#i’m always so proud when i see ppl i love or even just know accomplishing things

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

their reaction to jacksepticeye being in the game made me SO HAPPY simply because that’s exactly how i feel when i see my friends doing anything i’m like 😍🥰🥹😊🥲

[jimilter]

the odds on us is so good!! i really like how realistically you wrote the conflict and made it easy to feel for both tae and oc, i feel like in a lot of fics ppl can accidentally write either one as the only asshole for their actions/reactions. of course, i tend to swing to tae’s side bc i love him so much and it killed me to read him confess that his gambling addiction was bc he wanted to provide for her but felt ashamed that his acting career wasn’t taking off yet 😭 but at the same time i wouldn’t be able to handle seeing the love of my life possibly go to jail after not being truthful so i couldn’t blame oc at all. the ending was great too and i’m happy he was able to clean up his act on his own to prove he could for her even though he thought it was too late, i admit i’m a big fan of fics kicking him around just a little bit to make the comfort even better, but i’m worse than oc bc i would’ve folded immediately the first time he came back to the apartment for his stuff lmao i’m too weak for him. and of course, the smut was fantastic i read your jimin modeling fic some weeks ago and recognized your name, you write so vividly and detailed i was excited to see you wrote something for tae! i’m impressed how you made him flow so seamlessly from a miserable kicked puppy to an absolute demon lol. in short i loved it i hope you don’t mind my rambling but i just had to leave something 😁

hiiiiii, anon!!! okay first off - PLEASE never hesitate to ramble away omfg when i tell you i have been giddily giggling all the while as i read this 🥺 you're precious! 😭❤

made it easy to feel for both tae and oc

^ you have my entire hearT for saying this, anon! it's always always been a pet peeve of mine when one person is villainized behind a relationship's failing. like. okay, some people are shitty, but in most cases, esp in situations where circumstance causes separation bw the ppl, they're both in the wrong :( so thank you for this compliment, it's literally all i wished to accomplish w the fic <333

bro you and me botH are worse than oc bec resisting that cutie anD hottie for a whole year hellO? nope. couldn't be us 😔✋

aaaaaa you've read piom? 😭 i still can't decide if i'm proud or embarrassed of myself for that horny word vomit sheeSh :| but omg you're too kind! i try my best w smut and try to improve w every new fic. this one wasn't as up to the mark imo, needed a lil more descriptions and exploration of feelings... but i didn't wanna create a mammoth of 20k+ words so i just went w this. so happy to know you liked it still! 🥺

thank you so so much for reading the fic and sending your sweet, sweet thoughts my way, anon!!! pls, i love you so much ❤❤❤❤❤

[waspgrave]

I’d do literally anything to stop being exhausted and having shaky hands. Sometimes it’s fine but then I’m so tired and I can see where my art starts suffering and getting messy bc of how weary I get even just drawing wtf. The exhaustion’ been an issue since april but maybe not being able to keep at it for as long as I did made it more noticeable to me now. It’s very annoying and frustrating which makes daily practice difficult so just getting past it is so much more difficult than it should be

Like god I don’t even like looking at my old art now bc I can see where I was and where I am Now and it’s depressing. I was doing studies! I loved coloring! I was doing sequential art and loved every bit of the process! I still do enjoy art a lot but now I have to psyche myself up and have a meltdown bc I can barely draw a line that doesn’t look like I’ve scribbled everything down through an earthquake.

[floorbe]

Kazuichi, Byakuya, Shuichi, Nagito, Hajime, Taka, Sonia & Mondo headcanons with a partner who is the Ultimate Dreamer? As in they have a HUGE imagination and creativity. They always ramble about ideas, are easily distracted/zone out a lot and get very emotional when an idea for a story or art piece doesn't go according to plan? I know that's a lot of people so you don't have to do them all, i'm sorry

ofc!! its not too many ppl at all, dw!!!

~

Kazuichi Souda

-He’s right on your wavelength!

-He’s got a crazy amount of creativity, too, so he’s right there with you and egging on your ideas!!

-He even adds on to them if you want! He’s got a lot of suggestions for everything

-He also asks for suggestions from you when he’s blocked for ideas on what to build/examine next

-At first he’s kind of offended when you keep getting distracted while he’s talking, but once he realizes it doesn’t mean you’re not interested, he’s cool!

-Has no problem repeating what he said, even if he has to do it twenty times in one conversation

-Kazuichi can completely empathize with getting emotional when something doesn’t turn out right

-He gets the same way when it’s his own creations, so he knows exactly how you feel and how to help

-“Hey, Y/N, don’t worry about it, okay?! We can always try again! Plus, I think this turned out pretty damn cool, anyway...” 

-He’s always encouraging you and complimenting all of your works, even the ones you don’t think are up to par. And he genuinely means everything he says

-You can count on him to always be there to motivate you to try again or move onto the next project

Byakuya Togami

-He’s honestly really impressed with how creative you are

-You’ll probably never know genuinely how much, because the most he’ll say is a “That’s quite an idea, Y/N” 

-He’s going to get frustrated at first if you zone out often, so bear with him as he gets over himself a bit

-Once he does get more used to it, he’ll just sigh and repeat what he said. It isn’t much better than before, but at least he’s not rolling his eyes with a snarky reply anymore

-He kind of... nitpicks your ideas? He doesn’t mean it in a harmful way, he just wants to add on in his own way. He’ll add on his own suggestions for a more practical and successful approach

-He’s actually a pretty good listener, though you’ll mostly get hums and grunts as responses as he doesn’t have much to add onto your thoughts

-If you’re a writer, he’s fully willing to proof read your stuff! He won’t say that, of course, but you can tell by how quickly he gives in when you ask him

-When you get emotional that something didn’t go right, he’ll walk past you and take a look at it himself

-“...This turned out well, Y/N. Our minds expectations are always higher than what we can accomplish; or, you’re your own worst critic, as they say.” 

Shuichi Saihara

-He’s amazed with how many ideas you have?? It seems like you never run out, and he’s so interested in hearing every one

-He doesn’t really have much to add on (and he kinda feels like he’s imposing by suggesting stuff) but if you ask he’s more than happy to give his own thoughts!

-Doesn’t mind you zoning out at all! He actually starts picking up on the signs that you are and either 1. catches your attention again or 2. gives you a minute before going on

-When you start getting emotional over something that didn’t turn out quite right, he’s right there beside you to ride it out with you

-“I-I think it’s amazing, Y/N, really!” and he does! But he knows what it’s like to not meet your own expectations, so he tries his best to be there for you

-And when you eventually pick up the motivation to start a new piece/work on your project again, he’s right there supporting you

Nagito Komaeda

-He’s astounded by how many ideas you have, and he wants to know about every single one

-This man is one of the best listeners you’ll ever meet

-He’s dead silent while you talk unless you want him to add stuff in or ask questions, in which he’s got you, too!

-He loves watching you work, and will gladly sit by you for hours just chilling

-Doesn’t mind at all if you zone out, but he may take it way too personally in a self hatred way, so make sure to reassure him it’s not because of him

-He’s so, so supportive of everything you make!

-He really does not understand how you could think that something didn’t turn out well, because “everything you do is amazing, my love!” 

-He’s got so many compliments for every project you work on. It’s almost too much, but later on in the relationship he knows when to pull back

-If you’re a painter, he’d love to paint with you!! He has no qualms about getting messy, and he loves spending time with you!

Hajime Hinata

-He loves listening to all of your thoughts and ideas!!

-Secretly kinda jealous of how big your imagination is, but he won’t tell you that

-He doesn’t have much to weigh in tbh, he just likes listening, but he’ll give suggestions if you want!

-Tbh he zones out a lot, too, so he totally understands you! He’ll just gently snap your attention back if you ask him to!

-He’s also right by your side when he sees you start to get emotional over a project

-He tries his best to comfort you, mostly by complimenting the piece in question and reassuring you it looks great (and it does!)

-He’ll stick to just comforting you if you don’t want any compliments, tho. He’s a great hugger!

-If you draw, sometimes you’ll catch him sketching in his own little book after watching you draw. He only lets you catch a glimpse of it before he shuts it, but it looked... suspiciously like you? 

Kiyotaka Ishimaru

-This man admires you so, so much. He has so much respect for you

-He’s not really an art person, so if your projects are art based he is so enamored by it! If you’ll let him, he’d love to sit in and watch you while you work! 

-Your creativity is so fascinating to him. He loves hearing all of your ideas, and loves discussing them with you! 

-He’ll try to add in suggestions, but if you want him to just listen he’s fine with that, too

-At first he thinks you’re zoning out because you’re being rude/disrespectful (and he’s a little hurt on the inside at the thought), but once you clarify that that’s not the case at all he’s 100% okay again

-Offers to proof read your stuff if you’re a writer! He may not be that good at creative writing, but he’s damn good at proof reading and editing writings

-He’ll absolutely ask for tips on some of the stuff that he’s interested in if that’s what you also do! (“Y/N, please teach me how to draw the other eye!”)

-He starts picking up on early signs that you’re starting to get emotional over a project, and he’ll rush to your side early to try and help out

-Whether it be by complimenting the piece (which he thinks is just... amazing, really, he doesn’t get how you don’t see that??) or just rubbing your back as you lament over it, he’s right there

Sonia Nevermind

-She’s so excited!!! She loves listening to other people talk about what they’re passionate about!

-She could spend hours just sitting with you and listening to you talk about your new ideas!

-She’ll get so excited if you ask her to weigh in with her opinion, so excited that she may fill up the suggestion with curse words on accident

-She doesn’t mind you zoning out at all! She knows it’s not intentional and she has no problem just catching your attention again and asking where in her sentence you zoned out so she can continue

-Sonia is very observant about the people she cares about, so she can see that you’re starting to get emotional over a piece before you even notice it 

-At an instant she’s bringing you water and snacks, suggesting to take a break with her and relax for a bit

-If that doesn’t work, she’ll wrap you up in her arms to comfort you and remind you that even if this didn’t turn out exactly how you wanted, it still turned out amazing in the end, and that is something to be proud of!

Mondo Oowada

-Damn, he’s impressed. How do you have so many ideas up in your head?? He’s astounded with every one tbh!

