#eddie munson is a girl

[sebstanismyspiritanimal]

Here's the first chapter! Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions, it's only beta'd by me so constructive criticism is welcome! However this is a self indulgent fic so I'm playing fast and loose with cannon 😂

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It wasn't often that something could get past the sharp eyed gaze of the BAU's unit chief and shock him, but apparently Erin Strauss had made it her life's mission to do just that.

"We have a full team Erin, I don't understand why you want me to hire another agent." He almost demanded of his boss who just sighed and stood, knowing that an argument wouldn't change matters.

"I realize this Aaron, but the order came from higher than me, Edythe Munson is coming to you today for an interview and it has been sternly suggested that she be the 8th member of your team. She's highly skilled and qualified from what her paperwork suggests so I believe it will be a good fit." Not even waiting for a response that was likely to be another rebuttal, Strauss took her leave. 

Hotch didn't know what the bureau was playing at, last time Strauss had demanded he hire someone it was to spy on him and his team. However this order didn't come from Strauss, it came from the director and to his knowledge the director had a positive outlook on his team.

Hotch was taken out of his contemplation by a quick knock on the door and he stood as he called Edythe Munson to enter.

He allowed his gaze to sweep over the young woman, unsubtly profiling her. She was tall with long, curly dark hair that framed her face. Dark eyes that swept around his office in a way that showed she was looking for exit points and positioned herself accordingly. She carried herself in a way that made Hotch pause, her weight was shifted so that she could easily turn in either direction on a dime, her finger kept curling and uncurling like she was prepared to use them to defend herself, and she had her shoulders tensed like she was preparing for an ambush.

He was a little confused until he remembered the redacted parts of her file, she has been in a special task force in the military, branch unknown. Most of her late teens and early twenties were unknown to the file.

"Sergeant Munson, I'm SSA Aaron Hotchner, please sit."

He gestured his hand out as he sat in his chair, watching as her mouth ticked up to one side as she sat down.

"There's no need for Sergeant, Agent Hotchner, just Munson's fine or even Eddie." Her voice was rough but still feminine, like she had a habit of smoking or even screaming that had roughened her vocal chords.

"Munson then, I'm curious as to why the director of the bureau facilitated this interview." Hotch started, not usually being this direct but he was weary of a new hire, especially one that wasnt chosen by him. One that could very well pose a threat to team he had come to love and protect like his own.

Munson just seemed to smile blandly at him, not answering his non question and looking like she would rather be anywhere else, her eyes still shifting around

"You may speak candidly here, Ms. Munson." He instructed, not wanting to waste time on a candidate who didn't even want the job, his eyes flicked over the stack of paperwork on his desk that he could be working on.

Munson's smile became amused, "I'm afraid candid is not what they want to hear from me, sir. I'm supposed to gush over how much I want this job and how I would be forever in your debt if you give me a chance." Her tone was mocking and biting, like she hated the words coming out of her mouth, her fists were curled again.

"They? I assure you this is a private conversation." Hotchs eyes glanced down into the bullpen where his team was watching the interview, curious absolutely, but not able to hear anything in the room.

"Agent Hotchner, you work in a government office, don't tell me youre naive enough to think your conversations are heard by only the people in this room." Hotch was taken back by the look of sadness and rage in Munson's eyes, where before she looked indifferent and even mocking. When Strauss brought her up to him he had thought she was another politicians daughter that wanted to play at FBI agent, but looking at her now, he knew that she was being forced her as much as he was being forced to hire her. Why would the government want to keep an eye on this veteran?

Hotch felt the paternal side of him reach out to this young woman, not unlike it did for the people in the bullpen that were watching this exchange.

His eyes moved to her file, "It says here you were military, what branch?"

" I'm sorry sir, my military file is classified, I am not allowed to speak about it." Her answer was as bland as her smile now that they were back in neutral territory, the words fed to her and rehearsed most likely.

Hotch had to close his eyes briefly as his heart seemed to chip, he was gaining another member of the team, one that was just as broken and lost as the rest of them, she would fit right in.

"30 day trial period." He said abruptly, making Munson jump slightly.

"You will have 30 days as a full fledged member of the team, you will travel with us and work with us as normal and at the end we will have another meeting where we will evaluate how you are doing and if you are a fit for this team. Does that sound acceptable?"

Munson seemed to sag in relief but her mouth pressed tight together like she was keeping herself from saying something.

"Yes sir, that seems fair." She finally settled on, clearing her throat.

Hotch nodded once and stood, "You will need to keep a go bag on you at all times, we could get a case at a moments notice and you may not have time to pack properly. I can have someone bring you to the 5th floor to get proper credentials -" Munson cut over his sheepishly, "No need Agent Hotchner, I was given a gun and badge this morning." Hotch rocked on his heels slightly, the director seemed hell bent on the fact that even if she didn't stay here she would be going to another team. Aaron Hotchner knew very well that the close bond his team had formed was the anomaly here in the bureau, most teams only came together for big cases, most of them working cases alone unless help was needed. Looking at Munson, Hotch knew he had to keep her here, she could very easily slip thru the cracks of the federal system.

"Very well, Agent Munson, and you can call me Hotch, the rest of the team does." Eddie grinned slightly before sobering up, composing herself in a way that made Hotches heart squeeze in sympathy. Eddie would have a home here with the team, where she wouldn't have to hide the wide grin that she clearly wanted to let out.

"Come on, I'll introduce you to everyone."

[morganbritton132]

AU where Eddie gets all his love advise from the exasperated cop that keeps arresting him only to later learn that Steve is Hopper’s adopted son.

