#these months are our busiest here tho
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motheyes · 1 year ago
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also i’m so sweaty i’m literally sitting outside
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ros3ybabe · 6 months ago
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Where Have I Been?
hello lovelies. so, I started the challenege, did one day, and all of a sudden I feel off the face of the earth. I fell into a bit of a depression, and while I've managed to pull myself out, life has been busy busy busy! This is probably the 2nd busiest week of the year (the 1st will be in August, and you'll find out why). Here's an update on life:
I fly to Colorado on the 16th, so....under 5 days now. I haven't packed or anything yet, but I plan on doing that either tomorrow or Thursday. And I have to clean and prepack for when I return because....
I signed a new lease for a new place to live! I'll have roommates who I haven't met yet (I'm taking over someone lease, actually), but my lease starts August 18th. I return from Colorado on the 14th of August, so....I'm going to be very busy once I return.
I decided to call it quits on getting a 2nd job. It's going to mess up the schedule with my first job, and it would only make me 200$ more a month, which I'm not worried about missing our on since I'll still sell stuff on depop once I return from Colorado and I'm going full time at my current job.
I've gone out to lunch with my dad a few times as well, it's been really nice hanging out with him and spending time with my dad. I lucked out in the dad department and spending time with him is one of my favorite things!
I've been debating going to San Fransisco in October for an XG concert, but I don't know if I'll have the money or ability to anymore. (thank you new apartment and all those fees and expenses!)
my anxiety has been terrible. I haven't changed anything about what I do, but I did squish a lot of anxiety inducing things into the span of two weeks, which....my bad on that. Now I know, don't do that to myself.
I bought new makeup! The juvias place bronzer, charlotte tillbury setting spray, nyx eyebrow stuff, and blush, ughhh I love buying new makeup, I just wish it didn't cost money!
I've gotten better at doing my makeup! I've had people not even notice I'm wearing it because it looks natural despite being like, a full face! Thank you perfect color matches on my skin tint, foundation, and concealors!
I went to two movies with a friend. We saw the new Strangers: Chapter One and the Planet of the Apes movie. Both were definitely good, in my opinion.
I now have to plan with my boyfriend for when he needs to come down here and get his stuff and work out changing the utilities to our roommates name since I'm leaving. I don't feel like it should be my job to coordinate that, but oh well. I guess it's too hard for him and his best friend (my roommate) to call each other for once?? Ugh, men get on my nerves sometimes.
I need to ask my dad and a friend to help me move upon my return, which also means I won't be able to work that weekend, which kind of sucks.
I need to declutter my room and start throwing away things I don't want or need anymore this week to make it easier on myself when I return from Colorado but hahaha I procrastinate a lot.
I'm stressed about paying rent. I'll have to pay rent for here and rent/fees for the new place before august and then September's rent for the new place, and my new rent is about double what I pay now. so yayy, adulting and finances. I don't feel qualified to be an adult, but here I am, age 21, an adult.
That's about it for now! Lots of stress, lots of anxiety, lots of stuff happening super close together. But that's life, I guess. Forgive me for my absence from my blogs. I also stopped studying spanish for now, and my routines are non-existent. Colorado will change that, tho, for sure. I do plan on updating a little more frequently once things settle down when I'm in Colorado. but for now, it'll be kinda here and there with my posting.
thank you for all the patience and kindness, lovelies. til next time 🩷
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sebstanismyspiritanimal · 6 months ago
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Guys I'm so sorry! I work in the funeral business and June is our busiest month I'm not even lying I have not done anything but sleep when I go home 😭.
However it looks like we might be settling down so I should be able to post more frequently 🤞
Here is chapter 8 and feel free to leave any comments, suggestions, or anything you would like to see in the story!
Here's chapter 7 if you missed it!
"Girls night!" Penelope came dancing into the bullpen, singing excitedly.
JJ, Emily, and Penelope had managed to rope Eddie into a girls night at Emily's apartment, the concession of location was made for Eddie based on the fact she was uncomfortable in bars.
The three agents were packing away their things to get a start on their evening, laughing at the blondes antics.
"Okay so I've got a spare room with a bed big enough for two, a couch, and an air mattress if needed."
Eddie looked up sheepishly, "Oh, I wasn't planning on staying, Pen. I was going to go home at the end of the night."
The girls gave each other quick looks of surprise, "I don't think that's a good idea, sugarplum. The idea of girls night is to get drunk! I will not be letting you drive home if you're drunk."
Spencer cut into the conversation quickly, noticing that Eddie was starting to raise her shoulders in defense.
"If Eddie does get too drunk to drive I'm on stand by to pick her up, Garcia."
At that all of the girls plus Derek, who was listening by his desk, raised their eyebrows in surprise. It was well known that Spencer only drove if necessary, and a girls night did not seem necessary to the others, unless they were missing something.
The girls let the matter drop and they all got packed up and left, each intending to go home and change and then head to Penelopes.
_________________________________________
"Sooo, Reid is your DD tonight?"
The girls were 2 cocktails in and the giggles were starting to come out full force, Emily spearheading the interrogation that Eddie knew she was in for.
"Yeah? He knows I have trouble sleeping in my own apartment let alone someone else's so he offered to pick me up if I can't drive." Eddie hoped that her clear and logical answer would deter the other agents, but of course she was wrong.
JJ's eyes lit up, "He knows your sleep problems? Eddie you dog!" That sent the rest of them cackling.
"Not like that you weirdo." Eddie rolled her eyes with a grin, "We live right next to each other and I've had some issues with nightmares lately, so he comes over a lot to help me."
"Oh I bet he does." Penelope gave a very lecherous look that send everyone, including Eddie into hysterics.
"Okay, okay seriously tho, what's going on with you two? Spencer likes to keep his distance from people, even us. I've never seen him open up to someone this fast." JJ asked her, looking hopeful, but also anxious for her friend.
Eddie stared at her drink for a moment in silence before looking at the others and giving them a very fake smile, "There's nothing going on. Spencer's been there for me a lot, but that's all it is."
The girls took in the obvious lie in silence, all of them deciding to let Eddie and Spencer deal with whatever this was themselves.
"Have you guys seen the new agent on floor 5? He's absolutely gorgeous!" Penelope broke the silence and got the night back on track for laughter and drinks effortlessly.
_________________________________________
Eddie folded herself into Spencer's car with a wide grin and hug that she flung around his neck.
"Spencer you came!" She shouted in his ear, making him wince away with a laugh.
"I said I was going to, didn't I?" He looked at his coworker fondly while she nodded contently.
"You did, but I'm still happy to see youuu." She stretched out that last word and slumped down in her seat.
Spencer let out a quiet laugh and started the drive back to their apartments.
"So you had a good first girls night?" He asked after Eddie had given up fidling with the radio.
"Yeahhh, Penny makes really strong drinks." Spencer glanced at the woman and had to quietly laugh at the serious head nod she was giving him.
They were silent for a few minutes until a fast guitar riff started playing over the radio and Eddie's eyes lit up.
"Oh my Godddd I love this song!" She yelled and turned the volume up loud enough that Spencer winced.
He couldn't help but laugh loudly when she started head banging to the beat, her curls flying wildly around her head.
The rest of the drive Eddie head banged and yelled along with the singer, making Spencer wish he could take a video at the same time as driving.
When they pulled in the parking lot Spencer moved around the car and helped steady the drunk agent as she stumbled out of the car.
They slowly walked arm in arm up to her apartment, Eddie giggling the whole time.
"What's so funny over there?" Spencer has to ask as he fished his keys out to open the door.
"I know how to play that song, I learned it in like 2 weeks." Spencer raised his eyebrows as he shouldered open the door.
"Play it? You mean like on guitar."
"Mhmm I learned when I was 15, it's a very metal song." She started humming under her breath, following Spencer as he went to the kitchen to get her a glass of water.
"I didn't know you could play." The genius glanced around the apartment but he knew he had never seen a guitar anywhere in the place.
Eddie stopped humming at that and looked at the glass in her hand sadly.
"I stopped playing the same day Uncle Wayne died. He taught me, you know, and after that night it felt tainted. Like the music I played didn't being to me anymore."
Spencer took one of Eddie's hands in his own, he got the sense that there was more to the story of the guitar and maybe even Wayne's death that Eddie wasn't telling him, but he knew from experience that Eddie was very tight lipped about anything that came before the BAU, even while drunk.
"How about we get you to bed?" He gently asked her, tucking some hair behind her ear.
Eddie nodded and seemed to fold into Spencer, letting him take the weight of her and slowly walk them to the bedroom.
Once she was changed and laying down Spencer sat next to her in bed.
"Do you want me to stay tonight or go?"
"Stay please." The sleepy mumble was accompanied by the covers lifting, letting Spencer ditch his jeans and slide under with her.
It took some moving around but once Eddie was comfortably in Spencer's arms, she started talking to him.
"I thought you didn't play anymore."
"I could play for you some time."
Eddie hummed and feel silent for a minute, Spencer thought she had fallen asleep when she started speaking again.
"I'd play again for you."
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squipy-shippy · 2 years ago
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Club Penguin hcs?
Saw post about your self ship with Cadence and love to hear some hcs!
Ofc any Club Penguin hcs are appreciated tho :3
:D oh boy an excuse to talk about my club penguin hc's party's editions!!!
Alright so as we know every month club penguin held this big old themed event!!! Some where one off some became tradition I imagine these were a big deal on the island like when the end of the month came closer you knew that's when to get excited!! So let's go over a few shall we
Disclaimer: these mostly will be about the party's from 2010-2014ish because that's when I was playing the most
Operation blackout:
Angst cw
Alright so we all know this event but In my little fantasy world it wasn't all sunshine well litterly. It was dark and the economy was in shambles a lot of panic attacks and fear I imagine myself wondering if this would be our new life a new way of living especially when penguins were risking their freedom for a chance of living again. Cadence being while not as important to Herbert as the EPF was still something Herbert wanted his paws on so Cadence and I had to basically stay as hidden as possible during these times because the more Mascots Herbert got his hands on the more power he'd get. One hc I have for this time is Cadence holding my flippers and looking me in the eyes and going "if I get frozen please don't cry I'll be okay I'll be here for you even if I'm gone" ...I should honestly write a short one shot about this moment ngl
Holiday party: ah yes the holiday party idk which one pacifically I wanna talk about because all of them are really similar ngl but all Having there differences I helped cadence with her holiday hit cool in the cold while struggling to skate as good as her I know we had a time where the skate rink was just to ourselves and after the caous of operation blackout it was nice to finnally feel safe with her by my side. If we are talking about the 2012 holiday party i know we would have small races with the rc cars! Oh oh also during this time cadence and I would always get gifts for each other one gift I'd probably get her is a stuffed purple puffle that plays music she likes!
Music jam: July was Cadence's busiest month as it was her time to really shine that being the music jam I'd follow along with her when I could mostly as backup but it was a lot of moving around a lot of everything tbh she allways made sure I wasn't that overwhelmed and let me go on my own of Course when I wanted to. Usually to go explore and such. I know she'd teach me how to do the dance moves and by the end it'd turn into a whole mess of laughter
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priestoctober99 · 14 days ago
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PONOS
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Sometimes I wonder if my work ethic makes me one of a Greek god. Ponos in fact.
Or maybe I could just be a narcissist and think of myself above others when they don’t meet my expectations. I’ve been in therapy for 8 months now and haven’t been diagnosed as a narcissist but I’ll be damned if I don’t feel like one sometimes.