-Sometimes he asks you for ideas for what he should build next! (He’ll also let you paint his stuff if you want)

-If you paint or draw, please ask him to join you one day. It will be hilarious and endearing (imagine him drawing a hideous stick figure and labelling it as you)

-He likes sitting you in his lap as you talk about your ideas, and he’ll hum as he listens to you; he’s more of a listener

-Doesn’t mind at all if you zone out! He’ll just hum and repeat himself; no harm done! If you’re apologetic, he’ll scoff and reassure you that he does not “fuckin’ care, babe, it’s not a big deal to say something again”

-He can tell if you’re starting to get frustrated by a piece not going according to plan, and he tries to coax you into taking a break before you get too frustrated

-If you still get emotional over it, he’s beside you rubbing your back soothingly and reassuring you that you can try again another time

-Brings you away from the piece to get your mind off of it, whether that be by motorcycle ride, movie, etc., he’s pulling out all the stops 

[shotosprincess]

♡ dating the bnha boys — hcs

｡･:*:･-: ✧ :,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･-: ✧ :,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

➪ shoto todoroki

pls you’ve prolly been terrified of him for a while prior bc of how ?? talented ?? the mf is ??

but mans prolly saved you at some point and there was this lingering stare you two shared before he left you at recovery girls’ office; were you reading too far into things ?

spoiler alert: you weren’t.

anYWAYS-

he’s the kind of boyfriend to tenderly brush your hair for you and attempt to learn how to tie and braid your hair up in cute ,, simple designs !!

he’d always be ready with little things you’re constantly forgetting; extra snacks,, water,, a fully charged portable charger ,, trust me when i say that man is pREPARED- after all ,, he needs to be ready with everything to take care of his little sweetheart ,, does he not ?

ONLY TWO POINTS IN AND IM ALREADY CRYING BC I LOVE HIM SM BYE BYE BYE

at some point he’d find you sitting on the roof by yourself late at night,, only to stay with you and let you fall asleep on his chest as he drapes a blanket over you and heats it up a lil with his quirk

OKAY YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT THAT MAN WOULDNT HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR YOU AT ALL TIMES AND WOULD SOMETIMES EVEN GET LOWKEYHIGHKEY KINDA SAD WHEN YOU DONT LET HIM

prolly bc he just wants to prove to you that he can be useful

pls just let the man know he’s useful and important he never shows it directly but he needs the reassurance—

he’d give you a warm massage w his quirk whenever you’re in pain :”)

HIDES AND PROTECTS YOU FROM MINETA BC HE KNOWS DAMN WELL WHAT THAT LITTLE SHIT FANTASIZES ABOUT

loves heating//cooling things for you ,, like instant noodles or ice packs !!

surprises you w jewelry that have his initials on them !!

GIVES THE BEST CUDDLES I SWEAR

would hold an umbrella for u while you loop your arm into his as the two of you walk home through the light rain :”)

cries into your chest sometimes after youve fallen asleep bc it’s late nights like these when he reflects on just how lucky of a guy he is to have you— it’s hard for him to articulate it directly ,, but when he does fully open up to you ab it ,, you end up crying too .

WOULD 110% MAKE THE TWO OF YOU YOUR OWN PERSONAL LIL ICE RINK AND TEACH YOU HOW TO SKATE // DO FUN FIGURE SKATING DUOS WITH YOU

➪ katsuki bakugou

prolly got with you initially bc of a dare ( and he nEVER passes up a dare ) ,, but eventually those feelings started to become real and honestly ? it kinda scared the shit outta him . he didn’t know why ,, but for some reason he didnt actually want to leave .

OKAY LARA JEAN AND PETER MF KAVINSKY TYPE BEAT ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ HIT US WITH THE FAKE RELATIONSHIP TO REAL RELATIONSHIP TROPE YESYESYES

teasingly-mean nicknames = his love language . enough said .

AGGRESSIVE !! KISSES !! ALL !! THE DAMN !! TIME !!

makes you wear his hoodie whenever you show even the sLIGHTEST hint at being cold

he just rly wants to see you in his clothes

he’s so clueless on how to do this whole boyfriend thing ,, but he’s definitely trying bc it’s for you :”)

watches and tries so desperately to copy all the cute couples in the movies you guys watch together

“ roses...do you want roses ? “ “ what ? “ “ the guy in the movie gave her roses...do you want roses too ? “

but at the end of the day you just appreciate him for who he is and that’s more than enough for you :”)

PLS DENKI AND KIRI ARE CONSTANTLY SHOCKED AT HOW MUCH HE’S TRYING FOR YOU

will take any and every opportunity to show off his strength and quirk to you <3

now we all know this man gets jealous hella easily ,, and its no different w relationships :”) he’d constantly make it a point to hold you extra close to him in public ,, show you off on social media and call you by a nickname//petname whenever possible just to reiterate to ppl the fact that you’re his and he’s yours

WOULD LET YOU SIT ON HIS LAP AND DO HIS EYELINER AT 2AM PURELY BC YOU GOT BORED

pls i could rly see myself doing that i wont lie

honestly sometimes he forgets himself and his temper gets a little out of hand ,, but the second he sees his feral reflection in your fearful eyes,, he pulls you to his chest and apologizes profusely :”))

➪ denki kaminari

MF PROLLY GOT WITH YOU BC OF A RIGGED GAME OF SPIN THE BOTTLE AT MINA’S PLACE I CANNOT SEE ANYTH HAPPENING OTHERWISE

one tiny kiss turned into two ,, which turned into three ,, and before you knew it ,, the both of you were spilling out the pent up feelings you had for one another all this time—

mina never shuts up ab it ,, she’s so proud of her matchmaking skills

when the power goes out during a storm ,, he holds onto you tight and plays w your hair as he uses his quirk to turn things back on ,,, “ shhh it’s ok,, i’m here “

will do anything and everything to make you smile <3

he has a lil album in his camera roll with all his favourite pictures of you ,, which is practically just all of them tbh ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

HE LOVES SHOWING YOU OFF IN THE MOST WHOLESOME WAY POSSIBLE !!

super energetic n bubbly but at the end of your dates he passes out right away in your arms

you make sure to wrap him up in blankets and give him an overload of kisses after he’s rly asleep though

will work embarrassingly hard to win you stuffed animals at the fair !! it doesn’t always work ,, but it’s cute nontheless <3

some of the staff and children at the fairs get pissed off but oh well ,,, what you do for love

pls he prolly makes you lil bento boxes for lunch every now and then ( ESPECIALLY DURING EXAM WEEK ) w tiny notes and designs taped on them

constantly calls you “ shawty “ lowkey un ironically and dice rolls in ur direction whenever he sees you ,,, you just end up laughing and playfully punching him

I JUST KNOW HE DOES THE F BOY LIP BITE FACE CONSTANTLY

ITS AN ADDICTION FOR HIM I SWEAR

SUPER CLINGY BUT IN THE CUTEST WAY AAAA

LIL STICKY NOTE LOVE LETTERS FROM HIM IN YOUR LOCKER EVERY !! MF !! DAY !!!

you both agreed that at home cozy netflix dates w microwave popcorn and fuzzy blankets >>> movie theatre dates

110% made a playlist for you at some point when he crushed on you from afar and shared it w you after you started dating

he made a collaborative playlist for yall AND multiple playlists of songs that remind him of you afterwards

pls i just kNOW this man’s love language is making playlists

theyre prolly all categorized by mood or smth too w the cutest covers ever pls

➪ ejirou kirishima

you initially met him bc he was hella upset and alone this one time and you were the only one to notice and be there for him bc he ran away from everyone else to hide the “ uNmanLy “ tears :”))

takes you w him on his lil gym visits ,, hypes you up with every little thing u accomplish !!

constantly teasing bakugou with how he’s able to pull you and how lucky he is to have you

bakugou gets hella annoyed most of the time and just blasts him away-

idk bro i just feel like kiri prolly calls you “ adorable “ alot i wont lie-

LOVES HAND HOLDING,, takes any opportunity to hold ur hand and trace lil casual patterns across your knuckles w his thumb

sometimes he’ll even draw lil hearts on your hand

play fighting but sometimes the two of you get too carried away and he actually loses half of the time-

LATE NIGHT GAME NIGHTS WITH HIM AND THE BAKUSQUAD,, he loves being on the team against you so he can get all competitive

OK HEAR ME OUT;;;; DANCE BATTLES W HIM AS YOUR PARTNER AGAINST RANDOM PPL AT PARTIES

mans gets hella insecure ab himself sometimes ,, so he loves doing lil things for you !! opening a can ,, pulling the blanket over you ,, zipping up your jacket <33

STOP WAIT THATS SO CUTE BYE I WANT THAT

lets you dye his hair—THATS HOW MUCH HE TRUSTS YOU BYE

pls yall prolly aggressively play wii sports and just dance against one another on a regular basis;; it’s literally your thing and you cannot tell me otherwise ahjdjfj

pls i just KNOW this man’s an overly passionate wii player

will wrap his arms around your waist and hug u from behind as you make breakfast

WOULD WEAR MATCHING EARRINGS W YOU IF ITS FOR YOU

slow dances in the living room at midnight w you !!

eventually as you spent more time together ,,, you were able to change his idea of “ manliness “ ,, and he was able to realize that manliness is not equivalent to stoicism and that expressing ur feelings is still totally manly and totally valid !! <33

[youtalktoomuch]

ranboo is such a fucking. he’s so. how do i explain it. he’s so full of love. he’s so full of love. he means every single word he says and he appreciates even the tiniest of things. like when he speaks you can tell he’s speaking from his heart, when he thanks everyone for supporting him and talks about how happy he is that he’s made such a wonderful community, you can tell he really is grateful and proud. like. oh my god. i don’t know how to explain it. normally with content creators when they say they love & appreciate what they have ur like, yeah okay, of course they’re grateful for the job they have. everybody always says it. but i? with ranboo it’s so genuine? it’s like he truly is grateful for every single person that is there to support him. every single person that has subscribed or donated or sent him kind words. every single person in his stupid little chat that shows up & says hi when he hits “go live.” every single person that has spent hours making art for him, animations for him, cosplays, or showed their appreciation for his content & work and how it has affected them. it’s like he tries his very best to make sure that every single one of those people know he appreciates them right back and how much they have affected him the same.

it shows in the way ranboo doesn’t want his vods to get muted for the people that miss his streams when he’s live, the way he’ll apologize for not streaming even if it’s only been a day or two, the amounts of fanart he likes on twitter, the cosplays he sees on tiktoks, the way he always wants his merch & whatever he makes to be the best of the best, the way the mere act of ppl making jokes of his content is enough to make him happy. the way that his #1 goal in all of this is to just leave a positive impact on people and the world around him, to encourage them to do the same, to provide a safe & loving space for them to go to when they need it, i just. it’s beautiful. the entirety of it all really is. that ranboo has changed so many people’s lives, that he has accomplished so much in his own, that he made the active decision to continue all of this even in times when it was really, really hard to, and he wasn’t sure he could.

happy 11 months, ranboo. you’re funny, you’re inspiring, you’re one hell of a guy. and you deserve everything you have. you deserve all the love.

and you know what? i’m grateful for the day you hit go live.

[wisteria-lodge]

badger primary (light snake model) + lion secondary (bird model) (badger model)

hi, i’d really appreciate it if you could help sort me because i think that both my primary and secondary are either burnt or i’ve just overanalyzed this since all of the descriptions for the houses seem relatable to some extent. i’ll start with the secondary. i don’t particularly enjoy using any method of the secondaries.

