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princecharmingmendes · 5 years ago

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Heartstrings | Chapter XII | Shawn Mendes

“ ‘It’s like a best friend, but more. It’s the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It’s someone who makes you a better person, well, actually they don’t make you a better person… you do that yourself because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you, and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens..you’ll always love them.’ - unknown”

“Shawn was a huge believer that the ‘soulmates’ situation’ was the most stupid thing on the planet, specially since it was such a rare thing to find someone with the same mark as you. He would do anything he could to prevent the so called 'destiny’ from happening, but could he?”

hi, i know there’s so much going on right now and i’m not going to take this too far cause this is not a political centered blog or anything, i just think somethings need to said. i just thought i might ask you guys to see what is going on, sign the petitions, vote and if you can, donate. you can find links on my blog and even all over tumblr, it won’t take you too long to do it. and please stay safe. and in the middle of it, i’m just posting this for you to have something to ease your minds a bit and keep you occupied for a few minutes during quarantine. anyway, i hope you like it, and please give me some feedback.

*Word Count: 2.6K+.

*Warnings: cursing, angst, drinking, mentions of car crash (in case that triggers).

*Posted: June 4th, 2020.

-*-

It’s been almost a week since the last time a had an actual conversation with Shawn. I mean, even though he’s been dodging me like the plague, I wasn’t totally available as well, finals started and I was going insane. It’s no secret to anyone that I take my education pretty serious, so the whole week I’ve been studying like crazy. Mel likes to say I’ve been doing this more than ever to avoid the topic and the whole conversation with Shawn, I just like to think it’s just myself as in any end of semester. And he wasn’t ignoring me, he was just avoiding being alone with me, and according to Brian, he had been pretty off lately, and even though I really wanted to sit down with him and see what was actually happening, I didn’t have the time to, and if he wanted, he knew he could come to me.

The week went on pretty fast. Soon was Friday and I finally would have a night to myself to chill for a bit before my last week of finals started. Melissa took the opportunity to run to her boyfriend’s place, aka, Shawn’s condo, and the guys invited me over for a game night, but I told them I needed to just stay quiet and sleep. They ended up accepting it, especially cause this was no news for everyone.

So I ended up opening a bottle of wine and ordering some pizza. I took a long and warm shower, deciding to do some skin care and paint my nails nicely, and while I was doing that, I chose a random thing to let playing on my computer on Netflix to watch and just enjoy the whole night. The pizza arrived around nine and it was perfect, cause my nails were finally dry, so I went outside and grabbed it, paying and going back to my room. But ten minutes later, when I was finally eating my first slice, someone knocked on the door and it was weird, I wasn’t expecting anyone. But when I opened the door, I was just so shocked.

Shawn was standing there, looking completely lost with glassy eyes, his cheeks were pink, his hair was a mess and so were his clothes. He didn’t say anything, he just kept staring at me with a confused yet grateful expression. Shawn opened his mouth to speak but nothing came from it, so he closed it and tried speaking again, looking still like a lost puppy. I gave him some space and he just dragged himself inside, stumbling through the room and basically plopping down on the mattress, throwing his backpack on the floor and just looking straight ahead. I closed the door and walked to him, but he didn’t look up and I was starting to get worried about him, so I kneeled down in front of him, carefully placing a hand on his cheek, which caused him to immediately look down at me. I started lightly caressing his face and his eyes fluttered shut.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” I asked and he nodded, but not a single word left his mouth “is it school related?” he shook his head “is it me?” he shrugged “It’s okay, have you been drinking?” and with that he nodded and I could literally see the tears forming on those gorgeous brown eyes “oh, Shawn”

I got up to my feet only to sit down beside him, quickly wrapping my arms around his torso as he nuzzled his face on my neck. I started rubbing circles on his back as he sobbed on me, pulling me tighter to his body. I’ve never seen him so broken before, at least not in a long while. Shawn was always the type that felt his emotions deeply but didn’t show, only to a few lucky people, that included his family, Brian and me, and yet, I’ve never seen him crying this bad before. He’s whole body was shaking and he was curled up seeming a lot smaller than he really is, and my heart was shattering at every little sound that left him, but I knew I couldn’t cry, even though my eyes were brimming with tears. I knew I had to be strong for him.

I kept on trying to coo him and mumble a few comforting and soothing words, but it was hard not knowing what made him feel like this. His breathing was starting to even out slowly and I was feeling a bit more relieved, and still, I didn’t stop trying to make him relax a bit, but gently playing with his curls, feeling him shiver and sigh against the sensitive skin of my neck. I placed a tender kiss on his hair and kept on playing with it. He slowly backed up a bit, his face a little bit red, with swollen and puffy honey eyes looking up at me like a little kid who’s afraid. I squeezed his hand softly to assure him that I was here for him.

“Do you want to take a warm shower?” I offered the first thing that I would like to do if I’m feeling sad and he nodded softly “it’s okay if you want to, maybe it’ll help you relax a bit”

“Okay” it was barely above a whisper but it was already enough.

“I’ll get the shower ready and-“ I was cut mid sentence by him grabbing my hand as I was standing up and keeping me by his side “come with me then, I just want to help, I’m not going anywhere, darling” I said placing my hand on his cheek and he leaned in on my touch “come on, baby”

He slowly got up, still holding my hand, and followed me to my bathroom with Mel, in which I turned on my fairy lights that I had hanging there and turned off the lights so he could have a chill environment. I turned on the hot water and back into the room to grab the backpack he brought with him, so I returned as he was taking off his pants, so I placed it there and left him to his own business. I went back to the room to kinda change the mood in there, by lightning up a candle and a few fairy lights, separating my wine and a glass for him and arranging the pizza and the bed for us in case he chose to stay.

Shawn left the bathroom with damp hair and dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, looking so so so cute, he rubbed his eyes to adjust to the light and when he focused on the room his shoulders dropped and suddenly I couldn’t breath. I didn’t want to make him feel worse, I just wanted to help.

“I’m sorry, everything can go back to normal if you want”

“It’s not that” he mumbled softly “this is perfect, you’re perfect”

“I’m not, I just figured you needed to relax a bit, want to lay on the bed? You arrived a bit after the pizza”

“‘M not hungry”

“I know, but you should eat a bit, there’s also wine” I offered with a tempting smile and he gave me the smallest one in return, but it enough to make my heart flutter.

“Kay”

“Do you want to spend the nigh? Mel is not coming back” I asked and he nodded coming to me and holding my hand, plopping down on my mattress and pulling me to him “wait, I’ll grab the pizza for us, want wine?”

“Yeah” he answered and I grabbed to glasses that were not wine appropriate and a slice of pizza for each of us.

I sat down beside him and gave him his stuff, quickly pulling up the covers and placing my notebook on my lap, quickly logging in on netflix and picking a romcom I knew he liked deep down. So we just drank a glass of wine each and ate few slices. We were just there watching and I decided to put on a face mask while the movie wasn’t over.

“What is it?”

“It’s a charcoal face mask, want to apply it too?”

“Is it good?”

“Yeah, you have to peel it off later”

“Okay, can you put it on me?”

“Sure” I said spreading the product over his face, careful with his hair, until I gave up and pulled his curls back with a headband, and cleaning my fingers on a towel I had there “done”

“I have to wait?”

“Yeah, until the movie is over”

“Okay” he replied and got back to watching the movie with me.

After another half an hour the movie was almost over and I turned a bit to look at Shawn, only to find him already looking at me with glassy eyes.

“Oh, Shawnie, what’s wrong?” I mumbled softly and he shook his head.

“Let’s take off these masks”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah”

“Okay, just peel it”

“How?”

“Like this” I said poking and end and starting to pull it.

“Holy shit, this hurts”

“Don’t be a whiny baby”

“You and I both know I am a whiny baby” he mumbled with a cute pout on his pink lips.

“Yeah, that’s true, just do it” I said holding back a laughter as I finished taking mine off.

“It hurts”

“Want me to do it?”

“Yeah” he answered and I peeled it as quickly as I could with him basically whisper-yelling “hey, you weren’t careful!”

“But now it’s over, it’s just like a band-aid”

“But all over your face”

“Yeah” I said reaching back for my moisturizer and applying a bit on his face, alongside with my lip balm “all done”

“Can I put this on your face?”

“Sure” I was honestly about to say he could do anything if that meant he would be feeling a bit better or at least distracted, just as he was right now, his tongue poking out in concentration and he softly placed the cream all over my face.

“I’m sorry for showing up out of nowhere” he said closing the lid and looking at it as if it was the best thing ever.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to talk about it if you’re not comfortable yet”

“But I feel like I owe you an explanation”

“You don’t”

“I do” he said sighing softly and I decided to just give him space to talk since he wanted.

“Okay”

“I- Mum was involved in a bad car crash yesterday”

“Oh God”

“I know, and no one told me ‘cause they were afraid of how I would react and if that would ‘cause me to not take the test I had today, and I got so pissed when I found out, I just wanted to punch something, and that’s when I noticed why they’re concerned about my reaction, I guess I’m explosive and that stopped them from telling me my mother was at the hospital unconscious. And then I went straight to the hospital to see her, and then I had to come back from home cause I have tests monday and the first thing I knew I was parked outside your dorm room and I- I’m scared, Y/N” Shawn struggled to finish his sentence as he got back into sobbing and crying.

“It’s okay to be scared, baby” I said pulling him into a hug and he nestled his head on my chest, sobbing into it, as I tried my best to coo him “Karen’s going to be okay, Shawn, she’s already getting medical help, okay? You just gotta be strong for her and for Liyah, and I’m here for you, just don’t forget to breath a bit”

“Mhmm” he mumbled into my chest and I started playing with his curls.

“I would get upset too if they didn’t tell me and I would’ve gone there, and probably would’ve come back to you too, so just know you didn’t do anything wrong” I placed a kiss on his forehead and cupped his jaw “you talked to her?”

“No, she was out due to the meds they’re giving to her”

“How was your dad?”

“He said she’s out of danger when I got there, but that didn’t help me much”

“Okay, that’s a good sign, you just need to let the info sink in, right?” I asked and he just shrugged as I tried drying his tear stained cheeks “it’s okay, sweetheart, she’s going to be alright, okay?”

“I love you” he mumbled placing his chin on my sternum “so much”

“I love you too, Shawn, I’ve always loved you”

“Thank you for being here for me, this means so much” he said with puffy eyes and blushed cheeks.

“It’s my job and I’ll always be here”

“I’m here for you too”

“I know that” I smiled at him and pushed his hair back before holding his face on both of my hands “but right now, you’re the one who needs to relax and to just let go a bit, okay?” and to that, Shawn just nodded.

So I got back to playing with his hair as he nuzzled his face deeper in my chest, basically laying on top of me, not that I mind or anything, it actually feels good. We just spent so much time in silence, just waiting for his heart rate and breathing to calm down a bit, and when it did, I was so sure he was asleep, but when I tried moving to reach for my bottle of water I heard his whine in protest, and his arms tightening around me. Shawn looked up at me with his eyes lids struggling to be open and pink tinted cheeks, with a small pout and I couldn’t even move, so instead of doing what I was meant to, I just pressed a light kiss on his curls.

“You want me to leave?”

“Of course not, just wanted to reach for my water bottle, thought you’re asleep”

“Sorry, I wasn’t”

“But you should try to, specially ‘cause we still have finals and stuff, how can I help you?”

“Just keep doing what you do, baby”

“What?”

“Just this, just being here”

“Okay, can we just get ready for bed, in case either of us end up falling asleep?”

“Sure” he mumbled but didn’t move a muscle.

“Shawn, sit down for a sec, buddy” I asked nicely and he groaned, but obeyed either way.

I quickly rearranged things around us so we could actually fall asleep in peace and grabbed an extra blanket for us just in case he stole mine, even though I feel like he sleeps like a log. When I was done, Shawn just laid back on the pillows and outstretched his arms to me, making grabby motions with his hands, and I ended chuckling but also ended giving in, and then he pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight against his body. He started pressing soft kisses all over my face as I kept on giggling like a school girl.

“Stop moving” he groaned as I kept on leaning away from his face”

“God, you’re needy”

“I’m just trying to give you some love”

“Okay, but you can give it to me tomorrow, you need to rest baby”

“But-“

“No buts, Mendes, sleep”

“Fine” he mumbled with a pout that I had to resist very badly not to kiss.

“Goodnight, Shawn”

“Goodnight, baby” he said placing a kiss on the tip of my nose as I resumed playing with his hair.

And then I fell asleep, wrapped on his warmth and hoping this wasn’t just a dream or that things would finally work out to be like they’re supposed to.

-*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

let me know if you guys would like to be on a “taglist” for this series or anything else

and i’m sorry if i forgot anyone, please send me an ask or just comment down bellow!

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just-a-starfruit · 4 years ago

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The Night Sky

This was my submission to the Ateez Storyboard Contest, unfortunately I didn’t make it through to the final voting, but I am proud of myself for even getting the courage to submit something in the first place. It’s been a few years since I’ve written for fun and not for a school assignment, but nonetheless I hope y’all still enjoy it:’)

Also excuse me if this looks weird, I have never posted to tumblr, please have mercy on me.

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: None, but if there is one you feel I need to add, please let me know:)

Yeosang misses the sight of the stars, the city lights and crowded streets were never something he got used to, no matter how long he had lived in Seoul. He misses mapping those stars, and using them to navigate the Illusion over the vast expanse of the sky.

The very sky and stars his mother used to sing him to sleep under, and his father would tell him stories about. The sky was boundless, and full of mystery, but here it just felt like a cage. It felt wrong.

He huffs, pushing open the door to the 24 hour fried chicken take out restaurant he begrudgingly got a job at a year back. It’s not that he doesn’t love the food, hell, he could eat it any day without problem. It’s the stuffy environment, the unreliable coworkers, and the fact that his paycheck never seems to reflect his work. It certainly didn’t hold a candle to his previous occupation.

The only thing that keeps him working the graveyard shift here is that it’s the only job that would take a homeless barely legal teen, who definitely sounded drunk from all of the nonsense he was spewing. When he stumbled into the shop, yelling about how a masked man had taken their ship and he needed help. The employee shot him a weird look but took pity on the teen, and listened to him tell story upon story about the Illusion and it’s crew. They believed it to be fiction, oh, how wrong they were.

Yeosang slept in the police station that night.

When he woke up, it was early in the morning, sunrise, and Yeosang was startled to not hear the crashing of waves or smell the salt of the air, or see the exact position of the sun in the sky. In a panicked haze, he cried out for help, and the officer on duty told him to settle down to no avail. Yeosang was shaking and sobbing, the unfamiliarity of the world he was in now too much to take in at once.

When he finally calmed down enough to leave, he was handed a bottle of water by the officer, “Maybe head towards the hospital, get an IV for that nasty hangover.”

The boy just looked at him and left without a word.

He ended up back at the chicken shop, and the employee who had helped him the night previously, ended up talking to a manager, to give the boy a job and let him crash on his couch if he needed. Yeosang accepted the offer gratefully, and slept there for a month or so, until he saved up the money to rent a shoebox apartment he learned was called a goshiwon. It wasn’t the ideal lifestyle, but it would have to do until he could find everyone else.

The sound of snapping jolts Yeosang out of his train of thought, and he’s met face to face with a not too happy looking man, “Oi, I’d like to order finally. These kids get more and more lazy.”

Trying his best to not roll his eyes in front of a customer, the ex navigator smiles and forces an apology, punching in the order.

It was about 3 in the morning before someone else came barreling through the door, and Yeosang peeled his eyes away from the spider web he had been idly watching for the past hour or so. Then his eyes widened.

“San?”

The man’s eyes met his, and recognition and relief washed over his face,

“Yeosang! What in the name of selene are you doing here?”

“I should ask you the same, how have you been? What are you doing now? Most importantly, where did you end up?”

“I ended up in Japan, in an empty Shinjuku alleyway, but the moment I stepped into a crowded area, I was approached by a modelling agent. I had honestly no clue what was going on, so I accepted. That was four years ago though. I’m here for a photo shoot though.”

Yeosang nearly choked, “Four years? I’ve only been here two.” he then began to tell the former gunner about why he was in a dingy fast food restaurant on the outer streets of Seoul, working the graveyard shift.

“So if you’re some budding big time model, where is your manager?”

“I ran.” San said, barely above a whisper, as if the walls had ears.

“You what now?” Yeosang was at a loss of words, his mouth gaping open like a hooked fish, gasping for air.

“You heard me, I jumped ship, I felt trapped, strangled by the public to be the new “it” boy of the new generation of models. Most of all, I felt homesick, Yeo, I miss the ocean, the crew, the adventure. None of that is here. So when we were at a redlight, I opened the door to the car and ran as fast as I could.” San stood up at some point, the two having sat at the lone table and chairs that occupied the shop before swapping stories.

“I see. Have you seen any of the others? Have you heard anything about Hongjoong?”

The model shook his head, “You’re the only member of the crew I’ve seen, I’m sorry Yeo.”

An uncomfortable silence filled the room at the news. The strong headed Captain had gone missing just before the masked man arrived, sending the other seven members into wherever they are today. He had seemed distant that whole day before, it had set the crew into unease. About a week prior to his disappearance and Yeosang’s emergence into the modern world, they had a meeting with their alters that had gone surprisingly well, finally making amends.

The thoughts of the masked man caused Yeosang to shiver. The build of the man was familiar, yet also alien, resembling one of the taller members, even if all of them were in the same room.

The idea of another set of the boys was a crazy thought, but not impossible, as seen by the black clad masked crew of bandits they met with.

San decided to go home with Yeosang when 5AM finally crawled around, despite the tired employee saying time and time again how small his room was. San didn’t care, anywhere but in the claws of his manager and the gaze of the public would do.

When they entered the housing complex, Yeosang flipped on a small electric kettle resting on a counter, and set a plastic bag from his work next to it. From a small bin resting beneath the counter, he produced two cup noodles and disposable chopsticks. It was definitely different from what the escaped model was expecting, but he could care less, he was starving.

The kettle switched off when the water inside came to a boil, emitting a small amount of steam from the spout. Yeosang peeled open the lids of the noodle cups a little, and poured water into them, then placed the chopsticks on top of the lid to hold it down. He pulled out a pair of boxes from the plastic bag and popped open one of them to reveal wings from his work, then he handed San a cup noodle.

“Sannie, while I do appreciate seeing you again, you’re sure I won’t get in trouble for harboring a valuable asset to your company?” He shoves a mouthful of noodles in his mouth and winces, he forgot to blow on them.

“It’ll be fine, I’ll sweet talk my way out of either of us getting in trouble. I ditched my phone in the car, so it’ll take a while.”

He always was one to think ahead, and never made a move without carefully calculating his actions, even reckless ones. The two boys finished their meal in silence, cleaning up when they were finished.

It was an understatement to say Yeosang was relieved to see one of the members again, afterall it had been two years.

Two years of fear and loneliness in an unfamiliar world. As he closed his eyes, he saw the same image he had always seen: an hourglass with glowing sand frozen in place.

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beyondthetemples-ooc · 4 years ago

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“Why” tags are going here because Tumblr’s a baby who can’t handle all these words at once. :P

Why:

#but i spent my whole life absolutely CONVINCED that wings belonged on my body. it just... tok me a good long while to figure out Why.

#Oh THAT'S why everyone's freaking out over that post.

#at first I was like ''Wow this is Srentha to the core!'' And then I read ''why this unreasonable answer at the sight

#honestly this is why i'm basically addicted to empty-mind meditation?

#??? why do people do these awful things to Good People though

#i don't know how or why and i don't remember ever having Learned about That Letter? but my mind automatically knew it was 'hath' somehow

#Of course that DOES beg the question of why a LORd of CHAOS doesn't... you know. CHANGE it? ??

#first of all: REM WHY ARE YOU COMING to OHIO of all places???

#okay but. randy how did they MEET what's the STORY why are they HATING on TEXAS

#or like. a Sarcastic Joke because cyborg was once like ''why aren't you miss mary sunshine''?

#''What are you DOING. You RUN. ALWAYS RUN.'' and i was like. ''why bother getting into adventures if you're gonna RUN though..''

#I don't know why but I always score better on Customer Service Questionaires when I choose responses like ''I'm sorry

#i've never seen that still before and I CAN;T FATHOM WHY because that is FANTASTIC!

#I don't know why but ''novice suddenly ends up with super incredibly powerful abilities'' is one of my FAVORITE TROPES!

#I have no idea how/why but these just gave me Massive Leyla and Srentha Feels.

#my usual turnaround time for Dreams to Real Life is about two weeks. not sure why but it happens to like 7 people in my immediate family

#Especially with the bells. I don't know why but bells always remind me of that place. ~<3

#Nobody intrinsically knows how to solve problems that hurt another person. That's why COMMUNICATION is so important!

#also: Good Post re: Why Danny is So Actually-Great

#why does everyone spell ''bear with me' like that?

#i know right? Why did I never think of that??

#why do i love this so much

#that's basically why Evanescence became my favorite band. it's not all romo-/sexually-centric

#i've always read it the same way and didn't notice Why Everyone Stopped Liking Her but that also brought that particular Change to light...

#groans eternally in Tumblr's direction. why even bother with all these updates.

#Oh THAT'S why Eda could do glyphs! /joke

#thaaaat's probably why Fancie Word Choice has always been a strength in my writing.... {lD;;;;;

#velvet and sheer... why have I never seen that combination before? It's GLORIOUS

#That's probably why he's so good at spontaneous Travelling too. Lots of practice when trying to find her... /owo

#This is why House and Senate votes count though! The President may have a lot of control over the military but a strong H+S

#I know MC Escher was a master of this (whatever This is) and that's why he's one of my favorite artists.

#okay but I'm intensely curious why he didn't have a plan to take HIMSELF out and thought he'd have to rely on THEM dsfndsgmfhdgj

#I wonder why he'd need to attack/defend while shifted? Can he also use such magic when he's not shifted?

#but I think that variety is why her every new album is so refreshingly Different. Her singing ALONE improves so MUCH with every album!

#the only difference is that I imagined the fire came with smoke and that's why her gasp was so strangled and she grabbed her throa

#honestly this is why i'm basically addicted to empty-mind meditation?

#i'm cleaning my room and i misplaced it. badfnmkngjf;lk this is why i hate cleaning

#but scenes like this are why i love DC's latest gen of animated movies

#that Friends As Family theme was super important to why i love the 80's comics too..........

#this is why i read fanfic

#i think she feels slighted in some way but i can't pinpoint Exactly Why let alone HOW.

#and it's like.. Halfo f why lapis's characterization is so Shaky for me? Because the girl barely talks??? And she has like 7 Speech Modes

#^^^^ GUYS THIS WAS ALERINA. This is the environment Dove was raised in! This is why losing her mother tore her apart! ^^^^^

#This is so so SO important and delves deeply into why language is so important for learners and general humanity alike. ~<333

#that's why my tag for Old People Stories isn't specific to any generation. it's just Shitty Adults Being Shitty

#I write primarily about OCs and I know that's why my readership is so low. I write stories for a Dead Fandom that has declined sharply.

#you know? so that's why my Affirmations Tag is like 60% Steven UniversE Content at this point. 8F It's Helping Me Learn!

#It's a CIRCADIAN THING not an INSOMNIA THING. I don't know why my doctors don't believe it's NOT the same as INSOMNIA

#oh is THAT why my love language is ''all of them''?

#and i hardcore headcanon ry ouwearing glasses when he gets older. so why not?

#i Suck at the aCTUAL DRAWING art but i'm i na bit of a fallow period with the org and personal life. so why not?

#i'm already planning an aviary for the doves. so why not? (they'd be Very Separate from teh raven though. for obvious reasons)

#let's add to the Emotional Whiplash of Today pile. sure! why not!!

#but i got the dvd and i have vlc so why not use them i guess? i already had it in the drive for the extras and this way there's .....

#She can hop dimensions so why on Earth-- ALL the Earths-- hasn't she Been Relevant to ANY multi-timeline crisis yet???

#yes of fucking COURSE Dove and the rest are in Team Transition too!! Why on Earth-- on ANY earth! wouldn't I transition them too?!

#so why on earth did danny chase get shafted so hard?????

#about WHY or if she's GONNA be OKAY or HOW or--

#So gentle and soft and concerned and really quite quiet and subtle... which might be why others didn't pick up on the Love Vibe

#but the last one I reblogged didn't have that specified! 8O i don't know why one of my special interests is Unusual Instruments

#why WOULDN'T you snog a snitch if it could bring your dead loved ones back though? Why on Earth WOULDN'T you???

#but it's about ''they're very different. but they're friends!'' It just never talks about why or how that's important.

#(i think that's her full name for some reason but i don't know why or when i heard/saw it. somebody please correct me if i'm wrong!)

#I must be an Asker. I've never understood why people are so convinced they Can't Say No if someone asks?

#i also think PTSD makes you react to fear Differently from Pure Adrenaline Responses... but i can't unravel Why right now

#And also at the time I couldn't fathom why someone would think she was autistic. because i didn't know myself

#god this foreshadowing was just. so sincere and heart-rending and when this episode came out I *DID* wonder why she'd say that...

#I'm STILL trying to figure out why Srentha thought Dove was confessing that she has heartworm. (i know she Does Not in fact

#at first I was like ''Wow this is Srentha to the core!'' And then I read ''why this unreasonable answer at the sight

#i can't figure out why though

#If my Harmony Core theory is correct: it would explain why they're playing their music So Hard.

#the fact that my first reaction was ''why though'' is..... concerning?

#raven's like How? Why The HELL. and dove doesn't have a good answer besides ''it felt like i needed it.''

#fun fact: i misread this as ''zatana zatara / MICHIGAN '' and i was like... ''why the fUCK--''

#i don't know why there's all this fanart of

#and also sugar skulls are delightful but you should really know what they MEAN and REPRESENT and WHY they're sweet and flamboyant

#if someone is passionate; angry; or distressed over a topic: She doesn't always understand WHY until they EXPLAIN it. If they do at all.)

