and that you feel the need to remind me that I’m the daughter of two awful villains?” You snap, tears pouring from your eyes.

“Hey, that’s not what I meant.” Hawks defended himself, his heart aching as you cried.

“I try so fucking hard. I work my ass off to prove that I’m just as good of a hero as anyone else. I fucking love helping people, it’s my job to save and help whenever I can, but it’s never enough.” You sob. Hawks’ feathers return to his wings as he lets you go.

Hawks hugs you and doesn’t let you go.

“I’ve been an asshole, and sorry won’t cut it for how I’ve acted but I want to make it up to you.” Hawks understood a bit better now. You were trying to fight the corruptness of the media. You were labeled awful things while you were just doing your job.

You’d never done an evil thing in your life, and you couldn’t hurt a fly if you tried.

“Why are you saying this now?” You ask, pushing him away.

“Because I fucking love you.” Hawks blurts out. He quickly covers his mouth, his ears turning bright red.

“Wha-”

In the spur of the moment to keep you from saying anything else, Hawks presses his lips to yours, ceasing the awkward question you were about to ask.

After this, it takes a bit of time for you to fully forgive Hawks, but you fall in love with him. He helps you prove yourself, and the two of you become practically inseparable.

Nothing can erase what your parents have done, but every day, Hawks reminds you that you aren’t your parents, and he’ll do whatever he can to make the public understand that too.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[coldmorte]

Hey! I really really like your blog and all the Dutch content, and I read your posts on Molly and Dutch and I just felt like sharing my thoughts :) If you don’t feel like it, just ignore this

I like Molly, even though I agree that she’s very much a snob and very paranoid at times.

It’s always felt very clear to me that Molly really, truly loves Dutch. And love makes you do stupid, desperate things (just look at Arthur).

Molly’s interaction with Abigail is about Dutch’s love for Molly, not the other way around. It’s Abigail saying that Dutch doesn’t love her and Molly lashing out (probably to protect herself from the truth).

This is brought up again in An Honest Mistake, when she talks to Arthur about Dutch, questioning how Dutch seems to him. When Molly says, “I really love him, you know,” Arthur averts his eyes and doesn’t look at her. I’ve always seen this as Arthur knowing Dutch doesn’t love her in the way Molly wants him to, if he loves her at all.

I’ve always seen Dutch as being kind of ahead of his time when it comes to certain progressive ideas (especially as it pertains to race), but when it comes to women, he’s very much a product of his his time. The way he talks about them and to/at them, whether it’s Molly or Abigail or Mary-Beth or Sadie, is often either dismissive or condescending.

While he doesn’t outright say it, the way he acts around the women at camp has always left me feeling like he prefers women (at least the ones he takes an actual interest in) to fit into the roles society has carved out for them; they have to be beautiful and docile and romantic-minded for him to take an interest.

You’ve said yourself, that Dutch deals with a lot of self doubt and that stems from wanting to be seen as a great and powerful man, who the people in camp can look up to, and women (especially young women) were (and to some degree stil is) seen as symbols of status. Molly is a beautiful woman from a wealthy family; she could have anyone she wanted, and she chose Dutch and ran away with him, leaving her old life behind – that’s the ultimate powermove on Dutch’s part.

I’ve always thought of Dutch as a romantic, the way he talks about love and how it’s the one thing worth living for, and I believe that he may have at some point actually loved Molly or at least convinced himself that he did, but the second he grows tired of her and realises that he doesn’t actually love her, he’s moving on to another, younger woman.

His inner romantic and his ego and need to be perceived as powerful are at odds with each other, and as the game progresses we see how his romantic and kind side wilt under the weight and pressure of his responsibilities as a leader and his need to be perceived as powerful and a great leader.

Those are my thoughts at least :)

Hello!

Thank you for the ask and the kind words! That really does mean a lot!! 💜💜💜

I am very grateful for your message, and no!!!! I don’t want to ignore it!! That wouldn’t be very fair of me, as I feel like you bring up some good points to discuss. Also, I appreciate the respect in your message and for taking the time to write so much out! I’d be happy to give you some of my time in return 🥰

(Warning: SPOILERS below)

I’m going to take your points one at a time here. So, starting with liking Molly, it’s totally fine! I don’t want to be too negative on my blog, and I don’t want people to feel like they have to think the same way I do. That wouldn’t be any fun, so it does make me happy that you can enjoy her character. I don’t want to take that away from you!! By all means, love her to your heart's content!!! ❤️

Furthermore, though I don’t personally like Molly, I don’t think she was a truly bad person. Just like every other character in the game, she had flaws and made mistakes. I primarily wish I could have gotten to know her better because she was presented during a very dark time in her life. I feel like this affected my perception of her, and I might have seen her differently, if I had gotten the chance to interact more with her character (especially outside of the RDR2 timeframe). Everybody deserves not only to love somebody, but everybody also deserves to have faith that the person they love can truthfully say the same back to them. I felt bad that Molly died such an unhappy, loveless death.

About the love Molly had for Dutch, I agree that she loved him. My point in bringing up infatuation was to primarily highlight the reason and the degree to which she honestly loved him. Did Molly love Dutch for the man he was, or for the idea of the man he was? Maybe, it was a mix? I am not sure there is enough information to give a conclusive answer to this (as I somewhat mentioned before).

To be fair, the same thing could (and should) be asked of Dutch. Did he truly love her, or did he just love the idea of having her at his side? Again, it would be fascinating to see the early part of their relationship. It would answer a LOT of questions. You mention that Dutch arguably saw Molly as a symbol of status, and I agree that it was very plausible. I think, to some degree, both Molly and Dutch saw each other as being favorable for what they represented, unfortunately.

In regard to the interaction between Molly and Abigail, I realize my response was unclear about this (that’s my bad). I'll try to write it better here, but this is really complicated to put into words! I'll do my best!!

What I said was that Molly got angry at people she “perceived” as challenging her love (this was subjective to her POV and not necessarily reflective of true reality). My original answer was not objective (nor was it meant to be - I was trying to write this part from her POV), and there are a few layers I want to analyze here. First of all, from an objective perspective, you are correct. The conversation between them was ultimately about Dutch not loving Molly the way she wanted to be loved. However, the first thing Molly did was state to Abigail that she loved Dutch. If she didn’t see this point as being in question, why did she feel the need to immediately justify it before saying anything else? To me, it seemed like she needed to actively prove that she loved him to others.

This was also seen with Karen and Arthur. The conversations with Karen were confusing because they didn’t have much context, but perhaps, that was the point - to show the extent of Molly’s paranoia (in other words, that there was no context and that she was imagining Karen to be against her out of insecurity). Molly continually complained that Karen said bad things about her, and she insisted that she not only loved Dutch, but that he loved her as well. Then, as you mention, Molly emphasized to Arthur that SHE loved Dutch (it was not directly about his love for her). Again, by constantly having to profess her feelings, it was as if she thought people were doubting her on some level.

But here is where the contradiction comes in - I believe that Molly was smart enough to know that this doubting wasn't entirely genuine. She knew it was never really her love that she should have been concerned about. Although, by focusing on herself, it was a way to deflect from her insecurity regarding Dutch and the fact that she knew, deep down, he didn’t truly love her (at least, not anymore). That’s why she got so upset when Abigail, for instance, brought this point up. As soon as the conversation shifted from Molly’s love to Dutch’s love, she lashed out and stormed away.

So, to try to summarize this all up, what I am trying to say is that Molly “perceived” challenges to her own state of emotions as a means of shifting away from her concerns about Dutch’s feelings. She knew her "perceptions" were really more like lies to herself. Molly wanted the conversation with Abigail to seem like it was about her because she felt she was more in control of that and could handle it better. From a neutral perspective, the conversation was definitely not about Molly - it was entirely about Dutch, which Molly knew (she just didn’t like Abigail directly pointing it). I hope my response makes more sense? Sorry, if I am still being confusing!

Now, as for Dutch and his progressive ideas, I think a lot of them were formed in his youth. Little information was given about his childhood, but he did seem pretty sensitive about the fact that he grew up fatherless. His dad died in the Civil War (a conflict primarily centered around the issue of slavery and states’ attitudes towards it), while fighting on the side of the Union. One reason Dutch was probably so progressive in regard to race was because of his anger over losing a parent to racially-motivated violence. Racism seemed like a waste of time and life, so he was bitter towards people who still harbored racist sentiments. He knew firsthand how destructive they could be.

Minimal insight was provided into Dutch’s relationship with his mother, other than the fact that it was quite strained and unhappy. He left home at a young age and essentially disowned her. He obviously didn’t keep in touch with her, judging that he didn’t even know she died until years after the fact. Could this have affected his attitude later in life (towards women)?

I suppose it’s possible. Maybe, Dutch would have looked better on women, had he been closer with his mother. I consider his attitude towards women as pretty average for the era. It’s not entirely fair to compare him to Arthur, who was very progressive for the time and definitely above normal standards. As you say, I think Dutch was a product of his time. In RDR2, he didn’t come across as physically abusive, nor did he overtly sexualize women. However, he did seem to expect women to act in a subordinate manner. It's not great (and I certainly do not agree with his attitude), but again, the contemporary standards in regard to gender roles did not exist in 1899.

Lastly, I COMPLETELY agree about Dutch being VERY romantic, sentimental, and idealistic. This wasn’t just limited to interpersonal relationships either - it also fit his entire perspective of America and the values he held dear. Just take a look at some of his quotes:

“The promise of this great nation - men created equal, liberal and justice for all - that might be nonsense, but it’s worth trying for. It’s worth believing in.”

And:

“If we keep on seeking, we will find freedom.”

In the beginning, he had such high hopes and strong faith that he could find a way to live free from social and legislative demands. Compare that to the end, where he started to say things like:

“You can’t fight nature. You can’t fight change.”

And:

“There ain’t no freedom for no one in this country no more.”

Dutch wanted to believe that there was a chance to live free from the threat of control, but as he started to lose people he loved and got closer to losing his own battle, he started to take on a much more cynical tone. He began to realize that his romantic notions and idealistic visions of life were not always obtainable - no matter how hard he tried to reach them - and it broke him. This change in his life outlook was kind of similar to his interpersonal relationships. When he realized they were a lot of work and not always happy/perfect, he seemed to grow frustrated. Love requires a lot of patience and energy. Despite full effort, love still does not always succeed.

Also, I just want to add that I think Dutch knew he had a problem with his pride, but he tried his best to maintain his tough, confident persona because he didn’t want to be perceived as weak. He definitely realized he messed up in putting his pride first in the end, but at that point, it was too late. Whatever was left of his idealistic aspirations in life died with Arthur up on that cliff.

Anyhow, I’ve said more than enough. I’d like to once again thank you for the ask!! I hope my response was worth the time to read and that it makes sense. Feel free to share any more thoughts you may have!!!

~ Faith 💜

[sepublic]

           Anyhow, looking at Luz and Lilith’s interactions in Agony of a Witch, I’m afraid to say that it’ll probably REALLY color Luz’s perception of her mother, and whether or not she ‘loves’ her or back. Up until Agony of a Witch, Luz didn’t really know or have much to say about Lilith, other than that her and Eda used to get along but are now sort of divided…

           But then Luz is in Eda’s body, and she’s basically alone with just Lilith for a moment, who’s under the impression she’s talking to her sister; And she’s SO delighted…! She’s so elated to be with Eda again, clearly she wants the best… So why is she so willing to put Eda through a harmfully-conformative process of assimilation, to become a ‘proper’ member of society? When Eda is very clearly happy with who she is now, like… Does Lilith NOT realize that Eda is evading the law for a reason??? Eda isn’t a child, she’s an ADULT, she made her choices in life and shouldn’t her sister be acknowledging this?

           Then the NEXT time Luz sees Lilith, she’s on a mission to heal Eda of her curse, and Lilith just… Is NOT helping. And you can practically feel both the fear in confusion in Luz, at being caught… But also wondering, why isn’t Lilith helping? Isn’t Eda her own sister, doesn’t she want to see Eda be cured? Why is Luz, a stranger who’s known Eda for only a few weeks, doing more than Lilith is by actually trying to stop the curse AND respect her autonomy?!

           And it’s almost like a betrayal, because to Luz, Lilith may have been comparable to that very distant aunt she heard about… Because obviously she looks up to Eda, and Eda and Lilith got along! So she may have felt an indirect kinship there, like at least we BOTH want the best for Eda, right? Clearly Eda and Lilith still love each other despite everything, so that may as well make them family, right?

           Then there’s the hostage situation, the trauma of Lilith using Luz as a human shield, dehumanizing her by calling her a ‘pet’, literally trying to impale her on spikes, just to force Eda to turn back into the Owl Beast… And for what- Just to get Eda into a system she HATES!??

           Luz and Lilith never really interacted with each other as individuals who recognized each other; Episode 8 doesn’t count because Lilith thought it was Eda, so we only have Lilith snidely acknowledging Luz’s presence in Covention… and THIS. But even so, Luz surely must’ve felt like there had to have been SOME kinship because she saw how much Lilith cared, there had to have been some hope on her part that Lilith would change for Eda…

           So to see Lilith, doing such horrible things to Eda? The revelation that she betrayed her sister, cursing her?!? Like, Luz herself already probably doesn’t think much of what Lilith does to her because in the end, Luz doesn’t think she matters (but she DOES), but to see a sister betray her younger sibling like this… I feel like Luz had at least the tiniest bit of trust in Lilith from what she saw, that surely she would never stoop this low because Eda didn’t seem to regard her as doing such a thing.

