#i’m scared for fearne

[hhoshiii]

i finally broke down and drew ashton

[scriptmyworld]

so if liliana can banish ira to the fey realm can fearne get banished to the fey realm as well? potentially permanently??

[callowmooree]

as someone who just caught up on 4sd…. i’m so excited to see the groups’ dynamic tomorrow.

ITS GONNA BE JUICY AND AMAZING

This 4 sided dive answered a lot of needed questions. So happy to get some more insider info about what's been going on in this amazing story.

And this is the Callowmoore angst I love. Ashton does not even know how it could be possible for Fearne to like them, and they are not even sure why they kissed her.

THE CRUMBS. NOM NOMNOM NOM

Lol..... Travis JUST found out about the Callowmoore chemistry. It's just funny to me.

[annemarieyeretzian]

keyleth exclaiming “I am so glad you’re back and alive, oh, wow. I was so nervous and I’m so proud. I was scared, but I believed you could do it!” (bonus: fearne putting her hand out to keyleth and keyleth taking it 🥹) and orym telling keyleth soberly “it came at a cost.”

[unicyclehippo]

Happy new year, i hope 2024 is kind to you. For the word prompt structure:)

a very short snippet for ep97 of cr

//

Fearne paused as Laudna did, their arms still gently looped together. It felt so much better that way like they were on a garden walk instead of the creepiest tunnel ever.

Her tail waggled anxiously when Laudna frowned and tilted her head. Her eyes were still that glossy, sightless black—vision lent to her familiar ahead. The odd purple gleam, faint and rarely there, was a reflection from Imogen’s lights. Had to be.

‘Laudna?’ Fearne stroked her shoulder, gave one of the golden chains of her corset a gentle tug while she had the chance. (Boy, they were really well attached. That would be some effort to take.) ‘Laudna? What is it?’

Laudna’s arm spasmed, tensed. Her free hand flung out and knocked painfully against the stone wall; she didn’t seem to notice, didn’t seem to care, only placed her palm more gently on the stone to hold herself steady. A delicate tremor ran through her, like she was cold. Freezing.

Fearne bit her lip. Then stepped closer, and wrapped her arms around her.

‘Laudna,’ she said again. Slid a warm hand beneath the heavy cloak. ‘Come back. What is it?’

Like an ice statue thawing, Laudna slipped more fully into Fearne’s arms. Tilted her head until it rested against her shoulder. The sharp chilly point of her nose grazed Fearne’s pulse, which jumped at their closeness. She couldn’t help it! Her friend was hot! Well, cold. But gorgeous, in a deliciously dark kind of way.

‘Are you alright? Did you see something?’ Fearne lifted her other hand to twirl one of Laudna’s flyaway strands. There was a little flinch as she neared Laudna’s ear—so little, she wouldn’t have noticed if Laudna weren’t half buried in her bosom—and she couldn’t help but lean in, press warm lips to Laudna’s forehead.

They stood there for a moment. The rest of the party was following, in the slow cautious way that the deep shadow forced. For this moment, they were alone, unseen.

Fearne wondered if that was a comfort. Laudna liked shadows. Didn’t she? It would be awfully sad if she didn’t, given everything about her.

‘Fearne?’

‘Mhm?’

‘I do love you so,’ Laudna croaked. ‘We - I don’t say it enough. I don’t show it enough. I hope you know.’

Fire scorched the walls of Fearne’s lungs, hot and sweet, licked up the length of her spine.

‘I know.’

‘You do?’

‘Of course.’ There was a lot she wanted to say—like, once when she was really little a monster made it into Ligament Manor and Nana had torn it to shreds and eaten every last bit of it and it was the safest she’d ever felt. So she did, adding, ‘I think you’re a lot like her. Super beautiful too.’

‘Not…a monster?’

Fearne shrugged. ‘If you mean evil, no.’ She scritched at Laudna’s back between her shoulder blades. If she took the time to carefully feel if there was a matching lump of scar tissue to the one on her sternum, well. Laudna didn’t notice.

Laudna sighed. Snuggled closer. ‘There’s a structure. A room, up ahead,’ she whispered, almost sing-song, tone sweet and sad and scared. She sounded so young. ‘With bodies. Dangling. On ro- chains.’

Fearne let the curl of hair drop from her finger and closed Laudna in a tight, warm hug. The fire came up from her lungs to her throat, but it didn’t feel as good anymore.

‘Don’t look,’ Fearne said, demanded, asked. Her voice trembled. ‘Don’t look at them anymore. Okay? Please?’

Laudna shook her head. ‘I must.’

‘No-‘

‘I must keep us all safe. Whatever the cost.’

Fearne felt the flame in her chest tremble. It always did, in a strong cold wind. Pushed in a direction. But she always found her way.

‘Okay.’ Fearne pressed another kiss to her forehead. ‘Laudna? I’m here. We’re all here. You’re not alone this time.’

[beauregardlionett]

we made peace with the empty hourglass (the word limit's gone and you came home)

AO3 Link

It wasn’t often that Fearne was the one awake and Orym the one out cold. Yet, here they were—Orym fast asleep with the fingers of one hand tangled in her leg fur, and Fearne on watch with Chetney. 

Since they had returned from Ruidus, Fearne thought they might catch a break, maybe travel on their own whims for a while with the chance to breathe. But they had been so busy, leaving almost no time to think or talk unless it was regarding their current goal. Earlier that evening, they had finally completed their latest mission after several grueling days of sleuthing and fighting. After all that, the party decided to extend their return journey so they could rest and relax for a few days.

Which landed them here, with Orym deeply asleep for once. Fearne had watched him wear himself to the bone, had borne witness to fresh scars and new fears that would never be addressed. She loved her little Halfling so dearly, but sometimes she wished he would let her protect him the same way he protected all of them. It seemed the least she could do was to sit sentinel over him like this while his guard was down.

The night was quiet—peaceful. Fearne drank in the steady melody of Chetney carving away at a new project, underscored by the soft, slumbering breaths of Fearne’s friends. However, beneath this gentle chorus, Fearne picked up on a sudden, discordant note.

Straightening, careful not to jostle Orym, Fearne’s ears flicked as her eyes scanned the shadowed trees beyond the light of their campfire. Chetney’s carving paused as he glanced up at Fearne in silent question.

Snap.

Fearne’s head whipped around, staring off into the shadows on her left. Chetney tracked the sound as well, eyes sharp and carving forgotten. His knuckles were white where he tightened his grip around his chisel.

She caught sight of movement just outside the glow of the firelight, and opened her mouth to call out, to scare off whatever or whoever dared approach them.

“Fearne? Chet?” 

Whatever Fearne was about to say choked off into a startled gasp, her heart leaping in her chest as the shadowed figure stepped into the light.

“Dorian?” Fearne said, voice thick with joyful disbelief. He grinned at her even as he pressed a finger to his lips, his gaze darting around to their sleeping companions. Dorian looked road weary, but otherwise unharmed. He looked stronger, too—a little sharper at the edges, more confident in the line of his posture.

Fearne had missed him so much.

“Holy crap,” Chetney breathed, grinning as he leapt to his feet and threw his arms around Dorian’s leg. “How did you find us, you little shit?”

Dorian laughed softly, reaching down to pat the top of Chetney’s head, looking unbearably fond. 