#oh hey why was THAT line never a meme

#this is why we need

#but that doesn't make it any less FRUSTRATING because I've been wORKING THROUGH the pptsd and why won't it STOP?

#(because that's why we have to pay for everything from movies to individual channels now. let's be real)

#i've never understood why winter and fall were the only ~fashionable~ seasons for wearing black.

#I mean to be FAIR some of the government DID mobilize and that's why we got the Stimulus Bill.

#But DC... this bullshit is why we can't have nice things

#and as soon as I looked it up: y first thought was ''Oh is that why we call them Abner?'' My second was ''Is that what *I* am?''

#also if you're as powerful as zee it probably comes second-nature so why WOULDN'T you throw it around to stop an argument?

#okay but if SPINEL doesn't know then how/why would BLUE know

#what? no i didn't just stare at this for a solid two minutes and read it over five times. no.. why would I do that?

#that's because it's not ''cool'' to hate on it so why would it be ''cool'' to like it ironically?

#why WOULDN'T you snog a snitch if it could bring your dead loved ones back though? Why on Earth WOULDN'T you???

#but it's not like a ragey angry thing. it's like........ war of attrition? why yes i think i WILL sign the 47th petition for the same thing

#over and over again and rewound and replayed until i got the whole spell written down. why YES I'm a little hyperfixated! why do you ask!!!

#tag game #rhs blog

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espanadiarywriter · 5 years ago

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The great, unstoppable, heroic American individual. Or not.

I’m going to try to explain why I’m not a horrible person even though I don’t like the 7:00 pm clapping every night for health care workers. It’s not because I think health care workers do not deserve our admiration and are not going through hell in many parts of the country. (Or maybe in all parts of the country because even in the areas not yet hit by a COVID surge, health care delivery is being completely upended.) And I do love the community aspect of coming together with neighbors from a safe distance to cheer something important. So why has the 7:00pm clapping been bothering me? I was really trying to figure it out for a while and then it hit me.

It gives me a sense of powerlessness and futility. The American health care system is arguably one of, if not the, most broken, inefficient, and unequal health care systems among modern, industrialized (wealthy) nations. And coronavirus exposed the rampant disparities and profit-focused, everyone-for-themselves system for what it was. And what are we doing about it? Clapping into the wind, on our front porches, from balconies. This is our answer? Once again, we are asking for individual heroics to solve a systemic problem.

Health care workers are always one of the most at-risk during a pandemic—in the SARS outbreak, for example, one-fifth of the victims worldwide were health care workers. We should have a system that gets them protective gear. Always. We should have a system that tracked and took seriously the pandemic when there were intelligence briefings about it at high levels in January. We should have health care coverage not based solely on employment and where you live (because only some States considered it important to expand health care access).

Quite frankly, it pisses me off. I don’t want to applaud individuals on the front lines because I don’t want to JUST applaud individuals on front lines. I want to make it so the front lines are safer. I want to acknowledge that a nurse working 12-hour shifts is limited in what she or he can do (and even limited in whether she can speak up when she has inadequate PPE or sees safety risks). She or he shouldn’t have to be heroic to do their day job.

We shouldn’t have African Americans and Navaho nations succumbing to a disease at X times the rates of White Americans because they have been systematically denied quality health care for their whole lives, and for generations before today. Hell, I’ve read articles about even at a hospital level, some hospitals have huge high-profile donations in Manhattan, while others in the Bronx are barely gasping for air. Your hospital shouldn’t need a celebrity PPE drive to be able to protect your employees.

Arguably nurses and doctors and medical staff in ICUs, hospitals, care facilities are heroic every day because they have been on the front lines of this broken, inadequate system their whole careers. Nurses and doctors deserve more than clapping into thin air. They deserve action, policies, and justice.

Besides the intractable complicated systemic challenges, everyone one of us can practice personal responsibility. Our front line workers deserve Americans being responsible for other people’s health instead of only caring about their own damn selves. This myth of individual freedom being greater than all communal good is FATAL. Last week, there were Covid-parties to spread the disease among young people. I’m going to say that again. Authorities in Washington State broke up a party specifically held to expose people to someone with Covid. Those people hadn’t even considered passing the disease along to someone more vulnerable—they just wanted immunity for themselves. What rock are you living under? WHY do you think governments across the world are tanking the economy? For fun? NEWS FLASH: It’s to save the lives of the most vulnerable among us in society.

So yeah, I guess I don’t really feel like clapping these days. Even for the heroes. Health care workers still serve people who might vote against better health care, stand in grocery stores without a mask because it’s too inconvenient to wear one, or have a Covid party. Those health care providers are still going to treat you when you come in and need a ventilator. Because maybe you were one of the people who lives in a food desert and must travel far to get healthy food. Or can barely make rent and has to keep stocking grocery shelves. I do not want to imply that everyone who gets sick is irresponsible! That feeds the exact same self-defeating myth of the great, AMERICAN INDIVIDUAL who can surpass all the inequitable systems, systematic racism, and structural problems.

To tell you the truth, I don’t know why all these pandemic problems aren’t solved yet. I have clearly solved them during all my thinking between 3 and 5 am every night. Also, I have devised a way to keep all the puzzle pieces on the too-small puzzle table and remembered I need to clip the cat’s claws. I am very productive in the middle of the night these days. But I digress. One of the reasons we returned from Spain was to make a difference here rather than avoiding the US (and also because our kid was sad, but that’s not relevant to this blog).

So, what to do? Here are 7 things to DO after you clap. If you want to suggest other great organizations working on these issues, please put them in my Tumblr or Facebook comments. Or DM them to me.

1. Tell congress to increase protective equipment for nurses, now. According to the American Nurses Association, some nurses are being forced to reuse masks or other PPE in their facilities – creating unsafe conditions for both nurses and their patients. Call or write your Representatives and Senators and demand they #ProtectNurses.

2. Feed the nurses! Call a local nurses unit to arrange for a take-out delivery. This will require research and coordination—be sure to work directly with a medical office or nursing unit manager to arrange this. Or if you are in an area that is not hit very hard, check out this organization that is feeding nurses in New York City: https://www.feedthefrontlinesnyc.org/ or Google other organizations across the country doing this.

3. Feed other vulnerable communities. You can help #chefsforamerica safely distribute individual packaged meals to vulnerable communities affected by the Covid-19 shut down. The World Central Kitchen is providing needed work for restaurants while feeding people in need across the United States: https://wck.org/chefsforamerica

4. Tell the health care systems, hospitals, organizations and nursing homes in your area that you care about the safety of medical workers and patient caregivers. Send one of the following articles to your local large health care systems with a letter that you care about them helping their employees. They even argue my point “Organizations need not and should not outsource gratitude entirely to the public. This process starts with leadership”: 1. https://www.ama-assn.org/delivering-care/public-health/caring-our-caregivers-during-covid-19 2. https://www.contagionlive.com/news/how-organizations-can-support-health-care-workers-during-coronavirus

5. Make sure your local police responses to social distancing laws and opening the States are EQUITABLE. See this NY Times article about the NYC enforcement for example: Scrutiny of Social-Distance Policing as 35 of 40 Arrested Are Black Hold your local police office accountable.

6. Volunteer with a Get out the Vote campaign for the national elections. This can be a small amount of your time. If you are an extrovert, volunteer to text or call people to remind them to vote. If you are in introvert (like me) find a post card or letter writing campaign (https://www.mobilize.us/swingleft/ or https://postcardstovoters.org/volunteer/) . Or look at the list of candidates in Flippable and donate to some key races for Senate. Even small amounts make a difference.

7. Check in with your friends. Especially your friends who are teaching, or have small children, or anxious kids, or are older and isolated. Ask if they need a delivery of food, help with childcare (if you are able and they are comfortable), a coffee break shared from 6-feet away. We need these things too.

#protectessentialworkers protectnurses flippable chefsforamerica voteblue

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critgemhero · 6 years ago

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Personal rant about life being... God awful for me right now.

Ok but for real, my country is so fucking awful and I hate being here and I live in a very conservative republican area of an otherwise progressive city and slowly over the years realized how pretty much almost my entire family and my closest friend and his family are all Trump loving assholes who are complicit and careless about the disgrace and chaos brought upon by this cheeto asshole leader and I am so mentally fucking exhausted and everything hurts and I am isolated as fuck and cannot deal I am slowly losing my mind every day thinking about how the few friends I have, and even technically myself to a smaller extent cuz I am able to survive off of being kinda closeted and passing, are suffering under this awful country's current regime because me and my friends fall under some if not all catagories like not white, transgender, lgbt, and more. How the people I am FORCED to be closer with would reject and treat me and my closest friends like lesser than human (not my parents, but everyone else) because they support this nationalist fucking asshole and have no soul or heart for what he and the GOP have done to this country. Finding out your lifelong best friend has just been slowly getting more socially conservative over time thanks to his sister's obnoxious-ass fiance has been so fucking hard for me. I am too socially inept to reach out to the few friends I do have and reconnecting with the best friend only to find out how he feels about gender being binary is the fucking worst and I want to just... cry and stay in bed forever. I am so fucking depressed by these mass shootings, hate crimes, attempted home grown terrorist bombings, treatment of immigrants seeking asylum, I HATE BEING HERE and I have no choice. I am so sorry to those waiting for Critical Crack 16, because I've been lying to you. I occasionally work on it but not nearly as much as I put on, barely at all. I am just so fucking tired and depressed and all I do is play Spiderman and listen to Twenty One Pilots while scrolling Twitter and Tumblr all day trying to numb myself from the constant pain. I feel like I am constantly drowning and I am too heavy and the current is too strong to swim back up. I tell myself I'll get better tomorrow, the next day, the next day. You'll get that haircut next week. You'll finish your freelance job tomorrow, you'll go outside to Gamestop to pick up that Pokemon Card Tuesday. And none of it happens. I am stuck here in this dreadful neighborhood and house drowning. I just... I can't take it anymore yet I have no strength or will to change anything because I CAN'T. My family and close friend's family disgusting ignorance and heartlessness won't change, this neighborhood voting for a nazi supporter just cuz he has been senator for 18 years won't change, our country won't change. It's all gone to fucking shit.

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girlgotattitude448 · 2 years ago

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I don’t usually post personal things here, but I need to empty my brain after the past 24 hours.

Last night and today, my university community experienced a mass shooting that left three students dead and two more injured.

Our community has experienced so much violence in recent years, and each time, old wounds are reopened on top of new ones.

Personally, this is the first time I have been affected by this violence, albeit indirectly. I am still reeling, as I’m sure everyone else in my community is as well. I stayed up until 5 am waiting for any news, until I could barely keep my eyes open. While my university was under a shelter in place order for 12 hours, students barricaded themselves in buildings across campus, fearing for their lives. I was luckily at home in my apartment when we first received the emergency alerts, so my fear felt more removed but nonetheless still real.

I’m writing this on Tumblr because I’ve always appreciated the community and safe space it’s provided me over the years, and I didn’t want to disrupt the grieving process of fellow community members on other social platforms. I also needed a place to express my thoughts and feelings away from the eyes of others, a feeling of anonymity if you will.

That being said, I feel so guilty for feeling awful when other people are grieving the deaths of their children, their friends, their classmates, and their students. I know this is survivor’s guilt, but am I a survivor? Last night, I spent hours glued to my phone, sending out texts and waiting for more information on the suspect who had yet to be apprehended. During all of this, I still felt somewhat safe. And I feel ashamed for saying that when so many people didn’t. I was still able to sleep for 5 hours when others didn’t sleep at all. I woke up and had breakfast and watched a movie with my roommate. As soon as we finished, I was back to my phone retweeting updates and resources as I could not stop thinking about the violence that had visited my community yet again.

I responded to so many text from family and friends. I called my parents. I took a nap. I laid on the floor. I cried as I read the messages and stories shared online. I literally could not make my mind think about anything else. I cried some more. I watched another movie, and the brief suspension of reality was somehow worse than the first time I tried to distract myself. As I lay awake in bed, I’m once again thinking about my community and the lives we lost. I’m still incredibly devastated and feeling and processing and I don’t know if what I’m feeling has words to describe it. But also, I’m now so angry.

I’m angry that I live in a country where mass shootings, especially at schools, is commonplace, where guns are a right. I’m so fucking pissed that I can’t get away from the many posts about who is winning what race in the midterm elections when so many politicians are unwilling to do what it takes to pass comprehensive gun reform laws and to protect us. I’m also mad that I’ll see family and friends again who will think that I’m okay, recovered and continue their lives, voting for people who do not care about gun reform. Friends and family who are all too willing to help normalize this mass violence.

I know this post is nonsensical as I get my thoughts out, but I felt compelled to write it as my school and community disappear from the headlines, the trending lists, and your current thoughts.

We have so much grieving ahead of us. So much work to be done. But I’m still hopeful. If doomscrolling today has taught me one thing, it’s that my community is resilient. Even though we shouldn’t have to be, we are strong and resilient and we will take care of each other in the coming days, weeks, months. However long it takes.

I also wanted to take the time to thank my support circle and my peers. You all are what’s gotten me through this past day and what will continue to get me through the rest of this semester.

As a student journalist, I’m also so grateful for my fellow student and local journalists who continued to provide the university community with crucial updates even as they experienced this tragedy with us. I understand people’s frustrations with news media, but these journalists in the past day have done such important work and they should not be hated for it. While national outlets flooded our town, intruding upon our lives (even publishing an article that recapped tragic events in our community from recent years), local journalists told our stories with care, as only people also experiencing this violence could. I have always admired the work of reporters, and while there are always frustrations and problems with covering mass shootings like this, I’m thankful for our local journalists today.

As the media outlets disperse, onto the next tragedy to fill their 24 hour news cycles, and as we disappear from the trending lists, know that we’re still here, grieving and processing in their wake. It’s unreal to me how my feeds are slowly starting to fill back up with the usual content. People, some of whom I know, have posted their requisite sympathy posts and are returning to their regularly scheduled content. I can’t really say much against this since I’ve likely been in this position during previous tragedies (and it’s awful that this is far from the first).

But a recent post really hit home for me: they really don’t tell you what it’s like as the world moves on around you. How has our school and town disappeared from trending pages? How can you post anything normal? How does the world keep going when ours has frozen? I don’t know. I really don’t know.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read. I love my community and I’m so proud of my peers for coming together during this time. I know we will persevere, but the road ahead is long and the destination fogged.

Take care of each other. 🧡💙

#trigger warning: gun violence #trigger warning: violence #trigger warning: mass shooting #gun violence #mass shooting #gun control #us politics #school shooting #journalism #reporting #local news #local journalism

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letsimportanttreecollection-blog · 6 years ago

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Reading Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 19610

"Reading Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 19610

Reading Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 19610

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Cost of insurance for a Motorcycle?

I'm in Montreal Quebec. I'm 18 and wondering how much the insurance will be? I heard since I'm under 25 they will make me pay $5000 a year for insurance. Is this true? If not what is your estimate?

How much money could i save on my car insurance by switching 2 geico?

Maternity health insurance question?

My son may be the father of a child, due next month. If paternity test proves him to be the dad, can her insurance go after his insurance to pay for the prenatal and delivery bills? This is in New York State""

17 cheap car insurance??

i live in the u.k im searching for car insurance for when i get my car does anyone no any car insurance companys that do cheap car insurance for my age or comparing sites. iv already tried compare the market and confussed.com links would be amazing thanks guys X

Looking for Affordable Health Insurance Rates?

I'm looking for a website that offers affordable health insurance rates.Please suggest me the best site

First car insurance help.?

Hi, I just bought my first car today. It was a Ford Ka 1997 1.3L. I am at college and have only 210 income per month. I don't know which would be the best type of insurance for me. I need to be insured for at the latest 24th April 09. Should I do monthly or annually. I did an annual insurance quote over the internet and the cheapest I got was with Endsleigh for 1500. What would be the best method of payment for me? Thanks very much for any help.""

Insurance policy?...?

My mum n dad are insured on a car and are going away next week for 2 weeks and said I can get insured on their car. But their insurance will not insure anyone under 25. I don't think you can have 2 insurance policies on one vehicle but not sure, so can you? How can I get round this? If I got a temp insurance the police would only give me a warning, yeah? Personal Information: 19 year old male with a 2 year driving license and 1 year NCB Pass Plus obtained""

How do I get cheaper car insurance?

I am trying to get my first car so I can drive my girlfriend and myself to work everyday. I am 19 and have had my license for about a year, I am going to get an older car a early 90s which I know lowers the insurance and live in new york and just getting the new york state bare minimum insurance. Even with that the quotes I am getting are around 200 dollars a month! About $2500 a year! About twice what I am paying for the car. Is there anyway I can save some money on this?""

I need to get health insurance. What is the best affordable insurance.?

I travel within the united states so i need to be covered where ever i go. I can only afford 60.00 a month.

Age Of 16 to fill up a car insurance quote?

why car insurance agent put 16 on car insurance quote even you got your license when you were 18...?

""I got a speeding ticket in Indiana, but I live in California?""

I plan on paying the ticket (Indiana court told me to send $138), but I want to know if I need to go to traffic school? If not, does a record go on my California license and my insurance would go up?""

Who is the best auto insurance agency?

Currently have USAA, but it seems that they just charge for the general population rather than going into more personal charges. Since they are not locally based in NV, they charge for all the other boneheads out here rather than my own driving record.""

Reading Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 19610

Do i need insurance to get a title transferred into my name?

I just bought my first car, and i have never had insurance. i live in pennsylvania, so can i go the the title transfer place and get it done without insurance? ill get insurance the next day, but insurance companies will not accept me until the title is transferred?""

A few questions about SR-22 Insurance?

Alright, so I'm getting slightly annoyed of the DMV as I've visited them three times already an had literally no progress made in all those lame visits... Anyways, I only got insurance so I can drive, but my car has failed smog three times now so that wont be happening and I'm now paying non-owner SR-22 insurance. Here are a few questions I have about the SR-22 and any input would be much appreciated. 1) What are the exact consequences if I choose to cancell my non-owner SR-22 insurance? I acknowledge that I will have to restart the process all over again when I want to reactivate it, but will the price be raised even more and the time frame? 2) Who do I call to find out how long I have to have SR-22 insurance; DMV or Local Court? 3) When does the SR-22 officially get activated, when the judge orders it or when I first started paying for the insurance? (I'm asking this because the insurance company I'm with is saying I shouldn't cancel because it will restart; I got the DUI 2 years ago and acitvated the insurance about 2 mounts ago.) I'm planning on going to a 4 year college so I don't want to be paying not to drive...! *I live in California if that helps you answer the question.""

Is there any programs in Tennessee (US) to help single mothers with car insurance?

I know this isn't the right catagory (I posted it in the correct one also) but I usually get good, helpful answers here so please try to help me! I am a single mother and I do work, but it's only seasonal, as of right now (there is talk I might be hired on full time but the hours would be very slim for a while after the holidays...it's retail). I was attending college online and I paid 6 months of car insurance with my living allowance from my student loans...well..my (ex) partner lost her job and we had to move and I was going through too much stress with a newborn and moving and everything that I had to quit school...now in December my insurance is due again and I am not going to have the money. I just started working so I haven't made any money yet. Is there anything to help me pay car insurance? I am trying my best make a better life for my daughter and I, but it gets soo discouraging working but still stressing soo much over money. I am trying to take care of my student loan but I have to come up with like $1500 to pay at least half of what I owe before they will give me another loan to go back to school and get a degree and I do not have that kind of money and with little family support no one will loan me that much. Please help me I dont' know what my options are right now.""

Car crash insurance? Insurance?!?

Ok, I crashed my toyota corolla 1997 from the back, the guy didn't have insurance, a license, or papers!, the guy who crashed me had a ford escape or explore. anyways I made a claim thru my insurance (Mercury Insurance), they approved the claim and are offering me the money for my car ($3,000) but a $500 deductible, do I get to keep my crashed car or will I have to give my car to Mercury Insurance?! Thanks!""

Where to get car insurance quote?

How much does type of car vary the insurance rate?

I am 18 and am going to be licensed in about a month or so. I am thinking about buying a first car but I'm just wondering out of curiousity, how much would insuring a 2002 BMW cost more than let's say...a 2002-2004 Honda Civic? I'm looking at the civic but if they are in the same price range, I would rather buy the BMW. Yes, I know about the Honda gets 50 mpg and BMW will cost more to maintain, etc, etc but I'm just wondering, would BMW insurance cost a lot more for a old model?""

Average insurance price for a Speedfight 2 (16 year old male) ?

could anyone please tell me the average insurance price for a Peugeot Speedfight 2 red wrc 50cc moped 2006 ---- for 16 year old male, no modifications just 3rd party, locked up at night with the cheapest price?? any help/info is helpful -- thanks alot :)""

Cost of insurance for a Subaru WRX STi?

Hi all, I will soon buy a Subaru WRX STi for commuting from home to work, but I am a college student. How much will it cost for the car to be insured under my mother's name? (53 year old female, perfect driving record). Thanks! Xela""

Why the heck is insurance so high?

So I'm 17 trying to get insured on any car from a 1-1.2L DIESEL. I've tried practically everything and it's so expensive. I get quoted 15,000 for a MINI COOPER S and 12,000 for a corsa. The area I live in insurance is low. I passed in july and I really need a car. Any suggestions for cars or insurance?""

How does my driving record affect my parents insurance rates?

In Illinois How does my driving record (20 F) affect my parents auto insurance if I'm not on their policy? I have my own car in my name and my own insurance policy in a different company than theirs. I do have 2 points on my record from a collision back in Oct. of 08' shortly after I got my license. Even than I had my own car and own insurance. I do live at home but I don't drive any of their cars ever.

When can i refinance my car loan ??

i bought a car on June 5th this year ( 200-7-) Now i pay around 425 dollars for it every month , and as per insurance around 198 . i make around 750 dollars a month . i am doing this because i want to be independent from my parents. If i don't start somewhere then i will never be on my own . anyway emotional stuff aside..hehe. When can i refinance my loan , currently it's around 6-7% I think my credit score went high , my equifax is 669 , when i checked right now on creditinform.com. I have chase bank , you think they can lower it ? do you know how much lower they can go ? around 300 maybe? i am goin to take defensive driving class also , i heard that saves a lot of money also on insurance.. Please help , : ) thanks , have a nice day.""

Do insurance companies look into your driving record?

When getting an auto insurance quote they ask if you have any major violations. Do they only know if u tell them, or will they eventually find out of u lie?""

""Obamcare, how is it enforced?""

So, the single mothers of 3 children. The one who's flipping burgers for 12,000 a year income, She's going to pay $100 a month for insurance, or she will be in violation of the law, right? When she doesn't pay the $100 a month, she's a criminal, right? We're going to fine her $2,000? If she doesn't pay the fine, we'll throw her in jail? Really? This is the plan? Does anybody else see how ridiculous this whole thing is???""

Is Circumcision covered by health insurance?

Hello i'm 17 years old and i live in Florida. And i'm probably going to get circumcised soon because i have phimosis. I'm wondering if health insurance covers it because i ...show more

Is this good fuel consumption & cheap insurance group?

I have found a car and the specs sa the following fuel consumption and I wanna know if it is good or not as im looking for something more economical. Fuel consumption (urban) 43.5 mpg Fuel consumption (extra urban) 65.7 mpg Fuel consumption (combined) 55.4 mpg Also it says the insurance group is 7, is this going to be quite cheap?""

Can your car be towed if you have no insurance?

Can your car be towed if you do not have insurance on your car? I was in an accident where the other car did not have insurance on the car that was not his. The police gave us a ticket, which it was our fault, I'm not denying that, but the police drove off not having the car towed . It kinda makes me wonder if the cop let them go with no ticket or anything.""

Need help with insurance!! getting ready to buy a car?

need some help with estimated insurance costs for a 16 year old with a 2002 pontiac firebird. i'll have farmers insurance and i will have the discounts for having a 3.0 gpa and another discount for taking their test. Please help estimations help

""Does your primary car insurance extend to rental cars?If so, does it really cover all expenses of an accident?""

Ever since I switched to Geico, I have verified with them that my car insurance policy extends to rental cars whenever I rent them out. Which is great, because it saves me money by waiving all the extra rental companies insurance surcharges per day. However, a recent alamo agent informed me even though i maybe saving money and my primary carrier extends to the rental car sometimes geico may not cover everything. Such as time of replacement. The time lost to the rental car company when geico works out the replacement of a total loss rental car. This maybe a hoax for me to buy alamo insurance, but I wanted to know from those experienced should I worry? Does primary insurances really extend to rental cars and do they cover everything i may encounter if I was in an accident? Would my credit card rental car accident insurance cover what my primary wouldnt cover? Curious...thanks""

How much is 21 century auto insurance?

Can health insurance coverage be dropped for a single department in a company? (Pennsylvania)?

I currently live in PA and my employer has said they will drop health insurance for my department, but not another department in the same company. I did some research online to see if this is possible or not. I originally started this job with guaranteed benefits and now they are being taken away. I was reading somewhere online (unsure of credibility, website is as follows:http://employee-benefits.lawyers.com/Employee-Benefits/Employer-Workplace-Benefits-FAQs.html) that a company cannot take away a certain departments health benefits and retain another departments. Below is the Q&A question from the stated website above: Q: Is my employer required to provide health benefits? A: Employers are generally not required to provide any health benefits. Only the state of Hawaii requires employers in the private sector to cover employees who work over 20 hours per week. Union contracts may include provisions for insurance as part of the agreement. However, health care and other benefits such as life or disability insurance are generally offered by employer as a means of attracting and keeping their workforce. If an employer does provide health coverage, federal law requires the employer to provide Consolidated Omnibus Reconciliation Act (COBRA) to an employee who loses her job for any reason outside of gross misconduct the opportunity to maintain coverage up to 18 months at her own expense. This applies to companies with 20 or more employees. Some states also have laws with similar protections for employees who work for companies with less than 20 employees. Generally, it's not illegal to provide health benefits only to some classes of employees (for example, only to full-time employees but not to part-time employees). But once the eligible classes are established, an employer cannot withhold insurance from some members of the class while offering it to others. The employer can require employees to follow the rules of the plan, which may require an employee to fulfill a waiting period or wait for an open enrollment period before joining. An employer can usually change, or even eliminate, a health plan, but must follow the rules and guidelines of the Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA). I understand they cannot choose and select who receives and who does not (I interpreted this as discriminating between employees). I do not know health legislature very well, and if anyone could provide some information it would be very appreciated. As for me, I am going to try and find more information out about this. Thank you.""