           To Luz, I think Lilith’s betrayal would’ve been personal to her, as well- Because don’t they BOTH care for Eda, doesn’t Lilith have even more obligation as her sister?! And not only that, but… Luz sees firsthand that a family member CAN genuinely love and mean so well for a person, and be so happily excited when that person agrees to conform to the system as they asked…

           …But then still turn around and do this. And have already DONE worse things, too! And I think that’s going to affect how Luz sees her relationship with her mother… Because after seeing Eda betrayed like this, she’s going to wonder if she can trust her family, too; Especially after knowing how quick Camilia was to send Luz to summer camp, how she didn’t even bat an eye when Luz let go of her beloved hyperfixation like that…

           Luz knows that her mother loves her, and means the best, and was SO happy at the idea of Luz becoming ‘normal’, that there at least wasn’t malice on her part!

           But Eda also thought the same of her sister… and not only was Lilith still willing to do horrible things despite her own love for Eda being real, she already DID that terrible curse! So when Luz looks back on her interactions with her mother and all of the texts, she might wonder; Does her mother REALLY love her… and even if she did, is that enough? Because now she’s seen that familial love won’t stop some people from trying to turn their loved ones into what they want them to be, and after Camila’s track record, after the personal betrayal Luz must’ve felt from Lilith…

           …I can see Luz being afraid of Camila; Not so much afraid of disappointing her, but terrified of the extent that her mother will go towards making sure that Luz will become a ‘normal’ person. That even if Camila loves her daughter with all her heart, Lilith also felt the same towards Eda and look what she did! That Camila will still care for Luz, and because of that she’ll completely reject Luz’s obviously-meaningful decision to stay in the Boiling Isles with Eda and King, and just roll over Luz’s wishes. Because obviously her mother thinks she knows better, and also…

           If Lilith clearly felt some resentment towards Eda, after all; Then does Luz’s mother feel the same way?

           Aside from obvious apprehension, I can see Luz choosing to stay in the Boiling Isles permanently, without bothering to reconcile with her mother as an act of rejection; Rather than simply making a choice between her lives that she’s happy with! I’ve seen others point out that Luz can no longer access the human world now that Eda is captured, but at this point in time, after these betrayals, I don’t think she would want to. If anything, this would make her MORE adamant to avoid going back home…

          And I can see Luz outright rejecting her mother, just cutting off all ties entirely, because of a –reasonable- fear of betrayal. Maybe Luz will even feel anger towards her mother, knowing that despite loving Luz she still put her through this kind of conformative torment… She’ll see what ruthless things Lilith did to Eda, and Luz will feel like maybe her mother never loved her at all, or at the very least her love was no EXCUSE for this kind of action towards Luz!

          That Luz will accuse Camila, of deep-down, actually hating her daughter for not being ‘normal’, of having done these harmful things and knowing full and well what the consequences were, and STILL thinking it’s okay! That familial love alone does not excuse, justify, nor put aside harmful actions or even ward off resentment! And if this is how Camila feels about Luz, then maybe…

          …Maybe Luz should make the feeling mutual.

          As a side-note, if Luz didn’t actively hate the Blight Parents before, then after Agony of a Witch she DEFINITELY loathes them, despite them being Amity’s parents that she insists she loves and vice-versa! I could maybe even see her overstepping her boundaries to make it clear to Amity that her parents probably don’t care that much in the end, or even if they did that hasn’t stopped them from doing terrible things.

          And of course later down the line, Luz will realize that even if she IS right, she’s also possibly projecting some of her own feelings onto others, and is also guilty of overstepping Amity’s boundaries and pressuring her to rebel when she’s not comfortable yet, under the idea of wanting the best for her! THAT of course contributes more to her self-loathing and feeling unworthy of Amity, because Luz feels like her friend has already suffered enough and that Luz has contributed too much to this pain… you get the idea.

           (Seriously Luz, you are a CHILD don’t be so hard on yourself if you wouldn’t be as hard on Amity for the exact same reasons, and more…!)

           TL;DR Luz has zero doubt in her heart that Eda means the world to Lilith, but despite –or even because- of that love she’ll do terrible things to Eda. And considering that Luz means the world to Camila, and yet Camila was also willing to send her to the summer camp and didn’t bat an eye at Luz throwing away her hyper-fixation… Yeah. Luz is gonna notice the similarities.

           You dun goofed-up Lilith, not only did you give Luz trauma and ruin the relationship between her and Eda, but you ALSO ruined the relationship between Luz and her OTHER mother! Granted that was already fraught, but it also wasn’t hopeless either… Luz will likely project some of her own anger towards her mother onto Lilith when they fight!

           Honestly, I feel like a lot of emotional issues in this show could be resolved, or at least improved upon, if characters made it clear to one another just how much the other MEANT to them, on an unconditional level! This isn’t just applying to familial relationships, I mean this in GENERAL… Like between Luz and King, Luz and Amity… etc. Like these characters need to understand that they don’t need to justify their existences or their relationships with others, either!

[morethanonepage]

what would you say are the dynamics and themes that interest you most? Also frankly I'm surprised you read any star wars fic still, I agree on just wanting to read some good finnpoe but that has gotten increasingly futile.

i mean the thing i potentially like so much about finnpoe is that they BOTH have very specific, in some ways very different traumas (finn being a child soldier and growing up in such a highly regulated way where he had basically no bodily autonomy VS poe being mind-raped AND seeing his inability to stop it as having betrayed his own people AND seeing so many of his friends & comrades die in quick succession AND still recovering from the loss of his mother as a child and Muran when he was commanding Rapier Squadron) but they both have a tendency to compartmentalize that and continue to function on their own while being loyal (Finn’s devotion to Rey, which gets a lot of flack in fandom but like -- that’s one of the first people he’s been able to form a connection with!! AND I think he lowkey feels that it’s his fault Rey got dragged into -- everything, so he feels a great deal of responsibility for protecting her) and passionate about a cause (Poe basically killing himself to keep the Ideals Of The Republic Alive, be it through trying to hunt down the FO before he’s even part of the Resistance, to doing everything he can to keep the Resistance afloat once he is). 

like they have those similarities -- a real sense of duty and responsibility toward their friends and those they’re fighting with -- but they have fundamental differences in approach that the movies did a shitty job of extrapolating on when it could’ve been such an interesting conflict: Poe is the idealist and thinks of duty to a higher ideal first and foremost (like Leia and his mother, tbh) whereas Finn is more of a pessimist and a cynic and believes protecting your friends and loved ones from the substantial evil is hard enough without setting up to FIGHT ALL OF THE BAD IN THE UNIVERSE like Poe wants/believes he has to do. and both of these things are based so much on their upbringings! Poe grew up with those ideals and freedoms and parents who fought, successfully, to protect them, and believes he owes it to them to live up to their example and protect them as well; Finn has SEEN the evil of the FO firsthand and seen everyone around him subsumed by it, believes it to be omnipotent bc for him and his squad mates it literally was. escaping all of that was an act of powerful resistance on its own!

idk i just think a lot of the fandom’s take on this is, if you focus on finn ~running away~ in canon or not wanting to join up with the Resistance just ‘cause it’s ~the right thing to do~ you’re feeding into this idea of black men being cowards and/or selfish when it’s like no! that’s the consequence of his trauma: he’s running away from an abuser who controlled every aspect of his life, who’s set up to hunt him down and destroy planets and take over the universe in a way that’ll mean he’s NEVER safe, and he knows every single person he grew up with and had some affection for are a part of it too, which on the one hand he might be reluctant to fight them, but on the other they 100% won’t be reluctant to fight him AND they know him well enough to know his weaknesses. 

all of this is A LOT and it’s heavy and dark stuff, which i GET can be hard to work into like, light fluffy fic about finn finally being happy or learning what sex is or w/e, and not everything about fanfic has to be a ~deep exploration~ of character’s inner turmoil but like -- idk. there’s ways of dealing with these elements of finn’s backstory without making the whole thing drudging tragedy porn (which is ANOTHER fanfic trend i can’t stand -- neither Finn nor Poe are characters entirely without hope and fics that treat either of their tragedies [lbr it’s mostly poe’s that get dealt with] as the focus or main characteristic of either also bum me out) and I just really wish fandom had more interest in it. 

Another factor that KILLS ME is how Poe has (justifiably) developed OBVIOUS distrust for the force and force users, and would have such a fundamentally hard time dealing with the fact that Finn is one. Canon didn’t even let Finn be explicitly force sensitive, and fandom is like YAY FINN IS FORCE SENSITIVE, NOW HE CAN USE THE FORCE TO BONE (POE), and any fic that does touch on it makes Poe out to be ~unreasonable for not trusting Finn, or having his distrust be a consequence of his PTSD alone, and a sign he has to deal with his shit VS a very real issue that Poe might genuinely not be able to get over: the force CAN be creepy and is too easy to abuse, and a lot of what Poe’s seen it used for WAS bad. 

the other dimension of all this is, accidentally or not, these dynamics take on all sorts of real-world implications given both actor’s identities -- the explicit parallels between Finn’s upbringing and chattel slavery (taken from his family at an early age, losing all connection with his birthplace and culture, seen as useful but dispensable by an oppressive, mostly-white empire)  & its legacy for Black Americans (that lack of connection with a historical homeland and the loss of a cultural connection that came from it) VS the first generation latinx immigrant narrative that Poe and his family embody (the sacrifice for and long separation from a child in the service of giving them a better life, the burden that child takes upon themselves to make that sacrifice worth it by excelling in certain spheres, the drive to be the VERY BEST representative of their new culture, the embrace of that culture’s ideals bc they don’t want to think their parents sacrificed everything for a lie [with the creeping knowledge and experience to know many of those ideals are flawed and not always lived up to]). 

and the canon ignores that bc addressing it would require world building that couldn’t center/come back to the Skywalkers in some way (and the only family dynamics it’s interested in is DADDY ISSUES, fucking Free Fall), and fandom doesn’t care about it bc it’s mostly white girls who, AT BEST, decide to focus on the potential ~sexuality conflicts (coming out, family rejection, etc) when writing real world AUS, without dealing with the intersectionality of a black and a brown man, their respective cultural context, and the resultant conflicts those would create beyond, idk, “POCs are always homophobic so finn and/or poe’s parents kicked them out or w/e”.  and like I really don’t WANT these people trying to grapple with the complexity of a queer, interracial relationship where neither participant is white (i’ve seen enough just watching them grapple with either character’s sexuality tbh). 

but idk, that’s what’s interesting to me: finn and poe’s backgrounds and how those set up fundamental conflict points for both of them, both in canon (Poe’s devotion to the cause of liberty and democracy for the whole galaxy VS Finn’s duty to the people he loves over anything else) and in a real world au (Black people have a fundamentally different relationship to the American Ideal than Latinx immigrants do, for very good reasons). And I want those things to be significant elements of the characterization for both, but not the ONLY elements of characterization for both: stories should, in even some small way, be about what characters WANT (even if it is just “to fuck,” as it often is when I write [ok it’s usually “to love but be able to show it without saying it, hence the fucking”]) and so few fics, these days, give me any sense of what finn and poe want besides, vaguely “each other” (”because the author feels like they have to write them bc the actors are hot/for woke points”) and that is just -- boring to me. 

also god i would just love to read some dialogue that isn’t just twitter/tumblr memes and/or mcu level mean quips. like, just in general. 

[acesexualspock]

I don’t think I’ve seen anyone talk about the symbolism in Zuko’s dreams after he frees Appa so I’ve taken it upon myself to talk about it. A word of caution: this will be so messy and go in a hundred different directions but I hope you’ll be able to make some sense of what I’m saying. 

So Zuko comes home from Lake Laogai and collapses. He collapses because he has just made a decision so opposite his own image of himself that his body cannot handle the stress of trying to rationalize what has happened. 

And Zuko dreams. As Iroh nurses him to health, he dreams. 

He dreams of himself as the Firelord. But it’s a Zuko who is unmarked--who is still clean. A Zuko who still believes with all the fire in his heart that he has a Duty to stand up for those without a voice. A Zuko that hasn’t been scarred and hurt by the world. This is Zuko at his core--someone good and looking for guidance. 

In his dream, the guidance comes in the form of two dragons. They, obviously, represent his conscience and the two sides of himself that are at war, that have always been at war but are now raging against each other and Zuko as a result of what he has done. 

These dragons look like the dragons we’ve seen before. We have the “good” dragon who is red and looks a lot like Roku’s own dragon. And this dragon has Iroh’s voice. Iroh literally represents the good in Zuko. 

And the other dragon, the blue one, has Azula’s voice. 

Why Iroh and Azula? Iroh seems quite obvious--he has been the most constant source of safety and comfort in Zuko’s life. But why Azula? Why does she represent the evil at war inside of Zuko and not Ozai? Because Iroh and Azula are two of the closest people to Zuko. 

Again, Iroh’s closeness to Zuko is obvious, but Azula? Zuko was never close to his dad. He has memories of being a family with both his parents, but it seems obvious that Ozai was always more distant. After Ursa, Azula is the closest to Zuko in their immediate family. They’re siblings. Even after all the manipulation and terrible things Azula says to him, Zuko is inclined to believe her. To believe she wants what’s best for him. How could his own sister do him harm?

So we have this blue and red dragon representing the warring halves of Zuko’s mind and spirit. Where else do we see a blue and red dragon? In The Avatar and the Firelord. Like I already said, Roku had a red dragon. Who had a blue one? Sozin. So we have Iroh, who has no relation to Roku, representing the Avatar’s animal guide. And we have Azula, who is Roku’s Granddaughter, representing Sozin and his betrayal. Showing us that out past does Not define us and that we can choose our own destiny.

BUT a red and blue dragon show up again! The Firebending Masters! This is arguably the moment when Zuko really, truly comes to terms and is at peace with his decision to turn his back on his abusers, who he has realized will never love him, and join Aang. Zuko has lost his firebending because he is no longer at war with himself. He is no long so terribly Angry with himself. And the dragons, the dragons that resemble the two sides of himself, who resemble the Avatar and Sozin’s dragons, those dragons come together and show him the peace and life in fire. 

