#i’d say i’m sorry but i’m not

[themoon-andits-stars]

honestly? thinking about Kevin Day in those slutty little exy shorts.

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

More Moose-centric OJV headcanons bc I love that cat.

-so Stan, post college grad and working up the courage to actually put his degree to use (mans self doubt is beatin his ass), is volunteering at the local animal shelter, when someone brings a cardboard box to the front desk.

- they’re like “hey someone left this outside my building, I can’t really have a pet rn” and Stan looks in the box to see the TINIEST little brown cat looking up at him with big sad eyes and he just starts SOBBING.

- immediately decides that this kitten is coming home with him, tells the shelter owner he’s leaving early and BOOKS IT home, got the cat wrapped up in his jacket in the passenger seat, seat warmer on, and Stan’s talking to him still crying a little. The thing is, this boy’s been going through a really tough time and he’s been reading children’s books to comfort himself, so he has “Thidwick The Big Hearted Moose” by dr Seuss on the brain, so he’s like HOLY SHIT IM CALLING YOU MOOSE! And Moose is just vibin he’s a real good cat

- they get home and Stan realizes he didn’t tell Kyle (adhd boy moment) bc he was too excited so he’s FULLY expecting Ky to be mad at him for bringing a pet home spontaneously, but Kyle is JUST AS HAPPY AS HE IS!!! And later that night, when Kyle thinks Stan’s out of earshot, he’s whispering to Moose, thanking him for making Stan smile again askfhdjwl

- bringing Moose to the vet clinic where Wendy works to get his shots and a checkup gives Stan a push to actually apply there, and everyone there LOVES that cat, like Wendy’s facetiming Bebe (they’re married at this point btw) to show her and Stan has a job working with animals now, like Moose really pulled him out of a SadSack slump shout-out to Moose!

-Moose’s favorite spot in the WORLD is Kyle’s chest, like Ky cannot lay down anywhere without him curling up in the divot of his sternum, ESPECIALLY if he senses that something’s wrong. Like when Kyle’s sick or having a bad pain day, Moose is there purring like a lawn mower directly over his heart.

-that cat is spoiled as HELL like I’m talkin everyone who meets him falls immediately in love bc he’s so sweet and so little even years later, he’s also intuitive as fuck and a natural emotional support animal. Kenny builds him a sickass cat tree, if he wants some of whatever the boys are eating all he has to do is rub his little head on their hand and (as long as it won’t make him sick) he gets a bite lmao. He wants picked up? He gets picked up. And everyone knows Kyle Broflovski cannot say no to Big Sad Blue Eyes and Moose is no exception to that ajsgdkwjdk. When Craig and Tweek meet Moose, he LOVES Craig bc he’s quiet and calm and that connection helps crog get over his friendship barrier with Stan. Tweek is nervous around animals but eventually falls in love with Moose too.

- he’s a pretty chill cat, doesn’t yowl in the middle of the night or cause problems, doesn’t bite or scratch even playfully. Occasionally he’ll get suspicious when Stan comes home from work smelling like other animals, but he’s used to it. His zoomies are HILARIOUS but he’s a total crybaby when he gets stuck on top of a door or something and needs help getting down. Once he got himself on top of the kitchen cabinets while Stan wasn’t home, Kyle couldn’t reach him and his stubborn ass didn’t want to go across the hall to get Craig so he climbed onto the counter, fell and aggravated his bad knee, and Moose would NOT leave his side for days after. Moose still got himself stuck in the same place the next week.

-he loves to go on walks! He has a little red harness and WEARS LITTLE CAT SIZED SWEATERS IN THE WINTER!!! The three of them 100% do holiday cards In matching outfits oh my god.

- Moose likes to sit in the windowsill in the home office and *ekekeke* at birds it’s the funniest shit ever.

