#i’m gunna be working so so much ugh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

slvt4em1lyprenti2s · 9 months ago

Text

Don’t worry about him

Summary: Derek makes a comment about you being too clingy and it upsets you more than you’d like to admit

Word Count: 1.5k

Fluff, kissing, slight self doubt?

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x fem!reader

!NOT PROOFREAD!

Reader pov:

“Are you like glued to her? If my girlfriend was that clingy I could not cope, it’s like being suffocated surely!” Derek taunted as he saw me clutching Emily’s hand on the jet. I instantly let my hand fall out of hers as I laugh it off with the rest of the team. He says stuff like this all the time, why does this one kinda hurt? Am I really annoying? Does Emily not like it when I hold her hand? Am I suffocating her?

Emily must’ve seen the slight falter in my features because once everyone was back in their own conversations, talking theories about the case, Emily placed her hand on my thigh and started rubbing it soothingly. I looked up to her already looking at me. Her brown eyes held a sympathetic expression, I gave her a weak smile and placed my hand on hers. I looked away and started listening to the others talking about the case again.

Time skip to when they’re at the local PD:

Emily’s pov:

I realised through the day y/n’s been pulling away from me, being more distant. I swear to god if it’s because of what Morgan. Anyway, we don’t normally have much pda out in the field, or at work because of keeping it professional obviously, but even when I graze my fingers over her back she’s pulling away. It’s not like her at all.

I walk over to where she’s standing looking through evidence and place my hand in hers.

“Hey you okay?” As soon as I finished my sentence her hand was out of mine already.

“Yeah, fine. Why? You okay?” She responded, sounding deflated.

“You don’t sound okay honey, and you keep pulling away from me.” I hold her hand again and this time she keeps hers in mine, that’s progress.

“Yeah I- uh just. Ugh it’s stupid. I’m fine I promise.” She put on a bright smile and stuck her pinky out in my direction, an adorable tradition of hers. I link my pinkie around hers and place a delicate kiss on her forehead.

“Okay, if you say so.” At that moment Derek walks in followed by JJ and Spencer.

“You still at it? You always this clingy y/l/n?” Jesus, read the room Morgan. She let go of my hand once again and hung her head.

“Hey leave her alone, just because you’re single doesn’t mean everyone else has to be miserable!” JJ teased, instantly jumping to y/n’s defence. I give her a look to say thank you as Morgan holds his hands up in defence. Just as he was about to say something else Hotch walked in.

“We have him. Everyone in an SUV now, Garcia sent the name and location to your phones let’s go!”

The drive to the unsubs house was, not awkward, but different. Y/n didn’t even spare me a glance, Derek was in the back so I didn’t dare reach over to try comfort her, he’d just say something again. I love him like a brother but sometimes he’s just so annoying. We begin to slow down and I look and see that we’re already at the place. We all get out of the SUV and make our way to the front, Spencer and Rossi take the back, me and y/n take the front door, Morgan took the left, JJ took the right and Hotch trailed behind in case anyone needed support.

We breached the front door and found the unsub holding a woman with a gun pointed at us.

“FBI! Mike McAllister put the weapon down!” I yelled as we got in his line of sight.

“You don’t wanna do this James, you’d be just like your dad.” Threatened y/n, a good move on her part.

“You take that back!” He screamed at us, his hands shaking trying to keep the gun steady.

“You’re no better than him if you do this. In fact, you’d be exactly what you made him.” The unsub looked between me and y/n after I said this. I glance towards her to make sure she’s okay, she looks back and silently tells me she’s fine.

“Oh, you’re gunna be sorry you ever said that.” The unsub warned through gritted teeth. He looked me dead in the eye, and then pointed the gun at y/n.

Reader pov:

The son of a bitch just shot me. What on earth? I was pushed back by the force of the bullet hitting my chest - that was thankfully covered by my bulletproof vest - winding me slightly.

I looked back at him after I hear another shot ringing through the house a split second after the first one did. The hostage had run to Hotch in the fuss and Emily had pulled the trigger. After confirming he was dead she came back over to me.

“Hey, are you alright?” Emily fussed as she placed her hand on my back, her eyes were darting all over me to check if I was okay.

“I’m okay- yeah I’m good.” I splutter out, still a little out of breath. She gently pulled the bullet shrapnel out of my vest and ushers me outside to go see medical to double check everything.

As we were walking there em kept putting her hand on my but I just kept shrugging her off. I didn’t want to be clingy or needy just because I was mildly injured. Especially since Morgan was walking up to us.

“Damn you okay?” He asked as I sat on the edge of the ambulance.

“Yeah fine, I’m fine.” I say while removing my vest. I could tell Emily wanted nothing more than to hug and comfort me right now but I don’t want to be clingy and rely on her, like Morgan said. Ugh I need to get him out of my head.

Time skip to when Emily and reader are back home after the case

I walk into mine and Emily’s shared apartment and put down my bag. I let out a big sigh and go to walk to the kitchen for a drink when I feel two hands on my waist that hold me back.

“Hey you.” She muttered as she gently pulled me backwards into her. My from now pressed against her back she spoke again, “What’s gotten into you today? You wouldn’t even let me near you after you got shot y/n/n. What’s going on?” She was lightly swaying us side to side as she spoke while leaving featherlight kisses on my neck and shoulder as her head snaked round the side of my own.

I shake her off yet again and turn to face her, “Nothing I’m okay I told you. I just do t want to you know, suffocate you by being clingy. I didn’t want to annoy you at work either so, yeah. Just after what Morgan said. I mean he was probably just being him but, it got me thinking that I probably do suffocate you and I’m really clingy I’m sor-“ It was as if she didn’t even want those two words to come out my mouth because as soon as Emily caught wind of what I was about to say, her hand came up to cup my cheek and pulled me into a sweet, comforting kiss. Our lips moved together and it was like her kiss was the antidote for all the anxiety I’d been feeling all day. As soon as her lips were on mine, I temporarily forgot all about what Derek said and how it got in my head.

My arms snaked around her neck and hers found home around my waist as she pulled me flush against her. She pulled away but just enough so that I could still feel her warm breath dan across my face. “Don’t worry about him. Morgan I mean. He doesn’t mean it, he’s just lonely, believe me. I love it when you grab my hand or lean on me. It’s comforting, for me and i’m assuming you too. My love, being clingy isn’t a bad thing and honestly you’re not even that clingy Derek’s just being a moody man who isn’t getting any. I love you so much honey please don’t let him get to you.” She kisses me again at the end of her speech. A much needed speech, that is, on my behalf.

I pull away and look her in the eye, trying not to stare and get lost. “Thank you em, I really needed that.” She just smiled and mumbled a ‘You’re welcome.’ As I pulled her into a bone crushing hug. My head fell into her shoulder and I mindlessly played with her hair as her hand ran up and down my back.

Screw Morgan’s stupid comments.

(A/N: I LOVE MORGAN SORRY FOR LOWKEY MAKING HIM THE BAD GUY BUT HES THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD TEASE ABOUT THIS!!)

#wlw #lesbian pride #wlw fanfic #lesbian #sapphic #emily prentiss #criminal minds #wlw pride #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x y/n #emily prentiss x female reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fic

303 notes · View notes

junethestudent · 1 year ago

Note

Hlo~ Mercy

May I request

GP Dreamcatcher reaction to their gf wanting to have sex for the 3rd time in a day? Like them whining and whimpering complaining that their needy?

June Note: Hi okay I’ve been waiting for someone to ask me to write for Dreamcatcher!

ALSO- I apologize for taking so long to respond, I’ve been very busy at work.

AND WE HIT 100 FOLLOWERS YAY! I LOVE YOU SWEETHEARTS!

JiU

JiU comes off as caring and considerate but she definitely wouldn’t hesitate to fuck up your hole for the third time-

I feel as if she would ask embarrassing questions and whisper sweet nothings in your ear to get a rise out of you..

“Are you really sure you want me to pound your pussy again?”

“If it’s what you want then of course baby.”

JiU would take it slow as your bodies get back into the rhythm of it, constantly checking on your wellbeing. But as the pace quickens you would be fucking like horny animals..

SuA

SuA would make you beg for her while she degrades you for being such a horny slut.

