#i’m slightly in shock
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books i read in january 📚
astrid parker doesn't fail by ashley herring blake - 4.5 stars
anxious people by fredrik backman - 4.75 stars
shadow & bone by leigh bardugo - 3.75 stars
lessons in chemistry by bonnie garmus - 5 stars
siege & storm by leigh bardugo - 3.5 stars
red dragon by thomas harris - 1 star
ruin & rising by leigh bardugo - 4 stars
romeo and juliet by william shakespeare - 3.5 stars
convenience store woman by sayaka murata - 3 stars
small things like these by claire keegan - 4 stars
alice in wonderland by lewis carroll - 3.75 stars
black widow: shield's most wanted - 4.25 stars
black widow: the name of the rose - 4.75 stars
the history of mary prince by mary prince - 3 stars
brighton rock by graham greene - 4 stars
hook, line, and sinker by tessa bailey - 4 stars
five survive by holly jackson - 3.5 stars
ethel and ernest by raymond briggs - 3.75 stars
the midnight library by matt haig - 5 stars
#i read nineteen books this month#which i have never managed to do before#i’m slightly in shock#january wrap up#han talks books
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Back at it again with another theory: What if Lucanis’ betrayal wasn’t a betrayal at all?
(obviously, spoilers below the cut)
During The Wigmaker Job, we have some dialogue between Illario and Lucanis about their position within both the Crows and the Dellamorte family. Illario wants Caterina to step down so he can take the coveted First Talon spot. Lucanis reassures him that his time is coming, to which Illario makes a snide comment about whether his cousin would ever go against their grandmother’s wishes. When they continue the conversation after the job, Illario states that Lucanis is the potential heir, that he’s her favorite, and that he’s unlikely to say no to her. Lucanis doesn’t argue, only insists that he doesn’t want to be First Talon, and that he hopes she’ll see reason before that. It’s mentioned again in Eight Little Talons - Caterina favors Lucanis. It’s well-known enough among the Crows that Viago and Teia discuss it in front of her (not on purpose, but she doesn’t deny it). He’s her prodigy through and through.
In the opening scene for the Lucanis quest in Veilguard, Caterina is poised, as you’d expect of the First Talon. She’s certain that the body they buried wasn’t her grandson, that it had been altered with blood magic. She doesn’t pose it as a theory, though: she poses it as a fact. It could, of course, merely be her confidence, but there’s another very unusual aspect to the scene – everyone else discusses how Lucanis was clearly betrayed, that someone must have sold him out in order for the Venatori to capture him. Caterina is the only one in that room who never speaks on it. She doesn’t ask for justice, doesn’t mention vengeance, never acknowledges that her grandson was sold out by someone he trusted – perhaps because he wasn’t.
What if, when Caterina comes to him with a plan, with an impossible request, he’s still her favorite prodigal grandchild, and he still does whatever she asks? She’s had him tortured before as a child, has tortured and starved and beaten him herself before, because it makes him stronger and more resistant to it in the future. He says in The Wigmaker Job that he used to hate her for it, but now he understands. He justifies it. All Crows justify it, because they have to - if they don’t, then the cruelty wasn’t for survival’s sake, and their suffering meant nothing. Perhaps he doesn’t even question it. When Caterina tells him that she has a job for him, he takes it.
What if the contract has a caveat? Sure, Calivan must die by his hand by the end of it, a little treat for a job well done, but what if his primary mission is reconnaissance, is discovery? The Venatori are using blood magic to torture and corrupt prisoners. It would behoove the Crows to find out what it entails and how to resist it, before it’s turned back on them. It would have to be someone so deeply, unabashedly loyal to her that when she asked them to infiltrate a Venatori prison, expecting torture at best, their own death at worst, they’d take the job anyway, no questions asked - someone Caterina can trust, certainly, but also someone who has never once said no to her.
And Lucanis has always been a loyal grandson.
