#i’ve read a lot of arrested development fics

[anonymous-tals]

It can be so fun finding out little details that I thought were headcanons to actually be canon things. I dunno, it’s just fun to look back at a piece of media and be like, “Oh, wait, it’s actually real!”

[eyedoeluhn]

I think a daring synthesis is a better celestial forge fic than Brocktons celestial forge.

To preface this comparison slash review, and all posts after I make on ADS, I’ve only read from chapters 86 (a glib facsimile 2.1) to 145 (killing hope 7.9) of A Daring Synthesis, the section of the fic that covers Greg with the celestial forge. I have not and have no plans of reading the first 85 chapters which are Greg with a gamer power. Those chapters ARE plot relevant as the fic has Greg go back in time from the original timeline during the enchadia fight and are referenced frequently in the fic. I have had a summary of the first section from ads defender #1 and I don’t think that really impacted my experience negatively with the fic. I have read all of the celestial forge. Both of those fics are very different in experience and I’m it going to recommend reading either one fully here, one because I would never want anyone to subject themselves to the forge let alone BCF, and two because defending ADS is how @zizbombs pays for his robux and I’m not going to push him out of the market. this is going to feature heavy spoilers of each, it’s not my plot comparison but I’m going to mention events.

I think to start elsewhere from how unpleasant the experience of reading ADS would be a little disingenuous. Full disclosure, I’ve attempted to read ADS from chapter one several times and completely bounced off of it.

I have a very low gamer tolerance and a lower Greg protagonist tolerance on top of that. Im also not a fan of the slur frequency. Yes it’s an accurate 4channy Greg but I don’t like Greg anyways. Also the authors opinion on this is ass. so this was pretty firmly in the not my thing territory.

I did skip a large portion of the character development and Greg does still say the n word but we’ve graduated to refraining from dropping slurs. As often.

If you don’t like Greg and gamerfic as a catagory, I’d recommend skipping it as well.

Moving past that admittedly large roadblock to judge it on CF merits, it’s….pretty fantastic actually. This is a post glazing ADS via the worlds easiest target ever that I’ve previously lambasted but it’s actually exceeded my expectations.

ADS does not have a filler bloat problem. ADS is just under 400k words including a previous timeline that extends all the way to enchadia starting from before Taylor’s trigger. We’ve started again from before the locker, to the locker, to a ziz attack and now the aftermath of, while BCF is still weeks out from its first endbringer attack and hasn’t finished up its bakuda arc. Greg has frankly done more good for the city than Joe has by several times over. He’s volunteered in hospitals passing out pills that have healing effects, Joe has only selectively healed a handful of people, then the bakuda bomb victims, and Aisha once visited hospitals during the absolute peak of overfilling to provide his significantly better healing tech. Greg has openly shared his whitebox and black boxed tech with Armsmaster (to use in fights as well causing the arrest of hookwolf) and Dragon and a network of other tinkers which has had a positive ripple effect. Joe has dangled white box miniaturized cold fusion in front of Dragon that he purposefully kept the secret of how it worked so it couldn’t be recreated as a bribe then took it back when she refused it. Greg hasn’t spent ages cloistered off to himself, he frequently interacts with an entire cast of characters who have their own motives and aren’t created by him and working for him and are his own age. The fact that’s a bonus is crazy. ADS also addresses Cauldron with a lot more grace than a lot of fic, which I’m not even putting here because we haven’t seen a pov or even a trace of a cauldron agent besides Alexandria holding a meeting in BCF because there’s so much goddamn filler.

A large contributor to this in BCF is Joe getting a new power and then agonizing to himself about all the implications and uses of his power anda description of getting it and all the rolls get mentioned even failed ones frankly and it takes so much goddamn time.

Reading ADS, I nearly missed the first power roll. And they got shorter. And then they got interesting. I was genuinely always looking forwards for the next roll, not because I was excited for the power (though they were still significant) but because they actually affected the plot. Which was frankly an amazing move.

In Brocktons Celestial Forge there is a semi visual component to power rolls. Joe goes into a “thinking stance” which seems tied to contemplating his powers but specifically after rolls, this seems involuntary but he doesn’t really try to stop it in the first place. This stance isn’t well described but it’s noted by every character who witnesses them and is quickly associated with power use and theorized upon. This still remains a rarity though we discuss the theorization in depth because of well, it’s a PR an and reaction piece elevating it to the highest priority of discussion.

When he does gain powers in public it tends to cause social friction—New Wave assumes he is activating a battle thinker power and is threatening them, those attending the Summit believe he is contemplating something that could have dire consequences for them—since it’s not explained what exactly he’s doing, all characters must glaze and fear Jozef, and his erratic behavior fucking the bay up. Beyond that that’s basically all the relevance the roll has. The Celestial Forge is just a collection of powers materialized as “stars” and “nodes” that his Shard wants to collect, unrelated to the plot. They aren’t tied to Worm specifically in any meaningful way and exist on their own, truly out of context. The powers themselves are mulled upon in hypothetical for paragraphs and paragraphs.

On the other hand, ADS approaches the forge in an entirely different context. Firstly the physical consequences of the rolls are more of the vision itself. Greg actively eats shit sometimes, falling flat on his face. There’s no awed moment of everyone waiting quietly with bated breath as Joe contemplates how he can upgrade his ultra sword that he’s literally never used for the 10^50th time. The text itself is also brief, the original one is a small paragraph of like, four lines and then it gets shorter until it becomes plot relevant. However this is not the only consequence of rolling for powers, we’ll pop back to that in a second because I’m bad at formatting and you’re reading a tumblr review about fanfiction.

The celestial forge itself is kind of a bad power set. I’ve complained about it before but in short, it’s heavily unbalanced, doesn’t fit worm’s philosophy whatsoever, isn’t even really about crafting. It’s designed seemingly around eradicating stakes as quickly as possible and quickly becomes hard to write. Both ADS and BCF work off of a modified CF. It’s just that BCF works with what the author feels most comfortable writing, and ADS based off of what would make the best narrative.

BCF cut all unfamiliar IPs and most insert companions whose personality is not dedicated by the author, while ADS takes an axe to many of the weak points of the forge. Spent too long idling in a safe space that can’t be attacked or compromised? Gone. Most of the more absurd free gear has been cut, like tinkertech. Perks that improve your body instead of giving you crafting powers are also gone, no free indestructibility and super speed and super strength without technology. They’re acknowledging to be missing from the forge and I’m all the gladder to see them go.

To me, the essence of a tinkerfic is about building things with your own hands and the reliance on your technology. A tinker who isn’t a squishy wizard because he’s been magically enhanced to be an ultra man and is really just using a vorpal sword he mentally created within a second out of materials he summoned into being for fun isn’t compelling. It’s not what I’m here for when I read ‘tinker’. BCF is, for all its technobabble, hardly a tinkerfic with how much Joe relies on his other abilities , and how much further they’d stretch if he didn’t waste so much time working on tech he doesn’t need in the first place. Joe is not a tinker. He did not even start with tinker powers, and frankly when I talk about him and read about him I don’t really classify him as a tinker. He’s a shaker.

With literally millions of less words, Greg is a tinker. When you strip him of technology, he’s pretty goddamn helpless, which is something the CF (and jumpchains) loathe. He needs to eat, sleep, can get hurt, he gets his arm ripped off a couple times even. Vulnerability and conflict means the power fantasy train has to end and when you don’t address that, writing a six thousand words about a spaceship isn’t going to match the empty pit where meaningful conflict and plot progression is supposed to go.

But ADS goes a step further than cutting the slow strangler vine killing conflict from BCF’s power tree. It actively makes these rolls vital to the plot and character progression of Greg, not directly because of the powers themselves, but Gaylien.

Gay Alien, aka Gaylien, technically goes by the Celestial Forge but is referred to as Gaylien by everyone else including myself. He is not the CF, but a new consciousness implanted with the memories of fanon slash worm and an innate knowledge of the original Forge, and god, I love this character and I think it was an incredible choice.

To contrast, BCF has a direct analogous character. It’s Forge itself is the powers of the post spark jumper that is Joe’s “shard”. Joes shard has been described and acts in continuity with the opinions of the fanbase, particularly on places like Reddit, combined. Shard communicates with Joe by sharing its emotions with him. It isn’t really a specific character than it is in its influence on Joe. Which sucks ass. Let’s break the “fanon insert character” down a little bit.

I think it’s pretty safe for me to say on Wormblr that a lot of people who post about worm haven’t actually read the book and there’s a lot of….interesting ideas floating around about how things go down. Mashing this into canonical worm is always a fun treat in my opinion, and I’m always a fan of seeing how it plays out when canon is taken seriously. When you openly say a characters opinions are based off of fanon, I don’t think it’s erroneous to assume the character is largely misguided and working off of the wrong information.

This is not true in BCF. Joe’s Shard’s information on canon events is all correct, things like aura theory that are just categorically untrue. Joe’s shard DOES lead Joe wrong—in its moral attitude. Shard wants to see Taylor beat people up, has an affection for the undersiders despite Joe’s reluctance based on their personal histories. This isn’t bad per se, but combined with the other letdowns just irons away some of Joe’s character. After his trigger Joe relied on his shards emotional support to the point that in the early chapters it was basically making the decisions as noted by Lisa, and when it told him Taylor was the coolest person ever and the undersiders were all super cool and sympathetic and he needed to help Taylor, he ultimately chose to work with them because of it. However shortly after with the bank job, Taylor maimed Aegis with Joe’s tech, he was horrified to be dragged into their criminal behavior (eyeroll but hey pussies are characters too) but ended up committing, in for a penny in for a pound. This permanently hurt his relationship with his shard, by that I mean it’s pretty much written out of the story, taking a backseat besides warning Joe of big threats like March.

Joe operates off of all of its information on the Protectorate and New Wave like it’s true and this is never portrayed as negative or harmful to him in any real way. Armsmaster is a control freak who’s impossible to work with because he’s too much of a glory hound to do anything productive. Victoria is brainwashing her whole family. Piggot really is a fraudster, too cape racist to be an effective leader. So on so forth, there’s no friction between fact and fiction, no meat to this addition. Shard really just feels like a roundabout way for Joe to operate with some level of awareness of some canon events, and a reason why a total doormat like him would handle living after his trigger event and ever work with the undersiders.

Gaylien is very specifically not the forge. He’s also very specifically dead fucking wrong. He is also not written out of the story in increments, but becomes a bigger presence within the fic the longer it goes on. His gimmick is not emotional influence towards Greg, he’s a completely separate person sharing Greg’s body who takes control after every roll. First for only a few seconds, then a minute, then five, then ten, then hours at a time. He wakes up wherever Greg is and fumbles through trying to work out what’s going on while Greg quickly becomes aware of him and tries to figure out what he even is or what he could want. Their relationship is antagonistic from the start, Gaylien is more “Taylor saved the World” and “the Protectorate is another gang” than a Greg fan and is pretty upset to be dealing with him at all, while Greg isn’t pleased that a guy who hates his coworkers and himself is stealing his body, and staying even longer each time. Did I mention Greg goes to join the Protectorate? It’s great.

Gaylien as a character is incredibly interesting from the get go. Initially all we see of him is from other POVs, Greg listening to recordings he set up, the other Wards when Gaylien crashes a graduation party, before we settle into his point of view for several chapters. There’s two aspects here that make him more enjoyable than Shard.

As a plot device he’s an active threat. Existentially he stays longer every power roll, every couple thousand rolls is another step closer to Gaylien taking control. And when he does take control it has consequences for Greg, even when he sets alarms to warn others and creates Pilot, his sexy chatbot, with the capacity to restrain him. He spits venom at Amy, trashes Greg’s room and technology, spouts random information like Rebecca Costa-Brown being Alexandria to Armsmaster in plainclothes (which he doesn’t take seriously lol) and its legitimately a problem to where you don’t want power rolls to happen and when you get close to one you’re just praying Greg’s in a position where the fallout isn’t big. Which is where one of my favorite moments comes in.

Greg learns to reject rolls. With active effort he can deny the Forge’s connection and opt out of taking a power, and has full incentive to do so. To me it really summarizes how the author treats the forge and powerwank where rejecting powers is an incredibly useful and incentivized skill. We’re so detached from sitting in time dilation thinking about powers to get powers that this is seriously hype. And Greg having some agency out of his hate for the forge and his powers is a lot more interesting than “well my powers unconditionally love and support me in everything but are kind of weird so I ignore them on moral questions”.

As a character, Gaylien is a lot more interesting. With the CF taken as post spark perks and how little backstory the forge itself has, the most character you can prescribe to Shard is that it’s a post spark jumper traveling the multiverse who wants to see Taylor blow things up and wanted to help out the guy who harassed Parian for reasons I guess. On the other hand, Gaylien is a fresh person. Like, completely fresh, never eaten, slept, shat. Literally all he knows is that the world is going to end, the heroes and cauldron are all evil, and Taylor is going to save the world and he needs to help her. He’s actually a pretty sympathetic character, he feels. He gets stressed and confused, feels guilty, gets angry, he genuinely likes building and takes pride in his creations and while he’s an asshole and wrong he’s just operating off of incorrect information and is incredibly stubborn. Even Greg has a short lived moment of sympathy for Gaylien despite the encroaching ego death he’s causing when he’s lost and alone. Then, when the rolls start coming fast enough for Greg to be gone and Gaylien takes center stage we really start seeing his character shine. The last several chapters have all been Gaylien POV, from his first appearances and now what he’s doing with full control of the body. Gaylien believes that Taylor is always right, that the world is going to end, and that he can help her become something glorious. It’s genuine, it’s stupid, and it’s great. I really want to see more of him.