“All you’re good for is fucking y’know? Such a worthless slut like you.. of course you want my cock again. Needy whore~”

She would cock her head back and moan as you clench against her length, her hands rubbing the small of your back.

“Are you getting all tight around mommy’s dick? Do you want mommy to paint your pussy white?”

Siyeon

Similar to SuA, Siyeon is dominant and rough. The difference is that she praises you instead of degrading you.

“You want me again? You’re so sweet to me baby, you wanna please my cock for the third time?”

As she pounds into you she runs her fingers through your hair and tucks her head into your neck.

“Tell me where it feels the best. It must be here because every time my tip hits you twitch.. should I stop?”

She definitely teases you during sex-

She holds the back of your neck down and pulls her drenched cock out, slapping the head against your swollen clit.

Handong

Handong is more considerate and would easy-going about it, responding positively. Her main goal is pleasing you, although she is excited that your pussy is wrapped around her cock again.

“Tell me what feels best for you.. ‘wanna make you feel good,” she’d whisper in your ear while slowly entering you.

She is shy switch in my opinion. Although she is mainly dominant as it is her main goal to fulfill all of your needs.

Every time you touch her she moans and buries her cock deeper inside you until her balls are squished against your ass.

“Am I doing okay? Is it good?”

She’d sound so desperate too.

Yoohyeon

Shy bottom. I’m not debating, I am saying. But Yooh could switch if you asked her to.

“You mean like.. you want it inside you again? My cock?”

She would do that nervous chuckle she always does, and twiddle her fingers around all anxious to touch you.

But her cock would still be hard from last time and she needed you so bad, so she was happy you wanted her inside you again.

She would bury her face in your breasts as she slowly inserted her cock, moaning at your wetness and the way you teased her. Blowing cold air in her ear and telling her she was just a “horny puppy.”

Dami

That smirk that she always does- ugh. She would grab your hips and pull you closer to her.

Mating press. Mating press. Mating press.

Her hands pressing your thighs further into your chest as she breeds you with no hesitation.

“Little whore wants it for the third time? How much cock are you gonna beg for?”

And the way she sticks her tongue out- ooh. Her balls would get all tight as she uses you like a fleshlight. She would wipe the sweat off her face and brush her hair back with her hand, all while laughing at your desperate expression.

“Mhm.. take my cock pretty slut. ‘Gunna make me blow my load in you.”

Dami would have her eyes rolled back as she comes, her deep moans echoing throughout the room as she slaps her cock against your slit, spraying her seed everywhere.

Gahyeon

She wouldn’t know what to do, a nervous mess as you seduce her. She would be all giddy and puppyish.

But she would still smile all innocently as she fucked you. She would make comments that came off teasingly but she was just being genuine.

“You’re still so wet even after the first two times.. mngh- you feel good!”

And she’s so sweet that she’d ask for your permission to come inside. She’s so desperate to fill you up.

“Is it okay to come now? I feel all tingly..”

June Note: If it wasn’t obvious I really love Dami’s energy. But I’m OT7!

Also I really like balls. On a girl of course.. not a man. Girl penis domination.

#nsf/w #g!p #dreamcatcher #junethestudent #thoughts #gahyeon #kim minji #jiu #yoohyeon #dami #handong #dreamcatcher sua #siyeon #girl group smut #girl group

210 notes · View notes

ahundredtimesover · 8 months ago

Note

WOOWEEE i’m still processing the new chapter 🥹 i just wanna stress that there’s multiple realities, guys. jk wanting to respect oc by upholding her wishes to grow, but also feeling abandoned by her choices despite him baring his emotions and desire to have her close by. then you have oc feeling the burden of her family ties/debt with the jeon family and wanting to find out who she is away from her current role, but she’s emotionally attached to jk and it’s blurring with her own goals. not only that, we see jk’s codependency on oc and how that could make her feel more chained down. ultimately she’s always needed by someone, but when has she put her needs first?

as mentioned, this is all so deeply rooted. they need to spend time away from each other to grow. jk is probably going to retreat/relapse to his past behaviors or maybe he’ll also be working on himself so that he can be a better partner for oc … my guts say former because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i’m an angst enthusiast.

ALSO i see lots of ppl saying UGH JUST STAY AND DATE, and while yes … this is a fic, this is a slice of life too. yall realize it is super inappropriate to have a secret relationship with your boss? granted all of my bosses have been old balding dudes and not jk, still … it’s the principle 😭 oc and jk having this “separation” period is good (i’m sleeping on the highway) and needed for their character development. i’m sure theyre gunna meet again and the tension is gunna be so high and they will do the boom boom pow💥🤯😏 without feeling that guilt/weird power dynamic!! 🫶🏼

mimi, you’re so awesome and i love this fic so much. YOUR BRAIN IS SO BEAUTIFUL, MUAH!!!!!!! 💋 you did not disappoint with the make out scene … cuz man if they can get like that on their first kiss … WE ARE NOT READY (i am🤲🏼)!! pls take care of yourself as always and hope you have a lovely day

Hi, anon. I took a break from doing my readings bc this just... this just made me smile and it appeased me (as did a lot of other readers' asks and comments) 🥹🥹 especially considering the other asks claiming how the characters are so dumb and stupid, or that they can just date while OC's in the company or date after she resigns. I would like to copy-paste your first paragraph to everything now hahaha (bc oh god the immense joy of a writer when someone accurately says what I was trying to show is insane and that's what I'm feeling!) 😭😭

Like, you couldn't have said it any better. All those things you mentioned can co-exist, and part of the characters' respective stories is learning that those realities can indeed co-exist. Which is why they're as burdened by their choices as they are (and we'll see more of this in ch12). I'd like for you to park that second paragraph bc... I wrote this entire series with the plan for season 2 so whatever happens at the end of this season, know that more will happen and you kind of raised some points already. 👀👀

And with the boss/asst. thing - YES. The power dynamic goes beyond their roles bc their pasts are intertwined as well. Mr. Ri pointed it out to JK - did he want OC to feel indebted to him, too? There are just so many complications. It's always been about needing to feel free for OC. What that freedom means is something she has yet to explore. Even the question of happiness is something she's figuring out.

BUT THANK YOU, like, really. 🥹🥹 It's always tricky and draining to write super long stories like this bc I need to make sure that the characters and storylines are consistent, and knowing that what I intended comes across (most of the time) is truly worth all the stress of writing this one hahaha I hope you're well and I hope to hear from you and your wonderful mind again! 💕💕💕

#mimianswers #fic: iwyts #let me smooch u anon

23 notes · View notes

sidthedollface2 · 2 years ago

Note

I feel like you always reblog really good stories. I’m looking for new writers to follow. Who are some of your fave writers/blogs?

Ok friend here we go. The first blog that comes to mind automatically is

@dumbslxtclub their imagery in their fics is so so good i will read anything they write.

@andvys i crush on andy so fucken hard. Her stuff is my fave and will drop everything im doing to read it. We'll burn the sky is top tier. *chefs kiss*.

I literally stalk @strangerquinns blog for updates of deadly reunion. That fic has a hold of my emotions. It angers me and makes me cry at the same time. Lol. I love the angst it hurts me so good. Lol.

@carolmunson has a fic that pisses me off in the best way. Idk how to explain it but ive read it many times and still makes me mad and i swear thats a compliment. Im a sucker for their heartbreaking angst and i cant for as if 1.5 ❤️

@mypoisonedvine meet the munsons is by far one of my faves and i miss their eddie writing so fucken much.

Oldie but goody is @fairy-asian meet me in the hallway. Ugh. Ugh. So so sad.

@neonghostlights i stalk them too. But shhh. 🤫

@ceriseheaven just binged one of the enjorlas fics and it had me kicking my feet at how cute it was. Deff gunna go through her masterlists.

Can't forget my cum sister @justmeinadaze lol. She knows what the girls like and doubles it. For those late night dirty thoughts shes the #1. ��

Of course all these queens below

@trashmouth-richie

@ghost-proofbaby

@blueywrites

@abibliophobiaa

@morninglesss

@i-me-mine

@icallhimjoey

@ghostinthebackofyourhead

Theres so many more wonderful and talented writers here and i'll always reblog their work. Much love. 🤘😘🤘

50 notes · View notes

suckitsurveys · 3 months ago

Text

Which fictional character can you not stand? Ross Geller from Friends and Andy Bernard from The Office.