Is this what health insurance companies and Conservatives think about people with preexisting conditions?

USA Insurance for New Immigrants?

Hello!! I would like to inquire about medical insurance for new immigrants in the state of Florida. We have been here for 1 year now and who or what organization should we turn to? I have heard that a lot of them are expensive. I was told that we could get family insurance through employment -- but at the moment, my mom is the only one working with us, 3 dependents. So suggestion?""

How much is insurance for starting a cleaning service in California?

HELP with car insurance for 17 year old?

I am trying to find cheap car insurance for a 17 year old :/ its proving hard and cheapest quote so far is 3500 with my mother as named driver. does anyone know any companys that specialise in young drivers insurance or ways to reduce it?

How much would insurance be for a 1998-2001 mitsubishi eclipse for me?

im 16 and i need a car i would like to get a mitsubishi eclipse like a 1998-2001 model but I dont know how much my insurance would be. like i said im 16 and my grade point average is about a 2.5-3.0 (i get D and C) so if any one know plz share with me, thanks!""

Reading Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 19610

I was in an auto accident without insurance. What am I facing?

I was in a car accident yesterday. I live in California. I had no insurance at the time, although I was unaware that my girlfriend had not sent in my quarterly paryment and was actually driving without insurance for almost 3 months. The day after the accident I went in to the Highway Patrol's office and spoke to the officer who took the report and informed him I discovered I had no insurance. He didnt seem all that concerned and thanked me for going in. As for the accidnet itself, I belief I will be found at fault as I did not brake in time and rear end a small car who in turn hit the car infront of her. I was traveling at about 30 mph when I started to brake and I heard the firefighter at the seen tell the chp he thought it was 25-30 mph. If anyone could tell me what I am facing legally and finacially. I read online I will automatically have a one year driver's license suspension. Is this accurate and is this all? WIll I ge a ticked or fine? I would also like for someone to rule out jail time. The driver immediately infront of me had good damage to the back of her car and was taken to the hospital with minor injuries. Her daughter called me the day after the accident and told me she was at her house but wanted her car fixed soon because she wanted to return home in another state. I suggested she call her own insurance and let them know I was inot insured. THe other driver in front and her passenger were also taken to the hospital with minor injuries and their car had minor damage when I looked at it at the time of the accident. I have not heard from them. Financially can anyone tell me what I am facing? I understand I will be responsible, but I also understand that the other parties' insurances will have to cover their own drivers. If so will I simply be responsible for their deductable. I am more concerned with the legal aspects than the financial. I am an single father of three and need to be there for my kids. Thank you to whoever can help!""

Health Insurance Cost - Private option or School option?

For those of you who have experience about buying health insurance, what is the average annual cost? And usually, what is the minimum cost for basic health coverage, vision and dental coverage? (Particularly in the U.S.) Should I buy health insurance from a private company or from my university? Thanks a lot for your time.""

How do I get two speeding tickets from 2006 to not show on my record for insurance? ?

I have two tickets from 2006. One in March and one in Dec. I took DD for the one in December yet they both show on my record when I try to purchase insurance. My quote went from $304 to $1000 for six months. This was Geico which was a little ridiculous if you ask me. Anyway I can get them to now show on my record?

Motorcycle insurance for 16 year old male price in ontario?

im looking to buy a 2001 Harley-Davidson sportster 883 for my first bike what am i looking to pay for insurance

Insurance quotation question?

hi my car was recently hit from behind by a third party at the time my brother was driving using his own insurance everything has been sorted out by the insurance company's do i need to declare this on any future car insurance quotes?

Can I drive a classic car as a daily driver while it has collector car insurance?

I want to purchase a 1966 Chevrolet Impala and I found one in my area for a really good price. My mom's boyfriend knows how to work on older cars so repairs and labor costs wouldn't be an issue (unless it'd be something he can't do with his hands like taking the engine out or something) and I am a senior in high school and live about a mile from my school (I know it's not far, but walking through inclement weather or on slippery sidewalks is a hassle sometimes). Can I use a classic car as a daily driver while it has collector car insurance or would I have to insure it with regular car insurance?""

Where can I get the best car insurance rates?

I have been on the same plan for 10 years now and they charge $165 each month which is ridiculous. Any idea what is the best company to get a better insurance rate?

Work Insurance for Teen?

My daughter will be voluteering at a Veteriray's surgery/office in the Summer holidays. She was told she'll need work insurance. We live in Ireland but do not have family insurance. Where can I get her this insurance for the time that she will be working/volunteering at the Vet's surgery/office/farm? I'd very much appreciate any leads please. Thank you.

Will my mom's car insurance go up because of my speeding ticket?

Ok...I was driving my mom's suburban truck...I was doing 45 in a 35. I am not on my mom's insurance but the ticket is in my name in my mom's truck. The ticket is 81.50...I only had my license for a year...my mom never had a ticket...ever...so her insurance is like cheap...she gas state farm...will her insurance go up? I don't want to tell her.

Does your license get suspended for not paying insurance?

My car was considered a loss. how do insurance co. determine how much to pay for the car? 2001 toyota carolla

A four door CE model. No major problems some small scratches and dents.

Whats the Bmw M3 insurance like?

im a 16 year old female in Florida and im looking into getting a 2002-2003 Bmw m3 in august.I was wondering if anyone else has one and could tell me what the insurance would be like. haha

Life insurance?

has anyone every heard of national benefit life insurance company of ny ny? i got this letter from them in the mail and im a bit scheptical of it... lemme know so i dont pour all this money into it and end up with nothing kthanks xoxo

Can i transfer moped insurance from one bike to another ?

ive got insurance on my piaggio fly 50cc which expires august this year, i can no longer drive this bike as i accidently got super glue all around the breaks and throttle and it wont budge, im going to maybe buy a new moped today for 300 and was just wondering if i get this do i have to cancel my old insurance and get a new quote and pay all that money again or cani just ring my insurance company and transfer it from my old bike to my new bike? thanks for any help! :)""

""For each car you own, you need car insurance for each one, right? How much do they usually charge?""

I don't own a car, so I don't know.""

How much will insurance be for me per month for a used nissan 350z yr 2003-2004?(full coverage)?

I am 19yrs old and this will be my first car. My credit score is 662 and I work full time earning 9$ an hr for 2 yrs now. Will insurance be a lot for me? How much averagly? 200? 300? 400$? I need to know before I buy it from the dealer... thanks!

What's the cheapest car insurance for a young driver?

I know this is a common question but what is the cheapest car insuance for a you driver I'm only 20

Our daughter has just passed her driving test ( aged 21 ) does anybody know of any cheap insurance companies ?

We are willing to buy her a small car but the insurance quotes she's getting are idiotic.

Who knows a lot about car insurance?

So, here is my situation: I'm 17, I have my driver's license but I'm pretty sure I have to be 18 to get car insurance. I can afford a car but I can't get the insurance till I'm 18. In Maine, it's illegal to drive a car without insurance and I wouldn't anyway becuse it's retarded. My boyfriend is 19, he does not have his driver's license but he his over the age of 18...So, I was thinking could I buy a car and put it in his name then could he get insurance for me even though he doesn't have a driver's license?""

How do online insurance quotes know the cars I own?

How do online insurance quotes (via Progressive, State Farm, etc.) know what cars I own based only on my name, address, and birth date? What kind of database houses this information?""

Uninsured Motorcycle Driver Question?

Recently a friend of mine wanted to purchase a motorcycle that he found a super great deal on. Because his credit is very average he asked me to purchase the cycle and he would make me payments plus interest. I agreed and took out a loan for the bike. However a few weeks later he decided it would be ok to take the bike out for a spin UNINSURED. He had a run in with several trick or treaters and their parents. Since it was an unlit road, they were in the middle, and he was going under the speed limit. The cops ruled it not his fault. However now two insurance companies are coming after me to subrogate the liabilities. Since he was the driver but I am the owner. What are my rights? Can they still blame him? Am I liable?""

Should i go through the whole car insurance thing?

Hey guys, so someone rear ended me this morning and im debating whether or not to file the claim through the other person's insurance company since im pretty sure it would be his fault. But i'm debating whether or not i should even bother becuase the damage is very minimal ( theres only a small imprint of the rectangle from the guys license plate.) But i got in a car accident about 8 months ago which ended up being my fault. so since the damage is minimal to my bumper, i'm not sure its worth the hassle and the possibility of my rates going up, even though not my fault. should i just let it go? or file a claims through the other persons insurance, and if i do, do i have to call up my own insurance company as well? or by filing the claim through the other company, they'll take care of it? thanks for all the input.""

""Best insurance business (All State, Farmers or State Farm)?""

I am seriously considering becoming an insurance agent for State Farm, Farmers or All State, but I don't know which company is the best choice for me, I am bilingual in Spanish, so I am looking for a company that is going after the Hispanic Market. I have heard some bad things about Farmers, so my decision might be State Farm or All State. Nationwide is doing a great advertising campaing in the Spanish market, does anybody know if they offer agency jobs. I am open to other suggestions. Any help/Suggestions is very much appreciated. Gracias""

What cars are cheap to insure for 18 year old?

I've just passed my test and I'm trying to find cheaper insurance, I'm not bothered what car as long as it's not expensive. The black box isn't suitable for me please don't suggest that. The other thing is, what insurance company is good""

""Any good, affordable companies to get life and disability insurance from?""

Any good, affordable companies to get life and disability insurance from?""

Reading Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 19610

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/list-cheap-car-insurance-young-drivers-alan-patterson"

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singingwordwright · 7 years ago

Text

(Untitled) Rock Star AU: Chapter 2

I think I’m going to keep this on Tumblr for now, at least until I have enough written or at least plotted to commit to a regular update schedule on AO3. Then I’ll edit, have it beta’ed, and post it over there.

For now it’s just going to be a casual thing I update when I feel like it. And since we’re probably not going to get any more goodies for the show this week, this seems like a good time.

Chapter under the cut. See end for more notes.

You can read the first chapter here.

Magnus craned his head around to peer over the back of his chair. “Tell me you have news for me, Raphael.”

“I have news for you.” Even Raphael’s deadpan delivery wasn’t enough to quash Magnus’s joy at the announcement. He stared eagerly, expectantly, but Raphael just stood in the doorway of Ragnor’s office, stone-faced.

“You’re going to make me ask for it, aren’t you?”

Ragnor chuckled. “I’m sure he just figures the more opportunity he gives you to blather on and on now, the less he’ll be interrupted later.”

“I don’t blather,” Magnus sniffed, turning back to face him. “I’m simply concerned that any hype I managed to generate while I was on the show will die out before I release my damn album.”

“You have to stop worrying about that,” Raphael said calmly. “Getting people excited for you is a job for Idris Records’ marketing department now, as well as your eventual publicist. Your job is making music. Let them find the audience for it”

Magnus clenched his fists to keep from wrapping them around Raphael’s throat. “But I’m not currently making any music, am I? Because I don’t have a band!”

“Tsk tsk. Be kind to your voice now,” Ragnor chided. “We don’t want to have to put you in vocal therapy before you’ve even produced your first single.”

They were winding him up. The damnable part of it was that Magnus knew they were winding him up but it was fucking working anyway.

“Did Santiago-Fell Talent get a sizable portion of my advance from the label or not?” he asked softly, gritting his teeth. “If you did, then I’m paying you to find me a band, so tell me you’ve found me a band!”

Raphael strolled into the office and slid into the other chair facing Ragnor’s desk with his usual silent, almost otherworldly grace. “We haven’t exactly found you a band...”

Magnus threw his hands in the air, wishing he had something to fling. “Seriously?”

“...But we may have found you something better.”

Magnus glanced from Raphael to Ragnor, who wore a cat-in-the-cream smile and was practically rubbing his hands together in glee. Clearly whatever news Raphael was baiting Magnus with, Ragnor already had the scoop on.

“This is why you don’t hire friends to be your agents,“ Magnus muttered.

They continued to stare at him.

“I’m waiting,” he sing-songed, hoping his bared teeth looked more like a smile and less like he was ready to literally bite one of them.

Ragnor folded his hands under his chin. “How would you feel about singing for The Nephilim?”

Magnus blinked. Then blinked again. That satisfied smile never left Ragnor’s face.

He glanced over at Raphael, who lifted his eyebrows in a silent, yes he’s serious.

“The Nephilim?” Magnus shook his head in confusion. “What in God’s name makes you think that would ever work?”

Ragnor frowned, looking affronted. “You like The Nephilim.”

“Yes I do. They’re catchy as hell and it’s obvious they’re exceptionally talented musicians whose music has been dumbed down by the label to make them more marketable in their target demographic. But when they dropped their first single, Alec Lightwood was the only one of them old enough to vote. Max’s voice hadn’t even changed yet. Their audience is, like, tween pop. Which is fine, because they make really good tween pop, but that’s not my audience.”

“Reality check: you don’t have an audience yet,” Raphael pointed out. “Your popularity is based on performing covers.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “Okay fine. But they were covers of harder, edgier songs meant to appeal to a more mature audience. That’s the demographic I’ve been targeting.”

“It could also very well be the demographic the surviving members of The Nephilim want to capture moving forward after their tragedy,” Ragnor said, and leaned back in his chair.

Raphael nodded. “They’re rebranding. And I don’t just mean they’re trying to expand their repertoire or gradually change their sound. We’re not talking about The Beatles’ psychedelic/experimental period from Rubber Soul onward. I mean that The Nephilim are actually retiring. The surviving members are seeking a drummer and lead singer to form a new band from the ground up. I’ve been talking with Isabelle Lightwood all week and she says they’re looking for an entirely new sound and image.”

“Let’s not forget, either, that The Nephilim’s original audience is all grown up now,” Ragnor pointed out. “They are presently torn between a shameful affection that they just can’t shake for their dreamboat adolescent idols and self-consciousness over their fluffy tween pop phase. They want edgier, more mature music as well. Remaking themselves may be the only way Alec Lightwood and Simon Lewis can hold on to their audience.”

“And Jace Herondale,” Magnus added.

Raphael shrugged. “He’s a talented bassist but everyone knows The Nephilim owe their success to Lightwood and Lewis’s songwriting.”

“Herondale is also the potential downside to this whole scheme,” Ragnor said darkly. “If he doesn’t emerge from his stint in rehab fully reformed, the new band could have a very big problem on its hands.”

“The sobriety pledge Lightwood and Lewis are asking the new members is promising. Rumor has it, Morgenstern was the real bad apple,” Raphael said with a slight grimace.

“Or he was just the fall guy—” Ragnor began, but Magnus cut him off.

“Sobriety pledge?”

Raphael gave him a knowing look. “Isabelle was quite moved by your tweet thread about responsible indulgence.”

“And I was being perfectly sincere, but that doesn’t mean I plan to stop drinking entirely!”

“Not entirely. Just when you’re in the studio with the band. Or on the road with the band. Or socializing or attending events with the band.” Ragnor really was taking far too much pleasure in Magnus’s spluttering.

“I would be delighted to disembowel either or both of you right now,” Magnus gritted, glaring from one to the other.

“Does that mean I should tell Isabelle we’re not interested?” Raphael asked, smirking.

Magnus narrowed his eyes. “Scratch that. Disembowelment is too good for you. Of course I’m interested. Jackass.”

“Good choice.” Raphael pulled out his phone, his bland expression conveying how unimpressed he was by his impending evisceration. “They want you in the studio with them ASAP. I’ll set up a time and text you the location.”

Entering the soundproofed studio in the walk-in basement of Simon Lewis’s modest Los Feliz house sent an unaccustomed frisson along Magnus’s nerves. Which was ridiculous, because Magnus Bane did not get nervous. Magnus Bane did not get stage fright. Magnus Bane had never once so much as stammered during his stint in that stupid competition show, despite there being a new celebrity guest judge and guest performer every week.

He simply hadn’t ever anticipated that he would need to impress the musicians he ended up working with. He’d assumed they’d be hired specifically to work with him, not the other way around. This felt less like walking into a jam session and more like walking into an audition, only more momentous. The auditions for the so-called reality show hadn’t ever made him feel this way.

But then he hadn’t really cared about the outcome of the competition. His goal had only been to make it on stage for at least a few rounds, where he knew he could turn in performances that would jump-start his social media following. Everything had worked according to plan until the moment Raphael and Ragnor decided to hold off locating backup musicians for him and instead floated this notion of integrating with the remnants of The Nephilim.

Isabelle Lightwood had answered the door for him, and she was every bit as impressive as industry gossip had touted. She slipped her arm through his, leading him down a short hallway into the studio. “Alec is running a few minutes late, but I’ll introduce you to Simon, Jace, and the new drummer. Beware of Simon, he’s a talker and also a big fan.”

A talker and big fan, Magnus could handle. He was more concerned about Jace, who seemed a little pale and gaunt, obviously still underweight despite having spent 60 days at what Magnus was sure must have been a top-notch rehab that was probably as much a health spa as a place to convalesce post-detox. Ragnor’s point about Jace—despite Raphael’s attempt to deflect him from the subject—hadn’t missed Magnus.

Jace was the person here most likely to torpedo this whole endeavor before it ever got off the ground. They would need to watch him very, very closely.

Magnus shook hands with both of them, smiling blandly at Simon’s cheerful babble. Jace, despite his famed charm and notoriously fun-loving, laid-back attitude, was subdued and seemed almost nervous. Watching from the corner of his eye as Jace tuned his bass, Magnus wondered if maybe he wasn’t the only one who was aware of how much of their potential to succeed or fail rested on Jace’s shoulders.

That was a hell of a lot of pressure to bear, especially when someone was trying to stay clean.

“—And this is Luke Garroway, who has done some amazing studio work for Pack Howl and just finished touring with The Clave after their drummer had to have rotator cuff surgery,” Isabelle said brightly as Simon bounced on the balls of his feet, beaming at Luke.

Magnus leaned carefully across the drum kit to extend his hand. “Glad I’m not the only new face here. Was that you on Pack Howl’s latest album? Because I was blown away by the drums when I listened to it. Great work.”

“That was totally him!” Simon enthused before Luke could do more than smile and murmur his thanks. “Wasn’t ‘Prowl’ a great track? Man, I had that on repeat for weeks.”

“Absolutely.” Magnus nodded eagerly. “In fact, it sort of influenced some of the ideas I was tossing around for the theme I wanted for my first album—when I thought I was going to be doing it solo, of course.”

“Yeah, like what?” Simon asked, apparently not at all affronted by the idea of hearing Magnus’s ideas, even though he and Alec Lightwood had always been the creative minds behind The Nephilim’s music. Magnus would have expected him to be more territorial, but instead he seemed genuinely curious, glancing back and forth between Magnus and his equipment as he slung his guitar strap over his shoulder and plugged it into an amp.

“Well, I was considering—”

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” a new voice called.

Alec Lightwood, all six-feet-whatever of tall, dark, and handsome, literally had to duck through doorway. Basements tended to be a little low to start with, and the thick layer of acoustic paneling soundproofing the studio meant that Alec’s head nearly brushed the ceiling.

He looked different than he did in concert and interview videos, of course. Instead of being gelled into a calculatedly careless tousle, his hair looked fluffy, hanging across his brow, and his t-shirt and jeans were a little less tailored to cling to his torso and legs than the ones he wore on stage.

Somehow, that made him look more scrumptious, rather than less.

Before anyone could greet him, a tiny human who barely seemed to reach Alec’s knees streaked past him into the room. “Aunt Izzy! Uncle Jace! Uncle Simon! I lost my first tooth!”

“Hey, Gid, my man!” Simon crowed. “Gimme knucks.” The pint-size newcomer fist-bumped him and then showed Simon something resting in his palm. “Oh yeah, let’s see it. Awesome, that’s a big one! Is the Tooth Fairy bringing you money?”

Small fists balled up to rest on small hips. “Tooth Fairy?” Gideon gave his aunt a look as if to say, Is this guy for real?

“What?” Simon spluttered indignantly. “No one’s ever told you about the Tooth Fairy? Alec, what kind of upbringing are you giving this kid?”

“The kind that doesn’t involve extorting money for every tooth he loses?” Jace interjected quietly, and that bit of banter with Simon was the first remark Magnus had heard him make that sounded like the Jace Herondale he knew from TV and web interviews. He rubbed Gideon’s head briskly, and his smile seemed a little more solid than it had before.

Predictably, the kid only latched onto a single word of that. “Money?” He glanced up—way up—at his dad. “The Tooth Fairy will bring me money?”

“Uh, um, yeah, totally,” Alec said, sounding flummoxed. Then he folded down into a tight squat to get on his son’s level, and something about seeing him do that made Magnus’s heart flop over in his chest. “Hey, buddy, remember what we talked about? You’re going to be in the control booth with Aunt Izzy. She’ll tell you all about the Tooth Fairy and fill me in later. Got your coloring books and tablet? Okay. Don’t come out of the booth while we’re playing. It’s gonna be too loud for little eardrums.”

“‘Kay, Dad.” Gideon smiled a gap-toothed grin. Alec kissed his forehead, then stayed squatting as his son took Isabelle’s hand and disappeared into the sound booth. Only when they were gone did Alec take his eyes off them and rise.

“No school today?” Jace asked, clapping Alec on the shoulder before returning to his bass.

“Some sort of teacher in-service day. Lydia has meetings and his after-school nanny is sick,” he said with a sigh, brushing his hands on his jeans. The left, Magnus noticed, as now devoid of the wedding ring Alec was known for always wearing. His divorce had barely been a whisper on the gossip blogs after the more sensational scandal of Max Lightwood’s death and Jace Herondale’s trip to rehab.

Then Alec turned to face Magnus, and the sight of him full-on drove the breath from Magnus’s lungs. He had always assumed the gold-flecked hazel of Alec’s eyes and the lushness of his long, dark lashes were the product of really good lighting and makeup in photo shoots, but if anything Alec was more striking up close and personal.

“Hi, you must be Magnus.” Alec smiled bashfully and that, too, was a revelation. He was known for being the serious one, the grown-up whose straight-man act tempered Jace’s fuckboy flirtiness, Simon’s class clown routine, and Max’s puppylike excitability. Magnus wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Alec smile in an interview, and in the photoshoots where he did so, it always seemed a little forced.

This? This was the real deal, up close and personal.

Color crept up Alec’s cheeks and Magnus realized he was staring. He extended his hand.

“Sorry, I got distracted by seeing you with your adorable son and forgot we hadn’t been formally introduced. Yes, I’m Magnus Bane. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Alec. I’ve admired your music for years.”

Alec’s smile flickered, turned a little incredulous. Clearly Magnus wasn’t the only one who felt that the simplistic mold their label had pressed them into had done their talent a disservice. Their growth as musicians had been artificially stunted until even the man who composed most of their songs doubted its quality.

Clearly at a loss for words, Alec turned away to introduce himself to Luke, which led to Simon chirping up again, “Oh, yeah, Magnus was about to tell us about some of the concepts he was tossing around for his solo album! I figured since we hadn’t yet decided on what we really want our new sound to be, maybe we should hear what he was thinking.”

Alec arched an eyebrow and looked Magnus up and down as if taking his measure, then ducked behind the rack of keyboards and began turning them on. “Yeah, sure, let’s hear it.”

As he spoke, his fingers tickled the keys lightly, the volume turned low as he tested his equipment. Magnus watched him, mesmerized by the length of his fingers and the dexterity of those huge hands. Only when Alec glanced up did Magnus realize he was in danger of staring again.

“Right. Well, my favorite concept, the one inspired by Luke’s work with Pack Howl, kind of skirts the edge of, like, old school prog rock. You know, themed albums where each song is a piece of a larger story.” Alec frowned, and Magnus could see the arguments forming behind his eyes. No one really did progressive rock much anymore; the label would declare it unmarketable. Magnus shook his head and pushed on. “Without the intellectual pretensions or psychedelic influence, I mean. People shouldn’t have to be high or have advanced degrees in classical literature to really get it.”

“How do you figure that would work?” Simon asked, brow beetled thoughtfully.

“Make the narrative that threads its way through, from track to track, something more in keeping with modern-day pop culture. Approachable to anyone who isn’t living in a cave.” Magnus rolled his eyes and pulled up a stool, sitting to face them so they all formed a circle. “Like, maybe a story about superheros, or—my favorite—an urban fantasy tale about demon hunters.”

“Like, what, The Walking Dead?” Alec asked, his lips pursed. His fingers never stilled on the keyboard.

“Or Teen Wolf! Constantine, Grimm, Supernatural, Hemlock Grove!” Simon rattled off, and Magnus laughed.

”All of that. And we’d each play different parts, right? Not like role play,” he said quickly when all of them started to look alarmed. “Not cheesy or overt. No costumes or makeup or acting. It’s more accurate to say the instruments would do the heavy lifting rather than us or even the lyrics. Word painting, in a way, with the instruments acting out the story.

“For instance, you, Simon—” Magnus pointed and stood, approaching him. “You’d be a—a vampire! Not a sinister, centuries old creature of the night, though. Not a predator. An college student who gets bitten and turned against his will, and now you’re pulled into this world and you don’t know how to navigate it. You’re trying to be a normal guy but you have these impulses you need to fight to control. Now...convey that using just the guitar.”

