#i’ll leave you with an example of what i’m talking about
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frustrated because i want to get educated on feminist theory but idk where to start, especially since there’s so much flawed feminism out there (god, you’re saying i have to read it all and form my own opinion? but that’s so much work! just tell me what One feminist work i should read to know everything) but it’s so important because i’m becoming increasingly convinced that our deemphasis on theory is killing feminism.
we’re losing her. we’re doing vibes-based feminism we’re doing “whatever personal opinions i bring to the table without thinking about them are my political views” feminism we’re doing “it’s easy! if you don’t hate women and want them to die you’re a feminist!” feminism we’re doing VANITY feminism we’re doing “common sense” feminism (just a rephrase of “whatever personal opinions…” feminism) and we’re shocked that we’re losing. a political movement & ideology* that has NO thought behind it, JUST vibes. no pillars, no standards. what even is a feminist? when do you ever hear that articulated? unless, again, you’re hearing “a feminist is somebody who believes women are people :)” that’s exactly the problem i’m talking about.
this is why we’re losing ground to “criticizing beauty standards is antifeminist because it feels good to be pretty” feminism we’re losing ground to “you know what group has had it too good for too long? the transgender woman” feminism we’re losing ground to “feminism is for women AND men and the more we include men the more feminist it is” feminism.
frankly the way the transphobic feminism gains followers is it’s the only fucking side that actually gives somebody ARGUMENTS to latch on to. people are alienated by toothless no thoughts feminism and they’re going to people who are offering them some thoughts, and a bad argument beats the shit out of no argument at all. it’s like if you showed up to court with no lawyer? and you were like “everybody knows i’m right, morally. it’s common sense. the strength of that will protect me :)” you are going to prison. we could be doing transfeminist theory we could be explaining the role of gender in society and how it’s constructed and how women both cis & trans are constructed as women but instead we’re saying “i don’t hate trans women because i’m normal :)” that’s nothing!!! am i making myself clear do you see what i’m talking about!
and then the other two things i complained about, the “feminism is anything that makes me feel good, as a woman” and “feminism is for men, actually” are just because when we have zero standards for feminism it can mean anything at all. we could be talking about these things but we aren’t.
i don’t know how to fix this (i could learn more, but what then? well i guess id post about it for my followers. good enough, i guess. so it’s just that i don’t know how to learn more) but i am getting so frustrated with the way things are now. i know there’s people out there doing real things in the feminist space but i don’t know where to look… lot of trans women on my twitter tl talking about feminism (and yes that’s something, but i am hungry for more than twitter threads <3) and they’re fighting an uphill battle over there. like. god
* i feel like it’d be the good feminist thing to do to come down hard with “feminism is a MOVEMENT” but we do kind of need internal ideology before we can have external movement, probably. seems like people who already have feminist ideas are more likely to engage in feminist actions when the time comes. but idk i’m no political movements expert. this post is just me giving you my two cents on a specific concept
#i’ll leave you with an example of what i’m talking about#‘trans women are women’. true!#but gets denigrated as a mantra with nothing behind it by the gender critical side of things#and it DOES have meaning behind it. but frankly. how many of us know what that meaning is?#how many of us know what a woman is and why a trans woman is one#and that’s why their ‘what is a woman?’ line of questioning is so successful. because theres an answer to that question but nobody knows it!#‘um… well i know some trans women and i respect them…’ is a good place to START from but it’s not where you want to end up#post tag#i wrote this whole fucking thing as one paragraph & then slapped in some paragraph breaks & that fucking astrix#(the astrix stuff was just in parentheses before)#so. if it doesn’t read like separate paragraphs. that’s because it’s not. it’s one paragraph with some paragraph breaks thrown in#i wanted it to be a bit less than completely fucking unreadable#that’s why every paragraph ends with a end-of-sentence punctuation mark but the last sentence doesn’t#nervous to post something opinionated like this… if it’s not perfect maybe lmk & we can discuss it!#annnnnd post
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Naruto boys calling you ma’am ──☆*:・゚
!Slightly suggestive!
Characters: Naruto🦊,sasuke🗡️,Itachi🥀, kakashi🍃, kiba🐺, shikamaru🀄️,shino🪲,neji🎋,Lee🥋,choji🍥,gaara⏳,kankuro🪆
Naruto🦊-*
He’s sassy so ofc he’s gunna piss you off by calling you “ma’am” making you feel old. Normally when you scold him over stupid things he refers to you as that-
“Did you think about how dangerous that is?!” “No ma’am!” “use your little head before doing something dumb!” “Yes ma’am!” “ok stop with the ma’am I feel like a teacher scolding a bad student” “what you gunna smack me with a ruler?” Rolls eyes “I will if you don’t keep quiet!” “Whatever you say! Ma’am~” “I’ll be back with the ruler.” “WHAT?!”
Sasuke🗡️-*
He uses it nonchalantly or when he’s being goofy. Like everytime he leaves home you always say “be safe baby” and he always responds with “yes ma’am.” In a serious tone. He knows you worry that one day he may not come back so he must reassure you!
“Be safe Sasuke. I expect you home by 10!” “Yes ma’am, i will I promise. I must go now! I’ll see you at dinner darling” you whisper “it’s cute when you call me that” right before he closes the door (he heard it anyways)
Itachi🥀-*
He is such a good boyfriend honestly. He’s the kind of guy to do little tasks for you when you ask. So normally when your to lazy all you gotta do is ask him to do it instead!
“Tachi, can you please get me some more water?” “Yes ma’am!!!” Very rare times you ask him to do something without him responding with a “yes ma’am~”
Kakashi🍃-*
His mouth gets himself in trouble, sometimes he says things that could be viewed a different way without realizing it. For example he once said you remind him of a frog. I don’t know how it’s a compliment but he meant it as one…which obviously you didn’t know
“ARE YOU CALLING ME AN UGLY FROG KASHI?!” “N-no ma’am! That’s not what I mea-” “NO I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANNNN! YOU THINK IM SLIMEY TOAD” you start smiling once you realize how silly this really is “no I swear I meant it in a nice way!!!” “WELL-…did you call me ma’am?” “Uhm…depends do you not like it” you chuckle “no I don’t mind, it’s cute.” He lets out a sigh of relief “well I guess I’ll call you that more often?~”
Kiba🐺-*
Like kakashi his mouth gets him in trouble, exept Kiba does it on purpose to try and get a rise out of you he likes it when your rough ofc that means he just teases as much as possible, but then he tries acting all innocent
He’s on his knees directly infront of your legs waiting for you to look at him “I know what your doing Kiba. It’s not gunna work” he flashes the puppy eyes “well I’m not doing anything y/n🥺” “so your serious not trying to get a rise out of me?” “Noooo ma’am” you grab his face with your hand rather aggressively“is this want you want puppy?” A very quiet “Yes” could be heard from him
Shikamaru🀄️-*
He only calls you ma’am when you nag him about doing chores or helping you cook, he knows he can’t say no but “maam” is his only way of back talk
“Hey Shika be a dear and take out the trash” “ahhh yes anything for you ma’am.” He responded in the most sarcastic voice he could make “watch that tone babe!” “Yeah yeah whatever, such a pain” “I’ll show you pain.” A water bottle was soon thrown directly at his head LOL
Shino🪲-*
Call me weird but I feel like if he was going to call you something like that he would call you mistress instead but that’s for another time! When he does call you ma’am it’s mostly because he admires your leadership. You guys would be testing battle strategy and when you command him into a certain position you could here his cheerful “yes ma’am” while he runs into position
Neji🎋-*
He only uses it to get out of trouble actually. When he does something he isn’t supposed to he tries lying abt what he did
“Neji. Were you in my drawers?” “What!!! No ma’am that is absurd I would never dig through your shirt drawer!” You look at him with a blank stare “I never said it was my shirt drawer. Time to fess up pretty.” He sighs loudly. “Fine yes. But only because I missed your scent!!!” “Awwwww…kinda creepy but cute!!”
Lee🥋-*
Your like his own personal Inspirator. You give him pep talk like every single day and being the energy ball he is he is so hyped to hear about it
“Are you gunna train hard today?” “Yes ma’am!” “And you going to be proud of yourself no matter what?!” “Yes ma’am!!!!!” “Are you not gunna over work yourself for me?” “YES MA’AM!!!!”
Choji🍥-*
Again he takes your authority very seriously! So ma’am is fitting when your taking charge of every day things. Even if your not trying to be all serious he will always respect your power but he also looks to you for guidance
“Hey handsome you said you needed me?” “Yes y/n-chan. I figured you could help me with this?” You sigh “the only way I’ll be of help is if you do what I tell you too, can you…do that?” “Yes ma’am! I’m a very good listener!” You giggle “cute now let’s get started”
Gaara⏳-*
He has mommy issues and your strong and independent ofc he’s gunna call you names like that and ask for you to take care of him?! You love babying him anyways but it’s always so cute when he’s had a rough day mentally wise and the first thing he does is go to you
“Y/n, may we please have some alone time…” he asked shyly “of course rose, bad mental day?” You open your arms to him “yes ma’am. It was hard today.” He comments before hopping in your arms waiting for you to make everything better
Kankuro🪆-*
He calls you ma’am when your all mad at him for being bratty “but I was just checking out your new pants!” “You expect me to believe that you were just looking at my pants and not my ass?” “Yes ma’am” kinda like Kiba he wants you to be rough with him ok. He’s just trying to tease so you do something about it which you don’t because your strong, and it’s funner to just calling him a brat and watching him squirm at the insults

#naruto x reader#naruto reactions#naruto fanfiction#naruto headcanons#naruto imagines#naruto scenarios#sasuke uchiha x reader#sasuke x reader#sasuke uchiha#kakashi hatake#kakashi x reader#itachi uchiha#itachi x reader#kiba inuzuka x reader#kiba x reader#kiba inuzuka#shikamaru nara#shikamaru x reader#shino aburame#shino x reader#shino#neji#neji hyuga#neji x reader#rock lee x reader#rock lee#choji x reader#choji akimichi#gaara x reader#kankuro x reader
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The Easiest Way to Manifest/The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide to Manifesting! (My Personal Method)
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What if I told you there was a way to instantly manifest whatever you’ve ever wanted?
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I’m talking like, you think it and it appears minutes (or even seconds with practice) right before your eyes?
If you’re interested, this is how.
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Introduction:
So, let’s get into it. Hey, if you don’t know me, I’m kinda new here on Tumblr—new like I just started posting today type shit. (I literally set up my account hours ago.) I’ve been scrolling on this app for atleast a month now and I’ve been seeing some posts that are pretty helpful, so I just want to give my personal advice to any of those who are struggling. (Because that used to be me.) I wanna start this off with a warning…
Warning: If this doesn’t resonate with you, take what you like and leave the rest. If my advice doesn’t help you out it doesn’t have to! And don’t force yourself to use my technique if it feels weird to do or something you aren’t comfortable with. But if my method doesn’t work for you, (which I highly doubt because this can work with anyone and everyone) then maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. And also, I am not a professional. I am merely a vessel trying to pass my knowledge on to others. But, I do consider myself a Master at Manifesting, only because I’ve Mastered it. And my only goal is to help you Master it too. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to drop a comment or a DM. Thanks!
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The Law:
In this technique, I will be using the Law of Assumption. If you’re not sure what this is, let me explain…
The Law of Assumption is a universal Law for manifestation. As the name suggests, it means assuming. Everything you assume will become your reality. Practicing the Law of Assumption means realizing that the 4D (Your mental reality, your imagination) is the only thing that matters, not your 3D (Your physical reality, the thing you’re seeing right in front of your 2 eyes.)
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(Side Note: I use “LOA” to abbreviate/shorten “Law of Assumption.” Both of these terms will be highlighted in pink for your understanding. Also, the 4D is your imagination and the 3D is the physical world around you. I suggest you remember these terms.)
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An Example Scenario of Using The Law:
Example: Let’s say, I really want a soda. But I’m laying down in my bed, so obviously, I can’t see a soda in front of me. But, using the LOA, I can get my soda. Here’s how…
So, I’m sitting here in my bed really wishing I had a soda in my hands. To manifest a soda, I will use the LOA. To use the LOA, I will either think or speak out loud, whatever you want to do, to manifest. I will start thinking. “Damn. I really want a soda right now. I know I’ll get my soda. I want it so I can get it. I will have my soda, one way or another.” And a couple minutes later, I got a text from my parent saying they brought me a soda from the gas station. (Yes this example is a true story on how I started manifesting using the LOA for the first time.)
If you’re not picking up what I’m putting down, let me break it down. Here’s what just happened in that example:
1. I really wanted something (in this case the “something” was a soda)
2. I started to think about how I wanted it, then I assumed that I would get it, one way or another.
3. Boom! I got my desire. (Which was the soda in this case.)
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Breaking It Down:
See how easy that was? Within minutes I got my desire in only 3 easy steps. If you’re still confused, let me explain…
What happened there was I identified what I wanted (AKA: My desire being something I wanted.) Then, I used the LOA to manifest my desire to becoming my reality. Then naturally, the 3D followed what I thought in my 4D.
Literally the only thing I did was think what I wanted to happen and it happened in front of my eyes.
You: “But why? But how? How is that even possible—”
What happened was I thought something in my imagination (my 4D) and the physical world (the 3D) conformed because the 4D will always be in charge of the 3D.
Think of the 3D as a chief in a restaurant. The 4D is the waiter, and you are a customer in that restaurant. Let’s say you wanted to manifest a soda, so you’d say, “Waiter! I would like one soda please.” And the waiter, (The 4D) writes down in his notepad that you ordered a soda. The waiter would then go to the back and go tell the chief (The 3D) what you ordered, and then the chief would make it, and then you would get it.
That’s what the 3D and 4D are. You’d “tell the waiter what you want to order” (AKA: Think in your brain using your imagination/4D what you want to manifest) Then the “chief would cook up what you ordered and you’d get your order.” (AKA: The 3D will make what you manifested happen in your physical world and your manifestation would appear in front of your eyes.)
Hopefully now you understand what the LOA is, how to use it, and what happens when you do use it.
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What Happens When I Manifest Something and The 3D doesn’t conform?
Let me say this now: That is impossible. It is impossible for your 3D to not conform to the 4D. The 3D only will NOT conform when you ASSUME it won’t.
Your assumptions will become your reality. To change your assumptions, use your thoughts and imagination, (AKA: the 4D) and your 4D will become your 3D.
Assumptions are thoughts. Thoughts are your reality.
Read those 2 sentences again until they are memorized.
Don’t you see? Do you understand how easy it is?
So let’s say, you manifested something, imagined it (using the 4D) and it didn’t appear right infront of your eyes. Don’t panic. It’s okay. Take a breather, and tell yourself that you will get your desire. You imagined it in the 4D, and after reading this post, you’re sure that the 3D will conform because it WILL. Just persist in the fact that you WILL get your desire.
(Do you get what I’m saying here? Assume, assume, assume. Assume you will get your desire. Assume it will come quickly. Assume that it’s easy because it is! When in doubt, assume, assume, assume.)
If you don’t get your desire, it’s because you’re assuming (AKA: Thinking) that it won’t. Assume that you can and will manifest, and it will.
The 3D DOES NOT MATTER. You know why? Because, I’ll repeat,
Assumptions are thoughts. Thoughts are your reality.
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A Step By Step Tutorial:
1. Identify what you want to manifest.
2. Assume it will happen by thinking.
3. You get your desire.
You can assume things many ways. Here are my favorite ways in the form of sentences:
1. Assuming it will happen in the future. (Example: Using sentences containing “I Will.” Sentences in the future tense. “I know I will get desire one way or another.”)
2. Assuming it will happen in the present. (Example: You use sentences containing “I Am.”Sentences in the present tense. “I have my desire.”)
3. Assuming it already happened in the past. (Example: You use sentences containing “I Had.” Sentences in the past tense. This is also referred to as “Living in the End.” “I already have my desire.”)
Remember that all of these ways are ways to manifest. There is no better one than the other—use what works best for you! (I personally use all 3 ways all the time. They all work the same way and for me, not one is better then the other. They’re all great and they all work. Use what works best for you!!! Don’t let anyone tell you one works better then the other because that’s simply not true. I’ve manifested using all three and so can you!)
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Summary And Last Thoughts:
In order to manifest, you only need to figure out what you want to manifest, then think about it as an assumption, (one of the 3 ways I listed above, using a Past, Present, or Future sentence) and then just wait knowing you will get your desire.
Notice how in this post I never covered the “how” or the “when.” (The only “how” I covered was how manifestation works with the 4D and 3D, nothing beyond that.) Because you don’t need to focus on those things! Focus on manifesting, NOT how it happens or when. The only time you should be focusing on the when is when you are manifesting your desire to come quicker.
Also notice how in this post, it was a continuous cycle of…
Thoughts=Assumptions
Thoughts+Assumptions=Your Desired Reality
Anyone can manifest. And this isn’t the only way to manifest, this is one method of many. It’s easy when you assume it’s easy!
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I hope this post helped atleast someone. Have a good evening, morning, or afternoon. If you have a question or concern, feel free to drop a comment or send a DM.
The ultimate Law of Assumption song (You deserve your manifestation and that’s why you should get it!)
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Sincerely,
Your Neighborly Werido
#shifting#shifting diary#shifting script#shifting motivation#shifting community#shiftblr#shifting blog#shiftinconsciousness#reality shifting#shifters#shifting antis dni#loa blog#loassumption#loa tumblr#loablr#loa success#law of assumption#law of the universe#law of manifestation#law of creation#manifestation#manifesting#manifesation#Spotify#desired reality#scripting#4d reality#witchblr#pagan#paganism
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--> ||❝ The Creator has a.. LOVER?! ❞
SAGAU || Warnings: fluff, gender neutral reader, slight crack, reader gets called a test subject and is implied to be used as one [Dottore’s part] OOC w/ Dottore..? Idk I haven’t finished sumeru yet </3
[ The people of Teyvat find out their grace has been romantically involved with someone for a while now.. what do they think about it? ]
Character(s): DOTTORE, XIAO
-> [ DOTTORE ]
“The Doctor is the Creator’s suitor? As in… the Second of the Eleven Fatui Harbingers? Are you sure that’s him? You are? Oh.. is— Is Your Grace feeling okay? I don’t see why anyone would be willingly involved with the Fatui Harbingers. What?! No! I’m not saying that’s not okay. Your Grace can do whatever they want! Hmph..”
The people of Teyvat felt conflicted to say the least. They weren’t judging your ability to make choices! They really weren’t… they just thought that there were better choices out there for Their Grace!! Yeah, everyone knew you liked the harbingers even before you descended, but couldn’t you have chosen a less deranged harbinger? For example… uhm... none of them.
Dottore could really care less what everyone else thought of his relationship with you though. He got the full package! His lover was the All Mighty Creator, and now he has a new “test subject”! (he says it affectionately.) Dottore knows people hate him even more than before, but who’s the one with the Creator’s arms wrapped around them, head over heels? This benefits him in so many ways. Wether it be research, obtaining materials, or just being able to have something more to use against the rest of the harbingers.
No one would ever dare voice the opinions they have of him while you’re in the vicinity. They’ll listen to you talk about a “date” you had with Dottore, which was really just you and him in his lab…. and he’s using you to help with his research. Hearing this, the rest of the allogene’s eyes are twitching, their fists are clenched, they’re FURIOUS. Not at you! Never. They’re mad at Dottore. How dare he use you as a test subject?! (you volunteered) How dare he use you to try to make another god?! (you thought that sounded fun) How dare he be IN LOVE with the All Mighty Creator?! (you fell first.)
When the two of you are seen in public, the streets go QUIET. Dottore carries this eerie aura with him, everyone knows who he is. And adding to the fact he’s a harbinger, he is also now recognized as the Creator’s suitor. Everyone besides you feels the silence and the stares, including Dottore, but if his lover is happy does it really matter? <3
In conclusion, everyone hopes Dottore dies. It’s not that they don’t want to see you happy. In fact, the entirety of Teyvat is glad you’re experiencing love and joy, just not with HIM.