“It’s a long story,” Dorian whispered. “One I’m happy to tell in the morning after I’ve slept and greeted everyone.”

Chetney released Dorian’s leg with a half-hearted grumble about having to wait, but went back to his project without further complaint. Dorian stepped around a slumbering Ashton to sink down next to Fearne and fall into her sideways hug. Fearne wrapped him up tight in her arms, content to never let him go again if she had any say in the matter. She let him pull away, though, only so she could get a good look at his face and hold his hand with ease.

“I missed you,” Fearne said, voice soft and wobbly. “We all did.”

“And I’ve missed you,” Dorian said. “The Crown Keepers send their regards, by the way.”

“How’s Opal?” Fearne asked, tightening her grip on Dorian’s hand. Her worry for their beloved friend was something she couldn’t put off or ignore until morning. “Is she doing alright?”

“She’s as well as we could expect her to be. Still annoying the shit out of Lolth, of course.”

Fearne relaxed minutely, laughing softly. “That’s good.”

She glanced around at the group, making sure they weren’t disturbing anyone with their hushed conversation. When she looked back at Dorian, however, she found him staring down at her opposite hip, his expression wistful and complicated. Fearne followed his eye line to Orym’s tiny fingers, barely visible over the top of her thigh. The rest of him remained hidden in the draping folds of her cape he was using as a blanket.

“How is he?” Dorian whispered, voice almost indiscernible over the fire and the lull of slumbering breaths.

Fearne hesitated. They never got the chance to tell Dorian the full scope of what had occurred since he left with his brother. He didn’t know both of them had died, the details of their mission on Ruidus, or that they had been separated following the events at the Key. In turn, they knew little of what Dorian had been through with his brother and the Crown Keepers. There was so much to say in response to such a simple question.

“Tired,” Fearne settled on, and felt exactly how lackluster an answer it was the moment she said it. Being able to say as much as she wanted after being constricted to twenty-five words for so long was not such a simple transition, it seemed. “A lot has happened, and he shoulders things he shouldn’t—just like always.”

Dorian’s face did something complicated as he kept staring at Orym’s hand.

“He missed you,” Fearne said at length, smiling sadly when Dorian’s gaze shot up to meet her own. “He tried to message you every day, even when we knew the Sending Stone wasn’t working.”

Dorian’s expression twisted into something pained as he huffed out a strained exhale, looking away. It took him a long moment to find his composure, but eventually he turned back to Fearne and spoke in a watery tone, “so did I.”

Fearne reached out and pulled him back into her side, sighing happily at the realization that she finally had both her boys here beside her.

Orym made a quiet noise beneath her cloak and shifted, fingers tightening in her fur. Dorian pulled back enough to peer down at him, expression bright and hesitant at once. Fearne moved her arm, giving Dorian the freedom to move around to her other side and shift the cloak away from Orym.

“Fearnie?” Orym mumbled, still half asleep. “Is it my watch?”

“Not quite,” Fearne said, her voice wobbling with emotion. Orym, ever perceptive, startled awake at her tone, concern lining his features before he was even fully upright. He opened his mouth, likely to ask if she was okay, before he caught sight of Dorian in his periphery and froze. Orym turned to Dorian and stared at him for a suspended moment of absolute silence.

“Hello,” Dorian whispered after a pause long enough to leave Fearne wondering if they would ever say anything. He smiled at Orym, shaky and hesitant, but intensely joyful.

“Dorian?” Orym said, his voice strained as it cracked over the syllables of his name. “Is this real?”

“Yes,” Dorian breathed, laughing wetly. “Quite real.”

“How…I mean–when did–?” Orym cut himself off with an unsteady exhale before launching himself into Dorian’s chest and wrapping him up in a hug so tight it almost looked painful. Fearne grinned, wide and aching, as Dorian gathered Orym closer and pressed a firm kiss to the top of Orym’s head. Both of their shoulders were shaking—from tears or joy Fearne couldn’t be sure. But she stared at them and her heart was full.

“You didn’t answer last time I messaged you,” Fearne heard Orym say where he had his face smushed into Dorian’s shoulder. “I thought you…I thought the worst.”

“I’m sorry,” Dorian said, voice pained. “I had already tried using the Stone that day when you called. And then I tried again the next day, and it was like the Stone never worked at all.”

“We were back on Ruidus by then,” Orym said with a quiet sniffle. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Dorian pressed another kiss to Orym’s head and glanced up at Fearne, his smile tired but real. “Me too.”

Fearne reached over and placed a hand on Orym’s back, her other cupping Dorian’s cheek. She had her boys, safe and whole.

“You should sleep,” Fearne whispered, pulling back to spread out her cloak beside her again, patting it invitingly. Orym made a soft, panicked noise before Dorian could move, making both Dorian and Fearne freeze.

“Orym?” Dorian said, trying to sound calm despite the concern on his face. Fearne watched him smooth a hand down Orym’s back without trying to get Orym to release his hold.

“Don’t leave.”

It was clear to Fearne that Orym had meant to say it like a question instead of the painful plea it ended up being. Her heart broke a little with the realization that he was scared—their tiny, unflappable guardian admitting a fraction of his loneliness.

“I won’t,” Dorian said with fierce conviction. “I will be here come sunrise, Orym—I promise.”

He glanced up at Fearne with a mix of emotions on his face as he clung to Orym. She patted her cloak again, gesturing for him to lie down beside her while she continued her shift with Chetney. Dorian, without releasing his hold on Orym, curled up on top of the soft fabric and pressed his forehead against Fearne’s hip. He tucked Orym’s head beneath his chin and exhaled at length. Fearne buried her fingers in Dorian’s hair, scratching gently at his scalp.

“Love,” Fearne whispered.

“Love,” Dorian responded immediately, his smile curling up at her.

“Love, love,” Orym mumbled from where he still refused to part from Dorian. “Missed you.”

Dorian didn’t respond, but Fearne saw the way he tightened his hold on Orym and curled up just a little more.

Big spoon, middle spoon, little spoon—a complete set once again.

[zalou]

As for some reason this whole episode was extremely controversial (and I dunno why, the players know these characters much better than us, they are just doing what their characters would do, whether it is the “right thing” or not), here are my thoughts on C3 E78.

I think every reaction of the characters was just a valid emotional response to something stressful that happened. Even if hypocritical (others have also lost control and done stupid shit etc), it is logical to be angry/stressed/scared because your friend almost blew himself up. Or DID blow himself up. We saw that happen, that is incredibly traumatic. And I think the reason why everyone is more emotional this time around is because they were almost completely helpless and having to watch Ashton do this to himself, (at least in their eyes) voluntarily.

They don’t understand why he did what he did and their emotions react to the conclusions they subconsciously make about Ashtons motives. Of course Laudna thinks it is a betrayal, a voice in her head has been talking about it to her non-stop. Of course FCG thinks it was a selfish action, because he doesn’t understand how Ashton’s insecurities and anxiety manifests (and of course he doesn’t, because Ashton hasn’t talked about it). And of course everyone was angry, because Ashton apparently (in their eyes) thought leaving them, possibly dying, was worth taking the risk on this unstable power. And I think none of those things were actually Ashton’s intention, but that is what the stressed-out emotional response was in the other characters around (to the best of how I can unpack it, at least).