[lazylittledragon]

more t4t steddie because it turns out it wasn't the black mold and i'm still deranged

[ghast1yghosts]

steve takes his little girl to a halloween park—bc SHE begs him to—and she barely flinched at the scares. but the next time she doesn’t react, the scare actor is impressed, already kneeling at her level after dropping down, and offers to a handshake.

before standing up and reaching out for her hand again. the masked actor, covered in blood splatters, starts walking around the street with a little girl in a princess dress in tow.

he makes another guest jump a foot and shriek, then they faux scream just as loud when the little girl spooks them too. after going around to a couple groups, he leads her back to her dad and gestures like he wants her to stay there and just watch him.

steve holds her hips from where he’s sat on a curb, and they both watch the actor run and slide towards another batch of kids, successfully scaring them. he turns after they run away and gives her a big thumbs up and she giggles, steve smiles at him.

they’re probably sat there watching the man do his job, for the very least, a half an hour, when steve figures they should go do some of the last few things at the park before they head home. the actor waves back at them when he notices them get up to go.

somehow they manage to catch the same guy on their way out of the park. the freaky dude slides right in front of his little girl, and she doesn’t even register the hand up for a high-five and she gives him a little hug. it’s all incredibly cute. she starts off towards the gate again, and steve turns around to the guy, quickly taking him “thank you.” its all he can manage. it’s hard keeping her at her happiest, and this guy made her whole week.

he hears a mumbled “‘course,” as he starts walking backwards, towards his daughter. needing to jog to catch her, he hears a quiet laugh once he’s got her hand.

idk scare actor eddie making steve’s daughter happy

[pretttylitttleliarr]

i’m not talking about the little blurbs no i’m talking about chapters long. if you find any good ones pls lmk !

[lillypad910]

Such a Good Girl

Dom! Eddie Munson x Sub! Girly! Reader

Warnings: (not pre-read well, apologize for some errors, I wrote his half awake) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! smut, fingering, oral (f & m receiving), piv, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap), bit of fluff, reader is an "innocent" slut (I'm not sorry about it), pet names (Bunny, Baby), Kinks (breeding, sub/dom relationship, reader has a pile of stuffed animal that he literally fucks her on, have fun lol)

Summary: Eddie sneaks into your window to find you getting ready for bed. But he was other plans for your evening.

A/n: I wrote this half asleep and it is pure filth. I haven't written smut in a HOT minute and this was me kind of getting a practice run to write the smut for a later fic with a certain character reader I fear people are BEGGING from this blog. Enjoy!

If you wanna be tagged when I post ask or comment telling me so!

All Pics from Pinterest!

Eddie parks his car down the road, not wanting to alarm your parents with his van sitting outside. He walks all the way up to your house, jumping your white picket fence and making his way towards the backyard. He knows which window is yours, having snuck in a few times before. He climbs up the lattice on the side of the brick wall of your house, making his way up to your window. He places his feet firmly on the roof that sticks out, looking into your window.

There you are, his beautiful sweet girl, brushing your hair at your vanity. Your cute flowy nightgown makes you look like you stepped right out of a 1960’s magazine. Your window is open a bit, letting in the cool air of the night.

He knocks on the glass, startling you a bit and almost making your drop your hair brush. You turn and immediately smile at him. You walk over and open the window more, letting the rocker inside. “Hi, Eddie.” You giggle as he stumbles in, nearly tripping over your lace curtains. “Hi, sweetheart.” He straightens himself out before closing the window, “you look cute.” Your cheeks flush a bit at the compliment. You aren’t used to compliments yet, but Eddie is determined to make sure you know your worth.

“I’m sorry for coming so late, were you about to go to bed?” He asks, glancing over at the pink comforter with multiple stuffed animals on it. You shake your head, climbing onto the bed and grabbing one of the plushies, holding them close to your heart. It was one he got you, a little bunny with big floppy ears, Mr Flospy is what you named him.

Eddie sits on the edge of the bed, reaching over and pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “I don’t wanna keep you up, Princess, you need your beauty sleep.” You look up at him, your eyes glistening a bit in the light from your bedside lamp. “But you just got here…” Eddie smiles and holds out his arms, and you immediately tackle him in a hug, Mr Flopsy still in your arms. “I don’t want you to go, please stay.” You nuzzle your nose into his neck, and he hums, enjoying the feeling. “Bunny,” the nickname earns a whimper from you, it’s your favorite, “you said you want me to stay?” He clarifies, leaning you back into your stuffies. You nod, holding Mr Flopsy to your chest.

“Bunny,” Eddie leans over you and kisses your forehead, “have you been a good girl?” You nod again, your thighs pressing together. “Use your words, sweetheart.” “Y-Yes… I’ve been a good girl…!” Eddie loves these moments, your cheeks flushed and beautiful eyes blown. “Hmm,” he leans down and kisses your soft pink lips, he can tell you have on a cherry chapstick. He kisses you a few times, earning little whimpers from you, before moving down your jaw and neck.

“E-Eddie…” you grip at his vest, legs already getting shaky and he hasn’t even done anything other than kiss you. “Bunny, relax, you’re working yourself up.” He runs his palms over your thighs, securing his hips in between them. “Such a pretty girl,” he nibbles a bit at your collarbone, earning a gasp from you, “Quiet, sweetheart, don’t want your parents hearing their little girl being a total slut, do you?” You glance away from him, the blush on your cheeks expanding out to your ears. He knows what you like, what you need.

He lifts your nightgown a little rubbing his ringed fingers over your panties. You grip his arm, not wanting him to pull away. His fingers dip under the fabric, beginning to rub circles over your clit. You swear he can do what ever he wants to you, you’d obey everything he told you to do gladly if this was the reward.

Eddie sighs into you ear, watching you twitch at the attention he’s giving your most sensitive place. His hot breath on your skin makes you shiver, along with the soft but firm circles his fingers dance over your clit. You feel your breath catch, a knot already forming in your stomach. “E-Eddie…”

“God, you’re so easy…” Eddie moves his hand a little lower into your underwear, slowly inserting two fingers in see to you. You grip his arm tighter, a soft gasp leaving your lips that makes him smirk. “What? What is it, Baby…? Fuck, are you drooling?” He places his free hand under your chin and whips away the bit of saliva that leaks from the corner of your mouth, watching you begin to pant a bit just from his fingers curling inside you.

You moan, your hand smacking against your mouth to muffle it. Eddie only smiles wider at this, removing his hand from your underwear, getting you to pout. He’s quick to remove the garment, sliding it down your legs then dropping it over the side of your bed. He places his hands on your thighs, spreading your legs so he can see all of you.