-he’s very good on car rides except when Kyle’s driving because that man gets horrible road rage and Moose is all oh ok dads mad that means something is Wrong everyone panic and he’s yelling and bouncing around the car and it’s funny but it’s really not bc ~danger~ and yeah if Kyle’s driving Moose is in the carrier lmao.

- is a MODEL patient at the vet (partly bc his dad is the vet in question and he trusts Stan with his whole tiny heart)

-oh my god ok so Stan’s AA chapter has a lot of people who bring their pets to meetings and whenever he brings Moose in everyone is SHOWERING him with attention it’s so cute all the old timers are all “that’s a good cat right there he takes a pet no problem” and he’s wandering the meeting hall saying hi to everyone social king!

- Moose has never met a person he hates. Except Randy. Moose hates Randy.

[silveny-dreams]

Me, reading Rayni rehash how the Neverseen operate on everyone only knowing exactly what they need to know and nothing else: you mean like Marvel

[woundedheartwithin]

I’ve got 14 gifsets set for twice a day of the same fucking guy lmfao

[sentientsky]

breaking news: local divorced not-man is having a terrible fucking time

[theminecraftbee]

see okay. the thing is that doc is in no way the aggressor this go-around. like from day one, it’s been the buttercups antagonizing doc, leading him to strike back. the PROBLEM is that doc overreacts so wildly and threatens such wildly disproportionate retribution that it’s really, really funny to watch him get vinced because he’s trying to play 4D chess and his opponents are busy eating checkers. like it’s really, REALLY funny. like in a karma sense doc deserves none of this but in a COMEDY sense please. please I want to see him have another breakdown over motivational quotes and the stupidity of the average grian. please,

[yaralulu]

so glad i was reminded of this scene so i could be insufferable about it

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

“we can have a candlelight vigil like lesbians on the news!!!” episode 2 and annie “girlkisser” edison is already longing for bits of that wlw lifestyle. I know what you are

[rosesradio]

spin this wheel & get a random pjo/hoo character

*i’m aware a good half of these characters are minors but i still wanted to do this trend. replace ‘fuck’ with whatever makes you comfortable idc. anyone who yells at me about this has no father figure 🚬

[kal0ps1aa]

ok i’ve been normal for long enough, shitpost time

planning on doing more of these + sm for other mysmes charas

[rancidsugar]

[that-sarcastic-writer]

I just watched the new crow. And guess what??? I fucking liked it. No spoilers here but it was NOTHING like the original. Not one bit was taken from the original and replicated. It was a completely different story. And guess what? I still love the original to pieces. I still love Brandon as Eric. But also guess what? I enjoyed how Bill made it his own. It didn’t feel like a copy. It felt like a different version, with a different story. And that’s okay. The original is still awesome and super iconic. But news flash, the new one isn’t shit just bc it’s called The Crow 2024. Maybe give reboots a chance before shitting on it. The original came out in 1990. That’s 34 fucking years ago. That’s a whole generation right there. Y’all act like reboots and remakes haven’t existed since the beginning of the film industry. Some are bad and a cash grab, and some are actually kinda cool and have its own thing going. I think this one has its own tone just like the original had its very distinct aesthetic and tone.

Yes I liked it. So what. If I didn’t I would say so. I went into it expecting nothing, if anything I expected to be trash and nonsensical, but no. Everything made sense, it had a pretty cohesive story and gave a different and darker (like metaphorically not literal, nothing can be darker than the original) telling of the story and Eric’s character. And that’s okay. Let’s just learn to watch and enjoy some movies without blindly hating on them just because it’s cool to.

[wifegideonnav]

reason 1927363 that i love the locked tomb characters is because none of them are fucking cool. yes they all have their moments. but all of them are deeply incurably cringe at their core. representation matters yknow? finally someone brave enough to say that lame girls can be protagonists too

[thelilylav]

I’ve gotta admit as much as I know Darabella is a flawed ship (and some of the ppl who are anti for it have legit criticisms I love y’all for pointing it out cause it frustrates the hell out of me too trust) they’ll always just kind of be it for me.