─ִ━━ ꯭ ───ׂ─ִ─ ͜͡✿͜͡ ─ִ──ׂ── ꯭ ━━ִ─
You spend a lot of days in Dottore’s lab. Today was one of those days.
You were conversing with one of Dottore’s younger clones. The clones, while being segments of Dottore, have their own distinct personalities. The one thing they hold in common is the love they have for you.
You love talking to the clones and giving them breaks from whatever days-long tasks Dottore gives them, but you miss the Dottore who’s the last thing you see before you fall asleep and after you wake up. You haven’t seen him since yesterday! Is this really how your boyfriend treats his lover…. who also happens to be the Creator???
And so you decide to go look for him. Who would’ve guessed he was sitting where he always was; his desk. Once you’ve spotted him, as payback for leaving you alone, you decide to sneak up on him. You try your hardest to silence your steps as much as possible in this hollow and echoey office of his.
“I can hear you, Y/N.”
“No you can’t... C’mon Dottore! Cut me some slack. I haven’t seen you since yesterday… and you didn’t even come to say good morning to me today!”
“Good morning.”
“It’s 4:00 PM, love. Take a break. It’s not like I’ll die anytime soon… can I even die..? Uhm.. that’s besides the point. You can conduct your experiments on me and do you research later. Come entertain me, please?”
“Are you asking because I have a choice?”
Your silence gives him an answer. You pull him up from his chair by grabbing his hands and pull him into a hug. You lean in closer to peck his cheek. He leans into you and grabs you by the waist to pull you closer—
“Doctor, the segments have finished—“
“Oh.”
-> [ XIAO ]
“Oh! One of the adepti? THE VIGILANT YAKSHA?! S-sorry that caught me by surprise… So the Yaksha is dating the Creator, huh. His tales have been documented for millennia’s, yet he’s rarely seen in public… I guess even someone like that can’t help but fall for Our Grace.”
So that must be why you always cooked Almond Tofu… Well, since Xiao IS the Conqueror of Demons, I can see the people of Liyue being quite happy. Jealous? Yes. But who’s even more jealous? Mondstadt. Why couldn’t it be one of the Knights of Favonious or something? But they guess you’re happy and that’s enough… (Though it could’ve been with them.)
Xiao is seen a little more often with you now that it’s confirmed you two are dating. Not too often, but if you want to go try out a restaurant in the city of Liyue, he’ll never say no. He may not speak much, but according to rumors is Liyue… “his eyes are always on you, listening to anything and everything the Creator has to say. It’s clear he’s fallen completely in love!” (Said by Chef Mao, probably.)
Being Xiao’s partner may seem awkward from an outsiders perspective, but he’s surprisingly sweet! He still won’t talk much, but he’ll reply to any questions you have, no matter how stupid or obvious they are with full genuity. Him being the Conqueror of Demons and you being the Creator, you both live busy lives…. so his eyes literally light up when you two are both able to finally see each other after a long time. <3 (he’s head over heels guys help.)
The adepti would be so PROUD. They probably already knew you and Xiao had a little something going on even before it was announced because of the way Xiao seemed slightly more happy. This lead to then being suspicious and eventually seeing him and you together… doing the most intimate thing ever…..
…. HOLDING HANDS. UNDER THE MOONLIGHT. But they kept quiet so don’t worry!
─ִ━━ ꯭ ───ׂ─ִ─ ͜͡✿͜͡ ─ִ──ׂ── ꯭ ━━ִ─
“Xiao! I found you.”
As per usual, Xiao was sitting on the roof of Wangshu Inn. Today was one of the days where both of you were busy. You had a meeting to attend, and he was doing his job as The Conqueror of Demons. It was night by the time you were able to see each other.
“You should’ve called my name, Your Grace. It would’ve been easier for me to find you.”
“Yeah but I like looking for you. I always know where you are since you’re in the same spots anyway. And besides, I like how Wangshu Inn looks at night!”
You always thought Xiao looked pretty, but he looked especially pretty under the moonlight. His face seemed to glow more than usual today. Maybe it was the warm colored light radiating from inside of Wangshu Inn, or the light reflected by the moon shining down on him. Maybe it was the fact he had missed you so much that seeing your face again brought him a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time.
“Your Grace?”
“Oh, sorry Xiao, I lost my train of thought. Let’s go eat! I’m feeling hungry… today’s meeting was waaayy too long… C’mon, I’ll buy you something!”
“No need. I’ll be okay with just accompanying Your Grace.”
“Agh, stop calling me that. Y/N? Can you say Y/N? Please Xiao?”
“… Y-Y/N..”
“See? Not too hard right? Ok let’s go eat! I’ll make you Almond Tofu how you like it.”
FINALLY DONE OOHMYGODDD sorry this took so long. Idk what I should do next so feel free to request anything… ANYWAYS THE FIRST PART OF THIS GOT ALMOST 700 NOTES??? omg stop guys I’m giggling and blushing aughshsgghh. But seriously thank you so much I’m bawling
#genshin impact#sagau#genshin xiao#sagau x reader#genshin x reader#dottore#genshin harbingers#genshin#gender neutral reader#yayyy#tunafruitt#xiao x reader#dottore x reader#genshin sagau
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Love Advice - Jake "Hangman" Seresin
Top Gun Maverick Masterlist
Summary : Jake comes back after six months of deployment and he needs your help to win the woman he loves.
Warnings : a tiny bit of angst, mutual pining, thinking there's an unrequited love, happy ending, maybe some grammatical mistakes as English is not my first language, tell me if you see some or if I missed any warnings.
Word count : 3.4k
French version
Song inspiration : How You Get The Girl (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift
Somebody knocking on your door takes your attention away from your TV show; at first, you just lower the volume down so the person doesn’t know you’re home and wait for them to leave. However, the second the knocks on the door get more insistent and you hear ‘I know you’re home’ with a Texan accent, you jump out of your couch and run to open the door to Jake. You joyfully shriek before throwing yourself into his arms. Jake laughs because of your enthusiasm, then he tenderly holds you close to him.
You haven’t seen each other in six months because of his last deployment. Of course, you called each other almost every day, it’s just not the same. You've been thick as thieves since you were five, you need to see each other often.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home today?” you ask, breaking the embrace.
“I wanted to surprise you.”
“Well, you did. I missed you so much!” you exclaim, kissing his cheek before bringing him inside. “I hope you’re staying home for a long time. Six months without seeing each other is too much!”
“I totally agree.”
As usual, when he comes back home, you spend the day together then, Jake sleeps at yours. You go downtown, eat something, even watch a movie if there’s something interesting and the next day, Jake goes to his place - he lives twenty minutes away.
As soon as the night comes, you go home, takeout food in hand. You go into your living-room and you put a random show as background noise. You keep talking about the last few months in order to catch up when you decide to bring up a topic Jake seems to avoid.
“So, you didn’t tell me anything, what’s going on with Lara?”
Jake met Lara in a bar a week before leaving. You weren’t with him that night, so you don’t know a lot about their relationship; all you know is Jake got along with her pretty well.
“Oh, huh… Well…” he stutters and avoids your gaze.
“Jake,” you say with a disapproving tone. “Don’t tell me you messed up. Not again!”
“Not really. Okay, maybe a little.”
“What did you do?”
“I may or may not have not called her since I left.”
“Are you kidding me?” you scream, hitting his shoulder. “Do you realise you’re the kind of guy we talk shit about when we’re talking with other girls? Jake, you have to stop being a dick and destroying your relationship. You’re a nice guy, but whenever it’s about love, you’re the worst of them. Every time you find an awesome girl, you just ruin everything.”
“I know and this time, I want to fix this.”
“Before we keep going, you didn’t cheat on her, did you?”
“I might suck at relationships, however, you know I have some limits and I’m quite proud to say I’ve never crossed that line.” he affirms with a grin.
“You better!”
“Anyway, at first, I didn’t know what I wanted with her but now I do. I really connected with Lara and I want her to forgive me and give me another chance, I just don’t know how to do it.”
Following his sentence, you immediately understand what he wants. He messed up and now he needs your wise advice to fix the situation. Again. You roll your eyes before straightening up.
“I’m gonna make you pay for my love advice one day, at least, I’ll become a billionaire in a month with you.”
“You’re the most stable person I know when it comes to relationships so obviously I always go to you! Besides, you’re a woman, you know what to do.”
“True.” you modestly confirm. “First thing first, meet her in a neutral environment, a café for example.”
“And I buy her flowers?”
“Do you know her favourite flowers?”
“Roses are the safe option, right?” he suggests and you’re desperate.
“Do you know any personal details about Lara, like her favourite book?” you ask and he shakes his head. “Well, just pay for whatever she orders. First, you apologise and you do it correctly, you put the focus on her and what she might have felt. The goal is not for her to comfort you because you feel bad when you’re the one who messed up. If she still hasn’t thrown her drink in your face, you’re on the right track. Then you say, in the most convincing way, you want her, not an other girl, for worse or for better. You know it’s gonna take her some time for her to trust you again but you will forever and ever. Tell her you know you broke her and you’ll put it back together because you care about her and you want to do better for her. In short, show her you want to be a better man and make sure your actions match your words quickly. And that’s how it works, that’s how you get the girl. At least, your chances will be higher.”
“You seriously think it can work?” Jake asks skeptical.
“I can’t 100% promise you but, at least, it shows you want to be the man she deserves. Either way, you have to keep me updated! And also, don’t wait too long to do it. You should even contact her right now so you can see her in the following days.”
“You’re right.”
Jake takes his phone and quickly types a message. After you approve it, he sends it and nervously waits for the response; however, being tired from the travel, Jake quickly starts to yawn so you go to sleep. Jake sleeps in the same bed as you. You’ve always done it so you’re not going to change this now, after all, between you two, it’s purely platonic.
At least, for him. The same cannot be said about you. When you were still in High School, your crush on Jake was almost embarrassing. It’s actually the only secret you’ve never told him. Officially. During prom, you confessed to Jake you wanted to be more than friends nevertheless he was so drunk he didn’t understand it and the next day; he had zero recollection of it and you were very grateful. You don’t know what you would’ve done if he had remembered. You probably would have lost your best friend and you couldn’t allow this to happen so you just repressed your crush until it eventually died.
Notwithstanding, what you don’t know and the only secret Jake has never told you is that he remembers pretty well what you told him that night. He was just so stunned that he pretended he didn’t understand it. He thought he didn’t like you that way so he said nothing to not alter your friendship; though, the backlash was pretty violent two years later when you got your first serious boyfriend, Jake was insanely jealous. At first, he just thought he was afraid to lose his best friend until he reached the dreadful conclusion: he has feelings for you and it’s too late, he missed his chance with you. As a consequence, Jake went from one fling to the other while you were going from one long-lasting relationship to the other without him understanding what you found to ‘those dudes’ like he always says. Though, these last few months, he has come to terms with the fact one of ‘those dudes’ whom you’ve been with for several years is the one for you. Jake isn’t sure he’s the one you deserve, and he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship, that’s why he wants to fix his relationship with Lara, especially because your relationship with Scott is the longest one you’ve ever had and he’s probably your future husband so Jake definitely has to stop hoping you’ll get together one day. He has to move just like you did.
The next morning, once Jake wakes up, you’ve already left for work. While he’s eating breakfast, Jake’s eyes are set on a picture of you and him hung on your wall, he has his lips pressed on your cheek while you’re trying to hide your fluster with a smile. The picture was taken on the last day of High School and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t one of his favourites. He finds you cute in this photo.
His phone ringing catches his attention. He unlocks it and discovers a text from Lara.
Message from Lara to Jake, 8:37 A.M.:
I’m willing to hear you out, but just because I want some explanations. Is tomorrow afternoon okay for you?
Jake quickly answers her and confirms the date. He should be happy, Lara is open to the discussion though, he can’t help his heart to tighten in his chest, and he stares at the picture on the wall again. He shakes his head and brings back his attention to Lara. You’re part of his romantic past, even if nothing ever happened, Lara is his future. He has to think about her, not you.
The minute you come home from work that night, Jake tells you about his date the next day. You congratulate him with a big smile, though your heart breaks a little. Jake rehearses to you what he’s going to tell Lara to make sure he won't ruin his last chance and you assure him his speech is perfect.
“White lilies, those are her favourite flowers.” Jake says point blank.
“Then offer her some. It’ll prove you care about her because you remember a small detail about her.”
“That’s why you didn’t want me to take roses?”
“Exactly. If you are lucky and it’s her favourite flower, you’re good but imagine if she hates them because she finds them cliché, you’ll ruin your chances before opening your mouth, ‘cause on top of not being original, you just prove you don’t pay attention to her. Roses are the safe option, yet it doesn’t mean it should be your choice at the slightest obstacle. You’re already taking risks by coming back after six months of radio silence so go all the way, don’t play safe with roses.”
“You’re right.”
“I know I’m right! And please, please, please, don’t buy her flowers only when you screw up. Do it when everything is good between you. Do it even when there’s nothing to celebrate. It’s those kinds of tiny details that’ll make all the difference, it proves you care about her. Of course, it goes further than flowers but you get the idea, the fact is, you can’t let a routine get in the way and the only times you break it and you give her some attention is to make up to her or believe me, it’s the breakup for sure because she’ll feel abandoned.” you specify, saying your last sentence at an incredible speed and Jake looks at you suspiciously.
“Is everything okay between you and Scott? It sounded personal at the end.”
“We’re not talking about me but you.”
“So the answer is no.” he affirms, reading you like an open book.
“We broke up five months ago.” you sigh.
“What? Why didn’t you tell me? What did he do? He didn’t cheat on you, did he?” Jake questions, protective.
“No, it’s not that. It’s just after six, almost seven years of relationship, we lost ourselves in a routine and we realised we were together out of habits not out of love. Besides, we argued more and more for useless things. It’s better like that.”
What you’re not telling Jake is that there is another reason. Scott was sure you and Jake are in love. No matter how many times you said your crush on Jake was only when you were a teenager and that Jake never loved you like this, Scott never believed you. Your friendship with Jake was the main argument between you and Scott.
“You should have told me sooner rather than pretending you were fine when we were on the phone.”
“Don’t worry, I got over it. Let’s talk about you and Lara again. You didn’t tell me a lot about her.”
“In my defence, I never thought I’d go further with her.”
Jake replies to your several questions, but he can’t help and think back to the information you just gave him. You broke up with Scott, something he didn’t think would happen. He was sure you were going to end your life with him. As opposed to your exes, Jake had to admit Scott did deserve you and it cost him a lot to say it, nonetheless he could see how Scott made you happy like he never could. Maybe this time Jake could make you happy? Jake pushed this last thought in the back of his mind. He agreed he had to leave you in the past. Jake can’t hope for a future with you when he’s about to win Lara’s heart again! He needs to stay focused.
Jake ends up leaving in the late evening to go to his place. You hug him and give him some encouragement for his date before closing the door behind him. That night, Jake struggles to fall asleep, completely lost about who he truly wants.
The next day as it is your day off and raining a lot, you stay home and clean your apartment from top to bottom. Music coming out of your phone, you wipe the floor with care when someone knocks on your door. You loudly sigh then put the mop back in the bucket and make sure it doesn’t fall before walking to the door whilst shutting down your music. Once you open, you surprisingly find Jake, soaking wet, with a bouquet of several flowers in purple tones.
“Jake? What are you doing here?”
“I remember.” he tells you as if you were supposed to get it.
“What are you talking about?”
“Prom.”
“What? Aren’t you supposed to be with Lara by now, anyway? And I thought you were gonna offer her lilies.” you question, after you understood what he meant.
“The flowers, they’re for you. I’m not playing safe, I know you love these kinds of bouquet because you can’t pick a favourite flower and your favourite colour is purple.” he says, handing you the bouquet, yet you don’t take it.
“What? Are you insane? Lara is the one you’re supposed to win over, not me!”
“That’s what I thought, too, but it wouldn’t have been fair to her. I still went to meet her and apologise for ghosting her though, she isn’t the one I want.”
“Jake, I don’t understand.”
“Can I come in?”
Without replying to him, you step aside and let him in. Jake takes his damped shoes off before walking to the kitchen entrance.
“I’m gonna get you a towel, I don’t want you to be sick. Make yourself a coffee to warm up.”
Whilst you grab a clean towel, you try to understand what’s happening. You didn’t expect to see him, especially with flowers. The second you go back to him, Jake puts his freshly poured cup down and takes the towel while handing you the bouquet once more and this time, you accept it. Without holding yourself back, you smell the flowers and tenderly look at them; you love them. Jake got it right. He’s proud of himself when he sees the soft smile on your face.
“They’re beautiful, Jake, but why?”
“Like I said, I remember. I remember what you told me during prom.” he specifies whilst drying his face.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you lie, avoiding his eyes.
“I think you do. You told me you had feelings for me.”
You stare at Jake, confused. You were convinced he had no memory of that moment. In one second, your cheeks heat and you don't know what to do with yourself.
“I pretended to not remember because I didn’t know how to react and I’m sorry.” Jake admits, putting down the towel and taking a sip of his coffee.
“Don’t apologise, you saved me from a moment that would have haunted me until I die like this moment will.”
“I shouldn’t have ignored you.” he affirms, putting down his cup on the table. “You confessed something very important to me and by ignoring you, I broke your heart and mine in the process. I didn’t know it at the time but I also had feelings for you. I realised it too late, actually when you met dickhead number 1.”
“You mean Josh?” you ask, laughing.
“That’s what I said. Anyway,” Jake resumes getting closer to you, “I should have talked to you and not leave you in the dark. Your friendship means a lot to me and that night, I didn’t act as a good friend. Even if I hadn't had feelings for you, I should’ve said something and not let you deal with your broken heart alone. I’m sorry I broke your heart that night and if it’s not too late, I want to pull it back together. I never stopped having feelings for you. I spent years ignoring my feelings and every time I wanted to confess them, you were with someone else and now, it’s the right time. I want you, not an other girl, for worse or for better.”
“What about Lara? I thought you liked her.” you ask, trying not to get your hopes up.
“She’s nice but she’ll never make me feel what I feel with you. I would have never been honest with her if I had been with her. That’s why I never got in a serious relationship actually, you were always on my mind and I didn’t want another girl there. I wanted to try with Lara because I thought I had missed my chance with you so I wanted to move on, yet when you told me you and Scott were over yesterday, I knew you’d always be in my heart. That’s why I preferred to apologise to Lara without getting into a relationship with her. I could have never committed to her because I want to do it with you. I don’t know if you still have feelings for me and if you do, you’re probably hesitant considering my history and I get it though, I mean it when I say I want to commit to you.” he insists, looking you right in the eyes. “I’m not saying I’ll be perfect right away but you can be sure I’ll do everything to be. I know it’s gonna take some time for you to trust me but I will, forever and ever. I care about you, no, I love you and I want to do better for you. For once, I wanna be the good boyfriend and more particularly the man you deserve,” Jake states, putting his hand on your cheek, “the one who will buy you flowers at any occasion, the one who won’t abandon you, the one you’ll never get stuck in a routine with, the one who will make you happy, make you feel loved and who will cherish you until his dying breath.”
At the end of his speech, you’re at a loss for words. You didn’t expect a confession of love from him and you never thought Jake was capable of saying such beautiful things or even being serious about a relationship. Not knowing what to reply, you put your free hand on Jake’s cheek and kiss him with passion. He doesn’t waste a second to kiss you back. Among all the kisses he’s shared, this one is officially his favourite, and he hopes he’ll relive it every day of his life. His heart is beating fast in his chest while he brings you closer to him. As soon as you break the kiss, you look at Jake with eyes full of love.