“Fuck, Bunny, you’re dripping.” He lowers himself down, leaving soft kisses down on your abdomen. “So needy,” he kisses lower and lower, before leaving one right on your clit, earning another moan from you.

You reach down and tangle your fingers in his hair as he finally places his mouth to your cunt. God the feeling…

“E-Eddie…!” One hand moves to shove two fingers back inside you as his tongue laps around. He’s learned your body, what you like, and how to work it.

He buries his head into your cunt, sucking on your clit as his fingers pump inside you. You wreath at the feeling, lifting your hips off your bed from the pleasure. He takes this as encouragement, wrapping his other arm under you and moving his fingers faster.

It doesn’t take long before you’re shaking, oozing all over his face. He pulls away and pushes your legs up as he gets closer once more, pressing his clothed crotch to your soaked cunt.

“Fuck, you feel that, Bunny?” Of course you do, his large, hard cock fighting to get out of his pants as he grinds against you. “Do you want me to fuck you?” His question is rhetorical but you still answer anyways. “Please… E-Eddie, please…”

He unbuttons his pants, yanking them down and tossing them away, then the same with his boxers. His cock springs free, earning a soft gasp from you.

God, it looks so good…

“You’re drooling again, Bunny.” But this time he doesn’t wipe away the spit, instead he pulls away from you all together. “Do you wanna suck it?”

You don’t even hesitate as you push yourself out of the pile of stuffed animals, crawling onto your stomach in front of him. You grab his cock, immediately shoving your face into his crotch. He groans as you lick up his shaft, your nose taking in the musky scent. “That’s it, Bunny.”

You take the tip of his dick in your mouth, not wanting to wait anymore. You have to open your mouth a bit wider to fit him, but you love to do so. Eddie combs his fingers into your hair before gripping a chunk, “come on, Bunny, you can do better than that.” He slowly pushes your head down, which you happily take.

Before long your nose is brushing into his hair, his cock deep in your throat as it twitches. You’re drooling so much. You moan, sucking his cock as you hollow your cheeks. You move your tongue skillfully, just like he trained you.

“You’re doing so good, Bunny. Just like that. Such a good girl.” He moved his hips back before thrusting forward, earning a throaty moan from you. You try not to gag, angling yourself just right to where he’s not agitating it.

He thrusts into your mouth again, making your thighs press together. You begin to bob your head with his thrusts, pairing it perfectly so that when he slams back in, you push your head against him too. He gets a bit rough, beginning to thrust faster and harder until you can control the angle anymore. You gag, but don’t pull away, honestly you can’t. His hand holds your head down as he uses your throat like a toy.

And then he yanks you off, your throat sore as you try to catch your breath. He shoves you back into your stuffed animals, before grabbing your legs and lifting them up to your head. You blush, embarrassed at this position. But you don’t have long to think about it before he’s climbing on top of you and rubbing his dick along you.

“Eds…” you moan out as you feel his tip press to your cunt. He wraps his arms around you, locking you in place, before thrusting his hips forward, his cock going deep inside you.

You gasp, your mind blanking as he begins to thrust hard and faster, using your cunt for his own pleasure. You moan, your bed squeaking as you take his cock. “Look at you, taking my cock so well.” He mumbles into your ear.

You pant as you feel him twitch inside you, your cunt already becoming sore from the abusive thrusts. But you don’t care, how could you? Your pussy is being used for what it was made for.

You cum hard on his cock, squeezing around him until you see stars but he doesn’t stop. If anything he’s thrusting harder, pounding you in as you become a panting, moaning mess.

He’s fucking you stupid.

“Such a good girl, taking my dick so deep.” His cock pistons in and out of you, your mind foggy as you just take it. You have to be good and just take it, or you won’t get your reward.

He groans as his thrusts get sloppy, hitting certain angles that’s has you wreathing. “Eddie!”

He’s quick to silence you, one hand quickly wrapping around your throat and giving a good solid squeeze that has you coming undone on his cock again. “I’m gonna fucking breed you.” He groans into your ear. “Gonna fill you up just how you want, fuck you full.”

You’re gasping for air as you cum on his cock again, but this time, he thrusts a few more times before he finally thrusts deep inside you one last time. You feel the warmth of his cum gush inside you, moaning at the feeling. You need him, you need him to fucking ruin you. Imagine what people would say if he got you pregnant? Your family would be furious…

You hope he did.

You both sit there for a while, basking in the post sex glow. He’s collapsed on top of you, pinning you still to your bed. You don’t mind, your arms wrapped around him as his cock is still buried inside you.

He kisses you lovingly, smothering you in them as you giggle. “You’re so pretty,” his voice is horse, but you understand him well enough.

You snuggle into his neck, still a bit dazed. “I love you.” The words slip out so effortlessly, but of course they do. It’s Eddie.

“I love you,” he smiles into your hair, nuzzling into the strands.

Then you hear a door down the hall open. The hall light flicks on. Eddie scurries off you, grabbing his clothes off the floor and hiding behind the door. You wobbly get up from the bed, but you don’t have time to put on your underwear before a knock comes from your door.

“Sweetie? You alright?” Your dad calls from the other side. You take a deep breath, straightening your 60’s nightgown so it’s just covering you. You open the door just enough to pop your head out. “Yes, Dad?” You smile at the older man, trying to put on this innocent look.

“Are you alright?” He goes to lift his hand, placing it against your forehead, “You feel warm, are you catching a fever?” “Oh, no, I…” you try to think of something quick, “I just had a nightmare. Sorry if I woke you.”

You feel Eddie’s cum starting to drip out of your used cunt, and you try to press your legs together a bit to stop it.

“Are you sure? Do you need some water?” He looks over your face once more. “No, no, really, I’m good. Go back to bed, Dad. I’ll see you in the morning.” You give him a smile and he nods before walking off again. You shut your door slowly, hearing it click into the hold.

“Well,” Eddie comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you, “You need to be more quiet next time.” You go to turn around but he stops you, holding you in place in front of him. “Oh, Bunny,” he trails his hand down your front, “you’re letting too much out, we can’t have that.”