How come I expect everybody I work with to put in the exact amount of work as I do to get the same results. Why is it that I get so disappointed and annoyed when my expectations don’t go the way it should be. In fact I think right about now that’s the biggest obstacle in me managing my anger! ( which I have done a good job at lately.)
For instance, today at work, Monday, our busiest day of the week, we are already short staffed and an older woman wants to leave to go home early. Why are you telling me this as soon as I come through the door to clock in? Why are you leaving early on our busiest day? Why didn’t you text me this so I could have some sort of mental preparation. And you could say “Now Priest! Did you let her know to let you know that if things come up for her to contact you?” No. No I did not and I know that’s the rational thing but damn it let me be mad! This is my page! You’ve seen me at all my other emotion! Let me be upset for once!
I absolutely hate last minute changes. It drives me crazy. But maybe I’m still working on lowering my expectations and not getting upset about things I can’t control or not actually happening to begin with. Everybody has a movie of the future in their heads, an idea of how the future will go if we plan it. But things don’t always happen that way so why does it hurt so badly when it doesn’t, why does it absolutely piss me off that people can’t be on the same level as me sometimes.
I exhale as I type this next part.
It’s because we all have something going on and I need to work on being more understanding and not as controlling over everybody. I love being head honcho so much that shit makes me exhausted. I’m not saying I’m gonna start lowering my expectations for people…..but I am lowkey gonna start doing that. NOT NEGATIVELY…..just for my own wellbeing. But how does one do this without not thinking they’re better than others? Something I’ll have to discuss with Tiffany, my therapist. That’s her name.
Lately I feel as if I’ve been making a string of negative posts on here and for that I apologize, I’ll shake sum into happiness here soon but as of right now I’m doing my best.
Drumming is going good, I’m learning how to produce. I’ll still in therapy. Caught up now? Good. Have a good day and remember the world doesn’t revolve around you. ( even tho it’s so sweet when it feels like it does.)
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chittsu · 5 years ago
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college!au with Lucas
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HARO EVLYONE!
it happened again. I did that. another college au is here and again, I hurt myself while writing this…��� Lucas is so powerful, man… you’ll see how whipped I am below…
college!au; fluff c’mon it’s about this giant dork expect to sink in the feels sea; bulleted scenario; drinking game: take a shot every time you read the word ‘man’; 7161 words good lord thankfully it’s not over 9k or I’d be scared; LUCAS IS THE BEST BOY
summary: you might think that you have feelings for another boy, but when Lucas starts working with you, you quickly realize that you could be wrong about the perfect boy for you,,, or should I say,,, you are wong ;)
enjoy! :)
Lucas is popular at your university
he’s hard to miss with that height and that face and those muscles and this smile and that laugh
okay I think you get the point
he’s probably the most handsome guy on the campus and thanks to that, you can rarely see him without someone hanging on his neck
the fact that he’s a transfer student that can’t speak the language here too well is even better because - he speaks less = he seems more mysterious and that’s apparently what ladies like
on top of that, he’s just so positive? no one has ever seen this man sad or angry, he’s always smiling and talking to strangers as if they were his best friends 
he knows almost everyone and has lots of friends everywhere; whenever he appears on the campus he can’t go 5 meters without someone waving at him
or when he laughs loudly at Winwin’s joke, 20 people in the corridor laugh with him
he has some great achievements as a swimmer; he’s probably the most popular member of the uni’s swimming team thanks to all those fangirls dying to see him without his shirt on and with wet strands of his hair sticking to his forehead
he focuses mostly on the sport, as he got in this university thanks to a sport scholarship and he takes pride in it
and you’ve never expected yourself to interact with him but the moment he walks into your life (and steps on it but wait for that) is when he starts working with you
you’re a bartender at a club popular amongst students; you’ve been working there for a few months now and you feel pretty stable at this job
sometimes it’s hard to simultaneously study and work, but you need to earn money to pay your rent and be independent
the first time he shows up at work is already intense
he seems to walk in slow-motion, his bangs falling softly on his forehead before he pushes them back with his long fingers
he then waves at your manager and smiles at him, showing his perfect teeth
you stare at him but you can’t even blame yourself for that; this boy is glowing, everything about his is so eye-catching - it’s literally like a world-class actor came in
when his eyes land on you, your breath hitches
you start cleaning the bar eagerly because you should at least pretend to be working right
and that’s weird - you’re usually confident in yourself
but, I’ll say it again, Lucas is like a god so that’s fair
as every good k-drama goes, your manager tells you that the two of you will now work together and since you have more experience, you should help Lucas a lot at first
‘sounds like I just got promoted’
'I won’t pay you more if that’s what you’re thinking’
you force a smile and when he turns away from you to look at Lucas again, you roll your eyes HARD, earning an amused look from Lucas
after they talk about, what you suppose are some organization matters, Lucas joins you behind the bar
'I hope we will work together well’ he says, smiling at you confidently; you can imagine that he uses this smile as his weapon
'if you don’t change your clothes, I don’t think that’s possible’ you shrug, not giving him the reaction he usually gets
'y/n… behave please’
you roll your eyes at your boss again
'okay, follow me, I’ll show you where you can change’
you throw the cloth on the bar and go to the back of the club, not even checking if Lucas follows you; you show him his locker and give him the clothes he needs to wear and he even starts to take off his T-shirt before you leave the room like he doesn’t care
you RUN to the bar again and continue cleaning it; Lucas reappears pretty quickly wearing his bartender uniform; by that I mean, black buttoned shirt with black pants and a black apron
you can’t help but check him out when he finally meets you at the bar; the curves of his lips go up automatically like he knows that you know that he knows that he looks good
you love and hate that smugness of his; come on, with that face you’re pretty much prepared for him to be a jerk
you put on your best professional face
'so as you may know, I’m y/n. I’m supposed to teach you stuff but honestly, I don’t even know what I’m doing here so it might be difficult’
'sounds great’
’ … just, make the orders and keep the place clean. if there’s a problem-’
'then I’ll just smile and everything will be okay’
he shoots finger guns at you and you raise your eyebrows; he laughs loudly soon after, covering his mouth with his hand
'that might work tho’ you admit defeated
'on you?’ he asks eagerly, the spark in his eyes reminding you of a child getting Christmas presents; you’re about to discover that he always looks like this
'don’t even think about it but our boss seemed quite whipped if you ask me. NOW-…’
okay, let’s be real here
Lucas is kinda used to people throwing themselves at him wherever he goes; that’s the price he has to pay for being this attractive
and as much as he doesn’t want to take advantage of this, he’s quite self-confident
so when he finds out that he’ll be working with you, there’s this thought that this job might be easier than he expected; everyone would try to help him out as much as they can, right? which means, he wouldn’t need to try too hard
and he’s actually relieved to discover that it’s not the case with you
you don’t treat him like everyone else does
you jump right straight to the work, showing him some of the recipes and you actually expect him to do well; but luckily, he’s ambitious and he wants to be good at this job so he lets you see the focused and serious side of him
that makes you change your mind about him as well; you were expecting him to be lazy and not interested in this job unless it’s about flirting with the customers but you’re wrong about that
you start talking and you find out the reason for him taking this job
apparently, he doesn’t want to be a burden for his parents and wants to start living more independently; also, he has his hobbies and he wants to be able to spend his own money on them
you’re surprised at how hard he works on his first day; he obeys everything you say, he’s careful about the recipes and even though he might not be fast and making them yet, he tries to learn them by heart; also, it’s nice to have a strong colleague that lifts heavy boxes with so much ease
but well, the girls start to go insane very quickly
when they notice that he’s the bartender, you get a crazy amount of orders and it’s honestly one of the busiest nights you’ve ever worked on
Lucas sends multiple apologetic looks your way when he sees how fast you have to move because of him
he tries to keep up as much as he can, but the girls just keep on talking to him and ask him questions and there are just so many things he has to do at the same time that he feels like he’s going to go mad very soon
BUT in the midtime, your tip jar is getting fuller and fuller with every minute and it’s the first time you’ve seen something like this
and even if Lucas makes a mistake and gives a wrong drink to the wrong person, no one even cares
the relief you feel when you can finally change out of your uniform after the night = indescribable
you’ve just finished changing when Lucas comes into the staff room, the tip jar in his big hands; his eyes are bigger than usual and he’s not even smiling which you find incredibly disturbing
'hey, y/n… that was crazy, right’
'crazy? bro, I can’t feel my legs' 
'I know, I feel guilty about all of this so and I couldn’t even help you as much as I wanted to… so take this’
you eye the tip jar that he holds up your way, then his face again, then the tip jar again
'I can’t take this, we both worked for it’
'it’s not fair, I didn’t do as much as you’
'well, if you weren’t there I wouldn’t even get a single coin’
'just take this y/n, don’t make it harder’
'I’m NOT taking this’
'OKAY THEN, what do you think about that. let’s take the money and eat something really good together’
you furrow your eyebrows at him and your stomach growls with hunger as you couldn’t even go on a break because of the amount of work
'so it’s settled’ he smiles widely, putting the jar on the table before starting to unbutton his shirt
'okay but CAN YOU STOP UNDRESSING WHEN I’M IN THE SAME ROOM’
anyways, that evening you go to get the biggest pizza available because 1. Lucas eats A LOT 2. you eat a lot as well
and that’s the moment when you decide that you were completely wrong about Lucas; he’s such a fun guy to be with, talking with him is so easy and also dangerous because eating and laughing this hard at the same time is life-threatening
the first day of working with Lucas ends with both of you smiling brightly as you wave at each other before parting ways and you’re excited for more
what he likes the most about you is how unfiltered you are, how real and genuine you act with him compared to everyone else that pretends to be someone else just to catch his attention 
while you, you’re clumsy. weird. chaotic even.
he still remembers how hard he laughed at you when you slipped on the wet floor which you’d just washed
but he also remembers how hard YOU laughed then, you were unable to stand straight as your body kept shaking with laughter and he decided to come and help you up but guess what? he slipped too
and your boss found both of you laying on the wet floor, roaring with laughter 
that was probably the best icebreaker for you
ever since that unlucky incident, you find yourself smiling at Lucas more and more, even when he just asks you if you ran out of tequila
but he’s like that too; he can’t wipe the smile off his face and he constantly chuckles and giggles and whenever the two of you talk, you both radiate such positive energy
the moment Lucas shares his favourite memes with you is the moment you just know this friendship is real
when it’s one of those Tuesday shifts that you actually like since not many people visit the club then, you and Lucas can chill; usually, you either study or, well, look at memes
or watch something on netflix under the bar on Lucas’ phone since it’s as big as your laptop, sharing earphones casually; sometimes you just want to watch it peacefully but he keeps on pausing just to throw in some joke or comment that makes no sense but even then, his goofy face still makes you smile
he still flirts jokingly but you’re used to it
'can you take this outside Lu’
'okay but will you go out with me’
'I told you it doesn’t work with me’
'that’s why I like you’ and he shoots finger guns at you
he’s also extremely caring and protective; when you show up to work looking terrible as you haven’t slept in 2 days, he makes you go and take a nap in the staff room while he covers for you
or once, when an old man starts saying some nasty stuff to you, he just appears in front of you, blocking your view completely with his wide back and you’ve never seen him this serious
he stares at the guy dangerously and says 'I would like you to leave the club now sir’
and when the man argues and threatens to complain to the manager, Lucas just hits the bar with his fist so hard that the whole club shakes, making the man run away instantly
but when he turns to face you, his face is calm and bright again
'are you okay?’