ADS also makes several great points with the differences between Greg and Gaylien and how they use their powers compared to Joe. Gaylien, much like Joe, spends a lot of his time after each power rebuilding items and over engineering simple things and putting lots of effort into every item for small increases. Greg on the other hand doesn’t replace things if they don’t need to be, functionality is his most valued aspect. Joe had an “arc” about his obsessive rebuilding of his kit where Aisha told him he had high standards and his technology was cool even when he didn’t try and he eventually started doing the rebuilding less often.

Bringing up the coolness of tech, Greg spends less time glazing his technology than Gaylien (and of course Joe), despite literally admitting he’s making decisions to look cool. Greg is open with his more selfish desires, he’s making the bot that restrains him super hot because he wants a sexy robot. He used his powers to make porn. A lot of porn. He makes figurines of his waifus, designs his suit so he’s taller, goes out of his way to use his powers to look nice. This is all less than Gaylien who lauds his technology all the time while making it instead of having a looking into the camera moment. Gaylien does have a large ego and loves his tech, but it’s a noticeable difference in the POVs. There’s a specific line from Greg about not being a pussy about making his gear look cool because he had to or not admitting it, which reminds me of Joe.

In BCF, Joe physically cannot make things below a level of quality (despite powers he could use to mitigate that). He is “forced” to make things supernaturally beautiful all the time and constantly look cool, handsome and awesome. Don’t worry, if you thought this had consequences he has a nano machine swarm to help him print anything normal he’d need and he can just glamor up to look average so we can have our paragraphs of paragraphs of paragraphs describing just how amazingly awesome he is and even more this time I promise he looks and wow he even started a fashion war which he’s winning by leagues look at how super humanly hot he is phew. While it’s in character for Greg, it’s definitely a breath of fresh air and an interesting critique.

Frankly, Greg and Gayliens dynamic is far more interesting than Joe and his Shards. Joe doesn’t even have a unique relationship with it, he’s unconditionally loved by his team, several sentient objects, has a supportive therapist, so on so forth. Greg and Gaylien are both battling over the right to be alive and who is making the most of their time with their powers, Greg with his knowledge of being a cauldron agent and protectorate hero and Gaylien with his information on Taylor and Zion. The fear of ego death is treated with weight, where in BCF joe has a blink and you miss it arc about struggling with implanted memories and impulses before deciding to not bother to fight them and a large part of those impulses vanish asides from a few “I have magic ptsd from this world” for a chapter or two outside of paragraphs of filler about his past lives. Frankly, ADS does that better too. Greg’s adjustment period to this timeline is fraught with anguish and uncertainty and his gamer ptsd about missing his old powers is also a problem. His old life means a lot to him, who he was and what he did, it’s not something he contemplates for a time and moves on.

Greg’s clones are also just better than Joes clones. Ugh, seriously. They’re short lived for one and bring up things actually heavy in Greg’s thoughts instead of “goto the therapist” or whatever and he’s open about summoning them for emotional reasons. To be frank Greg finds his moral footing extremely quickly and sticks to it a lot better than Joe. He doesn’t spent hours mulling over stupid stuff and he’s open to actually relevant questions, like handling being a cauldron agent and wanting to help case fifty threes, the fic acknowledging that these ideas aren’t at odds and Greg is also made to really understand firsthand the scope of cauldron.

Man the cauldron stuff is so good. So is the ziz fight honestly. reading ADS was actually fun, armsmaster is great, Amy was fun, it was just a better fic. I could roll my eyes and laugh along when Greg did something self indulgent because one, it’s Greg, two he was self regulating a lot better than Joe fuckin’ was, and three it wasn’t getting in the way of plot. While the rest of the fic isn’t my speed and I have my problems with it, I’m definitely going to be seated for the next update and start to consider ADS on its own footing. As well as comparing it to BCF more because honestly it feels like there’s some digs in there that I wholly approve of. I have more thoughts, and I’ll probably have more as I reread it and more updates come, but I think this is a good enough opener.

also yeah I have a slur counter. Nice one ironypus. I’ve already read BCFs terrible writing decision of sexualizing a black teenage girl until she’s “made modest” by the adult white mc who adultifies her into his on call therapist, so both CFs do have a racism problem. Fair reason not to read, I dnf’d the first half because it was too much on that count a couple times.

Something something Joe getting lapped by Greg making waifu porn something go read tilt. Seriously go read tilt.

[sammywolfgirl]

Well shit this ace attorney au case whatever thing has a rough outline.

Frick.

Well I’ll get down what I got now before I forget when I get back into the persona zone:tm:

This is beyond just like playing with giving Bobby a niece this turned into a future fic sort of situation so uh yeah imma ramble

There will be spoilers for AA5 below soooo

So this would be another time skip game which takes place roughly 8 years post duel destinies (spirit of justice is acknowledged I just haven’t played/watched the game in a while so all that matters is Apollo is off doing his own cool spinoff game adventures)

Our protagonists are Athena Cykes who’s mentoring the newest attorney to join the wright anything agency!… currently unnamed guy who I’ve been calling Pathos because I kinda want that to be his last name.

I’ll list down themes and the general vibe I want this ‘game’ to have since uh at most it might be a future fic.

‘Gameplay’

For all intense and purposes this is the closest we’re getting to Athena cyckes ace attorney, depending on how the writing goes it might actually just be my pitch for the game but some ocs are here because I’m normal about them. The pov would swap between Athena who’s come into her own as a lawyer (it’s been 8 years) and is mostly trying to do her best to mentor the young attorney who sought her out specifically because of her psychology specialty.

And then there’s Pathos, who since Apollo isn’t here is the new punching bag straight man! I’m still developing him but he’s a more serious/level headed attorney, who’s biggest flaw is he can’t be as unbiased as he wants to. Like it or not he’s swayed by his own emotions more than he wants. Pathos’s ability is that he can read peoples expressions and tell if they’re hiding how they truly feel/if their expressed emotions don’t line up with their words/can pick up if someone is trying to smother theirs emotions. Idk the specifics might change but my idea is it’s like an investigation version of apollos lie detection and Athena’s mood matrix, but instead the contradiction you point out is if their emotional response doesn’t line up with their words.

Pathos grew up in a situation where learning to read if someone was about to snap was how he survived, he learned this skill as a means of survival, it’s not something he was born with.

Aaand that ties into the overall theme.

Emotions.

How they’re expressed, how they’re smothered, and how they drive someone.

Listen if the main mentor is Athena there’s gonna be a lot of emotion talk, I’m thinking her mood matrix is primarily for the court room while Pathos’ thing is for investigations primarily, but they can cross over.

Uh anyways what’s the big case:tm: for this ‘game.’

That fucking spy orginization duel destinies can’t just drop that and NOT ELABORATE so I will and am. The past case is that a few years ago a deal was made with the phantom that got interpol names and locations of the phantom’s handler and others who worked for the unnamed spy orginization. A raid was done and many criminals and spy agents (assets??) arrested, however not all were captured and importantly in this story, the phantoms main handler (and trainer??) wasn’t caught. And the background story is that Simon is working with Interpol to track down those stragglers.

Notably, Poppy Fulbright (who’s a detective now that’s she’s grown) has also been helping but she’s uh… kinda been doing her own investigation. She wants Justice for her uncle and isn’t afraid to get involved in stuff she shouldn’t to that end. Sure hope that doesn’t get her in trouble haha!

Uh anyways other notable things I’m turning over in my head-

The main prosecutor is Eustace Winner/Sebastian Debest. Because I love him and I’m biased. I think at this point he’s come into his own as a prosecutor but he very much isn’t the best around. He still gets hung up on his words or how to say what he means, but he searches for the truth and always aims to do his best on every case he works. I just think the prosecution team being goofballs who genuinely want to find the truth would be a fun contrast (plus with Pathos being more serious the side characters get to be more goofy as a treat)

The assistant to pathos is a school friend who I think is studying to be a judge? Idk she’s planning to go into law at least, she’s also only a little younger than pathos (lawyer oc is 20 while assistant is like 19) I’m still figuring out her personality dynamic but leaning towards she’s the middle ground between the serious Pathos and energetic and bubbly Athena.

I love the judge but I don’t think he can survive another time skip, he can retire, therefore Juniper Woods is the new judge in this essay I will- (I’m not against judge Courtney who I’m forgetting the new offical localized name of being the judge either but listen listen lesbians. Gay people if you will. Plus it’d be funny for pathos to witnes his mentor and the judge lady flirting outside of court he’s just ????? It’s great)

Pheonix is around but at this point is very much letting Athena handle things, wt most he gets a few camios, this is Athena’s ‘game’ he’s off with his husband edgeworth or something. Trucy is also around and I think is doing well. If she doesn’t show up say she’s on tour for a magic show or something and pheonix is so proud.

Apollo is mentioned only at the start and it’s a framing device for the introduction as Athena is writing him to tell him about the newest rookie she’s going to be mentoring. Again, he can be off doing his own spin-off adventures.

Honestly it’s a running gag that pathos keeps getting thrown off by how many people poppy has claimed in her weird found family thing, she calls his mentor auntie, prosecutor winner uncle (playing with the idea Eustace and Bobby are half siblings for my au stuff so bringing that in here), the scary samurai lawyer uncle, some dead detective is her uncle, and it keeps getting weirder and pathos just is so lost. (And a little jealous she’s got such a connected support network)

Also. The fate of the Phantom is kept vague until it’s revealed for certain towards the end of case 4 leading into 5. Because it was a bit of a touchy case internationally a lot of things were kept tight lipped about the phantom and wether they were executed or not. Officially, the phantom was executed for their crimes after giving all the information they could.

Unofficially, they cut a deal to work with Interpol to take down the spy organization they came from, and any future ones (though they are essentially working off their sentence)

Honestly idk if the phantom would have a ‘true face’ at this point or has claimed one that looks suspiciously like Bobby Fulbrights idk this would tie into some investigation game thing with Simon and also au stuff and I have not thought about that too much just yet. This is all vaugly thought out and subject to change.

If it wasn’t clear the lead detective is Poppy Fulbright. Though Emma could show up for forensics idk I’d need to double check what she’s up to post spirit of justice

There’s either a new youngest Payne brother or the first case prosecutor is the son/nephew of one of the Payne brothers. I’m undecided if it’s funnier if there’s just more brothers that keep spawning and becoming prosecutors or if this has become a family occupation the next generation of Payne’s are continuing. Dealers choice.

Uh… ok final note

I’m still really vague on the cases of this game but I want an underlining theme to be emotions being surpreased/hidden causing harm.

Like a disgruntled wife finally snapping, or secrets being held for the sake of feelings causing a bigger blowout than if things were communicated, someone hiding their true feelings under a mask of indifference that sort of thing.

Ties into the theme and means I can justify mood matrix scenes because fuck you I love that gimic a lot and I’d this is ‘Athena’s game’ the fic then I get to shove in all the court therapy!!!! Nobody can stop me!!!!

Uh anyways yeah that’s what I got so far, any comments or questions are appreciated.

Like I said I won’t be working on this seriously for a while I got other writing projects I wanna finish/plan out before sitting down to work on a fic that has at least 5 to 6 mysteries in it when I’ve only written like TWO at this point.

So yeah ramble over hope you enjoyed ^_^

[deliciouskeys]

For the Writer's Ask Game, 12, 13, 14, 23, amd 21 for The Selfish Gene, if you please. :)

(Writers’ ask meme) Thank you for asking! ☺️ Some long answers towards the end, hopefully at least semi-coherent!

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

I never disliked this per se, but I have grown much more interested in people being in / getting into long term marriage-like relationships, parenting together, domesticity in general.

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

Hardcore noncon sex used to be a real staple for me. I still like noncon nonsexual situations, but have grown to prefer the party with less freedom / being whumped to be the instigator of sex, or at least having a mutual carnal interest develop. Which is still definitely dubcon.

I’ve grown indifferent to age difference as I’ve grown older. Likely because I was into “old guys��� in my teens/20s but have since lost that prism.

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?

I’m pretty bad about clicking into everything (whether the tags sound like something I love or terrifies me or mildly weirds me out, just to see what it is). I’m more likely to fully read things written by friends in the realms of: high concept AUs, characters endowed with non-human characteristics, niche fetishes (agere, complicated bdsm), and major character death.

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

For The Boys fandom, I’d love to be able to pull off a Caligula fic. What HL threatens to do when talking to Starlight with the door closed? Let’s say something happens to trigger him, and he actually goes through with it. Now we have some kind of postapocalyptic hellscape where HL has installed himself as a despot. He’s not thrilled about no longer being seen as a purely heroic figure, but he’ll take being worshipped and cowered in front of as a vengeful, jealous demigod. Maybe he still claims to be a savior, if presumably not every country in the world has fallen into ruin. I haven’t worked out fully in my head how dark I’d be willing to go. Does he have some of our faves (Maeve, Annie, Billy) under lockdown in a demented harem of sorts? After just saying I was over the noncon trope, I think I’m getting right back into it here 😅. The most interesting part of this kind of fic, to me, would be any/all of these characters being manipulative and managing to bring out a very different side of HL behind closed doors. So even though ostensibly now he’s shown his true colors to everyone, it doesn’t mean he won’t revert to being way more cajoling and uncertain and needy because…. yeah, he still wants that genuine love, despite how many acts he’d have committed in this fic to make that virtually impossible. But I could see clever characters stringing him along a la 1001 Arabian Nights until they can think of how to actually overthrow him.

