#i’m not mean i swear i was just being stupid and didn’t phrase my thoughts correctly

[foolishlyzephyrus]

i hate making a mistake on the internet because i hate making people upset and you bet your ass i’m gonna be writing an apology letter for anyone i accidentally offended

[ominous-faechild]

Incorrect Quotes Tag

Rule: use this generator to create “incorrect quotes” for characters in your wip!

This tag was going around for a bit months back, but I'm reviving it!

WAVES OF MISFORTUNE

Zarina: I’m telling you, my team is competent. Cricket, rushing in: Zarina! Yesval tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

Flavie: What are your adjectives? Yesval: …You mean my pronouns? Flavie: No, I know what your pronouns are! What are your adjectives? Yesval: …I dunno. What are yours? Flavie: Noisy and chaotic! Yesval: I’ve never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so quickly.

Yesval: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off? Flavie: What? No, I— Benji: *enters room* Yesval: *jaw clenches*

Flavie: *gasp* Yesval: wHAT?? Flavie: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish? Yesval: *inhales* Tián, in another room with Benji: Why can I hear screeching?

Benji: ARE YOU- Tián: Fucking. Benji: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Tián: Fucking. Benji: IDIOT! Cricket: …What was that? Tián: Zarina banned Benji from swearing, so I’m helping him out.

Cricket, shakily: Please, just tell me what the book is about. The plot, please. Benji, reading an annotation on the cover of a book, unfazed: A subversive masterpiece. A deep and touching story. New York Times Bestseller. Cricket, now looking directly at Benji: Go fuck yourself.

Benji: Do dragons fart fire? Cricket: I don't know. Benji: I thought you went to college.

Cricket: Please pray for Benji. Tián: What happened to him? Cricket: Nothing, he's just very stupid.

Tián, at an awards show: Well, first of all, I’d like to thank Benji, the love of my life, for telling me Flavie was going to win so don’t bother to prepare a speech.

Tián: Wanna get out of here and grab a bite to eat? Benji: I don’t usually eat with losers. Tián: Neither do I but I asked you, didn’t I?

Tián: I love being right. It’s one of my favorite personality traits.

Zarina: What are you two arguing about this time? Benji: She's always using common phrases incorrectly! Flavie: Cry me a table, Benji.

Flavie: What do you guys do when you're stressed? Zarina: Try and calm myself down! Benji: Sleep. Cricket: Get myself into even more stress, so that the first reason for my stress gets cancelled out. Yesval: I don't.

Tián: Good night. Benji: Sleep tight. Yesval: Don't let the bedbugs crawl up to your ear and whisper threatening things that make you question yourself. Zhihao: Great, now Benji's crying.

Flavie, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVERS CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.

Flavie: Is this a good idea? Flavie: Probably not. Flavie: Do I care? Flavie: No.

Tián: I think Flavie is in trouble. Yesval: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

Flavie: Benji, what are you doing tomorrow? Benji: Having my day ruined by whatever you’re about to ask me to do.

Benji: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me. Flavie: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERY TIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!

Flavie: Benji told me I was found in a KFC bucket next to a dumpster and I was rescued. Yesval: You probably were. Flavie: Oh crap, maybe that's the reason why. Maybe my lackluster feelings towards their fried chicken is because subconsciously I'm reliving the trauma whenever I see their trademark bucket. My brain and cognitive dissonance won't let me completely lie to myself and say I hate their food, because fried chicken is great and I want some now, instead it just steers me away. Thank you for helping to guide me towards this epiphany, perhaps now the healing can begin.

Zarina: What makes you all smile? Tián: Friends and Family. Flavie: Snacks. Benji: Victory and success. Yesval: Face muscles.

Benji: All the sudden I got a random burst of energy, and I think it's my body's last hurrah before it completely shuts down.

Benji, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down. Flavie: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven... Cricket, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven? Benji, spraying Flavie: You FUCKING DUMBASS! Flavie: Dude, I forgot- Benji: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!? Zarina: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

Flavie: Why would anyone want to harm Benji? Yesval: Maybe because they met him?

*the TV is freaking out* Tián: Don’t worry, you have to treat an electronic like you treat a patient on life support. *unplugs the TV, then plugs it back in again. nothing changes* Tián: Yeah, that didn’t work with my grandma either.

Zarina: Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!? Yesval, sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.

Flavie: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk. Flavie: *cuts piece of cake* Benji: ... Can I have some? Flavie: Cake is for talkers.

RISING FROM THE ASHES

Kieva, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!

Carmin: When life gives you lemons, what do you do? Sammy: Make lemonade! Carmin: No, throw them back up in the sky and make life deal with it’s own shit.

Kieva: Your smile looks forced. Carmin: That’s because it is.

Tián: I started school with straight A’s. Now I’m not even straight.

Kieva: I need life advice. Tián, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

Tián: Do you ever think? Because I do not.

Caron: That's it, you're grounded! Tián, no adventures for you! Roman, no fighting for you! Taj, no stealing for you! And Al... oh gods, is there anything you love? Al: Revenge. Caron: No vengeance for you. Al: I was going to say "I'll get you for this," but I guess that's off the table.

Tián: And if you have any suggestions, please put them in the suggestion box. Kieva: That’s a trash can.

Mei: Are you this rude to everyone?! Carmin: Yup. Carmin: Don't think you're special.

Carmin: You’re kind of a pushover, aren’t you, Mei? Mei: … I’m sorry. Carmin: See!? That’s exactly what I’m talking about!

Mei: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single? Carmin: Do not do that. Mei: You won’t even notice! Kieva, entering: Mei, you wanted to see me again? Mei: Carmin's single Carmin:

Mei: Did you win? Or just not die? Mei: Either way, hooray. Carmin: ...Is "no" a valid answer? Mei: The hooray is redacted and you frighten me.

Sammy: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent. Sammy: I choose to waive that right! Sammy: *screams*

Flavie: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon? Aditi: We're chopsticks! Flavie: Well... that's cute! Flavie: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly? Tián: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

Aditi: I’m so happy two of my favorite people are getting along now. Carmin: Uh, Tián and Taj are not getting along. Aditi: They’re not trying to kill each other. Carmin: You may have a point.

Zain: You’re alive. Roman: No need to sound so disappointed.

Elazi: Alright, so the vampire's gravestone is— Roman: Cenotaph. Elazi: What? Roman: It's only a gravestone if it marks the location of a body. A monument honouring someone whose body isn't present is a cenotaph. Elazi: I'm... not sure that's how it works if the body gets up and walks away on its own. Roman: There's a precedent for gravestones being reclassified as cenotaphs if the body is later removed and reinterred elsewhere. There's no rule that says the body itself can't do the removing. Elazi: Okay, but the body is very much coming back. That's kind of what we're here to accomplish. Roman: So it's a temporary cenotaph. Elazi: And naturally our greatest concern here is avoiding semantic ambiguity. Roman: Semantic ambiguity is how vampires get you.

Elazi: Do you want to know your gay name? Roman: My... my gay name? Elazi: Yeah, it's your first name- Roman: Haha. Very funny Elazi- Elazi: *gets down on one knee* And my last name. Roman: Oh- oh my god.

Tagging (no pressure!): @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet @illarian-rambling @ashirisu @urnumber1star

@the-letterbox-archives @48lexr @aalinaaaaaa @thecomfywriter @an-indecisive-nerd

@seastarblue @leahnardo-da-veggie @world-of-iridensia

Banners from @saradika

[camilaxmartin]

gonna put them emoji’s again💀😭 so it would be: 🥑🍬🌸🐝🎨🍄

I love using these TOTALLY USEFUL emoji’s so I picked em🥰

you don’t use avocado/bee/mushroom everyday? what are you even doing?🙄

BUT ANYWAY

🥑: you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

probably @bunnylove1 and @blookyag, idk why tho honestly, just getting the vibes they’d help somebody out with hiding the body💀 (it’s a compliment, i swear-)

🍬: post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character:

okay uhh- (don’t cancel me plz) i respect with my whole heart that alastor is asexual and (?) aromantic but i don’t get the hate people receive when shipping him with someone? as far as i know being on the spectrum means he can still date? like i know, he doesn’t show any interest in that but if its just for a silly au or for a cool drawing then what’s the fuss about? i’m not talking like about erasing that part of him because that’s a big no no for me, but like…? respecting it but still having fun with his character? i saw a great tiktok explaining my thoughts exactly so maybe i’ll link it here if i can find it (add the link here later camila:) (besides all that i project a lot of myself onto alastor (still debating if im aromantic or not) and i want to explore myself with his character (if i can even phrase it that way) so all the hate and shit really bother me, you know?)

(another thing more about whole thing not a character is that “whatever it takes” is in my top 4 songs and i don’t get the hate it gets?? i love this song?? it’s so great?? two latina (?) girls singing together?? cmon??)

🌸: do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them:

i do actually! i have a dog and three rats:) (also had a rabbit but he died not so long ago and he was like my whole world so i got a tattoo to remember him, i’ll add it as well just because i can)

🐝: tag your biggest supporters and say one nice thing about them:

@kimmyisachiisaiakuma - ugh of course?? like in my head we are already besties fr fr, what can i saaaay😭 idk i love you and how supportive and just friendly you are!!:) and god of course, i love your art?? but i’ve already said it a thousand times??? so here’s one thousand first??

@bunnylove1 - just how supportive you are towards my stuff and how with exactly one request i felt like we also became besties? maybe it’s just me but yeah😭

@blookyag - liking my every post and responding to every single one of them!!! she’s a treasure, really. i’m surprised someone cares about my rambling this much💀

@informist - i’ve noticed that she’s also reacting to a lot of my stuff and she’s so quick with it like?? idk it makes my heart jump okay? i love attention from people even when it’s just my stupid rambling😭 (#iamanattentionwhore 😗😗)

@rougecreator1 - liked a lot of my posts as well, and somehow i feel like they enjoy my stuff? idk tho?😭😭 yeah just noticed interactions in my activities:)

@riveramorylunar - i feel like we were more active on each other’s accounts when i was still in my lady lesso era, but idk i really liked you then and i still love seeing your stuff pop up on my main page:)

and of course, all of my lovely anons who send me their ideas that i can’t wait to write!!:)

🎨: link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it:

okay so like it changes every day?? but for now i must say this one:

click!

why? simple. a. brokerdoll b. the marvellous style? c. i want to draw like that d. just… just look at it okay? e. lesbians.

(and a special mention for THIS as well, as it’s the first time someone ever drawn my oc and besides the fact that she looks so pretty here it’s just… idk i just love it okay, she stole my heart)

🍄: share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings:

let’s start with the fact that i even have a favourite account for all the headcanons about brokerdoll which is @vypridae (adore all the hcs, really)

buut! my personal headcanon is:

• carmilla didn’t really expect to fall for velvette, i mean in my head she just saw her as so… respectless and dumb and stupid and careless and carefree and wild and free and pretty- wait

yeah, so in my head velvette was the first to initiate anything and at first carmilla was like “ha! no way, you stupid girl” but then she started to think more and more about velvette as the time went on and one day she just got along the fact that she might be attracted to the young overlord and somehow… went with it? like she didn’t make a big deal out of it… but velvette definitely did, despite the fact she was actually the first one to say or act on her attraction in any way.

(i need to write more headcanons for them, they’re literally eating up my brain)

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

High for love - Sherlock x reader

Request: "Can i request prompt #16 with BBC sherlock please? x"

Prompt: I may or may not be a tiny bit in love with you. Okay maybe a lot in love with you but that's beside the point.

A/N: I am thinking of doing a part two to this if people want? Let me know what you guys think!!

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of drug use.

PART TWO HERE

Word count: 2804.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

You ran your hands through your hair as you paced back and forth in your boyfriends apartment. You didn’t ant to dump him – well no that’s a lie otherwise you wouldn’t be doing it- but your reasoning didn’t feel valid. But surely it was better to cut it off now, rather than stringing him along the whole time? Before you could debate the subject anymore, the keys jangled in the lock and there he was.

‘hi baby’ He smiled as he dropped his bag, walking over to hug you. ‘’god I’ve missed you, work was hell. Julie, you know the one from the dinner party we went to last week, she didn’t do any of here paperwork so we were backlogged the whole day and it’s just insane-‘’

‘’Tom, can you stop for a second?’’ You blurted out, cutting him off.

You saw his brow flinch in confusion as he stepped back slightly at your tone.

‘’Is everything okay?’’ The genuine concern in his voice pulled at your heart strings.

Tom was perfect, he’s everything you could want in a guy. He was kind, compassionate, funny – he’d had you in tears from laughing so hard more times than you could count. You felt so happy when you were with him and you knew you could tell him anything and he would love you all the same. Yet here you were, about to break this poor man’s heart. And why? All because of some stupid detective you’d fallen for months ago.

‘’I need to talk to you about something’’ Your hands shook as you spoke, which of course Tom noticed.

‘’Hey you’re okay, whatever it is you know you can tell me. I’m here for you.’’ His words weren’t making this any easier.

He reached out to take your hands but the thought of him touching you right now made your stomach turn, guilt consuming you. His expression dropped when you moved away from him, clearly on edge now as well.

‘’Y/N?’’ He questioned.

You couldn’t even look at him, opting to stare at your hands instead. You took a shaky breath trying to compose yourself. ‘This is the right thing to do’ You told yourself.

‘’We need to break up.’’

It felt unreal as those words left your mouth. A heavy pause settled across the room, both of you taking in what had just been said. You glanced up at Tom, expecting him to get angry. Instead he just stared at you, a blank expression on his face.

‘’Tom?’’ you asked tentatively.

He just nodded slowly, processing what he had heard.

‘’Okay. Um, wow I wasn’t excepting that’’ He let out a shocked laugh. ‘’What changed? Did I do something?’’

You stepped towards him slightly. ‘’No, Tom, no. You were-are amazing. Truly. I’ve been so lucky to have you in my life. It’s just-‘’

You didn’t even know how to phrase it.

‘’It’s Sherlock.’’ You spat out, your face burning with shame.

You knew you hadn’t cheated, not physically. But the fact you were in love with another man while being in a relationship somehow felt like a bigger betrayal. And Tom deserved better.

‘’Your in love with him, aren’t you?’’ Tom’s voice broke through your thoughts.

You nodded, not sure what words would help the situation. You were waiting for tom to yell, telling you how awful you were before demanding you to leave. But it never came.

‘’I know you love me. That’s evident. But if I’m not the one your in love with, then I can’t stand in the way of that.’’ His tone was soft, deflated almost.

You looked up at him, seeing the sorrow laced in his eyes. It hurt to see.

‘’I’m sorry. I know it might not mean anything to you, but I truly never wanted to hurt you.’’  You said, keeping your voice low.

It almost felt wrong to break the quiet around the two of you.

‘’I know.’’ Was all he said, before hugging you tightly. The two of your stayed like that, holding each other for a while.

‘’Go and tell him then’’ Tom said, sighing slightly as he pulled away.

You chuckled stiffly at his words before grabbing your bag and heading to his door.

‘’I’ll see you around then’’ He called.

You nodded and walked out the door, a few tears welling in your eyes as you closed it behind you. What had you done? You didn’t even know if sherlock liked you back. There was a huge possibility he didn’t, actually it would be the surprise of the century if he did. Sherlock didn’t do feelings, or romantic relationships. He’s more than cable of it, but as he likes to remind you constantly, it only distracts from his work. As you were thinking this, your phone rang. Speak of the devil.

‘’Hello?’’

‘’Ah, y/n, where are you?’’ Sherlocks voice swum through the speakers.

‘’On the way home, what’s up?’’

‘’Me and john are working on a case, come over would you?’’

‘’Sherlock, I’m tired can I just help you guys out tomorrow?’’ As much as you wanted to tell him how you felt, you were worn thin emotionally right now and did not have the energy to face either him or john.

‘’What’s wrong with you? He asked sharply.

‘’Nothings wrong okay, I just want to go home and rest’’ You sighed, slightly annoyed.

‘’y/n I’ve seen you quite literally collapse from exhaustion due to helping us out before’’

‘’well god forbid I start to look after myself’’ you shot back sarcastically.

‘’No what I’m saying is, you being tired has never been an issue before. So why now? Something must be wrong?’’

You rolled your eyes at his words.

‘’Fine if you must know I just broke up with Tom. Yes I’m fine, no I don’t want to talk about it and no he didn’t do anything wrong. Now can we please talk more tomorrow?’’ You snapped, harsher than intended.

There was a pause on the other line.

‘’Did you hear me?’’

‘’What- sorry yes I got distracted. See you tomorrow’’ Sherlocks words were sharp as he hung up the phone before giving you the chance to respond.

You sighed and pocketed your phone, continuing your journey home.

**************************THE NEXT DAY***********************

You jolted upright, your eyes having no time to focus as your head whipped round searching for the cause of the noise that had disrupted your sleep. Eventually you fumbled around enough to find your phone, clicking the answer button before reading the name of the caller.

‘’What?’’ You said, your voice sounding groggy.

‘’Hello Y/N’’ A familiar voice replied.

But not one you heard often. Something was wrong.

‘’Mycroft?’’ You eyes widened, suddenly alert. ‘’What’s going on? What’s happened?’’

You heard the older Holmes sigh through the phone.

‘’My brother went missing earlier tonight and-‘’

‘’WHAT? Where is he? Is he hurt? Oh my god right I’m coming over-‘’ You scrambled to get out of your bed, dropping the phone in the process.

‘’Shit’’ You threw yourself over the side of the bed to grab it. However, you miscalculated how close you were to the edge and promptly fell off with a rather loud thud as you landed in a crumpled heap next to your phone.

‘’Ow’’ You grumbled before finally picking your phone back up. ‘’Hello? Are you still there?’’

‘’Are you quite alright? That was an awful lot of noise’’ Mycroft asked, sounding more agitated then worried but that didn’t surprise you.

‘’Yep, yes all fine. Now where the hell is sherlock? Shouldn’t you be out looking for him instead of calling me?’’

‘’Well as I was saying before you interrupted me, we’ve already found him. He’s been taken back home and is currently with John.’’ Mycroft continued.

You furrowed your brow in confusion.

‘’Then why are you calling me? You do know it’s literally 3 in the morning. I was sleeping’’ You shuffled on the floor so you could lean back up against your bed, still feeling the tiredness wash over you.

‘’He may be home but he isn’t exactly…well, sober’’ The unease was evident in Mycroft’s tone as he spoke.

Even though he would probably deny it at any turn, he cared for sherlock deeper than he’d ever cared for anything. As did sherlock for Mycroft. They truly wouldn’t be the same without each other, even if they were both too stubborn to admit to it.

‘’What can I do?’’ You said with a sigh.

‘’Go and talk to him. He seems to trust you. Possibly even more than he does john Find out why he’s using again’’

You held your head in your hands. You hated seeing sherlock high. It hurt you to see him resort to such methods. Even if it was for a case. That man was willing to dance with death in order to prove he’s right about something.

‘’Okay’’ You replied reluctantly.

‘’There will be a car outside for you. Update me as soon as you can.’’ And with that, he hung up.

You took a few minutes to compose yourself, before getting up. You decided against getting changed, you figured showing up in some plaid pyjama trousers and the black vest top you’d fallen asleep in would suffice. You grabbed a jacket before slipping on your trainers and heading out of your flat. Sure enough when you got to the lobby of your apartment building, there was a sleek black car waiting to take you to Baker Street.

The whole ride there you were thinking about what to stay. I mean what exactly are you mean to say to someone who’s probably higher than the Eiffel tower right now. Even now as you stood waiting for someone to open the door, you were coming up empty.

‘’Oh y/n hello dear!’' '

’Mrs. Hudson greeted you warmly as she opened the door for you. ‘’Hi Mrs. Hudson. How are you?’’ You smiled at her.

You’d always been rather fond of her. She was endlessly kind towards you, welcoming you with open arms without any hesitation.

‘’I’m good thank you. You haven’t been round in a while. Come in, come in. We don’t need you freezing on the doorstep now do we.’’ She ushered you in closing the door behind you.

‘’No, I know things have been a bit mental at work lately, I’ve been meaning to swing by. I’m sorry it has to be in the middle of the night. I’m sure you don’t appreciate being woken up by all this.’’ You gesture up the stairs as you spoken.

She just shook her head. ‘’Nonsense darling, I don’t mind at all. You’re welcome at any time. As for Sherlock, well all I can say is at least he isn’t shooting my wall to pieces again.’’ She chuckled as she spoke. ‘’You’d better get up there, see if you can talk any sense into him’’

You nodded, looking towards the stairs ‘’Yeah, I guess. I’ll see you in a bit’’ You took a deep breath, before walking upstairs.

Sherlock must have heard you because suddenly you heard his voice calling your name rather excitedly. You went to open his door but he’d clearly got there before you, flinging it open. ‘

’Y/n, you’re here! John look, it’s y/n’’ Sherlock grinned at you, his eyes wide.

‘’Yeah I can see that, I’m not blind’’ john retorted from behind the detective.

‘’Hi’’ You said, chuckling nervously.

‘’You’re bloody amazing you know that?’’ Sherlock said.

You went to reply but were cut off by Sherlocks arms wrapping around you, pulling your body close to his as he rested his head on your shoulder. You let out a gasp as your arms hung awkwardly by your side. What the fuck had he taken? Just as quickly as the hug had begun, it was over as he pulled away from you still smiling. He turned and walked back into his apartment, focusing on some paper work spread out on his desk. You just stood there, a shocked expression smacked across your face.

‘’You okay there?’’ John asked, shaking you slightly. You blinked at him before nodding your head.

‘’What has gotten into him? Well drugs apparently, but he’s never normally this…’’

‘’Happy? Elevated? Fucking insane?’’ john suggested, looking over at the man who was now in a heated discussion with a skull that he kept on the fireplace.

‘’Yeah. I mean usually when he’s been caught high, he’s all grumpy and just curls up in a ball probably hoping we all shut up and leave him alone. But this, this is new’’

‘’are you saying you prefer the moody, short tempered bastard version of these events?’’ John asked raising an eyebrow at you.

You watched Sherlock move around the flat rather erratically, a feeling of discomfort forming a pit in your stomach.

‘’I don’t know yet’’ You replied honestly.

‘Ah y/n, come here’’ Sherlock waved you over to him, where he was now sat back down at his desk.

You shrugged your jacket off walking over to him, leaning against the desk.

‘’You need something?’’ You asked him, folding your arms.

He broke his gaze away from his laptop, looking up at you. His eyes took their time gazing over your figure making you shuffle nervously under his stare.

‘’You truly are beautiful you know.’’ His words sounded so genuine, you were taken a back. ‘’Anyway, I needed to ask you something but I forgot what it was. I’m sure it’ll come back to me’’ And with that, he shrugged and immediately went back to typing away on his laptop.

You just stared down at him. Sherlock never complimented you, or if he did the most you got was a short ‘’well done’’ or ‘’good job’’. He had never commented on your appearance, only ever on your work and he had most certainly never called you beautiful.

‘’AH’’ Sherlock clapped his hands together, making you jump. ‘’that’s what I was going to say, I remember now. It’s not a question mind you.’’ You rolled your eyes, slowly getting more agitated.

‘’What was it then?’’

‘’I may or may not be a tiny bit in love with you. Okay maybe a lot in love with you but that’s besides the point’’

For about the third time that night, you were stunned to silence. What. The. Fuck. There was no way you had just heard him say that.

‘’I need a drink do you want anything?’’ Sherlock asked as he got up and walked to the kitchen.

That’s when reality hit you. He didn’t mean it, he was high. It was just the drugs elevating his mood. He cared for you, you knew that. But now with whatever he’s taken he clearly thinks he loves you But he doesn’t. He’s made it perfectly clear in the past how he feels about love and relationships. Maybe he’d picked up that you had feelings for him and was now using them against you as some kind of joke? It wouldn’t surprise you. You’re heart sank as you faced the reality of the situation.

‘’Fuck you man’’ You mumbled as you moved yourself away from the desk.

‘’What?’’ Sherlock turned to see you with your back to him, standing by the sofa. ‘’Was that to me?’’

‘’Well it sure as shit wasn’t to john’’ You snapped, running your fingers through your hair.

‘’What did I do?’’ Sherlock asked. For the first time this evening, he looked sober. He looked like him again.

‘’You know what you did, you prick. Look it might be all a joke and funny to you now because you decided to go and inject fuck knows what into your body yet again – but the way I feel is not something I’m letting you mess with. Not anymore.’’ You grabbed your jumper, throwing it on before heading to the door.

‘Y/n wait please-‘’

‘’Make sure to tell Mycroft what you took. He wants to know’’ You said before heading down the stairs and rushing out the door, tears slipping down your face.

Your phone rang in your pocket. You knew it was sherlock and you had no interest of talking to him. Not now, or any time soon. First Tom, and now this. You were exhausted and you didn’t want to deal with any men for the foreseeable future. But part of you wondered, what if he’d meant it? Was there any way he truly could love you? You shook your head dismissing your thoughts. No, he wasn’t thinking straight. By the morning he probably won’t even remember what it is he said to you. What a fun conversation that would be. But you would deal with that later. For now all you wanted to do was go home, curl up, fall asleep and forget about the rather handsome detective.

[aerospectrum]

Dean felt guilt rush through his system like a dam overflow; red splashed across his nose and cheeks and stretched itself up over his ears and he sat there in silence; bracing himself for her to either slap him again or just get out of the car with a few choice words to follow. His breathing was fast and shallow and his eyes remained locked on the frayed fabric on his leg until she asked if he understood.

Part of him wanted to ask ‘well what about Cas’ but he didn’t want to blow his one and only shot making it about that baboon. So instead he nodded- trying to not look entirely like a dejected school boy.

When Dean heard her unbuckle he closed his eyes slowly; exhaling the regret and waiting for her to get out and leave so he could swear at himself in the comfort of his own… destruction. Even if he hadn’t lied to her… it was shady what he’d done and he knew that. He just hated that she’d been trapped by this guy for so long. And that he walked all over her; that he spent his time tearing her apart and making her question herself constantly when he was the slimy underside of a trash bin.

But what he didn’t expect was for Madison to scoot up close and kiss him; no that was even further from the last thing he was expecting her to do. Yet the comfort and reassurance it brought was enough to convince him to look her in the eyes once more.

