#i’ve always been weird about it because i’m the person everyone asks to step on their back because of my size and it’s always been stressful

[icelogged]

i want to step on him

[multi-fandomfuckboy]

Stranger Than Fiction

Part 28: Games

Billy Hargrove x Reader (Slowburn)

Part 1,... (Masterlist)...Part 28, Part 29 (Coming Soon)...

AN: lol I'm back on my bullshit. Word Count: 3,874 Warnings: allusions to abuse

It’s a short ride. Neither of you speak, allowing the music to fill the space between you. It’s comfortable. You listen to each song as the cassette plays through the specific mix curated by its maker. Max had shown you a few of these ‘mixtapes' Billy had made the day you waited with her. You don’t fully understand how he’s able to get each song to seamlessly blend into the next despite the variation in artists and rhythms. 

Then a song comes on that grabs your attention. It’s the same loud tune, a guitar continuously strumming along with the beat of drums and bass. The thing that stands out to you are the lyrics. 

“People think I’m insane,  because I’m frowning all the time…  I need someone to show me the things in life that I can’t find I can’t see the things that make true happiness,  I must be blind.”

“Who sings this?” You ask, glancing sidelong at Billy. 

“Black Sabbath.” He tells you, keeping his eyes ahead. “It’s one of their older songs but it still holds up.” He explains pulling to a stop in front of his house. When he moves to cut the engine your hand reflexively grabs his wrist, stopping him. 

“Wait. I want to hear the rest.” You tell him, using your other hand to turn up the volume.   Billy doesn’t fight you, watching you in silence as you listen to the rest of the song. 

“Make a joke and I will sigh And you will laugh and I will cry Happiness I cannot feel And love to me is so unreal… I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could, but it’s too late”

Your heart gives an uncomfortable squeeze for a beat as the song ends. There is a tense moment before the next song begins where you notice Billy's pulse under your fingertips. You don’t know why you're squeezing Billy’s wrist so tightly. You slowly uncurl your fingers, sitting back in your seat. The lyrics bounce around in your mind as you sit there. Billy finally cuts the engine, ending the music as well. 

“You okay?” Billy finally asks, lifting a brow. You nod.

“Yea, it’s just weird. How something can sound so loud and angry but under it all it’s actually really sad.” You explain. “Like a cry for help.” Billy’s lips quirk up slightly.

“Maybe that’s what they were going for?” He says. “Music is just another way to tell a story. I’m surprised you’re not more into it.” He tells you, moving to exit the car. “If you thought that was good I’ll have to show you some Bon Jovi.” He goes on as you follow him out of the car and up the steps towards the house. “I’m assuming you have no idea who that is.” Billy says with a smirk. 

“Yea yea, save it. Max already thinks I’ve been living under a rock for the past 17 years.” You reply with an eye roll. Billy huffs a laugh. 

“That little shit wouldn’t know dick about music if it weren’t for me.” He says, pulling out his keys. His words are harsh but there is no heat to them. 

“Well this is a first.” You quip as he unlocks and opens the front door, stepping to the side to let you enter first. “A whole different experience than coming in though the window.” You joke, stepping into the house. 

“We can always go around back if you’d feel more comfortable.” He jokes back, following you in. You take a moment to really look around as Billy closes and bolts the door behind you. You’ve never been in this part of the house, only glimpsing at it through windows. It’s not a large space and it’s clear that 4 people occupy the small domicile. Bits and pieces of everyones lives are scattered around. 

“I think I’m good.” You reply. You notice that there is a clear clash in interior design through the house. The free weights contrast with the decorative rug under them. Beer cans stacked next to decorative shell decor on the mantle. Someone had tried to make this house a home, but there was something off. It felt like two personalities were struggling to mesh into a comfortable middle, it was unstable, chaotic. 

Billy moves around you to lead you deeper into the house but before you can move any further Max’s voice calls from her room. 

“Billy, I need to go to the arcade! Where did you-oh.” She stops short seeing you in the living room. For some reason it feels like you’ve been caught doing something you shouldn’t, a pit of anxiety taking root in your stomach. 

“Hey Max.” You greet, giving her a half wave. She just watches you skeptically. Her narrowed eyes dart between you and Billy. 

“What’s your malfunction?” Billy snaps after the silence lasts a moment longer than is comfortable. 

“Are you two dating?” Max asks bluntly. 

“What?!” Both you and Billy ask in unison. You share a confused glance before turning back to Max. Your face heats exponentially. 

“Mind your own business you little shit.” Billy bites at the same time you try to explain. 

“He’s tutoring me in history.” A smirk, eerily similar to Billy’s, spreads across Max’s face. 

“Is that what they call it these days?” She asks, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall, a taunting lift in her brow. 

“If you want a ride, I would shut the hell up.” Billy says sternly, narrowing his eyes at the redhead. 

“Jeez, learn how to take a joke.” Max huffs with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. She ducks back into her room, leaving you and Billy in the living room. Billy just shakes his head, clenching his jaw as he heads for his room. 

“I swear if her attitude gets any worse Neil is going to lose his shit.” He mumbles, pushing his hair back from his forehead. “Be ready in 20 minutes!” He yells after her. The only confirmation that she heard him comes in the form of a dramatic groan. 

“That’s how all kids are at that age. I was so argumentative my mom and I didn’t have a pleasant interaction for weeks at a time, and don’t get me started on Hopper. I’m pretty sure I took years off his life with my attitude.” You chuckle fondly at the memory of your painful growing years. 

“Sometimes being a kid isn’t a good enough excuse.” Billy replies calmly. Your stomach twists uncomfortably remembering how Neil had looked at his own son that night not so long ago. 

“Neil and Susan are in Indianapolis Christmas shopping, so I’m playing chauffeur for the day.” Billy explains, entering his room and heading straight for the bed, flopping down on it. 

“I don’t mind helping watch her.” You offer without much thought. You hover in the doorway, suddenly nervous about being in his room alone with him. It’s not like you had never been in his room alone before, you spent many nights sitting across from him on the bed pouring over history lessons, keeping your voices low to not wake anyone else in the house. But something about being here in the daylight, not sneaking around, it makes your stomach swirl. You glance around, his room looks the same as it always does. Bed half made, cigarette butts stamped out in the ashtray next to the cassettes on the nightstand. You do notice that there is now a small dent in the wall next to the mirror, but you can’t be sure that it wasn’t always there.

“Neil would kick my ass if he knew I pawned my responsibility off on you.” Billy explains, propping himself up on his elbow to see you. You absentmindedly skim your fingers over the outside of the doorframe.

“It’s not ‘pawning’ them off on me. We would do it together.” You reason with him. Your fingers catch on something cold and metal on the outside of the doorframe. Leaning back to glance at what you’re touching you see the latch of a lock. Glancing at the outer side of the door you see the other half of the latch. Something cold prickles down your spine.

This isn’t just a teenager wanting privacy, the way this latch is set up, it would function to lock the door from the outside. Why would anyone need that? Your mind struggles to make sense of it. 

“He wouldn’t see it that way.” He tells you flatly. 

“Then don’t tell him.” You say simply, stepping fully into the room. “I’ll help you out today and I’ll be gone by the time they get home. “ you explain, sitting gently on the edge of the bed next to his legs. “Just like when we painted the porch.” You remind him. You watch something dance behind his eyes at the memory from this summer that feels like a hundred years ago. “Consider it part of my tutoring payment. I know the food isn’t a fair trade.” You insist. When he finally nods, giving in, you have to smile. 

“Fine. But only because the idea of dealing with a prepubescent she-devil by myself makes me want to stick needles in my brain… and leaving her alone is not an option.” He tells you, sitting up next to you. His thigh presses against yours, and the proximity sends sparks over your nerves. 

Remembering the promise you made yourself before leaving home you try to scoot away to put some distance between your bodies. Billy notices the movement immediately. 

“Oh sorry, am I making you nervous?” He asks, leaning in even closer, one of his arms going behind your back. He’s not touching you, but he’s close enough that you can feel him if you lean back even slightly. You struggle to hold his gaze.

“No.” You say simply, not trusting your voice to say more without shaking. 

“You sure?” He asks, lifting a brow. You feel him lean in even closer, you swear you can feel the heat coming off of him. You force yourself to hold his gaze and remain still, fighting the urge to pull away. Like a game of personal space chicken.

“I’m fine.” You practically whisper, your voice sounding too loud with how close he is. When he chuckles you can feel the warmth of his breath against your cheek. His eyes shift between yours. You can see the flecks of green in his sky blue iris. Your breath mingles with his and you smell his last cigarette mixed with spearmint gum. You swallow thickly, gritting your teeth together in defiance. 

“You can tell me if you’re not.” Billy insists, his voice just as soft. He’s flirting but you can hear the seriousness laced in his tone. He’s making sure you know he’ll stop, if you ask. Something about that knowledge eases the panic in you. Shifting slightly you tilt your chin up, watching him the way he always looks at you.

“I’m okay.” You say more confidently. You see his adams apple bob as he swallows, his eyes seeming to darken. His gaze flickers to your parted lips so quickly you think you imagined it. Your mouth suddenly goes dry, your stomach flipping at the memory of what his lips felt like against you-

“Right, that’s what ‘not dating’ looks like.” Max’s voice calls loudly from the doorway. You feel like a bucket of ice water has just been poured over your head as you pull away from Billy. Embarrassment floods through you as Billy leaps from the bed lunging towards the door. 

“Fuck off!” He yells, slamming the door closed. 

“I still need a ride!” Max yells from outside the door, pounding on it for emphasis. Billy’s shoulders are tense as he stands with his back to you, his arms braced against the door. You see him take a deep breath, then another, bowing his head as he lowers his arms, slightly adjusting the waistband of his jeans. 

“You sure you want in on this shit show?” He asks, turning to lean back against the door. Max pounds on the door again, shaking its frame. You manage a dry laugh, trying to shove all the mortifying shame you feel into the back of your mind. 

“Oh this is nothing. Try telling Mike Wheeler a campaign needs to end early. Kid turns into a gremlin.” You tell him, pushing yourself off the bed. Billy lifts a brow. 

“I’m more surprised that you know what a gremlin is.” He admits teasingly. You roll your eyes. 

“I do have a life outside of this room you know.” You tell him. You won’t admit that the only reason you know the plot of gremlins is because Steve insisted on catching you up on all the big hits you had missed while you were in the hospital, not that you had actually seen it in theaters. 

Billy watches you approach with a healthy dose of skepticism. 

“Come on Hargrove, put on a brave face. I hear they can smell fear.” You joke, clapping a hand on his shoulder. 

“I’m going to be late!” Max yells, pounding harder. 

“Be my guest Loca, I always knew you had a death wish.” Billy says with a smirk. Your heart pounds at the memory of your first meeting. It feels like a million years ago, like you were an entirely different person, and looking at Billy’s confident smirk, the teasing glint in his eyes, you wonder if he’s a different person now too. 

Without another word, Billy whips open the door to reveal a very agitated Max.

“Finally!” She exclaims, turning on her heel striding towards the front door, her bag already slung over her shoulder. Billy shoots you a look over his shoulder before following after her. 

“Hey, Max?” You call, slipping in front of Billy to catch up to her. She only glances at you, still heading for the door. “Do you mind if I tag along to the arcade?” You ask. Your words cause her to halt, turning to face you with the full force of her scrutinizing glare. You feel Billy come to a stop behind you, her eyes dart to him before returning to you. 

“Did he ask you to babysit me?” She asks indignantly. 

“No!” You say, throwing your hands up. “I just thought you could teach me some stuff. I’m not very good and I hear you kick the boys' butts on a regular basis.” You explain, hoping it comes off as genuine. She studies you for another beat, seeming to weigh the pros and cons of allowing you to come with her. Finally, she shrugs. 

“Fine. But don’t try to talk to me while I’m playing. It throws me off.” She instructs, turning for the door. When her back is turned you quickly give Billy an enthusiastic thumbs up, earning another eye roll. 

The three of you climb into the car, Billy turning the volume up to his usual bone shaking level as he whips out of his spot, speeding down the road. It’s a short ride into town, especially with how Billy drives. When he comes to a stop outside the arcade you climb out, pulling the seat forward to allow Max out. 

“I’ll meet you in there.” you tell her. Needing no explanation, Max jogs to the doors slipping into the dimly lit building. You can see the boys' bikes already lined up outside. “You coming?” you ask Billy, leaning back into the car. 

“Hell no. I can babysit just fine from here. You couldn’t pay me to go into that dork pit.” He scoffs. You roll your eyes at his stubbornness. 

“Oh come on, tough guy. Where is your sense of adventure and whimsy.” you ask, only receiving an unimpressed look in return. 

“Whimsy?” He asks, his lip curling at the word. 

“I’ll buy you a coke.” you offer, hoping that bribery will soften his resolve. Billy’s lips press into a firm line, you can see his jaw tick as he grinds his teeth. 

“Fine.” he says after a moment. “But I have to run an errand real quick.” He tells you. Thinking this is some kind of trick to get out of coming in, you narrow your eyes. 

“You promise to come in when you get back?” you ask, extending your pinky to him. He lifts a brow, a dry laugh escaping him.

“What are you 12?” He asks. When you don’t show any signs of joking he heaves a sigh, linking his pinky with yours. “Fine, yes. I promise I’ll come back and watch you be terrible at dig dug, dork.” He promises with a teasing smirk. 

“Good.” you smile, letting his pinky go and stepping back. “And I’m not that bad.” you clarify, closing the door and allowing him to pull away from the curb. 

It turns out that you ARE that bad. 

Max allows you to take the first turn, even offering you pointers, but by the end of your third turn she takes over explaining that she can’t stand watching you throw away quarters like that. You’re a sorry excuse for a gamer, your brain having trouble communicating quickly enough with your hands on the controls. It’s alright though, you have more fun watching Max and the boys take turns trying to beat each other's scores. 

The longer you observe the group of adolescents the more you note the change in dynamic among them. Max and Lucus are openly interested in each other but don’t seem to know how to navigate this new realm of relationship. Mike appears distracted, constantly glancing at his watch. You assume he’s anxious to see El. You know that Hopper has started allowing the two to hang out at the cabin and though you’ve pushed for El to have more social time, Hopper's old habits die hard. His paranoia is persistent. You can’t say that you don’t understand where he’s coming from. 

Dustin and Will seem more irritated than anything with the new shift in priorities within the group. 

After roughly 30 minutes of watching Max wipe the floor with the boys scores, you venture to the opposite side of the arcade. You want to give the group space but also stay close enough to keep an eye on them. You scan the games, searching for one that you can play without too much instruction. Ms. Pac-Man seems to be simple enough, and it’s located in a spot that allows you to watch your group bounce from game to game. 

Inserting your first quarter you begin the game. You’re able to keep up at first, but when the ghosts start to speed up you can't seem to evade them quick enough. After your 4th quarter your pride is stinging. 

“Fuck…” you curse to yourself as once again you are cornered by the little red ghost. Before you can insert another quarter, you feel someone approaching from your left, coming too close to just be passing by, tensing your hand itches to lash out but you stop yourself when you realize who it is.

“Hey.” Keiths’ monotone voice greets you. You know him from school, and to your knowledge the two of you had never actually spoken to each other. 

“Hi Keith.” you reply politely. You aren’t sure why he’s approaching you. You know that he works here so possibly you were doing something wrong. “What’s up?” you ask. Kieth seems to swallow past something in his struggle to speak. 

“I see you around sometimes.” he tells you, unable to meet your eyes. You don’t know what to say to that.

“Yea, I babysit so I come in to keep an eye on my kids sometimes.” you tell him. 

“That’s cool.” he mumbles “You know I could help you with some of the games if you want. Are you alone today?” He asks. You know he doesn't mean for it to sound as creepy as it does but you can’t help your slight cringe. 

“No, I’m actually with-” you move to gesture towards Max but are cut off when Billy appears next to you, casually draping an arm over your shoulders. 

“Me.” He finishes for you, keeping his eyes on Keith who looks like a deer caught in headlights. 

“O-oh, cool.” Keith manages to mumble, taking a step back. “Nevermind then” he manages to get out, obviously resisting the urge to turn and run. Understandable with the way Billy is glaring daggers at him.

“I’ll see you around.” you offer Keith a kind smile. He only nods sheepishly before retreating further into the arcade. Sighing, you swat at Billy’s side, causing him to drop his arm from your shoulder with a chuckle.

“What was that for?” he asks, doing his best to look genuinely confused. You see right through it to the self satisfaction he's really feeling. 

“Did you have to mad dog him? He was just saying ‘Hi’.” you tell him. Billy scoffs, moving to lean against the game. 

“Yea, right.” He says, sarcasm dripping from every word. “You didn’t see how he’s been eyeing you, trying to work up the courage to come ‘say hi’.” he tells you, throwing air quotes around your words. 

“And how long were you watching that?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest. Billy shakes his head, his curls falling across his forehead.

“You’re missing the point.” He tells you, deflecting the question. 

“What point is that?” You ask, shaking your head as you dig a quarter out of your pocket and lean over to place it into the game. When you straighten up Billy has taken a step into your space. You could take a step back to give yourself some room, but you don't. You stand your ground, tilting your head up to meet his stare head on. 