Burnt secondary? Lots of models?

i honestly can’t even find a pattern from the things that have worked best for me. the best things in my life always happened when i wasn’t forcing anything, they just sort of fell into place, so i just feel like i’ve had luck?

Hmm. “Just lucky I guess” is usually a description of a Snake secondary… but it’s not really a way Snake secondaries describe themselves. That’s more the perspective of someone outside looking in. It’s possible that you just haven’t thought much about your methods before?

i have to do lists for the day and week, since it definitely calms me down when i know clearly what im supposed to accomplish in a day, but beyond that i don’t make plans.

The way this is famed as something you “have” to do that “calms you down,” - basically an anti-anxiety tactic - makes me think it’s probably a support system. I’m gong with Bird secondary model for now.

i don’t even know how i solve problems? i am both confrontational and non-confrontational haha. i never want to leave things unsaid and not explain myself properly to people.

That’s Lion (actually, maybe that’s why you don’t know how you solve problems. The classic Lion secondary just jumps in and reacts.) Even this idea of the on/off of confrontational/non-confrontational is very Lion.

when it comes to other problems that aren’t people-related i guess i’m quick and can come up with a solution on the spot.

Improvisational secondary.

i def relate to snake bc i do think it’s a luxury to be able to be fully myself in front of people.

That is a tremendously Lion way of conceptualizing snake. “Oh I get Snake, they’re acting all the time, but what they REALLY want is to be able to feel safe enough to go into neutral.” A snake loves the masks. A snake *is* the masks.

i’ve also been told i’m really stubborn.

Lion.

i tell the occasional white lie, as in, i might soften my criticisms to not offend ppl, or i make up an excuse for why i cant go out if i’d rather stay at home. i would never lie about important things like my beliefs and misrepresent myself, or about anything that has actual serious consequences. but, if i really wanted to, or i’m really pressed, i usually have no problem with coming up with something on the spot (and i’m not proud of it, in fact, i don’t like myself for it).

Lions *can* lie (it’s really only in fiction that you get the Absolutely Incapable of Lying Lion.) They just… really really don’t like it. It make them feel sticky.

i’m definitely known to be smart and hardworking and kind, because i do genuinely do the work and finish what i start, but i don’t know if i find any particular enjoyment in it? sure, it feels nice to be honest and to see things through, but i also don’t mind doing things another way.

Again, you focused in on the most Lion-y part of a Badger secondary, and said that’s what “feels nice.” Other than that, sounds like a useful Badger model. Really common.

i do care about disappointing the people who have a good opinion of me though.

A Badger primary? Don’t want to disappoint the community?

as for primary i prioritize myself and my people which i know is very snakey, but i don’t always like the fact that i do that.

Okay interesting. I’m still thinking Badger… but maybe… Burnt Badger? Burnt Badgers will act like snakes and kind of hate it. Or maybe we’ve got a Snake model?

i relate to bird because i like to base my morality based on external information, to have some solid ground and some solid rules which i try to live by. i can even change my believes easily if i receive new info.

External primary. Still kind of leaning Badger. I know you’re thinking bird, and while it’s *possible*… I’m just not getting Bird from you yet. (A bird would be telling me all about their rules.)

i don’t know if i’m really snake bc i think i can also be selfish and put my wants/goals/morals above those of even my people.

And you clearly don’t *like* the fact that you do this. I’m not even sure if your Badger is burned, I think it might just be guilty. No one is a perfect, unblemished, shining example of their sorting at all times.

and i don’t know if i’m a bird who models snake, or a snake who models bird.

I am honestly getting neither of those things.

in fights with friends i always looked at things objectively and supported the person i thought was right until my best friend said that that bothered her, so after that i tried to always defend her.

So does that mean you felt *more* moral defending your friend no questions asked, or *less* moral?

as to why i relate to lion, it’s because i do like to trust my gut and honestly it’s never been wrong, but i don’t think i make decisions simply based on that. i also don’t know if i’d place some ideal over actual people.

my god you are such a Loyalist.

i don’t really understand what a lion’s cause is? how do they decide on that?

Oh, you don’t choose your cause. Your cause chooses you.

one more thing that i think is very lion is that i’ve often been annoyed by people who have to have some external data tell them that some things are right and some things are wrong. yes, there’s nuance, but i guess i just can’t understand why you need justification to believe smth as basic as people deserve food, and water and housing.

I mean, I know you’re framing this in a Lion way, and sure this could be Lion. But all I’m hearing is that core Badger primary emotion “they matter because they’re people!”

the one primary i def know im not is badger,

This is going to be good.

since i don’t really care for communities. just like i don’t understand a lion’s cause, i also don’t really understand what ppl mean by community. i wouldn’t treat anyone differently depending on whether of not they’re a part of my community.

It’s because you’re a Universal Badger, and it’s lovely. You don’t understand what people mean by ‘community’ because you’re too deep inside it. You don’t see how anyone could exist without the cosmic understanding of “community” that you have.

i’d treat them differently based on my opinion of them/their relation to me.

There *is* still something a little Snakey, or possibly Burned badger, sneaking in here.

i still offer everyone basic politeness and kindness though.

My *guess* is your idea of what “basic kindness” is is… very different from a Snake primary’s.

the main thing is that i can simply choose what to care about.

That’s an external primary thing (Bird or Badger)

i guess i’d feel the most bad if i caused the people i care about harm or if i disappointed them.

I know this is kind of a wording trick, but Snakes really do talk about individuals - “My brother” “my mom” “my significant other.” You have talked about “the people who have a good opinion of me” “the people I care about” “my people” “friends” “actual people.” The only individual you’ve mentioned is your best friend, the one who told you it bothered her when you didn’t back her up. I think it’s actually possible this *friend* might be a Snake primary, and if she’s really important to you… you might have built a Snake model for her that you are a little uncomfortable with.

i’ve also seen that you should look back to your childhood to sort yourself and as a child i knew i wanted to be successful and i knew i wanted to help people and the environment, but they were always vague ideas.

Bagder.

mostly, i was content with playing and spending time with my parents/grandparents/friends.

BADGER. (And again, notice all the collective nouns.)

i daydreamed of being a princess and an actress so that my family would be financially secure and would never worry about money.

You are adorable. (I seriously love Badger primaries.)

if it helps to sort me, i had to choose between studying smth i was passionate about in college and going into STEM bc it was more stable. in the end, i decided on the latter. i’m not going to lie i was miserable for a year and a half into it, but i pushed through it, and now i’m in my final year and kind of happy that i did. i rlly relate to one answer in the sortinghatchats quiz that says i made my choice, now i live with it, life only moves in a forward direction.

That probably was a tricky decision, especially with your Lion secondary, but yeah. External primaries can just sort of decide to care about things, and it’s extremely cool.

sorry for the long post, but i’d really appreciate the help. i love your blog and posts!

You’re very welcome. This one was fun.

[pascalpanic]

I hope this isn't too long! perhaps headcanons of Ezra, Frankie, Marcus Pike, Zach & Pero with an s/o that's subjectively smarter than them? their s/o is in a different bracket of knowledge in what they know basically? like Ezras s/o is a navigator, Frankie & Zachs is an astrophysicist, Pikes is from another branch of the FBI that's well regarded, and Peros is like a scholar/writer (since that wasn't a common skill in his time.) would there be jealously/envy? resentment for being smarter? try to put them (their s/o) down/rub in their face if they made a mistake whether it be minor & especially major?

for context I had an ex that was a huge narcissist who just had to be the smartest person in the room. like will put other ppl down to seem smarter/better kind of narcissist. before I realized there were times he'd put me down and I'm still picking through what he left behind. please and thank you if possible!

hi of course!! I’m so sorry about your shitty ex, having knowledge is fucking amazing but I doubt he had any 🥸 and we discussed this I’m gonna sub out Zach for Moreno and Pero for Oberyn- hope those are alright :)

I also had a similar request for @binarydanvvers so I’m gonna combine these two!!

With an Intelligent S/O

Ezra

Navigating is something Ezra never really got. He’s fantastic at getting you to the Aurelac once you’re on the planet and harvesting it- you’ve always teased he could do it one-handed, but now he has one hand and he seriously can. He thinks your skills with navigating the stars is fantastic. He’d love to sit with you in his lap while you pilot the spacecraft and narrate what you’re doing. He has a look of wonder in his eyes, absolutely entranced by you and your skill. If you ever make a mistake, he probably won’t even notice it.

Frankie

Frankie doesn’t think he’s that smart. He’s a good pilot, sure, but he can’t measure up to you, a literal astrophysicist. When you bring your work home at night, he wants to tell you to leave it at the office, but he’s secretly fascinated as you pore over the work. You’ll have to make the terminology a little more civilian level, but he’ll be absolutely astounded by your smarts and immediately tell you you’re the smartest person he’s ever met and he’s so lucky he has you around to do the hard shit. He brags about your occupation to all of his friends, reminding them he has the smartest person alive on his arm.

Marcus Moreno

Being a Heroic is hard, but it’s mostly strategics with the team, making battle plans and assigning proper teams to the proper threat at hand. He’s more of a humanities guy, always has been. You being an astrophysicist has him in absolute shock. When you get into a topic and start talking, Marcus won’t be able to understand a word you’re saying, but he’ll be entranced by your passion, and so incredibly proud of your accomplishments. Every time you do something worth celebrating, Marcus will make you a fancy dinner at home and crack open a fancy bottle of wine. Marcus is the least jealous and most supportive man alive when it comes to your intelligence.

Marcus Pike

Art theft is one thing. It’s mainly about following paper trails, tracing movements and finding evidence. One thing he’ll never understand is behavioral analysis. He’s always shocked by the conclusions you can draw about his criminals, or the ones you’re working on. He asks you to analyze him all the time- as if you weren’t already doing it. Seriously, he loves it; he adores planning surprises and seeing if you can crack it with your “mind reading skills”. He may work in the FBI with you, but your division fascinates him and he absolutely adores your intelligence.

Oberyn Martell

Oberyn is a prince of Dorne. He’s surrounded by intellectuals and royals, but he’s never met anyone as fascinating as you. Your smarts immediately astound him and he simply has to keep you around in his court. As a writer, your endless ideas and skills amaze him, and he loves reading or listening to your stories. Oberyn is a very smart man too, so there would be no envy at all: in fact, there would be a sense of enlightenment between the both of you at finally meeting your intellectual match!