“Really? A vampire? Hmm.” Simon tilted his head inquisitively and closed his eyes, as though hearing the chord progressions in his head. A soft melody blossomed from his fingers on the strings and slowly crescendoed as he found the character in the music he was making. The sudden, harsh sliding chord assaulted their ears, erupting into several loud thrumming power chords that abruptly pulled back, resolving into the original melody he’d started with. “Something like that?”

“Exactly!” Magnus chuckled and started pacing, excitedly gesturing. “You take that sort of notion and work it into whatever the song we may be playing, let it inform your approach. I know it sounds like some weird musical inception shit, but, like, your guitar is that character, and that character is performing whatever song we’re on in the set list. So the only time it can be obvious is maybe when you’ve got a solo. You get what I’m saying?”

Simon nodded eagerly. “Oh, yeah, totally!” he glanced past Magnus at Alec. “If we can make this work, it could be really awesome, dude.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Alec agreed with a thoughtful tip of his head, then looked at Magnus. “Keep going. Give us the whole picture.”

Magnus dropped him a wink. “Thought you’d never ask. Jace, you’re a warrior.”

“What kind of warrior?” he asked, stroking the neck of his bass with a frown. “Another vampire?”

“No. You’re Nephilim, of course!” Magnus beamed when they all laughed. “I’m serious. You’re a half-angel demon hunter, the best of the best. You’re fierce and impulsive. Your bass line should be rapid and unpredictable, always trying to drive the tempo faster, always ready for a fight, a challenge.”

Jace nodded and started in on something that first reminded Magnus of the acid-rock-esque bass line in Heart’s “Barracuda” but which quickly differentiated into something else entirely. Magnus grinned and headbanged along for a moment before pointing at the drums.

“Let me guess,” Luke said wryly. “A werewolf?”

“Not just any werewolf—the alpha werewolf,” Magnus called back one of Simon’s sliding chords shrieked along Jace’s driving bass. “The leader, wise and patient, but savage when necessary. When the hothead over there starts to get too far ahead of himself, you rein him in, keep it steady. His kind, they don’t always get along with your people or Simon’s people, so there’s conflict there, but also the potential to work together for a good cause.”

Luke pursed his lips and jumped in on the off-beat, playing in counterpoint to Jace for several bars until they shifted to sync up so seamlessly the could have been doing it for years. Simon hooted gleefully and laided a new chord progression over their rhythm.

“So if I’m a vampire and Luke’s a werewolf, is there conflict there?” Simon had to shout to be heard. “That’d be a little Underworld, wouldn’t it?”

Magnus shook his head and they all slowly faded out until he could be heard without trashing his vocal chords.

“No, maybe there could have been, but your relationship with Luke has history that makes it more harmonious,” Magnus explained. “He’s a mentor to you, a father-figure.”

Simon grinned brightly at Luke. “Hey, just like real life!”

Magnus blinked in surprise, but before he could ask, Jace smirked. “So I guess that leaves Alec as a wizard?”

“I’m the warlock,” Magnus replied, sniffing. He made a sweeping gesture with his hands. “It gives me something I can express physically, since I’ve only got my voice and the lyrics to play with, and it’s not supposed to be that overt.”

He glanced over to see Alec arching an eyebrow at him, as if to ask, Yeah? So what am I, then?

“Alec’s also a demon hunter,” Magnus said, watching him thoughtfully. “The other half of Jace’s team. But he’s not a scrapper, like Jace. His skill is archery. He’s steady, focused, mysterious, laser-beam precise. He can get in there and dust it up if necessary, but he favors strategy.”

“Mysterious, how?” Simon asked avidly.

Magnus shrugged. “Maybe that’s for us to figure out as we go. He’s a man with secrets,” he purred. Alec frowned and narrowed his eyes, then looked down at his keyboard. From the way Jace and Simon went still, Magnus suspected this was how they’d done their composing for The Nephilim. Alec would lay something down and they would build around it.

It was a heavy, expectant moment, and then it began. A single trilling chord slowly crescendoed, then resolved abruptly into a different chord, hard and staccato. Magnus could almost see a bowstring being drawn back and the arrow being loosed as though it were playing on screen before his eyes.

Then they were off to the races. Alec’s allegro chords were a little reminiscent of “The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway” but with a slightly darker undertone, bringing to mind images of hunters running down their prey. Jace joined in after a few bars, his bass line a thrumming heartbeat, pounding with the thrill of the chase. Luke’s counterpoint rhythm threw the whole thing into confusion, suggesting something else was stalking the night, and the shriek of Simon’s guitar called into question who was hunting and who was the hunted.

Magnus let them riff for a while longer, ironing out any wrinkles until it came together smoothly, then grabbed the microphone and kicked in with a quickly improvised adaptation of lyrics he’d been working on for months now.

They say there’s two sides to every story As they sharpen their knives and shroud themselves in glory

Might makes right Got the angels on their side But what justice lies in store At the point of a sword?

It was clumsy and cobbled-together, but somehow also perfect. Perfectly full of potential, perfectly full of opportunities to improve and transform it into something amazing.

Alec led them through a transition and key change and they all fell in line like ducklings.

Duckin’ under sightlines Tryin’ to avoid the frontlines Keepin’ my head down Dodging heat from people whose heads never bow

They keep comin’ for me I just want to live, just wanna be Never good enough in thought, deed, or word When’s it time for my side to be heard?

Magnus could feel it, that sense of rightness, of having tapped into something special. It swelled under the music, running through them all like an electric current leaping from one person to the next until the circuit was complete.

When he glanced at the sound booth, Isabelle was beaming through the glass as though she’d won the lottery.

Magnus grinned back and began improvising another verse.

They worked for hours, recording the bare bones beginnings of half a dozen songs that they—particularly Simon and Alec—would polish and refine until they were ready to lay down the tracks for real.

Three of those were more fleshed out than the others, and though no one said it, Magnus knew they were all imagining the way those songs could segue into into one another in a medley. When played live on stage, those songs could easily become a true, fifteen minute long suite, hearkening back to the idea of old-school prog rock that Magnus had led with.

On the album, however, they would probably separate the tracks, to make it a little less obvious what they were doing when it was interspersed with a label-pleasing number of bops, ballads and anthems.

Magnus grabbed the cup of tepid slippery elm tea Isabelle had appeared with when she’d returned from one of several trips upstairs throughout the afternoon, along with one of the face towels off the stack she’d laid on a nearby stool as they’d all worked up a sweat. Even Simon’s perfectly adequate air conditioning wasn’t enough to keep them from overheating.

Luke, Simon, and Jace’s t-shirts had ended up in a sopping pile near the door, while Alec’s dark gray tee was nearly black and clinging to his torso quite attractively. Magnus felt damp and probably a little ripe as well.

Simon glanced at his phone and gasped. “Crap, I need to go. I’m gonna be late!”

“Tell Maia I’ll call her later this week,” Isabelle said with a fond smile, emerging from the control booth, leading Gideon by the hand. He rubbed his eyes and staggered a little, clearly having just woken from a nap.

Jace and Alec groaned in unison.

“Don’t talk about that sort of thing with us here!” Jace groused, batting away the towel Simon flung at his face as he rushed out of the studio.

Then Simon popped his head back around the door. “Luke, tell Clary I’ll pick her up coffee tomorrow morning,” he said, then rushed off again.

“Who’s Clary?” Gideon mumbled, all but falling into Alec’s lap as Alec sat down on the floor to receive him.

“Clary’s a friend of Uncle Simon’s,” Isabelle explained, squatting beside them. “And Luke there is her stepdad. He’s the one who got Simon interested in music, but then they moved when Clary’s mom got a job in Europe, and that’s when Simon joined The Nephilim. But Clary’s mom went away last year, like your Uncle Max did, so Luke and Clary came back home just when we needed to find a drummer. Lucky us, huh?”

“So that’s how you ended up playing for a German band like Pack Howl,” Magnus observed.

Luke nodded.

“Hey, little man,” he bent low and held out his open palm. Gideon give him a groggy high-five and Luke chuckled, something a little sad hovering around the edges of his smile. He straightened and looked at Isabelle. “I gotta run. Clary and I were gonna grab dinner tonight.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” she said with a gentle smile. “We can set up a time for you and Alec to debrief about how you felt things went musically today, make sure you’re on the same page there? And if you are, I’ll talk to our lawyer about the contracts.”

Luke nodded. “Sounds good. Talk to you soon, Alec. Great work today, Jace. Magnus, I thought your ideas were excellent. This is gonna be good.”

“It was great to work with you, Luke. Can’t wait for our next session,” Magnus said, waving with his cup of tea. The tea was really only a prop at this point, though. With this energy sizzling along his nerves, high on creativity and the overwhelming sense that the group had all really clicked while they were playing, he hoped he might have a chance to debrief with Alec a little now instead of making an appointment.

When Luke was gone, Jace sighed wearily. “I need to go rest,” he murmured. “Good work, Magnus. See you later, Gidlet.”

Alec frowned. “You sure you don’t want to come stay at my place?”

“Nah, I don’t think I should be around Gid until I’m feeling more like myself. As long as Izzy promises to order takeout, I’ll be fine.” He smiled wanly and slipped away before Alec or Isabelle could protest.

“Is Uncle Jace still sick?” Gideon asked solemnly.

Alec sighed and kissed his temple. “Yeah, he is.”

“But I thought he went to the special hospital to get better.”

“He did, sweetie,” Isabelle replied, stroking a hand over his dark hair. “But it’s not the kind of sickness you get better from all at once. The hospital got him over the worst of it, and he’s going to get a little healthier every day until he’s all better again. It will just take some time. But as long as he stays with one of us and doesn’t try to go home alone or anything like that, we’ll be here to help him through it.”

Gideon nodded thoughtfully. “Okay. If he decides to stay with dad, he can sleep in my room while I’m at Mom’s house. It has Captain America.”

Alec smiled. “I bet Captain America would definitely help him feel better,” he agreed. “I’ll be sure to let him know you made the offer.”

“Captain America’s kind of old now. My new room at Mom’s is gonna have Wonder Woman,” he announced.

“Good choice!” Isabelle hooted, high-fiving him.

Loath as he was to interrupt their family scene, Magnus was starting to feel a little creepy, hovering there while they spoke with no way to bring the conversation around to how Alec felt things had gone during their jam session.

“Well, I should get going,” he announced, setting down his empty teacup. “We’ll do our post-game roundup another time, Alexander?”

Alec’s cheeks seemed to darken slightly as his eyes flicked quickly over Magnus and then back up to his face in a cruise so swift and subtle Magnus would have missed it if he hadn’t been on the lookout for it.

“Um, y-yeah. I, uh, I-I need to get Gideon to his mom’s house soon, so I— I, um, have to go soon, myself.”

Isabelle glanced from Alec to Magnus and one corner of her mouth turned up.

“Why don’t you let me take Gid to Lydia’s place tonight?” she suggested, beaming. “We were having fun together in the control booth earlier and I have nothing going on tonight. You and Magnus need to talk about how the session went anyway, so you might as well do it while it’s still fresh in your minds? Especially if Magnus is going to have the sort of creative input it appears he will; that’s totally different from the way the band used to work.”

Alec’s brow furrowed and he looked at his son, who craned around to meet his eyes. “What do you think, buddy? Want Aunt Izzy to take you home?”

“You can show me your plans for your Wonder Woman room,” Isabelle added.

“Yeah!” Gideon shouted and scrambled carelessly off Alec’s lap, resulting in a muffled grunt that had Magnus wincing in sympathy. “I get to ride your car! Can we put the top down?”

Magnus smiled as Gideon dragged Isabelle out the door to transfer his booster seat into what would no doubt turn out to be a very stylish convertible.

“Don’t forget to tell Mom about the Tooth Fairy!” Alec called after them, then sighed heavily. “How much money is the Tooth Fairy even supposed to leave in today’s economy?” he muttered, standing to dust himself off. He glanced uncertainly at Magnus.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” Magnus said before any opportunity for an awkward silence had a chance to set in. “Would you care to have dinner with me, Alexander? Then we can talk about the music.”

On to Chapter 3

AUTHOR’S NOTE: There’s a musical technique called Word Painting (and if it has a more formal name I’ve forgotten it in the ~25 years since I learned about it) where an instrument or instruments imitate what the lyrics are describing.

A good example of that would be in Bob Seger’s “Hollywood Nights” at about 1:11 (listen to what the piano does after “They watched the waves tumble over the sand” and you’ll hear the piano is imitating the waves.)

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Another example would be at 4:50 seconds of “Driving the Last Spike” by Genesis. Listen to the tumbling descent of both the vocal part and the drum part on the line “Stone fell like rain.”

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Actually Genesis is a good place to look for the kind of more modern prog rock Magnus is describing in this chapter, especially their later stuff rather than the old-school variety in the Peter Gabriel era. Check out "Driving the Last Spike” for more straightforward storytelling, and then also “Home by the Sea” for a slightly more abstract prog rock piece (gotta love a band that makes a song about a cat burglar getting stuck in a haunted house.)

Pay particular attention to the second part of “Home by the Sea”, from around 4:30 onward, once it becomes wholly instrumental. That’s Tony Banks on the keyboards, whom Alec compares himself to in Chapter 1 of this story. It’s really his skill at the keyboards that stands out about Genesis’s music.

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If you enjoy those songs, feel free to check out the rest of the Way We Walk Live Tour in 1992. It was really a great concert (and one I actually almost got to go to, but not quite.) Again, listen closely to Tony Banks on the keyboards, because I take a lot of my inspiration for Alec’s playing from him. If you listen to the Old Medley starting at around 24:50, you’ll hear part of “The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway” which I mention in this chapter (you can find the camera that focuses solely on Tony in this video here: https://youtu.be/wXm6jH0z324?t=129).

#shadowhunters #malec #fanfic #my fics #rock star au #addiction cw #character death cw #long post

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byrd156 · 4 years ago

Text

Nov 3rd

I forgot who did the comedy routine but it went a little something like this.

“Women have diaries. Men have manifestos because when guys starting writing stuff down. Shit is about to go down.”

I like this bit, makes me laugh. I’m trying to get back into journaling for myself. I need more outlets. To do what? I have no idea, I’m just trying anything at this point. I’ve been really inconsistent this year with my writings whether it’s for film, books or fun. I have been journaling, every other month or so I get a solid week which is something I have never done before. I have tried to keep a diary, journal or log of my life since middle school but always gave up a few days into it. I never really use my tumblr so maybe I’ll turn it into a place for my mad ramblings. I don’t expect or care if anyone reads this. I want to start getting all these thoughts out of my hard drive. Maybe it’ll help me or someone else thinking the same things. I have no idea. I’m just here to ramble and try to feel better in some shape or form.

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It’s early morning, around 3 AM, as I write these words to myself. It is election day. I can’t sleep. How can I on a day like this? Every thing in my life has been up in the air for so long that I never thought a major aspect of it might begin to correct itself. This election can become the start of an actual future for America and most importantly humanity again. There is so much that still needs to be worked on and fixed but it’s the first step. I feel dread and worry with the slightest, tiniest bit of hope. Imagining a life for myself that doesn’t end with the ecosystem dying and my children and children’s children growing up in extinction level conditions lets up for a moment. Maybe that doesn’t have to happen. Maybe I can have a happy, healthy existence with a family of my own without worrying about the “future”. It’s something I’ve never really entertained because of the aforementioned ecological collapse. It would be selfish to ride out as the last generation of a normal life, having kids, finding love and access to the modern middle class lifestyle. Before handing over a diseased, stripped bare world that has no future for them. I should do something. I voted. What can I do as one person? I have no power. Powerlessness is a defining trait of mine.

NO FUTURE.

These words terrify me. Every day is the same. I am the same. I never change yet time still takes and takes. I should have learned something. I should be better by now, right? What future am I moving towards? Am I building anything? Is streaming even anything? Does anyone care about it? Does anyone care about me? How far behind am I in my career? Why and what am I even doing? I am a muddled mess of contradictions, self-loathing, fear, anger and desperation. When I sit and try to even examine what I am feeling and why, I slip away. I push those feelings somewhere else. I can’t explain why I’m angry, just that I am. I hate myself but I can’t say why. I need love but can’t find the words to express. Connection with others is the only way I truly ever feel like me. This is the one truth that I know of myself.

I am feeling. I can’t explain it. Round and round these thoughts take me. I am no further than I was back in June. More pretentious words that probably don’t even mean anything.

Focusing on the real life parts of my life right now. I have hit affiliate on Twitch. I have a few subs which are just my friends, which is nice. It’s a starting point. That’s pretty much it. I haven’t been writing. I haven’t been doing much of anything. I either sleep, stream or talk to her. She is my favorite aspect of my life right now. These are the 3 pillars of my life and it’s probably not very healthy. I am exercising again so that’s a win. Also I’m talking to a wide variety of people on a pretty frequent basis. It’s better than I was in June in that regard. Having only really 2 people I talked to in my life during that point in the year.

With the election about to happen, I think back to my previous writings. Will I move to New York? The East Coast seems to be calling me. It’s ripe with opportunity and those important in my life. Yet the pandemic still rages. I can’t stand being here in Kansas, I NEED to leave. Yet the pandemic STILL rages. Reality and what I want are at odds. They always seem to be but grow each time they clash. Going to FL for school, moving to LA, leaving LA to save my mom (a year of myself sacrificed), restarting my life again for the 4th time now.

I am a phoenix cursed to be born again over and over and over. I have no handholds of my own and I feel looked down on for it. I know I look down on myself for it. I’m 22 in a constant cycle of restarting. That has to be on me. I just want the gun to sound and not be pulled back to the starting line. I want to grow and expand as a person. I can’t do that here.

It has been an hour later. 4 AM. What was all this for? I’m probably not even going to remember what I wrote in the morning. I should sleep.

#ramblings #what am I doing #3 AM #gn #I really can't remember where I heard that routine and it's killing me.

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thank-your-lucky-stars · 7 years ago

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A few things....

I’d really appreciate it if my followers could take the time to read this post, as it explains a few things that I have been holding back for some time.

Some of you might’ve noticed my absence recently. I was really ill from the middle of June; I got a bad chest infection from nowhere, and I couldn’t work or leave the house in weeks, apart from a couple of trips to the doctors (who put me on antibiotics) all I did all day was try (and fail) to sleep. My queue happened to run out just as I got ill too, which meant my blog became abandoned for the first time in.....years.

But I’d reached a bad point just as I got ill anyway. I’ve mentioned briefly about having no confidence on tumblr anymore - something which is really upsetting for me, as this blog has been a huge part of my life for almost 7 years now. It’s a place where I can express myself like no other, and fandom has always played a big part in that, as I have quite a lot of free time and even when I’m working I often have free time too (I work in little shops in little towns, and sometimes there’s simply nothing to do but piss about online), so tumblr is a big occupier of that free time.

Anyway. The Robron fandom has been really important to me for quite some time now. As a long time viewer of Emmerdale, I was so happy when I realised a fandom had been born here on tumblr - especially as that sort of coincided with my previous fandom deteriorating rapidly, due to it being overtaken by trolls.

I’ve spoken about what Robron mean to me, and how I latched onto them during the most difficult time of my life, and there was a point where they were probably the main reason I got out of bed in the morning, which is so fucked up but it’s also true. The fandom also became a huge saving grace for me, having a place where I felt safe and valid and important after watching my old fandom be so horribly ruined; I had all of that there once, until it was overtaken, until me and several other people in that fandom were targeted by some really disturbed individuals who resented the fact that we run popular blogs. It was upsetting and....creepy. Like seriously, seriously creepy. But above that it made me feel really unsafe here.

And then I felt like I found a new home. People were so nice and friendly and this fandom was a lot bigger and more active and I loved that people wanted to talk, that people used their voices and expressed themselves and I just found it so inspiring and a wonderful thing to be a part of.

And then The Incident™ happened, and there was a big shift. The divide was so obvious. Some people....changed. I didn’t like the way there seemed to be “sides” - the people who were managing to be positive, and those that weren’t. As someone who really struggled with what happened on screen, I definitely felt looked down upon by some corners of the fandom (note: this isn’t ALL the “positive” vs negative people, not at all. Most were respectful and understanding), and I didn’t appreciate the way some people behaved and made people like me feel, just because I wasn’t making excuses for ED or believing all the theories or doing cartwheels about the fact that they were sabotaging our ship right before our very eyes.

I understand how some people needed to be positive and sort of erase the negative in order to stay sane, I honestly genuinely get that, because I’ve been in that place before myself. But the coldness and bitchiness by some people was completely unnecessary and I know it made several people scared to speak our minds. It’s all good and well being told that your feelings are valid but it’s not so nice when you see people virtually mocking you for feeling the way you do. The hypocrisy was like nothing I have ever seen. I know nobody is perfect and everyone can say questionable things, and maybe these people didn’t mean to cause any upset, but to me and from my POV a lot of it was unnecessary and done purposely to shame certain areas of a fandom that was dealing with a lot of crap.

Then a series of things happened to me here directly and personally that shattered what confidence I had left. I did write about what happened, but I’ve deleted it. But about 4 or 5 people here really hurt me, in completely different ways, and two of those incidents in particular have really totally and utterly fucked me up and made me feel worthless and not good enough. In one of those cases, I forgave the person who hurt me and things were relatively resolved but the damage has had a really negative affect not just on how I feel here on tumblr but how I feel in my real life and even with my real-life friendships. It has triggered paranoia in me that I managed to deal with (for the most part) about 11 years ago, but what happened brought it all back and that incident, along with a few other people here (not people I considered friends, but people I respected none the less) doing some pretty crappy things has just....shattered me. It’s made me feel uneasy, uncomfortable, unsafe.....I don’t think these people are bad people, but at the same time what they have all contributed to has left me feeling like a sort of shell of the person I used to be here on tumblr. I used to be confident in speaking my thoughts/feelings, whether it be about personal stuff or fandom stuff or whatever, but now I’m just.....pretty shattered. Some of you know the specifics of these incidents, and your support has meant a lot. But I’m still pretty damaged by these things, as they all sort of happened one after the other, within about maybe 6 weeks or so, right after things went to shit with Robron.

So I feel like I have sort of been ground down to nothing. And I know this is such a small percentage of this fandom, I know the majority here are wonderful people. And even these people who have fucked with my head....I know they’re not bad people. I don’t think they’re evil or anything and I try to hang onto that even though I hate the way they have made me feel. But what they have done is damage me and damage my confidence and I do not know how to fix it. Above my dislike for how certain people have made me feel, I really resent how I have given these people the power to make me feel this way, and to help ruin something that was really special to me. It’s something I need to work on, to not focus so much on the negative/negative people, but I don’t know how to fix it.

And then there’s what’s happening with Robron on screen. I am at a point now where I simply do not care anymore. Whenever I read a new spoiler, I feel nothing. I don’t feel sad or angry because I’m unable to be shocked. I do not care if Robron split or stay together, because this isn’t Robron. Emmerdale have made a mockery of them, a joke of them - they have turned them into a laughing stock. The lack of care, respect and time that have been put into their story since the start of the year is embarrassing and I will genuinely never forgive Emmerdale for ruining such a wonderful gift. Robron were a gift. They were a gift to us but also a gift to the show. I long for the day people stop rewarding ED for the good times last year, and focus on the now, and stop voting for them for awards, or supporting them on social media. I can’t wait for people to just.....not care. For ED to post some Robron teaser on twitter and get nothing but crickets in response. I don’t want them to get hate, I want them to get silence, because silence hurts more. I resent them, I resent Iain and the storyliners, who must’ve smoked crack the day they came up with this storyline. I respect the people who are hanging on, probably by the skin of their teeth, and managing to be positive. Like seriously, I have massive respect for being able to get into that mindset.

But when you’ve loved characters for so many years, long before this ship was even a producers wet dream, and you get to watch the highs and the lows and the highs again.....and then get to where we are now, it is pretty soul destroying. Like I won’t pretend I’m not heartbroken by it. And it’s my fault for getting in too deep, for latching onto them and relying on them the way I did. But I feel like I’ve grieved, like I’ve dealt with it in many ways. Like I’m just angry/bitter about it now. I don’t think they have the power the really deeply hurt me anymore, not like I was hurt when The Incident happened, or when it was confirmed there was going to be a baby. Everything I’ve felt since - even the decent stuff - has been.....weak. I mean two good (Maxine) episodes in, what, 4 months isn’t good enough for me. Even those episodes didn’t pack the punch they should have, because for me, Robron have been ground down to their bones. Like, there’s barely anything left. The flesh has gone. The heart, the soul.....it’s all gone in my eyes.

And I’m not saying there’s not a way back from this. I mean it won’t ever be the same again, too much damage has been done, but if this baby isn’t a thing then maybe in a year or so things could be....alright. But my prediction is Robron won’t be around in a year. I reckon Danny and/or Ryan will leave within the next year to 18 months. Thinking about it, I wish they had’ve left after the wedding. I’d have much preferred Robron going off into the sunset together, happy and in love and married and faithful, than have to witness what we’ve had to witness since the 16th of March.

But it is what it is. I’ll keep watching Emmerdale because I’ve watched it half my life. And I will always “ship” Robron. I will always want them to be happy and find a way back from this, because you can’t just stop caring completely. Not 100%, anyway.

But at the same time, what I feel now is nothing compared to what I felt at the start of the year. And it breaks my heart but at the same time I don’t miss the endless stress over spoilers, or the disappointment when we realise we’re going around in yet another endless circle of: Robron are happy - Robert messes up - Aaron cries - RELATIONSHIP ON THE BRINK: WILL THEY SURVIVE??!!1?1 - Robert does something romantic - fluff - romance - Robert messes up - Aaron cries - rinse/repeat. Like we’ve been doing this since April last year and every time we think things will improve somehow they get worse?????? Like I always (stupidly) thought after they got married things would cool down but NOPE, it got worse than ever, and here we are in this hell-hole of despair and never-ending misery porn. I bet the producers sit up all night trying to find new ways to emotionally torture Aaron and new ways to make Robert look like a dick.

