#i’m so sane about this anime trust

[kozmicmizuu]

just watched the first episode of the newest demon slayer season IM NOT WELL

they did them all SO GOOD

i ain’t gonna say nothing yet cause i’m guessing some of yall are waiting for the whole season to come out to watch

i was gonna do that but i got too impatient 😞😞

-Kozu’s absolute brain rot 😼

[badgirlmaymay]

CALL, AND ILL RUSH OUT

Mason Thames x Y/n

IN WHICH….y/n and Mason supposedly hate each other, but they’ve been hooking up on the down low. When her ex shows up to her door when she has friends over, who does she want to call?

WARNING… arguing, mentions of sex/hooking up, slut shaming, mentions of STD’s, coarse language.

Y/N

BANG BANG BANG

I practically fall off the couch, groaning as I sit up in alert. I look around, to see Madeleine, Brady, Jacob, Tristan and Miguel all doing the same. We’d decided to have a sleepover, since according to them, I still couldn’t be trusted alone ever since I’d broken up with my ex, Louis.

“What the fuck?” Brady groans from the mattress on the floor. We were all home alone at my house, so I’m even more confused.

BANG BANG BANG

Through my disorientated mind, I realise that the banging is coming from the front door, and I stumble to a stand, nearly stepping on a few hands as I do so, but eventually everyone is up as well.

“Y/n/n, I know you’re in there!” The familiar voice is Louis shouts. I gulp. I can tell he’s drunk from the way his words slur. I feel eyes on me, then Brady surges forward towards the front door, and for a second I think he’s going to open it, but instead he bangs back.

“Y/n’s asleep. Call tomorrow like a sane person!” Brady shouts, but I know Louis. I know he isn’t going to just give up. He’ll sit there for days if he has to.

“I know my girlfriend, and I know she’s standing right behind that door!” Louis shouts back. Ex girlfriend I want to shout out and correct him, but I stop myself. I hesitate for a moment as Louis bangs on the door again.

“Let him in.” I mutter.

“What? No. Y/n, he’s drunk.” Miguel protests.

“He won’t hurt me. I know him.” I insist, and after a second of silence, Brady unlocks the door. I sort of expect Louis to do a cartwheel inside and land like an animal, but instead he slowly walks in. And he’s definitely drunk. I can tell by the look on his face.

“Leave us alone for a sec.” I find myself saying.

“Fuck no.” Tristan shakes his head. All the guys are stood to attention, as if they’re ready to fight Louis on the spot. And Louis seems to sense it as well.

“It’s okay. We’re just gonna talk, right?.” I say, and Louis nods.

“If you so much as look at her the wrong way, the only thing you’ll be talking to is my fist.” Brady says threateningly, and Louis nods. Maddy gives my arm a quick squeeze, before they all go and sit in the lounge room, leaving Louis and I in the entrance hall.

I watch as he slumps against the wall, knees locking so he doesn’t fall down.

“Mason Thames?” Louis groans, sounding like he’s either about to cry or punch something. My gut twists itself into a not. I really hope he won’t do either.

“We’re not dating.” I attempt to reassure him.

“You’re just fucking him.” Louis concludes. I can’t deny it. I used to hate Mason, ever since I got that role in the black phone, but after me and Louis broke up a month ago, I somehow always find myself in his bed.

“He’s such a slut, Y/n, cmon.” Louis continues, and I run a hand through my messy hair. I stay silent. “You’re not one for casual hookups. I know you. It took us four months to have sex.”

Louis isn’t wrong. I know he isn’t. But somethings different with Mason.

“It’s complicated, okay? And it’s none of your business.” I conclude, and Louis pushes himself off the wall, and for a second I think he’s gonna come at me, but he starts pacing back and forth before coming to a halt in front of me, only inches apart.

“Were you fucking him when we were together?” He asks, but before I can answer, he’s spitting out more words of anger. “He practically lives at the health centre. Jesus Christ!” I know the group can hear us now, because he’s raising his voice. I also know that Louis is completely wrong, but my words are caught in my throat. “Am I gonna have to get tested now? Do you have std’s?”

“Stop it, Louis.” I state. “You’re being rude. You need to leave.”

“God, I can’t believe I ever wanted to get back with you.” Louis takes a step closer, and I try to back away, but he grabs both of my arms and pulls me closer so he’s yelling in my face. His iron grips makes me wince, and I blink back tears. “God, you’re such a slut. I can’t believe you’re fucking him! You’re a disease ridden whore-“

“That’s enough!” Brady roars as the group re enters the hall, and I watch as Brady grabs Louis by the collar of his shirt, and hauls him out my front door. Miguel follows after them, shutting the door behind them.

“Babe?” Maddy asks, but I can’t see her face over the sea of tears pooling in my eyes. Her hands are gentle as they caress my arms. I can see Tristan and Jacob as well, all three of them staring at me with worry.

I let out a choked sob as I rush past them, racing up the stairs and to my room, but they follow me.

“Y/n?” I hear Tristan say, as I reach for my phone, but to my dismay, it’s dead.

“Can you call Mason?” I ask, as I slump onto my bed. All three of my friends stare at me in shock and silence.

“Mason thames?” Jacob asks. I nod.

“As in our costar Mason Thames?” Tristan asks. I nod again.

“Mason Thames, as in the guy you hate?” Maddy asks.

