#i’m nauseous pretty much all the time and i feel like all my friends hate me and ive isolated myself from everyone

[chloverly]

i think i’m killing myself a bit by trying to be a good person and i don’t mean that in a “i’m better than everyone” way. like the last couple years i feel like ive kinda made my own personal definition of the social contract in relation to like… cooperation and the advancement of humanity. not bc i want other ppl to think im good but bc i genuinely believe that type of shit is the only way to a better society in the long run. but i give everyone around me endless grace for misunderstanding and being emotional and selfishness but when i do the same things i feel like im in physical distress and deserve to be punished for being a hypocrite

[promptfairy]

❥    𝐋𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐃𝐘𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐒    [   𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂    ]   .

designed for ships, but can be used for a variety of relationship types. change gendered language/add context to your needs. happy roleplaying !!  ♡

❛  it feels so good to be bad.  ❜ ❛  it really makes me wonder if i ever gave a fuck about you.  ❜ ❛  give me something to believe in.  ❜ ❛  i don’t believe in you anymore.  ❜ ❛  i wonder if it even makes a difference to try.  ❜ ❛  so, this is goodbye.  ❜ ❛  one day i’ll wake up & it won’t hurt anymore.  ❜ ❛  it’s like i can’t even feel after the way you touched me.  ❜ ❛  you’re everything that i want, but you don’t want me.  ❜ ❛  am i a regret, yet?  ❜ ❛  was it worth what it costed?  ❜ ❛  you make me nauseous.  ❜ ❛  you’re overrated.  ❜ ❛  when i think of you, i just want to throw up.  ❜ ❛  all my friends say that you’re toxic.  ❜ ❛  why does love suck?  ❜ ❛  love hurts whether it’s right or wrong.  ❜ ❛  i can’t stop, i’m having too much fun.  ❜ ❛  you can’t save me, baby.  ❜ ❛  you never call or listen to me anyway.  ❜ ❛  where were you tuesday, october tenth?  ❜ ❛  how is your jacket covered in blood?  ❜ ❛  how was the party? did you have fun?  ❜ ❛  i fell in love with the warning signs.  ❜ ❛  the only time i feel alive is when i’m touching the warning signs.  ❜ ❛  if you tell me to stay away, i’m gonna dive in again.  ❜ ❛  my favorite color is red like the flags you fly overhead.  ❜ ❛  well, i should have known.  ❜ ❛  didn’t you see it coming? didn’t you see the signs?  ❜ ❛  i’ll break your pretty face.  ❜ ❛  bite your tongue & choke yourself to sleep.  ❜ ❛  you can hold my hand if no one’s home.   ❜ ❛  do you like it when i’m away?  ❜ ❛  you’re a pond & i’m an ocean.  ❜ ❛  all my emotions feel like explosions when you are around.  ❜ ❛  i am a wreck when i’m without you.  ❜ ❛  was it something i said to make you feel like you’re a burden?  ❜ ❛  tell me, is it worth it?  ❜ ❛  she’s a lady & i am just a line without a hook.  ❜ ❛  do what you want as long as you stay here.  ❜ ❛  you’ll change your name or change your mind & leave this fucked up place behind, but i’ll know.  ❜ ❛  if you ever try to leave me, i’ll find you, [name].  ❜ ❛  i’ll be the bad guy, now.  ❜ ❛  i couldn’t be there, even when i tried.  ❜ ❛  seasons changed & our love went cold.  ❜ ❛  i knew that this was doomed from the get-go.  ❜ ❛  you thought that it was special, but it was just the sex, though.  ❜ ❛  it’s only me; what have you got to lose?  ❜ ❛  you should take it as a compliment that i got drunk & made fun of the way you talk.  ❜ ❛  you should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong.  ❜ ❛  you’re so cool, it makes me hate you so much.  ❜ ❛  you’ve ruined my life by not being mine.  ❜ ❛  you’re so gorgeous, i can’t say anything to your face. ’cause look at your face.  ❜ ❛  i’m so furious at you for making me feel this way.  ❜ ❛  if you’ve got a girlfriend, i’m jealous of her. but if you’re single, that’s honestly worse.  ❜ ❛  you’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts.  ❜ ❛  you make me so happy, it turns back to sad.  ❜ ❛  there’s nothing i hate more than what i can’t have.  ❜ ❛  guess i’ll just stumble on home to my cats. alone … unless you wanna come along?  ❜ ❛  you look so happy when i’m not with you.  ❜ ❛  i don’t know why i run away.  ❜ ❛  take me back, ’cause i wanna stay.  ❜ ❛  i kept my distance ’cause i know that you don’t like when i’m with somebody else.  ❜ ❛  i couldn’t help it; i put you through hell.  ❜ ❛  i realize that it’s much too late, & you deserve someone better.  ❜ ❛  i’m not the best at breaking up.  ❜ ❛  i like my alone time, but i want somebody to hold.  ❜ ❛  i get what i want. i keep it for a minute. then i let it go.  ❜ ❛  i hate it when you’re there for me, but i like it when you hit the spot.  ❜ ❛  i don’t do fake love, but i’ll take some from you tonight.  ❜ ❛  i don’t expect you to understand.  ❜ ❛  i’m ready to die holding your hand.  ❜ ❛  i can’t hide how i feel about you inside.  ❜ ❛  i’d give everything up tonight, if i could just have you be mine.  ❜ ❛  i’d give up everything for you.  ❜

[idontplaytrack]

Can I request super flirty Amber x reader where Amber's flirting with reader but they are oblivious and eventually Amber can't take it anymore and kisses reader

Pretty Girl

Amber Appleton x fem! reader

Warnings: fluff, coarse language, kissing

Amber calls reader ‘pretty girl’— always have. But when exactly did that take a turn and become flirting instead of being platonic?

As the thunder roared outside, you were wrapped up under your blanket, comfy— no, sick and exhausted. You had just started your period the night before and have been tormented by the cramps ever since. The pain was so bad, it made you nauseous. You were also, hungry, bloated and craving all sorts of things that you wanted to eat, but at the same time…not really. It was confusing. You hated it, all of this— How terrible you were feeling. So much for a peaceful weekend.

Somehow, you felt yourself dozing off so you snuggled closer to your pillow and hoped you’d fully fall asleep. But hey, of course not. You felt the vomit creeping up your throat before you leaned over the bed and the trashcan, barely making it and letting it spill into the plastic under your mouth. It’s not like you much of anything left in your stomach, but did that stop you from feeling absolutely shitty? No way. Lazily cleaning off your mouth with a tissue you’d grabbed from the box on your nightstand, you stayed on your stomach, and just slept. Tried to, at least.

You woke up after what must’ve been no more than an hour, the rain had started to pour which would typically be the ideal for staying in, getting cosy and just lazing around. But now, you wanted nothing more than to get out of bed and do something with your day. Alas, you could not exactly move. The doorbell rings, making you groan. “It’s pouring out there. Who is it?!” You shrieked, scarily near tears.

The intercom buzzes, “It’s Amber!”

Shit.

You quite literally forced yourself out of bed and walk downstairs, your knees nearly buckled when you first stood up. God, why’d she have to show up now? You got to the door as fast as you could and opened it to let her in.

“Took you awhile.” She says while stepping into the house, “Hi, pretty girl.”

“Sorry.” You muttered, “I’m not—”

“Feeling too well?” She finishes your sentence, “I figured. Wish you would’ve told me.”

You slowly sat down on the couch, groaning, “How’d you know anyway?”

“Honey, I’ve known you, what? Fifteen years now? Give me some credit.”

“So you just figured out I was on my period and decided to show up at my door with…chocolate chip cookies?”

“Yeah, I took a guess.” Amber chuckles, “It’s not that hard to predict it, you know? You always get it around this time of the month.”

“Oh, how nice of you to know that.” You scoffed, leaning forward and burying your face in your hands.

“Did you eat anything?”

You gulped, “Nope, not since dinner last night. Also, I threw that up so please don’t talk about eating.”

Amber sits down beside you, a hand on your head and massaging it, “I’m sorry.” She then guided you to lay on her lap carefully.

You smiled at her a little, it quickly falls though, when you felt another cramp. “Are you sure you don’t want to take something for it?” Amber asks you softly.

“I can, but it’ll just come back up in a few minutes so I’d rather just wait it out.”

You haven’t seen Amber in awhile, honestly. But you knew she had like three part-time jobs that last time you asked her about it. So you figured that was what she was busy with. Oh, and by ‘awhile’, you meant like— at most two weeks. You two haven’t spent much time apart ever. And that’s considering the fact that she has her own little group of friends. You saw them pretty often too, and you knew them but you never really got that close with them even after all this time. But because you were Amber’s best friend, you were always hanging out with them anyway.

Damn, maybe you should really just open your mouth and talk to them more. They were really nice people.

“What’s wrong?” Amber asks, noticing that you’ve gone quiet.

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking about…stuff.”

“Oh, yeah? What kinda stuff, honey?” She looks down at you, bright smile on her face while her eyes formed into little crescents. Her hand was still stroking your hair.

“Random things…I dunno. Like how I gotta talk to your friends more and stop just floating around.” You hummed, “How I haven’t gotten to hang out with you for like two weeks because you’ve been working so many shifts. God, I hope you’re getting enough rest.”

Amber chuckles, “I’m fine. I quit the third job.”

“You did? When?” You ask, absentmindedly playing with the ring on the fingers of her free hand.