What was the one subject in school that frustrated you because you just couldn’t process it? Chemistry.

What’s the weirdest compliment you’ve ever gotten? I don’t recall.

What is an occupation that you would like to do just for one day if you had the chance? Probably like a taste tester or something lol.

What do you think people have an unnecessary stick up their ass about? Ugh don’t get me started.

What common advice do you think never works? "Time heals all wounds.”

What’s the best movie without a happy ending? I’m not sure.

What is something you think is actually better about today’s generation? I feel like they’re a lot more outspoken in some ways.They fight for causes and stick up for themselves and it feels like they’re overall more accepting of people’s differences and advocate for them.

What movie has a worse love story than Twilight? Romeo and Juliet.

What seems obvious to you that doesn’t seem to be for other people? God this is a loaded question.

If your partner in the zombie apocalypse was the main character of the last movie you watched, would you survive? Well, seeing as Beetlejuice has experience with the dead and undead, I feel like I’d be pretty safe.

What’s the worst episode of your favorite TV show? I've never watched an episode of BoJack Horseman I haven’t loved.

You can pick two artists to do a song together, dead or alive, but they have to be from different genres. Who do you pick and why? Lana Del Rey and Dolly Parton might sound good together.

What is something you would never buy again, even if you were rich? I’m not sure.

What do you do regularly despite it being considered very unhealthy or unsafe? Overeat.

What is something that most people find attractive in a person that you find unattractive? A ton of muscles.

Do you ever use facial masks or scrubs? Yeah.

What do you think of the recent trend of adult coloring books? I don’t mind them, I’ve done it a few times.

Which fictional character do you think you’d be great friends with? Princess Carolyn from BoJack Horseman.

What would you do if you found out your toys came to life similar to Toy Story? I have no idea. I’d probably think it was kinda cool.

Do you own any cook books? Yes. My favorite one is the Bob’s Burgers cook book.

Is there anything that you’d like to eat right now? Sushi, always.

What book are you currently reading? I’m not.

What is something that you believe in, but aren’t very outspoken about? A lot of things.

do you think weird it’s for someone to have never tried soda? WHY ARE SO MANY SURVEYS BEING COMBINED WITH OTHER SURVEYS i wanna jump off a cliff. I’m just gunna cross off the rest of these in case whoever is reading this wants to do the rest but I just did this not that long ago.

is there any foreign film you recommend? Naw.

do you have the same religious beliefs as your parents? There are definitely some overlaps. My dad is Jewish and my mom is what I would call casually spiritual. If you made a Venn Diagram of their truest beliefs, then I would probably fall somewhere in the middle. Then there are my own interpretations and understandings which expand into territory beyond either one of them. Overall, though, I think I have more in common with my dad because he’s a deep diver within his own religion, and religion and spirituality are topics that interest me. We can have some really great discussions on the matter.

which floor of your house/building are you on now? I’m on the second floor.

are there any maps hanging in your room? No.

are you often a third wheel? or is someone a third wheel to you? I felt like that for the longest time at the animal shelter. I knew people generally liked and appreciated me, but I wasn’t really fitting in. However, I don’t feel that way as much now, not with the new batch of workers back in cattery. I’m still kind of third-wheely (because I’m shy/socially awkward and also a good deal older than they are), but not to the same drastic extent. I feel much more included, relevant, and free to be my silly and sarcastic self. I had it in my head that the problem might be me (and admittedly, some of it probably was and I do still have some work to do), but now it’s like…oh. I was likeable the whole time?!?!

what’s the last dvd you bought? I’m not sure.

tell me about your favorite pair of jeans. I don’t have a favorite pair of jeans. I basically don’t even wear them anymore.

would you ride a motorcycle if given the chance? (or have you?) I’ve been on the back of one a few times, but I don’t think I would like to ride one myself. Driving a car is enough responsibility for me.

is your hair healthy? Ehhh.

if a hotel offered free breakfast in bed, what would you order? I’d go all out. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, biscuits, maybe some fruit, coffee…

how often do you take a train? Aside from the kiddie train at the city park, I don’t think I’ve ever been on a train. I might have gone on the one at the Royal Gorge, but I can’t be certain that’s a real memory and not some false recollection I settled on after the fact.

what’s your favorite led zeppelin song? Kashmir.

does your home have a balcony/deck/porch? We have a back deck and a front porch.

what does your closet/wardrobe say about you? That I spend a lot of time at an animal shelter. Probably half of my shit is animal shelter shit.

do you enjoy theatre? I don’t not enjoy it. It’s just not really my thing. I wouldn’t want to be in a play, but I would probably go see one with someone if they wanted me to.

how would you feel about traveling abroad alone? Scared, unprepared, inexperienced, lonely, bored…like I had so much to share and no one to share it with. I’d much rather travel with someone.

who would you call a lyrical genius? Idk.

how do you treat yourself? It’s time to make dinner, so I’m going to pause this here (9.10.24) and resume it sometime tomorrow… Okay. I just arrived home from a trip to the Mountain Park - which is one of the ways I plan on treating myself this autumn. I feel like I’ve spread myself too thin with volunteering, so I’m going to take a step back, take an extra day off here and there, and spend more time in the mountains with my dad. Other ways I treat myself include eating fun/favorite foods (so excited for holiday treats!), making time for art, and curling up in bed with my kitties and some YouTube.

do you have an interesting passport? I don’t have a passport.

are you going to pursue a career according to what you enjoy? Yeah.

what’s your favorite frozen treat? Ice cream. You know what else I’ve been enjoying lately? Otter Pops. They’re not typically something I would think to eat, but they’re great for hot afternoons at the shelter when I need a quick chill out/sugar rush combo.

who supports you financially? Social security and my dad. We share our incomes.

if you wanted to go to the movie cinema, how would you get there? I would drive (or be driven).

how many pillows are on your bed? Two regular pillows, three body pillows, and two decorative pillows.

would you pay more for organic food? I might if I preferred the taste of a certain brand, but otherwise it’s not something I pay much attention to.

do you prefer being awake after everyone goes to bed or before they get up? I don’t really have a preference.

do you know much about feng shui? (do you use it?) I know very little, and no, I don’t use it.

how would you make friends in a quiet class? Make meaningful eye contact? Lmao heck if I know. I’m quiet myself, so if other people are quiet, then it’s just gonna be quiet.

are you generally a quick learner? Yeah.

what’s your favorite spot to read? At my computer desk.

did you know that buddha is not considered a god to buddhists? I was aware of that.

do you save tickets from movies, etc.? Not really.

without looking him up, who was jim morrison? The vocalist for The Doors.

when’s the last time your bedroom was painted/wallpapered? Gosh, idk. As far as painting goes, that would have been years and years ago. It wasn’t even finished. As for the wallpaper, that was put up before we moved in.

teach me something in another language. Naw.

what type of music do you like and why? I’ve developed a fondness for classical over the past couple of years.

if you randomly want to eat something in the house, do you eat it or wait? It depends on what it is, what I’ve already eaten, how close it is to meal/snack time, etc.

who knows the most about you (besides yourself)? My dad.

do you have a nervous habit? (e.g. biting nails, tapping feet, smoking) Picking at my nails.

how’s your favorite pro sports team doing lately? I don’t follow any sports teams.

would you be/are you a good role model to a younger sibling? No.