#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age: the veilguard#datv#datv spoilers#veilguard spoilers#da posting#maybe it’s also just because she thinks it would make him stronger and that’s how she always justifies it to herself because she’s evil!!!!#she’s MICRODOSING her GRANDSON with BLOOD TORTURE and DEMONS to fashion him into A BETTER WEAPON#I keep hearing people be like ‘oh there’s a moment in the lucanis storyline where I GASPED’#and other than like ‘he was dead the entire time’ I’m like…… what would be that shocking#and you know what would be that shocking??#if he put himself through it on purpose#envisioning a line where he’s like ‘when Caterina told me to go I didn’t ask questions because I’m a good crow!!!!!’#(also I think that would REALLY give a good bite to his demon being SPITE of all things)#also also I still think that Illario kills caterina (if she’s actually dead) but y’know what?#if he does GOOD FOR HIM#also lucanis just happening to be bursting out of his cell when you get there…. SUSPECT#was he just ready to break out at any time? if so why did he stay and get tortured for a YEAR?#why were the guards so afraid of him?? what was he capable of???#‘you’re a crow’ or ‘but you’re not a crow’ ohhhh so you were expecting a rescue?#oh I am CONNECTING the DOTS (I haven’t connected shit) I’VE CONNECTED THEM#voelene#your caterina + illario post started these wheels turning and I am eternally grateful#also tho did update this slightly because I forgot about their conversation at the end of TWJ#also got so wrapped up in my hatred of caterina that I failed to consider another emotionally devastating option:#that lucanis was the one who wanted to go and caterina covered for him#now THAT’S got some bite to it too#and maybe Lucanis volunteering to take on a demon is why it doesn’t possess him fully#it’s like a wynne/anders thing it’s symbiotic
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unpopular opinion but I think all that remains is one of the most clumsily written quests in the game
#obviously there’s like. an attempt made to set it up. but it does NOT work imo there is not enough set before or follow up after for what#should be a weighty and pivotal quest. Quentin’s cartoonish was doesnt help either#may be slightly biased bc I was spoiled for it so I never had that emotional shock to it but I feel like I’m the only person in the fandom#who isn’t crying over it I’m like 😐 bye mom. every time I play
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why does everyone on tumblr hate gbbo… i get paul is a dick but that’s what makes it so funny…
#gbbo#great british bake off#bake off#like i get it if you don’t like the show#mexican week and the s’mores thing were fucked but if you don’t like the show you don’t have to watch it…#i get constructive criticism but it?? just feels weird??? to log on here and everyone is calling them horrible??#like yes paul is a goblin but prue is trying her best :(#also i don’t see the problem with slightly incomplete recipes#i could do without them but it lets the judges assess the baker’s instincts#ahhh ok rant over#i’m really not trying to be rude i just get annoyed when everything i see is negative#the show is really quite good#there’s some sections we all shock-laugh at (rip 2022 mexican week) and i do think they should stop doing country weeks#please i just want one show that isn’t bad by somebody’s standards#I JUST WANT TO BE SAFE WITH MY ONE COMFORT SHOW PLEASE
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My ass watched Inception back in whatever year that was and was like “hmm yes, saito x eames, I’m sure this is what all the boys and girlies are going to slash” and well. I was wrong!! But the point is, I’ve always been this way
#text#And my runner up ship takeaway was Arthur x Cobb btw#so there’s never been any hope for me#I’m just reminded of this bc I watched a video about Inception just now lol#I was shocked—SHOCKed and distraught to learn that Arthur/Eames was the big ship for the inception fandom#sorry babes that’s boring#and like you’re gonna be boring ?? about inception?#14 yo me (yes I put off watching the movie for a couple years ok) checked ffnet and was Disappointed#Tom hardy is also just slightly ugly to me tho so like idk#ugly like in a ‘handsome’ white man way#like i can tell people find him handsome but he is ugly. to me#Joseph Gordon levitt also. white toast.#so if you put their characters together my hater instinct is activated. so i realise that probably contributed toward my disdain#yes im living out my teenage salt rn#walking down memory lane
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Oh lol hi guys. I ran over a kangaroo today and totaled my car I’ve had for 5 days! Gotta go kms bye!
#I’m like physically fine#the craziest thing is I was so shocked at first bc it seemed like absolutely nothing happened to the car#just like one rubber protective guy on the bumper slightly askew#I sobbed for an hour over killing an animal took it to a mechanic#and BAM mechanic is like ha ha you can’t drive this anywhere#they fixed it enough so I’m not totally stranded and can drive it but#it has no structural integrity at all and I was told like for safety reasons#I need to trash it once I get there#I’m going to fcking die
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the other day i was trying to remember if ooo has performed chrome hearts at the concert i saw and the way i made sure they did was because i remembered screaming “OUCH OUCH OUCH” until my throat hurt
#i’m pretty sure it already hurt at that point but#need to learn all the fan chants for next time also omgg i felt so bad not knowing any#i like slightly knew dopamine but i was in such a state of like panic and shock i couldn’t even make a sound atp#onlyoneof#ooo#ooof#lyon#lowkey unsure whether to tag this cos why is it worded so bad i make no sense
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if i lived in the hannibal nbc universe i would find hannibal and meet him and before he even got a word in i would just start barking loud as fuck in his face idgaf if he kills me where i stand i just think his reaction would be so priceless
#and when i say barking i mean top of my lungs shaking like a rabid dog foaming at the mouth i’m gone i’m an animal#ideally would find him in a grocery store and do it there because then i could really catch him by surprise#i know he would never show genuine open shock on his face but i’ll be damned if i’m not going to try#just need to see his eyebrows raised just a little. need him to shuffle back from me slightly#hannibal#hannibal lecter#hannibal nbc
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I actually had plans to draw smthn for ruikasa week so everyone needs to clap and cheer like I’m a really stupid dog doing a trick for the first time if I manage to post it a month later
#listen I have to watch waltz videos and shit for pose references that’s so much effort#& I have beef with my style rn… if I finish it it will be a miracle#‘the disability & mental issues do not impact me at all’ -> sleeps for 24 hours after 1 (one) slightly busy weekend#i normally get like 5 hours of sleep a night & have horrible insomnia I’m shocked I slept at all#mine
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learning more about his past soooo depressing. but so good i want more actually.