“Please just call him.”

~~~~~~ MASON

My blood roars in my eyes as I push open the front door of Y/n’s house, to see Brady, Tristan, Jacob, Mikey, and Maddy all standing in the entrance hall. It’s one in the morning, and I’d gotten a call from Tristan telling me to come over to Y/n’s place, where they’d all been hanging out. No explaining, he just told me Y/n’s upset and wants to see me.

“Where is she?” I ask, trying to shove past them, but Brady places a firm hand on my chest, holding me back.

“Mason, man, just calm down okay? She’s a bit upset.” Brady explains, making me even more confused.

“What happened? What did you guys do to her?” I ask. I have so many questions.

“None of us did anything, Mason.” Maddy pipes up, and I run a hand through my hair in exasperation. “Louis showed up, she told us to let him in-“

“You let him in?!” I shout, and Maddy sighs. I know all about Louis. And I think I hate him more than Y/n does.

“She told us to.” Jacob says.

“Where is she?” I demand.

“She’s in her room, but Mason, Louis said some things-“ Tristan starts, but I don’t let him finish. I barge past my friends and race up the stairs to Y/n’s room, and when I open the door, I’m met with a sight for sore eyes.

“Baby..” I say, and I hear a gasp from behind me, and I turn around to see all of our friends. I slam the door in their face.

Y/n’s sobbing on her bed, eyes puffy and swollen. She looks up at me through her tears, and i reacted immediately. I sat down on the bed next to her, wrapping my arms around her smaller figure and bringing her head down to my chest.

”What happened, baby?” I ask gently.

“Louis showed up.” She managed through sobs. “He called me…He called me a disease ridden whore because I’m sleeping with you.”

“What?” Anger bubbles in my throat. “Y/n, we’ve only ever been safe. And you’re the only person I’ve ever-“

“I know. I know.” Y/n says, sitting up and wiping her eyes. But I’m willing to get tested to squash any bit of doubt anyone has. Hell, I’m willing to get tested to prove that fucker wrong. “I just really needed you to be here with me.

“I know.”

[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 19: Purpose

You and Ellie wait for Joel to come back from patrol. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-18 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Light smut. Minor depiction of injury. Mild description of canon-typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 9.6k 

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

May, 2012 

“You’ve been acting weird this trip.” 

It was a nice night, the air warm but not so warm that it made a fire unpleasant. The sky was clear and it was like every star that had ever sprung into existence was overhead, sparkling for you and you alone. 

Mark had brought an unreasonably good haul with him this trip. Enough batteries that you’d be supplied for years at the rate you used flashlights, several packs of guitar strings, salt, sugar, several bottles of rum and vodka, thread and scrap fabric. His packs were laden with hard to find goods and you weren’t sure if you bought his excuse that the settlement he’d been living with had stumbled upon a really good stash and he felt like he should share the wealth. It seemed like there was something else going on.

“Don’t know what you mean,” he shrugged. “Actin’ how I usually do.” 

“Sure,” you scoffed, sipping on some rum that you’d mixed with the pressed apple juice you’d made earlier that day. “Because you always go back and forth between fuckin’ me stupid and staring off into the distance.” 

You had to admit, there were some perks to being some of the last people on the planet. Things like not needing to worry about being disturbed if you wanted to fuck outside by a bonfire on a gorgeous night. You were wearing nothing but a button down and panties, sitting on a blanket, the skin between your thighs slick with your combined release. Mark had pulled his jeans back on but hadn’t bothered buttoning or zipping them, his boots still sitting off to the side. You had a feeling he’d be naked again before too long, apparently going for a new record for how many times he could fuck you in the span of a week. 

“Seriously though,” you frowned a little, watching him closely, his brown eyes sparkling in the firelight. “Are you OK?” 

“Just…” he sighed heavily, leaning forward so his elbows were on his knees. “Going to miss you, is all.” 

“I’ll miss you, too,” you shrugged. “But there’s going to be some good shit to trade in about a month or so, think I’m going to get a really good round of greens this season…” 

“Can’t come back in a month,” he said, not looking at you, looking into the fire instead. You frowned. “I’m not sure when I can come back.” 

“What?” You frowned. “What do you mean? Why not? I don’t…” 

“Shit’s changing,” he said. “At the settlement. A lot of big changes. Don’t think I’m going to be able to get away for very long and…” 

“I can come to you,” you cut him off, heart clenching at the thought of losing the only regular human contact you had now. The thought of losing Mark. “I know you always come here but…” 

“Won’t work,” he shook his head. “Not with… there’s going to be too much going on, wouldn’t be the right time. And come on, you really going to act like you’re going to leave your animals to fend for themselves or leave your gardens unattended when you’ll need to be out harvesting damn near daily to stock up for winter? We both know better than that.” 

“How long do you think…” 

“Six months at least,” he cut you off. “Maybe a year.” 

“A year?” You gaped at him. “You can’t be serious, you’re really going to…” 

“I’m serious,” he finally looked at you, a pained look on his face. “Trust me, it’s not… This isn’t something that I want, OK? This is something that I have to do. It’s the right thing to do, the only right thing to do. But I’ll come back to you when I can. As soon as I can, I’ll come back.” 

You looked into the fire now, trying not to cry. These few weeks a year with him were sometimes the only thing that kept you sane. The only thing that kept the fragile link you had to your humanity intact. And he was leaving you. 

“Yeah, well,” you almost spat it. “Maybe I’ll just pick up and fuckin’ move in the mean time. Been getting bored out here anyway…” 

“If that’s really what you want,” you could feel his eyes on you. “But… I really hope you don’t. I would… I think losing you might kill me. Not knowing what happened to you? Not knowing if you were safe and happy? That would kill me. I love…” 

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” you snapped, whipping your head around to look at him. “You wouldn’t just walk away for a fuckin’ year if you gave a fuck. Don’t act like I’m anything more to you than…” 

“You don’t get to decide what you are to me,” he snapped back, voice heated, his hand finding your face, fingers gripping your skin so tight it almost hurt. “Just trust me when I tell you there ain’t much that would keep me away from you, alright? This isn’t what I fuckin’ want. But it’s what I have to do so I’m doing it. And I’m asking that you still be here when I’m able to come back to you because all I want to do is fucking come back to you! So please, let me!” 

His lips crashed into yours before you could respond and you kissed him back, wet and angry, all teeth and tears as he ripped your panties down and all but shoved himself inside you, not bothering to take off his jeans this time. He fucked into you hard and fast and desperate, like if he used enough force he’d somehow make you believe him, make sure you stayed. 

After, you lay side by side, facing each other just inches apart, his fingers trailing gently through your hair.

“What am I supposed to do without you?” You asked, voice thick.

“I’ll send people who pass through your way,” he said. “You should have enough of what you can’t hunt or grow yourself for a while but you trade plenty outside of me, anyway, and I’ll make sure I send enough to make up the difference…” 

“You know that’s not what I mean,” you cut him off. 

He smiled. 

“I’ll make sure they’re your type.” 

You rolled your eyes and shoved him lightly. He laughed a little and the two of you just looked at each other. You knew that, if he was telling you this now, after he’d already been here a few days, he was planning to go back soon. Maybe even the next day. Your heart ached - physically hurt - at the thought of him leaving, of losing him for so long. 

“This isn’t what I want,” he said softly, as though he were reading your mind. 

“Then don’t do it.” 

“I have to,” he said, his hand stilling, holding your face gently, as though you were something precious. “But I will come back to you. I promise. I’ll always keep coming back to you.” 

When you watched him ride away the next day, it was the last time you ever saw him. 

August, 2026

You’d never really been in this situation before. 

In all the years since the outbreak started, you’d never been the one stuck waiting for someone to come back from outside. You never knew for sure when Mark was coming back so you were never anxiously waiting for him to show up. The rest of the time, when someone was with you, you’d always been the one to go. You’d been the one who knew the area, been the one who was best equipped. At most, you’d go out together and be there when an infected attacked or some power hungry asshole took a shot at you. Hell, even a bear. It was the wilds of Wyoming, after all, it wasn’t only monsters of the human and inhuman kind you had to be concerned with, mother nature did her best to come out on top, too.  

But Joel being gone like this made you nervous. 

You weren’t sure if it was just because you weren’t used to him being gone, if you were just more comfortable having him close than anywhere else now, if there really was something wrong and you felt it somehow - even though that made no sense. 

Regardless of the reason, you were worried. It was hard to focus on anything. You couldn’t work with the horses that weren’t fully broke yet, they sensed it too easily and started trying to throw you. You found yourself just clenching your teeth a lot without truly realizing you were doing it, just suddenly aware that your jaw was sore before forcing yourself to relax. 

The second night Joel was gone, you were playing guitar at home and trying not to think about it. The closest thing you had to compare it to was the first few days Marisa was gone. When part of you thought she was going to change her mind and walk back in the door one evening as you sat by the firelight and grab you and kiss you and say she was back and she was going to stay. 

That never happened. 

But Joel was going to come back. That was the plan, that was always the plan and Jackson hadn’t lost someone on patrol in a while and you had no reason to be this nervous and distracted. Joel was going to walk into the stables and grab you and kiss you. And it was all going to be OK. 

There was a sharp little knock at your door, the knock Ellie made when she was second guessing that she should be there. You’d come to know it as the knock she made when she wanted to talk about something but was too afraid to really do it. You set the guitar down on the couch and jogged to the door, Ellie already knocking again, a little relieved that you’d have the excuse to not be sitting there alone. 

“About time,” Ellie rolled her eyes, pushing past you into the house. 

“Nice to see you too, Kid,” you smiled a little, closing and locking your door before trailing after her, drawing Joel’s shirt tighter to yourself as you did. “What’s on the brain? Dina troubles?” 

“You know, not everything is about a girl,” she flopped heavily on your loveseat, one leg dangling over the arm rest, the other planted on the floor. “There’s more to life than sex. Not that you would know. Gross.” 

You snorted. 

“So what’s going on?” You asked, grabbing your guitar and flopping on the couch. You gave it a strum. “Trying to figure out the meaning of life or something? You’ve got that look.” 

“Do not,” she rolled her eyes in the way that only teenaged girls were somehow so skilled at. 

“Do so,” you played a few more quick random chords. “C’mon. Share. Know you want to.” 

You kept strumming quietly, watching her tap her foot impatiently. You kept your mouth shut. If you waited her out, she’d talk. Ellie was a special kid but she was still a teenaged girl. She’d spill it eventually. 

You were right. 

She’d only been there, silent while you played really nothing at all, for a few minutes when she huffed and sat up in a flurry of messy hair and overly long shirt sleeves. 

You looked at her, brows raised. 

“I’m worried, OK?” She looked at you, her brown eyes big. They were wide and soft and open and, even though you knew she wasn’t related to Joel, her eyes reminded you so much of him in that moment. How he looked at you when you played guitar and he was close, how he looked when he told you things about himself that you weren’t sure anyone else knew. They were both usually so guarded, so terrified of being vulnerable, but they got the same look in their eyes when they let themselves be open. 

You stopped playing. 

“About what?” 

She gnawed on her lower lip for a second. 

“I’ve been thinking about what we talked about,” she said. “What you told me about what parents do for their kids… I never had parents. Like… ever. It’s not like I had some when I was little and they fucking died or something I just never had them. No one ever… I don’t know, loved me and shit. I never had it so I never really thought about what that would be like. But Joel… he loves me. Right?” 

“Yeah,” you smiled a little sadly at her. You wished you could go back in time and find the little girl who was Ellie all alone and love her then, love her the way she deserved to be. “He does. More than anything.” 

She nodded slowly, like she was processing it. 

“I guess I never understood what that would mean,” she said. “That it would mean someone would choose me over… well, over anything at all I guess but over the entire fucking world? It doesn’t feel right.” 

You shrugged. 

“Love is crazy like that,” you said. “Especially the kind Joel has for you.” 

She nodded again. 

“I still don’t know if I can forgive him,” she said slowly. “But I can try to understand him. I think I can understand him and see why he thought it was the right thing…” 

Her voice trailed off and she bounced her leg and picked at the seam of your couch cushion before she looked at you, her eyebrows drawn tightly together. 

“But what if I never get a chance to tell him that?” Her voice cracked a little and she swallowed hard. “What if something happens and the last thing I said to him… I was so fucking mean to him before he left, Bambi, I was so fucking mean and I…” 

“Hey,” you said gently, setting your guitar down and going to sit beside her. “It’s OK, Honey. It’s OK. Joel loves you, he would never hold it against you and, deep down, he knows you love him, too. But it’s all a moot point, he’s coming back and he’ll be fine. You’ll get a chance to talk to him and tell him how you’re feeling and it’ll be OK.” 

She nodded and pressed herself against you, her face against your shoulder. You tucked her below your chin and held her close. Ellie was such a force of a person, always so brash and strong, but she felt so small and fragile in your arms then, every inch the child she tried to pretend she wasn’t. 

“You had parents, right?” She sniffed, inching closer to you on the couch. You adjusted around her, her legs draped over yours. 

“I did,” you smiled a little into her hair. 

“Did you guys get along?” 

You laughed a little. 

“Not really,” you said. “I was a lot more like my dad than my mom but my dad was closer to my brothers. He was fine with me ranching as a hobby but didn’t want me to be a rancher, didn’t like me working with the horses as much as I did. My mom wanted me to be more like her and I just wasn’t. It caused a lot of friction. But…” You sighed and gave her a little squeeze. “We loved each other. Even when I was mad at them I knew they loved me and I loved them. That’s the point. It’s not always easy and that’s OK.” 

She just nodded into you. 

“Don’t know why I’m so worried,” she fidgeted with her hands but stayed pressed against you. “Not like he’s never left Jackson before. Fuck knows we faced worse shit than whatever he’s going to run into out there. I’ve just got this feeling…” 

You didn’t tell her that you did, too. You didn’t want to freak her out. You didn’t want to think about what it might mean that both of you felt off about it. 

“Want to stay over again?” You asked, hoping she’d say yes. You weren’t sure you wanted to be by yourself at that moment, either. “We can dance party.” 

“Yeah,” she laughed a little. “That’d be good.” 

You let Ellie pick the music before you raided the more modest VHS collection and put on Fargo. She passed out curled up next to you on the couch and you just watched her for a moment, her legs tucked up against her stomach, arms crossed over her chest. You understood why Joel would kill to protect her, why he’d choose her over the possibility of a cure. She wasn’t your daughter but it felt like she could be. You’d protect her like your daughter. She needed that, deserved that. 

You got up slowly from the couch so as to not disturb her and got a blanket from your hiding place bed, draping it over her. You curled up on the loveseat and fell asleep there, keeping her close, keeping her where you could keep her safe until Joel came home. 

Ellie was reluctant to go to school the next day and she showed up at the stable just a few minutes after classes ended for the day. 

“Here to draw Shimmer?” You asked, brows raised. 

“Duh,” she rolled her eyes. “Why else would I be here?” 