“The point is that you’re playing a game you don’t know the rules of and guys like that-” he jerks his chin in the direction Keith had run off. “Will take advantage of that.” he tells you, his voice low. You know he’s too close. That you should take a step back. That the way he’s looking down at you is too personal. That either one of you could close the distance between you with a breath. 

“I’m not really good at games.” you admit, feeling the heat rushing to your face. Still you can’t seem to look away. Billy’s sharp gaze seems to soften slightly at your admission. 

“I know…” He says softly, his eyes shifting between yours. “I just watched you die 4 times and not even make it past the first level of Pac-man.” He says, his teasing smirk overtaking all the gentleness that had once been in his eyes. Finally, you pull back shocked.

“You stalker!” you accuse, Billy just chuckles turning to face the game. “And I was multitasking.” you try to defend your abysmal performance, gesturing to the group now huddled around galaga. 

“Sure, sure. Let me show you how it’s done.” he says confidently, starting the queued up game. 

“Hey! That was my quarter!” You protest. Billy only chuckles again.

“I’ll get the next one, crazy.” he tells you, keeping his eyes fixed on the screen.

AN: sorry this took so long... again!

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[enhas-pov]

my bully

summary: jake has been bullying reader since elementary school. he’s always picking on her, inappropriately or not, but it’s just not enough for him. he decides to try something new.

warnings: bullying, unwanted touching, teasing, cursing, slapping, making out

word count: 1.9k

════════════════════════

sim jaeyun who’s just known as jake is the worst person alive. i absolutely hate him, why? because he’s my bully. it all started in elementary school when i was 6 and he was 7. i was making a sand castle when out of nowhere he decided to destroy it right in front of me. he threw sand in my face after, laughed at me and ran away. i’ve never even done anything to him so i have no idea why he’s like this with me. we’re in high school now, i’m 17 and he’s 18. is he still bullying me? sadly. here’s a recap of some of the stuff he’s done to me.

1. i needed to get my homework out of my locker to give to my teacher, but of course jake was standing right there in front of it. “jake. could you please move out of the way? i just need to get my homework..” “yeah, sure” i was surprised when he moved to the side for me, he’s never been nice like this. but i opened my locker, grabbed my homework and closed my locker. i did it quick so i could get away from jake who was stood next to me just staring. when i tried walking away, i felt him grab me by my arm and pull me back. “hey. before you go, could i get the answers to the homework? i forgot to do it” he reached his hand out, signing me to hand over my homework so he could copy my answers. i knew that if i didn’t he’d do something bad to me, so i handed it to him. what did he do? he started ripping up my fucking homework for no reason. he didn’t even copy my answers first, what the hell?!

2. it was extremely hot outside, to the point where my sweat was dripping. i had put on some shorts and a tank top and it wasn’t just me who did so, everyone else were dressed the exact same way. i have history with jake, and for some fucking reason the teacher sat us next to each other. just my luck. the teacher asked us a question that absolutely no one knew the answer to, so he just picked a random student to answer the question. guess who that was, jake. “uhh, don’t know the answer. i’m pretty distracted right now” i was confused to why he looked at me when he talked about being distracted, but when the teacher went back to talking i understood exactly why. jake got extremely close to me and started whispering in my ear. “is that top too small for you, or are your tits just too big? you’re such a slut for wearing that. are you trying to get my attention? it’s working damn well-“ i pushed him away when he brought his hand up and squeezed my boob. fucking pervert.

3. i was walking home after school before i got cornered by jake. we’re basically neighbors, so this usually happens a lot since we have to walk the same way. “come on. take it off for me” he was tugging at the end of my skirt like a desperate puppy. he’s so weird. “fuck off jake” i tried to push him away, but he just grabbed me by my face with his hand and made me look at him. “don’t curse at me bitch. i could easily fuck you up, don’t test me” he let go, but slapped me harshly before walking away leaving me with a bright red mark on my cheek, how nice of him.

4. i was late to class again for like the millionth time. i was walking a bit too fast trying to get to class and accidentally bumped into someone. my glasses got knocked off my face which was just great, and it was even better when i looked up to see that it was jake i bumped into. (i wanted to die at that moment) i mumbled a quick sorry before reaching down to get my glasses. i was confused when he stopped me by placing his hand on my shoulder, but that was until i heard the sound of glass breaking. he had stepped on my glasses, and on purpose. of course he did. “why would you do that?!” i yelled in his face, those glasses weren’t cheap. “my bad. it was really just an accident” he winked at me before walking away which made me gag.

anyways, guess who just got detention. not me but jake did and i have never been happier. i used to study alone in the library, but then i couldn’t anymore since jake found out and he’d always be there to disturb my peace. i happily sat down on my chair in the empty library and placed my books down on the table, i started doing some reading and writing when the door to the library suddenly opened. “hello?” i called out, but saw and heard no one. it must’ve been the janitor? i don’t know. i just went back to studying. “you’re such a fucking nerd” i knew exactly who it was by the sound of their voice, it was jake of course. “aren’t you supposed to be in detention?” i didn’t bother to look at him, i continued studying since i didn’t want to give him the satisfaction that he was ruining it for me. “i was until i saw you walking in here. this is much more entertaining than detention” he pulled one of the chairs back and sat down right next to me. the book i was reading, he grabbed it right out of my hands and started reading it himself. “hmm. oh, yes. very interesting” or at least he was pretending to read it. “it’s not funny. give it back” i tried to grab it, but he was quick to pull away. “get it then” he waved the book in front of me, and i could tell by the look on his face that he was enjoying this. i tried to grab it again, and he pulled away once again. i tried for a third time, a fourth time and then a fifth time. it pissed me off when he started laughing at me. he kept on pulling away and i have had enough of it. i got up from my chair and decided to just leave, i wasn’t gonna deal with his bullshit anymore. but before i could walk away, he quickly stood up and stopped me by grabbing me by my arm. “wait. here” he had the book in his hand and reached it out to me. i raised my eyebrows at him, questioning if he was actually going to give it to me this time. “take it” he reached his hand out a little bit further. i sighed before trying to grab the book from him once again and he let go of it, letting it fall to the floor. of course he did.

even tho i was mad at him, i didn’t want to start anything. i crouched down, picked the book up and turned around back to the table. i placed the book down and slightly jumped when i felt jake pressing his body close up against my back. “what are you doing..?” without giving me an answer, he used his hand to move my hair away from my neck and leaned in close. i felt a shiver run down my spine at the feeling of his breath against my skin. “get off me, jaeyun” i tried to move my body away from his but i was unsuccessful. i was stuck between him and the table, it was too tight for me to move. “i’m good right here. do you mind?” he brought his hand up from under my shirt and slowly made his way up to my boob. he ran his thumb over my nipple before squeezing my breast. “i’ve always wanted to touch them” he whispered in my ear. i swallowed nervously before accidentally moaning his name, which i guess he took as a sign to go further. he started placing small kisses all over my neck that turned into sucking and biting. i whimpered at the pain, but it weirdly felt good. after he had left a trail of hickeys down my neck, he stuck out his tongue and licked over it after. for some reason i couldn’t help myself. i turned around to face jake, and not even a second later i smashed my lips onto his and he didn’t resist me. i obviously knew jake was a bad person. he did a lot of horrible things to me, and every single time i’ve let him get away with it. but there’s something about him that made me forget everything he did to me in this exact moment.

the kiss turned messy. he ran his hands down my chest all the way to the ends of my top and pulling it over my head, exposing my bare chest to him. he attached his lips to mine again, this time entering his tongue in my mouth. i brought my hands up to tug on his hair which made him let out a moan. we were all over each other and we both wanted more. i felt him place his hand on my inner thigh, dangerously close to my core. as he got closer and closer i could feel myself getting wet at the thought of his fingers inside of me. he pulled away from the kiss but barley, our lips weren’t touching but they were still really close to each other. i bit down on my lip when i felt him move my panties to the side. he ran his finger down my slit making me moan. i placed my hand on his shoulder for support, but when i looked up at him something seemed off. he was smirking at me exactly like how he would when he was making fun of me. “jake?” i was really confused when he removed his hand and took a few steps back. “you look like a mess” he laughed at me. my tits were out, my pussy was exposed, i had a bunch of hickeys on my neck, my lipstick was smudged, my hair was messy, and- …fuck you jake. i was too embarrassed to say anything, i also didn’t realize how he had reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out. “say cheese” he had snapped a picture of my practically naked body. is he serious? i never thought he’d go this far. “delete that!” i was hurrying to put my top back on and adjusting my panties while jake was just stood there watching me. once i made myself look decent i walked over to jake and tried to grab the phone out of his hand, but of course failed to. “calm down, ___. i’m not gonna show it to anyone. it’s just for me” “are you gonna jerk off to it or something, jake?” he’s absolutely disgusting for this. i shouldn’t have let myself get into this mess. “might as well. you look really fucking hot” he looked me up and down with the same smirk on his lips. “let’s finish this another time, yeah?” he placed his phone back into his pocket before leaving the library and me all by myself. i’m actually gonna kill him.

[heartofbusan]

I’m new to the fandom, I found the show on Disney and couldn’t look away. Jimin and Jungkook are so cute I had to know more about them. I found my way here to tumblr, it’s been a while since I’ve been involved in a fandom, but I do love their music and they seem to be such a cute couple!

I Read on here though that some people think these two were distant in the past year? I came across it looking for the way the travel show came to be, not that I found anything about that other than what was said on the show. I was just wondering why they made it and not fully with the group? I know some were enlisted at the time? Anyway, the take I found on a blog shocked me. This person saying they are either Fwb, they broke up or were just distant? But how can that be when they made this show? They seem so in tune with each other and domestic? And to enlist, which I learnt hadn’t been done before for an idol?

I just See commitment and got weirded out by said comments by people supposedly supporting them. I’ve never seen that in a fandom space before. I found some of your posts and you seemed level headed and I just wanted to ask your pov?

Thank you

Hi, and welcome to the fandom. Are you a BTS fan as well or just jikook? I'm so curious �� maybe they'll be your gateway drug to BTS and that would be WILD. Bcs shipping, or in jikook's case supporting, is usually something that happens once you look deeper into certain interactions or vibes.

And Jikook have vibes to spare! So it doesn't surprise me that you pick up on that.

When it comes to jikook I think the best way to approach them as you travel in these spaces is to just enjoy them for what they present to you. What you see, is what you get. Now, tbh some people look SO closely they think they're seeing things that aren't even there. They think they can infer motivation and emotions and whole backstories cut from cloth all from A LOOK, usually from a three second clip heavily slowed down 😂. I think it's much simpler than that. You see it. You put 2 and 2 together when you said 'they enlisted together'.

That's everything right there.

Jimin and Jungkook chose to be together. They've been choosing eo since they were teenagers. They're the ones who are most often seen together. No matter the setting. Jikook speak the same language, one borne of love and respect. They see the other, truly see, flaws and all and still love and support. They know things about the other they themselves can't know or see about themselves.

I'll be honest and say that I, too, thought at a certain point thar they might have cooled it down at a certain point. They are humans, after all, and relationships aren't always easy. In my eyes, they are mature enough to be able to revert back to friendship if that were to ever happen. Yet, I don't think they'd be able to stay away from each other. They really have something special going, and why would you deny yourself such a thing?!

I need to say, though, that jikook are not the first idols ever to enlist in the buddy program. Though I can't tell you who did.

It’s noteworthy because once again, jikook chose to deviate from what the other BTS members were doing. Defying everyone: their haters, solos, and the general fandom. But...jikook gonna jikook. No matter the eyerolling and haw clenching. And that, that takes some real guts.

The reason jikook did the travel show together and not with the group is because the others are not a part of their symbiosis. Easy as that. Jikook have something else going on. Something that makes them want to spend extra time together. This, however, does not threaten the group, nor the other friendships within, nor the special bonds they each have with other people. But it is different. And whomever doesn't see that is just being wilfully ignorant.

So, there it is. Plain and simple. By enlisting together, jikook are once again not hiding the (to some) obvious. It's just another step towards that something they've been nurturing. They've been doing it for years. No matter the cost. And that is not something you'd do with a fuck buddy 😌🙂‍↕️ right?

Thanks for your ask! 💜

[galactic-magick]

But Then I Saw You: Adam Warlock x Reader

Summary: Adam can’t take his eyes off you and he doesn’t understand why.

Words: 0.7k+

Warnings: SPOILERS!!

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Adam was slowly but surely learning to navigate his new life—a far different one than he ever thought he’d be living.

Between missions with the other Guardians, his new home is Knowhere. He has his own small apartment with an overlook of the city, and he’s been trying to inegrate himself into the community. It’s difficult, considering he violently destroyed the place less than a year ago, yet he’s made a decent amount of friends.

There’s one person he still hasn’t figured out how to talk to, though, and that’s you.

Adam sees you around town nearly everyday, and the sight of you always makes him feel something different. He doesn’t understand why he can’t just talk to you like he does everyone else, the nervousness always stopping him. He’s been made well aware that he left his cocoon too early, and therefore isn’t fully developed, but this feeling isn’t something he ever heard mentioned by his mother or his people.

“Ya know, it’s a good thing you don’t have laser eyes or something, because they’d be dead from all your staring,” Rocket jokes, catching Adam looking at you again.

“I don’t know why I can’t stop looking at them,” Adam says.

“Sounds like you got a crush, golden boy,”

“I am Groot,” Groot agrees.

“What’s a crush?” Adam asks, intrigued.

“Oh, geez, do I have to be the one to explain it to him?”

Groot steps up, wrapping a vine around Adam’s shoulders, “I am Groot. I am Groot, I am Groot. I am Groot! I am Groot?”

“Yeah, that makes sense. I guess we just don’t usually have those romantic type feelings in my species. We reproduce through genetic engineering and birthing pods, so we don’t have the need to be attracted to each other like that,”

“Okay, so what’s wrong with you then?” Rocket laughs.

“I don’t know,” Adam catches another glance at you. “But maybe it’s not a bad thing,”

“I am Groot?”

Rocket cackles again, “No way am I giving him dating advice, Groot. Go ask Drax or something, he’s the one who’s been married before,”

-

Adam doesn’t waste much time, so later that day he asks Drax how he should talk to you. Of course Draw tells him about how he met his wife, talking about his attraction to her in graphic detail. Adam hangs onto every word, taking everything in as if he’d be quizzed on it. He asks lots of questions, trying to figure out how best to express his interest in you. Eventually he thinks he has it down, so next time he sees you, he’s determined to make his move.

Fortunately, that time comes pretty fast, and he sees you sitting in the main square on his way home. He sits beside you, attempting to be somewhat covert and casual.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi,” you reply with a smile. “You’re Adam, right?”

“You know who I am?”

“Well, yeah, everyone here knows who you are,” you shrug. “Plus I see you staring at me a lot so I’ve asked some people what your deal is,”

Adam loses his entire train of thought, quickly realizing his plan had already failed. He clearly already weirded you out by his behavior, and he didn’t want to further discomfort you.

“I’m sorry,” are the only words he finds to say.

“Why?” you laugh. “I’m not mad, I’ve just been waiting for you to actually talk to me,”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to know what’s so interesting about me. Do I look like someone you knew or something?”

He’s relieved to know you’re not upset with his terrible social skills, but he still doesn’t know quite how to respond. How is he to explain how seeing you makes him feel?

“The truth is,” he starts, “I thought my people were supposed to be the most beautiful and perfect species in the universe...but then I saw you,”

Now it’s your turn to lose all words and thoughts from your mind. Is the Adam Warlock into you?

“I never meant to scare you, and I understand if you don’t feel similar feelings towards me,” he stand up, “I hope you have a lovely evening,”

“Wait, hang on Adam,” you stop him from leaving. “Why didn’t you just ask me out?”

“Out where?”

You laugh, his confusion endearing, “Anywhere, goldie. I need to get to know you better before I decide if I like you too, don’t I?”

“Ah, yes! Great idea,” he nods. “I will ask you out tomorrow, then,”

“Not now?”

“I need to go home now to feed my pet,”

“Of course,” you smile. “Tomorrow, then,”

He flies up into the air, leaving you to look forward to whatever he comes up with.

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Read this to make a Guardians request!

[faulty-writes]

hi hi! i’m the anon who asked for the sir nighteyes daughter!reader x iida a while back, and i want to say i felt honored to have a fic, let alone a two-parter!

i was wondering if you could do and iida x fem/gn!reader where the reader helps him when he has to pull out his engines in order to grow new ones (if you didn’t know it’s a thing in their family and ripping them out means they’ll grow back stronger) just fluff and comfort!!!

Oh yes, I’m glad you enjoyed it. Sorry, there wasn’t much mention of Sir Nighteye, but I figured it was best to have the piece start after his death. Still, I always love a good Sir Nighteye request. As for this new request, I think I remember reading that in the manga. Tensei tells him about it because their grandfather or someone else did it and it’s like some Iida family secret. Anyhow, that sounds good. I love fluff, comfort, and a little pain. It’s been a while since I’ve done a Tenya piece, so let’s get started.