And yes, Fearne definitely has partial blame for what happened but that doesn’t mean her emotional response to being scared out of her mind is invalid. She was scared to death because of almost having lost Ashton because of something stupid they did (keep in mind, Fearne is bad with consequences so she probably didn’t even think of how bad this could all turn out) and her reaction to that fear is “how dare you almost die on me, I’m gonna kill you”, which I think is a valid reaction (not the killing of course, but the overwhelming anger and aggression yes). She might have to be just as angry towards herself as she is towards Ashton, but her anger in itself isn’t invalid. And I think she is also angry at herself, that she let this all happen.

And for how emotional everything was, I think some of the characters managed to defuse the situation pretty well. They got emotions for everyone down pretty quick and made a rational decision on how to move forward now trust has been broken on many sides. So I think all of our bells hells are going to be fine after some conversations.

Anyways, I think the role play was fucking great (I missed Liam, he would have shined here). For the characters (and us) to understand where all these reactions came from, they are just gonna have to have a big talk about it. Do some development in their relationships. Get more emotionally mature. Hopefully this nana morri resort is gonna give all of them some time to work this out. A lot of mistakes were made to let all of this happen, and to make sure they don’t happen again these idiot characters I love so much gotta TALK TO EACHOTHERRRR. TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS YOU LOVABLE IDIOTS.

Anyways, that was my little (long) piece on the situation.

[paperglader]

in this episode Imogen:

Took off her circlet. You know, that one that finally gave her peace and quiet, that soothed her constant pain and anxiety, and that gave her the confidence and energy to get back to fully feeling comfortable on her own skin after years. That’s the one. She just took it off.

Told laudna that she was disgusted by the fact that delilah was always watching them. You know, something that laudna fully has no control over whatsoever.

Admitted that she felt like she’s “tainted” and that the gods have been ignoring her for her entire life, in spite of her trying over and over to reach them. So she doesn’t really want to save them.

Mentioned being genuinely scared of meeting Liliana again. Totally not a problem, I’m sure nothing bad will happen there. Specially not in the next couple of episodes.

Said some unfair stuff to fearne, that I genuinely think is coming from somewhere else entirely, and I hope we circle back to eventually.

It’s safe to say that I am officially ✨worried✨ about the farmgirl

[mimymomo]

It’s truly astounding how the people belittling Fearne’s feelings and growth the most are Fearne fans themselves.

Fearne/Ashley made it explicitly clear that she didn’t want the shard. She stated that it multiple times and went even further to explain that it scared her and TOLD ASHTON that she believed they should take it. They willingly went along with Ashton’s plan because she believed it was the right thing to do but as time went on, she grew more and more concerned but still believed in Ashton who kept telling her it it would be okay, downplayed the consequences (saying his death would be a funny story to tell and that’s all as if them dying wouldn’t be horrible and affect Fearne/the others because they genuinely can’t believe that his life is worth that pain) and said that she promised him.

Fearne said multiple times that Ashton didn’t manipulate her. Ashton wasn’t hiding their intentions from her — he told her the plan, they knew (some of) the risks and Fearne said she went along with it because she thought it was the right move. You’d think Ashton had a gun to her head by the way the fandom is talking about the whole thing!

Yes Ashton was pushing and they never should have kept Fearne from telling the group the truth but she made her choice and it was a bad one out of love and care (and no Ashton did not manipulate her feelings/attraction to them to convince her: Ashton did not and still does not know the full extent of what Fearne felt towards them and when he kissed her, she had already agreed to the ritual and the kiss only made her really second guess).

Now am I saying that she’s equally culpable as Ashton? NO!

Am I saying she owes Ashton an apology? GOD NO! And thank god Ashton told her she didn’t owe them anything, he put her in such a bad situation and that was 95% on them. THEY FUCKED UP BAD AND DESERVED ALL THE TONGUE LASHINGS THEY GOT!

But the way the fandom presents the issue is as if Ashton was this maniacal, evil manipulator who preyed on Fearne solely because she was too good to say no instead of viewing the whole situation as it really is: a man who is fucked up asking someone they trust to join in on their stupidity without fully realizing how much danger, trauma and suffering he is going to put her through.

We can acknowledge that Fearne made a mistake by being complicit and used Ashton plans with the shard to justify (run from) her not having to take it due to her own personal beliefs and fears and use that acknowledgment to further show her growth as a person who will never let herself get thrusted back into that position again. That she can’t blindly trust and follow someone’s self destructive path if it’s gonna lead to her being hurt. This is a good thing! Let Fearne learn and grow from this! That’s what the whole Chetney discussion is about: no one’s blaming her, Ashley’s not dodging anything or protecting Taliesin/Ashton — this is Fearne being honest, taking agency, calling out her actions and growing.

Fearne messed up and was complicit in going along with the plan AND she has every right to be upset with Ashton for what they did and she deserved her apology are two statements that can (and should) coexist!

I’m so tired of people vilifying Ashton and making him come off as this terrible and evil individual when that’s not what this was. They aren’t. And then saying that he was throwing a pity party when in reality they’re coming to the realization that his behavior is his own fault and they can’t keep running and blaming others for the actions he takes and then apologizing and taking responsibility and ownership for what happened and saying they want to be better in the future.

The same fandom that worships the ground Percy steps on despite all the bs he put VM through, actually tried to argue that Essek — a character who due to his own hubris stole a priceless and ancient artifact that was essential to his country’s religious identity and nearly started a whole ass war — wasn’t a war criminal because the Geneva Conventions didn’t exist in Exandria (yes this actually happened to me at one point), seems to be unable to handle Ashton without any sort of empathy or understanding. A character who has been mentioned to be broken (physically mentally and emotionally) with crippling self worth issues who needs to be better in not only how they show they care, but in loving and caring for himself.

These past 2 episodes were so good but gosh some of the reactions have been aggravating

(Maybe I would accept people saying Ashton was manipulative more if they weren’t demonizing him in the same breath and acting as if they’re only only questionable bad egg in Bells Hells…)

[topaz-mutiny]

Okay so for me this is less an actual fanfic thing and more an opinion of mine being put through the lens of these characters, because my brain won’t stay quiet, and things that have happened in the campaign so far have changed my thoughts on how I feel about interactions between the characters. I used to be incredibly neutral on this, until we learned of the existence of a primordial fire shard.

So the TL;DR of my argument is: Ashrym now, Callowmoore later, after the characters, the cast, and some fans stop being weird and overly-pushy with the “it’s destiny” thing.

Maybe you agree, maybe you don't. Maybe you change your mind, if not nbd.

Contains spoilers up to and including episode 85 of Bells Hells. Nothing happens beyond a lot of swearing.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There wasn’t really any discussion between Bells Hells about where to camp and rest after this terrifying, extensive, exhausting day – only a collective effort to finagle everyone through the waterspout and into the portal that Fearne had discovered. From there it was easy to emerge from the mountain lake and find what looked like a decent spot to set up camp.

Fearne offered to stay up on watch first; she needed some time to think about what happened today. She didn’t like feeling scared. And today definitely had a lot of things that scared her.

First watch went by relatively fine, which was a relief since Fearne was so pre-occupied, and then it was time to wake up those who would be on second-watch. She watched Ashton be roused, and he wandered to a decent spot to take up watch. Looking around, he seemed far away from the other person up on watch, and everyone else was settled into sleep. They were, perhaps, far enough away that the two of them could have a brief conversation before she cuddled up with Orym.