The two sides of himself finally work together and show Zuko how to move forward. 

Then there’s Zuko’s second dream. The one where he wakes up and has become Aang. Zuko sees this image and is terrified. Why?

It’s not until Book 3 that Zuko allows himself to admit that his father will never love him, that his father never has. Up until Day of Black Sun, Zuko is holding on to this hope that his father could love him, could accept him. 

And Aang is the one thing in the world that goes directly against his father. Only the Avatar can stop the Fire Nation. It is the Avatar’s destiny to fight and defeat the Firelord. And at the time of his dreams, Zuko doesn’t want to be that. Zuko is still craving the affection and acceptance of his father. 

But Zuko has also seen the horrors his people have brought to the world. He is the only person in his immediate family that has. Ozai has never left the Fire Nation. When Azula left she is still being treated like a princess, even in Ba Sing Se. 

But Zuko has spent 3 years in banishment. Zuko has had nothing. Zuko has traveled the Earth Kingdom and seen, firsthand, the suffering and hatred the actions of the Fire Nation have brought to people. He has seen refugees--been one of them.

And it doesn’t sit well with Zuko. He wants to end this suffering. He doesn’t like that this is what’s happening and that he’s been lied to all his life about what the Fire Nation was bringing to the rest of the world. He doesn’t know how to stop it. 

But the Avatar does. 

So Zuko dreams that he has let go of his father and the lies he’s been told. He dreams that he is moving forward and defending the world, the way the Avatar does. But Zuko is still so afraid and still feeling so alone. 

So the thought of turning his back on the people who are supposed to Love him scares him so much. 

Because he knows if he ever turned against his father, Ozai would strike a blow far worse than a simple scar. 

[aliceslantern]

Give/Take, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 6

Ienzo has been too busy since the war to be overwhelmed by the past. But with little progress to be made in his work with Kairi, old nightmares start to invade.

Riku is a glorified housesitter. Lonely and faced with no choice but to wait for a way to find his friends, he eagerly accepts when Ienzo asks him to help do repairs around the castle. Before long, the two strike up an unlikely friendship, united by their dark pasts and their attempts to be better people.

But just as they begin to consider something more... Kairi wakes up.

Ienzoku (Ienzo/Riku), post-Melody of Memory, slow burn. Updates Thursdays until it's done.

Chapter summary: Ienzo has a conversation with Ansem, leading him to a crucial realization about his feelings for Riku.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

Riku did seem awfully despondent when that day came. Ienzo insisted he not spend it alone, that he come to Radiant Garden. Somewhere along the way Riku’s emotional wellbeing had become important to him, though why he wasn’t sure.

Well. He knew why .

All this time spent together. Ienzo may have been inexperienced, but he wasn’t naive. He could see Riku looking at him, sometimes, out of the corner of his eye. Whatever was happening between them was clearly growing and also clearly mutual. Thinking about it too hard made his palms sweat and his heart race--with anxiety.

He wasn’t good enough. Riku’d had--mostly a normal life. He deserved someone whole and who could be completely emotionally available to him. This had to be a passing attraction--a combination of Ienzo’s newfound feelings and Riku’s boredom. That was all.

But if it was passing … how come over the course of these months, and the time they’d only gotten to know each other better… why was it getting stronger ?

Ienzo realized that he desperately wanted to talk to someone about this. He also realized that the person he most wanted to discuss it with, the person whose opinion on the matter was most important, was Riku, and the notion of doing that felt like cutting the wrong wire on a bomb. After all, once his friends were back, wouldn’t Riku just go home… and move on with his life? It was unrealistic to expect him to stay here for Ienzo.

He wasn’t sure he liked the way this felt.

“Ienzo?”

His head snapped up from the tablet in his hands. “Yes, Master?”

Ansem sighed. “How many times must I tell you to call me by my name?”

“I’m… sorry. Habit,” he lied. In reality, it felt undeserved. Everything still felt undeserved. He and Ansem had sat down multiple times to talk and try to get to know each other better, but as gracious as the man was, Ienzo still felt an awful pang of guilt.

“Forgive me, but… something seems to weigh heavily on your heart. Moreso than usual,” he said.

Ienzo looked into his rust-colored eyes. This man was his father , he forced himself to think, and as much as that was the truth it was still difficult to internalize. “I suppose it must be quite obvious,” he said.

“Well, yes. Why don’t we sit down for a few minutes? Have some tea?”

He glanced back over at Kairi.

“The girl can wait a little while, I think,” Ansem said gently.

Ienzo tried to swallow the nerves. They went back into the office, gathered yet more tea. His feet throbbed when he sat down.

“So what is it?” Ansem asked.

He took a deep breath. “I feel… undeserving,” he began. “Of so many things. Receiving any comfort from you after what I’ve put you through, firstly.”

“Ienzo, you were not the one to oust me from this place. You said yourself that you were a child, and they lied to you about the reason for my… disappearance.” He winced.

“Even so. If I had not convinced you to build that lab--”

“If I recall correctly, the intentions for it were much different, much less insidious, at the time,” Ansem continued. “Not to mention… the others, especially Xehanort, knew how much of a soft spot I had for you. I’m sure it was easy to make you think it was all your idea.”

Ienzo shook his head slowly. “I should’ve known better.”

“You were a boy,” he said. “Ienzo, your expectations of your past self in the situation are far too high. A child can only know what they’ve been taught.”

“You hold no resentment whatsoever?” Ienzo asked. “I find that hard to believe.”

Ansem sighed. “I had a lot of time to think, where I was, and yet more now that we’ve been here. To say I do not have any bitterness in my heart is a lie. At the same time… I’ve seen your ambition, since you’re yourself again. You mean to atone for your mistakes. So do I. I have no reason to hold any blame for you anymore. It won’t help either of us move on.”

Move on. Ienzo did not know how to move on. He wondered, briefly, what his life would be like once this was all over, and felt a seed of dread tighten in his stomach. Especially with Riku gone.

“What’s on your mind?” Ansem asked.

“I just…” Ienzo exhaled and smoothed the ascot tied at his throat. “The truth is lately I’ve been feeling a great many things that scare me. Everything about this life seems so… loud and so intense. And I worry about… what the outcome of those feelings might be. I know I don’t deserve it.”

“Whatever do you mean?” The glint in his eye suggested he may know what Ienzo was referring to, but wanted to make him say it.

Very well. “I’m concerned I may be…” He took a quick breath. Saying it would make it concrete, more concrete than the feelings in his body. “That I may be harboring feelings? For someone?”

Ansem tapped his fingertips together. “Romantic feelings?”

“Maybe? I don’t know,” Ienzo said, knowing instantly that was a lie. He felt his face flush. “And I don’t… Master, I don’t know how to do friendship and I clearly don’t know how to do family. How am I supposed to be able to… be good enough for this person? For anyone?” He took a long drink of the still-quite-hot tea to smother the lump in his throat.

Ansem thought about it. “Ienzo, ever since I’ve been back here I haven’t seen you stray once onto that selfish, dark path. I see what you’ve devoted in order to atone, and I also see its price. You’re a young person. You needn’t waste all your years alone in solitary work--regardless of how that companionship may manifest.”

Ienzo shook his head slowly. “I have so much to make up for.”

Ansem leaned forward. “And you are. You will. But I don’t think that punishing yourself when you are doing everything in your power already will help the situation.”

Ienzo wanted to believe that so badly.

“You are too young to have such a heavy heart,” Ansem said. “Ultimately… you were also someone who lost years of your life due to the experiments and the circumstance. You were also a victim.”

Ienzo felt tears in his eyes. “No. That can’t be true.”

“You were a child. Lied to. Manipulated. It should’ve been the adults in the situation who stopped this, yet they did not. How can it be your fault that you turned out a certain way? It is possible for it to be true that you were both a victim and you did things of enormous consequence. One, in fact, begat the other.”

Ienzo didn’t know what to say.

Ansem smiled sadly. “I know I cannot convince you to forgive yourself. That’s something that you have to do yourself. But I hope you can begin to do so. Remaining trapped within those feelings only gives your mistakes more power.”

He was right, Ienzo realized. He was right. The tears broke free.

Ansem squeezed his hand. “I think the object of your affection understands this well.”

Ienzo sniffled. “Is it very obvious? Does everyone know?”

“Not quite. Even is still Even, after all, oblivious as always. But what I know of the boy… what I’ve experienced of him firsthand…” Ansem sighed. “I think he understands, Ienzo, better even than you might think. Moreover…” A mischievous glint came into his eye. “I think he may feel the same.”

“I know he does,” Ienzo said.

“You feel you do not deserve such things.”

“I know I don’t. And we’re now going around and around in circles.” He brought a hand to his forehead.

Ansem thought a moment. “Have you talked about it?”

“I can’t just bring it up. ”

“Why not? If you’re so sure it’s mutual?”

“It’d change everything. He has… he has a whole life. And I have…” He faltered on “nothing.” “Perhaps this is just desperation and loneliness on my part, because I…” He realized he had nothing else to say.

Because he was, essentially, making excuses.

Slowly, Ienzo stood. “I see,” he said. “Thank you for the tea and sympathy.”

“Where are you going?”

“I need to think,” he said. “I’ll… I’ll be back to work in a little while.”

Ansem nodded. “Take your time,” he said.

---

Riku sighed and flexed his hands. He’d just spent the better part of an hour cranking bolts into place with a ratchet wrench, and his wrist was killing him. He put the wrench back in its toolbox, took off his brace, and gave it a good stretch. He could go to any of the healers he knew and have them fix it. But for some reason it always slipped his mind, or wasn’t bad enough, to warrant fixing. A quick rebreak and it would be back to normal.

He went back to his room, showered and got changed. It was already getting cool again. The year mark was coming up fast.

For perhaps the first time… Riku almost wished it would last a little longer. But then he thought of his friends, conscious, alive, and the thought disappeared.

Only to reappear when he saw Ienzo at his doorway. “Oh, hey Ienzo,” Riku said. The other boy looked a bit stressed, his face pinched and eyes red. “Are you… okay?”

“Do you… have a few minutes? Or were you on your way out?” His nostrils flared a little.

He tugged his hair back into its customary ponytail. “I’ve got time.”

“...Walk with me?”

The sun was just starting to set. Ienzo’s pace was brisk, almost frenetic, and Riku’s anxiety spiked. “Did something happen?” he asked.

“Kairi is fine,” Ienzo reassured him quickly, though he seemed no less agitated. “This has nothing to do with that.”

“Then… what does …”

They ended up in a breezeway that overlooked the town. Ienzo took a deep breath. “I need to say something before I lose my nerve,” he began. “Because it has been causing me an awful lot of stress and frankly I’d like to just put the whole matter to bed.”

Riku blinked. “I don’t follow.”

He ran his hands through his hair. “This whole… game between us, the past few months,” he said. “The… banter, the longing gazes, the…” He exhaled in frustration. “Once she’s awake you’ll have a job to do and I can’t afford to keep taking you from it.”

Riku felt somewhat paralyzed. “Taking me… from it?”

Ienzo looked him in the eye. There was something pleading in his own. “I…” He was breathing audibly. “I feel something for you, something I shouldn’t, and I just think… well--” He stuttered. Riku had never seen him like this, and it made his own pulse thunder in his ears. “You deserve better. I’d hold you back. The darkness of our pasts--”

He put up a hand. “Wait. Wait. Slow down. Just breathe a minute. You like me?”

“Unfortunately.”

He couldn’t quite suppress the beginnings of a smile.

“But it’d never work.”

Riku was dizzy. “But--why?”

Ienzo rubbed his upper arms, like he was cold. “I'm older than you, our lives have had vastly different paths. We don't even have much in common--”

“What is it really about?”

Ienzo seemed startled. “I’m not…” He was trembling. “You’re… I’m not good enough, Riku, I’m just not. If you knew even half of the things I’ve done you’d run out of here screaming.”

“For some reason I doubt that.” He took a step closer to him. “Both of our lives have been shaped by darkness.”

“But you’ve overcome it, and I’m--”

“No, it’s not something you can just overcome ,” he said. “It takes… it takes work, day in and day out, and even then, it’s still… part of you. But choosing a different path… like we both have… that’s what matters.”

“I’m just starting,” Ienzo whispered.

“But you’re starting,” he pointed out. He was close to him now, close enough to realize that they were very nearly the same height. “And so far I think you’re doing awesome.”

“You deserve someone whole,” Ienzo said.

“Someone “whole” wouldn’t get it,” Riku said, daring to gently rest a hand on his shoulder. “You’re the only person I can talk to about these sorts of things. The only person who doesn’t make me feel… well, insane , or kind of disgusting about it.”

Ienzo let out a long breath. “I see,” he said softly. “So… what now, then?”

“I know what I want,” he said. “But do you?”

“I think I do.” He reached up and brushed his fingers across Riku’s cheek, his touch so soft and delicate Riku shuddered. “I… I must be crazy…”

“Then we both are, I think.”

Ienzo leaned in a little closer, almost hesitantly. Riku could smell him, something like sandalwood, and for a second he thought he might faint--

He nodded a little, to show this was okay, this was wanted, and finally Ienzo closed the gap and kissed him.

For some reason Riku thought he might have more experience, but as they grappled it was clear this was uncharted territory for both of them, messy and a bit awkward. But it was really happening, he was actually kissing him, and after this strange moment of trying to learn what to do they both seemed to understand a bit better. They were both breathing shakily. Riku pulled him closer. The sensation of touch after so long without was overwhelming, making him feel still dizzier. This was so-- nice --

After an unknowable amount of time, Ienzo pulled away. “Oh,” he said softly, touching his lip. “I see. I suppose it was clear I’ve never--”

“Me either.”

“Really? I’m surprised.”

He raised an eyebrow. “When would I have the time?”

“Well, perhaps when you were in school--have you seen you?” he asked.

