#i’m very tired so sorry
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CHIHIRO
pairing: aizawa shouta x reader (oc- ish)
warnings: mha vigilante spoilers!/mha s5ish spoilers!, mentioned sexual themes, alcohol, trauma and angst😔
i’m back! so i didn’t write a summary cause i wanna let y’all get right into it… it is not proofread it is 6am i wanna sleep and i’ve been sitting here for 2 hours so my bad… i’m very excited for this one and since they made my boy oboro just dissapear into thin air??? i decided to give him some love (he’s still dead but like, oboro- centric okay🙄)
also, there’s not rlly smut in here but it’s implied so read at ur own risk!!
masterlist
Aizawa Shouta’s life was full of regrets. Some were small, quick mistakes that are forgotten easily. Others were heavy, forever burned in his mind, dragging him down. Some things you can’t let go. Moments full of guilt. His past is a heavy weight on his shoulders. Every single regret made him the man he is today.
There is one day, that will haunt him forever. A day that formed every future decision of him. Just at 16 years facing the cruel reality. If he had been faster, better, stronger… He was unprepared and naive. A life taken too soon, he made sure it’ll never happen again. Everything is planned through, rational. He had to push these kids hard if they wanted to stand a chance. He may be brutal, but he only does what’s necessary.
Maybe it helps him to accept his best friends death. That it wasn’t his fault, that he does the right thing. To move on and improve. He always thought he was good at that, being calm and collected and such. If only he’d stop holding himself back.
You’d never find someone like Shirakumo again in your life, that’s what Aizawa always thought. Still, there is one person hitting too close to home. He hated that. How could he let go of this terrible accident when there was such a perfect copy of Shirakumo constantly in his business. He didn’t want to see that all too similar smile, the rare cloud like hair he’s never seen before, or the bubbly personality that could always lighten the mood.
It hurts to think about.
When he was still in High School, she was a lot smaller. He hadn’t seen her often back then. Only a few times when he visited Shirakumo, but of course he knew his little sister. Family was always important to Shirakumo, something Aizawa could never fully understand. He didn’t hate his family, but he didn’t value it as much.
She was 4, maybe even 5 years younger. He didn’t really care about her back then. After Shirakumo’s passing he only saw her at the funeral and then luckily he didn’t have to face his dead friends family anymore. It made him so terrible guilty.
The next time was years later. She was in her last year of High School when he faced her again. If he was honest, he had forgotten about her but seeing how she had grown up to look like her big brother, of course he recognized her. It was more surprising that she remembered him too.
She seemed happy to see him again. It made him uncomfortable. He’d run into her more than often during patrol. She’d always come up to him and talk. It seemed like she wanted to get closer to him, for the wrong intentions, he quickly realized. He would never dare to even think about Shirakumo’s sister like that, and she was still in High School. So he pushed her away.
When he was still in High School, before the accident, Shirakumo told him that his sister seemed to have a tiny crush on him. He barely interacted or talked to her, he thought Shirakumo was ridiculous.
Well, after all those failed attempts at getting closer, he might’ve been right, a little bit. How embarassing. Despite him pushing her away they still stayed in contact. It wasn’t too bad to have someone who shares the same kind of emptiness. The loss of a loved one.
After her graduation, he barely heard from her, which he was kind of grateful for. She was nice, but she was hung up on her dead brothers friend trying to find comfort. They’d both have to live their life. Move on.
And that was it.
Well, not really. It should’ve stayed at that, because now he was in too deep. She studied medicine. She didn’t take the same path as her brother, for now obvious reasons. If that was her decision or their parents, he had no idea. He was happy for her. Still saving the people. Rescuing the ones in need. Some own kind of heroic.
He didn’t really know until he ran into her after a rough night on patrol. She was training to become a doctor, so she started as a nurse in some hospital in Musutafu. Aizawa was more than suprised to see her walking into the room, fixing him up. She looked rather suprised too. Scolded him to be more careful and then sent him off.
Somehow luck wasn’t on his side the following weeks, maybe even months. The villain rate increased rapidly so he had no choice than to come into the hospital more often than not. He’d rather fix up himself, if the wounds were easy to take care of. At some point she was getting tired of fixing him up, but still did it.
She is the spitting image of her brother, just more feminine and he hates it. He wants to hate it. But it gives him closure somehow. He was selfish, and he knew. They started to see each other outside of the hospital too, what a suprise. When she starts her morning shift, he ends his patrol, so sometimes one of them bought coffee since they were in the same area. Just a quick exchange and then they’d go off to do their job. Or sleep.
At some point she gave him her number and threatened him if he wouldn’t call when he was hurt and she was off duty. If it was still an attempt to get more of him, he wasn’t sure. Maybe it’s just her being herself, it is how she acts around other people too. Always friendly and trying to help.