These characters deserve better and I have no time for any of it anymore. I can’t say anything productive or enlightening and I can’t analyse scenes or moments or spoilers because I simply just do not have the energy or the care for it. It literally makes me sick on so many levels that this storyline is a thing that’s happening, I find it so offensive in so many ways and there’s nothing I can say except expressing my horror and disgust, which isn’t productive, and I’m sure it’s boring to read too because everyone has said it all already.

So that is where I’m at. And what I want to say is, I understand if you want to unfollow me, because I’m not going to be posting anything Robron related anymore (maybe one day, I think it’s stupid to say “never”, but as it stands....there won’t be any Robron content on this blog, and it remains to be seen if there will be any Emmerdale content either. I don’t know. I’ll never say never because that’s stupid but the outlook isn’t great right now.)

I don’t want to lose people. This is the shitty thing about fandoms; people come and go. Like I said before, it’s a revolving door. I’ve been in fandoms for about 15 years now. I’ve probably spoken to hundreds of people who I’ve gotten friendly with, never to be seen or heard from ever again after a certain period of time, or once I or they have moved on from said-fandom. I know it’s how it works. I don’t want to lose contact with certain people here just because I’m not participating in the thing that brought us together.

I still have the blog @thank-your-lucky-starrs - it’s sort of a replica of this blog, in a way (same icon, virtually the same name!) - which I made for 100% Emmerdale/Robron, even though I’ve never really used it. I followed a bunch of you there, and I know several people followed back, so I guess if you only care about what fandom/Robron/ED related stuff I have to say, you could always continue following that other blog, if you don’t want to follow me here for personal/other stuff I’m interested in, on the off-chance that some day I want/can talk about Robron/ED again. So you can still follow me but not follow this blog, if that’s what you want.

I’m sort of at a loss to what to do myself, because obviously there is a LOT of Robron on my dash. But unfollowing people is really hard for me....I’m too loyal and it makes me uncomfortable because I don’t want people to think I have an issue with them (honestly, if I was ever to unfollow you and you want to know why, you can ask me and I’ll be 100% honest because I’m not a twat and I respect people and honesty is important to me). I may start unfollowing people at some point on this blog, but keep you all on my @thank-your-lucky-starrs blog, for if I ever want to delve back into Robron land (that was the purpose of the blog in the first place, so I could have a Robron dash and a non-Robron dash, but I chickened out of unfollowing people on this blog because like I said I’m too loyal and I care too much, even about people who probably don’t give a flying fuck about me lmao).

So yeah, this post is long but I needed to say all of this stuff. If you still want to support me and this blog then honestly thank you. If you want to unfollow because you don’t think I’ll be sharing any content that will interest you, I understand (and please feel free to shoot me a message and tell me that, because that would mean so much to me to know that’s the reason you’re unfollowing and not because you think I’m an oversensitive freak!!!). Honesty is something that is really important to me and anyone who knows me well enough will know that I am a really honest person, maybe to a fault sometimes, but at the same time I do think it’s a good thing, because if you talk to me about anything or anyone or any situation, you know that with me I will tell you the truth, my true thoughts and feelings, and I can do it in a way that is sensitive - people can be honest without being rude/horrible, people can be honest with tact and care, which is what I always try to do (but several people don’t know how to do that!!) so what I’m trying to say is.....you can be honest with me too. As long as the honesty is delivered with care and respect then that care and respect will be reciprocated.

I don’t want to lose people just because I have lost this fandom. The fandom is a collective but it’s filled with individuals and so many of these individual, unique people are kind and special and I don’t want to lose you. I am trying my very best to be strong and to not let myself be robbed of so many of you. Your support has always meant more to me than words can describe.

I’m going to shut up now but if you’ve read this then, as always, thank you.

#mine #personal #this is very important #it's about my blog and my feelings and about you guys #about how i may not be offering the content you want to see anymore #about my feelings for robron #because i've really reached a dead-end with robron #and i explain that a bit #i mean some of you already know #but i'm just clearing some things up #and i want people to know i understand if you don't want to follow me anymore as i won't be posting about robron #but please read my post #because i say near the end that i don't want to lose people #people this fandom is a collective but it's also filled with individuals #and many of you are wonderful #and i don't want to lose you #but i also understand if i'm not giving what you want to get #but please feel free to reach out to me #because all of this is really hard for me #and writing this took ages #and i edited it a lot #a lot of the personal crap #there's a lot of personal crap at the start #because i'm in a bad place #but i'm trying to be proactive #and i was going to run away and just abandon this blog for like months or something #but i shouldn't have to do that

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raybansandcoffee · 7 years ago

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In the Heat of Los Angeles - Chapter Eighteen: Feeling Good (Michael Buble)

If you need to catch up on any or all of the first seventeen chapters you can find them here. I am in the process of reformatting them on Tumblr to make them easier to read so bare with me during this process.

“Good morning,” Harry said, his voice still cracking with sleep. “How are you feeling?”

“Like a new person. Thank you for yesterday,” I replied as I moved in the bed snuggling up to him. “I know I’m weird on my medication and I was still sort of out of it last night for dinner.”

“You weren’t weird on your medication.” I gave him a look and he started to laugh. “Okay, you were extremely weird and it was almost like you weren’t you for a while.”

“I’m not me. I’m some other world version of me.”

“Well I’ve decided I like you better. I’ll happily deal with the other world you if I need to but let’s do everything we can to keep you as well as possible.”

“Everything we can?”

“Everything,” he replied. I hugged him and as I did I caught the book that Dr. Gaines had given Harry before we left his office laying on the night stand next to a pair of glasses. There was a bookmark two-thirds of the way through the book. “I just want you well.”

“Thank you. If you ever change your mind or you think that there is something wrong I want you to tell me.”

“I will. But for now we are going to focus on you being well.” I felt his hand slide up under my t-shirt and rest on the small of my back. “And part of being well is today. Do I need to cancel or are we safe having The Circus over?”

“We are safe. I feel decent. I’ll keep hydrated take breaks in the shade I think it’s supposed to be breezy today which is good.”

“If anything changes you need to tell me. I’ll kick everyone out and it will just be us.”

“Maybe we do that tonight. A just us Saturday night.”

“Like do I get to take you out on a date or like a stay home Saturday night?”

“We will see how today goes. But let’s plan on you taking me out on an actual date. I’d even consider getting dressed up all fancy.”

“I would really like that.” I heard my cell phone start to vibrate on the nightstand. I reached over to grab it. It was Mom calling me, a picture of the us at Wrigley from last weekend popped up on the screen, Harry was photobombing us from the row of seats behind where we were seated.

“Hey Mom,” I answered.

“How are you feeling today, Evie?”

“Better, much better.”

“That’s good. Harry was really worried. He and your Dad have been on the phone I think every hour on the hour for the last two days.”

“I didn’t realize he called Dad. I knew he called Pops because he wasn’t letting me go to work. You called Dad?” I asked looking at him. He nodded.

“He’s who told me how to make the soup for you.”

“God you’re too good to be true.” He smiled at me before kissing me and climbing out of bed.

“He loves you, it’s very sweet.”

“He does love me…about that I suck.”

“You do,” she replied. “Your Dad told me that Harry dropped the L-word on the phone the other morning when he called. He said he loved you and just wanted to make sure he did whatever he could to take care of you. I thought I was going to be the second person you told.” I could hear the joking tone in her voice but still felt terrible. This was normally something I would share with Mom immediately.

“I had every intention of calling you Thursday morning on my drive in to the office and then the gremlin decided to kick my ass instead.”

“I know and you’re fine. I’m just happy to hear that you are happy.”

“I promise you that if we have any other relationship milestones that I won’t let a gremlin prevent me from telling you. We are taking Eliza to London for 10 days before we go to Mexico. I get to meet his Mom and step-dad, I think also his sister and potentially his Dad, we haven’t discussed that yet.”

“That’s good. What do you have today?”

“The Circus is coming over for a pool day. Nothing too exciting because I clearly need to relax after the last few days but the weather is gorgeous and we didn’t get much of a roommate night on Thursday because I was so sick. Eliza and Joe stayed at the house last night so we are just waiting on Kammi, Nick and Ty. Oh and I think Harry is inviting a friend over that he thinks would get along with Ty.”

“Your boyfriend is playing matchmaker with your roommate, it sounds like he’s officially part of The Circus.”

“Oh, he is. He got voted into Thursday’s roommate night at Kammi’s suggestion.”

“That’s good,” Mom said. “I miss you already.” “Me too, Mom. The visit seemed too short. Mexico will be better. We will all have time together and have the whole gang together.”

“I know, I’m looking forward to it more than I should considering how much stuff is going on. The boys are anxious for it because it means that school is out too.”

“I know. It will be good and it will be a great way to spend the last bit of time with Harry before I ship him off to France to film his movie.”

“Your Dad is extremely excited that you’re bringing Harry with you.”

“I’m not surprised and we can only hope that after tomorrow’s day with Pops and Jessica that he’s also excited about having Harry come along.”

“It’s gonna be great,” Mom said. I knew she wasn’t sure of her statement but was at least saying it because we needed to think positively, that was her normal operating procedure, think positive. “Okay well I’ll let you go so you can get ready for your guests. Love you, Evie.”

“Love you too, Mom.”

“Bye Grace,” Harry yelled from the bathroom.

“Harry says bye.”

“Tell him I say bye as well.” I hung up the phone and crawled from bed. I went through my normal morning steps in my attempt to wake up completely.

“I have to say, I like the new addition to my morning routine,” I said to Harry.

“Which is?”

“A little bit of naked time in the shower with you.” His laugh echoed off of the glass walls of the shower.

“I like that addition to my morning routine too.”

“Too bad we got in the shower, we could’ve had a little bit of naked time in bed.” I raised my eyebrows suggestively making him laugh again.

“You should probably take it easy.”

“But…sex.” I was whining and nearly begging.

“You are quite funny sometimes, Evie.” He kissed me softly. It was a nice kiss but not sex. I pouted at him. “Why the pouting?”

“Because we haven’t had sex since Chicago and if my memory is correct, which I mean it’s a bit fuzzy from the gremlin, we haven’t had sex in like a week. I’m going through withdrawal symptoms.”

“Is that all you’re after with me, Everlee? Sex?”

“Umm…no?” Yup, it came out sounding like a question. He could’ve been pissed at that response, instead the laughter started again, louder than before. “I fucking hate you.”

“Liar.”

“I am and a bad one at that.”

“Evie, I love you and sex isn’t everything. I mean sex between us is amazing and one of my favorite things lately but it isn’t everything.”

“I know it isn’t everything but it’s a really fun thing.”

“It is. But today, let’s spend some quality time with each other and our friends. Then tonight we get a date night. Wear something sexy.”

“I like the way you think. Where is this date tonight?”

“I haven’t really thought all the way through with where I’m taking you. But I can say, wear something sexy.” We finished our shower quickly because both of our phones were ringing non-stop on the bathroom sink. I wrapped myself up in a towel and went to go look at mine. I clicked the home button causing the screen to light up. Most of the calls were from Kammi but there was one from Ty and one from my Pops. I saw Harry in the mirror as he walked up behind me in his towel. He clicked his home screen, also Kammi and Ty as well as Ben Winston.

“Well at least the third caller on yours wasn’t my Pops,” I said laughing. I clicked to call him first.

“How are you feeling, Evie?” he answered.

“Much better. Thanks for helping Harry navigate through all of this.”

“It’s a mess but he handled it well. He called me and gave me updates yesterday after you left the doctor.”

“I figured as much. He’s a good caretaker.”

“That’s the kind of stuff a father likes to hear about his daughter’s boyfriend. It’s important that he knows how to take care of you when you can’t take care of yourself.”

Holy. Shit.

Did Pops actually say something resembling nice about our relationship.

“Yeah, it is nice to have someone who can do that. Eliza gave him a little bit of help but he did the majority of it on his own.” I was standing in Harry’s closet and flipped open my suitcase with my foot. It was empty. I glanced towards where I saw a laundry basket before I left for New York, it was empty as well. That was when I looked up and noticed that all of my clothes were on hangers, there was a note attached to a hanger.

Check the drawers to your right.

I pulled open the top drawer to find them full with my clothes that had amassed themselves here over the last few weeks. Everything was clean and folded nicely. There was another note sitting on top.

I thought it was time that you stopped living out of a suitcase.

“Evie?” I had stopped paying attention to Pops. Shit.

“Yeah, sorry I got distracted. Kammi’s texting me.” I was lying. I was a bad liar but at least he couldn’t see me.

“Are we still on for tomorrow?”

“Yeah, come over for the Cubs game tomorrow and then we can do dinner after. First pitch is at like 4:30 or something, right?”

“It is.”

“I’ll have snacks and we can watch the game together.”

“I don’t want you to stress yourself out,” Pops said.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll make Harry help. I’ll text you his address. Just head over at like 4:00 and we can get ourselves set for the game.”

“Sounds like a plan. Jessica and I are both looking forward to it.” He only half sounded like he was lying. We both knew how to read the other but also did a lot of this to shield the other from what was really going on inside of our heads. If it was important we wouldn’t lie, but sometimes fib just a little.

“We are too. It will be nice to all spend some time together.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” he said before we exchanged goodbyes.

“Harry!” I called.

“Yeah, love,” he said as he popped his head into the closet, he was still on the phone. I pointed at the drawer.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Your clothes, in a drawer. The suitcase was starting to drive me mental.” Whoever he was on the phone with laughed loud enough that I heard them. “She’s been living out of a suitcase for three weeks. I did that for too many years, the suitcases give me anxiety and you know that.” He paused. “I feel like I’m being a great boyfriend by doing her laundry and putting the clothes into the closet.”

“Who the fuck are you on the phone with?”

“Ben.” He smiled. I held my hand out. “She appears to want to talk to you.” He handed me his phone.

“Hi Ben.”

“Hi Ev. So you’ve moved in?”

“I’ve been moved in against my will.”

“If you’ve stayed there for three weeks I think you might’ve accidentally moved in.”

“Umm as long as my things were in a suitcase I was just crashing for the night. He’s given me closet space. Not a drawer and a couple of hangers but like an entire section of the drawers in here, a huge section of the hanging part and my shoes are now situated next to his. What the fuck? Is he like OCD or something?”

“A bit clean and I’ve seen your office when you practically move in there. You are only clean because you have assistants and maids."  “You’re walking on thin ice here, Winston.”

“I know and I so enjoy doing that with you.”

“So why are you on the phone with my boyfriend?” I asked.

“We were discussing how he’s setting up one of my writers with one of your assistants. And I needed to check in on that, also I was thinking that we should have dinner tonight.” One of the writers of The Late Late Show was Ty’s set up? I mentally went through the ones that I knew and almost immediately knew who it was that he had invited over.

“Well, we were planning a date night but I think that a double date would be wonderful.” I smiled at Harry who mouthed out ‘thank you’ to me.

“How does a triple date sound? Meredith and I have a sitter for Ruby and were planning dinner with James and Julia.”

“A triple date sounds even better. You four have some inside knowledge on Harry and might be willing to share it.”

“We just might. So I’ll text Harry the details after a bit and we will all see you both tonight.”

“Sounds great, Ben. I’ll give the phone back to Harry now so I can take some time to figure out where all of my belongings are.” He laughed on the other end. I handed the phone back.

“Hey.” He was quiet but started to laugh a bit. “Yes, she is literally in a towel opening every drawer and riffling through them, I’m going to have to straighten them a bit when she’s done in here.” I flipped him off as I shut the third drawer I’d opened. I didn’t even realize I had this much stuff here. I’d been here a lot but I’d been getting dressed at the office most days. I picked up my phone and called Ty.

“Hey Ev,” he answered.

“Hey T. You on your way over?”

“I am. I ended up calling Eliza to make sure that it was safe to come over she said you were doing good.”

“I am. It was a rough couple of days but I feel like a human. I need to take it easy today so no drinking for me but it’s still going to be a fun day.”

“Well, with as determined as your boyfriend is about setting me up with someone today I probably shouldn’t drink…too much.”

“Probably not. But it will still be fun and I miss you.”

“I miss you too. It’s been lonely the last couple nights without you, Eliza or Kammi.”

“I’m sure. So hurry over here, but don’t like break the speed limit or anything.” Ty started to laugh.

“I won’t. See you in a bit, E.” I hung up the phone and started to dig through the drawers looking for a bathing suit, when I found the drawer I found more than I should have here based on the fact that I’d only had one trip to Malibu.

“Harry,” I called.

“Yeah,” he replied. When he walked into the closet this time he wasn’t on the phone.

“There are at least ten bathing suits in here. I didn’t bring ten bathing suits to Malibu. I also know that several of the dresses hanging in here have not made their way here.”

“Umm, yeah about that, I may have told Eliza that she should bring you some clothes when she came the other day. I wanted you to have stuff here and not have to either wear the same things over and over or always get dressed at the office. You’ve been here for the last three weeks, you needed clothes.”

“And you didn’t think to say, ‘Hey Evie, I think you need some clothes here. I’m gonna make you some space in the closet so you can move some stuff in.’ You just moved me in?”

“It made sense to me and Ty when I called him the other day and told him to put some of your stuff together.”

“You are colluding with Tyberius?”

“I might have done that.”

“I don’t really know what kind of reaction to have. The gesture is sweet but also… incredibly creepy.”

“Creepy?”

“Yes, creepy. You colluded with my assistants to move my belongings into your closet and was that my pillow from home on the bed that I slept on last night?”

“No?” Now it was his turn to make an answer sound like a question. I raised an eyebrow at him. “Okay, so Eliza told me that you really loved your pillow. She may have brought yours from home and I switched it out when you were sleeping and then we ordered you another one for home.”

“You two are hilarious.”

“I just want you to feel comfortable here.”

“Ben told me I may have accidentally moved in.”

“You might’ve.”

“This is weird isn’t it. I should stay at home tomorrow night or something.”

“I mean I’d rather you didn’t. I like having you here but if you want to do that you can go home.”

“I mean I don’t want to go home. I also like being here. But you’ve moved me in. I’ve never lived with someone I’ve been in a relationship with.”

“Neither have I. But we aren’t really living with each other. We are spending as much time together as we can right now because we don’t know how much more time we have together before we might be in different places and even if we manage to not end up in different places for now come June, I’m gone for a few months and we don’t know how long it will be before you get to come visit me.”

“I know. We are experiencing this relationship differently than either of us have before.”

“Correct. I’m not used to being in the same city for weeks on end with a woman I’m in a relationship with.”

“And I’m not used to someone who fights to get me to work less and live more.”

“So let’s just take this thing day-by-day and if you decide you want to sleep at home for a night then you can sleep at home for a night. But if you want to stay here, even when I’m not here, you can do that too.”

“Okay, I mean I probably won’t do that. I’ll go home with Eliza and Ty.”

“I know that but I want you to know that if you need time away from them you can have it. It’s quiet here and you really do love the house.”

“I do love the house. I also love my condo.”

“I love your condo too.” I finally found the bikini I wanted and started to change into it. “But you’re always welcome here.”

“Thank you,” I said. I wasn’t really sure how to keep having this conversation. It was like he wanted me to move in with him without actually asking me to move in with him because this awkward conversation we were having was exactly like it should be with us. We drank too much and had what was supposed to be a one night stand before accidentally realizing we enjoyed the other’s company and that we might want to hang out with each other. Now here we were a mere three weeks later and he’d covertly moved more of my belongings into his house so that I felt like I was at home. We were super fucking weird there was no question about that.

Once I’d changed and found a dress to throw on as a swimsuit coverup I headed downstairs. Harry was right on my heels as I left the room. We found Joe and Eliza in the kitchen staring at the coffee pot on the counter. These two couldn’t function without caffeine. I laughed because Eliza had her head rested on the counter and Joe’s was rested on her’s.

“Good morning,” Harry said in his most chipper voice. He was so much more of a morning person than I would ever be.

“Be cautious talking to these two in the morning before they’ve had their coffee.” I heard the machine finish brewing the pot and grabbed four mugs from the cupboard above it. I filled all three of them and added a splash of cream and two sugars to Eliza’s and just cream to Joe’s before turning and putting the mugs in front of them. They each took a huge gulp before I saw their shoulders relax.

“Good morning,” Eliza said.

“Thanks for letting us crash here last night,” Joe added. Harry laughed at the visible difference in both of them after even just one drink of their coffee.

“No problem. Thank you both for the help with Evie while she was sick.”

“Always,” Eliza replied. “So Ty called.”

“I know he called me too, he’s on his way over. Kammi called me as well but we both had a shit ton of missed calls this morning and I called Ty and Jimmy back.”

“She texted me and wanted to make sure she was still supposed to come over and had questions about what she should bring and if it was a drink all day pool party day or a relax all day.”

“It’s a relax all day pool day,” Joe added. “I declared that you shouldn’t be drinking with the way you were still feeling last night. She typically listens a little more to me. Future big brother and all.”

“Future big brother?” I asked. “You know something I don’t know.”

“You’re stupid if you don’t think he talks about marrying her. I think my Mom and Victoria have the wedding planned out already if I’m honest.”

“I wouldn’t be shocked by that. Victoria wants to get to plan that huge New York wedding she’s been dreaming about since she got pregnant with Kammi. When she moved away from the city I knew Vic was a little freaked out that Kammi would fall in love and never want the wedding in the city. Then she fell in love with your brother and I think her only concern is that Nick will want to get married in Jersey which we all know just won’t do.”

“No, it would not.” Joe started to laugh. “Nick won’t want Jersey, he will want whatever Kammi wants.”

“Which might not be New York,” Eliza said quietly. “I mean she loves LA more than any of us which is super fucking weird.”

“I know.” I shrugged before taking a drink of my coffee. “So Joe are you gonna miss Eliza while she’s in London with us in a couple weeks?”

“Of course. I will miss all of you, but I’ll definitely miss Eliza a little bit more than you two. It might be nice to not watch you get all handsy with each other all the time.” I was leaning against the counter when Harry came and stood behind me and bent to use the top of my head to rest his chin.

“We aren’t handsy with each other all of the time.”

“Says the woman who tried to convince me we didn’t need to shower this morning because we could have sex.”

“Shh! Don’t tell them that shit.”

“You don’t think I heard him laughing at you upstairs when we were getting up?” Joe asked. “It was obvious you were either having sex or begging for sex by the sound of it.”

“I hate you all.”

“No, you don’t,” everyone replied. “Well one of the people in this room conspired with another person in this room to covertly move me into this house.” Eliza and Harry both took a drink of their coffee while trying to act innocent.

“I wondered why you spent so much time packing her shit up the other night while I was at the condo,” Joe said. “They moved you in?”

“I have a section in the closet. A rather large section in the closet.”

“I mean it’s not like I gave you half of the closet or something.”

“No but you gave me a third of it.” Harry started to laugh as I turned to look at him. “I have my own home that I own and make mortgage payments on. You act like I need a place to stay.”

“Oh I know you don’t need a place to stay. I like having you around here and I needed your shit off of the ground and out of that fucking suitcase. I was going to go crazy. You just throw the clothes back onto the suitcase. You’re used to be at home or at work where you have people that come and pick up after you when you do that.” Eliza started to laugh. “I have a maid but she isn’t paid to pick up after my girlfriend and as Emma doesn’t live in Los Angeles and Eliza so far hasn’t moved herself in I was in need of picking up after you or I was going to have to send you home which is the last thing I want to do.”

“You do tend to just take over space,” Joe said. “You have taken over more than one tour bus that I’ve called home.”

“You aren’t supposed to side with them.”

“Sorry, Ev. I’m gonna side with Eliza because well, she’s hot.” I started to laugh and flip Joe off. It wasn’t long before the gate started buzzing first was Ty then Kammi and Nick.

“So Ty have you figured out who Harry is setting you up with yet?” Kammi asked.

“I have not,” he replied. “He didn’t text me a name to stalk.”

“His name is Eli and he’s a writer on The Late Late Show.” Harry seemed excited about providing a little bit of information to us about his potential new boyfriend for Ty.

“When Ben told me you were setting Ty up with someone that worked for him I knew immediately in was Eli!” I danced excitedly.

“Is he the one with the incredible smile?” Eliza asked. I nodded excitedly. “Oh Ty, you’ll love him.”

“He’s a very nice guy,” Harry said. “Incredibly smart and yes the ladies are right, he has a great smile.” I laughed at Harry. “He’s one of the writers Ben and James rely on a lot and since I spend a bit of time there I’ve gotten to know him rather well. I am not just setting you up with someone to set you up with them. I honestly think you’ll like him a lot. And if you don’t that’s also perfectly fine and if you want me to refrain from trying to set you up with people in the future tell me and I will. I’m new to The Circus and I don’t want to do thing that someone in my place shouldn’t do.”

“You’re fine, Harry,” Ty responded. “I’m sure you made a great choice.” I was busy pulling up Eli’s Facebook page. I handed my phone to Ty so he could see the cute profile photo. “Okay, he is pretty cute. Do I look okay?” I hugged Ty as I took my phone back. “You look great,” Kammi said. “Don’t worry.” She paused for a minute. “So are we really not drinking today?”

“You guys can, I however can’t. We have a date night planned and if I drink and retrigger the gremlin I have a feeling that my very sweet boyfriend will kick my ass.”

“I wouldn’t kick your ass. But you shouldn’t spend a whole day out in the sun drinking when we know we won’t have dinner until later.”

“Big date planned?” Nick asked.

“Well when Ben heard I was setting Eli up with Ty he called this morning. He invited us to dinner with he, James Corden and their wives.”

“I may have promised James that we’d do dinner since he claims he’s the one that convinced Harry to set up a meeting with us and now that we are dating James thinks this is all due to his genius.” Kammi started to laugh.

“I love James,” she said. “You’ll have to tell them that I say hi. I haven’t seen any of them in a while.”

