#i’d be dead in about an hour
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save me doctor singh from sweetooth actually don’t save me i’d die wait no-
#i’d be dead in about an hour#i love him though as a character like oughhh guilt is tricking him into doing what he never wanted to do oh yes this also means he isolates#himself from everyone he’s ever lived because he’s got a mad scientist thing going on#i’m insaneeee i need to watch sweetooth again#thoughts in the void
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Daylight saving another tool used by the capitalists to keep us disoriented and confused
#you guys I think I might die today#I have a 5 hour job interview (they’re just that long now)#I think I’ll be fine because im overqualified what sucks is that im not. excited about this job in the least#I just need to leave my current team I hate it and I think they’re about to fire a bunch of people#and they will be fucked without me because they heaped a lot of work on me and the. just assumed I’d take it lol#and it’s the same fuck ass corporation just a different team 🔫I wish I could leave the corp but I’ve gotten nothing but rejections from out#anyway so after that I have to sit and stew in the anxiety of elections#I already voted absentee I am too scared to go to the polls#but I’ve been so anxious about the election#I keep thinking about my kid and feeling guilty#like what will her future look like if he wins#what will we do#idk so basically all this is combining to kill me via heart attack or something lol!!! maybe this will be my last post and I’ll just#drop dead at some point haha!!#I have to go look at a picture of Thanatos immediately to calm down#god just let me get thru this week I’ll pray whatever
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last night I was up till midnight watching inside job and since I still wasn’t tired I decided to stay up all night. it was… weird
#I felt really giddy and happy the whole time and then I finally slept at 6:30 am for about an hour and when I woke up. I felt like shit.#as you might imagine#but I read alice isnt dead by joseph fink it was really good#might talk about it more later I have a lot of thoughts#also I’d been hoping to see the sunrise but it was cloudy so it was just the sky being dark and then getting lighter
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everytime i replay rdr2 and get to the epilogue i’m heartbroken because as soon as free roam is unlocked again i’ll just spend like an hour walking around looking at everything and thinking ‘arthur’s been in that house’ or ‘arthur’s been down this trail’ before bursting into tears
#does this make sense#i’d make a longer post about how sad this makes me and how i always relate it to my experiences with grief irl but idk if anyone wants that#im also gonna take a nap rn anyway but maybe when i wake up !! bc it gives me such a real feeling of sorrow that no other game has#even when im hours into the epilogue i’ll do this ngl#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan
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One year ago I found a dead moth at the cove so I brought her up to higher ground and buried her while playing a funeral playlist 😭
#Idek bro#I actually cried so hard#I stayed there for at least an hour#My neighbors think I’m the insane girl who listens to rock and buries the dead animals#OH WAIT#at some point I’ll try to find the pics#But once#near the cove in this pretty lil meadow by the road#I found a cat skeleton#Really close to some missing cat posters#Ope#and every time I went by I’d check if it was still there#It’s long gone now but I think about that often#Anyways I doubt any of you will actually read all of this#But if you did#I love you#so much#Thank you#it means a lot to me that you care this much#Now go have a great time
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I’ve always seen posts about doll shows and I sigh wistfully because I’ve been like damn what a shame we don’t have those in my state/near me. But dude I just looked up “doll shows near me” and my state literally does TWO. And we have TWO DOLL CLUBS!! WHAT!!!!!! The only bad thing about this is I don’t drive so unless I can convince someone to drive me for this then I’m out of luck. Still excited to know it exists though!!!!!
#and one of the shows is literally later this month lmao#it’s an hour drive away……. not horrible.? but again. I don’t drive#and unfortunately public transportation isn’t the best to get there :-( I’d totally do it if it was#i do wonder if either of the clubs would be welcoming to a kind of strange goth guy (me)#because I’m just kind of assuming it’s middle aged/older women? and like. my bad if that’s completely incorrect#but I don’t think a state doll club would have many men.? especially of the darker alternative style#genuinely tempted to contact the clubs and ask about the groups……. hmmmm#dead text
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https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSNogVcDd/
This really helped me get over mine I hope it helps you too you deserve it
thank you babes, this was very kind of you!
don’t worry, i’m in my feather era right now, and it’s been amazinggg.
even got a “fuck you” playlist in regards to my ex and it’s been on a loop since!