You smiled a little as you got the horse out of her stall and put her out in the paddock, Ellie perching on the fence with her sketch pad and pencil. You checked on her periodically, just glancing out to where she sat, catching her watching the entrance to the stables more than once. Waiting for Joel to come back. 

It wasn’t like you could blame her. You were watching for him, too. Especially once other patrol pairs started coming back. Julie and Thomas came back first, just before dinner. They said they hadn’t run into any trouble, not even any infected, so they weren’t surprised they were the first ones back. You busied yourself getting their horses settled as they headed to their respective homes to get cleaned up after spending three days on the road. It was only another hour before the next pair, Will and Beth, came back.There had been some trees down on their usual path, the aftermath of an early summer storm, they suspected, and it took time to figure out the best way through. 

“Want to go pick us up some dinner?” You asked Ellie as twilight was on the horizon, which meant it had to be nearing 8 p.m. Joel still wasn’t back. “I’ll hold down the fort?” 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Yeah, OK.” 

You watched her set out to the mess hall and, when she was out of sight, got in Renaissance’s stall. She gave you a questioning look, her ears turning on her head, her body still sweaty where she’d born a saddle and rider for three straight days. 

“Hey sweet girl,” you said gently, reaching out to scratch her chin. She pressed into your touch and you stepped closer to her, resting your forehead against her thick, warm neck and breathing deep, centering yourself. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous, I really don’t.” 

She huffed. 

“I know,” you said, giving her another scratch. There had always been something about horses that calmed you, something you were grateful you could rely on now. “I don’t know how to do this. How to be in a relationship like this. I’ve never done this. Maybe this is just what it’s like? But… He can’t end up like everyone else. He just can’t.” 

She nudged you gently with her large head and you stepped back from her. She lowered her head and pressed it against your chest, chuffing as she did. You scratched her neck. 

“I know,” you sighed. “I know.” 

Casey and Monica came back while Ellie was gone, the second to last group. Only Joel and Tommy were left outside. You tried not to think about that. Monica’s arm was bleeding and she was limping. 

“What happened?” You frowned as you took their horses from them. 

“Ran into fucking raiders on day two,” Casey said, taking her pack from the saddle of her horse. “Just a small crew, we caught them off guard so we handled them pretty easy but held us up a bit coming back. Mon sprained her ankle, couldn’t keep her foot in the stirrup too long, had to take a lot of breaks. We’re the last ones, right?” 

“No,” you said, chest tight. “No, Joel and Tommy are still out there.” 

Monica’s eyes went wide. 

“Joel and Tommy are still out?” She asked, incredulous. You nodded. “Shit. They’re usually the first back, handle their shit quick…” 

Your stomach turned. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Casey said, noticing the look on your face. “They went the same path as that summer storm, they’re probably just running into damage, making it hard to get through… It’s Joel and Tommy. I’m sure they’re fine.” 

“Right,” you said, giving her a tight smile. “You’re right.” 

Monica leaned on Casey and you watched the two of them head toward the clinic just as Ellie came back, frowning as she watched them go. 

“The fuck happened to them?” She asked, handing you a sandwich wrapped in paper and an apple. 

“Raiders,” you said, going to the spot you liked to plop down at when you were taking a break while working. Ellie trailed behind you. 

“Shit,” she said, her brows drawn tightly together. “You don’t think…” 

“I’m sure it’s fine,” you said, taking a bite of your sandwich. It tasted like sand in your mouth, making your stomach churn. “We don’t have any reason to worry. It’s fine.” 

You brushed down every horse in the stable, asked Ellie to tell you every pun she could remember, reorganized the tack even though you ended up not really changing anything because you ran a pretty tight ship to begin with. 

It was nearing midnight when Maria came to the stable, William looking groggy and half asleep on her hip. 

“Thought I might find you here,” she said. 

You shrugged. 

“Like it here.” 

She nodded slowly, looking between you and Ellie. 

“Alex at the gate is going to come get me as soon as they sight them,” she said, her grip on her son tightening a little as she said it. “Want to come wait at mine? It’s more comfortable than here.” 

The gate giving you a heads up would be faster than waiting at the stables. They’d see them coming. 

“Yeah,” you nodded quickly. “Yeah, let me run home and grab and change of clothes if it’s OK that I use your shower, I smell like horse…” 

“Course,” she smiled. “You too, Ellie?” 

“Yeah,” she jumped down from the stall door she’d been perched on. “Yeah, I’ll come. I don’t… Sounds shitty to just be by myself.” 

You literally ran to your house, grabbing a shirt that smelled like Joel and the coat, too, for good measure, as well as some clean jeans and some sweat pants before you ran to Maria’s.

You’d never been inside Maria’s house before but, in that moment, you didn’t care. The need to know that Joel was OK was stronger than your fear of being in a space you didn’t control. 

You took the fastest shower you ever remembered taking and settled in the living room next to Ellie, who immediately leaned against you, pressing her nose into Joel’s shirt. Maria sat, watching the front door, her foot bouncing impatiently off the rug in front of her. 

“Has this happened with them before?” You asked quietly after a minute. 

“No,” Maria shook her head. “But we haven’t lost anyone on patrol in a very long time. I’m sure they’re fine. They’re fine.” 

She nodded to herself and Ellie curled her legs into her chest. 

“Hey Kid,” you said after a minute. “Best guitar part. What is it?” 

Ellie sat up from you a little, frowning. 

“Is now really the time to talk about that?” She asked. 

You glanced at Maria, who figured out pretty quickly what you were doing. 

“I think so,” she said. “Curious to know your thoughts since Tommy’s taste is… questionable.” 

You snorted. 

“He asked me to play Freebird once,” you said. “So cliche.” 

Ellie rolled her eyes and thought for a second. 

“Maybe Crazy on You by Heart,” she said eventually. 

“Good choice,” you nodded. “Knew you’d pick up some good taste through proper education…” 

“OK my taste has always been good,” she said, sitting tucked into the corner of the couch now, her legs crossed in front of her instead of curled protectively in on herself. “You don’t get that much credit!” 

“Sure, sure,” you waved her off. 

“I just had limited access before,” she said. “Not my fault I was stuck with the music I could find in a fucking QZ man!” 

You huffed a laugh. 

“Seems like you had more options than I did…” 

“Yeah but you had horses and freedom and shit,” she said. “Fair trade.” 

You laughed at that. 

“Maybe so,” you said. 

“Got another question for you,” Maria said, not giving Ellie a chance to respond. “What’s the best pun? Seems like you’re the expert so…” 

“That is so subjective though!” Ellie replied, her eyes getting wide. “You can’t ask me to pick just one…” 

You and Maria took turns trying to distract her until she started falling asleep sitting up. Ellie eventually slumped over, her head going in your lap. You trailed your fingers through her hair and you felt her doze off, her breathing going into the steady, gentle rhythm of sleep. 

Maria watched you, her arms crossed over her chest, her jaw clenched. 

“You OK?” You asked quietly. 

“No,” she said, voice so soft you had a hard time hearing her. “And I won’t be until he’s back.” 

You laughed once, quietly, darkly. 

“Stupid question, I guess.” 

She laughed the same way back. 

“It feels like I got cocky,” she sighed. “Like I was feeling too comfortable here, like I forgot how bad the world has become. Life here was too good for too long. Too much like what it was like before. Guess the apocalypse decided it needed to remind me of who was in charge.” 

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. “I know it’s not the same, Joel isn’t to me what Tommy is to you but… I feel about the same. Like I was getting to close to living with people again and something had to remind me that there’s risk with that.” 

“The world fucking sucks sometimes,” Maria said. 

You smiled tightly. 

“Yeah,” you said. “Yeah, it does.” 

You weren’t sure what time it was when you ended up dozing off, too, your head lulled over on the couch cushion, hand still on Ellie’s hair. That’s where you were when there was a loud knock on the door, jerking you out of your shallow sleep. 

“Wha?” Ellie sat up, groggy, as Maria fumbled for the door, almost tripping over her own feet to get there. You all but jumped off the couch once Ellie was off your lap and the three of you were clustered around the door when Maria yanked it open, breathless. Alex, a younger man who often kept watch at the gate was standing there, panting. 

“They’re back.” 

***

He couldn’t die. 

Not out here. Not like this. 

Not when it would also get his brother killed. 

Not when he hadn’t fixed things with Ellie, when she still hated him, when she didn’t fully understand what she meant to him. 

Not when he’d never told you how he felt about you. Not when he’d never said that he loved you, not when he’d never told any woman that he loved her.

Not out here. Not now. Not like this. 

It was all Joel could think as he and Tommy fought off the small band of raiders who’d come out, guns blazing. 

The fact that they survived was luck. 

Luck that they knew the area better than the fools who attacked them, that they had an idea of where to go to seek cover or how to cut around and attack from another position. Luck that these idiots were young - hardly more than boys, really, probably lured in with the promise of food and shelter and sex from whoever they could take - and were hardly sharp shooters. Luck that, while they’d been caught off guard, they’d been patrolling long enough that they knew how to react fast and react well. 

Luck that, the shots that did land, weren’t critical. 

But they were enough to slow them down. Joel had been shot in the thigh, Tommy the arm and it was a battle between trying to move fast enough to get back to Jackson before blood loss caught up with them while controlling their mounts and stopping often enough to change the emergency dressings on their wounds as they bled. 

The thought of you kept him moving. Your eyes, your smile, your voice as you sang while he played guitar. The way you trusted him enough to let him be close to you, the way you cared for the horses, the way you loved Ellie. He was going to make it back to you. If it was the last thing he ever did, he was making it home to you. 

Joel wasn’t sure what time it was when they rode up to the main gate, hardly able to stay sitting up on the back of his horse. 

“Jesus Christ, Joel!” Patrick, one of the men who was guarding the main gate, rushed forward and caught him as he all but fell off his horse. “What the fuck happened?” 

“Raiders,” he said, breathless from the pain and effort of staying on the back of his mount when he was this injured. 

“Ran into a band of ‘em about a day and a half out,” Tommy said, voice strained from pain. “Right near the turn around point.” 

Carter, another guard, got to Tommy, who waved him off. 

“I’m fine,” he said. “Just get the horses to the stables, I gotta get my brother to the clinic…” 

“Can you help him?” Patrick asked, shoulder in Joel’s armpit as he helped him stay on his feet. “I can run ahead to the clinic that way…” 

“I got it,” Alex yelled from atop the wall. “I’ll get the doc up!” 

Dr. Palmer was bleary eyed but awake when Joel and Tommy made it to the clinic. 

“Shit,” she swore, looking at the two of them. “Alright, let’s get the two of you settled and then I’ll assess…” 

She put Tommy in one makeshift exam room and Joel in the other and, for the first time since the attack began a day and a half before, Joel felt like he could breathe. 

He’d made it back. Tommy was alive and he’d made it back to you and Ellie. 

“Joel!” 

It was as though his thoughts had summoned his would be daughter, her small body hurtling at him after she burst through the door. She slammed into him and he caught her as she clung to him, crying into his chest. 

“Hey, Baby Girl,” he said, arms going around her and holding her close. There was the faint smell of hay on her hair, a smell that made him smile. For a moment, he wondered if he’d actually made it back. If, maybe, he was dreaming. If Ellie being happy to see him was a final gift from his dying mind as he bled out in the forest. “You’re OK, I’ve got you, you’re OK…” 

“I know I’m OK,” she pulled back from him with a sniffle. “It’s you we’ve been worried about, you dick!” 

“Joel.” 

Your voice was so quiet, he barely heard it but, the next thing he knew, you were against him. He hadn’t really been able to get a proper look at you, nothing but a blur of hair and one of his plaid shirts as you ran for him. Your arms went around his neck and your body pressed against him and Joel felt you take a deep, shuddering breath as he clutched you close. 

Ellie must not have talked to you, you weren’t disgusted by him, still wanted to be near him. His lips brushed your cheek.

“I was so afraid,” your voice was quiet and thick and he held you somehow tighter, your body between his legs. He ignored the pulling, throbbing pain at his thigh. It didn’t matter. Not when it meant having you close. 

“I’m sorry, Sweetheart,” he said softly. You were so warm and soft and fuck, he loved you. “Didn’t mean to worry you…” 

You stepped back and tried your eyes on the sleeves of the shirt he’d given you. You put your arm around Ellie and tugged her against your side as she tried to pretend like she hadn’t just been crying, too. You looked him up and down, your eyes ranging over him, frowning when you noticed the blood at his thigh.

“I’ll be fine…” he began, but you cut him off. 

“Someone shot you,” your eyes were all wide and doe-like, looking from his thigh to his face and back again. You reached for the injury before you seemed to think better of it, instead putting your hand on his knee. 

“Ran into some raiders,” Joel said, keeping his voice calm. “We took care of ‘em, but they got some hits in. We’re alright.” 

You swallowed hard and nodded as Dr. Palmer came back in, looking surprised to see you and Ellie there. 

“I’ll need you two to wait outside,” she said. “These rooms are tight enough, I need some space to work.” 

“But…” Ellie protested but she interrupted. 

“I’ll take good care of him,” she smiled a little. “Promise. It’s OK.” 

“C’mon Kid,” you kept your eyes on Joel as you started steering Ellie toward the door. “We’ll stick close, it’s OK.” 

He watched you go until you closed the door behind you, eyes lingering where you’d been, like touching the space you’d occupied with his sight would keep you there longer. 

“Let’s get you fixed up,” the doctor smiled, pulling a seat up alongside him. “Get you home with your girls as quick as we can.” 

Joel felt like he should argue the classification for a moment. That you and Ellie were his in any way, that he’d ever be worthy of being something to either of you after everything he had done, all that he had wrought. 

But he wanted you and Ellie to be his, wanted to live in a moment where that was true. Exist in a space that you were his woman - his to come home to, his to look after, his to love - and Ellie was his daughter, a girl he loved and looked after and guided through life alongside you. 

“How’s Tommy?” Joel asked after a minute as she cut the denim away from the injury on his leg and started cleaning the wound. 

“Better off than you,” she said, sounding a little distracted. 

“Good,” Joel said, nodding slowly. “S’my fault. Got distracted. Should be me paying for it.” 

“Seems like it’s the raiders’ fault,” she said absently. “It looks like the bullet is in a good spot so I’m going to try to pull it out and get things all bandaged up. It’s going to hurt…” 

“It’s fine,” Joel said, gripping the edge of the table, looking at the door. You were close. He just had to get through this and then he’d get to be with you and Ellie. “Had worse.” 

She nodded and set to work, Joel gritting his teeth through the pain as Dr. Palmer rooted around in his leg. He was right, he’d had worse, but it still hurt like hell. But he didn’t want to freak out you or Ellie, he’d rather the two of you think that everything happening in this room was calm and painless as the doctor pulled the bullet free. She held it up in the small tongs so he could see, the metal shiny with blood. 

“Sure is a little thing to have caused so much trouble,” she said, turning it in the light for a moment before dropping it on a small tray with a resounding clatter. “Let me make sure you don’t have any damage beyond the obvious and then I’ll get you cleaned and bandaged up.” 

Joel just nodded, still watching the door as she worked. 

“You know,” she said after a while. “I’m glad to see that you and Ellie seem to be patching things up…” 

“That’s a… new development,” Joel said. “Hopin’ it sticks.” 

She nodded slowly. 

“Also glad to see that you’ve found someone here besides your brother,” she said, adjusting Joel’s leg so she could wrap the wound. He frowned and she seemed to sense it. “You’ve done a lot for this community, Joel, but you have a tendency to keep to yourself. Which is fine, of course, so long as you’re happy that way. But you deserve more if you want it. Nice to see you have that for a change.” 