#surverys

2 notes · View notes

givesuethemoon · 10 months ago

Note

hi dear, hope you’re doing alright. :) i’m the no.1 fan and i could easily dm you this but i wanted everyone else to know that.. I LITERALLY WANNA TATTOO EVERY SINGLE WORD OF THAH ON MY SKIN. honestly.. what the actual fuck?! ugh i loved it so so so much i don’t even know how to put it into words. i finished it last night, and woke with such a longing feeling tightening my chest and the urge to sob my heart out because now that it’s done, i don’t even know what to do w myself. :( i can ramble on and on about the beauty of the storyline, characterization and ohhh how you actually improved a lot more in writing an awesome plot which made me —who read every single of your works— really really proud!! but now, i just wanna thank you for gifting us this stunning, beautiful, gorgeous, mind-blowing, dazzling, heart-cracking fic. i just know that i’m gunna think about it for a long long long time because it really did haunt my soul and built a home in my heart. :’) it was so so worth the wait and darling, you've outdone yourself! thank you. thank you. thank you.

literally gonna cry i don’t even know what to say thank you so much!!!!!!

with this fic i was just so determined to reflect on past criticisms of my writing and take them in stride and improve so to hear that the improvement is discernible means so much!

at the same time i feel like i poured so much of myself into this piece (especially in the emotional scenes) so the first few days after posting i was walking around with an imminent sense of anxiety and dread. LOL

but the reception has just been insane. i’ve never felt overwhelmed like this before. thank you for all the love i appreciate it so much you don’t even know

#ask #thah #<3

3 notes · View notes

jinkicake · 2 years ago

Note

BIG MOOD PATHETIC SCARAMOUCHE IS SO FUNNY HES RLY THE LITTLE MEOW MEOW😭 need him to be absolutely obsessed w me but he’s too embarrassed that he wants to hold my hand so he pretends to hate me and im like “ that’s mice sweetheart what di you want for dinner?” Saw someone make a dc where you ignore him for like 5 days and he’s on his knees begging like “PLEASE LOOK AT ME” like thats so real to me😭😭 bc once you’ve given him affection he’s gunna do everything to keep it within his grasp😔 ALSO HE DEF WOULD TIE YOU UP AND LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN💀 childe and singora are so casual about it😭 when he comes back they talk like you’re not even there “how long have they been here?” “I lost count after the fourth hour” “ they’re still conscious I’m impressed” like he’s such an asshole but he will do the 🥺🥺👉🏼👈🏼”can I have a hug” afterwards💀 love that for him. Keeps him in my pocket like a little purse dog, he’s my guard dog boyfriend bc he will kill first and ask questions later. “ I don’t like how he looked at you” “he’s the waiter” AND YOOOO DONT EVEN LET DOTTORE UGLY ASS COME CLOSE TO YOU ITS OVER FR-don’t like his new design he’s just a creep like I was the “clones” back the short haired funny scientist dude like I like them unhinged in a clown way!! He’s fuckable, the abusive leather daddy dom on the other hand😒 like he’s fun if he has a tired annoyed uncle personally like he lives to bully childe. But just going around threatening scaramouche and collei bc I forgot he did experiments on her too in the manga is musty like that mask is lame!! WHERE IS THE CLOWN KING😡- he would reflexively go for his throat like he opens his mouth and suddenly his throat is slit “ my bad I got anxious” SGDHSHS UNDERSTANDABLE😭😭😭 and the streets is saying he’s gunna have a claymore??? BE SERIOUS HES A SCIENTISTS TWINK WHOS HUNCHED IVER IN A LAB ALL DAY HE CANT CARY THAT SHIT?? Like he only experiments on KIDS bc he could never kidnap a whole adult like imagine he tries to get itto?? HIS ASS WOULD BE DEAD IN 10 SECONDS!! HE CANNOT FIGHT DELUSION OR NOT!! I would beat his ASS like if you don’t get your ass out my face looking like an X-ray 😒 like be bothering all them people bc he wants so ass he weights 70 pounds soaking wet so he needs to borrow childes body weight

no exACTLY. listen, i love mean!scaramouche as much as the next person but if he's not obsessed then i dont want him. pathetic!scaramouche is the best scaramouche

i saw this scaralumi fanart of him drunk at a bar and diluc calls lumine to calm scara down and when she answers hes like 'hey ugly' and she hangs up and he starts crying again and ugh it's too perfect like that artist captured his best side with that simple fanart heheh

HAHAH yeah scaramouche is the worst bc he would do something so mean to you like ignore you while working but the second he finds out youre mad at him he'll be begging for your attention like he didn't just starve you for two days.... hes a great yandere me thinks-

Scaramouche = purse dog is the best comparison ive ever read T T

okay hear me out... i can forgive all the heinous crimes dottore has committed but i draw the line at him being UGLY. Maybe if he were cuter I would also be obsessed w him but he's so..... eh- LOL i like the clones better than him! (rip to the clones :-(() but also.... him being ugly is kinda the appeal? am i right??? i can never make up my mind-

dottore is supposed to have a CLAYMORE?! WHAT THE HLLL,,,im very confused about his leaks bc i heard that the shit company can't let characters be playable if theyre evil and tbh i dont want him to be redeemed bc he literally cant be redeemed and hes fun as a psycho like??? idk idk idk im just focused on sexy yelan in 3.4 she will be mine!

also isn't dottore one of the top three strongest in the fatui??? right i think....? i seriously dont know how but tbh i dont care! i just focus on mr hottie soooooooooooo sexy capitano teehee

#sarahandoikawatalkshit

18 notes · View notes

justfantasizing · 2 years ago

Text

I think I’m gunna start using tumblr as my dream blog because I’ve been having the most absurd dreams that feel so intense and so real that it’s driving me a little crazy. I need somewhere to vent.

2023/04/10

These dream I’ve been having are so strange that they have been fucking with my whole mood/day. It’s usually dreams about people I don’t have in my life anymore or a time when I was completely unhinged. This dream I had last night was in present day though celebrating my recent 25 birthday, it was set back in my home town at my childhood home but the layout was weirdly different. This dream started with my dad telling me I could only have 3 friends over? Also my dad moved out of this home when I was 13 so i don’t know what was going on there. I obviously did not listen which I never did and invited everyone I knew which resulted in complete random people being there. I then made up with my old best friend which was strangely therapeutic and I definitely felt less stressed during my dream. She felt very similar to me about our fucked up situation and we finally made up it honestly felt super relieving and when I woke part of me believed she might feel that way in real life. Of course I invited all the my old lovers and the first boy I ever loved showed up which is a big shocker if you knew him. This guy and I never dated in real life but we might as well should have. Honestly idk if it was my mental health was so fucked up at the time but he’s one of the only people I remember how I truly felt about and remember all the crazy moments we had together and how real like feeling were. Like I was only 14 I need to chill out but I don’t even really feel that way or remember a lot about the guy I lost my virginity to. I was such a dumb teenager. Anyways In my dream we had hot make out seshes in the bathroom and snuck around the party trying not to cause to much attention to us. It felt so real though like I remember so many little details like where he would touch me, the butterflies I felt like ugh currently I am not dating anyone or feel the need to date so I think I’m just lusting over it more. I also haven’t talked to this guy in a year and half and he definitely doesn’t need me messaging him out of the blue telling him I’ve been having dreams about him which I have in the past but it just doesn’t seem like a good idea no matter how much I want to. I just wish I knew more about his current life, he post nothing on social media and I’ve never been able to find an instagram. Anyways I’ve been thinking about these two people a lot lately and I feel that’s why I had this intense dream it was so vivid and felt so real. There was many other little details that happened that were just completely bizarre but made it so much more surreal. My Dreams have been affecting me a lot recently so I need some sort of way to work through it. Recently I’ve been scream crying in dreams, waking up in a complete panic and feels like I’m out of breath and it’s been ruining my whole mood.

2 notes · View notes

returntosaturn271995 · 1 year ago

Text

A manic-depressive guide to going on a run

Step one: wait until you’re manic.

I’m totally kidding. You’ve got to save that shit for your capitalist gig. It takes a certain kind of energy to send an email with an appropriate amount of exclamation points. (None makes you read overly-serious, more than two makes you look like an idiot. I don’t make the rules.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, running while depressed, the dynamic duo of never-gunna-happen. Oil and water, a dentist appointment after a music festival, anal sex and Indian food.

They should just exist separately.

After all, running of any kind is about effort. Even the relaxed gentle kind of run, the kind you can breathe during. It’s about warming up your body and pushing forward. Mentally and physically.

Depression is about staying put. Stuck flat on your back in a desolate emotional tundra and not caring if birds of prey peck your eyes out. One of my favorite tweets ever described it thus: “I want a Paranormal Activity movie with all depressed people. That way when furniture moves in the middle of the night, they just roll over and go “whatever”.”

I love that attitude, I’ve had that attitude. You can take my soul, satan, if you can even get anything from someone so dead inside. Just leave me the bed and the pillow I use to separate my knees.

Some say you need a good reason to run. Maybe that’s why you googled “running and depression” to begin with. But reasons only work when you’re already inspired. The have a markedly less persuasive effect when grief sits on your chest or anxiety sends sharp little pangs to your lower stomach.