Is there a lot of plot and logistics? Yes. Am I necessarily interested in writing all of that out in detail? Probably not. But depending on how season 4 unfolds, I may become more inspired 🙂

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in The Selfish Gene, what would it be?

This is a fic where many days are skipped between most chapters, but I think I cover everything I want to for HL’s pov. I initially wasn’t even going to provide any Billy pov in this fic, but HL was just too unreliable and unstable a third person closely aligned narrator not to do so periodically 😅. So a scene I’ve skipped but perhaps shouldn’t have is Billy going to visit his aunt during the period when HL is still under house arrest. My hc is that she doesn’t have Billy’s phone number because he refuses to provide it and used to change it a lot anyway, but she is up to date on what the tabloids have been reporting and had half a mind to figure out the exact address and visit him herself.

I want him to go visit her embarrassed and despondent. He hasn’t fully shared everything he knows about supes and HL in particular with her, so in that sense she’s less informed than MM. But with Aunt Judy, Billy can be a bit more open about just how freaked out he is about having a child, now that it’s dawning on him that he’s made a decision that’s going to change his life profoundly and irrevocably. Aunt Judy is savvy and pragmatic and comforts him without getting too maudlin about it. Tells him he’s going to do the best he can and that it will get him through. He contemplates taking Terror back with him to NYC but decides against it, because he doesn’t want to spring that on HL as a surprise in a confined space (aka he hasn’t fully opened up to HL despite living together for months). Aunt Judy probably finally insists on getting Billy’s phone number and promises not to contact him unless something dire happens, and promises not to tell his mother.

Why didn’t I write this scene? Honestly, one of my hurdles is writing intensely British dialogue 😂 (my self serving hc is that Billy dials down the diction differences when he’s talking to a septic like HL). But there’s at least allusion to it coming in the next chapter 🤞

[sitp-recs]

Nor All That Glisters by @sweet-s0rr0w

Artwork by @deancebra-art and @fantalf

Harry/Draco (2021, Explicit, 110k)

Lonely and frustrated on house arrest, with no prospects for the future, Draco begins brewing Felix Felicis in an attempt to improve his lot. Just in the short term, of course. He isn’t a total idiot.

But before long he finds himself with a thriving business, a nice flat, some actual (albeit irritatingly Gryffindor) friends, and a very satisfying sex life. What’s more, no-one is hexing him in the street. And Harry Potter is single, and gorgeous, and giving Draco decidedly interested looks. Stop taking the Felix? You must be joking…

“It was a facsimile of a life. A lovely, gilded facsimile, most of the time, like an enhanced version of reality. (…) Felix encouraged him to relentlessly pursue his desires, but it often favoured short-term gratification, its methods were not subtle, and it definitely lacked a conscience. And the real Draco unquestionably had one of those: it was what had made him such a useless Death Eater, after all.”

I’ve been following SS’s incredible short form - and blindingly trusting her A+ recs - long enough to know I would read 110k of her writing no matter the trope, take or plot. But I’m not gonna lie, fics dealing with substance abuse are particularly tough for me and I was a bit wary of checking this after the shitty month I had. Then again, two of my favorite Drarry fics explore this theme in a magnificent, compelling way and I knew it was only a matter of getting in the right mindset, so I decided this would be my last BB read. Now I’m glad I did it that way because the fic hangover is REAL and I spent the whole day thinking about this story.

Oh wow, where to start? What a ride! The Felix concept itself is brilliant and Lauren’s writing has a special “je ne sais quoi” that made my heart ache in all the right ways while reading this. Her narrative is sharp but tender, clinical yet sensitive, mixing angst that hurts so good with scorching UST, cute flirting and gorgeous character development. On that note she has an impressive understanding of her characters, of their essence, flaws and motivations, and the storytelling flows easy and gentle, pulling you completely into their minds and lives.

I found myself so immersed in Draco’s spiral of self-destruction, it was scary and fascinating to watch him go through his ordinary routine while silently drowning under his careful House of Cards. It breaks my heart to know he made the wrong choices for the right reasons; there’s something hopeless about seeing someone who’s trying so hard lose the grip like that. But as he’s slowly pulled apart from his identity and conscience, Harry comes along - this charming, earnest, smitten and confident Harry. Gosh, their chemistry is scorching hot and so full of yearning that I had to take breaks between every flirting line, every longing gaze or heated touch. It’s thrilling to watch them dance around each other knowing what comes next, and the building tension left me at the edge of my seat. But turns out, Harry cares so much. His big heart is Draco’s saving grace which is poetic in a bittersweet kind of way, and I love how this fact keeps pulling them towards each other.

And speaking of Harry, I gotta say that despite the fact that Draco is very much his own story’s protagonist, I was mesmerized by Harry here - probably because his side is slowly revealed but we never get to read his POV. I love his fierce, smart, commanding personality, I love how he lets things get personal, how he puts himself on the line and has so much empathy, but is also firm and conscious enough to set boundaries. It’s satisfying to see him with such emotional maturity - and what can I say about his sexy, authoritative Auror persona reading Draco’s body like an open book 🤤👌🏼

There are many other things I appreciate in this fic besides characterization, like the perfect pacing and how many side relationships are developed but the focus remains on Draco’s arc. His recovery is painfully slow and I was captivated by how his long-forgotten anxiety and memory loss complicate things further between him and Harry as the story moves forward. It’s so clever! As an angst fan I was more than happy to continue enjoying heart-aching slow burn as they are forced to relearn each other in the second half of the fic. The emotional arc is deeply satisfying and their get together (it will come, and it is happy! And thank god it brings hot smut too, because I was dying of blue balls just like them 🥶) it feels earned and it’s so full of tender intimacy, I die.

This is a gorgeous story about losing yourself and hitting rock bottom but finding hope in that one person that refuses to let go of you. It’s about healing and redemption and personal growth, and I’m so so happy that Draco was loved back so intensely and completely by Harry. If that’s your jam please don’t wait another minute, go ahead and feast on this!

Read on AO3

[freelancearsonist]

Don't you get the impression that Steven is being treated like a 3-in-1 boy? I mean, no offenses, but ff exist primarily for the sexualization of characters. If I read such things about myself, I would be terrified. I love how you write, I admire your contribution to the development of fandom, but these things are bothering me a lot. Xoxo

are you the same person who sent the other ask? you really need to evaluate your thought processes because literally no one else is on the same page 😂

it is FANFICTION. these are FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. if it’s a crime to have sexual thoughts about a fictional character, then fucking arrest me i guess idk 😂

i have read a lot of moon knight fanfiction but not a SINGLE FIC i’ve read is treating any of the characters as a “3-in-1”. they are three separate people which is why fics can be centered on any one of them or two of them or all three. people who date systems can have relationships with as many or as few alters as they want so long as all those alters are also consenting and willing to be in a relationship with that person. the fact that they share a body shouldn’t take away from the fact that they are three SEPARATE, DISTINCT people.

i’ll just close this out by saying that if you’re really bothered by how the fandom and did community operates, maybe it’s not the best place for you. i’m sorry to say this because i truly believe fandom is a place for EVERYONE but if it’s bothering you and being detrimental to your mental health, it’s never a bad idea to take a step back and reevaluate if being a part of this is truly worth the apparent worry it causes you.

all the best to you 🫶

[fill-me-with-your-memes-daddy]

Watching the Rise of the Titans movie and I'll be documenting all of my thoughts/reactions here. [Spoiler Warning]

So instead of reblogging every new update, I'm just going to have this post up on my phone as I watch and type my reactions in a bullet list format.

Nari's human disguise is so cute. As someone who does have a cottagecore aesthetic, I want to cosplay her so bad

Are Skrael and/or Belroc non-binary coded? Regardless, I'm also obsessed and I want to fuck Skrael and be Belroc.

STEVE CARING ABOUT JIM BEING HURT YESSSS!!! My god his redemption has probably been one of the greatest there is because he doesn't just suddenly go from being a bully to a completely good person. You can see the gradual shift in learning better throughout the shows which is awesome.

IN NEW YOOOOOOORRRRRRRK!!!!!! CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

The mugshot montage reminded me of season 1 of trollhunters when toby and Jim were arrested at the museum.

STRICKLER PUT A RING ON IT??? HE'S THE ONLY DILF IVE EVER ACTUALLY AGREED WAS HOT WYM I CAN'T HAVE HIM??? well I'm still really happy about his arc over the series probably one of my favorite character growths.

Eli my guy got his growth spurt!!! As an 18 year old who is still 5'0", I'm happy but envious for him

So I went into this movie without watching any trailers or promo, but I doubt anything could have prepared me for the existence of mpreg. In fact, I wasn't going to document my reactions until I saw that.

NAMURA!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!! I CAN STILL THIRST FOR YOU WITHOUT GUILT

The coach teacher just called the kids zoomers so I have to dock one point from my final rating just because of that. Unforgivable

Those husky animation models suck lmao

Oh fuck the titans got power ranger zords!!

God why did they include the mpreg??? This movie would have been perfect without it.... After that plot point being revisited only one time I'm already beyond done with it

Like it's bringing me back to the v*ltron days where they're was a suspiciously high amount of klance omegaverse and mpreg fics and art created and it physically hurts because Steve and Keith's voice actor is the same person meaning this is especially cursed to me since I was unfortunately in the v*ltron fandom and remember all of that

But like on another note, how old are these characters again??? I haven't checked any wikis because of spoilers but is Steve an adult??? I know aja might be technically a lot older than 18 because alien but is whatever age she is equivalent to an adult as far as emotionally and physically in Akaridion development??? IS THIS A TEEN (M)PREGNANCY IN A KIDS SHOW????

Like bruh I saw a singular post on here before going into the movie that was like "rott spoilers without context" and there was a pregnant belly but I was absolutely not expecting the actual context of it. I'll find the post after I finish and edit this post to tag the creator right here: @makoden

This entire post is just gonna be me ranting about mpreg huh

Anyway I love the whole roundtable allusion to the legends of king arthur (not the toa version but the one he's based off)

THERE'S 3 TO 5 BABIES????? I need to take a break bruh this is just too much

Alright I've taken a 30 minute break got some food and did some things i love (decompressed by tactile stimming with some owl plushies and watched some videos on my favorite owl, Garu. He lives in Japan with his owner and is a domesticated eagle owl who basically just acts like a sky cat. If anyone else needs some eye bleach, here is their YouTube channel)

Blinky and ARRRGHHH!!! saying their "if one of us doesn't make it" talk my god one of them is going to die I can see it and I will be utterly crushed. Jim can't lose another father figure and Toby can't lose his wingman again I will riot if this happens

On a similar but unrelated to the movie note, can we just talk about how toa started with Jim having 0 dads and (if strickler and blinky live to the end) will end with 2 dads? Like I just really feel happy for him that he has two dads who actually figured out how to put the past behind them to not have any infighting between them so that both of them are healthy father figures. Jim has already been through literal hell and back losing his actual humanity in the process so if he loses one of them, I'm going to be really pissed because at this point, this is just Jim torture porn. Y'all know how as SpongeBob SquarePants went on, the show just became Squidward torture porn? It's starting to feel that way for toa and I really hope they cut the shit by the ending

Jlaire is such a good ship but like I feel like it's too perfect they never disagree with each other

YESSSSSSS Someone finally doesn't treat toby like a fat waste of space who messes stuff up!!! I think out of all the characters that would have been most deserving of a rewrite, it's Toby. Sometimes I just feel he's only comic relief and any heartfelt moments he's had in the series was also born of stupidity (ie his flour baby project being unharmed was seen by him as divine intervention from his parents but was actually just Eli and Steve behind the scenes).

Ohhhhh yesssssss Archie's father!!! I was hoping I'd see him again because we got so little of him last

Ooooooooooh Asian trollmarket!!!!!

Oh never mind slavery trollmarket

Bruh titanic camelot

I feel like we're not seeing enough of the villains because I completely forgot about the power ranger zord things

NAMORA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY LAST CRUSHHHH

STRICKLER NO NOT YOU TOO PLEASE

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY TWO CHARACTERS I SIMP FOR ON THIS SHOW DIED WITHIN FIVE MINUTES OF EACH OTHER

THAT WHOLE ASS RANT I WROTE IS COMING TRUE FUCK THIS MOVIE THIS SERIES IS JUST JIM TORTURE PORN

WAIT JIM'S SPERM DONOR INFO?

Oh thank God I don't want to know anything about that person

For the record, I call that man Jim's sperm donor because he has no business being called a father to him. All he did was donate some swimmers to the creation of him and give him abandonment issues

Oh another blind troll elder???? This fucker is just if vendel was a bad guy

Bruh I was grieving

PACIFIC RIM WITH GUN ROBOT VEX AND THE BELROCZORD? I've never seen that movie but I know the reference

Bruh Blinky doesn't read horoscopes? Does he realize conspiracy theories are just the manly version of horoscopes?

NO DON'T KILL VEX STOP KO-ING FOUND FAMILY MEMBERS

Oh thank God he's okay

NO NOT ARCHIE AND CHARLEMAGNE OH MY GOD

oh never mind they're just gonna coup de tat I believe in them :))

But I want to see him again

But I'm glad to see vex

Yay they're in arcadia!

