#i’ve been on the verge of tears for like 2 weeks
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#i’m on. the verge of tears#someone i really love who i thought was one of my best friends accidentally showed me a text to SOMEONE ELSE that said#“[bee] hating hours again” and i. cant breathe i can’t breathe#they go through cycles of affection & one of the first things they ever told me was that they “used to hate me” for no reason. like they#said there was no reason. we’ve had SLEEPOVERS and CLASSES where they’ve spent ages telling me about their grievances with other peoplea#and why they have them. and in the back of my head the whole time there was a little voice saying “if they talk about other people like#this with you then they probably talk about you like this with other people” and i DISMISSED THAT#because i thought i KNEW I COULD TELL when they were being fake!!!! and i could!!!!!! but in the past like 2 weeks they just stopped#talking to me!!!! i’ve been going over everything and nothing happened!!!!!! my chest feels like fucking lava i cant breathe!!!!!!!!!#i thought we were FRIENDS they tell me they love me ALL THE TIME#& now i can’t help but think like. shit. if this is the case with them then what’s to stop everybody i love from silently feeling this way#and just. leaving me out of the loop about it. i cant breathe
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hihi! i saw your requests open, so could i request soap, gaz, and ghost (separate) trying to deescalate the reader who's been crying and on the verge of a panic attack because the work stress has been getting to them.
if that's too many characters, feel free to choose one of the three!
apologies for the sad scenario. i had a rough week (´;ω;`)
first off, im so sorry you’ve had a rough week, know that it’ll get better dude! confide in someone you trust if possible, you’re going to be ok 🫶🏻 - comments are appreciated <3
Soap
he walks into you at your desk, sitting in your chair with your arms wrapped around your legs while tears are streaming down your face. his smile immediately turns into a frown, and he walks over to you.
“oh no sunshine, what happened to ya?” he pets your head a bit and tilts your chin up toward to face him.
“it’s just been so hard soap, im trying my best every single day and yet it keeps piling up. i finish one thing and i’m already handed 4 more, i can’t do it- i can’t!” your chest starts picking up fast and you feel your breathing become shortened.
“woah woah, easy there lass you’re gonna overwhelm your system. take some deep breaths with me yeah?” he grabs your hand and puts it on his heart so you can feel his heart beat, “breathe in, 1-2-3-4. hold. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7, out for 8 alright?”
you repeat that pattern with his help about 6 more times and you start to feel less tense.
“relax, im right here with you. ease your shoulders, relax your neck and unscrunch yer eyebrows.” you follow the steps and he smiles, “that feel a little better hm?”
you nod and he takes you into his arms. he grabs his phone from his back pocket, dialing a number. you hear the ringing and when you hear the name of your favorite restaurant in the greeting you beam up a bit
“can i get uh one cheeseburger - no onions! and eh… let me have a diet coke with it would ya? thanks mate” he covers the phone with his free hand, “you want the usual?” you nod and he orders your usual order. “let me also get one of those ah.. what do ya call em?” he snaps his fingers “those ice cream sundaes, yeah extra whipped cream! that’ll be all.”
“should be here in about 15 or so bonnie, ya feelin a bit better?”
you nod and he sighs in relief, “you need a break, im callin yer boss tomorrow mornin - who cares if i’ve got to lie you’re getting a week off and we’re spendin it together! no work, we can even get out of here if you want.”
“i can’t just leave work like that johnny-“
“ah ah! nonsense, i’ll make it happen.”
you don’t protest against him but rather just accept it and wait for your food to arrive with him.
Gaz
“hey love! what’s u- oh no..” he stops in his tracks and finally hears your crying and heavy breathing.
he quickly moves to where you are and wraps his arms around you - squeezing a bit and pulling you in. the scent of his cologne helps your mind start to slow down.
“easy now, what’s wrong?” he pulls back and searches your face for an answer.
you look down and explain how work has been stressing you out, “i’m so tired gaz, i work all the time without any breaks and it seems like my efforts get me no where. i don’t even feel like i can stop because anytime that i do it just racks up. i know you work a lot and never complain ,i shouldn’t even be making this scene.”
“hey hey… none of that, yeah?” he boops your nose lightly and you smile a bit which makes him smile also, “there’s my sweetheart, cmere. just because i work a lot doesn’t mean you don’t too love, and i want you to know we don’t ever have to compare ourselves - we both have challenges.” you nod your head and he nods back.
- “how about you take the rest of this week off? i know your boss wouldn’t bother letting you go - you’re her best worker! call in tomorrow and we can focus on you.”
(or, alternatively if you’re a student! :>)
- “how about this week you just go in tomorrow, then take the rest of the week off. i know you’ll have to email your profs but your health comes first - yes even mentally. you’re a hard worker and you’ll be able to catch up before winter break love - but what i’m seeing now? you’re going to burn out if you don’t take this break.”
you listen to him and take the break, spending some days alone with him and he even messages his captain that he’s got to keep his eye on you.
“cap sends his best love, we all care about you.”
Simon/Ghost
unlike the other guys, ghost catches on quickly that you’ve been feeling upset. as someone who has his own internal battles, he recognizes easily when someone is fighting theirs. in fact, the night before he sees you rub your temples in frustration before slamming your laptop shut, he doesn’t have a huge reaction because he doesn’t want you to feel embarrassed or upset - instead he minds his business and waits for you to be ready.
although, when the next day rolls by he sees you on the verge of a panic when your whole assignment/document completely vanishes after hours of work. at this point you’re bawling your eyes out and he can hear from his office so he quickly gets up to check on you.
“you alright in here?” he asks, keeping a bit of distance not wanting to intrude on you even though you’ve told him before that he isn’t pushing your boundaries, he prefers to tread lightly and respect your space.
you explain to him what’s happened, or what’s been happening for that matter. not only did your work just vanish out of thin air on your laptop, the workload you’ve received has been insufferable.
you’re the one who initiates seeking him out and that’s when he fully goes to you with a warm embrace, hand on the back of your head holding you softly. “it’ll be alright, i’ll ask one of the guys to help you get that work back love.”
“i’ve been feeling terrible simon, i know i don’t say anything but i think i might just explode - or i kinda have.. haven’t i.” he chuckles a bit and sighs, “i noticed but i didn’t want to make you upset by bringing it up. you’ve gotta be easier on yourself, you do a lot and even though you might not have all your work done by tomorrow you need to take a break for your well being. not for me, for you. promise me a you’ll take a break?”
you nod, “good. i’m glad you’re listening to me for once.”
“hey i do listen to you! when i want to!” you say with a sniffle.
he laughs and holds you a bit tighter, he won’t let you go through this alone. you’re gonna spend the next few days just with him - relaxing till you’re feeling better.
-
I HOPE THIS IS ALRIGHT! thank you so much for the first ask <3 im not like a writer of any sorts but i did try :) i hope you enjoy 🫶🏻
#soap mactavish#john soap mactavish#john soap mactavish x reader#soap mactavish x reader#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz kyle garrick#ghost simon riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#task force 141 x reader#task force 141#cod#cod mw3
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❊ never alone ❊
TW: mentions and alludes to mild to severe depression, descriptions of physical signs of an eating disorder, allusions of an eating disorder, talks about nightmares, and panic attacks are mentioned
You have the sweetest soul there is. You are so mindful of how I’m feeling and always asking if there’s anything you can do for me or if I’m okay. Usually I find this annoying because the answer almost every time is no, every day is a struggle for me, every day is the same. But I’ll never get annoyed hearing you ask because you care so much and would take my problems in a heartbeat if you could. You’re my medicine. You radiate this comforting and healing energy that is slowly healing all my wounds.