“… are you gonna ream Castiel’s ass for this too? It was his idea.” The words just slipped out or rather forced themselves out and he couldn’t eat them back up even if he wanted to. His eyes drifted upwards- silently cursing himself and his stubborn stupidity. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He answered seriously. “I’m really sorry, Madison.” His expression was stormy and he genuinely felt like shit for almost throwing all of the last.. 36 hours out the window. “You don’t have to stick this out with me if you don’t want, I’m an adult- I know my actions have equal consequences I can accept them…”

he felt like a live wire being rained on. It didn’t feel good to swallow his pride and admit he’d hurt her even if it was unintentional. “ I just, I don’t want you to feel trapped just because I gave you a safe place last night you don’t… you don’t owe me anything; not even a second chance. I just- I wanted to help and I thought doing it this way would save you the trouble of having to see him again or have him try to…” he continued to try and not fumble his words. “To weasel his way back into your good grace and I didn’t think…” he lingered in the phrase for a beat. “ “I didn’t think how it would make you feel. I’m sorry. I’d- I’d really I’d get it if you ran out of here swearing to the heavens. I know I earned it. So I wouldn’t stop you.”

The time between her question & his answer felt like forever. She had a twist in her stomach & she felt her knees tremble so hard that she could feel a tense feeling throughout her bought. Very very slowly she was turning to look at him. She hadn’t been scared for her life in some time, & even though she had felt this feeling before many times…. It didn’t get any easier. In her mind she could only think of 5 words:

‘He’s going to kill me.’

But Dean exclaimed no. And the breath she was holding in came out in a rush. The tension was still there & she was still trembling, but the frightened feeling was gone. For now. Knowing Zach was not harmed made her feel better.

Did she actually care about Zach? Maybe? Maybe not…. Maybe she was just scared or getting caught in the crossfire & being punished for something she knew nothing of. She was scared of being hurt.

Madison listened to his reasoning. Brows pulled together at first, but the more he spoke, the more she understood what he was trying to do. Did he execute it well? Sneaky yes. Well in terms of her approval…. No. But was she grateful….. surprisingly yes. His words were hard to hear because they were the truth & it hurt so much more hearing out loud than it did in her head.

“I don’t like that you lied to me. I don’t like that you went behind my back & didn’t consult me first. You & cas.” Madison rubbed her arms trying to comfort herself. “This…. This is the first & last time you ever do something like this to me.” She whispered it, “do you understand me?”

This was his one free pass.

“You took me in last night, you held me, you treated me so kindly. And this morning I kissed you because for the first time in years I felt free. No man to control me, no man to beat me, no man to lie to me…..”. She shook her head letting her hair bounce.

“Do not let me put trust into you, only for you to hurt me w/ your lies.” Madison unbuckled herself & scooted closer to Dean. Once she was close enough she leaned in to press a kiss to his lips. A soft kiss. “You will come home w/ me, & you will stay, & I will feel safe because I’m w/ someone who hasn’t betrayed me.”

Madison pulled back & settled into her seat. “First & last time Dean.”

[dcvilgrams-icquotes]

Miscellaneous Dialogue Prompts

“Whatever possessed you to do that should possess you more often.”

“Okay, what did I do?” “What do you mean?’ “You look like you want to rip my head off.” “Sorry, that’s just how my face works.”

“I have a solution.” “Thank goodness.” “It involves fire.” “Absolutely not.”

“This way is more efficient.” “This way is going to get us killed.”

“You scared me!” “Well, I am naturally terrifying.”

“You really think this is a smart idea?” “Nope.” “Good. I’d be concerned if you did.”

“I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

“Is that blood?” “No?” “That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

“I’m pretty sure it was a ghost.” “I’m pretty sure it’s not.” “Oh, really?” “Ghosts don’t bleed.”

“I have to take credit for this.” “I think you mean ‘blame.’”

“Sorry I’m not reacting to this news with appropriate excitement, I’m really hungry.”

“Are you clinically insane or just incredibly annoying?” “I don’t know, probably both.”

“Should we do something?” “You mean besides laugh?”

“Will you be quiet?!” “I didn’t say anything!” “Well stop thinking so loud!”

“Just… take a deep breath or something!” “TAKE A DEEP BREATH?! It feels like my insides are being RIPPED OUT!”

“I don’t like saying ‘I told you so,’ but—” “The hell you don’t, it’s your favorite phrase.”

“You’re an idiot. I’m an idiot. We’re the co-presidents of Club Idiot.”

“What’s our exit strategy?” “Our what?” “Oh my god, we’re gonna die.”

“I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” “And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”

“We play dumb, but I swear we know exactly what we’re doing.”

“It’s charming!” “It’s probably haunted and we’re all gonna die.”

“I know there was a compliment somewhere in there, and I’ll take it.” “You piece of shit.” “Ah, there it is!”

“I’m personally offended that you didn’t ask me to be your fake date!”

“Are you sober?” “I’m… moderately functional.” “I’ll take that as a no.”

“Please be quiet. I can’t even hear myself losing the will to live.”

“I would call you an imbecile but that’d be cruel as you wouldn’t be able to spell it.”

“Not everything has to be an argument, you know.” “Yes, but I can tell you that you’re wrong in seven different languages, which gives me the advantage.”

“If we die, I’m gonna spend the rest of our afterlives reminding you that this was all your fault.” “That’s cool, I wouldn’t mind having company while being a ghost.”

“How do we keep getting into these situations?” “[#] years of friendship and I still don’t know.”

“Are you there?” “Physically, yes. Mentally, debatable.”

“You are the least subtle person I know. Your ‘I have a secret’ vibe is literally visible from the moon.”

“Can you hit him with your knife?” “I believe the technical term is ‘stab.’”

“Wanna see what kind of trouble we can get into?” “Oh god, we’re gonna die, aren’t we?” “It’s a Tuesday, I know how to restrain myself.” “You absolutely do not.”

“Whatever it is, I didn’t do it.” “You always say that, and I never believe you.”

“Are you sure I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I just break his nose a little?”

“I already did my part. If you need anything, ask anyone but me.”

“Can you please go be stupid somewhere that’s far away from me?”

“I had a thought.” “Oh no…” “I swear it’s a good one this time!”

“Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner having another existential crisis.”

“On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if—” “At least a twenty.”

“A is for organization.” “According to what alphabet?”

“When this is all over, I want my sanity back.”

“Oh my god, I had the exact same dream!” “Really?” “Are you nuts? Of course I didn’t.”

“So what’s your plan?” “My plan is to follow your plan!”

“This is gonna end in disaster.” “That’s surprisingly optimistic.”

“Unfortunately, there’s no way we can do this.” “Fortunately, you’re wrong.”

“All I know is— one of us is right, and the other one is you.”

“If you tell me again that we can’t do this, I’m gonna kick you somewhere you’re not gonna enjoy.”

“It doesn’t work like that.” “It does now.”

“If you do that again, I’ll throw you out that fucking window you— what are you doing?” “Checking how high the drop is, to see if it’s worth it.”

“Are you even listening to me?” “Yea, it just takes me a whole to process so much stupid all at once.”

“The real treasures were the memories we made along the way.” “I almost died!” “Ah yes, that was indeed a memory.”

“Now that I made it weird, I’m going to make my exit.”

“I’m bitter and complicated. It’s one of my charms.” “I don’t think you know what that word means. Or how to count.”

“Where is the idiot, anyway?” “I’m right here.” “Surprisingly enough, I’m not talking about you this time.”

“Look, if you want to conjure some demon spawn from the great beyond, that’s all fine and dandy. Just wait for me to leave before you start.”

“Nah.” “Don’t you ‘nah’ me!”

“I believe that was the very think I told you not to do.” “Did you really think I’d listen?”

“Well, if you’d woken up properly the first time I kicked you, I wouldn’t have had to do it four more times.”

“… Just to be sure we’re all on the same page.” “Page? We’re not even in the same library!”

“We can’t have a crisis — my schedule is already booked full.”

“I have a plan.” “Is it a good plan?” “I have a plan!”

“The universe just loves proving me wrong, doesn’t it?”

“I suppose I could forgive you.” “Now, or in ten years?” “I don’t quite know yet.”

“Did you see that?” “Um…” “The correct answer is no, no you didn’t. Now walk faster.”

“I would like to join you in acknowledging the difficulties of your life.” “You are the worst at this ‘comfort’ thing.”

“Sorry, I spout out random facts when I’m nervous.”

“You are all remarkably well-behaved tonight… What did you do?”

“That’s not a happy story.” “Well I don’t live a happy life.”

“You have to listen to reason!” “But reason is boring!”

“Trust me, I was an extremely irritating child.”

“I need to go de-stress.” “Where are you going?” “To demolish something— probably the living room.”

[julesclues]

hi boooo! You’re legit my favorite author on here! I love your writing so much 💕 was wondering if you could do one: outer banks JJ getting so drunk at a party and throwing up at the party and getting sick all over JB car going back to the chateau with all the pogues. And like reader (not Girlfriend yet) taking care of him please 🥺 thank you so much!!!! 😍😍😍 I know you’re busy so like take you’re time and if you don’t want to it’s fine too 💕💕

Drunken Confessions

Warnings: excessive and underage drinking, cursing

Pairing: jj maybank x reader

Word count: 2.48k

Summary: JJ drinks a littleee too much at a party, which makes the reader worried about him. So being the great person she is, she decides to take care of him.

a/n: thank you for the kind words in your request! It really means a lot! <3

3 things JJ Maybank loves most in this world: sex, surfing, and booze. Emphasis on the booze because once he started, it was almost impossible to stop him which, was currently the situation at the party you were all at.

It was a normal party, one mixed with tourons and pouges. But a normal party for JJ obviously meant drinking. You always worried about him when he would over do it like he is now. Though you were all used to the underage drinking, it was kind of hard to remember that it still is, technically, illegal.

The music was almost too loud. You could barely hear your friends as they each took turns telling stories about their most embarrassing moment. “Mine’s gotta be in 3rd grade when I was in the talent show for dancing and wound up twirling off stage,” Kie exclaimed, making all of you laugh. Pope went next and then John B and as you went around the circle, you realized JJ was no where to be found. You stood up in worry and searched the party for his unique clothing style and beautiful set of hair. “Where is he?” You ask, making John B tilt his head. “Who?” You roll your eyes and look at him. “Your best friend?” You ask with a laugh. Before John B could answer though, you all heard some yelling in the distance. Turning your head to the sound, your question was answered.

There was JJ. Standing on top of a table. Chugging beer after beer, almost as if he was putting on a show for the cheering audience under him. They were all applauding him as he downed the substance, some of it pouring down his chest, turning his dark blue tee into black. You groaned in annoyance as you and the other pouges ran up to him. You pushed through the crowd and made your way to the front, giving you the perfect view of JJ’s drunken state. You sigh and stick your hand out to him. “JJ!” You yell, but he still continued to pour the drinks down his throat. “Maybank! Hey! Let’s go!” You attempt again, but it’s no use. So, you climb up on the table with him, earning even more cheers from the people below. Maybe they thought you were going to join him.

He finally turns to you and his eyes light up. “Y/n!” He exclaims happily. As much as you loved JJ, in this moment, you were pretty upset. All you wanted was for him to just take care of himself so he wouldn’t do stupid shit like this. “Let’s go J,” you whisper only loud enough for him to hear. You reach out to him but he dodges your touch. “No!” He yells, scanning the people below. “Please J. Come on. Please let’s go home,” you plead, making JJ turn toward you. This time, his eyes were soft and warm, almost as if he had turned sober for a quick moment. “Ugh, fine,” he groans, but secretly doesn’t mind the feeling of your finger tips guiding him off the table and back to the pouges. You ignored the boo’s you heard from the others, but they soon forgot about it. To you, they weren’t worth JJ’s time.

“He’s shit faced,” you state to the other pouges, as JJ leans further into your side. Without you, he might have fallen over. “What’s new?” Pope laughs, making you roll your eyes. You knew that this was normal for JJ and that the pouges took it as a joke, but that doesn’t mean it should’ve been normalized. You always worried about JJ and the fact that the other pouges didn’t, made you upset.

You sigh as you sway awkwardly with JJ, thinking about what to do. “Can we just take him back to John B’s? He can’t be drinking anymore guys,” you plead, as John B nods and grabs his keys to the van. “Let’s go then.” You all start walking to the van, you and JJ a little bit behind due to his wonky walking. “You’re cute,” he laughs in his drunken state, making you smile a bit. JJ flirting with you both sober and drunk wasn’t out of the ordinary, but it never failed to make you blush like a middle schooler. “You too J,” you admit, and he chuckles without saying another word.

You make it to the van where Kie holds the door open for you two to hop into the back. You shove JJ in first, having him sit near the window while you sit in the middle and Kie sits next to you guys. John B starts the van and starts driving, which makes JJ hold his stomach. You’re the only one who notices it. “You okay JJ?” You ask him, but all he does it roll down the window. “I’m gonna throw up,” he mumbles, making your eyes go wide. “Oh no JJ, not in the van please,” John B begs. JJ doesn’t say anything as he sticks his head out the window and starts violently throwing up. All of you groan and laugh, as you rub JJ’s back to soothe him. You repeat the phrases “it’s okay” and “you’re okay” like a mantra.

You felt something on your thigh and looked down to see JJ’s hand. After pulling his head back out the window, he plops down on the soft seat under him and looks at you with a sloppy smile while squeezing your thigh in reassurance. “I’m good,” he laughs, looking around the van. “Good cause if you ever throw up in my van, I’ll kill you,” John B chuckles, making everyone else laugh along.

Finally making it back to John B’s, with JJ getting sick almost every 5 minutes, you limp with him by your side as the pouges rush to get the door open for you two. “Come on,” you grunt, finding it a bit difficult to hold JJ up by yourself. He keeps giggling and laughing while slurring his words. “Get him cleaned up in the bathroom y/n,” Pope says, and you nod. “We’ll get him water and some tylenol but until then, just make sure he doesn’t throw up all over my house,” John B exclaims, making you chuckle and adjust yourself against JJ. “Sure thing John.”

You walk into the bathroom with JJ and plop him down on the toilet seat. He sways back and forth, struggling to keep his eyes open. “Jesus J, your clothes are so dirty,” you whisper with a sigh. “Would you like me to strip then, princess?” You roll your eyes but can’t help but grin at his flirty words. “Shut it Maybank. Let’s just get you cleaned u-“

Your words were interrupted by JJ rushing to get off the toilet seat so he could open it. He instantly started throwing up, gripping the sides of the toilet until his knuckles turned white. You instantly got on your knees and sat behind him, rubbing his back to try and soothe him. “Shit JJ..” you say sympathetically. “I fucking hate when you do this shit.” After a minute or so of throwing up, he sits down on the floor and wipes him mouth. “Come here,” you mumble, coming closer to him with a napkin, but he swats your hand away. “JJ..” you warn. “Y/n just get out of here, okay? I don’t need you taking care of me.” You blink in surprise of his words and how quickly he can switch up. “Instead of being petty JJ, how about you be grateful that someone cares about you!” He scoffs and looks away. “Whatever,” he hiccups. “Why do you even care? It’s not like you’re my girlfriend.” 

You freeze for a minute, trying to pretend like his words didn’t hurt you as much as they did. “You’re an asshole sometimes JJ. Girlfriend or not, I care about you. So stop denying my help and just shut up! God, I don’t even know why I’m fighting with you. You’re obviously so drunk right now. You don’t mean anything you’re saying.” You get up and stick your hand out for him. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” He looks at your hand and then up at you. You shoot him a smile and he could swear, drunk or not, that smile would be the death of him one day. 

He hesitantly takes your hand, and you pull him up, having him stumble a bit before regaining his balance. You lead him to his bedroom and plop him down on his bed. You kneel down to take off his shoes for him, but he stops you. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes, looking down to the ground. “For what?” You ask him, sitting down next to him. He feels the bed dip down a bit, which makes him sway a little. “For what I said in the bathroom,” he mumbles. You shake your head and chuckle. “JJ, you’re just drunk. I know you don’t mean any of it.” You were always so patient and understanding when it came to JJ. It was one of the many things he loved about you. That’s what made you so different from the other pouges. 

“Y/n?” He whispers. “Hm?” You ask in the same volume that he had used. “I like you a lot.” You smile and grip his shoulder. “I like you a lot too, JJ.” He shakes his head and lays down on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. “No Y/n,” he sighs, while closing his eyes. “I don’t think you understand. I like you a lot.” You tilt your head for a second in confusion, but instantly look at him wide eyed when you get what he meant. “Wha- JJ? Are you serious?” But he doesn't respond. All you heard from him was his silent snores. You get up from his bed and look down at him, to see he was fast asleep. Your breathing starts to pick up as you pace around the room silently. “Oh my god, oh my god. He didn’t mean that, right? He’s just drunk.. right? My god Y/n, who are you even asking? You’re alone. Right.. okay.” You stop pacing and grab a blanket that’s folded on JJ’s bed and cover him, leaning down to give him a quick kiss on the forehead. “You better have meant what you said JJ, or I’ll kill you.” 

You leave a letter for him and go on your way, hoping he calls you in the morning or is not too sick to remember what he meant. 

Dear JJ, 

It’s your favorite person :) You were pretty drunk last night so the pouges left you some water and medicine while I took care of you. When you wake up, give me a call, okay? We kinda need to talk. And please JJ, try not to get so drunk anymore. You worry me when you do. I care about you. Girlfriend or not. 

Love, Y/n <3

-----

JJ wakes up the next morning with a groan and a pounding headache. He felt like he got hit by a truck. He never drinks this much and he knew it, but for some reason last night was different. He was trying to forget. And apparently it worked because he forgot what he was trying to forget. Bingo. He blinks a couple of times to get his vision from blurry to clear before standing up and stretching. He  looks down at his nightstand and finds a folded piece of paper and instantly recognizes your handwriting. 

He opens the letter and reads it. His eyes go wide when he reads “girlfriend or not.” He starts to wonder what he could’ve possibly said to you last night for you to include that in the letter, but his memory is failing him. Nevertheless, he finds his phone and quickly finds your contact, hesitantly clicking “call.” 

You answer after a couple of rings with a chipper yet out of breath ‘hello.’ 

“Hey Y/n..” he says softly, hearing your pants. “Are you okay?” he asks with a hint of concern in his voice. “Yeah J, I-I’m good. Just surfing. Why don’t you join me? None of the other pouges are here, and I’d like to talk to you, if that’s okay.” You didn’t sound mad or upset, which JJ took into consideration. The last thing he ever wanted was to make you upset. “Sure, yeah. I’m on my way.” 

-----

JJ meets you on the beach about 15 minutes after your phone call. “Hey J!” You say, running up to him with a smile. “How are you feeling?” You ask him, and he just rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m a little out of it but the strangest thing is that I don’t remember anything from last night.” Your face instantly drops and JJ is quick to recognize your disappointment. “Oh..” you sigh, biting the inside of your cheek and looking down. “What’s the matter? Did I say something last night? Y/n whatever I said, I didn’t mean it, okay?” You look back up at JJ with a bit of tears in your eyes. “You said you liked me,” you mumble, making JJ tilt his head. “Of course I like you,” he chuckles. You shake your head, realizing you were mimicking his actions from last night. “No JJ. You said you liked me.” His eyes go wide, immediately realizing what you meant. “Oh.. Y/n, I- I don’t-”

“Did you mean it J?”

“Y/N-”

“Just tell me JJ. Please. Don’t lie to me, okay?”

 JJ looks down for a moment, contemplating on whether or not he should tell the truth to you and potentially ruin the friendship, or lie to you, and ruin the friendship even further. He saw how hurt you look when he said he didn’t remember, so maybe, just maybe, there was a slight chance that you liked him back. 

“I like you Y/n. I do. More than a friend. I didn’t want to tell you while I was shitfaced and with you taking care of me. But I did, and I’m sorry. You deserved a better confession from me. I really do like you Y/n but if you don’t like me back then that’s okay. I ju- are you crying?!”

You wipe the tears away as you chuckle from JJ’s concerned face from you crying. “Of course I am, you idiot!” You exclaim, walking closer to him. “JJ I like you too. So much. I was really hoping you were telling the truth because I don’t think I could watch you have one night stands anymore,” you laugh, and so does he. “So does this mean..” his voice trails off but you knew what he meant. You nod with a smile and he returns it, blinking slowly. 

“Can I kiss you now?”

“Please do.”

[proserpina-magnus]

yayy you take requests 🥺 I really love your writing it’s one of the best I’ve come across on the internet I swear

was wondering if I can request a poly!marauder where reader is really snappy/irritated before her period and the boys don’t realize why she acts like that cause she’s usually really kind and loving. she may sometimes not even realize she’s being mean/scary?

she could then out of sudden break down crying over something very stupid - maybe because something or someone really annoyed her

and the boys are literally clueless

Hii! I’m so sorry this took so long 😭😭 this has been in my request for awhile but luckily I finished it today! I hope you don’t mind the delay, anyways I hope you enjoy it! Mwah.

P.S: I also included Peter! I hope you don’t mind (since you didn’t specify).

P.S.S: this is also really bad :)

Irritation (poly Marauders)

Reader: female (she/her)

Warning: irritation (described and displayed), swearing, fighting (mention of blood like once), intrusive thoughts, anxiety (displayed in characters, such as biting nails, words, etc), “baby, love, dove,”, mention of sex (not described though), talk of losing appetite and eating, hurt/comfort, comment to add more.

Word count: 3.6k

You woke up irritated, body aching slightly and adjusting to your upcoming period. You pick at your food, tapping your foot angrily as you listen to every chat. A good 1000 students talking was enough to give you a headache... or at least add onto the one you already had. The littlest sounds, like a fork scraping against the plate, sent you into a fit of rage and you snapped at Remus.

"We get it, the book’s good," you say, staring deep into your plate. Remus let his mouth hang open, mid sentence before closing it. The boys gave you a look, James trying to quickly figure out what the problem was. “…uh, something bothering you? No need to snap at Remus,”

“No need to snap at Remus,” you mocked, James eyebrows scrunched as he made a confused expression. Peter, who sat beside you, had his eyes slanted as he tried to figure out what your issue had been. “James wasn’t trying to-“ Peter had started, But you quickly cut him off.

“Peter, why don’t you just mind your business?” You question, you never had been mean to Peter, not as much as you joked around with the others. This banter confused Peter, and he looked away and bit the inside of his cheek.

“Hey now, don’t get bitchy,” Sirius tuned in, James had sucked in a breath as Sirius uttered the phrase. The boys stayed quiet, even Sirius knew he had said something wrong. You dropped your fork to the plate, it clanked loudly. You stood up, grabbed your bag roughly as the chair scraped against the floor from your quick movement.

“_____, love,” Peter began, trying to clear the miscommunication up with what Sirius had said. You waved him off, eyes glaring around at each of them. Remus had begun to shift awkwardly, not liking the tension, while Sirius had tried to stutter out that he didn’t mean it. James was a bit flushed, hating the anger that was now appearing. Peter had lost his appetite.

You pondered what to say, mouth slightly opened to spew out some insult but you felt ridiculous and teared up slightly. The boys just looked at you, not knowing what to say and somehow that made the situation worse.

“Why don’t you just fuck off,” you rushed out, not really knowing who that was directed towards. Before any of them could get a word in, you had walked quickly out of the dining hall.

“Why’d you say that?” Peter was the first to ask, Sirius feeling attacked over his words. “Well she was being bitchy, Peter you need to stop being such a coward and stick up for us once in awhile,”

“Pads,” James called, Peter rolling his eyes. Sirius snapped his head around, looking at each of them. “Well I’m right! She was making Moony feel bad,”

“She wasn’t making me feel bad,” Remus sighed, and Sirius shook his head and began to get a bit angry. “Yes she was, she had no right to start acting the way,”

“I don’t think we need to focus on what she said, we need to know why she acted that way,” James said, rubbing a hand over his chest. “Did she fail a test or something? Did she mention anything that was bothering her?” He pondered to them.

Everyone shook their heads, they all were confused on why you had acted that way. They had completely forgotten about your period. You never acted so vile on your period, you usually just acted the same. Yet they forgot to realise that not every period was going to be the same and emotions were heightened.

“Maybe Snape said something,” Peter thought, and Remus nodded his head. “True, I did hear that they got partnered for a project in herbology,” Remus said, and all of the boys sorta grumbled at the thought of you working with Snape.

“Yeah if I was partnered with him I’d be bitchy,” Sirius said, nodding his head like he understood now. James hit Sirius on the back hard, and Sirius shot him a look. “Stop referring to her as a bitch,” James said, upset. He never liked the degrading words used against you, there were much better words to phrase your reaction.

“Alright alright,” Sirius said in surrender, feeling guilty now for upsetting you further. Remus stayed quiet, he wasn’t upset about you snapping at him, he was upset at the fact that you felt the need to snap at him.

Peter felt wiry, he didn’t like when you were upset. He always felt like he was to blame, especially since you were always so loving. He decided to go check on you, not liking the tears he had seen in your eyes.

“Where are you going?” Remus asked, he knew exactly what Peter was intending to do but he just wanted confirmation. Sirius and James were deep in conversation, planning on pranking Snape to make you feel better (they had confirmed the issue was Snape, before even asking you what was truly wrong).

“I’m gonna go check on her,” Peter said, cleaning his plate as much as he could as he stacked the dirty dishes together. “I’ll come with,” Remus said, sitting up and Peter took Remus's plate and stacked it with his. “We’re going to go check on her,”

Sirius piped up, standing up before Remus sat him back down with a hand to his shoulder. “Not you, not yet,” Remus told him, and Sirius pouted.

Remus and Peter walked out of the dining hall, and Sirius and James conversed about the prank.

“I don’t think it’s Snape,” Peter said, and Remus nodded. “No, me neither,”

“I just can't figure out what it could be,'' Peter sighed, looking down halls and out windows to see if he could spot you. Remus nodded, sighing as well.

They stayed quiet for a bit, Peter more hyper fixed on finding you (Remus felt the same, but was much better at hiding his worry). Peter stopped, looking over at Remus. “You know she didn’t mean it,” Peter told him and Remus nodded.

“I know, I’m not mad at her,” Remus spoke, and Peter nodded like Remus had. “And you know she didn’t mean to snap at you, it’s not your fault she’s irritated,” Remus said, knowing Peter's thoughts.

Peter nodded, though half doubted it as they continued on their look for you.

—

Peter and Remus hadn’t found you, they had arrived late to transfiguration, Professor McGonagall gave them an eye and told them to sit.

“Where is she?” Sirius asked, James listening in as he leaned closer to where Remus and Peter sat in front of them. Next to James, was an empty seat. Sirius sat opposite of the empty seat.

“Couldn’t find her,” Remus said, James grew worried.

“We will look at the map later,” he said, reassuring the group but it was more for reassuring himself. They all nodded, trying to focus on class, yet they kept wondering about the thought of you.

“No I’m worried,” Sirius said after a while, Remus looked behind them as Peter bit at his nails. “Pads it’s alright; she’s fine,” James stated, but Sirius doubted him.

