#i’m so over today
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i commented on a tiktok about loving plus size lily and the user immediately made a video about hating jegulus
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I wanna go home 😭
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Ed rec and intrusive thoughts are literally the most confusing thing ever. I literally hate it. No one talks about how hard it is after you’ve come through the other side/been “clear” for years but then how to cope with weight you’d been trying so hard to gain
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When you’ve been feeling like shit all day long and now have to go work a ten hour overnight shift with someone who sets you on edge and makes you feel extremely territorial for no reason…
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estimate! and say you currently still work at your first job, just choose how long you’ve been employed. i also understand there might be some nuance as far as maybe like promotions/transfers/etc etc etc, so feel free to explain things in the tags!
#i’ve been wanting to make this poll for a long time#but i’m making it now cos i just got fired from my first job today and i was there for a bit over 2 years LOL#which i don’t think is normal?? to have been there so long?#yay retail#poll#polls#employment
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Hi so I might’ve made a painting of my Inquisitor while trying to mimic Solas’s style so I can pretend he made it
#I’ve titled it Decade of Pining#I’m handling the wait for veilguard well as you can see#I didn’t sleep last night and just worked on this woops#at least I have the day off today so it’s no biggie#but I am perhaps a bit delirious#i think this is good for my first try#but i need to work on making things more simplified if i wanna do this again#especially in the face he doesn’t do faces tbh#I struggle a lot with not over complicating things#always have#i just wanna add more#i know no restraint#solas#dragon age#shivana lavellan#my art#dragon age fanart#solavellan#da4#dragon age veilguard#da:tv
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Okay can I be a bitter Anders fan for like. Just 2 minutes here lmao
Cause bioware released some game stats for veilguard and apparently 72% of players redeemed Solas which is like. Okay yeah the game kinda pushes you towards that. But when I think of all the shit I used to have to put up with just for enjoying Anders like at all and…
(This is not me being anti-Solas, I do not care if you love or hate him, but I am gonna say what he’s done is like. Objectively worse than literally every other companion so lmao. And that’s fine! You can still enjoy him! I’m not saying you can’t and it’s important to me that people understand that! I’m just saying he did in fact do objectively morally worse things in game than Anders did and I don’t think that’s really debatable. And I can’t really make my point here without saying that but I do want to make it clear this is not some moral condemnation of Solas enjoyers cause it’s not)
Getting anon hate on the regular, being told “oh you’re allowed to like Anders as long as you regularly talk about how much he sucks”, people gleefully describing how much fun they have killing him ON your posts about the fact that you like him, the devs making jokes about shitty fates for him when fans asked innocent questions about him, the absolute audacity of his writer to say half the shit she did in interviews (about bisexuality and mental illness, most critically), and then being beaten over the head again in inquisition about how Anders is the worst character to ever exist and there’s no redemption for terrorists who lie to you one time in the entire game and he deserves death or worse and that’s it
And now… 72% of people are down to redeem the guy who lies to you for 2 games straight and who did a lot of questionable things that includes creating the fucking blight and. Like. I guess I’m glad that Solas fans can live in a world where they aren’t constantly harassed and can give their ship like. A pretty damn good ending all things considered. And that the devs love Solas and actually give the option for that happy ending and have characters go to bat for Solas throughout the game and the most annoying thing they have to see are people making scrambled egg memes. I would not wish anyone to have to deal with the shit Anders fans had to put up with back then cause it sucked. It really sucked. And I’m glad it’s not being repeated with a different character, if nothing else
But like. Man there really is a difference when the writers actually like the character who does the thing, huh
#shut up nerd#anders#I’m sorry it’s just. really hard to not be bitter tbh#like the shit we as fans went through#just for liking a damn character#tbf I do actually think if the game came out today perceptions would be different#I think people would be more comfortable with revolutionary action now than they were then#but even still#it’s not even about that you know#it’s about people (both fans and at times the actual devs) being mean when they really didn’t need to be#and the DA trenches are probably why literally no harassment phases me anymore lmao but#that’s not a good thing slskd it’s just a useful consequence I guess#so yeah idk#am I jealous that Solas fans get to have a better experience?#yeah I can’t deny I feel a bit of that#but I’m also just. idk tired and sad for what that time was. and also glad that it seems to be over#but also a little bitter that I had to go through it when it didn’t need to happen at all#idk just feeling a lot here in this chili’s tonight lmao#(why do I say that I don’t think my country even has chili’s)#ANYWAY#dragon age#veilguard spoilers
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do you think caleb gets (outrageously) turned on when he sees you doing something domestic??? laundry, dishes, folding his clothes, baking, sweeping the floor??? the most basic, innocuous domesticities???
because i do!!! i do think he gets turned on by it!!! and i think he hopes you get turned on by him performing domestic activities, too: tinkering with his car in the garage, fingernails framed with grease and oil-stained coveralls half undone and tied around his waist; or little blades of grass stuck to his glistening chest & twined through strands of umber hair; or his long, long legs stretched out on the bathroom tile, his torso buried in the sink cabinets as he fixes some leaky pipe???
because it’s almost perverted, just how aroused he becomes when he sees you being domestic—cock twitching hot n heavy in his jeans, eyes dark and lids weighted with lust, sweat beginning to prickle at the base of his skull as saliva collects beneath his tongue; a hunger sparked in his chest, something primal and raw and so incredibly deprived—and he needs you to feel it, too.