Her quiet approach was ruined by a yawn that escaped her mouth. She really was exhausted like everyone else, but this felt important. “Hey.” She said through the end of her yawn.

“Hey.” They grunted back. “Aren’t you heading to bed?”

“Maybe in a little bit.” Fearne resisted another yawn. And then, “Today was a little fucked up.” Ashton gave out a deep, gravelly chuckle.

“Yeeeaah. Yeah it was.” He said. “Fuck.” Fearne noticed a quick side-eye Ashton gave her, and they looked… worried. “Didn’t think you wanted to talk so soon after… fuck, you know.” They shrugged ineffectually.

Shit, right. She steepled her fingers, tapping them together as she thought about it.

“Okay, well, I maybe am still a little bit mad about it.” Fearne refrained from saying who she was mad at, maybe even mad at multiple people. She had looked away, but still caught the flinch in Ashton’s reaction. “But that’s not what I wanna talk about. I wanna talk about…” about what? The Ludinus funnel? FCG almost dying right in front of her (though she Had A Plan, she thought, don’t worry about it)? Otohan’s reaction to her being Ruidusborn? What that meant when butted up against the reality that she was a designer-baby? “… stuff.”

“… Okaaay?” Ashton looked hapless.

“IthinkIwannatalkaboutdestiny” Fearne blurted out. Ashton blinked at her. “I mean, I wanna talk about me. Stuff I’m being told about me. Stuff that’s–“ making me scared, she omits “– that I don’t think I like very much.”

“Ah.” There was a shift in Ashton’s posture, and they looked a lot more comfortable. Empathetic. That’s why Fearne singled out Ashton after all, they too kind of were dealing, dealt with, this stuff too. Even though she was still mad about it.

“When we were trying to get away from Otohan, she said something that kind of fucked me up a little.” Fearne started explaining, “She said I was, like, central to some of their plans? And it made me think about how I was made, instead of born, and… and I don’t like it.” She doubly didn’t like it, because wasn’t Imogen supposed to be the one central to their plans? The super special savior of Predathos? “What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?”

There was a small pause.

“I’m not sure if I’m allowed an opinion on this shit anymore.” Ashton finally responded, “The last time I got fucked up by this destiny bullshit I…” he suddenly got very quiet “… exploded. Fuckin’ literally.”

Yes, we know, Ashton. We were there. Fearne thought about his agonized confession that they’d rather die than hurt Fearne like that. During Fearne’s watch, Fearne had started to worry that she might be next, and she absolutely did not want to hurt her friends (especially Orym) like that. Her brows furrowed.

“I think something or someone is pushing me to explode.”

“You… want me to keep an eye out?”

“Maybe. I dunno.”

“Fearne, fuck, whatever you want me to fuckin’ do, just tell me.” Ashton’s stare was intense, serious. As Fearne peered a little closer she noticed his body language screamed regret, anxiety, pleading. Like they’d do anything for anyone of the Hells, please don’t leave them.

Fearne huffed. “I don’t know! Maybe I just wanted to tell someone, and I told you, because you got a little messed up and now I’m getting messed up too.” Ashton nodded, as though that made sense, though Fearne could still sense the tension.

There was a significantly longer pause. Fearne made no move to go to bed. Yet. And eventually was the first to speak up again.

“And I also wanted to talk now because if it were any other time I think the others would push us to kiss or something right about now.” Fearne looked at Ashton. Ashton cleared their throat, embarrassment flushing his cheeks.

“Ah, yeah. They can mind their own fuckin’ business.”

“It is a little weird.”

Ashton was turning redder. Purple-r? Dark green-er? Fearne forgot what color his blush was and couldn’t see well enough in the dark.

“Plus there’s that shard bullshit.” Ashton said.

“Huh?”

“Everyone started getting really weird about us after these fucking shards became a thing. More destiny bullshit.”

“Oh.” That’s right. The shards were from Primordial lovers, or something. Bells Hells didn’t just make that up, did they?

He doesn’t say it out loud, but Fearne could easily imagine Ashton saying “Fuck destiny.” They definitely seemed like they were resisting saying something. Being nice? Or thinking that they don’t deserve to have an opinion? Would they have been okay with it if their friends were just regularly cajoling and these lover shards didn’t exist?

Well, that kind of sucks.

Despite her lingering anger over The Shard Incident, what she told Chetney afterwards was still true. She liked him a little bit, whatever that meant. And she still maybe wanted to do things that made them happy. Maybe. A little. And it didn’t seem like a full-on Laudna and Imogen style relationship was going to do that; would probably make them feel even more uncomfortable and think it’s all just because of the shards and not that they kind of maybe like each other for realsies.

It was kind of hard to realize that was what she was feeling, but now that she articulated it to Chetney, it was a lot easier to notice. And that Ashton might kind of sort of feel the same? But they’re refusing to act on it now because of the shards.

“Yeah, fuck destiny.” Fearne says. Ashton starts to look relieved. Maybe they can talk about it later, after they talk about The Shard Incident and she stops feeling mad at them and herself, after the topic of the shards becomes a vague background memory to everyone else. An intrusive thought streaks through her mind – the thought that she’d be fine if they just became friends with benefits – and maybe she’d think about that later when she’s not mad. Maybe.

She was feeling a little better, to her relief. Now that someone else besides FCG knows what Otohan said to her, it felt a bit less like she was going to get strangled by her own worries. But she didn’t want to go to bed yet.

What she did want to do right now was make Ashton happy. And her own feelings weren’t the only things Fearne had started to notice. And realized she probably would have noticed retroactively. The shards, currently, were a problem, for one way to make Ashton happy right now. But there was another way that kind of sounded fun to get the ball rolling, at least until they could talk more. Ashton seemed about ready to tell her to go to bed, the start of an inhale.

Zero warning. No decorum. Fearne dove in headfirst as she always does.

“So when are you going to tell Orym that you like him?”

Ashton’s inhale became a strangled noise of coughing as he started choking on their own spit. Fearne, for her part, looked Absolutely Innocent (mischievous) as the genasi struggled to quiet their coughs before it could wake up the entire group, or draw the attention of the other person on watch.

“Fearne, what the fuck?” Ashton’s voice was pitched low to a panicked whisper, hoarse from coughing.

“What?” Perfectly innocent smile. Ashton tried to wheeze back an answer, but couldn’t through trying to suppress more coughing, and failing to suppress the extreme flustered blush that now covered their entire face, obvious even in the darkness. “If everyone wasn’t so focused on the shards I’m pretty sure they would’ve noticed too.”

“But – fuck – I don’t… where did… he’s–“ Ashton stuttered. They covered their face with their hands and groaned, “The fuck do you mean?”

“What do you mean what do I mean?”

“You’re saying I, fuck, I… fucking…”

“Like Orym, my very best friend.”

“That. What does that mean? And might fuckin not, you don’t know. I don’t know. Fuck!”

Fearne thought about it. She didn’t know like, a definition.

“You don’t know?” she asked.

“No. Maybe? No.” his emphatic response.

“But you’re feeling something.” Ashton tried crushing their face even further into their hands.

“And what the fuck is it?” Ashton demanded. Their hands still covered their face, absolutely refusing to look at her. He almost looked like he wanted to run off the nearest cliff.