The wounds you have started healing in me are beginning to open back up. I’ve moved 2 hours away for school, 2 hours away from you and anyone I know. I’ve gotten to the worst place I’ve ever been mentally, and it’s noticeable physically. Whether you say it or not during our facetime calls, you noticed everything. You noticed how much weight I had lost, that I was merely just a skeleton. You checked in on me occasionally but never brought up the change in my appearance, not entirely sure how to approach that. I don’t think I realized just how bad it had gotten. When you deal with something every day for so long, it becomes a new normal for you. It makes you blind to the things around you.
I had tremors 24/7, graphic vivid nightmares that I can still see when I close my eyes, permanently scarred in my mind. I could barely sleep because I was so afraid of the nightmares. I’d start my days with a shower hoping it would add a little pep in my step but that was always unsuccessful. Putting my music on, I’d turn the water to scolding hot and just think about how I couldn’t stand every day being the same, it was a never ending nightmare. From the moment I woke up to the moment I fell asleep I would cry and cry until I cried myself into a panic attack to the point of not being able to breathe. I didn’t recognize the face staring back at me in the mirror, it was as if I was a ghost watching myself bleakly trying to survive. Food was impossible. Everything tastes different. Barely able to get a snack down, I was on a fine line between life and death, and no one seemed to notice. All I needed was for one person to realize I was barely able to keep my head above the water and no one did. I was desperately and silently pleading for help.
Waking up everyday and knowing exactly what will happen, as it’s been like this for weeks, knowing there’s nothing you can do to make it stop, knowing you are merely just an empty vessel of a skeleton leads me to think of only one option. To think those thoughts weighs so heavily on my mind it will forever haunt me. I’m laying in bed, crying so hard I’m on the verge of a panic attack, I hear a knock on the door. Waiting to see if my roommate will answer the door, the knocking stops, must have been for her. I’m sucked back into my thoughts and tears, clawing at my chest desperately gasping for a breath when I’m interrupted by a knock. I freeze, confused as to who would be knocking on my door. I crawl my way out of bed, bringing the blanket that’s wrapped around my shoulders with me. With a heavy sigh I opened the door not really wanting to see anyone. I was in shock, you were the last person I thought would be at my door but the one person I needed.
“You gonna say hi or just stare at me?” You ask with a smirk on your face.
I attack you in a hug, causing you to stumble backwards. My blanket covered body engulfs your torso as you wrap your arms around my shoulders and back comfortingly rubbing them. I refuse to let go because this is the one thing I’ve been needing so badly and I’m afraid if I let go it’ll all disappear. One thing I love about you is that you won’t let go of a hug until the other person does first, so we stay hugging each other in my doorway like our lives depend on it. Pressing a sweet kiss to the top of my head, you briefly pull away from the hug to wrap your arms around my torso, lifting me off the ground. I move my blanketed arms to wrap around your neck, burying my face in the crook of your shoulder and neck. I can’t help but let the tears continue to fall, wetting your neck.
“Oh sweetheart, I’m here it’s okay, let it out I’ve got you” you coo into my ear, resting your head against mine. You walk to my bed with our bodies still clinging to each other. Placing yourself under my covers with my body laying partly on yours, holding on to you for dear life. You reach up to remove the blanket that’s been hiding my body.
“You’ll be too warm honey, you gotta take the blanket off” you say.
I release my grip on the blanket letting you put it to the side, covering me with my bedding. Now that my blanket is gone my body is revealed. You can see and feel just how much I’ve been struggling. A tear slips your eye as you quickly wipe it.
“I see you sweet girl, I see that you’re not okay, I’m here to help” you whisper in the sweetest voice, rubbing my back soothingly.
That’s what I’ve been needing to hear, to know that somebody sees I’m not okay and is willing to help. Cuddling into your side, you delicately trace your fingers along my back. You can feel the tremors that have taken over my muscles. You knew I had hard days but weren't aware they got this bad. I didn’t know what was happening to me and I was scared. Seeing me in this fragile, vulnerable state breaks your heart. Your gentle tracing on my back is lulling me into a much needed nap.
“You’re not alone now sweetheart, I’m here I’ve got you. We’ll get through this together” you whisper in my ear as I drift off into sleep.
You stay awake and watch me for a while to make sure I don’t need anything. Your eyes graze my face watching as it contorts and slightly reacts to the nightmares. You tighten your hold on me, reminding me that you’re here. You eventually drift off into sleep yourself. I’m awake at 5am, unable to go back to sleep. You’re a heavy sleeper so I know reaching over you to grab my laptop to put on a show won’t disturb you, even putting my headphones in to make sure I don’t wake you. Putting on my comfort show, I try to relax. I zoned out that I didn’t see you wake up.
“Good morning sunshine, how are you feeling today?” you say with a sleepy voice that makes my heart skip a beat.
I grumble in response and shove my face into your neck. “Nightmares, only slept till 5” I mutter into your neck.
“I’m sorry honey that’s gotta be unpleasant” You say sincerely.
We stay in bed for about an hour watching tv as your hand rubs against my back, in an attempt to soothe my body. “We should get up and get ready” You tell me. This is the hardest part of the day for me. It always feels like the most difficult thing for me to do. I stay in bed while you go to the washroom to do your business and get changed. Coming back to my room you find me sleeping. Letting me sleep for a little while longer you pick out something comfy for me to change into. You even go as far as pairing items together to make outfits for me, so it takes less effort. You tidy up my room a little just by straightening and putting things where they belong. I wake up as you're doing so and sit up in bed stretching. You hand me a hoodie and sweatpants to change into, you turn around as I change.
“Shower? Skincare? What do you want to do?” You ask.
“None, too challenging” I mutter, embarrassed that I couldn't manage basic self care.
“I can do it for you, well at least the skincare. I can stay in the room while you shower if you don't wanna be alone” you suggest. I nod knowing that I should take care of myself.
I hear you enter the bathroom and you announce that you're just on the counter. It feels easier knowing that you're here encouraging me every step of the way. I take my time and wash my hair while I'm in here, not knowing when I'll be able to manage it again. I call out to you letting you know that I'm done and I see your arm stick through the curtain holding a towel that you must've thrown in the dryer to warm it up. My heart melts at the small but meaningful gesture. Drying off in the shower I reach for my robe and put it on, stepping out to see you. You pat the counter telling me to hop up so you can begin my skincare. You know my routine by now having seen me do it plenty of times. My eyes flutter shut as your fingers delicately take care of my skin. You’re always so gentle with me it makes my heart do backflips.
Everything feels easier when I have you here. I no longer feel like I’m drowning, you keep me afloat. It’s been about a year since I’ve moved back home, it’s a long healing process and you’re here to help me every step of the way. With you by my side, I’m never alone.
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15 Lines Game
Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture their character/personality/vibe. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well.
Ty @thesingularityseries for the tag 🫶
Alora:
1. “…Are you fucking stupid?”
2. “It’s a roach, not a fucking— it flies?!” Alora yells, hand forming into a fist.
3. Rolls her eyes and makes a gun gesture to her temple. “Sure it’s not like I’ve been awake for the past 3 days cleaning up your bullshit.”
4. “Alright well, I’m gonna go hang out with Michi now.”