#i’m SO sorry for your loss!#i thought that it would kill me but it didn’t!#i hope you’re miserable until you’re dead!#you’re so fucking annoying you could poison poison!#i’m stronger than you thought i’d ever be!#cause if you think i care about you now well boy i don’t give a fuck!#out of sight out of mind!#i ain’t sorry!#i can love me better than you can!#damn you’re such a!#sorry i’m listening to the playlist rn sdjlfkldsjl#bad bitch hours#anon#belle answers#v
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I’m not sure if the seasonal depression is hitting especially hard this year or if I’m just grieving for Mabel or if I’m finally going irreparably insane or if life/people is being unfair towards me or all of the above
#i cry super hard every day now. sometimes multiple times a day#sometimes something sets it off specifically (like arguing with my mom earlier)#but sometimes i just think about mabel too much and start sobbing#i thought i was okay. i mean i knew i wasn’t okay but i knew time would do its thing#the first few weeks were the worst but earlier this month i felt like i’d kind of plateau’d#like i was still sad but i could look at photos and videos and talk about her without crying. i was even laughing#now… now i can’t even think of her. again#it just feels so fucking unfair that i’ll NEVER see her again. like what the fuck do you mean. what do you MEAN#what do you mean i have to live out my whole life… god knows how fucking long i’ll live; and N E V E R see her again. shut the fuck up.#that’s so fucking unfair. and everyone else is okay. i’m like how can you POSSIBLY just go about your life#the best dog in the world is dead and she’s going to stay dead and i won’t see her again for however many fucking stupid cursed decades#i live and i might not even see her when i die. how the HELL am i supposed to be okay with that. is that a joke#and there’s a part of me that’s like ‘maybe i could adopt another dog’ but i don’t know#i think i’d feel better and worse at the same time. i wouldn’t feel so alone but they wouldn’t be mabel#i put in an application for a terrier that’s at a local rescue but if i don’t get him i’m not trying again. i’ll take it as a hint#cats aren’t an option btw i found out i’m allergic. which was brand new information.. i’ve been around cats that didn’t set my allergies#off at all. but i guess there’s a difference between spending an hour at your friend’s house who has one cat#and living 24/7 with a cat that gets fur and dander and saliva everywhere#and i don’t think other pets would suit me. i just don’t feel comfortable caring for any animal i haven’t done research on#i had hamsters when i was a teenager but… tbh never again. they are so much fun but i have anxiety dreams about them now#so it’s dogs (well.. one dog) or nothing#i do have plans to speak to my doctor about my depression btw because i genuinely find this unsustainable#like i do think it’s situational (seasonal/grief/everyone around me seeming to want to argue with me lately) but i still need#mood stabilisers while i’m in this situation lol#personal
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anybody else occasionally struck with the urge to track down their entire extended family and figure out what their Deal is?
#mostly re: my Grammy’s siblings…#she’s only on speaking terms with 2.5 of them afaik - but i’m like 👀👀#it is TRULY none of my business - but i wanna meet them all so bad… there are six in all and somehow they’re all still alive#and i’d love to get in touch and then road trip it out to Minnesota and drop in for a few hours#just put faces to these names i’ve heard all my life#and keep learning more and more fucked up stuff about#i want them to be People to me#before they’re dead and gone#this will never ACTUALLY happen because - again - it’s none of my business#i have no right to contact them if they’re not in contact with the person we’re related through#but like 👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁 the urge is SO strong
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realised the last time I started studying dead boyfriend was still alive… complicated feelings
#a#thought about it bc the ppl I date need to be friends first and I was texting the new boyfriend things I’d have texted dead boyfriend#sad :/#this is not forever#also second hour into lectures and I got stressed bc of this#i need therapy sooo bad
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Me, about my cat that I have a co-dependent kinda parental style relationship with: “this is my emotional support animal” said as if I am not also his emotional support animal
#emma posts#if one of us is upset about something the other one is there#I can’t tell if I’m his bestie or his second mom#I think both???#I know he’s a cat and I do cat parent stuff like keeping him out of trouble#but emotionally the dynamic is mutual#especially when he has to spend a night away with my parents#I start to feel especially seperation lonely at night if I’m away#and he will apparently cry out looking for me at night if I’m away#is there co-dependence there? I can’t tell but it’s kinda a joke that we are each other’s supports#we can spend a few hours apart without being super upset though! and doesn’t everyone who lives with someone they’re really close to start#to be super lonely when separated at night?#I’m making this sound worse than it is#I’m bad at making this joke#it’s basically just being each other’s support animals#he supports me when I’m stressed and upset and all that#and I reassure and comfort him when something makes him upset#it’s actually kinda grounding helping him instead of just worrying. one of us has to be the support#part of the separation anxiety has to do with trauma. especially on my part#but I’d be in a way worse place without him#tbh possibly dead#gods this got dark again#why am I so bad a making this joke#i make everything sound worse#although there’s admittedly a lot of stuff that has been dark#we also adapted to communicating with each other#I’ve studied cat behavior and minds for years and he’s learned ways to communicate vocally or show me by leading me and gestures#cats have so much autism energy too#cats have autism energy and horses have anxiety#they also aren’t prone to super intense affection