Here’s how some decent rationale have gone over with bed-ridden me in the past.

You’ll feel better.

No I won’t. I’ll feel this way forever. Moods don’t exist and cycles don’t apply to me. I know I’ve said that before, but this time I’m sure.

You know you’ll feel better

I don’t want to feel better. I deserve this.

(Yup, a real response, I even used to withhold my medication from myself when I was hungover as ‘punishment’”)

Do it for Mom

Ugh, now I just feel lazy and guilty

Do it for Dad

The man who gave me these short shins? He’s done enough.

Do it to look good naked

For the sex drive I don’t have?

Run because…feminism?

Go fuck yourself.

Run because it’s good for you

What does that have to with anything?

Run because you can

I’m tired. Couldn’t I just go in to a coma, instead?

It goes on and on. Reason doesn’t work when you’re in a state that supersedes logic. Here’s the thing, the voice in your head isn’t the enemy. It’s trying to protect you in its own way. Shutting you down until you can turn on again, like a buffering web page or an iPhone you left in the sun too long.

It’s not about the benefits of running. You already know on some level you can do it. You already know it will improve your life and that you actually will feel better once you start.

It’s just so fucking impossible to start.

The end.

Kidding again! See how much fun we’re having?

So here’s my brutally honest experience with running when you’re burnt out and down. My fool-proof methods to keeping it up even when you almost shit yourself. (If you’re a runner and this has never happened to you, I do not believe you. Even if you’re telling the truth, I need to think it’s universal, okay?).

Here’s the most horrible truth of all: it’s totally worth it, and you’re absolutely capable.

No-shut up. Seriously- shut up. Look at me when I’m speaking to you through your phone.

Running is depression’s kryptonite, the natural predator. It isn’t about speed or distance or your shoes or the app or the size of your ass or the Instagram post of the 5 K (I looked like shit in that photo anyways).

It isn’t about your ex or your future ex or whoever you fantasize about fantasizing about you. It’s easy to not care about that kind of thing in the moment. It’s never been enough to get in the habit of running in the past.

For me, running is about getting out of bed. It’s about changing clothes, listening to music and going outside. It’s about keeping a simple promise to myself, “today, if you do nothing else, you will run for a little bit”. Then you can go back to happily rotting, swearsies, cross your future heart disease and hope to die.

It’s not about anything else other than getting a little sunlight and telling yourself that at least you fucking tried. That it’s a literal positive step.

The best source of energy is purpose and hydration. The purpose is what keeps you going when fatigue trumps reason. But that’s something I learned later.

For right now, it’s all just baby steps. Getting up, changing your clothing, and going outside. You don’t even have to wash your hair. All joggers are filthy anyway (another lesson for another day).

If you already feel like shit, then you might as well feel like shit and get a little cardio. But that’s all I’m ever coaching because the rest is just my experiences. The things I’ve learned and steps I’ve taken (God, when did I become this person? It’s so embarrassing to have hope. I was so much cooler when I lacked muscle tone and cried all the time).

Running doesn’t cure anything, but it's helping me become the person who can heal myself a little easier.

It’s a tool that’s there for you, if you want it.

0 notes

motheyes · 2 years ago

Text

i’ve been accomplishing so much recently it’s a lot to process

#like. my name change #and turning 21 #and being on t and shots #and switching insurnace and all this stuff #like. i didn’t ever think these things could just happen #and you just. move on #it’s so. weird. like actually getting big adult things done #i morn when i didn’t have so much responsibility #but i love getting to have the freedom of self choice and independence #ugh my brain is thinking sm but i’m getting so sleepy #i was literally gunna jo… mmm #i am worked up. t be making it so easy for me to get worked up over Nothing… baby girl u crazy

2 notes · View notes

bittersweetmorality · 4 years ago

Note

can i please get a hawks hurt / comfort fix please 🥺🥺 like him waking up from a nightmare abt his childhood and u comforting him and cuddling him and making him feel better:)

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR THIS REQ IM GUNNA KISS U ON THE MOUTH ANON. YES !!! ugh hurt/comfort hawks is my biggest guilty pleasure bc i am one sad mf but i am a whore for hawks fluff . best of both worlds <3 also ! i'm so sorry it's short :(( 1,053 words is definitely short for my standards but ! i'm working on a lot of MHA stuff rn so keep an eye out ^_^

also this fic is definitely based off the song “First Day of my Life by Bright Eyes” cuz i listened to that song on REPEAT while writing this 😁🙏 definitely recommend listening to it while reading besties

— i love you more

☾ genre: hurt/comfort hawks fic !

☾ pairing: hawks x gn!s/o reader

☾ warnings: details of nightmares, heavy angst that pertains to emotional/physical abuse, cursing, just very sad and scared hawks :(

☾ w/c: 1,053

he was back in the dark living room— the one he was sure he escaped many years ago. the painfully familiar walls, despite the years of constant effort he put into repressing the memories. the memories of his father grabbing him by his neck with unrelenting strength, and thrusting him up against them, letting his breath ridden with alcohol and pure indifference fan against his cheek. the kind of indifference of a predator about to kill.

and all around him, no matter how much he sealed his eyes closed, covered his ears with all of his strength-- the retched smell of alcohol and his rotten memories were suffocating him.

why was he back here?

his heart began to race, feeling the way his fingers lost all heat and he felt his legs lose all bearings. his breathing an erratic, shaky pace, his eyes feeling cloudy from panic and pure fear as he scrambled through his dreadful surroundings in hopes of some sort of exit. but every step he took was completely useless. no matter how fast his legs moved, he still stood in the exact place he started.

he couldn’t escape.

footsteps could be heard echoing around him, getting louder and louder. it was haunting, like this moment was an exact replica of a night from many years ago. with his fixed position right in front of his father’s couch, and the weather of the night eerily quiet, as if the world was also terrified of the man slowly getting closer and closer to the helpless boy in the living room of a man who never loved him.

“keigo,” a gravely voice slurred from the other room, “keigo, fucking answer me. i know-- know you’re there.” he recognized it all-- the hiccup between his words, the genuine anger in his voice when he addressed him.

keigo blinked, and when he opened them again, his father appeared right in front of him, a large, half-drunk translucent bottle in hand.

"why the fuck didn't you respond? i fucking-- fucking called you, didn't i?" now that he was just mere centimeters from his ears, his voice sounded even more terrifying than his memory could ever bring justice.

his gaze followed the arm of his father that was holding the bottle, that was beginning to rise, and came straight down towards his head with pinpoint accuracy--

and keigo's eyes snapped open.

a thick sheen of cold sweat collected all over his shaking, trembling body. he wasn't able to identify his surroundings, his nightmare replaying itself with seemingly more lucidity than the first time. he still saw the haunting figure of his father at the foot of his bed, and as his breathing came in sharp, short breaths, he felt you sit up immediately.

you shot up from your slumber at the sound of keigo's sobbing, his knees pulled up to his chest, and his face buried between them as you saw his body shake violently. you've never seen him this unraveled; in this much pain.

"keigo? honey?" you softly called out, gently reaching out to him.

as your hand caressed him, you felt him tense under you for a split second, causing him to shoot up from his position to look at the source of the contact. as his eyes fell onto your gentle touch, he collapsed into you without thinking twice, holding onto you for dear life while you cradled him on instinct.

"hey... shh... baby, i'm here. you're safe. it's me, yeah? no one else is here except me and you," you shushed. you knew he occasionally suffered from devastating nightmares, and because of it, you were able to know exactly how to calm him down.

although his sobs didn't seem to subside much, you could feel the way he began to relax into you, as if he was aware that it really was you, not a part of his terrifying nightmare.

he knew you were always there for him.

you shifted from your upright sitting position into a lied down, comfortable spooning position, holding him against your chest while carefully stroking his hair. you waited until he had calmed down enough before trying to speak to him again.

"...nightmare," he mumbled against you.

"i figured, baby," you planted a soft kiss against his hair, "i've got you. you're safe."

he sniffled in response, nuzzling his face deeper into your embrace. you softly rubbed your palm over the expanse of his back to soothe him, and ultimately ground him-- remind him that this was the real world, not the nightmare.

