#i’d be sad to see him go :(
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flowercrowngods · 6 days ago
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making a real post for @rvspecter pls bear with me
anyway harvey hurt fic where after mike is busted and given a second chance at life (or a third, really) and pearson specter litt seizes the chance to instate a pro bono department mike is heading because he wants to get it right this time and harvey will do just about anything to keep him, these two men finally mention this Thing between them and decide to give it a try. and it’s good. it’s fragile and it’s tentative and it’s gentle and it’s the same as it’s always been but with more tenderness, more honesty, more vulnerability (and more sex of course) and it’s good. against all odds, it’s so good.
but then one day, long after hours, donna approaches harvey in his office and her eyes are shining, but it’s not a glow harvey is used to — he never wants to get used to donna’s eyes filled with tears so he asks her what’s wrong, but he’s not ready for the answer. because she tells him she can’t work for him anymore. she tells him she’s leaving him — to work for louis at first, maybe to quit altogether. the fact do the matter is she can’t be the Donna to his Harvey anymore because she’s in love with him and she thought she had it under control but she doesn’t, okay, she doesn’t and it hurts and she wants to be happy for him and mike because they’re so good but all this time she’d never thought that harvey would ever find someone real, and now that he has, well. she can’t pretend anymore that it doesn’t tear her up inside and she doesn’t want to put that on any of them so she’s doing the mature thing and leaving. to heal. to get over him. to come back stronger.
and she’s so, so sorry.
they listen to gordon one last time, they toast to thirteen years one last time — her words, not his, but they drive a knife into his heart nonetheless because harvey doesn’t do one last-anything and yet here sits his best friend and asks for one last night together and who is he but to give her everything she wants and more. she’s his donna — still, tonight; one last night. she is.
he doesn’t tell mike that night. couldn’t, even if he wanted to; because he doesn’t have the words. but in the secure hold of mike’s arms, he says “donna won’t be working for me anymore, starting tomorrow.” and he doesn’t mention how that means that donna went to jessica and louis first, he doesn’t mention that he was the last to know, he doesn’t explain how he wasn’t given a chance to fix this — not this time. “donna quit?” mike asks, and harvey swallows, shakes his head, shrugs. “just me,” he says. “just me.” and when mike pulls him closer and holds him tighter and tells him “i’m so sorry, harvey,” it’s the first i’m sorry that night that he believes.
unfortunately, sorry never fixed anything.
especially when soon after, mike finds out just why donna left. and he gets all up in his head about it, he allows himself to spiral because he’s so ready to succumb to tunnel vision and obsessing over solutions to problems that aren’t his to fix. and so he tells harvey that he can’t be the thing that comes between him and donna. they’re soulmates after all, mike can’t bear to be the one to sever their bond. harvey doesn’t understand. he’s the one who’s supposed to lose his mind over having lost his best friend and pretend like everything is okay, what right does mike have to make that about himself, to take it upon himself to fix everything when harvey’s the fixer, harvey is the one who solves problems and protects people. but mike won’t hear any of that and tells harvey that he can’t do it like this if it means hurting donna because she’s his best friend, too, and he wants to get it right this time. he doesn’t want to build this new life on decisions that hurt his people — not again. he’s hurt enough people, he can’t keep doing it.
harvey wants to ask him why he’s always so ready to protect everyone at his expense. isn’t this thing between them, their relationship, isn’t it meant to stop them from hurting each other? why is it okay to hurt harvey, but not to hurt donna?
he doesn’t ask any of that, only tells him that they’re not in high school, and that they’re either doing this or not, but he refuses to base their relationship on whether or not his best friend is okay with seeing him happy or not. “you’re either in this with me, mike, or you’re out. that hasn’t changed, and it won’t, because donna will get over it and everything will be back to normal before you know it.”
“you don’t know that.”