#caleb x reader#caleb x you#caleb smut#?????#he’s such a Man y’know what i mean?#a Man#anyway this is coming from my half delirious brain today was a fucking Day and i’m so glad it’s over#i just think he’s kinda gross and he gets off on weird things bcoz he’s so pent up!!!!!#and he spent so much of his life just watching you do NORMAL STUFF and it somehow became extremely attractive to him#*because* of that deprivation#inky.caleb
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Please dirkjake… sir… we are starving.. sir… please sir
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Yes yes yes… I’m sorry. I haven’t drawn them in forever it’s criminal really isn’t it
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#hs fanart#dirk strider#blooby posting#dirkjake#Jake English#Sorry DirkJake. I’m neglecting my roots#Don’t like this drawing ok ok ok ok ok#I’m so insecure over all my art looking like picture copies. It’s just not even fair what if I’m bad at not overdetailing#Be kind. You have to be kind today#Cannot stand his stupid face he’s too pretty and too detailed. Just ridiculous. You’re a fool
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Second-guessing
#been overthinking all day today and needed to draw how it feels lately#a bit of a vent ahead#it’s gotten really lonely and almost alienating in a way#and the fandom seems so vastly different#and in a way I dont really feel ok in#i do take the steps to avoid anything that i don’t want to see#but it just feels like what i do is pointless#like what i draw is pointless#i know the more platonic/familial themes in my art will always be overshadowed#but its been a harsh truth ive been hit with#and it’s kind of heartbreaking#i’m forever grateful for the reminders of how my art is like a breath of fresh air#but man is it difficult to not just quit entirely#because it always falls back to: why am I doing this? what’s the point?#i’m sorry I feel like such a whiny loser when I talk about things like this#it’s all jumbled and all over the place but to put it simply it’s been super lonely#i just needed to say something before it completely boiled over#im sorry again
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Thinking you have something to eat in the fridge & then finding out it’s not there, really be the last straw 😔
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HEY GUYS REMEMBER WHEN CHLOE WANTED MAX TO BE THE LAST THING SHE EVER SAW BEFORE DYING. BTW GUYS. REMEMBER WHEN CHLOE SAID “i’m never leaving you” AND “that’s okay we will, forever” AND “Max, i’ll always be with you”. GUYS GUYS GUYS HOLD ON REMEMBER WHEN CHLOE SPENT YEARS TALKING TO MAX IN HER DIARY BECAUSE SHE COULDN’T LET HER GO GUYS. AND WHEN SHE TOOK MAX BACK IN A HEARTBEAT BECAUSE SHE MISSED HER TOO MUCH. OH AND BTW REMEMBER HOW THEY WERE CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS AND GREW UP TOGETHER AND FELL IN LOVE AND ARE NOT LINKED ONLY BY A ‘trauma bond’. DO WE REMEMBER THAT. COLLECTIVELY.
#life is strange#lis#max caulfield#chloe price#pricefield#feeling like being mad today sorry#it’s just. you just don’t get them.#“max and chloe share a trauma bond” actually they didn’t bond over their trauma. btw#like they’re each other’s first ever friend#first ever best friend#first ever LOVE. (arguably)#like YES. it would make sense if they had only gotten close because they went thru the same trauma together#BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED.#and i need ppl to stop acting like it is#like how can you look at their relationship and not understand how DEEP it goes and just reduces it to#“they’re traumatized so it makes sense that they’d grow apart also chloe was a bad friend”#like just stop. you do not get it. gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.#ANYWAY I’M RAMBLING#life is strange double exposure spoilers
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Quick scribbly again. Casual wear Emmy? Yes.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#da manfred#my art#quick scribbly cos I’m feeling a bit off today sadly#dissociated a bit and then wandered#then got lightheaded and almost fell over mid convo#tired perhaps#but hehe Emmy with lesser layers#cos why not#he’s so buttoned up
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I’ve been interacting with new fanfic writers and also been seeing some folks share the fact that they care about hits, bookmarks, and comments on their work as if they’re embarrassed by that fact.
I’m just here to say you shouldn’t ever ever ever feel that way.
Writing, in this case fanfiction writing, can be a very lonely journey at times. If you’re brave enough to post online, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to receive validation. Because when you don’t, I think that’s the equivalent of playing or singing a song and nobody claps once you’re done. Imagine the Olympics or local sports arena or little league game with empty stands. Not a single soul cheering at the end of a concert. Nobody shows up to the art gallery. Nobody eats the baked goods you made with love at the party. All of those scenarios undoubtedly hurt.