"he was back." keigo shuddered.

you couldn't help the small droplets forming in the corners of your eyes, "honey... i'm so sorry. so... so sorry. i know how scary he is. but..." you took a deep breath,

"but he's not here. he's not back. god, i wish i could get rid of him inside your head like we were able to in reality. but right now, it's only me. me, and your comfy bed, and your comfy blanket, and your comfy pajamas, yeah?" you lifted his head up by his chin to make him look up at you as you spoke.

"yeah?" you repeated.

he slowly nodded.

"yeah, j-just you. and... and my comfy blanket..."

"mhm, your favorite blanket. the fluffy one you like to run your fingers across. why don't you try it right now, sweetheart?"

he took many deep breaths as he held the blanket close to him, running his fingers through it to remind himself that he was okay-- his father wasn't here, because the nightmare wasn't real.

the blanket was real. the calming lavender scent on the bedroom was real.

you were real.

he took one final deep breath, opening his eyes to look at you again. your face illuminated by the soft moonlight, perfectly casting your concerned, but gentle expression.

"thank you..."

you could barely hear the words that escaped his lips, but even so you knew how much he meant them.

"of course, keigo... i'll always be here. always. you know you always have me, and i'll be here to remind you no matter what."

he finally released all of the tension in his body, fully relaxing in your warm embrace.

"goodnight, sweetheart," you whispered, planting one final kiss.

"...i love you" he whispered back.

"i love you more."

masterlist

#keigo takami #hawks x reader #hawks x gn!reader #hawks x gender neutral reader #hawks x you #keigo takami x reader #keigo x reader #keigo fluff #mha fluff #mha hawks #mha angst #hawks angst #my hero academia #mha x reader #morality.reqs

342 notes · View notes

capricioussun · 3 years ago

Note

Bless your sweet heart and brain and please take care! As much as we love your content, don't get too stressed about it ok? *offers gentle headpats*

Ahdjdjs oh no worries!! Those are both a few weeks old! I’m still trying to be careful!! ignore the sun and moon thing I just posted okay? Okay

Honestly I’m not feeling pressured to post for the algorithm or followers or anything (though I do love y’all) it’s. Like. Everything in my life and my head is kinda cluttered atm (/lh) and drawing is like. The way I untangle things. It’s like this natural impulse I get often, and so not being able to has just been incredibly frustrating because the ideas just don’t stop and I have no way of getting them out! I’ve had writers block for like three years now so even writing them down is difficult and it’s not the same as even just being able to do a thumbnail of the pose or super vague idea, and so in turn, everything’s just getting more cluttered and tangled!! It’s been harder to focus, to work on other things, and it’s just…not being able to draw is like, affecting every aspect of my life!!

I really appreciate everyone sharing concern and support, sincerely, it means a lot, but like, it’s also a very internal issue. I don’t wanna stress anyone out by giving updates on how bad my hands doing and then turn around and post a doodle the next day, but it’s kinda like. I have to choose my battles a little or I’m gunna turn into a nervous wreck haha

De Quervain’s Tenosynovitis (I don’t even have to look up how to spell it anymore ugh) isn’t a particularly severe condition. Antagonizing it isn’t advised, certainly, and will only drag out the healing process, but it rounds back to the choosing my battles. I gotta sate the urge to draw at least a little bit every now and again, even if it does prolong the issue. Obviously, over half a year in, this isn’t gunna heal on its own, no matter how careful I am (barely using it + braced for 2, 3, nor 6 weeks has worked), and…it may even be tied to other health problems I won’t get into right now. At my appointment on the 2nd, I’m gunna find out if a steroid injection + pt is for me (which it hopefully will be) and if that still doesn’t work, then I’ll need a very minor surgery to relieve the inflammation (and still pt). All in all, it’s likely just gunna take a while to get back to normal no matter what, and if this turns into a chronic problem, then I’ll just have to find ways to work and live around it sooner or later!

I promise y’all, I’ve had health issues my whole life, I know how and when to balance things out for the most part, there is no need to worry, I am taking care of myself!! And I hope you are, too! Drink more water you heathens!!!

#sunny with clouds #medical tw #tw medical #clear sky sunset #skele-shipper

15 notes · View notes

skelanonymous · 4 years ago

Text

First - Killermare

Words - 3.1k

I decided I needed more happy Killermare, even though I’ve literally written a ton of it. I should write literally anybody else next…>_>

Killer entered into the kitchen with a tense back, casually perusing the fridge with a wince. He’d taken a hard hit on the side during the last fight with the Stars. Probably cracked something, but nothing was falling off so he didn’t bother too much with it. His determination would hold him together.

He grabbed the carton of milk and took a swig straight from the container.

“Other people use that you know.”

“Too bad for them.” Killer turned around to grin at Nightmare. He’d recently gotten into his Boss’s VERY good graces and no broken bones were going to keep him out of it. “Well if it isn’t small, dark, and Lovecraftian.” That got a chuckle, a rare thing to hear from Nightmare. It made his target soul ache something awful, hearing that cute sound and not being able to do anything with it, not nearly close enough to Nightmare to capitalize on the opportunity.

“As good with words as with a knife, hmmm?” Nightmare stood in his space, touching along his arm unconsciously. Killer tried to keep his mouth in check.

“I’m also pretty good with my hands.” God damn idiot brain, hitting on his fucking god level boss. There’s fucking with people and there’s shooting out of your league. He just smiled through it. “Whatcha need Boss?”

“I’m moving a wing of the library and needed an extra pair of hands.”

“And you knew how talented mine were, so you came right to me?” Killer slid the milk back into the refrigerator. He leaned back on his left side to keep from agitating the right, elbows on the counter, a picture of relaxation.

“Something like that.” Nightmare laughed again. Killer held in the pleased sigh, standing up, crossing his arms behind his head very delicately.

“I’m all yours Boss. Lead the way.”

They wandered down the hall directly towards the library, Killer keeping step just behind Nightmare, letting him stare all he wanted without being caught. Those strong thick tentacles swayed around his back, framing his ass for Killer to appreciate along the lengthy hallways. He rarely went over this way unless Night summoned him here.

Nightmare already cleared small sections away, stacks of meticulously organized books littering the floor. He gestured to a pile.

“Start here and work clockwise. I’ve laid it out to make it easy enough for you to do without me babysitting your progress.”

So began replacing them on the shelves. Killer hid the winces of pain from stooping and bending fairly well, silently moving until he hit a tiny snag. He reached up to place one on a tall shelf when he flinched into the wall.

His body hit the shelves and dislodged an avalanche onto his head. He almost moved away before one smashed into his cracked ribs.

"Son of a fucking bitch!

"Killer!" Nightmare raced over to unbury him. The tentacles made quick work of them, stacking haphazardly off of Killer’s winded form. His hands were on Killer’s forehead in an instant, checking for cracks, diligently looking over him after hearing the cry of pain. Killer groaned angrily when he was cleared off.

“Fucking Blue and his fucking blue attacks. Ugh.” Killer couldn’t sit up, pain still blossoming fresh in his chest. Night paused in looking him over.

“Were you wounded on the last mission?” His single eye penetrated his two, pinning him under it until he relented, grimacing with a gesture to his ribs he’d been carefully avoiding.

“Yeah. Stars got a good hit in on me. Was fine until the book hit it though.”

“Clearly not, considering you lost your usually impeccable balance!” Nightmare’s tentacles wrapped Killer up to get him standing without making him bend the wounded area. “Come with me. Healing magic is easiest when accompanied by intent, wrapping it will make it easier.” He grumbled and took off towards his room, Killer hobbling after to keep up.

Walking into Night’s room changed the mood. He suddenly felt out of place, surrounded by luxurious purples tones and dark wooden furniture. Night had gestured to the bed before wandering into his private bathroom.

His bed was comfortable. Killer’s nerves ruined any enjoyment of getting into Nightmare’s room, jittery from the moment he was directed to sit on the plush comforters. Nightmare returned with a roll of bandages and an unimpressed look.

“I thought you were smart enough to know how to care for yourself.” He moved in front of him. “Take off your jacket and t-shirt.”

Thankfully Night was too focused on unraveling the bandages and gathering antiseptic to see Killer’s face go red, suddenly very aware that he was in his boss’s room, said boss’s hands about to be on him after a request to undress. He pulled them off smooth and casual, but his grin practically cracked at the edges.

“What the hell?”