he can be so cute also
you once find him studying something at work, under the bar and you’re like ! he’s ambitious
and since you know the topic pretty well, you offer help
you meet in the library and he randomly shouts EUREKA or AHA! when he understands something making everyone jop
and you’re like.. okay so that’s the last time we came here together
and when you meet in the corridor on campus, he waves like crazy your way, his face so so bright and so happy it almost gives you butterflies
sometimes, after you finish work, Lucas watches you disappear in a crowd wondering why you’re not attracted to him
it’s not that he wants you to; he likes this friendship and he finds you unique because of the way you act around him and whatever you two have is important to him
but he can’t help feeling slightly�� disappointed?
there’s something Lucas doesn’t know about you yet
you have something going on with Jaehyun
and something is the essential word here
Jaehyun is known for being scared of commitment and for months you’ve been seeing each other without putting a label on it… but the situation exhausts you and makes you feel bad
you knew how he was yet still you developed feelings; how embarrassing is that, to get upset over a boy the way you do sometimes
you see him with other girls and you can’t do anything about it because, he’s not yours
you can go weeks without messaging each other, seeing each other and sometimes you even get used to your life when he’s not in it
but somehow, he always finds the moment when you’re ready to let him go and asks you to meet him
usually, it’s when no other naive girl wants to meet up with him
and somehow, you still fall into the trap
Lucas finds out about you and Jaehyun one time when he accidentally hears you talking
since Jaehyun is a member of a band that plays gigs at the club every weekend, Lucas never paid attention to how much time you actually spend talking to him - he thought it was natural, you knew each other well and worked at the same place
but he should have paid attention to how you talk with him
you just seem different whenever you’re near Jaehyun; you’re much calmer, much more graceful, either curling your hair on your finger or playing with the material of his jacket’s sleeve
so after Jaehyun leaves, Lucas approaches you with his eyebrows furrowed and you welcome him with a smile
'who was that’
’… Jaehyun, you know him’
'no, I mean that girl talking to him’
you lift your chin confused, your eyebrows furrowed now as well
’… I was the only one talking to him’
'that?? that wasn’t you, you didn’t snort even ONCE’
and then you, well, snort unwillingly and he just throws up his hands basically yelling 'SEE’
'come on Lu, don’t be dramatic. that’s what people do when they like someone’
'oh, pretend? I don’t do that’
you roll your eyes at him, finding the way he reacts a little exaggerated but you also don’t know how to deal with him when he’s like that
'well, not everyone’s perfect like you, Xuxi’
'listen, it’s not okay man. you’re a great person, you’re funny and smart. why would you pretend to be different? this guy doesn’t know it yet but he’s missing out man’
you blink a few times, your eyes not leaving his serious face; his chocolate eyes and pouty lips; the warmth that spreads in your body makes you feel a little uneasy and the only thing you can say now is 
’… bro’
he swallows suddenly and diverts his gaze towards the exit before it lands on you again; his perfect smile back on his face now
‘want me to drive you home after?’
'HELL YEAH but quick question, will we survive this?’
'just look at me’
and he turns around in, what seems like, slow motion and when your eyes meet again, his playful smile has already changed into his charming, lady-killer smile
'do I look dead to you’
'did I really have to check you out to make this judgement’
'that was a bonus’
and he winks
you hit his chest with your fist, which was a stupid idea because his chest is way harder than you expected it to be, earning a laugh from him
he doesn’t know it yet, but what he said really moved you; you just suck at expressing your gratitude 
anyways, after work you stand together in front of the exit, watching his big, black motorcycle 
he zips up his leather jacket, his face so smug and so confident that you almost want to push him; he side-eyes you, the longer strands of his black hair meeting his forehead, giving him some retro charm
'you’re not scared, are you?’
'me? scared? very unlikely’
'I was just judging by the way you’re squeezing your purse now’
your knuckles are white now and your ears are starting to get red; you press your lips into a straight line from embarrassment and Lucas, again, chuckles
he offers you the helmet, his voice calmer and deeper when he speaks
'I’ll drive slowly. don’t worry, you’re safe with me’
you look up at him, your eyes reflecting the street lights and Lucas’ smile fades; he clears his throat before putting the helmet on your head, a little too suddenly
before you can put it on properly, Lucas is already sitting on the motorcycle; he pats the place behind him
'Lucas, if we end up dead, I’LL KILL YOU’
he shakes with laughter and your face brightens proudly; you sit just behind him, letting your hands wrap around his waist… in a completely friendly, don’t-want-to-get-killed way
'hold on tight, m'lady’
Lucas adds so much excitement to your life; you never expected yourself to be excited to go to work as you do recently or to watch bad movies just to make fun of them with him
and look at you know, you’re riding a motorcycle with him; your cheek pressed to his back, your hair blowing in the wind, with the stupidest grin on your face, doing something you’ve never thought you’d do
Lucas enjoys it as much as you do; the smile is playing on his lips whenever he feels your hands grabbing on the material of his leather jacket
it almost ends too quickly for you
'we’re here ma'am’
'what? already?’
'oh, look at you! weren’t you pissing your pants before?’
you slap his back jokingly before focusing on taking off your helmet; he watches you above his arm and your gaze stops on his side profile for a little too long
'thanks for not getting us killed’ you say, your feet finally landing on the ground 'be careful on your way home’
he waves at you, his lips spreading in a big, warm smile and he watches you until he’s sure that you made it to your block safely
because you’re so focused on Lucas, you almost forget about Jaehyun; he hasn’t messaged you in some time and when he shows up at the bar, you’re either busy with work or talking to Lucas and you don’t even know that it irks Jaehyun a lot
one Saturday, he comes up to your bar, leaving the rest of his bandmates at their usual table; the way he looks at you makes you nervous already, but since Lucas is at the back of the club, you have to serve him
'what can I get for you?’
'are you and Lucas a thing now?’
you smirk, grabbing a glass to clean it; his eyes are so intense you can’t look into them
'why, does it bother you?’
'of course it bothers me, the girl I’ve been seeing is constantly with another guy now’
'so that’s the problem? I’m the problem here? we’re not even a couple Jaehyun, and you’re the reason for it’
'well, I guess you don’t even care about it now that you have Lucas, huh?’
'and it’s you telling me that? you meet a different girl every week’
'well, at least I change them and Lucas? he’s always around you, it’s been like that for months now and it makes me look like an idiot’
'are you for real now? are you drunk?’
'it’s not something you should care about anymore, y/n’
and he pushes his body off the bar and joins his bandmates again with long, angry strides; only after he’s out of your sight, you let your body shake with the emotions and nerves
'Y/N DID YOU SEE WE HAVE A MOUSE NO- wait’
Lucas stumbles into the club but stops abruptly, seeing you dead serious like this; his whole face falls and he appears next to you in no time, his hands rubbing your shoulders to calm you down
'hey hey hey, what’s wrong?’
'I… I need to go outside for a bit, okay?’
he just nods his face but his lips become pouty which expresses how worried he is about you now; he looks around, trying to find a sign of what could have happened and when his eyes meet Jaehyun’s, he knows
he takes off his apron and leaves it at the bar, making his way to Jaehyun; he seems unstoppable
'oh, there he is. how is it going with y/n?’ Jaehyun asks, sitting more comfortably in his seat
'listen’ Lucas starts, his voice so dark that Jaehyun stops smirking immediately 'be careful around her, she doesn’t deserve your shit. if I see her hurt one more time because of you, we’ll have a big problem here’
and not giving him the time to respond, Lucas goes back to work
he can sense that you don’t want to talk about it, so when you come back to the club, he changes the topic and keeps you distracted
only when you’re cleaning the bar as the last task of that night, he says 'you know what, let’s go to a party! Yuta is throwing one on Friday’
'bro, I’m not invited’
'because he knew you’d come with me’ he shrugs, sending you one of the winks that you roll your eyes at
you sigh, cleaning the bar quicker now 'I don’t think I want to go’
'I checked my sources, he who shall not be named won’t be there’
your eyes travel to his completely calm and unfazed face; his eyebrows quirk up as if he’s asking what’s wrong
'did you really ask around for that’
'yeah’
he just shrugs, as it’s a normal thing but you’re once again overwhelmed with his caring nature and you have the urge to hug him now that you resist
'bad news tho, we’re working on Friday’
he puts his hand out in front of your face and smirk, before pointing at himself
'fear not m'lady, this face will get you anything’
and you just, scrunch your whole face from the cheesiness and reach to his cheek, squeezing it like he’s a baby
however, he was right
it’s a miracle but he manages to convince your boss to give you a day off and even if you don’t want to, you just have to go to the party now
Lucas feels responsible for you and he even picks you up from your apartment and drives you there
he tries to spend as much time with you as he can, but you get reminded of how popular he is and how many friends he has; every time he finds you and chats with you, there’s someone dragging him away from you
and usually it’s a girl trying to get him to dance with him; he’s too nice to decline most of the time, but even when he’s dancing with someone else, his eyes always find you
you stick to your group of friends but something’s wrong with your mood today; you just watch all of the couples - like Taeyong with his girlfriend slow-dancing to an upbeat song like nothing matters, their eyes not leaving each other for even a second - or especially your best friend with Taeil who you used to have a big crush on before, and your mind seems blocked 
you spend most of the time with Hyuck and his date and they’re so fun to be with, you’re laughing a lot whenever you with them but you just have to leave them alone when you see how Hyuck looks at her as if he wants to kiss her so badly
you find your oasis in the bathroom
sitting in the bathtub with the door closed never seemed so relaxing; you take a few deep breaths and check your phone, finding no new messages but you look at cute dog pics so it’s fine
then, you see Lucas’ name on the screen; he’s asking where you are so you tell him
he joins you in the bathroom soon; he locks the door after coming in, and he takes in your current state; you also take in how handsome he looks with his dark hair pushed back with gel and his shirt fitting his body perfectly
'did you drink a lot? why are you hiding here?’
'no, I guess I’m just not in the mood for a party’
he exhales, letting his body rest on the edge of the bathtub
'sorry, I shouldn’t have made you come here if you didn’t want to’
'no Lu, it’s fine. the idea was great, it’s just that there’s something wrong with me apparently’
'what do you mean?’
you catch his gaze and you sigh, feeling stupid immediately; you prop your head on your head
 'is it… because of him?’
'I don’t know anymore. the worst thing is that I knew it was gonna be like that with him and yet I still went with it’
'why?’
'I guess I just wanted to feel how it is to be loved without getting too serious, too real. it’s scary’
'you deserve to be loved for real, y/n’
he falls silent, turning his gaze away from you to be able to think straight; you watch his side profile closely, your eyes taking in every inch of his skin
'why don’t you have anyone tho? there are queues asking for your number in the club every night’
'I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’m childish’
your forehead wrinkles, your gaze getting so intense that Lucas senses the way you look at him and returns the look
'yes, you’re goofy and childish sometimes but you’re so much more than that, Lu. you’re so positive, warm, caring and smart. you make me smile so much, do you even realize that?’
you watch his Adam’s apple moving when he gulps, his lips parting when he comes up with the response
'would you date me then?’
the atmosphere is so intense that for a moment there, you think he’s actually genuine about it; after a while, you let yourself smirk
'bro why do you keep asking this joke is getting old’
'I’m just waiting for you to change your answer’
you’re almost unable to hear this as someone starts knocking on the door loudly and screaming to open up
but you do hear it
Lucas takes your hand in his to help you up from the bathtub
when you’re out of the bathroom, you go straight to the kitchen to grab a drink, not expecting to see Jaehyun there
but for some reason, your heart doesn’t jump in your chest at his sight
he eyes Lucas who’s standing behind you; the corner of his lips lifts up in an ironic smile
'can I see you alone y/n, or are you dragging him with you everywhere nowadays?’