She sat back and looked at his leg, giving it a nod. 

“Come back in a few days,” she said. “Me or Carol will take a second look at it, make sure it’s healing well. Take it easy in the mean time, you lost a lot of blood. Let someone take care of you for a change, OK?” 

Joel laughed a little. 

“Yes ma’am.” 

She opened the door and you and Ellie both jumped up from the couch. But you stayed put for a moment as Dr. Palmer left, Ellie closing the door behind her so it was just the two of them. 

“Hey Kiddo,” he smiled a little. “Sure is good to see ya.” 

“Good to see you, too, old man,” she smiled a little in return, her back pressed against the door. “Can I talk to you for a second? I know you’re probably tired and shit but…” 

“Course,” Joel frowned. “What’s on your mind?” 

She pushed off the door and shoved her hands in her pockets as she stepped closer to the exam table, watching her feet for a moment. 

“I, um…” she trailed off before taking a deep breath and looking him in the eye. “I talked to Bambi. I told her everything. The real reason you brought me west, what happened in the hospital… all of it.” 

Joel’s heart clenched but he nodded slowly. Christ, what you must think of him now. He had to explain it to you, he could explain it to you, make you understand why, he could.  

“That’s OK Baby Girl,” he said. “Not fair of me to ask you to hid things from people you care about and… I still think you need to keep why I brought you here a secret but she’s safe. She’ll protect you.” 

“I know,” she nodded. “But… She said some shit to me about it and it made me think and… I don’t know that I’ll ever think you did the right thing in that hospital, Joel. But… I guess she made me think about it differently. And I can try to understand it, what you did. I want to understand it, I want to be able to have a relationship with you again. I don’t want to be pissed at you forever…” she took a deep breath and looked at her feet for a moment before looking back at him again, tears shining in her eyes. “I’ve missed you. And it scared the shit out of me, thinking that you might not come back and the last thing I ever said to you was something so fucking shitty and I’m sorry I said it and…” 

“Baby Girl,” Joel said gently, trying not to cry himself, his chest tight. “Come here.” 

Ellie nodded, her jaw set, and she pressed her face into his shoulder, her arms going around his waist. He held her close. She felt so small against him. As strong as she was, as tough as she acted, she was still just a girl. His little girl, the same little girl he’d fought to protect, the same little girl he’d brought across the country, the same little girl who had become his reason for existing. 

“It’s OK,” he said gently. She nodded into his chest. “I’ve got you Baby Girl. I’ve got you.”  

He held her for a moment, until her breathing slowed to a more normal rate and her tears slowed. She pulled back from him, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. 

“I don’t know what I’m ready for yet,” she said, shoving her hands in her back pockets. “I don’t think… I don’t think I can just go back to how it was before Salt Lake City. But maybe you, me and Bambi can have dinner or something.” 

“Whatever you want, Kiddo,” he smiled. “I’ll take whatever you want to give me.” 

She nodded and sniffed, looking a little calmer now. 

“I’m going to head home,” she said. “But… I’ll come by tomorrow and see how you’re doing. If that’s OK.” 

“Course,” he nodded. “I can’t wait. I love you so much, Baby Girl. I really, really do.” 

She smiled a little. 

“I know,” she said. “Or, well… I think I’m starting to. I’m… I’m glad you’re going to be OK, Joel.” 

She leaned in slowly and gave him a soft peck on the cheek before hugging him one more time. 

He watched her go, you right there when she opened the door, giving her shoulder a squeeze as she passed and you closed the door behind her. 

“I could have sworn I told you to come back in one piece,” you smiled a little, arms crossed as you closed the distance between the two of you. 

He laughed, smoothing his hand over your hair, gently holding the base of your skull in his large palm. His leg suddenly hurt much less. 

“You did,” he said, tilting your head just so, kissing you softly. “Tried to listen but…” 

“Think you can make it home?” You asked. 

“Might need to take it slow,” he said. “But I’m not sleepin’ somewhere you aren’t for any longer than I have to.” 

He leaned on you for the short walk to his house, the trip easily taking three times longer than usual. Neither of you spoke, Joel focused on breathing through the pain and the effort it took to move, and he was relieved to make it in the front door. 

“If you tell me where sheets are, I can fix up the couch…” 

“Baby,” Joel cut you off. “I’m makin’ it up those stairs. Told you, I’m not sleeping somewhere you aren’t and that means we are in the same damn bed.” 

“Joel…” 

“Rode a day and a half with a damn bullet in my leg,” he said. “Can handle some stairs.” 

You just smiled a little and shook your head but helped him up to the bedroom, too. 

“See?” He said, panting for breath as he sat heavily on the edge of the bed. “Told you, I’m fine.” 

“How about I get you some water and something to eat before you pass out,” you shook your head a little, leaving him alone for a moment before coming back with a tall glass of water and a pear. 

“Here,” you held it out. “Start with this. I’m going run you a bath…” 

“Really don’t need you to take care of me, Baby.” 

You leveled him with a glare. He laughed a little. 

“I’ll do whatever you want me to, Sweetheart.” 

Joel drank the water and ate the pear before making his way to the bathroom. 

“What are you doing!” Your eyes went wide when he leaned against the door frame. 

“I can walk down the hall on my own, sweetheart,” he half smiled at you and you turned off the water to the tub before going to him, unbuttoning his shirt, your fingers brushing his skin. He traced the outline of your face, your skin soft below his callused touch. “Baby. I’m OK.” 

“Scared the shit out of me,” you muttered, sliding his shirt off of him and draping it over his arm. You lowered the toilet seat and pointed him there and he tried to not smile too big as he obeyed. He’d never seen you be a caretaker before, at least to anything besides the horses. It was almost reassuring, seeing your reaction to his coming back. Like it was confirmation that you felt for him the way he felt for you. Like maybe what Ellie had said hadn’t horrified you. 

You helped him out of his jeans and underwear, carefully pulling the fabric over his injured leg before helping him in the tub. 

“Leave the hurt leg outside the bath,” you said, helping him sit down, one leg in the water, one leg on the tile floor. “Something tells me that’s not supposed to get wet.”  

“Think you’re right,” he replied as he settled into the water. You sat on the ground next to him, rolling up the sleeves of your shirt and grabbing his washcloth and the soap. “Baby…” 

“Hush,” you replied, wetting the cloth and covering it in soap before running it over his skin slowly, methodically. Joel watched you, watched your brows drawn together in concentration, finding every inch of him, the tender pressure of your touch as you washed away the sweat and the dirt and the blood. When you brought the cloth back to his already cleaned chest, he gently caught your wrist and your eyes flew to his, all wide and deep with tears at the edges. He brushed his thumb over the delicate structure of your veins, feeling the thrum of your heart through your blood. 

“Baby,” he said softly. “I’m OK.” 

“Joel,” your voice broke and you all but collapsed against him, your head going to his chest, your body pressed against the cool porcelain of the tub. He wrapped his arms around you as best he could without pulling you into the water with him. Your wracking, choking sobs made his heart ache and he pressed a long kiss into the crown of your head, breathing in the smell of you as he did. “I was so scared, I had a bad feeling and I just… I can’t lose you, too, please don’t make me lose you, I can’t…” 

“Not goin’ anywhere, Sweetheart,” he said, holding you. “Always gonna come back to you, can’t stop me.” 

You laughed wetly against him, your breaths evening out and calming down. After another minute you sat back, dabbing your eyes with the back of your wrist. 

“Sorry,” you sniffed, shaking your head a bit. “Probably think I’m crazy, acting like this…” 

“You and Ellie were all I could think about out there,” he said softly. “Kept thinking I had to get back, had to fix things with her. Couldn’t die with her hating me that much. And I had to… I had to tell you that I love you. Couldn’t let some raider fucks take me out without you knowin’ that.”

“Joel,” you breathed, the washcloth slipping from your hand and into the water. You damn near climbed in the tub with him, kissing him desperately, your wet fingers knotting in his hair. He held you close, the water from his skin soaking into your shirt but you didn’t seem to care. You eventually separated from him, panting for breath, his hands still on you. Your eyes searched his, your nose brushing against his own as you breathed, your hand moving to his face, your thumb tracing his cheekbone. He could feel the callus on your skin, the ones from riding and playing standing out in contrast to the softness of the rest of you. “Joel, I love you, too. So much it scares me, I’ve never loved anyone I haven’t lost and I can’t lose you, Joel. I can’t.” 

He tugged you closer, so his forehead was on yours, closing his eyes for a moment. 

“I know, Sweetheart,” he said softly. “Can’t lose you, either.” 

He kissed you, gently at first, but it grew needy and desperate before too long, your hands ranging over his naked, wet skin, slipping below the water before wrapping your fingers around his now hardening cock. 

“Baby,” he whispered in half-hearted protest. 

“Am I hurting you?” You sat back from him enough to look over his face, frowning. 

“No,” he said and you brushed your thumb over his slit, making him moan. “Just… don’t know that I’ll be able to properly return the favor.” 

You smiled a little and shook your head, kissing him again, your hand starting to work him up and down. 

“Let me do this for you,” you said softly before pressing your lips to his again. “Don’t worry about me. I want to take care of you, make you feel good.” 

He moaned into your mouth as you stroked him, your hand so much smaller and softer than his own, your lips sweet against his. He wanted to swallow the taste and feel of you, pull you into himself where he could keep you with him, make you a part of him so he’d never have to be without you again. He involuntarily thrust up against your hand and he felt you smile as you kissed him, your tongue slipping between his lips to find his own. 

You worked him harder, faster, kissing him more forcefully, pressing the parts of you that could reach him tighter and tighter to him. When he came, his whole body got tight and needy with the heady pleasure of it, his come spilling into the water as your hand slowed. 

“Fuck, Baby,” he managed, slumping down in the tub, your hand still on his now softening cock. 

You smiled and pressed one last soft kiss to his lips. 

“C’mon,” you said, getting up and drying your hands before pulling the towel from the rack. “Let’s get you to bed. Sun’s going to be up soon, we need some sleep.” 

Once you pulled him to his feet, he put the towel around his waist and you helped him down the hall again and to the bed. Joel didn’t bother with pajamas, just climbing in naked, watching you as you undressed, eyes ranging over your every curve, longing to touch every inch of your smooth skin. 

“Sure I won’t hurt you?” You asked, frozen with the blanket in your hand as you were about to climb in bed. 

“You won’t,” Joel said. “And I need to be next to you. Leg can deal with it.” 

You smiled a little and shook your head but climbed into bed anyway, turning out the light on your way. You tried to keep your distance at first, not melting against him the way you usually did when you got into bed, but Joel pulled you to him anyway and he felt the familiar contours of you relax into him when he did. He put his arms around you, holding you to him. This was where you belonged. Here, like this, where he could feel you and know you were safe. 

After a few minutes of silence beside you, he took a deep breath and brought up the thing that had him so distracted when on patrol to begin with. 

“Ellie talked to you,” he said softly, not really asking it. He knew the answer was yes. 

You were quiet for a moment. 

“She did.” 

He held you tighter. 

“You’re still here,” he said. 

“I am,” you said. 

He kissed the top of your head and you pressed yourself closer. 

“Ellie said you made her think about it differently,” he said slowly. “Can… Can I ask what you said? How you’re feelin’?” 

You took a deep, shaky breath. 

“I told her that you did what any parent would do,” you said, your voice soft, cracking ever so slightly. “I told her that, in that scenario, you never really had a choice. That isn’t a choice. Of course you’d save your child. There isn’t a world to save without her in it. I asked her if she’d have let the Fireflies kill William. If she’d have let them kill you. She seemed… I don’t think she understands it yet. I’m not sure she really can, at her age. But I think she will. And I think you did the right thing, Joel. I’d have done the same thing you did.” 

Joel nodded and took a deep breath of his own, pressing his lips to your forehead. 

“I…” his voice broke and he took a second to center himself. He needed to make sure you understood. He needed you to know this part of him, too. “I had a daughter. Before. Before Ellie, before the outbreak, I had a daughter…” 

“Joel,” you whispered, your fingers finding his hair, brushing through it soothingly. He gave you a squeeze. 

“Her name was Sarah,” the tightness in his chest felt like it might crush him but he kept going. “She was… she was amazing. Best thing that ever happened to me, just the best fuckin’ kid. She was so damn smart, so sweet - still not sure where the fuck she got that from - and so funny. Her mom left us both when she was a baby so it was just the two of us but I liked it that way, just me n’her. She was mine, she was all I needed. She made life worth living. But… In the outbreak…” 

He blinked back tears. 

“Don’t matter how it happened, I guess,” he said after a moment. “All that matters is I didn’t protect her as well as I should have and she died in my arms and it damn near killed me. In a lot of ways, it did. Kept wishing it had been me instead of her or, at the very least, that it would have taken me, too, so I wasn’t stuck tryin’ to live without her. Being without her was… it was the worst kind of hell. I went numb to everything, fuckin’ everything. Sometimes wondered if I was alive at all, didn’t seem like I was. Didn’t have a reason to be. And that’s what life was until Ellie. And that girl, that smart ass little girl… She’s the first thing that made me feel like there was still life to be had after Sarah. 

“I wasn’t supposed to love ‘er. Pretty sure that’s why the damn Fireflies asked me to take her to begin with, didn’t think I could get attached to anything. Figured I’d be fine handing her over to die, long as they paid me well. When they told me what would happen to her, what they needed, I… I couldn’t do it, Baby. I couldn’t let ‘em hurt her, kill her. Don’t give a shit about some theoretical fuckin’ cure - wouldn’t give a shit if it was a sure thing, either - if it meant she wasn’t going to live go see it. World’s not worth it without her. I couldn’t survive losing her. I couldn’t. I couldn’t fail her, too, I had to protect her. So that’s what I did. I saved her. And… and I lied to her about it. Knew she’d hate herself for it, she carried a lot of weight on her shoulders because of her immunity - she acted like it was her whole purpose, saving the fuckin’ world - and I couldn’t put that on her, too. But she learned the truth and I don’t blame her for hating me for it. Still… I don’t regret it. Never have, not for a single goddamn second. Don’t care how much she hates me as long as she’s alive to do it. That’s all that matters. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe. It’s worth it. Always will be.” 

Your fingers stilled in his hair, tangling in it at the back of his head and you pulled him toward you, your lips meeting his, so soft against him. He just kissed you for a minute, concentrating on the feeling of your skin on him, the feeling of you in his arms. He could feel tears on your cheek.

“I’m so sorry, Joel,” you said quietly, pulling away from him, your voice thick and wet. “I’m so sorry you had to live through everything you have, that you had to survive without your child… But I’m so happy it didn’t take you, too. I’m so happy you made it here, that you found me and I found you and… I love you, Joel.” 

He pulled you impossibly closer, his fingers sinking into the softness of your skin as he clutched you tight. 

“I am, too, now,” he said. “Her… her and you. Makes sense now, why I lived. Needed to find the two of you. Got everything I need with the two of you.” 

Dawn was edging into the horizon when you fell asleep in his arms and he just watched you breathe in the hazy light of the early morning. He watched you like that for a long time, until exhaustion took hold and he couldn’t anymore and he fell asleep wrapped up in you, bathed in the light of day.

Next Chapter

A/N: Thank y'all so so much for being patient with this chapter! I've had an absolutely insanely busy few weeks. I'll probably be posting a bit less frequently for a week or so yet but expect this to be updated at least once a week in the mean time. I really appreciate you being willing to wait for the next chapters. Please know that I'd much rather be writing this than working, believe me!