Riku laughed, and Ienzo did too, and finally Riku saw the awful tension leave his shoulders. “You’re not so bad yourself. So… what should we do now?”

“We could finish our walk,” he said. “I’m… dizzy. ”

“I am too.”

Ienzo offered his hand. “Might as well. Isn’t this what people do?”

He took it. “I think so. Yeah.”

Another small burst of nervous laughter. “That was not how I expected today to go,” he said.

“Uh, yeah, I would think so,” Riku said.

A few beats of silence. “But what about the future?”

“Let’s not think about that,” Riku said. “Why don’t we just… enjoy this?”

“...Alright.”

[nyahuaisang]

Sangcheng Analysis

I'm gonna talk about why sangcheng is a great ship that, if written right, would be just as perfect as wangxian. To do this I've come up with a system to determine whether a ship is good or not.

Chemistry: This is whether their relationship has potential or not. Would these two be able to grow to like each other? Could a connection be made? Basically, is something there?

ex. jin ling and jiang cheng would never have chemistry because they see one another as family

Circumstance: This is whether the lives they live and how they exist in the world of the story they're in affects their relationship or not. Would their actions cause a ripple in their relationship? Would their responsibilities cause them to fall out? Are there people that they care for more that unless explained away, would override ship person a's love for ship person b?

e.x. jiang cheng would never fall in love with jin guangyao because he put jin ling in danger; it's highly unlikely for mingjue to start something with wen qing if his relationship with xichen is still stable because he clearly cares for xichen in canon.

Dynamic: This is whether their roles and position in the story compliments each other or not. Are they foils to one another? Do they work well together? Do they have differing opinions and beliefs?

e.x. while definitely having chemistry of some sort and the circumstances do make them a compelling ship, their extremely differing beliefs and priorities make jfm/yzy a very toxic pairing

Of course these often overlaps one another but I think this is the best way to organize everything and there definitely are exceptions to them, like rarepairs, crackships, aus, ships purely for angst, etc..etc...and people enjoy them because they lack one or more of these points but I brought these points up in particular because sangcheng has high levels of all of them.

Chemistry

Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang has been friends since their time at Gusu at age 15 and possibly even before that as they're already good friends by the time they're at Gusu and Huaisang knows that JC and WWX are as close as brothers, something the normal Nie sect disciples didn't seem to know. In fact, Huaisang is the only one to be as close as he is to the Jiang bros. This could be chalked off as he's the only other sect heir their age who isn't an ass to their sister but I don't see either wwx or jc as someone who would reject someone's friendship because of their status(JC only does this when it actually jeopardizes his sect/status).

Huaisang also fits quite well into JC's list of marriage partner requirements.

Gentle Beauty: Self explanatory

Obedient: Huaisang's very passive and tends to listen to what people tells him unless he absolutely doesn't want to or can't accept it. He's obedient but he's not conforming nor a slave to people's orders. E.x. him running into the demon eating cave(or whatever) when WWX told everyone told to; he follows the Gusu Lan rules to an extent, etc etc..

Economical: Despite seemingly being spoiled and loves trinkets, Huaisang most likely would try to get things for a good price if he were to handle the finances himself. Despite it falling in reputation somewhat, he still kept the Nie Sect as one of the top 4 even after 13 years and if he sometimes spend a lot that's only because he's....

From a good family: The Nie Sect is one of the 4 most prominent sects so Huaisang grew up being spoiled often(Xichen and JGY tells Mingjue to stop spoiling him) and while he's not to the point of spending money on expensive items all the times, he'd probably still aware that he has a big budget and can afford to spend a lot sometimes.

Cultivation should not be too high: Self explanatory

Personality not too strong: Huaisang is not as aggressive as his brother nor as loud/outspoken as WWX. He's quite mellow and down-to earth most of the time

Doesn't talk too much: Huaisang prefers letting others talk and chiming in when he sees fit, such as during Gusu arc and 2nd siege.

Isn't too loud: pretty much self explanatory

Doesn't spend too much money: look at Economical. While Huaisang does spend a lit on trinkets, his net worth and family status should be taken into consideration.

Good to Jin Ling: This is the most controversial part but I will explain why this is not a problem in the next part.

They both know exactly what the other has been through as they've gone through the same lost and experience. They both lost a sibling to a person they also considered a sibling and was left behind all by themselves in the position of their sect's throne at a young age. Understanding the pain the other person went through plays a great part in how much chemistry a relationship will have because the pairing knows each other better and knows exactly what the other needs in their time of grief.

Circumstance

The biggest circumstantial problem is undoubtedly how much danger Jin Ling got into. However, I believe none of those instances were due to Huaisang. Jin Ling got into the 2nd siege and Guanyin Temple himself, outside of Huaisang's control. JGY took Jin Ling hostage of his own volition. It makes absolutely no sense story wise for Huaisang to have led Jin Ling to the Man Eating Castle or Yi City because Wangxian were already heading there. Huaisang knows that the arm would led them to these locations, that's why he planted it for wangxian to find. And if he didn't know the other parts would be in these locations, he wouldn't have known to lead Jin Ling there in the first place.

And in all these instances, having Jin Ling being in these places doesn't benefit Huaisang in anyway. Wangxian was already heading to these places and all Jin Ling and the Juniors did was add more lives for Wangxian to worry about. If the kids hadn't been well behaved and listened to WWX, it might've led to WWX slipping up and dying to Xue Yang or Song Lan to protect them and pushing Huaisang back to square 1. There's also no proof other then WWX's suspicions. Thr hunter that led the kids to Yi City was nondescript. WWX may be smart but he is not god. He doesn't know everything and is an unreliable narrator at times.

On the other hand, there are a lot of circumstantial positives for SangCheng. They're both sect heirs and they both did just as terrible actions as the other. Huaisang indirectly caused the death of the Mo family(not mxy though, we have no proof of that either and I have my reasons as to why I believe he didnt push him into it) and caused Xichen some trauma and Jiang Cheng led a siege on what he knows is not just farmers and elders but also a TODDLER. One's actions would not cause the other to reject them because that would be pure hypocriticism.

Dynamic

Sangcheng has one of the best dynamics I've ever seen. They're a perfect example of the Power Couple. Their way of life compliments each other and one's flaws are made up for by the other. Jiang Cheng's leadership-ness and domineering characteristic gives Huaisang a voice to speak out with. He may have hid more then he showed but Huaisang is not someone who takes center stage to speak his thoughts, he's very much an introvert who prefers to talk when other people starts the conversation. In turn, Huaisang's mellow, calm and collectedness would reign Jiang Cheng in should he get too hot headed. Huaisang would know when and how to calm Jiang Cheng since he had Mingjue as a brother and especially after his qi deviation, Huaisang would know when to put his foot down.

Them knowing what each other went through also does wonders for ther dynamic because they're the two characters in the series who knows each other the most at their deepest, darkest, most vulnerable cores. Jiang Cheng would know why Huaisang did all he did as he knows the pain of losing a sibling and vice versa.

Conclusion

As childhood friends and fellow sect leaders, Sangcheng would have plenty of chances to grow closer and it's heighten by how much Huaisang fits Jiang Cheng's ideals. They both did just as terrible shit as each other so they wouldn't judge each other and it's highly unlikely Huaisang had anything to do with the bs Jin Ling got into. Their strengths make up for each other's flaws and they know firsthand what the other went through and how they feel. Sangcheng is honestly one of the best ships, on par with Wangxian and I hope this meta gives a better insight and open some people's eyes to it (*´ω｀)

[gray-warden]

What is the problem with white people traveling to asia without money? Like how are you going to brand calling the cops on someone without a visa as justice, then try and spin them pretending that the native language (which they speak fluently enough to at least pretend is their only language) is reminiscent of colonialism? Also you made it seem like American propaganda is effective in china with your tags which is weird. Just seems like y'all got galaxy brain with racism so hard it got harmful.

when did i say i’d call the cops? i wouldn’t do anything about it besides getting pissed internally lmao. and when did i say anything abut languages? i have genuinely no clue what you mean about american propaganda in china, like, i mean it when i say i don’t get what you’re saying there. i didn’t even mention china in my tags at all, and i only mentioned the US specifically when i mentioned the case of that american woman who wanted to “play doctor” and caused deaths. still, white privilege and racism are not an “american propaganda” thing, it’s something that affects the whole world, white people will pretty much always have an easier time with lots of stuff, including being automatically seen as more qualified and trustworthy, and with law enforcement everywhere, since colonialism affected the entire world, very few countries were never invaded by europeans.what i’m saying is: - it’s bad when people from rich countries that often got rich through colonialism, by harming other countries, complain abt immigrants coming from the countries they harmed because those countries were harmed in that way. even if those people now weren’t responsible for it, they still benefit from how their country developed while it had colonies, and the people in ex-colonies still suffer because of their past as colonies. - an american woman going to africa to make herself feel good about helping others when she ended up killing people bc she wasn’t a doctor like she claimed to be? that’s bad. i hope it’s obvious enough to understand why that’s bad. (also, i looked it up again, i had briefly read abt it at some point, but it was a while back so i didn’t remember all the details, but here: https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2019/08/09/749005287/american-with-no-medical-training-ran-center-for-malnourished-ugandan-kids-105-d she clearly wanted to help, but setting up a health clinic when you have zero qualifications for that is not the way to do it at all, that’s just obvious. if she really wanted to help for the sake of helping, she could’ve donated to groups that can actually help instead. - travelling is great, but it’s not a basic human necessity like food or housing. going on a trip to a place that you /know/ has lots of inequality and then relying on the locals to keep travelling more is just stupid. would i call the cops or whatever on them? no. but i still think it’s stupid. i know that at least here in brazil, if we got begpackers, those people would get a lot more money than people who are begging for money to actually survive, because the tourists would most likely be white people from richer countries, and i know how people would be a lot more likely to give money to those people, who don’t need it to survive (bc they’re white and from “first world countries”, and just wanna travel, unlike the homeless and usually black people in poverty you see every day who get treated as lesser than human by way too many people here - i know that homelessness won’t be solved by people giving homeless people money, but it might still help them survive, get a meal, catch a bus/train so they can go somewhere they may have family or to a shelter). i’m not saying you gotta have a ton of money if you wanna travel, but travelling somewhere with the intention of relying on others when you could just, idk, not do that? it’s a stupid thing to do. what if they don’t help you? are you gonna be stuck then? then you made a bad, irresponsible decision. or do you have enough money to go back in case that happens? then you shouldn’t be begging random people on the street for money. i got nothing against people who travel with little money by hitchhiking, doing odd jobs here and there for it, who sell some stuff they might have, but deciding to travel and, since the beginning of your plans, intending on having to beg strangers for money is just a very irresponsible decision at best. people doing that shit are usually just doing it for the “enlightening experience” or whatever, which is how many western people approach asia, there’s a big stereotype of “exotic enlightenment”, especially when it comes to the southern and southeastern parts of the continent (based on what i’ve heard from both ppl who go there and people who live there - i, as mentioned in the post, am from brazil).People who do that kind of thing are usually extremely condescending and stereotyping about their trips to “exotic places” where they “seek enlightenment and truth” or whatever othre stuff they may say.No, i wouldn’t call the cops on them or anything like that, that was /one/ picture out of lots in the post, it wasn’t the point of it, and if you thought so, you really missed it. and to be honest, i was kinda tired, so i did just scroll kinda fast at some point and might not have looked that closely at a couple of pics because they were just more examples of the same phenomenon. and i didn’t really pay attention to the one with police, tbh. i’d never call the police on anyone begging for money, even if it’s a case like that. i don’t support that, but i still support the general message of the post.if you’re travelling and then get robbed or something like that, or a medical emergency happens, or anything else that might need a lot of money, and then you do end up needing more money than you had in your plans for the trip, then that kind of situation would be more understandable (but also, that’s why you should have some way to have access to money in an emergency situation, even if through a friend or family member, because those things can happen in trips). but if you don’t have an emergency plan, i’d understand actually needing the money, but that’s not the case for most begpackers. there’s a reason why many people in parts of asia, especially SE asia afaik, have been complaining about them a lot, there have been lots lately, based on what people >who actually live thereseeing certain parts of the world as “my place to explore so i can finally be enlightened” or “a place where we, the Good White People™, have to intervene so we can save the Poor Starving Kids™” or “a place where i can become one with nature in the wild, savage, mysterious jungles” or any other thing that ignores that it’s just a place with normal people who have their own lives and culture and all that (as much as where you’re from is a place with normal people who have their own lives and culture and all that) just reduces those places and their people to stereotypes that are often harmful. of course there are gonna be differences between where you’re from and where you’re going to, if there weren’t then there wouldn’t be a point in travelling, but it shouldn’t be hard to just not be stereotyping and ignorant about it all, you can enjoy travelling without being Like That.(and the post also talked about how much easier it is to get jobs or just to generally be seen as more trustworthy and qualified when you’re white and everyone else around you isn’t, and that’s def also a true and important thing to acknowledge)anyway, you sent this message to me specifically and mentioned my tags as well, so i answered, but if you wanna complain more about people who point out that begpackers are annoying and often full of entitlement and stereotypical views of certain places, then maybe ask a person who lives somewhere with lots of begpackers, someone who isn’t white. they might be able to tell you more about the whole phenomenon and the people who do it, how annoying they can be, etc, since they’ve experienced it firsthand rather than just heard a lot about it.

[pyropsychiccollector]

            Kagura raised an eyebrow as Jellal got up from his kneeling position. The two of them, in addition to a recuperating Erza, were currently on the ship that Neinhart and the other Spriggan Shields had been in command of. The swordswoman had thought the felon was taking time to catch his breath after nearly drowning, but that didn’t seem to be the case as he’d only stayed sitting for a modest amount of time.

            Then again, he wasn’t exactly as roughed up as Erza.