'don’t start, Jaehyun’
you’re surprised to see Lucas this tense; it’s like he’s sending daggers Jaehyun’s way and Jaehyun doesn’t back out in that battle as well
he comes closer to Lucas and looks him in the eyes
'isn’t it difficult to like someone who doesn’t like you back? you must be hurt whenever you see y/n with me, huh?’
and Lucas can’t take this anymore
he pushes Jaehyun powerfully; his body lands on the kitchen counter and before you can apprehend the situation, Lucas punches Jaehyun and they start fighting right before your eyes
thanks to Johnny and Yuta, you’re able to pull them away from each other but their fierce gazes and shaky breaths imply that they might jump to each other throats anytime again
you put your hand on Lucas’ shoulder to get his attention; he rips his gaze off Jaehyun just to see your big eyes and his body melts
you take in the sight of his face expression changing so quickly when he meets your eyes; something in your chest rises when you see his lip bleeding
'let’s go, okay?’
you apologize to Yuta and everyone who witnessed this before going out of the house with Lucas right behind you
‘y/n, I’m sorry, they said he wouldn’t be there and-’
you stop next to his motorcycle and he halts too
'why did you fight with him? are you really this dumb Lucas? you could have pulled a muscle, what about your competition next week?’
you don’t notice the way his face softens immediately
'is it really something you worry about? aren’t you curious if he’s okay?’
you just let out a big sigh before bringing you fingers to the blood on his lips; he hisses with pain
but when he looks down on you, the both of you freeze; your index finger brushes against the skin on his cheek, and you don’t even realize it; his face moves towards your palm, wanting to feel your warmth and he doesn’t realize it as well
you take your hand away from him
'can you… take me home?’
the next time you meet at work, it’s another busy night for you two and you forget about everything that happened on the party because,, there’s just,, so,, much,, to do
well, you don’t exactly forget about what happened - it just seems like both of you ignore it
around 3 AM, it finally starts to get a bit calmer and you’re even able to go to the bathroom
you leave your phone on the bar and excuse yourself
and Lucas really doesn’t want to do it, but when you get a text, his eyes travel to your phone automatically
and when he sees Jaehyun’s name there, he takes the phone in his hands
he can’t believe his eyes, seeing how Jaehyun wants you to meet him again
he’s about to throw a fit, he wants to go out and find Jaehyun and punch him again right now but then
'what do you think you’re doing’
Lucas turns around quickly, exposing himself with your phone in his hand; you furrow your eyebrows, he gulps
'I’m sorry, it’s not like that, I just-’
you snatch your phone from his hand; your gaze stays focused on the words that Jaehyun sent and you don’t move
'y/n, I’m sorry. I just have enough of this dude and I don’t want you involved with him’
'why? why are you so protective?
'he keeps on hurting you and you let him, if I need to fight him again to change this then I will’
'it’s still my choice to make, you have no right to look through my messages like this’
'I feel stupid, I’ll never do it again, just…’ his eyes travel all around the room before he manages to let it out 
'please, don’t meet him’
your shoulders drop at the sight of him like this, so vulnerable and worried; he plays with his fingers waiting for your response anxiously and your heart sinks
you delete the message from Jaehyun and put your phone in your pocket; you speak after gulping heavily
'I won’t meet him’
'you won’t?’
'it’s time to stop being naive. you’re right. I deserve to be loved’
one of the corners of his lips lifts and his mouth stretch into a wide grin; his hand finds its way to your hair and he ruffles them softly
'I’m relieved now’
'Lu, was he right then? is that why you punched him?’
Lucas stops, blinking a few times before he finally understands; he expects to see the disappointment in your eyes but when he doesn’t, it gives him the courage to speak
'I… I care about you, okay? and I don’t want to see you cry. I don’t want you near Jaehyun. I don’t want you sad, hurt or sick man’
his lips, again, get all pouty and his big, round eyes look straight into yours; this time, you welcome the heavy feeling in your chest gladly 
you stretch your hands towards him; he puts his hand on the back of your head and brings your face to his chest, your whole body fitting perfectly with his in a hug
his hands travel up and down your back and you press your body even closer to his to get more of his warmth
you feel him kissing the top of your head before he pulls away from you and for a second your heart seems so close to exploding
'now, m'lady, it’s time to clean!’
'no, Lu, do it alone, I’ll pay you’
‘you can’t afford me’
and like that, all the tension disappears; you and Lucas go back to what you had before and act like the bestest of friends at work but also on the campus
you help him study at his dorm, getting to know his friends better but they also visit you two at the club and sometimes, you and Lucas don’t have the time to talk alone even
you go out to eat regularly after work thanks to the tips Lucas still gets
and you even go to his swimming practises to cheer him on,,, you also see him shirtless and suddenly you don’t mind him changing next to you in the staff room
you also cut things with Jaehyun completely; he seems sincere when he apologizes to you and you know that deep inside, he isn’t that bad
but he’s bad for you
and there’s someone so much better right next to you, someone that you would trust with anything - also your heart
you watch Lucas swim across the swimming pool, you two are the only ones there at the moment
when he finishes, he throws his arms in the air and yells 'YEAAH!’ as if he won the Olympics or something
and you laugh at him, shaking his head
he comes out of the water, drying his hair with a towel messily; he then hangs it on his shoulder and sits at the edge of the swimming pool next to you
'was I cool’
'yeah, but then you screamed’
'I just can’t keep the emotions inside man’
you look at him with your eyes smiling and he shrugs smugly
'you know, you haven’t asked me if I wanted to go out with you for a while now’
'you told me to stop joking like this and you know I’m obedient’ his hand travels to his ear that filled up with water
'the answer might have changed’
Lucas stops; he tilts his hand and presses his lips together, waiting for you to continue; you look down on your hands before speaking up again
'I know, it’s sudden and it makes no sense but I love spending time with you. you make me feel so important and with you, I can’t stop smiling… I just want you to know that I think I like you’
his expression doesn’t change, he’s still serious and he tries to find out if you’re honest by looking into your eyes
'only after meeting you, I realised that whatever feelings I had for Jaehyun, they weren’t real. he has never made me feel the same way I feel when I’m with you and I needed some time to realise that, but I finally did’
he brushes the hair from your face, a smug smile appearing on his face
'will you go out with me then?’
your nose scrunches when you laugh and you get overwhelmed when you feel his fingers tracing the skin of your palm before he intertwines your fingers
'I’d love to’
and you don’t expect him to screech the way he does, covering his face with his other hand as if he just heard the cringiest thing in the world
and you to calm him down but you also laugh out loud; you’re both not able to contain your smiles
he moves his face closer to you and kisses your nose first, then his lips find yours and he pecks them a few times sloppily before finally, landing your first proper kiss on them
he presses his wet body to yours and shivers overcome your whole body and you’re getting wet as well but you don’t care
eventually, Lucas drags you into the water with him and after you yell at him, you begin splashing each other with water and kissing and laughing maniacally
he warns you though
he says that he was never serious with anyone before and he might turn out to be the worst boyfriend ever
but it’s totally not the case
you’ve never imagined yourself to be so happy 
he’s still your best friend and still behaves the same way as before; every time you’re with him your cheeks hurt from laughing and you can’t contain your happiness
he’s still caring; when you’re sick he makes sure you take care of yourself; he calls you after your studying sessions and keeps talking to you until he knows you’re asleep - because you tend to stay up late and then you’re like a zombie the next day
he’s still protective; whenever someone talks to you without showing respect, he just appears next to you and asks them politely to change their ways
his words might be polite but his gaze sure isn’t
he gives AMAZING hugs, it’s like your body melts into his and you weigh nothing; one hug of his and you suddenly have no problems, life is beautiful and flowers are blooming
and the feeling of his hand holding yours? indescribable
it makes you feel extremely safe and reassured like there’s nothing that’s impossible for you
whenever he laughs at your jokes, you feel like the funniest person in the world and you just want to make him laugh and laugh and laugh; his chuckles sounded obnoxious once but now they’re the best sound in the world in your ears
and when he looks at you with his big brown eyes, you feel so beautiful; when he smiles at you, you feel like you can do anything
you sometimes can’t believe how lucky you are to have this big dork next to you; when he falls asleep while studying with you in the library (yeah you take him there again), you count his eyelashes and trace your fingers across his cheeks and play with his soft hair and just, admire how handsome and perfect he is
he’s also unstoppable
whenever he sees your gaze falling to his plump lips, he just goes for it and cups your face in his big hands and kisses you hungrily, as if he hadn’t just kissed you a few minutes ago
he loves giving you random kisses
at work, you can be just making an order for something when he suddenly comes up to you and gives you a peck on the cheek unexpectedly and it leaves you blushing EVERY.TIME.
still, your random make-out sessions in the staff room make you blush the most
or when you’re explaining something to him, he just shuts you up with a quick kiss
and you look at him with a straight face because,,, you were talking about some real important stuff,, but when he grins at you and his cheeks go up like this, you can’t even be mad
he’s so proud to show you off in front of everyone; he’s always holding your hand or having his arm around your shoulder or just touching you in some way
and your friends are as positive as him, they love you
and whenever you interact with them as if they were all your best friends of 12 years, he just lights up with pride
the thing is, none of the people that had a crush on him before seems mad about him being in a relationship? they actually seem to love him even more because seeing you two interact makes everyone’s hearts just go crazy
you’re so incredibly sweet together, you don’t even fight
Lucas would hate himself forever if he ever hurt you; so,,,, he just lets you win all the time
there was only one fight between the two of you, early in your relationship and he cried and you cried and you just ended up hugging and comforting each other on the floor
since then, Lucas has decided to never start a fight and since you’re easy-going as well, you don’t really need to fight
you both shower each other with compliments and support all the time; your texts are filled with heart emoji and memes basically
but you secretly love the moments when you lay down in your bed talking about everything just before you doze off; none of you knows exactly what you’re talking about it but it’s just so wholesome and listening to his deep, hushed voice just makes you fall in love with him again and again
in conclusion, you’re so in love with Lucas and you tell him that for the first time after he wins a competition
he’s all wet and tired and not breathing properly even, when you throw yourself at him
and he lifts you up and twirls with you in his arms and you leave sloppy kisses all over his face
'I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you..’
'I LOVE YOU TOO MAN’
’…. is 'man’ your pet name for me’
and he laughs hysterically and you just shake your head before joining in
so yeah, you’re undoubtedly in love with the biggest dork of them all, Lulu
you once get startled when you come across Jaehyun on the campus; you squeeze Lucas’ hand to warn him not to do anything stupid
but Jaehyun smiles at the two of you and acts incredibly friendly? 
you’re not friends with him but you’re in good terms; actually, you’ve heard some stories about him falling in love? 
but that’s… a story for another time >:)
masterlist
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scentedglitter · 5 years ago
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Fire: a Fanfic for Bushfire Support
I haven’t posted in months even tho I’m still posting fic over on AO3 but I’m back for one important post:
On December 20th I drove 500km from my home in the Australian Capital Territory [NSW] to my parents’ house in Victoria. The entire 6-hour trip, visibility was well below 500m (0.3mi) due to intense smoke haze and it was terrifying.