“yes i do, because we’re grown-ups and we get over things.”
famous last words, it turns out, because mike just slowly shakes his head, agonising over this and not thinking, clearly not thinking when he says, “i’m sorry, harvey. i can’t to this; not like this.”
and all he can do is watch mike’s back as he all but runs from him, dragging his heart behind him, through the dirt, uncaring as bits and pieces of it chip off with every step mike takes, with every second that passes and allows the words i can’t and i’m sorry, harvey echo in the hollow of his chest.
we’re grown-ups. we get over things. well, tough fucking luck.
and this is how harvey loses the two most important people in his life in the matter of a week. before he knows it, he’s alone, left to fend for himself and hollowed out. his walls are broken down, deconstructed piece by piece by carefully, gentle hands to reveal what’s underneath — only for the hands to retreat, letting in the icy cold and accepting what’s inside to wither and die.
there’s a reason harvey specter makes his own luck; the universe isn’t very forthcoming otherwise. a fact that is proven when he finds a stranger outside his building when all he wants is to curl up and breathe through the cracks of his broken hearts that have pierced his lungs, they must have, surely they must have, because he can’t breathe. and he doesn’t learn how to breathe again when the woman — a kid, really, merely twenty-five — reveals that she’s his half sister. because it turns out the reason lily specter was so ready to up and leave all those years ago; the reason she didn’t fight for her family and instead blamed it all on harvey, was because she was pregnant. and she lied about it — for twenty-six years.
amelia selene specter is the little sister harvey has always wished for — but cancer is a curse that rests on the specter family, and while marcus got lucky twice, selene isn’t. she didn’t have the money for medical resources, and it’s eating harvey alive that he didn’t know, that there was no way for him to help her and that there’s no way now.
but there is. because selene has two kids, seven and four, and she needs his help because they can’t get lost in the system, they can’t live with total strangers or be separated because the system doesn’t actually care about children, they only care about not feeling guilty. and she won’t ask lily. these two angels must be kept from her at all costs because she ruined two families already, she won’t ruin this one.
and harvey is obsessed with the thought of more family, he needs to take care of and be there for someone and he’s ready to take on the world to protect his niece and nephew — but he’s not warm, he’s not available, he’s not even at home most of the time, nor is his place suitable for kids.
he agrees to take them in and find a solution though. he promises selene that he’ll be there for them. he’ll always be there. and when he gets to meet them — a few days before his sister dies way too young, way too alive for something like death to not rip him apart entirely — he gets attached instantly and vows to himself and to selene that nothing will happen to them as long as he’s there.
even though harvey just lost his family — the one he chose, the one he was born into, and the one he never got to meet. even though harvey’s entire world was deconstructed with no one around to put it back together. even though he doesn’t know how, because evidently he got it wrong every single time, harvey gets to build a new family with these kids. and though it tears him up inside, it heals something inside him too — and sometimes they balance each other out, and he can breathe again for just a little while as he reads to charlotte because she’s feisty and afraid of nightmares and not listening when he says she’ll be tired in the morning because “i’m tired in the morning anyway, but now i wanna read” and he trades her going to bed for a bedtime story, and she falls asleep with her face pressed into his side.
it’s so frail, though, so fragile, this little family, and he knows what it’s like when everything breaks. he knows what it’s like to lose one’s family — over and over and over again. and he’s terrified that he’s building himself back up the wrong way. he’s terrified because there’s no one keeping him together but both his hands are occupied holding these children that cry for their mama.
he’s terrified because he’s not supposed to be doing this alone. but everyone else has made their choice and he, as always, is just there to bear the consequences and try to turn it into a win.
one day, he will. he has to. and one day, he’s not alone anymore.
#harvey specter#mike ross#donna paulsen#marvey#suits#suits usa#suits tv#listen uhhh sorry this got so long??? i take no responsibility that this ran away from me you are warned now this is what happens when#you get me started on a story idea hdhdhd#of course mike realises what he’s done and how STUPID he was about it all and he runs back to harvey attempting to fix it all#not at all expecting the two children in the condo#and when harvey tells him everything and mike realises the damage he’s done and the pain he’s caused he doesn’t know if he can fix it#if he can make it right. if he even deserves another chance at this because shit harvey i’m so sorry. i didn’t know. god i’m such an idiot#knowing donna was hurting it made me panic but realising that you were hurting even more just… god. you didn’t deserve that. i’m so sorry. ‘#and harvey gives him a sad smile because he’s known all along that mike was in his head about it and that he was being stupid and self-#sacrificial. only that he didn’t just sacrifice himself but harvey too. and he had hoped GOD had he hoped that mike would come back to him.#‘can i come in? i’d understand if you never wanna see me again though’ mike asks and harvey opens the door with a shrug. ‘course you can.’#and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey tells him about charlie and elias. and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey tells him about#selene. and mike tells him he loves him. and harvey looks up and wraps his arms around mike because he doesn’t want to hear it but he does#not want to let go of him either. never wants to let him go again. they cry a little bit about it. but it’s okay because mike wipes his#tears away and harvey lets him before resting their foreheads together. ‘don’t leave again’ he tells him. ‘i won’t’ mike promises.#and he doesn’t. and their family gets a bit more fragile then but also stronger for it. somehow it makes sense.