Hmm. Did Ashton seriously know less about these kinds of feelings than she did? Was that what he was trying to explain?

“It’s like…” Fearne thought about the little tryst she had with Deanna and Chetney. It was fun, and glorious, and she was excited, but… no, not exactly what she was asking about Ashton and Orym. She thought about Imogen and Laudna, and their recent admission to being together. That was kind of it, but didn’t seem like the right kind of description. Fearne thought about why she brought this up in the first place.

“It’s like, wanting to hang out a bit more…” she began. Ashton looked like he was glaring at her through his hands, but it was probably still out of embarrassment. He was paying very close attention to what she was saying. “… and also, maybe, saying and doing nice things for someone, just because. Something chaotic and random." Ashton removed their hands from their face and settled on having their arms crossed. Their face was still darkened with a blush, but were at least willing to show it now. Was there anything else? “And sometimes it feels like you drank a hard liquor and your stomach gets all hot, but you never even get tipsy.”

Ashton still looked like they wanted to throw themselves off a cliff.

“Does that sound familiar?” Fearne asked when Ashton failed to respond to her rambling. Some small night bird let out a haunting call.

Ashton mumbled something under their breath, at last, but Fearne couldn’t hear.

“Ashton?”

“… You’re really gonna make me fuckin say it out loud, aren’t you?” Ashton grumbled.

“You don’t have to.” Fearne said. She thought about Chetney. “But it might help.”

“Fuuuck.” Ashton pinched the bridge of his nose before looking away, refusing to make eye contact with the impossible faun. “So, maybe, hypothetically, some of what you said sounds a little fucking familiar.”

“And?”

“And maybe, I might tell Orym about it.”

“Soon?”

“This is a big fucking maybe, Fearne. Besides, you remember what Orym said, right?” and now, Ashton was questioning her.

“About what?”

“About whether or not it’s okay to miss Dorian.”

It kind of crushed her soul to remember Orym’s confession. She missed Dorian lots, oh so much, and she was pretty sure Orym did too. Orym was her best friend, and they traveled so much together. And he still felt… guilty. Over being a widower and having new friends and family (and maybe more?). But he also said how horrifically lonely he was, even with Fearne there right beside him.

She looked at Orym, curled up by the fire, and frowned.

“Maybe that’s something you two can talk about. After you tell him what you’re feeling.” Fearne offered. Ashton looked skeptical. Like he was thinking he would immediately fuck everything up. “Orym’s not going to be mean about it, I don’t think.”

“No,” Ashton agreed, “He’s going to be sad and guilty about it. And then I’m gonna feel fucking sad and guilty about it.”

Fearne smiled, “I think that’s why Orym needs his friends, Ashton. To help him feel less sad and guilty.”

“Orym would disagree.”

“I’m not saying he should stop feeling those things. Will was very important to Orym. Still is important. But… it’s eating him alive.”

“Hmm.”

“He might do something stupid and reckless because of it.”

“You think Orym’s a time bomb?”

“Maybe a little one.” Fearne sighed, then walked up to Ashton and pointed at his chest. “Tell him you like him. It’ll be good for you. Whatever happens after, happens after, so don’t worry about it right now.”

“I don’t even know if that’s true.” Ashton shrugged, leaning away. “But fine, I maybe. Might. Might, Fearne.” He stressed as Fearne started smiling deviously at him.

Good enough, she supposed. “Ooookaay then. Have a good night.” She sauntered over to the sleeping Orym, and began to curl over him to sleep, leaving Ashton standing in the moonlight, thinking.

Fearne was feeling a lot better.

[imogenisgod]

SO MANY THINGS !!!

Starting off with I love cool down on beacon. I’ve always wanted to listen to them just talk after the episode and it’s so fucking nice to see.

BUT THE EPISODE fearne almost fucking died and her father ?!?! I’m so interested and scared to see where that goes. He could have done anything but the mirror ??? Like holy shit actually that was such a moment thank god Orym followed her.

ESSEK HOT BOYYY I guessed it right away and I’m so happy it’s him. I’m not done with C2 yet but I absolutely love it and ofc him. I cant wait for the conversation with him and Astrid ALSO ASTRID ?!?! I will admit- me not being done with C2 does mean I was spoiled on a few details but honestly I kind of expect it like I started with the last campaign. Either way I’m looking forward to the conversation they have and the dynamic that Astrid and Essek show.

Dorian is back! Everything is great! This episode had a lot of great moments. I cant wait to head into Aeor I just kind of got passed I think most of that arc in C2 (I’m pretty sure they go back) so all the questions I have I can immediately get from C3 and that’s kind of awesome. A little cheating in a way because I won’t have to wait years to know what A? Mark is but hey!

No C2 spoilers btw!!! If I said anything that makes you want to correct my C2 knowledge keep it to yourself and let me figure it out! Thank youuu

[foggy-tea94]

More thoughts on recent Critical Role Campaign 3 recent episodes

Some of this might be hot takes. 🤷🏻‍♀️

People are all up in arms about somebody pressuring Imogen to do something she is afraid to do, and certain parts of the fandom and some of the characters themselves are all up in a tizzy.

I don’t recall ANYBODY being in a tizzy like this when over half the damn party was trying to pressure Fearne into taking the shard, which she said on multiple occasions over pretty much every episode since they got the damn thing until she took it in the Feywild, that she didn’t want it, that she was scared of what it would do to her.

Where are the people calling Imogen and Laudna out for pressuring Fearne to do something she said she was scared to do, on more than one singular occasion? Where are the people calling them bad and evil and awful for that?

But Orym telling Imogen that they need her here in this fight because they can’t win this without her, and pressuring her to use her connection to Ruidus, which she has been all gung-ho to do—even excitedly done, in previous episodes, is the ultimate bad guy here? 

The math ain’t mathin’ here people.

Either villainize all attempts at peer pressure within the party, or just maybe, look at things in the context of the situation. Don’t pick and choose which ones are acceptable and which ones aren’t.

If Orym is a piece of shit for pressuring Imogen, then so are Imogen and Laudna for pressuring Fearne.

Now putting that rant aside, I love all of the cast and I love all the characters of Bells Hells. None of them are perfect and they all have their issues, and I love it. I think it’s all so juicy. Let these characters become like people, let them feel like people!

I actually really like this campaign. Not more than I liked campaign one, but I feel like I get the story line more than what I did with campaign two. To me, campaign two didn’t feel cohesive until Eiselcross, Aeor, or heck just before the Somnovum. The story doesn’t get cohesive at least until they were in Xorhas at the very earliest. While with campaign one and campaign 3, their goals/purposes/linear story arc overall, has been way more cohesive from the start. Things tie back in at every twist and turn, leading towards the overall story.

So I’m all down for good inter-party conflict and found family. Whatever the cast of critical role wants to throw at us.

[loreruinedme]

Burning Love - A Callowmoore Fic

A/N - This is my first time I'm actually putting any of my writing anywhere so any feedback would be appreciated. This is slightly different to how the episode played out as well.

Spoilers for Campaign 3 Episode 77.

w/c - 3.8k

art by @/seasalt_farm on twitter

The sounds of their friends footsteps echo as they walk down the steps of the ziggurat, Chetney and Fresh Cut Grass muttering about how they will keep Lady Cassandra safe. Ashton and Fearne look to each other, holding each others gaze. In their periphery they see a glowing arcane shield come over them. The moment spans for an eternity. Panic is etched on Fearne’s face, determination is written on Ashton’s - it’s only them.