��You don’t know that, what if what I said made her upset!” He whispered, and Remus turned back around and let James handle Sirius.

“She’s not like that, she was clearly irritated before you talked with her, she’s probably just having a bad day,” James tried to make up any safe possible scenario, he didn’t want to think about dreadful things.

“But-“ Sirius said, and Peter whipped around. “Just shut up Sirius, alright? We will find her after class,” he grew irritated and Sirius grumbled and stayed quiet.

—

They had found you quickly with the help of their invention, but you had put up a wall and just shrugged them off.

“Baby, listen if it’s about what I said this morning,” Sirius began, but you continued to look down at your open book. The library was quiet before, and students listened in to hear the drama of the group.

“Can you just go away? I can't read when you’re talking to me,” you said, mouth in a frown. Remus was the first to realize you really did just want space and he decided it was best to let you get over your irritation, but convincing the rest of the boys was the hardest part.

“She just wants to read guys, come on,” Remus said, grabbing Sirius arm to pull him away from hovering over you (which Peter had noticed was pissing you off). James stayed in place, so did Peter.

“She can’t skip class Remus,” James said seriously, looking down at you as you continued to stare at your book, not sparing a glance at them.

“_____,” James warned, reaching out to hold your shoulder gently and you twitched and removed his hand from your shoulder. “You can't skip class love,”

“Fuck off, you never give Peter or Sirius any shit for skipping,” you scoffed, and James began to get a bit irritated with your rude behaviour.

“Yes I do-“ James was quick to defend himself, and you rolled your eyes.

“Can you seriously fuck off? Like what do you not get about me wanting to be alone? That doesn’t mean I want you around,” you snapped at him, turning around and glaring. “All of you need to fuck off,”

They stayed quiet, looking at you again such as how they did this morning. James stepped back, “alright,” he said, walking out of the library as Sirius followed behind with a grumble.

“We will see you at lunch?” Remus asked and you just ignored him. He decided to follow behind Sirius and James.

Peter stayed, weight going between each foot as he swayed back and forth. You looked over at him, an eyebrow raised as you waited for him to leave, he didn’t.

“I want you to leave,” you said, staring at him like he was incompetent. Peter shrunk slightly against your harsh gaze. “I know what you want,” Peter said, “but don’t you care what I want? What we want?”

“I don’t owe you sex,” you scoffed, misinterpreting what he meant. Peter shook his head, “No, you don’t. that’s not what I meant,”

“What could you possibly mean then?” You asked, huffing. Peter sat down beside you and you slid your chair away. Didn't you get that they were worried?

“What’s wrong,” he asked, “how can I make it better?” He felt completely hopeless. You just shrugged, the wall you had blocked them with slowly falling a bit. But then you remembered that they didn’t even know why you were upset, how could they even forget you had a period? The fury built back up again, all they cared about was themselves. It was always Remus's monthly, never yours.

“You can make it better by fucking going away,” you swore, and Peter did just that.

—

Two days went by, without much effort to talk to the boys. They all tried their hardest to catch your attention and make you feel better, yet their proposals were quickly dismissed.

James had got you many gifts, him and Sirius even snuck into Hogsmeade to get you sweets from honey dukes. You took the sweets, but dismissed them entirely.

Remus tried to talk to you about the books you had been reading, but you told him you weren’t interested in talking with him and left.

Sirius got frustrated pretty easily with not being able to hold hands with you and locked you in the broom closet with him. James had found him an hour later, knocked out.

Peter followed you around, you found many flowers left in your dorm. You had received about 10 letters from him, each every morning, before your first class, during lunch, at dinner, and before you went to bed. You had read them, cuddling with your blankets.

On the third day, you wanted attention and affection. Cramps had made you emotional, you just wanted some attention from your boys. But when you had sat by them at the table, hand going to hold Sirius’s, he had pulled it away from you. You frowned, trying again but he pulled it away. You knew something was wrong, even this morning you haven't received a good morning letter from Peter.

“So what, you think you can just come hang out with us and think nothings wrong?” James asked you, they had all grown irritated with your behaviour. You yourself hadn’t really noticed the way you had been treating them.

“What do you mean?” You asked confused, looking between each of them as they laughed. You felt hurt, knowing they were making fun of you. You tried to hold Peter's hand but he was too quick and pulled it away before you could even touch him.

“You wanted to be left alone,” he reminded you. Remus nodded his head, “you even ignored all of our gifts,” James said, and Sirius laughed and made a joke.

“I didn’t want gifts,” you told them, “when have I ever asked for gifts?” You continued, and they became quiet. Had you been rude to them?

You began to think over the last few days, some things you had done were questionable but it was justified. Couldn’t they see you were emotional?

Did they even care? Of course with these thoughts, your brain forgot to realize all the attempts they made, all the worrying they felt, all the times they talked in private and grew concerned for your well-being.

“You kept snapping at us, you can’t just be rude to us for no reason and then expect us to be okay with it, you don’t get cuddles _____,” James told you firmly, but you tilted your head, you began to get angry again.

“So when I don’t ask for something you give it to me, but when I want to hold your fucking hand that's not allowed? Do you even care what I want?” You asked, you realised how unreasonable some of what you were saying was. You had remembered what Peter had said in the library and you grew quiet.

“Nevermind,” you snapped quickly just as they were about to argue with you. You got up, saddened that you couldn’t get the affection you wanted. You left, heading to herbology.

—

The first class, along with the banter from this morning, ruined your whole day. You had to work with Snape, already in a bad mood.

He had been pretty quiet, so had you, only talking to each other about the project and what was necessary. It was all going fine until the end of the class, when he had said something that made you feel terrible.

“You and the Marauders hadn’t been hanging out recently, I guess they came to their senses that you weren’t really worth it,” he began, who knew why he had said it, but it was enough to trigger some deeper emotional rage. You screamed at him in the hallway, completely losing it at him. At some point, both your wands had been drawn and just before something bloody happened, the professor had stopped it. You had been given detention and since you had been the one that had started the duel, Snape got off scot free.

The Marauders had heard about what happened and what made it worse is that they didn’t try to find you. You passed by James and Sirius in the hall, hoping to talk to them and get all of the anger out about what Snape had said. But they just said a simple “we don’t really want to talk to you right now,”

You watched them walk down the hall, they hadn’t wanted to know if you were okay? They were always curious about any drama revolving around Snape.

You had cried in the bathroom, moaning myrtle was the only one who cared enough to ask you what was wrong. You felt pathetic relying your emotions on a ghost that lives in the bathroom, but it was somehow comforting listening to her weep along with you.

Maybe Snape was right, maybe they did come to their senses.

—

After detention, you passed by the Gryffindor portrait. You had debated for several minutes if you wanted to go see them and finally the fat lady decided to just let you in and told you a “Stop weeping outside my door, I have a date soon and you’re going to ruin it, go in go in,”

You had climbed up the steps, you were going to leave once you reached their door, but it was already open with James waiting for you.

“We saw you on the map,” he said once he noticed you were confused. “Oh,” you said, you looked completely drained and James showed a soft remorse that made you crumple.

“Shh it’s okay,” he comforted, bringing you close as you shakily sighed into his chest. Your arms came to wrap around him, lips trembling as you started to cry. “Let’s get out of the hallway,” James told you, leading you into their dorm as he closed the door for privacy. Your face still buried in his chest, weeping uncontrollably as Sirius sat up from his lying position at the sound.

Peter and Remus piped up as well, as Sirius walked over and took you in his arms. He glared at James, thinking he did something.

“What’s wrong baby?” Sirius whispered gently, guiding you over to the bed as he sat you down on James bed. “It hurts,” you say, not giving much context as they all look at you confused, high in alert and they felt guilty for ignoring you in this state.

“What hurts?” Remus asked, Peter and him had come to stand close as James sat down on the other side of you. James pressed the back of his hand to your forehead, “she doesn’t feel warm,” he told them.

“Love what hurts?” Peter repeated, you sniffled and tried to calm down enough to tell them what was wrong. “My period,” you choked, you thought they had realised by now. The boys became aware quickly that that’s what had been making you upset the past few days.

“You’re periods don’t usually make you this emotional,” James questioned and you scoffed but they decided to let it slide.

“They aren’t always the same,” you told them, wiping your eyes as your uterus twisted again. You let out another sob, you didn’t want to go through this alone.

“I’m sorry dove, we should’ve realised sooner,” Remus said, crouching down as he took you in his arms. You curled yourself into him, he picked you up and switched so he was the one sitting down.

“Snape said something,” you sniffled, face resting in Remus's neck as your nose brushed up against his neck. They all became a bit angry, not liking the sound of that.

“What did he say?” James asked, rubbing your back. You took a moment to try and phrase it, it felt embarrassing to admit that his words had worried you. “He said… that the reason you guys were ignoring me was because you came to your senses,”

“Senses to what?” Peter asked, they all had been confused. “That you didn’t like me anymore,” you whimpered the words, tears welling up again. Their hearts stopped for a second, squeezing so tight they all thought they would pass out. James was angry with himself and Snape. James and Sirius felt horrible for ignoring you right after what Snape had said, they didn’t want to prove his statement.

“That fucking bastard,” Sirius fumed, standing up but peter pushed him back down. “She needs us, going off and throwing a few punches won’t do any good,” he whispered and Sirius looked over at James, but James only agreed with Peter. “Not right now,” he mouthed before they pulled their attention back to you.

“We’re so sorry,” Remus coo’s, rocking you gently as you cry into his neck. They all feel pity and a sense of guilt. “So sorry,” you tell them, feeling horrible for snapping.

“You don’t have to apologise,” James assures, rubbing your hair as he pulls it away from your soaked face. “we didn’t know, that’s on us,”

“I didn’t tell you,” you cried, “I was so mean to you, I didn’t mean it. Snape is right,” Sirius fumes at your thoughts.

“Don’t fucking say that bastard is right, he’s a-“ remus shoots Sirius a dangerous look, telling him to shut up before he upsets you more.

“We shouldn’t have just assumed every period is going to be the same, that's on us love,” James said, kissing your temple. “It ain’t right we care for Remus on his monthly and then ignore yours,” James said and Remus shot him to look like he had Sirius.

“It’s okay,” you say, calming down as you rub your face. “It’s not,” Sirius said, kissing your shoulder. Peter cleans up your face, rubbing gently with a warm cloth.

Without saying a word, they had concluded to spoil you. James had filled a heating pad with hot water, Sirius went down to get a potion to soothe your pain, Remus was helping you into a comfy jumper and pyjamas as Peter was getting the junk food.

After everyone got back and situated, you had found yourself between Remus and James, a black dog cuddled between your legs; it’s head over your lap, while a rat was curled under your chin. A heating pad rested on your stomach, junk food around the bed. You sigh happily, resting your head on James' chest while one hand is running through a thick fur coat, your other hand occupied with Remus's. You felt comfortable, all fights dismissed and forgiven, before you fell asleep, James had whispered “you deserve us, we aren’t going anywhere, not even when it gets rough,”.

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Thrice!!! I denied him!

(under the cut again... sorry about. my words... <3)

The tiny tiny part of the tournament montage where they’re in the sword ring and Wat’s flicking water at Will as he collapses into his corner out of breath. That’s gay sex

Very cool (at Kate’s introduction) how women-being-blacksmiths is like possibly the ONLY historically accurate part of this movie. Cheers to that. Kinda shaky on like.. other stuff. But hey! Cheers!

C CAT’S MEAT????? Hello?????

“… Will, you aim too high”/“If there’s another way to aim I don’t know it” — more weird knight feelings thanks

Chaucer holding Will’s head as he whispers seductive phrases in his ear THAT HE SHOULD USE ON JOCELYN NOT. Not for any other reason. That’s also gay sex

Insane of this movie to have Adhemar unironically judging Will on his “antique” armor but ~deftly~ swerving direct confrontation by saying “how stylish.” Insane. Is this. Is this real

Nothing compared to Chaucer’s first lance-intro for Will. Stunning. It makes me think things like. Is this real?

Also, is the enunciated “the pride, the privilege—nay, the pleasure…” a reference to the emphasis on alliterative poetics in the time period/place? If so, cool! I love knowing things

The fact that Will is willing to risk his eyes by not tilting his head/helmet at the last second to protect them so he can maintain target… and his “style—rudimentary.” I’m feelings

Will’s sparing the injured “Coleville” is on the one hand giving me more knightfeelings but. He would advance if he beat him (which would be mean since “Coleville” is hurt) but he advances with the draw anyway? He sacrifices nothing with his “mercy…” I have Thoughts. I have thoughts! I’m thinking!!!

“You may feel like a poet, but you sound like an idiot” NEVER FUCKING MIND I have feelings again. I have FEELINGS he’s just like me fr

Jocelyn’s hair tied up with the. With the bits all over the place and the bright yellow gown with the long flowing sleeves and the gold chain bits around her cleavage area. Thinking things

The flashback scene. Where little Will says confidently he’ll be a knight and his dad says that he can do it. I’m having feelings. Don’t look at me

“You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting” lives in my head rent free as a phrase. What a killer line

THE TEACHING WILL TO DANCE SCENE. GOD. THIS MOVIE IS THE BEST I SWEAR !!!

I will say my enjoyment of that scene is mitigated by Kate teaching him to dance better than Chaucer can because she knows better because it’s womanly to know how to dance or whatever. Ugh

The real-life dance scene (with the beginning in the super formal medieval old-time style and then David Bowie starts playing and they all gradually start freaking it) is still great. It’s the worst and the weirdest dancing ever. It’s such bliss to watch

The literal Nike swish as the mark of Kate’s trade. Insane

“His people starve while he sits at banquet” — more feelings. When I fenced I always performed way better if I was fencing either a genuine asshole or a person I thought was an asshole. It’s a simple way to deliver “justice” but. I really thought I was making a difference. That’s pathetic and stupid but also…? Agh, I dunno. I just watched this movie a lot as a kid and Will rubbed off on me I guess

The fact that the crowd recognizes Edward, Black Prince of Wales when he removes his helmet is unrealistic as fuck. They didn’t even know basic math

The ultra-ultra-dumbed-down “feminism” (see: “Better a silly girl with a flower than a silly boy with a horse and a stick”) is so cringe. Please stop. Please

The love letter written amongst peers is cute… there are aspects that are cringe and all but cute… it’s just. A little shaken box of the things these people have thought of or that people have said to them that made them happy. And they’re doing it together. I’m normal

The importance of names is like. A very significant aspect of this I think. “Ulrich” is fake. “Coleville” is fake. “Jocelyn” keeps her name secret until she’s willing to trust Will. And Will is sad that he can’t sign the letter his real name; that he has to use his fake one instead. It’s very very Me lads. It’s Me. It’s m— *gunshot*

Jocelyn kissing Will through Wat and making Wat and Will kiss. I know it’s like a basic homophobic joke. But need I say— *gunshot*

Chaucer actually speaks French whereas the rest of the cadre don’t. It’s probably a sign of education status I guess? Interesting though how in this time period the French and the English HATED each other but like. They were the same, too

??? Wait Wat calls that French guy in the pub “Quasimodo” but. Víctor Hugo was like. Five or so hundred odd YEARS from being BORN much less writing Hunchback. Was Hugo referencing something else or—?

Jocelyn and Will are the MOST cringeworthy hetero-trained-toxic nonsense. Cringe. Cringe. Cringe

“Contradict[ing] [his] self-love” as Jocelyn’s demand is. Red-flag behavior. MASSIVE red-flag behavior

Her insistence that he lose the tournament to prove his love for her instead of winning DOES counter my previous skepticism of the “mercy” he shows “Coleville” but. It’s complicated… like. YES it’s a mark of honor to be able and willing to make sacrifices, but she doesn’t know what he’s got on the line. How much losing would cost him… He should be willing to sacrifice, but so should she, and they should. I dunno they should just look out for each other, man!! They should want the other to be happy and fulfilled because they love the other more than anything, and both should do that for each other. That’s what makes love so magical I think! And it doesn’t necessarily contradict “self-love”

Okay on a less serious note. The vice used for correcting Will’s arm injury. Where Wat taunts him as he winds the crank and Will screams in pain as his bone is put back in place but it hurts so bad and he’s bound in the vice with leather straps etc. M my. My sex feelings. My sex feelings. This could be where it began… ESPECIALLY with the: “William, that’s blasphemous” *winds crank* *Will screams in agony* OUGHHHHHHHH

The fucking. Helmet that goes flying for the seated audience to catch in the stands. Like a goddamn baseball. I love this movie

Okay that’s it for 3 but!! There’ll be more to come! Betcher bottom dollar! *gunshot*

A Knight’s Tale (pt. 1)

Listen I’m. I’m WEIRD about this movie okay?? I’m weird!!! To avoid giving my loved ones a direct play-by-play I’m here. Giving you guys a play-by-play. Because I can’t just keep it inside you know?? I’ll blow up or something!!

The uncertainty Will shows in his adjustment of the armor and the moment on the tilt when he struggles to position the lance right under his arm MIXED WITH the insistence that he’s “waited [his] whole life for this moment.” I dunno!! It just—I guess for me it really speaks to the Young Me idealizing chivalry and courage and honor and etc. and whatnot and being always unsure whether I could really live up to… it? Of course that’d be before I knew that wasn’t really real. Knighthood was always a dream for dreams, I guess. A real fairytale. An untruth within untruths… all the way down? I SHOULD just leave it behind but… it gets meee, you know? It gets me!! It gets at this feeling in my heart and—arghrghaghrgghhhhhhhhhh

The score is fucking incredible. The lord who hosts the first tournament mouthing along to “rock you” in Queen’s “We Will Rock You” in the most stately/dignified way he can muster. Cinematic gold

AGAIN with Will’s. Bravery and misplaced certainty. It’s naive. It’s frustratingly stupid. But “We could do this. We could be champions.” I !! I want to believe!!!!!

Also contrast that with Roland’s desire for home and Wat’s for food (and the certainty of food) and the fact that Will’s “glory” will get in the way… thinking. I’m THINKING

“Most of it is the guts to take a blow—to strike one. Guts I have!” OUGHHHHHHHHH

OUGHHHH “That [pointing at a hanged man] is nothing. And nothing is right where glory’ll take us”

I’m normal about this lads I’m so normal!!! I’m normal

“God love you, William”/“I know, I know. No-one else will” is on the level of “I’ll take care of you”/“It’s rotten work”/“Not to me. Not if it’s you”

OKAY less than 15 minutes in BUT I’m tired SO I’m going to sleep. BUT YOU’LL HEAR MORE OF MY MASTURBATORY ANALYSIS BELIEVE YOU ME!!!!!!! MWAH!!!

[libraryofloveletters]

Just A Phase

Evan Buckley x Reader 

Warnings: fem!reader, typical high school nonsense, kinda rude behaviour at first meet, mentions of weed/alcohol and the consumption of, typical cocky jock behaviour, few swear words, being tipsy/drunk

Category: fluff and a little angst 

Word Count: 5.4k

Author’s Note: I just started writing and this is where I ended up so yeah also I feel like I haven’t written in a million years, forgive me if this is shitty // I referred to Buck as Evan for the first little bit because he and the reader had been introduced yet. // thank you to my darling @floralbuckleys for their help!

----

Senior Year Of High School. 

 Evan Buckley, certified jock and bad boy. 

He was the type of guy that only had a soft spot for you, but you didn’t know that yet. Truthfully he wasn’t a mean guy - people just perceived him that way because he was on the football team and popular. He had somewhat of a troublesome reputation.

People knew where he went, trouble followed. 

You, on the other hand, came from a somewhat above average family. Your mom’s a nurse and dad’s a lawyer. They always had big hopes and dreams for you, for you to go off to Harvard in the fall and follow in your father’s footsteps but you didn’t want that. 

You dreamt of being a writer - you couldn't bring yourself to tell your parents that. Since you were young, they had instilled “you’re going to go to Harvard” in you. 

You couldn’t back out now. 

See, high school worked a certain way. You kept to your circles and didn’t mingle with those that didn’t fit into your circle. You and Evan didn’t run in the same circle - he was a troublesome jock and you were a smart preppy girl. 

Being the preppy kid meant volunteering where you could to bulk up your college application hence why you were at school on a Friday afternoon, waiting for the kids to show up. You were part of some tutor program that your chemistry teacher put you into. 

It was mostly just kids that needed some clarification on their work and the occasional jock that needed to pass a course to stay on the team.

You weren't surprised when a group of noisy jocks stumbled in the study hall, reeking of sweat from practice.  

You were surprised to see Evan, he hadn't been in there before. 

“Settle down boys” Mrs. Jacobs told them before sending each guy off to a tutor, leaving Evan standing beside her. “You can head over to y/n” she pointed at you, you gave him a small smile when you glanced up. He looked unpleasant, like he didn’t want to be there. 

He made his way over nonetheless. “Good afternoon” you say quietly, unsure if he heard you. He grumbles a hello as he sits down. 

The first few minutes, it was quiet. He sat there flipping through his textbook and scribbling down answers into the notebook in front of him. 

“Is there anything I can help you-” “I'm not stupid.” 

You glance at him, eyes catching his blue ones looking back at you. “I never said you were.” 

“I'm only here because I didn’t turn in my mid term project and now stupid Mr. Jefferson thinks I don't understand this shit” he explains himself. 

You hum, glancing down at the notebook in front of him, pulling it towards you. Reading over the sheet, all the answers were right. A hum of satisfaction slips pass your lips as you slide the notebook back over to him. 

“Not just another dumb jock then.” your eyes study his face after the statement. His lips curl into a small smile, a hum as he turns his attention back to his paper. 

“So prep life must be dull - no parties, all study.” 

“Who says prep kids don't party ?” 

He chuckles, “maybe the lack of prep kids at the parties.” “I’ll have you know, I party plenty, Evan.” 

Once again, he chuckles. “The phrasing of that statement shows that you clearly don’t- but call me Buck, all the guys do.” he slides the notebook over to you. 

“Check this over, I'll be back” you watched as he stepped out of the study hall and disappeared into the hallway. 

A few minutes pass by, you’re tired and in need of a nap but you blink away the tiredness to read his work. There’s a voice behind you and then you feel something heavy on your chair. Leaning back to figure out what it was, the back of your head hit something hard. You shift in your seat and look up to see your head has hit Buck’s torso. 

“How's the work, peach ?” his voice is low, the drop in octave from before causes butterflies in your stomach. 

Your brows furrow at the nickname, he noticed your confusion and glances down at your top and your eyes follow his only to see that your peach colour bra was sticking out from the top of your shirt. 

You had stretched back into your seat when he stepped out and you hadn't noticed the shift in your clothing.

Pulling the top of your shirt back up, he smiles and returns to his seat. You clear your throat, head down and eyes on the work in front of you as you could feel the blush on your face. 

“Um, the work is fine.” 

“Do you have plans tonight ?” 

“No, why?” 

“Come with me to Johnson’s party, you can show me how prep kids party” he smiles, his words are teasing you- taunting you even. “I would, but my parents are out of town so I don’t have the car and I have to watch the house.” 

“The house won’t disappear if you’re gone for a few hours and I'll pick you up then. What’s your address ?” 

“Buck, I really shouldn't” 

“Y/n, come on. Pull the stick out your ass for one night and enjoy senior year. You can go back to Harvard prep tomorrow.” 

His word choice doesn't shock you, it’s quite on brand for him. He’s looking at you, waiting for your answer and you can't help but give in.

Taking the pen from him, you scribble your address and number on his notebook. “See you at 7?” picking your bag up before slinging it over your shoulder. 

“7? Peach, the party doesn’t start ‘till 9. I’ll pick you up at 10:30.” 

“Oh um- okay.” you hum, confused but you agree anyways. 

--- 

10:45 and you were sitting on your couch, glancing at your phone and back to the window. 

You had been stood up once before but to be stood up by a jock, and a popular one ? Will be the death of any social life you had. 

Finally there’s a knock on your door and you get up a little faster than you would have liked but you make your way over. Pulling it open, you met with Buck. 

“Ready ?” 

“Sure, let me grab my phone” you leave the door open, stepping back to the couch. Buck had disappeared from the doorway when you returned, you locked up and followed what looked like headlights to the driveway. 

Buck sat on his bike, he scoots forwards a bit before patting the space behind him. 

“No.” you mumble. 

“What ?” 

“I’m not getting on that thing.” 

“That thing ? I'm offended. Come on, you’ll be fine.”��

“Evan, no.” 

Buck gets up, making his way over to you. His hands grab yours, looking at you now. “Y/n, I promise you that you’ll be fine. Can we go now ?” 

“I’ll kill you if something happens to you” you grumbled as you reluctantly made your way over to the bike. Buck gets on first, you mirror his actions. Your hands were to your side, Buck reached back and wrapped them around his waist. 

“You good back there ?” 

“As good as I could be.”

-- 

The house, who you assumed belonged to Johnson’s parents, (you had no idea who Johnson was because you barely ever went to the football games) reeked of alcohol and weed. 

Your face didn’t hide your displeasure as well as you thought it had. Buck chuckled as he slung his arm over your shoulder. 

“So is this what you do ?” you shout over the loud music, Buck was saying hello to someone he knew and wasn't paying attention to what you had asked him. 

You manage to wiggle your way out of his grip and find your way to the kitchen. It’s a few minutes later that Buck finds you sipping on a beer. 

“You drink ?” he gives you a questionable look with a smile on his face. 

“You brought me to a party so I'll do what people do at a party” you hum, leaning back against the counter. He finds his way to you, leaning back against the counter too. 

“Enjoying the party ?” 

“Not really, you kinda left me to talk to some guy for twenty minutes” 

“That guy happens to be our star quarterback.” 

“I care why?” you glance up at him. Buck’s face is pure amusement, you aren't sure if you’re the cause of that or something else but the way he's looking at you- you can feel the butterflies again. 

“Buck!” a group of guys shout as they make their way into the kitchen. They all say hello to him, some are drinking, some are shoving chips into their mouths. 

You stay quiet while Buck talks to them and judging by their varsity jackets, it was safe to assume that they were on the team with Buck. 

“Who’s your friend ?” a brunette guy asks him, stepping towards you. 

“I’m y/n, you are?” you ask before Buck could. 

“Mike, call me Johnson.” 

“Oh, so this is your place ? Cute house” you give him a smile, he laughs. 

“How do you know Buck?” Johnson asks, he was nosy for a drunk guy. 

“Just bumped into each other, we have class together” you lie, not sure if Buck wanted them to know how you really met, Buck gives you a small smile. 

“You’re pretty, how about a dance ?” his hand grabs yours. 

“Thanks but no thanks” you give a polite smile before pulling your hand away. 