You didn’t expect Tenya to stop you at the end of the day to ask you something like this, and your lips were spread out in a thin line, processing what you could say in response. You shifted on your feet, adjusting your posture slightly before tilting your head to one side.

Yeah, this was awkward but there was only one way to make it…less awkward. “Uh, heh heh…” you chuckled, and sweat beads began to form across your forehead. It was one thing not to understand Tenya when he was talking about everyday things.

But this…this was not that. In fact, you were a little unclear as to what he was asking, why he was asking it, and why he wanted your assistance with it. Not that you could deny a fellow hero and friend’s request, but you had one little question.

“C-can you explain what you want me to do again, Iida?” Despite knowing that he hated repeating himself, you just wanted to make sure you 100% accurately understood what he was asking in the first place. He took a deep breath, sighing softly, and you frowned.

It wasn’t hard to tell he was annoyed with you, but even so, you knew he would be polite. “I see,” he replied, clasping his chin, “your lack of understanding is quite acceptable.” Well, he didn’t have to point that out so bluntly. Regardless, you remained quiet as he continued to speak.

“I do realize that my request is rather strange, and under normal circumstances, I do not believe I would ask for assistance,” although he was aware he would be invading your personal space, he took a step forward. “Uh,” your eyebrows knit again, and the faintest flush filled your cheeks.

You weren’t shy about others invading your personal space, but Tenya towered over you. In addition, despite knowing him well, he still had an intimidating aura about him. This was evident from the serious glint in his eye as if he were staring straight into your soul.

“However, I find your presence rather comforting, and I understand you have a history of helping others similar to Midoriya and Asui,” he explained, chopping his hand lightly in the air. “Um…” you took a step back and turned your head to the side.

It was a little weird that he had come to that conclusion. Then again, you had taken the time to train yourself under Recovery Girl, learned a few things about first aid, and enjoyed helping your fellow hero students heal their wounds when needed.

This mostly involved patching them up with bandages or wraps after having properly cleaned their scrapes and bruises. Still, you didn’t think that Tenya paid that much attention to you. Granted, he was class president and tended to take that role too seriously. As such, he probably observed everyone and categorized them in his head.

“Please,” his voice snapped you out of your momentary thoughts and you glanced back at him. Your throat tightened and your mouth felt dry when you noticed the expression he was wearing. His eyes sparkled with that same unwavering seriousness, and his square and masculine jaw was set firmly.

Although his shoulders appeared tense, his posture was upright and composed, contributing to the sense of authority that dripped from him like a rapid waterfall. You weren’t sure if the rush of warmth that once again illuminated your cheeks was because of his appearance or the sense of masculinity that surrounded him.

“Hm!?” You flinched when he suddenly bowed, his hands pressed firmly at his sides. “Uh,” you blinked again, your lips parted in awe. “I wish for your assistance with this task,” he stated, “I am quite aware this will cause a moment of discomfort,” perhaps for the both of you.

“However,” he leaned back up. “If I am to reach my desired goal as a hero, this is necessary. Once my mufflers are extracted, my body will provide new ones,” he explained, even though it pained him to see that pitiful and concerned look on your face.

He clenched his hands into fists. Yes…he knew that you despised seeing others hurt, especially if it was self-injurious or self-inflicted. But he was not doing this to have some short-felt relief from his troubles. Rather just as he stated, he was doing this to reach his goal of becoming a worthy hero.

“I will become stronger, and more reliable,” he stated, his voice growing deeper, and his eyebrows slanted. “Just as a worthy hero should be,” his goals and the lengths he was willing to go to achieve them were admirable and, in a way, made you feel insignificant.

However, you knew this was not his intention, and as he stepped closer, you could feel the heat radiating from his body. Your heart began to beat wildly as you looked at him, not daring to break eye contact. Why was it that he could draw you in so easily?

“I wish for you to assist me in accomplishing that goal,” your breath hitched, and your eyes widened yet shined with such warmth a smile came to his face. He knew your answer, however, he remained quiet and waited patiently for your response.

You swallowed hard, trying to rid yourself of the lump in your throat. Your heightened heart rate echoed in your ears like a melody, urging you to speak before time was up. His eyebrows raised when you let out a slow, deliberate exhale as if you were trying to gather your thoughts in anticipation of the response he was waiting for.

Your stomach twisted knowing that what you were about to agree to help him with would cause him pain. Yet, you gathered your courage as a hero should. “Okay,” the word felt heavy on your tongue, and you glanced toward the floor, finding your shoes more interesting than Tenya right now.

However, despite your momentary shyness, he continued to smile and leaned down. “Pardon,” he said, gently laying his hands on your shoulders. “Huh?” Your eyes widened, his gentle grip was comforting and compelled you to raise your head.

The smile he was wearing illuminated his face, like the sun kissing your skin with its golden rays, his happy expression bathed you in security. “Thank you,” he said, causing you to chuckle and turn away from him. He really didn’t have to thank you, or at least you didn’t think so.

Then again, that was Tenya for you. Always kind and considerate. “Um…” the rubber sole of your shoe created a soft squeaking sound when you grazed your foot along the floor. “You’re welcome?” You’d regret helping him with this, wouldn’t you?

That thought aside when Tenya dropped his hands from your shoulders, you looked back at him. “Um, so w-where are you going to do this?” You asked, noting that his eyebrows rose at your question. “Hm…” he hummed lightly, clasping his chin in contemplation.

“I had planned to perform it at the Iida Estate,” he replied, feeling as though doing it at his home would be ideal and less risky than doing it on student campus grounds. “Huh?” You knit your eyebrows, his house? It’s sad to think that you haven’t been to any of your classmates’ houses before.

Not that you weren’t friendly, you had plenty of friends. Some in the hero course, some in general studies, and even in the support department. But maybe there was no need to visit one another’s houses because the students of Yuuei lived in the provided student housing.

“O-oh...I mean uh,” you tapped your lips, your eyes shifting back and forth. “If…that’s what you want, that’s fine,” even though you were worried about how well his family would react to your presence. If they were anything like Tenya, social class didn’t matter.

“Hm?” He narrowed his eyes, sensing your discomfort. “Apologies,” he said, pressing a hand to his chest. “Hm? What are you apologizing for?” You asked, placing your hands on your hips. “You seem rather hesitant. Would you prefer this…activity be performed in another location?” he asked.

“No, no, no!” You held up your hands, waving them like mad. “I-it’s just that I h-haven’t been to anyone’s house since enrolling at Yuuei, hah hah!” You rubbed the back of your head awkwardly despite the pathetic smile on your face. His eyebrows lowered as he stared at you, finding your reaction rather strange.

“I see,” he replied before taking a breath. Perhaps you were nervous, as one should be when entering unknown territory. “I can assure you that you do not need to be anxious,” he stated, lifting his hand to rapidly chop it through the air again.

“The Iida family prides itself on mannerisms and heroics!” He announced proudly. “As such, I can assure you that you will not face any judgment nor criticism while at the Iida Estate,” honestly, if being a hero doesn’t work out, Tenya could easily make a living as a motivational speaker.

“Heh, i-is that right?” You replied, your cheeks colored a soft red. Tenya certainly had a way with words, and it made you happy to see someone so passionate about something, even if it was considered insignificant by most.

Knowing he was saying all this to make you feel comfortable in his house was also very sweet. “Yes,” he said, smiling. “I do hope we are in agreement then,” you closed your eyes, feeling a smile come to your face. “Yeah,” you said, chuckling.

“I’ll help you, and we can…do, uh, what you wanna do at your house,” you replied before making sure your locker was shut. “So, when did you want to do this anyway?” You asked, turning your attention back to him before you walked toward the exit.

Your classmates had already left, but you knew Tenya’s friends, Izuku and Uraraka, would no doubt ask you questions when the two of you returned to the first-year dormitory. Not that you minded, even if it was a bit annoying, they were only looking out for Tenya’s best interest as friends should.

“My schedule is quite clear on Saturday, perhaps yours is as well?” He suggested, and you couldn’t help but snicker. You can only imagine what he’d sound like if he tried asking someone on a date. The crisp air caressed your skin as you stepped outside, and the earthy aroma of damp soil and fresh flowers filled your nostrils.

A certain tension seemed to roll off your shoulders, more than likely your body relaxing from a hard day’s work at school. “Yeah,” you replied, tilting your head to look at the sky. It was bathed in a soft blue color with seldom clouds that floated along without a care.

You paused and turned to Tenya who was diligently following you. “Hm?” He stopped short, and the sound of gentle birds chirping, and distant traffic enveloped the air for a moment. “I can do Saturday,” you confirmed before resuming walking.

Tenya was certainly someone to be admired, and although the rest of the walk was done in silence, there was an odd comfort that lingered between the two of you. Knowing what he wanted to do but that he was doing it for selfless reasons made you wish you could be that selfless.

Of course, while it’s good to admire someone, you shouldn’t try to be like them. Rather you should use their kind acts as a source of inspiration, and if helping Tenya with this task was your way of performing a kind act, then you’d do it to the best of your ability.

That’s right, Tenya won’t know what hit him! You’ll be the greatest source of comfort for him when he…pulls out his engines. Yikes, that does sound painful, but there was no backing down now. Luckily you had a few days to compose yourself, even though the closer Saturday came, the more nervous you felt.

Still, time stopped for no one, and when the day finally arrived, you tried your best to gather courage when you found yourself standing at the front doors of the Iida Estate. Tenya was by your side, and he turned to you, offering a kind smile.

“Heh…” you awkwardly chuckled and tried your best to return it. Luckily the sound of a lock clicking, and the loud squeak of the front door distracted you. “Hm?!” Your body tensed up, and you slowly turned to look at who was standing in the doorway. You expected a butler, a servant of some kind.

Instead, you were greeted by the sight of an older woman. She had soft, coal-colored eyes and like Tenya, wore glasses although they were oval-shaped. Her hair was ear length and dark with bangs that fell perfectly across her forehead.

You noticed the smooth white top she was wearing matched perfectly with her soft blue cardigan. A dark-colored skirt with Mary Jane’s completed her outfit. She had a kind and gentle aura, and her eyes sparkled with recognition when she looked at her son.

“Tenya,” she said, embracing him in a hug. He returned the gesture, wrapping his arms protectively but carefully around her. “It’s wonderful to see you,” she said, smiling as she leaned back. “Yes, it’s wonderful to see you as well, mother,” he stated before looking at you.

“This is Y/n,” once again, you chuckled awkwardly before lifting your hand. “H-hello,” you said, half-heartedly waving. Mrs. Iida’s eyes widened, almost like she was misunderstanding your greeting, but she soon smiled and approached.

“Yes, Y/n,” she stopped in front of you and reached out, gently taking your hands. “Tenya has informed me about you,” she said casually, making your eyebrows knit. “O-oh?” You glanced past her to Tenya who seemed to be standing as confidently as ever.

“That’s correct,” he said, walking over to the two of you and laying his hand gently on his mother’s shoulder. “I do hope that is alright, I believed it would be most appropriate to inform mother about you beforehand,” he confessed, and she nodded in agreement.

“Yes, it’s so wonderful that Tenya has someone like you to help him with this task,” she said cheerfully. “Uh, r-right,” you replied, wondering if you were just making a fool of yourself. But you did promise you’d try your best to be a source of comfort for Tenya, and if his mother approved of you, that was a good thing, right?

She continued to smile even as she released your hands, then she turned to Tenya. “I also informed your father. He won’t disturb the two of you,” she assured, and he nodded. “Very well, thank you,” he said before looking in your direction.

He then walked around his mother and stood in front of you. “I will show you to the courtyard,” he said, and your eyebrow twitched. ��This house has a courtyard!?’ You were used to living in such small spaces, you couldn’t imagine if you ever owned property with a courtyard.

Nevertheless, you followed Tenya and as the two of you walked away, his mother exclaimed, “Lunch will be ready soon!” You couldn’t imagine yourself having an appetite after this venture was over, and that would probably double for Tenya considering he’d be in the most pain.

Then again, he did have a stubborn underlying nature about him and more than likely would feel it appropriate to eat so he could give his body strength after putting it through such an ordeal. Regardless, your stomach was twisted into enough knots right now, and it was unlikely that you’d be able to keep food down.

The sun was shining, bathing everything in its gentle glow. Like before, the sky was clear apart from the few clouds that passed by. The courtyard was rather large with lush green grass that crunched underneath the weight of your foot.

“Wow,” you said, feeling a soft breeze kiss your skin and ruffle your hair. “It’s beautiful,” you turned to Tenya smiling, and he nodded. “Yes, I suppose it’s quite pleasing,” he replied, although having grown up in the Iida Estate, he knew that at times he was blind to the treasures he had.

However, that was not his primary concern now. Rather it was what he had set out to do, what you had agreed to help him with. “Please follow me,” he instructed, motioning with his hand. “Huh, oh…right,” you said, slumping your shoulders.

Regardless, you did as requested and noticed that he had guided you to the spot where a large tree and a wooden box sat. You raised your eyebrow when you noticed that a first aid kit rested against the tree and looked at Tenya who was rolling the legs of his Yuuei gym uniform up.

“Um, what’s the…” you lazily pointed at it, and Tenya paused, following your pointed finger. His eyes lingered on it before drifting back to you. “You are skilled in first aid, correct?” He asked, making you tense up. “Uh…” you rubbed your opposite arm.

“Y-yeah, but…” How intense would this be if he had a first aid kit on hand?! Your stomach was now overwhelmed causing you to feel nauseous, but you squeezed your eyes shut and swallowed, forcing the unpleasant sensation down. ‘This is a good thing,’ you tried to remind yourself.

It means he trusted your abilities to patch him up if something went wrong. He raised his eyebrow. “Yes?” He replied, urging you to continue. “Mm…” you mumbled and looked at him with half-lidded eyes. “N-nothing,” you said, shaking your head.

“Uh, thank you for trusting my abilities, I won’t let you down,” you promised and although Tenya found your words strange, he nodded. “I did not expect your abilities to be inferior, rather I believe you were the best choice in such a matter,” your heart skipped a beat at his words.

Best choice!? “Heh, uh, right, yeah,” you replied before taking a deep breath to calm your racing heart. Tenya lowered himself to a sitting position and propped one leg onto the wooden box. You watched his calve expand, and six exhaust pipes appeared.

‘Just how far are those things embedded into his body?’ You shuddered to think about it and shook your head, clearing your mind. ‘Well, I guess that doesn’t matter, he’s going to do this whether either of us likes it,’ you gazed at him, his tense expression, the anticipation of pain he was awaiting.

More specifically, you noticed the way he was clenching his jaw, and more than likely that would result in more pain when he began removing his exhaust pipes. His fingertips grazed the bottom of one, and his body tensed up when he slowly wrapped his fingers around it, making sure he had a good grip.

He could feel his teeth giving slight resistance, aching softly as they were forced to press against one another. Of course, this was ignored by him, and he was prepared to pull when your hand grasped his shoulder. He jumped in response and turned to look at you.

“Wait a minute,” you said, holding one finger up. “You can’t just start pulling those things out without taking a few precautions,” you pointed out, trying to reason with him. “Give me a moment,” you urged, walking to the first aid kit.

You carefully opened it and took out a chuck and a white cloth. “I know it’s just grass, but I’d prefer any blood get on the chuck,” you said, laying it underneath his leg. “It will absorb any blood that comes and make less of a mess,” you clarified before folding the cloth into a small square.

You crouched down and presented it to him. He raised his eyebrow, and you couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s for you to bite down on,” you explained, “so you won’t hurt your jaw.” Or at least not as much. He seemed hesitant, but after a few seconds, he took it from you.

“Thank you,” he promptly placed it in his mouth, allowing his teeth to sink into it like an animal into a fresh kill. You smiled and walked around him. You wanted to bring him comfort, but how would you do that while he was ripping those pipes out?

“Mm…” you tapped your foot against the ground a few times as a couple of ideas floated through your head. Tenya wasn’t one to refuse affection, although he was one to respect another’s personal space, at least most of the time, and more than likely he expected the same.

But he asked for your help, right? So, did that give you the right to supersede his personal space boundaries? You were so lost in your thoughts that you failed to realize that he, yet again, had grasped one of his exhaust pipes securely.

His body resumed its tense stance, and a small amount of saliva began to drip from the corner of his mouth, no doubt a natural reaction from how intensely he was biting into the cloth. His muscles strained and a muffled scream sounded when he began to pull said exhaust pipe out.

As expected, blood began to drip down the metal structure, staining Tenya’s hand and landing on the chuck. Your heart ached when you heard the muffled scream, and the sight of the blood-stained chuck sent your worries spiraling.

Your knees gave out, and as if acting on their own accord, your arms wrapped around him. You made sure your grip was secure, but not restrictive in case his body jerked. Still, you hoped your embrace was comforting even in his moment of pain.

You swallowed thickly, wondering what else you could do. Yes, hugging was fine. But there had to be something else, you couldn’t just hug him and patch him up after everything was over. Your lip trembled, forcing you to press your teeth against it before drawing it into your mouth.

You nervously chewed on it, feeling Tenya’s body tense up when another painful groan came after he finished pulling out the first exhaust pipe. Crimson lines continued to drip from its metal surface, further staining his hand.