“They were going to argue, I don’t want this to-” Ashton says, barely above a whisper. 

“Yeah, no, I know, I understand I understand” Fearne cuts off his rambling with her own, forcing the words past the lump in her throat. 

The harness sits between them. A small part of Fearne feels like there’s still a choice to be made, that Ashton doesn’t have to do this but she knows they have made up their mind. 

“If it starts to get weird, feel free to scream like bloody hell, its okay, I don’t. Thanks” Ashton softly says to Fearne. He softens his gaze, reaching out for her hand - offering her the way to openly deal with pain, like one that they’ve had to hide throughout their whole life. 

“Yeah you got it” Fearne holds onto their hand, for what might be the last time, a single tear running down her cheek. 

Ashton can see the pain on her face, how much this is tormenting her. He just wishes he lives through this - hell, wishes he didn’t have to do this. He won’t fail his family though, not again. The moment seems like it lasts forever but quickly ends after Fearne wipes the tear away, continuing on. 

“Alright, well, lets get you in this thing” Her hand leaves his reaching for the harness, the only thing putting distance between them. 

They both relish in the moment of Fearne’s hands on Ashton, no matter the painful reasoning. The spark of electricity is undeniable as she slowly starts to put the harness on Ashton, never wanting to take her hands off of them again. 

“Lets do this. Quick” Ashton’s voice breaks the tender moment. The slight panic on his face is obvious to Fearne, knowing the group might stop them the urgency kicks in.

Snapping every buckle, tightening every strap until the harness looks like it was made for Ashton. Their hands engaging in some kind of practised dance, sparks of electricity firing whenever their hands brush. 

“I’m getting nervous” Fearne’s voice quivers as their hands touch when frantically putting on the harness. They stop. Ashton raises a hand, pinching her chin between his forefinger and thumb, tilting her chin so their gazes meet. 

“What if, what if you die, what if you like explode” Another small tear falls down Fearne’s cheek, Ashton can’t help but notice due to their proximity. 

“Well, that’ll be a story won’t it” Ashton raises their other hand to cup her cheek, wiping the tear away. 

He can’t even meet her eye when he continues “Fuck it. Do it” a hint of pain in his voice seeing her in so much turmoil. 

“I don’t know. I don’t know. What if something happens” Fearne’s voice shakes with worry as she takes their hand in hers. Silently begging them not to do this. Their expression softens just a moment for Fearne to see the vulnerability that they are also scared about this. 

“Shit happens” Ashton rips her gaze from hers, it takes every inch of him to do so, searching for anyone to stop them. But he needs to do this, he must do this. For them. For her. For Fearne. 

His gaze clashes with hers again, she never took it off him knowing this might be the last time she sees him. 

“I know some of your whatever is bullshit” Ashton fakes a chuckle, trying to get the same from her, to see her enchanting smile one last time. “I know that you worry about your friends” He takes a small step towards her, their bodies almost touching now, hands still entangled. “This. Is. What. I. Need” He punctuates every word, trying to get her to see this is the only way. This is the only thing they can do to save the group. To save her. They simultaneously take a deep shaky breath, they’ve always been on the same wavelength. It’s almost enough for them to share a laugh, maybe Ashton’s final. “I need to save everybody. We all need to save everybody” Their faces are inches from each other, one move and they could both cave in to the feelings they’ve tried to hide for so long. “Alright?”

“No” She answers truthfully but Ashton already knew that, it’s all over her face. Her heart forces the next words out of her mouth before she can think “But what if this is not how we do it?” Every one of her pleads threaten to break Ashton, to change his mind, to fight for them.

“We’re already fucked anyway” His voice reaches just above a whisper, like he doesn’t want to admit it and they both know they aren’t just talking about this power. He’s talking about them, their all-consuming feelings that make a small part of both of them want to fight for another way. 

“What if giving it to you is not how we save everybody?” He questions, another silent beg to get her to realise this is the only way. 

“I was already thinking that” She already knew it in her head but her heart only broke now. “I just put the shard in there what do I do?” If she is going to do this she is going to do it right, this is a massive risk, they don’t need more odds against them. Their grip on each other loosens as they realise they can’t stay like this forever, as much as they want to, as loud as their hearts are screaming at them to. 

“We did it last time. Just put it in and turn it on if I recall” Both of them wrenching their gaze from each other and to the shard. “Lets go. You promised” His eyes wander her body, taking her all in before meeting her gaze, some of that determination he has is now echoed in her own features. 

“Shit. Now you had to go say something like that” She chuckles. That laugh makes him want to rip off the harness taking everything he just did and said back, that laugh thats become one of his favourite things in the world. But he doesn’t. “Alright” 

“Ready?” A small part of him wants her to say no, to fight for him, to fight for another way. 

“Yeah” Uncertain of her own answer but her heart knows he’s right. He can trust her, they can get through this. 

“One more for the road” She barely hears what he says before his arms are around her, holding her, comforting her, she could die in this very moment and die happy. Her arms wrap around him, returning the connection and that’s all the confirmation Ashton needs that she feels what he feels. Love. 

Ashton’s hands wander up her body to reach her face, savouring each millisecond of each other’s touch, silently craving for more. His hand cradles her cheek, eyes searching for permission, his breath catching in anticipation. Once she leans into his touch, moving her head towards his, it takes mere moments before his mouth closes over hers. Months of pent-up fire finally burning between them. Some regret fills the kiss, wishing they had done this before but nothing can take away from the heat between them. Their lips part in the kiss, no need for breath, this is what can keep them alive. Their tongues dance like they were made to do this. Ashton runs their hand through her hair to cradle the back of her head as Fearne grip on him becomes a vice, taking the kiss deeper. Flames dance through this kiss, their hands and bodies finally exploring each other finally relieving the months of craving. They melt into each other, everything feels right. Everything else falls away, no thoughts about what’s about to be done, it’s just them, it’s as if they are the only people in the world. 

As they finally break apart, held in each others arms, foreheads pressed together Fearne whispers “Well now I don’t want to put it in”. Silently praying she could just hold onto them and stay in this blissful long awaited moment. 

Her gaze drops to the shard, unfortunately leaving the comfort and safety of his arms. He watches her every move, trying to take in her captivating beauty one last time. The shard burns her hands but the heat isn’t anything compared to the fire of their kiss - nothing will ever compare. 

Ashton cups her face again, it takes everything in them to not kiss her again. 

“If it gets weird, you just yell” a whispered final request. Ashton doesn’t want her to suffer through this pain alone, he doesn’t want her to feel the pain alone. But they both know this will break her in ways it won’t break the others - it will shatter her heart. 

She reaches the shard round to the back of their neck where the funnel sits waiting. Neither of them miss the flash of desire as her hand brushes against his neck, where it was seconds ago. 

They both hold their breath, gaze locked on each other as everything else out goes into focus. They only notice the runes on the harness glowing as it casts different light on their faces. This is it. 

Fearne lets go of the shard barely noticing the rotating flame. Her hands cup his cheeks this time “You better not die” she demands, what might be her last words to them, as she drops her hands tensing them in fists at her side. 