Johnson takes a step forward, his hand reaching out and grabbing your hip. “C’mon, dance with me” you could smell the alcohol on him- he reeked. You push his hand off, “I said no thank you” you tell him once more, being ever so polite. 

“Y/n, c’mon, one dance baby” he takes another step, he’s now face to face with you. Before you could say anything, Buck is in front of you, between you and Johnson. 

“Dude, she said no. Leave her alone.” 

Buck’s sudden need to protect you was much appreciated. Usually if a guy did that, especially a jock, you’d be weird out because they never pay attention to you- but Buck, you had this indescribable feeling, pride, satisfaction, maybe even relief ? 

“She’s not even your girl, why are you protecting her?” 

“Doesn’t matter, she said no so get out of her fucking face.” Buck’s hand was against his chest, pushing him away as his other hand reached back for yours. It would be cheesy to say that your hand fit in his like it was made to be there but it was true. 

Buck’s hand was still in yours as he pulled you out the back door. Your back was up against the wall as he stood in front of you. 

“Are you okay ?” you could hear the concern in his voice - different from his usual tone. 

At a loss for words, his eyes study your face. Johnson was a douche and he knew that, he mentally cursed himself for even bringing you here. 

“Y/n.. talk to me” he takes a step towards you. 

“Buck,” your hand presses against his chest, “I'm fine. It’s not the first time a drunk guy has hit on me” 

A breath of relief slipped past his lips, “do you want to leave?” his face softens when he asks. “No, I'm alright.” 

“Stay here, I'll be back” his hand comes down and squeezes your waist gently before he steps back into the house. 

--

It was a while before Buck returned. He had disappeared into the house for half an hour and when he returned, you were by the pool with a pingpong ball in hand. 

“Suck it!” your loud laugh filled his ears, you took a sip from the red cup in your hand and you watched as the guy across from you drank the beer in the cup that the ball landed in. 

“Looks like you’re having fun” Buck smiles, now beside you. 

“Hey!” you reeked of beer at this point. “I’m having fun” your words come out in a slurred mumble. 

“Mhm okay, I think it’s time to head home” Buck takes the cup from you and sets it down. 

“What ?” Your hand reaches for the cup again, a pout evident on your face.

Buck’s hands finds your waist, hoisting you up and over his shoulder. A louder than expected gasp left your mouth, you felt the cold breeze against your legs as he walked towards the front of the yard. 

He put you down in the backseat of a car but you knew you came with his bike so you were confused, just as you go to ask, he scoots you over and gets in the back with you. Buck’s arm is over your shoulder, you’re so tired that you just lean into him. 

-- 

You had noticed you fell asleep and when you woke, you were on the porch swing at your house with Buck’s hand in your pocket. 

“Whatcha looking for?” he glances up at you when he hears your voice. 

“Keys.” 

“Other pocket” 

He manages to find the keys and get the door open. Getting you in the house was another story. “Y/n, come on” he pulls your hands in an attempt to get you up but you weren’t budging. 

What happened to you being a prep kid and not drinking ? He didn’t even think it was possible to get drunk that fast. 

“No, tired” you mumbles, making yourself comfortable on the porch swing. “Do you want your parents to come home and find you here? I’m cool with leaving you here if that’s the case” Buck teased, he had no idea when your parents were coming home. 

The mention of your parents finding you outside, drunk, horrified you. You got up so quick, you nearly toppled over. Buck helped you inside and onto the couch. He disappeared for a moment and then returned with a glass of water. 

“Small sips” he settles beside you, watching as you take a sip. You hum, resting your head on his shoulder as his arm comes over your shoulder. 

“Buck?” 

“Yeah?” 

He felt your head shift, now looking up at him, eyes full of sleep. You were studying his face, from the birthmark above his eye to his pink lips.

“I really like you, you know” your words filled with sleep as your eyes drooped, you blinked a few times, forcing yourself to stay awake.

Buck chuckles, “that’ll pass peach, I’m just a phase.” He hummed quietly, fingers running through your hair as you drift to sleep. 

--

The Monday after the party, you saw Buck in the hallway after waking up to an empty house on the couch, head pounding even in the deafening silence and and you can’t quite remember how you got home. 

Buck had been radio silence since then but you weren't sure why. He was walking in from the front doors and you were by your locker. You turn to speak to him but he barely glances at you before continuing his conversation with Johnson. 

From that day, you never spoke to Buck again. Last you saw him was graduation day and last you had heard was that he was in college and you were headed off to Harvard. 

----

Present.

You had become a big shot lawyer, everything your parents wanted. Moved out to LA to start your own firm and everything was going well until this morning. 

You had barely walked into the office when the fire alarm went off. The sudden alarm caused an onset of commotion in the office, the woman next to you bumped into you, spilling your hot cup of coffee onto you. 

She mumbled a sorry as she passed but you could feel the heat coming from where the liquid had spilt. Nonetheless, you made your way out, the sound of the sirens from fire trucks blaring. 

Not that you didn’t enjoy seeing the handsome firefighters (or so your co-workers seem to say) but you had a ton of paperwork to do for an upcoming case you had and you barely started. 

You stood by the curb, watching as the firefighters made their way over to the crowd and into the building to clear it. 

“Ma'am ?” A firefighter made his way over to you, there was a helmet in his hand as he passed a hand through his hair. You glance up from your phone, to see what he wanted. 

“May I take a look?” his eyes shifted to your chest where there is currently a coffee stain on your white shirt. “Oh, thank you but no. I’m fine” 

“Are you sure? Because that’ll leave a pretty nasty mark if you don't get it cleaned. If you aren’t comfortable, we have a female medic” he offered, hoping you’d consider. 

“You’re a medic ?” you asked, looking him up and down. He nods, taking a step back. He begins walking back to the ambulance and you follow him. “Do you want me to get her?” 

“No, you’re a professional, it’s cool” you give him a small smile before moving your shirt so he could check. 

The firefighter’s hand was now right under your collarbone, dabbing at your skin with some gauze. His fingers were cold, you weren’t sure if it was actually his fingers or the gloves that were cold but either way you looked at him. 

“What’s your name ?” 

“Diaz, Eddie Diaz” he tells you, flashing you a smile before going back to his job. 

You hum, staying still as Eddie rubs something on your skin. 

That’s when you saw him. 

The same blue eyes, the same blonde hair, the same gorgeous smile that always played in your mind. Not a day went by that you didn’t think of him. You had always wondered what he ended up doing, he was smart and destined for great things, there was more for him than a small life in a place where no one ever really did anything. 

Every guy you had dated, you compared to him. It was always something- they didn’t look like him, they didn’t act like him, they didn’t treat you the way he did, they wouldn't stand up for you like he did. 

He lived rent free in your mind. 

“Ma'am?” Eddie’s voice broke your gaze. “Y/n,” you corrected him, “ma’am is for old women” your eyes going back to Buck. Eddie noticed your lack of attention and followed your gaze. 

“Do you know Buck?” 

“He still lets people call him that ?” you chuckle to yourself, feeling Eddie’s eyes burning a hole into you. 

Before you could answer, his radio buzzed before a voice came through, “building’s clear. Start directing people back in.” Eddie looks over at you, you’re already getting out of the ambulance. 

“Keep that clean and dry” were his last words to you after you left. 

--- 

It wasn’t until you were back in the building that you realized your phone was in the ambulance. 

You were majorly screwed. 

Remembering the medic’s name which was the only thing you remember mids the confusion and seeing Buck after 10+ years. You asked around the office if anyone knew what station responded to the call. You had contacts that worked for the city but the lack of phone made it hard for you to call and find out. 

Finally giving in, you google the medic’s name. There were a few articles that had photos but none of them said anything that helped. There was a video from Taylor Kelly at channel 8 news, some sort of video about the fire station. 

Station 118- that was 10 minutes down the road and you pass it everyday on the way to work. The thoughts began filling your head, had Buck been there all along? 

12 years- 12 long, empty years that you acted like he didn’t exist and that you didn’t want to know what happened between you two but he was right down the road. 

You didn’t even know if you wanted to talk to him. You had finally come to peace with it even though a part of you will always long for what could have been. Feelings aside, you set out to the station to get your phone. 

Upon arriving, there were a few guys by the trucks. You asked for Eddie, assuming that he might have an idea of where your phone ended up or if they even found it. 

“Up the stairs and he should be somewhere up there” the guy pointed, you thanked him before heading towards the stairs. When you got upstairs, it was empty. 

You weren't sure if you should go back down or wait so you sort of awkwardly stood there, glancing around the room. The station was nicer than you had imagined it to be, not that you really had an idea of what to expect. 

Your back was to the kitchen when someone tapped your shoulder. “Can I help you?” his voice called out as you turned. 

Buck. 

You let out a breath, your eyes studying his perfect face for a moment. Do you say something or just pretend like you didn’t know him?

“Yeah, I'm uh- I'm looking for Eddie. I think I left my phone in the ambulance.” 

“Do I know you from somewhere ?” 

“I work at the building down the road, 14th street. You guys were there earlier, hence the phone in the ambulance” you tell him, hoping he drops the topic. 

“Y/n! Hey! What are you doing here?” You see Eddie call from behind Buck. 

Thank god. 

“I left my phone in the ambulance. I figured you’d know what happened to it” you’ve stepped past Buck and towards Eddie now. “I haven’t seen it, but maybe it’s still in there. Come with me, we can check for it” 

Eddie was making his way down the stairs and you were behind him when Buck called your name. 

Not y/n. 

Peach. 

You paused, taking a deep breath in before turning to face him. “I thought I remembered you from somewhere” he smiled, him and his stupid smile. 

“I’m in a rush, Evan. Plus, I'm not in the mood to reminisce.” 

The smile dropped from his face, the guilt crept up on you. The feeling of your stomach twisting, sighing before making your way down to Eddie who was by the ambulance, your phone in hand. 

“There’s more to the story than I thought,” Eddie hands the phone over, you give him a hum and thank him. “Let me walk you out.” he follows you out to your car. 

“You know, whatever he did- he’s changed. He’s a good guy.” Eddie says, his voice sincere. 

“I know, I just- I don't know” 

“What did he do? If I can ask” 

“We were- I don't know what we were. We hung out in high school, just once but he was different from the other guys. He genuinely cared. We went to a party together and he brought me home after. I remember falling asleep with him in the house and the next morning he was gone. Total radio silence that whole weekend and when I saw him at school the following week, he acted like he didn’t know me - it was like that for the rest of senior year. We never spoke after that.” 

Here you were pouring your heart out to a firefighter who you had only met an hour ago who also had seen your bare chest (in a professional way, of course)  on a Tuesday morning in the parking lot. 

“Wow- I can see why you wouldn’t want to talk to him.”

“Yeah, thank you for the phone though. I gotta get back to work” 

“Wait, let me get your number” 

You pause, looking at him with furrowed brows. He seemed confused then he realized how that sounded. “Oh god- no not like that, sorry. I meant maybe we could grab a drink sometimes, as friends and maybe you could tell me more about high school Buck ?” 

“Um- yes to the number and drinks but I don’t know about Buck” you hand the phone back over to him, telling him that you’d text him. 

--- 

It was a while before you heard from Eddie, he said he was off on Saturday if you were up for drinks and weren't busy. The whole team was going out but he invited you along to join them. 

After some back and forth “I couldn't intrude” and “you won’t be, come join us” you finally gave in. 

Now it’s 9pm and you, Eddie and Buck are sitting at a booth. Coincidentally, everyone else was busy. Chimney and Hen who you hadn’t met yet, were with their significant others and kids. So that left the 3 of you together. 

You wanted to walk back out when you saw it was only the two of them but Eddie had seen you and called you over. His phone buzzed just as Buck came back with drinks. 

“Everything okay?” Buck asked his friend, Eddie, still typing away on his phone. “Huh? Yeah, it’s Carla. Chris is running a fever” you could hear the concern in his voice. 

“Chris is your son?” 

“Yeah- I'm sorry I got to go. I’ll make it up to you. Drinks on me another night” Eddie gave your shoulder a squeeze as he stood. 

“No yeah, of course. Go, it’s fine” you smiled. 

“Let me know if you need anything” Buck shifts towards Eddie, the two of them seem to have some sort of routine or way of how things work between them.  

And now there were two. 

Buck sipped on his beer, you sat across from him, your nails tapping against the bottle in front of you. He was the first one to speak.

“So, how have you been?”

“Good. You?”

“Good too. I don’t know if you remember my sister but she had a baby recently so I've been hanging out with her after work”

“Oh, that’s nice. Maddie right?”

“Yeah, she had a little girl. She’s the cutest little girl ever.” Buck pulls his phone out, showing you a photo of him holding a baby in a blanket with a brunette beside him. The woman beside him, Maddie you assumed, was smiling at Buck, fixing the blanket while he looked at the camera, the joy evident on his face.

“She’s adorable and your sister looks the same, she hasn’t aged a day” you hum, passing the phone over to him.

Back to awkward silence.

“What happened to us?” Buck’s question catches you off guard.

“What happened to us? You happened.”

“What? I thought we were friends.” Your eyes met, his full of confusion and yours with displeasure.

“Friends don’t disappear in the middle of the night with no explanation and ignore them for the rest of senior year.” You get up, grab your phone and make your way to the door. Buck’s calling out to you but you don’t want to stop and talk to him.

The night was cold, the wind hit your bare shoulders and you shivered for a moment before walking. Buck was still calling out your name, he had followed you out the bar.

“Y/n! Stop! Y/n, c’mon. Please!” His hand wrapped around your wrist, holding you in place. You pull your hand back.

“No! You don’t get to do that. Act like everything is fine when you disappeared with no explanation. I know we weren’t best friends but I thought we were at least friends. That fucking hurt, Evan.”

“Fine,” he sighs, looking at you. “You want the truth ?” Your brows raised, waiting for him to continue.

“You told me you liked me. You were a good kid, going to Harvard, which you obviously did” gesturing at you, he continued. “I didn’t know what I wanted and I didn’t want you to feel like you needed to be by my side until I figured it out. I knew you would resent me for that and I couldn’t do that to you, I couldn’t do it to myself.”

“That’s selfish. It’s about you ? That’s why you left with no explanation ? You couldn’t do it to yourself ? Man the fuck up Buck, life isn’t about you.” 

“You think I don’t know that ?! You think I didn’t think about you all the time? That I didn’t miss you?” 

“Don’t start with that shit. You knew where I would be. You said it yourself, I was “a good kid, going to Harvard” so if you really missed me, you could have found me.” 

“Y/n, be real. We were just out of high school, what means did I have to go searching for you? I had my own shit to deal with.” 

“Just stop, I don’t even want to know.” 

“No, you stop” 

“No you.” 

“Y/n” his voice was stern, the annoyance clearly there. 

“Evan.” your tone matched his.

That stupid smug smile of his was on his face, that was enough to make you roll your eyes. “’Kay, I'm over your shit.” turning away from him, you go to walk away but his hand grabs yours. 

Still fit like it was made to be there. 

Before you could register what was happening, Buck’s lips were on yours. Maybe time stopped when Buck’s lips met yours but your heart didn’t- it felt like it was beating a million times seconds and the butterflies in your stomach were restless. 

It wasn't clear to either of you at the moment that it had started pouring rain but it didn’t matter. There was this raw emotion in the way his hands felt on your waist or how his chest was pressed to yours. 

Buck would be lying if he said he didn’t open his eyes slightly, sneaking a guilty peek at you just to make sure you weren’t a fiction of his imagination. Every breath he took smelt of lavender and honey, the same scent that had lingered on his mind since the day he met you. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to him, if that was even possible. 

Maybe this was meant to be, fate bringing back what was meant for him to him or maybe this really was all a fabrication of his imagination but he wanted to live in his moment forever. 

It wasn't until thunder rumbled that he pulled away. The rain had soaked your clothes and hair, your makeup had smudged and half of your lipstick was on Buck. 

The same stupid smug smile on his face.

“God,” rolling your eyes at him. “You’re so annoying.” wiping your lips with the back on your hand, hoping that you got all the lipstick off. 

“Yeah, I'm the annoying one” Buck’s face twisted, giving you a playful shove as you stepped towards him. Your thumb comes up to wipe the lipstick off him. Buck’s arm lifts, now over your shoulder. 

The two of you looked at each other as you made your way down the street. 

“Just a phase huh ?” you hum, glancing at Buck. 

The blonde let out a chuckle, “maybe not.” 

--- 

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[idy-ll-ique]

Blurry Lines.

Pairing: CEO!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: MISCOMMUNICATION because oh my god just talk

Requested: nope

Summary: Y/N works for James Barnes, CEO of a very successful tech company. She also has a massive crush on him. One day, she walks in on him kissing his assistant, and a few months in, because of the incident, she turns in her resignation letter. But will Bucky let her go? There's a thin line between professionalism and non-professionalism, blurred in the case of Bucky and Y/N.

Author's Note: hiya peeps! could've just named it "a shakespeare play" because of all the miscommunication but i already have a fic with shakespeare in its title asfhdkfks,,, anyway enjoy!

masterlist

---

There he is.

The man who ruined my whole life.

Y/N stared as her boss, James Barnes, left the elevator, greeting everyone with a polite smile and a wave. Why did he have to be so perfect all the time? He wore a sky-blue-colored suit with a white shirt underneath, his long hair pulled back into a bun with loose strands framing his face, making him look like a Greek God.

She had fallen for him, which was a big, big, big mistake. 1, he was her boss; 2, he was way out of her league, and 3, he probably had a girlfriend because a man like that, single? Hah, no way. "Y/N? Y/N, hello?" She snapped out of her thoughts and looked up, giving the man a small, forced smile.

"Hi, Mr Barnes, good morning." Bucky's smile faltered a bit at her words because she never called him Mr Barnes, he had specifically requested her to call him Bucky. Was he in trouble? "Mr Barnes? Whoa, what did I do?" he joked, though Y/N realized he was being serious. "Sorry, must've slipped out."

"Okay. Good morning to you, too!" He smiled and went to his office. As soon he turned his back to her, Y/N dropped her smile and scowled, crossing her arms. "Stupid man with his stupid attitude and his stupid handsome smile and his idiotic, beautiful blue eyes," she grumbled under her breath as she continued working.

Y/N Y/L/N was an employee of the one and only James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes, CEO of a big tech company called Epsilon. She loved working with him; he paid his employees well, was very kind-hearted, and showed no bias to anyone. When she had first started working with him, she wasn't interested in him at all, romantically speaking.

Then, a few months passed by and she started looking forward to his everyday arrival; seeing him get out of the elevator with his gorgeous eyes, his expensive suits and Cheshire grins became the favorite part of her day. Y/N was damn good at hiding her crush though; she was sure that it would go away with time.

But it didn't.

2 years had now passed since she started working for Bucky and the crush was still there, more amplified than before. But she knew it would never work out between them. So she started distancing herself from him. For some reason, he was very, very friendly with her; she knew he was a reserved man so it was peculiar…

He would be holed up in his office the whole day after greeting everyone. Hell, the only words he ever said to his employees were "good morning" and "goodnight, I'll see you all tomorrow" while the rest of his notices were passed on to them by his assistant.

Still, he always stayed at her desk the longest, making small talk. "The weather is nice today, any plans after work?" he'd ask one day while, "You look gorgeous today, is that a new dress?" the other. It was odd; why did he do it? He certainly couldn't be interested in her, could he?

Y/N sighed, sorting through the stack of papers on her desk when she suddenly noticed that one of them was missing Bucky's signature. She glanced at his assistant's desk; she was nowhere to be found so Y/N got up, walking to Bucky's office to get the signature herself.

She knocked on the door but accidentally pushed it open. The sight that greeted her probably scarred her for life; inside Bucky's office, he was kissing his assistant, pushed up against his desk. Y/N's eyes widened and she immediately turned around to leave, the clicking of her heels alerting Bucky.

"Get off of me," he grumbled, pushing his assistant away as he ran to the door, looking out to see Y/N walking away. "Y/N! Y/N!" She turned around at the sound of his voice and gave him an awkward smile. "I didn't mean to walk in without permission, I'm really sorry, I just needed a signature on a paper, really didn't mean to—"

He waved his arm in dismissal and took the paper from her hands, signing it and handing it back to her. "It's fine." He gave her a small smile as she turned to leave. Bucky then groaned quietly and went back to his office, glaring at his assistant. "What the fuck was that?" he hissed. "You like me!" she whined and he scrunched his nose in disgust.

"What— when did I ever tell you that?! I'm not interested in you," he spat. "So all those glances you gave me, all the times you flirted with me, that was fake?" she shrieked. "Stop yelling," he admonished, "And for the record, I have never once in my life ever flirted with you or glanced at you in any way except professionally. Please snap out of your daydream."

"So what about the kiss?"

"You didn't give me time to push away! And now poor Y/N probably thinks I'm some sort of a playboy who takes advantage of women that work for me— you know what? You're fired. Don't ever show up to his place again." His assistant wailed, her eyes filled with tears.

"I knew it. I knew you liked her!" she accused him and he scoffed. "I don't like her. Now get lost, I have a lot of work to do." She stormed out of his office. The angry clicking of her heels made Y/N and the rest of the employees look up as she staggered towards the elevator. Y/N frowned; what the hell was going on?

"What do you think is up with her?" her friend Rubie whispered. "I have no idea, I caught her making out with Bu— Mr Barnes. I guess they fought?" Rubie's eyes went wide. "You mean he isn't into her? Damn, the bosses always fall for their hot ass assistants, what happened here?" Y/N giggled at her words.

"Well, at least my theory is confirmed."

"What theory?" Y/N blinked. "That he likes you! Think about it; he always greets you with some extra phrases, he always praises your work, and now after you caught him kissing someone else he gets into a fight with them, possibly breaking up. Some of the other women are jealous of you, you know. They think you're super close with him."

"What?!" Y/N harshly whispered, "Utter bullshit. I'm not close with him in any way, he's just my boss and I'm sure they just got into one tiny fight. I swear shit's gonna be back to normal tomorrow." With that, the two got back to work.

---

Shit did not go back to normal tomorrow.

Or for months after that.

Bucky's assistant never really came back, leading many to believe that she had quit. Bucky had become more moody and temperamental, while Y/N's crush on him had escalated to new heights which was frankly taking a toll on her mental health. "I can't keep living like that. I'll just quit and get another job."

Those were the words she had whispered to herself one night as she lay in bed, unable to fall asleep. Bucky, on the other hand, had come to realize that his assistant was right; he did indeed have feelings for Y/N and all he wanted to do was confess them to her and get it over with.

Realizing he couldn't have her and that she only thought of him as her boss had made him moody and angry. While walking from the elevator to his office he no longer greeted her; he couldn't even bear to see her, knowing she was never gonna be his. Y/N, of course, interpreted it in a different way entirely.

She thought he had broken up with his assistant because she caught them making out, and now he hated her for getting in between his relationship. That created a whole new array of problems.

"Hey, whatcha doing?" Rubie peered over Y/N's shoulders as she quickly wrote down her resignation letter. "I'm quitting." Rubie gasped. "You can't do that! Why are you quitting?!" she whined. "Number 1: He fucking hates me; number 2: I still like him and that's a massive problem so yeah, leaving this place is the only good option."

She stood up. "Well, I can't talk you out of it, can I? I'm gonna miss you, Y/N," Rubie sighed and the two ladies gave each other a hug. Then Y/N went to the new assistant's desk, greeting him with a small smile. "Hi, will you please give this to Mr Barnes?" She handed him the letter.

"What's this?" he smiled. "My resignation letter." The smile disappeared from his face, a frown replacing it. "Why are you quitting? Is everything okay?" She pursed her lips. "I'd rather not talk about it, sorry. Just give him my letter, would ya? Thank you." The man nodded and she went back to her desk.

---

"Hey, Ryan— what's this?"

Ryan turned to see Bucky glaring at Y/N's resignation letter. "Oh, sir, that is Ms Y/L/N's resignation letter." Bucky nodded and Ryan left the office. Bucky read the letter, his glare deepening by the time he reached the end of it. She hadn't even specified why she was quitting; it came out of the blue. I can't let her do this.

He couldn't just let her quit like that, he loved her for God's sake! "I'm not letting her go," he snarled to himself, getting up and walking out of his office. When he walked out everyone turned to look at him. "Ms Y/L/N, can I see you for a moment? In my office?" Y/N frowned but got up, following him to his office.

"What's this?" Bucky asked her, holding up her letter. "My… resignation letter?" Y/N replied slowly, confused. "Yeah, I know, I can read. Why are you quitting all of a sudden?" he huffed. "I'd rather not say," she mumbled, suddenly feeling anxious. "What do you mean, you'd rather not say? Did you get into a fight?"

Yeah, with you, idiot.

"No, sir."

"Is it pay? I'll give you a raise right now—"

"It's not that, Bucky. I— I mean Mr—"

"Bucky is fine. So? Is someone troubling you? Someone I need to fire?"

"No. I just want to quit, why can't you accept that?!" Bucky stood up, slamming his hands on his desk. "You have to give me a legit reason! Vague answers will not be accepted!" Y/N glared back at him and the silence stretched on between them. "Wait a minute," Bucky exclaimed suddenly, "I know what's going on here—"

"What could you possibly know?" Y/N quipped sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "This is about that whole Marie thing, isn't it? Y/N, plea—" "No, Bucky! It's not! Why can't you just let me quit in peace?!" she yelled, interrupting him. Months of frustration had finally taken a toll on her.

"Give me an answer and I'll consider it!" he thundered and she took a step back, shocked. Maybe telling him the truth would speed up the process, she thought. "Fine, you wanna know why? Because I'm in love with you. Yes, Mr Barnes, I fucking love you and I can't keep working here knowing you're never gonna like me back!"

"Y/N…" Bucky whispered but she ignored him. "No, you listen to me. You wanted an answer? Well, here it is. I know you hate me for ruining things with Marie and this is the only best option for the both of us!" Bucky couldn't believe his ears. All this time, she'd liked him back. He walked around his desk without her noticing; she was still rambling to herself.

"And why would you even like me back? You don't even say hello anymore—"

Y/N froze when Bucky's lips crashed onto hers, his hands going to her waist to pull her closer to him. A few seconds later she reciprocated, her arms going around his neck. Without breaking the kiss Bucky turned them and picked her up, putting her down on his desk. She wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Feels like we're in a Shakespeare play with all this miscommunication," Bucky laughed when they finally pulled away to breathe. "You like me too? But what about Marie—" He scoffed. "Marie and I were never a thing, she came onto me and I fired her. Before going she said something about me liking you…"

"So?"