“Uh…” She says, her hand in your hair stops moving. You sulked, and she continues the soothing gesture but not without a tiny little laugh. “Like, three weeks ago?”

“Wow, and what have you been up to lately that I couldn’t get to see you?” You joked.

“Shut up, babe.” She giggles. You gasped dramatically and instantly paid for it when you got attacked by yet another cramp, “Babe? That’s a new one.”

She nearly snorted, laughing. Amber’s brows were raised briefly, “You really are so…”

“Don’t yell at me.”

“I’m not gonna yell at you, when have I ever done that?” She squints.

“Well, my mom just did this morning after I told her my cramps were terrible.” You scoffed.

“Do I look like your Mom to you?” Amber couldn’t help but laugh, “Has the pain somehow jumbled up your brain so bad that you’re just saying anything and everything?”

You didn’t know what to say to that you just kept quiet and snuggled more comfortably against her lap, now laying on your side. “Maybe.”

“That’s okay, pretty girl.” You could hear the smile, “I’m sorry you’re not feeling good.”

————

As you laid sleepily in her lap, Amber’s mind started to wander— seemingly recalling every single time she had hung out with you, analysing each day out, and night in…desperately trying to figure something out.

“You’re so pretty.” Amber says, tucking some hair behind your ear.

“Shut up.” You laugh, “I just tried to eat a donut while the wind was blowing in my face. Now I have powdered sugar in my hair.”

“I said what I said.”

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks, Ams.” You didn’t think too much into her little compliment— she says stuff like this all the time. Just to make you smile and giggle. “You’re pretty too.”

~~~~~

Walking through a crowded flea market, your eyes checked out each stall closely, not wanting to miss a good buy. Somehow, you feel an arm wrap around your waist. “Be careful. There’s a lot of people around.” It was Amber. Typical Amber being a worrywart.

~~~~~

“Amber?” You say in a hurry once she picked up your call.

“y/n, it’s 1:30 in the morning.” Amber replied, obviously just woken up by you, “What’s wrong, y/n?”

“Can we go get ice cream?”

“What?” She could not believe her ears. Amber could not believe that you called her at this hour just for that. But hey, she was so relieved that was all it was. Relieved that you weren’t sick or hurt.

“Can we go get ice cream? Please?” You repeated yourself.

“Okay, pretty girl.” She laughs, “I’ll pick you up in fifteen minutes.”

You squealed, “Yay, okay.”

~~~~~~

“Amber, can you help me do my hair? I like when you do it.”

“Okay.”

~~~~~

“Amber, will you please do my makeup? I suck at it.” You groaned.

“Sure, honey.” Amber had her usual smile on her face, “Turn around.”

~~~~~

“Need some help?” Amber asks, watching you struggle to put a necklace on by yourself.

You finally saw her in the reflection and said, “Please.” Handing it to her, she took it from you and pushed your hair in front of one shoulder. Smoothly, she puts the necklace on for you in a matter of seconds.

“There you go.” She smiles, leaning her chin on your shoulder for a beat, her eyes looked at the heart pendant on your necklace then somehow wandered onto your chest. Mentally chiding herself, she gives you a quick hug from behind and then unwrapped her arms, “You ready for your date?”

“Not really.” You admit.

“Aw, you got this, pretty girl.” She gives you a squeeze on the shoulder, “Ben’s really nice.”

“You would know.” You managed a chuckle, “You insisted that you met him first.”

“Of course. He has to be good enough for you.”

~~~~~~

You were at the mall with Amber one Saturday afternoon after having spent the night at her place in the spur of the moment. Actually, that was the last time you saw her before today. So, anyway…because you didn’t have a change of clothes, you were wearing Amber’s clothes. Which was very, very different from your own style.

“Will you stop?” Amber laughs, swinging your hand as she held it, “You look good, okay?”

“Pfft, right.”