For the first time, a single tear rolls down Ashton’s cheek. Fear tenses every part of their body as she asks something of him that he probably can’t deliver.

They stand together, as a warmth begins to blossom in Ashton’s chest. Fearne watches his face wince as he chooses feel the pain in front of her. The rainbow sparks begin to flicker in the opal stone on the side of Ashton’s head but Fearne can’t take her eyes off of his. 

The heat in his chest grows and grows until it begins to burn. Unlike the fiery passion they previously shared, this is white hot agony. Fearne feels helpless as she watches his face contort in pain. She watches the gold fracture lines across all of Ashton’s body turn to a bright orange - her guilt placing a heavier weight on her chest. 

All this time their gazes are set on one another, they don’t even hear their friends asking what is going on. All Fearne can do is watch as Ashton is baked in a searing heat. 

The heat within his chest burns as he feels something trying to awaken, a second heartbeat almost, starting to shift and flex. The heat lurches from his chest to his shoulder, Fearne seeing him jolt in pain. 

She begins to run to catch and steady him. But she sees the fear swimming in his eyes and the word “Don’t” escapes in a shaky breath, ghosting across his lips. He shuts his eyes tightly, he can’t bear to look at the guilt, fear and pain in her eyes. 

Fearne can’t suppress her cry as a chunk of Ashton’s shoulder shatters to the ground and break into thousands of pieces. Tears begin to quickly fall down her face, steaming as they reach the slowly heating ground below. 

“Fuck pain” He growls, his throat starting to feel the agonising burn. 

“No” Fearne pleads, taking another step closer to him. 

“Fuck pain” He shouts with a rage like no other due to the pain, opening his eyes to see Fearne’s face inches from his own. 

“No”. Ashton wishes he didn’t see her tear stained cheeks as for a millisecond she averts her gaze in the direction of their friends. They can help, they can stop the pain. 

As if reading her mind, Ashton whispers “Don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare”. He doesn’t miss her slight flinch at the anger in his tone but he can’t control it, not now. He didn’t mean to scare her, it’s the last thing they wanted to do but he knows their friends will try and force her to take this pain on instead of him. He would go to the ends of the earth to make sure she never feels this pain. 

The heat spreads further through Ashton’s body and they hold each other’s gaze. Fearne‘s eyes quickly dart to the sound of rock cracking as a part of Ashton’s ear falls and shatters on the ground. This will literally tear him apart. The now orange cracks turn brighter and brighter into an almost white colouration, the rock that makes up his skin begins to heat just like the previously golden cracks did. 

As Ashton changes colour, Fearne sees the shard slowly drain colour until it cracks, mimicking what she sees in the man before her. His body lurches, beginning to expand and he slowly starts to crumble. 

His eyes tightly shut as another wave of unfathomable pain crashes over his body. Fearne doesn’t even notice the sound of Imogen’s footsteps coming towards them, how could she when she is watching a man she loves literally falling apart in front of her. 

He opens his eyes but instead of the familiar comfort she has been looking into the whole time she is met with burning coals, emitting a bright orange light towards her. Another shift of his body as his chest expands once more, a sickening crack meets her ears, unlike anything she’s heard yet. His right arm splinters off, completely detaching from his torso falling to the ground.

Fearne can’t take it anymore, she cant stand there and just watch this happen. Rushing to him, not even caring about the burning of her hands, she frantically starts undoing the harness. Reversing what dance they had done before but it is much slower this time, the time that is matters. Ashton can’t even feel her hands on him, it’s only pain. 

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no - help” Fearne wonders for a second if these are her own words before she recognises it’s Imogen’s pleas, not hers. 

She only feels fear in this moment, doing whatever she can to undo this. Ashton only feels pain, almost subsiding into numbness. Almost. 

Worry fills his features for a second, wondering if their friends will stop this and force Fearne to endure this instead. However a part of him, this new part of him, knows it’s too late. All he can offer Fearne is a sad smile knowing only he will have to endure this. Only him, only once, then it’s over.

Through what would be tears but is just steam. Ashton thoughts race: his past, his future, those he wants to protect, the one he wants to protect most. He believes he thinks this but the faintest whisper of his thoughts, his prayer, meets Fearne’s ears. 

“I don’t care where, just - I don’t care what I am going to become but I have to become something that is - I am not gonna loose anybody” That last sentence feels like it plays on loop in Fearne’s mind. Tears falling down her cheeks as she rushes to undo the harness, in her haste her fingers are slipping, loosing her precious seconds. 

Ashton, used to being in pain, is able to block out some of the burning, enough to feel the presence of his friends approaching. A white hot sensation is crawling across his body as he continues to grow brighter and hotter. 

“Anything you’ve got, I’ll take it” He roars in a mixture of pain and forced anger, a desperate plea for help to get through this, to rid him of the pain. 

“Anything - what did you do?” Imogen questions back. Ashton seemingly ignores it and, to his heart’s dismay, breaks from Fearne’s grasp stumbling with whatever strength they can muster towards Fresh Cut Grass. 

Fearne stands, another feeling of helplessness washes over her as she tries to help him stand but the burning is only getting worse. She sees Imogen in an effort to hold their body together. Ashton’s arm reaches for the healing potion at is side, he’s desperate in any attempt to stop the pain. But the slight hope that began to bloom in their chests vanishes as quickly as the potion evaporates. 

An uncomfortable laughter fills the space: ragged, broken and unsettling. Fearne’s body tenses in worry and rage as she knows it is unmistakably Ashton’s laugh. It’s usually a rare beauty but it is anything but that in this moment. 

Seeing their friends come to their aid fills both Ashton and Fearne with hope. The heating of the metal of FCG’s hand isn’t even noticed by Ashton as his is gaze once again shifts to Fearne, his rock. Their gazes meet and a wave of worry passes through them as she mutters a spell. Immediately Ashton feels whole again, he feels life, waves of it roll over him countering the constant pain. He can feel the spell holding him here, tethered to this world, all because of Fearne. The woman who is slowly becoming his whole life. 

She notices the twitch in Ashton’s fingers reaching for the ring, for any form of protection. But another torrent of pain wracks his body, all he can feel is fire, unable to concentrate on anything but the burning sensation that is ripping his body apart. What looks like small volcanoes seem to emerge from the cracks in his expanded chest, threatening to explode at any moment. 

There’s a silent scream of pain as his breath slows to a point where the burning orange of his eyes seems to slightly dim. Shallow ragged breaths fill the chamber as Fearne muffles a cry - ‘it should’ve been me’ is all she can think about seeing him on the brink of death. He uncontrollably crumples to a knee, another cascade of shale falling off of his body. She pushes all the energy she can towards him as FCG does the same and she sees a familiar sense of life return to those eyes. 

He reaches to the stone, his constant comfort, what makes up his body. There’s a battling duality happening as they continue to slip in and out of consciousness, two bombs inside of him threatening to detonate. All this time Fearne has stayed by him, keeping him here, as pain puts him down she brings him back up. All this time she is unbuckling the harness frantically undoing every mistake she made through streams of tears. She watches his life fade over and over only to be brought back by her. Unbothered by the heat that encompasses her whole body, it can be nothing compared to what he’s going through, to what she almost had to go through herself. 