"Well at the time I denied it but then… she turned out to be right. And after that, talking to you became difficult because I knew I could never have you, you'd never see me in that way… boy if we'd just talked." Y/N giggled, simply happy to be in Bucky's arms. "What now? What are we?" Bucky traced a finger down her cheek.

"Don't leave me. Please, don't go," he pleaded. "Bucky, we work together, it'll be extremely unprofessional. I— I'm ready to be your girlfriend but I can't work here anymore." Bucky sighed and dropped his head to her shoulder. "Fine, but just because you said yes to being my girl. I'm so in love with you too, pretty face," he chuckled.

Y/N wrapped her arms around his shoulders, smiling. "I'm glad to hear it." He suddenly pulled away, giving her a devilish smirk. "Wanna get outta here?" Y/N's eyes widened. "Wh— now? Bucky, we—" He scoffed. "I'm still your boss, you know, you do as I say." Y/N rolled her eyes. "Do I have to deal with this while being in a rela—"

"Let's just go," Bucky groaned, pulling her to her feet and snaking an arm around her waist as they both left his office, heading to the elevators. Everyone working that day looked up, their jaws going slack as they saw the two with lovey-dovey smiles, fawning over each other. Rubie simply smirked at her friend.

"Oh please, she's quitting!" Bucky rolled his eyes when he noticed the stares. Everyone then only shook their heads and got back to work as Y/N lightly slapped Bucky on the chest, sighing.

---

A/N: Thanks for reading, leave a like if you enjoyed!

[hawks-supremacy]

Pushed Away

summary: Kyotani Kentaro had a hard time letting people into his life, but you somehow managed to worm your way into his heart.

warnings: Swearing, fighting, super cheesy at some parts, angst

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 6.5k

a/n: This ended up being way longer than I intended it to be...oops.

You were in your second year of middle school when you met Kyotani Kentaro. You noticed he didn’t really hang out with anyone, often opting to stick to himself and not bothering to make any friends. You weren’t exactly extremely outgoing seeing as how you only had one or two people you would consider your friends, but you still wanted to befriend the guy who sat alone at lunch and seemed to have a constant scowl on his face. What’s the worst that could happen anyway?

So here you were with your neatly packed bento boxes, having packed an extra one in hopes your befriending attempt was successful. You explained to your two friends why you wouldn’t be sitting with them at lunch and they called you insane, you even invited them to come with confident in your endeavours and they quickly declined the offer. So with a smile on your face and peace offering in hand you made your way outside to where Kyotani usually sat by his lonesome.

As you sat down next to Kyotani he slowly turned his head to look at you, his signature scowl left on his face as he greeted you with a hostile, “What are you doing?” You looked up with a soft smile on your face, wordlessly offering him one of the bento boxes in your hand. His scowl turned to a look of confusion as you set the gift on the ground next to him when he refused to take it, “Are you deaf or something? What are you doing?” He asked with a little more edge to his voice than before.

You unwrapped and opened your lunch as you responded, “You’re on the volleyball team right? I’ve noticed you never eat lunch, you should eat lunch everyday so you have more energy for practice. So I packed you a bento box, I wasn’t sure what you would like so there’s a little bit of everything I usually eat.” You began to eat and his frown deepened as he still refused to pick up the bento box that sat to his left.

You stopped eating as he asked a simple, “Why?” You thought for a moment as you stared at each other. After a minute you shrugged and continued eating, “I want to be your friend.” You said in between bites of food. “Are you going to stare at me the whole hour or are you going to eat?” You asked, setting down your chopsticks and looking at him with raised eyebrows. You continued to stare at him until he silently picked up the bento box and opened it. He examined the food for a bit, looking up at you and back down at the food before he picked up the chopsticks and began eating.

You both ate in silence for the rest of the lunch period occasionally looking at each other like a silent conversation. Even though you hadn’t previously spoken to each other prior to today it was still a comfortable silence. You didn’t feel like you needed to talk to fill the void like you did with your other friends. As the bell rang indicating the end of lunch and beginning of the next period you packed up the empty boxes and stood up. As you went to walk away you heard Kyotani mumble a “thanks” as he walked in the opposite direction and you smiled as you went to your next class.

The next day you walked over to the same place as yesterday but Kyotani wasn’t there. You were a little disappointed but you figured he didn’t want to be bothered. You set down the bento box you once again made for him in hopes he’d come back later and turned around to go back to your usual seat. You didn’t make it far as you turned around and immediately ran into the boy you were searching for. You mumbled an apology that fell on deaf ears as he spoke over you, “What are you doing back?” He questioned as he walked around you to sit down in his usual spot.

“I came to eat with you again, but you weren’t here. I was just going to leave the bento in case you came back.” He was already opening the lunch as you explained and sat down by him. He mumbled something about his class getting out late as he stuffed his mouth full of the tempura your dad helped you cook.

You ate in silence for a few minutes before Kyotani cleared his throat, “So uh, do you like your classes?” He asked awkwardly. You laughed at his attempt to make small talk, coughing as you almost choked on the food you were in the process of chewing. You took a deep breath after calming down and looked up at Kyotani whose ears were slightly pink and looked less than impressed.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh at you Kyotani, it’s just, you don’t have to make small talk if you don’t want to. I’m more than fine eating in silence until you feel comfortable enough to talk without sounding forced.” You gently closed your bento box as you explained your laughing fit. He nodded and went back to eating as you began some homework that was assigned in one of your earlier classes. You looked up as he softly asked what you were working on.

“Something for math, I’m not the best at math but I’m not the worst either. I just figured I’d get a headstart on the assignment so I don’t have to worry about it later.” You continued working on your assignment as you talked, Kyotani nodding as he finished up his food. You didn’t talk much after that, staying quiet as you worked on the problems presented to you on the paper. As the bell rang you packed up your bag and looked over and saw Kyotani with his eyes closed. You gently shook him as you tried to wake him up, “Kyotani, lunch is over we need to go back to class.” He hummed and swatted your hand away, “Yeah yeah, I’m getting up calm down. See ya later Y/n.”

It became routine for you and Kyotani to eat lunch together for the remainder of the school year. By the end of the school year what was once a comfortable silence was now a nonstop conversation. You both grew quite close but your interactions were limited to lunch. You didn’t have classes together and you weren’t sure if he’d be comfortable with you asking to hangout outside of school. So you left your interactions to lunch, which you were fine with. Until the school year was almost over.

It was the last day of school and you were thinking about how you wouldn’t see Kyotani until next year. He could tell you were a little upset and decided to ask what was wrong. “It’s the last day of school, so we won’t see each other until next year.” You were looking down at your food as you responded but you could’ve sworn you heard him let out a small chuckle before flicking you in the forehead. “Ow! What was that for?!” You exclaimed while rubbing the spot he flicked.

“You’re being dramatic for nothing. You have my phone number and I have yours, we can hang out any time either of us want.” He scoffed as he finished his sentence. Maybe you were being a bit dramatic, but you couldn’t help it. It was hard to tell what Kyotani was thinking or what he wanted to do. You weren’t scared of him, you were probably one of the only people who weren’t, but you made so much progress in being his friend and you didn’t want it to end just because you wanted to hang out outside of school and he didn’t.

“Kyotani, are you glad I became your friend?” You asked, scared to know the answer. He thought for a moment before nodding and asking why. “Well the first day I ate lunch with you two of my friends told me I was stupid and you’d never want to be my friend. I’ve been wondering if you’ve just been tolerating me all this time.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at your statement, “Did you believe them?” You shrugged in response because you honestly thought it was a fifty fifty shot when you first approached him. “That’s stupid, I wouldn’t let you sit by me everyday at lunch if I didn’t want you to. The only people I tolerate are people I have to tolerate, like my teammates. Your friends were idiots and so were you if you believed them.” You nodded as the bell rang signaling that your daily dose of Kyotani was over. You said goodbye to each other and went in opposite directions to your classes.

You were leaving the classroom when Kyotani decided to scare you, not intentionally, you just weren’t paying attention when he walked up behind you. “Should put a bell on you, I swear you came out of nowhere. What are you even doing here?” You said with your hand on your chest trying to calm down. He shrugged in response as you two exited the school, “Walking you home so I know where to go when I’m hungry.”

You gasped in mock hurt, “You’ve been using me for my cooking haven’t you! I can’t believe this, I’m honestly heartbroken at the notion. You should just turn away and leave now.” You said trying to push him in the opposite direction of your house. He planted his feet on the ground, effectively stopping you from pushing him any further. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you didn’t want me at your house.” You stopped trying to push him and he turned around to look at you, “Do you not want me over to your house? Weren’t you the one who was all disappointed we wouldn’t be able to hang out anymore”

You opened your mouth to respond and closed it, not quite knowing how to phrase what you wanted to say. You thought for a moment, going back and forth in your head before deciding on a response, “It’s not that I don’t want you over to my house. It’s that my dad is embarrassing and I don’t know what he’ll say to you to be quite honest.”

He raised his eyebrows at your answer, “It can’t be that bad. Come on let’s get going, I’m sure your dad is waiting for you at home. You can come over to my house later and you can meet my embarrassing parents in exchange.”

You sighed and started to lead the way to your house when you realized he wasn’t following you. You turned around and saw him standing there with his hands in his pockets. “Are you coming with or not?” He started walking towards you after you asked. “Don’t blame me when my dad says something stupid though.” You said as he rested an arm on your shoulder as you walked.

“Dad, I'm home! I brought a friend with me!” You yelled into the house as you walked in and took off your shoes. You knew he was home because you saw his car outside. You heard footsteps round the corner from the kitchen as your dad came to greet you with a mixing bowl in hand.

“Hey, how was your last day of school?” He asked as he gave you a side hug. “Who’s this?” He said, eyeing Kyotani, trying to form a first impression of the boy in question as he stood there. You hugged him back as you responded, “It was fine, uninteresting. This is Kyotani Kentaro, is it okay if he stays for dinner tonight?” He agreed but only if Kyotani helped cook.

“ So this is the boy you’ve been cooking everyday for? They talk about you a lot.” Your dad said as you all entered the kitchen. You groaned at his statement, “Dad, can you not say embarrassing things like that? See this is why I didn’t want you over here.” You said turning to Kyotani who was chuckling at the interaction.

He shrugged, walking over to the sink to wash his hands as you finished, “I think it’s endearing that you talk about me to your dad.” You shook your head as you started to cut up vegetables, choosing to ignore the conversation your dad and Kyotani were currently having. You didn’t notice as Kyotani walked up next to you with a mixing bowl in hand, “How’s it going over here?” He asked, startling you.

“Don’t scare people in the kitchen, that’s how accidents happen Kyotani.” You scolded as he laughed at your response. He put his hands up in surrender and went back to mixing the contents in the bowl. Your dad smiled as he watched you guys interact, leaving you both to do your own thing instead of joining the conversation and ruining the dynamic you both had. He eventually told you both to go do something else and he’d come get you when dinner was done.

“Your dad seems cool. Also seems like a good cook.” Kyotani said as you guys entered your room. You nodded as you set your bag down next to your desk before sitting on your bed. “Yeah he’s pretty laid back with everything. It’s just me and him so he tries his best to be the strict parent every now and then. He’s also a professional chef, so I’d hope he was a good cook. You can set your stuff anywhere you want.” He nodded, setting his stuff by the door and sitting on your desk chair.

You talked about your family life a bit more, you found out he had an older sister who he didn’t really talk to and that his parents were separated but he lived with his dad. You explained how it was just you and your dad. Your mom got sick when you were younger and couldn’t understand what was happening or why your mom didn’t come home from the hospital. By the time you were done sharing tragic backstories your dad was calling you both for dinner.

Your dad quizzed Kyotani about his life and interests throughout dinner and you tried your best to interject when you felt things were going to be awkward but sometimes you were just a tad bit too late. Kyotani answered each question honestly and without hesitation, refusing to back down. You sat there the whole time thinking it was a mistake having him stay for dinner and how you should’ve just stuck with your answer of refusing him coming over.

At the end of dinner Kyotani had to go home and you said your goodbyes. Your dad said he was welcome over anytime and you were just glad they didn’t end up fist fighting over some of the questions that were thrown out. You were glad you pursued your attempts at becoming Kyotani’s friend. You could tell you were going to be friends for a while.

Two years later you found yourself and Kyotani watching a movie while you studied in your living room. It had been a month since you both started your first year at Aoba Johsai and you two happened to be in the same class. You got out of volleyball practice a few hours early and came home to study. You joined the volleyball team as their new manager to hopefully spend more time with Kyotani and make sure he wasn’t getting into too much trouble. You finally finished the homework you were working on for the past hour and sighed looking over at your best friend who was laying down on your couch, having finished his work fifteen minutes ago. You went over to where he was and sat on the floor in front of him poking his face until he woke up. “What do you want?” He asked before closing his eyes again.

You sighed, folding your arms on the couch cushion and laying your head on top, “Why’d you almost get in a fight today?” Earlier today you left Kyotani at lunch to go get a drink from the vending machine down around the corner and when you came back he was in a yelling match with some random kid you didn’t know. You stopped him before he could actually start throwing punches and pulled him away. He shrugged at the question saying it wasn’t important. “Seriously Kentaro, I don’t understand why you’re so angry all the time. You’re actually really nice and chill if you just let people get to know you.”

He sighed as he sat up, “Because it’s easier to have everyone hate you than trying to get everyone to like you. Why bother trying to please people when you can just worry about yourself.” You frowned at the response, you sure didn’t hate him. He didn’t really try to make you hate him either. Sure he wasn’t the nicest when you first met but he also didn’t yell at you or anything drastic like that.

“I don’t hate you. I don’t think you hate me either, you didn’t try to get me to hate you from what I can remember either.” You said as you got up from the floor and sat next to Kyotani on the couch.

He yawned as he stretched before turning to you, “You were different. I don’t know how to explain it but you are. I didn’t mind letting you into my small bubble, you know?” You were shocked that he was opening up like this, usually your conversations just consisted of him telling you about everyone that got on his nerves that day and you talking about the new people you met.

Of course whenever you met new people you knew they weren’t going to stick around long. Often they would talk bad about your best friend without knowing that you were friends, so you didn’t stick around them much. Not that you minded, you were perfectly content with your one good friend, not feeling the need to be friends with every single person you met in your life like some people did.

The only problem was that within the past year you began to develop feelings for your best friend. You started to fall in love with the guy who pushed everyone away but you. The guy who never showed any other emotions than annoyed or angry. The guy who you couldn’t quite figure out, and now? Now you were trying to figure out a way to tell him. “Y/n? Are you there? You’ve been spacing out for like three minutes.” He said waving his hand in front of your face.

You turned your head to look at Kyotani who was smirking, trying not to laugh at the fact that you had zoned out. “Were you talking that whole time?” You asked tilting your head slightly to the side.

He raised his eyebrows for a bit before speaking, “Yeah I was just saying how I’m in love with you and how I think you’re the one for me.” You gasped and looked at him with wide eyes about to confess before he started speaking again, “I’m kidding I was asking how you think you’re going to do on the test.”

You closed your mouth and furrowed your eyebrows. “That’s not very nice, you know. You shouldn’t play with other people’s emotions like that, Kyotani.” He was about to speak before you interrupted him this time, “I mean what if I believed that you liked me like that. Of course you don’t it was stupid to think you could, but for you to joke about it? That’s a new level of low.”

You continued to ramble until he eventually cut you off, “Y/n! Would you shut up for one second so I can talk?” You stopped talking and folded your arms, refusing to look at him. “I do like you, that’s just not how I wanted to tell you. I wasn’t sure if you’d like me back so I played it off before you could respond. Sorry if I hurt your feelings, you’re the last person I want to hurt. You’re probably the only person I care about.” You started tearing up at his confession, feeling stupid about the current situation. “Are you crying? Shit I’m sorry.”

You shook your head trying to blink away the tears that were threatening to fall. “No it’s a stupid thing to cry over, sorry. I like you too Kentaro. I just thought you didn’t so it was overwhelming when you said that. Again stupid, sorry.”

He pulled you into a hug that basically ended with you sitting on his lap, “Don’t apologize for your emotions, Y/n. I’m glad you like me back, this means I have a reason to yell at the guys who ask me if you’re single.” You laughed as you hugged him back.

“You know Kentaro, this is the most emotion you’ve ever shown.” He shoved you off of the couch telling you to shut up. You continued your laughing fit before you paused realizing something. “Wait, is that why you almost got into a fight today? Because that guy asked if I was single?” When he didn’t say anything and refused to look you in the eyes you started laughing. “Seriously Kentaro? You were mad because someone asked if I was single? I’m flattered that you felt like you needed to fight the poor boy but holy shit, you probably traumatized him.”

He just shrugged in response as he mumbled, “It was the way he asked, he was all cocky about it. Was hitting on you too saying you had a nice ass.” You opened your mouth in mock hurt, “Are you saying I don’t have a nice ass?” You watched as he stumbled over his words, trying to back track over his previous statement.

You continued the back and forth teasing and laughing for the next hour and a half until your Dad got home. “Hey Dad! How was the restaurant?” You asked leaning over the front of the couch to watch as he walked in. Kyotani hooked an arm over the back of the couch and turned his head to briefly greet your dad.

“It was okay, pretty busy. Is Kyotani staying for dinner? I brought plenty of leftovers from the restaurant.” He said, taking off his coat and walking towards the kitchen. You jumped up from the couch and followed him into the kitchen sitting down at the table as Kyotani followed closely behind. “Yes he is, unless he’s going home right now?” You asked Kyotani who shook his head as he sat next to you. “Well I hope you like nigiri, we had a party of 10 who preordered it and never showed up.” Your Dad explained as he sat down with the to-go containers of food. You high fived your dad, “I love when that happens.”

You spent 10 minutes discussing how school was and any upcoming assignments that were due or tests that were coming up. You were about to talk about the upcoming practice match that Aoba Johsai had against Nekoma when Kyotani spoke up, “I’d like to date Y/n, if you’d let me.” You whipped your head towards your Kyotani who was having a stare down with your Dad.

You looked at your dad who looked at you and then Kyotani confused, “You mean you haven’t been dating this whole time?” He asked innocently. “I seriously just assumed you were dating this entire time, I’m sorry.” He continued when no one said anything.

A week later a Kyotani was taking you on your first date. You weren’t doing much, he just took you to get some ice cream and now you were sitting on a swing set just talking about nothing as you stared at the sky. It may not have been much but you wouldn’t have traded it for the world, in your eyes this was the perfect first date.

At the end of the date he was walking you home and he mentioned that he was nervous that the date wouldn’t be enough and you’d hate it. After all, you didn’t really have jobs so it was all he could afford at the time. You told him it was perfect as he dropped you off at your house. You were about to kiss him when your dad opened the door, “Oh did I interrupt, my apologies. I thought you forgot your house key and that’s why you were standing here. I’ll just uh, let you continue.” He slowly backed away and closed that door.

“Oh my god that was so embarrassing. I’m so sorry.” You said while running your hands down your face in both frustration and embarrassment. Kyotani chuckled as he removed your hands from your face and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. “It’s fine. Goodnight Y/n.” He said and walked away. You yelled a goodbye and walked inside to see your dad smirking at you. You felt your face heat up and quickly walked to your room wanting to avoid an awkward conversation.

A month later you were walking out of your classroom when one of the second years from the volleyball team stopped you and made you follow them. When you rounded the corner you saw Kyotani pinning some poor boy against the lockers all but screaming in his face. Your eyes widened as you scurried over to where they were, pulling Kyotani away from the traumatized boy. “Kentaro you gotta stop getting in fights before you get suspended or expelled.” You said softly as you intertwined your fingers with his and walked out of the school.

“I don’t care, you didn’t hear what he was saying about us.” He huffed and turned his head away from you. You asked what he said and felt his grip on your hand tighten. “He said you’d get tired of me and my attitude and leave, and when you did you had plenty of people waiting to sweep you off of your feet. I think what made me so mad is that he’s right. When you get tired of me you have all these people waiting to take you away from me.”

“Kyotani Kentaro, you stop it right now.” You said coming to a full stop making him face you. “I will never get tired of you, okay? If other people wanna talk about us then let them. They don’t know you like I do. I know you’ll never treat me like shit because you never have and you never will. I have full trust in you and I hope you trust me too. Understand?” You cupped his face as he nodded, “Good.” You said as you quickly pecked his lips and kept walking home.

It’s been nearly a year since you started dating Kyontani and you were panicking because you weren’t sure if you were doing anything for your one year anniversary. Sure you wanted to celebrate but you didn’t know if Kyotani wanted to do anything. You weren’t sure if he was going to get you anything and you weren’t sure if he was going to be mad or happy at the fact that you were getting him a gift. It’s all been so nerve wracking.

The past month or so you felt bad because you’d been picking up extra shifts at your dad’s restaurant to get more money to help pay for his gift, which meant that you were unintentionally avoiding Kyotani. He’d been questioning why you were taking extra shifts suddenly and you always just said that you just wanted to help your dad because he was short staffed.

You weren’t even sure what you were going to get him, you had an idea but you weren’t sure if you wanted to follow through with it or go with something different. You had a week before your one year was coming up and you decided to just follow through with it. You were on the phone with the people who would be preparing your gift when Kyotani rounded the corner and waved at you. In a state of panic that he would find out you turned around and quickly walked in the opposite direction.

You finished up your call and went to find Kyotani, kinda feeling bad that you just avoided him like that. You walked over to your guys’ usual spot, sulking, not that he would ever admit it. “Hey sorry about that, it was an important call.” You said sitting down next to your boyfriend, who moved his hand away when you tried to hold it.

“Who was it?” He grumbled still refusing to look at you. “It was just my dad, he was letting me know that he probably wouldn’t be home for dinner tonight.” What you said wasn’t necessarily a lie, your dad did text you earlier to let you know that he had to cater a party tonight so he wouldn’t be home until later. You were a terrible liar and you figured it’d be easier to lie if it was only a half lie.

Two days later and the company called you back confirming your order and what you wanted. They called while you were hanging out with Kyotani at your house, you quickly excused yourself and went outside to the back to take the call. Kyotani looked at your dad who just shrugged in response. When you came back Kyotani asked who called, you said no one important and he left it at that.

It was two days before your anniversary and you were telling Kyotani that you had to pick something up after school. “I can come with you, I don’t mind.” He offered. Sometimes you really hated that he was sweet and considerate sometimes.

“You can’t come with, sorry ‘Taro.” You watched as he sighed and looked annoyed before asking why not. “You just can't, okay, I can’t explain it right now but you can’t come with.” You couldn’t find an excuse as to why he couldn’t come with you so you just tried to deny him gently. You could tell he was getting frustrated and upset with you and you were glad that you’d be able to give him his gift soon so you could stop being secretive. You knew you could’ve just told him now but you really wanted it to be a surprise.

“You’ve been so secretive lately and it’s getting really fucking annoying and frustrating.” He said as he shook his head. “I know and I’m really sorry, but can you just trust me?” You asked and he sighed deeply before agreeing. You gave him a peck on the cheek before telling him thank you and that you’d text him later when you were home.

It was the day before you’d give Kyotani his gift and you texted him saying that you were going to school early and that you’d just meet him there when you both usually got there. You knew the third years on the team practiced in the gym before school started and you wanted to get their opinions on the gift. You were talking about it with them before you decided on it so you wanted their final approval. Sure they weren’t friends with Kyotani but they spent the most time with him other than yourself of course. Besides who better to get advice on a custom volleyball than some volleyball players themselves?

You were in the middle of talking about the price, because Oikawa was considering getting one, when the door to the gym opened with a slam. You spun around quickly hiding the volleyball behind your back when you saw it was Kyotani. You were about to greet him when he started talking and angrily marching towards where you guys stood.

“I fuckin knew you were doing some shit behind my back.” He nearly screamed at you. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as you tried to talk but was immediately cut off before you could even start. “I mean how long did you think this whole secretive “trust me” bullshit would last? Someone told me you were cheating on me with one of the third years and I didn’t believe them because you were always spouting off with that “Do you trust me?” shit. I should’ve known better than to trust you, or anyone for that matter.”

You looked down at your feet as your eyes started to water, not wanting Kyotani to see you cry. Iwaizumi tried talking to him but was quickly yelled at, accused of being the one you were cheating on him with. Iwaizumi and Kyotani were in the middle of a yelling match when you interrupted them, shoving the ball into Kyotani’s chest who caught it before it fell to the ground.

“I was trying to get you a gift you asshole!” You screamed back at him. He examined the gift before looking back at you and opening his mouth before closing it again, trying to find something to say. “Save it you dick, I don’t wanna hear it. It’s easier to have people hate you than to try and get everyone to like you right? Mission accomplished, everyone officially hates you now.” You said with tears streaming down your face. You exited the gym before he could say anything and went home for the day. You texted your dad and asked if he would call the school and let them know you were sick, he agreed and asked what was wrong but you just said you’d explain when you got home.

Kyotani was staring at your gift after you left with furrowed eyebrows, and it was like it was staring back, mocking him. He looked up when Oikawa started to speak, “You know Y/n-chan worked very hard to get that for you.” He said with his arms crossed. “Yeah they worked hard at their dad’s restaurant to be able to get the money to buy that. It wasn’t cheap, they said it was about 14 thousand yen?” Matsukawa asked Hanamaki who nodded. “Yeah and they asked us for advice on what kind of volleyballs we use and what brand we think are the best. They really put a lot of thought into this gift.” Hanamaki continued to lecture Kyotani before Iwaizumi spoke up about the situation.

“Seriously you fucked up. They told you to trust them and you said you did. Then the first person that comes along and says “oh hey y/n’s cheating on you” you choose to believe that person instead of your partner who’s been by your side since what? Second year of middle school? You’re an idiot and you need to fix this because they may have said they hate you but I know that’s not true. So go fix it before they actually hate you.” When Iwaizumi was done scolding Kyotani he took off running to your house, not caring if he missed school.

He got to your house and knocked on the door, he was surprised when your dad answered the door and immediately closed it. He knocked again hoping your dad would open the door for him and he does, only to tell him to go away and close the door again. He desperately knocked again and when your dad opened the door this time he just sighed and said “What do you want?”

“Can I please talk to Y/n? I really messed up and I realize that now, it’s just everyone’s constantly telling me they’re going to leave me one day and I got scared that it was happening. I just want to make this right.” Kyotani practically begged and your dad just stared at him before saying “no” and closing the door again.

You looked at your dad from the couch after he closed the door and he sighed as he turned to you, “He sounds like he’s sorry and he means it, but I’d make him sweat it out before you talk to him. It’s up to you though kid.” With that he walked away to the kitchen to make you guys lunch. You thought about it for a second before deciding you’d do what your dad said and let him “sweat it out” as he said.