I'm going to be doing a bit of a review of the story map for this part of the fic this weekend and I should have an angsticipation timeline update for those curious very very soon!

I do have a an updates blog for those who want to be alerted when I publish. Just follow and subscribe here.

Thank you for being here and for reading my work and hanging out in this corner of the internet. I love it here because you're here.

Love you!!

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[doodle-girl]

The Monsters of Eastridge: DOAI Playlist

Description: At this point, might as well make a playlist for everything. Welcome to my own personal demon-filled hell, this is mostly based on lyrics, vibes, or both 🎃 (Edit: Due to recent fixations, this now also includes some Sitcom AU stuff.)

(Yeah this is made mostly for @spookmuth but also just anyone else who’s interested in my music taste/how my thoughts work. Will update the post whenever the playlist updates, have fun! Also footnotes will be in brackets because I like footnotes)

Edit: Now on spotify! Courtesy of @witheredallium <3

“Happy Face” by Jagwar Twin [I have had an animatic for this jangling around my brain for actual several months oh my god]

“Turn the Lights Off” by Tally Hall

“A1 - It’s just a burning memory” by The Caretaker [Yeah idk how well this actually fits since it’s based on a song from like. The 30s. But I think it’s obligatory for any analog horror ever lol]

"I Can't Decide" by The Scissor Sisters [This one I got inspo from havoc-bloom's playlist/clip of Pastra finding it. A few of these are, actually, lol] [Edit: I have now realized just how well this fits Clyde in the sitcom au and I am once again plagued by art ideas 👀]

"I'M Sane" by Axie [Me when I torture the innocent with horrid monsters and become one myself. but I'm a little silly about it teehee~ 😜]

"The Circus" by Toby Fox [This popped up on shuffle when I was drawing Clyde once and my brain refused to let go of the vibes™ ever since]

"Animal Cannibal (Possibly in Michigan)" by Buckshot Princess [I would've put the one by Karen Skladany but it's not on apple music 😔 sad. This cover's really nice tho]

"The Dismemberment Song" by Blue Kid [Same reasoning as "I'M Sane," nyehehe. Also this song really feels like it's ripped out of a musical number. If you told me it was I'd believe you.]

"The Mind Electric" by Miracle Musical

"Horror Show" by K-Modo [You ever just. Think about why Lankmann does the things he did? Like what's his game here?]

"Dance of Corpse (feat. Hatsune Miku)" by Kikuo [this might also spiral into an animatic lol. Anyway do me a solid and go look up the music video, turn on the official english subtitles and come back to me.]

"The Nowhere King" by The Centaurworld Cast

"Nothing Changes" by Jewelle Blackman, Yvette Gonzalez-Nacer, and Kay Trinidad [this musical makes me feel. so many things. And I just think the vibes/lyrics of "why try when you'll only end in misery" might fall into the category of vibes here idk idk]

"Murders" by Miracle Musical

"Kitchen Fork" by Jack Conte [I don't remember exactly why I put this here rn but I just know this is an Alex song. It's so beautifully haunting and passionate stg] [Edit: yeah definitely an Alex song]

"Meet Me in the Woods" by Lord Huron ['kay I know the vibes are probably off but look at the lyrics and tell me it shouldn't go here]

"A Crow's Trial" by Vane Lily [Look man I can’t explain this one exactly but just trust me on it]

"You're F****d" by Ylvis [Yeah I put this one here as a joke song. Every single character in here is SO doomed by the narrative, I'm sorry Alex but it's true. teehee~]

"UNCANNY / ft. KAFU" by kian [I actually couldn't find this one on apple music but galactinqq was right about this being an Alex song and I'm putting it on the post]

"Raising the Dead!" by Jessica Law [Styx, you madlad, this is SUCH a Lankmann song oh my god]

“Hymn for a Scarecrow” by Tally Hall [“Simon isn’t even in the series yet, though” My guy it’s called Hymn for a Scarecrow and it’s Tally Hall what else do you want me to do. I love Simon so much I miss him already <3]

“Break My Mind” by DAGames

“In the Mood” by Glenn Miller [this one was in Vol 1! So I found it and I’m putting it here <3]

“Pictures” by Kyle Allen Music [I mean technically the series is videos but whatever. This song fits sue me]

“Ruler of Everything” by Tally Hall [I saw the words “mechanical hands” on a DOAI fanart once and it jumpstarted an idea that refuses to leave me. Turns out it fits VERY well holy crap]

"I'll Be There for You (Theme from Friends)" by The Rembrandts [shoutout to froggydrawz's own sitcom AU playlist for more material for me eheheheh ✌️ I'll be putting a few of those here]

"I'm Still Standing" by Taron Egerton [sitcom exclusive because canon Alex is fucking dead /lh]

"Digital Silence" by Peter McPoland

"How Far We've Come" by Matchbox Twenty [another sitcom one nyehehehe. This AU has me by a chokehold unlike any other AU I've been into istg]

"Who is She (Reprise)" by Kimiko Glenn [I apologize for those who came here for a normie-ass DOAI playlist, I promise it started out that way but y'know that's fixations for ya. Anyways I added this one on a whim because it gave off veldigun!Alex AU vibes. Might fit with other stuff idk do with that what you will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯]

"Soft Bitch" by Rio Romeo [pretty sure it was spookmuth that made a sitcom AU art inspired by this song and I love it]

"Runaway" by AURORA [secret-spirit if you see this at all just know this was your doing (/pos). This is like, my favorite AURORA song and seeing you do an Alex art in the whiteboard to this song sparked a primal "holy shit" moment in me]

"Lose Control" by Teddy Swims [I was doodling in the DOAI whiteboard when my mamá started playing this in the other room and my brain immediately went "oh my god what if Clyde and Winfrey"]

"Soft Apocalypse" by Charming Disaster [Once again, everybody give it up for Styx's music taste, this is making my brainworms go mad with art ideas 👏👏👏 sitcom AU song, btw]

Side note, might hit a word limit here? So Imma have to continue this list in a reblog, just look through those for more if ya want✌️

[rishiguro]

55; “I’M NOT LETTING YOU DO THIS ALONE”

“well, this seems alright,” you mumbled to yourself after sitting down on the bed in what now would be your room.

the room was about as big as the one in the hospital’s palliative ward, with beige and one brown colored wall and a few pieces of furniture. it even had a big window and a small balcony to stand on.

“not too bad, huh?,” aran said, putting down your luggage.

he turned to the door, exchanging a few words with the black haired nurse that had greeted you — and as you were told, was also the one who would tend to you. the man informed your best friend of the next steps, his eyes often wandering to you before leaving the two of you to settle in for the next minutes.

you nodded along absentmindedly, not really paying attention to your best friend.

clenching your jaw for a short moment, you looked down at your hands, both placed in your lap, fingers twiddling.

“hey” the mattress dipped beside you as aran sat down. “it’ll be okay,” he said slowly, carefully, after waiting a couple seconds to figure out what to actually say.

you cracked a weak smile, still not looking at him.

a part of you wanted to agree with him, even if you weren’t even sure what ‘it’ actually meant. after all, it couldn’t get much worse than that, could it?

you knew that this must be hard on him too — aran has been your best friend for practically your entire life, obviously he’d be devastated too. and as his best friend your first instinct was to comfort him too, just like he tried with you.

but you couldn’t. what would you even say?

‘it’ll get better’ — that sounded stupid.

‘i’m sure it’ll work out’ — yeah, as if.

‘i’ll be healthy again’ — as if you were ever healthy to begin with.

as if you ever had the same chance at a long life as him, iwaizumi or any of your friends.

but you knew that, didn’t you? ending up here was inevitable, wasn’t it? so why were you so beat up over it?

although, a little more time would’ve been all you needed. a warning, a message, a hint, anything for you to know just how fast you would end up here and how quickly your illness caught up with you.

something to help you come to terms with it. something to prepare you.

and also something to prepare the ones closest to you.

you could still feel aran’s eyes on you, waiting, but not pressuring you to reply. so after a while, your mind still wiped clean of any words you once knew, you could only bring yourself to shrug.

“this is… odd,” you finally said, “i don’t really know what to feel”

“i know,” aran replied slowly, letting out a breathy laugh before he went on. “at least we know you’re still sane”

throwing a quick glance at him, you shook your head, not being able to stop your mouth from curling up. “i guess so”

after a few more moments of silence, aran reached out, putting his hand on yours. “listen, you’re not on your own, okay? i’m not letting you do this alone”

you looked at his hand, fondly remembering how this was something the two of you had done ever since you were little. it was a simple gesture, small and almost insignificant, but to you it meant unconditional support, friendship and trust.

“we’re not letting you do this alone,” he continued, “you got all of us and we’re here for you”

aran could sigh relieved as you finally lifted your head up, directly looking at him. your eyes were teary and your lips were dry and trembling slightly as you nodded weakly.

he immediately pulled you close to him, wrapping his arms around you and engulfing you in a warm hug. “we got you,” he whispered, “i promise”

evanescent

/ɛvəˈnɛs(ə)nt,iːvəˈnɛs(ə)nt/ — “soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.”

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[legendofmorons]

Rank the Links from most compatible to u to least and y? Not who ur favorite is or whatever but like relationship compatibility. I’m sad bc I love Wild and ik him the best but we’d be pretty incompatible. He loves nature and adventuring and rather chaotic. I don’t like physical activities and I like more calm down to earth people.

Most to least compatible with me

This took a while to figure out, some like Legend and Wind I knew immediately, but for others like Warriors and Four, I had to really think about it.

Eventually, I think I'd be good with all the links, but I think I'd get so with some better/ faster than others. Content under the cut

Legend -

most compatible off the bat. He's a grumpy jerk at first but hot damn do I vibe.

I'm stubborn, happen to think I'm funny, and sarcastic. Obviously I care about people and spread kindness but I enjoy sarcasm.

I think he's funny, and I think he'd find me funny too

I know we'd get along several of my friends have similar personalities

I appreciate his honesty

Twilight -

I hear his accent and am home.

We understand eachother, he's hardworking and loyal, I am loyal and always looking out for loved ones. We both love kids, we both love animals, we both are tired of the red neck jokes.

At heart we have similar values and would get along well

Time

Time seems a little stand off-ish at first, not rude just- reserved

That's fine, though. I don’t mind reserved.

We'd bond over trying to keep the others alive and sane.

Wild

My little gremlin best friend

We both enjoy cooking and have a general lack of regard for our safety

Not to mention the love of outdoors and creatures

Wild would help me find and raise a snake

Warriors

He's a charmer but I feel awkward if I pick up on flirting.

I think we'd get this sorted out sooner than later. He respects women and I appreciate honest people who do the right thing.

We'd probably bicker but that's okay.

We would definitely go shopping, I would drag him through the farmers market and we'd get distracted by shiny things

Wind

Look man I understand this little gremlin. He just wants ants to be treated like a person not a kid

I'd act like I do either all kids. Like their capable, he's old enough to start a fire and fight monsters he's old enough to be trusted

Annoying little brother acquired, I'd die for him

I'd also kick his ass in Mariokart

We'd go to the beach with a metal detector and find stuff

Sky

I love Sky so much but we would not get along as fast as I would with others.

Sky comes off as passive at first (to me at least). I don't think I'd hate him or anything but I prefer people who are passionate about things

After we got past that (perceived) lack of fire we'd be cool.

Sky is laid back and once again, honest. He loves deeply and he loves birds

He'd befriend the crows with me!

We could just hang out doing different things and I love that.

Hyrule

Kind of the same boat as Sky6 comes off a little too calm and easy going for me.

I wouldn't know how to handle him, and realistically he might feel the same about me. I'm stubborn, passionate, loud about what matters, and reckless.

But we'd figure it out. His healing and my interest in medicine would be a fast bond

Also he'd see a lot of me. I get into weird accidents a lot.

Hyrule and I would share folklore and info dump together

Eventually, I think we'd be close but it would take a while

But we both have a HUGE sweet tooth and I think we'd bake together

Four

I love him okay? But we'd have some problems

He obviously wouldn't be upfront about the colors. And I'd probably pick up on the fact he's hiding SOMETHING

I HATE feeling lied to/ left out. I wouldn't confront him outright unless I felt it was a dangerous secret but I would NOT trust him

I wouldn't think he's like out to get me or the others, but still.

This would damage our compatability

After I found out I'd wonder what else he's hiding

And we'd probably get along fine but I do better when I trust you and he would probably want to be fully trusted

Eventually I'd trust him fully but it'd take a while

[jerzwriter]

Tricks and Treats

Thank you to @aces-and-angels for this ask for Halloween prompt #28. It's the perfect prompt for them. I hope I did it justice. :)

Book: Crimes of Passion Pairing: Trystan Thorne x F!MC (Carolina Rose) Words: 1,400 Rating: Teen Warnings: Some violence, though nothing too intense; cursing Summary: Trystan & Carolina are running late to Ruby & Luke's Halloween Party. They have one stop to make on the way, but things go awry. A/N: It helps if you know the story of Little Red Riding Hood, but you don't have to. Participating in @choicesoctober Halloween, @choicesholidays Halloween

CoP Masterlist Main Masterlist

“One, two, three, four,” Carolina’s red cape fluttered behind her each time she raised her arm to grab another bottle of wine from the shelf. She had her hand on the fifth when she paused. “Five? Is five necessary? Maybe four will do... I can’t be the only one bringing wine... and I’m not just saying this because my shopping basket is so freaking heavy...”  

She could feel the weight of someone’s stare as she continued the animated conversation with herself. Turning her head quickly , she found a mildly amused shopper looking her way.

“My friends like wine,” Carolina shrugged. “A lot, actually... but... this is getting heavy, and I need to make a decision. I don’t normally talk to myself like this!” As the shopper shuffled away, Carolina yelled after her. “I don’t! I really don’t... I’m a very sane person! Totally sane... except... for right now.”

She let out a snort imagining how ridiculous she must have looked... Little Red Riding Hood standing in the middle of an aisle at Westside Market, rambling aimlessly about how much alcohol she needed to buy while declaring herself sane. New Yorkers were used to unusual sights, but she didn’t blame the woman for rushing away. 

She looked at her watch with a frown. They were already twenty minutes late for Ruby and Luke's party and still had midtown traffic to grapple with, so she set off to find Trystan, still talking to herself as she turned her neck to look down each aisle.

“Trystan, where are you?” Though she was actively looking for him, her heart still skipped a beat when a big, furry paw landed on her shoulder.  

“Trystan!” she startled, “you scared the shit out of me.”

“There is no Trystan,” he snickered, playfully pulling her close. “Only the Big Bad Wolf..uh.. no.. I mean Grandma! I’m Grandma, trust me.”

“Grandma? What big paws you have!” she beamed as he nuzzled into her neck and playfully growled.

“The better to paw you with, my dear...”

“Well, you can paw me once we get to the party. We’re very late.”

She went to reach for his hand, bursting into laughter when she saw the contents in his basket. “What are you buying?”

“Sausage and whipped cream,” he answered matter-of-factly.

Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Caroline winced. “Sausage... and whipped cream?”

“Yes. Ruby asked me to pick up chorizo, and there is no way I’m partaking in Luke’s pumpkin pie without the benefit of whipped cream. What do you take me for? A heathen?"

“But, Trystan... we’re walking up to the cashier to purchase a lot of wine, an obscenely large chorizo... and whipped cream.... how does that look?”

“Like we’re on our way to one hell of a party,” he winked. 

“Why don’t we stop on aisle five and throw in some Vaseline. That should give the staff something to talk about for hours, maybe days, to come!”

“Aisle five, you say?” he said, grabbing her hand.

“Can we forget I mentioned that?”

But his impish grin gave her all the answers she needed.

“I should know better by now,” she sighed.