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starlooove · 4 months ago
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The whole made up “tim is seen/treated as an employee by everyone’” thing is funny vs just how much Steph and spoiler as an identity got disrespected by literally everybody. Like not even hated just the casual disrespect for her is soooo
#yknow what’s even funnier#I genuinely believe since Tim’s run is like the only thing so many ppl read they try to justify Bruce being shitty w/ the employee thing#but like that’s just how Bruce is#like they’re trying to conflate it with the fandom they knew and they come up with Bruce treats tim particularly horribly#like no guys…Bruce is NICE to Tim. like in comparison?#like I’m not disregarding the birthday thing when I say this I think bruce had like. the most respect for Tim’s autonomy out of everyone#and I’m also not disregarding post jason death behaviors I’m just saying#actually besides Duke too#I think Duke and Tim got the most respect from bruce like he was even bs-ing barbara A LOT#I’d argue dick but his relationship shifting from kooky to scary is so sad actually like not just shift in tone for batfam irl imaging how#it felt in world without the explanation that things are getting serious so we’re raising the stakes for money#that’s a whole diff convo I think about everyday tho#what I’m saying is that ppl who only read tim see Bruce’s fucked up behavior and think ‘this can’t be Bruce’ when the only other thing they#read is in the ‘good parent Bruce’ tag and Twitter#so they think he’s like atrocious to tim specifically and he’s treated badly vs everyone else#when that’s him being nice…#and tbh not just Bruce this goes for the writers as well#you only read Tim’s stuff and maybe wfa so when Tim gets stagnant writing you go ‘dc HATES tim 😡’ when like.#they LOVE tim that’s how they show their love it’s shitty.#u wanna see who they hate look at Duke cass Damian and Steph#there’s 2 common denominators and they overlap for one of em 😬
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whumpy-wyrms · 3 months ago
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it’s 3am and i’ve spent the past few hours drawing a bunch of doodles of me and anton hanging out together like we’re the bestest of friends because it’s my art and i can draw whatever i want forever
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yasminhananis · 6 months ago
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not why i’ve been offline, but just found out my family dog died :(
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planetary · 4 months ago
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OKAY REALLY GOOD NEWS but also im sad about it BUT sneaker is getting a chance at the adoption program!!!
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coconut530 · 1 year ago
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SPOTTED 😮🫵
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floral-hex · 11 months ago
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hi it’s my birthday tomorrow
#had to redo this since someone left a comment that bummed me out a lot#well… didn’t HAVE to but I didn’t like seeing the notification#guess I could have just deleted their comment… shit… didn’t think about that#hey uhhhh please don’t be mean to me about my birthday. I’m just a sad lil guy 🥺#I already dislike my birthday. I hate feeling older. like I’m wasting my life.#it’s already usually an afterthought since it’s Christmas Eve#but with my mom’s surgery it’s even more of an afterthought and I’m so stressed and I have to take care of my bros and I’m just not great 😬#like… what do I even want to do tomorrow?#I’d love to just sleep in and eat junk and maybe go see a movie#but I have to go drive 40 minutes to see my mom and if I try to cut the visit short I’ll just feel guilty#so… I guess I’m spending my birthday watching my mom shake and cry in pain 🤷🏻‍♂️#which can be okay! I mean not okay but I can 100%… well… 85% live with that. it’s okay. it’s just a day.#but fuck does it hurt when people just ignore it or downplay it or make jokes about my birthday this year#people don’t have to care about my birthday. strangers online don’t have to care. it’s whatever.#and I’m not even mad at anyone in particular. I just… yeah.. I just can’t take negative jokes about it right now.#I’m trying not to be specific! I don’t want to be mean! nobody is being mean to me! it’s okay!#im just a sensitive baby that just wants people to be nice to him for the next 24 hours#…. I’m sad!#I think I’ll just be mean to everyone tomorrow#…. lol like I could do that. pfffttt I’ll bend over backwards for my family and I’ll be glad to do it. mostly.#it’ll be okay#days are 24 hours. I’m sure I can squeeze some good stuff in between the bad. that’s life babyyyy#and I love you and I appreciate you to no one in particular and I’m sorry I’m so sensitive#my mutuals are great#you’re all great. unless you aren’t. but we won’t talk about that.#ok you can ignore this#text