Oh tonight’s on a be a long night.

Tag List!

If you wanna be tagged on future posts, please send me an ask or comment!

@cagethemunson

@cherrycolas-things

@spikeybatt

@r-a-d-i-0-n-0-w-h-e-r-e

[arelliann]

This one goes out to @corrodedbisexual for the ref and idea because I couldn't resist having a go

[hairmetal666]

They start kissing on stage as a joke.

The night before the first time, they're at an afterparty, pounding shots, and Eddie is reading aloud a piece that just came out in Rolling Stone. "'One of the most noteworthy parts of Munson and Harrington's unlikely pairing is their chemistry on stage. It's like these two men--one on his way to being the latest metal god, the other an indie rock wunderkind--are two parts of one musical whole. Their singing, their playing, even their bodies twine and flow with assuredness; where one goes, the other follows without question. They share a single brain-cell and that cell is music'."

Steve giggles, pours some more Grey Goose into the glass. "If they say that now, could you imagine what would happen if we, like, kissed on stage or something."

"What the fuck, Harrington?" Eddie splutters, having just thrown a drink back.

"I don't know, other bands do it!"

Eddie snorts. "I'm cutting you off." He reaches for the bottle and the suggestion is forgotten for wrestling over the liquor.

Steve barely remembers it in the morning. Doesn't think about it at all as he gets ready to go out on stage.

They're playing one of the instrumental breakdowns when it happens. They're leaning into each other, Eddie smiling over his shoulder at him, their eyes locked, bodies moving together. "You wanna?" Eddie mouths at him.

Steve nods before the question actually registers and by then Eddie's warm, soft mouth is against his and he just-- completely forgets what he's doing. His hands still on the guitar strings, and he melts a little, going completely boneless when Eddie grips the back of his head, pulls him deeper into the kiss. t's over almost as quickly as it started, Eddie pulling away and swirling to the mic to start the next verse.

The kiss sinks into Steve's bones, and that's before it becomes a regular feature of their performances. After that night, they're never at the same time during the show, all initiated by Eddie, all over before he can catch his breath; each one chaste and surrounded by people but somehow more intimate than any make out.

He and Eddie, they're friends, bandmates, collaborators. They've known each other since they first started out, forging an immediate connection with they stumbled upon each other hiding out in the garden at some industry bigwig's party. And as much as he loved his friend, never once in that time had Steve considered wanting Eddie.

But now, now he falls asleep with the ghost of Eddie on his lips, goes into each show with a thrum of anticipation, catches himself thinking how beautiful his friend is when he's all rumpled and disheveled from a night in the tour bus bunks.

They've always been easy with physical affection, but once the kissing starts they're constantly in each other's space, idly playing with hair, laying across laps, heads on shoulders, twisting together on the tour bus couch. Steve is ruined with every touch, every moment; he can't get enough.

The first time Eddie uses tongue destroys every last piece of Steve's composure. They've added a new song to the setlist, a remixed version of Eddie's hit "Prince Charming". It's hard, heavy, sexy, one of Steve's favorites. And in the middle of it, right in the middle, Eddie shoves him against a low platform, kisses him like he's trying to own him, tongues twining eager and wet and full of sinful promise. It's like that every show after, Eddie kissing him deep and thorough, like he's trying to lick up every drop of Steve.

He is, unquestionably, fucked. Unquestionably falling. Can't properly fathom how he'd gotten himself here, desperate for Eddie's kiss, as performative as it may be.

They're packing up equipment after a show. Eddie's hair is piled in a messy bun and Steve is trying not to blatantly stare at the curve of his neck, the stray curls against his pale skin. Eddie's gesturing at something, says, "Can you grab those cords, swee--Steve?" He hands them over without thought, notices that Eddie's face is shining red. He's called away to deal with packing the guitars, forgets all about it, but at their next show, Eddie doesn't kiss him.

They don't talk about it.

Eddie doesn't try to kiss him again.

A week after Eddie stops the kiss, they have a night off between shows. He needs to get out of his head, goes out with Robin. He gets back fairly early, but all the lights are off in the bus. It makes him panic in a way it shouldn't; they've always done their own things. Still, he rushes on board, flips on the lights, his absurd heart beating too hard.

Eddie is curled up on the couch, face pressed to the pillows and covered with his hands. The panic kicks up a notch.

"Eddie?" He steps closer, slowly reaching out to grip Eddie's shoulder.

He jerks upright, earbuds slipping free, phone sliding down his hip. "Steve?"

His face is wet, tears actively slipping free from his eyes as Steve watches.

"What happened? Are you hurt?" His hands flutter around Eddie's arms and face, searching for bruises or wounds.

"I'm fine, Harrington," he chokes out. "Though you were out with Robin?"

"Yeah, I was, but Chrissy called. You know how useless she gets. But that doesn't--you--you're crying. What's wrong?"

Eddie's smile is a wobbly little thing, refusing to stick on his face. "Oh, you know, the usual. Fell for the wrong guy."

Steve forces down the gut churning hurt at hearing that Eddie's in love with someone, intent on comforting his friend. He tries to slip his arm around Eddie's shoulders, but Eddie shrugs him off. It jostles Eddie's phone again, slipping it toward Steve and activating the screen. He has a split second where he's looking at the cover of his own first album, before Eddie's snatching it out of reach, scrambling up from the couch.

"I'm fine." He swipes his sleeve over his face. "It's nothing."

And Steve is putting it all together, the being in love and listening to Steve's music, the kissing and how it ended.--

"Eddie." He sounds all wrong, choked and garbled.

Eddie doesn't turn around, is stuffing his feet into his boots. "I'm--I gotta go clear my head."

He walks towards the door and Steve just--"I've been obsessed with you since the first kiss," he says. Eddie stops, hand curled against the door. "We've been friends all this time and I didn't--I never realized. And then we kissed and--it's all I've been able to think about."

Eddie turns then, facing him, expression unreadable."Steve, what are you--"

"I love you. I'm in love with you." It comes out fast, all jumbled, but he can't stand Eddie leaving, not now.