His jaw was aching, and his eyes overflowed with tears, he certainly underestimated the pain this would cause him. But now that he had begun, he couldn’t stop, and your warm embrace only reminded him of why he was doing this.

Yes, he needed to be stronger. A better hero for you and everyone. You heard him audibly swallow accompanied by the sound of him dropping the exhaust pipe onto the chuck. His body relaxed for a few seconds before tensing up again when he wrapped his fingers around the second pipe.

‘What can I do…’ you thought. ‘He’s done so much for everyone, and whenever he talks he-’ Your eyes widened. Wait…that was it! Of course! Why didn’t you think of that before? Your nails dug into the front of his uniform, and you brought your lips to his ear.

“Focus on my voice, okay?” You whispered, your tone gentle and inviting. His eyes widened, and he couldn’t help but tremble when your hot breath brushed against the skin of his neck. Although he was currently unable to speak, he nodded.

Your heart began to quicken, and instead of a nauseating feeling, you felt a burst of butterflies in your stomach. You could hardly believe what you were about to say, but if it helped him then you had no choice. “You’re strong,” you whispered, “I know you can get through this and be an amazing hero.”

Cheesy, yes. Effective, also yes. You could feel his body relax, and although you couldn’t tell, your words struck a chord in him. “I believe in you and your ability to overcome this obstacle,” despite having the cloth in his mouth, Tenya gave a twisted smile and began pulling out the second exhaust pipe.

Like before, blood began to spill but he continued to the next one. “Remember, every challenge you face makes you stronger, more resilient…” you said, cheering him on with positive affirmations. However, this didn’t cease the tension in the air, and for good reasons considering this was a very intense situation.

Tenya managed to push through and as he was removing the final exhaust pipe, you smiled. Was it strange to feel a sense of pride watching your friend finish what he was doing? You decided it was best not to think about it, and instead, nuzzled your face against the top of his head.

Your hands were now firmly placed on his shoulders, and with one final affirmation of, “You’re my hero Tenya,” the task was complete. He pushed the cloth which was now damp with saliva out of his mouth and his soft pants came.

His muscles finally relaxed, and his shoulders slumped, more than likely he’d need some time to recover. You firmly pressed your head against his for a few quiet minutes. “Let me get some supplies from the first aid kit,” you said, breaking the silence when you leaned away from him.

“I need to patch up that leg of yours, okay?” You offered him a smile when he turned to look at you and proceeded to get disinfectant, another chuck, bandage wraps, and so on. “Here,” you rolled the bloodied chuck up before placing the new one down.

“Now…” you smiled and slipped a pair of medical gloves on before you instructed Tenya to lower his leg from the box. Once that was done, you carefully wiped the blood off his lower leg and hand before disinfecting the fresh wounds on his leg.

Finally, you dressed it and carefully gathered your used materials up before throwing them away. “There,” you said, now sitting next to him. It felt like hours had passed, not that you minded. While this experience was a little intense, you were glad he asked you to help him.

The two of you sat in silence again, and you looked up at the sky, watching the clouds pass by. You seemed oblivious that Tenya was staring at you with a smile on his face. He was truly grateful to you; surely, he’d need to repay your kindness.

“Heh,” you chuckled, making him raise his eyebrow. “Did my positive affirmations work wonders for you?” He knit his eyebrows, somewhat confused by your question, and focused his attention forward. “I suppose they did,” he replied, feeling almost nervous about the next set of words he was going to speak.

“But…that is not the only thing you performed that aided me,” he clarified. “Huh, what do you mean?” You asked, turning your attention to him. Although you were a little worried when he placed his hand on the grass next to you and leaned forward.

“Uh,” you leaned back instinctively, but that’s when Tenya’s arms shot out. “Pardon,” he said, and your breath hitched when he embraced you, pulling you into his chest. Your eyes widened, and your nose was immediately filled with his musky scent that resembled a warm blend of cedarwood.

Although your body was tense as you were not used to this kind of embrace, you found yourself relaxing after a few moments and brought your arms up, half-heartedly returning the hug. Your breath hitched again when his hand tangled itself into the back of your hair.

Your eyes widen at the realization that he could be this affectionate. “The way you embraced me,” he said, almost hesitantly, “helped greatly as well.” Your heart fluttered at his words, and you lifted your head, locking eyes with him. You noticed they held as sincere of a glance as ever and smiled.

You lowered your head down and resumed nuzzling your face into his chest. Sighing contently, you said, “I’m glad.” His hands slipped through the back of your hair again. “As am I,” his voice was soft, just above a whisper, but he could not deny the happiness he felt at this moment.

If you were being honest, you could probably stay in Tenya’s arms forever. Unfortunately, this was unrealistic, and your head popped up again when you heard a door sliding open. You looked past Tenya toward the veranda where his mother stood, her lips parted in awe.

To think she’d see her son embracing another was certainly a sight to behold, but she tried to remain calm and folded her hands in front of her. “Apologies,” she said, trying to hold back laughter. “I wanted to inform you that lunch is ready,” with that, she turned and walked back inside.

“Huh…” you blinked, somewhat confused by her reaction, and looked at Tenya. “Perhaps it is best if we have sustenance,” he stated, dropping his arms from around you. Although he winced some when he stood up thanks to the dull ache that coursed through his freshly dressed leg.

However, it was nothing compared to the pain he felt when he removed his exhaust pipes. You frowned when you heard him wince but knew that he would put up a brave front. You were also disappointed that the hug ended but quickly shifted your focus to his outstretched hand.

“Shall we?” he asked, making you raise your eyebrow. “Are you sure you can walk with your leg bandaged up like that?” You asked, pointing to it. He frowned in response to your question, not that he wasn’t grateful for your concern. But you had helped him enough today, and he did not wish for you to worry any further.

He also knew this was impossible. So, he took a deep breath. “I…am certain I can walk. However, I would not be opposed to further help,” he confessed, flexing his fingers slightly to indicate you to take his hand. “Mm…” you hummed in response and allowed him to help you stand up.

Once you were on your feet, you placed your hand on his back. His steps were slow, but you were happy that he wasn’t pushing himself that hard. Especially after what had just happened. As you walked inside, the sweet scent of rice and charred fish skin filled your nostrils and made your stomach growl.

“Wow smells good. Let’s go,” you said, laughing as you began to walk down the hallway toward the dining room. However, before you reached it, Tenya asked, “Will you perhaps perform the same set of actions when I remove the exhaust pipes from my opposite leg?” You stopped and looked at him with your head tilted to one side.

“What?” You replied. Unlike before, he didn’t seem annoyed by your response or the fact that he had to repeat himself. Rather he smiled. “When I remove the exhaust pipes from my opposite leg, will you embrace me as you did and whisper positive affirmations into my ear?”

It was such a strange request, but could you honestly deny him? You chuckled. “If that’s what you need,” you replied. “But why don’t you give your body a day to rest before putting yourself through that again?” You suggested, and to your surprise, Tenya nodded. “Yes, perhaps that is best,” he replied, and your heart fluttered.

It was nice to know that he appreciated your insight and would do what was best for himself now. “Great, now let’s go eat. I’m sure you’re hungry after that fiasco.” Before he could say anything, you resumed guiding him to the dining room and helped him sit on the provided floor cushion.

“There, now make sure to eat all your food,” you said, sounding more like a mother than anything. Mrs. Iida, who happened to walk into the room, chuckled. “Removing his exhaust pipes was successful?” she asked, and you offered her a smile.

“Yes,” you replied cheerfully, “I’m glad I was able to help him, but he agreed to rest before removing them from his other leg,” you turned to Tenya. “Right?” he nodded and looked at his mother. “Yes, Y/n was quite helpful, and I am grateful they are willing to help me again,” he said, smiling at you.

“How wonderful,” Mrs. Iida said before walking over to the counter and preparing some tea. “I’m so glad Tenya has someone that will help him with this,” even though Tensei, Tenya’s older brother, could have helped. It seemed like you were better equipped for the job.

Once the tea was done brewing, she placed two mugs on a tray and carried it over to the table where you and Tenya sat. “Here you are,” she said, placing them in front of you. “Your father is eating his lunch in his office,” she informed him before walking away.

“Thank you, Mrs. Iida,” you bowed your head before turning to Tenya. “Wow, your father is a busy man, huh?” You asked, taking a bite of rice, and chewing it greedily. “I aspire to gather such dedication for my future endeavors as a hero,” he confessed.

“I’m sure you will, especially knowing the lengths you’re willing to go now,” you said before grasping your mug of tea. It felt warm in your palm and the earthy, bitter aroma made you smile. Then you turned to him, holding said mug out to him.

“To your future heroics,” you said, proposing a toast. Tenya raised his eyebrow, finding your antics rather odd. But nonetheless, gently grasped his cup of tea and carefully clinked it against yours. “I do believe our future efforts are quite commendable,” he replied.

“Uh huh,” you took a sip of the tea before taking another bite of your food while heplaced his tea back on the table and grabbed his chopsticks. His eyes gazed over the food in front of him, and he tried his best to ignore the faint throbbing of his leg.

He thickly swallowed before looking at you. “Y/n,” he said, and despite having pieces of rice sticking to your lips, you gave him your attention. “Yeah?” you replied, lapping your tongue across your lips to collect said pieces of rice.

“May I ask you something?” You raised your eyebrow, you always hated when people asked that. Was there any harm in asking anything in general? Still, you knew better than to respond sarcastically, and so you nodded.

“Yeah, of course,” you said, taking another sip of your tea. “Forgive me if this is out of your expectations, but…” he paused, attempting to gather the right words. “I would be grateful if my future heroics featured you,” he said, making you raise your eyebrow. He sensed your confusion and cleared his throat.

“Please allow me to explain more clearly,” he stated. “I believe what I am attempting to communicate is simply that I wish for you to be a part of my life,” he said, “your kind and helpful nature in addition to medical knowledge would be most useful in the future.” Well…guess that was a good thing.

“You can just say you want my support always Iida,” you replied nonchalantly and snickered when he appeared flustered, his cheeks filling with a soft red color before he looked away from you. “I…I suppose that is…a more accurate description of what I desire,” he admitted.

“Heh,” you smiled and reached over, gently laying your hand over his. “Of course I will,” you responded, and once again chuckled when seeing his eyes widen, and his lips part in shock. Was he not expecting you to say that? “I…I…” he quickly shifted his gaze from you to his plate of food and cleared his throat.

“I see…” he replied, almost feeling shameful that he was acting in such a way. Still, he couldn’t help but feel happy knowing that you would be there when he needed you. He lowered his head, “…thank you,” he said in a soft voice, and you smiled. “You’re welcome.”

[goldensunset]

💎 lokiss

🔁 traumaadcaelum Follow

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💎 lokiss

i think a snickers would’ve fixed baldr tbh

🙅 traumaadcaelum Follow

hi! can you NOT make jokes about the worst massacre that’s happened here in centuries?? my girlfriend was murdered that day but i guess people like you just love taking advantage of tragedies for funny internet clout. i hope you lose your heart in another world.

💎 lokiss

she baldr on my dr until i bald

#get off my post i literally lost someone too

479 notes

💐 my-other-car-is-a-keyblade-glider

my missing brother, brani, is finally back!!!! i’ve been so so worried for forever. thank you everyone who prayed with me 🙏

#he is acting a little weird though if i’m being honest #freya speaks

5 notes

🌸 dandelioneater

🔁 the-fourteenth-original-darkness

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🍎 valkyrie-of-dreams Follow

sometimes i feel like my taste in men is bad and then i remember there are multiple secret societies entirely dedicated to thirsting after master brain

🔑 its-kee-not-kai

you ever see a post that just looks like someone swinging a keyblade at a flappy bugs nest

#kingdom hearts grant me the serenity to not look at the notes #courage to not look at the notes #and wisdom to not look at the notes

56907 notes

🌕 tardyfleetfoot

Asking for a friend what do you do when a cable car stops in midair and starts shaking and swaying on the wire while you’re in there up there way high above the ground? Time sensitive question asking for a friend.

3 notes

🌚 the-fourteenth-original-darkness

🔁 my-other-car-is-a-keyblade-glider

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🧜🏻‍♀️ ieatchesspieces Follow

let’s explore the nearby abandoned towns together!

108500 notes

🔑its-kee-not-kai

🔁 master-odin-retire-challenge

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💍 ladyofsilver-fountains Follow

it’s really awful how people are acting like it’s illegal to have a sense of humor anymore. even in the wake of tragedy, humans have always been humans. plus it’s been almost a year now. life goes on, you know?

👢master-odin-retire-challenge

the context for this post is op lost their job and reputation because they laughed at the funeral of a little girl named vör when the person giving the eulogy couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pronounce her name correctly. please for the love of light stop blindly reblogging things like this.

#oh ewww i hate people

239 notes

🌘 xehanerd

to the anon who just sent that long-winded ask: my blog is my space. if you don’t like what i post then move on.

#xe.post #delete later

0 notes

🌘 xehanerd

🔁 dajokerofscala Follow

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🌗 balancewillprevail Follow

It drives me insane whenever people frame it like Baldr 'succumbing to darkness' and going crazy was inevitable. Sure, darkness played a part in that tragedy, but it completely overlooks the reality of how Master Odin failed to take care of that child at every step of the way. The boy was lost in grief, and the adult who was supposed to take care of him shoved him in an asylum-like room alone? Are we really going to leave that part out in favor of pushing the narrative that people prone to darkness are simply evil at heart? He could have lived a happy life being himself if he had been supported and nurtured. It didn’t have to be this way.

🌕 tardyfleetfoot

Right? We could have saved him from his darkness! He was our friend….

🌗 balancewillprevail Follow

That’s… not at all what I was saying, but I suppose a stupid comment like this is to be expected from somebody with ‘darkness dni’ in their bio. Thanks for trying.

🐓 everyoneshutupplease Follow

‘darkness played a part in that tragedy’ not you sugarcoating what happened for the sake of pushing YOUR narrative that the thing that’s been killing people since the dawn of time can possibly be anything but toxic. how many people have to die before people like you get in touch with reality???

🌗 balancewillprevail Follow

Sounds about right from someone who went through the Scala Ad Caelum public school system. Have you ever tried reading a book other than what was assigned for class? Please check your natural-light privilege and ignorance. Thanks.

🪐 fenrir-fanatic

look out lads we got another conspiracy theorist ‘homeschool your kids’ dork lmao

🌗 balancewillprevail Follow

And do you read anything other than sigurd x reader fanfiction, based on the first seven posts on your blog?

📈 whats-your-favorite-staircase-to-heaven Follow

the notes on this post were so toxic staff just axed ‘em

#sent to me #thank you joker

0 notes

[legglesspotato]

Lucifer agere!

I apologize everyone, I lost all motivation to write randomly. I figured out that the only way I can write is if it’s the dead of night because I wrote this WHOLE THING literally right before I went to bed ;-;, I did some touch-ups in the morning though…

I’ve been anxious to post something like this because agere is really personal to me and whatnot…

This is 100% SFW DO. NOT. SEXUALIZE THIS!

Word count: 601 (not sure if that’s good or not?)

Comfort (from Mammon)

Proofread but know I’m not the most grammatically sound person

If you like this, I’ll make more agere of the brothers and possibly even a part 2 of this! I’m proud of myself and really like this! I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as me!

-Lucifer Is doing paperwork like always, but becomes super stressed due to having an irritating argument with Mammon earlier in the day. Mammon, for some reason, had the ‘brilliant’ idea of spending all the money he had earned on the casino. Lucifer never understood his younger brothers thought process and never thought he would.

-Suddenly, he feels a little strange and looks down at his work, realizing the words and numbers becoming jumbled. The stacks seem to grow as his heart starts to pound when he does something he rarely did before… Lucifer feel streaks of tears pouring down his face and breaks down into tears. His cries turn into screams as the world suddenly warps into something more terrifying than before… Lucifer has never felt like this in his thousands of years of living. His brain feels weird as his normally advanced mind can no longer form a coherent thought, feeling things his regressed brain cannot form words for.

-Abruptly the door to Lucifer’s secret study opens to reveal Mammon with a raised eyebrow, staring at Lucifer. When Lucifer sees Mammon he starts to cry louder, he has no idea why but he wants- no- needs Mammons attention.

-“Lucifer are ya’ ok?!” Mammon inquires, rubbing his eyes, Mammon was in the kitchen looking for a midnight snack

-Lucifer only responds by crying louder and making grabby hands at Mammon

-Mammon fully steps into Lucifer’s office and walks around his desk, staring down at him

-Lucifer immediately embraces Mammon and buries his head into his mid-abdomen “M-Mammon..” his voice muffled by Mammons pajama shirt

-Mammon doesn’t move, it is extremely rare for Lucifer to ask his brothers with help when he’s stressed, much less let them see him break down. Mammon rubs soothing circles into Lucifer’s back and tries to sooth him, “Shhh… it’s ok big bro… The Great Mammons’ got ya’ now..”

-After a few minutes of the silent hugging Lucifer pulls away, rubs his eyes, and yawns “mmm… Mammon, I’m sleepy!”