And then the day came where he actually had to call her. He dreaded that day because it meant there were more boundaries crossed than he was comfortable with. But she insisted. He had to. For them.
It happened more often that he would end in her apartment, getting stitched up in her bathroom. That was okay. Friends helping friends.
Shirakumo’s death date came closer. The mood was always sour during this time. His birthday too. He wasn’t the best at coping. He’d just sit in his empty apartment staring at the floor, maybe visit the graveyard if he didn’t feel like a complete failure. Yamada himself said he was always an ass to be around during that time.
Not his fault Yamada is better with emotions than him.
It was around one week before the day. He felt so alone, which he would normally prefer, but this was different. Maybe he could see her, they’re so much alike, it would help him. He was certain. So he called.
He was in her apartment again, this time on the couch rather than the bathroom. She sat down beside him and no one said nothing for quite a while.
“Why did you call? Normally I only see you to fix you up.”
“…I miss him.”
“oh.”
She got up and quickly came back with a bottle of some liquor and two glasses. He doesn’t remember what liquor.
“I didn’t know this was gonna be a shit show today..”
“M’sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
It should’ve stayed at that but he had to push, push for answers. She reminds him so much of him, it hurts. Always fixing him up, puttin him back together and listening to him sulking about Shirakumo even though he was her brother and not his.
“Why are you doing all this.”
“What… Oh Aizawa, I always found you admirable. You don’t give yourself enough credit. I know you don’t seem to be too fond of me, and I totally understand. I’m doing this more for myself, as selfish as that is.”
‘We both.’ he tought. He hated himself for sitting in this apartment. He should be the mature one. Two ‘adults’ sitting on a couch together and sulking for apparently two different reasons.
‘This is getting too much. I can’t do this.’
He doesn’t remember how long he’d been sitting there. The atmosphere was tense, and he could feel himself heating up from the liquor.
She broke the silence first. “Would you say something?” she sounded so desperate. He was desperate too, for closure. He needed something even if he didn’t want it. It was totally his mistake. Totally.
How could he end up in her bed that night. Something to add on the list on regrets.
He couldn’t fuck up more. His best friends little sister, his dead best friends little sister. He should be ashamed. She lies there, hoping for more than just a night of..whatever.
How could he do something like this to Shirakumo. He promised to keep away from her, tell no one about this, apologize- Hell, anything just so this never happened.
Somehow, he always found his way back. His mood only worsened from time to time because he said it’s enough one too many times. He patrols, passing her apartment building, and somehow, he rings the doorbell. Every. Single. Time. Of course she opens, and he’s all over her again just to quickly disappear the next morning.
He ends up hurt, and despite his better judgement goes to her apartment to get fixed up. He may take his shirt off so he can get treated, but hers is next. And every single time he tells himself: ‘Next time, I fix myself up.’
Somehow that never happens.
Then he starts to call her to come to his apartment when he’s having a hard time. But the difference is, he can’t run away. She happily stays in his apartment cooking breakfast before leaving around noon. It makes him uncomfortable.
She thinks of this as more, than just finding comfort. Maybe she doesn’t see why he is doing it and how he regrets it every time. She wanted this for what, years? She seems much happier. He isn’t a person to talk about feelings. He made it clear enough that they are not a couple or anything close to that.
And she’s aware. But there’s hope. That he gets attached to her. He reaches out so of course he wants to see her. She thinks of them more as friends but less than a couple while he thinks it’s clearly a mistake he can’t stop making.
She has some sort of sense to know it’s wrong. When they hastily pull of their clothes, he always sees that she’s pushing the picture of her and Shirakumo down, so he can’t see. It’s on a shelf right at the front door. And even if they go to her bedroom, the frame comes down every time he visits, cause he shouldn’t see.
And when she catches him before he can sneak off, she brings him to the door, where she pulls the picture up again. And there’s always this hopeful look everytime he leaves. He hates it.
He wants to hate it. He wants this misery to end. They won’t ever be together and he knows, she doesn’t. She wouldn’t understand. Because the worst is, she’s pretty yes, but she has so much resemblance with him. When she lays on her bed, he just buries his face in her neck or really anywhere, so he doesn’t have to face that hair, that look. He just can’t.
He doesn’t think she’s noticed yet. She seems quite happy with their arrangement.
It goes on for years.