But yeah I wondered why the trolls and Merlin didn't keep the whole "daylight doesn't hurt trolls" feature from the eternal night but now Guillermo del Toro I see you were playing the long con in that just to kill my girl Namora :(((

Oooooh I love the animation of the Narizord over Chihuahua!! It looks very good and realistic (if only they could have put some of that into those huskies from before smh)

Bruh the character designs of the arcane order are so good I want to be them

Nari making sure the Skraelzord doesn't crush the bus

DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE

Bruh I'm just glad we finally have an answer on why arcadia had everything going on as opposed to literally anywhere else!! I always found that as a weird coincidence for plot convince.

BRUH WERE BACK TO THE MPREG IM SO JEALOUS I FORGOT ABOUT THAT EVEN THOUGH IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS GRIEVING THE LOSS OF MY LOVELIES.

Oh that's real convenient that the ninth configuration meant all of them. Way to not decide which character gets more attention. Though it probably was a smart way to not have any infighting in the fandom between each character's stan group.

Bruh I just realized where is Barbera did they just ditch her on the Camelot ship???

And where are the other trolls that migrated at the end of trollhunters s3? They said something about new jersey but obviously Jim and the other main characters got on Camelot instead.... This feels like a plot hole

And we never learned the process of how changelings are made and bonded to humans and stuff. We just know it's super painful but I'm curious ffs!!!!

THE DONT THINK BECOME HERO SPEECH ALL SAID TOGETHER!!!

BRUH THEY REALLY HAD TO SHOW HIM GIVING BIRTH??????? WAS THAT AN ABSOLUTE MUST??????

Plus the main audience for this series is little children (the rating for the movie is literally TV-Y7) so even though my adult ass is not in the target audience, I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD MPREG AND ANAL BIRTH WOULD BE AN IMPORTANT THING TO 7 YEAR OLDS???? THIS IS A LITERAL FETISH HIDDEN IN KIDS CONTENT ITS ELSAGATE ALL OVER AGAIN Y'ALL 😭😭😭😭😭

Though it's probably hypocritical of me to think fetishes don't belong in kids tv when I've openly admitted to thirsting for strickler and namora

HUZZAH

NEW AMULET WAZ GOOD????

STAB THAT BITCH JIM

WAIT NO I SAID STAB NOT GET STABBED

Alright good job just missed the directions at first but you fixed it

SEVEN KIDS?????????

T O B Y ????????????

W A I T NO

N O

IS HE ACTUALLY

OH MY GOD THERE'S HOPE

NO THERE ISN'T

F U C K THIS SHIT THEY REALLY JUST HAD HIM TO BE BULLIED THEN KILLED

Y'ALL IM ACTUALLY CRYING THIS NEVER HAPPENS

I NEVER ACTUALLY GET SO EMOTIONAL OVER MEDIA THAT I CRY IT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE AT THE END OF VOLTRON BUT AHHHHHHHH

W A I T

HE'S GONNA BE BROUGHT BACK?????

HOLD UP THEY'RE JUST GONNA BRING ALL THOSE DEAD PEOPLE BACK??????

WAIT IS HE

BLINKY CALLED HIM A SON

HOLD ON IS THIS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER???????????

BRUH THEY REALLY JUST CAN'T END THE SERIES WITHOUT CLIFFHANGERS like there's always an open ending

TROLLHUNTER TOBY????? You know what forget the whole rants I had on how toby was written they just redeemed it all

And that's all! I'd rate it a 6.5/10 because it's definitely the weakest of all the sequels but still had amazing animation and some good plot points. It's just really hard to look over the bad stuff enough to rate it any higher.

[graymatters]

Fic Rec: Nor All That Glisters by @sweet-s0rr0w

Drarry | Explicit | 110k

Tags: EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Auror Harry Potter, Potioneer Draco Malfoy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Felix Felicis (Liquid Luck Potion), Squib Rights, Original Squib Character, Quidditch, Draco & Neville Friendship, Draco & Pansy Friendship, Explicit Sexual Content

Content Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Felix Felicis Abuse and Addiction, Dreamless Sleep Abuse and Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Mildly Dubious Consent (involving Felix Felicis), Withdrawal & Recovery, Hallucinations, Panic Attacks, Blood & Injury, Vague & Fleeting Suicidal Thoughts

(additional tags on AO3)

Summary:

Lonely and frustrated on house arrest, with no prospects for the future, Draco begins brewing Felix Felicis in an attempt to improve his lot. Just in the short term, of course. He isn’t a total idiot.

But before long he finds himself with a thriving business, a nice flat, some actual (albeit irritatingly Gryffindor) friends, and a very satisfying sex life. What’s more, no-one is hexing him in the street. And Harry Potter is single, and gorgeous, and giving Draco decidedly interested looks.

Stop taking the Felix? You must be joking…

My own wild rambling to convince you to read this fic: You know those fics that are just going to rattle around in your head for weeks and weeks and weeks? This is one of those fics.

I'm having trouble deciding where to start so as not to sound utterly incoherent. Ah, how about the Felix? The creativity injected into the use of Felix Felicis throughout the fic is no short of brilliant. The intricacies and complexities of addiction are challenging enough to handle, but throw in a magical substance that has infinitely more complicated consequences and effects -- that's a huge undertaking. But @sweet-s0rr0w managed it masterfully and without sugar-coating or shying away from the realities of addiction, which showed how much care and effort were taken to portray the topic with justice.

That careful consideration overflowed into @sweet-s0rr0w's portrayal of these characters. This Draco is probably my favorite version of him that I've ever read. Full stop. His emotional range and motivations are so well-developed, so complex, and they felt real. Not to mention the beautiful unfolding of his and Harry's relationship, the realities of working through some very difficult issues, and the slow building of trust and love. Extremely well-paced and believable. A stunning evolution of a really intricate and complicated relationship.

I cannot write a rec for this fic without bragging about the lovely OC and Draco's friendships with her, Neville, and Pansy. I absolutely adored this added layer, and the side characters supplemented the story well, bringing their own fun and unique quirks and storylines without serving as a distraction.

And the ART. Absolutely gorgeous art from @deancebra-art and @fantalf that complimented the fic beautifully. Every piece was just stunning, from the larger art pieces, down to the adorable little chapter titles.

Everything in this world felt so well-fleshed-out, carefully thought through, and intentional, written with surgical precision, with not a word out of place. But @sweet-s0rr0w's writing still manages to feel like a warm hug, despite the difficult topics covered. Please take the warnings seriously, but know they are handled with the utmost care and not included for mere shock value. This fic had me crying, laughing, and finding spare seconds between tasks to read a few more paragraphs, and the rollercoaster of this 110k journey made the ending that much more satisfying. When you're craving the redemption arc that Draco actually deserved, Give Nor All That Glisters a read on AO3.

[three--rings]

I have, over time, developed an allergy to Lan Qiren and the Lan Clan as a whole being depicted as just out and out abusive.

Like obviously this is a CQL thing, because CQL removes much of the context of LWJ’s punishment etc, but I do still read CQL based fic, or fic written by CQL based writers, though it’s super tempting to just avoid it entirely.

But, like, it’s possible for a parental figure to be strict and NOT be abusive and cruel, you know?  I know there’s been a conversation about cultural parenting styles, but that’s not even necessary to bring in.

One of my best friends growing up was white and had super strict parents.  Being around them, I always felt like they had so many arbitrary rules with no flexibility.  And as we got older, she got more and more rebellious against them and I think it contributed to some poor/dangerous decisions, which is why I’m not a fan of strict parenting.  I was raised very differently, as a second child with much more free thinking permissive parents.  (My older brother was so bad and constantly getting like suspended and arrested that I could basically do anything I wanted short of that and look like a golden child.)

But, like, my friend’s home wasn’t ABUSIVE in any way.  They were a close family who loved each other. Having rules and enforcing them doesn’t equate to being cruel.  Just because they had dinner at a certain time each day, and had set chores, and she had a firm curfew, and wasn’t allowed posters on her walls, doesn’t mean she was ABUSED.

So when I see people take “lots of rules” and turn that into “cruel, unloving, emotionally and physically abusive, totally unpleasant to be around”, I just feel like people are making a fundamental error arising from their own narrow experience. 

I also think this is probably a result of American pop culture.  Shorthand for “mean” in American film is often “strict.”  Our culture values the individualist rebel who breaks the rules, so the “enemy” is often rules-oriented.  So I think people are conditioned to have a kneejerk “strict = villain” reaction with media. 

Now personally, I feel like I couldn’t live in the Lan Sect.  I’d go insane with that environment.  But I also got through seven years of Catholic school where you could get detention for wearing the wrong color socks or having your shirt untucked, and I literally never got detention.  (I think I was one of like three people to graduate scot free.)  Was my school abusive for having a lot of rules?  No.  It was just the way it was.  I knew the system so I wore the right socks while openly practicing witchcraft and supporting my queer friends.  I was literally voted “most likely to wear black nail polish forever” or something.  (Shut up, you don’t know me....*hides bottle behind my back.*)

But anyway, I didn’t mean to ramble so much.  My point is that painting Lan Qiren and the Lan sect as the villains, as abusive and cruel for having structure and rules just strikes me as so fundamentally lacking in imagination.  By all means, can we talk about the rebellious Lans?  The black nail polish Lans?  Cause those environments breed rebellion in a lot of folks.

But that doesn’t make them abuse.  And I’ve entirely gone off otherwise very good fics because of this BS.

[aerialflight]

Fic Rec (it's been too long and I read a whole lot of fics)

I've read so many fics these past couple of months and my need to share them to the world has seized me by the throat. Please enjoy and support these fanfic writers! They are the best. XD

-

[Naruto]

Nine-Tailed Foxes are Dead by RowlettLesbian

Ship: Shikamaru/Naruto

For Konoha, it's been one month since the preliminary Chunin exams. For Naruto, it's been six. And he wasn't in Konoha.

At the end of his ordeal, Naruto walks into the Chunin Exam finals without his left arm.

Shikamaru is very concerned. And, eventually, very precious to Naruto as they work together to solve the mysteries of Konoha and bring kindness to the Shinobi world, one adventure at a time.

(I would die for this fic. I know the summary sounds doom and gloom but IT'S NOT. This fic made me fucking cry, I don't think I've ever read a fic that characterized Naruto so right. He's so full of hope and love and develops into the best version of himself and I'm so HERE FOR IT. And it's not just Naruto, Shikamaru is absolutely amazing here along with Kakashi and surprise surprise Ino, I can't BELIEVE it took me this long to stumble across this fic. Also THE WORLDBUILDING IS TO DIE FOR!!! And the plot! Is! So! Interesting! Just, everything about this fic is just amazing so please PLEASE read this!!!)

The End of the Uchiha by RowlettLesbian

Ship: Naruto/Sasuke

“I promise, little electric spirit of this shrine,” he whispered into the soft dirt and fallen leaves, “I will never gain the eyes. I will never pass them on. And I will make sure the eyes end in my brother, so that they can’t hurt anybody anymore. I will be the last Uchiha, and see to the end of the Copy-Wheel Clan. Then all of the hatred here can stop, and my family can rest peacefully. I promise, little shrine.”

Sasuke is more than his brother thinks he is. He's more than any Uchiha has ever been. He will kill his brother, but it will not be vengeance.

It will be mercy.

(Same author as the one above, they are the gift that keeps on giving. Seriously, HOW did I NEVER FIND THESE FICS before now??? One of life's greatest mysteries. The author's sense of humor is so on point here along with the atmospheric writing that's so vivid in the mind. Their writing style is so recognizable to me now and makes me fall into the world they're creating, it's stunning. Sasuke here makes me want to hug him and the idea of him living like a feral ghibli character has me LIVING. Check the tags of the fic, all of it is true, hand to god. Please give all of the author's fics a shot, it's a rabbit hole I'm thankful I fell into!)

mil fantasmas (gritan en calma) by LegaciesandMemories

Post-Tsukuyomi, something in Uchiha Sasuke's mind shatters. The same night, Yamanaka Ino falls asleep and doesn't wake up for 15 days.

---

In which Ino and Sasuke both wake from the aftermath of the Uchiha Massacre with the ability to see ghosts, and no one is prepared for the fallout.

(This fic has arrested my curiosity and eagerness to know what will happen next. These poor kids need so many hugs and Ino is getting the spotlight she deserves. I am so excited for this fic and what it has in store! Please read! XD)

Lichtenberg Figures by Asteroid_Duck (JustThatOneGirl1815)

Name: Kakashi Hatake Rank: Jounin Status: Missing Nin Missing Since: June 15th, 271 AD Note: Flee on Sight . . . Haburashi looked his team in the eyes— three, fresh out of the Academy genin— and resolved to teach them as best as he could. And right now, his lesson was simple: “Stay. Away. From. Kakashi. Hatake.”

(Dimension travel fic with a slice of Kakashi being an absolute troll and dealing with the shitty hand he's been dealt with. Seriously, the man has the worst luck in all of Konoha. Also, the mystery of the other Kakashi's history has me leaning by the edge of my seat, I need to know.)

The Governess by Ysmirel

Ship: Kakashi/OFC

"“What,” he finally asked, “is so funny?”