5. “You are seriously a fucking stain on my sanity.”
6. “Oh fuck, my tomatoes!” Alora exclaims, sprinting towards her greenhouse.
7. “Yeah okay Mr. America.” She makes a jacking off motion with her hand, rolling her eyes heavily.
8. “¡Esto es una puta mierda! ¿Estás realmente bromeando? ¡Qué demonios—“
9. “You push and push and push. Just stop! Okay? Stop trying to force me to open up!”
10. “Get the hell out of my face before I break yours.”
11. “Sure whatever, I’ve got nothing better to do.” She follows Alex and Kate, mentally preparing herself for whatever comes her way.
12. “Not that one… Alex and I got banned last week.” She says nonchalantly, looking to Alex who nods in agreement.
13. “I just wanna go home…” She’s tired, so so tired…
14. She inhales deeply, smearing the blood on her face even more. “I fucked up.”
15. “Don’t leave me… please…” She was on the verge of tears, her jaw tight and body shaking.
Kasiya:
1. “Don’t be frightened, you are safe now.” She offers a kind smile, reassuring the new soul that just appeared.
2. “Raiden! So lovely to see you! Ah and Kung Lao!” She’s momentarily flustered, quickly displaying a grin. “What brings you two here?”
3. “…Excuse me for one moment please.” She turns and quickly walks away, bristling subtly at the off handed comment made by Cetrion.
4. “Mother this is wrong— why are you doing nothing to stop it?!”
5. “You are going to get me in trouble!” She laughs, allowing Kung Lao’s fingers to intertwine with hers to pull her along.
6. “My apologies but I am bound by my duty here in the garden. Now please…”
7. “Please do not stick your hands into my fytó stámnas, that is very rude.”
8. “You are really quite different from your counterpart…” She mutters, eyeing the monk up and down.
9. “Surely my nose cannot be that interesting Kung Lao.” She muses, her eyes following his finger as he traces down its length.
10. “Why do you sit back and do nothing? Shinnok is out there running rampant and—!” She’s silenced when Cetrion suddenly appears behind her, eyes glowing like vibrant jewels and oh so full of anger.
11. “I assure you I am much older than your mind could possibly fathom.”
12. “And you are still handsome even looking like battered meat.” She laughs softly, sniffling and leaning forward to cup a hand on his cheek.
13. “Thank you for allowing me to love you.”
14. “For the last time you two— no! Now stop pestering me, I have other people to take care of.”
15. “That must be absolutely the most cheesiest pick up line you have ever used on me and I am even more surprised that it’s working.”
NP Tags: @luna-di-fuoco @malicedragoness @valyrra @theelderhazelnut
#eeeeee i had fun with this#but also struggled a little bc alora is more action than words aahahah#alora: writing#alora: tagged#Kasiya: writing#Kasiya: tagged#mk oc#thank you for the tag pookie!!!
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Jon Kent Week: Found Family
This is a little something I pounded out for #jonkentweek, prompt: Siblings. This is based on the idea that Teen Jon traveled the multiverse, not just Earth 3, and learned to be stronger. This takes place in an alternate universe and is not Tom Taylor's Jon Kent.
--Doc
Jonathan Samuel Kent pouted in the way that only 11-year-old boys could. His nostrils flared with irritation, which only served to remind him that dinner was waiting. At the stove, his father was making the last few touches on the stew while his mother tapped away at a story.
“Mom, he’s late,” Jon whined. “I’m gonna call him.” He reached for the heavily modified phone at the center of the table.
Lois raised an eyebrow as she glanced meaningfully at him. Jon retreated from the phone.
“He’s not late,” she corrected him, noting the time. “He still has ten minutes.”
“He’ll be home, Jon-o,” Clark promised. “If not, I’ll have a word with your brother’s boss.”
Jon grunted, defeated by logic. He glared at the fourth, empty seat at the table. Maybe he could somehow wish his brother to appear right now.
It was such an odd concept, having a brother. For most of his life, he’d been an only child. Then again, for most of his life, he hadn’t been aware that his father was Superman, nor did he have powers.
And then, there had been that little “roadtrip” with Grandpa Jor-El. It was supposed to have been a 2 week-long affair.
Looking back, even Kelex couldn’t figure out what had been in that black hole. One moment, he’d been skimming the surface just before the event horizon. The next, he’d been flung lightyears away, nearly colliding with Space Cabbie. He also felt like he’d been torn in half.
Low on power, he basically begged the cabbie to bring him home. He figured that he could at least get to the Fortress and send out a signal to say he was OK.
It had taken a week to get back to Earth, Space Cabbie grumbling the whole time. His onboard AI navigator kept the peace, but everyone was glad when they arrived.
The happy moment lasted until Jor-El’s ship appeared before them. A very contrite, sorrowful grandfather requested that Jon come aboard.
-----
“Jon, something happened while you were away,” Lois said. She looked like she was on the verge of tears.
“Is everything okay?” Jon asked. His parents were here, as well as his grandfather. Everyone looked unhurt.
Jor-El waved some kind of scanner up and down Jon. He frowned at the results.
“There was some unknown element in the black hole,” Jor-El began. “From what I can tell, it split you in two.”
Jon blinked. “Okay, I’ve had that happen before. Where’s the other me?”
“Right here,” came an unfamiliar voice.
Jon’s jaw dropped. Before him was…him. Well, he was an older version of Jon, though not the paunchy, middle-aged version he’d encountered before. This Jon was lean and maybe seventeen years old.
“Hey,” Teen Jon greeted him nervously. “Look, you’re probably thinking that I’m some kind of fake, a clone, a dimensional counterpart or a time traveler.”
“Yeah…” Jon agreed uneasily. “You’re not?”
Teen Jon shook his head. “Grandpa scanned me down to the subatomic level. We’re—we’re both Jon Kent. I just spent the last six years bouncing around dimensions, learning from every Superman there. For everyone else, it’s been about a week.”
Jon looked lost. His heart thudded against his chest as he looked at his mother, then his father.
“Mom? Dad?” Jon’s voice was raspy. “Am I—am I the fake?”
Lois shook her head as she knelt down and hugged him. “No,” she whispered. “You’re both mine. Both of you.”
Teen Jon and his father knelt down as well. There were whispers and mumblings that he didn’t remember, but he felt…safe.
-----
It hadn’t been easy adjusting to the new family status. There had been friction and squabbles, but nothing apocalyptic. Young Jon would keep going to Reeves-West while Teen Jon opted to transfer to Metropolis University.
More than a few favors had been called in to create “Finn Connors,” Teen Jon’s new identity. Thanks to glasses with a holographic projector, “Finn” wouldn’t need anything like a wig.
Of course, there was the matter of Teen Jon’s part-time job. He hadn’t mentioned it at the time, but the guiding force for his dimensional travels had come from the guardian of Hypertime himself—Hyperman, aka another Jon Kent. Hyperman had offered Teen Jon the opportunity to become a dimensional troubleshooter—with the caveat that it was a dire emergency, and that weekends were off-limits.
Teen Jon had agreed. The arrangement had been working out well, so far.
He had to admit, it was kind of…nice having a brother figure. Every once in a while, they’d go on patrol and take a break on a rooftop.
-----
The patrol had been fairly uneventful. There were a few robberies, a mugging or two, but it had been a fairly slow night in the city.
They sat on a rooftop overlooking Hob’s Bay. Teen Jon had bought ice cream cones for both of them. They ate in relative silence.