“I will,” I replied. “It should be a nice night. They all have sitters and can go out for a little bit. I also figure that if there are two people in Los Angeles with dirt on Harry it’s them and they just might be willing to spill it.”

“They will. There is no question about it. They will give you ammunition to pick on me.”

“Remind me to call The Late Late Show office on Monday,” Kammi said to Ty. Harry flipped her off. “Well, I just wanted to check to make sure you were okay if we drank. I brought stuff for mimosas.”

“Have at it,” I replied. “You should all enjoy the day. I have to stay fine for dinner and then tomorrow we are hosting Pops for dinner.”

“Do you need me to run to the store later today or tonight to pick stuff up?” Eliza asked. She really was the greatest thing in my life because she did grocery shopping and managed my calendar. Some agents in Hollywood had the assistant that worked their desk and a personal assistant that managed their home. Eliza did it all and I knew how lucky I was that she did.

“I think I’m gonna do Nonna’s traditional Sunday dinner. He hasn’t been home in a while and every time I suggest making it he comes up with something else. You know how he is. He wants to either eat out or eat at his house and Sunday dinner takes so long to make that he’d go crazy if I was in his kitchen for that long because it would mean he had company that long.” Eliza nodded and started going through her phone.

“Look and tell me what of the ingredients you need picked up.” She had an app on her phone that she kept my recipes in and I could click which things I needed. I scanned through the recipe and made the list from it and added a few things I knew we’d need if Dad was coming over.

“You’re a lifesaver, EJ and you know it.”

“That I do. I’ll go and have it over before 10:00 tomorrow.”

“But it’s Sunday, I want to sleep in,” Joe whined.

“You can. I got an easy week at the office because she was out so the least I can do is go pick up the groceries tomorrow.”

“We can do that,” Harry protested, he still wasn’t used to Eliza doing a lot for him.

“If you want to I can send the list to Ev. If not I’d be happy to go. I need to run for the condo too so it’s no big deal.” “We will talk about it later,” I said as the gate buzzed again. I quickly let Eli in and went outside to wait for him to pull his car up. Once he was out of the car he came and hugged me tightly.

“Hey Everlee,” he greeted cheerfully. “I just want to start by saying this whole you and Harry thing I’ve been told about makes me happy. You two are my favorites.”

“Aww, thanks Eli. So has H warned you that this is a set up?” I asked.

“He did. I nearly chickened out until he told me you were involved in this. He said it was with your business partner’s assistant. Texted me a few pictures. He’s super cute and even though he’s a bit younger than me I’m okay with that. I think we will have a lot to talk about.” Eli had been an assistant in Hollywood before finally landing a job as a writer. He knew the ins and outs of the business just as well as Eliza or Ty did.

“I sometimes forget that you haven’t always been this swanky writer and used to work the desk of a studio executive.”

“An executive that believed in me. Sort of like your assistants have. We are all lucky we found the good ones to work for. Okay before we go inside, do I look okay?”

“You look adorable. You got this Eli.” I opened the door and we went inside. “Hey Eli!” Harry seemed excited to see that Eli hadn’t chickened out and was here. It was fucking adorable to think that Harry wanted to find someone for Ty. I mean he’d offered to play wingman in Chicago but Ty was always hesitant about that. He didn't want to go to bars that were basically just people looking for a hookup for the night. I knew why too. He saw his best friend in a serious relationship with someone who she was likely going to spend the rest of her life with. Then in the last month he’d watched me morph from being married to my job into this woman who was smitten by her new boyfriend and he was losing Eliza too, it was obvious the way she and Joe were behaving that they were falling for each other quickly.

“Hi Harry, thanks for inviting me over. I’m excited to hang out. You have a gorgeous home.”

“Thanks mate.” Harry hugged him quickly before turning to start introductions. Eli knew Eliza well because she usually tagged along with me when I went to The Late Late Show studios to bug Ben and James. He’d met Kammi a handful of times but it was less likely she had clients going on the show. Nick and Joe had each appeared on the show as well but didn’t often pop in to bug the writing staff the way I’d started to do after meeting several of them during a brainstorming session for a client’s appearance. “Eli this is Ty Kirkwood. He’s also with SME.”

“Nice to meet you, Ty,” Eli said as he stuck his hand out to shake Ty’s.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Ty replied. I almost felt bad for them. The Circus was standing around the kitchen at Harry’s and staring at them as they shook hands for the first time. I could tell that Kammi was happy to see Ty being open to one of us setting him up with someone. Ty had barely dated since moving to Los Angeles. He always claimed he was too busy. I think the reality was that dating in this industry, and city, were tough. You always felt like someone wanted the connections you could bring them not to develop a connection with you. And if you were an agent, manager or assistant at a competing firm, good luck making it past drinks on the first date. During my attempt at online dating as forced upon me by The Circus last summer I ended up on dates with agents who wanted to become managers and a few managers looking to jump ship from the firms they were with. The worst one brought me his resume like he was on an interview not a date.

Ty and Eliza faced the same issues trying to date that I had but perhaps on a different level. We’d shared horror stories over drinks more than once when we’d all attempted to go on dates. Eliza had someone once try to steal her phone to get client numbers out of it. The person was a junior agent trying to sign some of our clients because they knew we were a management firm who had top tier clients and they also knew that because she was my assistant that she’d have access to just about everything. That particular bad date of Eliza’s was fired the following day, he should’ve checked to see that the head of his department played golf with my father nearly every Friday. When he found out that he had an agent who stole my assistant’s phone from her purse when she was in the restroom he got pissed. Luckily the phone he stole was Eliza’s personal phone not the one with all of the information they were looking for. Ty’s worst date brought an 8x10 headshot, flash drive with his reel, and a script he was writing. Ty stared at the guy and kept telling him he couldn’t get his script greenlit because his boss was in sports. We did a table read of the script over take out on that week’s roommate night, it was hysterically bad and had about 10,743 typos if I remember correctly.

We all made our way downstairs and outside to the pool. Harry had done a lot of work yesterday getting ready to have everyone here. I was clueless about it all as I’d been asleep the entire day. I hadn’t even realized he’d left my side because every hour on the hour he was walking me up, making me drink some water and checking on me before allowing me to go back to sleep. I walked over to where he was standing by the bar area. He had on a pair of swim trunks that were pretty short and showed off the tattoos on his thighs along with one of his designer floral print shirts. He was an expert at what Dads would wear on vacation. I wrapped my arms around him from behind hugging him tightly. He turned around to look at me, wrapping his arms around me.

“Hi,” I said. “Hi,” he replied.

“Thank you for this.”

“I’m just grateful that you are feeling up to having everyone over. I don’t like seeing my girl sick.” “Your girl doesn’t like being sick either.” He bent down to kiss me. “I’m excited for today and tonight and I’m actually sort of excited for tomorrow. Pops wasn’t a giant dick on the phone today.”

“We’ve been talking a lot over the last couple days so that he could get updates on you. He actually stopped by the house in between meetings while you were sleeping yesterday. He’s who delivered your lunch that you ate.”

“He did?”

“Yeah, he wanted to make sure our girl was okay.”

“Did he say that?”

“He did. I nearly shook you awake when he left because I was so blown away. He offered to pick up your lunch and brought food for me and Eliza as well. He was very kind when he stopped at the house, made small talk with me and stuck around for about 30, maybe 45 minutes.”

“Wow. Then why today when I said I’d text him the address did he not mention that he knew where you lived?”

“Not sure. But he does. He got the address from Ty I guess because he was on his way to the house when he called to tell me.”

“I think you could knock me over with a feather right now.”

“The same could’ve been said for me yesterday. But it is the progress we both wanted to see, right?”

“It is. It just might take some getting used to. James Scarcello doesn’t often admit he’s wrong so while we might see a change in his behavior we won’t likely ever see an apology for what he did. His apologies come as gifts, not words.”

“I don’t need an apology. I just need for him to not try and force us to end our relationship. I love you too much to lose you.”

“I love you too much to lose you.” He bent down and kissed me again, this time pulling my body closely to his. My hand snuck under his open shirt, resting over his heart. I could feel the speed of his heart rate increasing the longer we kissed. Just that feeling made me feel like my nerves were igniting and wish I could take him upstairs to our room and make love all day while our friends continued their fun without us. I knew I couldn’t do that though based on the yelling coming from Eliza. We broke the kiss and both turned just in time to see Joe finally flip Eliza’s raft over and then jump up on it. “Those two are hilarious.” “I find it hard to believe it took them all this time as friends to figure out that they are good for each other.” “We’ve always just been our group of friends. Nick threw the balance of The Force off initially when he asked Kammi out. It meant that the dynamic of part of our group was changing. I think Joe was probably nervous about doing that again. Plus he’s dated people that he traveled in the same social circle as before and when it ended a lot of bad things went down.”

“It’s never easy but sometimes it’s worth the risk. It obviously is with them.”

“It is. And I know he’s excited that this finally means he’s invited to Mexico. He told me that the Moms finally included him on the mass email that goes out to everyone about the trip. At some point I feel like the trip is going to grow and have to include the whole Jonas family and then we will need to just basically buy a resort because houses won’t hold us anymore.” Harry started to laugh a bit.

“I was included on that email as well.”

“I figured. Evidently my Dad is already planning stuff he can do with just you.” Harry started laughing. “I think he has a bit of a crush.” “Your Dad is wonderful. It will be a good trip. Get lots of time together before…” I cut him off shaking my head and putting my hand over his mouth.

“We aren’t going to talk about that. We’ve got time before you leave me. I don’t want to start crying about it now. If we talk about this much longer I’m going to start bawling and then just be stressed about you leaving me for the summer and not knowing when I’ll get to see you. I can’t start that now.”

“Okay, no talking about me leaving right now.”

“E! Are you gonna get your ass in the pool?” Nick yelled. “I am but I was having a moment over here. Jeez!”

“No tears about being apart this summer.” He gave me a quick soft kiss. “Now let’s go have some fun. But…”

“Not too much fun, I know.”

“Thank you.” He laughed a little as I turned to walk out towards the pool. I saw Kammi on a swan raft, Joe on a slice of pizza and Eliza resting her arms on the edge of the pool. Nick was talking to Eli and Ty while having his first cigar of the day. Everything felt so right. These were my people and judging by the flirting I was catching from Eli and Ty things looked promising for all of us. The day was fun and a good chance for us all to hang out and not talk about work, which typically consumed so much of our lives. Around 3:00 everyone filed out of the house so that they could all go home, grab a nap and get ready for their Saturday night plans. Nick and Joe were cooking dinner for Kammi and Eliza at their house. Eli had asked Ty to go out for dinner, which made all of us so excited.

“I’m tired.”

“You did a lot better today than I expected. I figured you’d try to leave and go take a nap a few hours ago.”

“I did consider it but it was fun. I needed to hear how week one of living together was going for Nick and Kammi. And it was way too much fun to watch Ty and Eli flirt with each other. I’m anxious for Ty to send a recap to all of us on the date.”

“Did you get the notification on your phone that I did?” he asked. I glanced down at my phone. There it was. Nick Jonas added Harry Styles to the group conversation titled ‘The Circus’.

“You got added to the group chat?”

“I evidently did. This is a big step, isn’t it?”

“It is.” We were finally done picking everything up and getting it put away in the kitchen. I wrapped my arms around Harry’s waist. “You know what else is a big step?”

“There's so many I could come up with that we’ve gone through.” He swayed back and forth with me.

“You moving me into your house.”

“Still not over that, huh?”

“Nope, it might take me a while to be over it.”

“Well, I wanted you to know that you could stay here as long as you wanted and whenever you wanted. Like when I’m gone this summer. You can stay here. You’ll have more privacy, more space, a pool.”

“I have two roommates that I live with.”

“I know this. And they can stay here if they want. My house will sit empty.”

“Yeah, if I stay here my condo will sit empty. You’re crazy. When you leave I’m going home. Hell you might just annoy me enough I go home before then.” I felt his hand sneak down my back and squeeze my ass. “Okay, that’s a lie. I won’t likely leave if you’re here unless you kick me out. But the only reason for that is sex.” He started to laugh loudly, his voice echoing off the walls of the house.

“Someone really is feeling sex crazed today.”

“I mean first of all, I’ve seen you naked or in swim trunks that are pretty much too small for you to wear in public for most of the day. You’re hot, parade yourself around scantily clad and shit happens. Second, remember back, all the way back, back to the beginning. I didn’t want to date you, but sex, that was another story.” He started laughing again. “I am a weak, weak woman.”

“You’re a very sexy woman and I enjoy how much you love sex. But I also think we need a nap before dinner.” “Oh, I 100% agree with that. The only thing I like more than sex is sleep.”

“I don’t think a single person could dispute your love of sleep after the last few days. So let’s go nap.” We went upstairs, pulled off our swimsuits and crawled under the covers in bed. I rested my head on Harry’s chest as he played with my hair that was still damp from the pool. “So Emma sent me my schedule for filming today.”

“That’s good. You can start getting ready. We can buy all the stuff you’ll need while you’re gone.” I had known this was coming. Eliza and Emma included me on the email chain this week while they were working everything out. I knew that as this stuff started to get rolling that I’d need to not spill everything I knew all the time. Some of this stuff was Emma’s job to work out, not mine.

“I will literally fly straight to France from Mexico. You could fly out with me to be there while I get settled.”

“Harry, I love you and I love that idea but we have to walk a really fine line with some of this stuff, especially on this film. I’m not just your girlfriend and you know it would be really hard for me to go and just be your girlfriend and not constantly worry about work when you’re getting settled for your first film. Maybe you go and do that first week or two and I come out for a long weekend. We can have time while you’re not filming to spend together and while you’re filming I can just be a girlfriend and do the things a girlfriend would do, like explore the area her boyfriend is working in.”

“I wish you could just come for the whole time. That’s a thing that families do, right?”

“Sometimes, yes. Significant others or kids will go and stay while they are filming but a lot of the time it’s just the time between or maybe a visit while they are there. But my role in your life isn’t just as a significant other. Most people don’t bring their managers for an entire shoot. Just the occasional pop in unless they have a lot of clients in which case it’s rare to see a manager or agent on set unless it’s in LA and they can go for like an hour.”

“You have a lot of clients.”

“I do and I have a lot who are getting ready to go into the studio or out on tour. I’ve been ignoring a lot of the stuff I normally do in favor of spending time with this really hot guy that is part of my life. I need to start doing my normal stuff, but just maybe leave the office at a reasonable time.”

“Maybe next weekend we lock ourselves in the house or go up to Malibu, just us. Get in some quality time before we start traveling again and before I leave. We’ve done a lot of stuff where we are with a lot of people whether it’s The Circus or your family and coming up is traveling with a lot of people and going to visit my family. I just want some time with my girl.”

“I can maybe arrange that. I do really wish I could just be the girlfriend that follows you around and just gets to enjoy being with you. But I also enjoy that I get to be your manager because goddammit babe, I’m so proud of you.” He smiled big as he hugged me tightly.

“I don’t think I’d want to have to pick one or the other so I’m okay with learning how we navigate this. Neither of us have done this before so it’s something we get to do together.”

“No one I’d rather figure it out with more than you.” Him playing with my hair eventually lulled me into the nap we were supposed to be taking. I woke up after about 45 minutes and started to get ready for our dinner. “Hey, where did we decide we are going? Do I need to dress nicer?”

“Yeah,” he called back. I looked through what Harry and Ty had stolen from my closet at home or work and added to the closet here. I found a bluish gray wrap maxi dress and decided on that. It had a high slit because of the wrap and was a little low cut. He told me this morning to wear something sexy so I was going to go with that theme. I hung it up in the closet before going back into the bathroom to do my hair and makeup. I saw my phone buzz on the counter.

The Circus Conversation TK: What the fuck am I supposed to wear on this date? You three girls are FAILING. I pick out your outfits for every first date you go on. When I have one you’re all too busy. I need new friends. ER: You’ll look great in whatever you wear. Plus you’re the stylist out of all of us. KM: Wear jeans and a t-shirt with a jacket or something. I mean we all know you could wear a garbage bag and look better than most people. NJ: We should’ve all gone back to the condo with you. What time are you meeting Eli? TK: Not until 8:30 but you all know I get weird and have to pick out what I’m wearing far enough in advance that I don’t freak out. HS: Eli likes you Ty. I don’t think what you wear will matter. ES: You look hot in black. Black jeans and a black sweater. I just looked at the weather and it’s supposed to get cold tonight. On that note, did you send a jacket that would look cute with that gray wrap dress? TK: Yeah, your leather jacket that you wear with that is there. KM: How do you know what’s in her closet? TK: I packed a bunch of shit up and sent it with Eliza to send to the house. JJ: Ev, did you move yourself in? ES: No…he moved me in. I had no part in this covert operation to move me into nearly half of the closet. This morning I thought I had like 1/10th of it. I just realized I have about half of it. How much do I have left at home? ER: Not much, honestly. It’s either at the office or Harry’s. You’ve got a capsule wardrobe that Ty built left at home. TK: A brilliant capsule wardrobe she will never see. JJ: Harry, you moved her in? HS: Her suitcase was giving me anxiety. Every time a suitcase sits on the floor of my closet I think it means I need to get ready to leave for months on end. Especially if it’s big as the one she had. So I just decided it was time to hang the clothes up. Then Ty, EJ and I thought it was time to give her more options so she didn’t walk of shame her way through the office anymore. NJ: Big move dude. If you get sick of her at least she still has a home. KM: HEY! You aren’t sick of me and I’m likely to get sick of you first. FYI I have a capsule wardrobe at the condo too. I can always go home. TK: Now would be the perfect time for all of you to get sick of your boyfriends and come home. I need my girls. HS: We are probably going to be ready for our dinner early. Want Evie and I to stop by and help? TK: Yes, please. HS: We will leave in like 10 minutes. She can finish her makeup at home since you restocked her bathroom with everything. ES: You all bought me new makeup too? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK PEOPLE? ER: It’s sweet. And don’t worry, he paid for it all. ES: That is what I was worried about. Don’t worry I’m glaring at him.

“Your glare is terrifying.” He started to laugh at me as he looked at me in the mirror. He was completely dressed and ready. I was finishing the last curl in my hair.

“You’re lucky that I have to put my dress on so we can leave or I would hit you right now.”

“It wouldn’t hurt, you’re little.” I slugged him in the arm while I walked by. “Okay, it actually does hurt. I should’ve listened to your Dad when he warned me.”

“Yes, you should have listened to my Dad. He knows better than most that I pack a punch. He’s also who taught me how to box when I was 10.”

“10?” Harry asked. He was finishing his hair while I got my dress on.

“Yeah, he wanted to make sure that I knew how to defend myself. So he taught me how to box. I would never in a million years compete but it’s a good work out.”

“Oh, I know. I also box.”

“I know what we are doing this week.” He peeked his head into the closet and started to laugh at me. “You want to box?”

“Yeah, you need to know that I pack a punch. So next time you think of moving my shit you think twice.”

“You aren’t going to get over that soon are you?”

“Absolutely not. I have to explain tomorrow to my father that my boyfriend hijacked my wardrobe and moved me into his house when we’ve been dating roughly three weeks.”

“Well, your Dad was onboard with it. Your Mom encouraged it and actually texted me with a few things you have at home that you might like here. She’s the one that suggested your pillows being here.”

“My family is the absolute worst,” I said while laughing. I finished putting my dress on and grabbed a pair of heels.

“Fuck, you look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” I replied as I walked towards him and moved to my tip toes to kiss him. “Now let’s go since I’m finishing my makeup at the condo so we can help Ty.” We headed downstairs and out to the car. It was weird to think that Harry had only been at the condo once and he’d more or less moved me into his house. To anyone outside of our relationship we were weird and I knew that was how it probably would come off to an outsider. But we were happy and truly that was all that mattered. It didn’t take long for Harry to arrive at the condo and park the car. We were quiet as we headed to the elevator, he grabbed my hand as we leaned against the wall. As we reached my floor the elevator gave off it's high pitched ding.

“I love you.” He was speaking quietly. “I hadn’t told you in a while.”

“I love you, too.” I laughed. A while had been since earlier today when he felt like he just needed to tell me. He was so liberal with his use of the phrase. Sometimes when you hear something a lot or experience something a lot it loses it’s special feeling, but not this. Every time he said the words my heart jumped into my throat, my heart rate sped up and goosebumps covered my skin. It was like hearing the most beautiful song for the first time each and every time he said the words. As I grabbed my keys from my purse to unlock the door my phone started ringing. I grabbed the phone not looking at the number. “This is Everlee,” I answered.

“What are you doing? We are supposed to be helping Ty and then going on a date,” Harry said making a somewhat angry face at me. I flipped him off.

“Hey E,” came the sound of a voice I hadn’t heard in a while and a voice I loved more than nearly any other. I could feel the smile spread across my face.

“Holy shit. You’re alive and evidently rediscovered telephone.”

“Yeah, I have a manager who bullied me. Mailed me a bloody fucking iPhone and told me to turn it on or find new representation.”

“Well when I manage to get you a year off it doesn’t mean you’re allowed to disappear.”

“I haven’t totally. In fact I will be in LA this week. I land Monday early, taking a red eye tomorrow night.”

“Can I claim you Monday afternoon? We can do dinner Monday night.”

“I’d enjoy that. Are you gonna cook for me?”

“I could. I mean it’s too bad you won’t be in town tomorrow. I'm making meatballs for Jimmy and his girlfriend for dinner.”

“And me!” Harry interrupted. He clearly didn’t like not knowing who I was on the phone with and who was going to steal me from him on Monday.

“Well shit, it’s too bad I’m not on an earlier flight. I enjoy watching you try to play nice with Jimmy’s girlfriends.”

“I know you do. So why don’t you tell me what I’m fixing or where I need to make a reservation and we can do dinner. It won’t just be us though.”

“Eliza need to join us?”

“Actually no, I have a new man in my life that is getting sort of bitchy about the fact that I haven’t told him who I am on the phone with.”

“You have a boyfriend? I clearly should've gotten a cell phone sooner.”

“Yeah, you probably should have. This is one you’ll approve of.”

“Do I know the bloke?”

“You do. A friend of yours actually.”

“Now you’ve got me curious.”

“He’s tall, maybe 6’1”. A bit on the skinny side. And has a shitty tattoo that is your handiwork on his wrist. And I perhaps owe him a bit for one of your larger hits.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

“He’s being obnoxious as fuck right now. I might have changed my mind by Monday night.” Harry was trying to get me to pay attention to him and started to throw crackers at me that he’d found sitting on the counter in the kitchen. “Harry, if you don’t fucking stop throwing crackers at me I’m leaving you at home and going to dinner with your friends without you.”

“Who are you on the phone with?”

“Ed you dumb shit.” Ed was laughing hysterically on the other end of the line.

“Wait…he got a phone again.” I clicked to put him on speakerphone.

“Actually mate, your girlfriend mailed me an iPhone and told me to turn it on and call her or look for new representation.”

“Sounds like her. She’s so warm and loving, isn’t she?”

“She is. Okay so I land at like 11:15 Monday morning. E can you pick me up at the airport?”

“Of course. We can grab lunch and work from my office on Monday. I’ve got some ideas for you, you’ve got some demos for me and we’ve got some interest in some songs and a few artists that want to schedule sessions.”

“Sounds brilliant. I’ll see you Monday morning. Harry, stop picking on her, I know from experience that it rarely ends well.”

“Thanks for the advice mate. I’ll stop in Monday to her office. Tell her what you want to eat and I’ll run to the store for her.”

“You’re her errand boy now, aren’t you?”

“Basically.” I laughed listening to the two of them talk.

“Alright, Monday morning Ed. I'll see you then. Love you.”

“Love you too, E. And you Harry.” I hung up the phone.

“Why didn’t you tell me that’s who was on the phone?”

“Because I haven’t heard from him in six weeks. I was more concerned with talking to my artist. Sometimes I won’t be able to tell you who I’m talking to. You can’t throw crackers at me every time.”

“Sorry, it was there and I thought I could use it as ammo.”

“Stop fighting and come help me!” Ty called from his bedroom. We both headed down the hall to find Ty’s bedroom roughly resembling an area that FEMA would have declared a disaster and immediately called the National Guard in for assistance.

“What the fuck, Ty?” I asked.

“I’m nervous. Everything makes me feel fat. I don’t know what to wear.”

“We’re here to help, Ty. Sit down and let Evie and I figure it out for you,” Harry said. I started to go through his closet with Harry. We found a nice pair of jeans, a striped top and a blazer as option one. Then a white t-shirt and black leather jacket to match the same jeans as option two. “Do we need a third?”

“Yes,” I said. I kept digging and found a pair of black pants and a burgundy sweater. “I think this is it. I don’t know how he manages to find the clothes he hasn’t worn in a good year and a half in these instances but he always does.” Harry laughed a little. “Alright, Tyberius, you are a wonderful man. You are handsome, intelligent, and will find the person you are supposed to be with some day. It may not be today and if it’s not, that’s okay.”

“I know.” He relaxed a little bit.

“And what is it that we tell ourselves?”

“That when love is supposed to walk into our lives it will.”

“And…”

“That a relationship and the love of another person doesn’t define us and will never complete us.”

“Exactly. I love you Tyberius Alan.”

“I love you too, Everlee Mae.” Ty and I had both been through rough relationships. He'd been in love once too. The guy was older and basically treated Ty like he was arm candy. Having lost his parents young made Ty for a while feel like he needed someone to love him that wasn’t his Grandma or Grandpa. This guy made Ty feel great for a while and then when he decided to stop making Ty feel great, he made him feel broken and miserable. It took a long time to fix that. He had forgotten how to value himself and how amazing he was. It was a sad situation but was part of what we bonded over. I spent the last two years of my relationship feeling like I deserved to be thrown out with the trash every time I was blown off by Drew. It’s part of why I felt so lucky to have found Harry. Eliza had always played the field, she would think a guy was great and get bored easily. Finally with Joe she’d met her match. Kammi had always been more concerned about sports and only occasionally casually dated a few guys until she moved to LA and started dating Nick. Ty had finally gotten the courage to leave his boyfriend when he moved to Los Angeles. The guy had reappeared a few times when he had business trips to Los Angeles but we did our best to keep Ty from falling back into that rabbit hole.