[curiosityjams]

re: iz*one

first of all, i wanted to say i didn’t plan on writing something about the disbandment. the past few months have been incredibly rough on my mental state to the point where i feel as if i’ve lost all sense of self. shit has been so rough for me, their disbandment being confirmed made that even worse for me. however, i realized i need to learn how to be okay with like...being open about my own emotions in a time of uncertainty and writing them out helps me in a way even if a lot of those emotions i’d rather keep private. i’ve also been going thru a time where i’m currently reevaluating this past year and everything i’ve done/felt in the past few yrs (2.5 of those years being izone’s run), so i thought i’d write something about the disbandment and what iz*one means to me, esp during this point in my life. i’d write more about what led me to this point, but if i did, i’d end up writing a whole novel, so i’m just going to keep this as short as possible.

also if this is a jumbled mess, i’m sorry!!!!

since we’re here to talk about the inevitable, i just wanted to say that i’ve probably had a harder time accepting them being gone than i thought. i knew they were gonna disband eventually bc lol produce group, but also, knowing what happened with the voting scandal and the panasonic, it makes it even worse for me. i hate that they didn’t even bother to handle their disbandment in a way that wasn’t complete horseshit. i hate how the pandora screwed everything up. i hate how we didn’t even get a proper goodbye from the girls. i knew that this was going to happen, but i fucking hate how it all turned out. i can’t say i’m 100% happy with the ending and honestly, don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully accept that they’re no longer a group. 

that said, i’m not here to vent.

while i’m obviously upset that they’re gone, the fact that they were ever a group to begin with--i’ll forever be grateful. i avoided getting into them for the longest time because of my own trauma from being involved in the 48 fandom (smth i’ll talk about at a later time bc it’s a lot), but the moment i decided to watch their “up” performance and actually give them a chance beyond looping la vie en rose, that’s when i fell in love. i fell in love with the music. i fell in love with the visuals. i fell in love with the bond between the girls. most of all, i fell in love with the fact that during a weird transitional period in my 20s, i found a group that gave me the closure i needed in a time where it felt like the world was against me while also giving me the strength i need to move on. 

while we’re on that topic, let’s talk about kwon eunbi.

as you already know from my url, eunbi is obviously my bias. she’s the leader of the group, under the company my ult group, lovelyz, is also in, and THE absolute all-rounder. she’s extremely talented, super fucking funny, a babe of THE highest order, and the best single mom you could ever ask for. every time i watch a video of iz*one’s or look at any of their pics, i’m always in absolute awe of her. while i love all of the girls (j-line has a very special place in my heart bc of my time in 48 fandom) and do consider the entire group to be one full of bias wreckers, it’s eunbi that instantly caught my eye and the one i’m incredibly proud to call my ult.

“now, drea, why is it that you’re taking so much time with talking about how special this group and that girl are to you?” well, it’s mainly because that eunbi and i are the same age (both 95-liners, but i’m older by 2 months) that i’m so drawn to not only her, but the group as well. yeah, it’s normal to be drawn to members born in your birth year, but for me and esp in this case, it’s far more complex than it seems.

around the time i got into the group, i was (still am) going thru a quarter life crisis. i had just finished my a.a., was a few months away from turning 24, and had pretty much decided i was going to take an indefinite hiatus from twitter due to the amount of harm its done to my mental health over 10 years. i felt like shit knowing that so many people my age were living their lives, getting married, having kids, etc all that shit while i felt as if i was frozen in time and like i could never accomplish any of those things because according to society, my time was up. as a woman on the autism spectrum, i never felt like anything i did was enough and knowing that even after years of trauma, the feeling that if i don’t have my entire life sorted out by 24/25 scared the living shit out of me. knowing that a panini happened made those feelings even worse. 

i know it’s weird to like...feel so many emotions over this esp since 23-25 is young and starting your career out at that age is normal. that said, knowing how eunbi was already in a group prior to joining iz*one that ended up disbanding months after they debuted, the road she took to get to where she is now, and the fact that she’s 25/26 and will get so many chances to start over is what gives me hope after such a shit year. i can finally get to where i want to be, i’ll graduate from university, i’ll hopefully get a job that will earn me enough money to move out of my mom’s house, i’ll find love, etc who the fuck knows what’s going to happen? i hate that after years of hating myself and being afraid of getting older because people often have this mentality that you should abandon all sense of yourself once you hit your mid 20s, it’s taken me THIS long to actually start accepting myself for who i am and living my life for myself, but i’m excited to see where the fuck life takes me after years of self-hatred, trauma, and trying too hard to please ppl that don’t give a shit. seeing eunbi just have a fucking blast on stage, take care of her members, and overall be the amazing person she is gave me the strength i desperately needed to actually get to the path i want to be on as someone that’s a few years away from turning 30.

as i said earlier, i’m not ready to just outright accept iz*one being gone. i’ll probably spend the entire month of may just watching their content since there’s still a shitton of stuff i have yet to watch and i’m lowkey embarrassed that as a fan, i’m admitting this, but also: there’s no time limit. i can always watch that video at another time, i’ll like that pic later, etc. i wish iz*one was one of those things that had no time limit because i’ll always cherish them, but in the 2.5 years of their existance, i achieved some big things and survived a pandemic. i left twitter, got closure in chapters i needed closure in, finished my a.a., etc among many other things during that time and it’s partly because of iz*one that i’ve pushed myself to do all of those things. it’s hard esp since it’s easier to just write smth like this on tumblr than actually do it, but the girls and their music were part of the reason why 2020 wasn’t a complete dumpster fire for me. 

most of all, i wanted to write this because i wanted to shout-out the amazing folks at @izonetwork​. i joined super late in the game, but the convos i’ve had, the laughs we’ve had on discord/among us, etc i’ll never forget it. meeting all of you was one of THE highlights of an otherwise shitty year and i’ll always credit you as one of the reasons why i wasn’t completely emotionally distant during such a dark time. all of you keep me grounded and i’m forever grateful. super honored to call you guys my friends. <3

so yeah, thank you iz*one. thank you, eunbi, sakura, hyewon, yena, chaeyeon, chaewon, minju, nako, hitomi, yuri, yujin, and wonyoung. i don’t speak korean or japanese, but know i’m eternally grateful for all the joy, strength and bops you gave me in the past 2.5 years. i’m even more grateful for the friends i’ve met thru my own fandom of the group. i’m excited to see what every single one of you does next regardless of what it may be. 

now if you’ll excuse me, i have to go catch up on all the enozis i’ve missed. 

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

[not-poignant]

Hey Pia hope you’re doing well

I was wondering, is the thing where Arden picks up a bunch of random hobbies and commitments a part of his ADHD or does it have like a name?

I’m a highschool student and I get told by all my friends and teachers that I have overcommitment issues and part of it’s just for uni and whatever ofc but it’s also that I want to do ALL THESE THINGS

Like I’m in 4 different science competition teams, the school debating team, school orchestra, scholarship classes, editor of my school newsletter, I lead the school amnesty and unicef clubs plus the IB program and being in the national maths Olympiad team lol and I don’t want to let any of these go but it’s so stressful and I’m so tired and ppl say I have to say no to stuff which is also stressful!

Also, doing more is always portrayed as such a great thing and I feel rlly guilty letting stuff go? So I’m just reaching out because you portrayed it in such a refreshing way and I was really curious!

Firstly, massive respect for your ability to fit this ask into the Tumblr ask limits. Seriously :D

Okay secondly, Arden’s habit of picking up a bunch of random hobbies / commitments is part of his ADHD. People with ADHD have this to different degrees, and my beta in particular relates really hard to this habit of Arden’s.

But actually, one of the reasons I put this in is because this is a very bad habit of mine - which is overcommitting, and overworking. And not wanting to let anything go.

People teach you a lot of skills in your life on how to pick things up, but almost no one teaches you what to do when you have many hobbies you love, and they’re hurting you because you’re working too hard and don’t have time for your loved ones (or to even really have loved ones) as an example. And it absolutely is a crucial skill to learn for people who are dealing with this, though capitalists don’t want you to learn it.

In the media what I see is most folks having no hobbies and someone being ‘oh you have to learn some.’ I liked Arden as a contrast to that ‘no, that’s too many things, put some back.’ Where Arden’s ADHD manifests - though it’s much more controlled than it used to be - is that he desires to spend a lot of money on the thing as soon as he gets into it (because he only wants the best of the best - which wasn’t great when he wasn’t earning much money), and that he starts really hooking into it in an obsessive kind of way. Spending a night making bows for your dog is one thing. Then wanting to spend $500 and start an Etsy store small business is like...from one day of work, not great.

A lot of Arden’s life has involved choosing to let go of things he’s loved doing, for his own sanity. This is something I’ve had to do as well and I fucking hate it, and these are the techniques I’ve developed for myself (and my still frankly overcommitted ass, who has people saying ‘when are you going to do LESS’ all the time to my face).

* Remind yourself that dropping some things now doesn’t mean you’re dropping them forever. It doesn’t have to be permanent. Sometimes it’s good to put a time limit on something. ‘I’m going to drop this for four weeks / four months and put a note/reminder in my phone about it right now.’ Chances are high you are not going to be as interested in that thing in four weeks/four months. (Chances are sadly also high you may have replaced it with something else). Like, there will be science groups you can join for the rest of your life. And debate groups. And newsletters.

(That being said, none of those things count towards our grades in Australia? So I don’t know how much these things are counting towards your grades in general and I’m not going to like, touch that side of things - however overcommitment is a super fast way to do a lot of things not that well, or to suddenly get so sick you can’t do any of the things and then feel terrible while you’re sick, more on that later!).

* Time caps on certain hobbies and activities and commitments. This is to actually shoot my habit of hyperfocusing in the foot. I don’t have time to play piano for four hours, but I’m allowed to play it for ten minutes a day (sometimes more but not often). And ten minutes a day adds up over time. I literally sit down and put the timer on my phone. If say there’s something that meets up twice a week but some people only go once, be one of those people!

* Rate the things based on how they contribute to your a) career and b) quality of life and c) happiness. Anything that rates lower on the list compared to the others (that isn’t like, literal money-making work or literal classes) needs to be dropped.

* Dropping things is just actually one of the hardest parts and there’s no real trick to making this easier. I just remind myself: ‘Just because I can do this thing, and do this thing well, doesn’t mean it’s good or healthy for me to do this thing. I need to spend time with people I care about, and I need rest, and those things matter more even if they feel less like ‘accomplishments.’ I want to care for myself through my hobbies, not punish myself.’ That goes some way in keeping perspective, but look, ngl, it sucks to drop commitments if you have an accomplishment/achievement/job satisfaction addiction. It just sucks.

* Accept that you are going to feel guilty, and that guilt is just an emotion, and it doesn’t mean you’ve done something bad. Look sometimes guilt gets it wrong! Sometimes you feel crushingly guilty just for breaking a bad habit, it’s not useful, you just have to kind of be like ‘huh I’m feeling a lot of guilt for trying to look after myself, that’s really interesting, I guess I can understand that but I’m also going to try and praise myself for doing a great job. Just because this isn’t an obvious kind of achievement, I know I achieved something really big and difficult today.’