#my slightly shocked face when i read the words fucking#i say let him say it more!#and was the backstory kinda predictable? i mean yeah#but also it’s good so i’m not disappointed i wanna know more information just funsies.#twc spoilers#the wayhaven chronicles#adam du mortain
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Actually landing the interview for your dream job that you’ve been working towards for years.
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In (the suburbs and outskirts of) Atlanta a lot of streets only have sidewalk on one side if at all. Many roads have fences or what I can _assure_ you is impassible underbrush directly next to it. Brambles, kudzu, poison ivy. There is, in many parts of many cities, *nowhere to walk*.
“America IS walkable, you’re all just lazy” my childhood home was an hour from the nearest hospital (by car)
#moving to california was a shock#wym there’s sidewalk on both sides#i was used to crossing the street bc the sidewalk had ended#i am not making this up#they’ve got a lot of forest there#which is great#but it often begins right by the road#sometimes there’s not even a curb#some of my european friends have the potential to unlock my rage by saying these things#had a german girl tell me as if it were a super shocking story#that in rural new york#she took a shuttle somewhere and there was no shuttle back#i blinked at her#and???#she thought the absence of well networked transport#was SHOCKING#she expected horrified gasps#i exaggerate only slightly#she s#she thought it was insane#no one!!! ever!!! built!! trains there!!!#and cars r profitable so they likely wont#ok…. i’m dine#done
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I love my mv edits but god it’s hard to choose only a couple of scene 😭
#that’s why am only doing one cause I have to continue my little cousin’s gift 😭 nsnajsn#two***#especially big groups (over 5) because if wish I could put a solo shot of all the members#but I prefer story over group you know what I mean ?#and if one of the members shot is important to the story especially if there’s multiple#I feel bad to maybe not put some members#especially if it’s least popular members#I don’t care about people opinion but I don’t want them to think I’m one of those stans 🙄#I got slightly traumatized by 3 girls once bdjsbsns#I was at a book fair(?) and had my 🐝TS shirt and they ask us our bias#and my friend were like oh it’s J*K and T*a*ehyung and they rolled their eyes saying “’’of course it’s the popular ones’’ laughed and left#leaving us shock it still hunts me everytime I see my shirts (I should sell them) like what ????#how much we bet they became fan when they got popular while me and me friend were there since 2014 when they almost disbanded 😭 jdbsjbdj#they were like 15-16 too and we were like around 18-22 😭#anyway this is not the subject jfbsjdjs#alex.txt
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Anyway, thinking about how Bruce’s mom tendencies bleed over around the League.
He pulls out a Barbie pink scrunchie from his endless utility belt.
Oliver is very sure he’s seen it in Spoiler’s blonde mane before. He wordlessly secures Diana’s hair in a ponytail before she jumps into battle.
Barry skins his knee while running, which, considering, is pretty severe. Definitely not the kind of wound you can treat with Gray Ghost bandages.
“I’m NEVER taking this off.”
“Okay, gross?”
“Shut up, Hal, you don’t even wash your suit, you just make a new one every time!”
“I’m allergic to laundry detergent, everybody knows that, BARRY.”
Bruce does not tolerate their fighting for more than 15 minutes at a time. “I will count to 3.”
Hal is quite literally flabbergasted when, after a particularly rough mission, Batman walks over to him and gently places a plate of fruits before him.
“Hal,” in that rain soft voice. “Fruit.”
“…Thanks?”
He just walks off. Like it’s nothing.
“…Did he just do something nice for me? Everybody saw that, right? You’re all witnesses. “
Everyone’s equal parts shocked and equal parts losing their shit. Clark’s eyes are just slightly red.
“I need to take a nap.”
#THEY’RE HIS FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!#HE CARES ABT THEM!!!!!!!!!!!#so many questions. where did Bruce get the fruit. did he bring it prior to this? how did he know Hal likes kiwis? and how did he know#he can only eat them star shaped?#bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#batman#batdad#mom friend bruce wayne#diana prince#hal jordan#barry allen#clark kent#the justice league#justice league
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this day doesn’t quite feel real. honestly, life at this moment doesn’t feel real.
#i’m shocked that i’m here#i’m shocked all of this went down the way it did#i’m trying to have faith in fate and the universe and god and whatever else is guiding my life right now#i’m just not feeling even slightly normal#i don’t feel alive rn
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Dude. I felt like life sucked and that I wasn’t worth it. So I was like, I should try and find some posts with inspiring words about me being worth it. My thought was self love as the tag because I was trying to feel better about myself and my life. And then. And then I see some girl without a shirt on.
Excuse me? Wtf? I just wanted to feel better and then I see half naked women. (They were advertising their OF, which is fine, get that bag) but like I wanted something to be like even when life is hard you’ll survive or something cause even if it’s cheesy it’s still helpful.
I don’t care about the women. I’m just confused. Why is the self love tag the same one for tits? Am I missing something?
#women are amazing#but like#I was slightly suicidal#naked women weren’t helpful#actually#they were#their appearance during my you matter search shocked me enough to shake me out of it#i’m still confused#why that tag?#i don’t understand#am i stupid#is it because I’m asexual#is this a sex thing?#im mentally ill#and#I guess I’m oblivious
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