“Thank you, Everlee. I need that reminder sometimes.”

“I know. I need it too on occasion.” I gave him a hug as he stood up. “Now which outfit do you like?”

“I vote the leather jacket,” Harry said. “I had suggested a shirt that you have that has a really bold pattern, E told me no.”

“Of course she did. It’s not a good first date outfit. How you managed to get her to go on a date with you is beyond me. You had a really bold print shirt on for your first date, she sent me a picture of it. It was a little too wild for my taste.” I started to laugh. “I’m surprised that she let you out of the house in this one too.” Harry’s jaw dropped open and he started to laugh.

“He’s kidding. And this shirt is actually sort of tame in comparison to some of your other shirts.” Harry flipped me off. “Your wild shirts aren’t too much for his taste, just wait until we get to Mexico. I think you look cute in whatever you choose to wear, even if it’s weird, which a lot of it’s weird.”

“Okay, I’ll get dressed. Go finish your makeup, I don’t want to make you two late for your dinner because you had to come help me.”

“Alright, we will be in my room if you need anything.” I kissed Ty’s cheek and we left his room and headed to mine.

“You were good at calming him down.”

“It's a trick. He can do the same to me. He’s done it a few too many times actually.”

“Why?”

“We both have shitty taste in men, well, had shitty taste in men. Ty’s ex basically wanted a boy toy. I think they were together almost two years. Guy had a lot of money, big on Wall Street. Paid for Ty to travel with him, bought him a lot of lavish gifts, and Ty moved into his penthouse which he didn’t pay a dime of rent on when they’d been together two months. He offered to pay for the rest of school when Ty’s grandpa got sick and he was worried they wouldn’t have the money to help with school, which was really a non-worry, his grandparent’s are loaded. The guy basically just wanted to be a sugar daddy and for a while Ty was happy, until the guy started to act like an ass all the time. He didn’t like the idea that Ty wanted to get a job when he graduated from college. He basically wanted Ty to be his trophy husband he was an absolute jerk about us planning our trip after graduation to travel Europe. Part of why he decided to move to LA was to get away from that relationship.”

“Wow. I didn’t know that.”

“Why would you? I mean you haven’t really gotten to spend a lot of time with Ty which is my fault. I’ve been hogging you except with Eliza.”

“We should do dinner with Ty this week. I’d like to get to know him better.”

“Okay, I would like that.” I finished my makeup and we were out the door after checking on Ty again. We headed through the city to where we were having dinner and were taken in and to our table. Ben and Meredith were waiting, after quick hugs we sat down and ordered a bottle of wine to split.

“How is everything going, Everlee?” Meredith asked. I’d met her at a few events in Hollywood that Ben would attend, she was a sweet person.

“Really well. We just got back from Chicago, we went home for my younger brother’s 16th birthday party. We’ve got a few more trips planned before I lose this one for the summer,” I said as I ran my fingers through the hair above Harry’s ear.

“You got the role?” Ben asked. Harry nodded. “Congratulations man, that’s incredible. Are you excited?”

“Extremely excited. A bit bummed that Evie can’t join me for the whole trip but she’s got to work.”

“Lots going on?” I nodded my response to Ben as I took a drink of my wine.

“I’ve got a lot of artists in the studio hoping for late summer releases. I have a week of stacked meetings I’m sure since I haven’t been in the office for two weeks. And now I have to clear my Monday. Shit, I need to text Eliza about that.” I grabbed my phone to fire off a text.

“What is Monday?” Meredith questioned.

“Ed will be in town. He’s been taking time off but has demos to play me. I hadn’t heard from him in six weeks until today. When he’s flying in from England, I clear my schedule.”

“I can see that,” Ben replied. “Any news on music for this one?”

“I have a list of producers I think he should meet with. I need to get the meetings set up over the next week or two so that we can get it nailed down before he goes off to work on the film. That way when he is done he can go into the studio and get to work. Need to strike while the iron is hot. If I let him go too long people may not care that the curly one from One Direction is releasing music. As much as I hate saying this in front of him, most boybands have a shelf life. One Direction is a bit different but odds say they won’t all get to be the Justin Timberlake of their group.”

“She’s smart. I listen to her when she tells me to do something.” Harry smiled.

“That’s usually a good plan,” Julia said laughing a bit as she and James were brought to the table. We stood hugging them quickly.

“Always listen to the lady,” James added. “She's usually right.”

“Don’t inflate her ego too much.” I flipped Harry off.

The conversation during dinner was easy and flowed well. It was different seeing Harry with people who were obviously incredibly important to him. He was at ease with them in a way I hadn’t seen him. He laughed louder. His dimples were so deep I was sure that I could swim in them. His eyes lit up when both couples talked about their kids and did the typical digital parent move and pulled up recent photos of the kids on their phones. There was talk of us having dinner with Ben and Meredith at their house this week so that Harry could see Ruby, she evidently missed him and was disappointed she wasn’t invited to dinner. Meredith said she cried a bit about it and so they promised that Harry would come visit soon. James did have stories to share about Harry that had me laughing all night and Harry’s cheeks turning a bit pink with embarrassment. It was an earlier night than I was used to for a Saturday because everyone needed to return home and relieve nannies for the night.

“I didn’t realize you were Ruby’s godfather.”

“I am. She’s an amazing kid.”

“You keep surprising me, Styles.”

“I do?”

“Yeah, you were so at ease tonight. It was good to see.”

“I’m always at ease around you. What do you mean by that?”

“You are at ease around me. But I’ve observed you around my friends and my family, it’s natural to be a bit on edge, we are still new. With them you were yourself in a way that I haven't seen outside of us being at home just as us.”

“I guess I didn’t think about that. I mean I lived with Ben and Meredith for so long that they are basically family. James and Ben are so close that it's only natural that he and Julia are part of my life. They’ve all joked that if I went much longer without working that the next time I showed up at the studio I was going to have to start getting everyone in the office coffee like an intern.” I laughed as I reached to hold his hand while we drove back to his house.

“You’re about the right age to be an intern. Just finishing with college and looking for the first job in the real world.”

“Would you have hired me?”

“No,” I said. He looked at me appalled. “You’re too cute. It would be completely unethical to hire an intern because I wanted to sleep with him. So it’s a good thing it’s only sort of unethical to sleep with a client.” He laughed loudly.

“I’m glad you have a questionable ethics then.” He pulled into the driveway and up to the house. The view from this house still blew my mind when I looked out the windows late at night at the city sparkling below us. “Want another glass of wine?”

“No, I should save myself for tomorrow. There will be beer during the game and wine with dinner.”

“So tomorrow, what is Nonna’s typical Sunday dinner?”

“Meatballs, it’s a long process.”

“The ones that we ate at her house in Chicago.” I nodded. “I’m excited about that. Do I get to help you cook?”

“If you want to.”

“I would like to help you. We can get up and go to the store in the morning.”

“Okay, I’ll let Eliza know we’ve got it covered.”

“I actually don’t usually mind going to the grocery store.”

“I usually have mine delivered every week. Saves time.” Harry laughed. “I like to make sure I’m efficient. I typically have a lot of shit to do.”

“Like me? This slit in this dress killed me all night.”

“I’m glad it served it’s purpose.” He started to lead me up the stairs to the bedroom. When we made it in the master I went to shut the lights off as he kissed me.

“Wait, I forgot I had something to give you.” He escaped and went into the closet quickly and came out with a box that was clearly from Tiffany & Co. My heart beat sped up.

“What the hell?”

“Just open it,” he said as he handed me the box. I slid the iconic white bow off and opened it. Inside was a soft teal pouch. I opened it and found a keyring inside with one key and a charm that had a simple ’S’ on it. “It’s a key to the house. You can come and go whenever you want whether I’m here or not. And I was trying to find something cute to put it on and since both of us have an S with our last name it made sense.”

“It’s very sweet, H. Thank you.”

“I had intended on giving this to you before you saw that I’d moved some of your clothes here. I sort of failed at that.”

“It’s okay, it’s a very sweet gesture. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied before taking the box and setting it on the nightstand. He quickly shut the light off before reaching for me. “Now back to what we came up here to do.”

Oh Harry....haha. Covertly moving Evie's clothes into the house along with her things so that she wasn't living out of a suitcase and making him anxious. This chapter had a lot of stuff that makes me really happy. A potential boyfriend for Ty, a little more insight into his life, and Harry being interested in getting to know him better. Harry got added to The Circus group text! That one is a big deal because of how tight-knit that group of friends is. And my personal favorite, Harry giving her a key to the house. They are so adorable together and I love writing them as their relationship grows. I'm so sorry about how long this chapter has taken. I thought I was in the clear with my migraines and evidently I was not. So between that and all of my work stuff (I SIGNED A NEW CLIENT THIS WEEK WOOO!!!), personal stuff, and the Ed Sheeran concert I went to last night (OH MY GOD IT WAS AMAZING. Can I go see him again?) I've had a busy couple of weeks. But I knew I needed to crank this out before a week that will be all weird because of a holiday here in the states. I actually don't have plans for the rest of the night or tomorrow so I will hopefully be able to get a head start on the next chapter because it will be a big one with Harry and Evie hosting James and Jessica for dinner. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and can't wait to hear what you thought about it. As always feel free to comment, message me, find me on Twitter, Insta or Tumblr. I am most active on Tumblr and sometimes provide extras like sneak peeks, instagram style posts and I have a feeling that now that Harry is in The Circus text that I'll be able to provide some text conversations between the group. But, I'm so excited to hear what you all think of this. For those of you in the states, have a safe and happy 4th of july. Don't blow your fingers off with fireworks or anything. xx AM.

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theboywiththepinkfloralpurse · 8 years ago

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134 questions

1: Name - Joel 2: Age - 18 (19 in June) 3: 3 Fears - being alone, not making anything of myself, and bugs lol 4: 3 things I love - My Sweet and Wonderful Boyfriend, music and making music, chocolate 5: 4 turns on - the back of my neck, it's really sensitive… when the other person takes control… that's all you get for now ;) 6: 4 turns off - biting, roughness lol, uncomfortable positions, boobs (lol) 7: My best friend - Sterling 8: Sexual orientation - Gay (duh XD) 9: My best first date - pizza place with my current boyfriend 10: How tall am I - 5’6” 11: What do I miss - my boyfriend. And music camp tbh 12: What time was I born - not sure… the afternoon maybe? 13: Favorite color - Teal 14: Do I have a crush - very much so 15: Favorite quote - not my favorite but I love it cuz it's hilarious “...the people that put the chemicals in the water that turned the friggin frogs gay!” - Alex Jones 16: Favorite place - Sterling's house (and now anywhere with my boyfriend :) 17: Favorite food - Mac n’ cheese. Also chicken 18: Do I use sarcasm - nooooooo I neeeeever eeeeeeever use sarcasm (lol) 19: What am I listening to right now - my Mom has some cringey Christian radio station on... 20: First thing I notice in a new person - kindness 21: Shoe size - 10 (12 women's XD) 22: Eye color - blue 23: Hair color - dirty blonde 24: Favorite style of clothing - sweaters with or without buttons, clothes with buttons in general. Fall clothes 25: Ever done a prank call? - once… it was so cringey but he actually fell for it

27: Meaning behind my URL - theboywiththepinkfloralpurse was my first blog where I really needed someplace to make venting emotional posts and I'd just gotten a tacky pink purse with flowers lol. a-random-gay-bunny is pretty self explanatory lol 28: Favorite movie - ahhhhhh I'm so bad at picking favorites for most things…. I do really like V for Vendetta tho. Seen it many times, and the entire X-Men series. 29: Favorite song - too many to pick… 30: Favorite band - except this… I can say for sure it's Pentatonix. I've seen them in concert twice, I love them so much 31: How I feel right now - happy, but I wanna hold my boyfriend and kiss him 32: Someone I love - My boyfriend John 33: My current relationship status - very taken <3 34: My relationship with my parents - much better than a couple years ago, still a little rocky but pretty good 35: Favorite holiday - probably Christmas 36: Tattoos and piercing I have - none 37: Tattoos and piercing I want - I'm not sure, but I would like a tattoo or a few one day 38: The reason I joined Tumblr - to vent my feelings to the void lol 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - don't have one 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - everyday :) <3 41: Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? - this question is weird lol, but John's the last person I texted and the only person I've kissed :) 42: When did I last hold hands? - yesterday 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - depends, I can get ready really quickly if need be though 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? - nope. Last I shaved was a week ago I think 45: Where am I right now? - at home on my couch 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - either Sterling, John or both, but I don't plan on getting drunk ever. I guess it could happen but probably won't be drinking in the future 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - both, usually slightly loud though 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - yeah… hopefully not for too much longer 49: Am I excited for anything? - seeing my boyfriend on Saturday, and going to camp in 52 days, and hopefully passing my driver's test in 107 days. 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - sort of? I feel like I can tell Tabby everything 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - not too often, only in situations where I feel uncomfortable but feel I need to smile. 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - couple of hours ago 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - I'd be vereh sad and I'd want to know why. But he wouldn't do that :) 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - I'm a really trusting person so probably 55: What is something I disliked about today? - I couldn't see my boyfriend and kiss his cute face 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - uhhh… I dunno… maybe Tyler Oakley cuz I bet that would be really fun 57: What do I think about most? - heehee, my boyfriend. And also getting a job and figuring out plans for things, always running through plans in my head. 58: What’s my strangest talent? - I'm not sure, but the fact I can sing so low and so high is a pretty strange talent I guess 59: Do I have any strange phobias? - I'm very afraid of getting water in my eyes 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - behind it 61: What was the last lie I told? - I told my Mom I understood when she told me that my having a boyfriend is very difficult and awkward for her. I really don't understand 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - definitely on the phone, but before my boyfriend I would've said neither 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - I'd like to believe in aliens, but I dunno. As for ghosts I don't believe in them at all really. 64: Do I believe in magic? - kind of? I think people can and have been able to connect with demons and been controlled by them. I don't think it really happens today much anymore. I think it might tho? 65: Do I believe in luck? - not really, sort of in a cutesy way tho 66: What's the weather like right now? - slightly cloudy, but the sun has mostly set anyway 67: What was the last book I've read? - all the way through? Animal Farm. The last book I opened and read from was a book Sterling gave me. 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Oh god no, do some people like that smell? 69: Do I have any nicknames? Dork, pianoman (from this strange sports camp where everyone had a nickname) 70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? - had a car hood slam on a couple fingers, they didn't break tho surprisingly. Never had a broken bone 71: Do I spend money or save it? - spend… I shouldn't, I need to make money so I can start saving 72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - just barely the bottom of my nose 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes, my old pink purse and probably some other stuff 74: Favorite animal? - besides cats and bunnies, red pandas 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - talking to bae 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - I don't think he has one? Strange question lol 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - you'll be in my heart by Phil Collins 78: How can you win my heart? - genuinely caring about me :) 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - Here lies the gayest gay to ever gay 80: What is my favorite word? - maybe bitch lol 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - a bunch of furry blogs lol 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - …..hi?... anybody wanna give me free money and help me see my boyfriend more?.... 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no. Unless I have distant relatives in jail 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - teleportation 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - not many, but one is “have you cheated on school assignments” 86: What is my current desktop picture? - my cat Loki 87: Had sex? - nope 88: Bought condoms? - nope 89: Gotten pregnant? - NOPE XD 90: Failed a class? - no 91: Kissed a boy? - yee 92: Kissed a girl? - nononono 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - not yet ;) 94: Had job? - not yet :( 95: Left the house without my wallet? - plenty of times lol 96: Bullied someone on the internet? - maybe? When I was like 13/14 I might've, but not really, I made cringey YouTube comments. 97: Had sex in public? - nope lol 98: Played on a sports team? - nope 99: Smoked weed? - nope 100: Did drugs? - nope 101: Smoked cigarettes? - nope 102: Drank alcohol? - nope 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - nope 104: Been overweight? - nope 105: Been underweight? - ...yeah 106: Been to a wedding? - many… many 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - HA plenty of times XD 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - probably 109: Been outside my home country? - no 110: Gotten my heart broken? - yeah 111: Been to a professional sports game? - actually yeah… it was boring 112: Broken a bone? - nope 113: Cut myself? - no, I considered once but immediately decided against it because I know someone close to me who did 114: Been to prom? - nope 115: Been in airplane? - a few times 116: Fly by helicopter? - nope 117: What concerts have I been to? - Oh lots, a bunch of em were when I had a scholarship that allowed me to see concerts for free 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - plenty lol, better question would be had a crush on the opposite sex. Which the answer would be… once 119: Learned another language? - sorta? Not fluently no lol 120: Wore make up? - nope, I don't like stuff on my face like face paints and makeup and stuff 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - nope 122: Had oral sex? - nope 123: Dyed my hair? - no, but I want to someday. Like a fun color 124: Voted in a presidential election? - yeah 125: Rode in an ambulance? - nope 126: Had a surgery? - nope 127: Met someone famous? - kinda! 128: Stalked someone on a social network? - a few times... 129: Peed outside? - yeah, hasn't everybody at least once? Right? 130: Been fishing? - once… super boring 131: Helped with charity? - not yet, can't afford to yet lol 132: Been rejected by a crush? - once 133: Broken a mirror? - don't think so 134: What do I want for birthday? - always a difficult question. But definitely want to see my boyfriend :)

5 notes · View notes

davincichode · 8 years ago

Note

Hey! 1,10,20,30 and so on till the end for the questions.

Hey! Thank you! I’m not sure when you sent this, but thank you regardless!

This could be fun (or depressing)

1: Name

Michael!

10: How tall am I

6′2″

20: First thing I notice in new person

Their smile and/or their laugh. Next up is their hairlines.

30: How I feel right now

Full, mostly. I took full advantage of Fat Tuesday

31: Someone I love

@watermelonnoises

32: My current relationship status

dating

33: My relationship with my parents

Really good actually! Our phone conversations are very sarcastic these days but there’s lots of love.

34: Favourite holiday

Christmas, then Halloween

35: Tattoos and piercing I have

None so far

36: Tattoos and piercings I want

Tattoos: Something very minimalist and hipster. I had an idea that whenever I visit an ocean for the first time I’d get its name tattooed on me in like typewriter font. And I’d get them done in the languages of the countries where I visited them for the first time.

Piercings: I kind of wanted a trendy ear piercing but I’m not sure what would look good on me

37: The reason I joined Tumblr

Lord knows, but some friend probably told me to sign up

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

I mean I hope not?? We’re not on speaking terms but I don’t hate him or anything

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

I had a conversation with my friend Jazz a few months back about how I wasn’t doing so well, and ever since she’s sent me good morning and goodnight texts with sweet/inspirational messages. I adore her for obvious reasons.

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

I’ve done far worse to the last person I texted

41: When did I last hold hands?

Probably when I last saw @watermelonnoises

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

Twenty minutes? This depends on how conscious I am

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

Afraid not

44: Where am I right now?

In my living room next to the window, watching the storms.

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

Looking at you @watermelonnoises (though I’m not sure how she’d carry me)

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

Loud if I’m in a mood

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

I live at my university and stay with them during breaks

48: Am I excited for anything?

I’m going to California with one of my best friends in a few weeks!

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

This is getting embarrassing @watermelonnoises

50: How often do I wear a fake smile?

But in all seriousness, I’ve been working on correcting this lately

51: When was the last time I hugged someone?

@watermelonnoises!!!

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

Nah, I’m pretty good about that

54: What is something I disliked about today?

My Portuguese professor kind of went on a rant during our review today and things got personal. I think she misses her country and who can blame her tbh

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Oh God, so many people. Malala Yousafzai, Gillian Anderson, Florence Welch, Bette Midler...

56: What do I think about most?

Sex and food

57: What’s my strangest talent?

I can bullshit papers like nobody’s business. I’ve never actually tried on a written assignment in my life.

58: Do I have any strange phobias?

Fish when I was younger I guess? But not so much anymore

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

I love photography, but it’s been a goal of mine to get into more film acting soon!

60: What was the last lie I told?

“Yeah, I studied!” Not original, but I’m honest

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

If you call me I don’t have to make my face less ugly

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

YES and Yes

63: Do I believe in magic?

Hell yeah

64: Do I believe in luck?

Both kinds

65: What’s the weather like right now?

Stormy and blustery. Lightning in February, and not for the first time this month. Imagine.

66: What was the last book I’ve read?

Wicked! Excellent read

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

Not anymore

68: Do I have any nicknames?

Nothing consistent

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

I once got a fishhook stuck in my nose

70: Do I spend money or save it?

I’m good at saving, but when I spend money I go all fuckin out

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

Nope! I’m tongue tied

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

Dennis, my cactus. He’s blooming beautifully right now.

73: Favourite animal?

I love dolphins

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Watching a scary movie! It was called From the Dark

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

Trump

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Donatella by Lady Gaga

77: How can you win my heart?

Persistence! Good food! A warm heart! Make me laugh! Travel with me! Let me steal your body heat when I’m cold! This was really hard to think about!

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

“Here Lies a Poor Role Model”

79: What is my favorite word?

Saudades

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

I don’t really pay attention to who I reblog from unless they’re mutuals, in which case I couldn’t choose

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfRtkCGE40A

82: Do I have any relatives in jail?

No but I have some that probably should be bless their hearts

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Mastery of all languages!

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

“What do you want to do with your life?” I make up bullshit answers for this one all the time

85: What is my current desktop picture?

I’m changing it soon because the resolution is poor but

86: Had sex?

87: Bought condoms?

All my condoms have been gifted

88: Gotten pregnant?

Not yet but here’s hoping!

89: Failed a class?

No which is proof that God exists and performs miracles in this day and age

90: Kissed a boy?

Yes

91: Kissed a girl?

Yes

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

No and I feel like that’s really over hyped

93: Had job?

I currently work in a library and a theatre

94: Left the house without my wallet?

I carry my cards in my phone case so no

95: Bullied someone on the internet?

I’m not THAT big an asshole

96: Had sex in public?

I’m 90% certain that most of my sexual encounters have been in public

97: Played on a sports team?

I played tee ball when I was like 7

98: Smoked weed?

Nope. Asthma.

99: Did drugs?

Technically no

100: Smoked cigarettes?

Asthma.

101: Drank alcohol?

Not frequently

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

I Need Meat

103: Been overweight?

I was a chunk in middle school

104: Been underweight?

I pretty much stopped eating last semester lol that was fun

105: Been to a wedding?

When I was 3. I insisted that I wear my Zorro cape over my tuxedo. My parents love this story and the accompanying photo.

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

lol

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

LOL

108: Been outside my home country?

I toured Europe in high school

109: Gotten my heart broken?

I suppooooose

110: Been to a professional sports game?

No actually

111: Broken a bone?

Nope

112: Cut myself?

Nope

113: Been to prom?

I went my sophomore year with the same friend I’m going to California with!

114: Been in airplane?

I LOVE flying

115: Fly by helicopter?

A rich family friend owned a few helicopters and took my cousins and I up when I was little

116: What concerts have I been to?

Just a few Christian ones with my dad and some smaller ones in my hometown

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

I do right now

118: Learned another language?

I’m always learning a new language. My strongest is Portuguese but I’ve also studied Spanish, French, Swedish, Welsh, Russian, Hebrew, Esperanto, Toki Pona, Italian... I feel like I’m missing a few. If you ever want to send asks in these languages I’ll try my best!

119: Wore make up?

Both on and off stage

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

I only sucked dick when I was a minor

121: Had oral sex?

^^^

122: Dyed my hair?

Purple when I was in high school and blue this past summer

123: Voted in a presidential election?

This past one

124: Rode in an ambulance?

Nope

125: Had a surgery?

A few in my mouth

126: Met someone famous?

Not that I know of

127: Stalked someone on a social network?

Oh gosh yes

128: Peed outside?

I grew up on 500 acres of woods, I peed outside more than in

129: Been fishing?

Yes

130: Helped with charity?

I used to volunteer a lot

131: Been rejected by a crush?

I guess but it apparently didn’t affect me much

132: Broken a mirror?

nope

133: What do I want for birthday?

Plane tickets!

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

I can barely take care of myself man

135: Was I named after anyone?

Nope! Although my uncle’s middle name is Michael

136: Do I like my handwriting?

I write in cursive and it’s nice because nobody can copy off my work

137: What was my favourite toy as a child?

My stuffed Elmo!

138: Favourite Tv Show?

The X Files af

139: Where do I want to live when older?

Europe. I’m still deciding on Ireland or Portugal or somewhere else entirely

140: Play any musical instrument?

I played recorder for a few months in fourth grade

141: One of my scars, how did I get it?

My brother bit me in identical places on both my arms

142: Favourite pizza toping?

Pepperoni bitch

143: Am I afraid of the dark?

Only of what’s in it

144: Am I afraid of heights?

Not really, I love high places

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

Surprisingly not (more proof God is real because I snuck out a LOT)

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end

Haven’t we all?

147: What I’m really bad at

Anything musical

148: What my greatest achievments are

Errrrm. I’m already published. I’m alive, which is always nice.

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

I can’t think of much besides like generic middle school small town bullying

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

Pack my bags and fly my ass off to every country in the world

151: What do I like about myself

I’m pretty independent

152: My closest Tumblr friend

I don’t think I have any friends who I strictly talk to on here

153: Something I fantasise about

No college debt

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?

Yes. Ghosts are real. Aliens are around. I’m a slut for cryptids. And I’m always ready to talk about this shit.

Thank you for reading!!

1 note · View note

indiebluecrown · 8 years ago

Text

My Stories (Current Status)

I’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks, but I think it’s high time I post an updated list of all my stories. It’s been at least half a year since the last time I did this. I think I listed the number of reviews on it as well, but I won’t do that this time.