Yes, you did it for yourself. Because you love this passion of yours. Because you’re working on your skills. Because you’re proving something to yourself.
But there’s a reason so many of humanity’s passions happen in front of a crowd.
Art is meant to be seen, music is meant to be heard, and yes, fanfiction is meant to be read.
We all want to know our art made an echo.
And yes, we all want to know somebody clapped for us. It validates us, it encourages us, it motivates us to keep going when we’re burnt out. It’s also just plain fun. All of these apply to world class musicians or athletes. For fan fiction writers, the audience cheering is as simple as a hit or a comment. It’s someone engaging with our work in a positive manner. So if you’re feeling that way and you feel bad about it—remember you’re human. And your passion and hobby is just as worthy of receiving audience reception as anybody else.
Fanfiction is a communal space, not just a solitary act. Give love back. Engage wherever and whenever you can. Open yourself to viewing this as a two way dialogue with other writers and readers. Give yourself grace and compassion when you’re disappointed. And when it’s your turn—don’t forget to clap.
#fanfiction#ao3 writer#fandom wank#fanfic writing#it’s an analogy I thought about today and just need to write down#your art shouldn’t exist in a vacuum#nobody’s art or passion should cuz it’s meant to be shared#I’m in my feels lately I’ve been writing fanfiction for over a year now after several year hiatus#and it’s been so wonderful BECAUSE of the engagement like it’s how I’ve made new friends#and that’s what makes this experience worth it
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i will never shut up about jon promising to protect sansa in 6x09 and then the parallel of lyanna begging ned to promise to protect jon IN THE NEXT EPISODE. something something “if the day should ever come when your lord father was forced to chose between honor on the one hand and those he loves on the other what would he do?” and we KNOW ned picked love. ned loved his sister so much he lied to his king and bff to protect jon. ned loved his daughter so much he sacrificed his honor and duty to the realm and lied to protect sansa.
the writers intentionally put sansa at the center of jon and dany’s conflict. sansa’s not in king’s landing during the battle in 8x05 or 8x06 but she still haunts the narrative, her name is brought up by FOUR different characters. jon was ready to die if dany saw him as a threat to the throne. “i'm tired of fighting it’s all i've done since i left home.” and the only way to get through to him and to get him to fight again and to kill dany is to mention sansa and how she’ll never be safe with dany around. “if we don’t take back the north we’ll never be safe i want you to help me but i'll do it myself if i have to.”
and sansa is so used to being alone. she spent months waiting for robb to rescue her from king's landing, and it never happened. robb chose the north, his duty, over her. and she's beaten for the north's independence and then sold to two different families who stole the north from her. and then she finally finds help in theon and brienne and podrick but she doesn't feel completely safe again until she's in jon's arms. but even then she's still ready for more disappointment, to be separated from her family again because “life is not a song” and “there are no heroes.” but jon isn’t robb. “jon isn’t tormund. jon isn’t davos, or the red woman, or stannis for that matter. jon is jon.”
“where will you go? where will we go. i won’t ever let him touch you again. we need to trust each other. until i return the north is yours. touch my sister and i’ll kill you myself. what you did for her is the only reason i’m not killing you. i’m her family too. what about everyone else? what about the other people who think they know what’s good? i’ll protect you, i promise. no one can protect me, no one can protect anyone.” but jon proves her wrong, he can protect her. he will keep her safe. because when his day comes and he has to chose between love and duty, he chooses her. there still are heroes in her story and their story isn't over yet.
#jonsa#i have such a love hate relationship with that scene#because it makes jon look so bad that he tries justifying dany's actions#and he needs to be like convinced to take down a mass murderer to prevent more death#but the parallel to maester aemon's lesson (despite d&d trying to reverse it and say duty is the death of love - so dumb btw) is chef's kis#*kiss#ned protected lyanna’s son and lyanna’s son goes on to protect his daughter#also robb my beloved and my beloathed#my boy king#he chose his duty to his people over his love for his sister but then turns around and choses talisa/jeyne over his duty to the freys#also don’t get me started on how sansa saw jon making the same mistake she made in s1 in trusting joffrey#she’s not her father. no she’s much prettier#and she saved him from being a political hostage by telling the whole world the truth about his identity#*political hostage or even from death#vs ned saving jon by lying to the whole world about his identity#something poetic about sansa revealing ned’s lie to protect jon with the truth#anyway jonsa still giving me brainworms in 2024?? more likely than you think#i’m really going thru it today lmao#mine
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Me: I am actually decent at my job, I am responsible, I’ve spent years acquiring my knowledge and skills within my field, and I put a lot of thought and time into my work
Also me, after receiving literally one (1) angry email:
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#cecil blogs her life#I hate it here#really hoped I was over handling these things badly but steps forward and back I guess#I’d bother me normally too but I’m so fucking stressed out at work rn#I literally sat on the floor and had an overwhelmed cry for half a minute before picking myself up again#…I’m working from home today btw. I didn’t just sit and sob in the middle of the office#well not yet anyway
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