“What’s bugging you?” Teen Jon asked.
Young Jon didn’t look him in the eye. Teen Jon knew that tactic very well.
“I missed this, you know,” Teen Jon said. He gestured expansively to the city. “I missed Hamilton, too. Other worlds…it’s just not the same.”
“But you got stronger, right?” Young Jon asked. He still didn’t look his brother in the eye.
“I learned a lot,” Teen Jon acknowledged. “There wasn’t any version of Dad that wasn’t willing to help me out.”
There was another bit of silence. After a few minutes, they finished their cones.
“Do you think I’ll be as strong as you?” Young Jon asked. His voice was shaky and tentative.
Teen Jon shook his head. “Nope.”
Young Jon glared at him. “Really?”
Teen Jon smirked. “Really. You’ll be stronger than me.”
Young Jon blinked. “Wait. Really?”
Teen Jon nodded. “Absolutely. You won’t have to hop dimensions to learn what I know. And you’ll have Mom and Dad around, too.”
“Huh,” Young Jon grunted. “So…when can I learn that super ventriloquism thing?”
“I wouldn’t recommend learning before your voice breaks. It really strains your vocal chords before then.” Teen Jon glanced in the direction of home. “Mom’s really tapping away at the keyboard. We’d better get home while she’s in the zone.” He paused and winked. “And we never stopped for ice cream. Got it?”
Young Jon managed a smirk. “What ice cream?”
-----
“Jon.” There was no mistaking the warning in his mother’s voice.
He blinked. He looked at the slight dent in the table he’d created by tapping his finger impatiently—at super speed.
Jon chuckled nervously. “Sorry.”
Lois sighed. “Fine, you can call your brother. I’m sure he’s okay, though.”
Jon heard the slight skipping of his mother’s heartbeat. She’d been nervous, too.
He dialed the first preset in the HyperPhone. A holographic rendition of Teen Jon’s face appeared.
“Hey, Big Brother,” Jon greeted Teen Jon. “When are you coming home? Dinner’s almost ready.”
Teen Jon smiled. “I’ll be there in a little bit. The Chief had me detour to talk to someone.”
“`Big Brother?’” came a voice to the side of Teen Jon—the same voice as the dimensional troubleshooter. “You have a brother?”
“Um, yeah, it’s a long story,” Teen Jon said. Then he turned his attention back to the camera pickup. “I’ll be right there; I just have to say a few things.”
“It’s beef stew night,” Clark said. “I made extra.”
“I’ll be right there,” Teen Jon promised. Then the holographic display winked off.
Moments later, Clark and Young Jon heard the faint whine as the dimensional walls were breached. Teen Jon sped through an open window and changed into jeans and a polo in a blur. He gave his parents a hug, then ruffled Young Jon’s hair. This elicited a squawk of protest before they got settled for dinner.
“Sorry I cut it so close,” Teen Jon said over his second bowl of stew. “The Chief wanted me to talk to another version of myself who had it rough. I think he’ll be okay, but he really needs to open up and maybe get some non-super friends.”
“I’m sure he’ll be fine as long as he talks it out,” Clark said. “Which reminds me…your therapist called. He wanted to make sure you were still good for Monday.”
“I should be,” Teen Jon confirmed. “I don’t think the universe is going to end on Monday,” he joked.
“Isn’t your Journalism project due this Monday?” Lois reminded him. “Jane called and asked ‘Finn’ if he’d done his part.”
Teen Jon’s eyes widened. There seemed to be a palpable aura of dread surrounding him.
“Is that a ‘project isn’t done’ dread or ‘talking to Jane’ kind of dread?” Clark asked.
Teen Jon squirmed a little. “Not so much the first, but more of the second,” he admitted. “We broke up because I saw a lot of red flags.”
Lois leaned forward. “I get it. It’s kind of hard to talk to the ex, but at least you’re trying to get along.”
Teen Jon rolled his eyes. “It’s trying all right, Mom.” Then he diverted his attention to his little brother. “Learn from my mistakes, little brother. Exes are not to be trifled with.”
Young Jon shrugged. “I dunno about that. I haven’t had one yet.”
Teen Jon affected an expression of doom. “Yet,” he said dramatically.
The table broke out in laughter. Thankfully, nobody had snorted stew out of their noses.
Young Jon just smiled. It had taken a lot of work on everyone’s part to get to this new status quo. They lived a crazy life, but moments like this were worth it. It was good to have a brother.
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the new headmistress pt 2
TW: swearing, please let me know if there’s more
y/n’s POV
I wake up. There's a week till school starts again. I decide to go and have a shower getting ready for the day. I then head to the dinning hall for breakfast after putting on a suit and some light makeup. I grab an apple once I’d entered the dinning hall sitting down with the rest of the teachers who were at the table as I wait for Rissa and Nora to arrive. After waiting for a few minutes they both arrive.
“Morning, how are you both this morning?”
“Good and you?” Clarissa asks
“Fine,” Lesso responds
“I’m doing good would I be able to talk to the both of you after breakfast?”
“Of course,” Dovey says Lesso just nods.
We walk to Clarissa’s classroom since it was closer we sit down.
“Ok Clarissa, I’ve been thinking about what you said yesterday, and I’ve come up with a solution, but I want both of your opinions on the two options on the table.”
“Well y/n I really don’t mind you’ll be making the most decisions because you’re the balance,” Rissa says.
“I don’t care,” Lesso says bored.
“Well then my solution is this… we can try all three of us but if it doesn’t work out or there’s too many arguments and fights we got to just me.” dovey and lesso just look at each other.
“Works for us,” Dovey says.
“Great, let’s keep this between us for now,”
“Sure,”
~~~~~
After a while Lesso and I leave to prepare for classes. My castle has finally been finished, and we decided that we’d have an office for the three of us so we can have our dean meetings in one place in the middle.
~
It’s been three days since we decided that the three of us would be headmistress of the school but so far dovey and lesso have been at each others throats and lesso making me feel more like shit than I have previously. I am fed up. I only wish that we could go back to our childhood when we were really good friends. I’m going to tell them that I’m done, and it’s not working and that I’m the new headmistress.
~~
Sitting in a meeting with the two of them I’m once again on the verge of tears due to the constant arguing throughout this stupid meeting.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!!” I yell fed up about to cry. “THAT’S ENOUGH!” they both shut up instantly. “I’m fed up with this constant arguing between us, I have been hoping and praying that we could fix this friendship, but I can’t keep dealing with this, I’m done, I am now the only headmistress, I warned you last time, you will listen to me when I say something and do exactly what I say when I say it. You’re both on very thin ice, congratulations you’ve both been demoted this will be announced tomorrow morning at breakfast with the rest of the staff.” I say as a few tears fall down my face as I stand up to leave the office.
“I understand,” Rissa says softly looking at me with a sad smile.
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Who wants to be salty with me?
Anyways, so I went to my first day of class today (I have no fucking idea why they started the week on Thursday?) which was,,, terrifying. there were so many people, despite the professor’s assurances the coursework looked terrifying (mandatory coding class, I’m shit with computers), and I just kept thinking “I don’t belong here, I’m not smart enough”
Honestly spent the entire lecture on the verge of tears
But I made it through!! Treated myself to some food afterwards, I’m sure it’s just the first day jitters
Anyways, that wasn’t the salt stuff, just some updates about my day
The salt stuff is that the professor made a discord (never had a prof make it, it’s always been student created ones), and it’s only got 3 channels and one of those channels is for pet pics, apparently the professor found that it helps students deal with stress, and tbh I’ve really been enjoying it, there’s so many cute pets!!