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gothsuguru · 11 months ago
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HI HELLO IM BREAKING INTO UR INBOX W TEARS IN MY EYES…………… 😭😭 i just read all ur tags on my sugu fics and when i tell you i CRIED YOURE SOO??? so so SO sweet and thoughtful????? I HOPE YOUR DINNER WAS THE TASTIEST EVER bc ur tags made my whole weekend <333333 literally every single thing u said made me go YES YOU GET IT like… im just gonna mention a couple things phsjdhs IM REALLY SOSO GRATEFUL <333 
FIRST OFF just . everything u said abt my writing in general??? is soooo unbelievably kind??? T_T like abt the setting and prose and etc!!! i got soooo happy every time u said u felt like u were really There LIKE THAT MEANS SO MUCH…. ”it’s like i’m living inside your words” ARE U TRYING TO KILL ME </3 sob. thank u :’< 
and aaa im so glad u liked all three fics even though theyre a bit different!! ��🥺 i just rlly feel like u understood what i was trying to convey w certain characters and lines and stuff and it means soooo much??? SUGU IS A DEVOTED LOVERBOY YESYESYES U GET IT!!!!! U UNDERSTAND!!!! ”devoted” & ”intense” are the PERFECT words for him i cant tell u how much i agree. AND SOO NURTURING YES WE’RE SO LINKED he’s so mother he’s so husbandwife <333 IM JUST NODDING ALONG TO EVERYTHING U SAY like genuinely. food as love was the theme for that particular fic hehe im so glad u noticed!!! 
AAAA AND UR TAGS ON THE CHILDHOOD BESTIES FIC ……. thats probably my fave sugu fic out of the ones ive written ngl i was sooo happy to see that u liked it 😭😭😭 U GET IT U DO… like their love could be platonic or romantic but it doesnt rlly matter bc they just love each other sooo much. HE’S A GHIBLI BOY YES i’m so glad u see the vision <33
IM SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG i just need you to know that i see you and i love you and i appreciate you <3333 tysm for reading my silly lil fics and taking the time to write such thoughtful tags!!! 🥺🥺 im tucking them all away into my heart hehe. wishing u the most wonderful weekend ever !!!! mwah mwah mwah <33
OMG PLEASENDNDNDND your writing is literally SO stunning methinks you have the best rendition of suguru out there… like it’s so TELLING how much you love suguru (and satoru bc TRUST i’m gonna be in the tags of those fics too) and also i just really like how much personality you give to the reader as well! like everyone just is so fleshed out & 3-dimensional like they don’t feel like Just Characters In A Story they feel like real people & honestly magnificent writing to me always makes me feel like i’m watching a movie - and your writing does that! as i’m reading i’m envisioning everything like a movie & that’s the best compliment i can give fr <3 again it’s a testament to your beautiful dialogue, scene setting, storytelling, and YES PROSE!!!!! THAT’S THE WORD I WAS LOOKING FOR THE ENTIRE TIMENFNFNFNF your PROSE is beautiful 😭 it’s very COZY & PRETTY i love it
& OMG I WAS ABLE 2 UNDERSTAND BC YOU CONVEY EVERYTHING SO WELL!!!!! i was never confused i was Always In It <3 AND YES YOU SPOKE #REAL bc sugu is the ULTIMATE devoted loverboy… & i love how his intensity is just innate to him like he can’t help but love fully and with his whole entire mind, heart, body, & soul! and i also like how it isn’t an uncomfortable intensity or overbearing in a bad way - it’s just like a really nice weighted blanket and i LOVE that. & omg i’ve come to love food motifs so much………. whether it be hunger for something, cannibalism to get to the core of someone’s being, peeling clementines as an act of selflessness/love for someone else, or just sweet soft feeding your lover in bed bc you want them to eat well… that’s some delicious fucking food. & YESSSSSS nurturing caretaker sugu my beloved………. i think i read somewhere i forgot if it was just a random post here but someone said that suguru has such natural paternal instincts and that’s so real… like he’s mother he’s father he’s husbandwife he’s Transcended everything… the ultimate DadMom of the group… i just know his tote bag has bandaids, water, & snacks for everyone and he’s just the One you go to talk to about anything (again just like your sugu <3) OH AND ALSO i really like how devoted the reader is too! i Myself am a devoted lovergirl so i Feel seen