Bushfires are normal in Australia, everything about this year is not. Our fire season started months early. The area burnt has surpassed 4 million hectares already with months left in the fire season. In a normal year less than 500,000ha would be burnt total. Fires have been burning out of control for months and are joining together into massive complexes which have no hope of being contained until we get rain – and that won’t be until late January, at least (per long range forecasting). Smoke has caused weeks on end of hazardous air quality and corresponding increases in hospital admissions etc across large parts of the eastern states. Coastal tourist towns have lost business in their busiest period of the year and it will likely lead to many small, local businesses closing down. Millions of agricultural animals and wildlife have died, thousands of buildings have been destroyed including homes, businesses and sheds. You can find more info on the situation so far from The Guardian here.
So much of it is wildly out of human control, and it’s terrifying. I don’t know, personally, what it’s like to be actively threatened by a fire in any meaningful way. I also don’t know what to do to help.
But I did, while I was panicking for 6 hours driving through an apocalyptic smoke haze with a painters’ mask intermittently over my face when it got too bad for my car air con to keep it out, come up with a rough idea of how I could throw a “if you can help, if you’d like to, this is how” on the back of a fic.
So here goes: I wrote a fic. It’s heavy on trigger warnings: bushfire, property loss, death, PTSD. There are no major character deaths and chapter 2-3 will be generally fluffy because that’s what I needed to write. [click the text for link to fic]
And if you like the fic, love the fic, or even if you don’t really care for my writing or follow me for something other than pitch perfect, here’s how you can help out with the Australian bushfires:
The Red Cross assists with various disaster recovery and relief efforts in communities affected by fire
St Vincent De Paul Society also assists with bushfire recovery and supporting affected communtiies
The Salvation Army assists with recovery efforts and at evacuation and relief centres
BlazeAid is a charity which specifically helps rural communities with practical bushfire recovery such as rebuilding fences – fences are SO important to rural farming communities to allow livestock safety, etc!
GIVIT allows you to donate money to help specific projects for communities in need as a result of the Queensland and New South Wales bushfires
WIRES is a wildlife rescue group which supports the rescue and recovery of native wildlife in a variety of situations including the current bushfire emergency
You can donate directly to volunteer firefighting organisations in both NSW – the Rural Fire Service and Victoria – the Country Fire Authority. I was unable to find equivalent links for other state fire services. Direct donations may only be available to individuals in Australia.
Can’t donate? Don’t want to? That’s absolutely fine. There’s a lot of other ways you can help, too –
Share the message – this one, or any other!
Donate to a charity or relief effort local to you, even if that’s totally different to this – there’s a lot going on in the world, and a lot of people could use a helping hand.
Support movements raising awareness about the impact of climate change on the extent and duration of extreme weather/climatic conditions and related public health outcomes
Cut down on waste and trash, use water efficiently, and help other people do the same
Thanks!
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bomberqueen17 · 5 years ago
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update: did not scream on the phone
i did cry tho. i tried not to. the lady was like oh yeah, the ticket was disposed of and the judge approved it, i wonder why DMV sent you that notice
and i was like all due respect ma’am but the reason they sent that notice is that your office sent them my name and information as being a SCOFFLAW (it’s in all caps on the form), so it doesn’t matter that your records state the ticket was disposed of if your records also still sent my name to the DMV for failing to appear. like, i got one piece of paper here, and that piece of paper has your office’s address and phone number on it, and it’s from the DMV, and i cannot for the entire life of me imagine any other mechanism by which the DMV would have gotten my information and also attached your office’s information to it. 
i’ll take care of it, she said (again, I’m sure it’s the same woman, I remember her voice, also my mom works in our town offices and i know there’s like five people in the whole town government in a municipality that size), just like she said before, and so i said also all due respect ma’am but i need that in some kind of written form, that i can like carry around with me as proof, because all i’ve got otherwise is a call log in my phone saying i called this number at 11am on september 3rd and spoke for 1:27, and that is not a super useful bit of information for me to have, and then I started crying and said if they suspend your license and you don’t know about it and they run your plates they’ll really for real arrest you, in really for real handcuffs behind your back which super sucks if you have shoulder problems and they don’t give a God-damn about shoulder problems if you are a SCOFFLAW in all caps, you can ask me all about how i know this, they put you in the really for real jail in the same kind of holding cells as the really for real murder-type criminals get put in and they take your glasses so you can’t see anything and you just gotta sit there all helpless and blind in this cell with a water fountain coming out of the toilet, so if you’ll forgive me, I am God-damned terrified of not having written proof that i am not a SCOFFLAW (it is always in all caps), because without written proof there is no one who gives a single good goddamn about what you thought you were told.
and she said I will email you all the materials pertaining to this case for your records, and I said, thank you, and hung up, and now I have to hope I spelled my email address correctly on the phone.
I LOATHE doing business on the phone, in case I have not said that four thousand times already.
Oh good, I just got an email from the lady in Canajoharie. I am going to exhale now. I went and cried in the bathroom after I got off the phone. I haven’t cried in months, did you know that? I never got around to crying over the yurt, though I wanted to, but i cried about this, for the minute and a half it took me to get it under control. Thank heavens nobody else is here yet. 
Oh gosh. Oh gosh. I just want to cry some more. Stop that. No, I have shit to do. And it’s not even 10am so I can’t drink either. Also I am at work and it is our busiest time of year, and so I have to go take care of that.
Christ this has been a ride. Breathe in, breathe out, go about your business. I think the worst part is how much worse it could so easily get. The legal system is a thin veil of pretense over a gaping maw of powerlessness, isn’t it? 
What a horrifying thing to reflect on. (upside-down smiley) Now I have go to wash my face again. Oh my God, we live in a society, and that is fucked-up.
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pillowfluffs · 7 years ago
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Best Friend!Baekyun
Part 1 of 2
genre: fluff
pairing: Baekhyun x Reader (female)
Part 2
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Byun Baekhyun. One of the best people you’ve ever encountered in your life. Ever since your mothers met each other while dropping the both of you off at daycare, a friendly relationship bloomed and continued to present day, you just turned 24 and he just turned 25. 
(It’s fate, you both have the same birthday). You woke up to the sun shining brightly through your white curtains after a long night of partying and celebrating with both of your guys’ friends. You feel a slight pounding in your head as the effect of alcohol from last night’s shots kicking back in. You rubbed your head, yawning, and reached over to the drawers next to your bed and pulled out some Advil. After taking the Advil, you laid back down and pulled your phone out from under your pillow. Notifications of “Happy Birthday Y/N!” messages from relatives overseas filled your phone. Text messages and snaps from other friends made your phone light up every 2 minutes. You rolled out of bed after scrolling through your phone for a few minutes and started your day. Today was the first you were 24. A month or two later and all the schools would be on break. You were brushing your teeth, “blasting” music from your phone, thinking back to some funny memories from last night until you got a text.
BB: “GM”
Of course, it was Baek, he always texted you good morning and good night. It was an unofficially made precedent. But you never complained ;)
YOU: “gm”
You put down your phone and continued on with your morning routine; brushing your hair, getting dressed for whatever errand or objective you set yourself, but for the first time in forever, you had nothing. You went back to your room to water your (almost dead) plants when your phone vibrated in your hand.
BB: “Yo, are you doing anything today?”
YOU: “for once, no”
YOU: “why?”
BB: “same”
BB: “do you wanna get breakfast?”
YOU: “sure. where tho?”
BB: “mm”
BB: “ooh, ik this new place that opened up and i saw some pretty good reviews about it”
YOU: “okay”
BB: “then pick you up in 15”
You turned off your phone and a smile grew on your face. As long as you’ve known Baekhyun and no matter how many sides of him you’ve seen, good or bad, there was always something about him that attracted you to him. The way he smiled and laughed and said things just made you want to hug him. Never once would you hang out with him and not be in a bad mood. Unless he was in a bad mood, which was rare-ish. The next thing you know, you’re in your closet picking out a cute, but casual outfit. So many choices, what to do what to do. Was it windy today? Chilly? Hot? Cloudy? Should you dress fancy? Or casual? Ugh, you wished Baek told you about the cafe more. You pulled out your phone to check the weather and saw that 7 minutes had already passed. SHI(O)T. You quickly pulled out your classic black jeans and your new baby blue short sleeved shirt. You looked into your full body length mirror and fixed your hair. You grabbed your wallet and waited by the door until Baek texted you his presence. A few minutes passed when you were just scrolling through your phone when you got a text.
BB: “here”
BB: “betch”
You clicked on the message notification and went to messages. As you were about to text your sassy clap back remark, he texted again.
BB: “jkjk pls dont kill me”
And there it was again. His usual funny charm that never failed to make you smile. You quickly replied while slipping on your white vans
YOU: “B*TCHH”
YOU: “coming”
You grabbed your keys form your key basket and left your apartment. You went down the stairs from your apartment to see the familiar white Cherokee. He was on his phone when he glanced up as you were walking towards the car. He instantly smiled, waved, and rolled down the winder.
“Get in loser, we’re going to breakfast,” he laughed. “Good morning.”
You just gave him your classic what the.. Look while getting in.
“Hi,” you said. You saw that he was wearing the same type of clothes.. Actually, he was wearing black jeans, black vans, a white shirt below with a blue sweater with his sleeves rolled up and a watch. You just focused ahead as he drove. Smiling and looking out the window, you did your occasional glance at your phone. You turned back and started talking when you feel yourself calm down a little.
“So how far is this new cafe?” you finally broke the silence.
“Mm, not too far, it’s a few blocks away from the company,” one hand on the steering wheel, the other rubbing his chin. Their new song universe was playing softly in the background.
“Have fun last night?” he smiled at you.
“Yeah, it was bigger than I thought, honestly,” you looked back outside, passing by the familiar streets. “I woke up with a small headache though.. Did you have a hangover?”
“Surprisingly, no,” he shook his head.
“Lucky,” you pouted. Baekhyun just smiled to himself from how cute you were unintentionally being. It was the same for him too. Ever since that one time he saw you asleep on your textbook when he dropped by, just the way you looked made his heart flutter. He always admired how hardworking and studious you were. He never thought he would ever fall for his best friend like those cliche stories and movies, but here he was, falling for you more and more as time went by. Oh how he wished he could just reach over and hold your hand, but he couldn’t. He knew you didn’t reciprocate his feelings. You confirmed it yourself when he asked you if you were interested in anyone. Of course you said no though, how could you confess then and there? Especially with how shy you were sometimes. But little did he know that you did reciprocate the feelings, just as much. Plus, he knew that there was a long list of other guys that he found out were interested in you, but you never paid attention to them. Of course you didn’t. You had some high standards when it came to guys. Heck, they were so high that it even made Baekhyun doubt his looks. You reached for the radio and turned up the music. Universe played louder at Baek’s verse and you just silently sang along with him. He glanced over and smiled, his heart beat faster in his chest. He sang out and tried his best to sing enough so you would sing out too. Even though you didn’t admit it to yourself, he always knew you had a lovely voice. It was always gentle and soft and ohwefouwefh he just wanted to hug you and squish you. You made him so soft.
“I’m guessing you like our new album?” He raised his voice over the music slightly
“I love it,” you smiled. As the song ended, you finally arrived at the cafe and Baek parked right in front.
“Shilla,” you looked up at the sign and looked into the cafe. There was barely anyone there but it’s understandable since it just opened like half an hour ago.
“Ready to go in?” Baekhyun pointed to the doors locking his car. You looked over and nodded. You both walked forward together towards the entrance.
“Hey!” Baekhyun turned towards you, surprised.
“What?”
“We look like a couple,” he laughed and gestured at both of your outfits.