“I never stopped loving you, Jake.”
Jake smiles as he hears your confession. He was very nervous when he came to your place. He was afraid he’d ruin everything, and he’s relieved to know he was wrong.
“Wow, your advice works wonders,” he suddenly says with a sarcastic tone. “Well, I improved your speech a bit but I approve of it. You really should get paid for your love advice.”
“I told you that’s how it works.” you affirm as if it was obvious. “That’s how you got the girl.”
“That’s how I got my girl.”
When you hear the emphasis on the pronoun, you avoid his gaze for a second, flustered. You clear your throat before speaking again.
“You should take me to a first date then.”
“Oh, I will. Any advice as to what to do on a first date? I have to impress this girl who means a lot to me.”
You both laugh then you bring Jake close to you again before pressing your lips on him, the second kiss even better than the first one.
Top Gun Maverick Masterlist
#marie swriting in english#top gun movie#top gun 1986#top gun maverick#marie swriting with taylor swift#top gun fanfiction#top gun hangman#top gun#jake hangman seresin x reader#jake seresin x reader#jake seresin fic#jake seresin fanfiction#jake seresin#jake hangman seresin#jake hangman x reader#hangman x reader#jake seresin x you#jake seresin x y/n#jake seresin oneshot#jake seresin fluff#top gun one shot#top gun maverick one shot#Spotify
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smile!
— saiki kusuo x reader (gn, 2nd pov)
— summary: Helping out Saiki has its perks—example, he smiles for a picture with you on what would look like a date to outsiders.
— notes: this was an old fic i posted from june! edited it a little and finally remembered to reup here :-)
— things: hmmmm i guess the reader's relationship with saiki is kind of romantic? but the overall dialogue and stuff is platonic :-)
— masterlist | request form
When Saiki couldn’t go to Toritsuka for help, he’d approach you.
You weren’t explicitly aware of his powers, but you’ve had your suspicions. Though, it was something you never brought up in conversation with Saiki.
Whenever you do help Saiki out, you assure him that he isn’t in debt to you. This results in Saiki going out of his way to silently pay you back. He knows your words are true, but he wasn’t okay with a good deed going unrewarded.
Additionally, you were okay with doing just about anything. Help him stay away from the sports festival? Sure, you hated it too. Join the Occult club so there’s a not-so-annoying familiar face? Why not? The club seemed like it wouldn’t be too much work.
Talk to a guy from another class for Saiki? Okay.
You weren’t the best at starting a conversation, and neither was Satou Hiroshi. Why Saiki wants to know his interests, you didn’t bother asking. It wasn’t your business.
Opening a conversation with Satou wasn’t hard at all—you figured you could just lie on the spot. “Hi, Satou. Truth be told, I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while. I want to make friends from every section, and I thought I’d talk to you.”
Satou looks up at you, surprised. “Me? But, I’m not as interesting as the other guys here... Like Toritsuka–”
You abruptly shake your head. “I’ve interacted enough with him. I’m good. But, you... You just have a calming presence, you know? Puts people at ease.”
Saiki, from afar, listens in on your conversation. You had suggested to be on call with him as you made conversation with Satou.
Listening in on your conversation with Satou was something Saiki could do without the help of technology, but you didn’t know that, so Saiki agreed. This made you one of the really few people in Saiki’s phone contacts.
You pull an empty chair near Satou and sit on it. “So, tell me, what do you like? Any favorite bands, drinks, stuff like that?”
Satou happily answers you. “One OK Rock! I love their songs! Ah, I drink a lot of peach tea, too.”
You smile at Satou. “Oh, that’s nice. Do you have any hobbies?”
��I like to read.”
You nod. Average hobby. I like to read too. Everyone likes reading to a certain degree. You then ask him, “Oh? What kind of stuff do you read?”
Satou hums. “Well, I read all kinds of books. I like to pick up a copy of Weekly Jump on Fridays; kind of a reward for getting through the week.”
“That’s so interesting...! Would you want to walk home with me later? That way, we could talk more.” You put your hand in your pocket, checking to see if your phone was still there. You proceed to stand up from the chair and put it back in its place.
Satou awkwardly laughs in response. “I’m sorry, but I have a few errands to do after school, I wouldn’t want to drag you around with me. Maybe some other time.”
You laugh back. “It’s alright. There’s no need for you to apologize! I’ll be on my way now. Good luck with class, Satou.”
“Thank you, you too.” Satou waves before walking away.
You take out your phone and hold it close to your ear. “So? Is that all?”
Saiki hums. “Yes. Thank you.”
“How are you going to get this week’s Jump? We aren’t allowed to leave schoolgrounds until classes are over.”
Saiki answers you, “I have my ways.”
You furrow your brows. “Alright... Why do you want to hang out with him, anyway? No offense, but he’s kind of... bland.”
“That’s exactly why I want to talk to him. Also, we can stop the call. I can see you walking towards me.”
You sigh and end the call, continuing your conversation with Saiki face-to-face. “Alright... And you’re sure he’ll talk to you?”
Saiki shrugs.
You reply flatly, “That’s reassuring. I’ll be at Café Mami if things go well, or not. The usual booth. I’ll just text you.”
I could use clairvoyance to find you, but that works.
...
You enter Café Mami, alone for the time being, and look for an empty booth. You spot one and head straight to it, setting your bag down. You text Saiki.
You:
Do you want coffee jelly?
Saiki:
👍🏼
You:
How’s it going with Satou?
Saiki:
I’m waiting for him by the gate. I have a copy of this week’s Jump with me, and I bought peach tea from the cafeteria.
You:
Okay. This means you’ll be going to Café Mami though, right?
Saiki:
I’m just going for the coffee jelly.
You smile at his message before closing your phone. Keep telling yourself that, Saiki.
The manager approaches you and takes your order; you order something for yourself, and two cups of coffee jelly for Saiki. One for him to eat here, and...
“The other coffee jelly is to-go, thank you.”
You open your phone again and search up the band Satou mentiond, One OK Rock. You rummage your bag for your earphones, but to your dismay, you couldn’t find it.
You quietly sigh to yourself. I guess... I’ll listen with my phone really close to my ear. God, I hope no one hears.
You choose a song and pleasantly listen to it. This actually isn’t so bad. Might add this to my playlist– the song stops. You check the notification.
Saiki:
Hello. I am on my way there.
You:
Take care. ♡
You see Saiki enter Café Mami, and your eyes dart towards the earphones he’s wearing. You point at it. “Those are mine! Where did you get those?”
Saiki sits down as he answers you, “Your bag.”
“You didn’t ask...!”
The manager approaches you two. “Here’s your order. The coffee jelly to-go will be served shortly.”
Saiki looks at you, confused about that last sentence.
“Ah, I ordered a second one for you to enjoy at home.”
Saiki’s eyes sparkle at your words.
You bring your order closer to you. “So, how did things go with Satou?”
Saiki slumps his shoulders and dejectedly hands you back your earphones. “I’ll be taking both coffee jellies to-go, thanks.”
Your voice was riddled with panic, “Huh–?! No, don’t go! Is it that bad?”
“He didn’t talk to me.”
You laugh. “That’s it? Did you even try to talk to him? You’re not the most chatty person I know.”
Saiki nods. “I had everything he liked; Weekly Jump, peach tea, and I was listening to One OK Rock. I even smiled at him.”
You hold back your laughter, you didn’t want Saiki to feel worse than he already did. “Maybe... Maybe he didn’t talk to you because he knew you stole my earphones.”
Irritated, Saiki replies, “That is totally unrelated”
You shrug. “Yeah.” You decide to tease him, “Maybe your smile was weird. Off-putting. I mean, you don’t smile a lot.”
Saiki shakes his head. “My smile wasn’t weird.”
“I’ll have to see for myself.”
“No.”
“You’re no fun.”
Saiki doesn’t reply to your comment, opting to finally eat the coffee jelly in front of him.
“Here’s the coffee jelly to-go. Your order’s complete. Thank you!”
You smile at the waiter and gently push the paper bag with the coffee jelly inside towards Saiki.
Hm... Maybe if he smiled at Satou like that, then they’d be hanging out like this. Ah, then I wouldn’t be able to see Saiki so happy. Perhaps I’ll be selfish, just this once.
Saiki thought to himself as he ate the coffee jelly. For someone who’s had their suspicions about my powers, you sure think rather shamelessly. You’ve done a lot for me, so I’ll let you have this.
Saiki finishes his coffee jelly. “Take out your phone.”
You do as told, although clueless to Saiki’s intentions. “Okay...?”
“I’ll show you the smile I gave to Satou.”
You move over in your seat so Saiki could sit beside you. He takes the hint and walks over to you.
You two smile and you snap a picture, the smile on your face still there as you examine it. Saiki returns to his seat.
You two were smiling, but you were the only one looking at the camera. You look up from your phone, then at Saiki. “Why were you looking at me?”
He’d then respond, “I wasn’t ready.” You looked happy.
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The great birthday mess up : Damian Wayne x Reader
Request: Yes! Reader planning a surprise party for Dami and him thining she's going to break up with him so he does it first.
Thank you anon! ;) made some changes to the requests hope you'll like it either way :)
***
„I don’t understand…” the words coming out of Damian’s mouth was the perfect example that hearing and getting were two completely different things.
“What’s there to not understand Y/N?. I’m breaking up with you. Sounds pretty simple even for your little brain.” He shrugged and turned to the window in their shared apartment so she wouldn’t see the strain on his face and clenched fists.
“But-“
“Please don’t go all whiny on me now. Just take my decision with dignity.
“I don’t understand—” she said again, as if that was the only sentence she could say in shock coursing in every cell in her body.
“Of course you don’t.” the tone he was giving her was ruthless, unlike the rapid beat of his heart calling her name with all the emotional power it could gather.
“Don’t you love me anymore?” as pathetic as it was, she almost downgraded herself to begging for an explanation with that sentence
“I’m just breaking up with you! Now will you leave me alone? I really do not want to see your face anymore.”
Well that was true, cause seeing her sad face was making his resolve crumble.
And It hurt. It hurt to tell her all those mean things.
Especially because Damian did not even wantto act like an asshole.
He did love her like a fool, he used to laugh at. If anything, he could just fall at her feet (as long as no one saw) and beg to forgive him.
But he couldn’t.
He couldn’t because she was the one who stopped loving him first.
***
Three weeks ago, “command center” at Wayne Manor.
“Ok, people, listen up! We’re on a mission of-“
“Is she for real?” Tim whispered turning to Dick who was holding back a laugh. If the boys knew that Y/N would take planning Damian’s 24th birthday in such a serious manner, almost putting on a war paint, one of them would bring a fancy camera to memorize it.
Instead it was only Jason taking photo after photo of the girl-in-command in her makeshift uniform and with indicator in hand.
“Get it off my face Todd!” she cried out trying to shove him off, but failing at dealing with the brick Jason was.
“Not a chance. You look ridiculous. And all that for the demon’s spawn? My god! He doesn’t deserve you.”
“Careful or I’ll think you’re telling me a compliment.”
“Compliment? No, no. It’s merely an observation of your poor choice in men. Both your boyfriend and those gathered here…”
“HEY!” Dick reacted almost immediately. No way he was going to let anyone, even his adoptive brother shit-talk him “I beg your pardon! I believe Y/N has an exquisite taste in men!”
“Just because you are here?” Jason mocked, giving Dick a smirk.
“Oh-my-god….” Y/N rolled her eyes throwing hands in the air “Could you please stop that…? I got a whole presentation about ideas for the party and –”
“A presentation?” While Dick and Jason did not give the girl any attention, at the mention of possible slides Tim became awfully animated. “What kind of slides? How many?”
“Oh-my-god…” She muttered again, this time covering face with hands gathering herself “God give me patience for those man-children.” One deep inhale and exhale on her part and she was ready to proceed. “SHUT UP!!” she yelled at the top of her lungs “SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!”
None of the men has ever seen her like that. Reddened on the face with fury in eyes and clenched fists. Clearly just a thought of Damian was making her spin out of control.
“Y/N--?”
“I’m about to tell you how it’s going to go from now on.” She hissed with an unobjectionable tone. “First, you’re going to sit on your pretty asses.” her gaze travelled to Dick knowing the attention in this particular moment will make him listen “Second, you’re going to stop throwing veiled insults.”
“But-“ Jason tried to chime in and object.
“I don’t fucking care if your inner Chandler Bing is coming to voice, you shut it or I will.”
“I’m not scared of you Y/N. You are just a –”
In a blink of an eye she was next to him, with one finger on his neck.
“You got about 100 vascular plexus in your body and so it happens I know how to put pressure on all of them.” She hissed before pulling back and taking on an innocent look “now, will you keep quiet, Jason?”
“I’m still not scared…” he muttered leaning on the doorframe with a frown and pout of a kicked puppy.
“Thank you very much. As for the plan, thirdly, you’ll stop asking me about my PowerPoint thing and actually watch it.”
“I’ve been dying to watch it the whole time!”
“ Shut up Tim!” came from three pair of mouths.
“Hey! Why am I being the only one yelled at by everyone? It’s harassment! Not fair!”
Y/N exhaled deeply, making a mental note to herself to never get those boys in men bodies in one room ever again and started explaining the details of her surprise party. Clearly, even despite knowing Damian’s family for a while she did not expect it would be this hard to get boys to cooperate.
However, per aspera ad astra, she managed to present her idea of a gift, the attractions and all the surprise party.
Obliging the boys under the pain of sudden and unexpected death, or at least mutilation, to keep their mouths shut. And since she was the girlfriend of a teenage assassin – this time no one dared to say a word.
***
Obviously the surprise party included working on it undercover. Therefore Y/N was spending more time with Jason, Dick and Tim to the detriment of her hours with Damian. Sneaking around. Dismissing or getting off lightly of answering his questions.
And he got suspicious, it was Damian Wayne Al-Ghul after all.
The young boy, spend hours and days fighting his natural urge to follow her when she was walking out the apartment with no explanation. Tie her to the chair, light the lamp in her face and force the information out of her.
But she was his girlfriend, not a villain.
So, getting too much into his head he came out to one plausible explanation – she was slowly letting him down. Not cutting the tie right away, because that was not who she was, but discouraging him.
“You’re going out again?” he asked, capably hiding the disappointment seeing her putting on shoes and jacket. Quickly he put the bouquet of flowers he bought for her behind his back, almost crushing the innocent buds, while simultaneously wondering if calling off reservation at her fav restaurant for the fourth time this month would get him kicked out of the VIP list. “I thought we could have a night out and—“
“Sorry, babe.” She smiled apologetically pecking his lips, grabbing the bag and already one foot out the door. “I gotta go do this thing that I told you about!”
“What thing---”
“Don’t wait for me, I’ll be back late. See you around buddy!”
Buddy?!
Did she just--? Holy fucking shit. Now Damian was sure, she stopped loving him.
And since he couldn’t watch her walk out his life like that, it was him, who was going to walk out of hers.
***
She run.
She run as fast as she could, hoping that if by some miracle she got into Flash’s speed the last fifteen minutes conversation with Damian would just turn out to be a dream. Or maybe she’ll find herself back in time, making sure it never happened in the first place.
What did she ever do to him to be treated like that?
Working her ass off to prepare a party? Using all her abilities to get people to help? Miraculously finding Damian’s friends from the past and even getting Jon to attend?
Fuck this shit! Fuck the life!
And out of all day’s in year he choose his own birthday to break up with her!
Fucking piece of shit, demon’s spawn, undeserving of a single second of the last 6 years she gave him.
Jason was fucking right as tragic as it sounded.
She burst into the Wayne Manor, where the boys were hanging the last decorations and immediately started ripping the garlands off and throwing tableware off the table.
“Y/N!!” Dick jumped off the ladder and rushed her direction, but it was Jason who reached her first. Almost tackling her to the floor, fighting against the rage of nails, teeth and screams coming out of her mouth.
“Stop it!”
“LET FUCKING GO OFF ME! THIS PARTY AIN;T HAPPENING UNLESS IT’S OVER MY DEAD BODY!”
“Better be careful with those words, cause in this family you get more than one chance at life.” Jason chuckled
“LET FUCKING GO!” she was struggling against his iron grip while Dick and Tim kneeled next to them
“No.” Jason responded calmly. “No, I’m not letting go off you.”
“None of us do, Y/N.” Tim added, moving a little bit closer, careful to not get a shoe in his face or something like that.
“What happened?” Dick asked calmly “come on, it can’t be that bad…”
“He broke up with me…” she sobbed. Not angry or furious anymore, but fully immersing in sadness. “Damian broke up with me…”
“HE WHAT?!” Dick yelled almost ready to start ripping off the decorations himself, successfully held back by Tim slapping him in the back of his head.
“She just told you. Can’t you see how shaken she is. And your making her say it again just for the sake of it? Get yourself together, Dick.”
“Sorry…”
“I don’t know what happened! I tried to talk and—”
“Talking to Damian about feelings, huh! Great idea Y/N.”
“GRAYSON!” Tim yelled slapping him again.
“Sorry…”
“I hate to break it to you guys, but it seems like the man of the day has just arrived.” Tim moved to the window where he saw the reflection of the car lights.
“WHAT!?”
“Don’t yell at me! Bruce brought him! It was your plan Y/N!!”
“Oh so one time Bruce could be late he’s actually on time?!”
“Again-stop yelling at me!”
“He cannot see me here! Not like this! Not crying cause he’s going to think that I –“
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAMIAN!
“—care….”
The ending of the sentence was not supposed to escape her mouth, but not caring about her intentions it did. Maybe it was the shock of Bruce entering Wayne Manor with his youngest son, almost convinced the surprise party was already prepared and they could celebrate.
Instead the two were met with four people, caught like deer in the headlights, crying y/n, Jason on the floor holding her for comfort, enraged Dick and a little scared Tim without a plan.
As far away from their usual selves as possible.
“Are we too early or—” Bruce started, but before he could finish the sentence, the nearby ladder started to totter, hooking over the poorly hanged b-day banner and –
“NO!!” Dick yelled and rushed towards it, but tripping over Jason’s leg, fighting desperately to gain back balance and stepping on Y/N’s hand in the process. She yelled and it scared Tim who took a step back, crashing into Dick. Seeing all that Jason rushed to his feet trying to catch the material that was already falling down, dangerously close to the table and the candlestick. In the commotion no one noticed Alfred the cat, who obliviously entered the room, only to almost be flattened.
As the poor animal rushed to Y/N’s side, making her reach arms to give cat some resemblance of shelter, Dick finally managed to grab the banner.
“I got it! YES! Once more I am the one to save the day and--- AH!” he slipped on the floor cause clearly Alfred the cat left a remnants of his fear there, sliding all the way up to the table.
“NO!” Y/N yelled trying to save any of the dish that was already flying to her face.
“NO!” Jason cried out trying to snatch the decoration, getting tangled in it.
“NO!” Tim shrieked as the candled set the tablecloth on fire, that quickly spread to the leg of his trousers. And as the stimuli activated already downloaded plan in his brain, he reached for the extinguisher, profusely spraying everything (and everyone) with white powder.
Disaster.
Y/N, Dick, Jason and Tim were now all on the floor. Dirty, injured and/or humiliated, turned into giant, living, walking snowmen all on Bruce and Damian’s eyes.
“Not again….” Bruce whined.
“Happy birthday Damian!”
“SHUT UP GRAYSON!” the rest of three organizers yelled getting off the floor feeling worse than ever.
“What is all this?” Damian asked with a slight frown. “Or rather… what was all of this.”
“This is your—” Dick started
“AHHHHH!”
“Y/N, we know you are frustrated but please try to calm down—”
“This was supposed to be your stupid birthday party you idiot!” she yelled stumping towards Damian “Hear me?” he poke a finger into his chest. “Your. Stupid. Birthday. Party.”
“My- my what?” Damian stuttered grabbing her wrist only now realizing what day it was. Honestly after the morning break up with Y/N he couldn’t care less about the clock or calendar.