Ibara bit her lower lip to keep the chuckles in, still smiling and making absolutely no effort to get more space between them, seemingly perfectly at ease within reach of a trained shinobi. Her self-control wasn't all that good, as she ended up snorting and was overcame once again by another fit of laughter. “I just- It's just-” She struggled to speak, trying to catch her breath and wiping away tears of mirth with the hand that wasn't still holding onto his vest. Finally, she looked him in the eye and said, with a smile that was all teeth and without a hint of her previous drunken stupor, “and who's going to believe you?”

As he stood there, stunned by her words and change in demeanor, he realized with dawning horror that she was right."

In which Kakashi finds himself at the other end of the troll shtick, and he doesn't appreciate it all that much.

(It's so hard to find self-insert fics with a fresh concept these days, especially in the naruto fandom. Not that I don't enjoy and devour a lot of self insert fics like it's going out of style, but it's just so nice to find something new and shiny and really damn good. I'm so pumped for this fic and how it's going to develop so please join me in rooting for this fic!)

half a league (until the valley of death) by SpectersShadow117

Kakashi can think of no reason for Sasuke's inexplicable and drastic change in behavior. He doesn't like the desperate, haunted gleam in his student's eyes, and he also doesn't like the nagging feeling that he's missing something very important. Aka: Future Sasuke goes to Past Sasuke and gives him a reality check with Specific Intentions, but as with most Uchiha, his methods leave much to be desired. (Featuring: Childhood trauma FTW, Konoha's shitty care of orphans, and absolutely no one having a fun time.)

(Sasuke wanting to change the future out of complete and utter spite has me LIVING. Sasuke is such a Mess here and the twist on the time travel premise is so good and the kid is so Traumatized and Desperate and Not Having A Good Time. Naruto and Sakura developing as better ninjas and Kakashi trying his best makes me want to scream. Also, how Sasuke thinks about Itachi makes me want to cackle. I am 100% down for this. I am rooting for this kid, go get them! XD)

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[Harry Potter]

fruit loops in time (circle around me) by justprompts

Ships: Harry/Draco, Remus/Sirius

"This is Crabbe, and Goyle," the blonde boy says, pointing at the two boys next to him. "And I'm Malfoy, Draco Ma - "

Ron laughs, and Malfoy immediately bristles.

"Think my name's funny, do you?" Malfoy says, angrily. "No need to ask yours - "

"You're honestly so cute," Ron interrupts, yet again, shaking his head. "So tiny. And so angry, all the time. It's adorable."

Alternatively Ron Weasley, Time Traveller Extraordinaire, is stuck in the same seven year Hogwarts Loop, repeating the same thing over and over again. Naturally, he's so done with everything.

(This is the greatest hp fic I've ever read. I LOVE RON WEASLEY and by the time you read this fic SO WILL YOU!! This is the fic I WISH I have the ability to write. I read this entire fic aloud to my brother and we spent literal hours howling and talking about how utterly insane and incredible this fic is, it's amazing. This is hands down my favorite Ron Weasley. You Can Pry This Fic From My Cold Dead Fingers.)

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[Boku no Hero Academia]

Kacchan's Cult by Ourliazo

Pro Hero Ground Zero is attacked, originally meant to be de-aged out of existence by a desperate villain but is instead launched into his 14-year-old self.

But Katsuki is a fucking pro so whatever, time to fuck up someone's day. And sure, maybe he's only one man, but that's why he conscripts the entirety of the UA student body into tearing down some criminal empires.

(It's time travel, crack, and Bakugou being his usual explody, competent self. What more in life do you want? Seriously though, please read. I'm obsessed with this fic and having a Good Time!)

Cleaning Crew; Teaching Kids to Value their Safety, for Fun and Profit by Reavv

Takenaka Hideo is a thirty-two year old, in mild desperation for money, who has just been hired as a new janitor for UA's support staff. He has a quirk that lets him find lost objects, a liaison with the police because of it, and desperate desire for competent co-workers.

Oh, and he's already lived a previous life, in a world where quirks and heroes didn't even exist.

Not a big deal, though. It's not like you ever see the janitor playing a big part in action movies. He's here to get paid, and that's it.

On the opposite side of the equation, class 1-A has to wonder at the new UA cryptid that always seems to show up when things are on fire, and who keeps trying to convince them to let the adults handle the fire extinguisher.

(A great deal of fun packed into one fic. That is how I title this fic and nothing will change my mind! Hideo just wants to quietly do his job and not get in the way. I Relate. Please read!)

Poltergeist by WriterGreenReads

Class 1-A is haunted.

Well, not really.

I AM dead, though.

World's friendliest poltergeist, at your service.

(I don't know how I got so sucked into OC fics, but I found some fantastic fics along the way so I have no regrets. The author really tries to push the premise and I just love all the interactions and dynamics that form as the fic gets further in. And the OC character and all the hijinks they get up to cracks me up! At the same time, it's pretty heartwarming and it's practically a friendships galore fic! Definitely recommend it!)

invincible by supercrunch for Engrin

Ship: Bakugou/Midoriya

This is the way the world works: the sun rises in the east. The strong come out on top. Bakugou Katsuki rockets through life like a comet and Midoriya Izuku stumbles after. If he believed in such things Katsuki would say it was written in the stars. That some god of war had looked at him and said this one. That he’d been passed along a line to get his blessings – genius, willpower, fearless ambition – and dropped off on earth.

Then, of course, there is the question of Deku. The spitfire runt. Deku, no matter what the world does to him, never stops hoping.

Until, of course, he eventually does.

(Katsuki broke him. Snapped him in half like a twig and now has to scramble to put Deku back together. “We can do this, Deku," he says slowly. "There are so many mysteries that never got put to bed. Criminals roaming around looking to hurt people and you and me, we can fix that.”

There’s a long pause. The comforter slips a little off Deku’s skinny shoulders and drowns him. “You mean like a team?”

In that split second, Katsuki makes a decision he’s never even considered. He swallows his pride. “Yeah, Deku. We’d be a team.”)

(If there was any other way canon could've gone, this is the story I would've wanted. It's perfect.)

Inadvertent Wilderness Therapy by Cacid

Following an unfortunate encounter with a teleporter on the last day of internships, Bakugou Katsuki and Hakamata Tsunagu spend some quality time in northern Canada.

In no particular order they will: build ugly survival shelters, stalk rabbits, run from polar bears, reflect on the chemical composition of trees, insult each other, and complain about krumholtz.

(THESE TWO. TOGETHER. IN THE WILDERNESS. IN FUCKING CANADA OF ALL PLACES. I still can't believe this fic actually exists and just how INVESTED I became in their relationship. Blue Jeanist instantly became my favorite ranked hero with this fic alone. HIS SENSE OF HUMOR IS TERRIBLE, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH FNIEWOPAF. BAKUGOU DOES TOO. IT'S FUCKING INCREDIBLE. *incoherent screeching into the wild*)

-

[Stranger Things]

Baci D'aria by RabbitDarling

“Love is worth the sum of itself, and nothing more.” ― Alice Hoffman, Practical Magic

Steve learned a lot at his Aunt's side before she passed but his favourite thing she taught him was baci d'aria; special little spells that you created from the heart and put into the food you shared.

In opening his heart and gifts to those around him Steve slowly finds himself a family in a way he never thought he'd get to experience. One by One he collects pre-teens to trail in his wake like ducklings and Steve can't even refute it by the time he realizes what has happened.

(This fic is so soft and Steve is just collecting people and winning them over with his magical food (literally). I am always a sucker for heartwarming, good for the soul fics so if you want to make yourself hungry and feel all warm and gooey inside, read this!)

(Don't Fear) The Reaper by TeaFourTwo

Ship: Steve/Billy

He looks down at the blood on his hands and on the floor and wonders why the memory hasn’t broken yet, why he isn’t back in Starcourt mall with control of his body again, wonders if he's even still alive at all. Is this hell then? Or perhaps purgatory? It certainly isn’t heaven, that’s for sure. None of this makes any sense…but then what's new—nothing in Billy’s life makes sense anymore.

Billy laughs then, loud and long and unhinged. It's the only sound in the whole house, and it bounces off the walls like a fucked up echo, like the world is laughing with him.

“Jesus christ you’re insane…” It’s Max’s voice and it’s shaking. It only makes Billy laugh harder, because Max has it all wrong. Billy isn’t crazy, it’s the rest of the world that’s insane.

--

Billy dies a hero of sorts. He wakes up back in his bed on Saturday morning, the third of November, 1984...nearly nine months earlier.

(Billy is stuck in a time loop and it's slowly driving him crazy. And the fic shows just how much influence Billy did have in the plot and how doomed the world is without him in it. Great character exploration with Billy's character and all the ways he's so messy and human. Definitely recommend it!)

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[Knives Out]

The Road Less Traveled By by UisceOneLove

Ship: Marta/Ransom

If Harlan wants to leave Ransom to be on his own, fine. He'll show him just what Ransom Drysdale is capable of.

or, where Ransom chooses to prove his abilities through means of the non-homicidal variety and finds himself becoming exactly what Harlan was hoping he would.

(I found this fic out of sheer chance and god, Ransom is just, so fascinating to me as a character. Marta of course is the Best here and I will forever stan her. Seriously, this is such a good fic! Please read!)

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[Haikyuu!!]

Sky Full of Stars by grilledsquids

The Hinatas are twins. They're practically identical.

But while Shouyou seeks out Karasuno's volleyball team to become the next Little Giant, Natsu is scouted to to play soccer for Shiratorizawa. While Shouyou sets his eyes on playing volleyball at the highest level possible, his sister wonders how much longer she can play soccer... and if it's worth it to keep going.

A Natsu-centric story featuring: Shiratorizawa VBC shenanigans, too many soccer OCs, mild teenage drama, a little bit of plot, and Semi Eita not knowing what a period is.

(It's just!! So cute and wholesome!!! The Shiratorizawa volleyball team is so fleshed out along with the OC characters for the girl's soccer team and I swear, it's been a long while since I've laughed this much at the sheer shenanigans that happen in a fic. It's surprisingly hard to find good gen fics in this fandom so finding this gem made me so happy! If you want a fic that brings a smile to your face, read this!!)

like water by speakingincode

Ship: Oikawa/Kageyama

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi says, and when Tooru looks at him, he can read My best friend’s an idiot off the crease of his eyebrows. “Are you telling me you spent the last three years weirdly obsessed with Kageyama – I still remember the time you made us play him on a dumb whim, you know – and now you’re at his beck and call? Are you okay? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I’m— I’m not at his beck and call! I said no last week. It’s… It’s like you said. I get bored easily. I saw him at the park a couple weeks after they played Nationals and called him a perfect little tyrant, and he pestered me into spending time with him after,” Tooru says. “I’m not a monster, Iwa-chan. If he wants the company of his cool, handsome ex-upperclassman that badly, who am I to begrudge him?”

Or: Oikawa doesn't know why Kageyama keeps asking to meet him on Saturdays. He also doesn't know why he keeps saying yes.

(The fact this fic is canon-compliant and covers post-canon too makes me want to shout to the heavens. Fucking incredible! One of the best Oikakage fics ever and it's a crime how it's not at the top of the ship tag. Please please read!!)

twist into your shape by kakkoweeb

Ship: Oikawa/Kageyama

The only thing better than sweets were sweets containing paper that told you whether your future would be good or bad--or in Kageyama and Oikawa's case, paper that somehow caused you to live inside each other's bodies.

(Everyone probably already read this fic but it needs to be said, you need to read this fic. How these two try and manage each other's lives and slowly start to care about one another is so beautiful and sincere and I am ready to wrestle anyone to the floor and comply them into reading this fic. Doesn't matter if you like the ship, you will become a fan if you read it, I promise. Please please read!!)

Take the Long Road Home by pepperfield

Ship: Kuroo/Sawamura

When Azumane Asahi goes missing before his engagement meeting with Kozume Kenma, what other option is there but for Daichi to impersonate his brother and fake his way through a first date with Asahi's fiance?

Okay, let's be realistic - there were probably at least four other options.

Unfortunately, Tetsurou couldn't come up with any of them either, so now he's here flirting with Kenma's future husband while trying to keep his web of deceit from collapsing.

It's going to be an eventful day.

(I got obsessed with this ship alongside Oikakage and SO WILL YOU. THE POTENTIAL. THE BANTER. THE FACT THEY'RE BOTH DORKS AND THE FIC HAS IDENTITY SHENANIGANS DANCING ALL OVER IT!! I had so much fun reading this and these two are MEANT TO BE FENIWPAF. If you don't see the potential of this ship, you will now.)

a misunderstanding a day keeps the boyfriend away by bartallen for betuls

Ship: Kuroo/Sawamura

Kuroo doesn’t fall in love hard and fast like many others do – he falls slowly, and very very softly. Most of the times he doesn’t even realise he’s in love with someone until it’s too late.

(Kuroo is the dumbest man alive and I've never related to someone so hard in my life. God help me.)

You like me. by roseknight

Ship: Daishou/Kuroo

Kuroo nearly lived a Daishou-free life, and sometimes he looked back and wondered how much better and how much worse that would've been.

(I didn't even know who Daishou was until I read this fic and now I can't unsee the potential this ship has. I'm a ruined woman and I regret NOTHING.)

Kings of the Road, Kings of the Universe by EzzyDean

Eight magical captains, one bus, an entire summer (and country) waiting for them.

What could possibly go wrong?

(The magic of friendship meets the magic of a summer road trip meets pure magic.)

(CAPTAIN SQUAD IS THE BEST SQUAD SOMEBODY PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SEND ME SOME CAPTAIN SQUAD FICS I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS SQUAD IT'S A PROBLEM AAAAHHHHHH!)