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WHERE’S MY FUKING CAPO
#my post#funny#relatable#guitar#music#bjork#wait you can only have 30 tags the joke is much less funny if i don’t have a fucking wall of the stuff i guess i’ll just make this one reall#and 140 characters per tag this is stifling my creativity meh i was running out of popular tags anyway bjork’s not that popular of a tag tho#tbh i was running out of inspiration after like the 4 tag this joke was not meant to be at least not by my hand and i guess it wasn’t that f#unny either i cooled down real fast on that one you know what i’m pivoting this is no longer popular tags just my train of thought for as lo#ng as i feel like it the first few one might not even make sense when i’m done but who cares not me clearly it is quite annoying how i can’t#use commas tho make’s this harder to read than it needs to any way i lost my capo for like the third time my desk isn’t even that messy but#don’t know where else i would’ve put it it’s not lying on any of my instruments either i probably put it quote somewhere i would remember un#quote but clearly i didn’t i’m usually very good at remembering where i put things put the capo is the zone in between i use this often and#i use this every other year so i never remember where it is stored it is 1 am so i guess i’m going to bed soon anyway but still this is goin#g to annoy me until tomorrow i don’t even need it right i’ve had to remove so many tags the original joke barely makes sense anymore i’m kee#ping bjork tho you can pry her out of my cold dead hands not that i really listen to her music or know her i just like saying her name i’ts#got good mouth feel and it’s fun to spell i didn’t realize how long filling 30 tags would be what’s 140 times 30 let me look it up 4200 this#makes this post my biggest project by like 3000 words the only time i’ve written any meaningful lengths of texts was in college and i’m a dr#opout what 4200 characters not words silly little me makes a lot more sense now that i think about it i’m getting tired of writing so this m#ay end soon i would like to not go to bed at 4 am for a silly little post 2 people are going to read plus i am running out of ideas of thing#s to write i am very much not a writer writing scares me even writing lyrics for songs terrifies me i’ve only manage to write lyrics for one#without getting too self conscious and imploding but i’m better at writing songs with vocals i’ve never had anyone to write music with and w#ithout the ability to sing or write lyrics it’s been difficult the singing has been more or less remedied with synth v but the puter can’t w#rite lyrics for meso until i get a lyricist friend i will have to toughen up you can’t make art without making yourself known to those who c#onsume it but lyrics and poetry has always been 1 step too far for me tbh i’d rather spontaneously combust rather than let people know me i#do not look at my very numerous in stars and time posts and reblogs they are completely unrelated to this don’t think about it oh look behin#d you there’s a distraction oh you’ve missed it i have been writing this for half an hour and i am getting so sick of it i revealed informat#ion about the inner machinations of my mind i have not done this since last time i saw a therapist 5 years ago this is fucked up what a self#impose writing challenge can do to you luckily this is the last tag i’m doing lucky me well this was fun this is going to end suddenly so do
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Guess who bought an obscene number of books today? (She bought 12)
#I’m so excited!!! and now that I have some free time#ahhhh#I bought jjk 4 (or 5. it’s the one that has the nanami/itadori/mahito fight from s1)#I bought Dostoevsky’s crime and punishment (do I know anything about it no. but there’s a whole bit-)#I got the dead apple and beast Bsd light novels (now I’m only one away from having them all)#I also got the 3 and 4 my happy marriage light novels (they didn’t have 1/2 but I’m hoping Reddit people didn’t lie about them being mostly#the show- I’m kinda too hyped to care)#I also got a squirrel girl comic which I weirdly don’t remember - I don’t own them all but I spent a whole summer reading them from the#library. I think it’s just been awhile but. I will take any and all excuses to read more squirrel girl#I also bought legion trauma? I wanted to see if they had legion quest bc why not. I wanted to try reading a legion comic#I also got a silly like. Star Trek satire/parody picture book#four hours to three dif book stores it was a great time#highly reccomend unhinged bad decisions#now I’m trying to finish stormbringer. which I started like two weeks ago and haven’t been in the right mindset to read#shut up sarah#sorry I also got the new Casey mcquinston book the pairing bc I’d totally forgotten it had come out and I love their books
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Urghhh. School is gonna kill me. Not because of the amount of work I’m experiencing right now but because I take an absurd amount of time to decompress after coming home, so I only get in the mood to draw after 8 PM, but the issue is that I need to go to bed at 10 PM in order to get a full 8 hours of sleep (I take awhile to fall asleep).