            “You’re re-entering the fray?” It didn’t sound much like a question.

            Jellal paused in his stride, back still facing Kagura.

            “The fighting here in the South is over, for the most part. I will leave the remainder to Fairy Tail, Lamia Scale, and Mermaid Heel. From what Erza said, there are still these ‘Spriggan 12’ warriors invading Ishgar; I will help eliminate them. That is something I can do.”

            Kagura frowned at the tone in his voice. He didn’t think it was something he ‘can’ do – Jellal believed it was something he had to do. Defeating three of the Shields here in Hargeon, in addition to the ones that attacked Magnolia, that dealt with a chunk of the threat, but they were still at war.

            Kagura looked off to the side with a conflicted expression.

            “… Erza will prefer to have your support, when she wakes up.” The swordswoman knew Jellal was… an important person in Erza’s heart. Kagura didn’t approve of it, but she was putting Erza ahead of her own misgivings about Jellal.

            Jellal turned his head a fraction, but still didn’t face Kagura.

            “If you’re speaking of what happened to Natsu… Erza will be fine. I’m not the one she’ll need by her side – that would be you, as well as Milliana and her family in Fairy Tail. The best way I can contribute is by continuing the fight while you all recover…”

            Kagura’s mouth became a thin line as she gave Jellal a hard stare.

            “You’re not saying this halfheartedly, are you? Erza will fully expect you to make it back alive, not in a body casket.”

            Though Kagura couldn’t see it, Jellal had a small, somewhat self-depreciating smile on his face.

            “… I’ll admit, I was prepared to throw my life away at any given moment, in this war. In the end, compared to you all, my life is expendable.” He could sense this provoked the purple-haired woman, and he shook his head to quell whatever objections she was going to spew. “But as usual, Natsu gave me a fresh perspective on what I should do. Do you remember what he said, before fading?”

            Kagura’s brow furrowed.

            “He… hated you.” To herself, she thought, ‘Not that I can blame him.’

            Jellal gave a small dry laugh.

            “Natsu was a very temperamental individual… He had a heart of gold, and often his rage was very much warranted. If I hadn’t hurt Erza like I did, I have little doubt that I would be as protective of Erza as he was…” Jellal looked up at the nighttime sky. “I don’t blame Natsu for being angry with me. He had every right to. But it isn’t as if I could never earn his forgiveness… No, that’s not quite right. The point isn’t to earn forgiveness. In atoning for my past sins, I cannot dwell on such things; if people forgive me, it will be of their own volition. I can’t expect everyone to just move on, when I’ve stolen family from them or worse. Rather, I must dedicate my life to helping others. To fight back against oppression and cruelty. To help lost souls find their path in life. And if I am to do all this, I must… live. Dying would be my escape from this heavy burden on my shoulders… But it is a coward’s retreat.”

            Jellal began to walk away once again.

            “I was a monster and a murderer. That stain will never leave my soul. But Natsu freed me, so for him, for Erza, and for everyone I ever wronged, this is how I will live my life from now on. Ultear established Crime Sorciere for the purpose of saving lives and ending evil, so I will carry out that will.”

            Kagura watched his retreating figure until he was out of sight; she was unable to think of anything else to say back to him. It was a shock to see her brother’s murderer change so much, in such little time. A year ago, she was prepared to take revenge for Simon, but now she wasn’t so sure that she could… Not just because of how it would affect Erza, but because of how the man in question had found an answer he had been searching for.

            Jellal likely wouldn’t find happiness in life… But Kagura knew about “duty” and “purpose” all too well; if that’s how Jellal chose to forge on, she wouldn’t stop him.

            ‘… Natsu managed to pull off another miracle, even in death. It’s little wonder he was dear to Erza’s heart as well…’

            Kagura turned her gaze to the bound Neinhart, who was near her and unconscious. It was fortunate how Erza had Magic-restraining handcuffs; now that despicable man was removed from the war. Apparently Dimaria was similarly restrained elsewhere in Hargeon.

            Kagura clenched her fists in determination.

            ‘For Erza, and for Natsu, we will win this war!’

            ~*~

            “The port of Hargeon has been liberated!!!” Warren announced excitedly, to the jubilation of his Guildmates. “There’s a few residue forces on the outskirts, but we’ve got ‘em on the ropes! The Spriggan Shields were killed or captured.”

            Makarov couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief.

            “Very good… Now it’s just a fight on three fronts.”

            Mavis cupped her chin as she stared at the map hologram.

            “… Have everyone in Hargeon move to intercept the Alvarez forces to the West. It’s our least guarded area, and there’s only the one Spriggan Shield.”

            “Invel…” Makarov frowned as he bore holes into the map with his eyes. “I’m certain he’s the Spriggan Shield in the West. If he is in fighting shape, please send Gray to intercept him. He may be our best option now.”

            “Yes, sir!” Warren confirmed and proceeded to relay the orders to those stationed in the South, as well as relay the news of Hargeon’s liberation to the other battlefields.

            “The East still troubles me…” Mavis furrowed her brow. “I still don’t have a solution for August.”

            Makarov nodded heavily.

            “Even if Warrod and the other Gods of Ishgar hold off God Serena and Jacob, he is most definitely the most imminent threat.”

            “Do you have any ideas?” Mavis asked for his opinion, which for Makarov was a rare occurrence. The First Master was usually so confident she could come up with a strategy for any occasion… But to be fair, August was on his own level in terms of sheer power.

            “If we cannot find a strategy to take him down, I think it would be best to try negotiations with him… He would certainly be more approachable than Invel.” Makarov reflected on his time in Alvarez, seeing the stark contrast between Zeref’s Chief of Staff and the Magic King.

            This brought the attention of Mest, who was seated nearby. He stood up in alarm.

            “Master, surely you can’t be serious…! That woman was the one who suggested it first! We can’t trust her!”

            Makarov sighed at Mest’s unchanging position on the matter. It was a good thing Lucy was busy watching over Brandish; after saving the Spriggan Shield from an attack by her former subordinate, and learning of their shared past, Lucy had become rather attached to her. There was no need to get the child worked up over this.

            “I understand your hesitation, but it is not an option that we can dismiss. I’m not sure that Erza, Laxus, Mira, and Gildarts with their combined powers could defeat August… Mest, use your head. Negotiations may be our only hope of avoiding annihilation by the enemy. It’s risky, but we must consider all the cards in our hand.”

            Mavis’s frown deepened.

            “We killed Zeref… Are you sure he would listen, even after hearing that news?”

            Makarov shook his head solemnly.

            “I imagine that may very well provoke him… But what other options do we have left?” The elderly Guildmaster studied Mavis’s face keenly, to which she could only stare down at the floor, lost in thought.

            “You’re right, of course… There’s also the Spriggan Shield to our North that we still don’t know specifics about. If we could negotiate an end to the war with August, that may be our best chance at survival.”

            “First…!” Mest cried out in a strangled voice.

            “Mest, that is enough.” Makarov barked. “We’re not giving up. The war is far from over, and Acnologia has yet to make an appearance. If we can cooperate with Alvarez, we may stand a chance against him. But if we exhaust ourselves fighting Alvarez, I fear Acnologia may swoop in to pick the meat from our bones!”

            At this, Mest could utter no objections. He knew the frightening power of Acnologia, had witnessed the carnage he could wreak firsthand. Still, cooperating with an enemy that was trying to steal their First Master and annihilate them… It didn’t sit well with him.

            “A-About that…” Warren spoke up with a very pale face.

            “Hmm?” Makarov urged the telepath to continue with the new information.

            Warren squeezed his eyes shut tight.

            “Acnologia has appeared in the East…”

            All Guildmates listening in could only gasp and tense up. That battlefield was turning into quite the scene… and could spell bad news for Fairy Tail.

            ~*~

            God Serena tsk’ed as he avoided another tree sprouting out from the ground underneath him. He’d been going at it with his former allies for a while now. Despite overwhelming them with his eight Dragon Slayer Lacrimas, the old fossils just wouldn’t stay down. They should’ve been dead at his feet by this point, but somehow they were tapping into a wellspring of power he hadn’t seen from them in all the years he served Ishgar…

            ‘Who knew they had it in them…?’ Serena thought to himself grimly as Hyberion paralyzed him long enough for Wolfheim to charge at him and savagely slash his torso while in beast form. He regained control of his body pretty quickly, but in that lapse of control, the other Wizard Saint – Jura – attempted to smash Iron Rock pillars into him. Spreading his arms out, Serena managed to halt the momentum of both pillars, but now his arms were heavily embedded in the rock, and were profusely bleeding from the strength he needed to exert. He snarled as Warrod yet again made a tree system appear beneath him and wind around his body, twisting it enough to nearly snap his neck. ‘This is not happening…!’

            Though the four new Gods of Ishgar were bedraggled in their appearance, and looked to be on their last legs, but they were still somehow managing to reverse the tide of battle on him. It infuriated the Dragon Slayer that he had to go all-out against his contemporaries – part of the reason he left Ishgar was because they lacked this defiant fire in their eyes, back when he was their ally. They were old, stuffy, and never actually took pride in their power, never ‘doing’ anything with it. They just roamed the continent in their ‘retirement’… It sickened Serena to be associated with such spineless worms. Alvarez’s attempted invasion all those years ago was the most action he’d seen in years; the threat of the Balam Alliance never interested him, as they couldn’t hold a candle to the kind of power that Alvarez possessed. And he was proven right when a single guild did the brunt work disassembling that makeshift patchwork of Dark Guilds.

            Alvarez had power, and they flaunted it. Serena could support the continent of Alakitasia because they had pride as a people. Had the geezers before him shown even a fraction of the potential he was seeing now, he might’ve reconsidered his choice to betray Ishgar. But now that they’d pushed him to this extreme, he wasn’t going to forgive them or show mercy.

            Seeing Serena getting his ass handed to him, Jacob stretched out his gloves over his wrists as he cracked his knuckles. However, before he could step into the fray, August blocked his path with his arm.

            “Wait. It’s not over yet.” He rolled his eyes as Jacob let out a grunt.

            Channeling his Purgatory Dragon Slayer Magic around his body, Serena burned through the tree and snapped it like a twig. He then used Gale Dragon Slayer Magic to blow back his enemies before touching back on the ground and using Cavern Dragon Slayer Magic to overwhelm them again. Once the four mages were knocked down again by boulders, Serena coated one fist in Purgatory Dragon Slayer Magic, and the other fist in Fulmination Dragon Slayer Magic… A combination they hadn’t seen yet.

            “I hear an impudent brat in Fairy Tail was combining Dragon Slayer Magics…” God Serena smirked maliciously, the pupils in his eyes now black. “I figure, why not show you that I can do it infinitely better?!”

            As he brought his potent fists together, a vortex of flames and lightning overtook the four strongest mages of Ishgar. Serena cackled uproariously when Warrod and Jura made an effort to defend all four of them, but his attack burned through Warrod’s walls of tree bark. Jura’s Rock Mountain looked like it might hold up, but then Serena’s combination attack violently exploded, shattering Jura’s powerful defense and severely incinerating and electrocuting them all. It got to the point that Warrod, Wolfheim, and Hyberion’s hearts gave out from the severity of the electric shock. Jura was on death’s door as he lay gasping for breath, lying defeated on the ground after the fatal assault.

            ‘I… Impossible…! Wiping out the Gods of Ishgar in one strike?!’  Every cell in his body ached, and it felt as if his skin would melt right off.

            Serena tsk’ed as he noticed that Jura was still living, after the blast. It wouldn’t be much effort to finish him off, but he’d poured so much power into that last attack that his body was left shaking somewhat.

            “Still holding on, huh…? Here, let me put you out of your misery… faker…” Serena scoffed at the notion this man had become one of the ‘Gods’, in his absence. He charged his fist with Purgatory Dragon Slayer Magic one more time. “God bye-bye~”

            Just as he was about to unleash one more devastating attack, Serena, Jura, Jacob, and August all tensed up as immense Magic power abruptly flooded the area. All eyes turned to see a distant figure approaching, an unrecognizable one as he appeared to be a human.

            “I smell a dragon…” The figure drolled with a bored expression. It took a scarce few moments for everyone to register who this was.

            “A… Acnologia…!” Jura wheezed out, his face petrified.

            Jacob took a weary step back, and August’s face settled into a stony expression. Serena’s face went from one of surprise to a twisted sort of pleasure as his pupils darkened once more.

            “Heeeh… The King of Dragons is here!” He arrogantly spread out his arms before pointing at Acnologia. “I’ve been waiting for you! I’ve come all this way to slay…!”

            But before Serena could finish, Acnologia had passed by him with such blind, unbelievable speed that no one had seen him move. But the evidence of his one fatal strike was evident, as a good chunk of Serena’s torso was now missing, and the artifact on his back was irreparably smashed.

            “Wh… Wha…t…?” Serena violently coughed up blood before collapsing and expiring.

            Seeing his ally get cut down in the blink of an eye, Jacob prepared to fight back. However, August once again stopped him.

            “Don’t. You would die instantly, if you raised your hand against him.” The King of Magic warned his comrade. “Not even I could hope to defeat him… Only His Majesty, with the power of Fairy Heart, could hope to slay this one. We must hurry to Fairy Tail…”

            Jura was at a loss for words. He should be happy that his comrades’ murderer was annihilated… But this did not bode well. If Acnologia was going to take part in this war now, there was no hope for any of them.

            “There are now 6 dragons left…” Acnologia spoke coldly, without regarding the fallen Jura or the other Spriggan Shields. He turned on his heel and stalked away without another word to them. As a breeze carried some dust to obscure his retreating form, he was gone the moment the dust blew past.

            August slammed the end of his staff on the ground.