But one dude decided to write that he didn’t have any pets so here’s a pic of him in his apartment and then just posted a selfie in it????
I don’t like it, it reads one of three ways to me, 1) he thought his face was such a blessing (since this channel is for de-stressing) 🙄 that he had to share it to help us, 2) dude couldn’t stand not participating and needed attention, or 3) it’s his own inside joke with himself which I still hate
Now there’s just this dude’s face when I scroll through the pet pics and it annoys me 😭
Okay mini rant done, just had to be a hater for a couple of minutes, back to wishing the very best for all my fellow students just trying to navigate college
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this book is the rebirth of my soul it was that good. i was GAPING at the plot twists at the end and almost on the verge of tears and omfg i loved it sm what the hell is this poetic smart ass masterpiece omg thank you world for making me read this book it’s probs my favorite book of the year so far
i’m gonna watch s1 now of sab but i have to wait like another 2 weeks to get the next one because my friend has to finish it and she’s lowk slow at reading so yeah.
final thoughts: new brainrot omg i feel like i’ve been changed inside and out
shoutouts to @ketterdam-snack-bar @bazkrekkers @sleepless-crows and any other soc related acc on here for helping me read this masterpiece :)
#soc#six of crows#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#nina zenik#mattias helvar#jesper fahey#wylan van eck#kanej#helnik#wesper#crooked kingdom#six of crows netflix
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Dallas x single mom! Reader (pt7)
Later in the day, it was time to pick Ally up from preschool.
Dallas of course offered to walk with you, which you agreed. Duh.
You two walked to the school building as kids ran to their parents and siblings.
“Mom! Dally!!” Ally exclaimed as she raced to the both of you, holding a pretty piece of paper.
“Look what I made!” She yelled, holding up the paper to you.
You took it gently from her, reading over the messy handwriting.
It was a picture of you and the gang.
Some of it was scribbles and it was hard to make out.
Above johnny it said “jonnycake” as she spelled his name wrong and put what she thought his name was. You smiled to yourself.
Above Darry it said “mom #2/dare bear”
Above two-bit his name was written as “two-butt” you laughed as you remembered you used to call him that in elementary school.
Above ponyboy she wrote “hors boy”
Sodapop was “Pepc” (pepsi)
Steve was “boy wif crazy tooth” you laughed to to yourself as it seemed so accurate.
But you and Dallas were not too far away from the gang but you two were separated by a big heart with you and Dallas in the middle.
Above you it said “mommy”
Above Dallas it said “dad ♡⃝ ◡̈”
You almost wanted to cry with happy tears.
“It’s beautiful, baby. It’s absolutely beautiful.” You complimented her on her art work.
She smiles and then looked at Dallas and lifted her arms up, signaling she wanted him to pick her up.
He picked her up, holding her on his hip.
The three of all went on y’all’s way home and stopped at the door, opening it.
But there was a small change of plans.
You had bought the house next to the Curtis house.
But ally was already used to being so close with them, you didn’t know how she was gonna take it.
You had all of your stuff in the house and you already knew where you were gonna put everything so it wouldn’t take long to move in since you didn’t have a shit ton of stuff.
You did half of it last night when everyone was asleep. You snuck out to put the big stuff up like the beds and tv and tables and chairs.
You just didn’t know how to tell Ally.
You gathered the gang into the living room.
You sat Ally in your lap waiting for everyone to be ready for the big news.
“So..I don’t know- I don’t know how to tell Ally. I’m sure you guys won’t be a problem but Ally is definitely gonna be- I don’t know.”
You paused.
“Last week, I registered Ally into school. And I also bought a house so we wouldn’t be in y’all’s hair. Cause, you know I’ve been looking for a house and the-“
All the boys groaned and complained.
And Ally wasn’t having it.
“Wait what?! No! I like it here! This is our family! We can’t leave them-“ you put your hand over her mouth.
“Boys. Let her speak. This is her decision and her life. If she has to leave then let her. Be respectful.” Darry corrected the boys.
Dallas looked like he was gonna break.
“So..I won’t be able to see y’all anymore?” Dallas questioned sadly.
You chuckled.
“You didn’t let me finish. I swear the two of you are just alike.” You laughed.
But Dallas didn’t.
“I was gonna say. That I bought the house next door. So that way we could visit. This is the only family Ally has. I would never take her away from family. Y’all are my family too. I’ve practically known y’all my whole life. Even if I didn’t know you that well. We all went to school together.”
“I did half of the unpacking last night. When everyone was asleep. I did all of the beds and the hard stuff I just have to put the dishes away. I put groceries in there and everything.”
“I moved all of our clothes over there. And y’all can most definitely come visit any time. I don’t care what time it is. Y’all have did so much for us and I don’t even know how to thank y’all.”
You were on the verge of tears.
“Thank you guys so much.”
Darry smiled.
“Of course. You’re also still welcome to visit any time. We all love y’all and it was absolutely an adventure.”
You laughed, wiping your tears.
“You guys are making seem like I’m leaving earth.”
The boys laughed.
Dallas didn’t know how to feel.
The boys went back to what they were doing.
“Wait!! I wanna say bye to them!” She yelled.
She got off of your lap and hugged all the boys..
“Bye darbear.” She said.
“Aw. Bye Ally. You’re only moving next door. That means it only takes a few steps to get back to us.” He said, hugging her.
They pulled away.
She was crying by the time she got to Dallas.
She hugged his leg, sobbing.
It broke his heart.
“Aw. Hey, man. You’re tuff. I’ll try my best to visit, alright? I came over here almost every day just to see you. You know that? Come’re.” He said, pulling her into a hug.
You could tell he was crying too.
“Alright.” You said, picking up ally.
“Come on Dallas.” You said, opening the door.
He was confused.
“Huh?”
You rolled your eyes playfully.
“You stayin’ the night ain’t you?” You said
He jumped up so quick and bolted for the door after saying goodbye to everyone.
“Mama? Can we listen to Elvis while we unpack?” Ally asked tugging on your shirt.
You looked at her like “wtf”
Of course you listened to Elvis. But you never thought that she liked it. But I mean. Who doesn’t like a little bit of Elvis.
Before could answer Dallas did.
“I gue-“
“Oh my god. Yes!” He exclaimed, picking her up, running for the door.
He looked back at you with a frown when he realized the door was locked.
“Hurry mama!!”
“Yeah. Hurry mama.” He said with a glare and you laughed while unlocking the door.
You had your bed put together and where you wanted it and Ally’s bed in her room you even decorated a little bit.
Dallas put Elvis on the speaker and danced with Ally.
You put the dishes in cabinets and decorated the bathroom.
You put some LED lights in your bedroom and put them on blue.
You swept and mopped the floors and put posters up in your room.
People forget that you’re only 17.
So of course you’re gonna have posters in your room.
Everything like Aerosmith, Elvis, Stevie Nicks, Prince,
Terminator, Predator, journey.
All of that was in your room.
It looked like a 17 year old boy’s personality just threw up all over your room.
Which was what you were going for.
Dallas got some clothes and the stuff he needed from bucks.
You made the bed and chose which side you sleeping on, which was next to the wall.
Ally walked into your room.
She gasped.
“Terminator!!”