Because as much as it was an “I can fix him” trope, as much as Rosabella could be selfish and Daring’s flaws got cranked up to 1000, she was also the first person to look at him after his destiny, the thing he dedicated his life to, failed, when people were questioning him as a prince and putting pressure on his and Apple’s relationship and tell him that, like, maybe it would be alright? Maybe this wasn’t his destiny, and maybe that was okay.

And the part that really gets me? She’s the first person after this happens to tell him that it doesn’t matter what’s on the outside, which as much as you can like other Daring ships or him whatever he desperately needed to hear. Not even cause he was selfish, that’s not what I’m saying, but bc he placed his whole identity on this image that people concocted for him based on him appearing the perfect prince. He was handsome, he was talented, and he was handsome! So who cares about him as a person?

Idk man. You spend four seasons (I watch the specials on Netflix so that’s why four idk if it’s three to some ppl or whatever tho) watching him be praised for his looks, watching girls fawn over him, and of course he enjoys it so nobody really questions how much he enjoys it. And then you get this girl, this girl who owes him nothing, this girl who (contrary to popular belief apparently) has a life of her own and people she cares about outside of him, and she’s nice to him. And she’s the first person after everything happens to just be nice to him, for the sake of being nice. Something about that will always hit different for me

[paimonial-rage]

talks of the past - zhongli

ship: zhongli x reader

synopsis: in which the wangsheng funeral parlor’s consultant tries to restore your faith in rex lapis

notes: 1.7k words, chapter 7 of bookkeeping!verse; with ties to various chapters in the series

It was yet another day you found yourself traveling with Zhongli to Qingce Village. Objectively speaking, it was a beautiful morning. The sun was high in the sky without a cloud in sight, the birds were chirping, and the temperature was nice. Really, there shouldn’t have been anything there to get you down. And yet…

There you were walking with your head down and a faraway look in your eyes. Had you been more aware, you would’ve noticed your companion speaking a few times. You would’ve seen the concerned look in his eyes as he peered down at you. But you were lost in your thoughts, uncharacteristically troubled and insecure.

If you had noticed, you would’ve felt a bit of pity for your companion. It was not often that you were seen in such a depressed state. Really, despite your temperament, you were generally alert and sociable. He often enjoyed the banter that would come about between you two. Truly, you were a dear friend to him. That being said, it wasn’t often you shared your concerns with him. He wasn’t sure if you even would if asked.

He cleared his throat.

“First, is… there anything that’s bothering you?”

It took a few moments for you to respond, almost prompting him to ask again before you let out a long sigh.

“Zhongli,” you began, looking up to him imploringly, “Can I talk to you about something?”

He couldn’t deny the slight start of his heart that came with your question. You’ve brought up your concerns to him before, but those were often accompanied with glares and opinions regarding his financial decisions. This time, however, exhaustion was evident in your voice with dark bags under your eyes. He could not recall doing anything that’d result in your loss of sleep.

“Sure,” he began, careful to keep his wariness absent.

“It’s not a big deal,” you began in a way that implied the opposite. “I’m sure you know how much I revere Rex Lapis. Even though he passed, I still greatly respect the legacy he left behind.”

“Yes,” he replied with a nod. “You’ve mentioned this to me a few times in the past.”

A bit too many, he would add. And with your way with words, it never exactly was… pleasant. At the very least, he was relieved your lack of sleep wasn’t with anything he did as Zhongli.

“It’s just… Lately, I’ve been talking to Madam Ping in my free time, and… I feel like my faith is beginning to be shaken…”

He frowned.

“‘Shaken?’ In what way?”

“I…” You bit your lip as tears welled in your eyes. “Don’t hate me for saying this, but I…”

You hesitated.

“I’m beginning to think he was actually a complete weirdo.”

A… A weirdo?