“Right.”

~~~~~

Or maybe…the defining moment was right now. Seeing you so pale, so disheveled. Yet, she was completely enamoured by you. She didn’t tell you though. She couldn’t. Because she knew how you’d react. You’d just think she was joking and brush it off. Nothing romantic’s happened between you and Amber, but yet lately, there’s always been the presence of tension from Amber’s point of view.

You on the other hand seemed completely oblivious to her being a little distant for the past two weeks while trying to work through her feelings and piece together what on Earth she wanted to say to you. She could only pray this wasn’t one-sided. Amber loved you too much to mess things up, that was why she said she was busy and didn’t see you for those three weeks. But at the same time, her patience was slowly but surely growing thin. Yet she still couldn’t quite figure out exactly when her calling you ‘pretty girl’ started to have a different effect on her— when she started to get excited to call you that, hoping you’d react the way she wanted you to. But you never did. So she threw in a new nickname, and you were still way too chill about it.

————

Amber didn’t know where that courage came from but…

“y/n?” She said quietly, wanting to get your attention but didn’t want to startle you.

Your eyes came into focus again, meeting her face, “Yeah?”

“I’m in love with you.” She reveals, and before you could even process her declaration, you feel her lips on your own— so soft, and so gentle. So addictive. Fuck.

You’d completely just gave into it, letting her take control as your hand reached up to cup her cheek. It was a bit of an odd position, but you were evidently still in too much pain to move.

“You do?” You tried breaking away for a second to speak but she doesn’t allow it, eagerly reconnecting your lips again. Amber did nod her head, reciprocating with increasingly passionate kisses.

“I fucking love you. I’m not sure when it started, but I am.” She literally speaks into the kiss. And upon hearing that, you could not let her lips go. That was all Amber needed from you. She didn’t even need to hear it— she was too riled up for that now, wanting nothing more than the constant feeling of your lips against hers.

After a mutual breakaway several minutes later, you were breathless and so was she. “So…” She started. “I meant every word I just said. Everything I just did. I want you, y/n, to be my girlfriend.”

“Okay.” You nodded, unknowingly, teary-eyed. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise sooner.”

Amber smiled so widely hearing your response, “It’s okay, pretty girl.” Now in tears, she sniffles and presses a sweet kiss to your forehead, “I have you now.”

“You do.” You nodded, mirroring her smile.

“I love you.” She says, her palm pressing lightly on your lower abdomen to give it some warmth and relief. “Does that help?”

You nodded almost too sleepily, “Yeah. Can you keep doing that please?”

“Of course.” Amber agrees, “Close your eyes, get some rest. I’ll wake you up when lunch is done.”

“No, don’t get up.” You slurred.

“I promise I won’t. Not until you’ve fallen asleep. Then, I’ll make us lunch. Okay, pretty girl?”

“Okay, Ams…okay.”

She chuckles over her words hearing how sleepy you were, “Okay. Sleep tight.”

————

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @reneeswif3 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

————

I’m distracting y’all from the fact that the AJ x reader x Capri isn’t even halfway done six days later

Also don’t know how to write a flirty Amber— I’m sorry🥲

[lulu24784]

washing machine heart | part 8

"I know who you pretend I am."

[AO3 Link] previous chapter | next chapter

synopsis: | You're absolutely infatuated with Stan Marsh and have even started dating him! It should be a dream come true, but the truth is, he's only with you to make Wendy Testaburger jealous. To help you work through your emotions, you turn to Kenny McCormick, your best friend.

pairings: | kenny mccormick x fem! reader ; stan marsh x fem! reader ; wendy testaburger x stan marsh

cws: | angst, drug use/drug mentions, explicit language, sexual content, unrequited love, mental health themes / sh

everyone is aged up to be 18+

Stan knew he had fucked up. Trying to deny it was a waste of time. He had lied right to your face. He wasn’t even drinking with his friends. He had been drinking alone in his room and lamenting every single mistake he had made in life. The next thing he knew, he was drunk and on his way to Wendy���s home.

It was bad. He knew that. He begged her to give him another chance, despite the fact that he was already dating you. When Wendy threw him out, he went to your place. Some type of date was planned for the two of you. He didn’t even care. It didn’t matter to him. Sure, you were cute… But you weren’t her. That’s probably why he left you with no remorse. You were blessed, in all honesty. He was a jackass, and you should have been able to do much better than him. That much was clear to him. He didn’t want to hurt you.

There was no use in trying to salvage your relationship now, so he decided to cut his losses. It was short anyway.. You’d get over it pretty quickly; he figured. It was a mistake to invite you into his fucked-up existence. He was going to hurt you in the same way that he hurt Wendy, and he didn’t want to subject you to that. At least, that’s what he told himself.

Really and sincerely… He felt like he didn’t deserve to be happy anyway.

After Wendy left him, he started dating you out of selfishness. He was such a prick. He even knew of Kenny’s crush on you and he fucking did it anyway… Just to feel better about himself. He even became envious, believing Kenny would whisk you away, despite the fact that he had no right to be so possessive of you. Looking at how attached you are to each other… His chest ached from it.

It’s not like he actually really liked you like that…

Right?

The thought made him feel nauseous.

You were kind and thoughtful. You tolerated his whining and bitching as well as the godawful ‘dates’ he brought you on that were really just his pitiful efforts to get into your pants… Which he couldn’t even do without chickening out. Truthfully, he was glad you two stopped the last time. If anything had really happened, this would be so much messier.

God, he felt like such a mess.

Surely he’d regret all of this in the morning.

Kyle was sitting at his computer busily working on his schoolwork while Stan lay, sprawled out on the floor of his bedroom, watching the spinning ceiling above him.

“I told you, dude. You just need to focus on yourself for a bit and stop drinking so much.”

“Fuck you, dude. You don’t get it. My life is just… It’s shit. I’m shit. Wendy fuckin’ hates me and now so does [Name].”

While Stan rambled on drunkenly, Kyle rolled his eyes and went back to his homework.

“She was sweet, too. I’m such a fuck-up.”

------------------------

The rest of the night was a blur.

You don’t remember how you got to bed, and you certainly don’t remember the moment when your weeping finally wore you out enough to need to go to sleep.

After a long night of crying, you woke up with swollen eyes and a splitting headache. The mattress underneath you seemed as if it would swallow you whole if you moved, and the blankets that wrapped you were so comfortable and soft that you didn’t want to move in the first place. Unfortunately, it was a Monday morning, and you had to get ready for class.

You pulled yourself out of bed and stomped slowly into the bathroom, where you washed the sleep from your face. When you checked your reflection, you looked quite haggard. There was no amount of makeup that could hide the fact that you had spent the whole night bawling. Sighing, you got ready nevertheless, using concealer to try to hide it as best you could.

“For fuck’s sake…” Mumbling, brushing the knots out of your hair.

Today was a sweatpants and hoodie type of day. You weren’t in the mood to make any effort with your look today. What was the point? There was no longer anybody you needed to impress.

Today also felt like a “Skip breakfast” kind of day. You were certain that if you ate anything, it would come back up immediately, so you didn’t want to take a chance.

The morning stroll to school began as you gathered your books and bag and stepped outside. The chilly air felt refreshing on your cheeks, and you could see little puffs of air form on your exhale. Although the frigid Colorado winter was generally unpleasant, today it was welcomed. It was fantastic to be able to tune out your negative thoughts and instead concentrate only on the chill in the air. You’d be happy if you could just sit outdoors and let freezing air bite your skin forever.

It wasn’t until long that you made it to school. Taking a few steps closer to the entrance, you could make out the four usual boys, causing a commotion.

Eric calling Kyle a Jew.

Kyle calling Eric a fatass.

Stan grumbling about how stupid they were.

Stan…

You paused in your forward motion and looked around the group, your gaze inevitably landing on Stan. He seemed worn out and dishevelled, most likely hungover. When he saw you were staring, you swiftly turned away and entered the building. He called out to you, but you ignored him and kept on. You also heard a muffled call from your closest friend, Kenny.

Ah, fuck.

You totally forgot to check your phone to see whether he had ever responded. Of course, it no longer mattered. Although you knew he meant well, a little part of you was nonetheless disappointed that he hadn’t been there when you needed him. Boys really were the worst.

You walked up to your locker, dumped your things inside, and got out your textbook for the next period. A female standing next to you startled you as you were about to shut the locker door.

A purple beret on jet-black hair.

Wendy Testaburger.

“Jesus Christ, you scared me.” You clutched your chest as you wheezed.

Giggling a little, she smiled at you. “Sorry, [Name.]” She looked away for a second, then stepped closer to you, meeting your eyes with a worried expression. “Can we talk for a minute? It’s really important.”

“Uh… Yeah, sure. Um, what’s up?”

Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you shifted awkwardly. What could Wendy possibly want to talk with you about? Did she already know Stan dumped you? Was she here to tell you they got back together and then laugh in your face?

You gave Wendy your undivided attention as you looked into her eyes.

She exhaled. It was clear that something was bothering her a lot…

“[Name]… Um… Stan. He… He showed up at my place yesterday.”

You felt the static in your ears pick up again, and a rush of nervous energy ran through your body. As you listened to her, you felt a tingling sensation spreading across every part of you.

“He… He was begging me to get back with him.”

The pit of your stomach started to churn, and you could feel your heart pounding against the inside of your chest. Your grip on the textbooks you were holding started to get shaky. Wendy seemed to have noticed, and she put her hand on your arm, presumably in an effort to help settle you down a little. You let her.

“I know you two are together, so I kicked him out. I wanted to text you but.. I don’t have your phone number and all of your socials are private, so I don’t think you got any of the messages I sent.”

“Y-You’re kidding…”

Almost immediately, your hand went to your pocket, and you pulled your phone out of it. You glanced at the roughly thirty missed messages from Kenny, but you quickly dismissed them and opened up Coonstagram instead, going straight to your message requests. Sure enough, there they were.

“I wanted you to know from me first, before word gets out, y’know? Rumors always spread pretty fast here..” Wendy murmured, staring at you as you perused the text messages she had sent.

A little part of you hoped she was exaggerating, attempting to fuck with you… However, you made the decision to go with your gut this time and take her word for it. You noted the time that the messages were sent after giving them a closer look and analyzing them more closely.