宿縁 : See You Soon by MissKiraBlue

Ship: Oikawa/Kageyama

Upon arriving at the train station of death, an impure soul is granted a second chance at life against his will. Reincarnating into the body of Kageyama Tobio, a 15-year-old boy who recently committed suicide. Tobio's soul will depart at death and the soul needs to slip in to replace it. If the soul's reformation succeeds, he’ll reenter the cycle of rebirth and regain the right to be reborn. He will have three months to accomplish this task.

“Even though you had enough of life,” the soul whispered into the void of the room, “you were still afraid to hurt your hands, Tobio.”

Afraid of giving himself a scar, if he survived.

He touched his pulse and grasped life and couldn’t help but pity Kageyama Tobio.

"You wanted to die and now I’m here making you live again," he whispered into the night.

(I'm not even exaggerating when I say out of all the fics in this entire goddamn, too long list, this is the fic I'm anticipating and heart eyeing the most. It's only starting, but I already cried on chapter fucking 2, the power of this fic, holy shit. The author also wrote the hq time loop Every Tomorrows series, which I have an undying love for and am full on praying for the day it updates, so you KNOW this fic will be just as good. (Anybody who hasn't read this series, where the hell have you been?? Read it!!) Just, everything about this fic hurts me and something in my chest just aches when I read this fic. Go into it blind with an open heart and I swear to you, it's going to change your life. I'm already calling it. Seriously though, please please read!)

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[Crossover]

Learning to Fly by Asteroid_Duck (JustThatOneGirl1815)

Fandoms: Boku no Hero Academia, Naruto

The number three hero is a walking (well, flying) contradiction in every sense of the word. This includes his teaching skills. Why had Tokoyami agreed to this internship again? Oh right. He’d thought he was actually going to learn something. …….remind him to never be so optimistic again. . . . OR, Kakashi Hatake is reincarnated as the pro hero, Hawks. Tokoyami Fumikage suffers as a result.

(The reincarnation fic I never thought I needed and it's so good!! I've never really paid attention to Tokoyami and this fic sent me headfirst into loving him. Their dynamic is so interesting and I just love how their relationship develops. Also, Kakashi trolling the poor kid made me cackle, it's great! Definitely recommend it!)

Si Vis Pacem by athenoot

Fandoms: Boku no Hero Academia, John Wick

Everything has a price. That's what John has always known and will forever remember, even in death.

Which is pretty ironic considering his current circumstance.

Instead of a grown, scarred, weary body belonging to a man as cruel and broken as him, he's inhabiting a younger, smaller, unblemished one belonging to a child with strangely colored hair, and is living in what seems to be a superhuman society.

Well. May it never be said that John isn't a strategist. He can live with this. Maybe.

(Somewhere out there in the universe, he's certain he could hear the laughter of his enemies from beyond the grave.)

-

Or: John Wick is reincarnated as Midoriya Izuku. The world should probably watch its back.

(This should be one of the crackiest fics I've read in a while, but it's taken so seriously and I'm so HERE FOR THIS. John Wick being John Wick in a world of quirks and heroes is the GREATEST, honestly, he's so badass. Bakugou, I feel for you, you must be so fucking confused lol. Bakugou trying his best to be a good friend is one of the best things about this fic. Trust me, this fic will make your day, promise!)

A Girl's Mind is a Dangerous Place by clenastia

Fandoms: Naruto, Fairy Tail

Natsu wakes up in Sakura's body. It only gets worse from there. Also known as: In Which Natsu has No Idea what to do with Boobs.

(I binged this in two fucking days, I couldn't put it down. This fic reminded me why I liked fairy tail when I was younger and why Natsu is honestly such a great protagonist, god. And the fic does that thing, you know, the Thing where when two worlds collide, the characters struggle to acclimate and adapt to a completely another world with different rules and mindsets against their own. This fic is seriously one of the best when it comes to that aspect, it's incredible. I am going absolutely feral over here for this fic to update, I'm waiting in the wings, ready to pounce like a tiger, all the metaphors man. For the love of god, read this fic.)

Give me a landscape made of obstacles by Melise

Fandoms: Naruto, Natsume's Book of Friends

Kakashi Hatake isn’t who he says he is.

Because the truth is that he’s actually a youkai in disguise, a wolf spirit named Madara who stumbled across the Hatake clan during the Warring States Period. Intrigued by the shinobi he saw, he’d proposed a temporary alliance in which he would offer the clan protection in exchange for their teachings.

Decades later, Madara is surprised to find himself inadvertently summoned to Konoha by the last living member of the Hatake clan. Sakumo Hatake, who is mourning the recent deaths of his wife and stillborn child, doesn’t want to be alone anymore. So with his permission, Madara takes the place of Sakumo’s deceased son in order to watch over the last Hatake.

(Fusion in which the youkai of Natsume’s Book of Friends all exist in the Naruto world. No knowledge of Natsume’s Book of Friends required).

(Before this fic, I only had a very vague idea of what Natsume's Book of Friends was, and honestly, I still don't know much about it. But I didn't really need to know to get into this fic. I love the worldbuilding and the relationships Kakashi forms, both supernatural and mortal. I love how Kakashi's inhumane ways affect others around him, whether to stress them out or become used to the strange. You can go straight into this fic without knowing anything and absolutely still have a fantastic time. I definitely recommend this so please read!)

[gogglor]

Cap-Ironman RecWeek: Tropey Tuesday

Over the past year my pandemic brain decided it would produce happy chemicals exclusively by reading and writing Stony fanfiction. On the advice of counsel, I decided to take my happy chemicals where I could get’em. And the result is that I’ve had the tremendous pleasure of reading some absolutely incredible works of art by some immensely talented people. And since it’s @cap-ironman RecWeek, I figured this is as good of an excuse as any to make some posts recommending my favs (and try to keep self-recs to a minimum, but I’m only human).

I skipped Multiverse Monday since I’m still not well-versed enough in the multiverse to talk about it with any kind of recommendational authority, but today is Tropey Tuesday, and so I would like to share some fics from my all-time-favorite, major-reason-I-bother-with-the-MCU, gets-me-every-time trope:

Found Family

And so, without further ado, here are some Found Family Stony fics that I simply adore.

Avengers Family Ficlets

Author: elwenyere

Word Count: 8,548

Summary: “You built a neural network that analyzes squash,” Bruce said flatly, “and you attached it to a laser.” A collection of short stories set in the extended Domestic Avengers Universe.

Why You Should Read It:

Thing number one that you should understand about me is that I would be perfectly happy with a story about body-less entities making funny quips at each other in  a featureless void, and anything else is just a bonus. Elwenyere’s stories consistently get the banter down so unbelievably, ridiculously well that when you find out they also have heart, creativity, well-developed characters, and so much damn feeling in them, it feels like an embarrassment of riches.

Go read all of their stuff, please, but this one’s a great place to start. It’s got everything you could possibly want in a fic: over-competitive pumpkin carving, emotional hospital confessions, Christmas decorations that come to life and attack people, crab dip, Steve Rogers accidentally ruining Thanksgiving through the sheer power of his own snark, and most importantly, a bunch of human disasters that somehow make a beautiful family together.

Executive Party

Author: copperbadge

Word Count: 3,228

Summary: Tony's terrible December is suddenly looking up.

Why You Should Read It:

Copperbadge is another author where you should read everything they’ve put out there. They’ve got this phenomenally creative mind that manages to consistently draw out deeply human stories that can kinda catch you off-guard in the places they find touching moments. You might’ve heard of their very popular Foodieverse, which is an incredibly creative AU with the Avengers in the food service industry, but this is the one I come to whenever I’m looking to indulge in my favorite trope.

Tony’s looking forward to spending the night before SI breaks for Christmas doing paperwork. Steve gets the Avengers to have an impromptu video game Christmas Party in his office instead. Cb’s also got a gift for banter (I have a type when it comes to writers, ok?), and the little details like Steve’s carnage record on GTA, Natasha’s Russian appreciation for country music, and Steve’s SHIELD break-up mixtape make it just a goddamn delight to read.

patchwork people

Author: itsAllAvengers

Word Count: 28,247

Summary: It was a pretty well-known fact that Tony Stark had control issues.It was far less well-known why, though.

CW: Past abuse and non-con (not by main pairing)

Why You Should Read It:

If you’re the kind of person who regularly thinks to themself “You know what Tony Stark needs? More trauma,” then this is the fic  for you.

Tony’s got some serious trust issues and PTSD thanks to some shitty, shitty exes. This is the story about how Tony learns to trust again, Avenger by Avenger, in his new Found Family. Come for the Whump, stay for the found family insomnia infomercial parties and Steve Rogers getting arrested for enacting some sweet, sweet karmic justice.

And now we get into a sub-genre of Found Family that is also a huge weakness of mine: Tony thinks he’s only tolerated instead of wanted, and his found family convinces him otherwise.

Some Things Shouldn’t Be a Chore

Author: scifigrl47

Word Count: 22,187

Summary: Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound.  The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

Why You Should Read It:

Honestly it feels a bit like cheating to recommend the first work in scifigrl47′s tremendously popular Toasterverse, since I’m pretty sure a lot of people who don’t even like or regularly read fanfiction have liked this one, even indirectly. Sci is so ludicrously good at building an engaging, creative, character-driven universe that this series is responsible for most of the fanon you know and love about MCU fanfics. Tony’s bot Butterfingers? Sci made him up for this story. Thor’s love of Pop Tarts? Clint the vent goblin? All sci. They’re just that damn good at world-building.

In this fic, the Avengers try out a chore chart. Hilarity and feels ensue. I don’t want to say anymore and risk spoiling it because if you’ve managed to get far enough in Stony fanfiction to read this post and haven’t yet read the Toasterverse, I want to keep the experience pristine for you to enjoy. Please read this. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll reserve a hypothetical genie wish to make this series the actually canon MCU (God knows I have).

Hold the Things You Wanna Say

Author: SailorChibi

Word Count: 6,316

Summary: Tony is still a consultant, and between SI, the team and SHIELD he's overworked and exhausted. That's okay. He and Steve have been having sex for weeks but that's all it is, just sex, and Tony wants more but he'll never get it and that's okay. Really. What's not okay is the fact that Howard Stark has somehow appeared in the future and is the same as always. This is definitely going to fuck up his schedule.

CW: Abuse, Howard Stark’s A+ Parenting

Why You Should Read It:

SailorChibi’s one of those authors I’ve been meaning to get around to reading all their stuff for, but it’s tricky when you have a short attention span and an author that is just so damn prolific. They’re a multi-fandom maven consistently putting out some really great stuff, and they’re absolutely worth checking out.

This story’s a real yank on the heartstrings, and as someone who can really identify with Tony’s fear of failing the people he cares about, the point in the story where he reaches his low is just unbelievably poignant. But the warmth and the wholesomeness of the end made my heart grow three sizes the day I read it. And the love that all these idiots have for each other is just so damn palpable in this story, it damn near made me cry.

Irreplaceable

Author: Orphan Account :(

Word Count: 4,952

Summary: There are obvious downsides to being the only member of the Avengers who is not a super soldier, a god, or a super assassin, and does not Hulk out when aggravated. The most obvious one is that when villains want bait, they've got a go-to guy. Tony already knew Mondays sucked. He did not need his opinion reinforced this way.

Why You Should Read It:

It’s such a bummer I can’t plunder this author’s other works because I love this one so much!

Tony gets kidnapped and says a lot of self-deprecating things that, unbeknownst to him, are projected on a live feed to the Avengers. They rescue him and have some opinions about how easily he could be replaced. This story’s got Tony hiding from feelings like an idiot, Steve manually carrying Tony somewhere the Avengers can say nice things about him, and a lot of feels.

That’s it for today! Tune in tomorrow for some AU recs!

[softpadawan]

WIP ask: Ezra Crush & The Visitor

Ezra Crush

Synopsis: This is a sequel to my story A New Page, which starts with Ezra writing in his journal about how he's been developing feelings for Kanan over the last few years. I posted a snippet of the sequel here for a WIP Wednesday, but here's a fresh snippet:

(Ahsoka, meditating with Ezra) “What does your heart want, Ezra?”

(Ezra) A long exhalation. “Love. And… permanence.”

“And what do you want?”

“I want to be with Kanan. I want him to love me as much as I love him.”

“You cannot control his feelings.”

“I know.”

“Why do you love Kanan?”

“Because he’s kind. Because he’s caring and… gentle. But also strong. I’m never afraid when Kanan’s in charge. I know he’ll take care of me.”

“You trust him.”

“Yes. With my life. And he’s smart, too, but he isn’t a show-off. He never brags about his abilities. He actually kinda downplays them. He’s humble. But when it’s time to finally show what he can do, he doesn’t hold back. Like with the Inquisitors. It’s awesome to watch him fight.”

“So you admire him.”

“Yeah, a lot.”

“Is it possible that you may be confusing love with admiration?”

“No, this is… I mean, I dunno. Maybe? But I kinda feel like if it was just admiration, I wouldn’t be thinking about sleeping with him.”

Ahsoka’s brows sprang up. “So you’re sexually attracted to Kanan?”

Ezra blushed. “Yeah.”

“How long have you had these feelings?”

“A while now. Maybe a year. I know it’s… I’ve heard you can be attracted to guys and girls at the same time. Other genders, too. I dunno what that’s called, but I think I’m one of those people.”