“Your—”
“Wait, wait. Hold back. Is this why you were acting so suspicious?”
“sus-suspicious? Is that what you thought?” her eyes grew wide once more and the steam to hit him blew off instantly
“You were just planning and preparing a party?” Damian asked realizing how much of an idiot he was.
“Yes”!
“So you didn’t stop loving me?” the hint of hope showed up in his eyes
“So you did not stop loving me?” Y/N repeated.
“How could I ever—”
She never gave him a chance to finish that sentence pressing her lips to his, not caring who was watching. And if anyone dared to tease, Damian’s katana would be used for something. And the knowledge of locations of nerve plexuses in the human body.
“Um….” Tim muttered feeling a little awkward in the situation. “Should we--?”
“Mhm. We should.” Dick agreed and noiselessly, like silently as befits a vigilante they fled the room.
***
Meanwhile, Damian and Y/n were sitting on the window sill amongst the mess of a b-day party.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out the way I planned—” she sighed.
“You kidding? It was the best thing ever.”
“Because you got the gift in clearing the misunderstanding between us?” she smiled and interlaced their fingers.
“no! because of watching my brothers making fools out of themselves.”
“Damian!” she patted his head.
“OUCH! Ok, fine! Fine! It was because I got you back!”
“This was forced, such confession doesn’t count!” she feigned offence.
“Well technically, we never really broke up, so I couldn’t get you back.”
“Well, technically-“ she tried to find a smart way of the situation, but he cut her off.
“Well, non-technically, you got cake in your hair. And on your face And in your lips. And I haven’t even tried that treat. So how about we stop talking so I could get a chance at it?”
He liked the cake.
A lot.
@keidylovestacos @nocturnal-onlooker - I'm taking the liberty of tagging you guys :)
#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne x you#damian wayne x y/n#damian wayne x female reader#robin x reader#robin x y/n
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Bad: I don't think we've reached an ending, but we've reached an end for some things. [...] There are no permanent endings, Chat. There are no permanent goodbyes. Only goodbyes for now. Only goodbyes for now, ok?
Bad talks a little bit to his chat about the Egg admins leaving, and the future.
[ Transcript ↓ ]
—
Bad: All right, Chat. I need to have a serious talk with you for a little bit. Here Pepito, I'm gonna keep riding! Sorry Pepito, I’ll keep riding. I'm gonna have a serious talk with the Chat since we got 12 minutes to kill.
But yes, Chat. Yes, some of the… Eggies are leaving, which I know is a really sad thing to see following such a fun and happy day of Murder Mystery, which was really fun. And I know– as far as I know right now, just, I'm aware that I was– I'm aware that Pepito— er, not- sorry, Pepito is behind me, see Pepito? He's right there.
As far as I know, Chat, right now I'm aware of Richas left, or will be leaving, Lullah will be leaving, and I believe Chayanne will be leaving. And… it's really heartbreaking. And it's hard to talk about, obviously, ‘cuz we made so many memories with them over the past year. So… I think, I don't know. Obviously like, there's things I wanna say, things I will say, things I won't say, you know… And I just… I dunno. Right now just gonna… filling you guys in. But uh, yeah, they will no longer be around. So… Yeah, it’s very sad, I’m very sad. But I think… I don't think– or at least I'd say I hope that it's not the end of any particular adventures for them going forward.
And I don't know, we'll see what the future holds for any particular thing. You feel me? Just like– just enjoy the memories today. Relish in the sadness chat. Embrace the sadness for a bit, and understand that like, I think tomorrow will be better, and just give the love and appreciation to the amazing people— give the love and appreciation, Chat, to the amazing people of the project who worked so hard and put their heart and soul into everything they did. All of the Eggy actors, all the builders, all the people who worked on everything. Each one of them. I think each one of the Eggs really put themselves into their characters.
Obviously, in particular, I was particularly close to Dapper, Pomme, and Richas, and I'm gonna miss them the most, obviously, Chat. I don't know personally, I don't know what my– I can't speak necessarily on what my future holds because… you know, in regards to anything ‘cuz I'm just kinda going through the emotions right now and just kind of feeling the emotions, you know?
[Groans] I dunno, Chat. I’m just feelin’ it, and sometimes it’s hard to put things into words. You know? When you’re feeling stuff. So… It's hard to play, uh… it's hard to play Minecraft with, um, with people for so long, Chat. You know, to spend so much time with people. And you guys were here for the ride, you were here for the journey. Don't be sad when a particular ride happens, Chat. Be happy you were able to ride it to begin with. Ok?
I think– I feel– I think personally, Chat, I feel very blessed to have been able to experience the– and do this stuff I've been able to, you know?
[Long silence]
Ah, we're almost there, we're almost there, Chat.
[Sighs, then reads a chat message] “Thank you for bringing us on this journey with you” I don't think—
One: I don't think the journey is over completely, right? I can't say with certainty Chat, what the future holds, right? And I don't know– I don't know what the future holds, Chat. I don't think– I don't think we've reached an ending, but we have– we’ve reached the end for some things, yes. And as for what it means– what I mean by “an ending,” I dunno. We'll see what happens, you know? I think the chapter as far as like— obviously, like… you know, when you graduate school for example, right? It is an ending of sorts. It's an ending of THAT experience, right? The experience that you had with those particular people in that particular place. It's not an ending to those people, or your interactions with those people. You feel me?
[Sighs] There's other things I want to say Chat, but… I’m doin’ my best to just keep myself reigned in a little bit. Guess I'm feeling a little- a lil’ emotional. Trying to reign in those emotions, you know? One day at a time. But make sure you're following, and stick around, because I have a feeling we'll have more fun stuff that you guys will not want to miss. Trust me. Trust me Chat, every day is gonna be an adventure.
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PAY THE PRICE — 17. i DO have a girlfriend
(wc: 2.075 sozz yall)
they say fuck around and find out for a reason. haechan was never one to take the saying too serious, though he wishes he did. he’s sure he wouldn’t be in this predicament if he hadn’t taken those words so lightly.
he wasn’t sure whether to blame himself, or you at this moment.
“i know you’re there, haechan.” haechan threw his head back with a groan. gripping onto the door handle, he slowly opened it, letting a sliver of his body show through the crack.
“what do you want.” haechan asked, already growing impatient. if she had noticed the tone, she didn’t comment on it, instead greeting him with a warm smile. “it’s been a while.” she answered back.
“for a reason.” haechan answered back and the urge to close the door was starting to overtake him. alas, he still kept it slightly open, wanting to know why she had sought after him after a month of not talking.
“i missed you..” haechan couldn’t help the deep sigh that escaped past his lips. he opened the door further, still not fully open, but enough for the rest of his body and face to show. “listen, cut this whole flattering stuff. why are you here, how did you even find my place?” haechan questioned.
her mouth opened and closed for a while, trying to come up with an answer. “well someone told me you lived here- that’s not even the point, i wanna talk to you. wanna talk about us.” she motioned her hand back and forth in the space between them and once again, it took everything in haechan to not throw the door close in her face.
“well i’m weirded out right now. and i don’t know what you mean with talking about ‘us’, because there is no us. we haven’t talked in a month, please move on.” haechan didn’t even attempt to sugarcoat his words, wanting her to understand the seriousness of the things he said and take the hint.
“can we just not try it again? i swear we got along so well, why don’t you want to try again? lets… just give me a chance.” the girl in front of him continued to plead. the sheer desperation laced in her words made haechan close his eyes for a moment, wondering how things even got this far.
it had been around 10 minutes since he opened his door, and he was surprised himself that he didn’t close it yet.
there is a reason why haechan doesn’t talk to the same girl for more than a week, and she was an example of why that was the case. he sighed. “i’m sorry, but i’ll pass.”
“that’s not a good reason!” she rebutted almost instantly and haechan took a step back from surprise. she followed his steps, stepping forward herself, almost entering his apartment. “woah now, step back, and what do the mean with that?” haechan hovered his hands over her shoulder, encouraging her to take steps back, which turned out to be ineffective as she didn’t budge one bit.
“at least give me a reason that has more meaning to it! you can’t just lead me on and expect me to be okay with you breaking what we had.” she whined, and haechan felt dumbfounded.
“woah now, i did not lead you on. if anything, it’s you who put your expectations too high. i’m pretty sure i had told you no several when you asked me to be your boyfriend like, three days into knowing each other.” haechan shot back with a frown, taking a step forward himself.
she took a step back with a small gulp following. haechan’s deep frown remained as he continued. “and if it makes you leave me alone, then i’ll have you know that i already have a girlfriend now. is that good enough of a reason?”
haechan was sure the comment would’ve been enough for her to turn around and walk off, he was even getting ready to shut the door close.
“i don’t believe you.” she simply responded and haechan’s jaw hung low as the words left her mouth. “i don’t believe you, you said yourself that you have a hard time with commitment before, so all of a sudden you just have a new girlfriend?”
haechan felt like a ticking time bomb that was ready to explode any second with the way his patience was running out. he took a deep breath in and closed his eyes again. “well, you better believe it.” haechan calmly answered back.
he opted to not comment on the mention of his lack of commitment as he found it rather.. ironic, that she was asking for the same thing she was ridiculing him for.
“okay, then who is it?” she questioned him with much doubt. haechan, realising that the conversation wasn’t ending any time soon, took a step out of his apartment before closing the door behind him. leaving the two of them in the hall.
just the two of them, until the door next to his opened and out of it came you. turning around, you stopped in your tracks once you took in the scene, surprise evident on your face as you looked back and forth between haechan and the girl you had seen on the ground floor.
haechan’s own eyes locked with you, an impulsive thought immediately taking over his mind. technically, you did owe him an apology for doxxing him. and he did promise to drag you into it. those were all the reasonings haechan needed before he pointed his thumb your way without hesitation.
“she is.”
haechan shuffled towards your side within seconds, slinging his arm around your shoulder before pressing you into his side. he knew not to look at you for the time being, he was sure if the two of you made eye contact, you’d ruin his cover up.
which to his dismay, you still did regardless. “what are you talking about- ow!” haechan gave you a little pinch on the side of your shoulder, rubbing it soothingly after before pulling you closer once a yelp came from you. “yeah, this is her. my girlfriend.”
the way you slowly turned your body to face him almost made haechan wince. he could only imagine the nasty glare you were sending him, or the look of confusion on your face- point is, he didn’t want to look at you.
the girl in front of haechan eyed both him and you who was tightly held into his side with an unconvinced look. “that’s literally the girl who gave me your address.” she scoffed in disbelief, and haechan panicked for a moment, he had totally forgotten about that.
“i think you got the wrong person, (—) has been in her room the whole time, right?”
this time, haechan mustered up the courage to turn your way. “right?” he pressed. the attention was back on you and you remained speechless. there was a hidden plea painted on haechan’s face, as if he was begging you to just play along. you turned your head back to look at the girl in front of you, her own face contorted into irritation.
you weren’t sure what you just got caught up in, but meekly nodded your head regardless.
“well, i still don’t believe it.”
haechan couldn’t even count how many exasperated groans he let out by now. “that’s your issue, just leave me alone from now on since i’m clearly in a committed relationship.” he retorted. unbeknownst to each other, the words leaving haechan’s mouth made both his and your guts churn.
it took a few more seconds, but with a single last scoff, she had turned around and marched off. it left you and haechan all by yourself. the silence that followed was painful and haechan tried everything in him to not move an inch, scared it would trigger you.
“you fucker!” you pushed him away, reaching up to rub the spot where he had previously pinched you. what did he think, of course you wouldn’t let him get away with this.
“listen..” haechan started. “no, what the fuck was that about that! why are you going around calling me your girlfriend to others?!” you freaked out. you reached over to haechan, trying to grasp his neck in hopes of inflicting pain but he beat you to it, taking ahold of your wrists and keeping them by his side in defence.
“i’m not going around saying it to others, it was just her.” haechan defended himself, his grip on your wrist still tight. you managed to wiggle out of it before giving him a push. “doesn’t matter, why are you using me.” haechan could sense the hostility from you and quickly reached for your wrists again, making sure no attempts at harming him would follow.
“i had no other choice, okay? she wouldn’t leave me alone and didn’t accept a normal rejection. just know that this was the only solution there was, and clearly it worked!” haechan protested. he could feel the way you clenched your fist in his hand. if that didn’t indicate how pissed you were, the way you gritted your teeth at him did.
“so you used me!” you yanked your wrists out of haechan’s hold, turning around to walk over to the wall next to your door and placing your head against it in dread. “i wouldn’t call it using you.. matter of fact i told you i would drag you into this, not so funny now huh?”
you didn’t even realise haechan had walked towards you until you turned around. “stop acting like its the end of the world, its not like we’ll have to pretend to be a couple.” haechan tried to reassure. “though, i don’t get what’s wrong about being known as my girlfriend, what’s so bad about dating me?” haechan asked, somewhat amused by your reaction.
the proximity between you two was surprisingly close and you wondered why he got so near. you backed yourself more into the wall to get more space. “i could give you a whole list.” your words didn’t come out as confident as you wanted them to and it caught both you and haechan off guard.
he chuckled, a hum following right after. “go ahead, i’m all ears.” he taunted, and your mind blanked for a moment. you swore you could come up with more reasons than you were able to list, but something about the way haechan was staring you down, eyes not flickering away even if yours did, broke the train of thoughts in your head.
“well.. you know, you’re haechan, that’s one. and.. you’re annoying too so that’s that:” this was stupidly embarrassing, and you knew haechan thought the same as a grin found its way to his face. “hm? is that all?” he provoked, and before you could react, both his hands latched onto your wrists and pulled you away from the wall, a lot closer to him.
“i’d almost think you wanted this, is that true (—)?” you’re sure your eyes had popped out of your sockets, and your heart rate spiked for a moment. even your hands were starting to feel clammy. “what are you talking about?” it seemed like none of your words were willingly to come out confidently like you wanted.
you’re glad that haechan bursted out laughing and let go off you, because you’re convinced that if you stayed in that position for a little longer, you would’ve considered his theory. “you should’ve seen your face just now! i didn’t even know people could be that shocked, kinda cute.” haechan laughed as he walked over to his apartment door.
you stood there frozen in your spot, trying to process what just happened. “oh, and (—).” he called out to you one last time, his back turned to you. “next time someone asks for me that isn’t renjun or yangyang, just say i’m not home.” there was a hint of teasing behind his words and you were convinced there was a motive behind them other than the clear instructions.
“you can do that for me, right babe?” of course, he just wanted to provoke you. haechan thought he was hilarious as he entered his apartment and closed the door, leaving you all alone. you groaned, doing the only thing you could come up with that felt equally provoking.
you kicked his door before going back into your apartment, the groceries you were planning on buying totally forgotten.
previous — master list — next
notes ; the guilt i feel whenever i make a written chapter because it defeats the purpose of an smau ughhh anyways it’s gonna get fun from here i think and hopefully more smau-ish
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What do the dorm leaders + a few more students do when you leave them without saying goodbye / you go missing? (Series: Part 2)
──────⊱⁜⊰──────
Genre: Fluff/ Angst
Pairing: Leona x Gn Reader
A/n: Ooh It took me a while to create an update of this, I’m still in my second semester hell but I got a bit of time! So, I decided to write something for our dearest Lion, also I wanted to note that I’ll be doing this based on the book chapters, for example, Riddle First, Leona Second, Azul Third, and so on… I hope you like this part! I loved writing every part of it.
Credits: The design was made by me in Canva and the art that was used is all from the Official Twisted Wonderland Cards.
Warning: Cussing, OOC Crowley (lmao), smitten Leona, slight blood mention Masterlist Part one (Riddle x Gn Reader)
──────⊱⁜⊰────── Sypnosis: You went off already, actually, they didn’t even know where you were right now, Grimm was worried about you, where have you gone? You just vanished into the mirror that you were talking to every midnight, he knew that he should have listened to his gut feeling when he realized that you were warning him about your sudden disappearance. The moment he went dashing out of Ramshackle, paws cold from the snow that he stepped on and it was really bad that when he needed Hornton he wasn’t there. Savanaclaw:
Leona: He was annoyed when Grim started screaming outside of his dorm in the middle of the night causing all beastmen to wake up due to his ruckus, but his annoyance vanished when he realized what the furball was saying. You were gone, while he looked indifferent outside, telling Grim to calm the fuck down because he can easily hear him without him screaming in his ears, he was a bit worried. (Just a bit)
“Oi, can you tone down your screaming?” he grabbed Grim by the collar as the kitty sobbed, “Calm down, we’ll help” He sighed, causing Ruggie to stare at him surprised, “What do you mean we?” Leona scoffed before he threw Grim at him.
“This furball will just keep on screaming if we leave him” He sighed, scratching the back of his neck. Ruggie huffed “Well, it’s surprising for you to immediately agree to help though” he whispered to himself, Leona could clearly hear him, but he ignored what the other said. It was rare for you to leave Grim all alone, you two were practically attached to the hip, so you vanishing out of nowhere was odd, did you finally get back to your homeland? You didn’t talk about it, but he can see how you look at others when they’re with their families and he knows that look. It was a look he had when he was younger, when Farena was the golden child, and he was the black sheep.
He wanted that kind of familial love from his parents before, but they never gave it to him. You probably missed your family in your original world, he understands the feeling, but he can’t help but feel a bitter ache in his heart. Did he and the others not make you feel at home here? Sure, they overblotted and probably could have killed an herbivore like you, but he’s a changed man, surely you didn’t leave because you got sick of him or the others, right?
Of course, he went to interrogate Grim, asking him various questions, and after a few hours of barking orders to his fellow beastmen, he went to Crowley personally to ask, he was running out of options, and he was starting to feel that his theory that you went home was right. The last time Grim saw you was you got sucked in the mirror that was inside your bedroom. He tried to check on that mirror too, he didn’t feel any type of magic in it, it was just an ordinary mirror. You’d know he’s already at the edge of his seat trying to find you when he asked Crowley out of all people for help, denying the feeling in his gut that you were truly wiped out of this world.
“You’re saying that the prefect vanished?” Crowley put his hand on his chin, he was a bit annoyed about how calm Crowley was, and he crossed his arms glaring at the guy. “Did you send them home?” He questioned, getting straight to the point, which made Crowley shake his head “No, I didn’t, I have yet to find the portal back to their homeland, but this is certainly worrisome, I’ll try to help you find them, and can you summon the other head wardens for a meeting?” Crowley walked past him, Leona’s eyes following him. “I’ll be getting the teachers involved, this is a missing student case after all” He murmured, now that’s the sight he likes to see, somehow his opinion of Crowley increased. He guessed Mc became important to him as well.
However, despite the ton of effort to find you, none of them got any leads, the ache he was feeling from before got worse, he found himself awake than asleep most of the time, his head was aching, it was affecting his health too. When the housewarden meeting along with the teachers happened, of course, the majority of them volunteered to have their housemates search for you outside and inside, Crowley couldn’t get any officers involved since you weren’t officially in Twisted Wonderland, you were a walking unregistered herbivore; it was dangerous, it could get the school closed so he had to ask his staffs and students to help around, which no one complained. Everyone cared for you, you helped them one way or another; helped them grow as a person and as a mage, it made him fascinated that you get to change almost everyone in this school in just a few months of your presence, and you’re magicless even.
The improvement of the school happened because of you, and you just vanished out of thin air just like that, like some God who graced everyone with their presence only to leave once everything was sorted out. What about him?
Leona couldn’t help but feel numb, eyebags evident on his face, it was so unlike him to be overworking trying to find you, you were just a herbivore to him, someone who had the audacity to annoy him before just to gain his help. Ruggie was worried about him too, the guy tried to ease him into that he would try to use his “connections” to gain more manpower to search the whole twisted wonderland, it made him laugh, he was a second prince, he had more connections that can help with the search than Ruggie, plus he knew that you weren’t here anymore. He couldn’t accept it at first, it was just slapped on his face multiple times.