“Yeah..” you said quietly. A blush slowly glowing onto your face.
He opened the door for you and walked in. The cool breeze of the air conditioning chilled you a bit, but it was okay.
“Let’s sit here,” he gestured to the table further in. “I can go order for both of us. They have your favorite here.”
“Okay,” you sat with your arms folded in your lap, you were a bit chilly. “Wait, but I need to pay,” you were standing up.
“No, no, no, no, no,” he came back and sat your back down. “Breakfast is on me today,” he smiled his signature smile that you prayed would never fade.
“Oh, are you sure?”
“Yes, now sit,” he pointed downwards. You saw him turn to walk back towards the entrance but turned left to the register. You sat there and was on your phone, snapping your streaks and scrolling through Instagram. You were feeling colder and colder until you feel something warm wrap around your shoulders. You looked back up to see Baekhyun standing behind you, hands on your shoulders as he wrapped one of his jackets around you.
“Oh, thank you,” you put your arms through the sleeves.
“No, problem, I noticed you were cold when we walked in.” He went back to the register and walked back to the table with two hot drinks.
“I got your favorite,” he set down the drinks and napkins and sat across from you.
“They have all my favorites here,” you smiled “Both food and person,” you thought to yourself. “This might just be my new favorite cafe.” You smiled and brought your drink to your lips. The refreshing smell of your latte filled your nose. “Mmm, this is so good,” you smiled.
“This is definitely my new favorite.”
You paused for a brief moment until you finally spoke up.
“How come you don’t have a schedule today?” you asked curiously. “I figured since you recently had this album released, and considering you’re one of the top groups in Korea, the last thing you should be doing is nothing.”
“Well..” and just from the tone of his voice, you knew he did something he shouldn’t have. “That’s the thing..”
“What is?” You stared at him. “Baek?” You lowered your head to get into his line of sight.
“I technically do have a schedule.. And it’s the busiest one of the year,” he rubbed the back of his neck.
Your eyes grew big at this. You knew how much trouble he would get in when he got back, especially since he did this last year too and you didn’t hear from him for a few weeks.
“Baekhyun, you shouldn’t have done this. Oh my gosh,” your mouth was agape in shock.
“But, I wanted to be with you,” he put on his puppy face. The face he knew was your ultimate weakness. “Plus, our manager doesn’t really know I’m gone. The guys are covering for me,” You could’ve melted right then and there but you stood your ground.
“Wha- But they’re not dumb enough to not ignore your absence. Plus, we were together last night!”
‘But I wanted to be alone, Y/N!” He sighed. “Please, just don’t worry about me and my soon to come punishment. just-“
You were taken back a bit at his sudden exclamation.
“Why, though?” You cut him off. “We see each other often, but today, you shouldn’t have ditched your schedule.”
“Because Y/N…” He paused, staring into your eyes.
~~~~~
gif not mine!
I hope you all enjoyed! and I’ll be posting part 2 tomorrow around this same time
Masterlist
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aurimeanswind · 7 years ago
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Your E3 Predictions!—Sunday Chats—6/3/18
I’m very excited about this week’s Sunday Chats because it’s all about E3 predictions! This time next week, we’ll BE INSIDE E3! I’ll have seen Microsoft/EA/and Bethesda’s pressers come the next Sunday Chats, and I’ll be writing about them, probably! I may or may not do a Sunday Chats, but we’ll see!
To catch folks up, this week has been a full-force build up to E3 for me. A new Episode of Get Acquainted posted, with my friend Brandon Gann, who is just an incredibly wonderful and amazing loquacious individual, and we spend two plus hours talking E3! We had a ton of predictions and great conversations around all of them! You should give it a listen!
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http://irrationalpassions.com/brandon-gann-e3-predictions-get-acquainted/
On this week’s Irrational Passions Podcast we had my other good friend Logan Moore on to make some E3 BETS! Nabeshin was kind enough to put together 25 amazing bets for us and a ton of lightening round bets on top of that, and it was super fun. You can watch the video version of that WITH bonus content right now, and the fully edited version will post on Tuesday.
youtube
So it’s all about E3, but before we get to that, a little personal update.
Personal Update for June
So any one close to me will no that the last week of my life has been exceptionally difficult. Some folks close to me, both physically and emotionally have been making decisions that have been pretty toxic, I can’t lie. It’s led to a pretty unhealthy living situation that I’d rather not get into, and whether things blow over, get worse, I’m not sure. I obviously don’t want to spill any personal juice here, but anyone who has seen me out here tweeting like the dramatic boi I am on the inside about how I need some good vibes, that’s a general overview of the situation, if you were concerned.
I’m thankful for all my close friends out there texting me, checking on me, and making sure I am doing okay, even if I’m not. It is upsetting that this just so happens to coincide with the busiest time of the year in video games, so if this bleeds over into our content over on Irrational Passions I apologize. Sometimes its a bit unavoidable.
Anyway, I appreciate you all taking the time to interact and be a part of my silly Selfie Saturdays or Sunday Chats, it means the world. I’ve been working hard with the team @ Irrational Passions to make some really fun stuff, including a new show that acts as a spiritual successor to our roundtables from 2017 Game of the Year talks.
That’s all we need to dwell on in regards to the bummer business, let’s get to games!
What’s on Tap
Moonlighter
So I just started this tonight and I have to say: right away I just love it.
The idea is you live in a small town that neighbors these ancient ruins that lead to these very dangerous dungeons, and once upon a time travelers and adventurers used to come here to explore those dungeons, and merchants would sell supplies and goodies to gear them up for those journeys. Eventually it grew too dangerous, but you are someone who Moonlights as an adventurer and runs a shop on the front end.
You dive into these dungeons and get awesome treasure and loot and goodies to then sell in your shop to expand your shop, get better weapons and armor, and continue deeper into the dungeons. It’s an amazing idea, and it’s executed on so well.
The game sustains such a great and rewarding loop, and it’s also got tons of charm and amazingly well executed on pixel art.
On top of that the UI is also just very good? It’s super slick and smooth. 
I’m only a couple hours in but I just adore it. Mike Burgess, producer at IP, did a video review on it that I saw the first cut of today and it’s actually what sold me on it. See it soon!
Detroit Become Human
I’ve already said so much about this game I’m exhausted. I love this game.
It has so many issues and in spite of all that, I genuinely adored my time with Detroit.
Our roundtable discussion was about this very game, so look for it soon.
Dark Souls Remastered
This game is still so good. I think I may like it even more than Dark Souls 3, a game I picked up just very briefly a few weeks ago.
I’ve now got the power to fast travel and am just warping around and exploring again. I even dipped my toe into the DLC area which I have never seen before. 
It’s excellent, and seeing it run smooth has been super rewarding for me, a longtime fan of the title.
Your E3 Predictions
Let’s get to it! This week, something I haven’t done in a bit, I asked you for your boldest E3 predictions, and while some of you gave me a good joke, a lot of you came back at me with some great predictions!
Let’s get into it!
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Remember to look for my tweet on Sunday afternoons/evenings with #SundayChats in it and respond to it with your reply to be a part of Sunday Chats!
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Now listen, I know this was clearly written as a joke Sam, but I think that this announcement is coming, just not here. It’s a PSX announcement, if ANY, because that’s the only place it can be really gernally accepted as an “announcement”. It’d get a big riot of an applause.
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I’d love this. I think they have such a “robust” (#branding) library of handheld games that it’d make too much sense to carry them over to their now partially handheld big console.
Will it happen? Well, I mean Nintendo has said no virtual console on Switch. But they’ve changed their mind, even if it has been rare, in the past before. While it could happen down the line, this up coming direct is about 2017, so I don’t think we’ll see it there.
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Nah John.
You need to stop.
But... Well
I mean maybe?
MAYBE.
Maybe?
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Finally. Some announcements we, as “hardcore gamers” care about.
Some cars
Fuckin.
On stage.
The cars have sex.
And birth a motorcycle.
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I love this Peter. I mean, for some reason I guess folks think that Emma Stone will be the female actress pulled into Death Stranding, and I think there will likely be a big female reveal at some point, I don’t know why everyone thinks it’ll be Emma Stone? I bet there is a good reason out there, I just don’t know. I’m not complaining, Emma Stone is great.
I am definitely with you on the “deep dive”, though I don't think there will be a long explanation of things, just a nice gameplay demo. My theory I posited on Get Acquainted was like an 8 minute trailer that leads into about four minutes of gameplay at the end, but it’s just enough cinematic that we’re convinced there will be no gameplay, and then BOOM. There is.
I could see them saying 2019 at the end too, though I doubt they’ll hit it.
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YOU DONT BRANDON GOODBYE.
Nah of course. 
We talked about this on our show, obvs, everyone please go listen to it, but NO FINAL FANTASY 7. IT WONT HAPPEN. Square Enix needs to figure that shit out, and so they’ll come back to it when it, and more importantly, THEY’RE ready to.
Here’s hoping for some dope Xbox Avatars.
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I mean, it’s gotta be the time, right? I need to know what this Resident Evil 2 Remake looks like. I know the director was out there talking about it not terribly too long ago, and it just feels like ages since we heard about it. With Capcom announcing RE7 and then releasing it 6 months later, on top of Monster Hunter World’s recent success, they are on a great path! Time to continue it!
As for DMC 5 I mean everyone seems convinced it’s coming and I just don’t care.
I love the Rocksteady prediction, because they’ve been cooking that bad boy for a good long while. I hope it’s Superman because I have supreme faith they’ll knock it out of the park. Maybe even an origin story? I’d love to see Rocksteady do one of those.
And I do, also, believe that Shadows Die Twice is Tenchu.
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Dishonored getting a reboot I just don’t see happening. I think it’s time Arkane moves onto some new IP. Something that is hopefully a bit more eye-catchy so they get get back into a popular circle, then maybe spend a few years making iterations of that. Maybe in a few years past that they can return to Dunwall and take another crack at Dishonored.
Doom 2 can be wherever the hell it wants and I am HERE for it. But judging by the sounds of things that may not be at this E3, and that’s okay. It makes me sad, but it’s okay.
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Man. I fucking wish.
Them or Bioware. I’d love to have just an original story told at Hogwarts where you create your character and go through 7 years at the school and it’s great and it has dialogue wheels and it’s great. Feed me Bioware.
It’d never happen tho.
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This would be very cool. I feel like this Star Fox Grand Prix rumor is too big to ignore, but it’s still a little far fetched. I wonder how they’d sell it, if it is real.
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Honestly, not that far out there. Kingdom Hearts don’t give a fuck about Red Dead.
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Here is my thing, I just don’t think an ARMs character will make it into the Smash roster because no one cares about ARMs and I don’t think they’d be crazy interesting. Who would it be? Twintelle? I mean she is super cool, but who knows!
THey’d make great assist trophies, and I know that’s a slight but I’m sorry.
PUT GENO IN.
Anyway, if they put Banjo and Kazooie in I’d literally start crying right then and there, and it may happen, who knows, but I would. I’d cry.
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I think there could be a direct apology. It depends. I think within 15 minutes or so we will know if EA has changed their tone or not. Hell, within 2 minutes we’ll know. If they want to actually be well regarded, they need to start making big moves, and right now, they’re not. Period. Come out and own up to what you’ve done wrong, or GTFO. They need to make up ground on the PR front, even if they’re still making money hand over fist. 
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I’m sorry times are tough Silver, but know that I’m sending good vibes your way!