If it weren’t for my (kinda) strict rule about at least getting 7.5 hours of sleep every night, I would be unstoppable
#or i’d drop dead from lack of sleep#honestly I think my sleep schedule is the healthiest part about me rn#i always kinda try for 8 hours and I feel really bad if I can’t achieve that
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~ ~ ~
#I sat here wondering if you were dead just for you to message me at midnight#tell me the nonsense reasons why you couldn’t be around today#and it just hits me how little you care about me at all#I miss you so fucking much#and I know you’re right here but you’re not the same person you used to be#I miss that person more than words can say#I miss when you gave a shit about our friendship#I miss when you were my best friend#I feel like I’m losing you over and over again every day and it’s killing me#now I just get to sit here crying over you like a fucking fool wondering what’s the point of any of this#I should have just gone to bed two hours ago and pretended everything was fine#but I just needed to stay up until I heard from you because I wanted to know you were alright and safe#I’d never get that same courtesy or treatment from you#but then I forget that to you I’m just another one of your mistakes#I just hate all of this so much#personal
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Day 20. Monster-kinktober: Creature feature + Monsterfucking/Shower sex
A/N: I blame nobody but me (and @cheesomancer) for this ridiculous situation, and I apologize because I really like gym settings for my stories. Enjoy!
Demon x fem!reader || size kink, (very light) tail play, weird dicks, semi-public sex
You’ve been eyeing the red demon across the gym for an hour. And he’s been eyeing you back. It feels like foreplay in a weird way, and your pussy is claiming for attention. In a normal day, you wouldn’t do anything about it, but you are horny and needy and you don’t have nothing to lose.
So you walk to him with only one thing in mind: dick.
He looks at you without blinking as you approach, not stopping his bicep curls as you stand before him. “Do you wanna… Grab a shower?” You both know that’s the international euphemism for gym shower sex, and you truly hope he gets it because you need a dicking like you need your next breath.
“Goddess, yes.” He drops the weights on the rack and follows behind you.
You get undressed faster than lightning and turn around in time to see him lowering his pants over his impressively thick thighs. And you stop dead in your tracks. “Wha- what is that?” You ask with a short chuckle, confused as you stare between his legs to what seems to be a lava lamp. It’s translucent and you can see some kind of glowing liquid go up and down, it’s low-key mesmerizing.
“My dick?” He asks back, as confused as you. “It’s a normal demon dick,” he clarifies, looking at you like you are the weird one in the situation and not the demon with the lava lamp dick. How did you get into this surreal situation?
“Dude, it’s a lava lamp!” You giggle almost hysterically as you look at him.
He looks embarrassed and you feel bad for laughing, but good goddess he has a lava lamp for dick. “It’s normal, okay? All demons have similar dicks.”
But then between your amused brain something filters, it doesn’t only look like a lava lamp, but is almost as big as one. Looking back at his dick your mind fills with anticipation, that shape must feel pretty great inside of you, but you aren’t sure you could fit him inside. But you are horny enough that you would die trying to fit it inside if that’s what it took.
“Are they all that big?” You ask him, your pussy clenching over nothing.
“N- No. That’s all me,” he stutters, making you giggle again as you approach him. You coo at him, your hand caressing his chest as you pinch one nipple and kiss the soft gasp off his mouth. He’s so cute.