~~~~~

Carolina was lost in thought as they waited on the barely moving line. Trystan scrunched his nose to wordlessly to inquire about her thoughts.

“I should get more wine,” she insisted. “I mean... you know our friends. This won't be nearly enough.”  

“Well, I don’t think this line is going to move anytime soon. Would you like me to run and get more?”

“No, you wait here,” she insisted. “I’ll go.”

“Just be quick,” he smiled. “It's dangerous out in the woods.”

“I know!” She said with wide eyes. “We even have Drakovian wolves now!"

“Oh! The worst kind!” he scoffed, patting her bottom quickly as she rushed off, his eyes never leaving her until she was out of sight. He turned back to face the front of the line and met the disapproving gaze of an elderly woman in front of him.

“It's OK," Trystan insisted. "She’s my girlfriend, that was perfectly acceptable behavior.”

Not sure she was satisfied with his answer, he pulled out his phone to check messages. He was lost in thought when...

“Freeze!” A masked man wearing an undistinguishable costume yelled as he launched at the cashier, gun blazing.

The teenage girl at the register began to scream.

“Shut the hell up and keep your hands where I can see ‘em... then no one gets hurt!”

Suddenly, another man dressed as Chewbacca whipped around and pointed a gun at the customers waiting in line.

“Don’t any of you get any ideas either!”

Trystan held up his hands with a roll of his eyes. “This behavior is so unbecoming of a Wookie.”

But his bravado depleted at once when the man cocked his pistol and aimed it at Trystan.

“Think you’re funny there, Scar?"

"Scar? No...I'm the Big Bad Wolf."

"SHUT UP!!! One more out of you, and you’ll be laughing at the morgue.”

Back at the register, the young cashier nervously tossed cash into a shopping bag as the robber was losing patience.

“Make it quick, Blondie! We don’t have all day!”

The old woman in front of Trystan began to hyperventilate and appeared to lose her balance.

Trystan reached out to touch her arm. “It’s going to be all right,” he whispered; but his sudden movement jarred the Wookie assailant, who fired a shot in the air.

“I SAID DON’T FUCKING MOVE! DON’T MAKE ME DO SOMETHING I DON’T WANT TO DO!”

But eyes lit up when he caught a flash of light from the old woman’s direction.

“Well,” he let out a slow whistle. “That’s one hell of a diamond ring you’ve got there... hand it over!”

“No..." she cried. "I’ll give you all my money, but not this! Please! My Harry gave this to me for our fortieth anniversary! I remember him every time I see it!"

“Lady, unless you want to join Harry tonight, HAND IT OVER.”

Trystan clenched his teeth as the old woman tearfully removed the ring from her finger; that’s when he locked eyes with Carolina. A knowing look passed between them, and she gently nodded, mouthing the words... one... two... three....

Carolina rushed to the register, raising a bottle of wine high above her head, breaking it over the gunman’s head. Meanwhile, Trystan charged Chewbacca. He wailed as Trystan twisted his arm in an inhuman position until his gun fell to the floor. The first man began coming to and attempted to reach for the fallen weapon...

“Oh, no, you fucking don’t!” Carolina yelled as another bottle of wine crashed into his temple.

Trystan sat atop the other man to hold him in place. But when the police arrived, they took aim at Trystan.

“NO!” Carolina yelled. “The Big Bad Wolf is the good guy! He's with me. Chewbacca is the one you want!”

“My mistake,” the officer nodded. “The call just said a hairy beast was one of the assailants."

"It's OK," Carolina smirked. "It’s not every day we see the Big Bad Wolf and Chewbacca wrestling on the floor!”

“Wrestling?” Trystan spat. “There was no wrestling! I had this second-rate mongrel fully under control!”

“Of course, you did, dear,” Carolina smiled as the other officer took the wine-battered criminal off her hands.

The officer couldn't help but laugh. “It’s not every day you see Red and the Big Bad Wolf taking out the bad guys, either.”

“Hey, it’s New York,” Carolina shrugged. “You never know what you’ll see... especially on Halloween.”

With that, she turned to the wine-battered criminal. “Speaking of which... what the hell is your costume? I can't even tell what you were supposed to be."

“Sinatra!” The man answered bitterly.

“Sin... SINATRA! Frank Sinatra!” Carolina spat. “If I had known that, I would have hit harder! How dare you disparage Frank like that!”

“Do you have a thing for Sinatra?” Trystan questioned. “Perhaps I should have chosen my costume more carefully.”

“Sinatra was one of my father’s favorites,” she smiled softly. “And this SOB has the audacity....”

“Detective Rose,” the officer interrupted. “We need to take your statement.”

“Oh, of course,” she said as Trystan's phone rang.

“It shouldn’t be long. Then you two kids can head back to grandma’s house.”

As the officer took out his notepad, he and Carolina heard bits and pieces of Trystan's conversation.

“I know you’re desperate for the chorizo... we stopped a robbery.... yes, a robbery.... we’re fine... we’ll be leaving shortly... I have whipped cream, too.”

Carolina shook her head. “Whenever I'm with you, it seems words I could never have imagined in the same sentence all just meld together."

"I'm confident I'm not the first person to say chorizo, whipped cream, and robbery in the same breath."

"I don't know," the police officer muttered. "I think you might be."

After wrapping things up, the store manager came over to thank the couple, insisting they take their order for free. As they made their way out into the cold, moonlit night, Trystan suddenly stopped in his tracks.

"We just can't have a normal night out, can we?”

“Hon, this is normal for us,” she smiled, reaching up to kiss his cheek. “Now, keep moving. Luke is desperate for his chorizo.”

"Talk about words I'd never hear strung together," he laughed.

It was a Halloween they'd never forget. 🎃

@choicesficwriterscreations Tagging others separately.

[berrypass-de-murdler]

33. A Recent Death in an Ancient Temple

I want to make a giveaway or something for everyone that reads this, but idk if I can make drawings because I CAN'T DRAW HUMANS 😭 probably not shocking considering the designs

Fletch can draw pretty much anything, humans, animals, realistic, cartoon, idk how she does it. I can do cartoon + animals and that's it

if anyone has any ideas lmk I owe you so much <3

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

The next stop involves ancient magic or something. The institute tells Logico that they want Irra to work ALONGSIDE him.

LOGICO: ALONG-SIDE?! OHHHHHHHHHHH! [cries] IRRATINO: I’m so excited! We get to go on an adventure together! 

There’s a dead archeologist near a crumbling temple, and also Azure and Tuscany. 

LOGICO: And I’m counting YOU as a suspect, Mr. Man, because I don’t trust you one bit! IRRATINO: Then why do you need my help a bunch? LOGICO: I can do this BY MYSELF!

Logico sees bones and swords, usual stuff for a temple, but there's also loose crystals everywhere that are shiny and polished. 

LOGICO: What the… okay...

Logico can’t figure it out. He really wants to say it was Irratino to get him off his back but that’s unprofessional. Logico pouts like the tiny boi he is. Tino sits next to him and shows off the crystal skull he brought for some reason.

IRRATINO: [whispering] Does this help? LOGICO: FUUUCKK YOOOOUOU

But it actually does help.

AZURE: It is heresy to accuse me of murder. No. Wait. I had to commit murder to stop heresy.

Logico writes in his journal. ‘No ancient magick. Just murder!’ He tries to wink at the audience but he can’t 😭

The end!

look at my fuzzy babi boi who i'm super sane about

Jesus I need to draw something else

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[bridgyrose]

Ladybug Week Day 6: Scars

Blake opened the door of Ruby’s apartment, pausing as she saw the cut she made for Ruby to feed from had already started to scar up. Another scar added to the collection of cuts on her back from silver weapons and the bite mark on her left shoulder from the wolf that turned her. She turned away from her arm and helped Ruby into the apartment. “You’re sure you’re okay?” 

“I am,” Ruby answered as she relaxed once into the dimly lit apartment, taking her cloak off and looking at the burns on her arms. “At least it all looks like a sunburn now.” 

Blake nodded and sat down on the couch, watching Ruby as she put ointment over the sunburn. She had wanted to be upset that Ruby didnt trust her enough to tell her about being a vampire, though she knew she couldnt be all that upset with how often she had avoided Ruby and kept being a werewolf her own secret. “How long?” 

“I’m sorry?” Ruby asked. 

“How… how long have you been a vampire?” 

“Since I was born.” Ruby finished putting ointment on her skin and made her way to the kitchen to start making dinner. “Dad was a bit freaked out, but mom reassured him it was okay. Yang helped keep me safe after mom disappeared, though I did try to act as human as possible to help keep dad sane.” 

“And you were able to keep all of that hidden at Beacon?” Blake watched as Ruby grabbed a few potatoes and started to chop them up, licking her lips. “How? There was sunlight everywhere and I know I saw you come out during the day. A-and how did you feed?” 

Ruby sat the knife down and started to rinse the potatoes, carefully making sure her hands didnt get into the water. “Feeding was the hardest part. Yang helped when she could, but I always made sure to feed from her when it wasnt going to hurt her. Otherwise, I… went off in the middle of the night and fed from whatever animals I could find. Or from anyone who tried to bully my friends.” 

“What about the sunlight? I’m sure we would’ve noticed from that.” 

“You remember those gloves I used to wear all the time, right? The red ones with green trim?” 

Blake sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I should’ve known that. And your cloak… that would’ve kept the sunlight off you most of the time.” 

Ruby nodded and turned the water off. “That, and my umbrella. Plus, most of our classes were indoors, so that helped out a lot. Only had to worry about when we went on training missions and I… kept careful with that.” 

Blake nodded, smiling a bit as she watched Ruby continue to cook. Her smile faded as Ruby spoke to her, a hand moving to her shoulder. 

“When did you become a werewolf?”

Blake sighed and moved her shirt to show the bite mark scar on her shoulder, still tender to the touch after all these months. “I… I was bit by another werewolf while I was on a mission. It was supposed to be a quick scouting mission for Vacuo to make sure there werent any grimm in the area. Instead, I ran into a wolf during the full moon. It had bright blue eyes and a scar across it’s left eye, and it seemed angry that I was there. I tried to fight it off, but…” her voice trailed off as she pulled her shirt up to hide the scar again, looking away from Ruby. Her body shuddered as it remembered the pain from the bite, how the teeth practically burned as they pierced through her aura and into her. How it felt to shift the first time, her body feeling hotter than normal while her bones shifted, hearing each crunch as joints moved and bones seemed to reform to suit her wolfish form. “Doesnt matter anymore though.” 

“Of course it matters.” Ruby walked over to Blake and sat down next to her, gently rubbing her shoulder. “For the longest time, I wanted to be normal. To be just a regular human or faunus, but that was never a choice for me. And while that was taken from you, what you need is someone who can stay by your side.” 

Blake slowly looked over to Ruby. “And who would be dumb enough to do that?” she asked. “I might attack at any minute when I’m shifted.” 

Ruby grinned and pointed at herself. “Then call me stupid, because I’m not leaving your side for a minute. I might not know what its like to shift like you do, but that doesnt mean I cant try to help keep you safe and maybe get this under control.” 

“And if anyone comes to hunt me?” 

“Then I’ll make sure they know never to come after you again.” 

Blake relaxed a bit and nodded. “Alright, I trust you.” 

“Great. But there is one thing I’ll need as payment.” 

“And what’s that?” 

Ruby kissed her. “For us to go stargazing again. Barring nights of the full moon.” 

Blake pressed into the kiss, practically purring as she relaxed. “Sounds like a small price to pay. But, yeah, I’ve missed that too. Stargazing it is.” 

[mdverse]

md's fun silly little top 10(ish) arts of the 2023!*

*pretend there's a fun cute doodled banner here (i was going to make one earlier and then i forgor)

doing a lil recap of my top 10 15 (it was supposed to be 10 and i could not narrow it down oops) best(? this is subjective as fuck i guess it's more like my personal faves) drawings of the year! *the crowd cheers* (it’s me I’m the crowd)

15: paradise by the dashboard light! i hate to rank her so low bc i spent ages on her but it seems i don't love the result that much anymore so :/ a for effort for me tho this was ambitious

14: cheer girl loml <33 not my best art technically by far but i went way out of my comfort zone for the background and the art style (for no good reason really) (i just wanted to do a comic book thing bc superhero vibes or whatever) (it did not come out the way i was hoping it would bc i think i got too frustrated) and we simply must acknowledge that. atog did things to me that i cannot explain

13: barbie meme brittana! not my best britt but truly sooo fun to work on. there's nothing quite like finding a fun rendering process and then never using it again (i don't even remember how i coloured this but i like it)

12: cowboy barbie brittana <3 they look good, they're about to kiss, cute outfits, pretty sunset, probably went overboard with the rim lighting, what's not to love? a banger, i think

11: i say a little prayer! i think the background is. questionable at best. but this is still really fun! i think i got possessed when i got to the uniforms bc goddamn they look good

10: klaine?? on this blog???? almost unheard of lmao i truly did not think i would like this one as much as i did. i'd consider ranking it higher if i wasn't constantly Unwell over brittana but again, i'm biased, and no one here should be surprised about that

9: pre-wedding kiss my beloved! with how insane i've been over this kiss it could perhaps be higher. i am gnawing on my desk as we speak i'm not even sitting at a desk rn

8: rutherchang x black swan!! ohhh u guys i don't talk about this one enough i think it's so pretty i don't even remember how i did the colours for it but rhgfdkngd?? love her, love pushing the glee x bts agenda, if any of u gifmakers are interested in making a mike chang x black swan lyric gifset i will love u forever

7: colour wheel challenge! busted my whole tiddies and ass for this one fellas. labour of love etc etc i think staring at the bright colours for so long made my eyesight worse and i'm ok with that

6: mistletoe brittana <33 easily the best instalment of this series by a long shot! recency bias (and also just. regular bias) made me rank her much higher originally but technically she is not the most intricate piece so she must sit down here

5: prom queen kurt! dare i say a girlslay on my behalf? i think i dare. every time i see it i think i should do more glosters (glee posters) and then i don't. i could tho they would be really cool (source: dude trust me)

4: churro kiss redraw!!! genuinely Not Sane over this! never have been, never will be! redraws are like crack to me and so is this kiss

3: furtana!! i neglected them for far too long this year but if neglecting them results in art like this i may have to do it again

2: heart kiss <3 if we're being really honest and vulnerable in the chat tonight i think this is technically my best of the brittana kiss screencap redraw things i've done this year? which i did not see coming but i guess practice means refining the process etc etc so. it makes sense ig. mwah to them <3

1: black or white gcv animation <3 it's not what i would call my best drawing (bc it's, yknow, not just one drawing) but it is what i would call the product of a very obsessive thought and some frantic art sessions. objectively it's the coolest thing i've done this year so it deserves the top spot. i'm proud of it i hope to glanimate more next year. also this isn't art but it's a relevant post that i still stand by months later

[uh-niran-really]

A friend requested that I write something for Vampire Symmetra and Cleric Lifeweaver so I wrote this for them! I enjoyed it so much I wanted to share it here! Enjoy!