The Visitor

Synopsis: A canon-divergent AU where Ezra's parents were never arrested and he grows up with them on Lothal. The Bridger family often takes in strangers who are part of the rebellion, and they plan on entertaining a very special visitor one evening. You can read snippets of this WIP in this tag: #fic: the visitor but here's another snippet:

[Ezra] knew something was strange when the conversation didn’t immediately launch into politics. Ezra was used to being ignored at the table when Mom and Dad had dinner guests, but that wasn’t the case this time. Quite the opposite.

“I understand you’ve taken Ezra out of school,” Kanan said.

Mira nodded and dabbed her mouth with a napkin. “Yes. We removed him in ’65 and have been homeschooling him ever since.”

“Sixty-five?”

“Sorry. We have our own calendar on Lothal. We took him out of school when he was seven.”

“I see.” Kanan glanced over at Ezra. 

Ezra, who had been staring at Kanan ever since he sat down, quickly turned his attention back to his plate. 

“I’m sure it wasn’t easy leaving all your classmates, was it?” he said, addressing Ezra directly.

Ezra shrugged.

“Not many families in the rebellion have children that are Ezra’s age,” Ephraim said.

“Yes,” Mira added, “no one thinks about bringing children into the galaxy when there’s a war going on.”

Kanan smiled. “I’m glad it didn’t stop you two.”

[naktergalen]

Rivamika Fic Suggestions List 2

Hey there again! It’s been a while since my last rivamika post and I apologies for that. I caught the reading bug and have just been hitting book after book. I might be doing a book of the month suggestion starting in March. I’m still thinking about it but if that is something your interested in let me know. Or if you just want book suggestions just message or ask me. But for now, I’m back with my second Rivamika Fic Suggestions List.

First of all, I want to thank you for all the comments and messages I received from my first list! I think it has over 150 notes now which is crazy for me. I was going to be ecstatic if it got like 10 likes or something hahaha! I’ve enjoyed talking to some of you about fics and other snk stuff. Feel free to do the same after this post! I know I take awhile to respond but swear I get there eventually.

Same rules as last time. I’ve split this list up into four categories. I wanted to let people know the status of some of these fics in case they did not want to start an incomplete or in progress story. All of these fics can be found on AO3. I’m going to try to link them but we will see how tumblr acts today. If you have any fic suggestions for me, feel free to message me with them and I can add them on to the next list. If any author sees their story on here and wants me to take it off the list, please let me know I don’t wish to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Also, last thing, I highly recommend leaving comments and kudos to the authors. I know that they greatly appreciate it and it helps them with improving their writing through feedback. Okay shutting up now, ON WITH THE LIST!

DISCLAIMER: I know that not all of these stories are not for everyone, these are just my opinions and suggestions.

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Completed:

- Thunder Clouds

Author: K_Lionheart

Rating: Mature

Sometimes I like to go to the very back of the Rivamika archive on AO3 and look for fics that have gotten buried over time. Low and behold what I have found lol! I enjoyed the emotional roller coaster when I was reading this fic, though sometimes I wanted to pull my hair out. Set after the titans are gone, humanity has to repopulate so arranged couples by the monarch are made to be wed. While this new order is being enforced, Mikasa and Levi are trying to work out their strained relationship. A slow burn with angst that will have you staying up till 3am dying to know what happens next. I know that there is a sequel to this fic called Nimbus and I’m slowly working my way through that one. Honestly, it will probably go on my next list.

- Red is the Only Colour

Author: mongoose_bite

Rating: Mature

A cute fic that was a quick but wild ride. A Little Red Riding Hood type of AU where Mikasa is a hunter of some sorts traveling through a town. I don’t want to say how Levi plays into all of this since it gets border line spoilers but just know that he is there. It is an opening ending fic for the author to come back if they plan on doing so but it can be interpreted in different ways. All in all, a fic worth of the quick read.

- Sing Me a Song

Author: LazyTrash

Rating: Mature

First I have to get this off my chest, I love the author’s name hahaha! I freakin wished I would have thought of that for mine! Anyway, this fic is wonderful but I will warn you that its a gut punch. If you like hurt and angst put together, then this is the story for you. I love these types of fics because I adore them so much but they hurt me in my soul. I don’t know what that says about me but whatever. I don’t want to delve into the story too much for spoilers but I would suggest rivamika fans to check this one out.

- Midnight Musings

Author: Raewyll

Rating: Teen

I just started to read Raewyll’s fics so I’m slowly working my way through all her works. This one caught my eye and I had to read it. This is a cute take on a chance meeting through texting the wrong number. I love the way Levi and Mikasa’s relationship blossoms into something more serious after causally texting back and forth. It’s one of those stories that I can only describe as being cute as shit! I’m definitely going to be checking out more of Raewyll’s fic in the future.

Ongoing:

- Beyond the Walls

Author: helena3190

Rating: Matue

If you love RIvamika angst, then look no further than this baby right here. This is currently my favorite ongoing fic. It was supposed to be a shorter story, but the author keeps adding more chapters so I’m not complaining hahaha! This fic is pretty much how I would *personally* picture canon Mikasa on how she would deal with realizing that she’s falling in love with someone. Its mostly told in the perspective of Mikasa as she is dealing with the after effects of war and trying to figure out what should she do with her life now that she is no longer a solider. Her feeling for Levi come with a lot of confusion as she’s discovering emotions that she has never felt before. She has a hard time pinpointing on what exactly describes her relationship with him. I’m anxiously waiting for the final chapter for this fic and dying to see how it will end for Mikasa and Levi.

- After the War

Author: loneackerman

Rating: Mature

I am loving this rivamika slow burn fic right here. Its similar to Beyond the Walls but I think the author adds their own taste of the 1920s into it. Set after the war is over (obviously), Mikasa and Levi have to figure out what they are going to do the rest of their lives. It has great tension, a perfectly paced gradual romance and just the right amount of humor to combat the emotional turmoil it puts you through. Again in my opinion, this is close to how I would realistically perceive Levi and Mikasa’s relationship evolving. I’m really enjoying this story and I’m looking forward to more updates to come!

- The Sound of Lightning

Author: LycheeGreenTea

Rating: Mature

A new fic that is just getting started but I can tell that what the author has in store is going to be interesting. Set several years after the end of the war, Levi and Mikasa are loving parents to a single child. Their peaceful life comes to an end when the family has a threat against them. There are not many long fics about Mikasa and Levi being parent so I was very happy when this one popped up on the AO3 feed. An exciting adventure awaits the Ackerman family now and I can’t wait to see where this fic goes in the future. There are three chapters as of now so head over there and check it out.

Incomplete:

- Home

Author: MissErikaCourt

Rating: Mature

One of the gems I found when diving back into the Rivamika archive. Ugh I HATE that this fic is incomplete!!! Its a good long fic but I’m greedy and I need more! I will give a warning first that this fic does contain heavy themes. Mikasa and Levi are in the underground to fight against a criminal ring. This story is a slow burn with action and emotional trauma. There is a wonderfully written OC that you easily get attached to its not even funny. Even though its not completed, I would highly recommend checking it out. I still have three more chapters to finish but I had to put it on this list. I know that I’m going to be pissed once I reach the last chapter written. If someone know MissErikaCourt, let her know that she needs to comeback to finish this masterpiece!

- Shiver

Author: bornsinner

Rating: Mature

Another one that I DISPISE its incomplete!!! Ugh such a great Office AU. It’s everything that I would want in an Office AU setting. Mikasa struggles between her committed long term relationship and her growing attraction (which starts to develop into some feelings) to her boss, Levi. Its hot, sexy and intriguing and it pisses me off that its not finished! The author writes each chapter as a one-shot but collectively together they tell the whole story. Highly recommend even though its so short. BORNSINNER where ever you are in the universe I hope you come back to finish this!!!

- Two Lines

Author: Crejhov

Rating: Mature

When this was getting updated it was my favorite on-going Rivamika fic. I would find myself checking to see if the author updated with a new chapter every week! The unplanned pregnancy trope is a classic one, but Crejhov does a fantastic job on keeping readers enthralled with soo many anticipated character meet up that are bound to cause hurdles for our expecting parents. This story is told from the perspectives of Mikasa and Levi in order for us to understand where their mindsets are as they plan for their expecting child and deal with their relationship. AHHHHH I want more of this!!! I was soo excited to see where this awkward journey was going to take Mikasa and Levi. CREJHOV COME BACK PLEASE I KNOW YOU HAVE WORK BUT PLEAAASEEEE! I NEEEEEEDDDD!!!

- Cabin Fever

Author: AmayaOkami

Rating: Mature

All I should have to say about this is that its written by AmayaOkami and that should explain it. Amaya is the one that gave us the beautiful incomplete rivamika fic Romance and Rivalry. I just adore her writing. Levi and Mikasa relationship evolves as they are standing guard over the arrested Kenny Ackerman. Secrets are discover about the Ackermans and it gets pretty steamy between our two favs. Great fluff and great sexual tension that leaves you wanting more chapters! Again AmayaOkami where ever you went I hope for some miracle that you come back and complete this one too!

One-Shot:

- Jade

Author: shulkie

Rating: Mature

This one-shot feels like I read a novel, it has such a great storyline. An arranged marriage between Mikasa and Levi leaves the relationship strained in the beginning. Their relationship evolves over time as Levi patiently brings down Mikasa’s wall. With smut added for all of your one-shot needs. Definitely worth the read in my opinion.

- What Remains

Author: Mirime

Rating: Mature

This one-shot gives us a glimpse into the secret relationship that Levi and Mikasa have been having while there are still scouts. This fic is sad but I would say it has a bittersweet ending. I think this was supposed to be part of a collection but I can’t find the rest of them. Still a great read by itself.

- Agape

Author: alienheartattack (Sanneke)

Rating: Mature

This fic is cute as shit! A College AU where Mikasa and Levi are childhood friends. Levi has to deal with Mikasa being at the same college as him while he is struggling with his changing feelings towards a grown up Mikasa. Worth the read as I said cute as shit, leaves you all warm and fuzzy lol!

- As Seen in Shadows

Author: MoraLeeWright

Rating: Explicit

FUCKING MORA! LEE! WRIGHT! UFFFFGGHHH Fuck I’m in love with her writing style. I really have nothing to say more that just go read it! Its hot and sexy and the sexual tension is off the fucking charts in this one. Its just MoraLeeWright smut thats all I can say. It’s great! JUST READ IT LMAO!

- Remedy

Author: NSummer

Rating: Mature

Another hot smut one-shot coming your way! Levi and Mikasa have had an ongoing affair and this just recounts their first time together. Its just some good ol’ Rivamika smut that I think that everyone in this community would enjoy.

- Nutty: Drunk in Love

Author: Hallow17

Rating: Mature

A fun smut to read about Mikasa getting “revenge” on her asshole boss, Levi. Things don’t go the way she plans as things get a little heated in the sexy way. A quick smut that I think is perfect for a little Rivamika crave.

- Spicy: Jalapeno

Author: Hallow17

Rating: Explicit

Another fun smut to read by Hallow17. Levi has been stressed out at work and Mikasa finds a way to help him get his mind off it (if you know what i mean). Again perfect for a Rivamika quick fix.

[taggerbug]

Krel Fic Rec List, Pt. 1

I’ve been kicking around the idea of making a Krel-centric fic recommendation list for a while, but only just got around to it. Whoops!  Just as a disclaimer, I won’t be able to fit every Krel fic in here, so there might be a part two, depending on if I have time.

Fics that are not bold are complete. Fics that are bold are in progress.

-- Longfic, Plot Heavy --

Wizards: The Ones Who Stayed by AkozuHeiwa - Rated T - 137k

Where do I start? This is a pre-Wizards sequel to 3Below, featuring Krel, Steve, Seamus, most of the central cast, and some truly incredible original characters as they contend with existential threats based on Arthurian lore and a side of Gaylen’s Core theory. There’s strong themes of whump and hurt/comfort, threaded between well-crafted plot threads that meet in a devastating conclusion. Ako is an amazing writer and their effort really shines through here.

Legacies by AkozuHeiwa - Rated M - 20k (so far)

Yes, there is a sequel to Wizards: The Ones Who Stayed (Wizfic for short), and it’s being posted on a weekly basis right now!! Legacies has only just started, and it’s already intriguing - so much so that I took three pages of paper notes on the latest chapter to aid in my theorizing. Krel’s back, along with Toby, Douxie, Steve, and a few of the OCs from Wizfic in a story that’s got so much angst already that I’m almost afraid to find out what happens next. 

As Above, So Below by Taggerbug - Rated T - 40k (so far)

Yeah, this is mine! It’s inspired by Danny Phantom fic and is full of angst, speculative biology, and ethical dilemmas. I felt weird writing a review since I know what happens next, so here's a summary from Ako:

“ AASB is an in-progress multi-chapter fic full of angst and intrigue. The suspense through each chapter keeps you on the edge of your seat, and it looks like it's going exciting places with an interconnected plot and mysterious enemies and compelling OCs. Krel's plot in particular looks extremely angsty and exciting, so definitely check it out!” - AkozuHeiwa

Base II by just_another_author01 - Rated T - 15k (so far)

Now this is a real find. Krel is arrested by a military research base, where he encounters other aliens and some suspiciously sympathetic staff. There are several well-written original characters and some very intriguing worldbuilding. Definitely worth getting into before it updates!!