Your scent continued to fade as the days continued, he didn’t have any motivation to do anything else but try to find you, find you, and find you for the first few weeks health be damned, but when you manifested in his mind, festering him to do something else, to try to finish third year, then maybe during internship he can find leads to you. He decided that if he plans to continue to persevere, then he will. After all, he was known for his tenacity before.
Ruggie was surprised when one day, Leona started to become focus on his studies, Leona was sometimes going to class, just enough to the point he could be promoted to 4th year, where he could do internships. He thought that Leona might have forgotten about you, which kind of annoyed him, was Leona only good at doing stuff in the first place and abandoning it once he realized it was futile? Of course not! Ruggie slapped his cheeks and shook his head, Leona could never, he’s mischaracterizing his Housewarden.
While the search died down, plenty of students gave up because they kept reaching dead end after dead end in their search. Grim was often with Ace and Deuce, he noticed that the furball lost a lot of weight and he often seemed out of it. Most of the students who knew Grim understood the devastation of losing someone whom he treated as family. They try to get Grim to eat more, but he always ends up either overeating or not eating at all, the only housewardens who get him to eat normally are Vil and Riddle who have strict diets for him. Riddle is more lenient due to knowing Grim longer than Vil.
The housewardens get split custody of the Cat, and the main custody being with Riddle, Ace, and Deuce. Leona barely gets any time with Grim, and when he does, he usually just gives him to Ruggie. One time, Grim got really upset at him though.
Leona flinched in pain, blood seeping out of his arm, a scratch mark forming on it. Jack jolted and grabbed Grim’s arms, subduing him immediately. “Grim! What are you doing!?” Jack yelled out, gripping on the squirming cat.
“You! Out of everyone here, you’re the one who’s always so calm and relaxed!” Grim cried out, glaring at the Lion. Leona glared at him as he used his magic to heal his arm. “Do you even care! You just gave up after a few months!” He continued, biting Jack making Jack let go out of pain, and when Grim jumped on Leona. He got grabbed by the scuffle.
“What makes you think I stopped trying to find them?!” Leona snapped, gripping on the cat, as if he’s a cub misbehaving, this was annoying, people thinking that he doesn’t do a lot when in fact he’s been giving more than just effort “You think I’m not trying my best here!?” He lets Grim go who is surprised at his outburst. “Shit” He pinched the bridge of his nose, Jack carrying Grim again. “I’m really sorry Leona” He apologized on Grim’s behalf, but Leona just waved him off. “It’s fine,” he said, looking down at the cat. “But I want you to understand that some people just prefer doing work behind the scenes, just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean they’re not trying.”
He really was trying. The you that was cuddling him in his dreams, playing with his hair and kissing him, telling him to do his best. That had kept him sane while trying to find you. It was stupid and pathetic, but at least he knew that somehow, he never forgot your face, your scent, and your voice even if it took years. Even once he graduated, even if Falena tried to set him up with other Beastwomen or some high-ranking princess. He rejected them all, in favor of waiting for you, despite not knowing if you’ll ever come back.
He never even got to tell you his feelings before you vanished, if he did would that make you not go back to your own world? Even after a few years, your friends had already graduated, he was working in Sunset Savanna, temporarily because his brother asked him for help, he was busy jumping from place to place to maintain connections and build new ones so while his brother is gone, he was the one in charge, Cheka was already in Junior High school dreaming of getting inside Royal Sword Academy where his friends would be around as well as his father encouraging him to enroll there due to being an alumni, and his sister in law kept festering Leona about mates and stuff.
Right, did he tell you that he kept the mirror that you vanished from to his room? When he finally graduated, he felt that he needed the mirror, so he decided to buy it from Crowley, who graciously gave him the mirror without any complaints. Sometimes, he looks at himself in the mirror, hoping to see you behind it. He really wishes you would come back.
He went to sit down on the edge of his bed, sliding himself into the covers, his bed feeling cold and needing another, he stared at the ceiling, wishing in his mind that when he woke up, you’d be there, touching his cheek.
Drifting into sleep, he dreamt of you again, a dream that he saw multiple times after you vanished, his head laying on the soft plush of your thighs, he stared up at you, who was looking down at him with a soft smile, he nuzzled the hand that you placed on his cheek, placing his hand on it as he guides your hand to his lips, kissing it.
“I miss you” he murmured in his dream, your hand felt incredibly warm and soft right now, it felt… real. Maybe whatever Deity from above decided to pity him today and give him your touch that he was constantly seeking.
He didn’t want to wake up, the warmth of the sun hitting his body except for his face which you were shielding it from. The moment he lifted himself up, to go nearer your face, he wanted to kiss you now or else he might never feel this surreal experience ever again, a blinding light suddenly flashed in his vision, causing him to flinch.
“Oh, sorry Leona” a familiar voice apologized, making him groan and blink a few times, was he still dreaming? He felt his head resting on something else and not his pillow, it felt softer. When he finally was fully awake, he realized that he was in fact, not dreaming anymore. He looked up only to see you, in the same position as you did in his dream.
“Herbivore…” he froze as you rubbed his cheek gently. “Yes, I’m here” You hummed as you pushed away a bit of his hair just to see his face better. “Oh wow, Leona you became prettier!” you giggled, causing him to sit up, grabbing your cheeks, he examined you. He can’t believe it, it really is you, he’s not dreaming anymore.
“How? What?” he questioned, glaring at you maybe this was a trap, if this was some doppelganger or some shapeshifter, he’d turn you to dust, but the way you weren’t scared of his glare made his will falter, you were warm, you were there, your scent was there too, nobody can replicate that. “Herbivore you’re back” he finally caved in, pulling you into a crushing hug, which you gave back happily. “I’m back Leona, I’m sorry I vanished,” you said, burying your face into his shoulder. “You idiot, I definitely deserve an explanation for this” He growled out, not letting you go at all.
Word Count: 2,359
#twisted wonderland#angst#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted series#grim twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland leona#leona kingscholar#leona kingsholar x reader#fluff#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#twst yuu#ruggie bucchi#twst fluff#twst ruggie#jack howl
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— YOU WERE THE BEST, BUT YOU WERE THE WORST. | ex-boyfriend!r. cameron x reader
warnings; this is not canon to ‘outer banks’! this will definitely be a slight ooc rafe, slight fluff (short lived, i’m so sorry), hurt, no comfort </3, angst this is so long i apologize.
an; starting off my exbf!rafe masterlist RIGHT (hopefully, maybe) with this piece. honestly don’t know where the plot came from </3 i was thinking of what to right and was listening to ‘i love you, im sorry’ and it popped up in my head thankfully. feel free to leave requests for rafe/ex!rafe as well! but again — i am only on the second season sadly (soon i’ll be on the third! i’m just bad about watching shows). so any rafe requests will pertain to s1 & s2 as of right now! okay, i am done ranting - apologies </3
Double date night - something that you rarely look forward to, even if it’s just once every four months. Especially since it’s still slightly awkward between John B and Rafe, though, you don’t mind the boy. And you love spending time with Sarah.
Sarah glances at you from the other side of the table, lifting her brows slightly. “We’ll be right back.” She stands from her chair, holding her hand out towards yours. You take her hand, standing with a small smile.
“You both have to go at the same time?” Rafe asks, brows pinched slightly as he glances between the two of you, crystal blues lingering on you. John B discreetly nods in agreement.
“Yes,” Sarah answers before you could say anything. “You wouldn’t understand. We’ll be back in five,” She pulls you with her but stops and turns once again. “Try not killing one another while we’re gone.” Her eyes stay on Rafe longer than John B.
“Mhm.” He waves his hand, slumping back into his chair slightly. Sarah grins and pulls you towards the bathroom once again, stepping inside.
“So?” She drops your hand. You turn towards her. “Did you open it?”
“No,” You shake your head quickly. “I don’t…” Sighing, your shoulders drop. “I don’t know how to tell Rafe I even sent in an application,” Sarah’s smile slowly fades and her head tilts slightly.
“He thinks I agreed on staying here with him while Ward is giving him more opportunities. After a year,” You lean against the sink. “I don’t know if he’ll be happy about it. Especially with it being so far.”
“It’s a six hour drive,” Sarah deadpans. You stare down at the ground. Sure, it wasn’t that far. But you’d truly be homesick. She leans next to you. “Who knows, he might go with you.”
“Yeah, right,” You scoff. “His home is here. He’s made that clear already, Sarah. Besides, I don’t even know if I’m going to go.”
Sarah stares at you - eyes narrowed. “This is your future,” She points at you. “Rafe…he loves you,” She nods, face softening. “And he wants the best for you. He’ll understand. But the longer you wait to tell him…” She trails off, lips pressing into a tight line.
You sigh and nod. Rafe will be, well, angry - even if the anger would be unnecessary. “I’ll talk to him,” You nod. “But, it’ll only be just a…hypothetical question I’ll ask.”
Sarah groans slightly, shaking her head. “Insufferable, I tell you,” She mutters, pushing her hair back. “Alright, let’s get back out there so they’re not alone much longer.”
You nod and follow her back to the table, sitting back down next to Rafe. His arm slings around the back of your chair within a matter of seconds and you lean into the touch, goosebumps raising slightly from where the tips of his fingers trace across your arm.
Fumbling with your fingers on your lap, you’re unaware of how zoned out you are.
You’ve always wanted to go to college - prove and make something of yourself and not end up like another woman on Kildare Island who marries for money and then stays in an unhappy relationship with a man who could care less if she even went missing.
Your mother and father as an example.
You’re not unhappy with Rafe, and you also know he’d do anything for you if you asked him - the food on his plate, the shirt off his back, anything.
But, again, this is a chance to prove yourself - especially after many demeaning comments made in passing by friends or family. They always burned even if you laughed them off, nodding in agreement, then cry yourself to sleep that night.
University of Georgia. Sarah was right. It was only a six hour drive - you could come back on weekends and stay. Yet, you still weren't sure if you’d gotten in. The letter was on your desk, sealed, and waiting to be ripped open with anxious hands.
“You okay?” You blink a couple of times, looking over to meet Rafe’s gaze, his face melted with slight worry.
“Yeah,” You smile softly. Sarah watches quietly. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just tired.” You whisper softly.
Rafe nods and takes that as his cue, reaching into his wallet. “Here’s our half,” He passes Sarah the cash. “I have work early in the morning, so we are gonna go ahead and head out.”
Sarah nods and stands, pulling you into a hug as Rafe stands off to the side, waiting patiently, though his stance was awkward. “Text me.” She whispers. You only nod, pulling away.
“Bye, John B.” You wave as Rafe’s arm wraps around your waist, pulling you towards the exit. John B waves with a soft smile.
You shiver when you step outside. “Dude is so weird,” Rafe mumbles, shaking his head as he pulls open the door for you. “Didn’t even talk the whole time you and Sarah were in the bathroom.”
You roll your eyes and look at him. “Did you even try talking to him?”
His bottom lip pushes out slightly as he shakes his head. “Nope,” He shuts the door and you watch as he rounds the truck, getting into the driver's side, quickly starting the engine. “Seat-warmer? On or off?”
“On, please,” You watch as his finger presses the button. “And how do you expect him to start a conversation when he doesn’t know what to talk about with you?”
“He could’ve said or asked anything. I’m an open book - I’ll let you know if I want to talk about it or not.”
You hum and nod, leaning your head back into the headrest as your eyes slowly close.
“Hey,” Slowly opening your eyes, you peek over at him. “Are you okay? You seem…” He trails off, trying and thinking of a word that doesn't seem offensive. “off?”
“Oh,” You nod, reaching your hand over to grab him. He grips softly three times. “Yeah. I’m okay.”
Rafe stares at you quietly. He knows you’re lying but he’s not the type to push unless it truly affects him. You’ll come to him when you want to talk about whatever is on your mind.
Nodding, he squeezes your hand back three times. A smile pulls at your lips as your eyes drop to your hands.
—
“I’ll be back. I’m gonna go grab something to drink,” You step out of the bathroom, dressy clothes switched for one of Rafe’s shirts and some shorts - movie attire. “You want anything?” He shakes his head and puts his phone down on the nightstand.
“I’m good.”
Nodding, you walk down the steps, leaving Rafe alone in your room. You move quickly, grabbing a water bottle from the refrigerator and a pack of gummy’s that were still in the bag from the quick grocery run you both had made earlier.
Jogging back up the steps, you smile and kick your door shut gently. “Did you find a—” You stop when you see Rafe closer than expected, standing by your desk with an envelope in his hand.
He holds it up. “What is this?”
You shift, gulping quietly and averting your gaze but quickly look back. “Uhm…a letter.”
“Yeah,” He scoffs, stepping closer. “I see that it’s a letter. When did you even apply?”
You lift your right shoulder - a quick shrug, eyes now looking at the envelope he now holds rather than his face. “F…four months ago?” You wince, peeking up at him quickly before looking back down. “I was going to tell you—”
“Oh, you were?”
“Yes,” You quickly nod. “Yes, I was. I haven’t even opened it. But even if I did get in, I don’t know if I’d truly go, Rafe. You’re overreacting.”
“You never even told me you wanted to go to college,” He shakes his head, fingers itching to either crumble the letter or rip it. He was trying to hold it together. “We had a plan, remember?”
“What plan? The one where we stay here while you work and I stay home and do the same thing over and over everyday? Have a kid or two?” Your eyes now lift to look at him.
“Yes! That one,” He holds his arms out towards you. “The one we both agreed too.”
“I never agreed to that. You made that plan yourself and just filled me in on it - never once asking what I wanted,” You scoff, pushing past him. “If you truly believed that’s what I wanted, you don’t know me at all.”
“Then tell me what you actually want.”
“I want a life!” You drop the stuff in your hands onto your mattress, turning towards him. “A life! One where…where I get a degree in something I enjoy! Or even own a little shop and sell…antiques or food or whatever,”
“I don’t even know if I want kids, Rafe. I want…” You trail off, looking at him as you feel your eyes begin to sting. Don’t cry, don’t cry, do not cry. “I want someone who wants to…move, explore, do something that they want instead of listening to their parents because they think it’ll make them happy.”
“You think I’m working there just to make my dad happy? You don’t think working there makes me happy?”
It doesn’t. He’s been more angry - even at the littlest things. He looks more drained, tired. He doesn’t enjoy it, but if it gets his fathers praise or attention, he’ll do it.
“No. I don’t,” You shake your head. You debated on even answering that question, but you notice how his expression changes slightly, the anger wavering. You step closer, staring up at him. “I know you aren’t happy, because I know you,” You place your hands on his chest softly.
“I know you. But you don’t even know what I want.”
Rafe is silent now. You notice he’s grasping at straws to find something to say. Something to fight back with. You wait patiently, allowing him to conjure up something.
“Me,” He lands on, brows slightly pinching together. You notice how tears line his waterline. “Me. You want me. A life with me.”
“I do…I do so badly, Rafe,” You whisper, hands lifting to cup his cheeks. The tears roll down his cheeks now. He rarely ever cries. “But I also don’t want a life like my mom and dad,” Your thumbs push away at the tears.
“I can’t have you getting upset or angry with me because I want to do something with my life,” You drop your chin slightly to follow his eyes when he looks away. “Georgia isn’t far away and you’re acting as if it is.”
“That’s not…” His jaw clenches and he pulls away from your hold. You drop your hands by your side, watching as his eyes shut and he forcibly shakes his head quickly. “No. You’re being confusing. I’m not…I’m not angry or upset with this,” He holds up the letter.
“I’m angry that you didn’t even want to talk to me about it.”
“I have,” His head quickly turns to look at you. “I’ve told you so many times, Rafe, that I wanted to go. Because of how many times I’ve been told I’m not even smart enough to get into a school like that - that I’ll end up just like them.”
“That’s being hypocritical, don’t you think?”
Your face drops into confusion, head tilting. “What?”
“You want to go to college to…prove yourself or whatever,” He waves his hand in the air. “But…you’re telling me I’m working for my dad because I want to get his praise or attention.”
“That’s different—”
“It’s not any different,” His voice raises slightly, your mouth quickly shutting and eyes darting away as your arms cross over your chest. “We both want to prove ourselves to our parents and whoever else has doubted what we could do,” It feels weird to Rafe to admit that out loud.
He looks down at the letter and holds it out towards you. Your eyes glance at him before his outstretched arm. “Open it.”
Your eyes quickly look at him once again. Hesitantly, you reach out and pull the sealed letter from his grasp. Flipping it over, you try not to seem too desperate when ripping it open. The envelope falls to the ground as you unfold the paper, eyes darting over the words.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
A smile pulls at your lips, eyes looking up at Rafe who stands there, watching quietly. “I got in,” You whisper. He nods slightly and looks down at the paper that shakes slightly in your grasp. “I got in.” You voice a little louder, looking back at the letter. The tears that finally break loose and slide down your cheeks, drop onto the paper.
“Congratulations.” Rafe nods. You quickly look back at him, placing the paper on your desk, stepping closer.
“You could come with me,” You nod quickly, smiling softly as your hands cup his cheeks once again. “Yeah. You could come with me. We could get a small apartment close to the college - I wouldn’t have to live on campus,”
He stares at you quietly. “We could actually live together. Come down every two or three weeks to visit friends and whoever else,” Your smile would usually be contagious - now it just makes him angry. Your touch is making it feel as if you’re burning him.
“We could also stay for the weekend since it’s only a six hour drive,” You let out a small laugh, dropping your hands to his shoulders. “Rafe, come on. Act a little more—”
“What, happy?” His tone causes the smile to slip from your lips. His hands lift to wrap around your wrist, pushing your touch away from him.
“Well, yeah,” You stare at him. “I’m…I’m telling you we could actually live together in our own space and you’re not even…” You trail off.
“Yeah, well, I’m not exactly too happy that you decided it would be okay for me to just uproot my life from here to go with you.” Oh, Rafe, shut up, shut up, shut up.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That I’m not doing that!” He throws his hands up. “I’m not leaving everything behind here that I’ve slowly worked through! Dad would never let me hear the end of it.”
“Is this about me or your dad? Do you not remember when you used to come here just because he would kick you out for weeks before even letting you come back home?” Your own voice begins to raise. “Do you seriously trust him enough to work with him or is it just for the money that he is able to provide?”
His jaw clenches and he shakes his head. “I don’t have to listen to this,” He walks past you and grabs the duffle bag that sits on your chair. You turn and watch him, lips parting as he begins to stuff his things into his bag. “I don’t have to listen to your version of a ‘perfect life’ when I can have that.”
It’s like he’s trying to convince himself that he would still have that perfect life when you decide to leave everything behind - leave him behind.
“You don’t think we could build something up together and have that be perfect?” You walk over towards him as he turns. He stops and stares down at you. “You don’t think we could build our own home together? Something better than here?”
His lips pull into a tight line so he doesn’t say something he regrets. He steps into the bathroom, removing his stuff before stepping back towards his back.
“Rafe…” You watch him. “Rafe, please. Why are you being like this? I just want you to talk—”
“I’m angry because you can leave but I can’t!” He turns towards you. You stumble back slightly but quickly regain composure, eyes widened slightly. “You can leave everything behind and you’ll be fine. But if I do…” He lets out a laugh which sounds more like a scoff before shaking his head. “I’m not you. I care too much.”
“You…” You watch as he zips up his bag. “You think I don’t care? Why do you think I wanted you to come with me?!”
“Money.”
The anger that builds in your chest makes you feel as if you’re sweating profusely. “I would never be with you just because of the money and you know it, Rafe,” You jab your finger into his chest. “I love you! That’s why I wanted you to come with me! This whole argument could’ve been avoided if you’d just understand me!”
“Yeah, well,” He grabs his keys from your desk. “You said you didn’t want to end up like your parents.”