——————————————————————
hello! i’m back with the aizawa brain rot😔
so i’ve been working on this as a longer story but i had to start somewhere… would y’all wanna see more?
if yes, be prepared for angst😝
song “chihiro” by billie eilish
#aizawa x reader#oboro shirakumo#shouta aizawa#aizawa#oh boy let him suffer#i’m very tired so sorry#oboro deserves more love#even tho he’s not rlly getting any in this fic whops😣#aizawa shouta
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idk what we’re all calling the concept of fiddlestan working together but i’m calling my version the portal partners AU 🙏🏼
#gave it a name bc i was kinda tired of calling it the Fidds and Stan Work Together on the Portal AU#it’s called portal partners bc they’re partners in fixing the portal partners in running the shack AND partners in life#ik i’m not the only one to think of an au where they start working together after ford goes missing#but i don’t see a lot of people really showing the older version of them ? i don’t think ?#like i’ve seen canon older fiddlestan but not older fiddlestan after working together for 30 years ? idk#also figured fidds would look different in a world where he doesn’t lose his mind in his 30s#🤷🏻♂️#gay old men#yay#stan looks and acts the same btw he just happens to also have a very longterm bf to be gay with#gravity falls took place before gay marriage was legal (jesus christ that’s crazy to think about) so that’s why i say very longterm bf#(this means ford would be back in time to attend their wedding tho so. best man ford real. fidd & ford may be sort-of-exes but it’s fine)#gravity falls#gravity falls au#fiddlestan#also… petition to start calling fiddlestan fiddley#bc fiddle(ford) + (stan)ley …. fiddley… u see the vision????#fiddley#🙂↕️🙏🏼#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#gravity falls fanart#idk man i’m gonna tag the au too ig#portal partners au#gravity falls portal partners au#???#my art#(i guess? used a fidds base then redrew it with my changes so idk)#rystiart#sorry if someone’s done smthn similar bc i feel like this idea of them working together is pretty popular maybe 😭
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Holy shit I love your Dirk interpretations, it's so true and I could talk about this shit forever. I feel like another part of his character that people seem to forget (along with Roxy for some reason) is that he's from the future in solitude in an apocalyptic wasteland. I just see that part of his character always removed which is disappointing because I feel like that's a pretty big part, especially regarding his themes around technology, his brother's theme of Time, his own isolation, and how he plays in the vastness of the universe and spacetime.
Art I drew related to the subject because I like to respond to asks with art.
But absolutely. I certainly understand where the lack of discussion over his isolation + upbringing comes from, considering a majority of the fanbase that I have seen builds their ideas based on their own version of postcanon. I’m not entirely sure how that would be fixed, but certainly even in the somewhat recent past I would see a lot more content regarding his upbringing both literally and symbolically. I don’t have much to add regarding the things you’ve mentioned, because they just are what they are. Dirk being confined to a singular room left to him by a father figure he never met, in a future where the only other person left on the planet is someone he cannot pursue a relationship of because of himself, with purely 3 robots to keep him companion, one being an exact replica of his own brain who is *also* trapped inside a pair of glasses, is about as literal as it gets to me.
The contrast to me involving the flooded, organic world in comparison to the little speckle of Dirk’s apartment packed with the dude and his technics is not only a representation of his isolation and entrapment within himself, but also of his lack of control. I think his obsession with & themes of control are a direct product in the case of Dirk specifically *of* this kind of upbringing. His themes of technology are also related to his themes around control. So much of his character is actually revolved around this to me like so much. Dirk is so deeply disconnected from humanity in every way and so much of his character + symbolism is based around that.
It doesn’t even have to be about the symbolism or anything though. It’s just pretty *interesting* in the literal sense that he lives in the middle of the ocean in the future. There’s not only a lot to theorise on to do with his young life there, but on how it might affect him in the way he acts for the rest of his life. The latter part is probably what I see mentioned the most by people talking about Dirk regarding this, I’m surprised I don’t see more discussion on the former too though. I really ought to actually talk more about Homestuck stuff on here. I will do it myself.
Roxy & Dirk’s relationship is largely ignored though because there is a narrative a certain demographic spreads that Dirk resented and blamed Roxy for her interest in him, and thus too many people believe that their relationship was or would continue to be an abusive one. Realistically, I believe it’s important to acknowledge that the way Roxy treated Dirk regarding his homosexuality wasn’t right while still acknowledging the obvious amount of respect and admiration Dirk had for Roxy. I mean we have a huge piece of dialogue from their post trickster mode conversations on the quest beds from Dirk purely stating how he feels about Roxy that people completely ignore somehow. I think this usually happens to characters that are women though. I know everyone says it, but it is true. Jane gets the exact same treatment of boiling her down to solely her negative aspects. The things I see completely mischaracterising both of them are horrific.
I mean how much more explicit can it get that their relationship is obviously very important to Dirk? But I digress. I think the best or I should say “most interesting” interpretations of their relationship usually come from DirkRoxy shippers actually.
I would be interested to hear about Dirk’s relation to his brother’s theme of time though. I don’t have any thoughts on this and I don’t recall ever hearing anyone talk about it before. If you or anyone else would be willing to enlighten me I’d be thrilled.