4pm.

Stan came over around 5pm.

The wheels in your head turned. He visited Wendy before coming to your house…

Was he going to cheat on you before your date? Did he just feel so guilty about it he dumped you?

He was drunk though… So his mind was probably all messed up…

But he still did it.

Your breathing became harder, and you felt like you were about to cry again. You felt tingles all over, and your stomach wrenched. In retrospect, skipping breakfast was the right call.

That was the last thing going through your mind as you sprinted by Wendy and emptied the contents of your stomach into a trash can not far away, dropping your textbook in the process. Other students gasped and bolted, exclaiming, “Ew!” while you sobbed and vomited.

As you continued to vomit, a kind hand stroked circles on your back and another pulled your hair back. Upon looking up, you saw Wendy. She smiled sadly as you retched again and continued to attempt to calm you down with her touch.

“Oh hamburgers! Is your little buddy going to be okay, Wendy?”

“I think so. Thanks for the concern, Butters.”

While you buried your head in the garbage, you overheard Wendy talking to some of the other students. You forgot how popular she was. To everyone else, her soothing you in this way must appear extremely out of the ordinary.

“Hey Wendy! Oh, ew! Gross! Oh my god! Did you tell her?!”

That sounded like Wendy’s friend, Bebe. Although you had never spoken with her before, you could immediately identify her voice. As you spat out the nauseating vomit taste from your lips, you heard someone else approach.

“Damn, poor girl. You told her, hey?”

Heidi Turner.

You groaned and sat back as you completed the process of purging your stomach. A napkin immediately hit your lips as Wendy knelt down and wiped your face for you.

“Are you alright?”

“Y-Yeah… I think so.” You gave Wendy a hesitant nod, still unsure as to why she was being so compassionate towards you. She lifted you up with a kind hand and dusted the dirt from your clothing.

“Good. I’m really sorry, [Name].”

“I mean, it’s not your fault…” you mumbled as you embraced yourself. You cast an eye across at the other two females who had shifted to stand by Wendy. You could feel everyone’s attention on you, which caused you to feel uneasy for a moment.

“Um… Why… Why are you being so nice to me?” You looked down at the ground. “Shouldn’t you hate me or something? For dating Stan?”

Wendy, Bebe, and Heidi all shared a laugh. In that instant, you felt tiny.

“I don’t hate you! If anything, I felt bad for you. I know how Stan is.. I’ve been through it too.” She smiled. “Honestly, I thought you hated me. Stan talked a lot of shit when we broke up.”

“Haha, right?!” Bebe chimed in.

“I wanted to reach out but just kind of figured it wasn’t my place.”

You gazed at Wendy, astounded at how thoughtful she was. You were ecstatic that she was nothing like you had anticipated. Being able to sense genuine concern was wonderful.

“Well, thank you.” Your voice was gentle. “For uh, telling me. Oh, and for holding my hair back.” You and the three girls all laughed. You forced a hesitant “Um” out before grinning dejectedly. “Stan dumped me last night anway, so…”

“Ugh, fucking prick.” Heidi scowled, her arms crossed.

“Girl, you deserve way better anyway.” Bebe moved so her arm was over your shoulder. You felt your cheeks heat up from the closeness; you only ever got this type of attention from Kenny. “We should find you a new man! Or… Woman?” She winked at you, arching an eyebrow in a way that made you flush even more. You stuttered, unable to say anything coherent. Just like your best friend, she was a total flirt.

“Hey, hey…” Wendy interjected, taking your hand in hers and giving you the most adorable smile you’ve ever seen. “Give her some time, you vixen.” She laughed. “Let her get over Stan first. I know it can be a little difficult.” She winked at you with understanding as she pulled you away from Bebe. “How about you sit with us at lunch? We can talk more about it after class.”

“Yeah, Heidi and Wendy can tell you ALL about how to deal with breakups.” Bebe snickered, while the other two gave her dirty looks.

“Sure…” Your voice squeaked as you attempted to smile for the group.

“Perfect! We’ll see you then!” Wendy smiled, squeezed your hand briefly, and then released it. As the three of them walked together to class, they waved goodbye.

You waved back and picked up your book from the floor, where you’d apparently dropped it. You were ready to settle down and go to class when you saw the familiar group of boys making their way into the school.

Eric didn’t direct his attention to you, thank god.

Kyle met your eyes and smiled sadly at you. He was aware of the situation without a doubt.

Stan never looked up from the floor. Your chest felt tight.

Kenny hurried over to you as soon as he could, an expression of worry visible in his eyes.

As he drew nearer, he took off his hood, showing his face and making his anxiety VERY evident. You smiled nervously and waved at him, and he instantly embraced you tightly, forcing your face against his chest. He looked down at you as he drew away while placing his hands on your shoulders.

“You never responded back! Are you okay?!” His voice was frantic.

You couldn’t help but scowl slightly and turn your gaze elsewhere. “I never responded? What about you? You ignored me all night.” You hissed. “You said you’d be there for me. Where were you?”

He froze, his face scrunched up in sadness.

“[Name], Princess, I’m really REALLY sorry. I just got caught up in… some stuff. I didn’t mean’ta ignore you!” Kenny whined and drew you back into his arms, this time encircling your head. He swayed wildly from side to side. “Please don’t hate meee!!”

It was impossible not to giggle at his antics. “Jesus, Kenny. It’s fine. Just… keep your word next time!”

“Oh, of course! I swear! It won’t happen again.” He flashed you a goofy grin before letting go of you and snatching the textbook from your hands. He usually walked you to class, so you figured today wouldn’t be any different. He cleared his throat and looked down at you as the two of you started to walk.

“You never answered me, y’know? Are you doing okay?” He spoke gently and put his hand on the small of your back as you walked together.

“I’m… As okay as I can be.” You spoke, picking your words with care. “Wendy talked with me and I barfed, and now I’m a bit better.”

Kenny paused briefly, bewildered.

“What? Wendy talked with you?”

“Yeah, and then her, Bebe, and Heidi invited me to sit with them at lunch.”

“What? What the fuck? What did she talk to you about?”

You turned your head away from Kenny while chewing your lower lip.

“She told me Stan went to her house… Um… Before he showed up at mine.” You murmured, genuinely wishing that you could simply put this entire incident out of your mind and go on. After a moment, you realised Kenny had come to a full stop. You turned around to face him and… woah. You’d never seen him with that kind of expression on his face. He looked pissed.

“She said she kicked him out… And then he came over and dumped me. S-So…” You trailed off.

Kenny frowned and clenched his fists for a moment before he exhaled deeply, let out a sigh, and walked back beside you.

“I’ll talk to him.”

“Ken, no. It’s fine. Okay? Just… Leave it alone.”

Stepping up to your classroom, you took your books from Kenny. “I appreciate the offer, Ken. I really do. But, it’s done now. I’ll get over it… Probably… It’s not a big deal.”

As his hand came down on your head and he began to ruffle your hair, you saw the bitter expression that was on his face.

“Alright… I’ll see you after school, then? I want to hang out.”

“Sure.” You gave him a kind grin, and he gave you one back before leaving for his own class.

---------------------------

Holy shit. Kenny felt something beyond infuriated; he couldn’t put it into words. The fact that Stan arrived drunk at your house and dumped you like it was nothing was miserable enough, but the fact that he went to Wendy’s just before he did it was simply cruel. The blond frowned while he pulled his hood back up over his face so that no one could see what expression he was making.

In the classroom, he remained mute as he observed Kyle’s unsuccessful attempts to engage in conversation with Stan. Kenny glared daggers into the back of the raven-haired boy’s head. He would be dead right now if he had lazer vision.

Speaking about death… A pang of guilt welled up within Kenny at the notion. Last night, when he should have been at your side, he was powerless to be there. Instead, however, he had chosen to assume the role of a superhero, and it was during his attempt to foil a theft that he met an untimely end.

That’s right, Kenny McCormick was officially declared deceased late yesterday. However, just like every other time he has died, he was alive and well the following day. This time was no different. As usual, nobody was able to remember the incident. It was a tough existence at times…

He knew he couldn’t explain what happened, so he prepared a lame answer in case you pressed him further. Like, maybe he was with a girl and lost track of time?

Ah, maybe not.

Kenny was aware of how vulnerable you were and didn’t want to hurt you by making some other person appear to be more significant than you: his best friend. It was pretty silly, and maybe a little unhealthy… But he loved that aspect of you.

No matter how flawed you were, he still loved you nonetheless. He wished you could see yourself as he saw you. Perhaps you’d have a new perspective on yourself. Who knows? Maybe you wouldn’t fall hopelessly in love with the very first person who paid you any kind of attention who wasn’t your best friend? Or maybe you wouldn’t settle with alcoholics who only used you to boost their own self-esteem?

Kenny sighed and laid his head on his desk, disinterested in the lecture his instructor was delivering. He couldn’t wait until lunchtime so that he could confront Stan about what happened. Sure, you told him not to… But he was going to, anyway.

Stan was his friend and sometimes friends needed their teeth knocked out.

Notes:

Hopefully you like the small glimpse into Stan's mind!

Both Reader and Stan are incredibly insecure with themselves and I wanted to really show that. Stan is much more likely to actively sabotage the good in his life whereas Reader focuses everything inward.

Let me know what you think! This is definitely the longest chapter I've written.

[fever-project]

All the LU Warriors headcanons I’m seeing in the tags makes me want to share my own so uh, have them.

He rarely talked for most of his life. He never really wanted to after puberty hit, he didn’t like how his voice sounded. So he barely interacted with anyone that wasn’t his immediate family. After the war started, however, he wanted to talk more. Even though Proxi could talk for him-which he was very grateful for-he wanted to be able to voice his own opinions by himself.

Speaking of immediate family, he currently has none. He and Linkle are not biologically related, but after the war they now consider themselves to siblings. Linkle’s older by two days.

Wars has a thing for his Zelda(I’m not calling her Artemis I do not like that name for her)but he hasn’t made any moves yet. He gets nauseous whenever he thinks about dating in any kind(mainly Cia’s fault). Zelda respects this, and doesn’t show that she has any romantic feelings about him whatsoever because she doesn’t want to scare him. Wars just thinks his love is one sided, making him wanting to ask her out even less. Linkle’s trying her best to help them out, but she hasn’t been successful yet.

Enough about love, because Wars is a-spec. He’s somewhere on there, I know it. Definitely not me projecting.

Wars loves clothing and the occasional dressing up. He never tells anyone this, but everyone during the war knew it. He got the others to participate too.

Legend once sarcastically criticized Wars’ fashion choice and he changed into his Koholint Hero’s Clothes for a week. Wars did not tell him why he did or what the clothes were called, but Wars felt so proud of himself. Legend just thought he was just making fun of him for his pink hair or something.