"You--?" Eddie blinks, bites his lip. "That's not possible."

Steve smiles, can't help it. "It is, though. Turns out, I can't get enough."

Their eyes lock; neither speaks. Steve's heart pounds so hard it might spring free of his chest. Eddie moves first, crosses the small distance between them to pull Steve into his arms.

It's not a kiss, but Steve buries his face against Eddie's neck, breathing him in, feeling the echo to the pound of his own heart. "How long?" Steve asks.

Eddie's soft laugh vibrates through him. "Since I saw you walking in that garden and thought, 'jesus christ, Prince Charming is real'."

Steve pulls away to stare at Eddie in disbelief. "But that's--your--the song?"

"They're kinda all about you, Stevie. But that one most of all." Eddie whispers. His eyes glisten.

"Fuck, Eddie." He doesn't mean to whine, but he's not in control of his voice anymore. "I'm sorry I didn't--" He shakes his head. "I'm all yours, Ed. Whatever you want."

Eddie's thumb catches against Steve's bottom lips, eyes transfixed on his mouth. "Everything, sweetheart. I want it all."

[skepsiss]

Eddie can't flirt, but Steve's brain has been rewired to find the most insane shit in the world interesting, and Eddie hasn't said anything normal since he met him.

Eddie, trying to flirt: .... I know how to juggle Steve: Go on..... -later- Steve: And then he messed up like 12 times in a row Robin: And? Steve: And I think I'm in love with him.

[sweatycreature]

Greek Mythology AU where Eddie is a sculptor working in Aphrodite’s temple. He was tasked with creating a series of statues depicting the goddess, her children, and six imaginary courtesans to decorate the gardens. The first few courtesan statues are undeniably beautiful, but they don’t even come close to the last one’s beauty. The people coming to the temple to leave sacrifices to gain Aphrodite’s favor, start to leave smaller offerings to the sixth courtesan as well. His statue is surrounded by flowers and fruits at all times, and he’s named ’Star-eyed Lover’ saying his beauty is equal to Aphrodite’s. The Goddess hears about the comparison and sees the offerings, that should be for her, she is not too happy and she goes down to destroy the statue under the cover of the night. In the garden tho she’s not alone, a man is sitting in front of the Star-eyed Lover, reading to the statue. Eddie, raised in a town close to Delphi, the temple of Apollo met all sorts of art and mastered some of it. One of these was the art of music, which he rediscovered thanks to the sculptor of the last courtesan, who became a muse for him. He dedicated all his songs to him, writing them in the garden of Aphrodite, where he sat day and night. Aphrodite, hearing the beautiful songs Eddie wrote, decided to reward his talent for creating such beautiful things. She breathed life into the statue. The Star-eyed Lover aka Steve embraces his maker and one true admirer and they live happily ever after.

[sebstanismyspiritanimal]

Here's chapter four! This one is a little awkward, I'm not good at writing cases and idk how to solve them so i kept the case out of it as much as possible 😂 but we get a cameo from Max! In my head the CB radio is bc obviously walkie talkies are the parties main mode of communication but obviously that wouldn't work over several states but they're jaded from government spying so they don't wanna use cellphones. So Dustin and Lucas rigged up a CB that can do that! Idk if that possible but hey sci-fi.

I'll probably be adding this to ao3 soon bc I finished writing chapter five, I will continue to post over here unless people just tell me they want to link for each new chapter instead of the whole one

As always here's chapter 3 if you missed it!

Eddie Munson is acutely aware of the fact that she did not go to and graduate the FBI academy, or any academy for that matter. Honestly, she hadn't been worried about it until Hotch sent her and JJ to talk to the families of the victims and she quickly realized that she had zero idea of what she was doing.

"Mrs. Barlow, I know how difficult this is for you, but any information you can give us can help." They were seated across Lucy's sister-in-law, the one that had reported her missing and the woman was crying into a tissue at her kitchen table.

The woman took a shuddering breath and nodded, "Okay."

JJ glanced to the side in an awkward way and cleared her throat, "Was Lucy involved in drugs, in anyway?"

Tammy- the sister in law grimaced and nodded, "She had problems as a teenager but she was sober! I met her brother when she was 25 and she was already 2 years clean. Why? Do you think someone from her past did this?"

JJ leaned forward and as gently as possible broke the news that Lucy's cause of death was of a heroin overdose. Eddie flinched as the effect of the words was immediate.

"How dare you?! Lucy was sober! She wouldn't give that up after this long!" Eddie leaned forward and clapsed Tammy's hand before she could jump to her feet.

"Ma'am, I understand that this is difficult and that Lucy took great pride in her sobriety. She was probably a sponsor for other people too right?" At Tammy's nod Eddie smiled and continued, "We aren't suggesting that Lucy willingly took these drugs and I know that by you entertaining our questions it seems like you are letting Lucy down, but Tammy we need your help. There is another woman missing and the clock is ticking for us to find her before someone else gets hurt."

JJ and Eddie held their breath waiting for Tammy's response, hoping they weren't about to be kicked out.

After what felt like an eternity Tammy slumped in her chair and raised a hand to her face, "Okay, what do you need to know?"

At JJ's encouraging look, Eddie continued the questions. "Was there a recent event in Lucy's life that could make a dealer able to lure her somewhere? A breakup? Maybe a job loss?" They watched as Tammy pressed a hand to her mouth and let out another sob before nodding, "She had just broken up with her girlfriend of 8 years, Lucy had discovered she was having an affair."

JJ and Eddie quickly finished up their interview before leaving the house, not wanting to make the family's grief worse.

2 hours later they were walking into the station to update everyone on what they had found out.

"Lucy Barlow was a recovering heroin addict and had been sober for 11 years and had just recently found out her girlfriend of 8 years was having an affair." JJ smoothly took over for Eddie, "Andrea Lakes has been a sober alcoholic for the last 7 years and just recently got laid off from her law firm. They were both sponsors too."

The others were silent as they took in the new connection the girls had found out from the families.

"So the unsub might have been able to lure them away to a secondary location using the promise of drugs and alcohol?"