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#hs fanart#dirk strider#blooby posting#ask#Sorry for taking so long to reply to you on this. I’ve been in more of a drawing than a speaking mood lately#which is very unusual for me. This is definitely not as much of a post as it could be but I’m still not back on my thought and speech game#I know the Roxy mention was in brackets but good lord the treatment Roxy gets from fanbase is insane. Couldn’t help myself#Sorry if anything is worded badly. I’m tired per usual#I think (with no malice in my heart) people just tend to leave out what they don’t like about characters though.#I was very briefly talking with Pomme johnegbertirl#and it got me thinking about how far a lot of people’s interpretations of characters stray from what would be realistic to canon#based on their own biases. Which I guess I probably do too to a certain degree.#I’m not one to judge people for their characterisations at all#I tend to be very forgiving when it comes to reads#but… I admit that is indeed a little disappointing to see how completely ignored some parts of his characters are.#Sorry for tangent that is tenuously related. It is relevant enough to shove haphazardly into tags#I’m glad you like my Dirk ramblings though. Thanks brother#We live on
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a crossover absolutely nobody asked for!
#loki series#loki#hades game#hades 2#WORLDS i typo'd i'll fix that later#hades spoilers#?#Marvel#Mcu#marvel cinematic universe#my art#Mine#okay that feels weirdly possessive lol#okay i’m v aware these aren't even the same mythologies but I wanted to study the art style so!#procreate#digital art#artists on tumblr#loki season 2#loki season 2 spoilers#also the dialogue isn't great in my defence I'm very tired sorry 😭
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Things I make for myself when insomnia kicks in
Just a chart about what I wanna change up and keep consistent in my art - I mainly wanna draw Raph with a tail because he deserves one, it fits too well. Donnie gets a long tail too because I didn’t realize how dino-like he looks until I gave him one, and now it’s a must for me haha.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#note these are veryyy much for my own art so by all means ignore this completely for your own unless it resonates#these are just my personal headcanons#I’ve been getting more and more fond of the turtles having tails - especially Raph whose design honestly feels more complete with one#I also am now attached to Donnie having a long tail too because 1) he looks cute with one and it really works for him and-#2) I LOVE giving the Brains and Brawn duo more stuff in common#I could write an essay about how many things Brains and Brawns duo has in common in general#but also portal duo as well!!#we already know that Mikey and Leo look a LOT alike#so I think it’s cute when Raph and Donnie have stuff like that in common with each other too#like how canonically Donnie’s sclera are on the yellow side like Raph’s#anyway I’m sorry if this is a random post I am very tired and still have not slept#ALSO yeah i wanted an excuse to doodle April it’s been too long i missed her#I’m excited to finish this comic up to show the OTHER reason I gave Donnie a long tail#I made this in like five minutes because working on my comic was not working out#also Draxum totally has a tail he’s a sheep#I lean away from Mikey and Leo having longer tails mainly because their designs are already so busy#with all the colors and shapes present on them#so to me longer tails kinda takes away a bit#meanwhile Raph and Donnie are more monochrome in comparison so I feel like tails only help them?#I think as well Donnie’s torso/carapace being on the shorter side makes a tail balance him out#(me trying to justify the visual gag im putting into the comic for literally only two panels)#didn’t draw the caseys because I am tiredddd#and they would have just ended up where April is anyway
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quick vicagent
#my art#animator vs animation#ava#ava vicagent#vicagent#ava victim#ava agent smith#alan becker#sorry guys this is a very low effort#i’m so tired today
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Why not enjoy the view together?
#manspreading diluc haunts my dreams he’s just so large and beefy thanks for indulging with me#life is still really busy and i’m always tired so sorry for not being on here much#i mean to get to my asks soon i’m very dogshit at this if you haven’t noticed#someone very kind gave me a generous tip on kofi to finish the sketch to this painting so how could i now#not*#diluc#my art#genshin impact#genshin#diluc ragnvindr#diluc fanart
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‘ceaseless watcher, turn your gaze upon this 𝓯 𝓻 𝓮 𝓪 𝓴 𝔂 thing’
#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims#pinterest#what if#I found this under some fan art from the angler fish btw#unprovoked#jon would not approve of freaky. archives im sure#as a fellow ace I wouldn’t either#I’m sorry I am very tired and this is so funny to me#freaky archives
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Hey everyone! this is where the zebra is currently with the design.
It has knee braces!! I will most probably be drawing the zebra usually with them on, but it’s no requirement, for example if anyone else wants to draw the zebra :-]. I always like to make sure an animal design has official colors underneath any clothing and accessory anyway. I think this will be final! thank you everyone for your feedback!