Wants to tell Legend so bad about Marin, but Marin probably told him that if he ever meets her Link, to not tell him he met her. She didn’t want to give him any hope that they’ll meet again, because they won’t.

Wars loves fairies. He loves them so much. He loves feeding them, dressing them up, taking care of them, all of that. Fairies love him too, because he tries to feed them whenever the chain isn’t looking. He tries to make sure that no one else knows, since he thinks it’s a bit embarrassing.

Wars wants to use everyone’s items one day. He had so much fun using the Spinner during the war, not to mention the Fire Rod. But he never really asks, since he doesn’t wants to come off as weird.

The ends of his scarf/cape thing used to be red, like in the game, but the dye faded after a few years. He tried to redye it, but it didn’t really work.

He was the captain of his own, specific group consisting of the wayward warriors from across time. They all did interact with regular soldiers, but they mostly worked with just each other and looked to Wars to guide them. Since he usually only command with these guys so I guess he was more of a lieutenant? Idk how ranks work tbh. Nevertheless, he was always called captain by the others, since most of them didn’t really know how ranks worked either. Captain just seemed to fit him. The others who did know about ranks just went along with calling him captain.

Impa helped him so much you have no idea. He was a pretty good leader by himself, but he always appreciated the help.

Both dislikes Tingle and is eternally confused by him. And disturbed. Can’t bring himself to hate him though.

Wars knows things. He’ll nod his head along whenever Time or Wind tell the group their stories, he’s heard them all before anyhow. He does the same with Legend, Sky, and Twilight when they share as well, since he’s heard a lot from their friends. He usually pretends that he doesn’t know anything, however. He’s just nodding along to nod along.

Wars hasn’t told Sky that he met Fi before yet. He doesn’t want to give him any false hope that she’ll wake up again.

he hopes that she’ll wake up too.

Wars doesn’t really understand Four’s negative view of dark magic, or anyone’s negative view of dark magic. A few of his items has a dark attribute, he’s worked with people who had dark magic(like midna), and he’s taken care of dark fairies. Dark magic is just like fire or water magic to him, it’s another type of magic that just so happens to be used by bad guys a lot.

Wars gets along pretty well with Twilight. I’d like to think he’s close with everybody, and besides Time and Wind(and the more teasing relationship with Legend) Twilight’s up there. Probably tied with Sky.

Probably interacts with Hyrule, Wild, and Four the least, compared to others. They all get along, but he almost never actively searches for them to hang out.

Very vague whenever he talks about his adventure. Usually just says something about the war and refuses to elaborate. Everyone’s usually fine with this since most of them do the same thing, but he’s dramatic about it.

[bellysoupset]

not a request but a story I think you might enjoy bc istg this is the most emeto / whump fic thing thats ever happened to me

so I was on a long haul (11+ hour) flight yesterday coming back from a holiday, and I felt pretty much fine on the flight except for a little bit of a tummy ache because my period started just as I got on. I had been a bit nauseous before getting on but that went away after takeoff. I didn’t sleep at all on the plane but I thought that wouldn’t be a problem since I rarely sleep on flights and I’m usually fine, but oh boy…

Once I got off the plane my neighbour picked me up and they took me to their restaurant to grab some food. I got a bowl of beef brisket noodles where the meat had plenty of fat and the soup itself had a decent amount of oil. It was a dish I usually liked but in this instance turned out to be a huge mistake. In an attempt to be nice to my plane stomach my neighbour had apparently requested the chef make it rather bland for me, which was putting it lightly. Unfortunately it did also make the oil taste stronger. It was nice at first but started to become more offputting as I started to overheat - today was the hottest day of the entire year in my country - and then my neighbour got us all out some watermelon which I ate quickly so that we could leave sooner - again, huge mistake.

So then I got on the car with my neighbour and her two kids. The kids I’m usually great friends with and they like talking to me, but after about 2 minutes of being on the car I started feeling pretty bad — I had these really bad tummy cramps that I couldn’t tell if they were from my period or from eating something; I was really warm and the sun was shining on me the whole time; also I was starting to get the tiniest bit carsick. It definitely didn’t help that my mouth had that sour gross aftertaste of watermelon but I couldn’t bring myself to drink any water to get rid of it because I was afraid that putting anything in my mouth would make me throw up. Have I also mentioned that I’ve got a cold and I’ve been awake for about 18 hours as well?

So I asked the kids to be quiet for a bit and told them I’d been awake for too long and they tried their best (they’re like 8). I just sat there with my eyes closed and tried not to break down in any way. Thankfully after a while the cramps stopped but the nausea kept getting worse and worse until I was like, spitting onto my fingers / the collar of my dress, if that makes sense, to try and get rid of the taste in my mouth. I could also feel a burp rising in my chest but I knew that if that came out I would throw up in my neighbour’s car so I did everything I could to keep it down.

After a few minutes of sitting there w my eyes closed my neighbour jokingly goes “you’re not carsick are you?” and I go “no I’m just feeling bad bc I’m on my period” (I have a problem about telling people when I’m feeling bad, I always try and lie about it and say I’m fine lol) but then for some godforsaken reason that comment makes me even More nauseous to the point where I asked her if there was a bag anywhere on the car because I was so convinced I’d lose control and I thought at least having a backup plan - even if I hated throwing up - would be better than losing it and getting puke in my dress and her car. But there wasn’t a bag so I just had to sit there…

And then it gets really weird. My whole body starts going really cold which I found weird because until that point I had been overheating like crazy. And I thought my neighbour had just turned the AC on more but she said she hadn’t. And then I couldn’t feel my legs lol. Like I knew they were there but when I put my hands on them I couldn’t feel my hands really. So yeah I basically fainted in my neighbour’s car. and I was STILL NAUSEOUS >:(

When I got home I was literally so weak I had to sit in the car for five whole minutes till I could get up. They helped me get my suitcases and stuff out of the back and I basically stumbled to my door and then sat down on a stool as soon as I got in. Then it took another 10 minutes of sitting there as the world bobbed up and down under my feet to be able to do the stairs. I felt really bad for my neighbour TBH bc I was being pretty pathetic and she had especially come to get me and I ended up being way more effort than I could have been. After they left I went upstairs and believe it or not I didn’t even have a fever when I checked! I just felt this bad purely from overheating / travel sickness. Although I did have a pretty explosive poo as well so maybe it was also the noodles? That helped a lot actually so then I was able to unpack and pack for my residential the next day (yeah, i know…) and then sleep. Except I kept waking up because my stomach hurt :( (a killer combo of an upset belly and period cramps.). And I STILL have a cold. No nausea anymore though so I’ll take that as a win.

This got really long but hope you enjoy lol

- ☂️

For your residential the next day??? girl you're a champ, i've have given up going already. this was a ride, poor thing!! I cannot imagine how terrible it must've felt, not just the plane, with the stranger, but with your neighbor as well!! 😭😭😭

I did enjoy reading it, but I feel so bad for you!!

[soitmineyouareell]

thorn

Alongside Dog and Phoenix, Mica is the one who’s changed the most throughout the series.

I’ve been cooking this up all day in my head and I’m so excited to be finally typing it out. I am going to be using this as practice for my English classes but I don’t believe I’m going to be delving as deep into Napoleon or Squealer as I do with the Fireborn characters. Also I’m probably going to call Five/Thorn/Mica whatever name he used during the time period I am talking about or Thorn because I’m used to calling him Thorn- I didn’t call him Thorn until the third book came out because again I was not used to it and will probably not be used to calling him Mica for a while. It is a nice name though- I enjoy learning new words from the names in this book. I didn’t know what a zenith or a karst was two years ago.

So firstly, for a lot of, the start especially, seeing as he was half-dead for most of the first book, Five is clearly shown to be arrogant, egotistical and rude. He’s loud-mouthed and doesn’t think before he speaks, also mirroring the snagglefoot he chose, but we didn’t really get to see a lot of her before she died. However, pretty soon, you can see that maybe he’s not completely like that. In the dungeons, he keeps talking to Twelve, and is clearly just as afraid as her but is trying to play it off. “His laugh was high and forced”- is just trying to keep her talking. Obviously, he’s still a complete dickhead right now, making fun of her for using dream milk when he also used to use it. Why he makes fun of her, maybe to feel superior, who knows. We don’t know what caused them to hate each other so much, but I assume Twelve was cold towards him and he held a grudge. He seems the type. Seeing as the book is from Twelve’s point of view, he is made out to be quite stupid at first, but we can see afterwards that maybe he isn’t that dumb. Although, his knowledge probably comes strictly from his father, and not from books, as he is made fun of quite a lot because he just doesn’t read them.

Where would we be if we didn’t talk about his life before the lodge? Being the only one with an abusive father, where he probably got his angry and fearful-of-magic (which is just him being scared of stuff he doesn’t know- he’s perfectly fine when it’s his friends), it’s a fun thing to talk about. (Also the only one whose mother died before he left to go to the Hunting Lodge). Indigo’s first line of the series is a complaint, and first impressions are always important. Thorn was probably subjected to complaints about the other clans frequently, as it is known that they don’t like each other, which is probably why he felt very comfortable calling Phoenix, in the first book, a cavecreeper, which is displayed as something you shouldn’t say, based on Six’s, and others, reactions. Even about the cave clan, who are hated by the others. Bringing it back to Indigo, he’s obviously widely disliked, Chief Karst even telling he always knew that Indigo was a total nutter, and the way he treats his own son proves it. Now Thorn resents him back, and has for a lot, most, or all of his childhood. He makes rude, (yet solicited), remarks about him, even before the others knew they were related, “He always has to be the centre of attention”, or “He doesn’t believe in allowing people to make their own choices” etc.