You and your dad spent the day watching movies and baking treats to take your mind off of things. It was after supper and you were helping your dad with the dishes when you glanced out of the window and saw Kyotani still sitting outside your door. You gasped which caused your dad to look outside as well. When your dad saw what you gasped at he chuckled at the sight, “Well he’s dedicated that’s for sure. I say go talk to him, I can handle the dishes by myself.”

You sighed as you mentally prepared yourself to talk to Kyotani and walked outside. He looked surprised as you sat down next to him but didn’t say anything. “I’m sorry.” He said after a minute passed. You scoffed in response, folding your arms over your knees and resting your head on your arms, facing away from him. “I was an idiot, I know. I feel really really bad, believe me I do. Everyone’s telling me that you’re too good for me and you’re going to leave me-”

“I know.” You said cutting him off, “I heard you tell it to my dad. I just wanna know why you didn’t trust me enough to not believe them. I don’t care about what other people think, Kyotani.” He winced as you called him by his last name rather than his given name. “I really care about you Kyotani, but you really hurt my feelings. I tell you constantly that I’m not just going to up and leave you because I know you’re different from what everyone else sees. Then you went and treated me like I was everyone else. You pushed me away.”

“I won’t do it again Y/n, I promise.” He pleaded. “Yeah but I don’t know that Kentaro.” You already made up your mind to give him one last chance, you just wanted to hear what he had to say. “But I do, I swear I won’t. Please, I don’t want to lose you. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me and I really don’t want to lose you.”

“Fine, I’ll give you one last chance. If something like this happens again I’m not giving you a third chance. You have to fully trust me and communicate with me. Don’t just assume because the first person you saw told you something that’s not true. Okay?” You finally turned your head to look at Kyotani and it looked like he was about to cry.

He nodded in agreement, “I promise I’ll trust you and talk to you if I have any doubts, which I won’t.” You gave him a soft smile and pulled him into a hug. “I love you Y/n.” He said as he nuzzled his head into your neck. “I love you too ‘Taro.”

[rcksmith]

I want to do bad things with you — Five Hargreeves

Request: “6 from fluff and 4 and 8 from smut list for five hargreeves?”

Fluff Prompts:

6. “I’m going to marry you one day.”

Smut Prompts;

4. “Are you sure that’s what you want? I could really hurt you.”

8. “I don’t care how good it feels you’d better not cum until I tell you to.”

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here !!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

I hope it got close to what you wanted. ❤️ This is a heavy smut, I was in a bad mood, sorry jsnsjsnsjsn.

Guys, I really understand who doesn't feel comfortable reading or writing Five's smut. But I always say that I only write with him (any genre: romance, fluff or angst) with the notion that Five is 20 years old here. All of my fanfics mention swearing or sex, even if it is a memory or something shallow, but as I am writing with Five as an adult, it is consistent that the fic has aspects of an adult life.//

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves / Fem! Reader.

Warnings: SMUT, SMUT, bad words and bad smuut.

— — — — —

Five Hargreeves were many adjectives. Genius, superhero, handsome, dangerous, sinic, arrogant, born leader, among other things. His energy was intense and mysterious, and looking him for too long was like facing the stormy sea: dangerous and risky, but extremely fascinating.

He carried many adjectives on his back, is truth, and domineering was one of them. His life was a constant line of stress, problems and exasperation, Five felt irritated most of the time, so relieving all that stress in sex was... it was fucking good.

Normally, his emotions were always on a tight leash, under iron control. Five was composed, controlled, taking everything rationally. Even in sex, when he vented all his anger, he was conscious. Until you show up.

You were a little, sweet, lyrical little thing and... fuck, you had an angel face that made Five clench his jaw as soon as he laid eyes on you. And then controlling yourself became a much more difficult task. You had a cunning, catlike look, but an face so pure that it hooked Five into the his soul.

He couldn't get involved with you, he repeated that every fucking day. Five could barely look in your direction without wanting to hold your angel face and kiss you with the fury of hell. Five wanted to fold you in front of him, slap your ass until you blush and hear you whimpering his name. He wanted to do all the dark things in his mind to break your doll energy.

Five Hargreeves was many things, but the irony of all was how they swayed when he fell in love with you. It was inevitable. Over the months, while trying to control his thoughts, he found himself admiring your intelligence and sense of humor. He started to notice how you loved sweet tea and had headaches when you had coffee, which is why he started to leave a migraine medicine in the kitchen if you needed to.

With the days, Five now hid his smile when you laughed at something stupid and admired how the world seemed sweeter when you were happy.

And that's when he kissed you. And his whole view changed. When he held your face between his hands and tasted your lips, Five felt like he was touching Egyptian crystal, and then the urge to protect you was born. He didn't want anything or anyone to hurt you, anyway. Five touched you so delicately and made sure that nothing bothered you.

So that's when you two slept together. Fuck, it was so fucking hard for him. Extraordinarily difficult because Five wanted to make you scream and fuck you so hard. It was difficult as hell because he wanted to hit your ass and thigh so hard that he could see the marks tomorrow. And... son of a bitch, even though you moaned and squirmed, you looked like a fucking angel. And the desire to desecrate something so pure became even bigger.

And that was why he avoided touching you during those hours. He kept his hands on the mattress, on the headboard, on the walls or on the pillows, avoided touching you as much as possible. Because Five knew... it was already too hard not to fuck you rough, hard and intense, if he touched you... it would be the end. He didn't even want to kiss you too much, or suck on your skin, because one thing would lead to another and... God, you fucked his mind!

It was after a few months that he realized he loved you. And your relationship will become even more serious.

"I love you so much.” You whispered on his lips one day, with the cold and rain falling outside, and you curled in him up like a pet.

Five nodded, him lips on you forehead, brushing them there as appreciated what that phrase did to him. You two had already said that a few months ago, but you loved to keep repeating it and Five appreciated how right the universe felt when you said that.

“I'm going to marry you one day.” He sighed through your hair, lowering lips to yours before receiving your ecstatic and passionate screams.

But the more love grew in you two, the more hunger, lust and sin grew within Five too. Was like a wild beast, hitting the bars of the cage, almost breaking what kept under control. And controlle herself started to be physically painful. So he tried to put out that blazing fire.

Seeing you naked has become excruciating torture. Five fidgeted uneasily whenever you changed in front of him, took off the towel after a shower. But the worst was when you two had sex. Fucking you, feeling you pulsing, squirming, totally submissive to his whims, made Five have to acquire phenomenal self-control. Although Five exhibited a cold, arrogant and confident personality, everything inside him became a boiling volcano when you appeared.

“Baby…” That was when Five heard you purring, you had just come out of the shower, a short white towel covering your body.

When Five looked at you, and saw you walking towards him, he pulse reached alarming levels. Normally, Five always managed to keep his impulses under control, even though it was an overwhelming endeavor. But not today.

Oh, he was far from being in control. Your doe eyes looked at him docilely and Five felt again the overwhelming appetite to take you so badly.

God, he needed to break you…

You didn't make it easy for Five either. Oblivious to the internal battle within him, you sat on his lap, supporting your legs on either side of his hips, with the towel rising to the top of your thighs and your bare skin sitting on his already pulsating member.

Five snarled softly, hands tightly squeezing the bed sheet, your body pulsing beneath his. He felt hot as if were in the Sahara desert.

“You are so tense.” Your voice was velvety, soft, and you brought your lips to his neck. And that was too much.

“Y/N..” Was a warning.

“Something wrong?” You pulled your face back enough to look at him.

Five shook his head, hands still clutching the sheets. You followed that gesture with your eyes, and started connecting the pieces second by second.

It was no longer today that your felt him controlling himself. Moments he didn't want to touch you at all while he fucked you, like you were a hot iron. Days when he forced a little more force into the way he kissed you and then completely backed down.

“I've been noticing a few things lately...” You commented, the left index finger playing with his uniform “I noticed that you have ... controlled yourself, as if you were holding something.”

And then you looked into his eyes, and what you saw in the green sockets was a lust so fervent that you felt yourself losing breath.

“Y/N...” the voice was still hoarse, a ring signaling his warning as well “I ... I won't be able to talk about this with you.”

“Why not?” You didn't know exactly what the problem was, how deep it went, but you knew something was going on. “I did something? Or are you more stressed? ”

“You did not do anything.” He assured you, and as he saw in your eyes that you would not let the matter pass, because you were determined as hell, Five sighed deeply. “It with me. It has nothing to do with you, I just... I like to do more... rough things. "

You were watching him closely, the direction of the conversation was pleasing to you... It wasn't today that you knew your own tastes, and something brutalized and stronger was exactly what you liked. But Five was always so controlled, so reserved, that you were still looking for an opening to bring it up.

Five must have noticed that your eyes took on a different glow, and he looked at you as if he suspected.

“Why that look?” His little corner smile made you smile too.

“ I didn't know you liked things like that.” Five raised an eyebrow at you, the little smile still on his face. “Is that why you have been controlling yourself?”

Five had to take a deep breath, hands going to your waist under the towel, in a soft, controlled touch. But his hands were stiff, you felt it.

“I do not want to hurt you.” He was succinct “I have more aggressive, brutal desires, and I don't want to take it out on you.”

Oh, you were really enjoying the conversation.

You let out a low chuckle, playing with your index finger on the lapel of his uniform.

“Like ... hit me and stuff?” Then you felt his grip tighten on your waist, his jaw tighten.

Five looked at you with a clear warning that you were walking in rough waters. That it was better for you to stop here. He could barely cope with his own thoughts about it, let alone hear you say those things with that fucking angelic voice of yours.

"What if I wanted to?” Now your eyes were bright with amusement and anticipation.

“You can't tell me these things” His grip got stronger, his eyes more fierce, the energy more irritable “Even more naked in my lap.”

Five might be covered in clothes, but he could feel your hot pussy under him, the soft skin of your thighs around his waist, your breasts a touch away... Damn, it was too much for him!

“I mean it.” You ran your fingers through his hair, resting your hands behind the back of his neck. “I like something hard too, if you are willing to try this on me, I would like us to do it. You are always so focused... I would love to see you more out of control. ”

Five kept his eyes on you, as if he were looking for some hesitation in you. But he found none. Just shared desire.

God help him.

“Are you sure that’s what you want? I could really hurt you.” He wanted to warn you, he wanted you to know it was a path of no return. Five could destroy you and him wanted you to know that.

“Yes.” You agreed “I want it so much.”

Suddenly, something in the air seemed to change. Everything became rarer, more caustic and crackling. Five's intensity had reached extremely high levels and he looked at you as if you were the prey on a night hunt. Five pulled harder on your towel, freeing your naked body. He gasped, his eyes fixed on you.

“Say red when you want me to stop.”

You were going to say something, but he didn't give you a chance. His hungry lips stuck to yours. It was a controlling kiss, drowning out you surprised moan. Five stood with you on his lap and threw you on your back on the mattress. You gasped, your naked body exposed on his bed, given over to all the profane fantasies he had in mind. Seeing you there, submissive, destroyed all the control he had.

Oh he was going to destroy you.

Five remained standing, pulled your legs over the edge of the bed and opened them aggressively. You let out a heavy breath, the core pulsing. God, seeing that made him rock hard.

Five leaned over your body, pressing his lips in you before moving to your breasts, sucking on aching nipple, squeezing the other in a heavy touch. His hands left you for a second before him straightened up and removed he blazer and sweater from the academy, his nimble hands pulled the tie knot fiercely, tearing the piece of silk from his neck.

“Be quiet for me, dear.” Five put your hands together, tying your fists with the tie and tying the tie to the headboard.

You bit your lip, your body fidgeting for him, the core throbbing. Five had barely touched you and you were already pulsing for him.

“You are so needy.”

Without warning, he was leaning over you, him lips on yours, his hands roaming your body in a rough touch, his mouth pinching your lips. And everything started to get heavy after that point. Five closed his mouth on your neck, leaving a trail of purple hickeys as he brought two fingers to your mouth.

You took them in, sucking without waiting for an order. But his fingers on your mouth seemed to have an even more exciting effect for you. You legs closed, wanting to seek any friction, but Five slapped your left thigh roughly, brutally separating them with his free hand.

“Did I tell you to close your legs?!” You whimpered, and he gave you another slap “Answer!”

“N-no...” You did your best to speak with his fingers in your mouth.

“No what?!” Another slap. Now you could feel the flesh throbbing. You pulled on your fists, trying to control yourself not to close your thighs again.

“N-didn't”

Now his free hand went to your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“It's ‘No, Daddy’!”

“No, Daddy!”

“Good Girl.”

Five withdrew his hand from your mouth, bringing it down and melting it into your pussy. You moaned louder, forcing the tie, shifting your hips. He didn't give you time to breathe before he buried his fingers in you, hitting your walls.

You screeched muffled by his lips on your, as his hand pushed against you frantically, slamming inside you at a brutal pace.

“F-fi...”

Another slap. Stronger, more aggressive.

“What did fucking you say?!”

“Daddy! I mean Daddy! I’m so sorry.”

He accelerated his hand even more, and you started frantically pulling on the tie, trying to get rid of or gain more of that ardor. You were starting to feel close to orgasms when Five pulled away, slapping your bare breast as he rose again. You whimpered in protest, your hips still making some movements in search of some ghost friction.

“Look at you, so desperate and I haven't even fucked you yet.” Five began to unbutton his white shirt, stripping off his clothes and leaving the belt beside you.

You excitement went to extremely high levels when you saw his cock jump out. Pulsating, molasses with pre-cum and dashed with thick veins. Your core throbbed, dripping your liquid while you whimpered.

Five smirked when he noticed where your attention was, and he leaned you, but now bringing the belt with him and placing it around your neck.

God, he was going to fuck you so hard.

Five gave a tug, testing the accuracy, and when you groaned needy, Five appeased his own excitement by sinking his bruised lips into yours.

He stood up again, pulling your legs closer to the edge as he brushed your pussy with the throbbing head of the stick, watching you squirm. It was torture for him too, but the sight of you struggling for contact was a fucking reward.

“Please d-Daddy!” You whimpered, rummaging in despair, wanting more of anything he give you.

“Please, what? ‘Please, daddy, fuck me hard’ or ‘please, daddy, use me’ ?”

You were begging, with tears in the corners of your eyes as he played with you, by sinking the head of the stick inside you. It was driving you crazy. Five held the base of him penis while he sank just another inch into you, then pulled and rubbed your clitoris.

“Fuck me h-hard, Daddy!”

Suddenly, Five entered you brutally to the bottom, leaving you speechless in a loud and silent groan. He pulled you by the belt, not giving you time to get used to the size, he established strong and aggressive blows.

“Do you want hard?! I will give you hard!”

Then Five untied the tie from the headboard, turned you brutally on you stomach and pulled your hips up. He pulled his hand back and unloaded it on your ass, and you screamed, staggering forward. Five pulled you by the hips, dissatisfied with your distance.

“Be good girl for me, dear." It was an order.

You obeyed, crying out loudly when Five pushed the stick inside you aggressively, pulling on your neck with the belt. He held you by the belt and the waist while he fucked you. Hard, fast, without any abandonment.

His hand hit the flesh of your ass from second to second, and you can't help but moan for it. He gave no respite, the sound of his bodies colliding flooded the room, perhaps the entire mansion.

Five has never felt so hardcore in life, so hungry, so lust. He wanted to break you, hurt you, squeeze your flesh so hard that you would be left with marks for months. He groaned, trying to concentrate on mistreating the walls of your pussy, pounding with brutality, harder and cruel.

“D-d-daddy!”

Tears streamed into your eyes as you dug your nails into the pillow hard, unable to contain the moans and the tremor in your thighs. Your belly vibrated, hummed with hyperstimulation, that was paradise and sin at the same time and you felt that you could fall apart at any moment.

Five pulled the belt tight, bringing you up and sticking your back to his chest. He put his free arm around your waist, bringing the thrusts in slow, hard rhythms, making you feel every inch of him.

You hands went to him arm around your waist, the new position reaching the most sensitive places, making your pussy throb. You bit your lip to try to control your moans, because you were afraid they would be too loud.

“Without trapping those sounds for me!” This time the slap came down on your left breast, followed by a deeper thrust, and you begged for excuses while looking for air “Let everyone hear who's making you feel so good! Who does this slutt belong.”

That pushed you further into the abyss. Five sucked on the skin on your neck, pouring out a strong hickey while you could only scream and whimper for him, unable to do anything else. . He entered you deeply, taking whatever inch you had and forcing you to take it deeper.

Five did not allow you to move an inch away, your hips clinging to his, held by his arm, him fucking you hard without you can moving your hips. He could feel you blinking on his dick, making your honey drip down your thighs. His hunger had given no respite, and when he looked at you, and he saw your angel face in an expression of pleasure, pain and dirty with tears, it further fueled Five's hunger.

"That, little slutt!"

You were close, pulsing on his dick, sweat running down your body, your broken moans. Five loved how you were a mess for him, your whole body scarred because of him. He never fell your owner as much as he does now. You begged for something you didn't know what it was, but Five did. And he would give it to you. But he felt your pussy squeeze him, swallowing him in a broken way.

“You can't come until I let you!”

“Da-daddy!” You moaned louder “Please! Please! I need... I need it! ”

“I don’t care how good it feels, you’d better not cum until I tell you to!”

Five came out of you, turning you brutally on the bed once again, removing the belt from your neck. He climbed on top of you, now sticking your body to his, placing his mouth on yours in a gasping kiss. The skin-to-skin sensation was maddening, you were both hot, sweating, and Five squeezed your thigh tightly before slapping it down again. Your wrists were still tied, and you could only press them against his broad chest.

Your thighs were shaking and Five was delighted by this, he traced hickeys all over your breasts, and sank into you again when he sucked on your left sore beak.

Five held you while he fucked you in that position. Strong, cruel and hard. His hands were glued to your flesh, marking your skin with purple from his digits, holding his own moans. And you watched him with your mouth open by the screams and the sight. He was beautiful like that. Wild, his skin all sweaty, his teeth closed on his lip to keep from groaning, his black hair stuck to his forehead.

It was too much torture, too much stimulation, and you were already letting the tears flow while you were begging for something.

“Come to me, my good girl.”

Five didn't have to say it twice. You came intensely, your pussy sucking all of his cock and receiving the hot, thick liquid of his as a reward. You threw your head back in abandonment, feeling him it sink into you deeper, making sure you got all his sperm.

“Such a good girl for me.” Five whispered as he gave you a reward kiss you.

[mypoisonedvine]

Love, Theoretically | Sebastian Stan x reader (chapter 10 - FINALE)

series masterlist

series summary: having lost your husband, sister, and best friend all to the same extramarital affair, you ran away to a secluded villa in the Hungarian countryside to write and get a little time away from the life you’d left behind.  you were only looking for peace and perhaps some inspiration for your novel, but instead you found an unlikely connection with the immigrant repairman– even though the two of you don’t speak the same language.

word count: 6k

warnings: implied smut, angst, fluff, romcom tropes, lots of swearing, pregnancy mention/minor breeding kink

note: click the asterisk for a hyperlink to a translation when the time comes

Six months later...

“It’s good!” she beamed, setting down the last chunk of pages and taking off her reading glasses. “Oh man, that ending hurt, but it’s really, really good!”

You leaned back into the plush chair and sighed with relief. “You think so?”

“It’s best-seller material,” she assured. “With some editing, of course. God, I can’t believe you were sitting on this for so long.”

“What are the biggest changes you want to make?” you asked.

“Well, I’m thinking we’ll cut the romantic subplot,” she mentioned in passing, like it was no big deal. “It’s distracting.

“Distracing?” you repeated. “Nia, it’s the story. It’s a romance.”

“I thought it was a thriller,” she frowned.

“A romance disguised as a thriller,” you corrected.

“Listen, I get what you mean, but I didn’t get this—” she tapped the nameplate on her desk: ‘NIA BROWN, HEAD PUBLISHER’ in shiny letters— “for nothing. I know what I’m talking about, and I know what your readers want. Violence, gore, drama!”

“It has all that!” you defended. “But it’s all there to talk about the real love he finds in her!”

“What do you mean ‘real love’?” she pressed flatly.

“I mean…” you pondered. “I mean love where you feel like a version of yourself that you actually like. Love where you feel unjudged, no precedents or caveats or back-up plans. Love that fucking hurts because you never wanted to rely on anything or anybody. Love that lives in silence because you don’t even need words.”

She furrowed her brow. “That… sounds nice, I guess, but I don’t think anybody really has that. Everybody needs a back-up plan. Everybody needs words— a writer should know that.”

“Oh my god. Oh my god,” you groaned, your face falling into your hands. “I’m so fucking stupid. Jesus Christ, I’m a moron.”

“What? What’s going on?”

“I had that! I had that, and I let it go! I’m the dumbest bitch on the fucking face of the Earth.”

“Don’t say that,” she soothed, but you were already standing up.

“No, I need to find him,” you decided as you grabbed your coat and briefcase. “I need to go back and try to fix this. I love him, I’ve never— I didn’t know I could love like that, I didn’t know I could be loved like that… oh my god, I need to find him. It isn’t over.”

“It isn’t over?” she repeated incredulously. “You said Michael signed the papers!”

“It’s not Michael,” you rolled your eyes as you stormed out of the office. “It was never Michael.”

You ran into the first telephone box you could find, slamming the door shut as you searched your purse for the business card that probably wasn't even in there.

After a moment, you gasped with delight when you pulled it from a very bottom pocket and began punching in the number as fast as possible with shivering hands, long-distance charges be damned.

“Hello?” the confused voice on the other end answered.

“Mrs. Alberti, hi— does Sebastian still work for you?” you asked hastily.

“No, dear," she sighed, apparently recognizing you by just your voice (and likely your request), "he quit recently, and moved away.”

“Moved?" you repeated with a wrinkled brow. "Where?!”

“I assume back home, sweetheart; to Bucharest.”

“Shit,” you sighed. “Shit!”

“Are you having your ‘run through the airport’ moment, sweetheart?” she realized.

“Yes, I think so— do you have his address?”

“Well, no, but I’ll see what I can find.”

You waited rather impatiently as she shuffled through papers in the background, mumbling to herself as she apparently searched for information that could help you.

“All I’ve got is the address of a previous employer… a carpenter,” she finally explained, breaking the silence. “It was his only reference when he came to work here," she explained.

"Wow, you really did just hire him for his looks," you blurted out.

"He was desperate for work, that boy had nowhere else to go,” she defended.

“Right, well, I guess if that’s my only lead then I’ve gotta go for it,” you decided. “Thank you, Mrs. Alberti.”

“I told you to call me when that book was a hit. Did it happen yet?” she piped up.

“It’s not published yet,” you explained. “It needs some more work… but I think it’s almost ready.”

“I think so, too, dear.”

Learn Romanian in 10 Weeks! A practical language guide.

Week 1, Day 1: Greetings

Hello                      Salut

Goodbye                La revedere

Thank you              Mulțumesc

You’re welcome      Cu plăcere

Good morning         Bună dimineata

Good afternoon       Bună ziua

Good evening          Bună seara

Good night               Noapte bună

You brushed your hair back out of your face with a sigh, turning the page as you mumbled the phrases to yourself. Broken Hungarian and your high school education in Latin were not getting you as far with this as you had been hoping.

How are you?          Ce mai faci

I love you                 Te iubesc

“Te iubesc, te iubesc, te iubesc,” you repeated over and over in a whisper.

Each day you had a new routine: practice Romanian for an hour, check flight prices online (or call the airline), research what you knew about Sebastian and the address Mrs. Alberti had given you, and then get back to practicing Romanian again.

Oh, and occasionally you worked on the edits Nia wanted for your manuscript. You were focusing on the minor changes— grammar errors, rearranging sentences— and putting off her big request for the removal and replacement of the romantic aspects. More than ever, they seemed like the most important thing the book had to offer.

You had a small apartment, just a place to sleep and shower really; much too small to fit everything you’d already taken from Michael’s house (you know, the one that used to be your house) along with what he’d shipped to you that you forgot before. He included a letter in the package as well. You threw it out, unopened.

Truthfully, you never really fully unpacked. As much as you realized you probably should, in order to really feel like you had a real home, you couldn’t bring yourself to empty your suitcases when you knew you’d be packing them again any day now.

You also realized how outrageous this all was. Ignoring the unlikelihood of even finding him in the first place, Sebastian probably wouldn’t want anything to do with you after you broke his heart, left, and then randomly tracked him down after over half a year. But to be totally transparent, you weren’t really doing this to get him back, necessarily. You knew that was probably never going to happen. You were doing this because you needed to try. You needed to go there, and get hurt, and come back knowing you did everything you could: you’d never be able to live with yourself if you did anything less than that.

You couldn’t start your new life until you had put everything else to bed. And if that meant being 100%, painfully certain that you and Sebastian could never be together, then that was just how it needed to be.

After two weeks of looking, there still weren’t any reasonable flights to Bucharest, so you booked another trip by train, figuring you could use the three day trip to brush up on the key Romanian phrases you were going to need as well as prepare your speech.

Yes, your plan was a speech. You didn’t have a back-up plan. You didn’t even have a return ticket back to London yet.

A passage by Yeats came to mind; But I, being poor, have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.

In all your life, you’d never understood before why someone would want to only have their dreams. But now, here you were… and yes, it felt terrifying and vulnerable and uncomfortably naked, but it felt pretty damn good, too.

With a sigh, you scribbled out the last sentence you’d written, tossing the trash paper aside. You looked up out the window at the scenery flying by in a blur, worried that if you didn’t look out from the train every once in a while you’d get motion sickness.

The sun was beginning to set already, the green of hills and trees tinted orange. You only indulged in it for a moment, though, before getting back to this god-forsaken speech you were deadset on finishing before you arrived in Bucharest tomorrow. At first, you’d figured the translating would be the most difficult part… but writing in English wasn’t exactly a piece of cake, either. You had so much to say, and suddenly so few words for any of it.

You’d probably done more editing on this than any of your novels combined; the crumpled up pages spilling out of your wastebasket were proof enough of that.

“And I’m a fucking writer!” you groaned aloud, to no one in particular. “How is anybody else supposed to be able to do this, if I can’t?”

Other people aren’t as emotionally constipated as you, the voice of your inner critic reminded you plainly, making you roll your eyes at yourself.

A rap at your door made you sit up straighter and turn around. A stewardess slid open the frosted glass slightly to give you a friendly smile. “Is everything alright, ma’am?”

Your brows furrowed at the sound of her accent. “Is that a Romanian accent?” you asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” she nodded.

“So you’re fluent in Romanian and English,” you concluded.

“And Portuguese, yes ma’am,” she agreed.

“Could you come in here for a moment and help me translate something?”