As a reminder, aside from why the zebra was requested for this flag, this is also just a zebra with the disability pride flag on it. It’s just a deisgn to fit the flag, with input from other disabled people in our community. It doesn’t mean other animals can’t have designs with these colors, too! I don’t mean this design to be the only mascot for all disabled people. It’s just a silly series i do of pride animals, and at the time, during disability pride month, I wanted to see what everyone wanted me to start off with for this flag!
the goal with my pride animals is to take requests and make people feel happy and seen.. that’s all <:-)
#disability pride#pride animals#disability#disability pride flag#zebras#I’ve been a little stressed about this animal for the past week.. I will be honest with you#The zebra has many stripes and I wanted to try my best to make sure it wouldn’t cause issues like headaches or other things#also.. if]ve been working on this for a while now.. i want to call it done soon!#But now that this is finished#I will start designing stickers and pins to put on redbubble and also for me to print IRL!#thank you everyone! I’ve also learned more than whatbI already knew this week#Even if it was stressful it was fun to see everyone get so excited when I would show updates to the designs#Sorry for a long speech.. I am a very nervous person today#Excuse my typos! I’m a fast typer and tired from the day#ebonytailsart#Thank you yomcloud for giving me your feedback as well. I don’t have a lot of perspective on visual processing disorders and photensitivity#so it meant a lot to me#just like the other pride animals I am very open to making more animal designs for this flag! But I’d like to save it for the future instea#It’s a bit too soon at the moment. thank youuu
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Hey, I've seen a lot of reasonable discussions about Gabe's zionism and I thought his latest comment on his initial post would be worth sharing. It was posted about 20min ago
It's not a perfect response, but I think it honestly is pretty acceptable. What are your thoughts?
thank you very much for sharing this with me! though i’m, of course, no expert on this my initial reaction to reading that is to agree with you- it isn’t perfect, but the level of self-reclection and accountability being taken by him there Is better than anything i could’ve hoped for. it’s a step in the right direction, i think, and i can only hope he continues showing this level or more of growth and education on what is happening in palestine and that his previous behavior and statements were Not acceptable. perhaps it’s the bare minimum or Veryyy close to it considering the harmful rhetoric he had been sharing, but some level of growth from that is still reassuring to witness.
#so sorry if this isn’t as eloquent as i wanted it to be i’m very tired but wanted to answer this asap!!!#also i hope i’m not coming off as too graceful Or harsh on him or anything it’s kinda like. it’s a reassuring step but i hope it isnt all#we see yk? i hope he engages in more discussion and reflection that helps him grow further and something from fob would still be nice#but still! much better than anything i was hoping for. thank you again for sharing!#asks#alittleannihilati0n
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I’m too tired to post an essay but my girl was just a victim of bad writing and a lack of critical thinking from the audience okay I love her.
#I’m so passionate about this#I won’t discourse with anyone but I will fume silently#if you just don’t like her idc#I’m talking about the people that actively hate on her#There aren’t many of you guys but the few that are#I am not very fond of your content (I’m sure you’re great people tho)#And they’re mostly in the Varian fandom#Like you’re few and far between but still#You kinda ruin it a tiny bit for me#The rest of the Var fandom tho I love you guys and you’re great#Keep doing amazing sweetie#Sorry I’m in a bad mood and feeling salty#Pmdd haha#tts#tangled the series#rapunzel's tangled adventure#rapunzel#Also if you reblog/comment trying to debate me you will be ignored or even blocked I’m not in the mood (no offense tho it’s not personal)#Just let me be salty#You’re entitled to your own opinion I’m not actually hating on anyone#I’m just tired
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met a VERY charming lil friend yesterday who i have never (knowingly) seen before!!! 🖤💛
this is the Sequoia Pitch moth (Synanthedon sequoiae), yes, moth! these fascinating little creatures bear an incredible resemblance to members of the family Vespidae, like common paper wasps and yellowjackets, and that’s no simple coincidence!
the appearance of these moths is an example of Batesian mimicry, a type of mimicry where one species mimics the warning signals of another species, but without having the same harmful or undesirable defences.
in this case these moths look like they may give you a nasty sting, but really they’re about as harmless as a moth can be! (plus they have gorgeous slightly iridescent black-lined wings and fluffy little shrimp-like tails! absolute cuties!)
#i’m tired and my phone keyboard is lagging like crazy i’m sorry if this reads all jumbled#i just thought they were super cute and cool and wanted to share#this is the second time in a row that i’ve gone to this friend’s house and gotten overly excited about an insect i found on their deck#honestly i think they’re a little sick of my overexcitement but like#c’mon you can’t tell me this little stripy shrimp-tailed cutie isn’t cool af#i think they were injured in some way (legs it looked like) but they were still alive#so after a small photoshoot i left them to do their thing and told myself if they were still there in the morning#and they had passed away that i would bring them home to pin#but alas they were gone by morning#i miss u little friend#i hope you’re alive somewhere#or at least the reason some spider or bird has a fuller belly#Sequoia Pitch moth#photography#(kinda. i didn’t have my macro lens on me and was VERY sad about that)#insects#moth#Batesian mimicry#lepidoptera
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How about Ashley x Emo Fem Reader? Like gothic with uhh emotic? Or something like that. Like they meet when they been in high school. And they live in Y/N's house that she get from her parents when they passed
If you had any questions, ask me
Oooohhhh- okay okay!