Odin’s Eye by AzTheDragon - Rated G - 14k (so far)

I don’t usually read HTTYD fic, but this crossover caught my eye because Krel and Jim aren’t often written together. It starts with some unexpected time travel and suspenseful unnamed monsters, and the mystery only grows from there. I’m very much looking forward to seeing where this one is going!

Ricochet by Depreshroom - Rated T - 6k (so far)

A post-Wizards whump and hurt/comfort fic that places Krel at a crossroads with the Arcane Order and his friends, with hints of Krel’s connection to Gaylen. Calamity occurs, and Jim and his friends have to find a way to solve it. This fic is just getting started, but shows a lot of promise.

stay up, like a good fight by Euphoriette - Rated G - 9k (so far)

After the events of Wizards, yet another apocalypse descends on Arcadia, with Krel at the center of it. He’s being pursued by Akiridion zealots who are determined to capture him by any means possible, resulting in angst and heartbreak. I’m looking forward to getting my heart ripped out in future chapters for sure!

-- Ships --

The Limit Does Not Exist by PurpleRose244​ - Rated G - 178k - Space Camp

This is a must-read for space campers, a completed longfic that has it all - angst, hurt/comfort, four-armed hugs! It’s mostly canon compliant to 3Below but with more focus and development on space camp. It’s pretty long, but ends with a satisfying conclusion

Somos Algo by jetblock - Rated T - 22k (so far) - Space Camp

A space camp canon divergence, focusing on a summer in which Krel is trying his best to fix the Mothership while Seamus deals with being held back from the space program by his father. Slow burn ensues.

Win First, Think Later by Lobel - Rated T - 17k (so far) - Space Camp

After Krel is left behind in Arcadia, he looks forward to finally getting to spend time with his friends. However, he still has to confront - however unwillingly - the aftermath of fighting Morando and losing his parents. Even worse, he hasn’t adjusted to living as a human as much as he’d like to believe.

The View From The Sky by AkozuHeiwa - Rated G - 2k - Hammerhack

A fluffy one-shot of my favorite gaymers (Toby and Krel) who get dragged to a ski resort by Aja and Jim. It’s so sweet it makes me blush!!

California Friends by spideyfool - Rated G - 2k (so far) - Hammerhack, Starry Knight

A series of delightful one-shots with various rarepairs.

-- Gen. One-Shots --

Bitter Water by spideyfool - Rated T - 5k 

This one-shot is a really interesting take on Krel’s relationship with Aja and his dead parents, and features some vivid body horror - so be sure to read the tags! Some excellent hurt/comfort, and Starry Knight (Krel x Jim) if you squint.

Press Restart by spideyfool - Rated G - 1k

An extremely interesting character study of Krel, consisting of snippets set throughout 3Below. Very introspective and thoughtful.

And these dark roads aren’t so lonely by YellowMagicalGirl - Rated G - 1k

An ominous one-shot exploring the concept of Krel contemplating the use of Gaylen’s Core and dark magic to bring his parents back from the dead.

---

This list is in no way comprehensive, so feel free to add on any Krel-centric fic recs!! :)

[amikoroyaiart]

Do you have any Fox ships/what’s your thoughts on popular Fox ships?

I knew someone will ask me about this at some point 😂

I think I like most of the ships I saw on Fox tag on ao3 (like, for real I think I've read 80% of what is there hahahha) but so far I've noticed the two most popular ships are Vox and Foxiyo.

Vox is a really funny ship and I can totally see this with Vos being arrested by corries all the time and there is also this fact that corries don't have a jedi general so it would work well! I think I prefer them more as friends (I just still didn't recover from dark disciple, I really liked Vos and Ventress there) but I do enjoy reading about them sometimes (my fav fic 'Commander Fox is completely fine' has them as ship and I adore their relationship there).

Foxiyo is such a cute couple too! I remember devouring @amukmuk 's fic Perception during weekend and I really loved them there! (I also reccomend seeing other fics♡). Again I think they would work well together and I do like them as friends too! Also, CHUCHI IS SO PRETTY OMG!

I also ship Fox with my own character Amaya that I already talked about because when I cannot sleep my mind likes to came up with various stories and just one day it went 'what if Fox had someone who is just a normal civilian' and then the story developed more in my mind every time I couldn't sleep😳

So yeah I am super open to all Fox ships, I also like the headcanons that he is ace.

Hope this explains a lot ;)

[zet-sway]

@the-wip-project day 35:

I don't know what today's question is but I gotta write a wall of text about what happened last night because holy shit

I was on the verge of falling asleep and, like I usually do, I decided to hunt for some spicy fanfics to read on my phone. I found one.

All my posts are long but this one is real fucking long. CW for touching on dub-con and injury mentioned in the type of context it probably shouldn't be.

It's time for me to admit that not only am I a oneshot writer, I'm also a oneshot reader. I am drawn to short fanfics. If I click on a chaptered fic, it's (usually) because it's rated E for smut and I'll go in with every intention of skimming it for the spicy bits. I'm not proud of this. I've avoided saying this for years because I don't want to disappoint people who work hard on their very long and well thought out chaptered stories. I have a short attention span, and I know what I want.

But anyway, last night I clicked on a fic with 5 chapters and some amount of words, around 30k? Long, by my standards, but I was tired and I just wanted something to read while I dozed off.

This particular fic hooked me in, though. I still skimmed it, but the writing was so unique in a way that made me writhe with writer's envy and admiration. Whoever wrote this had their own language - nothing borrowed - their own vision.

I guess I should tell the good people who read my posts (ya'll, seriously, thank you) that the fic in topic is called Fault Lines by Recidiva on AO3. I would link to it but uhhhh I may be using my work PC for "extracurricular purposes" right this moment ^^; so maybe when I get home I'll remember to add it.

I skimmed it - like I said above - for the spicy parts. It generally follows the plot of Bioware's canon. Thane begins as possessive and manipulative, likely uncomfortably close to dub-con for a lot of people. He kisses her and knows full well that his kiss will make her willing but intoxicated, and how he will use that to fulfil himself. But as the story progresses, he falls in love. Their relationship is what I'll call "edgy." Both of them are renegades. There's a scene where they get down in the shuttle after a fight and they're both still injured and it borders on downright unrealistic but fuck it, it's fanfic and I bought it. However their relationship develops a certain heart-wrenching tenderness. She asks him what Siha means over and over again, and eventually tells him she thinks "bitch" when he says it. But in that moment they have a playful banter, he knows full well she's probably already looked it up on the extranet, and they fall into bed together. The smut is mind-boggling.

By the time it gets to Shepard's arrest, he's taken up a place on Earth and visits her, breaks into her house arrest. There's a scene where they see each other for the first time in a while, she tells him how much she's missed his mouth and how it's not right how bad she wants him, and wants him bad enough to smother him with affection. She says something to the effect of "if you're looking to die, I'd volunteer to be the cause," implying that her lust is powerful enough to endanger his life. And it was at this moment I realized I fucked up.

It's established that I live in my own headcanon and I'm not burdened with considering the end of Thane's life as part of my fics. And the suspension of disbelief was such that I forgot he doesn't make it. So at this moment in the fic, chapter 4 out of 5, I realized "Oh shit this isn't going to have a happy ending." I skipped to the end right away, I wanted to confirm my fears.

In their final exchange, she asks him to lie to her - something that's repeated in other chapters of the story. I forget what he says, I was reading desperately, but he asks her in return to tell him something true. She kisses him and tells him she loves him, and he breathes his last breath with the lingering tingle of their kiss to carry him to the other side.

I was so entrenched in the depth of their relationship up to that point. The level of fathomless love the author conveyed, unlike anything I've ever managed to write before, but more realistic to my own understanding of love as I've experienced it. Not because they're renegades, but just the selflessness with which they feel, communicate, banter, and make love.

When I read that last paragraph, something inside me broke. That sounds dramatic but that's honestly how I would describe it. It felt like waking up from a night terror, when you bolt up in bed from a dream so bad you immediately get up even if it's 4am because nothing feels real and you're so terrified you have to get up and do something - literally anything to take your mind off it, to ease you back into reality. I put my phone down and stared into the darkness of my bedroom and told myself "it's just a fanfic, no need to get upset." And then I started to cry and I didn't stop for 30 minutes.

My husband was downstairs watching Bohemian Rhapsody and I went down there and wrapped myself around him so tight and cried. Bless this man, from the bottom of my heart - bless him - for his unfathomable kindness. I felt like a fucking fool because I was crying over fanfiction but he paused his movie and just listened while I tried to articulate how it wasn't exactly about the character death, or the characters at all, it was just the writing and how it wormed into my brain so convincingly. I felt the loss like it was my own loss. I am terrified of losing my husband. So many feelings coalesced and I realized one day I may be in that situation, kissing the man I love goodbye for the last time, never to hold him again. I'm at work right now and I'm tearing up because it's so hard.

I tip my hat to the author, but I genuinely wished I hadn't read that fanfic. And isn't it kind of funny after that grandstand I took yesterday about not wanting to write the pain of loss and grief, that I ended up reading it instead and probably fucking myself up just as badly, if not worse, than if I had tried to write it myself?

It gets worse, too. Because it got me thinking about my own writing, and how I could never hope to achieve what that author did. So I sat there crying out my painfeelings while simultaneously feeling like a shit writer and like nothing I put out matters. I got up from the couch, sat down at my PC and picked up where I left off in the Omega DLC in ME3 because video games are great for taking the mind off things. It didn't exactly help with the intensity I'd hoped for, but I managed to fall asleep, by 3am.

Fast forward to this morning. I dragged my sorry ass out of bed 4 hours later and drove to work. By some fucking miracle, no one is here right now except our field director. And I'm stewing in how this one fic really fucked me up bad, reconsidering everything. I feel like I've been put in my place.

So what changed?

Yesterday I posted about how I'm struggling to write a plotline. I know what happens, but I'm not interested in the little bits that tie it together. I want to write the romance. I think there's a way to write the plot and the romance at the same time, but it's damn hard.

I started doing this because I wanted to grow my skills as a writer, and I knew it might be more than I could chew. I'm at that moment now where I'm about ready to give up.

Even if I felt like a shit writer last night (and still kinda do this morning), I know that the stuff I've put out has value. We can't all write these epically tragic smut-romance-renegades-to-lovers tales, we'd all be sad all the damn time. There's a time and a place and - I would argue - even a need for lighterhearted fic out there. There are really no rules. I'm confident in what I know how to do.

But the plot. Fuck it, man. I think maybe I'm trying too hard to be something I'm not. I'm trying really hard to write like other people. I may have mentioned before that I saw a post about how many artists spend their time pining for the skills of others, thinking "wow, when I can draw like that, I'll have made it as an artist." That same post cautioned against this, basically saying you already have your own unique style, it's just harder to see through the lens of your own eyeballs. It's fine to challenge yourself but try to acknowledge what you do that sets you apart already. I feel like I have that something - maybe not to the extent that I wish, but I have something.

So what's the point of the plot? Why do I need to tell my readers how I cured Keprals? I'm asking myself important questions here. I like to think I've come up with ideas that no one else has, but as I said above, I don't read a lot of chaptered fics. I very well may have come to the same ideas as other writers and I'm not even aware of it. I don't know if my ideas are unique but I still arrived at them all by myself.

The challenge here - the thing I'm struggling so much with - is how to put them together with the same elegance of my fellow writers. I'm looking at you, shrios fam (yeah I'm calling you that, yall know who you are). I know I can write words, but it's like I have a bunch of pieces from completely different jigsaw puzzles and I'm struggling to make a new picture out of them. I struggle with the transitions between them.

The point here is I have to find my own way. And I have to stop taking myself so seriously. In fact this level of "seriousness" is one of the things that got me into so much angst over World of Warcraft over the last two years. At least I know how to recognize it.

I have to find my own way. I have my own things that are worth sharing. The author I read last night had a language all their own, and I have a language all my own too. Their wordplay was actually more choppy than I would ever write. I've talked before about how I'm scared of starting too many sentences with pronouns, how I maybe write too many run-on sentences, whatever. This author did that with reckless abandon. It worked for them. So if they can make that shit work, I can make my own shit work.

I have to find my own way.

My most current WIP is Thane and Shepard's first time. I've been working on it pretty nonchalantly because I hadn't intended to publish it until I built up to it. It takes place further into my timeline, and it would probably ruin the point of a slow burn if I put it out there now. There are some really memorably moments in this WIP, and there are other moments that need to be smoothed over as well. I never knew what I'd really imagined for their first time but I think I've mostly developed something that's unique in its own right, and I think will be fun for people to read.

I'm just so fucking torn over what to do with it. I feel guilty for working on it. I should be writing "other shit" leading up to it but I don't fucking want to. I actually wrote probably 2-3k words this weekend, which is a pretty staggering amount by my standards. Some of it was for this smutty WIP and some was for something I just threw together, Thane observing Shepard on Horizon and the emotional toll it takes on her. He's seeing her humanity. I don't know if it's worth it to continue but I wrote a lot of it and the words are more precise than usual for a draft, I don't know. I have so much fucking insecurity. Fuck dude. I want to write this longfic, but I don't want to write it. I want to skim to the spicy bits like I always do.

I am wracked with insecurity, of my own making. I know what I can do but I feel compelled to see this idea through. Somehow I have to find my own way.

TLDR I feel like if I don't publish something soon I'm going to burst and I don't even know what the fuck to work on first and fjslfjsojoiejrj

I would be really down for, like, a bunch of hugs and a bowl of ice cream shared over memes and fanservice.