"After five years the chance of a relapse decreases to 15%." Reid said contradicting Morgan's theory, but making Eddie perk up.

"You're right, with all of the years of sobriety breaking it is uncommon, but not unheard of and both of them were sponsors for many other people. What if they were going to meetings? New people are coming and going to those all of the time, it wouldn't be unusual to see new faces and with both of them sponsors, approaching these new people would be expected."

They spent the next couple of hours bouncing ideas and leads around the room before Hotch called it a night, leading them back to the hotel.

Hotch talked at the front desk for close to 5 minutes before sullenly walking back to the group.

"So there is apparently a cheer competition in town and they are running low on rooms. We're going to have to pair up." The group groaned before getting into usual pairs when they realized they were uneven with Eddie on the team now.

Hotch grimaced realizing that he was going to have to put her with one of the guys, or make one of the girls share a bed.

"Are you comfortable sharing with Reid or would you rather share a bed with one of the other girls?" He questioned making Eddie shrug, obviously unconcerned.

"I've slept in worse conditions than having to listen to Spencer snore. Can't be worse than Russia in December." The snoring comment made Reid squawk in protest before everyone jumped on the Russia comment, complaining when Eddie wouldn't give up any more info on the walk to the rooms.

---------------------------------------------------

Spencer was startled awake a few hours later by a loud bang. He rolled over in bed and went to reach for the bedside lamp when he saw Eddie's silhouette at the lit up window instead of in bed.

"Eddie?" He questioned, sleep roughing up his voice.

"It was just a car backfiring, Spence, go back to sleep." She murmured back not turning away from the window. Spencer watched as she palmed something into her pocket, a silver flash of something before it disappeared.

Spencer glanced around the room, taking note of the chair pulled back from the table in the corner and an old CB radio with weird wires and a pack attached sitting on the table.

Spencer was debating if he should say something when the radio crackled to life.

"Eddie?" A whispered female voice came thru the speaker and Spencer saw Eddie glance at him as he hurriedly shut his eyes, hoping she thought he had just gone back to sleep.

"I'm here Max."

He heard her whisper and the same voice whispered something he couldn't quite make out back before he really did fall back asleep.

[morganbritton132]

How else has Steve used crying on demand for evil?

Eddie, shouting: Stevie, C’mere! The people want to know what evil you use your crying powers for

Steve: Uh…when I was a kid, my parents-

Eddie, immediately regretting asking if its going to bring up his parents: Oh god

Steve: So like my parents always wanted us to be perfect when we were out in public. Especially at benefits for the mayor and

Steve, tearing up: If your eyes get a little watery

Steve, lip wobbling: And you do that I’m-about-to-cry thing with your bottom lip

Steve, voice cracking: And your voice breaks just a little when you talk

Steve, going back to not looking like he’s about to cry: You get the big slice of chocolate cake with chocolate icing that you wanted and no one complains about it being messy until after you get home.

Eddie: That’s not using your powers for evil. That’s getting one over on people that suck. That’s a good thing.

Steve: One time I was mad at Tommy so I went to his house when he wasn’t there and bawled my eyes out to his mom and said he was being mean to me even though he wasn’t, and then he couldn’t go on the end of year field trip in sixth grade.

Steve: I had my first kiss on that trip

Eddie: With who?

Steve:

Steve: His wife

[tubesock86]

winter blues

[roanniom]

First Date

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, heavy petting, groping, slight hand job, dry humping

You both try to go slow, it's your first date after all. But it’s not as easy as it sounds when his hands are wandering and your lips are on his neck. Eddie has the top of your dress pulled down (he’d groaned dramatically when he realized you weren’t wearing a bra) and his body leans over yours, your thighs on either side of his hips and your back on the couch.

You knew you weren’t going all the way, but you’d told him he could take his jeans off. It was a selfish ask. It made it so that you could feel him better when you rubbed against him.

You suck lightly on his earlobe and Eddie gasps.

“Oh fuck.”

“Yeah?” you ask breathily, more tease than you would have guessed yourself capable of. He chuckles but it is half pant.

"Yeah."

You kiss his earlobe again, grazing your teeth lightly over the shell.

"I need to fuck you," he mutters, though he pulls back and away from your mouth. Eddie looks down at you with hazy. "But we're not fucking tonight, so I need a second to get my shit together."

While he takes a breath, he sits back on his heels, your legs still around his hips. He rests his hands heavy on your thighs and looks down at you in your amused, debauched state. It's absolutely not helping him calm down. Neither is the fact that he can't stop his hands from sliding up and squeezing over your exposed breasts.

"Fuck," Eddie mutters as he watches the supple flesh give and spill around his large fingers. His audible frustration makes you let out a giggle, and you notice that his cock twitches in his boxers at the sound. The sight has you ready to end this break, so you push him so that he's sitting against the back of the couch, clambering up to straddle him.

"You're hot," you mumble before kissing your way from his jaw to his lips. Your hand slides down his chest to rest on his abdomen. He cants his hips upward and the tip of his clothed cock taps your hand, obviously encouraging you to grasp it through the fabric. So of course you do.

"Shit, no you're hot."

You bite your lip to keep from arguing with him. He's calling you hot and if you're honest with yourself, you've never felt hotter than you do right now with his hands all over you, so you decide to go with it. Eddie hangs his head so he can watch you jerk him slowly through his boxers. It's hot and hard in your palm and you're sure to rub your thumb over the mushroom head, pleased to feel a little bit of sticky precum bleed through the cloth.

This is absolutely not what you'd assumed would happen when you agreed to spontaneously go on this first date earlier today. You'd guessed you would, at best, enjoy some good conversation and company. You hadn't anticipated agreeing to go back to his place after just a few drinks, but holy fuck are you glad that's the direction the night took.

It's not long before Eddie's hand drops over the back of yours, stopping your motion over his member.

"Baby...you're killing me. We might need to stop," he grunts. Contrary to his words, his hand continues to guide yours up and down his cock, making you laugh. Eddie's eyes flash up to yours in amusement.