Now onto him and Fennec. One would assume that he wouldn’t be the best brother in the world, but in the first book, where Dog is telling them all about the cave clan leaders daughter, being torn into literal pieces, he is shocked and looks nauseous, more notably so than Six, (though obviously Twelve doesn’t care because she’s currently racist). I assume this is because this is something that could happen to his brother, and he’s not even worried about himself because he’s not attached to the desert clan anymore. He seems like he would be jealous of his brother for being better than him, as it’s clear that he’s seen as inferior by others, and he even assumes Phoenix is calling him lesser by offering him the potion instead of one of her other friends, but he and Fennec clearly have a good relationship, Fennec begging him to stay, even if they “had their differences”. His usual confidence even wavers when he’s talking about him, and he’s clearly about to cry, though he wouldn’t let anybody know that.

I will reblog and come back to this later but I can’t think of anything else currently. This was really fun though.

[dballzposting]

As I’m approaching my 21st birthday I’ve been wondering how well do the Dragon ball characters hold their liquor?

I don't know anything about alcohol so I'm gonna answer like you said "alcohol" and not "liquor" specifically

TARBLE: He can and will drink so much alcohol without experiencing an effect. He is a quirky fellow and he will drink INTENSELY DIFFICULT FLAVORS with so much appreciation. He won't flinch at all. He will drink and be peachy UNTIL after a long while and much drink he will suddenly come down with a headache and have to retire for the night.

EXCEPTION: He can get wine drunk becasue I think it would be funny

EXCEPTION: When he drinks scotch he gets irritable and shitty and judgmental, but his opinions are and will always be inconsequential so it doesn't matter

VEGETA: He hates that fucking shit. He wants to like it though so he keeps trying. Mostly he avoids it because he doesn't want to compromise himself ever, but sometimes he thinks the situation calls for it so he chokes down a gin & tonic because everyone else is. He's no bartender so he doesn't know all the options and styles out there, "gin & tonic" is one of the few that he can remember the name of so he always orders it and he doesn't even like it. Meanwhile Kakarot is ordering a "virgin rum & coke."

Anyway Vegeta is similar to Tarble in that he doesn't really feel it until it makes him sick, but in a worse way because he will feel less-than and grumpy pretty early on. There are exceptions, but mostly if he lightens up it's because he chose to, not because of the drink. I do want to see Vegeta wine drunk tho so...

BULMA: When she's younger she doesn't hold it well and she's all over the place but she hardens up when she gets older and will drink with dignity and grace. And vomit in the morning

LAUNCH: She CANNOT handle senselessly sweet & fruity things because they make her NAUSEOUS and she WILL start shooting. But she can handle anything else. Her balance will go first so then she'll just sit on someone's porch and keep drinking and she usually gets sort of wistful and woeful like a cowboy ranger reminiscing about loves lost. Then she snores

NICE LAUNCH: She doesn't like alcohol but she'll try something if it's fruity and sweet.

TENSHINHAN: I can't imagine him drinking ever at all ... He does one (1) time with friends and it's crazyyy ... they hit the town and do crazyyy shit ... Chaotzu is the designated driver (he pushes the pedals with his psychic powers)

THE CRANE HERMIT: he's a floozy and a lightweight but he deosn't want you to know that so he fills his flask with cigarette juice & flour and acts like he's holding some really profoundly nasty substance really well

SON GOKU: He just falls asleep. Lightweight

SON GOHAN: He starts weeping softly and then falls asleep like a fawn in the grass. Lightweight

BEERUS: He makes bets that he can't pay out on and then he's saddled with the debt for millennia.. Every time. Not a lightweight he just goes overboard

[callofdooty]

5-4-3-2-1 Tag Game!!

Tagged by @alidravana ! Thank you so much for the tag! :D

top 5 works i’m proudest of (not in any particular order):

Since I only have two actual works, I'll just put them both LOL:

Just Us - Keegan and Merrick havea moment after the events of the game

My Bed Is A Pool And The Walls Are On Fire - Keegan being delirious for 1000 Words

top 4 current wips i’m excited about:

Mostly all Whumpuary works since they've got my full attention rn LOL

Woken Up Like An Animal - Fill for the prompt Nightmares. Logan makes friends with Mouse after he accidentally kicks her across a room. Title is a line from Human by Daughter (aka one of the best Logan songs to exist LOL)

Keegan's Hypothermia fic - Prompt fill for Hypothermia and "Stay With Me" - Trying to play into the found family as much as I can because I am a SUCKER for it) Pending title ^^

My Heroes Are Dead (They Died In My Head) - Prompt fill for Betrayal. Bitter stream of consciousness, takes place after Struck Down, from Keegan's perspective (but Ajax's fate will be left ambiguous so he might be dead, might be canon divergence that lets him live) Title is a line from Diluted by Slipknot

I Won't Give Up On You (So Don't Give Up On Me) - Prompt fill for "Don't Do This" and Blurry Vision. Not entirely sure what this will entail but it will probably center around Hesh and Logan :) I love :) Angst :) I'm just hella into the title and the prompts as a combination. Title is a line from The Sadness Will Never End by Bring Me The Horizon

top 3 improvements in my writing:

Actually rewriting drafts. A lot of the time, I don't typically rewrite drafts, but for some of the Ghosts ficxs, I've actually got multiple different versions of fics LOL

Uhh I'd say I've definitely developed a stylised way of writing? Which, is actually pretty much just the way I write normally AHA - a lot pauses in strange places, and of course the angsty internal monologuing. I also like messing with structure when I can (Unfortunate House of Leaves simp over here)

Catching when my tenses slip. I don't know why, it might be due to roleplaying, but I find that I often flip between past and present tense in the middle of writing (where it wouldn't make sense to) But I've been able to catch it, lately. Makes editing fics a bitch LOL

top 2 writing resolutions:

Just posting more honestly. Last fandom I wrote fics for got a grand total of three fics because I didn't get to finish the others LOL, and then I kind of drifted off to other things (it's still some of my best angst work, so hopefully I can bring that energy to the Ghosts. The character I fixated on actually might have some similarities to Logan ssooo 👁 👁)

Maybe trying to branch out more? My two modes of writing are Hurt/No Comfort (hilarious, because I hate reading Hurt/No Comfort) and Whump so maybe I can try smth else? Maybe romance? Definitely not something I'm familiar with writing, but it feels like something I could try. (The real issue is finding ships I wanna write about /hj)

number 1 favourite line:

Hmm, this is hard, so I'm going to make up for all the other ones I can't fill by giving a few LOL

From Just Us, I'm quite fond of this line:

Shame stirs in his stomach, making him nauseous before working its way up, gripping his heart and then balling up to cause a lump in his throat that he tries his best to swallow around. "I miss him." The shame ignites like a gasoline trail, flaring quickly into anger (whether it's at himself or Rorke... it's hard to tell with all the smoke) that only makes him feel more sick. "God damn it, I miss that piece of shit."

From the Nightmares fic I'm working on (almost done with it!):

Her eyes did more than enough talking on that front, strangely expressive for how closed off she otherwise seemed. They told a thousand stories; all indecipherable, written in a language that no one could speak of, but could understand all the same. The mind's exact tales of suffering were locked away, hidden, but their effect still seemed to shine from the soul's very own fractured looking glass. A hint of resignation acted as dust upon the reflection's surface; a house haunted by time more than any other phantom.

and then this giant excerpt from a WIP abt Hesh :)

Occasionally, a glimpse will come to Hesh’s mind. Sometimes it’s intrusive, lightning flashing against a canopy of dark clouds, shaking the foundations of his mind with a deafening roar. Sudden, brief and violent in nature. Other times it’s… slow. Easy and gentle, like ocean waves crawling their way up the beach; soft, hushed. Almost comforting, if not for the deep grief that the tide often brought with it, the wind brushing by carrying the faint echoes of laughter and excited voices.

On days like this, the wind only seems to carry his own distant screams. The tide now feels lonelier than it ever did. That one set of footprints trailing in the sand was just that; a single set. The second set of imprints settled in his own stride now gone. 

Instead, the ghost of his shadow is embedded yards away, a trench dug out by desperately grasping hands, reaching for anything. Reaching for him.  

It’s still the gentle ease of a memory washing over him, sea foam gathering, swaying and receding slowly, but that’s perhaps what makes it worse. The slowness. The time he has to sit there and dismantle himself from the inside out, while his own head taunts him with things he no longer has, can no longer reach out for. Even the ebb and flow of water can wear down cliffs with enough time, steady and persistent in its movements. 

Imagery galore! LOL

tagging... @bubble-dream-inc , @goorehound and @neon-amnesia (If y'all want to, don't feel pressured to! ^^)

Basic Template:

top 5 works i’m proudest of (not in any particular order):

top 4 current wips i’m excited about:

top 3 improvements in my writing:

top 2 writing resolutions:

number 1 favourite line:

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

i accidentally submitted the first one in the middle of writing it😟😟but can i please get a jjk and demon slayer matchup if thats too much just jjk, btw i go by she/her<333333

I have reddish brown wavy thick hair and brown eyes i usually leave my hair down but i sometimes put it in braids or pigtails , im 5'1, and have a pear body type im a female and bisexual (male preference)

My hobbies are likeee, working out, playing electric guitar, kickboxing, buying dumb shit that i dont need, baking(especially for loved ones)and i have a few other hobbies

For my personality im an istp and an aquarius if those count for anything, its hard for me to describe my own personality but some people dont get my sense of humor often and i come off as mean. Another thing that makes me come off as rude or mean is my social anxiety in public so i dont say much and i have a resting bitch face not even on purpose. I dont consider myself mean, like i genuinely love making people happy and helping them with things but my social anxiety holds me back on trying to help people and complimenting them .I only have a small group of friends that i talk to but i love them so much. I can be antisocial sometimes because being social all the time drains me, . Though when im with my friends and im really energetic, impulsive, dramatic, opinionated, sarcastic and a little annoying and talk a lot n i always wanna do things+a risk taker i get myself in trouble a lot. I hate it when i go over to peoples houses and they js sit on their phone like wtf did i even come here for ??

Some things i love are animals,doing new things, flowers, nature, horror, the color pink, anything pretty really, motorcycles, pinterest, music(especially metal or rock), incense, smoothie bowls, my friends, plushies, dressing up, halloween,long walks and a lot of other thingsssssss

Some stuff i hate are cheaters, home wreckers, talking to new people, feeling nauseous from panic attacks, fatigue, and wasps.

People tend to see me as less emotional which is true sometimes but when i love i really love hard and i dont get with just anyone and it takes me a while to fall for someone and people don't expect it from me, im so different and emotional when i love somebody and i usually just end up being manipulated, and i dont give up on people easily i try my hardest to empathize with them and work it out.