Ashley Graves x Emo Fem!Reader
Social outcast, you generally considered yourself
Not just you, your peers as well had called you that- or…crude variations of it
Point is, no one in school really liked you
You’ve overheard their gossip- all the same shit really
“I bet she lights cats on fire!” “Look at her sleeves, I bet she cuts herself.” “She’s gonna blow up the school I swear”
They couldn’t even bother to be creative with their assumptions about you- a lot of the same depressed demon stuff
….and you are depressed- but that’s besides the point!
You never really connected with any of your peers..
…well- except one..
Lunchtime was quite possibly the worst part of your day. It was a war zone. In the classrooms you had teachers to lessen the blows your classmates would throw at you, both metaphorically and physically, here the only solace of a savior were the underpaid lunch ladies who were occupied handing out food to students.
You hugged the wall as you carefully watched your peers, they all seemed fairly occupied in their own conversations- not even noticing you. You liked it when they forgot your existence. Loneliness beat cruelty.
There was a table you always sat at, tucked into the corner of the lunchroom- and for good reasons. The surface was littered with graffiti of swears, slurs, those cool S’s, and various crude doodles left by your peers. Not only that, but the table was very wobbly, so badly you usually have to use two textbooks to prop it up. The bottom was covered in dried out, chewed gum- the entire thing was just a sitting “DO NOT COME HERE” sign.
And it was perfect!
No one ever sat there due to how shitty it was, you think the students and faculty didn’t even bother to go near it. They either think it’s cursed, or forgot about it. Or both. Maybe both. But today someone had actually got there before you did.
A disgruntled girl with messy black hair poked at the mystery meat on her lunch tray. Poked isn’t the right word- more like viciously stabbed it repeatedly. Her nose scrunched in frustration, likely not directed towards the so-called food, but it was the only thing she had to vent her frustrations on to. She hadn’t noticed you.
You stood there a little awkwardly, not wanting to startle her on accident, so instead you spoke up meekly.
“Uhm…hi.” You smiled a little, trying to harmless. She didn’t look like your average bullies, but you can never be too careful.
She looked up at you with her pink eyes- her gaze was sharp, and you instinctively tensed in preparation for some insult to be thrown. She gave you a once over before returning to her tray, “…hey.”
“Can I…sit here?” It was a dumb question. Technically this table had been your seat, and this girl just showed up out of nowhere- but, oh well.
She gave a frustrated sigh, “God- did Andy put you up to this?” She asked rather accusatory, pointing her fork at you.
You opened your mouth to reply before she interrupted you, “Look how many times do I have to tell you hussies, you’re just wasting your time! He’s not going to fuck you if you’re nice to me so just—“
“Who’s Andy?”
The question you asked sounded genuine….cause it was. Really, you had no idea who this ‘Andy’ guy was. The girl lowered her fork, eyeing you wearily before she decided that you weren’t lying. She turned her head and muttered,
“….you can sit.”
And so you did. The two of you ate in relative silence. Well- you ate. Your new lunch friend more-so stabbed at her food then ate it. You swallowed down the lump of unidentifiable cafeteria meat and gave her a friendly smile. The silence was deafening and you’d never had anyone to eat with so maybe…maybe this could be nice for a change..
“I’m Y/N.” You introduced yourself.
The girl glanced up at you before returning to her tray, “…Ashley..”
“I’ve never seen you at this table much.” your hands patted the surface nervously.
“Normally I sit with my brother and so-called friend,” her words dripped with malice, “But my stupid brother had to go study for some history test! And my ‘friend’ conveniently didn’t save me a seat…” she stuck her fork into the biggest chunk of her food and muttered, “Fucking bitch…”
“That’s a bit harsh..” you mumbled, causing Ashley to perk up and glare at you.
She practically climbed over the table and held her fork out towards you, making your hands instinctively raise in surrender, “She is a bitch! A doe-eyed hussie who thinks she’s soooooo innocent when she sucks just as much as everyone else!”
“I meant it was harsh that she wouldn’t let you sit with her,” your eyes were fixated on the fork, kind of worried Ashley would drive it into your neck, “I…should’ve been more specific. Sorry.”
Ashley’s pink eyes widened a little, she almost seemed- shocked someone took her side. Slowly, she clambered back to her seat and went quiet. You lowered your hands back into your lap and stared at her. Ashley pushed her tray and folded her arms overtop the table.
“….thanks.” She mumbled.