“Come on, big guy, I like you sweaty, but I’d like you more buried deep inside of me,” you tease as you walk to the shower. You smile when you hear his rapid footsteps behind you. Such a cute demon, fuck.
You turn the water on and start rinsing the sweat off you, he does the same, his big body crowding you against the wall as he takes the water. You complain, and he chuckles, lowering his big body to kiss you slow and gentle. But you don’t want slow and gentle, you want frantic monsterfucker sex in the shower, and you are going to get it. Your hands find his hair and you pull him down, devouring his mouth and taking control of the kiss as he whimpers against your lips.
He puts his hands under your ass and pulls you up. You wrap your legs around his middle, trying not to kick his wings accidentally as he presses hid big weird dick against your needy center. You both groan at the same time as he starts rubbing his length to your dripping pussy. You groan and moan, trying to muffle your sounds against his neck (not that it works).
He probes your pussy with his fingers, holding you up with just one arm and making you groan at his strength. Good goddess, you love gymbros so fucking much. You roll your hips, urging him inside your tight heat as he presses kisses down your neck. He’s so tall his back is hunched, but you don’t hive a fuck as he thrusts two fingers inside of you and you bite down on his neck to stop the groans from escaping. But you only accomplish to make him moan very loudly.
“Come on, come on, I’m ready…” You urge him again, bouncing on his fingers.
“But you are so tight and I’m so big…” He tries to argue, but you are more than over with that. You want his dick, and you want it now.
Your hand travels down and you grab his dick, squeezing the biggest part and marveling at the feeling. You almost thought it would feel like an actual lava lamp, but it’s fleshy and hot, hard in all the good ways. You jerk him a couple times, the liquid inside dancing and making you gape at him. He claims your mouth with his, taking your hand away from his dick and pushing the tip against your entrance.
He pushes inside slowly, but you have no time for that. You bite down on his lower lip and take advantage of the sudden confusion to push down on his dick. You get almost all of him in you, but the wider part is resting against your entrance when he stops you. You don’t like to beg, but you are almost about to when he starts wriggling his hips against you until you feel your body give out around him.
The first feeling of his widest part inside of you sends you almost into a coma. It’s so big but so good, it’s like you were made to take it, your body accommodating around it and your breath coming in short pants as he whispers sweet nothings over your head, trying to regain some kind of control. You don’t let him. You roll your hips and start bouncing on him. His dick is too wide, but it presses against your G-spot with every tiny twitch of his body, and going up and down is making your brain lose all train of thought.
Your body is mush against the shower wall when he pushes your body against it with more force than necessary, but you don’t care. He starts fucking you with intent, his dick going in and out of you, the sounds obscene as he fucks you fast and hard. You are chanting ah ah ah, not even caring somebody could come in and catch you two fucking in the showers like two desperate creatures.
His tail comes around your middle and settles over your ass, making you whimper as he reaches lower with it. It probes your asshole, and that’s enough for you to cry out and come messily around his cock buried deep inside. He starts cursing over you, his thrust stuttering as he pushes one last time and stuffs you with his come. He comes so much you can feel it gushing out of you as he thrusts a couple more times inside of you, the big part of his dick making you see stars as it rubs against your G-spot. It feels raw and abused in the best way possible.
After a couple more minutes of wet embrace, he lets you down slowly. You feel warm and content, marveling in the afterglow when he looks down and gasps. You follow his gaze in alarm, and when you see a trail of neon orange come go down your leg you laugh so hard you trip on the wet floor. He grabs you by the waist as you kiss his mouth tenderly, your smile so big the kiss is more teeth than lips, but you don’t care.
You can definitely get used to having hot shower sex with the lava lamp dick demon.
And that's a wrap on monster-kinktober. Hope y'all enjoyed this as much as I did. I would be super happy to hear your thoughts about the stories, which one you liked best, which idea you thought you wouldn't like but didn't, which monster surprised you more... :)
#demon#demon x reader#demon x you#demon x human#monster fucker#monster imagine#monster#monster x human#teratophillia#terato#monster boyfriend#monster x reader#monster fuqqer#monster kink#monster love#monster lover#monster romance#monster smut#monster x you#monsterfucker#monsterfucking nsft#monstertober#kinktober#monsterkinktober
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