Another toxic thing is i can be overprotective and possessive in relationships a bit😭

i love love gift giving and physical touch both giving and receiving and i like making my partner handmade gifts that take a lot of effort to show i care though i also like spending money on them

I find it cute when the person im with gets overly jealous but i would never purposely wanna make them feel that way, i know how it feels and they don't deserve that. I hate it when people make me jealous on purpose because they "like it". i love being pampered but ill never ask for it

the littlest thing a person i love would do for me makes me so happyyyyyyyy

(im sorry how fucking long this is whenever i start typing things i cant stop)

(HELLO, I’M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO COMPLETE. PROCRASTINATION WAS ON MY ASS!! I hope you enjoy this!)

I match you with..

Gojo Satoru

- When he first meets you he’s the one that made the first move.

- Because Gojo is Gojo, he’ll tease you about your fear of wasps. You’ll be walking with him outside and he’ll suddenly be like “OH THERE’S A WASP-”

- He likes your homemade gifts and keeps every last one of them. He always has the biggest smile on his face whenever you give him anything.

- Speaking of gifts, he loves to gift you small things like flowers, your favorite snacks, etc.

- He pampered you before, but when he found out that you love being pampered he’ll spoil you more often.

- If you get sarcastic with him he’ll do the same, sticking his tongue out whenever you give him a jokingly mad glare.

- When he walks by you he likes to flick you on the forehead then smile at you.

- When the two of you are walking he almost always has an arm around you.

- On Halloween (or more like the month of October) he loves to try and scare you out of nowhere.

- He likes to listen to you play the instruments you love, always cheers you on.

- Believes that your protective side is adorable and will most definitely tease you.

Kyojuro Rengoku

- When you’re first talking to him, he figures out quickly that you don’t really like talking to new people so he always makes sure you’re comfortable.

- He admires that you don’t give up on others easily and that you love to make others happy. He tries to help you with your social anxiety the best he can. If you’re feeling anxious he’ll grab your hand and will squeeze it firmly.

- Whenever you’re feeling nauseous from panic attacks he’ll be there to comfort you. He would get you a cold drink and do whatever you want him to do.

- He thinks that your sense of humor is unique and encourages you to continue making people laugh.

- He absolutely loves your homemade gifts, he thinks it’s very very thoughtful of you to take the time to make something handmade.

- Whenever you two are out in a restaurant he always pulls out your chair for you with a smile on his face.

- He helps you stay motivated to work out and gives you some tips to help some of the soreness.

- He loves to pull you into his chest while you’re cuddling with him.

- When it’s a day off for the both of you, you two will bake together. He always insists on helping you clean afterwards.

Masterlist

[webslingingslasher]

okay okay so i did end up doing something small for my bday yesterday, and discovered that i definitely will not be a drinker 😭 my friends wanted me to get drunk but the taste of alcohol is just…. like idk how other people do it! i felt like a loser LOL but i’m pretty sure i was only tipsy. i was so nauseous and my chest was burning i hated it all so much. this is all very good tho because alcoholism runs in my family so at least we know i won’t be one 😛

-🍃

me fr tho.

i am only a social drinker, i don't like the taste or the way being drunk makes me feel, however if i'm at a bar you best believe i have a double rum and coke in my hands at all times. ((add a squeezed lime, ZERO booze taste.))

but hey! i'm glad you had a little fun on ur b-day! you may have gotten the addiction gene but it's not to booze and that is a celebration!!!

[hungry-tum-stuff]

Thank you for responding! I suppose you wouldn't mind indulging in a few more questions regarding your characters, I love them and find them interesting, both from a kinky and design standpoint! 1) What are their favourite foods? How much do they allow themselves to indulge? 2) Has there been any moments where characters are flustered by the other's belly or tummies in general? After knowing each other for a while, have they grown to being more comfortable with more personal stuff? 3) How do they deal with a particularly prolonged session of being starved or stuffed, either alone or with somebody else? 4) Let us know, do you have any specific fantasies that you like to imagine with your characters, OC or otherwise? 5) If you had to pick one, and there are no repercussions, which character do you want to see in real life? What might you wanna do with them? 6) Can I give belly rubs to your characters? :3

Haven’t checked my asks in awhile, but I’m gonna tackle this one!

1. What are their favorite foods? And how much do they allow themselves to indulge?

🦊 - Azeban likes things with a lot of different and interesting textures, and for a long time that was just meat. But once he’s introduced to regular food it’s all over. He’s found he likes stew the best, it does a great job of filling his belly and it can be prepared with so many different ingredients! He will take any chance he can get to stuff himself to the gills if he’s presented with a pot of stew.

🖋️ - Cecil has pretty high standards when it comes to food. He’s partial to any kind of shellfish though: Scallops, clams, shrimp, he loves seafood! He hardly ever gets to indulge in such a luxury anymore, but even if he got the chance he probably wouldn’t stuff himself the same way Azeban would. He’d eat until he’s content, even if he really wants to eat more.

🧶 - Lumen’s favorite food is tricky. Obviously there’s only one thing they can really indulge in until they’re full, but they’ve found that they adore Jonah’s baking. Cookies, muffins, cakes, they’re just such a welcome change of pace from meat. They indulge in Jonah’s cooking every chance they get <3

🥧 - Jonah loves starchy, carb-rich foods. He can’t resist anything with bread or potatoes. And he certainly isn’t one to hold back when it comes to sitting down and enjoying a meal: if he’s sitting down to eat he’s going to eat.

2. There’s less getting flustered by someone else’s belly but instead getting flustered by their own tummies. Cecil gets incredibly embarrassed whenever his stomach speaks up, he thinks the noises are impolite and that’s not helped by the fact that Azeban has very sensitive ears. Thankfully Azeban doesn’t care much about politeness. Lumen is also quite embarrassed by the noises their tummy makes, only because they’re so loud. Azeban and Jonah could care less about the noises their bellies make, they just continually worry about their friends getting enough to eat.

3. How do they deal with a particularly long session of being starved or stuffed, either alone or with someone else?

🦊 - Azeban does not handle being hungry very well. Despite having to hunt and forage for every meal, his appetite is big enough that going hungry for more than a day really saps his energy. It heightens his senses and makes him hunt better of course, but that doesn’t make the ache in his gut feel any better until he actually catches something. He is perfectly content being stuffed however, it is not often that he gets to experience a truly full tummy and he relishes every moment when he gets the chance.

🖋️ - Similarly to Azeban, Cecil is awful at dealing with hunger. He’s not used to going hungry for any prolonged periods of time, and he finds that he mentally and physically shuts down when he’s starved. He also gets pretty whiny. He’s not any better when it comes to being stuffed though, he hates the sensation of being too full that it makes him nauseous, so if he’s full for a prolonged period of time, he will also not be enjoying it :(

🧶 - Lumen, of course, is used to prolonged stretches of starvation. That’s just everyday life for them. That doesn’t mean they like it though, and they absolutely hate the exhaustion that comes with the starvation. But unfortunately, being full doesn’t bring much respite either, because when they give in and ‘eat their fill,’ they only feel guilty.

🥧 - Jonah used to be able to handle going hungry. He didn’t grow up with much, and starvation isn’t a new feeling to him. Now that he’s older and more spoiled however, he finds that it’s much harder to miss a meal and not get grumpy. As a result, he also really enjoys the feeling of being full. Being overstuffed is no big deal to him, because he knows he can just sleep it off until work in the morning <3

4. See my writing masterpost :3 That’s pretty much in line with my fantasies for these guys

5. Azeban, just so I can give him a big ‘ol hug and tell him I’m sorry for all the tragedy I’ve inflicted upon him 🥺

6. Absolutely! They definitely need it <3

[kexing]

Triage eps 4-5 notes:

Everything with Professor Sakda and his evil gopher minion makes my blood boil. You are doctors it is your sworn duty to take care of people, your patients rely on you and put their lives in your hands, they are completely at your mercy and to take advantage of that in such a way is horrifying.

Little evil gopher is also really bad at killing a comatose guy. Oh wow, I just cannot believe that Varit had his life saved with MEDICINE given to him by a DOCTOR in this HOSPITAL whose job it is to KEEP HIM ALIVE. Who could have possibly seen this outcome coming.

Can’t believe Tin’s finding time to investigate a medical conspiracy on top of everything else.

Art is a bit silly and intense but no one can say that he isn’t a solid dude. He’s halfway to buzzed and he gets a random phone call from the doctor he only met yesterday, and when he gets asked to make sure Tol doesn’t get drunk he’s just like “I’m on it!” and preforms remarkably well.

Oh nooooooo, Tin’s so much more sad and affected by Tol’s death now on top of feeling responsible for Art being involved. Jinta believes in you, Tin! You WILL get it right!

All of Tin’s friends are so concerned about him not taking care of himself and trying to get him to sleep without knowing he’s doing an endurance challenge assigned to him by the universe.

Some people get nauseous or start seeing spiders when sleep deprived, Tin falls out of the timeline and sees the spirit of his dead not-boyfriend.

Ascended!Tol: Please take care of my heart

Tin, falling in love: Wow, that's so romantic to say 🥰

Ascended!Tol: No, Doctor there is literally something medically wrong with my heart and we really should check on that next loop

-

Tin’s timeloop schedule is so fully booked up it’s tiring me out. Would love it if he could take a cycle just to nap and play with Zebra.

Gah, Tin and Varit's scene made me tear up, just taking the moment to sit together and talk so gently to calm Varit down and listening and being there for him. I love Tin so much 💜 (but oh boy not Tin going "I can fix him" about Tol's delinquent behavior 🤣)

This loop’s Tol is just getting fully hit with very capable and pretty doctor swooping in out of nowhere to save his and his friends lives in the most caring and reassuring way, and he is very visibly affected by it.

Every episode it gets funnier just how badly Sing is handling his feelings for Gap. Gap at least is only outwardly denying it and seems to have largely accepted his unfortunate crush. Sing on the other hand both cannot talk to him normally nor can he tolerate Gap talking with anyone else. Toi could barely stay in the room with such a trainwreck.

Okay but what about Seunam? This shopping date is very cute but you can’t just show the little kitty getting brutalized in the previous loop and then ignore it in this one without giving me a reason it didn’t happen again!

Evil Gopher back at it again with making me hate his guts extorting and blackmailing Mai with her mother’s treatment. And yeesh, Mai’s dealing with a lot.