            “We must not delay any further… Jacob, go on ahead.” August declared as he began to walk in the direction of Magnolia. As they were still near the border of Bosco, it would still take time for August to reach the guild…

            “Gotcha…” Jacob got a crick out of his neck as he started walking as well. Though he did pause to take one last look at Jura. “… It’d be a pain if you survived… Sorry, I really did like your ‘do.”

            Jura’s eyes widened as some invisible blade sliced into his neck, making blood gush up like a geyser. In a few short moments, the light faded from his eyes… He couldn’t even lament how he had failed Lamia Scale and Fairy Tail… All four of Ishgar’s mightiest snuffed out, just like that.

            ~*~

            Back in Hargeon, Dimaria wept bitter tears as she was restrained to a chair. She had heard Ishgar had managed to take back the port, and that incited her. But even so, all she could dwell on… was her own cruel words she had spoken, earlier.

            “Randi became… a prisoner of war… Oh, how splendidly miserable she must be at this moment…”

            Now she had a taste of what being a prisoner of war felt like…

            Dimaria gritted her teeth as the tears kept coming, leaving hot streaks on her face.

            “Randi…!”

            ~*~

            High on Mount Zonia, an exotic-looking scarlet-haired beauty looked down on the forces that were beating back the Alvarez troops. Though the members of Fairy Tail, Blue Pegasus, and Sabertooth were outnumbered, they definitely possessed higher quality Magic. She had sent her personal guard, Heine Lunasea and Juliet Sun, to do battle in her stead. However, even they were taken down by the mages from Fairy Tail…

            “It’s almost time we get started in earnest…” The woman chuckled cruelly. “The third and fourth guests will be arriving shortly~…”

            With the deaths of Larcade and Bloodman, Irene Belserion knew that she would have to pick up the slack for them, but she also knew what their deaths signified. “Emperor Spriggan” was dead. She didn’t even need to use her “eye” to confirm this fact.

            Still, it was Zeref’s will that they slaughter Ishgar and take Fairy Heart to kill Acnologia… And that was precisely what she planned to do. The other members of the 12 certainly weren’t going to stop the assault, especially not their Chief of Staff.

            “Perhaps ‘the Scarlet Despair’ is an apt name, after all…”

~*~

Note: Four Shields down, eight still in the game~. ... Three of which are captured, and one is licking his wounds. Plus, Acnologia on the hunt for dragons, though I imagine that's within expectations. I think I nailed Jellal and Serena the way I wanted to nail them... Even if Serena still got taken out. I like to think that at least in this AU, he was weakened in his fight with the Gods of Ishgar, which is why Acno took him down with ease. I would've liked a more prolonged fight, I suppose, but I think I conveyed the feelings I wanted to put out there. And Jellal? Much as I don't like his canonical representation, I didn't wanna half-ass his character, so Natsu's words encouraged him to cling to a new purpose in life, rather than sitting around and wondering if he'd ever be forgiven. ... Oh. And there absolutely won't be a narrative revolving around Erza for him. We're gonna get him off his ass and be an actual character. >.>

[calzona-ga]

When Grey's Anatomy goes there, it really goes there. Thursday's episode took a break from the soapy dramatics and instead focused on telling an intimate story about what it really means to deal with cancer.

In "The Winner Takes It All," Koracick (Greg Germann) and Amelia (Caterina Scorsone) faced a daunting surgery to remove a tumor lodged on Catherine's (Debbie Allen) spine in the hopes of saving both her life and her surgeon's hands. They were successful in preserving her life and career but were unable to fully cure her. With 95 percent of the tumor removed, Catherine will now live with the disease for the rest of her life. It was a moving story with a hopeful ending as Catherine looked forward to all of the things she'll still be able to do, including spending time with her family.

Elsewhere, the harrowing hour offered a different perspective through Thatcher Grey (Jeff Perry), who chose to stop treatments and die on his own terms. In an emotional final visit, Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) and her father hashed out their issues and found closure before he ultimately passed away.

The standalone episode was deeply personal for Grey's writer Elisabeth Finch. She based Catherine's story arc on her own experiences with cancer. In an interview with TV Guide, she opened up about what it meant to tell that very raw story, what Catherine's future might look like and the things she'd like to see changed with regard to how we handle the disease.

This was a deeply personal story for you, so what was it like putting yourself out there like that? Elisabeth Finch: This is my fifth season working on Grey's. Everyone, including the writers and the actors, has seen the various stages of me being sick, so it wasn't about me exposing myself to the people around me. What was challenging to me was figuring out how I could communicate the things that mattered most to me about my cancer experience, which is atypical, out into the world. And figure out how to give Catherine a character arc that was engaging and unique.

Which was the most difficult scene for you to write? Finch: Honestly, I go somewhere in my head where I'm not thinking about it. But when we started filming, it started to filter into my brain how much of my story I put down on paper, how much of my story was being told through Catherine. Watching Catherine wake up and everyone else in the room is heartbroken and she finds out that they got 95 percent of the tumor and her hands still function and she can still be a surgeon, she starts to list all the things that she's still going to get to do with her life because they saved her life. They didn't cure her but they saved her. I started to hear those words over and over and over again. And that was when I think it finally hit me what story I had told. And also, just starting to see myself being reflected back at me. It's something I had never seen before. Never on television or in a movie where someone else's cancer looks like mine, or their disability looks like mine. That's something I think everybody should have the opportunity to see, to see a version of themselves reflected back.

In the end, Catherine will have to live with cancer but she looks forward to all of the things she's going to accomplish instead of dwelling on the what-ifs. What went into the decision to give that hopeful ending? Finch: It's the most honest ending, with regards to my own story. I'm a person who lives with cancer. I'm not dying of it. I am not cured of it. I have it and it's a part of my life and it's not my entire life. That was what I was interested in telling in the first place. That's what [Grey'sshowrunner] Krista Vernoff asked me to consider relating. We've seen patients that live in the cured space or that live in the dead space. We don't see cancer patients who live in a space where they have it and they have their full lives too. So it wasn't just about we'd like to stick a hopeful ending on the end of this episode. It was more about telling a version of cancer that doesn't get told anywhere.

This episode could have been very dark but it wasn't. There were moments of laughter, like when Jackson danced with Catherine. How important was it for you to include humor during this hour? Finch: It's so true to mix in those heartbreaking moments with those moments of crazy laughter and crazy joy because that was my experience and continues to be my experience. There are days where things are not good and I feel miserable and I'm doing miserably. And then there are days where thing are absurd and I'm absurd. And there are days where it's half and half and then any moment, I think those moments of grief and joy come in intermittently and that's true to life. I had in my head for a long time that I wanted to see Catherine singing a song to herself while she was going through the scanner because that's how I measure time in my head when I'm going through MRI machines. I just sing the same songs over and over again and I know an MRI machine is three versions of this song. And so, having those little moments that are odd but true felt really tightly put together. And how could you ever resist having Debbie Allen dance it out on the OR floor? Like who wouldn't want that dream?!

Oh, that was fantastic! Finch: It was my all-time favorite thing I've gotten to do on Grey's.

This episode also touched on the language we use with regard to cancer, those militant terms like "battle" and "fight." How did that language play into the way you dealt with cancer and what do you hope to change about it? Finch: I really hope the thing people take away from this episode is that militarized language around cancer is often hurtful and destructive to the people dealing with it firsthand. I am not the mayor of Cancer Town so I cannot speak for everyone. If someone wants to adopt those words and that's what makes them feel better, that's up to them. But all the conversations that I've had with people that I know that are living with cancer or have cancer, they don't connect to it. And it assigns value to life and death.

I don't understand what winning and losing really means when you're talking about cancer. Because I have seen people who have read every medical text they possibly can, gone to every doctor they possibly can and have lived. I've see people do the same thing and die. I've seen people do nothing and be fine. I think it puts hurtful expectations on patients to somehow gear up or appear stronger than they are. And nothing drives me crazier than to read an obituary of someone who's passed away from cancer and say that they lost their fight. I don't know what that means because there ain't much in their control. They took their medicine or they didn't take their medicine and they died. And I take my medicine and I'm alive. It has nothing to do with my winning spirit or their losing spirit. It has nothing to do with what's good or bad or if I fight harder than those other people. It's luck. It's genetics. It's my doctor. It's my privilege. It's not in my control and so assigning those words as if it is in your control, I think, is harmful to people who are in that position.

Meredith touched on that in her voiceover. Did you at some point consider her to be a conduit for your own voice? Finch: Yeah, I think her voiceover is my thesis statement for the episode. You see it in Thatcher who talks about how he got treatment and it didn't work and he died. You see Catherine who took her medicine, got her surgery and she lived. Neither of them is a winner or a loser, and Meredith gets to give words to that. Hopefully, that will register with people and they'll get to absorb a different point of view because of it.

How will we see Catherine deal with living with this disease and how will that affect the others around her? Finch: What I'm interested in is watching someone living with cancer being normalized. Because I walk around in the world and other people that I know living with cancer walk around in the world and have good jobs and big families and a lot of love and a lot of things to do. And every once in a while, they have to go in and take care of themselves by going to a scan or seeing a doctor. Sometimes they have a bad couple of months and then a good couple of months and it becomes normal. It's not always in crisis mode. I don't live in crisis mode. I live from scan to scan. I appreciate all the time I have in between those scans. But my reality is, honestly, not that much different from anyone else because no day is promised. There's no guarantee that anyone is going to live 'til tomorrow. So I'm interested in watching Catherine live her life and go back to surgery and be with her family and talk about all the other things that are going on in her life and have all the other emotions about what's going on in her life that don't revolve around cancer. Because that's the reality for most people.

[dramaqueeenamby]

Space Between (12)

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MASTERLIST

Space Between (12)

“Why now? After all this time, why now does he suddenly allow himself to be made available for capture?”

“It has been many years. The aging process is difficult for colonizers. Perhaps he has become careless in his treacheries.”

“Does it matter why he is now visible to us?”

“Of course it matters; this could be a setup!”

“Even if it is, our forces are strong enough to handle any type of attack.”

“Yes, but why even risk it?”

“Justice must prevail.”

“Justice or revenge? There is a difference, Hodari.”

Y/N had a headache from all of the various voices and opinions that filled the throne room. She loved and respected the idea behind a democratic structure where all members had a chance to voice his/her opinion but she could not understand why it had to be done so loudly.

She also wondered if all of the sessions were as chaotic but figured that this particular case was a special anomaly.

Meanwhile, Bunme sat unbothered right on the throne next to T’Challa, her headphones covering her ears as she watched some American television program on a tablet. How her daughter was able to convince him to let her not only sit in on a session but on his throne, was beyond her. She just knew that she’d been summoned to the throne room by T’Challa, immediately beckoned to come to stand by his side, and forced to endure the chaotic debates.

“A man responsible for the lives of so many Wakandans deserves to be punished.” M’Baku sighed, rubbing his temples. “Is this not a shared belief?”

“Yes, but what type of punishment are you referring to?” The elder of the Mining Tribe questioned.

“Death.”

“A trial.”

Nakia and Erik spoke at the same time, both with starkly different answers. Nala caught the look that they shared at the revelation of their contrasting opinions.

“Glad we have that settled,” M’Baku muttered in irritation.

“Enough,” T’Challa finally spoke up, Nala taking note of how everyone immediately silenced their discussions. “That will be enough.”

He sat up in his throne, mindful of the child next to him and looked around the room. “For over twenty years, Kaue has escaped our pursuits.”

“Not capturing him during my time as king is my greatest regret,” N’Jobu spoke up from his seat next to Erik.

T’Challa nodded and confirmed. “I wish to bring Klaue back here to stand trial.”

“Wakanda does not need a warrior right now. It needs a king.” The elder for the Merchant Tribe complained.

“Wakanda needs justice.” W’Kabi countered boldly. Nala recognized him as Okoye’s husband and T’Challa’s friend whom she’d met at the public gathering the week prior. “My parents were killed when he attacked, not a day goes by when I do not think about what Klaue took from us, from me."

Nala’s heart dropped as she detected the sadness in his voice. So much loss. So much pain. And all because of her parents and their greed.

She felt nauseous.

“"It's too great an opportunity to pass." Okoyo attempted to plead, a hint of desperation in her voice.

"Take me with you,” W’Kabi suggested to T’Challa. “We will take him down together. Side by side."

"I need you here,” T’Challa reminded. “Protecting the border."

“What about me?” Y/N spoke up before realizing what she was saying, all eyes immediately falling on her. “I could go. I could help.”

“That is not necessary,” the leader of the Mining tribe interjected. “General Okoye will most likely assist our king.”

“Yes, but she would be useful.” N’Jobu offered his support. “I’ve seen firsthand what Princess Y/N is capable of out in the field.”

“This is a Wakandan matter.” Another elder chimed. “It has nothing to do with the princess or her country.” Nala’s stomach knotted. If only they knew… “Nor does this meeting.”

Y/N literally felt the abrupt shift in T’Challa mood at the snub directed toward both she and Bunme. He was about to say something when she decided to intervene.

“With all due respect, councilman, Klaue is wanted internationally. His crimes are not just limited to Wakanda but other nations as well, so I would disagree with your statement that this is a Wakandan matter.”

“And should it even matter who helps to capture him?” Nakia added on. “As long as we can finally reign him in.”

“The people of Wakanda have all been so kind and gracious to my daughter and me during this difficult time in Niganda.” Nala confessed, ignoring the few people who were not as genial with their reception to her, Bunme, and Dumi. “It would be an honor and a privilege to help bring solace to everyone affected by this man.” She looked down at T’Challa. “Including your king.”

“I for one am in agreement with Princess Y/N being a part of the mission,” M’Baku voiced his support.

“As am I,” Nakia went to second his motion, followed by N’Jobu, W'Kabi and the elders for both the River and Border tribe.

Even Ayo, who wasn’t even a part of the council, voiced her support from her position by the door.

Surprisingly, Erik remained quiet.