Night’s hands hovered over the cracked ribs, flinching back at the small break that Killer had dislodged from its setting.

“Yeah, it’s not great.”

“Killer!” Night growled at him. “Why didn’t you seek treatment before THIS?!” He gestured to the crumbled ends of the break from grinding against each other. “This is entirely fucking curable! It’s ridiculous you didn’t, at the very least, wrap this!” The growl travelled up his body, baring his teeth at him, tentacles cracking like whips at his back. Killer didn’t move, but his voice took on a nervous edge.

“I’m a dead man walking boss. I’ll just keep going forward until I can’t anymore.” Healing magic was taxing. All of them were terrible at it besides Nightmare, who never offered, only taking over when he was clearly needed. They never want to bother him to ask for it.

“I could’ve fixed this sooner.” Nightmare pinched the bone into place with a click. Killer gasped in pain. He wrapped it tightly, uncaring about Killer’s harsh pants while doing so.

“We only take it when you offer. None of us wanna annoy you.” Fuck, he was so falling out of Night’s good graces for this. After he worked so hard, some dumb break was gunna take him back to zero. He fisted the plush comforter. “Your time is important.”

“To whom, when you dust from accumulating injuries that I can’t see?”

“The multiverse I guess.”

“The multiverse doesn’t give a shit about me or my time. This is all I have.” Nightmare pinched his nasal crest after finishing. “You serve me, but I cannot do this alone. Your lives are valuable to me. I thought you, especially, would know this Killer."

"Why do ya say that?"

"Because of how important you are to me." Nightmare's hands grew warm with gathering magic, mending now that everything would heal correctly. "All of you are valuable, like the supporting beams holding the castle aloft, but you are more integral. You are the center pillar. As my right hand, as long as you stand, I have faith in my ability to recover. I believed you to be my most valuable asset, but if you’re going to just let yourself turn to dust, then I’ll-”

“No!” Killer’s soul snapped into a heart shape, eyelights flickering in time to meet Night’s inquisitive gaze. “I’m not dusting on you just like that.” He grabbed Night’s warm hands away, taking them up in front of his startled cyan face.

“K-Killer?” He brought them up and kissed the phalanges as one would do to their king.

“If you’ll continue as long as I am by your side, then I’ll remain with you until I die.” Killer’s sockets went half-lidded, struck by the emotion his inverted soul let in, his silly crush amplified ten-fold by Nightmare’s faith in him. He’d never seen his boss look so confused, eye wide and frantically searching Killer’s. “What’s wrong boss?”

“You-I’m...what’s-why all-”Killer’s hands had long since gained a mind of their own. He slid wordlessy off the bed into Night’s space, silencing him with a casual touch on the cheek, fondly caressing the bright greenish glow.

“Shouldn’t have told me I meant so much to ya cuz I’m gunna take that to heart.” Then he swooped down to kiss him.

Killer pressed their teeth together firmly, tilting their heads to line up for deepening the kiss. He relaxed into it, holding Nightmare close while getting a taste, slowly touching and teasing Night's tongue with playful flicks. He could feel the very hesitant kiss back before they parted for air.

"Feeling shy Nightmare? Don't worry. I'm bold enough for the both of us."

Killer laughed into the next one, leaning into it to force Night's response, groaning at the feel of the shy tongue in his own mouth. He could feel his small partner shaking in his arms when they broke apart.

"Killer…" It must've been awhile since Nightmare got with anyone to sound so needy.

"I'm here. Wanna have some fun Nightmare?" He whispered it into Night's ear, smiling at the trembling he could still feel against his ribs, lost in the heady feeling. Night devolved to breathy pants, which Killer dove into before he felt tentacles lay solidly against his chest to push him back.

"Killer, wait, I can't-I'm not prepared for this." Night's flushed face told a different story, but he didn't fancy being killed.

"I've got lots of patience. I'll just make you feel good until you are." Killer's mouth slid down to Night’s neck, sucking on the bone to the high pitched whines, sending all his thoughts south, ecto eager to form at the slightest provocation. His haze broke under the Night's firm push out of his space.

"Killer, stop."

His back connected with the bed, wincing from his still (though much less so) wounded bones. The rejection stung worse.

"Sorry boss." That HURT, knowing he'd fucked up pretty royally. God, he'd forced himself on Nightmare right after he'd been given a shred of attention. He was such a fucking idiot. "I'll keep my hands to myself." His eyelights poofed decisively. He almost couldn't bear to look at him, but he needed to see Nightmare's face at least once.

Night hadn't stopped shaking. His tentacles attempted to hide him from view, face fully blushing, head still tilted away from the fresh mark Killer had left, noises leaking unfiltered from his trembling body.

"S-s-sorry. I-I c-can't handle it-t. Too much." Killer grabbed his shirt and hoodie from where it lay beside him.

"I'll leave you be. Maybe annoy Horror or something, I don't know." Anything to not be here. Playing it off would make it easier to take, even if it meant no second chances with Night. He slid his clothes back on. "Come find me when you got the next mission lined up."

A tentacle wrapped around his ankle before he took the first step.

"Why are you leaving?" His voice was airy, light, breathless.

"I'm a dick, but not that much of one. I went too far, I'll give ya some space for a day." He shrugged, a drop of hate splashing on the floor. He'd describe his emotions as 'in shambles.'

"I don't want space. I just need a minute."

"I don't know Boss. Shouldn't rush that kind of thing." He could stomach taking advantage of people outside of this castle, but betraying the ones inside it, those who guarded his back and knew where he slept (and cared about but he'd never tell them that), it turned his mood sour. It ate at the pit of his stomach and it’d eat through him entirely if he didn’t get the fuck outta dodge.

"What thing?"

"Being assaulted, harassed, whatever you wanna call it. And being the person who forced themselves upon ya, don't think I should be here." He tugged at his ankle again, but Night hadn't relented.

"Killer, I didn't stop you because I didn't want it." He avoided Killer's eye roll.

"Uh-huh." Killer really didn't want to resort to cutting off the tentacle. It wouldn't hurt him, but it'd suck and prove he was an asshole, so he pulled harder. "Say I believed you. Then why?"

"Killer, I…" Nightmare looked like he wanted the carpet to swallow him. "I've never kissed anyone."

"...What?" He stopped struggling against his restraint. "There's no way. You're telling me, five hundred years of existing, and you hadn’t had your first kiss?"

"Yes." And Killer commited a cardinal sin without thinking.

"But Dream definit-" Is fucking Ink or Blue or Cross or all of them, he wanted to say, but Night was quicker.

"I am aware." Nightmare's glare was potent, but Killer's confusion was denser. "But he is lovable, unlike me."

"You're lovable." It slipped out in-between all the mental gymnastics. He wasn't sure he wasn't being fucked with still. "So you haven't…" How to phrase this delicately, he wondered. "...slept with anyone?"

"Killer, I haven't kissed anyone. Why the fuck would I have slept with someone?"

"You gotta know how unbelievable this is." Talking wouldn't reassure him, so Killer leaned down into Night's space again, stopping just shy of his teeth. "You're telling me that someone as fuckable as you's been ignored all this time?" Nightmare's single eye widened with the flush. Killer smoothed out his tone, dropping it low to hold him at the edge of his words. "Nice juicy peach you are, no one's tried to pluck you up? I can barely look without salivatin'." He lapped at his teeth, careful to keep his hands in safe places. He wanted to see how inexperienced Night really was without ruining his chances forever.

Nightmare's tentacles laid limp behind him, all the tremors coming from his real form, whose hands had raised to snatch at the shoulders of his hoodie, gripping tightly when he caved under the languid licks at his mouth by letting Killer in.

Patience led this one, Killer carefully taking over every inch of Night's mouth. The slower pace served to work up his partner faster. Nightmare's calmness abated, tentacles waking up to come and clutch at Killer's form, Night crawling onto him, transforming the kiss into a frenzy of desire that Killer surrendered to, as long as Night was leading the way. The tentacles touched plenty of hot spots, but he kept his own hands on innocent ground. Night's confidence could crumble under too much of a good thing.

"Take a breath, Nightlight." Night shivered against him after breaking apart, so much sensation his body was unaccustomed to. "I gotcha." Killer rubbed soothing circles into his back.