"What's so funny?" he asks. You shake your head but keep laughing, so Eddie takes the opportunity to push you onto your back again. His hand cups between your legs, fingers pressing over where your clit should be. You lift your hips to seek out more friction, though you know it's a useless pursuit with how snug and thick your stockings are.

"Right there?" Eddie asks, pressing more pointedly. Your roll your hips, impatient.

"Yeah...under layers," you joke. His hand worms into the tight control panel waistband of your stockings so he can play with the top of your panties.

"You know," he says casually, as if his hand isn't between your legs making you melt. "I could go down on you."

You blink up at him.

"Huh?"

"I could go down on you," Eddie repeats, leaning down over you to kiss your neck. "If you want."

When you don't reply, Eddie pulls back to gauge your reaction. It spurs you to speak up.

"Nobody's ever done that before," you say quietly. Eddie continues to swirl his finger over the top of your panties, but the movement is gentle.

"Really?" he asks, voice colored with disbelief. You shrug and try not to show that you're embarrassed by the inexperience you're projecting. Eddie's having none of it. "I'd go down on you, baby."

You surge up then at his words and pull him into another deep kiss. It's all tongue and teeth with your hands in his hair, tugging hard. Eddie's hand pulls out of the waistband of your stockings so he can grip and grab at you wildly in response.

You do it so that it can distract him from the offer he was making. Because there's nothing you wanted more than to let him rip your stockings off your body and put that talented tongue to use at your apex. But you had promised yourself that - even if you were going to hook up pretty intensely - you weren't going to have sex on this first date.

Eddie finally pulls back to let you breathe, which you do with a gasp, and he rests his sweaty forehead to yours.

"Probably better not. If I go down on you...I'm pretty sure we'll end up fucking."

He says it with a smug grin on his face. Pure confidence that makes you laugh and want to contradict him, but you absolutely know the man is correct.

"Yeah, I guess that's right."

Eddie sits back up to give you room to do the same. You both sit facing the long dark television to catch your breath. Out of the corner of your eye you notice Eddie has his hand on his still hard dick, stroking softly. He catches you looking and shoots you a grin.

"Sorry, I'm so fucking tuned on." He's saying sorry but his thighs are manspread performatively and it's very clear he likes you watching him. Just as much as he likes watching your breasts bounce as you laugh and lean forward to kiss the tattoo on his pec. You rest your head against his shoulder so you can watch him touch himself for another few minutes before you sigh.

"I think I have to leave before I end up doing what I really want to do."

Eddie groans and stills his hand, moving it up instead to cradle your jaw, turning you towards him for one more lingering kiss.

"Let me call you a cab," he says against your lips and you nod.

While you run to the bathroom to adjust your dress and make sure it doesn't look like you'd just dry humped Eddie Munson for an hour, the man in question puts his jeans back on. You walk out to find him adjust his still hard cock in the confines of the garment, wincing.

"Alright there, champ?" you ask him with a grin. The cab honks its arrival out front.

"I will be jerking off the minute you leave, just know," he says matter-of-factly as he leads you out the door. "I don't know if girls need to do that, but I'm pretty much gonna die if I can't cum after all that."

He says it good-naturedly and for once in all of your dating life, you don't feel pressured or shamed. Just extremely flattered to have this kind of effect on him.

At the bottom of his front step you turn and place a hand on the side of his neck and pull him down closer to you.

"I don't need to make myself cum. But I'm definitely going to," you whisper into his ear before running off to the cab, sparing him one cheeky look over your shoulder so you can bask in his dumbfounded expression.

~*~

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Hope you enjoyed! Please let me know if you did!

[whathehonestfuk]

Steddie s first kid is a boy, they're out with him and he starts having a meltdown/throwing a tantrum as kids do and some mom with a couple kids in tow come up and makes some comment about 'dad babysitting' completely ignoring the other one and starts trying to help calm the kid down by telling him things like 'big boys don't cry'

They're both like fuck all the way off with that shit he's a kid and a person he's allowed emotions and express them

[queenimmadolla]

𝐄𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐝

Summary: A glimpse into Eddie’s morning as a first time and young dad with his baby. Oh, and you’re there, too.

Warnings: allusions to sexy stuff, descriptions of breastfeeding (it’s natural—suck it up), and fluff.

a/n: pulled this one out of the vault for you guys, written last July. hope you like it!

Eddie’s up before you and surprised to see it’s light outside, a sight he hasn’t woken up to in the last couple of months. Two, to be exact.

  That’s when the two of you had brought Penny home.

  Eddie yawned, impressively loud before he slapped a hand over his mouth, gaze flickering to you but you were still asleep; on your stomach with your face partially hidden in your pillow. You’d successfully kicked the sheets off yourself in your sleep, leaving your legs bare and your top half covered with one of Eddie’s larger shirts. 

  One of your legs was bent at the knee and raised up near your elbow.

  God, you always looked so fucking delectable. All he’d have to do is rouse you with some kisses pressed to your neck, settle himself behind you, pull his boxers down and move your panties to the side and he could just—

  Eddie inhaled sharply, tearing his gaze away from your body before his blood could rush off to an area he didn’t have the time to acknowledge, as the very reason he couldn’t partake in his little fantasy cooed from her crib. 

  She’d been the result of a very similar event.

  He took a couple of moments to calm himself, squeezing his eyes shut as he promised, soon.

  Then he got out of bed, snagging a band t-shirt from the dresser as he walked to the crib on the other end of the room.

  Eddie yanked on the shirt—only briefly struggling with the arm holes—before he was peering into the crib, mouth breaking out in a megawatt grin.

  Penny was awake alright, big brown eyed stare focused on a sticker that had been plastered to the wall of his room long before she was even conceived. You’d swaddled her before putting her to bed last night, so she looked like an adorable, content burrito.

  Once she realized Eddie was hovering over her, the sticker lost her attention and those big beautiful eyes were on him, sparkling as her mouth parted in a gummy smile big enough to rival his own. 

  Daddy came to rescue her from confinement. 

  “Hi, baby, good morning!” Eddie cooed, trying his best to excitedly whisper so as to not disturb you, but he couldn’t help it. He was still so thrilled—and fucking terrified—to be a dad, to have that cute face peering up at him every morning and waiting for him when he got home from work. She always looked at him like he was the greatest thing to walk the earth, always so delighted to see her daddy.