-At that moment Mammon wanted to respond with “Tch.. ‘course ya’ are.. you’ve been pullin’ all-nighters the whole week!” But… Mammon could clearly see that Lucifer was in no state to be scolded so… instead he gives a light giggle and responds, “Alright… let me help lead ya’ to bed..”

-Mammon helps Lucifer up, out of his office chair and holds his hand as he leads the way. Lucifer’s regressed state caused Lucifer to walk differently than normal. Where he would normally stride with pride, he was now waddling clumsily almost falling down a few times.

-Mammon wasn’t sure what happened or what was going on with Lucifer, but he knew he was going to support him no matter what even in this extremely vulnerable state.

-Mammon was somewhat nervous about having Lucifer climb up the stairs and have him make it to the second floor, he wasn’t sure if Lucifer would be able to handle them in this state.

-Mammon continued to hold Lucifer’s hand, encouraging him with each step, “yer doin’ great Lucifer, great job!” Mammons encouragement definitely seem to work as Lucifer seemed to be more and more confident with each step.

-The both of them finally make it to Lucifer’s room. Mammon continues to walk Lucifer to his bed and tucks him in. Mammon kisses Lucifer on his forehead after pulling the blankets to his neck. Mammon whispers in his ear, “G’night Lucifer… I love you big bro..”

-Lucifer responds with a tired, “I love you too mams”

-Mammon quietly shut Lucifer’s door with a small smile and walks back to his room.

…

[hockeyboysimagines]

1 under drabbles with Brock Boeser pretty plss

Thanks for this anon! I love writing for him🤍

You weren’t a fool to think you met Brock on accident. I mean, true it probably had been an accident that he almost knocked you on your ass when you ran into him, but the rest had to be fate.

He was a great guy, sweet and funny and someone you’d come to love having around. While you harbored a GIANT crush on him, it was very clear that he did not feel the same.

You knew he liked you, as a friend. He always wanted to hang out, but he didn’t look at you with stars in his eyes, or like you hung the moon or anything like that.

While it sucked, it made you feel good to know at least that he loved you as a friend. That kind of love was better than no love at all.

Your friends however didn’t see it that way. They argued, insisted that he had feelings for you beyond friendship. They tried to get you to make a move. But you refused. There was no way you were going to humiliate yourself in front of him and have him never speak to you again.

So you buried it and went along like everything was fine.

Which is exactly why you were getting ready for a blind date.

“If you’re not interested in anyone right now then what’s the problem with a blind date.”

Not wanting to out yourself and your feelings for Brock, you agreed, but you weren’t gonna be happy about it.

You moaned and whined and complained the entire time you got ready. You were meeting the guy, whatever his name was, at a restaurant downtown. It was a nice place, and you gave your name to the hostess. As she walked down the aisle and turned the corner you stopped dead, mid step.

Sitting in a booth was Brock, looking as surprised to see you as you were to see him.

And then he smiled.

“Should have seen this coming.” He said as you sat down.

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is everyone’s always on me about dating and all that.”

“Oh.” You had secretly hoped that maybe he had seen it coming because he was realizing he was completely in love with you, but no such luck. Dinner passed by and after it was over, he tugged on your sleeve.

“Let’s take a walk, and then I’ll take you home.”

The walk was quiet for a while, until he spoke.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, why?”

“Your just really quiet is all. Sorry our friends did this, I might have ruined your chance to meet Mr. Right.”

You laughed hollowly “I doubt that. The only person I think might be right doesn’t see me that way.”

“What?” He frowned and gave you a shoulder bump “I think a lot of people see you that way. Your beautiful Y/N.”

“Yeah sure.”

He was frowning at you “ No seriously you are.”

“It’s okay Brock. This was a set up. You don’t have to act anymore.”

“What? Wait hang on.” He stopped walking and grabbed your arm gently “What makes you think I’m acting?”

“You obviously have no interest in me, like that and it’s okay. But I- I like you, and yeah tonight was a set up and I don’t wanna get my hopes-“

“You like…me?” He asked pointing at himself, you had expected him to be weirded out, or awkward but he was smiling.

“I do, I have for a long time.”

“It’s funny you say that.” He reached forward and grasped your hand, tugging you closer “I like you too, and I’ve been trying to bury it because I always just thought you were out of my league.”

“Me? How many pucks have you taken to the head?”

He laughed and gave your hand a squeeze “Too many, but I’m serious.”

The revelation has sent butterflies to your stomach and you looked down when he realized he was still holding your hand.

“So what do we do now?” You asked, eyes moving up to meet his.

“Let’s kiss and see where it takes us.”

He leaned down and you stood on tiptoe and very gently pressed his lips to yours. It sent a warmth from your head to your toes, as one big hand came to rest on your face. You stood there for a while, kissing on the sidewalk, making up for lost time. He was smiling when you finally broke apart.

“Best first date ever.”

[teaberrii]

Relief

You get much more than you bargained for when you visit the newest doctor in town.

Baizhu/You

Warnings: Smut

Notes: Cross-posted on Ao3

This idea came to me so suddenly and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. So... HERE IT IS.

You are never a fan of visiting the doctor.

But after telling your friend about how bad your insomnia is getting, she “strongly recommends” you see the newest and, apparently, hottest doctor in town. You’ve heard about him. Tall. Mysterious. Handsome. Skilled. You raise an eyebrow at how she described him. He sounds like a male lead who walked out of a romance or erotic novel... and you cannot deny your curiosity. So, even though you always dread visiting the doctor’s office because of past experiences, you ultimately decide to try and see if this doctor is really as good and hot as everyone says.

As soon as you walk inside the clinic for your appointment, something about it already makes you feel at ease. Perhaps it’s the cool, calm colours of the wall. Or the soft hum of the music. Whatever it is, you’re not regretting it… so far.

“Hello.” A woman around your height walks up to you. “Do you have an appointment?”

“Yes.” Then, you give her your name.

She smiles. “Right this way.”

You follow the woman to a room at the back. She opens the door, and you see a man sitting at a desk. When he spins around, you meet a pair of snake-like eyes. He has a relaxed demeanour, something not too different from what you're expecting. Yet, despite his kind smile that unexpectedly makes your heart race, something about him feels off, and you don’t know why.

“Hello,” he says. Great. Even his voice is dripping like honey. He gestures for you to sit on the patient's bed. “Take a seat.”

As you do, the woman closes the door, and your hands start fiddling with each other. “Are you nervous?” he asks, eyes on your hands.

“Oh, um”—you stop fidgeting—“it’s a habit,” you say quietly.

“Don’t be nervous,” he chuckles. Then, he looks you in the eyes. “I won’t bite.”

His eyes are so entrancing that you forget to speak.

“So, what seems to be the problem today?”

His voice snaps you back, and you say, “I’m having trouble sleeping at night.”

“Is it stress, perhaps?”

“Well…” Your eyes land on a corner of the room.

“There are many reasons for insomnia, my dear.”

That’s a nickname you never imagined he would say.

“Stress… a poor environment… depression… have you talked to anyone else before me?”

You slowly look back and see him staring at you with that gentle smile. “No,” you say quietly. “But I’ve been looking things up online and trying different remedies, but nothing seems to work.”

“I see… What have you tried?”

So, you tell him about making tea, switching sleeping environments, changing your sleep schedule, and drinking less. But nothing has worked.

“Would you mind telling me when and how long your insomnia has been happening?”

You aren't surprised he asked this, but you wish he didn't. Well, at least you came prepared to answer the question.

"Um, well… I've been stressed lately. Both in my personal and professional life. And, I think it started when"—your face turns slightly red—"when I can't find pleasure in sex anymore." You're relieved when his expression doesn't change. Rather, he looks even more focused than before. "That has always relieved my stress and helped me sleep. But now it's just… frustrating."

“Did you have a partner?”

“My ex-boyfriend,” you say quietly.

“...I’d like to try something if you don’t mind.” You look at him curiously. “It’s a type of sensual massage.”

Did he just say… sensual massage? This is not what you signed up for. Rather, you’re expecting a doctor’s note for some medicine you probably never heard of.

“You… aren’t going to give me some weird medicine?”

He chuckles softly. “I could if that’s what you want. But my medicine tends to be quite bitter. Bitter than most. And”—he steps toward you and slightly leans forward—“I’d rather try something sweet on you.”

His low voice sends a delicious shiver down your spine. Good Lord. It’s only been fifteen minutes, and you’ve told this man more than you told your friend in weeks. You swallow thickly, your curiosity once again getting the best of you.

Then, before you can stop yourself, you say, “...Okay.”

"Of course, you're free to stop me whenever you feel uncomfortable," he reassures.

He grabs another pillow and gestures for you to lie on the bed. Once your head hits the pillow, you have one underneath your back. He puts one hand beside your head, and with that gentle, charming smile, he says, “Bend your knees, my dear.” You do so. Then, in a low whisper, “Now… open your legs for me.”

You can hear your heart hammering in your chest. Is it fear? Excitement? You can’t tell anymore. Your emotions are spinning round and round as he dims the lights. You hear his quiet footsteps approach you and feel the gentle touch of his hand brush your hair out of your face.

He moves behind you, and you close your eyes and hear him softly say, “Breathe in…” You do. “And out…” You do. "Now... close your eyes"—he once again watches you do as you're told—"and just feel."

His hands start warming up your shoulders and up to your neck. Your body is already relaxing despite the absurdity of the situation. It doesn't take long for him to move down, and you hear his footsteps beside you. You open your eyes and see he's looking at you, but his eyes are surprisingly… dark compared to the gold rim of his glasses. When his hand finds a clothed breast, you arch into his touch, getting lost in the way his fingers dance, knead, and pressure your bosom. The soft, breathy moan you let escape from those soft lips is everything he needs to hear.

You feel his other hand slide underneath your shirt. Slowly, he moves his hand up, the cool touch of his fingers sending a tingling shockwave throughout your hot body. He brings your shirt along until your bra is fully exposed in front of him. Your face grows warm, but the dark look in his eyes doesn’t change.

Instead, he leans over and asks, "May I, my dear?" As soon as you nod, he unclasps your bra from the front and puts it aside. Then, in a low voice, “You look absolutely beautiful.”

Your blush worsens when he cups your breasts in his hands and slowly moves his thumbs in opposite directions… until one of his hands gently squeezes a nipple while the other continues its gentle caress.

“Ah…” you sigh.

As he uses the pad of his thumb to circle a hardened nipple, he leans forward.

“How do you usually like it, my dear?” he asks lowly. “Soft? Or…” One hand suddenly gets needy… rough… as he squeezes…

“O-oh!”

…and fondles…

“Nngh…A-ah…!”

…like no one has before.

You feel something wet and see his tongue has replaced one of his hands. He looks up at you, his gaze almost daring you to tell him to stop. But that lustful look in your eyes is everything he needs to know. Your body arches as his tongue work wonders on your bosom.

Then, your eyes widen when you feel his hand massaging your inner thigh. A squeeze... and another... until he uses the heel of his hand to gently apply light, smooth strokes toward your pelvis. He stands upright and smiles at you as if admiring your flushed face.

As soon as you feel the pad of his thumb encircling your clothed sex, you gasp. He leans closer and closer until his face is inches from yours.

“I want you to do me a favour, my dear,” he says quietly. You allow him to take one of your hands and put it over a breast. “Touch yourself as I kiss you.”

It's then your lips are no longer yours. One kiss after another leaves you craving more… and more. You're glad you're lying down as you're sure your knees would give from the greedy, hungry kisses that show you're a woman to be desired, something your ex-boyfriend has never shown you before. As you fondle yourself while feeling the warm caress of his tongue, your other hand weaves its way into his hair, holding him in place. He gradually applies pressure on your sex, and you instinctively roll your hips into his touch.

More. You need more.

He stops kissing you as if reading your mind, and his lips curve into a slight smirk. You watch him move to stand in front of your open legs. He pulls off your bottoms, including your underwear. You hold your breath as he slowly massages your stomach and moves down until he's about to reach your sex.

You watch him oil his hands. Then, he starts with the outer lips, squeezing them gently with his thumb and index finger. You sigh in satisfaction when he moves to the inner lips and rubs them with his fingers.

As soon as he looks at you, you know he's taking it a step further.

“How do you want to be touched, my dear?” he asks. “Directly…?”

"Mmpth…" you sigh as he gently holds your clit. Then, he gives it a gentle tug, and you gasp.

“Or… indirectly?”

When you feel the tip of his finger circling your clit, your breathing turns heavy.

Clockwise.

“Ah…”

Counterclockwise.

You exhale deeply.

He goes harder.

“O-oh… yes…”

Slower.

“M-more,” you whimper.

He chuckles. “My… my dear. You’re so wet.” His dark gaze flashes toward you. “That’s a good sign.”

Slowly, he slides his middle finger inside and lightly pressures your walls at different points. As it gradually increases, you bite your bottom lip.

He smiles. “You’re too quiet. Should we fix that?”

He gently slides in his index finger and moves them in a come-hither motion at the top of your walls. Then, he applies more and more pressure until he moves his hand and arm up and down.

You've never been stimulated like this before. This feeling is as if your entire body is on fire. Then, feeling his lips on your inner thigh, you gasp and arch your body off the bed once more.

"Relax," he says softly, using his other hand to guide your body back down. "Just listen to my voice…." He flashes you a heated look as he continues working his fingers on your G-spot. "Do you know how hot you look right now, my dear? Face red… mouth open… eyes in a trance…" He slowly kisses further up your thigh. "It makes me want you… so. Fucking. Bad."

He suddenly applies so much pressure that you come on the spot. A long, loud moan leaves your lips as your sex releases the pent-up pleasure that almost feels foreign. Your body is still coming down from the high when he leans over and puts his hand over your heart.

“How do you feel now, my dear?”

You can’t find the words. You can only look at him as realization dawns upon you what had just happened. “I…”

He puts his finger on your lips. "Would you like me to show you how you made me feel?"

You allow his mouth to take you. Slow. Sensual. All those emotions you felt a moment ago come flooding back from this one kiss that feels so right that it proves every other kiss you had is wrong.

Then, he breaks away too fast, too soon. His gentle smile returns. “I hope you sleep better now, love.”

As he fully leans upright, you’re still lost in your emotions on how one visit to the doctor’s office has made you feel so wrong, so right all at once.

Tag list: @lxry-chxn @lordbugs @suoshiii @seirenspinel

[slut-taylorsversionnn]

hey! Thank you so much for the last fic! I loved it so much!!! I’m sorry to ask for another one so soon, but today is my birthday, and I was wondering if I could get one of Tom celebrating readers birthday? If not that’s totally cool. Thank you so much!!!

happy birthday! i have been so busy so i haven’t written anything in a little while but here you go, hope you enjoy!

summary: y/n’s birthday and tom planned a surprise…

i woke up feeling so excited, it was my birthday and tom had been acting a little suspicious lately. i was hoping he planned an elaborate surprise but whatever the day held i knew it would be great because i would be spending it with my boyfriend tom freaking blyth!

i got out of bed once i noticed tom must’ve already woken up. i walked into the kitchen and tom was on the phone with someone.

“hold on i gotta go.” tom said quickly.

weird i thought. “who was that?”

“oh it was just a work call but i said i had to go because it’s my favorite person’s birthday!” he said as he walked towards me. he snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me into a kiss.

“so i was thinking we could go to that cafe you love for breakfast and then do some shopping and you could pick something out to wear because i have a little something planned for tonight.” tom explained.

“first of all, love the cafe idea and would love to go shopping with you. but how am i supposed to pick something out to wear for your little surprise if i have no idea what’s going on??” i replied.

“well darling that’s why i’m going along to make sure you pick the perfect thing. trust me i’ve got you.” he smiled and winked.

“ok then, i’m gonna start getting ready.”

“ohh i just thought of something…” tom said.

“what..?” i was so confused.

“we should do an instagram live and get ready together! it’ll be so fun for your birthday.” tom suggested.

“ooh wait yeah that sounds fun. and the fans will eat that up.” i laughed.

“so it’s y/n’s birthday and we’re getting ready to get brunch and shop for a dress for her to wear to my special surprise tonight.” tom was telling everyone on live.

“woah there’s already 80k watching you just started that live.” i said walking into frame. i had just gotten dressed and put on a little lilac sun dress that i absolutely adored and was saving for today.

“you look so stunning right now love.” tom commented and seemingly forgot we were even on live as he pulled me in by the waist and kissed me. he pulled away when he remembered we had an audience. i blushed and then looked at all the comments rolling in.

user: tom and y/n are so couple goals

user: tom forgot about the whole rest of world when y/n walked in

rachelzegler: happy birthday to my fav!!!!

hunterschafer: happy birthday bestie!!!!

“aww thanks rachel and hunter” i loved my friends so much.

i finished getting ready and then me and tom started walking to my favorite little cafe. i ordered my usual coffee order and tom got his oat milk latte as always. then we walked to the first of many shops.

“so what am i even looking for?” i asked

tom started picking out fancy dresses that he wanted me to try on, “something like this.”

“so it’s a fancy surprise you have planned then mr blyth..” i said wiggling my eyebrows.