THE CHILDHOOD BESTIES FIC WAS SO FUCKING &/@/$/&//@/&:! why’d i get transported to a quaint town w the boy i’ve been in love since childhood and now he grew into a wondrous handsome man… trust that for Me if it involves sugu i’m immediately going romantic mode like i’m sorry i’m so Desperately In Love with him i can’t be normal <3 that fic is so fucking rich and filled w real problems that teens/ppl in their twenties face! the fear of the unknown but it feels like anything is possible and doable with someone like suguru by your side! AND YES HE IS SOOOOO HAKU-CODED TO ME (my first bf since i was a kid… coincidence? methinks not…) and also i reallllllllly love your fic of suguru going to reader’s apartment to declare war but he instead goes & has tea & cookies instead… i think i read that fic ages ago on ao3 and i could never find it again so it’s so Poetic Cinema that i found it here and that it was YOU and that you created so many more amazing fics… like i’m so well fed omfg & i’m super excited for anything you have coming out next!
AND OMG IT’S ABSOLUTELY MY PLEASURE! THANK YOU FOR CREATING SUCH BEAUTIFUL STORIES THAT I WILL KEEP TUCKED IN MY BRAIN & HEART <3 i will never forget you twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat… for as long as i live 🫡☝🏼 BUT FR!!!!! thank you for creating such wonderful premises for stories! i’m ecstatic to read anything you come out with next <3 mwah mwah mwah
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^ me when reading your fics
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catboywizard · 4 months ago
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i love my cat more than anything but why is he such a bullyyyyy
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narugen-moved · 5 months ago
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okay if hoshina gets promoted to captain status in another division i will literally be so sad but it would be extremely fitting if he ends up nurturing a whole batch of recruits/an entire division through his kindness.. passing on the warmth that his captain showed him when they first met.. ough
#egg boils#also my own ship brain talking in tags now but he would Absolitely visit taxhikawa base numerous times just to hang out#in the end 3rd division will always be his HOME!!!!!!!!#GAWD IMAHINE THE PINING AND YEARNING. “i miss you#oh i’m crazy. actually.#mina not realizing how empty it feels without hoshina causing up a storm in the control rooms#also i’d assume by then kafka wld be vice captain here and it’s just not the same#no hate to kafka bc i do think with ch110 they’d be a stellar team but#he’s not hoshina!!!!#and kafka is fundamentally js a different person that provides her with a diff sense of comfort#mina missing hoshina. oh wow. amazing concept to me actually. i enjoy it#WAIT LET ME CONTINUE#KAFKA SEEING HER DOWN IN THE DUMPS AND IS LIKE MINA ARE YOU EVER GOING TO CONFESS HELLO?#you are 28 now !!!!!!!!!!!!?! he is no longer in ur division u don’t get to see him daily isn’t it just so sad and then in typical kafka#fashion he kinda starts crying For her like mina 😭😭😭😭 ur crush on vice captain (oh i guess it’s captain now huh) hoshina is soo obvious#WHY DIDJT U DO ANYTHING ABIUT IT#AND MINA IS JUST HUFFING LIKE IM COMMANDER OF THIS BASE I DONT HAVE TIME TO THINK ABOUY THAT????#and kafka is like But u obviously MISS HIM#AND SHES LIKE: THAT DOESNT MATTER I HAVE WORK TO DO#kafka shaking her shoulders: MINA!!!!!!!!#so he calls hoshina instead and is U need to come over NOW#and hoshina is like ???????? but he’s free????? sort of??? and he goes over. it’s like idk say 3 hours away but he Goes Anyway.#and mina is flabbergasted when he shows up and kafka is Like awesome! tell him now!#and mina is like: IM NOT READY FOR THAT???????#kafka: just wing it 😁👍#mina: KAFKA#idea bank#that’s so funny wait
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theshadowrealmitself · 2 years ago
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I hate the fact that Valerie and Vlad team up in canon, but I do like the idea of them teaming up in a very specific au where after Phantom beats Vlad out for being mayor (but can’t actually become mayor because he’s not an adult) the popular kids (mostly Dash and Paulina) make him a candidate for school president (since they discovered he’s around their age)
Valerie obviously hates this and does not want Phantom to have any part of her school so she runs against him