She seemed slightly confused at the request but stepped forward, sliding the door most of the way shut behind her. Leaning beside you on the desk, she picked up your handwritten letter and blinked her wide, brown eyes a few times. You felt slightly embarrassed knowing she was reading such intimate thoughts, but that was how it felt the first time someone read anything you wrote so you were pretty much used to it by now.

“I usually ask the passengers what brings them to Bucharest,” she mumbled after a moment. “This is the most interesting thing so far. Am I reading this correctly, that you intend to confess your love to someone you met—” she scanned the page quickly— “during a vacation in Hungary?”

“Yup,” you smiled awkwardly, popping the ‘p’ at the end of the word.

“And he doesn’t speak English?” she assumed; you nodded. “And… you don’t speak Romanian?”

You nodded again, and she breathed in and out quickly, sitting beside you as she stared at the letter.

“I’ve never seen anything like this before,” she explained.

“Sorry for sucking you into the entropic vortex that is my life,” you chuckled.

“I don’t mean to pry,” she sighed, setting the letter down, and you laughed a little internally at the idea that she was worried about prying when she just read the most personal piece of writing you’d ever put to the page, “but do you think this is… enough? I mean, to build a relationship on?”

You just gave her a shrug. “I have no idea. But, you know, I spent my whole life worrying about stuff like that. I dated my husband for seven years before we got married, because I wanted to be sure. I was initially interested in him because he was successful and ambitious, and it made me feel like this was a really secure relationship that I could rely on. I double majored in English and Computer Science because I wanted a more stable career to fall back on in case being a writer didn’t work out, and even though it did, I’ve spent most of my career publishing what I thought people wanted to read instead of what I wanted to write, so I’d have a better shot at a good paycheck. I grew up thinking the best thing I could ever have was security. And now I’m divorced, watching my royalties shrink every month, more insecure in every way than I’ve ever been, and I’m realizing that the choices I made didn’t give me what I wanted. I gave up so much in the name of safety, and I let the one good thing I’d ever found go, so I could go back to being the same person I always was. I’m ready to settle again, if this doesn’t work… I’m ready to accept that this is just the way life goes, and be thankful that I got a taste of the kind of stuff I thought only existed in the sort of books I’d read but never write.”

She swallowed as she looked at you, and you felt your eyes water as you stared out the window towards the dimming scenery one more time, smiling at the sight of a distant village, a church with a steeple, vineyards and farms. Someone’s whole life is in that little town, you imagined, and they’re just watching your train go by like they see every other day.

“Sebastian gave me more security than I’d ever had before, even though the whole thing was such a ridiculous little whirlwind, and nothing like I ever imagined my life could be. But he made me want to be honest and raw and write sappy letters like the one you just read. He doesn’t have any money, at least as far as I know, and I haven’t known him for seven years, and on paper it makes no sense… but you would understand if you knew him. If you felt that joy that he radiates, if you saw him live his simple little life like it’s the best thing in the world. You would understand if you knew how much I needed this. You would understand if you had been just as miserable being who I’ve been for so long, and finally had a chance to be somebody you think you were maybe meant to be the whole time. So, if I never see him again, I hope I just get to thank him.”

You waited for her to say something, but furrowed your brow at the long moment of silence, looking back from the window finally and finding her staring at you with a tear running down her cheek. When you met her gaze, she quickly wiped it away with a sniffle and looked down at your desk again. “Let’s get to translating, shall we?” she announced with a half-smile.

You noticed the way the other passengers looked at you as everyone was in line to deboard from the train car; you stuck out like a sore thumb, since everybody else was carrying heavy luggage and all you had was a backpack.

In your defense, you really had no idea how to pack for a trip where you knew neither the duration nor the true final destination. So, it was mainly filled with your essentials, a few clothes for any kind of weather, and enough leu to buy anything else you needed along the way.

The stewardess was waving goodbye to everyone as they shuffled out into the train station, occasionally stopping to shake a hand or give directions to nearby destinations. When you were just about to pass by, though, she pulled you into a tight hug.

“Good luck,” she whispered, holding you just a moment too long before pulling back and giving you an encouraging look. “If he doesn’t take you back, feel free to blame my translation… because if he knows what’s in your heart, I know he’ll say yes.”

“Yeah, that’s the hard part isn’t it?” you laughed weakly. “Thank you for your help. I guess if I come back alone for the return trip tonight, you’ll know how bad it went.”

“Then I hope I don’t see you again,” she winked.

It being a major train station and all, cabs were waiting around every corner so it was pretty easy to grab one and give them the address you already had written down for this exact purpose.

“This is pretty far,” the driver explained, “on the edge of town. Not a tourist spot.”

“Good, because I’m not a tourist,” you nodded, already only giving him half your attention as you pulled out the translated speech to practice.

“And you can afford this?” he pressed. You sighed and dug through your bag, pulling out a haphazard stack of bills and handing them through the plastic partition.

“Is this enough?” you asked, and he didn’t answer, just taking the money and starting the car as you smiled and leaned back in your seat.

As much as you had tried to convince yourself to not get your hopes up, the butterflies in your stomach felt more like whole birds at this point, demanding to break free as you practiced the words hand-written on the page over and over again, committing it all to memory.

“What are you reading?” the cab driver asked after several minutes.

“Oh, nothing,” you mumbled, “sorry if I’m bothering you, you can turn on the radio.”

“No, it’s not bothering me, but what you are saying… it’s very odd. It sounds like something from a play, or movie,” he explained.

“Um, it’s not,” you replied, a little embarrassed. “But does it sound like it’s from a good movie? Like, if you heard a character say this to another character, would you think they should get together?”

“I… don’t know,” he answered, sounding confused. “I mean, it depends on what happened, right? How they met, how well they get along…”

So, you told him the whole story, as succinctly as possible (which is not very succinct at all). By the end, he was actually giving commentary as you spoke.

“Why the hell did you leave?” he interjected, clearly irritated with you. “You loved him!”

“Yeah, well, sometimes love isn’t enough! I loved my husband too, and look how that turned out,” you defended.

“But that’s different. That was love for all the wrong reasons.”

“I promise, it felt very real at the time,” you shrugged.

“And now?” he countered. “You realize that this man— Sebastian, right?— is real.”

“I hope I’m right this time,” you offered. “But even if I am, he may not agree.”

The driver scoffed, taking a hand off the wheel to wave dismissively. “If he’s anything like you said, then he will still be completely in love with you. After all, you still feel the same way after all this time apart, don’t you?”

“If anything, I love him more every day,” you admitted, your heart beating quickly just to say it aloud.

“You know, when I met my wife, she was engaged to another man. He was rich, good-looking, and he wasn’t even a bad guy unlike this husband you describe. He was a good man, but he wasn’t right for her. They were… content together, but she wasn’t truly happy. Every night I would come to her window and beg her to marry me, because I knew that she knew we were meant for each other, but she was scared because her family wouldn’t approve and she would be a poor man’s wife.”

“How did you convince her to marry you instead?” you asked eagerly, sucked into the story already.

“I didn’t. On the day of the wedding, some people told me to go and break it up but I didn’t. I thought it would be wrong, to try to ruin her happiness and take it for myself by making a scene at the wedding. I realized she was her own woman and if she wanted to choose him, I had to let her. I had locked myself in my house, not wanting to see anyone that day, and she appeared at my door. I didn’t need to convince her because she knew the truth in her heart, and called off the wedding herself.”

“Wow,” you smiled.

“She was still in her dress!” he recalled with a hearty laugh. “She looked like an angel. We were married just a few days later. And next month will be thirty years,” he added as he lifted his left hand to show the golden band on his finger.

“Thirty years, that’s… a long time,” you sighed.

“It wasn’t always easy,” he admitted. “But it was always worth it.”

Just as you wondered what you could possibly say to that, you felt the car slow down to a stop.

“This is the address you gave me, this is it,” he explained, pointing out his passenger-side window. You leaned up against the glass and gasped in dawning fear as you saw the storefront dark and empty inside.

“No, nonono,” you whispered rapidly to yourself as you swung open the door and hopped out, pressing your face against the glass to try to get a look inside and finding what was undeniably a closed carpentry business. There was a note on the door, taped on the inside of the glass, and you knew enough Romanian to know it said something about a vacation and three months.

“Shit!” you yelped, holding your face in your hands, wondering if your journey had come to an end before it really began.

“Are you alright?” the driver asked, rolling down his window to speak to you.

“This was my only lead, I don’t have his real address,” you explained. “He used to work here, I thought maybe someone would know him…”

He sighed, giving you a sympathetic look. “Get back in, we can search nearby. You came too far to give in yet.”

But getting back in the car felt like giving in, too, which you realized as you looked back at the note taped to the carpenter's door. This was the closest you'd gotten, and it felt wasteful to leave with nothing.

Just as you were ready to hop in the passenger seat and start searching aimlessly through suburban Bucharest, or maybe look around for a Romanian yellow pages, you heard a noise from behind you, across the street; a laugh. His laugh. But it couldn’t be because it was too good to be true… and yet you found yourself whipping your head around and hoping beyond all reason that it was Sebastian.

Across the street was a restaurant, with a large patio where patrons were dining and chatting as they sat at wrought iron tables, and your eyes searched the crowd for any signs of him.

And then your gaze landed on a head of thick brunette hair, red and gold highlights so obvious now when the sunlight hit it this way. Broad shoulders wrapped in a white button-up shirt. He was facing away from you but he was looking to the side so you could see his face; he was smiling, laughing at something someone had said. And it was his smile that you recognized; it was like everything else faded away, and in that moment you thought maybe you could almost be happy with just this, just seeing him be happy even if it had nothing to do with you.

“Sebastian,” you called out to him, but he didn’t react. “Sebastian!”

His whole body turned, his eyes met yours, and you couldn't help but let the tears well in your eyes as you ran across the road to him.

He looked, understandably, stunned, and you realized he was actually waiting on a table at the moment; he said something to them, apparently excusing himself, and stepped closer to you.

But he stopped walking, not coming any closer, not exactly dragging you into his arms like you might've preferred, but with a breath to try to soothe your racing mind, you summoned your memories of the practiced letter and began. *

“Când am venit în Ungaria…” you started slowly, doing your best to remember the words and hoping your pronunciation wasn’t too awful, “nu căutam dragoste. Căutam spațiu, claritate și poate o idee de carte de un milion de dolari. În schimb, am găsit tot ce am căutat toată viața mea…”

You did your best to bite back tears, especially when his expression was nearly unreadable and you had no idea how well this was going.

“Ești tu, Sebastian, bineînțeles că ești tu,” you sighed, laughing slightly. “Ai fost acolo pentru mine când nici nu știam ce vreau de la nimeni. Ai fost prietenul meu fără să spui vreodată un cuvânt - cel puțin nu un cuvânt pe care l-am înțeles. M-ai iubit și nu știam ce să fac cu asta, pentru că uitasem cu mult timp în urmă cum se simțea să fii iubit. Și ce simțeai să iubești cu adevărat pe cineva. Dar te iubesc. Și am fost prost să te las să pleci, atât de neconceput de prost. Vreau să fim noi, Sebastian. Lasă-mă să te iubesc, mai dă-mi o șansă și îți promit că nu te voi mai lăsa să pleci niciodată.

The first thing he said was your name, and just the way he said it made you fall in love with him all over again.

“I… I dream that you would come back,” he shakily replied. “But now I cannot believe. You are my dream.”

Tears were openly flowing at this point and you wanted to run into his arms, but you tried to stay calm and hear him out. He stepped closer, almost hesitant, like you would run away if he got too close too fast.

“I love you, very much that I am sure I am insane person,” he explained with a grin, and you giggled. “We will live anywhere, do anything you would like— be my wife.”

You gasped as he pulled you into him, gripping your arms tightly as his desperation became apparent.

“Marry me?” he asked softly.

“Da,” you nodded, “yes, of course, anything—”

He kissed you suddenly, but gently, and it said more than any words in any language could.

It was a small wedding, in the Hungarian countryside by the lake. You could remember diving into that lake for lost pages of your manuscript; you could remember looking out over the water and dreaming of this moment you were living right now, thinking it was impossible.

He didn’t have much family, but they welcomed you with open arms.

Your family, well, they were too busy with planning another wedding, for your ex-husband and your ex-sister. A few of them sent cards but the rest were suspiciously quiet. You honestly didn’t even notice… you had a new family to attend to, anyhow. And it wasn’t like you didn’t have any guests, since you were able to track down and invite a stewardess named Maria, and a cab driver named Andrei and his wife, Paola.

Sebastian’s cousins weaved flowers into your hair and his grandmother tailored her dress to fit you like a glove. A picture of his parents was hung nearby in tribute; he told you they would’ve wanted to see him get married but that he felt, in some way, they were able to even if they had passed away quite some time ago.

You realized you’d never seen him in anything even mildly formal before; in fact, the suit he wore was rather casual, all things considered, but he looked so painfully cute in it. Sometimes you thought he actually looked a bit out of place wearing a shirt, though, especially one that was buttoned up all the way.

Luckily, the shirt was halfway unbuttoned about ten minutes into the reception.

Mrs. Alberti cooked a massive dinner for everyone, and even grew the flowers that you carried down the cobblestone aisle.

And wow, can Romanians drink. You had to be careful not to try to keep up with them, because if you had you would’ve been blacked out halfway into the night and the last thing you wanted was to forget even a moment of this.

As the night started to wind down to a close, you and your new husband retired to the lakehouse, running up the stairs and finding them as creaky as always.

He wrapped his arms around you in the hall and kissed you eagerly as you stumbled back into the bedroom, tripping over the doorway and falling onto the bed together.

It felt so right to have his weight on top of you, to feel his smile against your lips, to wrap your arms around his neck.

“This room,” he mumbled into the kiss. “Do you remember first time?”

“Yes,” you nodded, “da, I remember, how could I forget?”

He grinned and moved his lips down to your neck. "I thought of you every day… I love you,” he whispered.

“Te iubesc,” you whispered back.

It was almost like the first time in so many ways: passionate, yet oddly hesitant as you rediscovered each other. It was comfortable, though… you couldn’t think of any other person you felt so comfortable with, somebody who finally got you out of your own head and who made you want to experience everything life had to offer.

You were sure you’d never gone so long without worrying about something in all your life.

“My wife,” he whispered against your skin. “This is all I had wanted… from seeing you in very beginning.”

“You’re all I ever wanted,” you sighed in return, “ești tot ce mi-am dorit vreodată, Sebastian.”

Life with Sebastian was beautifully simple. You spent most of the day writing, usually, while he built furniture to sell and occasionally gardened with his spare time. You could always tell how busy you’d been with a new novel lately by how perfectly groomed the hydrangea bushes were.

You’d told him once that you’d come to Hungary looking for a million-dollar book idea. A Killer in Disguise performed alright, but not anywhere near that. The Language of Love, on the other hand, was definitely a million-dollar idea… about eleven times over. Sebastian didn’t seem to worry too much about how much money you made, though; he was just proud to say that he was the inspiration for your hit novel. You secretly suspected that he was more proud of your work reaching enough international notoriety to be translated into Romanian.

His English still needed some work, but you found it endearing. He was determined to get better and spent at least a half-hour each day practicing, but you hoped he wouldn’t get too perfect because you would miss the silly little mistakes he made. At least you could be sure he’d keep the accent forever… damn, that accent; and he knew exactly what it did to you, too.

In fact, you were crossing through the hall in your robe one evening when your husband’s voice stopped you.

“Darling wife,” you heard Sebastian call from the bedroom in a playful sing-song.

“What is it, Seba?” you asked with a smirk.

“Come in here, please…”

You opened the bedroom door to find most of the room covered in rose petals: most of all the bed, which was surrounded by candles, and topped with a shirtless (as per usual) Sebastian, laid on his side seductively with a long-stemmed rose (one you recognized from his very own garden) between his teeth.

“What are you doing?” you laughed. “Is this some sort of special occasion I’ve forgotten?”

You were already searching your mind for what it could be, but your two-year anniversary had passed a few months ago already and since it was spring it couldn’t be the anniversary of when you first met since that was late in the summer.

“Iss not quite a thpecial occathion yeth,” he answered before taking the rose from his mouth so he actually made sense. “I was considering it could be a special occasion, when we’re done…”

You smirked and climbed over the candles and into bed with him, taking the opportunity to run your hands over his chest. “And what occasion would that be?”

“A year from now, it could be the anniversary of when our child was conceived,” he answered.

Your breath caught in your throat, your voice reduced to a whisper of surprise. “Seba—”

“If you’re not ready, I will be understand,” he instantly added, stern yet soft. “Only if you want this, I just thought that maybe—”

You silenced him with a kiss, lacing your fingers into his hair and letting him roll you onto your back. He pulled back just enough to let you answer, but your noses were still bumping into each other and you smiled.

“I’m ready, Sebastian. More than ready,” you whispered.

He grinned and kissed you again, deeper and slower as he held your face with one hand and gripped your waist with the other. As his lips trailed down to your neck, you were interrupted with one pressing thought.

“Can I ask you something?”

He popped up and looked down at you with a smile. “Sure!”

“Why are you wearing ratty old jeans?” you laughed.

“Hey, these worked on you the first time,” he defended.

You gasped. “You don’t mean those are the jeans—”

“Yes,” he nodded, “the jeans that I had been wearing when I was working on Mrs. Alberti’s cottage. And, truly, when I was finding an excuse to work outside your window.”

“Wait,” you sat up, “did you actually work outside my window on purpose?”

He laughed, hanging his head quickly before looking back at you again with a sparkle in his eye. “You are very smart, my love, except for those times when you are— how do you say? Oblivious.”

You chuckled, unfortunately very aware that he was right.

“Didn’t you ever wonder why I was building a window frame, nearly a dozen metres away from the window it was for?”

You thought for a moment before dropping your face into your hands and laughing. “No, I didn’t notice that. I was too busy giving you a thorough eye-fuck,” you recalled.

“Yes, because I was not wearing a shirt and this distracted you,” he pondered, sounding suddenly like a scientist explaining a theorem or something. “See, that’s the beauty of wearing the jeans and no shirt. The body distracts you while the jeans seduce you.”

“How about you take the jeans off and put that body on me, capisce?” you pleaded; not that you didn’t love his humor or anything, but maybe his funny bone wasn’t exactly the bone you were interested in at the moment.

He grinned devilishly and suddenly pulled your legs apart, settling his body between them as he kissed your neck again, nipping at your jawline and ear. “You’re being impatient, dragă,” he purred. “You want to have my baby that badly?”

You whined involuntarily, arching your back as his hands roamed your body and finally began to untie your robe and push the silk out of the way. “Yes, Sebastian, please—”

“Let’s just say, theoretically, I wanted to have more than one? Would you have another of my children?” he asked softly as he reached up and palmed at your breasts, teasing your nipples which were already much too hard and sensitive for how little he’d touched you. The rough denim rubbing against the inside of your thighs was oddly arousing— maybe it was the sensation itself, or maybe it was just that this was almost like the first thing you imagined when you saw Sebastian all those years ago.

“Yes,” you moaned out your answer, “yes, you know I’d do anything for you.”

“What if I wanted a big family?” he pressed. “Really big? Like, Catholic big?”

“We can have our own fuckin’ Brady Bunch, Seb, I just need you right now,” you begged, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him into a hot and desperate kiss.

He decided to wait until afterwards to ask what a ‘Brady Bunch’ was. You decided to wait until afterwards to ask when he’d learned how to use the word ‘theoretically’.

sfarsit; the end

[inomios]

Eight types of love II Levi Ackerman

Summary: “There are eight types of love, and even though his life has been full of pain since the very beginning, he could say he experienced them all.”

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Word count: + 5k

Author note: This is the first thing I’ve ever published and I’m really nervous, so I would really appreciate if you reblogged, liked and commented. Also, English is not my first language, so I’m sorry for any mistakes. Constructive criticism is really appreciated.

                                                           . . . . 

1. AGAPE or Selfless love

           His mother would tell him everyday that she loved him with everything she had, even though it was not a lot. He asked his mother what love was, what meant loving someone. She couldn’t explain it with exact words, she would tell him that love meant caring deeply for someone, even more than for yourself. She loved him and he loved her, that much was true. He asked if he could love more than one person, his mom told him that yes, you could love many people in your life and in different ways. Then, he proceeded to ask if she had ever loved anyone else besides him, she was quiet, like she was thinking the right answer and after a few minutes she said that she had or at least she thought she did, but she had never loved someone as much as she loved him. Love was a confusing thing for him and the more he asked, the more unclear it got.

          The only thing he was sure of was that the only thing she loved was her mother. However, curious as he was, he would ask her questions about it all the time.

         ‘Is love the best thing in the world?’ 

        ‘Yes, Levi, it is the only thing that makes life worth it.’

        ‘Is love always good?’ 

       ‘Not always, sometimes it makes you sad.’

       ‘I don’t wanna be sad. I won’t love anyone else but you.’ 

      ‘You can’t choose who you love, sweetie.’

      ‘Love sucks.’ 

     ‘You will get it when you grow up.’

     ‘I’m already a grown-up.’

     He tried to get it, but he couldn’t. He prided himself of being smart, his mom would always tell him that he was really clever and witty for his age. Then, how come he wasn’t able to understand love. It was just a four-letter word: L-O-V-E, it couldn’t have such a deep meaning. ‘Door’ had also four letters and it wasn’t hard to understand and ‘Scandalous’, pretty much the biggest word for him, had ten letters and he knew what it meant, he could even use it in a phrase.

      His mom, noticing that he was about to collapse trying to figure out what has love, tried to come up with the best possible definition, one that would please his five-year old son.

    ‘Love is a selfless thing. Love means giving everything you have, to make the other person happy and content, even though you may not get back all you give. When you love someone, you only what the best for them. It can cause you pain too but loving someone and being loved back is one of the best things we can experience as humans. We may not have a lot, Levi, but we have each other and more important, we love one another and that makes us privileged.’

     He understood it then, kind of, so the questions stopped.

     However, when his mother’s body laid lifeless in bed, he regretted not making one last question: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

     Later, when he was under Kenny’s wing and after Kenny had left him at his own, he soon found an answer: no one would.

2. PHILIA or Affectionate love

           After his mother’s death, after Kenny, after everything, he thought that love was out of his reach, something he could never have again. Then Isabel and Farlan happened.

           Every single day since his mother died, he would ask himself if he would love again and if someone would love him back. However, at the same time, he wanted to know nothing about love, love brought pain and he had already suffered enough for a lifetime. He sometimes thought that he had an emptiness inside, a big hole where his heart should be, a room so big that no one could ever fill.

           After his mom came Kenny, but he was sure he did not love him, at least not like he had loved his mother, and he was sure as hell Kenny did not love him back. Love was supposed to be selfless and caring and Kenny was selfish and did not give a damn about him, he proved him that when he left him alone, again.

           Loneliness was a feeling he was already used to but being used to it didn’t mean he liked it. Then again, who would be dumb enough to love him? And he knew better than to love someone who would end up leaving him, like his mother did, like Kenny did.

           Well, maybe he did love Kenny, but loving him was painful. While loving his mother was sweet, freeing and it brought him solace and comfort; loving Kenny was toxic and tough, when he thought about it, it troubled him. He gave him a home and he taught him how to survive in the Underground, he didn’t know why, but he raised him, and Kenny never did something freely, he was sure something was missing there, but he didn’t know what. It was stupid of him to think that he cared about him, but a little white lie never hurt anyone. Loving Kenny, seeing him as the paternal figure he never had, filled him with turmoil and changed the way he perceived love.

           Love was weakness, it could bring you to your knees, he had learned that. It was pointless, why would you commit to something that would inevitably bring you sorrow? He wasn’t about to make the same mistake again, he knew better, the only person who would stay with him was himself and that wasn’t about to change.

           Then Isabel and Farlan walked into his life. Well, Farlan walked, Isabel stumbled.

           They became family. He knew better but he couldn’t help it. They were thick as thieves, literally. Suddenly, they became the family he yearned for since his mother died. He loved them with everything he had. Loving them was selfless as his mother said, he wanted the best for them, he wanted to see them happy, no matter the price. However, it was a different kind of love, it was pure affection. It wasn’t the adoration he had for his mother, nor the rage he felt for Kenny. It was tender and sweet, he never had a brother or a close friend to care about while growing up, but he thought it was supposed to feel like that, it had to be like that. It had to be another type of love. His mother told him that love was never the same, it had different shapes and, for him, at that moment love had Isabel and Farlan’s shape.

           Sadly, nothing good lasts forever, at least not for him. Love causes pain and brings you to your knees, he shouldn’t have forgotten that. When he saw Isabel’s head laying on the floor surrounded by a puddle of her own blood, mouth agape, eyes wide open and pale face, he fell to his knees. He saw a supercut of him, Isabel and Farlan, all the good times, all the laughs they shared and all the stories they still had to write but they would never be able to do because they weren’t there, not anymore, they were gone like his mother, like Kenny. He was alone again.

           Love always brought him to his knees and he would never forget it again. He wasn’t made for love; the same way love wasn’t made for him.

3. LUDUS or Playful love

           Meeting you happened out of pure coincidence, being in the right place at the wrong time.

           He had come from a long mission and he was completely and utterly fine, seriously, but Hange loved to make a big deal out of everything. Well, maybe he had an injury, but a minor one, nothing that he couldn’t take care of himself. He spent years in the Underground, he didn’t need a doctor, he could stitch himself up and place his bones back in place. However, Hange didn’t think the same and was nagging him about getting his injuries checked, so there he was, in one of the infirmary’s bed, waiting for the head doctor.

           It wasn’t that he was scared of doctors or “hospitals”, he just didn’t like the idea of some stranger touching him or feeling hopeless and powerless, he didn’t like feeling like he needed help or advice, he could do it pretty much on his own. But Hange didn’t really trust his medical abilities and he knew that arguing with her was pointless.

           ‘Doctor Brunner couldn’t come since he is busy with some paperwork, so he sent me. I’m his trainee y/n y/ln.’ 

           ‘I’m not letting some failed attempt of medic treat my wounds.’

           It wasn’t what people would call a ‘meet cute’ moment, it was more like a ‘meet jerk’. He wasn’t the best dealing with people, nor that he wanted to be, he preferred it that way. If you had been any other person, you wouldn’t have bitten back, but you had a sharp tongue and weren’t scared of him. That was probably what drew him in, he was so used to people recoiling in fear when they saw him that having someone that actually fought back was quite alluring.

           ‘Well, this failed attempt of a doctor knows more than you ever will, so act your age, stop being a bitch and let me tend your injuries.’

           ‘You have some nerve talking to me like that.’ 

           ‘You have some nerve coming to my workplace to insult me.’