Vampire Sym x Cleric Weaver

It had been months since his dearest friend had received the bite. Satya came to him in agony one night begging for help. He tried everything he could think off but in the end it was futile. She turned right in front of his eyes, her skin turning a dark grey, eyes shifting from the warm brown he loved so much to a deep red. She screamed in pain as he watched, there was nothing he could do. Her front teeth fell from her mouth, pointed fangs replacing them instantly. Niran watched in horror as her heart stopped beating, yet she stood, very much undead.

“Thirsty..” She had whispered. “So thirsty!”

Niran offered her some water, but she swot it away, instead grabbing his wrist to bite it. However, something inside her stopped her from doing so. She looked to her terrified best friend and dropped his wrist, opting to jump out of the window instead and run deep into the night.

She returned serval hours later covered in blood that wasn’t her own, tears in her eyes. She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but she was so thirsty, she felt like she was dying. Niran took her in his arms, holding her tight as she cried. He promised her he would do everything he could to rescue her from this.

Since then Niran has been working around the clock to find a cure, everything coming up too short. She mostly stayed put with him, wandering off occasionally. She had tried animal blood but found it had a weird taste, Niran wasn’t fond of animals being killed either so instead he opted to give her his own blood. Being a cleric he had access to draw his blood into vials, which he have to her when she was in need of feeding. She had become more affectionate with him lately, something he never complained about but he did miss the old her. She was different now, but he wouldn’t stop until he found a cure.

“Niran.. Thirsty!”

“You ran out of vials?” He turned to face her, her lust for blood becoming more apparent.

“Thirsty! I’m so thirsty! Niran!!”

“Okay okay, settle down dear. I’ll draw some more.”

He set about prepping his wrist by cleaning it and tapping the vein so the needle could get right in, before setting up his tools. She watched eager to feast, the thirst becoming too much.

“THIRSTY!”

“Satya, please be patient.” He smiled at her, eyes pleading for her to remain calm. He knew she couldn’t help it, but he also needed calm to focus. She sat on the table watching him, practically licking her lips.

“Why can’t I take it from you?!”

“We don’t know what that will do my love.”

“I won’t turn you Niran! I’m so thirsty!”

“I know, just give me a second to find a vial. I know I have more.”

She searched through draws and selves for a clean vial for his blood to go in, but found nothing. He considered slashing his wrist and have his blood drip into a cup for her to drink but she was already so crazed for blood, she might attack him for it.

“NIRAN!!” Her eyes were bloodshot and she was heightened by blood lust. “I NEED IT!!”

Niran knew what we happen if she didn’t get it. She’d leave and attack a poor defenceless human or worse, she’d attack an armed one, who might well kill her. A thought he couldn’t bear to imagine. With time running out and no vials in sight he did what any sane man would do and offered her his wrist.

“Take it.”

“Niran..”

“Satya, take it. I trust you. If you say you won’t turn me, then I trust you.” He smiled, gritting his teeth, waiting for the bite.

With little to no hesitation she grabbed his wrist and sunk her teeth into his flesh. Niran yelped in pain but the pain quickly subsided, turning into a fuzzy feeling, akin to pleasure. He deduced that Vampires must have an aphrodisiac effect when feasting, probably to stop their meal screaming in pain. He watched as she gorged herself on his blood, moaning as she took it. She always enjoyed the taste of his blood, she said it tasted floral and sweet. She seemed to be enjoying it fresh from his skin however and Niran worried she wouldn’t stop until she drained him dry, but to his suprise she let go wiping the blood from her lips, sighing and feeling full.

“Better?”

“Yes!”

“Good.” He cleaned and bandaged up his wrist, noting the two pinpoint pricks from her fangs. It would surely scar but he didn’t mind. She was safe and that’s all he cared about.

Once he was done tending to his wound she hugged him, nuzzling her face into his neck and sitting on his lap. She was so affectionate after feasting, he found it adorable. He didn’t mind holding her for a while, she was practically weightless now anyway. Slowly he pet her long satin hair as she squeaked in delight, appreciating him for all he did for her.

“I love you Niran.” She pulled away from nuzzling his neck, opting to stare into his golden eyes.

“That’s new. Usually you aren’t so obvious with your feelings. What changed?”

She shook her head at him smiling just enough to show vulnerability. Lately she has come to appreciate all Niran did for her during this time. He was always there for her when she was a human, but lately she came to realise that Niran cared for her enough to keep her safe and from harm. He risked a lot by doing so. She loved him for it.

“Nothing. I just noticed how much you want to keep me safe.”

“Of course! You’re my dearest friend. I adore you.”

“Friend..” She was a little disappointed by his choice of words. She was falling for him and now she has taken his blood directly, she was practically smitten. She hadn’t been a vampire very long, but she had determined that taking blood without killing was one of the most intimate things they could do. She wanted to keep him safe, to feed on him more. To have him like a sort of pet. Maybe a boyfriend or whatever humans called them. It had been so long since she thought like a human, her memory blurred and forgetful of what it was like before.

“Is that not what this is? Or am I now good to you Satya?” He chuckled, his laugh warm like the sun she could no longer see. It didn’t matter because Niran was her light now, that’s what his name meant anyway, so fitting.

“Not food. But mine.”

“I’m not going anywhere silly girl.” He pet her head again and she laid her chin on his shoulder, almost purring at the sensation. It was so blissful she could fall asleep.

“I love you Niran.” She said again, her heart almost feeling something. She swore it could beat.

“And I love you Satya.” He confessed, holding her in his arms as she slowly drifted off to sleep.

[valkyrie1366669]

Trigger warning: mentions of abortion, cannibalism, miscarriages, product or rape, rape, childhood rape.

Snippet of chapter 6 A Bard's Tale of a White Bat, the Scarred Bear, and a Rabid Red Fox

"Conquer your endgame you mean?" Gale scoffs. Still sour about everything.

The redhead scoffs. She's had it with his smart mouth. Fine, he wants to comment about her sharp tongue. Let him have it. "It must be so easy from your perspective, Mr. Dekarious." She starts before glaring at the human wizard. "A hypocrite in the making about what's wrong and right. Blinded by the crown's potential power. Gale’s folly right? I respect you, as well as everyone else here. But I’ll not be watching my back for you to change your opinion of me. I'll simply take care of it personally like the rabid animal youse think I am- if you attempt anything. You saw what I did to Alfira, Gale. What do you think I can do to you? I had warned all of you that were present that morning."

"You didn't..." Shadowheart starts but she cuts her off. Her eyes flashed gold briefly as she was pissed. It was taking everything not to rip her tongue out.

"FECKIN' HELLS I DIDN'T! I told all of youse I was fighting a darkness in me and couldn't control myself! I WAS BEGGING FOR HELP AND GOT NOTHING!!!! It was all shrugged off. That was with me injured and tied up for the rest of the night. I lost count of how many hours I’ve spent listening to everyone's problems and want to help each of you. I nearly killed Astarion out of the simple choice of letting Isobel live. That’s how Bhaal works with his children.” She starts to speak more with her hands a bit and speech gets a little faster. Her anger was even causing some thorns to grow. Jahiera and Halsin use their magic to keep the foliage at bay.

Minthara’s head tilts a little. “Then speak, half-fairy. Whereas I find this side of you magnificent. Clarify for the childish minds.”

“We’re not acting childish.” Gale narrows his eyes at the Drow noble.

“Your tone says otherwise, wizard. You’re blindly pushing something out of your control. I met Orin. Trust me when I say Gwynnistri is more sane and trying not to kill you where you stand. I certainly would have ended you for your insubordination. So let her speak as you and the others put her on the stand.”

While Minthara spoke, the Bhaalspawn Druid had been trying to breathe. Tempting to cool her urges that were just along the edge. As they were getting closer to the edge of no control. “There is nae a day or night I worry I'll kill someone here. My head pounds and my body aches every time I resist it. Feels like hot pokers prodding my body all the time. Pain from my muscles ache from the first to last light, and I feel numb most days. I still occasionally throw up blood from that Myrkul cleric rearranging my organs and not eating properly. Kept awake from not just the parasite, but dreams of red- probably a sliver of what I've done." She chuckles at the end.

“Forgive me if I’m doubtful, but every Baldurian knows your kind. You are still Bhaal’s favorite. Even Gortash said that. Or perhaps how do we know you aren’t the shape changer.” Wyll comments.

‘The noble and blindly honorable ones are always the most annoying. He was still young.’ The Blood Druidess smirks. “Ye really want to go down this route lad? Because I’d advise you not to tempt it. Drop the attitude of seeing things black and white for the moment.” Her whole face darkened as she confessed a dark truth.

Gale scoffs. “We deserve the truth as you hid it. You are deflecting the situation.”

The urge to kill her two companions was getting difficult to control. Her dominant hand twitched to break Wyll’s horns and impale him with it. Cause Gale’s body to explode by making his blood explosive and lethal. “You’re his heir to his bloody throne.”

After the Blade of Frontiers remark, Gwynnistri palm strikes Wyll and Gale hard. Causing their noses to break as a warning to be quiet. “Me and twin brother were the result of rape. Bhaal had used my father’s form to make me ‘pedigree stock’ for his experiment. A Bhaalspawn raised outside his temple and raised outside of it. Fancy isn’t it?” She then uses her blood magic to heal Wyll as her anger gets the better of her.

Wyll still had a hand over his nose until he was healed. “Gwynn I..”

“Oh, now you’re sorry. Funny how I didn’t push any of you to mention your past. But I guess that was asking too much.” She laughs at it. Mostly from being emotionally drained and a little of her madness getting to her. Their bantering was edging her urges.

“But the worst of it wasn’t the gore, cannibalism, or murder, monster slayer. It was hearing those girls’ screams. It’s haunted me as I could hardly do anythin’ about it. I don’t remember all of it, but I remember a man cutting a lass up as he couldn’t fit. Even I had limits despite that picture of me you’re painting. For a brief time, I did try from a young age to please father dearest. It was a requirement among some he deemed worthy. All of my children were born dead or heavily deformed. One had skin like stone and another with half a brain. Not surprising as I poisoned myself often then to get rid of the parasite growing in me. I was no older than you were when you made the pact with Mizora when I had my first.”

Despite what the Druidess was confessing and the horrid looks on her companions' faces, she clearly accepted that a long time ago when she made sense of it. Hard to say how long she had known about it. Her partners didn’t know all of that either. Parts but not to that vivid detail as they didn’t want to pressure her into it. Though Jaheira has never personally met a female Bhaalspawn, the history was not foreign to her in that way.

“I killed and aborted so many of Bhaal’s children. Just so the mother would live. Or even a young lad tired of being used. I always got a whipping as I used my Druidic teachings to terminate the babes. Imagine seeing so many children and teenagers being parents. They asked for release as death was better than living. I still have those thoughts every once in awhile even when I’m happy. Incestial rape was more common than anything. I even ate my own babe’s corpses at times when they were no bigger than the pommel of your rapier. All to keep my rouse of keeping them safe as much as I could and when I was around. I was one of the few lucky ones as I killed anyone who tried or if I saw it. My job was to cull the weak, and those people are always my favorite prey.”

"Gwynn I..." Karlach tried to apologize, but instead got a cold glare. Unusual from the redhead as she was usually warm and soft-spoken with Karlach. "I'm sorry... I didn't know. I wish I realized it ahead of time." Her face seemed mournful for her friend as she knew the tales her parents would say about Bhaalspawn whenever she wasn't behaving well. How if she misbehaved enough, one would come after her. Funny how things worked out. Now apparently a Bhaalspawn is one of her closest friends.