Hey, it’s the magic love clock tower! Was wondering when this beauty would show up.

yeah 😭😭😭 this show has some Real dark turns and unfortunately we can’t say things like that don’t happen in real life because they do 😭😭😭

right? WILD lmao

TIN IS A SUPERHERO!!!!!

art is a good friend!!!!

oh love, get ready for tol’s death affecting tin because it happens a lot 😭😭😭😭 but yeah, jinta believes in him and so do we!!!

TIN HAS THE BEST OF FRIENDS!!! and maybe that’s where his superpowers come from aldkskkdsk

ohhhhh keep that scene of tol appearing to tin in ep 4 on your mind!!! *wink wink*

LMAOOOO yeah, ghost tol was Very serious but tin is already falling aldkskkdskkdks

nobody can convince me that tin didn’t hit the fuck it in certain loops and just went hang out with his cat and watch some movies akdjskdk IT’S TOO STRESSFUL

tin is such a good guy. he can fix tol, trust me 🤣🤣🤣

tol’s not god’s strongest soldier as he believes to be. pretty doctors WILL affect him 🤣🤣🤣

SINGGAP MY BELOVEDS ALDKAKDKSKDK sing is incredibly funny like. bestie tries to hide how whipped he is but WE SEE YOU

lmaooo true but don’t worry. the kitten will be okay!!!!

yeah 😭😭😭😭 poor mai!!! girl goes through so much!!

THE MAGIC LOVE CLOCK TOWER aldkskdkskdk yes, it is very important and very precious to us ❤️💙

happy watching!!! 🥰🥰🥰

[raincoveredeyes]

hi again

i ended up neglecting writing on here everyday. it’s now the 20 of february. it’s been almost exactly 6 months. i reread my last entry and i was still good friends with belle. that felt really weird. the idea that i used to be so close to her kinda upsets me. like that way the whole situation ended feels upsetting. idk what word i’m looking for. 

either way, i started working again. i work at another preschool. i work as extra help for a boy with special needs.

so i’m back the day after since i was busy yesterday. i went to the movies with bass at the mall. we watched castle in the sky. it was nice seeing the movie in theaters. Ate a chicken burger:) I’ve been craving that for a while now it was a nice meal. Kinda caught up with him but it was a bit awkward. I felt like I couldn’t really open up to him because a lot of what I wanted to ay kinda resolves around belle and I don’t want to sound ungrateful or like im complaining. That was a bit upsetting as I really want to talk to him about these things but I cant because they’re siblings. Idk I feel like relationship with him is going to change forever. Eiiiiither way, like I was saying. The theatre was nice in the sense that the seats are always down which is really useful if your seat next to you is empty and you want to leave your coat and other things off the ground. Also this theatre had peanut m&ms!! It’s been a really long time since I’ve eaten them. I forgot how much I like them. And It made me realise that peanuts are my favourite nut now (even tho they’re not technically nuts) and not almonds. I hated the ride home. I got onion sickness really easily and I just felt sick for the rest of the night. 

As for today I didn’t really do much. I just woke up like usual and then went to work. I worked at another classroom. brume. It’s fun and all but it’s so overstimulating for me that I just want to be back in my normal class. Is that really too much to ask?? But like I get it cuz the school saves money like that but still like I was tired to be with that class because of my boy. But when someone is absent and my class doesn’t have a lot of children they send me to the other classrooms instead and like Im just really tired tbh. Also I keep getting sick of the food that the cook keeping cooking lately. I keep getting nauseous and missing work because of it. Im so over it. Idk why she doesn’t change since im pretty sure that a bunch of my coworkers have complained to her and my bosses have talked with her too. Now because o her I have to take my own food from home. That really pisses me off because eating at school saved me a lot of money but now I can even do that because I will just loose money if I keep eating there.

But yeah that’s pretty much it for my day. went to pick up my package, came home, cooked food, responded some messages from some friends and now im just writing here. Very uneventful but im okay with the as im like so exhausted today. Well imm go now bye.

*ೃ༄ blue ˚◞♡ ⃗

[callipraxia]

As long as I live, I will never understand why there is such a disconnect between what Guerlain’s Shalimar is to me and what it is generally perceived as/apparently supposed to be. We all agree that there is vanilla in it, but that’s pretty much the extent of the agreement between what my nose reads and what, apparently, everyone else’s nose reads there.

When I smell Shalimar, I smell two things: lavender on a base of vanilla. Beauty writer Sali Hughes has described Chanel No. 5 as “backbone in a bottle” and like a “strict and impossibly glamorous aunt,” and that’s how I read Shalimar. The vanilla is comforting, the lavender note austere. I imagine Whatever It Is I’m Smelling as exactly the kind of thing I could imagine Peggy Carter wearing after the War in the sadly prematurely cancelled Agent Carter TV show - elegant, no-nonsense, and rather English. It’s the perfect scent for days when I want to get in a very firm frame of mind.

Meanwhile, here is what the folks at Guerlain, who ought to know, have to say about Shalimar:

Apparently, when Shalimar was first released, it was considered scandalously sexy and seductive. Almost an aphrodisiac. A generally well-respected perfume critic (though I personally…don’t really see eye-to-eye with the guy very often) also says that Shalimar has “intensely smoky” and “huge animalic” notes. For the uninitiated, “animalic notes” is perfume-speak for “probably bears a distinct resemblance to either urine or feces.” It can refer to a fur smell or sweat or such, but nine times out of ten, it means it smells like you trapped a cat in a small room all day and forgot to put a litter box in there. Apparently, these notes are supposed to make people think about sex and then want to have some. I find this claim incredible and disturbing, but I’m asexual, so…yeah. In any event, though, it continues the official description’s theme of “this perfume is sexy.” Everyone also agrees that it has no lavender.

I…if I squint really, really hard, I guess I can see how my nose might have taken bergamot and iris notes in at the same time and somehow twisted the combination into “lavender.” Maybe. It sure just smells like straight-up English lavender to me, but maybe. For the life of me, though, I can’t smell anything that brings up the least hint of smoke or a dirty litter box, or even a warm furry friend. I have lived all my life with dogs and currently have a cat, so I feel I am definitely qualified to spot a fur note, and I know I’m not generally anosmic to scents that resemble smoke or bodily wastes, both of which are prominent on my list of “nope” notes when it comes to perfumes - I love the smell of woodsmoke in reality, but I can’t get along with it well in fragrance, somehow. So what in the world is going on when it comes to me and Shalimar???

I would be tempted to assume my nose just isn’t in full working order, and one of my other cosmetic experiences recently could be construed as evidence for that idea. I got a new container of the foundation I wore in high school this week and tried it on today, remembering fondly that I always looked good in it despite how much I disliked the smell of it - it’s L’Oreal True Match Mineral Gentle Mineral Makeup, and L’Oreal cosmetics all seem to have this smell that I find intently offputting. I hated it in my foundation in high school, especially since I could never get completely nose-blind to it and would catch whiffs of it on and off all day, and as an adult, I discovered it was so much stronger in L’Oreal lipstick that I cannot wear L’Oreal lipsticks. The L’Oreal Smell is a lot like the violet smell: I can tell they should be pleasant, but something about them makes me nauseous for no obvious reason. Today, though, I tried on the mineral makeup and…I smelled nothing. No L’Oreal whang, no mineral-y smells, nothing. It’s a bit eerie, if I’m to be honest. However, I also smelled some other cosmetics today and they wer exactly as expected, and I could smell my tea and my mother’s fresh blueberry bread just fine too, so maybe L’Oreal just did everyone with a nose like mine a huge favor and reformulated at some point in the past fifteen years. And I have almost never just failed to agree with the basic consensus on what the dominant notes of a perfume are except in this one case - we might disagree about whether a smell is good or not (a major perfume writer apparently enjoys pee-like animalic notes but despises my mother’s signature scent; I, er, keep a sample of Mama’s perfume around to sniff when my anxiety starts getting out of hand, but am pretty sure I’d consider it a pleasant smell even if I didn’t have that added association going on with it), but we could agree that “this smells vaguely of pee” and “that has some muguet thing going on.” Shalimar, however, is different apparently.

I keep battling the temptation to acquire samples of Shalimar from multiple sources, just to test against my own bottle. I bought said bottle from Macy’s, so I have no reason to suspect it is a counterfeit, but this is all just…odd. Since that would involve more of a financial outlay than I currently consider the issue worth, though, I just take the safe route and mostly only wear Shalimar to bed, where the lavender note I perceive seems to help me sleep after I’m done grumbling to myself about how irksome it is that my calm-down perfume is apparently everyone else’s bow-chika-bow-wow perfume and how I therefore worry about wearing it in public, where I could really do with feeling like I had a strict and impossibly glamorous aunt at my back for support most of the time. As for Chanel No. 5? To me, Chanel No. 5 smells exactly like Johnson’s baby powder…and nothing else. Pleasant enough, but sort of cheap-smelling and something which lacks the austere note I need to go along with the cuddly notes.

And thus I go on, enjoying perfume immensely but always feeling like someone awkwardly standing outside a conversation at a party when it comes to the perfume community. I don’t think Shalimar is the least bit oriental or Suggestive, and I have yet to smell any Chanel perfume I particularly liked. Indeed, they are more likely to give me headaches than pleasure, and I actually recoiled from what is supposedly one of the very best one time. I ain’t cut out for life in Perfume Town, I guess.

[tithonusramble]

I love how I didn’t realize that I had some pretty bad anxiety until I got to college. I thought the pain and stomach problems I would get before a test, presentation or performance was something that everyone got. Everyone told me that was “butterflies in the stomach” but they didn’t feel like butterflies, they felt like a swarm of angry hornets.

When I told a friend about this feeling before a test, she explained that I probably had anxiety. I didn’t fully believe her because this is what I thought everyone felt, but after fully examining how I felt in that instance and in times before that, it started to make more sense.

Yesterday and today have been rough. I finally sent a hard text to someone that I am interested in dating and they have yet to respond. All day yesterday I felt so nauseous from anxiety and stress, I found it difficult to do my job at work. I haven’t been this anxious in a long time which, in it’s own way, is nice but also it makes me remember how much I hate this feeling. I was able to eat some food yesterday, despite my angry stomach, and I feel a little better today.

I still haven’t heard from them but I’m trying not to think about it too much.

Part of my is glad that my body is showing so much stress about this. It means that I really care about this person. In the past, my emotions have been hard to read so feeling such high anxiety about an answer from them does secure my feelings for them.

So that’s comforting at least.