* Oh yeah, use achievement and ‘job’ type language for doing things that involve successfully taking care of yourself and your energy levels. Just...sometimes you have to ‘if you can’t beat them join them’ - chances are you’ve never been as kind to yourself or proud of yourself for resting and taking it easy and seeing friends, than you are for taking on too many commitments. So...challenge yourself to be kind to yourself and proud of yourself for resting and taking it easy and seeing friends and committing to less. Trust me, you are never going to forget how to overcommit, and you are never going to become lazy or lax because you dropped a few of the (billion) things that you’re committed to. You can afford to praise yourself for this! And generously!

* Seriously, seriously consider seeing doctors or psychologists about this. Despite a TON of PTSD, I actually see my therapist most for working too hard and overcommitting. We spend a lot of time talking about why I might not be the worst person in the world for taking a break. Take it seriously. Your list alone made me feel like I was about to have a panic attack, lmao, your friends and teachers are right, you have overcomittment issues.

* Workaholicism and work addiction is real. There is a growing amount of information about how to deal with it and it’s worth googling.

***

Er anyway that’s what I do. It doesn’t always work. I have a lot of rules in place and I abandon half of them about halfway through the year and then s u f f e r. And have been doing that for over 25 years and I’m going to say bluntly now - it’s why I’m as sick as I am, and some of that sickness is irreversible. If nothing else, if you want to stay as active as you are now, I do not recommend that anyone push themselves so hard that they can no longer even do things that they enjoy on a regular basis, because they’re too physically debilitated to manage it, because they pushed their bodies too hard during the university years and just after. Because that is 100% why I became so sick in the first place.

And even extremely healthy people who have no history of chronic illness often develop something, in conjunction with years and years of working too hard or overcommitting. I’ve seen it happen to far too many of my friends, and you might feel like ‘just another six months’ or ‘just another three years’ but you’d be surprised how quickly you can go from ‘I’m doing it I’m doing it’ to ‘I keep getting migraines all the time doctor how do I fix this so I can go back to working as hard as I was before’ and your doctor being like ‘...yeah this isn’t curable. I’m going to give you some meds, that all come with horrible side effects, and you simply can’t do what you were doing before.’ Game over.

Trust me, that shit catches up with your body always. It might not be now, and I hope frankly it’s never, but overcommitment and workaholicism are the two fastest ways I know to chronic illness and once you get there, you can’t work your way out of it again.

Though god knows I have tried.

[labellerose-acheron]

15, 16, 19, 20

What’s your proudest moment/accomplishment in BDRP?

Oh, gosh. I don’t know. I’ve been here for so long, I’ve had so many. I think...in terms of plot, one of my favorites is Haku being the river that led to the Underworld bc it was just such a GREAT plot. Like the river being dammed so Hades couldn’t find the entrance, then meeting Haku who had forgotten who he was and befriending him, and then finding out that he was the river and completing their destinies together. I still think about it all the time, ugh. 

In terms of characters, Lou’s “trip to the ocean” was really important to me and I am really proud of that plot. Also, Helle’s family and everything we’ve done with that, bc I just love my children. ;-; 

Mock to...I just think that was a unique story to tell and will continue to be a unique story and I’m excited to explore it more. 

What thread that’s not your own do you remember watching closely?

Anything I’ve shipped in the past. Watching this Phinnip stuff. Captains stuff, what else? Gosh, there have been so many. Everyone’s characters are so fun. And when I’m not involved in the drama I’m like eating popcorn on the sidelines.

Write some love for three Muns of your choice!

the ppl who need love rn: 

Sammy: Your stories are always so creative and we love a fully plotted arc! Both your characters are so different and dynamic, but have that Sammy flavor. I’m really excited to see what you do with them. You know I want to help Tony on his journey however I can (pls include me.) And we love a dumb, sweet person like Devyn. <3 <3 You are v soft and just nice and I enjoy seeing yours and Z’s interactions, as well as Lins. Tony/Eilonwy/Ian is great, we love a trio.

Hannah: This is probs gonna be Controversial to say, but I appreciate that we’ve butted heads a lot over the years. However, we’ve always been cordial and nice and able to work together. I appreciate the soft energy you bring to the RP and I am happy to be your cousin and am excited to explore that relationship and write more with you. 

Pet/Lauryl: We’ve been at it a long time ladies. Through...lots of bullshit, both personal and external. And I just appreciate you two sticking by my side, even when it’s been hard. I deeply value your friendships and hope that sometime soon we can get together again in person and go see a Broadway show or something. You are my oldest adult friends and that is very important to me. <3

Write some love for three Muses of your choice!

me: forgets every single character --

Rose: gosh. i...love her. (shout out to kit for letting me cheat on her <3) i just like that she’s super tough and doesn’t take anyone’s shit. it’s refreshing, because she’s still soft and feminine and wants someone to understand her and i hope that she finds someone. 

Aquata: we’ve had a lot of aquatas and they’ve all been great and different, but i really love what you’ve done with yours, emma! i *love* that we have a triton on the board again and that she has a bunch of flaws but is also very soft and good. i can’t see what you do with her and how she grows!

Arthur: we all know i wanna marry arthur. we just love a real stand up gent, who is confused 80% of the time. i’m really excited for him to step back in the leadership role, or maybe have some reservations about leadership? who knows! i just know im really hype for all the knight stuff. it’s gonna be great!

[alias-b]

OKAY. So, I wasn’t gonna dignify this with an answer, but I’m feeling super good and starting my vacation and have few things to lose tbh. I blocked you, but you’ll find a way back if you feel this is really worth it.

You certainly found it worth it enough to slap that anon button to insult me and dress it up as idk ?? being helpful & even kind in your mind?? If you followed my fics, you know the nasty msgs I get monthly so why would I take a personal jab as from a good place? Why would anyone mean to act “holier than thou” ???? Telling me you’re not coming from a bad place....yet you still went anon bc you knew how this read. Hm. Anyways....to answer, I’ll just unpack this neatly:::

1) ???? When did I say ANY of that even in a talk down/negative context??? lmao I even searched my asks trying to find myself being this rude. Slide into my DMs and let me know bc from my POV, you’re blatantly misreading something or making it up?? I’m confused and of course, I’d never want to come across any kind of way like that! If I ever mention young ppl, I mean actual teenagers in fandom spaces that adults get nasty interacting with. Ppl in their 20s/30s+ really need to be mindful about interacting with ppl under 18 and attacking them or being creepy and inappropriate with them/their content. Don’t twist my words.

Ppl who write thin OCs still get hate on their fics lmao, I did. But they don’t get constant hate generally based on their size or race. ((Also like...we’re all aware of fatphobia & racism in fandom and what types of OCs/characters are targets for that...esp if they’re being paired with favs... Writers of color are absolutely also allowed their frustrations with racism in fandom spaces btw too. Do not talk over them. Just listen and be aware. Do your best.))

2) I absolutely DO NOT think I’m better or “more moral/braver” than any other writer on here wtf, I consider myself even “still young” and learning... I’m in my 20s, I’m not a fandom gma trying to police anyone??? As long as you’re living your best life, surrounded by the best content YOU want, go tf off, sis!!! We’re all in a pandemic here trying to get by.

Writing is always a growing process and we’re doing it for free, it’s not perfect and always is a skill that gets better as we do it. I try not to compare myself to others, my fics are mine and that’s IT. I’m allowed to be proud of what I’ve created and I encourage all writers to do the same. A lot of writers are happy and patting themselves on the back for what they created but I’m NOT taking digs or doing it cause I think I’m some brave crusader on a mission. I’m too tired for that bull. I don’t get/want cool points for anything. Have you sent these concerns to any one else for doing the same??? Or are you irked I’m trying to uplift MY fat character?? That I get constant hate for??? More reflection for you.

3) I’ve been incredibly supportive of OCs of all shapes and sizes. I’ve gotten asks shading thin/white “model” ocs and only ever preached patience and support to all oc writers bc it’s never right to bring someone down to lift someone else up. It’s never right to shame a writer not hurting anyone. All OCs are good OCs. That’s the point I always make!! Writing is hard. Finding face claims is hard. Making whole ass humans for a fictional world is hard. So, I’m constantly posting/replying to be open and understanding with writers, whatever they do. It’s their fic. Their characters. Their choices. All OCs are valid.

No one is obligated to make a specific type of OC, just make the OCs you want to see. I don’t think it’s right to hate or shade ANY writer/OC and I make it clear in asks that try to suggest otherwise. Maybe go reread them before slapping that brave anon button again to come from ‘a good place.’

4) Evie is ONE of FIVE OCs I’ve written on this account. And the only plus size OC of them too so IDK why I’d ever act ‘holier than thou’ about a SINGLE OC when the numbers are 1 of 5 here... I’m not gifting the fandom the gift of me, I’m just writing content I enjoy. I’m gifting it to my damn self. There’s no crusade. There’s no BIG STATEMENT UWU. She’s not some political piece, y’all can be so dehumanizing with that toward fat characters or characters of color. Just let them exist proudly. If you don’t like it maybe they’re really not for you!

Evie’s literally just a character I created that I adore. Fat characters exist and they can be whatever we writers want. If people feel represented by her, I think that’s amazing and I so so appreciate when I’m told. It’s a special thing to see yourself represented when you never do in fandom or mainstream spaces!! She represents parts of me too that I’m still learning to love. But if not, I’m sure she’s still relatable. She has a whole personality beyond being a plus size girl bc being fat is not her defining trait. We absolutely should encourage more positive diversity in fandom, esp in main characters. Everyone of all sizes writing about what they look like is awesome! We agree on that point!

5) Evie is one of five ocs. Again. I’ve gotten hate messages and passive aggressive comments for all three of my big fics. Evie has ONLY EVER gotten hate for her size and race. She’s gotten a LOT.  ((sometimes her eating disorder, but that’s another issue)) And yeah, it doesn’t shock me. It’s too transparent. People who relate to her don’t deserve that shame either.

I hadn’t even started posting the actual fic before I got my first hate msg about her being an “oc reach bc billy hates fat chicks” whatever. So I think I’m allowed to defend and stan her that much harder and her role in this fic. I think I’m allowed to gush about how much I love her story against all the disgusting hate she gets. I’m not apologizing for that. Me loving Evie super hard has nothing to do with anyone else’s OC. It’s not a mission. It’s not a dig. She’s mine.

**So no, anon, I don’t think I’m doing any big, in your face, public service with my ONE plus size oc. I don’t think I’m better. I think I’m just creating content for myself to enjoy. If others enjoy it too, awesome!! If not, they’ll find something else to enjoy. It’s a big space with lots of amazing writers, I can even direct you to a few!!! I’m happy to do that!! ****If I really had an issue with white or skinny ocs....I wouldn’t be writing them myself which I DO. I wouldn’t be supporting my fellow writers who also write them!!