           During that first encounter none of you said much to each other. He wasn’t fond on talking and you didn’t like his attitude, so you didn’t try to strike a conversation. He had to admit that you were good at you job, you tended him with care and you knew what you were doing, not that he would tell you, at least not yet.

           ‘Well, not so bad for a failed attempt of a doctor.’

           It was the closest thing to a compliment he could say, and it looked like you knew, because he swears that he saw you smile a little.

           ‘Aren’t you a pleasure to work with? The injury in your arm was pretty nasty and poorly treated, so luckily for you, you will have to drop by more times to check on you. These are my hours, if you want this failed attempt of a doctor to treat you, Captain. I could get used to see your friendly face now and then.’

           He didn’t know if the last part was supposed to be interpreted as flirting, but he did come back to visit you, to keep an eye of his injury, obviously. However, if you asked Hange, she would say that you had caught his eye, he still says that at that point in your relationship you annoyed him too much to find himself interested in you.

           His weekly visits turned into daily visits, so much for not liking you.

           ‘I’m starting to think I’ve managed to catch your attention, Captain.’ 

          ‘Tch, you’re just less annoying than the rest of the brats.’ 

          ‘Oh Captain, you really know how to make me blush.’

           He lied. You did catch his attention and you both knew it. It wasn’t love, not at all, it was a gentle curiosity that grew a little bit every day, like a flower blossoming.

           ‘Tch, you only know to say shit with that mouth of yours.’ 

           ‘This mouth of mine knows to do a lot of things, want me show you, Captain?’

           ‘When you return from the expedition, you have to come to the infirmary to see your wounds and stop playing the hero, it’s bullshit.’ 

            ‘I’m starting to think you may have an obsession for doing check-ups on me, brat.’ 

           ‘You caught me, I only do them because I can’t keep my hands of you, Captain.’

         ‘Why do you always call me Captain? It’s annoying, I’m not your superior.’

        ‘I know, but I like teasing you with it, Captain.’

        He cared for you more than he cared for other people in his life, he liked being with you, maybe that was another type of love. Loving his mother was selfless; loving Isabel and Farlan was affectionate; loving you, or whatever the hell he was felling, was playful, flirty and it filled him with joy.

       Maybe it wasn’t love, but it was getting there.

4. MANIA or Obsessive love

           Your relationship was frustrating everybody, absolutely every single person that knew about you two, everybody knew you had feelings for each other but none of you did something about it, you just kept tiptoeing around each other. It was painful to see. They didn’t know if you were oblivious, stupid, scared or if you were just messing with them, Hange believed the latter one because there was no way you two weren’t together already. The banter, the flirty remarks, the way he looked out for you and the way you took care of him.

           ‘What’s going on with you and y/n, Shorty?’ 

           ‘You tell me, Four-eyes’

           ‘Tell me the truth, y/n. Are you and Levi dating and just keeping it as a secret? Because I’m losing my mind.’ 

           ‘We aren’t dating, Hange.’

           To be honest, Levi was losing his mind too. The playful game turned into something more serious, something more obsessive and he didn’t like it. He couldn’t stop thinking about you and what were you doing while he was busy with paperwork. On missions his mind wandered about your wellbeing and if you were fine. He couldn’t ignore the way his heartbeat became erratic whenever you were close to him or the way he would notice every single thing about you. He felt powerless, there was no way to stop it.

           He, who always had a plan and knew to do, was helpless under something he could have prevented, or at least something he think he could have avoided. Deep down he knew that he would have fallen for you one way or another, some things are bound to happen, and love is one of them, but he didn’t want to admit that something as mundane as love could outpower him in his own life.

           He was aware of how you felt about him, you weren’t scared to be vocal about it and it drove him mad, and by the way his stoic eyes would gleam and glisten while looking at you, you were certain it was mutual. He knew that if he said the word or gave you signal, you’d be his and he’d be yours, but he couldn’t give you what you wanted, and it was a matter of time before you got tired of him. You were young and beautiful, one the most outstanding creatures he had ever seen, you could do better than him and you’d realize soon enough. Life was too short to waste it on him.

           ‘What are you waiting for, Levi? Do something about it because it’s getting painful to watch.’ 

           ‘Get off my fucking case, Four-eyes.’

           Everyone was waiting for him to do something, but he couldn’t. In those moments he remembered the question he wasn’t able to ask his mother: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’ His mother loved him, and she died, just like Isabel and Farlan, he couldn’t love you, because he’ll end up losing you, the same way he lost everyone else.

           He was loveless.

           But you weren’t, and you found someone to do what he couldn’t do, someone to love you like you deserved.

           He didn’t know a lot about them. You looked happier and that was all he cared about. He thought that seeing you with another person would calm his heart and his desires, but they only got worse, there was no way of forgetting about you. You were everywhere.

           ‘C’mon Levi, do something.’ 

          ‘Didn’t I tell you to drop it, Hange?’

           His visits stopped but you kept waiting for him, hoping he would come to his senses. You didn’t get it, you really didn’t. He had the opportunity, he could have taken the chance to be with you, but he didn’t, so you moved on, or tried to, you didn’t love your partner, but you could see yourself falling in love with them. However, you still missed Levi, not as a potential lover, but as a friend. The way he erased you from his life as you were nothing broke your heart. What did he want from you?

           He wanted everything. He wanted all of you and yet he couldn’t do anything about it. He was just frozen in time while you kept moving. He met your partner, they came to visit you once, they were gentle and loving, they looked at you like you were the brightest star in the firmament. They held your hand and kissed your lips. They did all the things he wanted to do. He was jealous, but he didn’t have the right to say something, he had never had the right.

           The way he looked at you made you feel guilty, like you were betraying him, and you were so confused and annoyed and angry and mad, and you really wanted to punch him in the face. So, you went to his room that night and stormed in.

           ‘What the fuck is wrong with you?’ 

           ‘I should be asking that, I’m not the one barging in someone else’s room with no previous invitation.’

           He had never seen you like that, so mad and full of rage and it was all directed to him and he knew it was his fault.

           ‘What do you want of me, Levi?’

           He wanted everything.

           He wanted you.

           ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. Could you please stop making me lose my time?’

           He saw it in your face, that was the last straw.

           ‘You’re selfish, an asshole, a prick and a lot of other things. But above it all, you’re a fucking coward, so much for Humanity’s Strongest. For fucks sake, Levi, I loved you, I still do, but I can’t keep waiting for someone who is too scared to do something about it. I want you and you want me too. What’s stopping you?’

           He remembered again, the question he never had the chance to ask: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

           You loved him and you weren’t scared of it. But he was, and you were about to leave the room. You turned your back on him and it was now or never. He had to choose: would he let you walk away definitely of his life or would he do something?

           For once, he didn’t think, he didn’t listen to his head, he listened to his heart. For so long he made himself believe that he didn’t have a heart, but his heart was right there, beating for you.

           He kissed you and you kissed him back.

           ‘Mine.’ 

          ‘Yours.’

5. EROS or Passionate love

           You both were private people, you didn’t want people talking about your relationship during its first stages, what you had was precious and new and you wanted to protect it from the world a little longer. That’s why no one really knew about the whole ordeal, well, they knew that something had shifted because you could be in the same room without making everyone uncomfortable with your unsolved issues, but they couldn’t pinpoint what had exactly changed, they just guessed that you sorted everything out, finally.

           However, Hange did know what changed. She prided herself on knowing Levi, after many years working with him she had learned that Levi only talked through his body language, so she started paying attention to what his body said instead of listening to the words he spewed. Therefore, when she asked him if he was dating you and he said a short no, he knew he was lying. She noticed how he seemed more at ease, how you had broken up with your partner, the way he would gravitate towards you and that when he looked at you, his eyes weren’t filled with longing and remorse, they were shinier and less cold than usual. So, she obviously knew that something was up, but she kept quiet. She may talk way too much, and people could find her annoying, but at the end of the day she was a good friend, and she would respect that neither of you wanted to make things public.

           Keeping things private was harder than he originally thought, he was distant and cold to everyone, but he couldn’t be cold and distant with you when you made him burn inside and he could only think about holding you close. It was weird for him, he had spent so many years deprived of touch that he couldn’t imagine himself getting addicted to it, but he was wrong, so wrong.

           You knew that Levi was touch starved, you didn’t need to be a genius to notice. When you picked up his body language and started hearing about his childhood, everything came together: his mother died when he was very young, the most paternal figure he had was toxic and abusive to him and since Isabel and Farlan he didn’t let anyone in easily. Levi wasn’t used to someone doting him and you knew that if you started showering him with affection, it would probably scare him off a little, and that was the last thing you wanted. So, you started slowly: holding hands, gentle caresses, kisses in his cheek, hugs, light pecks on the lips and when you saw that he started getting more comfortable, things started scaling on their own, you let him mark the pace. It wasn’t a quick process, but it was worth it.

           After a few months, Levi couldn’t keep his hands of you and he surely didn’t want you to keep your hands off him. This was a new kind of love, at first, on the early stages of your relationship it was playful, but then it evolved into something more passionate: quick pecks turned into open mouthed kisses; holding hands innocently turned into holding you close while you came undone under him again and again; kisses now went lower and lower, exploring new parts of you that he hadn’t seen and that no one else would. He didn’t think that touch could mean so much to him, but it did now, and he knew that couldn’t ever go back to a touchless life where you wouldn’t be there to love him.

6. PHILAUTIA or Self-love

          He wasn’t neither deaf, blind or stupid. He could hear what people had to say about your relationship, how you deserved better than him; he could see his reflection on the mirror and how he wasn’t beautiful, at least not as much as you, he wasn’t the male that would make people swoon and he knew that you could have any man or female you wanted, but you chose him, out of every other person, you decided to be with him. He was a lucky bastard and you didn’t make good decisions, what a match.

           You would look at him like he held the stars in the sky, and you would touch him like he was about to disappear in any moment, as if he were a dream you were afraid to wake up from. He didn’t get why him, he wasn’t the most handsome, nor the nicest, nor the easiest to love, and you still decided to keep him around. He liked to think that he was smart or cleverer than the average, and yet he couldn’t grasp his head around that the fact you loved him and just him, and that was it, it was as simple as that.

           Whenever you heard the things people said about your partner, you went feral, because you knew all those comments fueled the self-hate Levi had. Being loveless for so long it obviously affected the perception he had of himself and you wanted to change that, because he deserved it, he deserved all the happiness in this dull world. He liked to play strong, but you saw through him, and even though he never acted upon them, it hurt him. You wished he could see himself through you eyes, because it caused you pain the mere idea of him thinking less of himself, that he wasn’t worthy of your love.

           You would tell him every day how much you loved him, as if you were reciting a prayer to your own god.

           ‘I love you.’

           ‘You’re beautiful.’

           ‘I could stare at you for the rest of my life.’

           ‘I don’t know what I would do without you.’

           You would tell him that he needed to love himself, see the good inside of him, he guessed that that was one the types of love he had yet to discover: self-love. He didn’t see himself capable of loving himself nearly the half of how much you loved him.

           ‘You know one reason why you should love yourself, because you make me the happiest I’ve ever been.’

              He didn’t love himself, not yet, but if he was able to make you smile like that, he couldn’t be that unworthy of you.

7. STORGE or Familiar love

              He had been avoiding love for as long as he could remember, and then you burst into his life with the force of a typhoon. Love had found him, and he couldn’t get away, you never can, it was a lesson that he had finally accepted.

             For so long he saw love as something unnecessary, a burden for the soul. Love ruins you, it stabs you on the back, whenever he let his walls down, love would always take advantage of it and destroy him, bringing him closer to insanity, he had lost himself too many times by loving people and when he met you, he did not want the cycle to repeat itself. He didn’t want more Kuchels, Kennys, Isabels and Farlans, love was merciless, and he wasn’t interested in it, at least that was what he told to himself every day, that he was better off alone. Was all the pain worth it? He thought love came with a high price and he couldn’t afford it. However, things change, life happens, destiny has always something in the store, well, in his case he had someone.

           You were his everything, the beacon that brought light in his life, for so long he had been lost, walking amongst shadows, nearly becoming one, and when you appeared you changed the rules of the game, of his game. Every wall he had built around himself came down and you filled every gap his heart was missing. It was the scariest thing he had ever done, letting you in, letting someone in, giving someone else the control of his own heart. You knew the power you held between your hands and you never abused it. You were his solace in this mad world, the oasis in the middle of the desert.

         Loving him was not easy, he knew it, he was rude, sharp, too closed off, mean, he was what people liked to call a ‘fucking jerk’ and yet you never gave up on him, on what you had. Instead of leaving when you had the chance, you stayed through thick and thin: through sleepless nights, through his bad moods and grumpiness, through his biting remarks… .You didn’t ran way, you were too stubborn for that, instead you taught him more forms of love.

         You were all of the ones he knew and more.

         You were selfless, giving him every part of you and loving him with everything you had to offer.

         You were his best friend, his companion, the better half of him.

         You were playful, joyous, probably the only thing that could make him smile and bring him happiness.

         You were consuming, like a fire burning inside of him.

         You were passionate, intoxicating.

         You were every form of love he had ever experienced, but nothing could have ever prepared him for the kind of love he was experiencing in that moment: the familiar one. The one you feel when you hold your newborn in your trembling hands. It was something he couldn’t describe, there weren’t words for it, he tried to, but he failed every single time.

         This was the way his mom loved him, and then he knew how much he had meant for his own mother. While holding little Kuchel on his arms, he remembered all those days and nights on that dirty brothel, all the hours he spent by his mother’s side, how she would do everything to give him the best life and he soon realized there was nothing in this world he wouldn’t do for his daughter. It wasn’t the best of times to have a child, but in that moment, in that precise instant, when Kuchel opened her grey eyes, he was sure of one thing: he would tear everything and everyone down only to see her smile.

        A knock on the door. Another one. Two minutes passed and then Hange, followed by Erwin, entered in the room.

       ‘Tch, Shitty-glasses, who gave you permission to come in?’ 

       ‘My authority as a god-mother.’

       ‘Don’t make me regret it.’

      ‘She’s beautiful, what’s her name?’ 

     ‘Her name is Kuchel.’

     Kuchel was his new world, he loved her so much that it was overwhelming, he would never love someone as much as he loved her, and no one would probably love with the same devotion Levi Ackerman loved his daughter.

    ‘You know, Kuchel, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I promise you that you will have the best life a man like me can give you. I may be a little cold, perhaps a little strict and you will probably get mad at me sometimes, but no matter what happens, I will love you through everything. And by the way, no dating until I’m dead because no brat will be good enough for you. You deserve the world Kuchel and I’ll give you everything it has to offer. Things may get hard, you aren’t born in the best circumstances, but I’ll protect you because you deserve the life I couldn’t live.’

     Kuchel’s first word was ‘dadda’.

     Kuchel’s first steps were pointed towards his father.

     Kuchel’s favorite pastime was being in his father’s arms.

     Kuchel could only sleep after his father had kissed her forehead.

     And Kuchel would never love someone as much as he loved his father, because she loved him as much as he loved her.

8. PRAGMA or Enduring love

           He was old and wrinkly, he was scarred, mutilated and there were days he couldn’t sleep because the nightmares were too real. But he was happy, he was married to the most beautiful and special person he had ever met, he had a loving daughter, a bunch of brats he was proud to call grandchildren and the tea shop he had always dreamed about.

           Life hadn’t been fair to him. He had lost so many people he cared about, he had fought a war and he had had the weight of the world on his shoulders. But, after all, after the tortures, the adversities, the deaths… He had people who loved and whom he loved.

          Love was worth it. He had finally learned that.

          At his seventies he found out about the last kind of love, the enduring, the one that lasts and survives in time. He loved his family above everything, and he would love them long after his bones turn into ashes and no one remembers his name.

         Then he recalled that question he never got to ask his mother: ‘if you died, do you think anyone would ever love me, mom?’

         He looked at the sky and smiled.

        ‘After all someone was fool enough to love me mom, who would have thought?’

         A gentle breeze caressed his skin and a single tear fell from his eye.

        ‘I guess that’s the way you have of answering the question.’

[ballorawan740]

SCP Scenarios: When their kids swear at them (REQUESTED)

Main Masterlist | SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Rules | Request | Socials | My Original Post

Requested by: @Astro_KeySimp

WARNING: Swearing (sorta)

Ok so I kinda made the reader into the child since don't remember if you wanted the reader to be a child or not, so if it wasn't to your liking, then I'm sorry, but I can make a separate version on where the reader isn't the child

It kinda became more of the SCPs and doctors being dads than their reaction to their kids swearing

SCP 073 (Cain)

Cain was walking around with you since you were bored and there wasn't anything to do

Being unaware of what some of the staff were saying, ye went over to grab you some food for later in case you got hungry

Once you both went back, he watched you play with some Legos and was talking as if it was your Lego friends talking to you

Cain looked away for just 10 seconds and heard you shout out "Wow! He said that her baby's such a bi-" which shocked him as he heard it

Cain looked around and made sure that nobody was around the room and was somewhat surprised that you was the one saying this

Being a good dad he is, Cain explained to you carefuly that you shouldn't say that word because it's bad

And being a sweet shy child, you obliged and stopped saying the word

Til this day, Cain had no idea about where and who you've heard the word from and is very much more self-aware

SCP 076-2 (Abel)

Abel is that type of dad who would teach you all the bad words and encourages you to say them

It's the researchers who had to teach you top not to say those words

One time, Dr Glass came in to examine you and had rewarded you as usual since you were so cooperative

You drew a picture of you and Abel talking in a garden with bright coloured flowers

Simon asked if he could see your drawing and saw that the conversation you and your dad had was those of swearing

This surprised Simon since you knew so many at such a young age but wasn't totally shocked since he knew that you were Abel's child

And knowing him, he wouldn't teach you to be nice, so Simon took the job as a mother hen and taught you to not use those words around people

SCP 999 (Tickle Monster)

Ok, so I'll keep this SCP short since I, again, don't know what I should write for this adorable, squicky, neon-orange, bubby blob

Another SCP who doesn't cuss

This adorable squishy boi here was about to have a heart attack when he heard you swear fir the first time

He had to ask you worryingly where you heard that phrase and you just said some guy wearing a white jacket

999 sighed knowing that you'll grow and couldn't do anything to stop it

He did, however, mention that you should try and avoid saying those things to anyone and that they'd most likely have a heart attack since you were his child and you won the genetic lottery for being the cutest and outgoing child in the world

The only other person who knew of this was Dr Glass (sucks to be him ngl, he do be a mother to everyone) and he had to help poor 999 with teaching you better words

SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)

YAY! Another SCP who would teach their kid to swear

682 has such a dirty mouth like 076 and would 100% teach you all the words he knows

Similarly to what happened with Abel, you were taken for an interview with Dr Sophia Light since she was assigned to you

She's such a sweet and kind doctor to be around and would teach you anything and everything you would probably need to know all the while keeping an eye on you in case you become overly aggressive like 682

You were just eating some sweets Lights had given you for good behaviour and overheard some researchers swear

Remembering what your dad had taught you, you just repeated those curse words while clapping at your achievement

This had shocked Sophia and that researcher since you were known to be a moderately shy and quiet child who normally wouldn't say those things despite being 682's child

Sophia had to ask if you understood the meaning of those words and shook your head as an indicator for no

She had to carefully find her words and told you to never speak of those words again and took you back to 682's cell

You went and hugged your dad and told him that you learnt from the doctor that those curse words were bad and neither of you should say them

682 had a headache after that

SCP 049 (Plague Doctor)

I have a hard time thinking that 049 would teach his child to cuss and would avoid swearing in front of them at all cost

Like, he barely swears anyways but he wants to stay classy and sassy for his innocent child

Just like the other day, his kiddo, you, was curious about the whole surgery thingy he does on the dead bodies, so you asked him to teach you and so he did (like the good father we nevah had)

So you learnt some new, yet difficult, words (cuz we all have a nonexistent pea-sized brain) and somehow, you managed to fit in a curse word

This did surprise 049 as he had remembered that he didn't teach you those foul words

He had to give you a talk about using such words and you teared up since you thought that people used them to express their affection to others

Unsurprisingly, 049 took his sweet time looking for the guy who 'taught' you this and wanted to use him as a case study for your future lessons

SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)

Another parent with such an amazing influence on children

035 would teach and enable you to use swearing as a form of expression

So you were free to say whatever you want as long as they aren't directed to our mask here, especially if it's in a negative way

Otherwise, you'd be punished (No not like that! He'll just ground you from your favourite TV show/movie)

The researchers were surprised, not about you swearing, but how you use them through expression

Except for this poor guy who was new to the foundation and bumped into you by accident

This rookie found himself listening to you cursing like a sailor (maybe not that much but more or less on the same level as Samuel L Jackson)

Word got out and everybody laughed at the poor rookie and told him more about your background and how you love to swear (apparently swearing will prolong your life, so you'll basically be immortal here)

035 was impressed by the whole ordeal and rewarded you with more shows to watch whenever you're both free

SCP 105 (Iris)

Iris would accidentally swear in front of you and whenever she realises it, she would tell you to not swear at people since it wasn't very nice

So she would use words to replace the swearing like "oh fudging hell not now" and "no sugar honey ice tea"

The foundation felt that it was slightly unnecessary but went with it anyways

They'd even go as far as saying that it's ridiculous, but who are they to judge?

Iris was your mother and she's a single mum too, so she felt the need to be overly beating but would occasionally let you decide on your own since you were only 12

The foundation members did tell her that you will eventually grow and more of these words will be used but she just hesitates

As a teen, you did begin to use foul words more often and Iris would argue about how you're using them, especially towards her, your own mother

Needless to say, you both felt bad and made up

SCP 106 (Old Man)

Now this old man right here doesn't exactly speak, or at least very rarely

And if he does, he'll most likely be talking to you or the foundation staff if he needed some help finding you

He'll most likely be able to understand what the researchers are saying, even if they aren't speaking English

My own personal hc is that 106 understands English, German, Spanish, French, Chinese, Arabic and Indonesian and probably many others

Every now and again, somebody would come in and teach you new words and give other lessons like maths and poetry (our favourite)

You came back home to tell him all the things you've learnt as he watched you in awe as he braided your hair

You've even used some new phrases, including swear words while talking and 106 was pretty impressed

I feel that he's quite neutral with swear words since words are words and are used as a form of verbal communication

So I don't think they'll be much change in his behaviour to whether you're swearing or not

SCP 096 (Shy Guy)

Now with 096, all he does is scream

So basically, somebody else would have to teach you some words

It's not to say that 096 is a dumb animalistic creature with no soul and just kills people who look at his face

He isn't stupid since he manages to find anyone who looked at his face from the other side of the globe

And he seems to understand what the researchers are saying, or at least on a more intermediate to moderate level

You'll learn about swear words from the other researchers, whether they'll be teaching it to you intentionally or you've overheard them

The foundation could really care less, but would at least prefer that you chill a bit if you got carried away

096 would act all cheery when you learn more new things as it's not like the foundation would let him out anyway, so he'll be living the outside world life from you (How relatable, but more with babysitting and dating, cuz I'm too pretty for anyone to date XD)

Like with 106, I don't think 096 would have any special reaction towards swearing, but would probably be screaming internally for a bit since he knows that it isn't a nice word

Dr Jack bright

This mf right here is one of those parents who would be kind but firm

Bright would most definitely give in to your curiosity and teach you whatever you want to learn but would warn you of the dangers

Depending on what it is, he would even go as far as giving you your own personal guard who would stay with you and train you

And unfortunately, this guard has such a foul mouth, so you're constantly exposed to such words

Luckily for the both of you, Jack Bright doesn't really care about swearing as long as you're not being extremely inappropriate if you were to work

He would even joke around with you sometimes and would even start the conversation with swearing

For instance, he'd just surprise you with a "Yeet his mf outta my sheithole"

And yes, you did laugh at his antics

Some would even say that you're an exact clone of him but more stable (for now)

Well, Bright is an amazing dad, but I'd say just below Dr Glass

Or maybe even on par with him

Like Bright is a goofy dad that has all the terrible dad jokes and Glass would be the type of dad to look out for his kid

Dr Simon Glass

Dr Glass would most definitely avoid using swear words, especially if you were under 15

Even if you were over 15, he'd still avoid swearing unless he wants to make a joke or 2

So most of the time, you'd learn all the swearing from other people and SCPs

Sometimes you would swear by accident and Glass would just look at you, slightly disappointed

I'd say he doesn't exactly care about you swearing per see, but would rather you avoid it

It's cuz Simon is the best dad a dad could ever dad and nobody could prove me wrong here

He's also one of the top best dads compared to the others on the list

He's basically your best friend so he'd let you vent and its the 1 time he'd let you swear to show your emotions

Simon would 100% know your thoughts and behaviour

He's just that good at reading people, especially you - almost to the point where people would say he's an SCP cuz I swear he's just empathic and telepathic

As mentioned before, Glass would be the type of dad to care for your mental health

It's not that the others don't, it's just that Glass is a top their God of Psychology and would come to you before you even know you have depression

He would even crack a joke sometimes

So every so often, he would shout out "LANGUAGE!!!" from across the room before you could even bat an eye and say anything

Dr Alto Clef

Another top tier dad, but swearing addition

Your godfather would literally be Jack Bright

Then it's Kondraki and Glass

He would let you swear on a daily basis and would join you

Sometimes you be looking at your Oppas/Noonas and be like: "Oh fxxk me!" and Clef, who's in the next room, be like: "Yeah, fxxk me too!" (Yes but no sis! No incest pls!)

Other times, you would be in the same room as Clef and Bright and you'd join them in being chaotic

And poor Kondraki  is just there at the back trying to do his work peacefully

One time, Kondraki had to grab a Simon Glass to help stop the chaotic trio

And OML did it end so well

You were easy to manage tbh, with the exception of you swearing

Clef and Bright would most definitely encourage you to swear more

Especially Clef since he does have a twisted sense of humour

Dr Benjamin Kondraki

Kondraki is totally the type of person who would tell their kid to mind their own language

But he secretly doesn't care and his child knows it

His style of parenting is similar to Simon's

And yes, Simon is your #1 godfather/uncle

You'd go to him for emotional support since Kondraki sucks at that

Sometimes you'd swear at him and he'd get mad though

So yeah, running to Glass is a wonderful idea

And we all know that Kondraki doesn't mean what he said

He's just extremely introverted, but he's rather sensible - Usually...

Anyways, he would ask Simon on tips and advice on how to get you to stop swearing so much and he just gave Benjamin a parenting book (Like fr guys, let Glass have some rest, he's tired of babysitting over 100 dozens of pets in the zoo and all the other babies who work in it)