After that, you saw Ashley a lot more
It wasn’t every day, maybe once a week or two she would show up at your hidden table to eat
Slowly, she came out of that shell and actually initiated conversations
Well- conversations were a stretch. It was more like her venting about her frustrating day while you nodded along and ate.
Eventually, she liked you enough to stop you in the halls and walk with you
Usually her brother, Andrew you had come to learn his actual name, walked with her and she made a show to cling on to your arm
It never failed to make the heat rush to your face
Ashley was cute. Very cute. And had a general unhinged vibe that just made her all the more alluring
So it didn’t surprise you that you’d catch feelings for your new friend
No- what surprised you was when Ashley actually liked you back
You paused, silence hanging in the air as Ashley stared at you expectingly. Her foot tapped with impatience as she awaited what you were going to say.
“Well?”
You didn’t know what to say, the only time anyone has asked you out was as a prank. This was different. The question wasn’t coming from some bully barely able to keep their giggles in, this was coming from your friend. Someone you trusted. Someone who wouldn’t hurt you…..at least you think. She did threaten you with a fork.
Ashley’s growing impatience let you know just how slack jawed you were, “Look- if you’re going to be weird about this then just…forget I said anything.” She crossed her arms, turning away from you in a huff.
That was when you came out of your stupor, trying to salvage this, “No! No! It’s okay- really! I’m just….shocked that you asked me out.” You stammered with your explanation, “I didn’t even think you liked girls..”
“Me neither.” She mumbled, the faintest starts of a blush painting her cheeks. It was cute. She was cute.
Your face softened as you placed a hand on her shoulder, “….I’d love to.”
From there you two were dating
Had it only put more unwanted attention on you? Yes, but you wouldn’t have it any other way
You were happy, so fuck what those jerks had to say
Things were good, and after high school the both of you fucked off to another town
With Andrew in college, it’s not like Ashley wanted to stick around her shitty homelife
And you- honestly had no connections aside from your parents, and moving out was expected
So, it was you and Ashley. Outcast for outcast
#the coffin of andy and leyley#ashley graves#tcoaal#x reader#ashley graves x reader#OKAY-#I am so sorry this took so long#and to anyone who’s sent requests I haven’t forgotten those either#I’ve just been….so goddamn tired lately#motivation to write has been low and I’m trying to find some to make these fics for y’all#cause I love doing this#I love making these things for you folks#and I want to keep doing that#so if progress slows I am very sorry#take care of y’allselves <3
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❕ Rise comic spoilers ❕
The future turtles’ sizes hmmm
Something interesting I noticed was that the future boys…aren’t all that massive? They’re still tall, but good future Leo seems roughly on par with present day Raph, which is about six feet or so. Hell, future Casey Jr looked taller than future Donnie and Leo.
It’s probably just stylistic differences between the movie and comic, but I kinda like to think that maybe the presence of the Krang and their goop caused mutants to grow bigger? They did bring empyrean to earth and are directly intertwined with yokai and mutants being around at all…
Just a fun thought, is all. Happy(ish) timeline = less of a chance to hit your head on every single doorframe.
#rise comic spoilers#tmnt 40th anniversary#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#just a fun observation#probably absolutely nothing but eh#April also seemed way taller but again all of these are prob just stylistic choices lol#again this is veryyyyy soft canon I think but this is fun to think about#I’m very tired so sorry to the asks but I must pass out now!
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9.9 ON THE MOTHERQUAKE SCALE - CUNTOTRON 9000 HAS JUST TOUCHED DOWN AND RELEASED MASSIVE WAVES OF BIG PUSSY ENERGY
#iwtv#sam reid#lestat#lestat de lioncourt#I’m so sorry I’m very tired#the caption came to me and I couldn’t be free until I wrote it
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When I see stuff like this I kinda want to bash my head into a wall:
To start off, I’m not sure whether this person was commenting on book or show Cersei, but honestly, it doesn’t even matter because she’s so much more than the ‘ambitious villain’ or the ‘murderous girlboss’ tropes in both the book and show.
(Of course, I do have my issues with the way Cersei was written in the show like most people but this is simply a rant post so I’m not going to go through the differences of Show vs Book Cersei)
Cersei is a female character who was shaped by her environment, who’s insecurities were created by her environment, and she’s a woman who’s idiotic mistakes can be traced back to how her environment shaped her. She’s much more than a murderous girlboss, she’s both a victim of the system and also a beneficiary of it, while also acting as an agent of it to keep the status quo while also desiring what the system denied her.
Cersei is NUANCED and complicated and even now people hate that about her and want her to have been a purely evil woman handcrafted in a vacuum, ignoring the context of her life because readers would rather not engage with Cersei’s victimhood and nuances because that ruins their idea of: She Was The Problem and Always The Problem. (People would rather say that she deserved her walk of shame instead of interacting meaningfully with the theme of systematic gender-based violence that is so prevalent in Cersei’s story. The exploration of patriarchal violence in Show Alicent’s story is done so horribly in comparison.)