So you’ll excuse me if I don’t believe that you actually support Evie or me or my fics. All this message served to do was dwindle an author’s excitement for her OC and accomplishments. And you didn’t do that. I’ll try even harder to support fellow writers around me tho!! ^_^

If this is a big misunderstanding bc you misreading asks that I’ve gotten or you misread my tone or remarks anywhere, that’s really not my issue either. IDK, maybe I’m popping off too much too, but this accusation is truly mean-spirited. I know things don’t always translate over the internet well, but I’ve been openly loving and supportive to fellow friends and authors despite anything that’s been said. Even through laundry lists of passive aggressive and hateful messages about my stories since my first fic took off. I’ve seen friends get hate too and I can’t stand that they have to deal with that. They SHOULD be proud of their works always.

I know I don’t deserve them and I know I don’t deserve this either. I know who I am at the end of the day and I know what I put into the world and I know that my fics are mine first. I know my truth and I hope you know yours behind that anon button.

So, thank you for your concerns but please drop them somewhere else and have a wonderful day enjoying the free content we put out. Support your favorite writers and encourage all writers to keep doing what they love and getting better at it! Thanks!!! xoxo :)))

[writeiolite]

Hey its me again the yuji/oikawa anon having a perception crises. I know you prob get a lot of asks but honestly when you answer mine I get really really flustered. Im really shy and fanfics help my self esteem. Youre such an amazing writer. I was married twice before and both marriages ended because my partner cheated. Yuuji was my comfort character and seeing him leave Y/N for his soul mate and oikawa forgetting y/n as well brought up so many bad memories and honestly I wish I could forget reading it but I have such a hard time with cheaters and I think your fic made oikawa my new comfort character and now I'm scared because he's obviously a player in Canon and now idk what to do pls help 💔🥲

OH NO OMG NO NO NO AAAA IM SO SORRY ;-; OMG IM GONNA PUNCH MY SCREEN PLEAJDJWJAN

oki 1 — i’m proud of u for sending asks even when u get flustered and shy bc ik it’s not easy 🥺 and every little effort has big accomplishments :D going out of ur comfort zone (esp frequently omg u have sent so many asks AAAA im rly thankful) isn’t easy, but ur doing it anyway and that’s growth!! nothing ventured, nothing gained.

2 —

u don’t deserve that shit what the fuck yo i’m ??? it’s incredible that u got through that even when u shouldn’t have had to. i honestly don’t have much experience with cheating to that degree and fear that i’ll say the wrong thing — idek if u want my comfort or if u want a soundboard but either is okay!!! i’m here for u. have lots n lots of love n support for u, and admire ur resilience.

3 — i think the best thing abt fan fiction is that u can always get pleeeenttttyyyyyy of it and divulge into that even if it doesn’t match ur perception of the canon! if oikawa is ur comfort character but that leaves u conflicted (valid) then it might help to read some good fluffy stuff for him that leaves a stronger impact on you than the canon does. sorta like how ppl believe his knee injury to be canon but it was actually a headcanon fans came up with! like i don’t view him as a player and i cant tell if that’s canon or bc i just read and write so many fics of him not being one, so it’s definitely workable!!! u have control over this and i don’t want u to be sad or worry to hard abt it ;-;

i’m so sorry omg i wish there was more i could do to help n ur always welcome to let me know if there is!!! don’t be shy to come here to vent or whatever else u need. and if u don’t want me to answer it n just needed a place to scream, u can say so n i’ll read n delete (or not read and just delete)! comfort characters are important to feeling safe for some people and i rly don’t want anyone to feel anything but comfort from them 🥺🥺🥺 if u want me to write some fluffy teru stuff or anything just lmk omg i don’t want u to feel bad in any way shape or form!!!

[szopenhauer]

If money was no object, would you change your wardrobe? I would add to my wardrobe more than change

How do you/did you get to school? walk, then by bus

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? yep

Is the idea of having a secret admirer creepy or romantic? creepy

What was the last song you sung out loud? https://youtu.be/wycjnCCgUes

Were you excited to learn to drive, or scared? worried that I’ll waste my money

When was the last time you felt incredibly tired? today

In your opinion, who doesn’t deserve to be famous? many people

Was it hard for you to get up this morning? not really

When was the last time you colored with crayons or colored pencils? few months ago

Do you feel comfortable talking about your disorders, if you have them? depends

Where did you go on your last field trip? not sure which was last

Do you think you make a good first impression? no

Do other people’s first impressions stick with you? might

Have you ever had to give up on someone? sure

Would you rather break up with someone, or them break up with you? them break up with me (not my decision) but usually it’s the other way around

Do you think it’s okay to like a cover more than an original? umm...

Are you calm in emergency situations? depends

Who are you most attached to? my dad

What do you depend on other people for? money mostly :(

What goes through your mind when someone breaks up with you? depends

Do you match your shoes with your outfit? sometimes, it’s not that I have enough shoes to do that lol

Do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse? female 

What was the last thing you bragged about? not sure what was last

What’s the ugliest thing on your wall? umm...

Who’s your favorite philosopher? Schopenhauer because of all the memes

Do you think Freud was out of his mind? well I prefer Jung

Einstein? he was cool

Who’s your favorite painter/artist? I like many 

What day is it? Friday

Are you wearing anything blue?  nah

Do you know anyone named Graham? just bread :P

Are you sitting next to anyone? not currently

Do you dislike the last person you Facebook messaged? nope

Who’s the quietest of all your friends? K. always was 

Are you home alone right now? If so, where are the people you live with? my mom’s home, my dad is at work

Are you a chocoholic? noooo

Is there a song that reminds you of the person you love/like? Do you listen to that song often? one of them is t.a.t.u. - All the things she said

Do you listen to music while you fill out surveys? sometimes

In the past week, what song have you listened to the most often? not sure

While playing video games, do you prefer being first or second player? second 

How many people do you depend on? not many

How many people do you think depend on you? they could live without me

What is the worst color combination? brown and black?

Have you ever injured yourself walking around in the dark? yeah

What’s so scary about clowns, anyway? nothing to me and it’s annoying that they’re part of so many horrors

When was the last time you acted like someone you’re not? sigh...

How many hats do you own/wear? shitload

Do you ever receive comments on your weight? ppl are jealous of my weight so basically my illness :(

Is there anything that you do just to make other people happy? of course

What was the last thing that you wrote down [with a pen/pencil]? not sure what was last

Has anyone told you that you have a nice smile? my gf only

Are you uncomfortable with being photographed? yup

Do you like playing tic-tac-toe? I always win What about hangman? I played it couple of times Are you dangerously in love with someone? woah 

Are you cute or sexy? cute Is English your 1st language? it’s not Did you ever perform in front of your entire school? elementary - more than once Did your older sibling ever tell you freaky stories that you believed? one time she told me that school was flooded and there were fish and frogs and then I said that to my mom and she called me a liar and got mad even tho I explained to her it was my sister’s idea :(  Are you single and proud? you can be single and proud as well as be happy in a relationship too, I am in one now  Are you more happy when you’re with people or alone? 90% of time alone What do you think about guys shaving their legs? that’s their life Do you wear lipstick? nah Name something you lost or gave away that can never be replaced. I don’t wanna talk about it

What music album would be used for a movie about your life? soundtrack to my life would have to be a mix of songs from different bands/vocalists

Who was your first crush and what made them special? she was just adorable with her clumsiness and her perfect body and that face and voice and she was just a pretty cool friend to me and I wanted to take care of her so badly, she was the very first girl I ever had a crush on irl if not in general but she was hetero and she changed a lot (not in a good way in my opinion) Write about your first kiss. Was it everything you wished or hoped it would be? I... I never imagined my first kiss before it happened?...

Write about something you now know that you wish you knew earlier in life. How could this knowledge have helped you? blergh

Name one thing you feel brings out the good in people. there’s no such thing, it’s all about the person  If you invented a device that could fix one problem you are facing right now, would you use it? What problem would you like to solve? absolutely, my health issues Name something you found; what was it and where did you find it? I’ve found shitload of stuff but one thing was the most odd and that’s a taxidermy ferret shawl someone left on a bus stop - at first we thought with dad it must be alive but we came closer and realized someone lost their piece of cloth and we took it  Describe the longest amount of time you have ever been away from home. almost a month, I was in hospital Name a celebrity or famous person you wish would take you out on a date. - Have you ever seen a ghost? it seems, it was not just white but a little bluish, no legs and weird face - shaped like in a clay, mostly transparent, slightly glowing, it was in open doors of my room, I woke up with a weird feeling that someone’s watching me and I got really scared so I hidden under a blanket and didn’t look there again until morning, I was trying to convince myself it’s just a shirt that was hanged in the hall but mom said there wasn’t anything like that there at night, now I wish I could see that again hoping I would try to do something more brave about it, I kinda worry I was rude towards them whoever it was 

*btw my grandma said that after death some chemicals leave the body and fly like a fog through the cemetery if casket and grave aren’t blocking it too much Describe your note-taking style and habits. everywhere and usually not in line, can be even upside down, just random, different size, clue words etc. Do you believe that we are all here for a reason? What might the reason be? suffering to deserve heaven? Have you ever done something just to feel the danger, or to feel alive? I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain The only thing that's real What are all your thoughts on god? overthinking... What did you learn today?  for example - that explaining things to people make me realize more than just thinking about something What 5 traits do people first notice when they meet you for the first time? ask them Have you ever carved your name or initials into a tree or stone? poor tree :( In what ways have you traveled? car, bus, train, bike, even a little bit by ship What historical events happened the year you were born? nothing interesting

Do you watch really old tv shows or movies from the 1970’s or earlier? sure

What would you do if you saw a complete stranger dealing drugs in public? nothing If you don’t have to be up by a certain time, do you like to sleep in as late as possible? no longer than 11 am What are you wearing at the moment? Is it for any particular reason? pajama because it’s past midnight and I should be asleep but I have to finally finish this survey then dry my hair and drink some water first Are either one of your parents retired?  my mom is and my dad will be soon Do you buy a lot of DVD’s, or do you tend to just watch everything online for free? watch online, I have no money for buying movies that I’ll watch less than 3 times Does everyone in your household own their own computer? nope

Are you a good gift giver? I try my best and been told that I am despite not being rich 

Do you know what XOXO stands for? hugs and kisses

What’s the first person who comes to your mind when you hear the word blue? me

Have you seen any of the Harry Potter movies? first ones

Do you like your significate others siblings? I don’t know her brother

Have you ever recieved a singing birthday card? omg I loved those and I wish I got one :(

Do you remember who your kindergarten/pre-school teacher was? I liked her so much I’ve been sending her cards on holidays years after

Were you ever a girl scout or a boy scout? never

Do you own anything made of lace? hmm...