The redhead sighs at her Tiefling friend. "As nice as that sounds; sorry doesn't change me fate, Karlach. If it’s not the Parasite that gets me, Bhaal will. You've chosen how youse want to go out on your terms. I have mine in case." She rubs her temple with her fingers to ease the mental spike in her head. “Enjoy your blueprints.” She was going to test everyone’s blood for a doppelganger. But she needed to have a moment or rest of the evening to herself.

[i-am-minty-fresh]

Saw your post! (Hope you will get better soon) How do you feel about Nami and Usopp? I really like their general relationship, a bit "sibling like" and "we're the only sane people around". How do you feel about them ( plus Chopper) being called the "weak trio" or "coward trio" in comparison to the 'monster trio' ? (Personally idk, i don't really mind but the "pure strenght" fighting ability is not really my focus with OP chaacters) And about their dynamics in general?

Hello Dear friend O’Mine! Your question interests me and has left me puzzled for the last few days because there’s just so much to discuss! I have decided to start at the beginning and work our way that way! Then we’ll talk about the groups themselves.

In the beginning, there was light…more specifically the fires of the war that Nami and Nojiko were saved from (I’m starting with Nami cause she’s older). Nami’s story is about trust and determination. She’s the child of a hardy ex-marine who taught her grit, but was unable to stop her nasty habit of pickpocketing (would have probably gotten the chance without the lead between her eyes). The result means she ended up with half of a childhood lesson and a half taught out of habit…leaving her with stealing and trickery but only from people who deserve it…like dirty pirates for example. Nami’s a spit fire greedy asshole who takes advantage of her charm to get what she wants while still having a kind of moral compass (it doesn’t work great but…it works about as well as any of the strawhat’s does).

Usopp on the other hand was a momma boy (I assume). No grand story of misery, just a kid who wanted to make his mom feel a little bit better as she slowly died of some unknown illness. He’s never been good at coning people or tricking them or anything like that…nor was he seemingly taught any lesson on bravery or hard work…

They’re functionally opposites.

You can also look at the way that Usopp and Nami view pirates. Nami (for the most part) has always understood them to be no-good rotten assholes who function on nothing more than blind greed. Usopp on the other hand has idealized them in a way that almost makes the job impossible, never really understanding what being a pirate actually means beyond the fantastic lies he makes up to see Kaya smile and the lies he tells about his dad that he tells his mom so he doesn’t have to think that hisdad actually abandoned them both. Usopp lives in a fantasy land of swashbuckling heroes and Nami lives in the real world full of greedy assholes….it’s just their luck that Luffy’s crew is a healthy(?) combination of both.

This is to better define the age differences between Nami, Sanji, and Zoro compared to Usopp and Luffy (Notice how both the monster trio and the coward trio have a healthy dose of both?) Nami is a realist who has a defined skill set built on years of discipline and who’s been keeping the lesson’s shes learned from Bellemere held close to her heart so she never becomes the rotten thing that took her mother from her. Usopp doesn’t have any of that.

Nami acts to ground Usopp and, in a way, pass on the knowledge that Bellemere taught her about hard work and discipline onto this insecure teen. She reminds him that not only are there actual stakes in being a pirate, but that those stakes are scary because you should never give up.

Usopp on the other hand brings a healthy dose of stupid teenage boy bullshit but being smarter than Luffy…but still pretty stupid overall. He doesn’t take everything so seriously and it must feel like a breath of fresh air to Nami who’s been living every day like it’s the last day of her life.

That’s their differences, now let’s talk about similarities or what makes them a part of the ‘cowards trio’ (we’ll talk about Chopper a bit more in a sec because this question is about THEM specifically).

They both avoid confrontation like it’s the plague. Sure Nami is more willing to attack when she feels threatened but more like a scared shelter animal might…self-defense isn’t exactly assault (I’m looking at you Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji). She has always looked out for herself so she’s got some good ‘stay-the-fuck-away-from-me-or-i’ll-make-your-digestive-track-work-in-reverse’ energy that helps her get outta dodge before the big powerful guy shows up, but now she’s just Luffy so…it becomes a stamina problem.

Usopp’s got the same practical issue, stamina, with a different reason… lack of experience and area of expertise…he’s a 17-year-old sniper who’s never really had to fight anyone before…

Nami’s used to tricking her way out and Usopp is used to running…neither of which are really that viable in a strawhat fight.

Because Nami has never needed weaponry that does any more than deliver a clear (and metal-tasting) message then it takes til the iconic scene between her and Usopp before Alabasta where she asks him to make her something better suited to actually fight with. The physical fighters on the crew rely on either pure strength or fucking devil fruit magic which leaves them both at a sort of disadvantage. Nami knows she can’t compete melee-wise with her metal pipe (Sabo scoffs somewhere) and asks Usopp for help because he does a good job not being melee and she wants in on that skill set which turns them both into….

Support fighters! (Clapping ensues).

We’ll go into what this means in a second but this combination of similarities and notable childhood differences leads to the sibling-like interactions between them…Nami trying to teach her younger brother the ropes, only to find that some of the ropes she’s been relying on are no longer needed. She finds out that the younger brother in question has found his own ropes that provide tremendous aid and says that she wants in. They start carrying the same general load, even if Usopp’s a smug asshole about it in the beginning (the ‘party tricks’ thing with the climatact made me want to pull my hair out but it’s actually what a smug younger brother would do….make a useful but humiliating weapon only Nami could really use).

In regards to why they’re the only sane ones, that answer is notably easier…they’re the only humans. Sanji and Zoro are excluded from this category for genetic reasons, all the devil fruit users are excluded for Magic reasons, Jimbei is excluded for Fishman reasons, and Franky is excluded for SUPER reasons, it only leaves Usopp and Nami. They’re mortal and very aware of it. Nami knows just how close to death she can dance and the strawhats tend to consistently drag her to dance WAY beyond that safety net while Usopp, on the other hand, lacks the experience to be comfortable anyway closer to death than explicitly necessary…which is apparently not strict enough criteria for Luffy and his gang of monsters to leave the poor son of a bitch alone.

To briefly mention Chopper (because I’m gonna start more formally discussing the various trios and the doctor shouldn’t be just casually dismissed altogether) his inexperience with the human world almost acts as a middle between Nami and Usopp. He lacks Nami’s experience but his lack of an appropriate starting place doesn’t leave him quite as discombobulated as Usopp. In other words, he doesn’t know how to handle the strawhats crazy but he doesn’t know anything but that crazy so he’s not as bothered as either of them. All of this paired with him being the youngest strawhat overall, and you’re left with a scared kid who wants something rational he can hold onto for stability…nothing about Luffy, Zoro, or Sanji is stable in the combat sense but Usopp and Nami…their fear is entirely rational. It makes complete sense. He’s also a doctor which means he doesn’t want to cause unnecessary harm without a valid reason + the pirate king and his goons aren’t quite the post-op patients a doctor dreams about late at night so preventing his future patients from harm whenever possible might also act as a bonus for peaceful conflict resolution.

Now let's discuss the various trios and what they mean. I would argue that the ‘coward trio’ is an accurate way to describe Nami, Usopp, and Chopper in a fight the same way the ‘monster trio’ is an accurate way to describe Sanji, Zoro, and Luffy in a fight….the first three are cowards that want nothing to do with a fight on principle, while the later three are demons from hell with little regards for self-preservation, property damage, or levels of sadism (Zoro, I’m mostly looking at you for that one). ‘Weak trio’ though? Thems’ fightin’ words. Weakness is all perspective. Is Luffy’s weakness to seastone put him in this group? How about Sanji’s weakness to women? How about Zoro’s weakness to Milhawk or Kuma? It’s all about perspective. I think a more fitting term would be ‘support trio’. You get a wizard, a marksman, and a healer… they’re supporting characters for the barbarian, monk, and fighter classes that are gonna find themselves in quite the consistent predicament if they keep just trying to fit things as hard as they can. That’s not all Nami, Usopp, and Chopper are in the same way that not all Luffy, Sanji, and Zoro are…if we’re defining these characters purely by their fighting style then it works but I try to take the harder path of analyzing them individually as well as through the relationships that they form (hence the reason behind me wanting these asks).

Hope this was what you wanted, I sure had fun writing it! Any and all thoughts as well as feelings would be much appreciated! Thanks for the ask! (Also here ya go @certain-arcade-dinosaur , this is what I postponed my Classics final to write, and it was worth it!)

(Loving the recently Usopp Love!!! Big fan of my favorite dude getting some love recently!)

[localplaguenurse]

(Trips and falls into your inbox)

I’m currently very stressed so….

Thinking about modern au where Morax didn’t meet wifey in the past but in the new liyue and he’s a researcher.

And that’s when he got assigned into a project where they have to document this mythical creature rumoured to be an adeptal beast,

Cue feral vampire Wifey wherein cheng gho had someone use a sigil of permission to seal them away and now there’s a feral vampire on the loose.

Morax recognising the signs began to sneak in cups of blood into the cage where feral Wifey struggled to drink from a cup and eventually they managed to.

Several cups of blood later, Wifey regains their sense of self, speaks to him in (at this point) ancient Liyuen where Wifey tells him their story.

I like to think the research organisation is like the organisation in Kane Pixels backrooms, where they’re not evil or have malicious intent, they just didn’t know what they’re dealing with and are now struggling with the consequences (I.e taking samples from a now sentient vampire) where their organisation has to fight ethics.

Oh my god I am so far behind on Kane Pixels and am a disgrace for it.

I do absolutely adore the detail of it being old Liyuean, and of course Zhongli knows it because his field of work is from that era. I’m thinking of Atlantis: The Lost Empire and oh no Milo Zhongli is. It’s too strong. I gotta rewatch that movie some time. Maybe today. Probably not though.

I also have the distinct image where Zhongli cuts his hand to get the blood, but when he goes to hand wifey the cup, they knock it out of his hand and start licking his wound instead which freaks him out. They eventually get it sorted where wifey drinks animal blood until Zhongli can trust they’re sane enough that he can let them feed on him and pry them off when they’re done.

Wifey also won’t let anyone except Zhongli nearby, and Zhongli can’t bring himself to physically hurt them to collect samples, so it’s a lot of him trying to get wifey to willingly give samples vs the organization going “I know it’s not ideal but if we have to strap them down and take it by force, we will.”

So much angst potential ❤️❤️❤️

[cherrybrook]

The Future of Cherrybrook

Hey y’all,

I hope you are doing OK. If you haven’t yet, get together with some friends. Take a long walk around your neighborhood if it’s safe. Learn about a native plant or animal in your area. You'll feel better. I know that everyone’s last priority right now is a webcomic that just started like 4 months ago, but this project is unimaginably important to me. I want to talk about where we go from here.

For those unaware, Project 2025 is a plan for the presidency created by the Heritage Foundation, a think tank that got that fucker into office. Officially, he knows nothing about it, but nobody’s that stupid. Among many, many, many other nightmarish things, it aims to ban “pornography”. Their definition includes barely-coded dogwhistles for art with queer people in it. Should legislation around this pass, continuing to post Cherrybrook past a certain point would put me at risk of going to prison and ComicFury at risk of shutting down.

I will be level with you: in March of this year, I needed to process my feelings about American fascism. I was so terrified that it felt like acid was in my veins. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat. It felt like Death was breathing down my neck. So, I started writing a short story about trying to survive in a world that insisted on normalcy, even when the people you thought you could trust wanted you dead. That short story became the first chapter of Cherrybrook, which now has outlines to keep me going for the next 6 or so years. It has been the #1 thing keeping me sane. I have tried a few different configurations of the story, and there is absolutely no way to adhere to a law like the one the Heritage Foundation proposes without mangling it beyond recognition. So… what’s going to happen?

The comic will continue for as long as possible. If/when something affecting the comic is announced, probably in the first half of next year, I will share an offline version of the comic on itch.io that will receive parallel updates to the CF page. Once it actually goes into effect, I’ll keep going for as long as I possibly can without blatantly running into legal issues. When that happens, we’ll go on hiatus and try to weather the storm. If laws are repealed, I figure something out, or I have to move out of the States (which I really do not want to do), then I’ll pick back up where we left off.

I’m sorry. I wish things could be different. I can’t tell you that everything will be okay, but I can tell you life goes on, and we can be kind to each other, and that rules only work if you follow them. Very shortly, we all may find ourselves faced with dangerous choices. Make ones that honor the person you want to be.

Hal Daze

[literatureloverx]

about me

So many of my followers have been asking me questions about myself, which led me to create this “about me” post.

Initially, I didn’t intend to talk much about myself, but for some reason, people seemed interested.♥️

why snow white?

fictophilia

face reveal [will delete later]

my favourite books

big six (birth chart)

self-aware

the most sane Fyodor fan

my thoughts

some other thoughts

first impression of people who get to know me personally

favourite colours / favourite animals / favourite painting

5 movies that describe me

favourite movies / settings / moods / themes

favourite tropes

coffee or tea?

what do I like about Fyodor?

the doe

mythical creature

one of my favourite paintings

nails ♥️

the aesthetic

“Snow White” by Arantza Sestayo♥️

personal questions from 🧛🏻‍♀️🫀-anon

personal questions from 🍷💝-anon

personal questions from 🎪-anon

MBTI talk

me and my INTJ (Fyodor) one day, trust.

INFJ x ENTP (golden pairs do not exist)

sibling dynamics

religious beliefs

if I had the chance to talk to Fyodor

the omegaverse request

the bdsm test (I’m so ashamed)

I’m proud of my followers