She was in love with all the posters.
Dallas walked in with his stuff and set his bag on the ground.
“Wow! It looks great in here.”
“Thanks.”
You laid on your bed.
Which was hella comfortable.
You almost fell asleep until Dallas started tickling you and Ally started jumping on the bed.
You laughed until you almost pissed yourself.
You looked at the time and figured you would start dinner.
Ally went to play with her toys in her room.
You started making spaghetti.
Dallas walked up and hugged you from behind.
He gave you a peck on the neck.
“Dallas. I’m trying to make dinner.”
He smirked.
“Am I distracting you?” He said, rubbing your sides.
You rolled your eyes.
“Shut up.”
“Daddyyyyy!!” You heard from Ally’s room.
You chuckled.
“That’s your que.” you said as you stirred the pot.
He laughed and went to see what she wanted.
A few minutes later as you were finishing up with dinner, he returned with a tiara on his head and a pair of shades which were crooked on his face.
You laughed and ran to get your camera.
You came back and right as he flipped you off, you snapped a picture and literally died laughing.
You put it on the fridge and fixed plates.
You called Ally in to eat and grabbed forks for everyone.
Dallas forgot he had the tiara and shades on and ate while wearing them the whole time.
You almost choked on your food trying not to laugh.
“What.” He said, finishing up eating.
“Oh, nothing.” Ally said snickering.
Everyone was done with eating and you gave Ally a bath and put her pajamas on which was a yellow onesie with polka dots.
You took a shower and put on your pajamas which were a pair blue plaid pajama shorts and a cami top.
You laid Ally down for bed and walked into your room.
“Oo. You look sexy in those.” Dallas said playfully while watching tv on your bed.
You blushed and jumped onto the bed.
“Shut up.”
You got under the covers and laid next to Dallas.
He wrapped his arms around you and turned the tv off.
Dallas was almost asleep.
“I love you..” he said, tightening his grip around you.
“I love you too, boo.” You said, kissing his cheek before turning the lamp off and drifting off to sleep.
#ponyboy headcanons#ponyboy x reader#ponyboy curtis#johnny cade x reader#johnny cade#johnny cade headcanons#dallas winston headcanons#dallas winston x reader#sodapop headcanons#sodapop x reader
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thank u for the tag @monacotrophywife this took. too long to get around to lol
15 questions !!
are you named after anyone? my govie name no but eve yes! it’s my great grandma’s. my dad’s family has a kind of idk policy where your first name is Yours but your middle name is from somebody else. so my siblings and cousins and i have Original Names (not original as in like mackayleigheey just original as in not somebody else’s already. bc believe me some of our names are BASIC) and our middle names are all from grandparents + further back.
when was the last time you cried? i’ve been on the verge of tears a LOOOOOT lately. and i shed like five tears last week. but like Really cried was like january 11th ish when i moved out. i’ve had this stuffed rabbit since i was ~2 and my parents bought a perfect duplicate like the second month id had it bc i was so attached that they were like. we can NOT lose it and not have a backup (despite this i called both the same name). so i packed up one rabbit to take with me to my first solo apartment as a Real Adult and left one in my childhood bedroom. and that fucked me up soooo bad lol like the idea of here’s kid eve and here’s adult eve diverging paths… anyways.
do you have kids? i fuckin better not
what sports do you play/have you played? soccer, taekwondo, dance (ballet and tap for ~10 years) if you count that, running, a little bit of figure skating but like bootleg (aka my dad teaching me or me teaching myself w second hand skates) uhhhh. i feel like im forgetting something. oh gymnastics when i was very small. they had a lot of like, free/reduced cost sports opportunities for poor kids in my city so i’ve done a lot of things lol. owned a lot of second/third/fourth hand sports equipment over the years. if you’re in america (i cannot guarantee this exists anywhere else) and you’re in need of expensive sports equipment for cheap (or you’re looking to donate old sports equipment!) find yourself a play it again sports they came THROUGH for me and my siblings as a bunch of athletic poor kids
do you use sarcasm? frequently irl. probs less so online bc i don’t feel like it carries very well lol
what is the first thing you notice about people? hair!!!!! but otherwise it varies a lot. my favorite way to interact w ppl for the first time is to find something to compliment them on so i’m usually scanning everything to find like, oh they’ve got cool hair, cool tattoos, funky shoes, a fun patterned scrunchie, whatever.
what is your eye color? i Technically have heterochromia. but mostly green, i just have one solid brown stripe across my left eye
scary movies or happy endings? i don’t like Most Horror in general (tho i do fuck with a psychological thriller or black comedy movie a la the menu or last night in soho) so i’m gonna say happy endings
any talents? is it rude to say lots. lol. painting is probably my most “surprising” one. i can also still passably tap dance despite it being nearly 10 years since i stepped foot in a real studio. speed reading is another one; for some novels (shoutout pratchett for writing the world’s most readable and engaging novels) i was averaging like 550 wpm
where were you born? los angeles, baby. city of angels. la la land. tinseltown. etc
what are your hobbies? i am very good at picking up new hobbies and very bad at sticking with them for very long (until i get reinvested for like three weeks before dropping again etc). right now probably baking is the big one? writing. i’m trying to get back into painting this week actually!! we’ll see if i succeed
do you have any pets? my apartment is unfortunately pet free :( but my family pets are WONDERFUL. i have a dog who is a pitbull-corgi-mutt (so literally picture a corgi butt, legs, and the floppy baby corgi ears, plus a fat pitbull body, skull, and smile), and an orange cat :)
how tall are you? 5’0 on a good day
favorite subject at school? MATH!!!!! god bless math everybody. i had optional math homework in high school and sometimes when i was really annoyed w my other work i would procrastinate by doing the optional math work lol
dream job? i mean if anyone wants to step up and be my patron so i can oil paint photorealistic fabric folds all day… no but uhh what i do rn is my “realistic” dream job. my unrealistic but still technically feasible dream job is sports analytics. and my totally infeasible and impossible dream job is Art.
i’m gonna be honest i am so deeply behind on this that i think everyone has done it already. but if you haven’t and you’d like to, please consider yourself tagged <3
#tag game#not to say that art is an infeasible career#just that i like art and data equally and have not had like basically Any training in art#so obviously i chose the thing i liked the same amount (data/math/cs) that i could turn into a career significantly more easily
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Stockholm Week 3: Travel Preps!
Hej! I can’t believe it’s already February. Time flew by as I made more unforgettable memories in Stockholm :)
I am definitely getting more used to school and living like a local (we went through so much recycling in the past three weeks).
But for now, I'll dive right into my third week:
1/29 Mon: Freedom in Gamla Stan
During lunchtime, my friends and I visited Matchaya to get bubble tea and lunch. It was only a 10/15 minute walk from the DIS building! Very convenient. The bubble teas were AMAZING and the ramen was good too :)
My first bubble tea (Mango passion fruit) in Stockholm was a huge success <3 They put chunks of real mango in the drink too!!
I’ve always wanted to go back to Gamla Stan to go into some specific stores that I passed by when I was with my friends, hence I went to Gamla Stan again. Granted that I have been there multiple times now, I didn’t need Google Maps to use the metro or get to the stores. In a small souvenir shop, I found the perfect key chain for my housing key!
It’s a tiny little fuzzy Viking friend!