How many people do you share a name with? I don’t know anyone with my name

Imagine your dream home, does it have a fence around it? if it’s not an apartment then of course it does, highest possible and thick as I don’t want to see or be seen by my neighbors

Do you own any yellow shoes? yep

Can you type fast? very

In school were you bullied? I was

Are you sarcastic? yeah

Do you read the newspaper? nah

If you died today where do you think you’d go? hell :(

Have you ever been to therapy? few times, didn’t help

Do you use online dating? did

Did you miss alot of school? I was sick often

What was the last thing you got falsely accused of? not sure what was last

What was the last thing you ordered online? shirt, I’m waiting for the package now

Have you ever been kicked out of a store? no :o

Do you feel like you accomplished anything today? hmm...

What is/was your favorite teen magazine? trzynastka or however this shit was called

Would other people describe you as creative? I guess

What color are your slippers? grey and white

Are you haunted by memories of stupid things you’ve said and done? constantly

Did you like high school or college better? didn’t go to college

Who was your favorite Olsen twin? I didn’t have a favorite 

Do you ever listen to Celtic music? used to, with John

Do you know a lot of rich and spoiled and selfish people? had classmates like this and neighbors too

Do you enjoy mornings? rarely, not really

Have you ever feared going to jail or thought about what it would be like? thought

Did you know that the zodiac signs (the regular ones) are Greek? ok

Have you ever learned about Greek mythology in school? didn’t like it

Do you stay up late? as you can see

what do you hear right now? nothing

what is one thing in your life you feel truly guilty for? personal

have you ever been slapped in the face? I’ve been slapped without any reason, I was bullied

how about punched? hit with a ball only and my head was hit with a bottle too once

have you ever come up with a memorable quote yourself? I’ve been quoted 

what do you think about masturbation? personal

What color did you first ever dye your hair?: either red or black

What’s the color of the bath towel you use most often?: green

Ever eaten a piece of dog or cat food out of curiosity?: ewww, nooo

Can you name one song by Prince?: Purple rain for example

Would you rather paint or make pottery?: paint

Are you currently taking this survey before or after 9pm?: after, I started over 5 hours ago...

Is the sun shining bright outside right now?: it’s the middle of the night!

Would you rather watch a horror movie or a romantic comedy?: romantic comedy ^^”

[applewoodprincess]

Curious Cat: describing SVT personalities

J: kind and selfless to a fault, willing to sacrifice himself if it means letting the ppl he cares about flourish. he's very shy, yet at the same time, very easily excitable. he's a child at heart, but he'll only open up to ppl he is closed to. he clings to his members, seeking affection, playing pranks on them as a way to show his affection toward them. childish & clingy, but incredibly intelligent and clever. he's faced a lot of hardships, but the fact that he always holds a positive attitude is amazing. he's not greedy nor takes things for granted, he knows how to appreciate what he has, but constantly aims to ameliorate himself. he forces himself to be confident bc it helps him believe in himself in order to keep going. he's very humble about himself, but will throw a parade for his members. non-huihuis often see him as a weirdo, but i see it as him finally being comfortable enough to show us his lovable and eccentric quirks. overall, junnie is an adorable and sweet kid, who loves his members and triggers people's motherly instincts 😆 (god, i love him so much)

HS: spazzy but intense. we all know how he gets when he's excited and having fun lol. he's among the moodmakers, the one always ready to cheer you on and offer to help you. he is very kind and generous, and yes, spazzy lol. on the flip side, when it comes time to work, he is INTENSE. he's hard on himself AND his members. he knows when to stop goofing and get serious. he may be a little clueless when it comes to most things, but he's far from dumb. super passionate and determined.

WW: the hot nerd jk 😂 idk how it's possible for someone to be such a perfect blend of: confidence, intelligence, kindness, and playfulness. (not to say that the others are shallow FAR FROM IT), but wonu is just so deep? in everything he does, he puts in so much thought, carefully choosing his words and actions. he's the cool kid that gets cooler as you spend time with him. he tends to be on the quieter side (when not having fun with the rest of them), but he knows how to take charge and be assertive when he needs to. the way he cares for his members isn't obvious as some others, but it's there, subtle yet significant. something else i really appreciate from him is the amount of thoughtfulness he puts into something he knows is important--not necessarily for himself, but for others. like how he took the time to learn flower language bc fans gave him flowers, or how he continuously wore the bracelet that jun's mom gave 96z. and his determination and sheer willpower. god, that clip from HTR. he was ready to collapse, yet didn't allow himself to. the fact he was able to push forward and finish the show speaks volumes of his sense of responsibility and determination. *sigh* jeon wonu, you are the perfect man

WZ: tough marshmallow lol. bc he's strict, but also super soft and sweet! haha. if WW comes across as closed off at first sight, then WZ is basically a hermit lol. he's very shy, but he's grown to be confident and proud of what he's accomplished. of course there are still fears and worries, but he's by no means hesitant or indecisive when it comes to what he wants from his music. passionate and serious, but still sweet and caring. a man of few words, but many melodies and poems~

T8: very goal-orientated and ambitious. a realistic, but still able to dream and create beautiful art pieces that require imagination. a romantic. kind and sweet, but not overtly emotional. down to earth and practical. (the same can be said for wonhoon too but) not someone to condone BS lol. protective of his members. won't hesitate to snap back if there is injustice or unfairness. despite the serious attitude, a real loving kid.

MG: mr. perfect, with a slice of clumsiness jk 😂 a soft boy. the kind of friend you can count on. reliable and pleasant, friendly, outgoing. can get huffy at times, but it never lasts long. emotional. he just has A LOT of feels all the time about a lot of things. despite being pretty much perfect, he still strives to better himself, never letting his achievements get to his head. his clumsiness isn't limited to breaking/dropping things. some of the things he says sometimes does come across as a little tactless, but it's never with bad intentions. he's an all around GOOD BOY. very soft and gentle.

DK: the kindest soul~ most ppl see him as a little ditzy, and he does tend to be clueless and silly, but he has such a big heart. and a very good moodmaker! it's not for nothing that he's our sunshine! hahah. but he's so hardworking, too. and also super emotional. if MG channels his emotions through speeches and writing, then DK just lets his emotions flow out haha. it's raw and honest. not one to pretend or put on airs. what you see is what you get. an honest and kind boy :D

SK: sassy lol. he is such a delight tbh. one of the brightest spots in the universe. not only is he smart, he quick on his feet and can turn any situation around. sure, he nags and sasses his members, but he loves them so much??? also king at reading the mood in a room. king of entertainment. king of moodmakers. he can be loud and confident and funny and lead an entire show. but on the other hand, he is very sensitive and ALSO emotional. yes, he cries a lot lol, but he's also more likely to lash out when he's mad (which is actually hilarious to see ngl). among svt, he probably takes care of their image as idols the most lol.

VN: (anyone who comes to me with "VN stoner" comments will get smacked). he is a sweet and caring kid, mischievous at times, but doesn't have a bad bone in his entire body. yes, he's spacey, but he is true to himself and what he wants. he doesn't bend for trends or anybody's opinion, and i honestly find that admirable. even more so than josh, he is very mellow. he is much more of the listening type, but afterward, he will talk and give you his honest opinions. he doesn't mince words. very honest and true. also great supporter, even when he doesn't quite understand lol. while he seems pretty mature, the fact that he's still much a baby when it comes to everyday life is really cute.

DN: a very mature and independent young man. in a way, i think he's quite similar to Hao, with how he is very ambitious and strives to do/learn more and more, to hone in his skills. very passionate, too. he is very responsible and capable of taking the lead, which he does when it comes to dancing (only second to HS). he acts like a hyung lol (and you can see it pretty clearly in the way he and jun interact). i think he has an easier time being the maknae nowadays lol. a reliable young man full of passion!

oh, man. this is a huge essay 😅 i'm sorry it's so long! and i'm probably forgetting a bunch of details for each member, so pls don't get mad at me 🙏😭 these are just my own personal thoughts about each of them, even if they're lacking. all in all, we are very lucky to have 13 wonderful, kind, and talented young men.

ahhh thank you, my dear! please take care and stay safe, too! hopefully this is satisfactory 😅

(i should have ch. 17 out in a few days. thank you for the wait!) xoxoxo

[vergils-daughter]

Nero & Dad!Vergil

Nero tells Vergil everyone believes he is Dante’s son because they have similar personalities, ppl skills,… Vergil’s response? :) 

So, this is my first commission. I am so excited and... confused, because I found this question really difficult. Vergil is a complex character. How would he react to Nero's question? Would Nero want to tease him or make him feel sorry for not being around for such a long time?

 I decided to write both in English and Polish, as I love my native language. Also I'm used to write more novelist fanfics, so this one would be something more/longer than just dialog.

  It was one of those evenings when Nero could not find anything to occupy himself with. He completed his last assignment over a week ago. He already healed, had plenty of food and rest. He handed his cybernetic arm over to Nico for repairs, he discussed strategies with Dante and Lady and made at least a dozen phone calls to Kyrie. And now he was feeling that he was starting to get seriously bored. Seriously. Bored. He wandered around the ground floor of the DMC headquarters, he shifted Dante's magazines from one place to another. He switched between radio stations in the antique receiver which stood on the windowsill. From time to time he let out a loud sigh or he hummed a tune. Simply put, he was loosing his senses.

 He was such a contrast to Vergil - who was unmoved, still like a statue, reading something in the corner of the room as usual. The light of the lamp caught only the book and the lower part of his face. Corners of his lips were slightly raised, as if in amusement.

 Nero was unaware how he gravitated towards him. Finally he stopped for a while and, as if suddenly noticing the other man's presence, began watching him intensely. He took a bite on an apple he picked up somewhere on the way. Finally he said, as if to himself:

"People say that I must be Dante's son."

 Vergil flipped a book page and went on reading.

 "Everyone believes that we are not only physically similar to each other" - Nero continued, "but that we behave in the same way".

 Perhaps he was imagining it, but it seemed Vergil sighed softly.

 "Well, all in all, it is not that strange. I spent a lot of time in his companion. We even have a similar fighting style." Nero shifted his shoulders, clenched his hands into fists - the left as far as the apple allowed it- and made a few test blows, dripping juice around the room. "Same movements. Way of dealing blows. Even how we hold the sword..."

 He looked at Vergil and noted, not without satisfaction, that the man put the book away and was now looking directly at him.

 "Indeed" - he said, slowly. "Thus, we must do something about it."

 He rose almost theatrically, letting the cloak slide from his shoulders, and reached for the Yamato, which was lying near by. Nero froze in the middle of his next bite, his jaw slightly dropping. Vergil was now holding the hilt with two hands, but the blade remained sheathed. He took a long, measuring look at his son, head to toes.