“i could tell you but then i’d have to kill you.” he smirked.

so once tom had picked about 200 dresses for me to try on we headed to the dressing room.

i came out wearing a pink dress with lots of ruffles, “i feel like im wearing what would happen if a cupcake and a ballerina had a baby.”

tom started cackling, “yeah that’s not the look i was going for.”

next dress was definitely giving tigris vibes but definitely not something i could pull off, “umm am i about to attend a panem fashion show?”

“i think effie would be proud,” tom replied still grinning.

30 dresses later i slipped on the most beautiful magenta silk dress that fell to the floor with a slit coming about thigh length. it was soo gorgeous. i stepped out of the fitting room and let me tell you tom’s jaw DROPPED.

“y/n…wow just wow.” he was stunned.

i felt the blush creeping onto my face. “all these years of dating you blyth and i can still make you speechless.”

“well when you look like that, it’s not hard to make me speechless. i can’t believe it you’re so beautiful. we definitely have a winner.” he gushed.

“i think we definitely have a winner too.”

so after shopping we stopped to grab some pizza for lunch and then we headed back home to get ready for tom’s big surprise. i hadn’t really heard from rachel or hunter today and they’re never quiet so i was definitely feeling suspicious. i did my makeup, curled my hair, put on my dress and gold sparkly heels. i was looking at myself in the mirror and saw tom coming up to give me a hug from behind. he was in a suit with a matching magenta tie.

“what’s going on in that head of yours love?” tom asked.

“just thinking that dang you are so hot,” i laughed and leaned to kiss him. “i love you so much tom.”

“i love you so much y/n. let’s go get you to your special night.”

tom insisted i rode to our destination with a blindfold on so it wouldn’t ruin the surprise. i felt the car start to park and tom came around to my side of the car and opened my door. he took my hand and led me towards wherever we were going. i felt us walk into a building and then tom led me into an elevator.

“are you sure you’re not kidnapping me right now?” i asked.

“no promises,” tom laughed and then i felt a little bit of a breeze stepping out of the elevator. tom untied my blindfold and-

“SURPRISE!” i opened my eyes and i was standing on a rooftop overlooking the rest of new york and standing in front of me was all of my friends. it was so beautiful.

“oh my gosh!” i said covering my mouth, “i can’t believe it this is so wonderful you all!”

rachel and hunter ran up to me, “y/n you look drop dead gorgeous right now.” hunter exclaimed.

“that dress was made for you!” rachel commented.

“aww guys i can’t believe you all pulled this off! i was getting a little suspicious but i didn’t dream of this,” i said looking around. the rooftop was decorated in tons of flowers and with the sun setting it was so perfect.

“i can’t believe tom was able to keep a secret from you, i thought for sure he would tell.” hunter said.

“wow i love the faith you all have in me. but yes it was hard to keep this a secret but im glad it paid off.” tom said giving me a side hug.

the night was filled with dancing and love and music. rachel even convinced everyone to do karaoke and tom sang one of my favorite one direction songs “steal my girl” for me and i dedicated “london boy” to him. we even sang “you and i” by one direction as a duet which is another one of my favorites. by far the best birthday ever!

author’s note: hope you all enjoyed, i really liked writing this one! i’m going to keep responding to requests so don’t worry, im just not the fastest writer. but also stay on the lookout for the tom blyth series im about to start.

[violetlunette]

A little SilYuu from my MadYuu series.

“I don’t want to be your friend.” The words were like an icy dagger. Pain flashed across Silver’s otherwise stoic face, his brow furrowing over iridescent eyes as he dropped his head.

“I… see…” Silver tried to push down the awful feeling that erupted in his chest. “I apologize--”

“I don’t want to be your friend, because I like you.”

Yuu stepped forward, his face patterned with dark bruises drawn in an unfamiliar seriousness. Silver's heart always clenched in worry when he saw Yuu.

At first, he worried that Yuu’s battered form had been the result of bullying and fights. However, aside from Lilia’s playful bouts, no one seemed to be interested in fighting with the boy. (Ruggie mentioned that all the saws he playfully swung around had something to do with that.) Eventually, Silver learned from Ace and Deuce that the results of his injuries came from his reckless disregard of safety when dealing with his rather creative—and extremely explosive—inventions.

Yet despite what must have been rather painful injuries, Yuu never paid any mind to them. In fact, he rarely seemed to notice them. And never once did he lose his wide, bright smile, filled with childish glee.

So when Silver saw the grin drop from the cracked, slightly swollen lips, the teen felt his body tense. He barely processed Yuu’s words as he spoke.

“I like you. A lot. Not as a friend but as—a mate? No, someone I would like to date—I like you romantically,” the other babbled. It was odd whenever Yuu stumbled to find words, as the other was always so sure of himself and confident. Now he fidgeted, fingers twitching at his side, till he ran them through his messy black waves. He rocked on his heels, as if he were unsure what he was supposed to do with himself.

“I like you,” he repeated, as if that was the only thing he was sure of. The gray skin that wasn't painted with wounds flushed bright pink, a strange color on the other. (Yuu's palette was usually monochrome.) “I like you. I know I shouldn’t. I mean, it’s like Mother always said, ‘Falling head over heels for someone is the best way to loose your head,’ or something like that. But I can’t help it.

“I’ve not only fallen over heels, but down the stars, out the window, in an open grave. Now all I can do is wait for my feelings to be laid to rest.” He hesitated, but reached out his gloved hand to take Silver’s. Silver was too shocked to react, but then felt his heart jump to his throat as the rubber rubbed against his skin.

“Sorry, I—this might be too forward, and this is probably the wrong way to do this,” the gray teen murmured. “But Rook’s way didn’t work, the ghosts’ way failed, and I don’t have the hips for Crowley’s body language. So, I have to be straight—even though if I like you, I’m gay—and hope for the best. I like you. I like you. I--” I love you.

Silver could feel his face change color as his head heated up and his mind went blank.

“Do...Do you understand?” Silver blinked a couple of times before the question registered.

“Oh. Yes. Yes, I—ahem! I—I understand,” Silver said, stammering in a way that was completely unlike him.

Yuu liked him. Not liked him, but like-liked him.

As he thought about this, Silver’s insides became light and fluttery in a way he couldn’t describe. After all, it was the first time he felt anything like this. He felt giggly, like bubbles were tickling him. And...

“And...is that okay?” Yuu asked slowly, bringing him out of his thoughts. “I mean, does it make you...feel weird? Uncomfortable?” Silver shook his head quickly, his movements surprisingly jittery.

“Ah, no. Not—not at all,” he assured the other. He lifted his hand to the back of his neck, which felt just as hot as the rest of him. “I’m just surprised.” And he was. Why would Yuu like him of all people?

Silver wasn’t exciting at all. In fact, he was the most boring person on campus. And on top of that, he troubled everyone around him with his awful snooze spells. Which, he was convinced, were in part because the teen was so dull, so he put himself to sleep. He wasn’t like Yuu, who was full of life and energy and was always up to something exciting.

Yuu chuckled, and Silver’s heart beat a touch louder.

“Well, I have been subtle about it,” he said, amused. He was smiling, but it was different than usual. This smile was small and shy, filled with emotions the other had never expressed before. Both their gazes fell to their joined hands. The sight caused Silver’s blood to race like horses on a track. They stared for a minute, unsure of what to say, when—to Silver’s disappointment—the other released him.

“I don’t expect an answer right away,” he said, forcing his smile to return. “I mean, this is all—weird, right? And really befuddling. I don’t get it myself. I don’t—I’m not trying to... I just wanted to be clear on things.” Yuu looked away as he rubbed his arm through the patched-up lab coat he liked to wear. “I like you. And if—if you, um, like—like-like me, then I would like to date. But there’s no rush! I can wait. I mean, I won’t wait forever, but for now, I’ll wait. Patience isn’t my virtue, but for you? I’ll practice.” Silver lips parted, but no words came, as he was unsure of how to respond.

“Um, thank you?” He finally stuttered, his voice reaching a higher pitch. He pressed a hand to his chin and coughed, embarrassed as he attempted to continue. “I—I don’t… I mean…” What was wrong with him? Silver may not have talked much, but he was never at a loss for words. “Forgive me. As I said, this is all so surprising…”

“It’s cool. Like I said, I’m not expecting an answer. I just wanted you to understand—to know how I feel. You—understand, right?” Yuu said, apparently forgetting he already said this.

“I—I do.” Or at least, Silver understood part of it.

Yuu liked him; he understood that, even though he didn’t understand why.

An awkward moment fell, both wanting to say something but neither knowing what that was. Silver felt very warm, his skin tingling as butterflies went mad inside his chest and stomach.

He wasn’t sure if he was grateful or not when Ace and Carter interrupted them. The two were screaming about how Floyd broke something in the lab, and now it was trying to eat him and Trey. Yuu quickly took hold of the excuse, filling Silver with disappointment.

“Don’t worry too much about it, Moonshine,” he said, using the affectionate nickname for the other. “There’s no timeline on this.” Yuu tried to walk away, but apparently his knees gave out from under him, and the other two students had to carry him.

Silver watched them till they were out of sight, a heavy weight suddenly in his chest. He closed his eyes and placed a fist over his heart, which was reacting like a frightened rabbit.

“Like…” Yuu liked Silver. As for Silver…

[hannahssimblr]

“Evan, can I sit?”

He glances up at me and shrugs, patting the ground next to him so I slump down heavily on it and take a healthy gulp from my bottle. 

“You good, man?”

“Yeah, amazing.”

“I, uh, I see you were chatting to Leah, there? You know each other?”

“Nah.”

“Really? Well... she’s a weirdo anyway, you’re better off getting away from her, like, I just sell her weed and stuff, I don’t really like when she hangs around too long.”

“Yeah, fair enough.” 

“Was she being weird with you?” 

“Nope.” 

We’re silent as we watch the flames. I begin to wonder what time it is, and whether I've stayed long enough now for it to be acceptable to go home. As I watch all of the other friends around the fire have fun together I’m struck by how much of an outsider I really am. Sure, Rob and Katie are nice, but will any of that niceness extend into normal life with the eyes of everyone else at school upon us? Surely they will go back to the steps at the back of the school while I go back to the rugby changing rooms, or the library, as it may be and things will resume as they are, as they've always been and always will be. Realistically, would they ever be seen with me? Would I ever be seen with them? There's this weird, empty feeling in me, a feeling that just compounds day after day, month after month, year after year, and it's like I don’t belong anywhere or to anyone. I'm just floating in the in-between, and who even am I? What does it mean to even-

“Hey,” Evan interrupts my spiralling inner dialogue, “I meant to say to you that it’s cool that you came along, you know, even when Jen and Michelle didn’t.”

This takes me by surprise, “You think?”

“Yeah, I mean, I suppose I kind of thought you were just hanging out with us sometimes because of them, and that you didn’t really want to be there, but,” a shrug, “I suppose that isn’t true.”

“No, I like hanging out with you.”

“And it’s not just because you’ve been ostracised by your other friends?”

I hesitate for a beat, “No.”

Evan laughs, “Wow, I’m so convinced!”

“No, come on,” I rock to the side and nudge his shoulder with mine, “Like, yeah, sometimes it’s nice to have Jen here, but I’m fine, I can handle myself around the emos… and as for Michelle, well, she hates me, so it’s actually kinda comfier when she’s not here, and- oh,” I realise immediately what I’ve said, “um, well I don’t really mean that, it-”

“No, it’s okay,” Evan says, “I know that you two aren’t exactly best friends or anything.”

“Ah, so she’s talked to you about me.” 

“Nah, you’ve honestly never come up in conversation.”

“Somehow that’s worse.”

He snickers. 

“How are, um,” I pick at the beer label with my thumb, “How are things going with you guys? Like, the last time we talked you were feeling kinda…”

A sigh, “Oh, yeah, it’s the same. Like, she’s so nice but sometimes I don’t feel like I get enough from her.”

“Uh huh.”

“I kind of get a bit annoyed about it sometimes, like, how are we supposed to be together properly if I hardly see her? Like, man, she’s allowed to come to my house like, once a week. In the afternoon. And that’s the only time we can… uh, hook up or whatever. It’s so annoying.”

“Just from an outsider's perspective, you know, you seem pretty happy.”

“Yeah. She’s definitely into me,” He musses up and fixes his fringe, “I dunno. It’s fine, just sometimes I wonder about shit. You know what I mean, right?”

“I’m probably not the best person to ask, seeing none of my relationships have worked out so far, and I’m also fairly drunk, so…”

“But you know what it’s like to be with someone who wouldn’t give you the things you needed, right?”

“Yeah, ‘course.”

“So you do get it.”

“Mm, I suppose,” as our conversation tapers off I let my mind drift into thoughts about love and loneliness and the hollow disappointment of all of my relationships. These are bitter, useless, self destructive thoughts as usual, made even worse by the fact that I’m not exactly capable of rational thought while inebriated. Is drinking bad for me? Am I a miserable drunk? I have to physically shake myself out of my own head before I start talking myself into a hole again.

I turn to Evan to start saying something else about, I don’t know, whether he’s ever tried pranking someone by turning their school bag inside out and putting the books back into it or something stupid like that, but I see he’s distracted by something else across the bonfire. 

It’s that girl with the pink hair. She’s leaning over a bag to rummage for more beer, and her short skirt rides up when she’s bent over like that so that her underwear is visible through the sheer material of her tights. I frown at the dirty little smirk on his face, the way hungry eyes follow her movements, and the look between them as she glances over her shoulder and sees him watching her. I nudge my knee against his to interrupt whatever is going on.

“Wow, nice legs, huh?” 

He looks at me, surprised, but lets out a rough laugh, “Yeah, for sure.”

“Is she into you or am I just seeing things?”

“Nah, I don’t know about that.”

“Oh, c’mon, no, I’m just messing with you, she just looked like… I dunno.”

“Like what?”

I shift awkwardly, “You know what, don’t mind me, I’ve had too much to drink, I thought I detected flirting, or whatever, I guess I was wrong.”

The girl kneels onto the ground and starts asking around for the bottle opener, and Evan doesn’t take his eyes away from her. “She’s pretty though, isn’t she?”

“Hm?”

“Carlie. That’s her name. She’s pretty, do you think?”

“She’s single?”

“Yep.”

“So are you trying to set me up with her or are you just pointing that out?”

“I’m not trying to set you up.” Evan seems agitated by this idea that I might try to date pretty Carlie, who, by the way, treats me like I am contagious. As though it’s any of his business what she does, as if he should even care. Something sour settles in my gut, but I can’t tell whether it’s that I'm weirded out by this conversation or if the alcohol is nauseating me. 

“Right, well, she’s not my type,” I watch his face carefully, “Is she yours?”

“She’s pretty hot.”

Maybe he's looking for my approval or my agreement, which I don’t give him on purpose. To see where it leads me I respond with a benign, “Oh, you think?”

“Uh huh,” They catch eyes again and she smiles coyly and quickly looks away to resume her conversation. That’s flirtation. She’s flirting with him, and him back, right in front of my face. 

“You know, a lot of people would consider your girlfriend to be pretty hot too.” It’s true, I’ve heard those rugby boys saying it before, the only time they ever had anything remotely complimentary to say about any of the emos was to point out the things they fancied about Michelle and what they might like to do to her if she A. wasn’t emo, or B. nobody knew, so that they wouldn’t have to suffer the social consequences. I feel disgusted again at this memory. I know where I was, sitting on the bench lacing up my boots and saying nothing while they spoke casual filth about a girl I know. 

It’s a similar feeling to the one I have now at this bonfire with Evan, and maybe this is how he is when he’s drunk, maybe he just gets a bit… leery, but when he stares across the fire at someone who isn’t his girlfriend I swear I am looking at Willy FitzHerbert. 

He waves my comment away, “Yeah but at least Carlie is interested in sex.”

“How do you know that?”

He leans closer, “Obviously because I’ve done it with her.”

“Yeah?” I say, “When?”

He smirks and says nothing.

I push him again. “A few years ago?”

He lowers his voice and looks at me with eyes that glitter with salacious excitement. I don’t think I’ve ever once seen another boy look so pleased with himself as he says: “Try a month ago.”

It takes all my self control not to react. I just pause for a second as a shock of revulsion rips through my body, I feel it from my feet to the top of my head, and then, when I decide to speak, my voice is strange to my own ears, “While you were with Michelle.”

A shrug, “It just happened on a night out when she wasn’t there. I dunno.”

“She doesn’t know?”

“Course not. She’d break up with me.”

“And... you don’t want that.”

“No, because we’re in love. This stuff with Carlie, it was just… you get what I mean. It’s not like that with her.”

I sigh, “Uh, yep.”

So it appears it is the same for Evan as it is for all the others. Michelle is the virgin, Carlie is the slut and he wants it all at the same time. A girl worthy of love, and a girl interested in sex, two things that cannot converge. There is no girl that can be both.

“It felt good to let loose with someone who knew what they were doing, and like, not have to think so hard about making the other person all safe and comfortable and, blah,” he rolls his eyes, “Carlie is cool.”

“Right, yeah, she seems it.”

“You get me, right? Guys like us, you know, we need to be able to just relax sometimes, not think so hard…”

“Yeah, for sure… Guys like us, huh?”