As I walked in the warm sunshine and the occasional breezes, I could feel the definition of peace of mind. It was exactly what I came to study abroad for and I was suddenly on the verge of tears due to pure happiness. It was an inexplicable moment :)
1/30 Tue: Searching for the One
I had never imagined that finding a cream-colored puffer in XS size would be this hard.
There was this white jacket that I saw in UNIQLO during my arrival shopping, and it had been living in my head rent-free since then. I have visited other stores to look for jackets with similar properties but I never succeeded. Moreover, UNIQLO was out of the size I was looking for both online and offline. When I went to the website and applied the filters it said “VERY LOW STOCK” in the mall. I had no option other than to go to the Mall of Scandinavia to look for the exact jacket. I had to try!
I took the astonishingly smooth commuter train for the first time, and it only took 25 minutes in total. Much to my joy, I was able to snatch the last one at the mall!
1/31 Wed: Let’s Book Everything
I didn’t have any field trips today, so I had a great time waking up late in the morning (afternoon to be exact).
I appreciate the sun so much more than I did back in the States
My roommate and I had a conversation the day before about going to Austria, Vienna together as a weekend trip. We searched through Ryanair (at 1 am) and found the best flight that perfectly suits our class schedules. It gets better: it was $65 per person for a round trip to Vienna! That’s what I call a deal.
Next, I called my dear college friends back home. They have been talking about going to London ever since my study abroad in Sweden was confirmed. My friend and I scheduled a time on Wednesday with Google Calendar (this is what we need to do when we each have 10 billion events going on in our lives) to finalize the trip. Again, Ryanair did its trick and I got my flights booked in an hour.
** Ryanair is recommended if you are on a tight budget AND don’t have a lot of stuff! I’m only bringing my backpack since these are all weekend trips :)
My roommate and I also had a fabulous dinner, ramen.
As you can see from the photo, we had a feast
2/1 Thu: Self-Care Day
My morning film class was canceled today, so I had the pleasure of turning off all the alarms. For once I had plenty of time to make breakfast.
*・+:*。・ Golden French toast *。・:*+*
When I was done with my late afternoon three-hour core course, I really didn’t feel like doing anything. So I didn’t!
The view from the DIS building
We just cooked together following an Instagram recipe
(could have used thinner meat)
and watched Memento together. It played with my mind too many times… I highly recommend it + a video essay that unfolds the movie from a different perspective!
2/2 Fri: Banksy!
To make up for the work I didn’t do last night, I woke up at 5 am to finish my homework.
Sunrise view at 7:30 am
After class, I briefly ate lunch and headed to The Mystery of Banksy.
I had no prior background knowledge about Banksy, which allowed the museum trip to be a fun learning experience. There was a lot more political and social criticism than I imagined in Banksy’s artworks. The pop-up ends on February 4th, so if you are interested check out the Banksy website!
Here are the pictures we took:
My roomie even brought her camera!!! I was so jealous
2/3 Sat: Fika with Friends
Of course, I went to Gamla Stan again. I was invited for a fika brunch and there was no reason to say no.
We walked around until there were seats available at Fika and Wine.
The food and the desserts were all flavorful.
After devouring everything, we strolled around the city to digest. All four of us took pictures of each other at the same time and the conversations we had were too funny.
So much laughter <3
I started turning around and around while my friend was taking pictures of me - it resulted in me getting a new nickname of rotisserie chicken.
The picture depicts a chicken in the midst of rotating
Your answer better be YES to this question!
Maybe it was the turns that led me to lose my transportation card. That’s right, I lost my 90-day SL card. Thankfully, I registered for the replacement guarantee during the first week because I knew it was bound to happen at some point (but not this early ;-; ). I went to the SL Customer Service Center in Central Station, near the T-Centralen metro station, and got my 90-day plan transferred into a new card for $2.
Sending love to my roomie who stayed with me until the problem got fixed. Couldn’t have done it without you <3
2/4 Sun: More Planning (Hopefully the Last)
I finally finalized all the details for my Spain trip during the Exploration Travel Week Break! I got the flight and the hotel in Barcelona, and I am extremely excited for this trip. Going to Spain has been on my bucket list for a while now, and I can’t describe how THRILLED I am. I will write more about it when the time comes :)
My plans for the rest of today are doing more homework and maybe getting dinner with my friends at a Ghanaian restaurant.
I hope you enjoyed my relaxing but vibrant third week! The past three weeks in Stockholm have been exactly what I came to study abroad for, and I wouldn’t change this experience with anything.
I hope to share more of my everlasting memories with you!
Vi ses,
Jiwoo Kim
Chemical Engineering
DIS Study Abroad in Stockholm, Sweden
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Shoutout to @hv-22 for the tag 😘
15 Questions 15 Mutuals
1. Are you named after anyone
My given name is the same as my dad’s :)
2. When was the last time you cried?
I was on the verge of tears like a week ago talking to my parents but didn’t end up crying
3. Do you have kids?
Nope, I may want them eventually but not for a while
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
So much(mot a lot over text tho)
5. What is the first thing you notice in people?
The colour of their eyes and also their energy, social cues are weird but vibes are good
6. What color are your eyes?
Blue!
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
Recently I’ve been getting more into horror, especially campy horror and stuff with cool cinematography like The Menu or Hush
8. Special talents?
I’m decent at baking bread and writing poetry, not sure what else to put for this one
9. Where were you born?
Georgia (the US State, not the country) but I only lived there for a couple months
10. What are your hobbies?
Video games, baking (especially bread) and sleep, although I’m also learning how to cook, I know a lot of the basics but need practice (my bestie is the best cook so we do that together)
11. Have any pets?
I’m living in a dorm right now so no, but next year when I get an apartment my friend and I are getting a cat!! (I will post pics of it dw)
12. What's sports do you play or have played?
I played basketball and flag football in elementary and middle school, and I rowed crew for a year in high school
13. How tall are you?
Almost exactly 6ft (like 183cm)
14. Favorite subject in school?
Definitely science and history
15. Dream job?
Materials scientist/packaging engineer
I’m tagging all of these lovely people! 🥰💕(15 is so many wtff)
@softdommegf @barkwoofbarkwoofbark @cowboy-7000 @bunnygirlmilk @yearning-sunny @feralattentionwhore @pxrttycxnt @ftm-fox-prince @chakalaka98 @fallenfawnn @kiss-of-the-succubus @angel-bbyxoxo @delta-is-a-little-lewd @verysecretlykinky @chubby-cherubs
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I created a Thanksgiving spread and just pulled cards for myself with it 🦃🍂 This reads starting at the top, moving left to right down and then down to the next row.
My energy now: 5 of Wands
Conflict, tension, scattered, inner suffering, a need to calm & focus my mind. Definitely working on this but feeling it still. Last week I had a bad flare up and it made me super depressed. Fighting with myself lately to do things that benefit my health.
2. The blessings you have: 10 of Swords
Rock bottom. I mean I would have to agree that getting to the point I’m at is a blessing, because now I’m able to break out of it.
3. Something to feel grateful for: The Star
Healing, hope, peace, creativity. Absolutely! And this is “my” card so it’s like saying… being happy to be uniquely ME. Also, of course that there IS hope, I’ve been here before and can overcome again.
4. Something to pay closer attention to: 3 of Pentacles
Focus, strategy, determination, also teamwork. I definitely need to be putting more effort into focusing and building up plans for what I’m doing. Because I so easily feel like “I don’t need to do that anymore I feel better” and forget about it until I’m back where I was last week. This card is like… climbing a mountain. It seems like a huge task but I am not alone.