He cleared his throat, feeling if not just a little attacked.

“In what way?”

You sighed, glancing away with your guilt-ridden eyes.

“In… in every way.”

‘Every way?’

“For instance, take into account Mora…”

Of course, it had to do with Mora.

“Well, I once heard a story that Rex Lapis created the first home out of Mora. I always thought it was metaphorical or just a silly children’s tale, but… Madame Ping confirmed it to be true. When I asked her why he chose Mora, she said it simply was because it was available. He didn’t have any deeper meaning to it.”

He frowned. Ignoring the sense of déjà vu he felt regarding this specific topic, he didn’t see any problem with his actions.

“Yes, it only makes sense. To the God of Wealth and Commerce, what material is easier to get than Mora?”

“Exactly!” You exclaimed suddenly, nearly causing him to flinch. “Only a simple-minded man would come up with such a simple-minded conclusion.”

“S-Simple-minded…”

You nodded.

“Just because he had all the access in the world to Mora didn’t mean the common folk did. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to make the first model home out of materials available to everyone?”

He coughed.

“Perhaps.”

You sniffled.

“It’d be fine if that was the only thing, but Shitou from the Jade Mystery told me that once Rex Lapis stopped by his family’s shop in the past and purchased a spoon made of fine Noctilucus Jade to sample the culinary delights of Liyue Harbor.” You buried your face in your hands. “Why would he spend that much Mora just for a simple spoon?”

“W-Well…”

“I know, I know. As the God of Wealth and Commerce, he had easy access to Mora. And I’m sure it made him happy to contribute to the wealth of Liyue Harbor’s commonfolk, but for someone who spent so much time around his people, it’s like he had no concept of his own creation’s worth! It’s shamelessly extravagant! I didn’t think he was such a wasteful person…”

In the back of his mind, Zhongli had the urge to disagree, to stand up for the good name of Rex Lapis. Really, he wasn’t so shameless as you made him out to be, at least he didn’t think he was. But before he could respond, you continued.

“That’s not all though…” you started again.

Oh no.

“A while ago, I told Meng and the Ferrylady that Rex Lapis wasn’t a self-absorbed narcissist, but…”

Oh no…

“I was talking to Sir Yun the other day of the Yun-Han Opera Troupe? I always knew that Rex Lapis enjoyed the troupe’s shows, but did you know he starred in a few of them? As a warrior, she said. And as you know, Rex Lapis is known as the Warrior God. So that means he basically played himself in operas singing songs about… himself. Can you imagine doing that? How…”

Tears came to your eyes.

“Cringe.”

He resisted the urge to clear his throat.

“Though records say he may have taken part in those operas, I can’t recall Miss Yun stating he starred as himself,” he began. “The assumption he did so is mere conjecture at best.”

That last part slipped from his tongue before he could rein it back in. You never took kindly when his opinions differed from yours, and yet… Well, perhaps he was feeling if not a little attacked. The Yun-Han Opera Troupe had a long history, after all. They certainly would not be more the wiser if some tales became embellished over the years. He thought out of all people you would be more aware of that than most.

Thankfully, much to his relief, you were. Instead of taking to anger like you usually did, you nodded obediently.

“That’s true. I hope you’re right,” you replied with a hopeful smile. “Madame Ping said that not even the great Cloud Retainer watches operas about herself. It’s too embarrassing.”

He did clear his throat that time.

“I suppose not everyone enjoys hearing tales of their past,” he finally let out.

You nodded.

“I’m glad at least she agrees with me that only weird and abnormal people do things like that,” you let out with a bit of relief. “I was getting worried I’m the only person that feels that way…”

He only smiled in response, ignoring the fact that Cloud Retainer only said that it was “embarrassing,” not “weird” or “abnormal.” You really did not hesitate to deal your blows, did you?