 "Show me what you've got" - he said.

 The boy dropped the apple and looked around in search of his own blade, which he found by the stairs. The Red Queen shone in the light of the lamp.

 He could not tell where this was headed or what was Vergil expecting of him. He surely had not intended to cause this with that little provocation. But then, on the other hand, if the old man wanted to solve things with a fight, who was Nero to tell him otherwise? He swung around with a loud swish and without much thinking he advanced towards Vergil. He led the demonic blade sharply upward, aiming under Vergil's arm, but it only cut through the air as his father moved away, and a kick from the side sent Nero against the wall.

 The boy staggered but quickly regained firm ground and turned around, just in time to deflect a thrust. With a short cry he jumped to meet the next blow. The sword and katana met with a loud cling. Nero felt demon awakening inside him and blue, ethereal wings started to form above his shoulders.

 "Put those away, boy" - barked Vergil, pushing harder and tilting the blade so that the Red Queen slid downwards. As soon as the boy's body began to follow the sword, Vergil smashed against his shoulder with his elbow, increasing the momentum. Nero dropped to one knee, screaming. He wanted to rise again, but the touch of the still-sheathed Yamato on his neck made him freeze. Were the blade naked, his throat would have been cut already.

 "What do you mean to prove this way?" - he barked angrily. Vergil had a formidable fighting style, he had known this for a while now. The man's moves were calculated, economical, perfect, without any claptrap. His evasions were done with a minimum of movements and his katana stokes were calculated to kill instantly. What was the point of this show? To make his son feel inexperienced? A dead weight?

 Nero felt his jaw muscles clenching from rage. He was fed up with this kind of treatment. Perhaps he was unconsciously trying to provoke Vergil, but he had not expected violence. He had not expected...

 "There is a saying: in combat, the heart must be hot, but the head must remain calm " - the silent tones of Vergil's voice brought Nero back. The pressure on the neck weakened, but not entirely. Nero rose his head and met his fathers cold, calculating gaze. - "It is hard to accomplish, even harder in the demonic form, when fire engulfs the body, when emotions make it hard to see clearly. Combat becomes... almost thoughtless. Before you start fighting as a demon, learn to defeat others as a human. Demon is only there to help you increase your strength and fortitude, nothing more. You cannot forget about your technique and your human side." Vergil withdrew his sword, turned around and let out a heavy sigh.

 Nero thought that there had to be more to that than fatigue. At first annoyed at the obvious remarks, now, thinking of his father's past, his attempt to reject his humanity he suddenly understood the change the man had to go through in the last few months. A change which was, perhaps, yet incomplete.

 There also seemed to be some sort of resignation in the silent words of his father. Perhaps resulting from reconciliation with his own self. It was not just some lesson he wanted to pass on to his son, this was admitting that he has been living in error for the most part of his life. Bearing in mind how proud a person he was, this sort of confession must have been hard for him.

 Nero did not know what to say, he was stunned. The silence went on, until the boy stood up and looked at his father's back.

 "Will you teach me?"

 Vergil flintched and half turned. Nero was unsure, but for a second there he might have seen a faint smile on the man's face. It was one of those hard-won moments when they had some form of understanding. Their relation was far from the typical father and son bond and Nero doubted if they ever could approach any level of normality, but these moments meant a lot to him.

 "Yes, Nero. I will teach you." - Vergil said, at last. "This, and much more. As for the rest of your... habits"

 Oh boy, thought Nero, this is where it all goes wrong.

 "...you have always reminded me more of your mother".

Oraz polska wersja:

To był jeden z tych wieczorów, kiedy Nero nigdzie nie mógł znaleźć miejsca. Ostatnie zlecenie wykonał ponad tydzień temu, zdążył się wyleczyć, umówić strategię z Dantem i Lady, oddać Nico mechaniczne przedramię do naprawy, odpocząć, najeść i wykonać tuzin telefonów do Kyrie. Teraz czuł, że zaczyna się zwyczajnie, po ludzku, nudzić. Kręcił się po parterze siedziby DMC, przekładał czasopisma Dantego z miejsca na miejsce. Przełączał stacje radiowe w antycznym odbiorniku, który stał na parapecie. Wzdychał, coś tam do siebie nucił. Słowem – odchodził od zmysłów.

Stanowił kontrast do Vergila, który niewzruszony, nieruchomy jak posąg, jak zwykle czytał coś w kącie pokoju. Światło lampy wydobywało z mroku tylko dolną część jego twarzy i książkę. Kącik ust był lekko uniesiony, jakby w rozbawieniu.

Nero chwilę obserwował go w skupieniu i, niby do siebie, powiedział.

-Ludzie mówią, że na pewno jestem synem Dantego.

Vergil przełożył kartkę i zaczął czytać następną stronę.

-Wszyscy uważają – Nero ciągnął niewzruszony – że nie tylko jesteśmy do siebie fizycznie podobni, ale wręcz zachowujemy się tak samo.

Mogło mu się zdawać, ale Vergil cicho westchnął.

- W sumie nic dziwnego, spędziłem z nim naprawdę wiele czasu. Nawet styl walki mamy prawie identyczny– Nero poruszył barkami, zacisnął dłonie w pięści i wykonał kilka próbnych ciosów – Ruchy, sposób wyprowadzania ciosów, to, jak trzymamy miecz...

Zerknął na Vergila i z niejaką satysfakcją zauważył, że ten odłożył książkę i patrzy na niego.

-Niewątpliwie – powiedział wolno ojciec – Dlatego trzeba coś z tym zrobić.

Wstał, zrzucił z ramion płaszcz i sięgnął po leżący nieopodal Yamato. Nero zastygł w połowie ruchu, dopiero po chwili zorientował się, że szczęka lekko mu opadła. Vergil ujął rękojeść katany w obie dłonie, jednak nie wyciągnął ostrza z pochwy. Zmierzył syna od stóp do głów.

-Pokaż, na co cię stać.

Chłopak rozejrzał się w poszukiwaniu swojego miecza, który leżał przy schodach. Czerwona Królowa zalśniła w świetle lampy.

Nie za bardzo wiedział, czego Vergil od niego oczekuje, a swoją zaczepką na pewno nie spodziewał się wywołać takiego efektu. Ale, z drugiej strony, jeśli staruszek chce rozwiązać cokolwiek walką, to kim jest Nero, by mu się sprzeciwiać? Zawinął mieczem ze świstem i bez zastanowienia ruszył na Vergila. Demoniczne ostrze pomknęło ostro po skosie w górę, celując pod pachę Vergila, ale tylko przecięło powietrze, a wyprowadzony z boku kopniak posłał Nero na ścianę.

Chłopak zatoczył się i obrócił błyskawicznie, by w ostatniej chwili odbić sztych. Z okrzykiem skoczył na spotkanie kolejnego ciosu. Miecz i katana spotkały się z trzaskiem. Nero poczuł, jak budzi się w nim demon, a nad barkami zaczęły formować się błękitne, eteryczne skrzydła.

-Schowaj to, chłopcze – warknął Vergil, napierając mocniej i przechylając ostrze tak, że Czerwona Królowa ześlizgnęła się w dół. Kiedy tylko ciało chłopaka podążyło za mieczem, grzmotnął go łokciem w bark, zwiększając impet. Nero z okrzykiem opadł na jedno kolano. Chciał się zerwać, ale dotyk Yamato na szyi – wciąż schowanego w pochwie – kazał mu znieruchomieć. Gdyby ostrze było nagie, już miałby rozpłatane gardło.

-No i co chcesz udowodnić w ten sposób?! – warknął chłopak z wściekłością. Vergil miał niesamowitą technikę, wiedział o tym nie od dziś. Jego ruchy były oszczędne, perfekcyjne, pozbawione jakiegokolwiek efekciarstwa. Uniki wykonywał za pomocą minimum ruchów, a ciosy kataną za każdym razem były obliczone tak, by zabić od razu. Ale jaki cel miał ten pokaz? Upokorzyć własnego syna, zmusić go, by poczuł, jak bardzo jest niedoświadczony? Zbędny?

Nero czuł, jak z wściekłości napinają mu się mięśnie szczęki. Miał dość takiego traktowania. Może i podświadomie chciał sprowokować Vergila, ale nie spodziewał się przemocy. Nie spodziewał się...

-Jest takie powiedzenie: w walce głowa musi być chłodna, a serce gorące – cichy głos Vergila sprowadził go z powrotem. Nacisk na szyi zelżał, ale nie całkowicie. Nero uniósł głowę i napotkał chłodne, badawcze spojrzenie ojca. – Podczas demonicznej przemiany jest to bardzo trudne do osiągnięcia. Ogień wypełnia całe ciało, emocje przeszkadzają w jasnym widzeniu. Walka przeradza się w bezmyślną siekaninę. Zanim zaczniesz walczyć jako demon, naucz się pokonywać innych w ludzkiej postaci. Demon ma ci tylko pomóc w zwiększeniu swojej siły i odporności, ale nie możesz zapomnieć o technice i swojej ludzkiej stronie – Vergil wycofał miecz, cofnął się i westchnął ciężko. Nero odniósł wrażenie, że w geście tym zawiera się o wiele więcej, niż tylko znużenie. Pomny przeszłości ojca, jego próby odrzucenia własnego człowieczeństwa, zdał sobie sprawę z przemiany, jaką ten przeszedł w ciągu ostatnich kilku miesięcy. Przemiany, która jeszcze się nie zakończyła.

W cichych słowach Vergila pobrzmiewała też pewna rezygnacja wynikająca z pogodzenia z sobą. To nie była tylko część nauki, którą chciał przekazać synowi, to było przyznanie się do tego, że przez większość życia tkwił w błędzie. Biorąc pod uwagę, jak dumny jest to człowiek, tego typu zwierzenie musiało przyjść mu z wielkim trudem.

Nero nie wiedział, co na to odpowiedzieć, po prostu tkwił w oszołomieniu. Cisza przedłużała się, aż w końcu chłopak podniósł się i wbił wzrok w plecy ojca.

-Nauczysz mnie tego?

Vergil drgnął. Nero nie był pewien, ale chyba dojrzał cień uśmiechu na twarzy mężczyzny. To był jeden z tych z trudem wywalczonych momentów, kiedy udawało im się osiągnąć jakąś nić porozumienia. Ich relacja wciąż odbiegała od zwykłej więzi między ojcem i synem – Nero wątpił, by kiedykolwiek zbliżyli się do jakiejś normy – ale takie chwile były dla niego bardzo cenne.

-Tak, Nero. Nauczę cię tego i o wiele więcej. – powiedział w końcu Vergil. – A co do tych innych... podobieństw i nawyków.

Oho, pomyślał Nero, zaraz wszystko się zepsuje.

-To zawsze bardziej przypominałeś mi swoją matkę.