5. Something to cut loose: 10 of Wands
Mental and physical burdens, difficulty, burdens, blockages, depression.
I was just saying I really should try again with the doc/therapy. Financially it’s kinda impossible lol but maybe I can figure something out. I think really this card is saying to let go of like attracting and holding onto negativity. I tend to get stuck in fixations about bad things (thanks mom n dad). And to focus on clearing energy blockages once and for all. A lot (if not all) of my burdens and difficulties is due to upbringing, my parents, and unaddressed mental health situations such as ADHD or CPTSD (again where going to doc comes in). Let go of wallowing in my shit.
6. How to attract more good things into your life: Daughter of Wands
Passion, visionary, free-spirit, transformation, spiritual breakthrough. Okokok I’m feeling this for sure. I need to free myself from these worries through deliberate action. Revisit my spiritual beliefs, and build upon them. Evolve.
7. What abundance is coming to you this season? Ace of Swords
Clarity, breakthrough, truth. Love this—- right before Peach had some big upgrades in his career I constantly would pull this card for him. That makes me so excited for what’s coming!!! Also, good to know that my efforts will help my mind.
8. A message from Spirit/the Universe: Daughter of Swords & The Bard
-Insightful, honest, observant.
-The liminal, transition, spaciousness, grace, forgiveness, truth
Lol ok this message actually brought me to tears. Spirit is saying that I have this gift for facing the truth, even when it’s shitty. I’m vigilant and notice small details. I tend to hold onto things too tightly in a way that can make me resentful or depressed.
This space/energy I’m moving into is one where I have the space to tap into higher wisdom and help me find the resolve I’ve been working toward/waiting for. The Veil is still thin, so I may receive messages from ancestors and my spirits. This cosmic support helps me finally forgive and release old pains. But also this sense of being in an in-between space where I’m like right on the verge of moving into my next embodiment.
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Sept 29, 2025
yiKes. I’ve been spending too much time around- around… I’m not sure who but sometimes without thinking, it’s just.. possible pickup lines running straight from my brain to my mouth.
Tell me why my RA came in for Touchpoints, and as she was leaving, told me Health and Safeties are coming up, I ask if the regulations have changed, and we joke about how you can’t have air fryers, anything fun, and she said “or anything that brings you joy”. And without thinking… I said “so I guess you’ll have to get out of here then.”
brUh. She laughed and said it was cute, and we went lurking separate ways… but damn. This is the first time I’me met her face to face. agh.
Anyways, debating if I should get food. Not really hungry and it’s already 8:47p. But like, if I get pizza now, I have it for breakfast tomorrow.
But I don’t know if I’m gonna want breakfast. Because once again, it’s a painting day. Technically 10-3, but I’ve gotta get there early to set up (there are 2 practicum coming) and it always takes time to get into the shop.
It’s so frustrating because our Production Manager (and asst. prod man) made sure to send an email to security (on Friday) that I would be in on the weekend, and that they need to unlock the scene shop and the film studio.
But I get there, and the security guard says that they have no note saying they can let me in, and that they need permission to do so. I show them the text that says an email was sent, and the APM sends another email (she’s on a train at this time). But I’m told that it needs to be a phone call.
So, 20 minutes after I wanted to start, I’m finally allowed up. And this is ridiculous because the same thing happened last week. Nothing is ever simple, and as I was leaving I was told to tell the PM/APM to call tomorrow before I come. So , they’re not going to get their email shit together then.
Whatever. Painting today was uneventful, the 2 practicum were quiet, and it was a little awkward for A (a friend who was on shift) and me.
B (who’s costume for this prod) stopped by, and we got a late lunch before I got back to painting after the others left.
I feel so… drained and on the verge of tears in tears. For so long, every part of this process felt so slow, but now shooting is in less than a week and nothing is how I want it to be.
We can’t be in the space because there are classes in the space during the day, and I’m busy during the week so tomorrow is really my last full day.
Which is messed up because we’re supposed to go out to get more set dressing on Tuesday. Technically it was supposed to be last Tuesday, but the elevator broke down so we got moved.
I don’t know the state of our floor “tiles”, and our double sided tape is both the stickiest thing and not holding up our pieces. So, not great.
I’m so nervous that something is going to go wrong, or it’s not going to be good enough. And it needs to go well. I have to make this look good or I think I’m quitting design altogether.
Big Fish was a disaster, the last film I was on looked like shit, and next semester is my last semester.
Do I want to do another school production? No.
Do I want to do Oklahoma (the rumored musical? No.
Do I want to complete with S (the only other scenic focus in my year) and win so that I’m doing the “biggest” show of the semester? Yes.
And there’s no guarantee that she’ll even apply. Maybe she’ll get an outside job and brag that she doesn’t need to do a school production. Maybe she’ll get it and I won’t. There are too many unknowns. But every production I’ve done here has made me feel awful, and I’m not proud of any of it.
I even joke that this director is the best one I’ve ever had because she hasn’t (directly) made me cry. And that’s a really low bar.
But whatever. The production is still making me miserable. And I have all day tomorrow to hide it. Practicum 11-3, key GG 2-6, and I guess I’m going to be 9:30-6:30 because we have to move everything out of the way for key GG, but then move it back later so it’s not in the way of the classes that happen during the week.
I ordered food. It’ll go in the fridge.
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eight days sober
I didn’t post yesterday cos I spent the day at a theme park, got home super late and was exhausted so went to bed p much straight away - had a great, fun & sober day with friends tho (ex called back in the morning and briefly spoke to him but was literally just less than five minutes checking in, he didn’t come over or get in touch on sunday bcos he was playing fifa, honestly why am I so into him?)
I’ve been slacking on meetings recently (after planning to go to 2 a day🥴) but finally went to my favourite one tonight which was good and motivating but my friend that I’ve made through meetings wasn’t there for the third week in a row and I’m so worried about her. No one has heard from her. Genuinely really hope she is okay…I’m terrified that she’s relapsed and died, I know that’s dramatic but it is a real possibility…
I also had acupuncture to help with cravings and calm me down, heal my body and all that good shit, loved it as always and can’t wait for the next session early next week. Also signed up to a couple of relationship groups that start in a couple of weeks that I’m also looking forward to☺️👌
also forgot to take my meds last night and have been on the verge of tears over such teeny things and getting brain zaps again this evening, love that for me. did do some pen colouring in though so that was nice. and it’s been sunny today and yesterday and I’ve got a good little tan going. oh and I didn’t have enough money at the shop today and the lady behind me in the queue got the thing that I put back while paying and gave it to me as I was leaving the car park - sometimes people can be kind and the world is full of love 🥰 like she didn’t have to do that but thank you kind stranger for that random act of kindness
love u xo
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Away on one of the longest vacations I’ve ever been on, didn’t realize just how much of an introvert i am until now
Every activity, meal, even being in the hotel room i am constantly surrounded by people and i felt so burnt out yesterday that I was nearly on the verge of tears at dinner - I felt like this after only 2 days LOL thots and prayers for the rest of the week idk if I’m gonna make it
Like how do I respectfully tell someone that I need to lay in the dark with headphones on to recover
#for someone who is on the phone constantly at work and always out and about#i didn’t fully appreciate how much alone time i have#a little daily brainrot is good for the soul#havent watched a dumb YouTube video all week im going through withdrawals l#need to walk alone in some woods or something#or stare at a wall in complete silence
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