“Hell yeah!” He clinks his beer bottle against mine, “I knew you’d get it, honestly, I wasn’t sure if I should say something but I feel good now that you understand what I meant.”

I try to laugh but it sounds weird and strangled, so I bring the bottle to my lips in the hope that drinking will disguise my discomfort, or at the very least numb it a bit. I finish the last two thirds of it and toss it somewhere amongst the miscellaneous rubbish, remnants of a hundred other miserable bonfire nights on Dollymount strand.  

Then, after a minute or two Evan nudges me again. It’s hard to look at him but I force myself to because it is what I would do if this situation was normal, “You’re not going to say anything, right? Like, to Michelle or Jen? Like I know you probably won’t...” A laugh as he adjusts his fringe, “That'd be insane, I know, but I wanted to make sure.”

“Me? Nah,” I say, “Why would you even have to ask? Don’t worry about it,” I scratch the back of my head, “your, uh, your secret is safe with me.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

[beauty-and-passion]

TMA - Chapters 41-50: Everyone is Michael

Hello people, welcome back to the beginning of TMA season 2! Ten more chapters are waiting and I am ready to find out if this season is gonna start with a bang or not.

I have high expectations.

<< Main Masterlist < Previous post 

_______________________________

MAG 40.1 - Season 2 Trailer

Oh, a trailer! And it was… absolutely incomprehensible and cryptic af. All I got is that a trapdoor should’ve been locked, which translated from author-to-reader means: “The trapdoor is open and some weird supernatural shit will come out of it during the season”.

Well played, Mr. Sims. Now I really want to know more.

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MAG 41 - Too Deep

Ooooh, statement of Jonathan Sims? And it’s about the recently discovered tunnels! I love that we start season 2 directly from where we left in season 1: Jon is recovering, Jane Prentiss is recently dead (I suppose they burned her, considering the ashes) and there are a shit ton of tunnels to explore.

Also, Jon is now paranoid. Great, that’s exactly what he needed.

Jokes aside, this is an amazing choice from a writing perspective, because it’s perfectly justifiable. Jon got assaulted by Jane Prentiss and her worms on July 29th, now it’s September 2nd. It’s been a little more than one month, of course he’s still haunted by the idea that Jane (or other things) might be alive and spying on him.

Even if the feeling of being watched is not just paranoia. I bet everything that it’s Big Brother’s fault for that.

And just to confirm my words, it seems that the Archives have been built on part of this ex Millbank prison, which was built by following the idea of the Panopticon. You know, the prison centered around the idea of making the prisoners feel like they’re always watched, thanks to the central tower.

I love the idea of the Panopticon: it’s extremely cool and I’m very happy to see it here too… but it also proves I am right and Big Brother is some supernatural shit who watches everyone and has something like one million eyes or whatever.

The goddamn weird tunnels. And what about that incorporeal voice telling Jon to leave, right after inviting him to go down? I am extremely curious now, I want to know more! Who was it? Big Brother? Another supernatural shit?

Ah, so Jon will now add supplements to the statements, hide them from his staff just like he hid the existence of the second tape recorder and will put these parts away with precise instructions for his replacement, in case he dies. Great, so he’s this paranoid. Basically one step away from being pathological.

Fine, from one side, I can understand him because he faced some heavy shit not too long ago and he cannot trust anyone. So his sentence “Trust can get you killed” is understandable.

But I also watched Gravity Falls and I’ve learned that “trust no one” doesn’t help, especially if there is a demon watching/haunting you. So please, Jon: please. Be safe. Don’t pull a Dipper Pines on us. Don’t force me to start calling you Jon Dipper. Or Jipper.

And trust someone before some bad shit happens. You’re trying to find Gertrude Robinson’s killer and we all know it was Elias (don’t “first suspect” me and yourself, we both know it was him). So, since Elias already killed one person and he’s in cahoots with the Lukas family, you REALLY need as many allies as possible.

_______________________________

MAG 42 - Grifter’s Bone

Here we are, back with simple, meh statements. This time, it’s “weird supernatural band kills with their weird supernatural music”. It’s a shame we don’t see how they do it, I would’ve loved to see the whole process. But I also understand that leaving this to the reader’s imagination is a good choice to make something scary.

Also, Alfred Grifter looking up after the massacre and asking “Encore?” is probably the most badass move of the series until now. He might be some minor supernatural shit, but that was a real power move. I respect him a little bit after this.

Glad to notice Jon’s skepticism is back too, but after the end of season 1, now I know why he does it and I understand. Also, his skepticism doesn’t seem as “stubborn” as before and that’s another great writing choice because it shows how all these supernatural shits are affecting him.

Also, since Jon is in Paranoia Land now, I suppose that emphasizing skepticism helps him hide his true intentions, which are… sigh, controlling Martin. Seriously, can this poor guy take a vacation? First the worms, then Jane Prentiss, now Jipper. Martin can’t even be competent, that his boss will question it - all while insulting his poetic skills. The paranoia made Jon even more of an asshole than before.

What? Martin is worried about the others finding out he’s been lying? Lying about what? Jane Prentiss? His supposed incompetence? His poetic skills? His need to go on vacation? In any of these cases, don’t worry, Martin: just take your stuff and go as far away from this Institute as possible.

I still dream something like this for Martin.

_______________________________

MAG 43 - Section 31

I feel Basira will be a recurring character from now on. I mean, she is currently working on Gertrude’s case and she is a Section 31 - i.e. she dealt with supernatural shits before. But she’s not the only one: we also have Alice “Daisy” Tonner, who came in contact with “spider husks” and, for me, that means one thing only: “Spider Mom & gang”. So I bet these two women will probably be involved again with any other supernatural shit happening in this Institute.

It was also very cool to find out the name of the guy from MAG 12: Diego Molina. And I remember that, when he and Gerard were brought to the hospital, Gerard asked if Diego had “a small book bound in red leather and a brass pendant with an eye design”. The eye pendant is probably related to Big Brother, while the red book basically confirmed it was one of Leitner’s chaos books. I already suspected this considering Gerard was after that, but glad to see an implicit confirmation.

Speaking of the supplement, Jon gained access to the tapes in Gertrude’s room and I’m glad about that because we will surely find something cool and scary. But I’m also sure that’s the easiest way for Jon to get himself killed, so I’m a bit scared for his life.

Also, how weirdly cute is this part?

“I only ever spoke to Gertrude once or twice during her time as archivist. I-I was very new. I don’t remember what her voice sounded like.”

Jon sounds so young, here. Almost like a child. I mean, I imagined he was in his thirties or something, but I actually have no idea how old is he. Is he younger? How old is he?

Also, it’s just nice to see this little moment of him being so… soft and human, with his predecessor. He barely knew her, he barely spoke to her, he probably looked at her and saw just an older, stern figure. But now, he’s in the same position. They became a lot closer than they ever were. It’s fascinating - and there’s a lot of potential for angst too, so I’ll brace myself for it.

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MAG 44 - Tightrope

A statement recorded by Gertrude! it was such a pleasant surprise to finally hear her voice! And she sounds amazing <3

As soon as I heard it was a statement from a guy in Algasovo, I felt it was connected to something I already knew. I remembered there was a circus mentioned in season 1 and, after a little bit of research, I found it: MAG 24, Цирк другого: the Circus of the Other. Ringmaster Gregor Osinov and organist Nikolai Denikin - whose granddaughter recorded the abovementioned statement.

Sure, here it’s called Другой Цирк, which is correctly translated as “Another Circus”. So my question is: which is correct? Did the circus change its name? MAG 44 is from the 70s, while the photo mentioned in MAG 24 was from 1948. Maybe the circus was called Цирк другого, then it changed its name after Denikin left and became Другой Цирк. Anyway, it was very interesting to read and I was so sure it was the smae circus mentioned before (despite the different names). So when Jon mentioned Gregor Osinov, my smile grew bigger than ever :D

Speaking of Jon, he asks some very interesting questions: Gertrude knows a lot more than it seems. And she didn’t finish recording everything in the archive. Why? Was that her way to oppose Big Brother/the Lukas family/the “crimson curse”? Maybe Big Brother can “eat” these statements, so by stopping her recordings, Gertrude was voluntarily leaving it hungry, as a sort of “fuck you, I won’t get eaten by you” kind of thing.

Or maybe she just wanted to not do her job anymore, thus provoking the Lukas family to fire her for not doing anything. Or maybe she was just too busy trying to find a way to escape, to record statements like an insane you-know-who who keeps recording stuff because he wants to find out the truth even if the truth can get him killed.

Did someone find Jon’s tapes? Or is he in full Jipper mode and maybe the drawer wasn’t even ajar? In any case, now he’s hiding them too, which reminds me of Gertrude and her secret hidden library and I don’t like the parallel at all. I don’t want to see Jon dead on a chair, in a room, surrounded by his secret library.

_______________________________

MAG 45 - Blood Bag

Another meh statement, even if this time I’m quite perplexed by the weird turn of events.

I mean, once Dr. Thompson sold his syringe, there was a sudden spike in heat, the ‘haemoglobish’ became real blood and the mosquitoes decided to wait for their moment to kill the doctor. They’re a lot of weird consequences and they don’t seem too connected either - especially the heat. Why is there always some heat involved?

While speaking of the mosquitoes planning revenge… yes, this is the most plausible thing. These little bitches always plan revenge on everyone.

So, the doctor’s buyer is “Indonesian, I think, or Samoan”. It’s Salesa, isn’t it? Yep, Jon confirms it. Well, I suppose he will be another recurring character. And if Gerard can smell Leitner’s book, Salesa can smell any supernatural shit and make a profit from it. In this case, I suppose the syringe was a real lucky charm or whatever, considering how everything degenerated once the doctor got rid of it.

“Can’t stand mosquitoes. Horrible things.”

You and me, Jon. You and me. Glad to know that, even if he’s in full Jipper mode, he can still be very relatable.

I know Jon was super paranoid with Martin, but he might have a point about Tim. I mean, a guy with this resume decides to work in a place that isn’t so appreciated by normal people? And he doesn’t seem too interested in the supernatural either. Why is he here, to bribe people to get info and do whatever the fuck he wants? If that’s the reason… honestly, mood. I loved him before, I would just appreciate him even more for the power move.

Jonathan Sims, Master at Hiding Things, gets caught by Martin in 0.2 seconds because he’s so clever to record his paranoid thoughts in the middle of a working day, in a place where everyone can enter. A genius.

But now I’m curious to know where he will go to record these statements. I can almost see him, all crammed up into a closet, while Martin searches for him with a cup of tea in his hand.

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MAG 46 - Literary Heights

Oh gosh, I LOVE this chapter.

First of all, as soon as Michael Crew was mentioned, I immediately checked the previous chapters and here he was: MAG 17, the Boneturner’s Tale. Also, if my last theory is correct, Michael Crew and Supernatural Micheal are the same thing. And you know what? I think this statement confirmed it. But one thing at a time.

Second: my man Leitner! Ex Altiora my beloved! We finally know where it was and what it is! It’s a poem and I ADORE the plot. It’s such a perfect mix of weird, suspense and desperation… uuuurgh, I’m so mad I can’t read it, because this plot can be developed into a fantastic story.

And now, let’s put together all the pieces we have:

Michael Crew is interested in the Leitner.

Michael Crew has “a branching pattern of white scar tissue” on himself.

Jon reminds us that, in MAG 4, Mr. Swain said there was a “woodcut of the dark night sky, with the branching, arching design of the Lichtenberg figure” inside Ex Altiora.

This drawing isn’t mentioned by Mr. Knox here.

Lichtenberg figures have a branched shape, similar to the shape of lightning discharges, and appear on the surface/inside insulating materials during dielectric rupture. But they can also appear on lightning victims.

They are also “natural phenomena which exhibit fractal properties”.

In MAG 4, Mr. Swain says Michael Crew got struck by lightning when they were kids.

Michael Crew is surrounded by smells associated with lightning and electric discharges.

Michael Crew has been followed by a tall, thin figure, “its limbs angular and branching”.

Supernatural Michael has angular and branching limbs.

Supernatural Michael Is associated with fractals too.

The figure also “crackled and fizzed, lit by a strobing white light, as though the lightning was within the room itself”.

When Michael Crew reaches the bell tower, the prays something with the words “altiora,” “vertigo,” and “the vast”. then he says “I’m yours”, leaps through the open window and disappears.

Now, here’s my explanation:

Micheal Crew was followed by a supernatural shit. This supernatural shit was the same immense figure mentioned in the poem of Ex Altiora.

Micheal probably came into contact with it when he was a child and got struck by the lightning. Since then, he started to resonate with Vertigo/the Vast just like Jane Prentiss started to resonate with the Hive.

(Also, since Jane Prentiss’ supernatural shit was “the hive”, I think I’ll call this one “the vast” because it was a bit odd that he specifically said “the vast” with a definite article)

So, since Michael Crew came into contact with the Vast and started to resonate with it, he was accompanied by smells associated with lightning/electric discharges and he started to search for all kinds of magic books, trying to find a way to properly connect with it/being consumed by it, just like Jane Prentiss did with the Hive.

In Prentiss’ case, she connected through the wasps’ nest and got “consumed” by the Hive. Michael Crew tried to do the same by using different methods mentioned in the books, but failed. He had to find something stronger to connect to the Vast. And that something turned out to be a tale featuring the Vast itself, told by my man Leitner.

So Michael got it and waited for a storm. And as soon as the storm came, he ran towards it, calling for the Vast. And when the Vast appeared, it looked like that figure similar to an actual lightning.

Michael sang/prayed for it (please notice how Mr. Knows refers to his words like a chant first and a prayer later, just like Jane Prentiss talked about the song of the Hive. These little shits truly talk through songs) and closed his invocation, by saying “I’m yours”, which can be also read as “I give my body to you”.

And so, he jumped. And by doing that, he gave his body to the Vast and the Vast became him. And that turned him into Michael the Supernatural Shit, also known as Best Boyo of this series.

If all of this is true, then:

it’s very cool

his name isn’t Mr. Distortion, but Mr. Vast. Still cool, but Best Boyo is better :P

And if this is true, that also means my previous Leitner theory was completely wrong. His books don’t turn you into the protagonist: his books are about the real, actual supernatural shits living in this world and by getting the right one, it’s easier to connect to the supernatural shit in question. They’re like… facilitators, in a way.

That also puts into question Gerard’s work. What is he actually doing, by searching and destroying all Leitner’s books? Maybe he’s saving the world, because without books it’s more difficult to connect to these supernatural shits. But destroying the books doesn’t mean getting rid of the supernatural shits themselves and these books might actually be useful to recognize all supernatural shits and “catalog” them. I don’t know, I need more info about these two guys and what they’re actually doing.

And yes, there’s also Spider Mom taking possession of the hidden tunnels of the institute and she’s probably the one who opens the door and maybe she even walks around in her human form and that’s very cool too. Just… how fricking cool is this statement?! I think it’s among my top favorites, along with MAG 2, MAG 5, MAG 20, MAG 26 and MAG 39.

(Now that I think about it, I should probably do a top of my favorite statements once I finish the whole series. It would be fun.)

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MAG 47 - The New Door

Holy shit. Just holy shit.

I thought this was just a simple statement. A statement featuring a tall blonde guy. And yes, I was 200% sure it was Michael. But I just though he appeared and did some weird supernatural shit.

For a while, he did it: he made a door in that house, Mrs. Richardson got lost inside it for three days and escaped just because one of the mirrors was “empty” and didn’t reflect Michael. So she did what everyone who met a supernatural shit did: she went to the Institute. My theory about “hiding behind a bigger predator” seems even more convincing.

I loved the little moment when Mrs. Richardson asked Jon if he believed her and Jon admitted that yes, he believes her. It’s a tiny exchange of words, but it’s enough to show the massive change in Jon from season 1. Before, he would’ve been more stern and showed more skepticism (fake or real whatsoever). But now, after all he went through, he’s showing a softer, more empathetic side. Jon is truly evolving as a character.

And speaking of characters, time to talk about the real shit and time to overanalyze everything:

*

Michael’s voice is perfect

First of all, I ADORE Michael. Sorry Tim, you deserve the world, but Michael’s soft laughs and the way he gently mocks Jon because he’s this powerful supernatural shit while Jon is just a mere human it’s just too adorable. His voice is too adorable. And the distortion effect makes him very creepy - but still extremely adorable. I love him so much.

*

Domains?

This part about domains is very fascinating and, in a way, it confirms my theory about the supernatural shits having territories like mafia bosses.

But it seems like they don’t simply take a place and own it. It’s a bit like they are these places. As if these domains are an appendix of them. So I suppose Michael doesn’t simply “make doors pop up”: he is the doors and the corridors. such a cool concept, it makes these supernatural shits look even more eldritch and… well, supernatural. Love it.

But also: if my theory about Big Brother is correct, does that mean Big Brother isn’t just hidden in the Magnus Institute, but is the Institute? Mmmh, I need more details.

It’s also very interesting how Michael refers to Mrs. Richardson as “the Wanderer”. Since it doesn’t seem like Mrs. Richardson is a supernatural shit, I suppose that “the Wanderer” is a name to identify the people who enter the domain of a supernatural shit and become food. But since calling them “food” isn’t nice, Michael (and maybe other supernatural shits) opted for a more sophisticated name, like “the Wanderer”.