  Even though she’d start crying for you the moment you came into view—but you had an advantage he lacked, you always had her food on you. Her walking meal ticket.

  And Eddie couldn’t even blame her, he was a huge fan of your boobs and he’d even bet he appreciated them more than Penny. 

  Eddie reached into the crib, tugging the tucked in corner of the blanket out and as the blanket around her loosened, Penny’s arms shot up near her head, her tiny body arching as she stretched for a comically long period of time. Eddie chuckled, using it to his advantage, he slipped an arm behind her back and head with the other supporting her bottom as he picked her up, pressing a kiss to her head (and giving her hair a secret little sniff to get a whiff of that baby scent of hers).

  “Did you sleep good, honey?” He cradled her in one arm, tucked close to his chest as he carried her out of the room to start on breakfast. 

  Penny obviously didn’t answer, head resting against his collarbone.

  “Heard you woke up mom last night—well, early this morning, I guess—with boobie demands.”

  Eddie pulled the fridge open, hovering in front of it as he debated on its contents before selecting the cartridge of eggs.

  He didn’t want to put Penny down, happy to have her curled up in his arms, so a simple breakfast would have to do. A pan was pulled out, so was a little bit of cooking oil and soon Eddie was breaking the eggs out of the shell—angling his body to the side so Penny wasn’t at risk of possible oil splash back—and letting them cook.

  “You like eggs?” Eddie asked, stepping a little ways from the stove as he hitched her higher on his chest and held the eggshells out for her to see.

  She kicked her legs, a roll covered arm shakily reaching out towards the shells but Eddie kept them out of her reach.

  “Uh-uh, no sticky fingers for you, young lady.”

  The shells were tossed in the trash can but Penny didn’t care, twisting her upper so her chest was pressed to his. She gripped his shirt loosely in her chunky fist as she leaned forward and mouthed at his shoulder, effectively soaking the area with her drool before she began to suckle.

  “Jesus, you act like we starve you.” Eddie chuckled, reaching for a recently washed pacifier to pop into her mouth.

  She seemed to prefer it over his shirt, doing a full body sigh once she was suckling on it, with her need partially sated (eddie knew he had about fifteen minutes to wrap up breakfast before she realized nothing was coming from it and would start crying), Penny went back to cuddling into his chest. 

  She was starting to be a little more active—not sleeping as much as she did this time last month but for the most part, her movements were still unstable. She had good neck control (you’d had to pin Eddie down to keep him from picking her up when she’d immediately cry upon being put down for tummy time), she liked to kick her legs like she was about to take off for a marathon, but she still couldn’t quite hold things for long (unless it was hair or fingers) and had yet to roll over without you cheating and nudging her the rest of the way.

  Speaking of making Penny do things…

  Eddie lost to his intrusive thought, rearranging his hold on Penny so he was gently grasping her sides as he placed her feet on the counter. Immediately, she popped down to squat before shooting up again. And then she did it once more, getting comfortable with using her legs.

  She didn’t even seem to wonder why Eddie was making her stand, she was more focused on staring intensely at her own feet.

  Then Eddie made her jump, lifted her up and down and up and down, and when that got her smiling wide enough for her pacifier to fall out of her mouth, Eddie moved onto the cabinets.

  “Go, baby, go!” He turned her on her side, miming the motions of her chunky legs running over the top cabinets like some baby ninja and laughing at how big her smile managed to keep getting, her big eyes squinting with it.

  “What are you doing to my baby?” You asked as you emerged from the bedroom, rubbing sleep from your eyes.

  “She’s gonna be the next Karate Ki—hello.”

  Eddie couldn’t help himself, dark gaze trailing over your figure as you stood there, hair a wreck, no pants, oversized t-shirt—ooh, and a leaking nipple. 

  Eddie’s favorite. Yum.

  You followed his gaze, scoffing at the dark stain growing over your left boob, hand pressing against it to stop it as if you were applying pressure to a wound.

  “It heard her,” You pouted, lip stuck out and wobbling at him as you referenced your body’s response to the sound of your baby. Crying, giggling, whimpering—didn’t matter, your milk ducts went into overdrive, aware that your baby was conscious and could need a feeding. Her baby noises were like a trigger sequence.

  Eddie lifted Penny to his face, pressing fervent kisses into the chub of her cheeks, “Score for you, babe!”

  You rolled your eyes, completely, utterly fond and smitten over the interaction. He briefly abandoned the kitchen to hand her to you after you’d made yourself comfortable on the couch, ready to fall to his knees in adoration.

  You pulled the shirt over your breast, and despite trying to place your nipple in her mouth for her, Penny struggled to find it, mouthing greedily at your boob, her little head turning this way and that way but always missing the peak. 

  “Girl, it’s right there.” You laughed. Penny gave it like four more seconds of trying before her whimpers kicked in and you hurriedly managed to get her to latch, stopping the outburst.

  And just like that, Penny was content, making satisfied little squeaks as she nursed and stared up at you, pretending like she hadn’t been moments away from screaming her lungs out.

  And Eddie was distracted, solely focused on the two of you and how he wanted to roll around on the carpet because the cuteness aggression was almost unbearable. If this was how he would be spending every work-free morning for the rest of his life, he was ready to convert to being a morning person.

  Especially if those big sparkly eyes and that gummy smile would be staring up at him. GOD-she was so stinking cute. He wanted to smother her in his affection, but she was growing annoyed with Eddie all up in her face and squishing the chub she was accumulating. She even cried if he faked chewed on her chunky cheeks for too long.

  “What’s that smell?” You asked, snapping him out of his love stupor as you sniffed loudly.

  “FUCK!” Eddie bolted back to the kitchen, smoke surrounding the pan and what had once been edible eggs, “Hey, honey, what’s your opinion on extra crispy eggs? You a risk taker?”

“The answer to that is hurting my nipple right now.”

“Valid. That was a very fun risk.”

divider ℗ cafekitsune ♡