Through her attempts and the helps of Imogen’s mage hand and Orym’s seedling, the harness is ripped from his body. Leaving her hands after what feels like an eternity of fumbling with the buckles. She instinctively reaches out for him, wanting him to know she is there but her fingers are met with white hot fire. 

The gold, now white hot, parts of his body emanate with a viscous glow. His eyes tightly shut and face tenses as he looks up, beams of sheer bright light emanate from his eyes. A blood-curdling scream rips from Ashton’s throat - one Fearne will never forget, it will haunt her, plague her dreams. 

And he explodes. 

Fearne’s world stops as it feels like the pieces of him are held in the air for an eternity. Tears turn into sobs that now wrack her body, an immense feeling of guilt and grief encompassing her. She can still make out pieces of the opal stone in his head that made her drawn to him, pieces of his mouth where he’s flash her that smirk, his hands that were previously on her face, his lips and the way she felt when theirs brushed against hers. It feels like she relives months full of memories in just a split second. 

She notices the ring, the one Deanna gave to Chetney, glowing with a fiery intensity, the visual embodiment of what their kiss felt like. All the pieces of Ashton rush back together in an instant and he is whole together again before her. The moment he is whole they never break each other gaze: focus, determination, desire, want, love. A multitude of shared feelings powers them both through the longest and most excruciating 30 seconds of their lives. 

She, and FCG, continue to pump life through him for what feels like hours. Draining their magical abilities to keep him alive and breathing. Not once does her gaze drop from his, she knows much they need each other. 

Eventually, the heat beings to subside as Ashton falls unconscious onto his side where his arm once was. She stops, reaching out a hand to touch his cheek, hoping what she did is enough to have saved him. For a brief moment her heart stops as she can no longer feel life in his limp body. 

She strokes his cheek for what is the last time, almost pressing her forehead to his. She feels his skin begin to cool as steam hisses from all across his body It encompasses the two of them in a cloud of steam, discreet enough she can press a quick kiss to his lips. He will die knowing how much she wants and needs him, he never stopped fighting for her, not until his last breath.

Air rushes through his lungs, the breath Fearne was holding escapes her as his weight shifts against her embrace. 

He comes to, he can feel her holding him, how close her face is to his. His eyes open and lips curve into a slight smile before doing the one thing his heart tells him not to and retreats. His eyes meet hers and they are both flooded with relief. Not caring who surrounds them now, her lips find his. Her lips are warm and soft against his, a reminder of the life she gave to him. She felt his hands gently cup her face as he deepened the kiss, his lips moving against hers with a gentle urgency. The relief they both feel floods the kiss as they part, holding each other. He sits up and admiring the heavy, glowing molten rock arm that cradles her face - a reminder of the pain he endured, a pain he survived, all because of her. 

[immult]

mild mature content. imogearne because c3e108 crumbs were life changing.

—

Imogen sucks in a breath.

“Dream– to who? To what?”

“I don’t know,” Fearne leans in, “Predathos?”

“Oh,” Imogen says, “Jeez.”

Imogen tries dreaming of Predathos that night and wakes up standing in a red waste.

There is a thread in her fist and it pulls her below ground, all she needs to do is hold on. If she's lucky, she’ll get a rope burn. If she isn't, she’ll wake up with a thin wound across her palm and she’ll keep looking at it the entire day hoping it’ll crust over into white flesh except that it’ll stay red no matter how many times she looks.

She lets go of the thread before the ground could welcome her.

It stings - that feeling of relief when she cannot find Letters’ shared presence anywhere, watching her fail even in her dream.

Imogen wakes up in a purple sky, there is a leash wrapped around her fists and up around her arms.

It pulls on her and she pulls back instinctively.

Gloamglut screeches and soars higher, Imogen’s stomach tightens- no- the arms around her stomach tightens. Fur tickles the back of her neck, a breath stutters against her exposed shoulder.

“A little warning please!” Fearne gasps into her goosebump. The others offer their complaints as well, although theirs are more distant and muffled, somewhere in her periphery.

“Heads up!” Imogen laughs over the wind and pulls against the leash further back. Gloamglut chases the sun and Imogen chases the giggles in her shoulder.

She is glad Fearne’s arms are around her stomach, can butterflies even fly this high without getting their wings crushed?

Imogen settles heavily against Fearne, the warmth across the length of her back is familiar, missed. The feywild looks so beautiful this high up, now that it can't touch her.

“It’s beautiful here.” Fearne says like she's the mind reader.

“Yeah, which one’s your favourite view?” Like she isn't.

“I don't know,” Fearne leans in, “Predathos?”

Gloamglut dips and Imogen wakes up in a dark cave.

Something is howling outside and Imogen recognises that terrible creature, it moves too quickly and bites too deep - that snowstorm, it prowls near the edges of Uthodurn. Imogen shudders.

Fearne holds her tighter in response, her warmth beginning to feel familiar to Imogen.

“Are you scared?” Fearne asks.

“I’m cold.” That isn't a lie.

“Only cold?”

“I don’t–” Imogen sighs, “I’m both of those, Fearne.”

Imogen shifts and exposes her arm that she’s been lying on top of. It tingles as the circulation finally lets up, there are angry imprints on her arms from the cave floor but nothing as distressing as the red lightning marks climbing through her skin like ivy and weed and disease.

Mercifully, Imogen can't see them in the dark.

Fearne touches them like she can.

"Oh, don't. It's kinda' rough." Imogen laughs softly, apologetic.

"That's fine." Fearne says, "unless you don't want me to–"

"Please–"

"–I can stop."

"No–"

"Oh," Fearne says, "okay."

Fearne starts tracing the valleys of her lightning scars, too-slow and too-warm like she's meaning to cauterise them close, stitch them up and fix Imogen proper so she looks a little less sundered by whatever red thing is trying to tear out from under her skin.

Not one single scar is left unpaved by her touch.

At one point those wandering fingers brush her neck and just for that moment, Imogen wonders if her scars can reach to where her mouth is.

“I think you’re very brave, Imogen.”

Imogen huffs.

Fearne’s hand feels less aimless when they brush the new scars peeking from underneath Imogen’s shorts and Imogen feels all sorts of warmth.

Imogen cannot decide if the touch is mending or unraveling her but the moment Fearne’s dark claw gets caught on her shorts’ button she decides it is needed.

Imogen wakes up to a dark bedroom and a pale hand splayed across her stomach. How strange, Laudna’s cold digits feel like a hot branding on her skin.

Imogen regards it for a moment, the dark claws extending as if on its own to meet the coiled shadows cast on Imogen's stomach (the bramble walls outside ligament manor are mocking her, she thinks, the way their shadows match Imogen’s scars perfectly at times). At this length, those claws can easily break into Imogen’s skin and rip her gut open, help expel the dead butterflies and living hunger in it.

She doesn't want them.

Imogen gently takes Laudna’s hand into hers.

“Imogen?” Laudna whispers, stirred.

She guides Laudna’s hand further down then slips it underneath their blanket.

To Imogen’s quiet horror, her thighs already feel wet.

She doesn't want them at all.

“Been wanting you.”

Something wakes in Laudna before Laudna does.

“Only you,” Imogen prays.

—

[annemarieyeretzian]

fearne shouting "DO NOT! FUCK WITH ME! RIGHT NOW! I’M TIRED! I’M SCARED!”

[dadrielle]

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