I wonder if Microsoft would make such a bold move. Regardless, it’s a great bold prediction. I hope that they are gonna give it some more time, and let this generation cook a little more. I’m digging my Xbox One X, and them implying a replacement is coming next year or so would bum me out.
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Finally. The battle Royale Battle Royale we’ve all been waiting for. 
And as the dust settles, there’s sha’boi Griffin. Standing on top. Winner of them all.
And let’s not front: I’d kill to listen to Donald Glover sing Parappa songs.
Thank you all so much for your predictions! I’ve had a ton out there all week, and the Get Acquainted Episode I think has them out there in the best way. Go check them out! Either way, I’m so excited for E3, not necessarily to see if my predictions came true, but just for the hype of it all and my inevitable editorial after its all said and done about my thoughts and feelings coming out of it.
So. Big Sunday Chats update. I may be making a BIG CHANGE to Sunday Chats in the coming weeks. There is some ironing out I need to figure out personally, but I just wanted to give you faithful readers a little heads up. This could be something that becomes a proper part of IrrationalPassions.com, and for that, I’m very excited. The biggest thing is it may mean I start soliciting questions on Saturday! Stay tuned for my twitter for that.
It wouldn’t be a big change for you all, so don’t stress about it too much, but I wanted to seed it out there.
I love you all and your support, especially in these dark dog days of summer I am in. Thank you for the perpetual good vibes. 
I hope you all are here for the E3 hype, but if not, that’s okay. Regardless, thank you for reading, and
keep it real.
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(the Naruto kick not only continues, but never ends.)
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fuck-customers · 7 years ago
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This kind of a fuck Customers AND Coworkers AND Managers. But mostly fuck Coworkers and Managers, the customers don’t help matters, but it’s not ENTIRELY their fault. (Except the one lady who asked me where the bathrooms were while standing between the doors…. That lady was just….UGH. it was all I could do not to say “Can I direct your dumbass BEHIND YOU?” ) I work in a restaurant kitchen as a pantry cook. I hired in as a dishwasher then a pantry cook quit and another took 2 months off for surgery and recovery, so the Chef moved me over since at the time we had an abundance of dishwashers, but a serious lack of pantry cooks. So I got trained in a very “here’s what I need, figure out how to do it in 3 minutes” fashion. I’ve been in Pantry now for roughly 6.5 months, and I’ve gotten on pretty well. I know my entire section of the menu, and the only time I really have slip ups anymore is when we first start the new specials at the beginning of each month. Or when I have 30 tickets and the servers are STILL ringing in more when we’ve told them to put everything on a 20-30 minute wait so we can dig ourselves out of the weeds. We’ve only had maybe 5 tables actually get up and leave since I started working pantry and only 1 was my fault. And even then it really wasn’t. I was completely by myself, working all of pantry with absolutely no help as the cook who’d taken a off for surgery came back for 2 weeks then just….stopped showing up, and the other pantry cook was moved to saute. I can only work so fast. I spent 3 months working the station by myself with only one scheduled day off a week, and 6 weeks of that 3 months I didn’t get a day off at all. I never complained once, even when I found out the owner is an arse and doesn’t pay time and a half for overtime. I was still making half decent money, and I NEEDED the job, so I dealt with it. About a month ago they rehired an employee to give me help at night. She happens to be my station leads brothers wife’s best friend. So she gets 2 scheduled days off a week, plus more often than not just doesn’t show up on Mondays. Doesn’t call in either. Whatever, at least it’s something. Except her days off? 2 of our busiest days of the week. So I still have to work those by myself, and then on the weekends she makes a point of coming in 3 hours early so she gets to leave before we close, leaving me to take on the heaviest part of the night by myself AND have to do closing cleanup and prep alone. Again, whatever. But what’s getting to me finally? I got EXTREMELY sick on Sunday, so much so I got sent home early cos I was literally RUNNING off my line to make it outside before I got sick ON the line and we had to shut down to clean everything. Today [Monday] I spent all day alternating between trying to sleep while running a high fever and hugging my toilet. So my roommate, who works days at the same restaurant, called in and talked to Chef, who told them I was NOT to come in tonight. My roommate, being the awesome person they are, went BACK in to help set up for the evening parties we had so they wouldn’t be shortstaffed. Not 5 minutes after he left after telling me I was NOT to go in tonight, my Chef called and bitched me out about not coming in, cos I was leaving him shortstaffed, and now HE had to go in on HIS only day off, and now we need to sit and have a talk my next work day. Like I purposefully got sick to cut him short on cooks or something. Even tho, in all likelihood, the reason I’m so sick right now is cos they can’t keep workers for shit [in 3 months we’ve gone through 12 dishwashers, a char cook, a saute cook, a pantry cook, and our lead saute is leaving at the end of July after working there 11 years cos he’s sick of the bullshit] so those workers who, like me, can’t AFFORD to just leave get worked to the bone and burned out until they CAN’T work anymore. My body can’t TAKE the 112 degree heat of the line constantly anymore. And they don’t pay me anywhere near enough to force myself to go in when I’m puking every 30 minutes like clockwork. And to add insult to injury, my Chef called me again, I pretended I was sleeping and let it go to voicemail….he wants me to come in tomorrow, my ONE scheduled day off, cos I took today off. Except, I didn’t take it off. It’s not like I asked to be called off cos I’m gadding about town having a lark. I was TOLD not to come in cos I’m puking. I’ve spent my day curled up on the couch, in 4 layers of clothing AND a blanket, bouncing between being freezing cold and sweating like a stuffed pig, trying not to puke on the carpet…. or the dog who has insisted on laying on the floor directly in front of me all day. I love a lot of the people I work with, I’d miss them so much, and I love getting to work with food, but I am SO CLOSE to putting my 2 weeks in…. Y'know, assuming I don’t get fired for not working tomorrow when I’m not scheduled to.
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revol-lover · 8 years ago
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Ok I need to rant. Majorly.
Maybe I’m crazy. If I am, please let me know. I am turning 24 this month. But ok I got married a little over a year ago. Prior to this I lived at home with my parents, I wasnt allowed to stay out late, they would wait up for me to come home. Wasnt allowed to go on any over night trip with my fiancé. The whole 9 yards of extreme portuguese parent control. 
I am now married and live literally a 2 minute drive away from my parents (because this is a really nice area and I like it not because I needed to be that close to them for any particular reason) and every weekend since I got married I faithfully visit them on Sundays and a few times had them over at my place instead for sunday lunch. (Not worth mentioning but I’ll mention anyway - we’re never actually “invited” over. We’re very rarely offered a meal when going over. Doesn't matter but just a detail.) This includes during my entire pregnancy, from the extreme tired and fatigue and nausea of the first trimester right up until two weeks ago seeing that I’m now in my third trimester and tired and feeling like you know I’d rather spend my weekend relaxing in between all the other things I have to do before baby gets here. its been hella BUSY.
In between visits with my parents they never call or text me. Never check on me pregnancy wise, etc. There are times even when I text my mom and she never answers me (and she is NOT phone illiterate. Also I can see when she reads texts). If I check in with them I get the “ok” responce to “how are you”. I gave up with that. I’m tired of the effort only being on me.
So like I said, its been two weeks since I’ve visited. I didnt give an explanation the first week. No one checked in on me. I mean for fucks sake I couldve been in the hospital or something but they literally never get in touch with me. Then last weekend we had friends of my husbands from out of town (something that had been pre-planned for months) here to visit so we spent a day with them and I was on my feet all day, not to mention socially drained and I needed to relax the other day (theres only 2days in a weekend!) prior to that weekend I texted my mom to see how she was and tell her I probably wouldn't be by because of those plans but said I’d come by THIS weekend (aka tomorrow).
Now its friday and honestly. I don't want to go. Again. No one checks in if I don't. And if I’m silent for weeks, they return it with silence. They don't ever check in on me. I mean is it normal for parents to not care to this degree? Especially when I had zero freedom prior to moving out. They were never emotionally close or supportive to me but there was always that control factor but now I’m moved out, Ive shown and proved plenty that I care about having a relationship with them and they don't return it in their actions at all.
Now maybe if I had NO other priorities besides making that ONE weekly visit, I’d care less and be able to make it work. But that just isn't the case. Kevin has a 90 year old grandmother who we are both very close to and visit once a week during the week, almost every week. Someone who actually does notice our absence. Someone who appreciates our visit. Then, Kevin’s dad is currently in the hospital recovering from a double organ transplant. He has been in various hospitals and medical centers since November. We also visit him (and Kevins mom who is at the hospital with him most of the time) once a week. There was a time during this period that we didnt even know that he would survive. He was on a transplant list for nearly 2 years. He was extremely close to death, if he didnt get those organs when he did he would not be alive right now. Before he got so sick, we also , were visiting Kevins parents every weekend at their house. They always asked us if we were coming by, always made a meal for us all to share. Kevin’s mom, who has been going through literally the craziest, busiest time of her life, going to work and going to the hospital, every single day for the past 6+ months, one of the hospital stays being 1 1/2 hours away from home and she went faithfully every day, THIS WOMAN, has texted my husband every day to see how we are doing, and specifically always asks how I am doing, how my appointments are going, how I’m feeling. Its a tiny consideration that goes such a long way. Something you kind of expect from a mom???? But my own parents don't do.
So its like. Am i crazy to be sick and tired of visiting every weekend ? To go to their house to sit in a room with one of them staring at the tv and the other their cell phone. Occasionally having a conversation with us, but otherwise it being quiet and slightly uncomfortable and god forbid me, feeling like a bit of a waste of time. Especially when they never check in on me/us. They never invite us over. They never ask to come over. But in contrast to that my mom is so overbearing about the baby stuff. She is handling my baby shower and knows that I don't like overly frilly pink things and she's making sure that it is exactly all about that, because thats what SHE likes. And buying the baby a thousand pairs of shoes even though I already told her I won't be putting shoes on her until she can walk. I mean. If you've been following me you know my mom has her own book of issues and our relationship is very complicated, bt she has a shopping addiction and is very materialistic and thats just not me. I don't live my life that way. We really clash there and I don't want my daughter to have to deal with what I dealt with with my mom, which is conditional love. 
Ive totally gone off track here. I hate even writing these things and publishing them because I’m sure theres that one person who has one thing to say at least about oh at least you have parents or something which, yes I get that. But any other relationship in life this lack of effort would not be acceptable at all. I don't chase people who don't ever show that they care to keep in touch. I feel like my parents take for granted how dedicated I have been to keeping in touch. Have I even mentioned that I through a mothers day brunch for my mom mother in law sister in law and grandmother in law that my mom knew about for weeks and chose to come late to even though she's never late to anything and knows people being late drives me a little nuts (like her. she hates it too so I don't get why she did that to me. It wasnt even an accident. my dad went to church. she was home. he was gonna be late. she couldve came and he couldve come late. she chose to wait for him. i live 2 minutes away.. she couldve just came). I had spent the whole morning, in my third trimester of pregnancy mind you, on my feet with my husband cooking a really nice big brunch for everyone and she came late. Made my other guests feel awkward eating the food HOT as intended because she hadn't shown yet. She didnt even deserve me caring enough to do that. This woman has emotionally abused me my entire life, and physically to a degree when I was a child. But still I have this stupid good daughter complex that I feel guilt whenever I don't show appreciation even tho I’ve never been appreciate.
wow I’m sorry. I just needed to get this all out.