“Rafe, don’t do this,” You step closer. “You’re being irrational for no reason.”
He glances back at you one last time - watches how your lip quivers, eyes pleading with him. “Please.” You whisper. His eyes drift over towards your desk, the letter on top taunting him.
He steps out of your room, slamming the door behind himself. You stand there, staring at the closed door waiting for the moment he steps back in, laughing in your face about how he got you and you’d punch him in the arm. The night would continue with a movie and sour gummy worms.
Yeah. That sounds perfect.
But the sound of the front door opening and closing downstairs and the start of his truck has that wish shattering. You rush towards your window, peeking out the curtains. His tires squeal on the pavement as he backs out and speeds off.
Pulling back, you slowly walk towards your bed and sit on the edge. Your eyes stare at the floor as your hands rest in your lap. Your heart beats uncomfortably fast.
You slowly reach for your phone, immediately texting Sarah to come over.
After the texts she sent go unanswered, she’s there within ten minutes and running up the steps. Opening the door, her eyes dart around the room, before they land on you.
You slowly look over at her. “I got in.”
Her smile is immediately, mouth parting to speak but she quickly stops when she watches your face crumble, a sob leaving your throat. The door shuts and she quickly walks over, pulling you close to her.
You cry until your eyes are heavy and your throat hurts. You pull away slowly and Sarah looks at you sadly. Your eyes linger on her skin, reaching over and wiping away your tears that had fallen, making a slight face. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” She shakes her head, reaching for your hand. “What happened?”
The explanation was hard to get through, some tears and pauses along the way but Sarah nods, face remaining morphed into sadness.
“Then he left.”
Sarah lets out a small sigh. “I mean, he was rejected from that college. Maybe he’s just…” Your brows furrow slightly, head tilting. “Maybe he’s angry at himself - which doesn’t excuse—”
“Wait,” You quickly cut her off. “What do you mean, he was rejected from that college? When did Rafe even apply?”
She stares at you quietly. “Uh,” She shifts. She thought Rafe might’ve told you - she thought wrong. “He applied last year. He was so excited when he got the letter. He had me open it because he was so nervous,”
Looking down at the loose thread on Sarah’s shorts, you frown at the thought of Rafe being excited then learning that it wasn’t what he was expecting. “He thought I was being mean,” Sarah nods. “I actually felt bad for him. He was…Rafe is smart - when he puts his mind to it. He had the grades for it. Especially when you two started talking,”
Your eyes lift and she smiles sadly. “He hammered down then,” She nods. “Dad offered to, uh…” She shifts uncomfortably and messes with the bracelet on your wrist. “He offered to pay the school a lump sum of money.”
“Rafe told him no, because he wanted to get in without that kind of help,” Sarah nods. “Dad laughed. He told Rafe he wasn’t sure why he thought he would be able to get in. He left for four days after that.”
Thinking back, you remember one time when Rafe had come to your home closer to his graduation. He seemed more sad than what he usually did. When he stepped in, he mumbled some excuse about Rose wanting him out.
“I never knew any of that. He didn’t tell me.”
“I know,” Sarah nods. “That still doesn’t give him any right to say and do what he did to you though.”
You nod, looking towards the picture frame on your dresser, shoulders dropping slightly. “I don’t know if I can leave now.”
“Hey, no,” Sarah grabs your face and turns it back, lowering them to your shoulders once you’re staring at him. “You’re not backing out on this. This is your chance to have a future. You can talk to Rafe, but do not let him change your mind about going.”
“This could’ve been avoided, Sarah.” Your lip quivers and head shakes.
“It could’ve,” She agrees with a small nod. “But him seeing that letter did not need to cause this,” She motions towards your face. Did not need to cause crying for almost an hour straight. “He has every reason to be upset or jealous - whatever he feels. But he should feel happy for you.This is a big accomplishment.”
Nodding a bit, you smile softly. “I’ll try talking to him,” She nods. “Thank you for coming. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
She smiles. “Not a lot.” She teases.
You laugh softly, leaning your cheek over onto her arm that remains close to you. “Do you mind staying?” You whisper.
“Not at all.”
—
| FOUR MONTHS LATER.
| I know you’re not speaking to me. But I'd really like to see you before I leave.
| Say a proper goodbye.
| Please come with Sarah.
READ AT 12:30PM.
Your heart breaks but it’s something you’ve grown used to over the four months away from Rafe. Quickly dropping your phone, you look over when the door opens.
Your mom smiles softly when she sees you folding a shirt, stuffing it into a suitcase. You’re leaving some clothes home, in your room, but taking some with you. Your dad had given you a free range of spending after learning about getting accepted.
That’s the first time you’ve ever felt as if he was proud of you.
“I can’t believe you're leaving me,” You turn and send your mom a small smile. “I’ll be home every four weeks unless something important comes up. And for holidays. You could also come see me.”
“I don’t like driving and neither does your dad, you know that,” There’s something that wavers in her voice that has a frown pulling at your lips and fingers gripping the material you hold. She steps closer and clears her throat. “Are you sure you want to leave early?”
You stare at her quietly for a moment as you actually think about backing out of this whole thing. You wanted to leave a month early so you can explore a new place, maybe meet some new friends. But you also didn’t want to leave everyone else behind.
But you wanted to leave everyone behind at the same time.
A part of you felt bad for leaving your mom - although another part doesn’t. She never really showed she cared, but maybe that wasn’t her fault.
“I’m sure. I want to make sure I know where everything is,” You nod, turning back to your bag. You finish with the shirt in your hand, zipping up your bag. “Sarah, John B, and everyone's on their way to say bye.”
She doesn’t know about the fight with Rafe. And you did not want to tell her - she’d find some way to blame you for it.
You also didn’t feel like crying once again.
She nods and smiles softly. “Come with me. Your dad said he’d get your bags.”
You're surprised, but nod and follow behind her down the steps. Your dad was in the kitchen, giving you a small smile in passing before he walked upstairs.
You turn your attention back, eyes dropping to a box. “What’s this?”
“A care package,” She nods. You eye it before looking at her. “Do you…remember those homemade cookies we used to make with one another?”
“Oh, I don’t—”
“I made some,” She quickly cuts you off. You, of course, remember making those cookies. They were the best cookies you’ve ever tasted - nothing has yet to top them yet. You were smush surprised she even made them. “Last night. I was…I was up late making this with some of the other snacks you used to like as well.”
You pull the box closer, opening it and peeking inside. Your heart stops for a moment before glancing up. “Mom—”
She circles around and grabs your biceps softly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there the most when you needed me,” Your eyes begin to sting. “When you were older. I should’ve stuck up more for you and been there. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
She pulls you towards her quickly, squeezing you tightly. You can’t remember the last time you hugged either one of your parents. Not one of those side hugs, or hugs that you do for a family portrait and quickly pull away after the flash goes off.
An actual bone-crushing hug.
Your arms slowly wrap around her, before your eyes slowly squeeze shut, moving closer.
“My baby,” She whispers, pulling away and pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’m so sorry.”
You smile softly, shaking your head quickly. “It’s okay.” You whisper, breath shuddering slightly as you wipe your tears with the back of your hand. She reaches up and wipes at your other cheek.
“I’m so, so proud of you, you know?”
It’s strange. The words she says have your face crumbling and another shaky breath escaping you. You never knew if she was truly ever proud of you or not - you still wasn’t for sure, the words could just be in the moment - but it still renders you breathless all the same.
You jump slightly when you hear a honk outside. Your eyes dart towards the front door before glancing at your mom. She nods. “I’ll get your dad to carry this out too.”
You nod and start to walk out of the kitchen. You pause and turn back around, hugging her tightly. “I love you, Mom.” You whisper softly.
Her arms tighten once more for a second before releasing slightly. “I love you, sunshine.” Suddenly, you’re a little girl again, beaming at her when you pull away.
You quickly walk outside, smiling softly when you see the people who are standing outside, waiting by your car. Walking over, JJ is the first to see you.
“Hello, Miss Georgia.” He grins, walking over. Everyone glances over. You embrace him in a hug, smiling softly.
“Hello, JJ,” You laugh softly, pulling away. “Thanks for coming. Sorry that it’s gonna be a short goodbye too - I want to get going before traffic hits.”
“Then we better get to it,” Topper says from the side. “There’s a concert going on today.”
You hum softly and hug JJ once again, patting his back softly. “Don’t get yourself into too much trouble.”
“No promises.” It sounds like he sniffles at the end, but you pull away to hug Pope next as JJ turns and fixes his hat.
“Make good choices and study.” He reminds you. You pull away and stare at him, grinning.
“You’re so studious, Pope.”
He smiles softly and pulls you into another quick hug, patting your back before moving to stand next to JJ. You hug Topper and Kelce next - a side hug, but it was still nice of them to come tell you goodbye.
You hug Kiara next, promising to text her and send her pictures of the sunsets - mountains, too, if you go hiking.
John B gives you a small smile. Sarah pushes him slightly. “She doesn’t bite,” She shakes her head. “Well—”
“Hush, Sarah,” You warn, hugging John B. You lower your voice. “Take care of her, okay?”
He nods and steps away. You smile at Sarah and hug her tightly, feeling her fingers grip at the material of your shirt. “I’m sorry he didn’t come. I tried.” She whispers.
You nod. “It’s okay…” You whisper. Pulling away, you smile and take a look at everyone.
“I love you guys,” You nod. “Thanks for being here. It means a lot.”
“Anything for you,” JJ smiles. “But we can’t watch you leave. Otherwise, we will follow you.”
Letting out a small laugh, you nod. “Then you guys better go. I’m about to leave after I tell mom and dad bye.” You motion over your shoulder.
They all walk towards their cars, goodbye’s and ‘I’ll see you soon’ filling the space. You watch as everyone disappears before turning. You see both your mom and dad standing and waiting patiently. Walking over, you smile.
“Okay…I guess this is the part where we hug and I promise you I’ll see you both soon?”
The man chuckles and pulls you close. “Exactly,” He pats your back, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You allow yourself to be selfish and indulge in his attention. “I love you. Text when you get there, okay?”
You nod. “I will. Thank you, dad.”
He presses another quick kiss to the top of your head, pulling away. You step towards your mom first, pulling her into another tight hug. “Call me whenever you need to. When you want to come back.” She whispers.
You smile and nod. “I will. I love you.” You feel her nod and you pull away from the both of them, walking towards your car and slipping inside. You glance in your rearview mirror, watching as your mom lingers on the doorstep as your dad passes by, stepping inside. You frown slightly.
The attention he had given you was short lived.
Sighing, you turn on your car and hover your thumb over the START button on maps. Your eyes lift once again towards the house. The door shuts once again.
Your eyes begin to sting as you look away once again, clicking the button.
“In .3 miles, make a left…”
Rafe pauses as he watches your car make a quick left, disappearing from his view. Rubbing at his face, he looks over at the packed bags in his passenger seat.
He backed out.
He packed his bags. Drove to your home to see if the offer still stands - to see if you still wanted him to go with you. Then he stopped before he even pulled into the driveway.
He didn’t know why he couldn’t push himself to do it, no matter how many times he kept saying that’s what he wanted. He wanted you. He wanted to make a home with you. Have that perfect life that you believed in.
He didn’t know what was holding him back.
Starting up his truck, he stares at the mailbox in front of your house. He clears his throat and quickly pulls into the driveway, getting out and making his way up to the door. He knocks and waits.
Your dad answers, brows slightly lifted. “Oh, Rafe,” He then pinches them together in confusion. “Didn’t you already say goodbye?”
“No,” He shakes his head quickly. “I, uh…I was at work.” He lies.
“Well, I’m sorry, kid. You just missed her,” He motions towards the end of the driveway. “I could call if you want—”
“No,” He quickly stops him. “No…I don’t want to hold her up if she had a timeline she wanted to follow. Thank you, though, sir.”
He nods and begins to shut the door. “Wait,” The door opens once again. “This might be…” He trails off. It wouldn’t be weird. As far as they know - hopefully - you both are still together. “Would it be okay if I go up to her room?”
The older man’s brows lift slightly, shrugging. “I don’t see why not.”
Rafe nods and steps inside when he steps away. “Thank you, sir. I’ll be quick.” He makes his way towards the steps, quickly jogging up them and towards your room.
He opens the door, stepping inside before closing it behind himself. He slowly steps in and stuffs his hands in his pockets as he looks around the room.
Sitting on the edge of your bed, he smiles to himself softly. It did feel strange sitting in your room, without you.
His eyes land on the photo on the nightstand, picking it up carefully. It had been moved from your dresser, closer to your bed. He didn’t know if that was good or bad.
His chin quivers and drags his thumb across the dried flowers that had been stuffed under the glass. They were from your second date - Rafe had been late, Ward holding him up to do something that could’ve waited.
He wanted Ward's approval and put you last. He thinks that was the first time he ever did that. You never held it against him.
Kicking off his shoes, he shifts around in the bed as he lies on his side. He holds the frame close to his chest, arms crossing over it protectively.
He was never the one to get close to people. It was a surprise that he had even let you get close enough that you knew his little tics he would do when he was nervous, lying, or joking.
Close enough that you knew him better than he knew himself.
More than he knew you.
The thought makes his eyes squeeze alongside the painful squeeze of his heart, the heel of his palm pressing in between his brows. His phone is weighing heavily in his pocket - his mind screaming for him to just call.
But he didn’t want to hold you back. He knew you were meant for something greater than this place. Your friends. Him. You deserved to prove yourself in a way he never could or never will be able too.
He loved you too much to hold you back.
He loves you too much.
His eyes grow heavier, the hold on the frame loosening as he slowly falls asleep to the scent of your sheets that smelled of both you and him.
That smelled of home.
— tags; @starkeyvhs ; @clairoscharm ; @oceanblvd111
| please do not steal my content! feedback, requests, comments, & reblogs are appreciated & very welcomed. ᢉ𐭩
#drew starkey x fem!reader#drew starkey x reader#rafe cameron x fem!reader#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n
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DENIAL IS NOT A RIVER IN LUKOLALAND
⚠️DISCLAIMER: This is Lukolaland only. Skip if you don't believe.
Denial is a river in LUKOLALAND?
This has to be a joke, right? Some responses that I have received on my latest posts on TT and Tumblr leave me perplexed. Let me make something clear: I’m not here to convince anyone of anything. You have the right to believe whatever you want, that’s your prerogative. However, this is a Lukola space. It’s a space that exists to celebrate their connection, to nurture it from afar, because it shines brightly and is uniquely beautiful.
I don’t know them personally. I can only judge from what I’ve seen and heard, and I fully acknowledge that my perception is biased. My interpretations come from the way I read into their actions, their words, and their patterns. What I share here isn’t fact, it’s speculation based on observation. The only thing I know for sure is that I don’t know what’s really going on.
First and foremost, they are colleagues and FRIENDS. They’ve said that multiple times, and I believe them. For those who doubt their friendship, I don’t know what to tell you. That’s the foundation here. If you don’t even believe in their bond as friends, this probably isn’t the space for you.
But here’s where it gets complicated: they’re not just platonic friends. You may have missed it, but the signs are there, publicly available. You just need to pay attention. I’m not talking about outlandish theories; I’m talking about what’s right there if you’re willing to see it.
I believe they’re in love with each other. As for their current situation? I’m not certain. But the level of plausible deniability in their story doesn’t make sense to me. Maybe it does to you, but for someone who thinks in layers, patterns, double entendres, and undertones, someone who loves words and has studied communication and PR, this whole narrative is anything but straightforward.
Leaving this much space for misinterpretation is a choice. If they wanted to shut this down entirely, they could’ve done so with clarity and finality. It’s not that they can’t make themselves understood without being misconstrued, they absolutely can. But they haven’t.
It’s wise to keep a level of doubt, it maintains objectivity and prevents overreach. However, when coincidences stack up and patterns emerge, it becomes increasingly unlikely that they’re all mere misunderstandings or products of plausible deniability.
The more coincidences there are, the less likely they are to be unrelated.
On their own, one or two could easily be explained away, “just friends,” “PR,” or “fans reading too much into it.”
When similar themes arise repeatedly over months or years (e.g., their timing, shared themes, subtle nods to one another), the likelihood of them being mere coincidence diminishes.
The concept of plausible deniability hinges on actions that could be explained in multiple ways. However, the more layers of ambiguity and deniability built into their interactions, the more intentional it feels.
The subtleties of their public dynamic suggest a shared awareness of fan interpretations. They know how their actions are perceived. To repeatedly engage in behaviors that could be "misunderstood" suggests either: a) Intentional messaging within safe boundaries. b) A significant lack of care, which doesn’t align with how thoughtful and calculated they seem to be.
Take Nicola’s recent Times interview as an example. She could have ended all speculation right there,
“A lot of people really want me to marry Luke,” she says with a laugh. “We have this gorgeous friendship. We have such a love for one another and this experience that I’ll never have with someone else again. Isn’t it gorgeous that a man and woman can have that sort of relationship with one another?”
but she didn’t. Why? There must be a reason. And no, it’s not just PR. PR campaigns don’t operate on layers of plausible deniability that stretch across years, interweave with personal moments, and rely on such specific timing.
Isn’t it strange that for two people who have been so close, their social interactions have significantly decreased compared to before? Over the past two years, especially after the world tour, they appeared to have solidified a deep friendship. If the intent is to disengage fans from the idea that they might be secretly in love, wouldn’t it be wiser to interact more naturally and perhaps even acknowledge each other’s perceived partners?
From a strategic perspective, a like, a follow, or a simple interaction on social media could have gone a long way in dismantling the Lukola narrative. Such actions would feel natural for close friends, especially ones under public scrutiny. Their reluctance to adopt this approach only adds to the curiosity. Why not lean into a strategy that would be less detrimental and more effective at quelling speculation?
Perhaps they are more active on private social media accounts, but publicly, the absence of these gestures stands out. If the goal truly is to clarify their relationship and put fan theories to rest, this perceived distance feels counterproductive. The choice to refrain from such actions, at least for now, is, at the very least, curious. Could it be that there’s a reason they haven’t done so yet?
Both Luke and Nicola have had ample opportunities to firmly address and deny the Lukola narrative. While they’ve made passing comments about being friends, these have lacked the clarity and directness that would fully quash the speculation. Why leave the door ajar if they truly wanted to shut it?
Their reduced interactions seem to have coincided with the conclusion of the promotional period for Bridgerton. During promotions, they were actively engaging with each other and the fandom, fostering the image of a close bond. The sudden change afterward could indicate a deliberate decision to recalibrate public perceptions of their relationship.
The decrease in public interactions after the “papgate” could be their way of managing fallout from the incident, yet it raises questions: Why would two close friends need to distance themselves so noticeably? It suggests a calculated retreat to reduce speculation. However, this strategy seems counterproductive, as the abruptness of the change has drawn more attention. A gradual shift, paired with natural acknowledgments of their respective supposed personal lives, might have been more effective.
It’s possible they’re still VERY close privately but have chosen to limit their public interactions to avoid misinterpretation, or for privacy reasons. If so, this deliberate choice to create distance publicly could point to a deeper connection they’re trying to shield.
This brings us back to patterns. If you observe their public interactions, their timing, their word choices, the double meanings, they’re not random. These coincidences pile up to the point where it’s hard to believe they’re all meaningless. Their bond transcends the boundaries of PR, platonic friendship, or even ordinary relationships.
If you reason in layers, you’ll see it too. The amount of room they leave for interpretation is extraordinary. It’s not just about what they say, it’s about what they don’t say. It’s about the undertones, the pauses, the way they navigate questions, and even the things they choose to share (or not share) on social media. All of this seems to be deliberate. The picture is larger and more intricate than it seems on the surface.