And what really pissed me off about these tags is that this person has clearly decided that they don’t care to interact with the nuance of Cersei and are fine with flattening her, and yet they shit on others for not liking Alicent.
Because of the way Alicent is written in this show, she almost always has a ‘woe is me I can do no wrong’ attitude, which of course drives people away from the character (woe is me I deserve to take a child’s eye 🥺). However, what actually annoys me is how she’s made out to be stupid, foolish, ignorant, and inconsistent due to the horrible writing of this show, all of which are deviations from her book characterization. Also, I despise it when people want me to support writing decisions and changes made in adaptations that are downright misogynistic and are meant to attract the male gaze.
But what pisses many people, including myself, off is how the changes made negatively impacted many other characters. Alicent’s terrible characterization is like a black hole that distorts and warps the whole story! It’s annoying af!
So when people like this say: ‘She’s nuanced and people just can’t handle it 🙄;’ I say: No. She’s horribly written and a different character from the book and people have a right to be critical about these changes that stripped a female character of 1) her agency and 2) her intelligence!
And the thing is, there was little reason for the writers to have made all these changes to Alicent’s characterization! In the book she is an interesting character with clear motives and understandable reactions. She’s cunning and ambitious and acts the way a noble lady who became queen would. And despite her clear ambitions and dislike of Rhaenyra, she still makes a comment wondering about who would protect the Princess from Ser Criston, and yet she then takes Cole into her service after his falling out with Rhaenyra. That’s a perfect example of nuance! Show Alicent could never compare to book Alicent’s clear moral values and consistent disregard of said moral values in pursuit of power.
And because of this, Book Alicent isn’t easy to stomach. It’s hard for most people to come to terms with a character like her and it’s even harder for people to feel sympathetic for her at the end when she went mad with grief.
On the other hand, Show Alicent was designed in a way to garner pity, and when the writers felt like her current arc wouldn’t be enough to garner the specific reaction they wanted they would then throw in a time skip and suddenly she’s completely different and yet still Thee victim. She’s designed to be as sympathetic as fucking possible! The camera angles, the background music, and the lighting is set up in a way to make sure you the viewer feels pity or sympathy for her! Cause that’s her role in this series! She’s thee Ultimate Victim!
But too bad for the writers as many people are fed up with this kind of inconsistent writing. Even when the writers created a whole new challenge for Alicent where she’s shitted on by the green council and forced to face the beast she helped to raise, I and many others could never feel any satisfaction as it was clear that once again Alicent was being made to be Thee Ultimate Victim who was just led astray by the patriarchy and was a victim of it and was only just realizing it so don’t you pity her don’t you feel sad for her and now she’s trying to do the right thing so pls pls pls pity her 🥺~ So it shouldn’t be surprising that many people are annoyed by these eNLiGhtEnEd changes that have led to a complete deviation from the source material.
To summarize: Cersei is an excellent fucking character who’s by no means easy to stomach, and because she’s not easy to stomach she’s often reduced to annoying ass tropes by dumbasses who are reading above their comprehension level. But when you actually try to understand her, you can easily see why she turned out the way she did and you can feel sympathy for her while understanding that she’s both victim and perpetrator! On the other hand, Show Alicent is a mess and HOTD is trying to make her serve a different narrative role than she did in the books so ofc people are going to be unhappy with the changes as book readers are once again faced with the annoying reality that the writers don’t give a fuck about the source material.
#tbh i can’t believe im actually posting about this show again#but i got so angry by the way that these tags were worded#maybe the person didn’t mean to make it sound as tho cersei wasn’t nuanced to them#but reading between the lines kinda makes it seem as tho they were implying that#rant post#just annoyed af rn#alicent’s narrative role has changed and yes i’m very annoyed by that and that’s one of the reasons as to why i dropped hotd#cause wtf are they going to change next in order to be consistent with these changes?#unless hotd writers decide to once again change alicent’s whole ass character arc and make her seem even more fking wishy washy#bsffr alicent doesn’t come close to cerseis lvl of nuance#reducing cersei to Ambitious Villain is literally rage inducing#tbh it clearly shows that this person only appreciates certain kinds of female characters and can’t stomach badass girl bosses 🙄#not to say that GOTs writing was good lol it was shit but at least the female characters had consistent goals!#hotd fandom critical#anti alicent stans#anti alicent hightower#cersei lannister#the audacity to say that cersei doesn’t display real flaws and isn’t vulnerable#maybe i’m blowing this out of proportion and maybe im making a lot of assumptions but im struggling to care bc im so done with alicent stans#i’m real tired so i’m sorry about any grammar mistakes !#keep cersei’s name outa ur damn mouths 😡
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