“You know what the worst thing is, though?” You asked, looking up at him imploringly. “Legend has it that the gods are able to change their physical forms. There are even tales of Rex Lapis taking a female form. But… out of all the records, there are no depictions of his female form, only that she had amber eyes.”

Zhongli frowned in thought. Though he heard and understood your words well, he didn’t know what was the wrong in what you said. The tales of Rex Lapis were often embellished, especially in the way they painted him as the type to change his form often. The truth of the matter was far from that. Not that he could tell you that, of course. But before he could respond in any way, your eyes became filled with tears.

“I mean, he obviously didn’t mind leaving evidence of his male visage. And as I told you before, he made sure he looked good in every one of them. So if he was narcissistic enough to do that, why not leave anything behind of his female form? You… You don’t think… she was UGLY, do you?” You cried in pain.

If his brain didn’t shut down before, it definitely did then. But not noticing, you continued on.

“That’s the only reason I can come up with. Rex Lapis shares his beauty with everyone, after all, so she must have been so ugly that a narcissist like him couldn’t bear for others to see!” You sobbed.

Every word that left your mouth felt like a blow to his ego. Was this truly what you thought about him?

“So do you see why my faith has been shaken? If we try to view him as a person, Rex Lapis was a simple-minded conceited weirdo that was so ashamed of his female form he wiped any and all traces of her depiction out of existence.”

He couldn’t do this anymore.

“While the tales of the past may be rooted in truth, it’s important to realize they are only that. Tales. Nothing more. As it is, we simply do not know how much we can take as fact. So I would not let it bother you too much, First,” he stated in a matter-of-fact manner.

Though you looked as if you had more to say, you slowly nodded once, then once again with more surety.

“You’re right. I guess I’m looking far too into this. Surely if the great Rex Lapis was revered by so many, even the adepti, he must have been worthy of the respect. I just need to remember that,” you replied bashfully. “I’m sorry to have piled this all on you, Zhongli.”

He shook his head with a chuckle.

“It is alright. I am glad to be your voice of reason.”

Laughing in return, you nodded.

“Yes, thank you. And well, I guess it could be worse, I suppose. Madame Ping was always respectful to Rex Lapis in her stories. She could’ve said that he was the kind of person with… I don’t know. No common sense or something. Like could you imagine if he was the type of person that thought it was a smart idea to bring square cups instead of circle to a party?” You asked with a laugh. “Now that would be horrifying.”

……

Yes, you certainly had a way with words.

[hippolotamus]

tagged by the delightfully talented @tizniz @rewritetheending with some outstanding offerings (go check ‘em out if you haven’t) 💖

Today I’m offering some out of context mirrorball angst 🪩

“Anyway, thanks for that. Thanks for reminding me what I’m really good for.”

Any remnants of Eddie’s heart shatter in his chest. He steps forward, wanting to cling to Buck and comfort him, an instinct he isn’t sure will ever disappear. But Buck winces, shaking his head and putting more distance between them.

“Buck?” The hushed plea is useless, he knows it is. He knows he has no right, but he asks anyway.

np tagging @beyourownanchor6 @bucksbiawakening @bi-buckrights @spotsandsocks @stereopticons @diazsdimples @daffi-990 @slightlyobsessedwitheverything @bucksbignaturals @dangerpronebuddie @diazheartsbuckley @theotherbuckley @thekristen999 @loveyouanyway @eowon @actuallyitsellie @epicbuddieficrecs @a-noble-dragon @weewootruck @saybiwithme @bidisasterevankinard @shipperqueen6 @kitteneddiediaz @your-catfish-friend @filet-o-feelings @wikiangela @underwaterninja13 @lizzie-bennetdarcy @steadfastsaturnsrings @inell @jesuisici33 @freewayshark @dr-shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @dorkydiaz @elvensorceress @giddyupbuck @indestructibleheart @lemonzestywrites @monsterrae1 @statueinthestone @the-likesofus @watchyourbuck @wildlife4life and anyone else who wants to 😘