"I can see how that could escalate." Nightmare finally got out. It made him laugh.

"Yeah. It's pretty easy to get carried away." He kissed the top of his skull before laughing again. "You give handsy a whole new meaning though."

"Sorry." The sweet little monster in his arms barely resembled his boss, hiding his face by burrowing into Killer's chest.

"Don't be. It's pretty hot." His lewd grin made Night blush again.

"I would've thought my corruption would be the ugliest and most disgusting part of me." He punctuated it with said appendages undulating behind him.

"Boss, I just kissed the fuck outta you and I've never known you without it. Trust me, not a deterrent." Killer stroked down one to make Night's spine curl. "If you learn how to use ‘em right, they're pretty useful in the bedroom."

"Don't call me Boss when we're like this." Night whispered softly. His face caught between a glare and something soft, he was starting to come back to his senses.

"That might be too much power Nightlight." He grinned at the tiny glare. "How was your first kiss then?"

"Nice." Nightmare sighed as he sat up, unfurling all the aching limbs. The usual persona rebuilt itself. But now, Killer knew how easy the composure was to break. "I'd like to repeat it sometime."

"I'm all yours." He'd never get sick of that face if Night was willing to let him see it. They rose together from the floor, Night reestablishing the space between them.

"I'll have to talk to the others about not bringing injuries to me. Time spent on them is not time wasted." He straightened his sweater, presentable before opening the door. Killer choked the urge down to mess it up again. “The idea that you would’ve rather lost a rib than speak to me is absurd.”

"Yeah." They better not take his catch. Fuck them.

"I'm not going to kiss them Killer. The sour look is atrocious on you." Night's brow raised. Caught red handed. Killer laughed.

"Can you blame me? I know the kind of filthy degenerates who live here; I'm one of them. I don't want 'em to take a bite outta you." Subconsciously, he shook his sleeves to feel the weight of his multiple blades.

"You act as though there are many vying for my affection. People used to throw rocks at me for walking by their homes, and now they try to kill me. I'm not surrounded by suitors." He said this while walking down the hall towards the still upturned library. His strides were confident, power inherent is his manner, carried with a royal grace that Killer could only ape with minimal success. The only reason he wasn't swamped with competition was everyone had been too chickenshit to make a move.

"Ya also thought I wasn't interested and nothing has ever been less fucking true." He pushed his luck a little further, stepping in front of Nightmare to kiss him quickly. The chaste thing was almost too much considering the shakes. "I'll just keep doing it if ya don't say anything."

“We need to reassemble the library.” He huffed through, walking by with weak knees, Killer trailing just behind. “This wasn’t an invitation to touch me at all times.”

“Only some of the time then?”

“Shut up.” He humored the request once inside Night’s treasured library.

Back to quietly organizing, clockwise, his talented hands flipped them onto shelves with ease now that he wasn’t hindered by aches. It was quick and effortless like it should have been the first time. He’d begun humming by the time he placed the last one, not expecting the hand on his shoulder but welcoming it as he had earlier the same day. Night silently pressed something into his palm.

“I trust I don’t need to explain.” Killer’s fingers closed over the silver key, smiling and spinning it on his pointer while leaving the now neat library. Guess his league was a lot wider than he thought. It wasn’t an invitation to his bed, but the invitation to his heart was just as good.

“Gotcha loud and clear boss. See ya soon.”

They CUTE.

#story time #killermare #nightkiller #first kiss uwu #I got lots of feels

272 notes · View notes

thatharringrovehoe · 4 years ago

Text

Hargrove/Mayfield sibling headcanons because fuck the Duffer Brothers this could have been beautiful.

- Mad Max is super fucking protective of her big brother. Like you wouldn't know it at first but Max will 100% poison your coffee and then fake cry at your funeral if you fuck with Billy.

- Max knows Billy is gay because she's got eyes. Like, Billy likes to think he's slick but seriously? That shower scene with Steve is AFTER his asshole dad packed up their whole family to scare the "faggot" out of his son. So just imagine for me if you will a 15 year old Billy Hargrove with a crush. Jesus fucking Christ. Little Maxine takes one look at Billy and knows she's gotta cover for him. Kicks or pinches him whenever she sees him mooning over that cute senior from his school delivering their paper. Draws attention to herself when she can hear Billy stumble through his window in the middle of the night after being out on a date. She doesn't tell Billy which leads to some friction cuz why is she being such a little shit to him what the fuck. But then one morning he looks over at Max eating cereal and her eyes widen in horror. She smacks her bowl to the floor and runs off to the bathroom loudly exclaiming she's gonna throw up and Billy is so confused? Neil had been pouring his coffee but upon hearing Max retch in the bathroom just grimaces and quickly heads out the door to go to work early. When she hears Niels truck pull away she comes back out of the bathroom holding her mom's concealer and shoves it at Billy. Who is. Still very confused. Until she tells him that his boyfriend should be more careful about leaving marks. And in a panic Billy runs to the mirror in his room and lo and behold he has a dark red hickey at the base of his neck peaking up through the collar of his shirt. Billy could fucking cry with how much he loves her.

- Max hates when people touch her hair. Because it's such a vibrant shade of red she's had people just reaching out and grabbing it and asking if it's real her whole life. Billy is the ONLY ONE allowed to touch her hair to either brush or braid it. She won't even let her mom do it.

- Max knows the SECOND they pull up to Hawkins high that Billy is gunna get stupid over that boy with the tall hair and the expensive BMW. Calls it before Billy even looks at him. Clocks the exact second that he does because Billy's face goes soft and then hungry and Ugh gross going to school now not thinking about this BILLY PLEASE STOP YOU ARE EMBARRASSING ME.

- When Steve and Billy have their first fight Max finds her brother crying silently in his bedroom listening to Metallica. She crawls onto the bed with him and punches him on the shoulder. Tells him boys fucking such and Steve doesn't deserve him. Doesn't matter what the fight was about either. She's always going to be on Billy's side.

-Billy Hargrove is 100% still crazy. He's like a fucking bulldog if any boys even GLANCE at his sister cuz he knows what those little shits wants and like hell are they gunna touch Maxine. Not his little sister no sir.

- Max is actually cool with this because boys ain't shit. Till she meets Lucas.

- So she still sneaks out with him to the junkyard and Billy still pulls up to the Byers house ready to burn down all of Hawkins because Steve may be pretty but like hell does he trust this whole situation.

- But Max and Billy are closer in this. She comes outside before Steve can say a word, just grabs his hand and leads him inside with an expression that says *You know me. This isn't a fucking joke.* And shows him the demodog in the fridge.

- Billy gets roped into the upside down bullshit with them.

- Billy also really fucking hates Mike Wheeler. Like, listen you little asshole you talk to Max like that one more goddamn time I'm gunna feed you your fucking teeth. Dustin is scared but also thinks Billy is kind of cool for standing up for his family.

- Max is also a good wingman. Before Billy and Steve figure they're shit out Max will drop hints with Steve about how cool Billy is or how they should hang out cuz he needs friends his age after moving all the way from Cali. Like "Hey Billy really misses swimming. Heard you have heated pool. You should invite him over". And then just straight up gathering intel for Billy. Like what his favorite food is or the music he likes (which they are both disgusted by but Billy is obviously falling head over heels so Max will let it slide).

- Max gets her period on the way to the arcade and doesn't notice so she's super freaked out when as soon as she gets out of the car Billy grabs her and yanks her back in looking totally panicked. She demands to know what the fuck his problem is but all he says is they have to go home. She's super pissed until she gets home and goes to go to the bathroom and notices the blood. The blood that Billy is silently and discreetly cleaning of the leather seats right before he goes to pick up ice cream and ibuprofen because he is a good big brother. They never speak of it again.

- However her love for him is tested because Billy what the FUCK are you doing with Steve Harrington in your bedroom with our thin ass walls she can fucking hear you are you even trying to be quiet??! When she hears Neil and her mom pull up out front she grabs their attention long enough for Steve to sneak out Billy's window. Billy gives her like $50 for the arcade.

#shitbirds #Maxine Mayfield #Billy Hargrove #harringrove #billy hargrove/steve harrington #billy/steve #steve harrington #Billy and Max have a good sibling relationship #Billy Max is so sick of your shit go to Steve's house if you wanna bang #that hoe writes

142 notes · View notes