*Oh, this doesn’t include a bunch of drabbles that I post here on tumblr (ones that I need to make stories for, or to add to my drabbles series).*

I put everything underneath the keep reading cut, because this is going to be a ridiculously long post.

(All of these are the ones I have up on FFN, I have some of the same ones on Ao3, but I haven’t moved all my stuff over there…)

A Dalliance In Time

This story is truly just full of love on all fronts, and I am proud of the strong lady characters I’ve written that don’t take no shit. It is also dedicated to @sableunstable and @laisvega (the former ruined me with her own Remione fic, Stages) I blame them, and also @shayalonnie for why I ship Remione. The reviewers on this story are fucking awesome and I love all of them to bunches.

Summary: “There’s a familiar metallic smell in the air, it’s tangy and the very memory of it makes a ball of dread curl up tightly in her gut. It feels like she’s not quite in her body, the soles of her feet itch, her head feels light and woolly, as if it’s been stuffed full of cotton.” - Remione time travel. Non-canon.

Word Count: 69,938 words

Pairing: Remione (Remus Lupin/Hermione Granger)

Number of Chapters: 31

Rating: M

Status: WiP

Published: July, 31st, 2016

Last Updated: December 30th, 2016

Christmas Drabbles and Shorts

I am really bad, this is basically an ongoing thing, and one day I will finish all the prompts and Christmassy drabbles I have planned as gifts for people.

Summary: A compilation of Christmas Drabbles. This is my Christmas gift to my lovely readers. (Not all Christmas based since these are their requests). Pairings include: HarryxLuna, HermionexDraco, HermionexSirius, HermionexTheo, GinnyxSirius, GinnyxTheo, DeanxSeamus, SiriusxRemus. Merry Christmas! :D

Word Count: 14,264 words

Number of Chapters: 11

Rating: M

Status: Ongoing

Published: December 1st, 2015

Last Updated: December 22nd, 2016

Drabbles and Shorts

Summary: This is a compilation of Drabbles and Oneshots. Mainly Dramione, occasionally other ships. Requests are welcome. I hope you enjoy my weird collection of scenarios that are sure to follow.

Word Count: 18,936 words

Number of Chapters: 15

Rating: M

Status: Ongoing

Published: July 9th, 2015

Last Updated: July 28th, 2015

Fall Through Time

I have had my ups and downs with FTT, but it shall always have my heart. Always. How could it not?

Oh, I was nominated for an award, and there’s a few more days left for everyone to vote. So if you haven’t voted already and you read FTT, I would be really happy if you voted for me!! You of course don’t have to. If you want to however, then you can vote (here)

I made some aesthetics for this the other day, and I am very happy with it, you can find it (here) so you can see my facecasts for all of the Marauders, with the exception of Draco and Hermione. I haven’t quite gotten them down yet.

If anyone has any ideas then I would love to hear them!!

(Am I allowed to freak out that FTT is like 30 followers away from 1k??!?! LIKE HOW. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN.)

Summary: “In the last twenty four hours, Draco Malfoy’s life was flipped upside down. Not only was everything he’d ever known gone, but now the only person he had to rely on, hated him with every fibre in her being. Draco Malfoy was stuck in the past with none other than Hermione Jean Granger.” Dramione. Non-canon. (Remione included).

Main Pairing: Dramione (Draco/Hermione)

Major Pairings: Remione (Hermione/Remus) & Draco/Marlene McKinnon

Word Count: 199,165 words

Number of Chapters: 51 (technically 50, since I don’t count chapter 9 on FFN as a chapter)

Rating: M

Status: WiP

Published: July 14th, 2015

Last Updated (heh…this may change in the next few hours): January 20th, 2017

I Hate You I Love You

@ash-castle also wrote a delightful fic based on this song, though hers was a Hansy (right wife? I am right, right?) and @laisvega wrote an angsty Harmony as well that will DESTROY you. Destroy.

This was meant to be a oneshot, and then it grew into its own thing. I once considered an Epilogue, but I thought it ended suitably, and I like that I left it fairly open ended.

Summary: “Sighing, she brought the fag to her lips, taking a deep breath, feeling it fill her lungs, before she lowered the fag. Moments later she lazily breathed out, the smoke drifting out of her mouth. The main thing she wished she could have was her best friend, but in his eyes she was nothing more than just that, his know-it-all best friend.” - Harmony, short series.

Word Count: 14,058 words

Pairing: Harmony (Harry Potter/Hermione Granger)

Number of Chapters: 8

Rating: M

Status: Complete

Published: June 27th, 2016

Completed: September 11th, 2016

I Never Said I Was Sorry

For @colubrina

This was never meant to be, but yet it is. I absolutely love writing this, thought the inspiration for it comes and goes. Not to mention my other WiPs hog up all of my attention pretty much.

Summary: He shows up on her doorstep, soaked to the skin and barely coherent, convinced he has to apologize for a wrong he’s done her, one that has shattered her life. The only problem is, it never happened. Hermione Granger and Theodore Nott try to untangle threads of time travel and alternate universes. If they fix the knots he’s caused, she’ll die. If they don’t, he will.

Word Count: 5,193 words

Pairing: Theomione (Theodore Nott/Hermione Granger)

Number of Chapters: 4

Rating: M

Status: WiP

Published: October 15th, 2016

Last Updated: January 3rd, 2017

It Was Her Ginger Hair

I’ve made two aesthetics for this, but the most recent one can be found (here) and the older one can be found (here)

This will always be my rare pair baby, always. Ginny/Theo has slowly but surely secured its way into my heart as my second main OTP, with Dramione at the forefront. With Remione and Sirimione right up there as well. I think we all know I’m shipping trash.

Whilst I was writing this, @ff-sunset-oasis somehow made me love Blaise more than I already do. @prattster666 was a constant support and light. @m1sc1efmanaged was just an overall amazing friend and is currently alphaing it for me as I comb through the completed story with a fine tooth comb.

Summary: Theodore Nott found his eyes being drawn to the ginger hair swishing down her back as she moved to the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. Last night she bumped into him at the Slytherin house party because Blaise had knocked into her; the first thing she said to him was, “you’re the Nott guy that my roommate wants to shag right?” Non-canon, DH AU. Ginny/Theo, Slight Dramione.

Word Count: 169,079 words

Main Pairing: Ginny Weasley/Theodore Nott

Major/Side Pairings: Harry/Luna, Blaise/Daphne, Draco/Hermione, Charlie Weasley/OC

Number of Chapters: 43

Rating: M

Status: Complete

Published: July 6th, 2015

Completed: November 28th, 2016

Let The Stars Fall As They May

Just know that I am Helga/Salazar and Rowena/Gryffindor trash. Okay? OKAY. This is began as a errant thought that passed through my mind, and now here we are.

Summary: A collection of Founders drabbles, shorts, oneshots and random scenarios. Mainly Salazar/Helga and Rowena/Godric, because I ship them something intense. Some of them shall be happy and full of light, but some of them will be fraught with sadness and sorrow. Non-canon (not that there’s a lot of that as it pertains to the Founders).

Word Count: 2,627 words

Number of Chapters: 4

Rating: M

Status: Ongoing

Published: January 4th, 2017

Meant To Be

I constantly feel bad about how long its been since I updated this, my eyes are always drawn to its folder whenever I go to write. The muse just doesn’t want to bite. She’s currently more all bite and no bark, and MtB is mainly pure fluff. Something the tigress is not interested in.

I do however have special feelings for this fic. Some of the reviews I’ve gotten on it have really moved me, and I am thankful that everyone who reads it has been patiently waiting for an update.

Summary: Hermione obviously a bit confused as to why the three of them were gathered here was getting a bit impatient, she didn’t like not knowing things. “Luna, why are we here?” Triad fic about Hermione Granger, Luna lovegood and Daphne Greengrass. F/F themes, and M/M themes. Mainly light and fluffy, probably won’t always be that way. Non-canon, sporadic updates, maybe a little fun.

Word Count: 16,648 words

Number of Chapters: 7

Rating: M

Status: WiP

Published: January 31st, 2016

Last Updated: July 22nd, 2016

Neighbours

This is one of the first things I posted on FFN, and I am somehow still proud of it. It’s also nice to see how much I’ve grown since this oneshot.

Summary: “Hermione Granger had always been a stickler for rules, and having a certain amount of order in her life, so the day he moved in she decided to make a specific set of rules just for him.” Draco Malfoy becomes Hermione’s neighbour and she makes a set of rules knowing if she doesn’t she’ll end up breaking them. Oneshot, non canon. Dramione.

Word Count: 3,676

Rating: T

Status: Complete

Published: June 22nd, 2015

Nott In The Moonlight

I was very sad when I wrote this. It shows, and it is definitely not something you read if you are looking for fluffiness and niceties. It was just one of those days where everything feels off-kilter. I absolutely love this for what it is, a rare pair I never thought I’d write, and I never thought I’d write in this way.

It’s probably not what you’d expect, and if you’re looking for something a little more…interesting, then this may be for you.

Summary: “Cursed. He was a cursed man, he had been cursed since he was little. Blood, teeth, frigid night air. Fear, palpable in the air, it was scorching his lungs and veins. Sharp screams echoing through the night, the cold round mistress in the air permanently seared into the back of his eyelids.” - Theodore Nott x Remus Lupin, one shot.

Word Count: 1,748 words

Rating: M

Status: Complete

Published: July 27th, 2016

Promise (On Hiatus)

This story is on hiatus. For reasons…yea. I don’t know what else to say. I still love this story, it was my first multi-chaptered story that I had posted anywhere. I dunno. Just. Yea. I got my first real arsehole reviewer on this story, and it came at a time when I was disheartened by the lack of response and feedback…and it was around the time that I started FTT.

Anyways, I was writing FTT and IWHGH instead, and I put this one on hiatus…

Summary: The Second Wizarding War is over, and due to a ruling by the Wizengamot, Harry and his fellow classmates return to Hogwarts to repeat their Seventh Year. The Children of the War work together to heal themselves, create new bonds, strengthen old ones, and deal with the aftermath of the War, as well as trying to promote House Unity. Non-canon. Dramione. On hiatus.

Word Count: 66,823 words

Number of Chapters: 15 (technically 14, the latest one was an A/N)

Rating: M

Status: WiP ish

Published: June 19th, 2015

Last Updated (properly): Sometime in Sept 2015

Redamancy

This was a fun little thing I did with some of my favourite ladies ever (you know who you are ;)) I say fun, but there are parts of it that are certainly sombre.

Summary: “Pointless. Meaningless. Everything in his life that used to make sense was now a garbled mess. His life now consisted of jumbled moments strung together on a tangled string, where it all seemed dull, the world was no longer as bright and vibrant as it once had been.” One shot, George Weasley x Luna Lovegood

Word Count: 1,742 words

Pairing: George Weasley/Luna Lovegood

Rating: T

Status: Complete

Published: July 13th, 2016

Return of Regulus Black

I am desperately trying to find the inspiration to write the next chapter for this. The muse isn’t having any of it. She’s currently only interested in the young Marauders apparently. It’s the same reason I haven’t been able to get out the Severus and Pandora drabble I’ve got in the works.

Regulus Black is my baby though, and this is pretty much a fix it fic. With one of the main pairings being Luna and an OC. It’s pretty much about Slytherins and Ravenclaws, and I love it very much.

Summary: Known Death Eater Regulus Black was assumed to be dead years ago, especially when they found the disfigured body in the Thames with his house ring on its’ finger. Years later the entire Wizarding World is not only shocked when he returns, but by who he brings with him; Notorious Mass Murderer Sirius Black, and a raven haired, grey eyed boy. (Wolfstar)

Word Count: 56,702 words

Pairings: Regulus Black/Emmeline Vance, Wolfstar (Remus Lupin/Sirius Black), Luna Lovegood/OC, Dramione (Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger), Theomione (Theodore Nott/Hermione Granger) (tbd)

Number of Chapters: 16

Rating: M

Status: WiP

Published: December 13th, 2015

Last Updated: November 27th, 2016

Seasons Change

Did I write all four chapters of this in one night? Yes. Do I regret anything? No. Theo/Luna is one of the best ships, and I love the two of them. LOVE.

Sometimes I want to have an Epilogue, others I don’t. All I know is I would want it on the cusp of Fall Winter. Which one reviewer agreed would be lovely.

Summary: A short series that moves throughout the seasons that focuses on Fifth year Luna Lovegood, and Sixth year Theodore Nott. “Oranges, reds, yellows. Fall. Luna loves Fall. The air is crisp, and even though it rains often, she still goes outside barefoot.” Non-canon, just for fun. Luna Lovegood x Theodore Nott. My love for these two is immense.

Word Count: 3,730 words

Pairing: Thuna (Theodore Nott/Luna Lovegood)

Number of Chapters: 4

Rating: T

Status: Complete (with possible Epilogue)

Published: January 9th, 2016

The Wolf and The Stag

This was written on a whim, and I am so glad I wrote it. You want fluff? You came to the right place.

Summary: “We’re late,” the hazel eyed man commented, removing his hands from the warmth and comfort of his toasty pocket to push his glasses back further onto the bridge of his nose, adjusting his gold and red scarf quickly before his hand dove back into his pocket. Starbuck (James Potter x Sirius Black) Oneshot, complete, non-canon AU. Lily Evans x Remus Lupin.

Word Count: 4,168 words

Pairing: Starbucks (James Potter/Sirius Black)

Other Pairing: Lily Evans/Remus Lupin

Rating: K+

Status: Complete

Published: March 26th, 2016

Time Travel? Piece of Cake.

OKAY. SO FREAKING OUT. Cause TTPOC now has over 300 reviews, and is scarily close to 700 followers. Still in shock, and just. GUYS.

I made a pretty edit for this (imo) yesterday, and you can find that (here)

This started around when I was first reading Misplaced Moony by @shayalonnie, and I had a random thought, “what if all the Marauders come forward in time as opposed to Hermione going back?” Of course, blood magic was involved, and a certain rat was left behind.

Summary: What will happen when the Marauders find themselves transported to another time and dimension, which is scarily similar to their own? Landing in the year 1996, smack dab in the middle of a different war than the one they were fighting. Non canon. Dramione friendship. SiriusxHermione pairing. AU from HBP and onwards.

Word Count: 93,605 words

Main Pairing: Sirimione (Sirius Black/Hermione Granger)

Major/Side Pairings: Jily (James Potter/Lily Evans), Remus Lupin/Luna Lovegood, Harry Potter/Astoria Greengrass, Draco Malfoy/Daphne Greengrass

Number of Chapters: 28

Rating: M

Status: WiP

Published: September 7th, 2015

Last Updated: January 23rd, 2017

#things i write #my fics #indieblue #indiebluecrown #don't have the energy to tag more things #but look #i did a thing #or two

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portlandnet · 6 years ago

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Fundraising FAQs

This is a reprint of an email I sent to NET Team Leaders on August 22. ~ JVK

Information I received at a meeting from your reps at Friends of Portland NET made me realize a lot of the information TLs have about NET fundraising and processing funds is incomplete, disparate, and often inaccurate.

I shouldn't have felt surprised; we don't talk about it much in Basic, and there is not (yet) a Team Leader Handbook (or even an orientation) you can use to consult on fundraising, though we are actively working on one. In the meantime, I hope you will accept my apology for not making the information easier to obtain and use this email as a reference. Here is everything I think you need to know; it's long and some of this will be redundant for several of you, so read only what interests you. I will also make most of this a Tumblr post where answers to any questions will be posted. Here we go:

How do I set up an account for my NET with Friends of Portland Fire & Rescue (FoPF&R)? As part of my job responsibilities, I sit on the board of a nonprofit 501(c)3 called Friends of Portland Fire & Rescue (which, please note, is not the same as Friends of NET...Friends of NET is an advocacy group that I am not permitted to have a seat at, except to give advice). I sit on the FoPF&R Board so that NET can use them as an umbrella organization to legally collect tax-deductible donations for your team. The primary responsibility of FoPF&R is to maintain the Firefighter Museum on Belmont, but they let NET and a couple other orgs in. The process for setting up an account through FoPF&R has always been on pp. 32-33 of the NET Guidelines. If you've never read them, please read them now before moving on to other parts of this email.

How much does it cost a NET to use FoPF&R? The nonprofit charges a 7% administrative fee on all deposits (but not withdrawals). 7% is typical for administrative overhead, and it's used to pay for administrative services that the nonprofit hires, such as accounting and legal advice (for the conspiracy theory minded, our budget is available for your viewing on request). Board members such as myself ain't going on luxurious Fiji junkets with those fees anytime soon. Some have remarked that the 7% fee is excessive. In my own observations, it looks to be in line with fees charged by other organizations doing the same work. If you believe it is too high, I encourage you to look elsewhere for partners; your neighborhood association might also be a nonprofit and may be able to help you. Also worth mentioning: if an exceptionally large single deposit is made, the Board can vote to waive or reduce the fees. In fact, we've done that before. If your team has a large single deposit to make and would like to request the fees be reduced or waived, email me and let me know. The Board will want you to make a case for waiving/reducing fees, so please have that justification for the exception in mind. Friends of Portland NET is also looking at becoming a nonprofit that can process deposits, and if they succeed, I plan to take NET out of FoPF&R and move all our accounts over to them so that NETs, and not PBEM, has full oversight and control of the money. They have indicated that they would like to charge a percent on deposits less than 7%, but the number they intend to settle on is TBA.

Woah now waitacottonpickinminute...is it ALWAYS 7%? Because I've heard it is 10%. FoPF&R always charge no more than 7%, period. It's in our bylaws. But it is also true that if you collect donations through a third party service, such as PayPal, PayPal takestheir service charges first, deposits the money, and then FoPF&R takes their 7% cut of what's left. PayPal service charges run about 3%. So in that case, you'd indeed get 90 cents on a one dollar donation. If you want to avoid the extra fee, don't use PayPal.

So why would I use the 501(c)3 at all if my neighbor can just write me a check and I cut you out entirely? You could do that. The benefit to routing your money through a nonprofit is that, after the money is received, I can write your donor a receipt/letter that confirms the money went to a recognized nonprofit, and that the donor can legally deduct the donation from their taxes. If your neighbor simply writes you a check, well gee that's extra generous because that can't be written off of their taxes. Since nonprofits are highly regulated by the State and the IRS, routing through us also gives donors assurances that the money will be spent the way they intend for it to be spent. In fact, many large donors will donate only to a nonprofit.

Back up a bit...are you saying we have a PayPal account service we can use? We do; the donate button on the bottom of this page will take you there: https://www.friendsofportlandfire.org/portland-net.html. The direct link is: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?token=2TnB7nPc_BsyhEdTaDCuVPPNGXTueJzibi0NBKQ90EUbtTk5qCWfIuUpH0brfEe33HMgrW&country.x=US&locale.x=US A PayPal donation button makes donating much easier for potential donors, especially if you're soliciting small amounts from many people. I think you could even stick that button on a NextDoor post along with a list of what your team wants/needs (if you're not sure what you want, there is a suggested team cache list in Section 600 of the NET Guidelines). But beware: PayPal only knows a donation from that link is for NET...there is no way to choose which NET it's supposed to go to. Therefore, your donor must forward you the emailed PayPal receipt, and then you must forward that receipt to me so I can route the money to your team's account. If you do not, I route the money to the NET general fund (which is spent on things like equipment packs for volunteers who cannot afford them). Yeah, that’s a pain in the ass. Theoretically, a team could set up its own PayPal account so you could cut me out as the middleman there, and just send me a check. But I don't think PayPal allows multiple PP accounts to route to the same bank account, so the deposit would have to go to a bank account you're associated with.

What if we want to solicit donations at an event? You can do that too. Cash is simple enough...just take it and secure it. If the donor wants a receipt, take their name and mailing address and I'll mail it to them. For credit cards, we have the hardware you would need to swipe cards on your phone. You just need to check the hardware out from us (I think we use Square) and download the app onto your phone. Pretty simple. They also charge a processing fee, though, like PayPal.

What are/about in-kind donations? In-kind donations are donations of stuff instead of money, and it's often more palatable for people/businesses to make in-kind donations rather than cash donations. For in-kind donations, I can write them a receipt/thank you letter acknowledging the items donated. However, and this is very important, it is our policy not to put an appraised value on that receipt of the donated items. An appraisal is the responsibility of the donor (or the donor's accountant) when they file taxes. We are not qualified to do that, and me pretending to be an accountant would get me in hot water.

I'm frustrated because I don't even know how much my team account has and Jeremy won't tell me. I wasn't aware that sentiment was out there, and again, I take responsibility for not making things more clear. I keep a running account sheet and Glenn or I can bring up the status of an account balance at any time...takes us about two seconds. I'm detecting that it would be better to simply send quarterly reports to all TLs who have accounts while continuing to answer that question on request. So, in a separate email, I will contact all the TLs with accounts and confirm that they are the team contact to receive those reports. Then, Glenn or I will make sure you receive them at least quarterly.

I'm frustrated because Jeremy takes forever to process my money. That was, at one time, a legit complaint. It is no longer. Thanks to Glenn's help, I mail approved reimbursements the week I receive them; often, the very same day. I will say, however, that I do not typically process deposits very quickly; I prefer to gather up deposits over the course of a quarter and deposit them all at once at the bank for efficiency. But if that creates a problem for you, just let Glenn or I know and we can probably get the deposit in that very same day. This is important sometimes because you'll have a donor write you a fat check and, as a courtesy to them, you want to get it out of their account ASAP. I can appreciate that, no prob.

I hate that Jeremy has to approve my purchases before I make them. My first commitment is to you, the NETs, and the NET program. In short, that policy is in place to protect the credibility and legitimacy of what all NETs do, not just one team or one team leader. I'll also say that, before my time, teams have made a few wacky purchases I would have adjudged were not in line with NET's mission. So, sorry, but thems the rules and that is a rule I do not make exceptions for. Please don't ask me to; I hate having to be the villain. Heck, I've barely grown in my Snidely Whiplash mustache.

What's the deal with Fred Meyers Rewards? My checks are, like, a whopping $2. If your team is listed to receive Rewards money, the check sizes indeed vary from team to team. Some are on the low end (like under $10 a quarter) and some are relatively high. If you want to increase the amount you get from Rewards, here's what you do: encourage your neighbors (maybe through NextDoor?) and friends to list your team as the recipient of their Rewards bonuses account. From what I understand, Kroger (owner of Fred Meyers) has $650k each quarter (or is it each year? will need to check that) distributed to every Rewards non-profit in their systembased on the number of people who signed up to contribute to a given account. More people signing up for your team means more money for your team. I thought their spending habits also made a difference (e.g. I wanted Irvington NET to get more money so I opted for the expensive organic avocados instead of the regular ones). It appears I was mistaken about that...it has more to do with the number of people who sign up for your account. If none of this makes sense and/or you want to know more about Kroger Rewards accounts, email me and I'll get you details.

Why are we trying to get donations anyway? Shouldn't the City buy all our equipment? No. First, I should point out PBEM does provide some of your most important equipment...you got that hard hat and vest for free, right? If you didn't, let me know. One of my clones is trying to swindle you. PBEM also provides more staff support to its CERT program than any other program sponsor I've even heard of by miles...you have four full time staffers working on nothing but NET/BEECN, and that’s not including our Outreach Manager. Most programs elsewhere are managed (seriously) by an unpaid intern who is given marginally more clout than the office coffeemaker. But what about funding neighborhood equipment caches? It's not possible for us to fund all the equipment caches that are needed in the city. So if we began funding any caches, doing so would raise inevitable and serious political and equity issues. Who would win? Who would lose? Why? Hopefully, you can see the problem there. Besides, if the City just gave caches away, the equipment would not be as well maintained or tracked as it would be if the community invests in it. It's like when I was a teenager and said HEY DAD BUY ME A CAR and dad said HECK NO YOU BUY IT YOURSELF BECAUSE THEN YOU'LL APPRECIATE IT MORE WHIPPERSNAPPER. I hated that answer when I was a teenager because I wanted a car. I hate that answer now because he was right. I recall what NET is and is not. NET is not the City of Portland bankrolling earthquake response operations. NET is the City saying to Portland neighborhoods, essentially, that: there is an earthquake coming, and we're very skeptical about how much we'll be able to help you in the aftermath. Therefore, we will offer you and all your neighbors free high quality response training, staff support, and some equipment so you can, if the added community investment of time/interest/money is there, begin to raise your own response team. Though some will disagree with me, I believe taking taxpayer money and redistributing it by buying equipment caches is an inappropriately narrow (and possibly irresponsible) way to spend taxes. We'll spend up to a point, but then your neighbors need to raise their hands and say "yes, we agree this is important and here is some money/resources to help make it happen". If your neighbors can't do that or won't do that, a government funded cache in your neighborhood would be inappropriately matched to the low time or willpower of those neighbors. An exception here is when PBEM or PF&R has specific operational objectives we are asking you to meet and you need equipment to make them. For example: we want a lot of radio operators, so I have a bunch of radios I can loan out to NETs. I want NETs to control traffic safely around down power lines, so I have about $6k set aside to buy road flares and other safety equipment to do that. It is NEVER appropriate for PBEM or any government agency to ask NETs to deploy for a hazardous non-earthquake operation, such as working down power lines, and not equip them at least at a basic level. If that happens after I am gone when some other chump is managing this program, I encourage you to protest loud and clear. If they ask you to deploy and can't equip, and you don't have the PPE already yourself, please don't go. All of that said, I do advocate for a program model where a neighborhood is awarded a cache by meeting specific community resilience goals (a model that worked well in Berkeley). But we're a long ways off from that getting implemented or considered, and the effort would have to extend beyond PBEM. In the meantime, if you want more equipment, turn to your neighbors and ask for the money. It will assuage some of the guilt they feel for not being better prepared and not being NETs themselves. Just don't tell them they can't actually buy their way out of an inevitable earthquake.

Thanks ~ JVK

#Fundraising

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