I’m having a baby in less then 2 months. She is going to be my #1 priority in life. I don't think people realize the shit I do. The shit I’ve been doing. It isn't going to continue. I need to be present for my child. I need to be what I didnt have. I need to give her the love and time and nurturing she needs. I need to be the least broken version of myself for her. I’m starting to feel less guilty about not putting effort toward my relationship with my parents. I don't have it in me. I can't do it all. They might not understand putting forth and expressing healthy effort to their children, but I know how important it is. My daughter will have that. Even if it comes at the expense of them barely seeing me. Its their choice in the end. They could pick up the phone too. I’m sick of being the only one.
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tortuga-aak · 7 years ago
Text
Here's a super-quick guide to what traders are talking about right now
Thomson Reuters
Dave Lutz, head of ETFs at JonesTrading, has an overview of today's markets.
Today marks the busiest day of earnings season. Check our calendar to see which companies are reporting.
The Spanish IBEX is climbing on hopes that Catalonia tensions are soon to ease.
Aluminum is hitting 5-year highs.
Here's Lutz:
Good Morning, and welcome to the Busiest day of Earnings this season, with 67 S&P500 companies printing.  Markets are quiet right now as we await the ECB (7:45 Headers, 8:30 Presser.  Extend and taper from €60bn/month to €30bn expected) – as well as a slew of Mega-Cap tech after the close.  Bulls are in control early in Europe, where the DAX is up 40bp, but Eyes on the IBEX climbing 1% on Headers Puigdemont will call elections instead of announcing secession.  Italian banks are a fan as well, pulling the EU fin Index up 1% despite Barclays and DB under pressure on #s.   NOK getting smoked has Helsinki off 2% early tho.   Miners climbing small, while Semis are liking the #s from STMicro.  In Asia, Nikkei up 15bp as discretionary rallied - Hang Seng hit for 35bp as Tech was hit for 1% - Shanghai up 30bp - KOSPI weaker with KOSDAQ down 1.4% - Aussie up small, while Sensex is adding to yesterday’s bank induced gains
Ahead of House vote on Budget Later today, the US 10YY is off small as Bunds catch a small bid and Euro holding $1.18 into the ECB Call.  The DXY is flat tho, as sterling retraces lower.  Norway’s Norges Bank and Sweden’s Riksbank have no change, and South Africa’s Rand still getting hit on angst about a ratings downgrade.  Ore off small, Rebar hit for 1% in China has Copper off 30bp, but Zinc and Nickel are in the green, while Aluminum is hitting 5Y highs and Gold drifts around unch.   WTI is up small, but Energy traders are watching Natty gas getting hit for 1% into Inventory data later today.
Read about the 10 things you need to know today...
NOW WATCH: A $1 trillion money manager says the Trump Trade is back
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dwpah · 8 years ago
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The @dwpah Instagram game has been weak over the past few months. Main reason is the camera on my phone has broken but we have also been the busiest we've ever been. There are not enough hours in the day. Still doing the 🎤#boilerbash with an expert finish tho. Here is a conventional to combi conversion with a #Baxi #duotec 33 with a 7 year warranty. Working alongside the #nestthermostat to maximise efficiency. Customer over the moon with our #efficient time of just under 8 hours start to finish and our neat installation method #boilers #heating #dwpah @chuddy2011 (at DW Plumbing and Heating)
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yieldacalos · 8 years ago
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2016
2016 was a tough year for me. My new years eve on 2015 turned out not so good and my 2016 started... not so well too but despite that, 2016 was a year full of roller coaster rides, first times, surprises, opportunities and new people who’ll be joining my journey in 2017.
There were a lot of things that made me happy and strong last year so I really wanted to jot down all the important events that happened. This is the least thing that I can do for you because I know that the last time I post a long-text-post was ages ago...
January. Well, this is the worst month for me. A lot of people left permanently, lost my trust, hurt, etc. This is a very challenging month and I almost gave up. I tried to travel with my family to make me forget about what happened but I just couldn’t forget it easily. I always fake my happiness and every night I cry. I was really not in myself and forgot to take care of myself. On the bright side, I was drawn closer to God. I came back to the church, attended youth service and spent time with positive people.
February. I can’t say it’s a good month but still glad because I still managed to lead two clubs and made a good contribution to my school. This was the busiest month of my 2016 because it was the foundation month of the school! I managed to lead a Broadway even though I’m a first timer.
March. I completed junior high school! That’s one of the highlight of my 2016. I finished junior high with A’s and without failing grades. I received a lot of certificates and medals too! I also attended the victory weekend and was baptized! and yep, I am now a youth leader!
April. I tried something new. I went out on my shell and participated life academy under drum category. I am really not into this kind of stuff, you know performing up on stage with a lot of people watching me... just the thought of it gives me the feeling of being humiliated but I still pursue because life is too short for staying on your comfort zone, why don’t we try something new?
May. I traveled to Luzon, specifically in Manila with my mom. I tried the famous shabu-shabu and other famous delicacies. I met new people and tried new things. We visited my Nanay (My mommy’s bes tfriend for almost 30 years!) and for the first time I went to casino. I was surprise because I was only 17 y/o (that time) yet I managed to trick the guards. This month was also the month that I performed in front of many people... on the mall! I played Magbalik by Calalily and Akap by Imago in drums. It was pretty basic but it’s really a big thing to me because that was my first time! first time to perform in front of people, first time to get my brows done (lol).
June. Back to school! Well unlike the past back-to-school months, this is one of the days that I feel really nervous because it’s a new atmosphere, a new environment with new people, new ways and new policies... in short it’s a new school. I have a lot of thoughts in my first step of the campus, both positive and negative. I have a lot of adjustments specially with the schedules and their ways of interacting with each other. This was also the month that I felt that ‘tingling sensation’, in short I got a new lovelife! Hahahahaha
July. I was still in the adjustment stage but managed to keep my life going. I’ve met new friends and found a new circle of friends. Weird fact is my ‘circle’ is compose of mostly guys. I am glad that my new classmates accepted me and welcome me warmly. So far I am doing well with my studies.
August. Adjustment stage was almost over but still couldn’t accept the fact that we were obliged to wear ‘katutubo’ or ‘filipininas’ during monday on school. Don’t forget the fact that Philippine is a tropical country and it’s too hot here! Well moving on, the highlight of this month was a friend of ours gave us dogs! we named them Kirby and Sydney (yup, ‘them’ not ‘it’) the last time I had a dog was when I was in 6th grade, her name is Miho but I lost her. She died. I just woke up one morning and found out that our house maid bury her on our backyard.
September. Padula season! I participated to a literary; short film competition as a cinematographer. There were a lot of ups and downs but still my team and I made it ‘til the end. We placed 2nd and it was our first time to join. This was also one of the most dramatic months that I’ve experienced. A lot of tears were wasted to wrong people and etc. and oh, this was also the month that I threw my phone out of anger. Still a good month tho.
October. I’m back at attending youth service but this time with someone so close to my heart. I also got reunited with my junior classmates. This was also the month that I was struggling with my subject Philosophy but then guess what? on the final exam I got 94! This was also the month that I baked oreo stuffed chocolate chip cookie for the first time! plus semester break. Bye bye first semester!
November. The busiest month in Saint Columban College! I’ve participated in different activities like light parade, fun run, and etcetera! It’s very ‘alien’ to me because we always go home around 8 or 9 in the evening. I also did something crazy this month. I surprised Greg with the help of his friends and to tell you guys frankly, it was my first time to surprise a guy! I exerted a lot of efforts and good thing it turned out perfect. Also, hello second semester! New teachers, new classroom, new subjects but still same faces lol. I have 8 subjects. I have 6 majors and 3 of it are science. I find it more challenging because it’s more of us and less of the teachers. A good month, no regrets!
December. Probably the best month so far! This month is full of first times and when I say first times it’s really full of things that I did for the first time! December welcomed me with good moments and happenings. It’s the month wherein Greg’s family knew about me... about us and it’s also the month that we did some crazy things! (Not sexual of course, just crazy things that I don’t have the courage to let you guys know. Well, it’s for us to know and for you guys to find out.). This was the month that I got a new dog and I named her Autumn. Well, my mom and me were arguing about this because she loves to call her Hannah and I think it’s suck so I really fought for the name ‘Autumn’. This was also the month that  first tried viking and piyaya. Greg and I loves to try new things and eat. We love to wander around the city and just try the newest foods in town. We are that ‘adventurous’ lol. This is also the month that Greg’s grandmother died, and we also had the biggest fight. We almost ‘broke up’ (we’re not officially together but... bare with me when I say ‘broke up’ lol) but glad we fixed everything before christmas. This month is really worthy. My Dad came home and bought a lot of presents. My Christmas and my new years eve were really great. This is also the month that I first tried facial, feels like they were murdering my face.
As you can see, my 2016 started bad but I am beyond blessed because it ended really good. Big part of it was probably the people who always believed in me, who never bring me down, who lifted me up and who always support me. I am beyond thankful to  the people who never left, who stayed by my side through thick and thin.
So now, what’s the point of posting this? Well aside from expressing and reminiscing the both good and bad times, I just wanna tell you guys that if you’re experiencing a not so good time today, I want you to know that God has plans for you. Life has a lot of new opportunities, blessings and *insert all the good stuffs in life here* and at the same time, life is f ull of trials, struggles and challenges too. You just need to be strong and wiser. Problems are tough but I am telling you, you are tougher.
Thanks 2016, you were awesome but now I am letting you go. Here’s for a new year with new opportunities, blessings and most of all challenges! I am so excited to face you all because I know that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
God Bless everyone!
0 notes
tortuga-aak · 7 years ago
Text
Here's a super-quick guide to what traders are talking about right now
Thomson Reuters
Dave Lutz, head of ETFs at JonesTrading, has an overview of today's markets.
Today marks the busiest day of earnings season. Check our calendar to see which companies are reporting.
The Spanish IBEX is climbing on hopes that Catalonia tensions are soon to ease.
Aluminum is hitting 5-year highs.
Here's Lutz:
Good Morning, and welcome to the Busiest day of Earnings this season, with 67 S&P500 companies printing.  Markets are quiet right now as we await the ECB (7:45 Headers, 8:30 Presser.  Extend and taper from €60bn/month to €30bn expected) – as well as a slew of Mega-Cap tech after the close.  Bulls are in control early in Europe, where the DAX is up 40bp, but Eyes on the IBEX climbing 1% on Headers Puigdemont will call elections instead of announcing secession.  Italian banks are a fan as well, pulling the EU fin Index up 1% despite Barclays and DB under pressure on #s.   NOK getting smoked has Helsinki off 2% early tho.   Miners climbing small, while Semis are liking the #s from STMicro.  In Asia, Nikkei up 15bp as discretionary rallied - Hang Seng hit for 35bp as Tech was hit for 1% - Shanghai up 30bp - KOSPI weaker with KOSDAQ down 1.4% - Aussie up small, while Sensex is adding to yesterday’s bank induced gains
Ahead of House vote on Budget Later today, the US 10YY is off small as Bunds catch a small bid and Euro holding $1.18 into the ECB Call.  The DXY is flat tho, as sterling retraces lower.  Norway’s Norges Bank and Sweden’s Riksbank have no change, and South Africa’s Rand still getting hit on angst about a ratings downgrade.  Ore off small, Rebar hit for 1% in China has Copper off 30bp, but Zinc and Nickel are in the green, while Aluminum is hitting 5Y highs and Gold drifts around unch.   WTI is up small, but Energy traders are watching Natty gas getting hit for 1% into Inventory data later today.
Read about the 10 things you need to know today...
NOW WATCH: A $1 trillion money manager says the Trump Trade is back
from Feedburner http://ift.tt/2lm3ill
0 notes