Vlad, still mad that he technically lost against Phantom, makes a deal with Valerie to help her win (obvious she’s wary of this creepy old dude but she can’t stand the idea of Phantom becoming such an active member of the school, the whole thing makes her skin crawl, so she begrudgingly accepts his help)
Despite everything tho, Phanton still obviously wins, just to once again not actually win (not enrolled in Casper High that they know of so he can’t be school president), Mr. Lancer is the one to deliver that news and the students angrily chase off campus
Valerie and Vlad blame each other and get into a heated argument, Vlad’s image takes another hit, and so does Valerie’s as she ran against Phantom instead of just letting him win, and now she has to actually be school president?? whoops she did not think this through
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existence-is-overrated · 1 year ago
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scott mctominay ♥️
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fingertipsmp3 · 11 months ago
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I’m not sure if the seasonal depression is hitting especially hard this year or if I’m just grieving for Mabel or if I’m finally going irreparably insane or if life/people is being unfair towards me or all of the above
#i cry super hard every day now. sometimes multiple times a day#sometimes something sets it off specifically (like arguing with my mom earlier)#but sometimes i just think about mabel too much and start sobbing#i thought i was okay. i mean i knew i wasn’t okay but i knew time would do its thing#the first few weeks were the worst but earlier this month i felt like i’d kind of plateau’d#like i was still sad but i could look at photos and videos and talk about her without crying. i was even laughing#now… now i can’t even think of her. again#it just feels so fucking unfair that i’ll NEVER see her again. like what the fuck do you mean. what do you MEAN#what do you mean i have to live out my whole life… god knows how fucking long i’ll live; and N E V E R see her again. shut the fuck up.#that’s so fucking unfair. and everyone else is okay. i’m like how can you POSSIBLY just go about your life#the best dog in the world is dead and she’s going to stay dead and i won’t see her again for however many fucking stupid cursed decades#i live and i might not even see her when i die. how the HELL am i supposed to be okay with that. is that a joke#and there’s a part of me that’s like ‘maybe i could adopt another dog’ but i don’t know#i think i’d feel better and worse at the same time. i wouldn’t feel so alone but they wouldn’t be mabel#i put in an application for a terrier that’s at a local rescue but if i don’t get him i’m not trying again. i’ll take it as a hint#cats aren’t an option btw i found out i’m allergic. which was brand new information.. i’ve been around cats that didn’t set my allergies#off at all. but i guess there’s a difference between spending an hour at your friend’s house who has one cat#and living 24/7 with a cat that gets fur and dander and saliva everywhere#and i don’t think other pets would suit me. i just don’t feel comfortable caring for any animal i haven’t done research on#i had hamsters when i was a teenager but… tbh never again. they are so much fun but i have anxiety dreams about them now#so it’s dogs (well.. one dog) or nothing#i do have plans to speak to my doctor about my depression btw because i genuinely find this unsustainable#like i do think it’s situational (seasonal/grief/everyone around me seeming to want to argue with me lately) but i still need#mood stabilisers while i’m in this situation lol#personal
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yangscowlick · 2 years ago
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That Pyrrha scene had me choking up ngl.
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motheyes · 2 years ago
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would also love to get some more of my dream pets but i do not have room rn
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purefandomsalt · 7 months ago
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First I cackled. Then I just felt horribly sad because Gabriel is just a terrible father.
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You're not foolin' Ladybug and you're not foolin' me!
Episode 53 Part 24 First < Previous > Next Season 1, Season 2, Season 3, Season 4, Season 5 Ep 41, Ep 42, Ep 43, Ep 44 Ep 45, Ep 46, Ep 47, Ep 48, Intermission, Ep 49, Ep 50, Ep 51, Ep 52
Ko-fi | Patreon
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