For example: Am I truly supposed to believe that Nicola, who has a higher degree in English and a major grasp of language, would post a Scrabble board with so many elements that could be interpreted through a Lukola lens purely by coincidence? Yes, she’s an avid player of word games, but let’s examine the board itself. It reflects competent but not advanced gameplay, logical and adhering to Scrabble rules, yes, but lacking the level of complexity, strategy, and nuanced word choice you’d expect from someone of her linguistic caliber or from a player displaying their skill.
For me, this was never just about showing off her love of Scrabble. It felt intentional, like an intended message rather than a casual post. If the goal was simply to share her hobbies or an aesthetic moment, she could’ve easily posted a picture of herself playing Scrabble, perhaps with a pint of Guinness in hand. Or she could’ve showcased a more advanced board to reflect her skills or creativity. Instead, she chose this specific board with these specific words, words that align so conveniently with a narrative many of us have come to associate with Lukola.
And let’s not forget her self-awareness. Why would someone who knows how deeply her posts are analyzed by fans continue to share things that are repeatedly misconstrued? If she didn’t want the association, why add layers of ambiguity, such as the now infamous “the very demure, very mindful” quote? What was the reason?
Just two days ago, she posted a photo in her best of 2024 the phrase "if you know, you know." Let’s be honest, how many Lukola edits have we seen that riff of "when you know, you know"? If this wasn’t related to that, what exactly was the point of the “random” quote? Is it public knowledge or is it something only some know? Nicola is anything but random on social media. She’s chronically online, she’s clever, and she’s incredibly aware of the narratives circulating around her.
These patterns, Scrabble boards, cryptic quotes, wordplay, and selective ambiguity, don’t feel accidental. They feel curated. For someone so skilled with words and communication, there’s intention behind these choices. If it were just for fun, she could have chosen countless other ways to express herself that wouldn’t leave so much room for interpretation. But she didn’t. And for me, that’s speaks volumes.
I’m mainly talking about Nicola here because there’s simply more material to analyze, her posts, interviews, and public interactions offer more clues and layers to unpack. However, Luke’s activity, or rather, his noticeable lack of activity, is equally intriguing and worth examining.
Luke has always been more reserved on social media compared to Nicola, but his recent silence or carefully curated posts stand out. He’s not just absent; he’s selectively absent. There’s a difference between being inactive and deliberately staying under the radar. For someone who previously shared glimpses of his personal life and participated more openly in fandom engagement, his current approach feels intentional.
When he does post, the content often seems neutral, leaning into professional promotion or generic life updates. Yet, the timing or lack of acknowledgment of certain things, whether related to Nicola or even his supposed personal relationships, leaves room for speculation. It’s almost as if he’s consciously avoiding feeding into narratives while simultaneously not shutting them down.
For instance, why hasn’t he addressed certain rumors head-on, as he has done in the past with other relationships? Luke has historically been upfront about his. It’s a choice.
Considering that Luke has been involved in other projects and worked with other co-stars since the end of the Bridgerton world tour, the ratio of content related to Nicola remains strikingly high. Among the limited glimpses he does share, Nicola accounts for the largest percentage of reposts and interactions. What’s even more telling is that the majority of this content is Lukola-focused, centered on his dynamic with Nicola as individuals, rather than strictly Polin-related, which would be tied to their characters and professional pairing. Yes, she is his MAIN co-star within the Bridgerton universe, but this level of engagement is noteworthy.
This isn’t to say he doesn’t appreciate or acknowledge his other co-stars; it’s just that the weight of attention, however subtle, consistently gravitates toward Nicola. Whether it’s the choice of what he reposts or the absence of comparable attention toward other colleagues, the pattern emerges loud and clear.
If we analyze this through a lens of probability and statistics, the numbers paint an even more intriguing picture. Let’s say Luke has worked with five to seven notable co-stars in other projects and in Bridgerton, if he has been tagged in or had the opportunity to engage with 100 pieces of social media content since the world tour. If Nicola accounts for, say, 60% of the interactions and reposts, despite being one of many co-stars, it defies the expectation of a more even distribution.
For context, if he were equally invested in all professional relationships, the engagement with Nicola might hover closer to 15-20%, proportional to the size of his broader network. The fact that this number is so much higher, let’s conservatively estimate at least three to four times greater raises questions. Is this simply because of their shared Bridgerton fame? Perhaps. But then why focus on individual Lukola moments, bypassing more neutral or inclusive Polin or broader cast content?
From a mathematical standpoint, the odds of this being purely coincidental diminish significantly when you layer in the context:
Nicola has the highest percentage of reposts across Luke's social media activity.
The type of content intimate, personal, or Lukola-specific reflects a curated choice, not random selection.
Even in a professional context, where Polin content would be the obvious promotional focus, the Lukola-centric moments shine through.
Given the numbers and probabilities, it seems less likely that this pattern is accidental or merely reflective of professional obligations. Instead, it suggests an intentionality that aligns with the depth and uniqueness of their connection.
Promotion for Bridgerton Season 3 has come to a halt, creating a quiet period where we can observe and compare how Luke approaches the promotion of his other projects.it could highlight how unique his dynamic with Nicola truly is.
The nature of the content he shares for other projects will be equally telling
By comparing these promotional efforts both in terms of frequency and tone to the patterns established during the Bridgerton promotional cycle, we could gain insight into whether his approach to Nicola was truly unique or simply part of his broader professional routine.
When coincidences pile up, their probability of being just coincidences shrinks dramatically. A single instance might be random, but repeated instances with similar themes, timing, and emotional undertones suggest a deeper meaning. While maintaining doubt is reasonable, the sheer volume of these moments suggests that there’s more at play than mere misunderstanding. It’s not about overreaching, it’s about acknowledging that where there’s consistent smoke, there’s likely some fire. What type of fire is there currently? I’m not sure. Are you? Probably an Eternal flame.
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Sweetness » Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Bucky is addicted to his girlfriend’s (the reader) sweetness.
Warnings: Smut (18+), language, dirty talk, kissing, hickeys, (f receiving), hair pulling, pet names (doll, sweetie, sweetness)
Written on my phone so sorry if there’s any mistakes or typos.
GIF IS NOT MINE! Credit goes to the creators.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!🔞
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
Sweetness. That’s the word Bucky describes you as. From head to toe. Inside and out. He just has to have it. No matter where and when, day or night, he has to taste you wherever and whenever he can. For example, every morning before he leaves for work or before he leaves for a mission or even in an alleyway on date night. He will stop what he’s doing just to have you on his tongue. This man knows how to make you weak at the knees with his tongue, fingers, and cock.
That’s how you two ended up here. You two are in a dimly lit supply closet in the Avengers Compound. Your panties are in the front pocket of his jeans and his head is underneath your skirt with your leg over his shoulder. He already marked up with thighs with hickeys. Your fingers are tugging at his hair and your head is thrown back against the wall. His beard was rubbing against your inner thighs, adding to the pleasure he was already giving you. Bucky has already given you three orgasms and he’s going for a fourth. You felt like you were about to fall apart any second.
“Bucky!” You whined.
“Yes, doll?” Bucky says against your core.
“I don’t think I can do it anymore. I-It’s too much.” You whimpered.
“C’mon, sweetie. You can give me one more. I know you can.” He says.
“I’ll try.” You say in almost a whimper.
“That’s my girl.” He smiles and pats your thigh.
Bucky’s tongue dove right back in between your wet folds as his fingers rubbed your sensitive clit in fast circles. A gasp left your mouth when his metal fingers entered you unexpectedly.
“Fuck, Bucky!” You moaned, arching your back off the wall.
The grip you have on his hair got tighter. That just encouraged him to move tongue and fingers faster making your orgasm approach you a lot faster this time.
“I-I’m gonna c-cum!” You managed to say.
“Give it to me, sweetness.” Bucky whispers.
Your orgasm came crashing down on you like a tidal wave. You came harder than ever before, drenching his face. Bucky removed his tongue and fingers from you making you whine at the empty feeling. Bucky kissed your inner thighs before standing up and kissing you hungrily. You moaned when you tasted your release on his lips.
“You always have the sweetest taste, doll.” Bucky says against your lips.
And just like that, you were wet again.
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
-Bucky’s Doll
#sergeant james buchanan barnes#sergeant james barnes#sergeant barnes#james buchanan bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#james barnes#bucky barnes#winter soldier#sebastian stan#the avengers#avengers#marvel#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#sebastian stan characters
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some thoughts on how lilia views love
I’ve been watching through the Stitch event and there’s a bit of dialogue Lilia says that unfortunately made me Think, so I wanted to gather my babblings here.
This post contains spoilers for: Book 7, Tsumsted Wonderland 2, Lost in the Book with Stitch, Spectral Soiree/Endless Halloween, and Tamashina Mina
After spending the day fighting off Gantu’s robots, scavenging for food, and exploring the island, the boys rest for a bit in an old cottage they found. Lilia wants to take the opportunity to spruce up the cottage and make it more resort-like while they’re enjoying this “vacation”, and Riddle and Jack are both surprised and a bit peeved to hear him say this.
Riddle: Don’t you want to find a way off this island as soon as possible, Lilia Senpai? Malleus Senpai, Silver, and Sebek… Everyone at Diasomnia must be worried sick about you right now. I should think you’d want to assuage their concerns a tad bit faster!
Lilia: …Thing is, I trust them.
Riddle: You trust them?
Lilia: Mm-hmm. Knowing them, no doubt they understand I’m safe and sound and having a good time right now. Malleus and the others know I’m not the type of guy who’d get in a pickle over something as trivial as this. And that’s because they know me very, very well – just like family!
(snipped)
Lilia: It’s truly wonderful having people in your life who trust you and wish the best for you - and for whom you do the same in return - no matter how far apart you may be.
When you take this dialogue and look at in isolation of this event, then it’s a wonderful thing to hear Lilia say. He trusts his boys and they trust him - because they’re family, and that’s what families do. It’s always great to hear the characters themselves acknowledge their strong bonds with each other, and I thought it was really cute how Stitch got so happy to hear Lilia talking about his Ohana.
But when you take what he said and consider the broader story of Twisted Wonderland (vignettes and events, included), and you consider other things he’s said and done in the past… This dialogue just hurts.
There’s been small moments here and there that made me think Lilia has kind of an unhealthy(?) or warped(?) view of love. I’m not sure what the best word for it is, but I’ve noticed that he doesn’t like people worrying over him, he doesn’t like emotional farewells/sappiness, and he really doesn’t like letting others see him when he’s weak. Additionally, he seems to value himself very little – he doesn’t think people would be worried about him if he were in danger, or that people would be happy getting pictures of him, or that his departure in Book 7 would hurt those around him so much. I’ll go ahead and put examples for each point so you all can understand better what I’m trying to say.
He doesn’t like people worrying about him
We can see this partly from the quote this whole post is based on, as well as from Book 7.
Based on his conversation with Riddle, Lilia’s way of thinking appears to be:
If someone trusts me -> that means they wouldn’t worry about me
As well as:
If someone worries about me -> that means they don’t trust me
But we do worry about the people we love and care about, don’t we? We worry about our spouses getting home safely from a business trip, and our kids making friends at school, and our friends acing the interview they’ve been practicing for because we love them, don’t we? And because we want the best for them. But it doesn’t seem like Lilia thinks the same way.
And to add onto this point, it’s very clear the boys do worry about Lilia a lot, contrary to what Lilia claims. Due to Lilia’s departure, Malleus brought a snowstorm to the island in his sadness, Silver considered dropping out of school and leaving with his father, only to end up breaking down and crying in front of their crown prince of all people, and Sebek used his one wish to make Lilia be healthy and have him stay with Silver forever. They were all worried terribly about him in their own ways, but it doesn’t seem like Lilia ever noticed (or maybe he did, and just didn’t want to bring it up for some reason. Who knows.)
At any rate, he also gets mad (well, more like tsundere lol) at Silver when the boy was on the verge of tears after Lilia took a nasty hit for him. (I know this exchange occurred with General Vanrouge, and he was quite the asshole back then, but he’s still retained that dislike for people worrying over him.)
Lilia: Oh, would you quit it with the sniveling. I drank the potion, didn’t I? I just to rest for a little bit, and then I’ll be good as new.
He doesn’t like emotional farewells/sappiness
He exhibits his distaste of sappiness in Book 7 and the Welcome to Tsumsted Wonderland 2 event. In the latter, when everyone is saying goodbye to their tsums, he mentions he doesn’t like the gloomy atmosphere. He wants goodbyes to be happy (and most likely, free of any emotional weight). The same can be said in Book 7, when he wholeheartedly agrees to the going away party the students wanted to put on for him, as well as when Silver mentions his father had wanted them all to send him off with a smile. I’m not sure if Lilia just doesn’t enjoy people getting serious with their emotions towards him, or if he doesn’t like seeing it in general. It gives me Macho Man (tm) vibes, kind of? Like, “don’t let people see you cry and feel sad because then you look weak” kind of thing but idk.
Lilia: Farewells are certainly sorrowful, but I hate leaving things on such a gloomy note. Let’s keep our chins up until the end. Tsum, your ability to surprise others was exceptional, and you made today so much fun. So long!
He really doesn’t like letting others see him when he’s weak
There’s still a lot of loose ends to be resolved in Book 7, one of them being the full extent of Lilia’s motives for wanting to leave so suddenly. It does seem to be he’s telling the truth that his magic ran out early, since he couldn’t muster up enough strength to fight back against Malleus when he was about to Overblot, but we don’t know if the real reason for that is just because he “went a little to wild” in his youth, like he claimed, or if something else caused his magic to deplete so prematurely. But we did hear him reveal a little bit of his motives when he was talking to Floyd at the party.
Floyd was dismayed he never got a chance to fight Lilia, and he wished he could’ve seen Lilia go all out at least once. When he asks Lilia why he’s dropping out, Lilia says under his breathe that he didn’t want “them” to see him so weak.
Lilia (whispering to himself): …It’s because I didn’t want them to see me so feeble.
Regardless of why his magic ran out and why he wants to go the Land of Red Dragons of all places, we know part of the reason for his departure is because he doesn’t want Malleus and the others to see how far he’d fallen from his former military glory. (sidebar: I have a feeling he thought he’d be a burden on Silver and co. with him losing his magic, and he was trying to leave so quickly to escape his shame towards his rapid loss of strength and independence (I imagine since he’s a magical being who comes from a country that runs on magic, him losing his powers must feel very isolating and limiting, like he’s lost a lot of the control he used to have over his own life).)
He doesn’t think people would be worried about him if he were in danger
In Endless Halloween/Spectral Soiree, Lilia was surprised by how much Silver and the others had been worrying about him and Malleus when they disappeared. Interestingly, even though Lilia is the one that Silver was the most relieved to see (it’s hard to tell with the live 2d models, but it looked like he went up to hug? Lilia and Lilia slapped his hand away), Lilia later says “I didn’t think you’d be so worried about us.” (referring to himself and the others involved with the party shenanigans).
(I am aware they changed this line to “I didn’t think you’d be so worried about me” In TWST EN, but I’m just focusing on the JP version).
I just found it weird that even though Silver was very clearly worried about Lilia the most, Lilia kind of redirected Silver’s concern over from “Lilia” to “Lilia and everyone else”. Did it make him uncomfortable to hear Silver was that worried about him? I’m not sure, but it just stood out to me as being a little strange how he responded, and how surprised he was that his own son would get worried about him suddenly disappearing.
He didn’t think people would be happy getting pictures of him
At the end of Lilia’s Tamashina Mina vignette, Yuu stops by Diasomnia to give him some photos he’d taken of Lilia on their trip, and Sebek, Silver, and Malleus are delighted to see them, since it’s not often they get to see photos of Lilia. Lilia is surprised at how happy they are to receive those pictures of himself. But why wouldn’t they be happy? They love him and treasure him dearly, of course they’d be overjoyed to have pictures of him to remember him by. It’s like he thought they wouldn’t care about him that much, which is really bizarre, considering the whole “even if we’re not related by blood we’re still family” thing he told Malleus before.
Lilia: To think, you’d all be so delighted just to see some pictures of me. I never would’ve imagined you’d all react like this.
He didn’t think his departure in Book 7 would hurt those around him so much
This relates back to what I mentioned in the first point, but there’s one scene that demonstrates this perfectly.
After Silver breaks down in front of Malleus, Malleus teleports both of them to Lilia’s going away party. All eyes should have been on Malleus with how strangely he was acting, but the first thing Lilia honed in on was that Silver had been crying. And not only that, but Lilia looked surprised that Silver had been crying. And why wouldn’t he cry? The one person who formed Silver’s entire world and sun and stars was about to leave him and go die all by himself on the other side of the planet. There is no reason Lilia should’ve been surprised at Silver’s tears, yet he was. And I gather that’s because he never thought the boy could ever possibly want to choose to stay by his side, to choose him over all the hopes and dreams he’d burdened on the poor child from the moment he could walk, to choose him over his real friends and his real family members.
I hope when Lilia “wakes up” from his dream, the first he does is ask Silver what he’d been crying about back at the party. And I pray to god they will actually talk things out and Lilia will finally apologize for how much of a complete idiot he’s been acting.
My headache’s coming back so to wrap this up quickly, my current understanding of Lilia Vanrouge is that he either doesn’t realize just how loved and cherished he is by his family members, or that he does realize it and just pretends not to. If it’s the latter, which is what I personally lean towards, I think he does this as a means to protect himself.
He’s already lost so many of his loved ones, and he very well may be putting up these walls around his heart and pushing away the people who love him just so he doesn’t have to get hurt again. We don’t know how he became an orphan, but his birth family either gave him up or passed away and left him behind. Even when Queen Maleficia took him in, he was always made the scapegoat for the princess’s schemes, and it sounded like he was brought up more as Levan and Mallenoa’s inferior than their equal. And then war struck their nation. And then his one best friend went missing and the other one probably gave up her life trying to protect the very child who'd go on to shatter the ice surrounding his wounded heart.
Perhaps with Malleus and Silver and Sebek now, he thought his best option would be to exit their lives before they had a chance to do the same to him, because he knew they would do the same to him. Everyone does.
As a final note, I still keep going to back to what he said in Cater’s Halloween vignette. I think this one line sums up his views of love better than I ever could:
“But the more precious a bond is, the more pain it can inflict.”
(source)
#lilia vanrouge#twst silver#twst theory#twst#twisted wonderland#twst spoilers#twst analysis#not really a theory or anything more like its just me babbling but yeah
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i need more raider joel more than i need air in my lungs
Night air.
3500 words, raider!Joel x f!reader | ✨gif
Raider master list ⭐ Joel master
reader-curated playlist | sweet pea (smut songs)
“‘s’too cold out here, sweet pea. put on a shirt, would ya?" Your heart flutters at the implicit invitation and you return with a flannel over your nightie. . . He makes room for you, but doesn’t take his eyes off the fire as he lets you climb into his lap. You study his face and see something new flickering behind it. Worry.
You want to ask him what’s wrong, but you don’t. "When are you gonna come to bed?” you ask instead.
SUMMARY: Joel brutalizes a bad guy, gives it to you hard, then works on something for you and gives it to you slow. His POV is revealing. WARNINGS: I8+, POV alternates, ANGST, Joel's trauma, overkill violence, dubcon (stockholm syndrome) unsafe P in V x2 (hard then soft), dark fluff, f masturbation, somnophilia, staying inside, NO Y/N. A/N: ty @milla-frenchy for Qs & recs 🖤
—--- JOEL——
Yeah, Joel killed two of his own men, and they had it coming. He caught them red handed on their way into your room in the stash house. It still makes his blood boil to think about. If they hadn’t walked into that room talking about you like a piece of meat, those two men would be alive. Joel would do it again in a heartbeat.
He’s not surprised when the others are shaken, but if they’re good men, they have nothing to worry about. When things remain tense longer than he expects, Joel rounds them up for a group meeting. He puts you in the usual room with his trusted guard Carter posted at the door. The meeting becomes heated.