Also, Michael reconfirms he’s a poet and I love him so much.

*

The concept of identity (and maybe my theory already failed?)

That’s another interesting part. Michael considers itself a “what”, because “it requires a degree of identity I can’t ever retain”. And this connects to its domain: since it’s so huge and can “overlap” reality by creating new spaces inside it (inanimate spaces), it was probably easier for Michael to identify itself as a “what” rather than a “who”.

But this distorted appearance made me think: wait, probably my brand new theory about Michael as Mr. Vast is completely wrong.

If Michael’s power is being distorted and making weirdly long, distorted corridors (that confirms Michael was probably the voice who told Jon to leave, when he explored the tunnels in MAG 41), that doesn’t line up with the previous statement, where the Vast’s power was related to lightning and to being this colossal figure.

At the same time, Michael laughs with a weird, distorted effect as if it’s more people in one figure and this detail seems coherent with my theory.

So I think there are two possible solutions now:

my theory is correct and Michael can both be hugely vast and very distorted

my theory is wrong and Michael Crew just offered himself to another supernatural shit

Or maybe the correct option is:

3. Mr. Sims is the biggest troll of all mankind and he made a series in which every supernatural shit is named Michael and this explains why everyone is named Michael and why Michael is such a familiar name. If this is true I would respect him even more.

Jokes aside, I really need more information now. Especially I need Michael (this one at least) to talk about itself and its powers. And maybe all other Michaels should talk a bit about themselves too. At least enough to confirm if my theory is right or wrong.

*

A war?!

No, wait, you cannot drop this bomb, tease us like this, then leave. Stay here and explain!

Okay, so the Institute is important. It should stay where it is, because losing it would bring imbalance in the hidden war that’s going on - between supernatural shits, I suppose.

In MAG 41, Jon said the Archives stand on an ex-prison, built around the concept of the Panopticon. This could explain why this place is needed: a place from where you can spy on everything and everyone is a great leverage in a war.

My question is: what are the sides of this war? I suppose that one side is Big Brother and maybe the weird supernatural fog of the Lukas family, but the other? The supernatural meat? And the spider gang? On which side was Jane Prentiss with the Hive?

And what are they all fighting for? To take over the world? To eat as many humans as possible? Or maybe the “All Michael theory” is correct and since all these shits are named Michael, they decided that the last one standing will officially take the name Michael and all others will have to choose another name? All while Best Boyo Michael decided “fuck this shit, I’ll keep this name anyway because it’s just a name and my identity is more than this”?

You know what? I love the All Michael Theory. It’s stupid and yet it somehow works. If it’s true, it would immediately turn the whole series from dramatic to comic, but I love it.

_______________________________

MAG 48 - Lost in the Crowd

Oooh, a statement settled in Italy! Never visited Genoa, but now it deserves a visit. After all, I already think about this goddamn series every time I see a spider and have to kill it, so why not going to Genoa and fearing weird supernatural shits? Apparently, they love to go anywhere. Was this one taking a vacation?

Speaking of vacations: honestly, I never expected to see my man Gerard, rebel punk and goth, chilling in Italy with a bright shirt on. I hope you’re also wearing some nice shorts, Gerard. And no combat boots. Or sandals with socks. The Italian fashion police can be way worse than any supernatural shits.

So, my man went to Mrs. Nunis, told her she was “marked” and told her to think about her mother. To remember her. To, you know, feel less alone. I immediately thought about Naomi and how she too felt alone, when the mysterious fog tried to “eat” her in MAG 13.

But this time there wasn’t really a fog: the sunny day simply became overcast. So maybe the fog isn’t supernatural but… the clouds are? But then, what about the weird fog from MAG 33? Or maybe, the fog simply hides the real supernatural shit, which is this weird faceless crowd. And this time the fog was on vacation too.

Or maybe Italy’s weather is too warm for the thick UK fog, so the fog dispersed and left only the crowd. I’ll admit it, it would be hilariously funny if a supernatural shit is simply an atmospheric element end you can get rid of it by traveling far enough or by using, idk, an electric fan.

So one question remains: what was Gerard doing in Italy? Was he truly searching for a Leitner? Or maybe he was really taking a vacation? I like to think it’s the second one: unlike Jon “Trust No One” Sims and Martin “Self-preservation is overrated” Blackwood, my man Gerard knows when it’s time to get the fuck out and take a vacation. So he left all the supernatural shits and books to chill on a beach, take a cafè and eat some real food.

Great choice, Gerard, Genoa is a beautiful place.

Speaking of the supplement, Jon realized Michael was warning him about Sasha! But unfortunately, thanks to Not!Sasha’s evil powers, Jon cannot understand what the problem with her is. Damn you, evil imposter! Give Sasha back!

Jon “Jipper” Sims, Master of Secrecy, after being caught by Martin in 0.2 seconds, got caught both by Martin and Tim again and they both immediately realized Jon was spying on them. So they reported him to Elias.

See? See where “trust no one” brings you, Jon? Please, stop spying on them like a creep. why don’t you start spying Elias, instead? He’s the most suspicious guy that ever walked on this planet, why the fuck are you wasting time with your team when you have him?

_______________________________

MAG 49 - The Butcher’s Window

I read the title and I immediately was: “The meat is back, isn’t it?”

But it’s not just the meat, it’s our old friend Jared! And he does incredibly weird creepy things! And I like them, because they’re creepy without being gorey. You know, it’s just too easy to use gore: scaring without gore is harder and I appreciate it.

Also, what the fuck is the weird… underground superleech he’s feeding? Is that the boneturner? Is this the name of this supernatural shit? After all, every supernatural shit seems to have a name that starts with the definite article: the hive, the vast, the boneturner.

And if we add up all the things we discovered until now, that means that Jared became the Boneturner/the body of the Boneturner thanks to the Leitner’s book that “facilitated” the connection and, since he became that thing, that thing also became him. So the underground creepy superleech is still part of him and by feeding it, he’s feeding himself too.

You know, the whole process of feeding it was creepy, fine, but it made me smile too because… come on, it looks like a guy throwing snacks at his dog. That’s funny.

But not as funny as the mental image of this weird superleech I got, that resembles something like this:

This is a sea lamprey. It’s not a leech, but it’s the closest animal to represent what I imagined. And yes, this is a real living creature on this planet. You’re welcome, glad to know this will haunt your dreams too.

A-ah! We finally got more info about Elias! I knew it was weird that he managed to go from filing clerk to head of the Institute, but I had no idea he became head of the Institute just in five goddamn years. What did he do, did he kill everyone else? Did he kill James Wright too? Did this man also “die on the job” as Gertrude?

Also, how absolutely, insanely funny is it to think that Elias was a pothead? I read it and I was like… what? This guy?! I always imagined him like a posh guy and now you tell me he was smoking crack or whatever? That’s too funny, I love that and it would be hilarious if that’s the reason why he killed everyone else: not because of the Lukas family, not because of the supernatural shits: just because he wants to hide his past.

_______________________________

MAG 50 - Foundations

Oooh, another old statement addressed to Jonah Magnus! I suppose that’s how the Institute started: with this guy walking back and forth inside his house, surrounded by creepy stories. A bit like Jon now. And nope, I don’t like this parallel.

The story itself is very meh. It’s not really creepy nor scary, just “mysterious guy appears outside an office” and “fingers on a stone uuuh”.

This statement probably served to remind us about Robert Smirke’s existence. Jon probably forgot, but I remember that in season 1, he said Tim mentioned him an architect he was obsessed with and this architect was Robert Smirke. So I suppose this guy is important.

We also have Sir George Gilbert Scott now. When Mr. Kempthorne said Scott’s projects had odd symmetries and seemed claustrophobic, they reminded me of the underground tunnels of the Institute. Is it possible that one of these guys is responsible for the construction of the ex Millbank prison? I suppose only time will tell.

I died laughing when Tim thought Jon was hitting on Basira. How he went from “That woman is weird” to “Good job boss, get her”. He’s the best, I love him.

_______________________________

In conclusion

Oh my, what a start for season 2! We have more Michaels than ever, too many theories and lots of mysteries I still can’t grasp.

I want more. I want to know more about Michael, I want to find out which theory is correct. Is Michael Crew one of the many identities of Best Boyo Michael? Is Michael vast and distorted or they’re two different Michaels? Is every supernatural shit named Michael? Is Elias just a pothead trying to survive in a world full of supernatural shits? Is Gerard still on holiday?

We’ll meet back soon with ten more chapters.

>> Next post

(How about a coffee? ☕)

_______________________________

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[simplepotatofarmer]

Hi! Sorry if this is a bit deep and ramble-y but it’s just something that’s been on my mind. Have you ever doubted defending dream?

Sometimes I feel like I’m wrong for feeling bad for him. I feel like I get where some ppl are coming from when they say why they hate him but then am horrified by what they do with that hatred.

I keep telling myself that it’s normal to feel empathy for someone that you could see was facing a lot of shit. I felt bad for him in April, but also felt bad for feeling bad because everyone was saying how he was a horrible person who deserved horrible things. Looking back, and reading some ppls reflections on it, it’s much more obvious how April specifically was just an obscene hate campaign, but even then I have moments of doubt just because of how universal the idea of dream always being in the wrong seems to be, especially in this community.

Even with the most recent incident, where I did step away for a while, I felt bad for him and his friends for the things their fans were doing. But then I also felt bad for feeling bad because so many ppl on here say that the extreme means are necessary.

Even though I am more of a causal fan, I don’t want to live in an echo chamber and I think the ppl in the fandom who I do follow (like you) are pretty rational about everything. I’ve tried following other ppl but there’s just this everpresent hatred of him that I don’t like seeing everyday on my dash. But I again feel wrong for feeling that way. It’s all just frustrating.

i was going to sleep but this is actually a really important ask, in my humble opinion.

the short answer is no.

the long answer is absolutely not, i've never regretted defending him over the things i have defended him over because even if he was a terrible person and not like, a dude none of us know personally who is not perfect and makes mistakes and is sometimes a fucking idiot, those would still be things i would defend him for.

defending someone against absolutely vile queerphobia is never something i'd regret because it's quite simply just the right thing to do. erasing someone's identity because you don't like them is wrong, point blank. blair white or caitlynn jenner are no less deserving of respect as trans women than any other woman.

defending dream against ableism is always gonna be the right thing because you don't have to be a good person to deserve not to be treated awfully due to your neurodivergence.

and like, there's been things i've defended dream on where i don't completely agree with him. i think he's been a little baby sometimes when it comes to mcc but when people were saying shit like he was '''manipulating''' us and noxcrew because he said he didn't want to play in mcc if he had to play buildmart, yeah i'm going to point out that's a batshit take. someone venting and being frustrated isn't manipulation, he was just throwing a tantrum. touch grass yada yada.

and when it comes to my belief that people can be racist in the past and change, that still applies! i still think dream actively tried to be better! he grew up in a bigoted environment, is open about his racist past (and fucking uses the word racist/bigoted, thank god) and is actively working to be better.

that's always going to be true and frankly, i think it's not only weird but extremely telling that a LOT of white people who had formerly defended him suddenly switched up. it just shows that it was never about the harm done and poc but whether or not you liked some white boy.

but i digress.

the thing is, anon, i get why you feel this way. this fandom and online culture as a whole lately is wrought with the belief that consumption of media is a reflection of your morals. that consuming the right media and being a fan of the right sort of person is akin to activism.

it's not. it doesn't fucking matter. there's no righteousness in hating dream. you can certainly be valid in hating him! there's a lot of reasons to dislike him or hate him or feel he shouldn't have a platform. i might not agree with it all but i can see it.

the problem is.... i see why you feel like this and that is genuinely so sad and messed up because how did we get to the point where queerphobia or ableism or body shaming is totally okay as long as it's a certain group and to where people doubt themselves when they think it's wrong! it is wrong but i completely understand why anyone would second guess themselves.

as it stands right now, i don't regret it because i feel it's right. i'm always going to feel it's right.

if something comes out tomorrow and it turns out that it really is more than some instagram dms and the questionable choice of giving out his private snapchat, then i won't be defending him.

but i still wouldn't regret any of my past defense because my defense isn't conditional, my belief that people can grow isn't conditional, and my opinion on things like fandom's queerphobia and misuse of terms like 'grooming' would still stand.

[iguessitsjustme]

What’s been going on with me?

No one asked but this is the oversharing website and well. I’ve always treated my blog like my own personal diary. For those of you who know me irl, feel free to ignore. You either already know or you I’m planning on telling you when I get the chance (only you get more details then what I’ll post online). Under the cut for length and other reasons.

I debated posting this but I am incapable of shutting up and telling everyone my business. Well sort of. Obviously, I don’t go into a lot of detail but I share what I’m comfortable telling strangers online.

I had something happen roughly a month ago that massively triggered my ptsd. I also had a whole lot going on in my personal life and I decided to take a break from tumblr for about a week. That break was great. But it became clear not long after I came back from my week break that it wasn’t long enough. Now, if we’re mutuals it’s likely that you’ve noticed I haven’t exactly taken a full break from tumblr and I’ve been here lurking and liking. But I definitely took a break from posting. June and July are already extremely rough months for me mentally and there were things about being on tumblr that made me feel…not great. So I decided to take a step back for myself. I also cut down on the amount of shows I’m watching. I had to place a lot of shows on hold because I no longer had the brain space for them. I’m planning on watching them when I have the time and capacity though.

I have also been…physically ill. I don’t talk about it a whole lot on here but I am chronically ill and it doesn’t often flare up and it doesn’t often flare up bad enough to impact my life but I can honestly say that the month of July has been one of the toughest months of my life. (Please don’t worry about me, I have a rock solid support system and I am doing okay.)

But as a result of my ptsd being triggered and my mental health tanking so severely, I really sat with why tumblr was contributing to this. And I had to come to a decision. I realized that over the past few years, in an attempt to make my blog as safe a space as possible for everyone, I have turned myself into a doormat. I have said before that it is a struggle for me to be kind because my natural state of being is to be mean. So I’ve decided that I’m just gonna be myself. I am going to be mean. That’s not to say that I’m going to go out of my way to be mean and rude and cruel to people. What I mean is, I’m gonna stop pulling punches if people come to me. If you do something weird, I am going to call a spade a spade and call you on it. My motto in real life and now on tumblr is “don’t start nothing, won’t be nothing.” Before I can make my blog a safe space for others, I need to make it a safe space for me. Because I was very close to deactivating my blog and never turning back. BL tumblr can be a wonderful community and I genuinely love it with all my heart (why I am still here and did not deactivate) but dear god we all need to stop policing each other. It’s one thing to have boundaries and it’s entirely another to tell people if they don’t post the way you do, that they’re wrong. If you come on my blog, if you interact with me in some way, you do not get to control what I say, how I say it, or how I post. By all means, if I am being problematic, call me on that shit. But if all we have is a difference of opinion, you don’t get to say shit. That’s not to mean that we can’t have a difference of opinion, but if you in any way imply that I am wrong to be sharing my opinion in any way, then congrats, you’ll see what I’m like when I’m mean. (To be clear, I have a whole list of blocked people now but tumblr is shit so I still see some toxic shit here because tumblr’s blocking system is ass. and before you tell me to use xkit, I do on my laptop but that doesn’t help if I’m on my phone.)

So now that I’ve said…all that. I want to share two things from the past week or so:

I saw Deadpool & Wolverine twice. Those two did definitely fuck in that van. The soundtrack slapped and I’m not just saying that because Stray Kids has a song…somewhere…in that movie. Apparently. Also their song for the movie goes SO HARD. Check out Slash by Stray Kids and then tell me your thoughts.

Speaking of Stray Kids. I saw them at Lollapalooza yesterday! They were GREAT. I was not. I felt wholey unwell the whole time. I am too introverted, too old, and too ill for music festivals. But if you get a chance to see some clips of the performance…just think of me, in the crowd, screaming despite feeling not too hot. (And when I say ill I mean my chronic illness not that I went to a crowded place with a contagious disease). I made a new friend there and I got to see them perform so many songs live. I don’t have a lot of videos or photos of the performances because I was too busy being entranced but I will say that I didn’t know I had to see Super Bowl live until I did. I did not realize I bad I wanted it. And seeing Back Door and God’s Menu live was simply a dream come true. I was close to tears but I held back because I needed to be able to SEE.

And speaking of lolla…one of the bands I saw there (same stage as Stray Kids) is Sundial and they are just…delightful. Wonderful stage presence and a fuckton of talent and if you are looking for some new music/new artist to check out, I HIGHLY recommend. They had a new fan out of me before the first song even ended.

I don’t have much else to add. As always you are welcome to DM me, reply, or send me things to my ask box but energy will be matched. If you’re kind and understanding and approach me genuinely, we’ll get on well. I have made some truly amazing friends here. I mean this when I say that my mutuals are really some of the greatest people on the planet and they deserve all of the love in the world. I love you all so much that I couldn’t leave despite how close I came to leaving. I also would like to add that despite all of the above, I am genuinely and truly fine. I will start posting again and annoy you all with my unhinged thoughts yet again <3