Okoye was the last to speak. “I will gladly battle alongside the princess.” The general looked over at Nala and winked. “Anyday.”

She smiled and thanked the group before T’Challa, of course, gave his approval and adjourned the meeting.

However, both Nala and T’Challa were unaware of the fact that Bunme had paused her programming toward the end and heard what they planned on doing.

And she wasn’t happy.

She wasn’t happy at all.

♔ ♔ ♔ ♔ ♔

It wasn’t until later that evening when Y/N was sitting on T’Challa’s bed, her daughter in her lap, putting Bun Bun’s load of curls into a pineapple, that Bunme brought up what she heard.

“Mommy,” she sniffled, causing Y/N to immediately stop her movements to twist her body to look at her baby girl’s face.

Her chest tightened when she saw that the little girl was crying. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want you and kitty to go.” Bunme’s voice broke as she clung her doll to her chest. Nala frowned as she tried to think about what Bunme was talking about. “I don’t want you to do the battle.”

Her stomach dropped. “Oh, sweetie….” She trailed off and lifted Bunme as she closed her legs and sat the child back down. She didn’t know how Bunme heard through the supposed soundproof Wakandan made headphones but then realized that she must have been listening in on the latter portion of the conversation.

“T’Challa,” she called for him, hoping that he was done with his shower. Sure enough, he walked out almost immediately, dressed in black pajama pants and a gray undershirt.

He was by their side as soon as his eyes landed on a crying Bunme.

“Hey, hey.” His voice was soft as he gently rubbed her back. “What’s wrong, sam isipho?”

“Dumi said one time that…” she hiccuped, her cheek pressed against her mother’s chest. “-when...people go to...go to battle, they die.” She started to cry harder, rubbing at her eyes. “And I don’t want you to die.”

Nala shut her eyes at her daughter’s words. If only Bunme had waited just a few more minutes, T’Challa and herself were going to talk to the child. Together. Explain that they would only be gone for two to three days and that they wouldn’t be in any danger. Instead, they had to deal with their daughter who was terrified that they weren’t going to return.

“Bunme….” T’Challa started out, not even worrying about how she found out. He highly doubted Nala said anything without him being present. Nevertheless, she was crying, and she was hurting. Both things he never wanted again to think about when referring to Bunme. “Sweetheart, please don’t cry. I promise you. I won’t let anything happen to your mama. Ever.”

“And aren’t you the one always saying that mommy is strong?” Nala softly reminded, kissing the top of Bun Bun’s head. “I’ll be okay, sweetie. I would never go somewhere if I thought that I couldn’t come back to you.”

“What about Kitty?” She hiccuped while looking over at T’Challa. “Who’s gonna watch him? He’s gotta be okay.” A beat. “I want a mommy and a daddy.”

Both T’Challa and Nala froze.

Did she really just say what they thought she said?

T’Challa was the first to return to reality as he scooted closer to the two. “Come here, Bunme.” She sniffled but obliged, crawling over to him as he pulled her onto his lap. “Baba.” The little princess stared up in confusion and continued to sniffle. “Say it,” he closed his eyes. “Please.”

A few seconds of hesitation. “I already do.”

T’Challa froze. “What?”

“Well you gave me the necklace that your daddy gave you and you said it was in your family for a really long time.” Bunme started to twiddle her thumbs. “And you’re really nice to me and buy me stuff, and Akinyi and Akua said that their Baba does stuff like that for them too.” She was referring to her twin friends from school. “So I just say it in my head.” Nala listened with a full heart as her daughter relayed her confession.

T’Challa released a shaky breath and pulled her into him, tucking her head under his chin. “Well, now you can say it out loud, intombazana yakho.”

Her forehead puckered as she stared up at him with all of the innocence in the world. “What does that mean?”

“It...it means ‘my daughter,’ Bunme.” A beat. “It means my daughter.”

♔ ♔ ♔ ♔ ♔

“Are you sure that this is a good idea?” Erik questioned as he and N’Jobu walked on either side of Nala.

“Klaue needs-”

“Not that,” he interrupts. “I mean leaving me in charge of Bunme.”

“Yes, of course.” She smiled softly. “She likes you.”

“She calls me ‘bad kitty’ and ‘scar’...who the fuck is Scar anyway? You letting lil’ mama watch Al Pacino?”

“Ignore him.” N’Jobu rolled his eyes. “Bunme will be in great hands.”

“I know she will. I wouldn’t be leaving her if I didn’t.” Y/N confirmed with a small nod. “Plus, she will spend tomorrow afternoon at Jabariland with Hawla, and I’ve also asked Nakia if she would stay here as well.”

Erik stopped walking. “Nakia?”

“Yes, is that a problem?” Y/N propped a brow. Nakia offered no objection when she asked so she assumed it would be okay with both parties.

“Son?” N’Jobi pushed.

“It’s nothing...she just didn’t tell me she was going to be staying here...that’s all.” Erik quickly shrugged off the surprise. “What about Ramonda?”

Nala felt her anger start to stir just from the mentioning of T’Challa’s mother. “I’ve warned her already to stay away from Bun, and I told Nakia to make sure that there is no interaction between the two.”

“Last I spoke to her, she was not feeling well. It is why she was not in attendance for yesterday’s council meeting.”

Nala had to stop herself from making a smart retort on N’Jobu’s comment. The only reason Ramonda didn’t go to the meeting was because she probably caught wind that Bunme and she were going to be there.

“So we have not had a chance to talk about your….reluctance?” N’Jobu chimed as Nala sent a questioning glance to Erik who simply shrugged.

“I told him that you decided to just let the chips fall where they may, but he’s old and stubborn.”

N’Jobu opened his mouth but faltered. “Wait, old?”

Nala shook her head as they finally reached the hanger bay, her heart swelling with joy as she watched Bunme and T’Challa interact. She was running around the jet, pointing to various spots, probably asking him what they were for while Okoye and Ayo observed the two.

The father and son followed her gaze. “He loves her, you know.” She turned to N’Jobu. “They have developed a bond.”

Her mouth formed into a small frown. She considered telling them about the breakthrough between the official/unofficial family but decided against it. “I know….and that is why I have decided to tell him.” The duo was shocked. “Once we return, I will sit down with him and….finally tell him the truth.”

It wasn’t an easy decision to come to. She was terrified of how everything would play out, of how her parents would react to her deception, how T’Challa would react, hell, even how Bunme would feel knowing that her “new” Baba was actually the real deal.

But last night’s incident cemented her decision. T’Challa needed to know. He deserved to know, and she would hide it from him no more.

“I’m glad you told us now.” Erik breathed heavily. “That gives me time to reach out to this girl I know.” Nala and N’Jobu both scowled with confusion. “She’s a therapist. Pretty good too, but apparently she’s been going through some weird familial shit. Something about a long lost brother, husband lying, and she pregnant…..on second thought, maybe we should handle this ourselves.”

“No, I will handle it. I’m the one who has been lying to him.”

“You can tell him, sure, but we’re gonna be there when you do.” She went to protest but Erik continued. “Not in the same room but the vicinity….you’ve never seen T when he’s mad.”

She thought back to how she walked in on him practically about to murder Dumi. Speaking of, she made a mental note to send him a message while they were in the air.

She would also talk to him upon their return.

“I think what he is trying to say is that you have our support,” N’Jobu clarified, taking his arm and lightly placing it on her shoulder. “And our love.”

Nala grinned and nodded. “Thank you. For everything.”

He returned her smile.

“I don’t know, Nalz.” Erik looked over at the jet where T’Challa and Okoye were discussing last minute details of the mission while waiting for Nala to join them, Bunme holding onto T’Challa’s leg as she watched the two adult talk. “I just got a really bad feeling about this.”

She exhaled. “Me telling him?”

“Naw, this mission.” He elaborated. “I know the three of you can handle yourselves, but I just...I don’t know. I can’t shake this feeling that something isn’t right.”

“Do not worry yourself,” she reached out to touch his arm. “Everything will be fine.”

“I promise.”

♔ ♔ ♔ ♔ ♔

“Bast willing, this will go quickly, and I can get this ridiculous thing off my head.”

Nala smiled over at Okoye. “It looks nice on you. Just whip it back and forth.”

She peered up at T’Challa to see he was doing his best to maintain a straight face.

“What?” Okoye sneered in disgust. “It’s a disgrace.”

Nala wanted to compliment the General on how nice she looked, the red dress revealing a body that one could never guess existed under her uniform but decided to hold out once she spotted their “in.”

Nala reached her arm to stop them from walking. “Let me.”

T’Challa looked down at her, the king trying desperately hard to ignore how her black gown hung to every curve and accentuated her chest. “Why?”

She smirked. “Watch.”

As she walked ahead, he noticed that she hadn’t covered the scars on her back and made a note to ask her about it later.

“Hello Sophia,” she spoke in Korean as she sauntered over to the market worked. “Good to see you.”

Okoye and T’Challa immediately exchanged looks. Did she know this woman?

The Asian worker eyed her skeptically, speaking harshly in her native language.

“Would you really turn away a princess? The daughter of M’Butu?” Nala chuckled softly and leaned over. “Or would you rather me go home and inform him that you are the reason I came back empty-handed.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Has your father made good on his debts?”

Y/N managed her poker face despite her shock, but at the same time, she wasn’t surprised. Her father owed so many, yet continued to spend lavishly.

“Why do you think I’m here?” She motioned to T’Challa and Okoye. “I have potential….buyers. Very deep pockets. They’re good.”

The woman’s eyes widened before she nodded and a man lifted the covering to reveal the entrance.

“Thank you,” Nala grinned smugly as she led the way, the three of them walking through the detectors before entering the underground club.

“Spread out,” T’Challa instructed as the three of them overlooked and studied the layout from the balcony. “The buyer is likely already here.”

Okoye opted to stay on the second floor but Nala and T’Challa went to the first level, him extending his arm for her to hold as they descended.

“The woman outside,” he started to speak, glancing over at her. “How did you know her?”

She sighed, allowing a certain sadness to fill her. “When your father is as crooked as mine….you have connections everywhere.” She looked over at him. “I saw you the picture of her that you and Okoye pulled up while we were on the jet…..she is a…..business partner for Niganda.”

“And she’s seen you before?” He pressed.

“Yes, she often travels to the palace, and we’ve crossed paths once or twice.”

He was satisfied with her answer. “Well, princess, will there be any trouble tonight?”

She caught his double meaning. “Depends.” They reached the bottom of the steps and she pulled her arm from his. “On how quickly we finish the mission.”

T’Challa gave her that look, the look that let her know she was definitely going to be getting some come hell or high water.

Her thighs clenched in anticipation.

“Can we please focus on the mission?” Okoye’s voice sounded in her ears as she remembered that they were all on one line. “Thank you.”

Nala sat at a bar and ordered a whiskey, casually perusing the club. “Eyes up.” She brought the glass to her mouth. “Americans.” A beat. “I count three.”

“Five.” Okoye corrected. “How could you miss Grease Lightning there behind you?”

Nala smiled.

“Six,” T’Challa added. “Just spotted an old friend who works for the CIA.” Okoye and Nala slyly tried to search for the man T’Challa was referring to. “It just got a little more complicated.”

“Do you think it a coincidence that the CIA just so happens to end up in the same spot and at the same time with a notorious thief and assassin?” Nala chuckled, holding the glass up to her mouth as she continued to survey the room.

“Not at all,” T’Challa murmured, walking over to the white man. She listened as he calmly explained that Klaue was leaving them.

Not matter what.

She was still scanning the casino when she saw him waltz in, surrounded by a plethora of men, bodyguards. “Klaue.”

“General?”

“In position to secure our exit,” Okoye confirmed as Nala started to walk away from the bar, counting just how many men there were and try to spot who had the item that was the reason for this public appearance.

“And the vibranium?”

She paused before replying to T’Challa. “I don’t see it yet.” Nala then noticed one man shift his arm, revealing the gun holstered on his hip. “I thought there were no weapons allowed in here.”

Okoye quietly sighed. “There’s not supposed to be.”

“Well somebody did not get the memo.” Again, she caught a glimpse of another guard with a gun. “Definitely armed.”

“Six more,” Okoye grew irritated as more men started to enter the club from the entrance. “It is a setup.”

Nala growled. “We need to move on Klaue.” Did Klaue know that they were coming? She doubted it, but even the thought that he was prepared to bring so much danger to innocent people made her stomach turn.

“Stand down,” T’Challa instructed. “We can’t afford a shootout.”

The anxiety and anticipation were eating at Y/N, and she knew that T’Challa was probably feeling the same way. This was the closest he’d ever come at capturing the man who was responsible for killing his father.

She owed it to him, to Wakanda, to do all she could to ensure that the mission wasn’t a bust.

She took one last look at Klaue as he talked with the CIA agent. “It’s now or never.”

Okoye hissed. “Stand down.” Except, she made the mistake of speaking in Xhosa. A voice was heard in the distance. A voice that didn’t belong to the General of the Dora Milaje. “I’ve been made.” Was the last thing to enter her ear before Okoye’s grunts dominated the shared line.

Screams entered the club as a body was thrown from off the balcony.

It was on.

T’Challa kicked a pool table and grabbed the agent to protect the man from the rapid hail of gunfire. Okoye handled the guards from the top level, and Nala immediately went into fighting mode when someone tried to grab her from behind. She easily twisted around and performed a side kick that sent the man flying but also attracted a couple more paid fighters in her direction.

Across the club, in different areas, T’Challa, Okoye, and Y/N worked to subjugate each fighter while also trying to keep eyes on Klaue.

Nala looked up just as she finished stabbing the heel of her stiletto through a man’s eye to see Klaue was nearing the exit. She narrowed her eyes and darted for the steps, kicking and punching her way up, attracting the attention of T’Challa.

“Klaue!” She shouted as the perverse man looked at her with a sickening smile.