“No one’s gonna be left at this rate,” one man barks. “They ain’t gonna say it,” he gestures behind him to the other men, “but I will. She shouldn’t be here.”
Joel’s voice raises with his blood pressure. He asks, “What’d you say to me, Harold?" as he stands up.
Louder, maybe loud enough for you to hear, Harold repeats, “She shouldn’t be here. It’s bound to happen.” Bound to happen? These low-lifes are bound to put their hands on Joel Miller’s girl? Joel can feel the beat of his rage in his veins. All his muscles tense.
He takes a deep breath, exhales sharply, then says matter-of-factly, “I’ll show ya what else is bound to happen.”
Joel picks up his rifle.
"Yeah, kill me," Harold chides. "Kill us all."
Joel shakes his head no. His voice is deep and flat. "Not until ya beg me to." Now he’s gotta make an example out of someone.
Joel forces Harold outside, then puts his rifle behind his back and lets Harold take a swing at him, just for fun. When Joel gets this wound up, he needs to feel something. After getting clocked square in the jaw, Joel beats him until he’s barely conscious. Then, Joel hoists Harold, who is not a light man, and impales him on a sharp, severed fence post.
Joel puts his rifle around front again, leaving Harold alive but doomed, and heads back toward the house. He’s almost to the door when Harold manages to groan through his gurgles. Joel turns around, calmly raises his rifle, shoots him in the head, then keeps walking. He goes back inside, chest heaving, wiping blood splatter off his face with his wrist. The rest of them are still inside. No one came to Harold's defense or ran. Joel stares down the men, and based on the faces he sees, he’s not worried about any of them.
“Rest of ya got nothin’ to worry ‘bout,” he reassures them. “long as ya leave her ‘lone.”
The men nod. Joel thinks about adding, and I’m not the only one you’ve gotta worry about, tempted to warn them that you know your way around a pistol and can handle yourself. One bullet, right between the eyes of that fucker. Joel thinks about it all the time. There’s something about his little sweet pea being a badass. And thank god, because he almost lost you.
“Now back to business.”
They discuss the rival crew they think sent two guys to Joel’s trailer, only for Joel and you to kill them. Joel doesn't think the crew is stupid enough to cause any more trouble, but agrees someone has to keep watch Just in case.
Joel almost reminds his men that he holds all the smuggling routes and contacts, just in case they’re concerned enough to pull something. But he doesn't need to say it. He dismisses them and grabs a duffle bag before collecting you from Carter. Carter asks what to do with Harold, and Joel says leave him for a while.
–
When the two of you get back to his trailer, Joel is ready to fuck out his anger. He sees himself in the mirror, chest heaving, veins about to pop, blood splatter on his hairline. God damnit, Harold. Joel showers because he doesn’t want any part of Harold getting close to you. Not even his blood.
You’re in the kitchen getting a glass of water when Joel walks out of the bathroom in just a towel. He crosses the kitchen, drops the towel, and pins you against the counter, pressing his hardness against your ass. He backs up enough to scrunch up your dress and growls, "good girl," when he finds you panty-less and wet. You knew. You were ready for it.
He grunts as he shoves himself into you, and he gives it to you good. "No one’s," he thrusts, "gonna," he grunts "touch ya." He plunges into you twice more, breathing heavily, then adds, “but me.” The power of his hips sends you to your toes with each thrust. He wraps an arm around you to hold you steady and watches over your shoulder as your tits jiggle with each punch of his hips. It doesn’t take you long to come. Then he curls his hands under your arms to hold your shoulders down from the front and begins to pulse with a low groan. He leans his head against yours and cradles it from the other side as he catches his breath, then asks, “you good?”
You nod, “mm-hmm,” and he pulls out, feeling better.
“Good.”
-
In the following days, things settle down in Joel’s group and get back to normal. The rival crew doesn't show up.
—--
One night, Joel leaves you inside the trailer while he sits out by the fire, as he often does. What you don't know is that he's not just sitting, drinking, and thinking. He’s working on something. He’s been making things for you. He hasn’t given you anything because nothing’s good enough, and it’s probably not going to get any better, but he keeps doing it. Sometimes he feels a little silly, but they’re things that will help both of you. Practical things.
He made a thigh holster for your gun. There was an old one without the straps in the weapons cache which is just a small room of chaos in the stash house, no telling what else is in there. He used part of a belt for the top strap and some black ribbon on the bottom, for the time being. It would be better than nothing, but he hasn't given it to you in case it wouldn’t work. Maybe it doesn't matter. As the weather changes, you'll probably need new clothes, anyway. Maybe even pants, he internally grumbles. Sweaters, too, so your chest won’t be exposed.
Tonight, Joel has another strap of leather with him, one that wasn't right for the holster. He also has a pot of water and a steel nail with a makeshift handle so he doesn’t burn himself. He heats up the tool and uses the hot nail head to emboss the strap with bold letters. He’s been working on it all week, and he’s only on ‘E.’ It’ll be first name only at this rate. You might not wanna wear it anyway, but it’s for your own good.
Joel’s almost lost you twice now. If there’s anything he can do to make someone think twice about touching or taking you, he’ll do it. Because Jackson, may he burn in hell, was right. Joel can’t have his eyes on you every single second. He's told you before: you tell’em you belong to Joel Miller. They’ll back right off when they hear it. But it doesn’t hurt for them to see it, too. And of course Joel wouldn't mind seeing it himself.
Joel’s fingers are too big for work this small. He accidentally makes the vertical line of the E slanted. Ah hell, this whole thing is no good anyway. You may never see it at this rate. But it feels good working with his hands, especially on something he thinks could help keep you safe and keep you his. You're a good girl, his good girl.
He should be thinking strategy, what’s going to happen with these warring crews, but that’s just not where his head’s at.
—--- YOU 🌸🫛—-----
You listen to the fire crackle and pop, longing for Joel to come to bed, longing for him to hold you, and more. He seems to stay outside longer than usual. When he adds a new log to the fire, you get impatient and decide to go out. You put on your shoes and go to the door, pushing it open just an inch. The rail to the stairs is blocking your view, but he's looking down at something. His jaw clenches in the firelight and he raises his eyebrows as he looks up. You slowly open the door, stepping out onto the stairs in your nightie. He puts something down on the ground, out of view.
“‘s’too cold out here, sweet pea. put on a shirt, would ya?" Your heart flutters at the implicit invitation and you return with a flannel over your nightie. As you approach, he takes a swig of whiskey and puts the flask down. His eyes are dark as he watches the flames. He makes room for you but doesn’t take his eyes off the fire as he lets you climb into his lap. You study his face and see something new flickering behind it. Worry. You want to ask him what’s wrong, but you don’t.
"When are you gonna come to bed?” you ask.
His brows knit as he looks at you. For a few seconds, he concentrates on picking lint off the flannel and smoothing your nightgown.
“I dunno, sweet pea. Got some stuff to figure out.”
“Can I help?”
He shakes his head no. You put your arms around his neck and rest your cheek against his shoulder. Then you slowly roll your face against him so your lips touch his warm skin and your nose rests on top of his shoulder muscle. You close your eyes and stay like that for a moment. He doesn’t stop you. Then you dare to press your lips ever so slightly into his skin before pulling your face back to look at him, your lips disconnecting with a barely perceptible smack. Joel’s still looking at the fire, but he allows himself a subtle smile as he exhales a silent laugh, then cradles your head. “Go to bed, sweet pea.” He kisses your temple. “I’ll be there in a li’l bit.”
You take the flannel off and get in bed, still smelling like the fire. You think of getting naked, eager to feel Joel however he wants you. But maybe he likes undressing you, and it’s chillier than normal, too. You lay under the covers getting wet and tingly thinking about what he'll do when he comes to bed.
The fire is still blazing. There’s no sign of him putting it out. It doesn't seem like he's coming in soon, but you're too turned on to just go to sleep. You close your eyes, recalling the feeling of Joel’s warm skin on your lips by the fire. The way his eyes sparkled. The way he always opens his arms for you to get in his lap–that seat is always yours whenever you want it.
You think about how handsome he is. Even, or especially when he’s looking rough. All dirty and beat up when he got home that one night, muscles pumped up. His sexy stitches. You play a montage in your head of all the times you’ve heard him yell, seen him stomp around ordering guys to do this or that. How fiercely he protects you. Your lip creeps under your teeth and you close your eyes.
All the way turned on, you slide your hand down between your legs and imagine him walking in and ravaging you. You recall how urgently he fucked you at the kitchen table after he thought you almost died. You recall the time he fucked you naked in missionary and and marked your neck. You try to visualize the look in his eyes.
And then, when you’re just about to come, you remember that one morning. Those few seconds you kissed, when he kissed you back. He had pulled you into him before he knew what he was doing. You still savor that fleeting moment he was grinding against you, his plush lips locked with yours. You can practically feel it. And that’s enough to put you over the edge. You turn your head into the pillow and brace for your orgasm.
—----- JOEL —------
You must think Joel can't hear your pretty little sounds when you touch yourself, but over the crackling of the fire he could swear he hears you moan into a pillow. His nose can't help but twitch into a little smile. He lets the fire die as he finishes the 'E', then he comes inside and washes off the smoke in the shower. By the time he gets in bed, you're asleep on your back with your left arm on your chest.
He carefully gets into the bed, spreading his weight out to not jostle the mattress. He's to your left, lying on his side, facing you. You’re so pretty and peaceful with your eyes closed and your sweet lips just slightly parted. An urge has been growing in his chest. He’s tried to push it away, but it's only grown, and he's afraid he can’t stop it happening.
He can’t bring himself to do it when you’re awake. He can’t let himself see how happy it makes you. The loss feels inevitable, and it gets closer and closer. The panic he felt when FEDRA had you on the ground. The devastation when it sounded like you were shot outside his own trailer. It gets worse every time. And last time, there was something new. Two losses flashed before his eyes. The loss of you (in the present and future), and the loss of what could have been–at least for a while, when he had the chance. The worst part is, he doesn't know which would hurt more.
His eyes fall on your mouth again.
If he does it now, it won’t mean anything. It won’t change anything. If he does it now, maybe this urge will stop pulling at him every time you’re close. And then he can tell himself it never happened. Yeah, if he does it now, it can be like it never happened. Like he never let himself get that close, never gave you hope that he could be anything more than the terrible man he is.
His lip twitches as he watches you sleep. Then his breathing syncs with yours, and for a moment, everything fades away but you and him and the physical need that's tugging at him.
Joel leans over you, careful not to wake you, and he hovers over your pretty face. It's happening. His heart races as his face drifts toward yours, drawn to you like a magnet.
He closes his eyes, presses his lips gently into yours, and something rushes through his blood to every part of his body. Fuck. He's instantly soothed. With your lips still locked, he takes one breath through his nose then pulls away. He takes a deep breath, expecting the buzz to fade, expecting to hate himself. But you're so pretty and your lips were so soft. He almost chokes on his own saliva. He's quickly gotten hard.
Still fast asleep, you sigh and your nose twitches. You hum the prettiest little "mm," and roll over on your right, facing away from him like you normally sleep.
He pinches his eyes shut tight. He has to have you.
–
Joel curls himself around you, inhales your hair, and cups your breast. He presses his cock against you, hardening to full strength by now. He lets out a deep but quiet, "Mmm," not enough to wake you up. The exposed skin of your back and shoulder is so inviting, he's salivating. His arm slides from your breast down your nightie to your mound and you sigh. He lifts his head to see if you're awake as he aimlessly caresses you over your nightie. Your brow furrows with his light touch. Aw, sweet pea, he thinks to himself. You're just so cute. He presses a gentle kiss into your neck where it meets your shoulder, and he begins to ghost your clit through the fabric.
You sigh again, but still don't seem to wake up yet. He presses your mound so your hips tilt for him, and he pulls up the nightgown. He tests you with a finger and finds you wet but pulls back and pauses to add saliva to his tip. He teases your entrance with his cock, and you sigh "Mmm, Joel," as you begin to stir awake. He pushes the curve of his tip just slightly inside, then holds your breast.
He asks, “You 'wake?”
“Mmm,” you answer weakly.
"wake you up?" His cock prods at your tight, wet entrance, pushing in a little further.. He's itching to be inside you, but he's taking his time, captivated by your peacefulness.
Your spine arches and you push back on him, taking another inch of his cock in with a moan as you stir awake. "Joel,” you sigh.
He presses his lips into your neck and lets them linger. You ask, "are you awake?"
"Mm-hmm," he answers, his voice deep and gravely. He groans softly as he pushes his cock into you. He takes a deep breath as your insides make room for him. It dawns on him that he's never taken the time to savor the moment your bodies are joined, but shit, it feels good. He didn't know it could feel so good like this. He’s feeling every groove of you in slow motion. Each centimeter of you greets him with a tight, warm hug. You push back on him with a moan, bringing your bodies together.
Oh, sweet pea. You want it so bad, and you take it so good.
—---YOU 🌸🫛—---
Joel’s cock spreads you apart and he buries his length in you slowly at first, palming your breasts. He pauses, all the way inside you, and removes your nightie so your naked bodies are flush. It feels like a dream. The way he kissed your shoulder, the way he’s fucking you right now with his whole body cradling yours, each thrust so deliberate, you can’t help but still wonder if he’s truly awake. If you're truly awake. He grunts softly each time he bottoms out. His sighs and moans are deep and gravely.
“Sweet pea,” he whispers against your neck, “ohhhh, you — ohh, you take it so good, baby.” His hand slides down your stomach, between your legs. He whispers in your ear, "God DAMN, youfeelsogood,” he inhales sharply, then sighs your name. Your nipples harden and you get goosebumps.
“Joel,” you whimper at his fingers on your clit. The fullness of his cock was enough, and the addition of his hand has you twitching already.
“Shhh, it’s okay,” he whispers, and his voice is so soothing, you relax again. He slows down his pace, his length sliding snugly into your warmth slow enough to feel the drag of his tip inside you. He touches your clit and you whimper again. He adjusts his hand to touch it less directly, pulsing his flattened fingers. That’s what you need. You moan.
“Good girl.”
You wanna ask him again if he’s really awake, but you don’t want to break the spell. You let the silence linger, peppered with moans and sighs from each of you. You’d love for this to last forever. You love every way he gives it to you, but the newness of this is something to savor. After a few minutes, sweat begins to bead and run between your bodies. You’re both breathing heavily. He gropes at your breasts and the entire front of your body, like he can’t get you close enough. His breathing gets ragged. You memorize the feel of his cock dragging thick and slow inside you. Then he adds his hand again. His thrusts become more powerful. “Come for me, I want you to– nnngh.”
“Joel,” you whine.
‘Ohh,” he moans.
“Joel, I’m–”
“Go ‘head, baby—ugghh—-you can do it”
Your upper back presses into his chest. He groans and holds you tight as you convulse against him and choke his cock with your climax. “Ohhhh, baby, mmmm.” He bottoms out and pulses inside you as you’re still coming. He sighs "ohhh," as he fills you up with his warm release. Your body hugs him more with every pulse of his cock.
When you’re both finished coming, your bodies are still joined. You relish the fullness of him inside you. You expect him to pull out any minute, but his breathing regulates with yours.
At some point, Joel's breath stutters abruptly, and you realize he's fallen asleep like this. Holding you close, body curled around you, cock gradually softening inside you. It isn't long until you drift off, too.
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Smut continues here: asleep inside
Next major chapter: hunger
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Thank you so much for reading and engaging. Please consider commenting or reblogging to show raider Joel your love, even if this post is old. 💖 Love you guys. I love your passion for him. Your engagement motivates me. <333
Friendly reminder that there will be no pregnancy in this fic, Joel was snipped pre outbreak.
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@toxicfics for notifications, make sure your phone is set to enable push notifications from tumblr. Some of my fics are pretty dark!
⚠️ Since so many people are saying tags aren't working, I may discontinue the tag list soon, sorry ⚠️
All Joel:@ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose @fandomsfallnomore @djarinxore @blackvelveteen1339 @manazo @wolvesandvampires @taeslarityy @str84pedro @lokanda @kyloispunk @filthfairy @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles @harriedandharassed @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy @cutesyscreenname @weddingfairy @pedropascal-whore @spideysimpossiblegirl @feministfanboi @gracieispunk @prettypartyfavor @am-3-thyst @babeincolor @milla-frenchy @switchbladedreamz @within-the-depths @am-3-thyst @may-machin @pedromania91 @sloanexx @paleidiot @yourmistysecret @bean-is-reading
#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#raider!joel miller#raider!joel#toxicanonymity ☠️#raider!joel☠️#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x f!reader#tw violence#joel miller angst#joel x reader#joel miller fic#tlou joel#tlou smut#raider joel#dark!joel miller#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal characters
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josh washington romantic headcanons
be soft on me, it’s my first post.
1. His humor as both a weapon and a shield
Josh isn’t the type to confess his feelings outright, but he uses his sarcastic humor and jokes to show he cares. If you’re having a bad day, he might say something like:
“Oh, so the drama queen decided to bless us with her depressed presence? Well, put me on your throne, because I’m about to save the day.”
While he’s trying to make you smile, there’s an underlying sincerity: he hates seeing you down, even if he can’t admit it directly. I mean, how’s the light of his life gonna be sad? Then what’s expecting to him.
2. His unexpected gestures
Josh isn’t openly romantic, but he has his own way of showing he’s thinking about you.
For example, he might text you at 3 a.m. with a dumb meme he knows will make you laugh or show up at your door with your favorite snack, saying:
“It’s not like I’m obsessed with you or anything… but I saw this and thought of you, ‘kay?”
He plays it off as casual, but the truth is he planned it more than he lets on.
3. The weight of his vulnerability
While Josh tends to hide what he’s feeling, when he’s with you and feels safe, his mask slips. One night, after a particularly bad day, he might say:
“Sometimes I feel like I’m… messed up in ways no one else gets. But with you, I don’t know, it’s like I get a break from all that. Thanks for not running away yet.”
He doesn’t expect you to fix him with words; what he needs most in those moments is your presence and understanding.
4. His idea of a “perfect date”
Josh isn’t the kind of guy who plans extravagant dates.
He prefers something simple but meaningful: a late-night walk somewhere secluded, an afternoon showing you weird movies he loves, or just staying in while you work on something creative together. He’d say something like:
“We could hit the fanciest restaurant in town, but let’s be real, the real art is in these burned popcorns I made for you.”
5. His fear of being abandoned
Josh constantly struggles with the fear that the people close to him will leave—especially you.
He doesn’t always say it outright, but you notice it in small things: how he seeks reassurance that you’re okay with him, how he avoids certain topics, or how he insists on making you laugh even when he’s clearly not okay. If you ever call him out on it, he might say:
“I’m not saying you have to stay with me, but… if you do, I can’t promise it’ll be easy. Just that I’ll try, alright?”
6. His awkward but tender touches
Josh isn’t naturally smooth when it comes to physical affection.
At first, his hugs might feel a little stiff, and his attempts to hold your hand might be clumsy.
But over time, his gestures become more natural. If you ever rest your head on his lap, you might hear him murmur:
“You know my legs are falling asleep, right? But don’t move. I don’t mind.”
7. How he talks about you when you’re not around
While he wouldn’t say it to your face, when he’s with his friends, he can’t help but brag about you indirectly. “Oh, guess who had the brilliant idea to drag me to that movie? Yeah, my girl obviously. Always has the best ideas.”
His friends know he’s crazy about you, but he prefers to keep a laid-back attitude… even if his expression totally gives him away.
8. His way of apologizing
Josh doesn’t always handle his emotions well and can sometimes be impulsive or say something hurtful without realizing it.
However, when he knows he’s messed up, he won’t just let it go. He might show up at your place with an unconventional apology, like a bag of your favorite candy and a note that says:
“I know I was an ass. This doesn’t fix it, but it’s a good start, right?”
It may sound lighthearted, but his regret is genuine, and he’ll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust.
genevieve out, xoxo.
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