“Princess,” he winked, as though he knew something that she didn’t. She was instantly unsettled and caught off guard, allowing Klaue a chance to pull out his gun, pointing it at her. Yet, he didn’t shoot.

He just smiled.

“Umbulali!” T’Challa yelled in Xhosa, murderer, as he was suddenly behind Nala before he switched their positions so that she was behind him.

Klau raised his arms, dropping his gun in the process. “You know,” Nala watched as the man’s arm started to transform into something else. Something that resembled a gun. It started to lower, aimed directly at her and the king. “You look just like your old man.”

T’Challa growled but grabbed a large box of some sort and pitched it toward Klaue before grabbing Nala and pulling her into him, his back toward Klaue.

Her stomach started to twist as the two suddenly smashed into the railing and off the balcony. T’Challa managed to twist them mid-air so that she landed on him once they crashed into a pool table on the lower level.

Pain shot through her body as she rolled off of him, the king immediately going to check on her.

“Are you alright?” She was holding onto her bleeding arm, a shattered piece from the table being the culprit. Yet, his eyes were focused on her abdomen.

“No,” she breathed. “I’m pissed off.”

“He’s getting away,” Okoye shouted, running over to make sure that the king was unharmed

“No, he’s not.” The mutant vowed, her eyes turning completely white, her head tilting to the side.

T’Challa and Okoye looked up and around as a loud clap of thunder roared from outside.

“Come on,” Nala instructed, forcing herself to power through her pain as she headed for the steps. Okoye stayed behind while T’Challa moved in front as he was the fastest.

Upon entering outside, the three were met with dense fog, heavy winds, and clapping thunder/lightning.

Objects were flying all around as T’Challa had to use his enhanced senses to see through the chaos. Nala lifted her hands and closed them into a fist, a strike of lightning hitting a chain of what appeared to be SUV’s, causing the hoods to catch on fire.

T’Challa’s anger increased as he spotted Klau jumping out a car and attempting to run but stopping as he couldn't see through the thick fog.

“Klaue!” T’Challa roared, activating his suit as he started to stalk toward the man, his claws retracted. “Did you think we would forget?”

As Nala caused the fog to start to dissipate, Klaue took the opportunity to lift his weaponized arm and shooting it in T’Challa’s direction. Of course, his suit easily absorbed the blow and an incensed T’Challa reached and ripped the arm off entirely, grabbing him and slamming him against the car door.

Klaue giggled in a maniacal manner and stumbled to his feet. “You savages-” He was unable to finish his statement as T’Challa once again yanked him up, smashing his head into the vehicle, rendering the man unconscious.

As soon as she watched the body slump to the floor, Nala felt a burst of relief overcome her entire being.

They got him.

They finally got him.

♔ ♔ ♔ ♔ ♔

Nala’s eyes fluttered open as she exhaled with her mouth closed, her senses taking in the warm body underneath hers and the feel of coarse fingertips rubbing up and down her bandaged arm.

The princess lifted her head to see her lover staring up at the ceiling. She smiled. “How long have I been out?”

He sighed. “Long enough for you to roll on top of me.”

She rolled her eyes. “You should be used to it by now.” Nala snuggled into him, his sound and sturdy heartbeat playing into her ear. It was no secret that Nala slept wild, a 100% guarantee that she would always end up practically on top of the king when morning came.

“I suppose so,” he chuckled, glancing down at her. “Thank you, Nala.”

She frowned and looked up at him. “For what?”

He paused. “Klaue…”

Her frown deepened as she detected the emotion in his voice. She knew that capturing the man who killed his father meant everything to him, but she’d yet (until now) hear just how grateful he was that the man was currently on his way with Okoye to Wakanda to answer for his vile crimes.

“You never have to thank me, T’Challa.” She pecked his bare chest. “I’d do anything for you.” That includes telling you the truth about Bunme. Finally….no matter how hard it’s going to be.

“Except allowing me to kill the boy?” He poked, half teasingly/half seriously, causing Nala to sigh into him.

“I know that Dumi has proved himself to be less than reliable, but….” She trailed off as she struggled to gather words. “You have to understand that he’s been with me ever since I was pregnant with Bunme. He’s been a good friend, a wonderful protector, and most importantly, the only positive male figure that she had.” A beat. “Up until you.”

“Exactly,” he stressed. “Bunme has no need for the boy: she has me now.”

“I know she does, and I love that, just as I love you for accepting her, but….you know that loyalty means everything to me, and I cannot just ignore almost 6 years of that.” A beat. “At least, give me a chance to talk to him. One last time.”

He shut his eyes and pushed his head back into the pillow. “I am not going to win this argument with you, am I?”

“Probably not,” she chewed on her bottom lip. “But-”

“What of testing?” He cut her off and she could instantly hear the irritation in his voice from her failure to acquiesce.

“What about testing?”

“If Bunme is developing another mutation, then don’t you think we should find out about it sooner than later?”

Nala rolled on her back and cut her eyes. “I told you before. My answer is no. Let it-”

“Manifest naturally?” He again interrupted, sitting up and looking down at her. “What if it is something that she cannot control? Shuri is currently working on a device that helps to inhibit-”

She snapped her head to look at him. “You wish to strip her of her powers?”

He sighed. “Of course not. I wish to help her-”

“She doesn’t need help, T’Challa, She’s fine.” Nala was growing frustrated. She wasn’t as educated in mutations as she would have liked, but she was 99.9% sure that Bunme’s “secondary mutation” was really inherited traits from her father.

T’Challa had passed down the powers of the Black Panther to his daughter.

“Look,” she shut her eyes and also sat up, her heart starting to rapidly beat. Maybe now was the best time to tell him, while they were on the subject of genetics and mutations. “We need to-”

T’Challa’s kimoyo beads started to chime, the king looking down. “It is Okoye.” She turned her eyes onto the sheets. “I must-”

“Go ahead.”

He shook his head before hitting a button. “What is it, Okoye? Now is not-”

“You need to get home now.”

Nala turned her gaze onto the projection emanating from his beads. She’d never heard Okoyo sound so jolted. “Why? What has-”

“It’s Klaue,” The general raised her voice, her eyes widening with alarming urgency. “He’s escaped.”

♔ ♔ ♔ ♔ ♔

T’Challa and Y/N were on the first jet back to Wakanda, almost no words shared between the two. She could sense that he was in no mood to talk, and she knew not what to say to him. Truthfully speaking, they were both dumbfounded. Klaue had managed to escape.

Even worse, he’d killed two guards on his way “out” and stole their weapons.

Vibranium weapons.

How?

No one knew, but a dangerous and internationally wanted man was somewhere out in Wakanda.

Every second that he was unaccounted for marked a chance for an innocent life or lives to be lost.

T’Challa was irate as they finally arrived in Wakanda, the king storming into the throne room with Nala close behind.

“How the hell did this happen?” He barked, marching over to the window, hands on his hips. “I asked a question!”

Nala swallowed deeply as Erik came up to her. “What-”

“You need to get out of here,” he spoke with apprehension that she’d never seen before. “Now.”

“What?” She frowned, eyeing him from head to toe. “Why? I just got back, and where is Bun-”

“Damnit, Y/N, I’ll explain later, but right now-”

“My son,” Ramonda greeted with a solemn face as she entered the throne room, going directly to the middle of the floor. “I must speak with you. Immediately.”

“Not now, mama.” He waved her off, continuing to probe Okoye and Ayo who stood at her side for answers. “Later.”

“Fuck,” Erik’s eyes darkened. “I’m too late.”

Nala was officially and completely stumped. What was Erik going on about? Did it have something to do with Ramonda?

“T’Challa, it is imperative that I speak with you.” She stressed, walking over to him as the rest of the council members watched the scene unfold. “There are several things I must bring to your-”

“Mama, I said not-” T’Challa stopped when Ramonda lifted her wrist, a projection from her Kimoyo beads on full display.

Nala froze, her chest tightening and stomach dropping as she took in the visual in front of the group.

“Little Kitty, you have to share.” Bunme lightly scolded her pet panther while another rubbed at her side. “Besides, I love all my kitties!” She giggled throwing her hands up in the air as more panthers, larger ones walked over to her, all of them reacting calmly to the child.

“Is that the Panther Room?” Nala breathed, her eyes glued to the projection.

Erik looked over at her and dropped his head. He said nothing.

“Wh-” T’Challa’s eyes were wide and his breathing uneven as he slowly started to back away. “What is….”

“There is a reason that this child has taken to you and you to her,” Ramonda spoke with a haughty expression, her chin raised to the sky. “It is because she is your kin, your blood, your daughter.”

Loud gasps and low murmurs preceded a flow of questions.

“His daughter? How is this possible?”

“Why were we not made aware of that?”

“That means she is next in line for the throne.”

“King T-”

“Silence!” T’Challa shouted, all conversations immediately ceasing as he laid his eyes on Nala. Her heart stopped at the sight of his broken and devastated countenance. “She...she is my daughter?”

Her mouth dropped as she slowly moved closer to him. “T’Challa, please...I-I-I was going to tell you-”

“You were going to tell me?” He hissed, his body shaking from his mixture of emotions. “When, Y/N?” Silence. “ANSWER ME!”

Her eyes started to water. “Please, I can explain-”

“I asked you, Y/N.” His eyes were also misty as she dropped her head, tears burning in the back of her throat. “I asked you, and you lied. You’ve been lying-”

She shook her head, “It’s not-”

“T, you gotta hear her-” Erik went to step forward, but T’Challa shot him a shocked look before his eyes fell back on Y/N.

“Did he know?” He demanded as she started to cry. “Did he?!”

Her jaw trembled as she again stared at the floor. “Y-y-yyes.”

He closed his eyes and looked away, pulling his lips together. “You were wrong.”

She sobbed, covering her mouth with her hand. Her stomach was torn up, her heart feeling like it was about to explode. “T’Ch-”

“ALL OF YOU WERE WRONG!” His tone, the way he motioned around to everyone in that room, the tear that slipped from his eyes, the pain in his voice.

She truly wanted to die at that moment.

“I never meant to hurt you,” she fell to her knees, holding onto her core. “I never-” She couldn’t even get any logical words out.

“No,” Ramonda interjected with a cold face, returning her wrist to her side as the display disappeared. “You just meant to ruin him, to ruin us.”

“Ramonda, shut the f-” Erik hissed only to be cut off by the Queen Mother.

“She is no innocent woman.” Ramonda hissed, looking over at her son. “Ask her why she was so pressed on going with you to capture Klaue. Ask her of her personal connection with that man.”

“Be quiet, mama-”

“She is a spy, T’Challa.”

At that, Y/N forced herself to lift her head at Ramonda’s accusations. “What?”

“Sent here by her parents to see the fall of Wakanda’s king…..just as her parents did your father.”

Again, audible gasps.

T’Challa was a perfect combination of hurt and enraged. “W-w-what?”

“Ask her!” Ramonda shouted as Nala’s tears increased, prompting T’Challa to look at her, fear written all over his face.

“What is she talking about, Y/N?”

Nala continued to double over, her palms flat on the floor. She wanted to run, but she had no other option. She had to come clean, no time to wonder how Ramonda found out.

She had much bigger problems on her hands.

“My parents,” she spoke through heavy sobs. “They….they sent Klaue here.” She shook her head, holding her stomach with one arm. “They are the reason that your father is dead.”

T’Challa stepped back, regarding her with disbelief. “What are you…..how...I don’t….” He stammered, the king truly at a loss for words. “No….no.”

“She helped him escape!” The leader of the River Tribe shouted out.

“No!” Nala yelled back.

“It is why she wanted to go help capture him!”

“She’s been planning it all along!”

“She has deceived us!”

“Arrest her!”

“No!” Nala stumbled to her feet. “It’s not true!” She looked to T’Challa, ambling over to him. “You have to believe me.” She begged, gasping for breath. She felt like she was going to pass out. “I would nev-”

“How can I believe anything you say?” He hissed, taking her by surprise. She’d never heard him be so cold or seen him look at her with such….contempt. “You are a liar, and you….are just like your parents.” A beat. “You’re no better than them.”

Her heart broke right then and there.

“T’Challa, bro-” Again, Erik was cut off.

“Arrest her.”

“No,” she breathed in shock as two Doras came to seize her, each grabbing a wrist. “No!”

“T’Challa, come on!” Erik shouted, going over to intervene when two other Doras formed an ‘X’ to stop him. “This is insane!”

“Take her to the prison until I can decide her fate,” he continued, completely ignoring his cousin.

“T’Challa, please!” She wailed, almost falling to the floor, forcing the female guards to hold her up. “I’m innocent! I-I-love you!”

He turned his back on her.“Get her out of my sight.”

“T’Challa! Please!” She begged as she was dragged out of the throne room, literally crying and pleading for the man she loved to just look at her, to stare in her eyes to know that she was telling the truth, but he wouldn’t spare her a second guess.

Instead, she watched Erik as he struggled against the guards that were restraining him and Ayo who shared a look with Ramonda, both smirking in satisfaction.

She frowned in confusion. What?

However, she had little time to dwell on that as she was forced down the hallway, met with a familiar face who held a smug grin.

“Dumi?”

What the hell was he doing in the palace?

He said nothing, lifting his finger to his lips as he winked, similar to how Klaue had done the same thing back in Korea.

She watched with confusion as Dumi went to lift his shirt, her breath stopping as he revealed a black and red tattoo of a snake on top of a dragon’s head.

If not for the guards restraining her and continuing to force her down the hall, she would have fainted.

She would have recognized that tattoo anywhere. It was the symbol of the bane of Niganda’s existence, the group that tormented and killed so many innocent people, the terrorist group that haunted the dreams of millions.

The Zenzi.

Dumi was a member of the Zenzi.

A/N: Well.....ya’ll wanted him to find out.

I tried to tell you.

Be careful what you wish for.

Next chapter is even worse tbh...